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Seriously now:
Our boss just asked our manager to log in github and do a daily report of the number of lines we write every day.
....7 -
Never gonna git you up
Never gonna pull you down
Never gonna fork away
it's a bad day!
Never gonna git you up
Never gonna commit again
Never gonna get issues
That's how it goes4 -
/* Daily sit down meeting */
What did you work on yesterday?
- Tea
What are you working on today?
- Tea
Any road blocks?
- *sips tea* ...nah no13 -
People who claims "XXX is slow" should put screenshots of:
- CPU/MEM stats
- Task bar in full, to see how much crap is in background
- Desktop, to see how clean your computer is
If you don't have i7/16GB or you install gazillion of background apps, then your "slow" argument is simply not valid.20 -
Today pranked my colleague changing some semicolons in his PHP Code to greek question marks.
It took him tears, sweat and a long time until I told him.
Now he wants to kill me.
XD9 -
Annual performance peer review
Person who did review me wrote in the section “skills needed to improve”:
“He is introverted...”
Bloody hell!! What a big problem :) and how in earth you can “fix” it? And why everyone expected to be extraverted??11 -
Client: We need a news app.
Me: Sure, tell me more about it.
Client: Yeah, have you used Daily Hunt, I want that! Just in different colors.
Me: ...6 -
Anyone else concerned with their daily caffeine/cream/sugar consumption?
Currently at 5 coffees (+ cream + sugar) per day just to feel normal.
😦 ☕☕☕☕☕22 -
Client writes me in slack two hours after my 8 hours are done:
“We have a bug, can you fix it now? We need to have it in two days”
Me, smoking pressing cmd+q, closing laptop , listening fools gold by the stone roses, curtains down6 -
Let's build a house with no blueprint, no idea how it should look but have daily meetings about the bathroom... #Scrum3
-
Interviewer: One last thing, hope you are not married.
She: No, but how is that relevant?
Interviewer: Well because this job involves a lot of traveling you see...
She: Makes sense Sir. Also, I have a lawyer friend, in case you need any help...
Interviewer: What help?
She: Help with filing for your divorce Sir, as this job involves a lot of traveling...6 -
To save server cost and developers' productivity, devRant should have an intentional downtime of 3 to 6 hours daily :38
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Good to see instagram move to python3 without an exception. Literally that was smooth. Cheers to those who think Python is not scalable. 95 million photos on daily basis. 400 daily users.
https://thenewstack.io/instagram-ma...5 -
Since I've been seeing a lot of Linux distros, here's mine
Not a daily driver but something to get me used to it
8 -
Daily fortune;
Q: What do Winnie the Pooh and John the Baptist have in common?
A: The same middle name.1 -
Well, i have a few stories i would like to share with you :)
My neighbour asked me to fix her webcam.
I told her: But I am a programmer, not a repair service .
Next time my neighbour forgot her Skype password. Se asked me to hack it for her.
I told her: But I am a programmer, not a hacker.
My sister asked me to help her out in her program, because of some bug. Well, she is in the other part of the Country. But, i said, lets give it a try.
Well, it turned out to be some kind of mechanical remote scanner, with needed that exact same remote locally.
I told her: But I am a programmer, not a fictional remote signal scanner repairer.
My grandpa asked me, to copy his old gmail emails into his new laptop.
Well, i told him to log in. He logged in. Than i told him: It is done :D
Thanks for reading it :)4 -
Thank you devrant for being mainly text so I can enjoy rants on my daily commute through the internet-neuland germany1
-
CEO: if we would not give new features, clients would be bored and would not pay for tool.
me: but don't you think we should fix buggy old code, that would reduce effort and time that we daily invest in prod bugs?
CEO: I'm not saying we should not fix them but we should maintain the balance which is 80-20. 80% of our work would include adding new features.
😑
Next day in morning receives email:
There is a production issue, fix it asap.
😬11 -
This is what Daily Standups turn into when a hard baked Waterfall team is forced to adopt Agile... and the Manager is made the SMaster! 😳☹️😫😭
6 -
Am I the only one who just keep checking the daily rates for Bitcoins and other currencies and never buys them?15
-
If someone asks me how to hack software, I answer:
'Well, basically it's just like searching for open doors of a unknown house you want to get in.' 😎
Usually the answer disappoints everyone. Then I add:
'Why so surprised? Would you leave your main door open, if you want to store something securely in your house?'
I love those disappointed faces from time to time. 😋1 -
Starting my second #100DaysOfCode challenge today. I am sure I will be a much better dev afterwards. 3+ months of daily coding, here I come.4
-
A friend of mine did this.
Login: yes
Password: Don't have one
Password is incorrect
Login: yes
Password: incorrect5 -
Sites which send you an email when you unsubscribe from newsletters to ask why you didn't want to be emailed daily.
-
Teacher: You should plant trees at least on your birthdays. Go green.
Me: I do it daily Sir! Check my Github, its really green.
:D2 -
I should worship the people who came up with stack exchange and w3schools. can't thank enough for helping out daily in work. 🙌3
-
is it just me or daily stand ups feels like a bunch of virgins sharing thier first time feelings and details ...1
-
devrant made me realise there are people out there that go through the same daily shit I do.
Thank-you devrant -
My team has regular daily meetings they all call scrum. Meetings like 1+ hours. I wanna immolate myself in protest!2
-
SO. FUCKING. TIRED. Deadline looming. Burnt out. To everyone else just starting their daily grind: Have a good day.1
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Thinking to start business
Vegetables at door step.
I have 100+ farmers in contact. Who can provide vegetables daily.
What is your view/suggestion on it.22 -
You aren't qualified to be lead dev he says while calling, emailing, and texting daily to ask me how to do high level developer type stuff. Seriously.
-
Often I look at my seemingly perfect code 30cm away from screen, mumble "WTF", while asking me why it is not working.
My boss might think I'm retarded... -
I have been telling my dietitian's advice to my code.
Run daily.
None of us really care to listen though. 😄 -
"Yesterday I got distracted by cat GIFs on Reddit.
Today I will get distracted by cat videos on YouTube.
Tomorrow I'm planning to get distracted by cat photos on Pinterest."3 -
Thought to start a programming blog.
Registered domain and hosting.
Created some posts.
Didn't get new idea/content to post.
Disconnected domain from hosting out of shame.7 -
Daily fortune;
You're growing out of some of your problems, but there are others that
you're growing into.2 -
When your team wants to do daily scrum but there's only four of you and you work for different clients.1
-
Attendance at the daily standup [related to a project that hasn't even started yet] is mandatory!
What did you work on yesterday?
An unrelated project.
What are you working on today?
An unrelated project.
What are you working on for the next 3-6 months?
You guessed it: An unrelated project.
Any blockers?
This is interfering with an unrelated project, but when Agile says "jump", you say "how high?"!4 -
It's a very difficult choice for me. I use many open source things on a daily basis.
Unordered list:
-Linux
-Wireshark
-Gotop
-Ettercap
-VS Code
-PHP
-discord.js13 -
"UPDATE table SET field = 1"
Neglected to include "WHERE ClientId = XXX"
1800 users loose access to thier software in the middle of the day
Restored in 10 minutes thanks to disaster recovery policy.3 -
Android Pie im coming for you !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You are already running on my daily driver so lets just get you running on my old device !8
-
And today in Laravel-land, how to take fluent APIs to the utmost consequences.
Better...? Seriously? All your lines got longer and you know have closures to run.
10 -
bought one of most trending things domain name.
daily 1m+ hit every day for that keyword.
little confuse
what is next ?4 -
"The role: You will be designing and building responsive emails on a daily basis using HTML5/ CSS3/JavaScript"
Errrrrrrmmmm...5 -
It finally comes! <enki/>'s invitation code for "the 5-minute daily workout to level up your dev skills" they said.
6 -
My daily scrum, the team I'm in doesn't care and just blows our 10min daily into a 1hour "talk about anything" meeting2
-
Has your character and level of patience changed since the beginning of your dev career?
I have a feeling that stress mixed with a constant exposure to shitty code, hacky web stuff and abysmal stylesheets have been eroding my immense pillars of patience.
10 years ago I was able to try stuff out for hours with full motivation. I've started a habit of low level swearing recently and sometimes gain a strong urge to punch through a monitor.
I don't have it every day, but it seems worrying...
... or maybe it's just all due to having to HACK the shit out of everything to support fucking IE11.
This complete fuckery of a browser is still in use by about 0.5%... absolute braindamaged imbeciles if you ask me!2 -
Gmail - check twice in 2 hours
Fb - checked once in a week
LinkedIn- checked daily
WhatsApp- checked on notification..
Who else does this?6 -
Breakfast && software engineering daily podcast && admiring my new stickers == a good start to the day
Thanks DevRant!
-
Anyone else change their avatar almost daily? It feels dirty to wear the same thing everyday I think I'd start to stink...
-
*sigh*
Said by the former leader of a project that gathers statistics and metrics about software with 1M daily reports.
2 -
int hairsLostCount = 0;
while(!Code.isWorking){
Code.tryNewUglyFix();
++hairsLostCount;
Console.WriteLine(
"While fixing the code you lost "
+ hairsLostCount
+ " hairs already."
);
}
Coder.doCoffeeBreak(); -
Bugs fixed, bugs have been fixed, bugs removed, daily bug fixing, bugs have been weekly fixed, update, daily update, weekly update, ...
9 -
require "universe"
require "bioDan"
class ProductManager
def initialize(person_type)
@ideas = Universe.import_random_ideas({ mostly_shitty: true, association: person_type })
life_purpose
end
def life_purpose
@ideas.find_each do |idea|
bioDan.interrupt! unless bioDan.bad_mood?
bioDan.queue << idea
end
end
end
ProductManager.create "enthusiastic prick"
%x[crontab -e "0 09 * * * ruby this_script.rb > /dev/null"]
# 😥7 -
What's the use of implementing JIRA when you'll still demand sending daily reports with time duration for every task?!3
-
This is my first time experiencing agile development with its daily scrum meets, and I hate it already.4
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On a scale of 0 to who fucking cares, how important is it to stand on your feet during dailies?
I really hope this company never hires someone who uses a wheelchair.9 -
You are not prioritizing your work!!!
Well I am but you keep throwing more work in my direction on like a daily basis ...3 -
Do you know this:
Sometimes you come in to work develop a little bit and theres nothing to do for the rest of the day. You ask multiple times - still nothing. You have 10 minutes left until you can leave and your boss hits you with "oh dude here is a new project and it has to be done now"... THAT FUCKING SHIT TAKES LIKE 3 HOURS TO BE DONE AND YOU JUST TOLD ME NOW THAT IT HAS TO BE DONE TODAY OMG2 -
It is a PITA, when you have to triple escape single and double quotes in strings in order to get your stuff working.1
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Build something that helps anyone on their daily lives. Both personally and professionally. I wanna help them users.
-
"Raspbian has no auto-updates installed by default"
Raspbian on boot: "running daily apt update and upgrade"
K.3 -
I'm not the only one that still regularly(daily) listens to the devranters spotify playlist, am I?
It's fricking great.7 -
If you want to know everthing about my latest travels 🏖, hobbies 🏀, tech 🎮, daily struggles 🤹♂️ and more, just visit...
My browser history🌏2 -
I just wrote into my scientific essay: "thanks to devrant for tho daily motivation"... Now, I feel like the saver of my Informatics profs life
-
Just the daily android vs iOS bashing with my gf xD I'll never turn to the light side that is iOS.
2 -
Never include freelance as a budget source in daily expenses. Think of it as a reward only! Now, plans are cancelled T_T
1 -
People of DevRant, tell me what software you can't live without in your daily life.
I'll begin:
-Wox
-Snapchot
(Thanks to @Avyiel for showing those)25 -
Q: can you do this awsome project?
A: of course, i would love to develop this shit.
Q: ok, then lets get started. btw please do this in wordpress.
A: bye -
Editing an excel formula in notepad, copy it back to excel and excel says "you can only use 8192 characters in an excel formula" really?
Ohu Excel I hate you!4 -
Going to attempt to get one commit oh GitHub every single day. Just to build up a habit before grad school and to take my code more seriously.6
-
Anyone use AutoHotKeys?
If you do, what are some scripts you use daily?
I also plan to create some of my own scripts and I need suggestions5 -
I work on a daily bases in Photoshop and never considered that I can create scripts for it.. It's a whole new woooooooorrrrld (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ4
-
shutdown an old Jenkins CI pipeline from one of our teams... after one month they call us to bring it online again because they don't know how to build it manually.... lol #automation #scripting #jenkins2
-
I was searching for an optimized daily timetable which includes programming , learning new stuff , etc.
It would be great if you share your daily routine with me so I can maximize my performance.
Thanks 👍10 -
Why are most people here opposed to JavaScript?
I use it daily and can’t understand why people dislike it so much.25 -
What would your solution to daily commute traffic be if it were a solvable programming question?
Ps - I'm sitting in traffic right now and want to kill myself.4 -
Sometimes it confuses me, if I have to use pointers or not in c++ & qt. Especially when both variants work fine. :)1
-
The daily commute to my College takes 6 hours off my day.
And all I do is listen to music all 6 hours.5 -
When they ask you what you want to do for the next three months.
You give them an answer then poof.
Those are the list of your dream work.1 -
It's been almost 2 months since I quit my job, more or less, and seeing my Github contributions plummet from daily to nothing is very disheartening.
I tried applying for some jobs during this time but can't even land an interview. My motivation has slowly descended to being almost non-existent, only wanting to earn enough to support my hobbies. I officially have no motivation nor any aspirations in life now except to play video games and eventually, possibly, die alone.6 -
When you take your daily dosage of antidepressants to suppress the feeling you get from using that frameworks which advertises in large letters 'Making development fun again'.1
-
Ever in a situation that you followed exactly the steps in the instruction yet it just didn't work?
Well I bought a pack of sauce for "creamy garlic butter chicken", followed exactly the instructions on the package. Chicken was flavorless, potatoes were uncooked, yet broccolis were burnt.
Oh BTW, that will be my lunch for the whole next week ;-)
#dev trying to cook
#not my thing3 -
➡️ Started searching and reading the MailChimp docs.
⬅️ Ended reading the letsencrypt docs about CAA-Records. 🙈 -
function toCodeOrNotToCode() {
if (!isset($coffeeOrRedbull)) {
die('No work can be done');
} else {
return true;
}
}
// I don't drink Redbull daily4 -
Hi guys!
How much sleep do you need to have enough energy for the day?
Specially interested about the daily sporting coders.16 -
So I was in my linguistic workshop today where we were going over control and raising concepts.
Without second thought, I put down 'ctrl' for control. And the guy, who's also a coder, didn't find anything wrong when looking at my sheet.
I think my vocabulary is screwed up -
Its fucked how you can put spf and dkim in place and your legitimate emails are still blocked but yet you can receive viagra emails daily5
-
I take an excessively long, hot shower the day before.
>but don't you already do that on a almost daily basis?
Yes -
When you are stuck in between a very interesting Spring 5.0 GA release webcast and a stupid mandatory daily scrum call!
-
Wait Ubuntu 18.04 daily builds have been released since November last year?!?!?!
Time to brick some shit! :-D -
So yesterday i upgraded the packages on my pi, docker being one of them. After that all my containers were down and couldn't be restarted. The error message said the container was already started...
Using the internet i found out other people had that problem too after upgrading to docker 18.02. I ended up removing all containers and searching the bash-history for the docker-run-commands to create new containers.
DOCKER, LISTEN UP. YOU'RE COOL AND SAVED ME A LOT OF TIME. YOU HAVE MINOR ISSUES, BUT THAT'S OK. BUT IF YOU CRASH MY CONTAINERS ONCE MORE I'LL GO CAPTAIN AHAB ON YOU.
Oh, and some more armhf-containers would be nice. WHY CAN I ONLY RUN DOCKER-REGISTRY ON AMD64-ARCHITECTURE? -
We do have a social life. A very caring one that supports us when are lost, when we are confused, and when we question our life :)
16 -
I wish there was a better way to tell my non technical team mates that a developer cannot switch his development machine on daily bases 😢1
-
So this past few days of a mix bag of emotions. Friday's weekly deliverables on our first dry run at launch, I squeeze across the line in an embarrassing finish. Decision to proceed with the live run to be delayed, not going to happen if I've got something to say about it.
Next day, vendor on the house my wife has purchased (our first!!) and says we can move the settlement date ahead 4 weeks! Winning!
Monday, meeting with all stakeholders on the fuck up that was my deliverables I'm responsible for, granted a conditional pass. "Don't worry, I got this."
Tuesday, received the results of a technical challenge I've given one of the developer candidates - he smashed it. Keen to give him the job! -
To contribute to github projects every day. It would be possible if I didn't have 2h daily commute...6
-
I started making programs that simplified my daily life, and I have started to reverse engineer everything by just thinking of how it could work
-
Am I the only one who thinks cmd is better than powershell?
P.S. I do not use windows as my daily OS either, just on College pc.3 -
For developers MacBook pro is great. I pray to Git god daily for a MacBook pro. Hope Git god bless me with a MBp15
-
I don't if this is common or not but it happens with me every day.
Reading from mobile and pressing down arrow on laptop.😂
But the most common one still is lowering or increasing the music volume on either devices, when the music is being played on exactly other. 😂😂
Multitasking is really fun.2 -
Daily life on this project: tickets are blocked by test env. Fucking impressive server ops team we have here, took a month to add 1 test user.
-
Trying to decide which album to listen to first thing in morning is increasingly becoming my most important task these days. -T7 to launch out of here!3
-
I am now so used to using Linux on the daily, that using a Windows machine feels, strange. I hope this doesn't hurt my MTA OS certs.2
-
Normal and daily task that an engineer approached in a totally different angle that even you didn't anticipate.1
-
Rant here... Consistent daily Mob or pair pair programming is for noobs, non-competent programmers that delay deadlines and cannot hold their own in corporate development environments4
-
!rant
Besides devrant podcast, which good podcasts you guys usually listen to?
I usually listen to:
Adventures in angular
Javascript jabber
Software engineering daily
DotNetRocks2 -
|----------------------------------------------------|
| FALSE(1) User Commands |
| |
| NAME |
| false - do nothing, unsuccessfully |
|----------------------------------------------------|
My daily activity summed up in a linux command man page. -
Make an awesome app that lets devs rant about their daily basis and no one bites an eye, change the way they navigate and everyone loses their head2
-
So I know it's possible to run a lot of things from the terminal. Does anyone run their daily driver exclusively on a terminal? Just curious.3
-
As a programmer in an non maintainer / support role, how much do you have to call customers on daily basis?6
-
During interview about possible spying by Huawei President of Czech republic said few minutes ago that he will do his best to try to negotiate our stand with China, since he does not see any problem with possible spying, because its common practice of trade war between tech giants. He later added that he does not think that leaked names and addresses might be any problem "What would people do with such an info".
I mean... what difference would make if he had a lobotomy?7 -
Anybody else's company have daily irrelevantly annoying news reports about said company that pop up on log on?
-
https://github.com/HTML-as-programm...
Just gonna drop this here...
(link courtesy of codeproject daily news)1 -
Just curious, how many total daily users does devRant have, and what is the peak user number in any given day?4
-
I like scrum. I really love working that way. And imo the daily scrum meeting is pretty useful.
But now we have two of them every day. I don't know how to feel about it :/ the one mornings is good and all but the one in the noon just kills my focus1 -
!ng5
Out of nowhere my directive stops working... Didn't change anything there in die last weeks.😥
No console Errors and no console log entries i added.
Why? 😥 -
Do you work with a company that requires you write articles on medium daily? If you don't then don't complain about the company.1
-
Instead of doing the daily task on the computer for my summer job...I wrote a program that did it for me daily...Best summer job ever
-
Finished Sprint-Task "Update WordPress-Core + Language >> 4.7" on wednesday evening.
Have to take it back into "doing" next morning, because 4.7.1 was released... -_-1 -
Dear devs, what gadgets do you often use that help your daily programming?
Even if you only have m+k, what do you prefer?7 -
I want to code daily. I know that I'm not motivated enough to do so. So I came up with this: Every day I will donate 5€ to some cause, except for when I code that day.
I have no idea if this seems reasonable. What do you think? Is there already a tool for something like this? Do you have some other ideas?4 -
I have grown used to hunting for ; issues. But when my haskell doesn't compile because my work partner used notepad and tabs instead of gedit and spaces... I suffer ;-;1
-
Share with us your favourite tech podcast, mine are :
Software Engineering Daily
Soft Skills Engineering3 -
There are blogs and chrome extensions for Designers, is there any web development blog/extension to update me daily on new tech/info/tricks 🤔6
-
What's your ideal and current work time?
How many hours do you work per day and when do you start?
And what days you are mostly off?11 -
I have a daily data limit on my mobile data which is the only one I use since the others are shit including my current landline connection. There's a good one but it's not available in my area yet.
So I have to wait days to download anything heavy. To top it all off, my friends with their great internet downloading gigs of stuff makes me feel empty inside.1 -
Everything I did was wrong with a CTO because I didn't format identically to him, balls were busted daily.
-
Trying to teach work experience kids is hard af when you barely know how to explain, you just kinda do it daily so you figure stuff out
-
Listening to the audio book named 'SuperIntelligence:Paths,Dangers,Straegies'
Daily 1 hour listening till 14 days as it is 14:17:07 long 😑 -
NotARant:
Post your workday schedule! How many of your have Scrums? How many hours are you in meetings/talking/coding3 -
Question!
Where do you guys get your daily news about Tech, IT, Dev Related things?
I want something with push notifications and just serious sources without bullshit infos.9 -
How do you guys feel about daily stand-up ?? Is it wasting time or like the method sent from the god of project management.2
-
Which is better; Ubuntu or Fedora? I'm debating moving to Fedora as a daily driver but information online is a bit all over the place.6
-
!Rant
Any recommendations for a daily planner that runs on Win7?
Prefer to have something desktop based (with Sync if possible) as I always have too many browser tabs open so a web based one will get lost or closed and therefore not do its job. -
Any c++ embedded system programmers here.what kind of work do you do ,what are your daily tasks etc.and what boards do you use
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