Never delete code immediately. Always comment it out first.

Code as a first year student..

"Let me write the code that works first, I'll reformat it later."

*After a month*

"help. ;-;"

Boss throwing up a huge source code that I didn't see before.

Boss: Hey, this is an app from a contractor to do XYZ.

Me: Oh, okay.. so?

Boss: You will continue the code and the maintenance now. How much time do you need to implement X feature?

Me: I need to see the code first, can't say nothing now.

Boss: ok I need estimation now.

Me: *getting nervous* I need to see the fuckening code first. if you want estimation now I would say one year..

Boss: what?

Me: what?

How it should be:
- First: solve the problem
- Second: Write your code.

How many people do:
- First: Write code
- Second: solve code problems
- Third: Adapt code with requirements
- Forth: get lost on your spaghetti code
- Sixth: make a suicide

The first time you look at the code base of a large legacy application

When your code compiles with no errors at first try..

When you start reading someone else's code and all you do is properly indent for the first 30 mins so you can actually read it.

Friend: Dude, could you look at my code, see what's wrong??

Me: Its not indented. Indent is properly first..

Wrote the code
Ctrl+s
Ctrl+s again just in case
The page doesnt work
Ctrl+s again cause maybe it missed it on the first few tries

Writing code for a startup without signing a contract first...

Looking back at the code you wrote in your first year of programming

First Law of code

I sometimes write code by first putting comments and then writing the code.
Example
#fetch data
#apply optimization
#send data back to server
Then i put the code in-between the comments so that i can understand the flow.
Anyone else has this habit?

wrote shitload of clean architecture beautiful code and compiled successfully on the first try without crashes or errors

The first code review

When my code works as intended on the first go on a new language

The first time writing code in an airplane was very uncomfortable. Everyone around me thought I was hacking the airliner.

I was writing HTML.

!rant

Guys! I did it! Its possible!

My task was to extension a code in php. I wrote 100 lines of code and then it workes on first try without any errors!

This is a milestone!
Bill Gates is nothing against me!

You are truly committed to code when your first commit is on 14th feb 🤓

When my code gets past testing first time

Today I created my first public repo... I've never commented my code so much.

First, solve the problem. Then, write the code.

Code review, here the simplified version. What the fuck has to be wrong with someone who seriously codes the first variant in production code?!

My code works in first run , but why ? -_-

When you write 100+ lines of code and it compiles the first time

QA: did you test the app first?
Dev: Yes, I test all my code all the time.

*QA crashes the app within first 5 seconds.*

My look when my code compiles at first go.

*That's suspicious*

First day of work,
team lead asked me to study and read the source code.
Opened one file...

Wrote my first code as an Intern for two weeks. Sent for code review. 30 different bugs 😔

When you're a beginner at programming and needs to code more but just made your first DevRant account.. 😭😭😭

My first code :-
#include<stdio.h>
void main()
{ printf("Hello Divya"); }

Output :- I have a boyfriend...

My gf got me my first "rubber ducky". He is a bit sarcastic and rough on my code but I mean... He's Deadpool!!

Today I wrote a regex expression that worked on the first try. Today I learned that the hardest code to debug is bugless code.

My first code review.

When my code works the first time

Just trying Visual Studio Code because of it's first product from Microsoft that are totally free😂😂😂

My first code:-

#include<stdio.h>
void main() {
printf("Hello Priya");
}

Output:- I have a boyfriend!

I stole this but it’s true when code works on the first try

First line of google chrome source code

#include "ram_eater.h"

“Looking at code you wrote more than two weeks ago is like looking at code you are seeing for the first time.” – Dan Hurvitz

On my first day at work realising that I would be working on a code base with 1.5 million+ lines of code and the only documentation is half a paragraph some guy wrote the day before he left 😑

am so excited a girl friend of mine is graduating tomorrow with a first class honors in CS.She taught me how to code.

"First remove the break points, and then commit the code".

He described it as if the breakpoints could stop time!! 😂

I refactored half of my code and it worked for the first attempt. What kind of sorcery is this?

You know there's something wrong when you write 50+ lines of code and it compiles on the first go

Just found this while trying to understand some code:

```
bool ok = true;
if(ok) {
// lots of code here
} else {
// even more code here
}
```

I thought this was worth my first rant...

Yesterday, I decided to rewrite the code of a project I'm doing for a week. I rewrote all the code with a better agility (is it the good word? ) and I ran it. It worked the first time! It worked the first tiiiiime!

The best feeling in the world is when your code works the first time or when you close 100 tabs when you finish work

Design first, code second

Found a "great" variable name while maintaining legacy code:

{
...
Report goodbye = Report::first($id);
goodbye->delete();
...
}

Goodbye report! 😂😂😂

You refactor after there's code. You can't have clean code if there isn't code to be cleaned to begin with. Code first. Think of perfection later.

When your code actually works in first try

*first class*
Teacher: Ok, you have to write if you know how to code, and write the languages too.
Guy in front of me: Yeah! Code!
Me: Hey, you know any language?
Guy: Sure! PHP...
Me: *Hm, okay, maybe he's goo...*
Guy: ...and HTML
Me: ...

Plot Twist: My code worked on the first try.

The first time you execute your code and there are no errors.
Nice weekend.😎💪

I saw a piece of code that, to my knowledge of software engineering, should have never worked in the first place. The code doesn't know that, and it works anyway.

I call this a "bumblebug".

I have to refactor code from an intern. He's VERY lucky that he already left the company.

If I'd say he programms like the first human that would be very insulting to that first human.

It looks like code at first sight, but when you try to understand what he was doing to achieve his goal you get a brainfuck. Duplicate code, unused code, dumb variable names like blRszN.

He wrote unittests like "expects Exception to be thrown or Server returns Statuscode 500".
Yes, Exception, the generic one.

THESE FUCKING TESTS ARE GREEN BECAUSE YOU DID NOT ACTUALLY TEST SOMETHING.
GREEN IN THIS CONTEXT MEANS: YOUR PRODUCTION CODE IS A BIG PILE OF SHIT.

I already removed 2 bugs in a test which caused another exception than the "expected" one and the test does still not reach the actual method under test.

Dumb fucktard.

The sad thing: The fuckers who did the code reviews and let this shit pass are still here writing code.

Sometimes dirty code is more efficient than clean code.

If features get dropped frequently and requirements change every few days, writing best-practices, tested code is wasted time. Learned that in my first job where I thought the other devs were all bad. Until I realized their bad code pays my salary, and my clean code takes more time to develop.

All code ninjas out there have a story, and it all started with the Hello World!!!.
What a Irony.

You know that you are a Programmer when you do code mentally and when testing it it works at first try

Did I ever tell you kids about the time I worked for a company that got a contract to develop an iOS application around some object detection software that had been developed by another team?

Company I was working for was a tiny software consultancy, and this was my first ever dev job (I’m at my second now 😅). Nobody at the company has experience building mobile applications but CEO decides that the app should be written in React Native because _he_ knows React Native.

During a meeting with the client, CEO jokes about how easy the ask is and says he could finish it in a weekend. Please note that Head of Engineering had already budgeted a quarter for the work. CEO says we can do it in a week! And moves up the deadline. And only assigns two engineers to project. I am not one of those engineers.

The two engineers that are put on it struggle. A lot. They can’t seem to get the object detection to work at all, and the code that’s already written is in Objective-C. I realize one of the issues is that the engineers on the project can’t read Objective-C because they have no experience with Objective-C or even C. I have experience with C, so I volunteer to take a look at it to try to see what’s going on.

Turns out the problem is that the models are trained on one type of image format and the iPhone camera takes images in a different format.

The end of the week comes, they do not succeed in figuring out the image conversion in React Native. There’s an in-person demo with the customers scheduled for the next Monday. CEO spends the weekend trying to build the app. Only succeeds in locking literally every other engineer out of the project.

They manage to negotiate a second chance where we deliver what we were supposed to deliver at the original schedule.

I spent the weekend looking up how to convert images and figure it would be a lot easier to interface with the Objective-C if we used Swift. Taught myself enough Swift over the weekend to feel dangerous. Spoke to Head of Engineering on Monday and proposed solution — start over in Swift. Volunteer to lead effort. Eventually convince them it’s a good idea (and really, what’s the worst that can happen? If this solves our main problem at the moment, that’s still more progress than the original team made)

Spend the next week working 16 hour days building out application. Meet requirements for next deadline. Save contract.

And that’s ONE of the stories of my first dev job that got me hired as a senior engineer despite only having 10 months of work experience in the industry.

Just received a job invitation for my first developer position. But I never wrote a line of code in my life. I guess my interviewer too.

Today users weren't able to sign up on our website in production.

The guilty code :

int ttl = 5256005760;

The first who find why will have a candy.

If your code compiles at your first attempt, try again because you are breaking the Murphy lay. The space-time could be damaged.

What was your first line of code?

As an Indian girl, there are more chances of my family finding me a suitable groom than my code having its first run error free.
FML.

When I run the code for the first time without bugs

I saw this on the first page of a book that discusses techniques for writing clean code... The more I think about it, the more accurate it tests.

HI there
First post always feels like the first lines of code or first commit ever ! It's exciting yeah ?
Like Hello World app
Wish me luck

WOW!

my code just worked on the first try....

When you try to use 6-year old code for your first project as a beginner...

This is my first php code ever written, nice to look back.

Writes code that runs without bugs first time....

A little gratitude would be most appreciated when you work like ~24 hours non-stop! The people have a life too you know!

"Debugging is twice as hard as writing the code in the first place. Therefore, if you write the code as cleverly as possible, you are, by definition, not smart enough to debug it." - Brian Kernighan

When you code berserk style for an hour, and the first test run just works perfectly!

When your code is working without any errors. And without any help the first time you compile it.

When someone says their code won't work, even when they tried adding the first post from a StackOverflow page.

I Just created My first code in brainfuck.

My First reaction was why was this made, but as I continued it seemed to make some sense, even though All I was using was some random ascii symbols

My first new year resolution for this 2017 is learn to do the f****ng unit test before implement the code

Debugging is twice as hard as writing the code in the first place. Therefore, if you write the code as cleverly as possible, you are, by definition, not smart enough to debug it. :)

My own code when I first started...

Life lesson #32767: Don't review code commits before your first cup of coffee.

Just found the first CLI game I made in c++. The code is a mess but it still works just fine.

My first line of code today 🙈⚠️

```
<div class="corona-banner"></div>
```

A file renamer script which had about 100 lines of code when i first started programming.

I just fixed my first code issue in my first IT job ever! Holy fucking shit I'm almost senior software engineer by now!

That magic joy of knowing that my instructions will run on someone else's computer is just mind-blowing.

Reading code you wrote when you first started programming

Nothing makes me more suspicious than when my code runs and works on the first try

First step to refactoring your predecessor's code.... Vent in a comment...

I love code but my wife comes first. My kids come first. Although I do code for gun, a lot of times my other hobbies come first.

My life comes first. Am I alone?

Going for my first code review. My colleagues and I will read through my main class, which is 832 lines long and a two-three comments.

!rant
Just wrote my first piece of code using neural networks. Even explaining it to people is fun: "So you wrote a program that writes code?" "Exactly!"

!rant
First time in my life I can't wait to get home to code. This is exciting! 😊😊😊

I typed like 200 lines of c++ code and it ran on first try but i still dont like c++, no

When your code works from the first time

the first code on every samsung app
if(enoughSpace())
run()
else
annoyUserWith(new Popup())
closeApp()

I dont always comment but when i do, its because i have written some code that may seem like i am a retard on first look.

Worst legacy experience is when you go back to a project you were working on when you first started learning. My own code disgusts me the most.

Time I made a friend... oh due to code?
Well yea let’s solve the first part of this first 😢

Actually I met my significant other putting my self through tafe (you aussies will know) nearly 10 years ago so I guess that counts 😎

Wrote my first code on a commodore vic 20. I was 7 years old

My favorite paradox:

What came first, the compiler or the source code?

!rant

TFW your graphics ASM code works on the first try.

Yes, it just happened to me, and it's a relatively annoying rectangle drawing routine.

Writing complicated ASM code and making it work on the first try is definitely a new thing to me, I feel so powerful! >:D

When you write a messy code and it works perfectly the first time

Happy Father's Day to all the ranters out there! may your bugs be few, and your code execute correctly the first time.

First day of new year, first day of relaxing until my new job starts .. Plan to travel and not code for awhile!

Asks help from the top student in my class. Answers "I'm really bad at debugging. My code always compiles the first time" 🙃

Spent first 2 days of my job compiling existing code

When your code runs with no errors at first try

Started working on a new project.

Sent out my first code review for that repo.

An intern pinged me and blamed me that I have added so many comments to get more lines of code.

I have no words to reply him.

1- Copy/Paste (code)
1- Googling before trying to fix a bugs by myself first.
1- Never finish my side projects.
2- (Worst) Still doing all the above.

My first login function

const login = (email, password) => {
If (email && password) {
return true
} else {
return false
}
}

How about you started off with programming?

I'll start with a veery old picture of my first Java-Code I've written (if you can call it eben that). At that time I tried to code using a JS-Designer. Just hilarious. 😂😂😂

my reaction when my code runs without any error, that too for the first time.

Me sitting down to code for the first time in months after having an extended focus on design

This is my first rant! I feel this every time I flag each function on my code looking for my mistake and still doesn't work:

I have reached a stage in my career that when my code works in the first try, I'm more skeptical than excited about it.

Who remembers their first code review?

First time people have forked and stared one of my github repositories.
Kinda exciting, but also scary. (they're looking at my terrible code)

I'm proud of a chess project I made in Java, at university. It was awful but worked!
One of the first times I did some code without googling it 😋
PS: I don't code and work in Java!

I used a code snippet from SO today for the first time in a long time...This feel...I do not like

There is this general idea that people have that when programmers are able to run their code in their first attempt, without any error, they think of ourselves as geniuses. But i think that is the case only when you are starting to code. If a programmer with enough experience runs his/her code in their first attempt without any issues, he/she just says their thanks and moves on, because they know that the code can sense cockiness and if they get too carried away now they'll have to pay the price in future.

First i write the code, when i finish with all of it, i write the coments 🤷

That awesome feeling when your code works from the first try.

Hi.. one month ago i started to learn JavaScript (my first programming language)
In the 2nd proyect we create a Data dashboard i do my very best effort to create Js funcional code and other 2 girls works in css and html.
Im really proud of my work (1st time!)
A few guys told me JavaScript is awful and difficult but in a few weeks we will start in jquery.
In 2 weeks im gonna participate in Angelhack Santiago Hackathon 2018
I need an advice for me its a really big step

The moment when you edit your code and run it but nothing changes and you try looking for the mistake in yor code but the only mistake is that you forgot to compile it first...

My code works at first run.
This can't be right.
Something must have gone terribly wrong.
I don't trust you computer!

Hey guys! Why don't you share your first code of the year?

(At least a small piece of it)

Any tips on how to properly document my code? I'm going to start my first internship soon so I need to learn it.

For productivity I get to work at 5:30 and code until 8:30 before I open my emails for the first time. That's when my real job starts as a Project Manager (in the throes of teaching himself to code at age 37)

When it finally clicked on how to write tests first and I could actually make code progress with it.

i *hate* when someone changes my code with out doing any of: asking first || commenting changes || telling me afterward.

When the code runs perfectly on the very first hit.

Today, for the first time since I've started coding, I had a legitimate use case for the multi-cursor feature of my IDE in reasonably DRY code.

Edit: nvm, I added a version of the function to support arrays on the first argument.

Passed a code test for once and invited to interview with engineers.

I’m nervous yet proud. Any tips? It’s the first time I’ve reached this point

First day went great. Got my laptop all set up. I still have no idea what I’m doing. Imposter syndrome really set in as of yesterday. Looking at the code base and seeing all of the code made me feel stupid. I understand I won’t know the whole code base.

It’s also my first developer job. I just feel stupid. I’m super eager to learn. But I feel like I’m going to ask a lot of stupid questions as well.

Idk how to feel. I guess a fraud would be the right answer? How can I get more comfortable at my new and first developer job?

refactored model code to be async and use promises. executed successfully on first try.
ME: this looks suspicious, leta debug it!!!!

Spent 2 days refactoring code written by our "offshore team". I've done refactoring on the same code in the past, probably upto about a week in total of refactoring now. The code looked like it was written by someone who had literally just finished their first "Hello World" app - loads of code blocks copied and pasted instead of declaring reusable functions.
The whole thing should have been done by us in the first place.
And yet our money-conscious company wants to employ more of these developers. Cheaper than us? Sure. Quantity over quality though, but I guess money is all that matters to the big cheese

My code works exactly as intended, the first time, every time.

RAAAANT!!!

Fuck EntityFW Code First!!

At first it seemed harsh, but then I learned that he committed code like

if (a == b)
return true;
else
return false;

Needing to teach myself M$ InfoPath because of legacy business code. What better way to learn than getting the feet a little wet first!

I did my first ever open source contrinbutions yesterday! It was quite refreshing working in a different code base and fixing bugs! :D

Fire alarm @ work and the first question i get:
"Did you push up the code" lol 😂

So here's the first rant after joining new company. I was reading someone's existing code and I found this line:

return 42; // Something *really* weird happened

🤔

My dev Goals:
- Write better code commenting more.
- Create my first Open Source Project and publish it on GitHub.
- Improve my design skills.

When I first started coding, I always assumed my code was working without testing it. Now, I assume the output is wrong if get it right on the first try :/

Good Idea: Code Reviews

Bad Idea: Code Reviews before your first sip of coffee.

When your code works correctly the first time 😏 👌

There is nothing scarier than code that compiles on the first attempt !

My first copy pasted php code. #IYKWIM

For the first time apart from Data Structures and Algorithms, there was a Machine Coding round where they asked me to create a small app using any language without data persistence or GUI, to see my code designing ability, LLD, code quality, whether I can implement OOP and write modular code and to see how extensible my code will be.

I did well.

Did a big refactor with no tests and the code works first try 🤔🤔

Make my code work from the first time

IMAGINE. Your code is working in the 1st attempt.
Wow, Amazing, Cool
Now go back to first word.......👀👀😑😑😑😑😑

The worst rejection was one after a first interview and a subsequent 3 hour code challenge. I was super nervous as it was my first code challenge in an interview that was one of my first. I wasn't confident when I submitted my work, but the time was up and so there wasn't much to be done.

The rejection was simple. Pure silence. No arguments, or feedback. Just didn't hear nothing back and that didn't help my fresh out of university self-confidence.

Big plays...

function collapseView(element){
/**
*it doesnt work at the first time, the function needs to be called again
*/
element.collapse();
element.collapse();
}

Literally copy and paste this code..

Leason, never code when hungary. Eat Pizza first. 🍕

Good code is like a good video game. When you read it first time, it feels like magic, and you feel like it does more than it actually can.

Never comment, and you'll be rethinking your code every day like it was the first

Start the reading of "clean code".
First thing that i have learn "The only valid measurement of code quality: WTFs/minutes".
What do you think about it ? Agree or not ?

Your code looks like it runs on the first try.

When you add a bunch of entity framework relationships in code, and it works the first time... Wtf.

<html> <script> alert("Hello World"); </script> </html>
This will be my first line of code which is actually being used by users.

But is HTML it even code?

The feeling you have when new code compiles without error from the first try!

I've just started my new career with a job in IT operations and I love it. After my electrical engineering degree I fell into a job as a website manager for a small company, I self taught html and css and I knew from then that I had found a job that didn't feel like a job. I'm​ excited to learn everything I need to know to progress as far as I can go in this industry. In my first few weeks at this new job (where i have my own office!) I've self taught python to create automation scripts for live projects, currently up to my eyeballs trying to figure out how to change the VB code for an excel module.....Then there have been so many other projects and bugs and I love it! Any tips and advice is greatly appreciated!

I'm a php developer

I don't like
If (something) {
//code here
}

I like
if (something)
{
//code here
}

Sorry.

EDIT:

However, in javascript, I'm fine with the first example. I may need professional help.

Bad dev habit: code first, ask questions later.

Other than that I'm pretty much perfect <3

When you have to talk about code and your not sure of the person in front of you knows more.

First business rendez vous!

Ill rant after ;)

Oh boi, that weird feeling when the code is alright, no errors, the first time you save or compile it

The best feeling you can have, is when rewriting big parts of code and it works perfectly first try.

when I finished my first project which had >1800 lines of code and a visual interface 👐👌

Copypast first time - I fooled code. Copypast second time - code fooled me.

Went through some of the first code I ever wrote and saw that I had typed bar == !true...

Oh how the times change

I always try to break my code when it works without errors the first time.

Just to be sure that the code I wrote is being used.

Anyone else?

When you know you should be writing your tests first, then your code. But you secretly do it the other way round anyway.

Let me just put all this code in one place, get things working first I'll split it later.

First day is over on the new job. So much information about onboarding and hr, but I just want to code...

Wrote code, tested it, and pushed to production for the first time in 3 months.

Great {diety} in {afterLifeLocation} it felt so goooooood to get back to developing.

Once a programmer writes his first line of code, he can never undo it.

Despite of no-code mood, I opened the IDE and started typing with a single finger.

What's wrong with us? We breath code

Had one of those unicorn coding moments where my from-scratch code worked the first time I wrote and tested it. That hasn’t happened in a long time.

For the first time in 20 years I used and xor operator.
I wrote in line of code instead of two.

How uses the xor operator?

!rant

Today I got access to the code for the new contract I’m working on.

It all built first time from source.

I’ve never wept such joyful tears.

*opens up a library file, reads first line*
{-# LANGUAGE TemplateHaskell #-}

Oh boy, this is gonna be intense...
I always dread having to go through Template Haskell code.

New hire and haven't did anything other then look at the code base. How long did it take until you actually start contributing code at your first job?

*my code runs on the first try*

me: Holy fuck. What the fuck have I done?!

I read the source code of a guy who decided to name his variables, functions, and comments in Spanish which is not a language I'm familiar with. So I need to first translate the code into English and then understand what it does.

How old were you when you wrote your first line of code?
I was 13

Finished up my first Advent of code today with python 👌

the code compiled at first attempt 😖

*Code actually works first time debugging*
Me:

Thinking of writing new books

"How to become obese in a week?"

And

"Race between your code and yourself. Who explodes first!"

Using vim without plug-in and writing my first ever python code (not "hello world") on it
Hail emacs!