Interview with a candidate. He calls himself "C++ expert" on his resume. I think: "oh, great, I love C++ too, we will have an interesting conversation!"

Me: let's start with an easy one, what is 'nullptr'?
Him: (...some undecipherable sequence of words that didn't make any sense...)

In my mind: mh, probably I didn't understand right. Let's try again with something simple and more generic

Me: can you tell me about memory management in C++?
Him: you create objects on the stack with the 'new' keyword and they get automatically released when no other object references them

In my mind: wtf is this guy talking about? Is he confusing C++ with Java? Does he really know C++? Let's make him write some code, just to be sure

Me: can you write a program that prints numbers from 1 to 10?

Ten minutes and twenty mistakes later...

Me: okay, so what is this <int> here in angle brackets? What is a template?
Him: no idea

Me: you wrote 'cout', why sometimes do I see 'std::cout' instead? What is 'std'?
Answer: no idea, never heard of 'std'

I think: on his resume he also said he is a Java expert. Let's see if he knows the difference between the two. He *must* have noticed that one is byte-compiled and the other one is compiled to native code! Otherwise, how does he run his code? He must answer this question correctly:

Me: what is the difference between Java and C++? One has a Virtual Machine, what about the other?
Him: Java has the Java Virtual Machine
Me: yes, and C++?
Him: I guess C++ has a virtual machine too. The C++ Virtual Machine

Me (exhausted): okay, I don't have any other questions, we will let you know

And this is the story of how I got scared of interviews

My boyfriend.

He's an amazing software developer, has a few more years of experience with me, and because he's not a colleague, I feel comfortable asking him dumb questions. Combined with his patience and willingness to explain things very thoroughly, it's helped my post college learning immensely.

I love that I can cook him dinner, and then go to him with a code smell that I found at work, and spend the meal discussing ways to make cleaner code. I'm not sure who the real winner is in that situation. Probably my employer, haha.

Uncle: "It must be noisy, programming. I've seen a datacenter on TV, and those computers are loud" — "It is noisy, but that's more my coworkers fault"

Sales guy at the office: "So you see patterns in the code, you can read this cryptic mess?" — "Uh this is PHP, Its not the syntax that makes it hard to read, it's the dimwit who wrote it"

Father-in-law: "Could you reprogram my laptop, I got a virus trying to download por... nature documentaries" — "I'm not that kind of doctor"

Mother-in-law: "How will you sustain a family, you just play video games all day" — "I make your monthly teachers salary in four days"

Girlfriend: "I learned some Lua today because I needed a world of warcraft extension for..." — "I love you too"

Love it to code on the passenger seat while my girlfriend is driving. Commits at 230km/h.

My wife is getting better and better each day writing code. And she is starting to really love the terminal too!
With this rate, she is going to know more GNU+Linux than me.
😎

Clients love to use the word "Broken" (or synonymous word).

Client: The program is broken. Fix it ASAP.

Me: Ok, give me some details so I can help you.

Client: No, fix it. *Becomes an ass*

Me: Alrighty then, let me sit here doing nothing for a couple of hours. Then say that I tested the code against your original request, and it's working as intended.

Client: Sounds good.

(Pretty sure that's how it went)

girl friend: What kind of stripper would you want for a Bachelorette party?!?

me: no stripper...

girl friend: like a coding stripper?

me: what?

girl friend: he'd come out and be like, one zero one one zero one...

me: I love that you think I code in binary hahaha

girl friend: like the matrix!

me:
*pauses*
*contemplates explaining what binary is*
yes, like the matrix

:D

Me 6 months ago: "This is fucking genius. Beauutiful. Look at that code. See how I did this? Wow, I love it. Fuck I'm good"

Me Now: " What. the. ffuck? Wtf is this? What was I thinking? Goddamn. "

*reduces 3 methods and 37 lines to 2 methods and 8 lines*

Well at least it shows I'm still learning.

And when I was busy wasting my time on my girlfriend who is my ex now, my friends were busy coding an AI chat-bot. Now, I use their chat-bot to talk to when lonely.

Moral :
Girlfriends ditch you.... code doesn't. Love code.

I am done with people, I just want one single room, with good internet, dual monitor setup... And I can spend my whole life like that... Being social, fuck that shit... I have devRant for that... and rest, I just want to code, listen to music, drink coffee and sleep like hell...

Why is it that I can understand some other dev's code faster that understanding someone's feelings. Why is it that I am good with principles of Programming Languages, but not the basic Principles of Humanity... Yes, I agree I don't have feelings, but is it wrong not to have feelings, I am a dev, I am supposed to be good with Codes, not humans... I want to be in my small space of close people. (My family), and that's it... I am no good with others. I hate Facebook, but love devRant, I spend more time on StackOverflow than that on WhatsApp. Why is it so... Why

Drug dealer : yo, you code right?

Me: yeah, why

Drug dealer: can you hack into the police station.. You know, see if they are checking me out.. If they know I'm dealing.. I'll just move

(I've never hacked but I know i could learn if I have to)

Me:... That's actually brilliant

I love in a small town at the moment.. I bet the police security is a joke

Kinda high risk though

I am gonna rage for a bit.
Before I start, know this: I diehard love development, computer science and everythjng surrounding it.

The area comes with a very nice and interesting history and cultural impact. In particular, here as it was in the U.S of A. I love it, I love researching till my eyes beg me to stop and my brain fries. I love reading about history and the silicon knights that madd shit happen through digital wizardry.

And you can only imagine how happy I was when I got my shiny lol B.S in Comp Sci, keep it in my office and errthang.
I
Fucking
Love
My
Field

But. I have noticed something recently. In 2018(obviously before that) this new generation has a knack for making things cringey.

What do I mean by that?

Well, shit like that. Is it necessary? Or what about images(multiple) showing stuff like "double tap for your favorite language!"

Why? Why must we be this way? Why do people find a way to shit all over nice things? Is this shit necessary?

I specially hate pictures of girls showing their legs and right next to them a laptop with some basic af css file --->#codergirl ....fuck off.

Or the trillions of code pictures that are only html or some js framework flavor of the week.

Its just retarded man.

Okay, we all ranters love pizza, right?

TIL something that we should ALL keep in mind while buying pizza.

One 18 inch pizza has more pizza than two 12 inch pizzas.

if ((3.142*9*9) > (2*3.142*6*6)) {
return buyPizza(18inch, 1);
} else {
/* stop being an imbecile. This is dead code */
}

Although I love developing I always thought that there was something missing.
I learned Java but didn't really like it. I had spent quite some time with web development and enjoyed it but I felt like developing with JavaScript was too high level and I felt the same for Python.

So I started learning the most awesome programming language: C

I just love that I have so much control over everything and that the language is so compact and gives you just the right amount of tools you need.

I also love physics and electronics a lot and it feels awesome to first build something and then program it.

I am looking forward to design a PCB (printed circuit board) and write code for an AVR microcontroller like the Atmega328 (most arduinos use this one).

Picture of the project I am working on.

When my programmer boyfriend talks about his code, all I say is "That's so cool, babe," because I have no idea what he's even talking about.

He could be telling me he blew up a server.

"That's so cool, babe."

(I love you, though, darling x)

This is where everything started. I got the chance to work with actual production code. While it is very fun to work with, in some places it's also very frustrating. And this is from where, most of my rants come from.

Thank you @dfox and @trogus for making such a beautiful community.

The best part of this community is I never have to think or take time to make jokes or posts so that I can get upvotes. I've always wanted likes or retweets or reddit upvotes. But it never worked out because I have to think so much to make clever comments or posts. Most of the time, I gave up.

But in devRant, all I do is just share what's happening in my daily dev life. My frustrations, my happiness. That's all it takes. Everyone understands, everyone cares and everyone loves.

Over time, thanks to devRant, I've understood that I was part of the wrong community. This is the community that I deserve, this is the community that every dev deserves.

Thank you all. I love you. And I promise, more rants are coming :D

Especial thanks to @Yeah69 @kevbost @yarwest @tisaconundrum @Linux @donkeyScript . I have no idea why you guys all of a sudden rapidly upvoted me. Although I would love to reach 10k naturally but won't complain haha

Well I convert Shawarma into code.
Shawarma is Love.

!rant, a success story.

I made a tool for a live streamer I like, for free. Something to find highlights in a VOD based on the chatlog.

It took me around 15h to make. It is a very simple electron app, the "valuable" code is ~70 lines.
I wasn't sure he would even bother to try it.

Anyways, I send it to him. 10 minutes later, the guy tells me that "this is amazing! You just saved me hours of derushing my streams ❤️"

That's great already, but it does not end there. A few minutes later he asks me "I know other streamers that would love it, can I share? And can I add you in our private discord?"

I have now a direct access to some of the best youtubers/streamers in my country 🤩.

Her: I'm already in lingerie, how do I turn you on?

Me: Do you know how to make UML diagrams?

Visual Studio Code is the reason that minimized hatred for Microsoft in my Heart <3

VSCode is love!

Looks like nature is in love with my code.

sometimes when switching back to python from c++ i realize how python is pretty much pseudo code that went too far

disclaimer to prevent rant responses: i love python and have nothing against it

Working on the notes service and I'm still at the signup/login/password reset part.

Spending hours on thinking the process through, trying to think of any possible weaknesses in the system and writing patches right away.
I find it funny how thinking through every step (code-wise and user-wise) gives a very broad overview of how secure/insecure this thing is.

I fucking love doing this.

Oh you'll love this. A master password to access any user.

Something like:
const masterpassword = <dayABCyearXYZ>
if (password == dbpassword || password == masterpassword) { // allow access }

The best part is this code is available to our clients. They can literally see how this "master password" is generated. And they don't want me to remove it because it's being used by testers.

It's not much, but this is where I code and I love it! Better cluttered than empty...

I just installed VSCode for the first time yesterday; running on a MacBook. I spent the early hours of the day working on my C++ project on there. Moving to the workspace was really, really easy; I haven’t had the best of experience with Visual Studio.

VSCode is so clean and light. I love the extensions they have for different languages; I’ve only tried the C/C++ one at the moment. I also love the fact that you can create json preference files for shell/process tasks and also for launching different kinds of debug sessions.

It has a fully functional, built-in terminal. And at this moment, I’m looking to fork the code from GitHub to try and see if I can add something that’s been bugging me since yesterday.

One of the many nice things I’ve gotten from devRant since I joined. Thanks folks.

!rant
I just started to use Fira Code as my main font because another awesome user recommended it and I must say, this shit is beautiful. This is what I love about this community. I learn more and get to know more cool shit because of what users say in here than the 5 years I spent at uni. You ninjas rock!

My wife is neither a programmer nor she understands code but I love her more when she puts snacks in my mouth herself because my hands are too busy on the keyboard.

My teachers rant: "Who invented whiteboard markers? *trying to write some code on the board, but the marker went dry* What every happened to black boards and chalk. Chalk never gets dry.... I going to have to look that up" LOL, man I love him. He is so old that its funny and cute at the same time

why i like c#?
1- easiest way to build a program with good GUI. just put some XAML code and it's done.
2- I love syntax of c#. it has types. god I hate php XD
3- C# is also fast and strong.
4- don't forget the .net framework that has almost every thing I need.
3- A god like IDE, the Visual Studio.

Don’t you love when you put a lot of blood, sweat, and tears into a company and then you get fired because your wife got a flat tire and you had to go help fix it?

When I got to this company they were not using version control, had no tooling in place, and most of our day was spent merging projects by hand and going through a long process to deploy our applications (this company is a primarily Salesforce company).

I got everyone using git and built a node client to transpile JavaScript and SASS, lint code, package everything together, and deploy it to Salesforce. Productivity jumped and the amount of time all of us spent merging code by hand dropped significantly.

A few weeks after finishing this CLI I was moved to another team and subsequently let go because I had to leave early to help my wife fix a flat tire. Now I am freelancing and actually doing pretty damn well for myself. Bonus: I no longer have to work with the disaster that is Salesforce!

As devs we like to complain about our jobs. But I just want to take a moment and acknowledge how truly amazing writing software is. Nothing else has given me so much joy and happiness. The endless stream of new things to learn, the elusive art of clean code, and deep understanding of systems required for architecture. There is so much depth to this career we have all chosen and I hope you guys love it just as much as I do.

Found a post by G.R. on Linkedln:
"A lazy programmer is also often a good programmer:

- Writes little code to achieve the goal
- Automates all boring jobs
- He does not develop things he does not know yet
- Sleeps at night, then make sure that if the shutdown occurs, the system will restart
- He knows he forgets things, then writes readable and not cryptic code
- Try to reuse what he did
- He does not like copy-paste (too boring to keep)

It takes training to be lazy"

Love this quote

Met a Project Manager (at a friend's party) who had transitioned to a PM role from a developer role (most probably he wrote shitty code)

Smartass PM to me (after I told I code for living) : I really pity poor programmers and I feel sorry for them, the work they do, the effort they put in l, it's just now worth it

Me : yes you are right if we don't code PM are just not worth it, I understand it's a skill to talk about deadlines and features and what not, but the Pre-requisite is that some one would code it first. Also coding is not that anyone can do, I do it because I enjoy it, I m just not meant for superficial talks and I love building things, that's y I do it..

Smartass PM : (dumbstuck)

After half an hr of bullshit conversation...smartass PM has realized it by now that in Silicon Valley (where we live) it's much cooler to be a developer than being a PM (he has recently moved from east coast)...

PM to me : I just live on stack-overflow
Me thinking : Really !!

People should not compare their career paths, every one has their interest and personality

I love group projects.
There is no greater feeling than, after you set up the repository with the first code files, your team mate changes the indentation and commenting style in every file to his own style without even discussing the general coding style rules in the group first.

Fucking awesome start.

Go eat a sack of unwashed hobo balls you filthy cunt.

When your boss asks you and the senior dev, “how do we get the overseas contractors to stop writing lazy code and feel like they’re part of the team?” And you both respond with “we don’t, they won’t stop and don’t care. This is just a contract. Stop expecting them to love the project”. And then the boss agrees that he gets what he pays for.

...and then promptly says, “but HOW do we change their attitude about this?”

The senior told me he keeps a resignation letter in his drafts folder. He sometimes opens it and updates it with the latest gripes. He’s over 70 years old. The approach of DGAF is ever closer for him.

#include <rant>

So, in my class I have this one dude who also code, "Awesome" I thought when I first saw that he codes, he codes in c# and claims to know JavaScript.

So I hung out with him a bit on recess/break time, and I eventually found out that he is a d*ckhead

First of all, he claims that he can code ANYTHING, I mean triple A games, the machine that can find pi in 10 seconds. And I know that this isn't true, because he "can't bother" with showing me it.. whatever I think.

I also mentioned that he is a d*ck, why am i saying that? Because if you make an error he would just go, "there is supposed to be *insert random bullshit here* instead of *a typo that I made*, retard. You are honestly fucking stupid" Listen, I love when people point errors out, it really helps. But when you say it like that, it honestly makes me sad. One day, I was messing around with classes in python and he went "hey idiot! That's wrong! There is supposed to be a *random word* instead of *working code*". The funny thing is, HE DOESNT KNOW WHAT PYTHON IS. So I comment out the working code and puts in his c# bs there instead. And he just says, "it isn't working because there's a private class instead of a public class. Ehmm, excuse me? This is python, ok.

Oh and he told me I was a retard because I can't develop triple a games using pure JavaScript.

Any tips on dealing with the guy?

The best part about solving problems in code is there is no one right answer.

Except for this. This is clearly the wrong way. This is garbage and you are a garbage person for writing it. This code you wrote is the reason your own children will never love you.

Now don't get me wrong, I love the multicultural aspect of open source coding.

But for the love of everything that that is sane, please do not write the basic readme and code in English, and then write the entire documentation for the code in another language.

(Yay first rant)

My Love I am writing to you from the front lines roughly 1 month into Microsoft Access. I hope you are doing alright and no harm has found you.

You might have heard the news that it has not been going well for us. The truth is we were not prepared in any way for this. We are constantly facing problems with the code and when we understand one function another two are referenced inside of that function.

The high command does not provide us guidance, truth be told I do not think they know what their application is doing. I am surprised we got this far. Our new objective is to focus our primary forces on the if/else and cases. The name for this assault is "Operation Logical Function" and I fear for my life as I do not know what is in those cases or where the road will lead.

Morale is very low, many of the soldiers spend time writing letters to their loved ones, recreating their blog for the 5th time or just daydreaming when they were free from this tyranny of legacy war.

For now , I long to be in your arms and smell your lilac and gooseberries cologne I love so much

My love and thoughts always with you , your John

Systemd, I fucking love you. When a service crashes, let's just keep it turned off, don't restart it on your own, no need for that. That's what statefulness means, right Poettering? Such an amazing init, well worth the quarter GB of code or however much it is now. And yes I know that the unit files can be edited to achieve that. But seriously, should I really have to do that for each individual service on each individual box, because systemd can't do it on its own?

That feeling when an init system is (relatively) decent at doing everything else it absorbed into itself, yet fucking sucks at being.. a goddamn init. Good game Poettering. Such an amazing init system you wrote there. God fucking dammit man.. how hard can it be? There's OpenRC and BSD's /etc/rc.conf which are literally mere kilobytes of scripts and they do both statefulness and parallelization (in case of OpenRC anyway) *excellently*. Yet systemd can't even do that much? Awesome. Great init. I love it.

Come fucking on man...

That moment when the you actually think that this huge refactoring isn't worth it, but you do it anyway so you can live with yourself...
Code quality is love. Code quality is life.

If I have a bug in my Java program, please don't tell me "Use Python. It has a library for that, you can do it in 2 lines".

Motherfucker, I'm not asking for a solution in Python, nor am I asking you to pick my language for me. The rest of the project is in JVM languages, and I'm not gonna rewrite the whole damn thing so i can use your precious little script-kiddie language

If I show you Java code, I don't want Python. I never want Python. FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS FLUFFY, STOP TRYING TO FORCE-FEED ME PYTHON

Interviewer: "Ok we are searching for a fucking god of the code, if you have a week for work on a new project you must end within 3 days and work on other stuff! And for contract maybe a stage can be a good solution, we can't pay very much, but you must work like a machine and you'll love it cause here we have lots of project!"
Me: "I'm not interested."
Interviewer: "W..what?? Why?? Is there something wrong??"

Everytime a cunt like this ask to a developer to work for him, somewhere in the world a browser crashes

I just love refactoring :) that feeling when an agonic 50loc method with ifs, loops, streams, other shit shrinks down to 3 lines with descriptive and SRP-compliant method calls.. When you can actually read code as a nicely written story. When there are no rubbish comments, cryptic variables and no overly complex if-else skyscrapers jamming all the logic in one conditional chain. When all the abstractions are designed so nicely and design patterns applied so perfectly that extending either of the components is as easy as a walk in a park.

When everything is nice and neat. Only then can I sleep well and enjoy the autumn :)

just some random thoughts after today's coding session :)

I fucking love noise cancelling headphone. Not just to block the noise but also to dive elbows deep into focus mode with code.

That is until your partner sneeks up to you on the side you don’t see.

I’m not kidding i just had a fucking heart attack guys!

!rant

I used to be someone who disliked microsoft and windows, but with the new CEO Satya Nadella things are going in the right direction. Really love the stuff microsoft is doing right now! bash for windows, 24 bit color console, visual studio code and the monaco editor, dotnet core ... lately I have switched to windows 10 from OSX and I couldn't be happier :)

Upon a certain angry Germans recommendation I started getting into flutter.

Best fucking decission ever. Shit is simple and makes sense.

I ain't tagging him cuz he don't like being tagged.

But thanks man!! You know who you are!

The code makes sense, the widget tree hierarchy makes sense, knowing the native counterpart helps whenever the flutter portion ain't doing it(has not happened yet) and dart is really a good language.

The tooling is fucking genius, funny enough the emulators open quicker with vs code than android studio or xcode(fuck those two btw, 2 fucking years of hate towards them ain't going away) and building designs programatically make waaay more sense.

Flutter gave me back my hope for mobile development. This is google knowing that they fucked up Android development and fixing it and schooling IOS development for taking a good set of languages(obj c and swift) nd fucking them up with their shit way of development.

I am in love.

God, I love when people name stuff right. Now I'm reading through an open source project, trying to find out how they solved a critical issue I'm facing now. It's not a small one but navigating through it is a breeze. Look through variable/function names and I don't even really need to read the code. Meanwhile, last assignment, there was "yangDataHandler" and "yangDataManager" that, obviously, had nothing to do with each other in either interoperability or functionality - and then half of the variables would get aliased to abbreviations. Uh, yes, sure it's obvious what
𝚋𝚣𝚋𝚠𝚒 variable means. Just let me run it through 𝚒𝚍𝚣𝚍() function.

I have this great professor who taught us how to be logical human beings (not that I learned much of that haha). He introduced us to web dev. He started with the basic html shit, then proceed with php and sql. His lectures were awesome. He'll then proceed with code exercises. And we'll have mini 'codefights' in his classes! yey! He taught us that in programming, it is much more important to practice logic than master a single language(no hate please). I learned to love programming through his passion. :) I learned to program in his class, now I hope never to stop learning. :D

There was a girl that I fell in love with.
As I went on a journey
We were separated by oceans
In order for me to reach her
I studied networking and programming
She is the reason
why I code

I think I'm falling in love. With TDD.

I used to be very skeptic about it. You know, the usual reasons: it takes longer to deliver, constant "flow" interruptions, etc, etc. But ever since I've tried it I'm nothing but happy about my choice :)

I'm moving forward, I'm not making any regressions, I'm no longer afraid to make any changes in my code as I know tests will show what exactly I break,.. And most importanty, I have all use-cases with corner-cases defined and "explained" in the code... No more do I have to search in Confluence for how this exact scenario should behave. Everything is here. Everything's in the tests.

It's amazing!

Yeah, it DOES take longer to deliver so if you're hardcore Agile living by "Ship it as soon as it compiles" TDD might be too slow. But if you prefer knowing when your code is covering all the use cases w/o any errors -- TDD is the way.

Holy fucking cockgoblin!

If you interview for a senior position, please, for the sanity of your interviewer (me), make sure you know how to declare variables and how to iterate over an array in the language which the shitgoblin (you) "love and use all the time".

Of course the interviewer (me) is gonna be polite and let the shitgoblin (you) code out your 50-line solution for a 3-line problem, but after 2 hours watching the shitgoblin contemplate solutions that anyone who ever opened a fucking beginners tutorial by accident could answer, the interviewer might prefer to have been on a Justin Bieber concert or have sucked huge sweaty ballsacks for those two hours.

I know that interviews can be hard and stressful - I've been there, am there, and at some point will be there again - but please, for the love of nonexistent gods, don't be a time-wasting shitnugget but prepare yourself!

"Hmm, I have a meeting with a few of the executives today to go over that new feature... I'd better wear my good t-shirt and jeans today."

I love working at a place where there is no dress code for devs!

Reasons 1 and 2 arent that important to me. The main reason I code is #3.

1) Brain exercise. I always feel sharp after a coding session, even if it ended in disaster.
2) Lots to do! There's never a full day in code. Make your own universe, if you so desire.
3) Pride. I have a pride problem. I never felt proud of myself no matter what I do. I graduated with a melancholy feeling, same deal when getting my license, same deal when passing a test (God, glad that's over!)... But code makes me proud. I love what I make. I want to show everyone. I want to show it to everyone before it's even finished because I just can't wait. I want everyone to use it and to love it. Because I sure do, and it's the best thing ever.

I could make a viral video, produce a triple platinum record, or build a billion dollar business and still not feel the same level of genuine satisfaction and happiness that I may get from writing good code.

It always keeps me coming back.

I moved to US a month ago and now I work as a steward in a hotel but I hate this job so fucking much. The fact that I know how to code and work in this shitty job feels like I lose chromosomes every second I work there. I just really wish I could work on what I love and code a lot. When I'm at work I listen to programming podcasts (I listen to this app podcasts too) and just think about the internship I'm doing. Code is always running in my head and it all feels like I waste my time even doe I need it for now until I can have enough money to move to another state. I hope this situation changes for the better.

This girl I don't even know much sent me this code. She is not a coder and has never written any code before by the way.

if(true)
{
temp=abhinav;
abhinav= v bad;
v bad= temp;
}

Is this what a modern day love note look like? 🤔🤔

Hololens development forced me into Visual Studio after spending years doing Unity development with MonoDevelop in MacOS.

Why haven't anyone told me to switch sooner! Thanks to Visual Studio + ReSharper, my brain farts turn into a coherent code almost automatically.

I hate that I need MacOS for the iOS development and Win 10 for Hololens. Running Win 10 on Parallels kinda works, but it is a compromise. Developing without headphones/earplugs is out of the question if you don't want to go deaf.

I wan't all the tools for a single OS so I don't have to maintain multiple computers and even more importantly travel with multiple laptops. Just love the security check question "Do you have any electronics with you? Please put it into the container." - "Could I get a couple more containers, please..."

It's been 6y since i created a devrant account, and went from a college kid to a dev lead, so much changed and i use my old posts as a window to the young me.

I am working my dream job, yet it feels like a nightmare.
The young me would give an arm and a leg for this position, and here i am feeling like this is worthless.

If any of you guys experienced something like this, would love to hear what it took to go back to feeling excited to code.

Anybody's a father here? My 10 months kid is giving me hard times waking at 2am and not going to sleep till 4am (it is 4 now, here). That's a really repeating problem. I'm loosing my focus at work, tired after few hours of coding, couldnt mange to learn after hours. Makes me frustrated. My PM understands situation (actually he have 5 kids!), tries to help. But can't figure it out how to overcome this. Any ideas fellow dads in code? To make it clear - I really love my son, but if I'll fail to keep my level at job I could loose it one day, don't feel like beeing able to find new decent job with current exhaust level. Also I'm the only one who makes money in our lil family, loosing job for too long means loosing the roof under the head for all three of us. My wife is barely living after beeing there for son whole day, so please dont point at her. Our kid is really demanding on attention and love, and thats like a sweet poison. Love kills.

I love static sites and fancy new frameworks. Had an interview some time ago at a medium sized company. They specifically wanted someone to build static sites and introduce the company to Vue and Gridsome.
I got really excited for my first project. It was a wordpress site and I had to build a custom WP theme for it. Not exactly what I expected. Also I had no prior PHP knowledge, nor any experience with Wordpress. So I got really upset, because it wasn’t the technologies I was used to.
The first week was hard, I wanted to quit. But once something clicked. And I realized I know this. This is not PHP, not Wordpress, not Vue, but just simply a programming language. At the core everything programming language is the same. PHP became comfortable, Wordpress conventions didn’t bother me. I realized I can use great technologies with WP too. I get to know twig, added some sass, compiled everything nicely with webpack. And after a month I have a beautiful, fast and efficent site. I love it.
I realised that I don’t love the languages and frameworks. I love coding itself. I love creating efficent and reliable, clean code. No matter the architecture.
And my advice for you is to stop hating particular languages and serious debates on what is better, and hating your job when you can’t code in your new shiny framework. Love coding itself, because it’s a wonderful activity. We are creators, we are artists. Not <insert specific programming language here> developers.

Lets create a library.

Lets use that library in a project.

Lets wrap the library call in a wrapper functione to remove duplicate code.

Lets add an overloaded wrapper call that wraps the wrapper call that calls the library to partially undo the duplicate code removal.

Lets add another overloaded wrapper call that wraps the wrapper call that wraps the wrapper call that calls the library to partially undo the duplicate code removal.

How I love it. Not.

Sometimes redundancy makes sense, especially when it are two lines which make it obvious whats going on vs a single line that leads to a fuckton of overloaded wrapper functions.

Sheeesh.

Today in "code monkeys deserve divine punishment".

Another funny thing is creating a Helper class for Junit 5 tests, making it instantiable and adding to it all kinds of shit like testcontainer creation, applications instantiation, mocks, ....

... Then " crying " why the tests are so slow.

Yeah. Logic. Isolation of concerns, each test should be a stand alone complex.

But that would lead to redundancy... Oh no.

Better to create a global state god object.

Some devs... Really amaze me, especially when they argument in ways that makes one really wonder whether they are serious or just brain dead.

TIL: C# has a "Catch When" syntax to help you filter exceptions. It already allows you to filter by Exception type, but this is news to me since it allows for finer filtering like:

try
{
//Shit code that will throw an exceptions more than Hillary's tantrums about the elections
}
catch (ExceptionType ex) when (ex.ErrorCode = "0x696666")
{
//Log this fuck up
}
catch (Exception ex)
{
//More logs
}
finally
{
//Run code that doesn't depend on the successful execution of prev code
}

I love C# and use it every single day, but this "When" keyword in Try...Catch...Finally blocks is new to me and will be interesting to start using it now :)

So being a sole developer at the company, full stack, you know, basically 24/7 job because you are the only one that knows what's going on.

I love my job but now that I'm not working with a team I miss code reviews and bouncing ideas off.

So, is there like a community or something where a sole developer can get this? Maybe more privately than SO or reddit or whatever

I love to code, it scratches my creative itch

And i love to work, it drowns my productivity anxiety

But I dread every morning when i wake up to work on my current employer's project

It's that kind of combo of code base spaghetti and all over the place project management that sinks my galleys

Woe is me...

The GitHub graphql API is pretty neat, mostly because it's a great example of a product where graphql has advantages over REST. As a code reviewer for repos with hundreds of simultaneous PRs, I use it to filter through branches for stuff that needs my attention the most.

NewRelic's NRQL API is also quite nice, as it provides an unusual but very direct interface into the underlying application metrics.

I'm also a big fan of launchlibrary, purely because I love spaceflight, and their API is an extremely rich and actively maintained resource. This makes it a great data source for playing around with plotting & statistics libraries — when I'm learning new languages or tools, I prefer to make something "real" rather than following a tutorial, and I often use launchlibrary as a fun and useful data backend.

After seeing this "old" picture I want to let know at the guyz who are in love with AMD that before Ryzen(s) I was able to cook my fuckin' breakfast's eggs on their fuckin' CPUs.

Big mistakes brings to great solutions and shut up the fuck up AMD, probably your core code is full of vulnerabilities but no one cares about your ultra threads architecture.

I sincerely like the moment, when i train a newbie to code .NET showing him/her how far OOP in .NET goes.

I love to give the following example:
var s = "round and round it goes";
s = s.ToString().ToString().ToString().ToString().ToString().ToString().ToString().ToString().ToString().ToString().ToString().ToString().ToString().ToString().ToString().ToString().ToString().ToString().ToString().ToString().ToString().ToString().ToString().ToString().ToString().ToString().ToString().ToString().ToString().ToString().ToString().ToString().ToString().ToString().ToString();

And yeah. It's totally fine.
Because each component of .NET is inherited of object. And the class object supports you with the function "ToString()".

After that, in most of the cases, i get a slightly irritated look from the newbie.
Than i say, "welcome to Microsoft" ;)
I finally add, that the compiler of .NET finally identifies duplicate results and refactores the given code before execution ^^

Coding Is fun, as long as you get the big picture/concept of the language you're using.

Applied to a Jr. Dev job and was hired as a Digital Marketer — I can deal with this, I’m AdWords & Analytics certified. What I can’t abide is that I spent the last year working my ass off learning to code and the person next to me with the Jr. Dev position only uses DIVI and has zero inclination to study, learn or write basic HTML & CSS—much less PHP. I’m not an expert by any means but I love programming, I love the problem solving, the challenges and the culture of it all. So far, and these are only two examples, I’ve shown him how to use the target attribute to open a page as a new tab, and how to register a nav in the functions.php file to create a menu but he is unwilling to even attempt it. Rather, he told me that I was too technical and that no one would be using code in this day and age.

For the record, I think DIVI is a cool platform, it’s clear that my boss knows nothing about code to be fair and I love my job— this is my only issue so far😂 I just needed to rant.

So... I've got a confession to make.
I'm no longer a Dev. After the disaster that was my last commercial gig, I went and got a sec Ops role... And I love it. It's just technical problem solving and explaining all the way.
Don't get me wrong, I still love to code. But that's exactly the thing. As a commercial developer employed by corporations, I spent close to 80 % of my time not coding, but in useless meetings, or trying to figure out just what my colleagues thought was "common sense", reverse engineering their work and documenting how to get it running, etc. Basically, fixing shit for braindead academics with next to no real world experience.
Now, when I code, I get to do it on my own terms, with my own stack and as much comments and docs as I want to have. I own my time, and the only ones that are allowed to interrupt me is the local fire department.
I can do what I'm fucking passionate about and leave the rest for the useless people.

I love reviewing code. I learned a better way to write something. That feeling of "hum, that's a lot better than what I have been doing" is great.

I love Test-Driven Development!

And because of that fact, my heart shatters into thousands of pieces, when I recognize error events on our production nodes which are pointing onto a golden hammer function in a legacy project.

This particular function has about 300 lines with a bunch of subfunction calls and instantiations of helper-classes returning information for workflow.

Refactoring this code to apply proper unit-tests requires a way bigger investment than simply deal with 30 eventlogs a day, because this kind of payment is barely used by customers of our webshop.

This fact is a little itch each day of my work.

Guess it will make me go insane one day
¯\_(ツ)_/¯

xD

You've got to be a masochist to be a javascript/typescript developer.

Each time I come back to the npm-related parts of my project, the application won't start because of some dependencies nonsense. And I know for sure I left the project working perfectly last time.

Every time... every fucking time! Just leave the project unattended for a week and be sure you'll find it dead next time.

I mean I as a developer don't really have to do ANYTHING for my code to break.

How can people love javascript is a mystery to me.

I’m new to programming. I first learned G-Code and M-Code for CNC machines and being a machinist got boring, so now I’m in School for computer science. But I swear, the amount of motherfuckers that act like they are the programming gods and they know everything there is to know just because they’ve been a programmer for so and so amount of years just grinds my gears. They act like some knowledge is important while other knowledge is useless, and generalize it and push that belief on everyone. But fail to realize that some people, such as myself, just love computers in every facet. I don’t give a damn how many years of programming experience you have and how many people you’ve taught. If you act like a stuck up know it all and walk around like your shit don’t stink, I wouldn’t work with you even if I had the same amount of experience as you.

Feeling sick as fuck. Stayed home instead of going to work but I am already upstet about what is happening whilst I am not there.

The manager was gracious enough to task the other developers with creating the templates for one of our projects. I submitted a document before stating our design guidelines and how under no circumstances they should not use bootstrap for the design since none of them know how to manipulate the source code enough to deviate from the standard bootstrap design. The lead developer, even tho I love the dude, has an attitude against new tech. He is primarily and only a php developer still in love with just jquery and php with no real knowledge of proper design methods. He is the kind of dude that would tell you that pdo is a waste of time and that why should we create models and use oop to separate our code into manageable files.
Today I get "why should we not use bootstrap" and shit like that.

Sigh.....i really don't want to see the shitstorm waiting for me tomorrow.

Funny how our cms administrator is eager to learn the list of technologies i proposed. They both gor Programming Ruby, the pickaxe holy book of Ruby and the dude is already halfway through it while the other developer is still asking why should we even bother when we have php.

I get the idea of if it ain't broken don't fix it and being proficient with one stack and whatnot. But that idea of i dont want to learn something new is precisely what shuts down progress.

!rant
The more I learn about advanced C++ the more I love this language. C++'s template system is so insanely cool!
Just made a proof of concept expression templates based linear algebra library for my own projects. It was actually a lot of fun to make, and seeing it spit out optimized, loop-fused code with no temporary variables...magic.
Long live C++.

Ask yourself a couple of simple questions:
Do you like to code?
Do you like to learn new things and improve?
Do you like to solve problems and spend hours on a single detail until it finally works?

If your answers contain a "no", then development is probably not for you. You will hate it and you will suck at it. And you will make lifes of devs who actually love it miserable. So do something else.

Modern HR is great. I love the fact that my future as a developer depends on how effectively I can talk over someone and create solutions to shitey ice breaker games.

Fuck off. Code test me, cunt.

First things first:
HI devRant. This is my first post, I've been a observer for the most by now but I'm so glad I found this network (by searching for other people who hate ionic, angular, react)

Question:
What is it about Linux, that any developer seems to love?
I'm a IT student in Germany and I grew up with windows. I know what it's doing, I'm working quite fast on it and it just runs well.
But inehrn I look around at the university the guys who really know what they're doing with their code are using Linux only. There's not even one of them who would consider windows.
I couldn't really find a satisfying answer for that.

Context:
Me, Front-end Developer, Javascript stuff
---

Junior Dev: Hey xxzer0, could you help me with this? I spent the entire day on it and at this point, I think I just broke Chrome.

xxzer0: *---* Okay, let me see.

Junior Dev: Do you see it? I am updating the Javascript code but it's not working at all. The browser is not even loading it... Literally, the code I just wrote is not there.

**
Now be me, be the fucking idiot I was and I have been my whole life, I already knew what was going on because I lost a fucking day on it as this guy.
**

xxzer0: Well, let me see just one thing...

'Open Chrome Dev Tools' -> 'Network' -> 'Disable Cache'.

xxzer0: Now try again...

Junior Dev: What are you..doi........ IT'S WORKING! O.O

Chrome, I love you but sometimes I wish you could make this more "accessible" to newcomers.

I just... don't have the motivation to code. This thing that once gave me chills and joy for hours now feels tedious.

I still love programming. My depression is starting to win, that's all. Tearing up trying to write this.

Oh and yeah, my coworker just knocked out the entire staging Oracle database, so there's that.

OK, I love Linux. But I hate the whole "sacrifice-functionality-so-it-can-be-completely-free-and-open-source" thing.

I tried to install Linux a while back on my old laptop, and getting Wi-Fi to work was a nightmare. Apparently they didn't have the right driver for my Wi-Fi card, because it wasn't "free" enough for them. ugh. Most people prefer for their computer to WORK than for every single piece of code to be open source. Who modifies their Wi-Fi driver and redistributes it?

Ugh. Linux is cool, but not this part.

Is the general public getting stupider or am i getting smarter?? I love my cousin to bits but every time he speaks, i lose brain cells. I didn’t always think he was this dumb. I find a-lot of people are too dumb to interact with lately so i stay in my house, alone, typing code and laughing at Netflix. Am i the problem?

Code at the beach #codelyfe

Gotta love kotlin!

@osiris1337 the refactoring is going great
I had a 80 lines long model class with all the getters and setters and Parcelable interface implemented
and all of that converted to kotlin like this

@-psr another reason, small and readable code ^_^

Time I made a friend... oh due to code?
Well yea let’s solve the first part of this first 😢

Actually I met my significant other putting my self through tafe (you aussies will know) nearly 10 years ago so I guess that counts 😎

Is it only me or does Unity really force people to write ugly code?
Sometimes I think to my self : " just go and write your god damn own fuckin engine"

But then I sit back and realize that I'd never finish a game that way.

Love & Hate Unity !

“Someone is eventually going to build a JavaScript compiler that output machine code, which will lead to an apocalypse and the death of everything you know and love when all JS code mysteriously stops working in the year 2048.

You need to stop that person from being born. I'm forwarding the details now.

Good luck,
-- Future you”

Some days I get bored with programming and I think I have no talent and I wish I had a different job. But someday I love programming and I want to code all day.
Is it normal? Do you have these mix feelings?

LOL that's why I love C!

The function pointer cast for strcmp because qsort expects a compare function with two const void * pointers instead of two const char * pointers, that's just beautiful.

Not to mention the hack to abuse strcmp on a struct - which just works because the first struct member is a string and the rest just gets swapped with memcpy as opaque data.

I guess that wouldn't pass a code review at work. :-)

The posts about love coding interviews and low paid freelancing work just reminds me how little anyone know about process of using code to solve real problems.

If someone wanted to give me a JavaScript test then I'd point them at Fivver where there are tonnes of JS devs available for minimum wage.

No one is paying me for my ability to write code. They are paying me to solves problems that businesses have that are likely to involve software.

I have just done my manicures yesterday evening. And, it's so nice to look at when you have your nails done from my point of view, especially when coding. So much view and can really boost self esteem, lets you smile, and motivated to work though I don't usually love Mondays because yeah, another manic Monday.

I just so love my manicures today, despite the allergies that I still have, the enhancement code that has not yet been deployed by our ever loving, supreme, Grandmaster turd, let's just name him, John Doe.

P.S. please not be easily removed manicures. For you are the only source of my happiness and my motivation to go to work (because bills is too mainstream and will always be the classy reason also)

Top three reasons why I love to code:

1) People will think you are a wizard and feel so afraid of you that they call you nerd and give you a office in a cold basement (especially good in summer times)

2) Your friends call you for every problem they have with their computer and will give you a few bucks or beers in exchange.

3) You can rant about technical stuff and no matter how unfounded the rant is, your non-tech friends will believe everything you say.

Kotlin support on Android:
i never liked Java, not because of the language but for the usual bad design implementations and Android is one of those.
Then Kotlin arrived, it looked very promising but it's when i looked at Coroutines that it simply blew my mind:
you just have to write your code and the Kotlin's compliler "magic" will do most of the boring/complex stuff for you and it's even great performance wise!
I even refactored inter-process calls to simple sync functions with few like of code and for a non-android developer like me it's just love at first sight!

Lets play a game of spot the bug...

Too easy you say?
What if I told you that this code was written by a well paid dev over an exceptionally large period of time?

Crazy huh, but that's still nothing. The most ludicrous thing about it - is that you (like me) probably suffer from a mild case of impostor syndrome.

I just ended that suffering. The only thing worse than impostor syndrome is believing you actually know what the fuck your doing. Keep it in check but learn to love it... it's probably the reason you could spot the bug after all.

I've been using devRantron recently to try it out. It's hard enough to be productive when I just get notifications on my phone, but getting desktop notifications that pop up over my code... how can I not immediately go look who commented on what??

So thanks guys, the app is great, but I have a love/hate relationship with the desktop notifs due to my lack of self-control.

My biggest distraction at coding are my parents.

I still live in there house and it's really comfy.

But whenever I code the always come into my room with something random like "my phone is not working" or "how can I delete this?"

I love my parents and Im glad that I can help but always get off where I was after 😂

I fucking love it!
After a full day of refactoring old shitty code into a glamorously sparkling epicness of bytes, the whole thing worked flawlessly and on speed.
Quite satisfactory. 😊

Templating in TWIG, especially using inheritance and includes, is so much more fun than doing it in raw PHP!
*cough*Fuck WordPress*cough"

I don't know if we can be friend...

I don't like cable art, my desk is messy(no setup), no stickers on my mac, don't care I have to use mac or pc or unix, I don't code at night.....anymore, I don't have problem with ;

But....I love coffee.

Refactoring! Refactoring! REFACTORING!

This is one of “those desk books” that you gotta have imo. Personally I love giving names to categories of things, helps us better recognize patterns if we can classify them.

Software can always be improved, this book give you a good majority of the most common refactorings it’s like a recipe book almost.. shows you the code smell... give you the detailed recipes to fix it. Great to have in code reviews.

Doesn’t matter that this book is in JavaScript the concepts and ideas are the big pictures in this book.

Classic “one of those” books.

I don't need you to reiterate what the problem is. I am aware. I was the one who told you what the problem is. Via email and Slack. Why do you keep restating it to me like you are the one who figured out? I know the table isn't syncing with the third party object. I'm trying to figure out WHY. No amount of "I'm pretty sure the sync process is broken" will trigger a solution. Stop coming into my office every 5 minutes with a new "revelation" that wasn't even your own. This isn't my code, and since the owner of said code is not here to fix it, I have to spend some time figuring out how this damn thing works. SO PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, LET ME WORK SO I CAN FIX THIS

I love linters and all. They’re great for maintaining good practice. But sometimes they’re a little too aggressive, and when the rules are being imported from elsewhere, I am not sure how to temporarily disable them.

This is especially frustrating when the linter decides it will break your shit instantly, so I found it easier to just call a method and remove it when the functionality is built.

Right now there’s at least 4 “this.stopBitchingAbout([all, the, things])” in my code.

They say: Luck is when you have somebody you love next to you.

I say: Luck is when I run code and no errors pop up...

I love it when my boss says "review the code with this guy since he knows alot" and that guy wastes your time by just skimming my code and saying "where is the final product?". I don't get people sometimes. At least I impressed myself making a small chatbot.

I love arriving at work to see in a mail that a co-worker is literally saying "please test things before delivering it"

Like I did it, it worked, and most importantly, it's their part of the code that had a problem.

Fuck off, learn how to communicate without reproaching stuff you should have done before

My intern was trained on 1 semester of Java, followed by 2 of Python, so there’s been several conversations at the office that boil down to:

“What’s *not* to love about Python? It’s easy to pick up, and forgiving as hell!”

“What’s *to* love about Python? I like being able to understand how my code is structured!”

As a WordPress shop, the discussion is moot, of course...

I absolutely love being micro managed by my team mates and QA. I also love being blamed for the other developers shitty code that breaks other crap in the front-end for when my tickets get checked by QA it's my code that becomes the problem. The part I love the most, is when I get slack messages "quick call" and the same thing gets explained to me by 3 different people.

I love to code but I hate to configure.😡😡

OK I hate to configure when it takes several hours and when there is no real documentation.

I love when a PM makes a big deal to get their own office but then takes personal calls with the door open. On speaker phone. To his wife with 3 screaming kids in the background. While everyone is trying to work. Fml. Just let me code in peace.

PM in sprint review, after some colleagues complained about having to develop requirements on their own:
you are software engineers, your main task is to design software systems. this is the tricky part. coding is easy... it's a stupid task, i could do it, my nine year old daughter could do it.

shall i feel a bit offended? also i think, he is wrong... i also design while i'm coding, i'm designing all the time.
also, i love coding :( this is the most satisfying aspect of my job.
but then again, i heard there are people who code without designing... even though i cannot imagine how to work like that at all.

I love javascript, but sometimes it's just an incredibly stupid language, such as when undefined variables get interpreted as string literal "undefined" when concatenating strings. I like it better how, for example, PHP handles undefined values, that nulls just turn into "". Better still: typed languages, where most stupid mistakes are caught already at compilation, instead of having to spend hours to track down where that mysterious "undefined" comes from. As I said, I love javascript - because it is easy to code, flexible and forgiving in many ways. But I hate it for the exact same reason, for being such a sloppy fluffy...thing, and a bugger to debug. If javascript would be an animal, it would be a cute and cuddly cat that you instantly find adorable, but it's actually quite fat and lazy, plus its fur is littered with ticks and other bugs.

Nothing is more relaxing then finding some really bad code and clean it up in your free time with music in background. Love this kind of Friday's.

**Day 2 of glaring at the code.😩 The bits are collapsing in front of my eyes into bytes and the glaring dark theme of sublime engraves the code into my retinas. Is it day or is it night? I can no longer tell. Having scoured every corner of the internet and applying every fix I can find the bug persists... was I ever destined to program? For the doubt eclipses my hope of ever seeing the light. I peer over the edge of the world into the abyss and the abyss... **

"Wait 🔎, shouldn't there be apostrophes' in here? MOTHERF-" 😡😠💥☠

**tests**

**works**

*glee* 😄

"God, I love programming!" 😃

I am seeing more and more of these political statements and politically correct bullshit on coders forums up to the point where i got to the conclusion the *phobic people are being harassed for sharing an opinion of their own and attacked most of the time.

Are the *philic people actually themselves *phobic, and thus attacking anything that might conform their uncertainties? Is that the case?

Because unless you act upon your opinions you are not guilty of anything. If another is offended by your opinion isnt that an oppression of the sort?

I fear this will one day become a standard in forums that *phobic people should be more attentive to their opinions and shit i mean we are coders if we see beautiful code who the fuck cares what the coder is or represents if ur code is good i fucking love you and thank you. Now on the other hand my opinion of what you represent or what you are offends you? Well fuck sounds like a personal issue!

Fucking twats!

Today's GDPR-Bullshittery.

So we are using an open source remote update system for updating our embedded devices.
And today we learned that, that system logs ip-adress'. And low and behold mr.GDPR says that is a no no.

So either we completely drops it, finds a new update system and implements it..
Sift through all the source code of the update system "fix" it and recompile it.
Or we setup a Man in the middle attack on ourselves. To mask the ip-adress'.

GDPR encouraging hacking ourselves I fucking love it!

Ah, developers, the unsung heroes of caffeine-fueled coding marathons and keyboard clacking symphonies! These mystical beings have a way of turning coffee and pizza into lines of code that somehow make the world go 'round.

Have you ever seen a developer in their natural habitat? They huddle in dimly lit rooms, surrounded by monitors glowing like magic crystals. Their battle cries of "It works on my machine!" echo through the corridors, as they summon the mighty powers of Stack Overflow and Google to conquer bugs and errors.

And let's talk about the coffee addiction – it's like they believe caffeine is the elixir of code immortality. The way they guard their mugs, you'd think it's the Holy Grail. In fact, a developer without coffee is like a computer without RAM – it just doesn't function properly.

But don't let their nerdy exteriors fool you. Deep down, they're dreamers. They dream of a world where every line of code is bug-free and every user is happy. A world where the boss understands what "just one more line of code" really means.

Speaking of bosses, developers have a unique ability to turn simple requests into complex projects. "Can you make a small tweak?" the boss asks innocently. And the developer replies, "Sure, it's just a minor change," while mentally calculating the time it'll take and the potential for scope creep.

Let's not forget their passion for acronyms. TLA (Three-Letter Acronym) is their second language. API, CSS, HTML, PHP, SQL... it's like they're playing a never-ending game of Scrabble with abbreviations.

And documentation? Well, that's their arch-nemesis. It's as if writing clear instructions is harder than debugging quantum mechanics. "The code is self-explanatory," they claim, leaving everyone else scratching their heads.

In the end, developers are a quirky bunch, but we love them for it. Their quirks and peculiarities are what make them the creative, brilliant minds that power our digital world. So here's to developers, the masters of logic and the wizards of the virtual realm!

My company's process basically boils down to this:
-Hour long meeting to open an issue.
-5 lines of comments.
-Update three documents.
-5 days for a peer review.
-40 bitchy comments about how everything you do and love is terrible.

For a one line code change to prevent a show stopping exception.

The job hunt is exhausting but trying to keep a positive mindset coz my prospects look good so far. Just cant wait to be done with the interviews (hopefully within the next two weeks) and get back to reading books and binging series when i am not working without the guilt of i should be studying and won’t forgive myself if I don’t pass due to laziness.
I also actually miss writing code and working on a team. Remote work made me realize I absolutely love being a software engineer, i just hated going to the office.
Pls send positive vibes for my upcoming interviews 🙏🏾

Tried flutter for the first time in life, for 2 days, java based Android dev here.
I have some.... thoughts...

Flutter does not feel extremely new to me. It is very much relatable if you have ever tried basic the spring/ other java based gui framework. It is trying to achieve the goods from multiple worlds,its so far good, but mann its playing on thin ice.

Flutter : Yo boy embrace me. I am the beauty. checkout my hot reload.
Me :❤️❤️😍 (But wait. your first execution is wayy longer than a simple android studio build. And AS would generally take smaller time after every rebuild. And you are going to take the same long time as first build, if app gets closed or my usb gets accidentally removed. So I see what you did there ;))

Flutter: Ha. Checkout my function passing as parameter. ever thought your puny java going to give you that?
Me :you got me ,❤️. (Although this style is not so uncommon with web devs)

Flutter: everything is a widget, everything is stateful or stateless, Single Streams FTW!
me: ❤️

Flutter:You kotlin devs are gonna love me, i got Small, concise code
Me: Now wait, This is a thin ice for me, okay? I hated when kotlin replaced everything with symbols & lamdas for a confusing but small code, So be careful,even though your code is still good.

Flutter : Control every pixel , dear! No more xmls!
Me : Yes, what is with that? are we accidentally going in the past?
Java desktop apps, spring framework used to build whole layouts with programming language. The day i stepped into Android, it was xml for ui and java/kotlin for code. was that a bad decision or is this one?
Anyways i liked my stuff seperated, but that's just me.

Flutter : Ugh so much whining. Are you going to work with me or not?
Me : Yes mam! ❤️

How comes that people can write such fucking shitty code?

Because I mean, why the hell would I want a progress indicator while the form is loading?

Actually, let's just not disable the form while it's loading. Let the user get mad when it's data's overwritten.

And best of all. Let's use inconsistent naming and fucking metadata tables so that we don't have any structure and make queries slow.

Yes. I fucking love incompetent consultants. Fucking love them. Good thing he never got hired...

My biggest personal challenge as a dev is learning and retaining, as well as keeping current, any particular language. I swear I really did build a career as an HTML/JS/CSS programmer. I have a resume that shows I did. But for some reason, lately, every time I open an editor I feel like I'm starting over from 22 years ago. Everything I do nowadays is copy/paste from StackOverflow, hiring another dev to help out, or cribbing code from past projects. I'd love to be able to just open Sublime and start coding like a badass like I imagine other coders do, but I just can't even get started. WTF is wrong with me?

90% of beginner questions are so damn annoying. I get it, some people are new and still learning but for the love of God, I just want to tell these kids to shut the fuck up, sit their ass down and WRITE SOME DAMN CODE, instead of bitching and moaning about what they best language is or how to magically read a tutorial and become a ninja in a day.

Fuck.

I'm really into coding now for half a year. I really love that kinda flow when there pop up no errors and you work yourself through the code writing using trial and error. It's really addicting and the perfect evening.
But here comes my question: There are sometimes unsolvable errors for me (still not figuring out how to use firebase properly 😞). Is this stuff going to be fewer as I advance in coding, or am I just terrible at googling? To other beginners: Do you have often errors to that feel unsolvable for you?

I'm curious..

When does programming suck for you, and when is it fun?

Like I hate programming, when I run into an obscure use case that opens up some serious errors with my some, or gasp, all, of my architecture and forces me to rethink everything - especially DB design, ugh.

I love programming when my architecture and DB design create naturally readable code and everything falls into place and I feel like a genius.

I guess, in short.... plan before you code?

And then, plan again.

But don't plan too much.

The love/hate of my programming life summed up right there I think.

How about you?

So there is a 50/50 chance I am getting flamed af tomorrow during code review because of my branching/merging actions on thursday and friday... Merge conflicts... We all love them...

This pic is from my class messenger group.
Translation:

Dear teacher! Our group have chosen another web builder for the project, we hope it's not a problem...

Yeah, I use templates which I can copy code from to my group's site, but for the love of *!#* life I consider myself a noob beginner even tough I've been in this field for a year or two now but I can code with more confidence now. What the hell are these people going to do if they only willing to rely on school and wix...

But I can always be wrong, these are just my thoughts.

Why, for the love of all that is good, does anyone still code for absolute placements in css?!

I've spent 90%+ of my time lately making some changes, which is about 20x harder than it needed to be because this app (written in the last 1-3 years) has all of the styling set explicitly. How does anyone justify that?

Got hooooot pink coloured pair of beats for my birthday!!! Best gift ever! Two most things I like is music and code this is the perfect gift! Pink is the only problem but fuck it. I love theseeeee!!!

For the love of sex, can someone help me out??!!

There is a VS Code extension that helps in creating a step-by-step tutorial of a codebase. Can someone please tell me its name?!

Google is a bitch today.

Aws Lambda and serverless framework. Yes FaaS is cool. Love it. But it is pain in ass when you have the only way for you deploy is zip the fucking code with all the dependencies. Comm'on AWS you can do better. Look at azure functions. Please give me a git deployment support. Please I beg. Each test iteration takes like for ever. Also no proper local emulator. Fuck you AWS. Fuck you serverless.

Being lazy taught me more about (code) automation that years of study ever did.

“Ugh! Updating translations is boring, why do I have to do this manually?”

“Damn I really hate having to remember endpoints”

“Oh, come on! Its the third time I initialise this the same way!”

I’d love to say this is a motivational speech or something but no, im just lazy lol

Now I feel a bit bad about the guy I ranted about before, who did all the talk but none of the work. I started to tell my colleagues and even my boss about my impression. And my boss concurred, was actually so fed up with him that he confronted him...
Later on turned out he was the only one able to repair our mangled git history. Dunno how it'll pan out. The guy is also our 'scrum master'. Maybe doesn't always have to be love, peace and harmony. Time to explore our darker sides and yank out some motherfucking code.

Debugging TLS failures.

In Java.

With the funny certstore cause "we need to do this by ourselves".

Fucking shitty broken pile of cunt code.

At least the debugging output is good.

As much as I love TLS, debugging it is a nightmare and when a programming language like Java decides to wrap it, it becomes Ctulhu.

OS
- TLS Library
-- TLS Certificate Chain
- JDK
-- JDK SSL Handler
--- JDK Certstore
---- Java Library Abstraction, eg. WS SSL

Joyfully fingering of a tentacle arsehole.

Fuck it, fucking fuck it.

Consulting company, been here for 2 years, had some decent projects (surprise, only those that me and my coworker started from scratch), but OMG the fuck ton amount of bizarre code I've seen is just mindblowing.

Everytime I start on a project, spend days improductive because the stack won't fucking work.

We use some frameworks, but the creators of the projects said fuck it, why would we follow the framework guidelines if I can create a supersmart way that nobody fucking understands way of doing things. I mean, It will look smarter and so nobody else can touch this shitty code.

I hate that the most praised developer is the guy that created most of this shit, and his nº 1 skill is moving Jira tickets to the correct state, tracking time (PM's love this, I hate it) and blocking my fucking merge requests because I left an extra blank line, dangling comma or whatever the fuck else, he's like a human linter.

Dude, the code is a piece of shit, my dangling comma is not going to be the problem! And if you really care that much, setup a linter or something.

Fuck this, I'm quitting this week.

Coding was and is the thing that currently feeds me the most efficient way. But it's also what caused to cringe and to hate people the most because of legacy code and immensely narrowminded dimwits aka clients.
But yeah: Coding is love, coding is life. ❤️

Dear X. There's an obvious error with the way you're merging arrays; instead of conditionally adding items to the existing array, each condition overrides any items added by the previous conditions, which is clearly not the desired behaviour. I'd love to add a test to illustrate this behaviour, but you're not using them. I'd also love to create a simple pull request, but for some fucking reason you're using the worst possible version control system so I can't do that. I've submitted a support ticket along with all the code needed to fix this silly mistake, but apparently you either don't understand 2 lines of your own fucking code, or you didn't even bother looking at it before posting a shitty generic reply about "needing more information". There is no such thing as more information. There are two IFs, and they are supposed to add items to the array, not override any previous items. It's written in your own comments, and it's pretty obvious from the way the rest of the function merges those items.

Also, use a fucking linter, your code is a mess.

Been working on a back-end server for one of my apps. Then I discovered Firebase. The way I code apps will change forever now. I've deleted all my back-end code and migrated to Firebase.
Firebase is like the new Parse.io, I love it

It has been a while since my last tale. I think it was about me starting a bootcamp...

Well, a lot of things happen since that:
• I did the bootcamp: three months of code-sleep-code, but now I know a bunch of new stuff.
• I gained my passion/love for develop again.
• Made new friends.
• IDK how became the CTO of a startup (which failed, shame, but I did learn a lot of new stuff again. Plus it wont failed because of the tech side (damn business not doing his business part...)) for about 6 months.
• And next week I will start at a new job (yaaay, income again!): they give me a nice 2k laptop, work from home if I want, nice salary...

So, I think I am ok.

PD: Sry if something I write is wrong, english is not my native language.

Nice cuppa Earl Grey with honey. Badass Wolf Shirt playlist on repeat.

I'm going in for a voluntary night shift. I fuckin love this job.

Honestly now that I have a job and I work with good people, being on devrant anymore just ruins my day. I love it when people rant about their jobs and code, and I love it when people share cool stuff on here. But the childish and toxic behavior leaves such a sour taste in my mouth. I hope I see you assholes (you know who you are) on the street so I can smack you, and you deserve every bit of what's coming to you. I hope you can turn your life around and actually help the world one day. Til then, I'm going to enjoy my life, because my life is fucking amazing. bye!

I absolutely love the work put into Visual Studio Code.
It is a great editor, which evolves quickly and has a nice community.

Was using vim for literally everything and switched at some point to VS code and love using it since

I hate so very much about so very many things, I forget some of the things I love.
And what I love is small lines of code that reveal something about their developer. This? This I love to see.

Some guy here studied C at university, decided he liked it so much he would port it over to JS. Absolutely pointless effort, but he decided he would do it nonetheless. The code is clean, documented, just with this little quirk and I'm honestly smiling. You rock, buddy, whoever you are.

Eyes are wet ..heart is broken ..
not because of love..
When someone tell your code is not good
it hurts deep inside when programming is your passion :(

The code will not:
* bad-mouth
* lie
* let down
* abuse
* cheat
* bully
* kill
* run away

The code brings people together no matter if someone has the brain power of protozoa or is the next Euclid. The code is pure with a passive buff to become as perfect as possible. It's the new math for the future world. The code is love, the code is life.

That's why I love (to) code. And you?

I wanted to rant like 10 times today but was on a tight schedule (yes its fucking sunday), so here is everything:

*********
Fuck you, i dont give a shit that you need to present data tomorrow, its weekend, you cant just fucking call me to get things done asap. Im working from the code of a dead guy do you know how fucking hard it is to ask a dead person whats their code do?

*********

I really wish devrant had some kinda longboard/skateboard in the profile pic

*********

Im still not a fucking designer i can make like does-not-make-you-barf tier designs, JUST TELL ME WHAT TO FUCKING CODE JESUS

*********

whys the new rick n morty episode not out yet wtf

*********

Yo i love linux but set the fucking privileges right you dipshit, i cant exrcute my damn code on your crappy ass 2008 xeon server fuck you

From long Using Visual Studio Code for Programming.

Why i love
supports Typescript
supports java
Lighter
plugins available like linter, git lense

Best for small web app projects.

And Favourite IDE, intellij Idea

Why ?
For writing java i use as
it can easily generate getter setters
constructor
importing
and build process.
best for java.

last but not the least
Nano
why ?
because most of the devops configuration, requires to be done via terminal only and i often use nano.
it is good for shell scripting,
editing configurations

that is all....

I love when devs bitch about the size of PRs on a very standard sized one. They're all related changes that can't be broken up. Do you want the app to be broken between PRs? He spent more time bitching about the size of the diff and telling me how he does it better instead of just reviewing the code. A tip or an ask is one thing, this was a wall of text.

Oh and he still didn't approve the PR, which I know he looked at, and didn't leave any blocking comments.

Hey DevRant Fam!, i hope everyone is doing very well today! :D so recently i have had this thought in my mind and i'm not so sure what to think.... i've been coding in c# for awhile now and i absolutely love love it!.

though i have no job experience yet and i truly cannot wait till i get into an internship position and hopefully land a full-time position!, though, my memory isn't the best in terms of anything, i generally have to (not all the time) look up documentation on Microsoft's website for c#, try and read and understand code examples etc, Would you feel that's like not a good sign or..... im curious to know what you guys think!. just so you know i never copy/paste any code! i try do everything myself :-)

Again thank you very much for reading this! and i do apologise if it is too long!, i hope you guys/gals are having a wonderful day/night wherever you may be! <3

Best
Milo

I'm a fullstack dev, but this is coming from the point of view of frontend work in Rails 7. I'm using jsbundling-rails. I tried to get importmap to work, but that was fool's errand.

I absolutely love the module system in modern js. I love how closely it resembles the way python does things.

npm isn't the meme I was led to believe it is. I also don't need things like toString.js, so maybe that's why.

I also love using flexbox. It's so straightforward and I don't have to rely on hacks to do basic things.

Where have I been you ask? Over my head in paying work that never gave me the chance to update old but working code.

jquery and Bootstrap plague me from when I built these things years ago when they were needed to get things done quickly. My skillset and the technologies available to me have also drastically improved, allowing me to do things with fewer libraries.

What I absolutely love to do is refactoring. With strongly typed languages, I often just remove or change something and then follow the compiler errors to finish the refactoring by fixing them.
It‘s not just a matter of renaming something. I will reliably get all the places in code which are affected by the change.

How do you handle that with weakly typed languages like JS? I can only imagine how horrible of an experience refactoring would be.

I never liked Facebook. I only use it to get posts from the pages on architecture. Yeah, i wanted to be an architect 😅. But after a week of getting into coding, i flipping fell in love with this too. After, i found devrant, i thank god that it exists. Facebook is for people ranting about what their relatives are liking or hating or what, people they don't know, are doing. That's not real. What you guys, the community so wonderful rants about everyday, is the real stuff. I love devrant. I love to code.

Chalo(is about the same as saying,"I'm out"), Good Night peeps 😴.I'm high on sleep.

P.S. didn't proof read the above because high on sleep

I've just started my new career with a job in IT operations and I love it. After my electrical engineering degree I fell into a job as a website manager for a small company, I self taught html and css and I knew from then that I had found a job that didn't feel like a job. I'm​ excited to learn everything I need to know to progress as far as I can go in this industry. In my first few weeks at this new job (where i have my own office!) I've self taught python to create automation scripts for live projects, currently up to my eyeballs trying to figure out how to change the VB code for an excel module.....Then there have been so many other projects and bugs and I love it! Any tips and advice is greatly appreciated!

Heyyy DevRant Fam! It’s definitely been quite awhile since i have posted in this amazing community and I apologise, i’ve been extremely busy with my uni work and just life caught up to me 😅, also as always I really hope everyone is doing very well wherever you may be as always :-).

I’d love to ask you guys a question that has been on my mind for a while now 😊, I’ve been thinking of making my own password manager for a side/fun project. What I’ve been doing is I’ve found a open source project on github and downloaded it , loaded it up and read through some code, from memory the project is called ‘keepass’ and its written in c++!.

I’d love to get some advice from you guys, how do i go about learning and understanding open source code :-)? What is some advice you can give to me? Anyways I’d be very grateful for any piece of advice :D once again as always hope everyone has an amazing Sunday night and long weekend, wherever you may be!.

Thank you for reading my very long post sorry for rambling on 😅.

Kind regards,
Milo ☺️

Asciidoc! I finally got around to play around with it and it is just so awesome! Best tool for documentation hands down! So many improvements over Markdown:

- importing real code snippets based on tags with syntax highlighting and annotations (which can be also auto numbered with "<.>" instead of "<1>"!)
- Admotions! Love them!
- automatic TOC! Finally!!
- joining a child item to a parent item in a list with "+" in a new line (this one took me a while to understand, but no more offset items in lists! Love it!)
- making tables and loading data from an actual CSV-file! The future is now!!
- embedding images with a fixed size

Just a few things from the top of my head. I don't know why I put up with vanilla Markdown all these years...

Last but not least, a big THANK YOU to everyone who recommended Asciidoc! I accidentally stumbled across multiple mentions of Asciidoc a few months ago. Sorry, but you know who you are! Much love to you and your loved ones! You changed my life for the better. Thank you!

Nope,

Far too in love with myself to have any sort of insecurities.

Not that there is anything wrong with having them, we are all different. I just believe that insecurities come from giving other people far too much power over ourselves. And I just couldn't care less what people say about me, as long as it IS about me. See?

The more confidence you project the more attention you will get, be it good or bad, it doesn't matter since it is the only way to go up in your workplace. Having a personality besides "ZOmG cOde Is LiFE" really goes a long way also.

So yall cheer the fuck up, its just code.

I love it when you don't know if your code is working as intended because you can't figure out what the intended behavior should be.

yay!
*sad party horn*

Please ignore the wk99-like code. I've been throwing stuff at the wall.

Situation: I have a love hate relationship with python due to the lack of types as I have in more established languages such as C#, Java and shit even TypeScript

Situation (cont): A rather large codebase that i have developed for multiple processes at work run on Python.

I don't hate it, I just don't absolutely love it, there is a lot of things to like about Python, but man I do have some conflicts with it, I have been facing out to use other solutions that feel scripty, such as the newer versions of C# with .net, but I would say that about 80% of our codebase runs on Python, the rest is PHP.

I am somewhat traditional in the way my programs run, I started with C++ and Java, then for whatever reason (I blame codecademy at the time) switched over to Ruby and Javascript, mostly Javascript. I do not remember how I found Python, I do remember learning it with an online tutorial, shit was easy to get started with.

My codebase running on Python is huge, and they do a lot from automation scripts, to data gathering and database management, never had I been bitten with the "oh noes is so slow" bug since my code is not Google level big, for everything else Python seems rather fast imho

I dunno, big time love hate relationship

Shame on Apple to use AngularJS on their iTunes Connect developer portal.... and probably other sites.
Today I discover that while inspecting the source code in search of an element that might have been hidden or missing and to my surprise I saw angular code in it !! WHATTT? !! shame on Apple... the links of the iTuneConnect still mention WebObjects (a Java based web-building framework that was never adopted by the mass) but the client code has Angular on it. How is it possible that they did not try to come up with their own framework for web applications ? They started the entire web-widget html/Javascript adventure, promoting modular web component and what not to then adopt a Google made framework ?! . No wonder they are syncing again. :D ... of course I am just runting... I love you Apple.

Rant/Love.

I am sitting in this Big data class next to a girl.(I don't really talk to her so much but things are about to change ) A guy is asking her to share her code base for some insights/ideas on homework and she advices

Don't look at the code base else you'll get same ideas I got and would never come with an original solution. Then she further goes on advising on solving map reduce problems and giving me some tips to be careful about.

I turned amazed. It was like deja vu. I said the same thing to my friend some time last week.
My eyes glittered and suddenly I am like

Where were you all these days ???

Nothing is more attracting then a girl talking about code.

Am I the only one ??

So there is this program with legacy code from 15 years ago the client is in love with. Every time we try to accomplish something it proves that the mf who wrote it was so lazy and incompetent that he should have never chosen this profession. Goto, one-two letter for type and variable names. Dude even wrote an ascii decoder as if he would be payed for lines of code. Today we found a code where a rows of data was misindexed by one (we incorrectly assumed that we could extract some data from it but the column we wanted to use was just there for decoration, it was not actually used). the calculations the system uses are replicated for each interface with duplicate lines of code so the same binary data can show different values because of the multipliers.

If I could I woukd go back in time and bang the guy's head to the desk emphasising each word like "You - should - quit - and - never - ever - write - code -again"

Sometimes I wish I could go back in time 10 years and tell the coder-wannabe I were back then to choose something else to do for a living, like being a carpenter or something like that.

Sure, the money is good, and the job is super comfy (working from the bed is awesome), but dude, the stress of corporate client-crisis caused by poor management bullshit 9-5 is going to kill me.
How you deal with this fucking toxic environment? There are some alternatives to this? I love to code, a lot, but lately I'm wishing it was just a hobby.

Never understood why people bloody love their code. It's good to be happy about it, but
beats the zest for refactoring or any other sort of improvement.
Took me an hour to explain a senior dev why his changes introduced bugs in build.

Literally landed to the point reverting his commit and demonstrating the damn build to work.
To which he replies what if the data is corrupt
Damn it's not the data, it's your bloody senses.

Anybody else sometimes do not like being a team lead?

I am the senior most person in my team (in fact took interviews of the rest of them). While I love the work and the team, I sometimes feel that I do not get to code that much. I am mostly assigning work, or helping others. Even if I get in the zone, there is always someone who needs some assistance or some meeting, which breaks the flow. Also the tension about non technical stuff like salary increments, giving feedback and assigning backups. I do love it mostly, but my ass is nearly always on fire. The team loves me though. I am still young, took this responsibility because the owner trusted me with this (he has no complaints). Thoughts ?

So, this is my first actual rant since I joined devRant and I am not saying I am perfect either. Here goes nothing...
1. I honestly hate it when people use spacebar instead of tabs
2. People who have a bad indentation or no indentation at all (even though almost all IDEs have auto-indentation). The bad thing is when a person asks me to have a look at their code I always end up wasting time fixing the indentation rather the actual problem.
I love a properly indented code and that's one of the major reason I usually recommend Python to most people.
3. Lastly, people who leave lots of unnecessary empty lines. E.g.,

public class HelloWorld{

public static void main(String[]args){

System.out.println("Hello world!");

}

}

!!rant

Today I wanted to finish a feature in some Python code I. Working on instead I scope creeped myself a bunch times adding "other cool features" and refactoring working and readable code that didn't need refactoring. Oh and learning about random things on SO and finally giving up on making any more progress for the day and reading devrant.

ADHD Self:"Coding is love, coding is life. Plus I'm getting paid."

....

Responsible self: "Wait no, go home sleep, spend time with your wife"

Remembering self:" she's out with friends"

Responsible self: "ah, carry on, she's probably spending more money than you're making"

I do not work developing, besides this is really a passion for me. Said that, today I was talking with my boss.

Boss: Your idea is great, I love this tool you made.

Me: Thank you, I just need to finish some details, this last dramatic change in our structure messed up with a lot of things.

Boss: Yes, I have some ideas to we code more.

Me: Great! I love development! We can do ...

Boss: No, we can use your time with other things as it is more expensive. I'm going to get a boy still in college to develop.

I love what I do, I'm passionate about what I do and at times I'd rather be home coding than at work in a meeting. While coding is amazing, I can see how someone could become overwhelmed. I can see why people are scared of programming. Not everyone needs to learn how to code so I don't see why so many people are pushing this "everyone should code" agenda

I just love code-golf, I only started recently, but sometimes it's nice to fuck all coding conventions, missuse lazy evaluation and abuse scope leaking.
I'm normally really tidy with formating and whitespace placement, but code-golf is also a testing field for uncommen constructs and I think it can give deeper insights into a language.

I don't like languages specifically for code-golf though, these are just stupid and no fun (at least for me).

I love Nim because it lets me use chickenbob speech to make calls inside of my code being that is is canse insensitive.

Happy days, yesterday we updated form 16.3 to 16.4 and thanks to them fixing the bug in 'getDerivedStateFromProps' my broken code is now breaking.

Don't you just love it when features inadvertently depend on bugs. The entire component ONLY worked properly because of a react bug.

I love learning by doing.

Building MVPs and prototypes is the best way. Even better if you have a chance to show and share them in front of an audience (peer pressure can be good!).

Share the lessons you've learned and what you've done wrong, it will help many more people than just yourself.

I've been working for an eLearning company for the last 4 years (CloudAcademy.com) and I'm in love with the idea of learning something new every day. And not just coding. Code is "only" a tool to solve problems, and learning something about those problems and fields will make you a better developer.