Please contact your optician. Hahahahaha

was at a hackathon, had to write an app that sent current location to emergency contact. hard coded the location of where the hackathon was taking place and one of the members phone numbers. we came second

That weird moment when you get an error "please contact your administrator" and then you realize that you are the administrator..

I have 2 mom's so here are their contacts in my phone.

please contact god for detail information

If you ever have a client asking for a site working on IE4 contact me

My linkedin: "please dont contact me about javascript work"

Every recruiter on linkedin: "hold my beer"

* Me to a girl*
Me : Hey can I know your age?
Her: I can't tell the age like that!
Me: Oh! I see! Can I get your email address so that I can contact you later!
Her: priyanka1995@gmail.com

Me : —_(@_@)_—

*opens camera*
*permission popup asking for contacts/telephone permissions*

*installs Open Camera*

Really, fucking phone/contact permissions to take pictures?!

Yeah fuck right off.

During an Interview:
- What's your greatest strength?
- Perseverance.
- Ok, thank you, we'll contact you!
- I'll wait here...

*Tries to pull down code changes*
*Repo is dead*
*Tries to load IDE*
*IDE is loaded via the cloud and it is down*
*Tries to contact help desk*
*Help desk is down*
*Sits in silence*
Guess I am done for the day.

Here is a tutorial on how to create a contact form in React / Redux.

Phone app on Android Marshmallow has a contact in Favorites even though I don't contact her often OR have her marked as Favorite. Nice little glitch you have there, dev.

that feel when you see "contact the administrator" and you don't know what to do, because you are the administrator

Client: Glad to have you on the team, you come highly recommended for your experience in Microsoft technology, specifically asp.net

Me: I was contacted for a php, mariadb project

Client: well they're all the same

Me: actually sir no.... No they're not.

Client: then why was I told to contact you

Me: you tell me, your hiring manager contacted me for a php project not asp or. Net

Client: well I guess I know who to blame for your, sorry for taking your time. Can I contact you if we have a project made with that thing you mentioned?

Me: php?, Sure

Client: nice...... Take care

Me: you too

That went better than I expected

You say they are looking for me, but when i contact them they pretend like they dont even know me.

Client: I have lost everything on the cloud holy crap!

Me: Are you signed into your google drive, and within the folder?

Client: No, how do i do that again? I obviously cant be bothered reading your well formated and instructional guide and would rather contact you at 6pm on a saturday night

If. You. Don't. Contact. Us. With. A. Registered. Email. Address. Or. Phone. Number. Then. I'm. Not. Giving. You. Any. Information. Relating. To. 'your'. Account.

Oh you "don't agree" with that?

Guess what, never gonna give you up!

Oh, typo, that should've been: never gonna give a fuck!

No, seriously, I couldn't care less.

So today I found out I'm a Senior Developer. Was I told nope. Just found it on my contact details on the company address book. Ask boss about it he said yes I am. Would have been nice to have been told I was promoted...

"Contact us" - the universal symbol for - "This tier is too expensive for you"

Fuck the incompetent and "pretentious psuedo devs" !!

I have been developing a web portal for a student club for this really big company (as intern) and then they assign this fuckin group of these 4 stupid intern devs to work with me !

The fuckin tweked my code and redirected the CONTACT FORM to the fuckin LOGIN CONTROLLER !!

Then these sons of Einstein inserted dummy users without a username and password into the fuckin production site !!

Now each fukin time someone submits contact form is redirected into some random user account !!

Who the fuck needs Hackers when we have these legendary coders -_-

New client wanted us to redo their site and boost their SEO because "nobody has ever used our contact form".

Looking at their current site, turns out their contact form is POSTed to an HTML page, that obviously does 0 processing on it. Like tossing it on the trash bin.

Their current website is done by a company that claim they're experts on web design for our clients sector.

Still haven't stopped laughing.

My gitlab order has just arrived and because there’s no news after a month, I decided to contact them and they gave a water bottle, a mug, and a pack of stickers for free

There's a "support" button in my app that allows users to contact me to report issues. The email body is prefilled with some useful information. This is the kind of email that I receive most of the time... DO THEY THINK I CAN READ THEIR MINDS?

1.) Please make WordPress die();

2.) Please prevent recruiters from getting my contact info.

3.) Please ban all "coder meme/joke" sites from instagram. They repost long dead jokes and the jokes don't even make sense if you know how to code.

Craziest deadline I've ever had...

Task: Patch 193 machines
Environment:
- no configuration/patch management
- no knowledge of the machines
- no contact info/application owners

...timeframe...do it today!

Here's the winner...do we have credentials for these machines? Ha, nope.

Had my first interview today for an internship!!
Say they'll contact me after New year!!
Let's hope i get it!!

I had a recruiter contact me today, calling me Andrew in the process. Believe it or not my name isn't Andrew, and the email address they sent it to was me@MYFULLNAME.com, so they should be able to get my name right.

I responded to them pointing that out and advising they never contact me again. (In a somewhat sassy way).

In a well crafted apology I was informed that they had a great track record and that mistakes happen. Here's the email's subject line:

RE: Hi.. opportunity in New Haven, CT (Downtown- next to train station)- RUDE DO NOT CONTACT EVER AGAIN

I responded more kindly that I appreciated the apology but the subject line confirmed my position of "not interested."

This was followed up by them trying to "recall" the email, and resend it... Like I didn't notice the insult in the subject line of your apology...

Nicely done, nicely done.

My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.

Recruiter emails me about a role. I replied that I am not interested.

Two weeks later, the recruiter emails me again that my profile is not suitable for the role and they have saved my details and will contact me in future.

WTF. This is a very well reputed organization for that matter.

When you receive a "bug report" from one of the clients:

Subject: contact form
Message: It doesn't work

Sometimes the design decisions of big companies amazes me.

I wanted to contact support of Cloudflare. The only way to submit a new support query is by logging into the account first.

My problem is that I can not log into my account. What a bunch of retards.

When you're approaching a deadline and your cat likes to rest her head on your wrist while you code and its making your hand cramp but you don't want to make them move because it's the first physical contact with a living being you've had all day. ;_;

2days into changes in our team, so now I'm the only developer

client: so can you give me contact of another person while you're on vacation?
me: well, unfortunately I'm the only developer...
client: (ರ_ರ)
me: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

fb messenger stopped working after the update, it just shows a white screen... it made me realise i don't even care, family and friends contact me there but ... Dobby is a free elf now

Why is my VS Code terminal trying to contact the devil

First contact with computers: draw a square using LOGO language. No idea which was the computer back then.

First day, Boss is 2h late and I have to sit on the floor in the hallway waiting for him. No contact info to find out if I messed up or he.

Dear Dennis from Bremen, I appreciate how you dislike my websites color theme. And totally can understand that you can't employ me because of that. I thank you for taking the time and writing me this, even though I didn't ask you.

Go fuck yourself!

THE WORST PRANK ATTEMPT

If i remember true, it was 2012. april fool day..

me and my co-worker (we were the founders) decided to fool our members (we had a script's unofficial support forum). so, we did the plan. we register another account on march and wrote a few useful messages with it. help guys with that fake account (named as Root).

on fool day, we move the site to hidden folder (but didnt backup it) and added an index file as "hi, i am Root. you know me who am i. i hacked this site and deleted all dbs. cya later" (in turkish of course)

and we sit our chairs, began the watch our messages from facebook,skype,whatsapp etc..

we act like we are in trouble and we cant solve the problem.
at the same time, one of the our crew, decided to help us :D
so, he contact with our server's management crew. they dont know the fool too :)

server management looked up the situation without try to contact with me or my co. and we got an email from server like that
"hello tilkibey and impack, we just realized your site is hacked. so we delete your all ftp and db for safety. please contact with us asap"

we shocked and contact with them, explain the truths and request the recover our site (because we though they backup site before deleting all things). but they didnt backup it :(

so, we recover our last backup which is got nearly 10 days ago :(

my first contact with GNU/linux

I added under my LinkedIn description a P.S. (post scriptum)
Don't contact me if your main browser is Internet Explorer.

Make a simple contact form they said.

Client: Hey the contact form doesn't bring the message to my email inbox
Me: Check your spam folder
Client: what is a spam folder
Me:😬

Our company Nerf wars got a little rowdy one year, and a co-worker knocked over a (senior citizen) co-worker just to “win”. Like full on take down body slam. So much for no physical contact.

Shit that annoys me: People use the store (insert google play/apple/other) rating with one star to ask questions instead of fucking filling the stupid contact form or send an email to tech support.

The moment when you can't be bothered to tell family or friends what you do for a living so you just say working with computers....and the conversation normally stops there....

Also bonus when they contact you in the future to fix ALL their computer issues.....

Any country with very vague/non existing laws on flying drones? I want to test my semi-autonomous flight system for midrange delivery and in Germany you can only fly with visual contact.

Constructive criticism at its finest coming all the way from:

Fuck You
Fuck You - Fuck You
Fuck You, AL 10101

Note: Joe is my coworker, not the customer that wrote in. The form sends from his address.

I'm starting a job tomorrow, and I've just received the 3rd call today to make sure I'm ready... Nice of them but also kinda weird.

Do you also have these """friends""" that contact you only when they need IT support?

We should disable the “verify that you are a human” captcha for a day and see if aliens try to contact us via internet.

The first ever act of ecommerce happened in 1971 or 1972, when Stanford students used ARPANET to contact MIT students to buy some marijuana.

The first ever ecommerce act was a drug deal.

Offering a job without a button to apply or any contact info, because fuck you. 🙃

I finally got it

10 PRINT “Hallo”
20 GOTO 10

1983 : my very first program and also very first contact with a computer - a VC64

Dear email marketers:

I don't owe you anything just because you bought my contact information from some sketchy company. If I was interested in your garbage sales pitch I would fucking reply! Quit nagging me for a response and go get real jobs you fucking twats!

I got mad and hit my laptop, which upon contact instantly rebooted. *nervous laughter*

This is what I get for not putting authentication on the contact form on my portfolio...

An original sticker from the exhibition "Hello Computer" at Tekniska Museet in Stockholm 1980 when I, 10-year old, first came in contact with a computer - an ABC80 with some chess game on it...and the rest is pretty much history :-)

Hooray! After being in contact with countless companies I’ve got a joboffer last week! Too bad it pays even less then my last job but hey, jobless people can’t complain right?

The developer's conundrum:

Do I fix the issue before a user encounters it...

Or do I wait for a user to contact me and then quickly fix it so they think I am super helpful.

When my most hated ex tried to contact me in LinkedIn, since he works as a recruiter for some lame, generic HR company.
I was trying to tell myself so hard this relationship never happened, and that it was a bad dream that lasted 3 years. Oh well.

I had someone contact me yesterday saying... "I heard you can build a web app in a day."

When one of your friends makes you mad so you change their contact name to:

<ignore>their name</ignore>

🤷😂😂

I think someone puts roofies in my energy drink every morning, because recruiters contact me about positions I don't remember applying for.

Thinking to start business
Vegetables at door step.

I have 100+ farmers in contact. Who can provide vegetables daily.

What is your view/suggestion on it.

Ummmm.... Absolutely not you're an video editor why do you need my contact information?

Reddit, uh... that's not... wh- HOW IS THE CONTACT PLATFORM NOT MOVING

Dat moment when your contact person phones you and ask If you delete the whole Release Folder...

YEAH SURE I WAS IT BECAUSE I LIKE TO WORK ON WEEKEND

Fyi: FTP with one user for everyone - harhar stupid bricks

Me when I finally understand how VueJS works, how simple, easy and customizable it is, how I built a working contact form in 5mn and how I'm gonna stick with this gorgeous motherfucker for the rest of my life.

When my first TCP program made contact with another computer.
That was glorious!

Just spend the last 2 hours fixing the email server for sites which get next to no visits and no one uses the contact form.

It's Friday evening FFS I don't care if it's a 'Company Priority' I just want to go home.

*on phone*
Friend: I want to add 100 contacts to gmail how do I do that?
Me: Add those in excel sheet and import it in gmail

*after 10 mins another call*
Friend: I deleted something in excel. How do I get it back
Me: Ctrl Z

*after 10 mins another call*
Friend: I added contacts to excel and emailed to you. Can you email me contacts so that I'll add to my gmail?
Me; I don't have these powers. You have to import in gmail.

*after 5 mins another call*
Friend: I uploaded contacts but I want it in on my iPhone
Me: Add gmail account to your iPhone. It will sync contacts.
Friend: I know we can do it on Android but is it possible on iPhone bcz Gmail is of Google right?

*hang up*

I can't figure out how to get in contact with Firefox to figure out why every time i log into a website i need for work on Nightly, it states that my username or password aren't on record, and i have to change my password (even when switching browsers). Only started after their last update today, and now that I'm testing other sites, it's multiple sites, but not all.

Ideas? help?

!rant
If you have software in production please have some way for a user to find some contact email (create for this reason only if needed.)

I have run into crippling bugs in huge essential systems (state dmv new system, the ticket system utility marking) which they were oblivious to until I went out of my way, like a stalker to get some contact of someone remotely related to someone I could drop this info in the lap of, and so far it was a total shock to them (the dmv system was taken offline for 3 days to resolve)

I get not wanting to run a helpdesk to support users, but give technical users some contact info ( even if you think you have full coverage analytics because, being software, it may have a bug)

/rant

Not being appreciated but I bet that applies to nearly everyone.

If I build you really cool shit you've not seen before. And no one else you know or can get in contact with are capable of it. You're damn right I expect respect and compensation equal to my skill and time.

"No battle plan survives contact with the enemy."
- Helmuth von Moltke

And make no mistake... the users are the enemy.

F*ck WIX!!!

POS of software.

Was working with a client to change one email to contact and that shite kicked me out with no warning on changes. Reset the password and now I can't even login.

You know you spend too much time in the terminal when this happens...

I was in contact with technical support by web chat. To finish the chat, he asked me to click the EXIT button.

It was in caps so I typed in
EXIT thinking it was a REPL.

Client: "I found a bug on your website. Its not possible to submit the contact form."

Me: "No bug. Its a feature"

#answerforeverything

WTF is going on with marketers in LinkedIn?! I’m an engineer why the fuck are you trying to make me sell your product to a company I only code for, fucking spammy cunts contact sales and do your job I have enough with mine.

"Free temporary (48h) file hoster. Please use the contact email to the right for info.
We comply strictly with DMCA takedowns but please allow a 48 hour response time."

A guy rants a client of mine "anonymously" via his website contact form. How stupid is that. Even worst. He used his static IP connection. Busted! IP forwarded to my client. Turns out he is one of my client's client and has unpaid bills to him :>

Contact page from a graduate course in software engineering.... the telephone field is a number field..... I gave up sign up

Recruiters who cold e-mail me get hard and specific questions before I ever give them a resume and phone number. Been doing this too long to just randomly hand a resume and contact info to whoever. YOU came to ME. Make it worth my while.

Fuck NameCheap.

They will show you a domain is on sale, make you contact support to buy it, tell you "oh sorry it's your browser cache's fault, please restart your browser" and then JACK UP THE PRICE 10x.

Royally fuck you. This shit should be illegal. If I thought it would solve anything I'd contact ICANN.

God I fucking hate this industry. It's all a fucking scam.

Dear recruiters,

I have no problem if you write me an e-mail or a private message on linkedin.
But don't assume I will accept your contact requests. That will be a bit suspicious considering my company's management is also on linkedin, don't you think?

I used to do some freelance work for a nonprofit. I’d do some website stuff and gallery sitting.

My friend was the gallery director. When she left, I decided to stop freelancing there and I dropped off the keys with the new director. I told them they could contact me later if they have questions about some things I implemented on the website. The new director thinks I’m a random freelancer and starts to BADMOUTH MY FRIEND, the former director.

Over a year later, the gallery assistant emails me asking about SSL warnings and cc’s the new director. WTF.

1) Those warnings were happening long before I left and long before I even started. 2) I am not your website support. I only invited contact for things I worked on. 3) The assistant already contacted Squarespace and Go Daddy for help and they gave her instructions.

I told her I didn’t set up their website and it sounds like she has the resources to resolve this on her own and she should contact Squarespace and Go Daddy if she needs more help. After all, you pay those companies for their services support and my time isn’t free.

I got freelance contact for this simple static website.

Now the client is having a brainstorm and started giving more and more requests for features...

Slowly it's going to be not worth it...

This god damn unknown company reported my websites' Facebook page is violating some intellectual property. Facebook report says I must contact the reporting party to get this resolved but there were no contact details specified!! I searched on Google and Facebook om how to contact Facebook but no luck.

How the fuck can I get this resolved if I don't know who reported this? Does anybody here know how the fuck I can contact Facebook?? If you do then please let me know!

we were told by the developers of a CRM that they have seen occasions where a user's record gets randomly overwritten with the information of the contact they are trying to create.

well... my father doesn't bother about anything regarding me and supporting me financially or anything, and I broke up the contact with my abusive mother ~3 years ago, so... I can't really say they supported me haha...

Linkedin message: Please add me to your contact list cause maybe in the future I will have job for you.

Me: Maybe in the future I will add you.

I think my boss hates me 🤭 she accepted my meeting invite, I made eye contact with her on my way to the meeting room, she just looked up and then back down. Now here I am, been waiting for her to show up for 10 minutes 🙃

I am realizing that "We will tell you about the results next week" means "YOU should contact us next week to prove your interest" in the HR language.

What else is there that is subtle and hidden during interviews?

I was playing around with Gboard. Started with "I" and selected everything that came after it. Read it after a while and this makes sense. I am moving to this place next week and I have used gmail to contact with real estate agent. Scary as fuck.

coffee and avoid contact

That moment during your internship when you work on a project using a framework you're not familiar with, with no doc, and absolutely no comments, and you find a file with 1.3k lines of code without the ability to contact the previous dev

my wife got in contact over my website because of the content. the pen friendship escalated quickly. does that count?

OK, got send into 1 week quarantine, since my class might have had contact with an infected teacher last week.

Two brainfarts that resulted in... a lot of pain

I had been coding all day, ~6hrs. I was in the zone, so I hadn't saved to git. It was all uncommitted changes (you see where this is going...)

Brainfart#1: The code used the "Contact" class, but for some reason my hands typed "Product" in this ONE line.

Brainfart#2: I became aware of Brainfart#1, so I changed the variable from "Product" to "Contact". However, I instinctively pressed F2, "Rename Symbol", instead of just changing the variable I was using. Now ALL of the references to "Product" were to the "Contact" class instead, across all of our code.

I finished coding. I committed and pushed the changes, closed the IDE, and left the desk for a snack. When I came back, the automated tests were failing due to an import error. That's when I noticed my mistake. I couldn't do Ctrl+Z because I had closed the editor. I had to change the names one by one across all of our code. "Contact" and "Product" are probably our two most used classes 😭

I'll code for free if you'd give me your mum's contact.

Started working on my old idea about contact app... Looking for some good name... And found an app having 30% common features I was thinking about. :(

Not sure if taking patent is a good idea on rest of the features.

"Apple and Google will ban the use of location tracking in covid19 contact tracing apps on their stores to ensure user privacy and to prevent governments from using the syatem to compile data on citizens"

AHAHAHAHAHAHA

Worked on an Android app that synchronized contacts. Didn't consider the contact id may change, leading to (rare) cases of properties being synchronized to the wrong contacts. Only found out later in production when one of my frequent contacts called - and my phone showed a wrong profile picture for him.

How did you come to know about devRant?

I was shopping stickers online, and the owner of that site referred me to devRant (personaly, we were having a chat via that contact us chatbox).

Share your stories, because I don't see any ads of devRant, so everything must be organic here...

An identity platform where you can find each other, get the other's public key and preferred contact method. And the entire key exchange and choice of contact method are negotiated automatically. No vendor lock in, encryption happens on your own device. Effortlessly and securely communicating, no searching for skype name, email, phone number, setting up shit. It would just work.

Home hack
Made a stylus with Reynolds butterflow and ear bud.
Just have to slightly moisten the ear bud.
And have to maintain contact with the silver part of the nib cover.

Name a more iconic duo. I will wait.
Job interview | "We will contact you"

Our HR will contact you soon.

I am building my portfolio website and added a contact section. In the API call to the backend, I am logging potential API failures to Firebase Analytics. Is it ethical to include the request data (content of the contact form) in log data?

Why do recruiters keep thinking they can contact me 5 months after i last spoke to them? Look at me LinkedIn. I have a job!

Waiting for a company to contact you with an offer or rejection is the absolute worst.

Pet hate... Designers supplying flats with "click here for some shit" "to contact us Click here". There should never be an instance when you use the words click here. Besides being really bad shit for many reasons, how do you click on a touch screen. Lazy bastards.

I have saved my sister's contact number with the nickname. Few days back I've noticed that her surname is automatically added to the nickname. Today I've noticed that her nickname is replaced with her real name in my Android mobile.

When I checked my contact list I noticed that there are 2 contacts, one with nickname, another with her real name.

Is this a new trick Google playing?

Kids i learned a valuable lesson today!

Regardless how tired, don't forget wether you are about to put your contact lenses on of off.

I just asked a client if he wants a contact form instead of just writing down an email address on their contact page.

Now I'm trying to explain to him how building a full blown CRM is outside the scope the business website we agreed to build.

Lesson Learned: Never make suggestions.

Along with the usual sheet of our contact data that our school gives us to check if it is still correct, we now also get a nice, thick layer of privacy policy because of the GDPR. Nice!

Gotta love it when your client tells his whole company that they can contact you for any question related to computers. I'm a fucking developer and no first level Microsoft Windows support.

If you're gonna contact me on LinkedIn asking me to ditch my current job in favor of working for your company, you better make sure that at least the website on your company's LinkedIn page actually is up.

Easy. I've learn Bash, Python and Java just by constantly getting assigned to projects that require those languages. Also tiny bit of Perl, but I don't want to talk about this.

I was hired as a C++ developer BTW and never had contact with those languages.

When you contact the API communication support of the supplier, and several emails and test cases later they still fail to understand your problem.

Hey Bad-practice, i see you’re looking for a new job? Are you interested in working in the main capital only 60km away?

Yeah sure, here are my contact details.

Ok great! Expect an invitation for somewhere next week.

Two days later i receive an email from their HR manager, who wasn’t even able to spell their own company name correctly... Asking again my phone number that i already gave to the first contact.

Impression so far? Very mediocore.

Contact tracing is scary as fuck!

I feel like we should all make an effort to tell people not build these things

Ugh, since I bought a few domain names, and thus my contact details are public (grrr), I get stupid quotes from people around the world going like: "Hey! I'm a web dev specialised in [insert technology here], I want money! Contact me!", or "Hi, I am [redacted], we are a talented agency in [cuntry] and can offer you the best in web development blablabla".

The only help I need is "fuck off".

It feels like I'm taking a dump in a public toilet and people knock on the door willing to help me clean my ass for me.

If I had a penny for every time, I go on a
site and go to contact/find us and see this.
Which part of you need an API key do people not get?

How to become the favourite client among your app devs in two simple steps

1 - raise a support ticket, stating that it really needs to be solved, the sooner the better, but omit any ids/names in the description.
2 - leave for a vacation, without any way to contact you.

Spent 3 hours to think a good name to my contact application... Still thinking

Outlook - " You have many duplicated contacts. Want to merge ?"

Me - ( inside mind thinking .... wtf, there are no duplicate contacts ) Ok do it.

pressed 'merge' for every contact ( Yeah, 'merge all' wasnt even there. Fucker designed the application which ask user to merge every contact, one by one ).

End Result - Brain Fucking piece of shitty microsoft' outlook android application, created 5 duplicates of all the contacts. Cant be more happy. Now i have 1000 contacts.

Microshit at its best again
Microshit managed to keep my trust on its products. Always, performs like Tatti ( Shit in hindi )

Edit - A wise man honoured Microshit with 'Macroshit'

Having 36 jira ticket open and people continue to contact you on micro$oft teams =_=

Just realized, contact form messages for my Firefox add-on is probably the closest I'll ever get to fan mail...

So I got the Google Foobar challenge while I was in highschool. I completed up to level 3 of it and got into contact with a recruiter. They said to contact them when I was in college. I then stopped doing the challenge due to school keeping me too busy. I've heard that level 4 is the hardest level and requires high level programming and math concepts to be able to do. Should I complete it now or wait until I have done more difficult courses in cs?

I hate how the world works sometimes, get a potential chance to work in my dream job after having no contact from any other workplaces and boom, as soon as I might be on the right track I get offered a full time position as a level 1 help desk technician... Fuck

god, Google's contact page is a mess

This lack of real human contact is getting on my nerves. Most of the text messages, discussions, especially in PR or design roads to follow develop into pissing contests. Always proving how much one is right and the others are wrong. -
I get so pissed off with little details, e.g. useless, wrongly handled boolean return values. Cannot understand how they don't see it my way. Or how they can feel superior by offering platitudes like "One should never use singletons". As if following some stupid rules and patterns from a book made you a better programmer instead of looking closely what each problem really needs. Or how they don't measure properly/scientifically or can't interpret the numbers.

My blood pressure already rising just from writing about it. Maybe I need to get some time off. But at the same time I feel like, they are doing it all wrong or not the way it should be done, so it's hard to let go. To obsessed with all that shit...

FUCK CUSTOMER SUPPORT

I live next to a province road so for things like internet more parties are involved then on a usual neighborhood street. 5 years ago I was asking about fibre internet since every household in a 8km area from my house has a fiber connect (except those next to a province road). They told me to contact them if a road construction would happen so they could do it simultaneously.
Today I thought lets contact them again since a complete road overhaul is gonna take place in the coming 6 months. They said that I've to contact them before those plans are made public otherwise they cannot jump in and do their work as well.

How would I inform a company of plans that are not public so I don't know about?

Microsoft Visual Studio is busy..

Contact Microsoft? NO!

Finally done with that VR crap. Now I get paid and sever all contact with that guy.

Is it possible to track down an IP from a Skype contact? Need to find out what country they are sending from. Asking for a friend.

Ask to get DB back ups done, contact DB team => cant log in => have 2 contact wintel team => they believe a reboot will sort it => contact customer => permission to bounce given => contact team to bounce => shifted back onto DB team => bd team open lync conversation about bouncing => no reply to mails if all is well in the world => sit at desk cant start dev cuz know will be sucked into aroganizing this brewery piss up with a bunch of bums....... cue putting on headphones and blasting some music at 11 ,,,,,,,,,,,, been waiting to deploy for 4 hours !!! FML

when the interviewer says someone will contact and fail to mention a timeline.

I JUST WANT TO CODE BUT MY ENVIRONMENT DESTROYS ITSELF AS SOON AS I TURN AROUND AND IM LEFT READING STACKTRACES THAT TELL ME TO CONTACT THE SYSTEM ADMINISTRATOR.

WHO THE FUCK IS THE SYSTEM ADMINISTRATOR ANYWAY?!

Marketing Person: [email] The feature you worked on is setting our customers’s statuses to “transactional.” We can’t send them marketing emails.

😒🙄

Me: [email] My code is not doing that. It checks to see if a contact exists in our mailing list. If it does, it adds the contact to the new list that you requested. If it doesn’t, it creates a contact and adds it to the list. Newly created contacts default to “onboarding.” For already existing contacts, I’m just adding them to the list and I’m not changing anything else. Here’s a blog post from the marketing software company that explains how a contact could get marked as “transactional.”

Later in the day, Marketing comes over to my desk and brings over the Product Manager. He asks the same question. 😡 Oh hell no. You do not create a gang up on me and hope the social pressure changes my answer.

Me: Like I wrote in my email, my code isn’t wrong and it’s not malfunctioning. It’s doing what you requested: add users who submit their email on x form to the new x list. In the marketing software, you can even check each contact and see when their status got changed to “transactional.” It wasn’t from my code.

I really hate marketing sometimes. Especially when they think they know how my code works. Excuse me, do you have access to our git repo? Can you read the code and point out the supposed problem? I didn’t think so. So don’t go accusing me of making a mistake or doing my job wrong.

Client emails for a wordpress site:
12:46 - Can you change the header color to #xxxxxx?
12:47 - Also can you change the text on this page? ( not part of our contract)
12:49 - never mind, I've done it already.. I'll contact you if I need more help.

Why do people have to have surnames like "Test" and "Sample"? We even have a contact record for an organisation called "Testing Circle", Circle being the name of one of our service providers, but this other organisation is unrelated and genuine.

Is the contact email still running over devrant.io?

Our Support Team is currently processing your inquiry. We'll contact you within 1 business day.

23 hours later:
Is it still not working, or the problem was fixed by itself?

I try and avoid making eye contact with people leaving the restroom. Today I accidentally made eye contact and did a courtesy smile. Still felt awkward.

Are we supposed to clap and say "Yay!"?

How to get a developers attention?

Simple, just leave a negative review on one of his apps. This will surely motivate the fellow to help you out. Contact forms are for the weak.

When you haven't heard anything from your client in months and suddenly they contact you expecting their request to be done by tomorrow 😔

they are official premium reseller of apple product. Even can't maintain contact form. ~{-_-}~

When recruiters send you shit like this:

"I have an exciting opportunity on hand that I hope will be very much of interest. Please share your best contact number / time to call for a confidential discussion. Kindly find my contact number below if you want to contact me directly. Thank you and look forward to hearing from you."

Just fucking tell me the position you are hiring for! It saves time 😡

So, how do reactjs developers send a contact form email? I've searched almost 3 pages of Google results and cannot find anything useful.

HR people who contact you to schedule an interview and you give them your available dates and times and then they ghost you...what are you even doing?

"So, let's see... it should have an about page, and a contact page - and it needs to be built with react."

From Documentation:
"A SHA256 HMAC is created outside of Bronto. If you need help with this step, contact one of the developers at your company."

Yes because, cause every company has a developer.

*Only developer at company*

this is why i have friends.

Started signing my internal emails:
<Name>
<Department>
Systemsomethingsomethingdarkside (title)
<Contact info>

Day 8 and noone has noticed.
I've been accepted into the mail herd.

A contact of mine asked me to try and recover emails she had deleted from her gmail. I told her if this is the case, I cannot help and she needed to contact google.

Unfortunately, she wouldn't accept this and kept asking me to try, so I reluctantly gave it a shot.

As I thought there was nothing I could do.

I am now half expecting her to ask me to try and access googles backups.

IM A GAMES DEVELOPMENT STUDENT, NOT MR ROBOT!

What the actual fuck is wrong with companies that have websites with useless buttons. And i mean useless like a "Click here for our api documentation" which takes you to a contact form that you fill out and wait 3 days for someone to email you a link to a publicly accessable webpage on the same fucking website, a link that is just an extra tier on the contact forms link 😠 or they make their website a motherfucking labyrinth just to find the api documentation or a phone number to contact them.

Someone at work who I never met before: Hey we need this webpage updated.

Me: Who told you to contact me? This is not under my responsibilities and I don’t know why you think it is. Who was your contact before? Maybe you should be reaching out to them instead of picking a developer at random to email.

The contact forms sent emails from no-reply@ and in the last meeting the client told us a colleague of them asked once who "No repli" was and why he's not answering her emails. Well...
(German client, so she may not knew what "no reply" means)

yo tester, I mentioned that I was off for half a day, WHY in the world are you trying to contact me to say that the test environment does not work??!!?!

There are more capable developers online that can fix that for you!!!

Stupid incompetent person!

Who thought of this “contact joined” notification on Telegram. It’s so cringy as f*ck!

Why do I develop Drupal websites for clients when I know they are going to contact me for any content update? I show them how to add, edit, delete, and I still get content update requests. I'm developing things right now, I don't have time to add your blog post, thanks!

Why would she contact me for a job that needs ASAP attention and not show up after I gave her my salary expectation, I bet she is expecting a $1-$2 salary expectation from me, crazy recruiters I wonder if there's a university for that shit,

Hi guys, another recruiter shit!!!!

So many websites with Twitter and contact emails JUST TO IGNORE THEM
Like, DUDE. I'M CONTACTING YOU BECAUSE SOMETHING DOESN'T WORK.
IT AFFECTS YOUR BUSINESS MORE THAN ME.

Hi guys I finally choose one sticker, I take him cause he looks creative. :D hope you enjoy i will contact other society to get stickers now.

Does anyone here knows (first hand) how long does it take the entire hiring process at Google in Europe?

From the first contact to the offer?

Thanks a lot

Talk about giving me a headache..
Mmh k, so i want to move my current domain to cloudflare.

Go to current provider, their site report a previous provider has the record but that provider says they have nothing left.

Great.
Contact current provider and they tell me to contact cloudflare, cloudflare tells me to resolve that issue with my previous provider....

Starting to feel like just dropping it and getting a new ...

The first time I got in contact with computers I apperantely sorted all of the Desktop Icons by color, since I couldn't read at the time.
The first thing I actually remember is playing this game: "Knightmare". Loved it 😍

Me: Updated the website boss.

Boss: You again forgot to put the email id in the contact section.

Me: Boss, just click on the mail icon.

Boss: Oh, you configured it.

develop an app.. can't login to the app.. try to look at the code to find the errors.. giveup... contact project manager and he said:
"oh... sorry i forgot to tell you that we doing server migration right now"

Studying is frustrating.
I'm in school for IT Engineering and my country decided, that universities have to be in half contact and half non-contact classes, so I have to attend bi-weekly. The other week I'm supposed to join online classes, where the whiteboard is recorded with a 2009 laptop's webcam and the audio is also internal, if even the freaking teacher manages to not forget to start the teams meeting.

LinkedIn is a really nice tool and website... and then there are people who contact you to become the only developer in a new startup and work for free in exchange of company shares, that at this moment are worthless. Wtf

Form plugin for WordPress on a seriously out of date install won't update until I update WordPress core. Fine, I update core and update the plugin and test the forms again. Form still isn't sending emails on submission. Look into forms settings. Oh look error messages, awesome!

Message: "There are 2 configuration errors"

OK, what are the errors where are the errors?

"There are two configuration errors."

Gee that's really fucking helpful, why even tell me you can see the errors if you aren't going to fucking tell me where the blasted things are. Spend 4 fucking hours trying to figure this out, checking "docs" wiki, support forums, nothing.

Finally decided to just trash the client's form plugin they were using and installed my reliable Gravity Forms.

P.S. if you are going to write code to find errors, and tell me about them, then you had better fucking tell me what the goddamned error is. There is no need to waste a developer's time trying to debug your shitty plugin because you couldn't be bothered to write a useful error handler.

Me and my partner are going to open the fetish contact zoo featuring me as its only habitant. This idea was concieved when I was referred to as an “impossible not to touch”.

If one of these fucking deformable object simulations would actually do contact and collision right, that'd be greeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeat.
😐

How am I supposed to grab the shit with a robot gripper, if shit doesn't do contact friction right? Gah!

In 2019, we still find a contact form with a required checkbox to register at the newsletter and sales solicitation.

So the testing team at my company are a stickler for rules and are somehow bureaucratic as hell. Since I'm new to the project I usually have to make direct contact with them. They are short of me getting in their face and screaming like a madman.

After hours of hitting my head on the keyboard if finally realized why my contact form wasn't submitting properly... I forgot to import jquery.

First contact with code was about 10 years ago, trying to customize my own server of the old Tibia (pre historic mmo game) with lua language

Got Aa job interview offer from a far location via my site contact page. I don't even know what to do or say. Social Anxiety sucks. I saw their sophisticated site. How do I not feel dwarfed? I don't know how to respond. Please help.

At the top of my current CV (the only one with current contact details on it) is the line "I am only looking for remote working roles" in bold. Why is it that over 90% of recruiters who contact me want to place me in a role where I would have to commute to an office, mostly over an hour's drive each way? Then they wonder how they get a bad reputation? FML!

Why do they keep sending me support related email when I clearly advised them to contact helpdesk support team directly.

Day 2 of being a free man.
Day 2 of old company contacting me about unnecessary things that they themselves said isn't really important.
Why contact me then? I don't want to have to start blocking numbers, but it might be happening if the trend keeps up.

So the project I'm working on atm and ranted about a couple of days ago... There is absolutely no documentation and the code is at least ten years old.

At least I can contact the old dev, but he's slower at replying, than reading the code through and figuring it out 😐

That feeling when your clients are very well aware that you're away on holiday but they still try to contact you to work on some last minute edits on a project.

Great Wordpress plugin for forms and Constant Contact integration - FS Contact Form.

Bloody ISO7816/EMVco contact is a huge pile of exceptions to the rules.
I'm still not sure if there are any rules at all. Maybe it's just exceptions.

I will become the famous violent psychopath if I get to know where those guys live that invented such crap.