- Sir, you must put away your laptop before the flight takes off.
- Is a tablet okay?
- Yes
- *Uncouples keyboard from Surface*
- ಠ_ಠ
- (⌐■_■)

Writing some code on a flight

"ARE YOU HACKING?!?!"
"Ugh... Well yeah but not in the way you're thinking"
"Omg I'm getting a flight attendant"

Needless to say I'm still en route because the flight attendant realized that I'm not Mr Robot, nor do I have ZeroCool scribbled on my laptop anywhere.

Don't ever try writing code on a long flight. People LOSE THEIR SHIT.

If Operating Systems Ran The Airlines

UNIX Airways
Everyone brings one piece of the plane along when they come to the airport. They all go out on the runway and put the plane together piece by piece, arguing non-stop about what kind of plane they are supposed to be building.

Air DOS

Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then they jump on and let the plane coast until it hits the ground again. Then they push again, jump on again, and so on ...

Mac Airlines

All the stewards, captains, baggage handlers, and ticket agents look and act exactly the same. Every time you ask questions about details, you are gently but firmly told that you don't need to know, don't want to know, and everything will be done for you without your ever having to know, so just shut up.

Windows Air

The terminal is pretty and colorful, with friendly stewards, easy baggage check and boarding, and a smooth take-off. After about 10 minutes in the air, the plane explodes with no warning whatsoever.

Windows NT Air

Just like Windows Air, but costs more, uses much bigger planes, and takes out all the other aircraft within a 40-mile radius when it explodes.

Linux Air

Disgruntled employees of all the other OS airlines decide to start their own airline. They build the planes, ticket counters, and pave the runways themselves. They charge a small fee to cover the cost of printing the ticket, but you can also download and print the ticket yourself. When you board the plane, you are given a seat, four bolts, a wrench and a copy of the Seat-HOWTO.html. Once settled, the fully adjustable seat is very comfortable, the plane leaves and arrives on time without a single problem, the in-flight meal is wonderful. You try to tell customers of the other airlines about the great trip, but all they can say is, "You had to do what with the seat?"

An incident which made a Security Researcher cry
--------------------------------------------------------
I was working on my laptop finishing up my code while waiting for the flight which was late . Meanwhile two guys (I'm gonna call them Fellas) in black suit and shades came to me

Fella : Sir you have to come with us .
Me : *goes along with them*
Fella : Sir please proceed *points towards the door . The room has a round table with some guys discussing something *
Fella 1 : Your passport please
Me : *Hands over the passport*
Fella 1 : Where are you traveling to sir?
Me : India
Fella 1 : Put your laptop in the desk sir.
Me : Sure thing
Fella 2 : What were you doing there? *Taps the power button*
Me : Just finishing up my work .
Fella 1 : Or hacking our systems?
Me : Seriously?
Fella 2 : The password please .
Me : Here you go
*5 minutes have passed and​ he still can't figure out how to use the machine*
Fella 2 : Which Windows is this?
Me : It's Linux
Fella 1 : So you are a hacker .
Me : Nope
Fella 1 : You are using Linux
Me : Does it matters?
Fella 1 : Where do you work?
Me : *I won't mention here but I told him*
Fella 2 : So what do you do there?
Me : I'm a Security Researcher
Fella 1 : What's your work?
Me : I find security holes in their systems .
Fella 1 : That means you are a hacker .
Me : Not at all .
Fella 2 : But they do the same and they use Linux .
Me : You can call me one .
*After 15 minutes of doo-laa-baa-dee-doo-ra-ba-doo amongst them I dunno what they were talking , they shutdown the computer and handed over it to me*
Fella 2 - So you are somewhat like a hacker .
Me - *A bit frustrated* Yes.

##And now the glorious question appeared like an angel from river ##

Can you hack Facebook?
Me - 😭😭😭

“Any application that can be written in JavaScript, will eventually be written in JavaScript.” — Jeff Atwood

Fast-forward 20 years, a plane crashes, they find and open the black box and in the flight logs they can see the cause clearly: ”undefined is not a function”.

!dev

Knocked over a beer bottle with my hand and caught it mid-flight.

Felt like a fucking ninja.

No clue why I'm sharing this but goddamn that was good.

A Geologist and an engineer are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The Geologist leans over to the Engineer and asks if he would like to play a fun game. The Engineer just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The Geologist persists and explains that the game is real easy and a lotta fun. He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5. Then you ask me a question, and if I don't know the answer, I'll pay you $5." Again, the Engineer politely declines and tries to get to sleep. The Geologist now somewhat agitated, says, "OK, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I'll pay you $50!"

This catches the Engineer's attention, and he sees no end to this torment unless he plays, so he agrees to the game. The Geologist asks the first question. "What's the distance from the Earth to the moon?"

The Engineer doesn't say a word, but reaches into his wallet, pulls out a five dollar bill and hands it to the Geologist.

Now, it's the Engineer's turn. He asks the Geologist, "What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down on four?" The Geologist looks up at him with a puzzled look. He takes out his laptop computer and searches all of his references. He taps into the Airphone with his modem and searches the net and the Library of Congress. Frustrated, he sends e-mail to his co-workers -- all to no avail.

After about an hour, he wakes the Engineer and hands him $50. The Engineer politely takes the $50 and turns away to try to get back to sleep.

The Geologist is more than a little miffed, shakes the Engineer and asks, "Well, so what's the answer?"

Without a word, the Engineer reaches into his wallet, hands the Geologist $5, and turns away to get back to sleep.

Servers running with no issues for the last 3 years, goes down 30min before boarding a 14 hour flight

"We don't need that network profile for this interface anymore."

*Removes*

*40+ virtual machines lose network connectivity*

"Huh. That shouldn't have happened...Well, I gotta catch my flight. Machoog, you got this?"

*Panic!*

Trying to book flight tickets on a website and I get a JSON object -_-

During the first rocket fly to the moon, they developed a calculator for the rocket scientists to calculate the flight.

Today's smartphones have the power to do the calculations for dozens of rockets at once, and what do I do with it?
I PLAY ANGRY BIRDS

I'm currently on my way to Japan on vacation.
This is how it went so far:
😁 - Arriving at airport early and excited
🤔 - Find out our flight is delayed. Oh well it might now be by a lot
😥 - Find out that it's 2 hours delayed and we will miss our next flight
😤 - Arrive at Frankfurt airport, and stands in line for 2 hours to the service desk
😡 - Arrive at service desk to get told that we have to go to a special service desk to get rebooked
🤬 - Get a ticket with our number in the queue. 125 people in front of us.
😴 - 4 and a half hour later, get get informed we will need to stay at a hotel for the night, and that we'll be flying at 6 pm the next day
😑 - Get to hotel and crashes (this is by 1 am now)
🤬 - Wakes up 6 hours later because we have a room right next to a construction site

Pro tips for Lufthansa and the imbeciles in their management and staff:
1. Inform people. You fucking knew the flight was this delayed, and you could actually have given people a choice at the beginning of their travel.
Now you had to put 100+ people in a hotel.

2. Bring food to people. Spending so much time in an airport leaves people very hungry. (Pssst, chocolate, candy and French potatoes are NOT food)

All in all, just fuck Lufthansa and their handling of this situation.

Fucking great start to the vacation. I'm already more exhausted than if I just went to work...

Windows 10 is asking me if I want to put my 5-8kg desktop computer in flight mode.
I'm now picturing my self looking for a power socket needing 650w in a airplane

So turns out the flight sim I'm doing time in at the moment is running XP. Yes, it is internet connected. Help

just wanted to watch a movie on a flight, then this happened 🤦‍♂️

Flight assistant: "oh no, not again. I will reboot it for you."

Well, this in flight system is based on Android.

Spotted on a Dreamliner.

Yesterday in the flight I was travelling announcement: passengers carrying Samsung galaxy note 7 must switch off at all times and must not charge their phones!!

A Geologist and a developer are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The Geologist leans over to the developer and asks if he would like to play a fun game. The Developer just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The Geologist persists and explains that the game is real easy and a lotta fun. He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5. Then you ask me a question, and if I don't know the answer, I'll pay you $5." Again, the Developer politely declines and tries to get to sleep. The Geologist now somewhat agitated, says, "OK, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I'll pay you $50!"

This catches the Developer's attention, and he sees no end to this torment unless he plays, so he agrees to the game. The Geologist asks the first question. "What's the distance from the Earth to the moon?"

The Developer doesn't say a word, but reaches into his wallet, pulls out a five dollar bill and hands it to the Geologist.

Now, it's the developer's turn. He asks the Geologist, "What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down on four?" The Geologist looks up at him with a puzzled look. He takes out his laptop computer and searches all of his references. He taps into the Airphone with his modem and searches the net and the Library of Congress. Frustrated, he sends e-mail to his co-workers -- all to no avail.

After about an hour, he wakes the Engineer and hands him $50. The developer politely takes the $50 and turns away to try to get back to sleep.

The Geologist is more than a little miffed, shakes the developer and asks, "Well, so what's the answer?"

Without a word, the developer reaches into his wallet, hands the Geologist $5, and turns away to get back to sleep.

Office manager sending a mail that all spaces now only have "sustainable vegan leather" furniture, "to carry responsibility for the planet and commit to a greener company image".

You mean you bought uncomfortable plastic chairs.

Vegan leather is just fucking plastic.

Not all plastics are bad, but in this case it's a very toxic plastic, a PVC softened with phtalates and stabilized with cadmium stearate, produced cheaply in a country with no regards for public health or the environment.

It's about as sustainable as munching down a vegan quinoa avocado salad in a private jet on a transatlantic flight.

There are moments where I'm glad that I'm still working from home, because I would have planted that ugly fucking desk chair straight into the equally ridiculous power-slurping hipster "sustainable vertical herb garden" with its 500 watt growlight bulbs.

Devvin' on airport wifi 🤗 killing time

Typical TSA (Airport Security)

Security: Please put all of your handheld objects and your outer clothes in this basket.
Me: (puts my bag, in flight luggage, and takes out laptop, bluetooth speaker, bluetooth mouse, bluetooth keyboard, tablet, android phone, dongle bag, and windows phone)
S: (stares at me as if I am a rich kid)
M: May I go through?
S: (nods)
M: (smirks, and goes through metal detector)
BeepBeepBeep!
M: (oh shit.)
Scanning Officer: Raise your hand!
M: Mmmhmm
S: (Hovers the detection stick around my body, but it doesn't ring, tells me to pass through the detector again. Still rings. Super confused. Asks me to do this 2-3 times more. Still same.)
M: Aha! I have my bluetooth earphones here! Sorry!
S: (stares at me, as if he is saying what a f****** weirdo)
My stuff comes out. I put my devices in the bag. The scanning officer stares at me.
M: (smirks)

To be continued....

Saw a display getting a reboot while waiting for my flight today

I found my people. We're going to start late night drunken security certification studying. Germany is fucking awesome. I haven't had anything to rant about since my flight here.

Also, celebration: my terrible boss declined the job offer from the company that bought us out. Life fucking rocks

I had a 6 hour flight home so thought I would do some coding. We take off, get to cruising altitude, I get my laptop out and boom windows update. It's like they know the most inconvenient time possible FML

My most ridiculous meeting was a meeting that I couldn't attend.

When I was working as a freelancer my companies CEO and me were invited by a client from another country (6 hours flight & hotel).
The meeting was scheduled for the day after our arrival.

After breakfast the CEO told me he would pick me up at the hotel lobby at 2pm. I waited for some hours, but he didn't come.
Later that day he told me that he met with the client already at 10am.

I am sure he told me the wrong time, because he was afraid that the client would try to headhunt me.

I was nights out drinking yesterday. Today I discovered that I've booked a flight and a hotel for Lisbon. I don't remember doing that. 😆

Well... it's non refundable, so vacation it is.

What you see in that screenshot, that was earned.

I'm on the plane and I want an hour of free Gogo (read: crappy) WiFi on my laptop (so I can push the code I'm probably the most proud of, more on that another time). The problem is that the free T-Mobile WiFi is apparently only available on mobile.

So after trying to just use responsive mode, and that still (almost obviously) not working. I realize it's time to bring in the big guns: A User Agent switcher. Small catch: I don't have an add-on for FF that can do that.

So on my phone I find an add-on that can and download the file. To send it to my computer, I initially thought to go through KDEConnect, but Gogo's network also isolates each system, so that doesn't work. So I try to send it over Bluetooth, except I can't. Why? Because Android's Bluetooth share "doesn't support" the .xpi extension, so I dump it in a zip (in retrospect, I should have just renamed it), and now I can share.

After a few tries, I successfully get the file over, extract the zip, and install the extension. Whew! Now I open up Gogo's page and proceed to try again, but this time I change the user-agent. Doesn't work... Ah! Cookies! I delete the cookies for Gogo (I had a cookie editor add-on already), but I had to try a few times because Gogo's scripts keep trying to, but I got it in the end.

Finally that stupid error saying it's for phones only went away, and I could write this rant for you.

Fuck Uber!

I requested an Uber to take me Chicago Midway Airport.

They driver takes me to a different airport over an hour away! I nearly missed my flight because he didn't follow directions. To add insult to a shitty situation he charged me an extra $40 for his mistake.

This morning I requested a refund and noted the driver took a long route. They had the nerve to reply and blame it on me! Claiming the drop-off location was not the location original specified. Mother fuckers I have a screen shot!

I am astounded that they would stoop to such low levels as to shift the blame to me. I suppose they were betting I didn't have a screen shot.

Well, time to try lift!

On my way to Taiwan, just 14 more hours of flight.. kill me! But hey at least I got WiFi

Feel like a god!

I've made an API service that returns a list of countries based on a temperature range that they will have within the next 10 days for spur of the moment holidays.

It even finds you the cheapest possible flight ticket from your location to it.

So many nights were spent raging since I had never touched node js until 9 weeks ago and I have other huge pieces of work on the burner.

Once it's finished and works properly, how does one market such a service?

Have a safe flight!

This morning in the office:

- bumblebee grounded
- diagnosed low fuel level
- refueled bumblebee with sugar water
- system check pass, airworthiness restored
- bumblebee asked tower for take-off
- tower opened flight window
- super-clean take-off
- bumblebee left control area

:-)

I iust won a fully paid ticket with flight and accommodation to a machine learning research conference later this summer! Yaay!

You were supposed to tell me my flight status...🙄😑😔

Someone mentioned Holy C in another thread and I automatically knew they were referencing the language, based on C, and developed by Terry A Davis from Temple OS and Schizophrenic fame.

I legit felt sad for the man, he was obviously a very talented and smart programmer. You removed all the racial slurs, crazy dialogues and biblical stuff that was caused by his mental illness and you were left with a very brilliant and dedicated programmer.

While Hurd (kernel meant to replace Linux) will fucking never see the light of day after years in the making, Terry was able to generate: his own compiler for his own programming language, kernel, drivers, desktop environment, filesystem TODO by himself. I mean, fuck me dude, he even included games of his own design into the damned thing, using very advanced concepts that were present in flight simulators or doom like fps.

It just bothers me so much, the dude would have probably done amazing non-religious things if it were not for his illness.

If you like reading about this sort of thing, check him out, there are a couple of youtube videos by him. Don't be put off by the shit that he spews in some videos, remember, he was saying shit like that out of a very real mental illness.

Oh, and fuck Hurd

My flight to Frankfurt leaves at what time? Ah, OK, I think...

2018 was a dumpster fuck for me. I was looking for 2019.

Oh boy, I was wrong.

I had a flight booked for 3rd Jan. I was supposed to go to Delhi, back to my job.

On 2nd Jan evening, I got a high fever. 103 F and my heartbeat were around 140. My brother took me to Hospital and after the doctor checked me.

There were no other symptoms. Only high fever. The doctor told me to do some blood test and give me a dose of Antibiotic.

Next day all the result came back negative. Doctor give me 3 days of antibiotic course and told eat light.

After 3 days of getting the 4g antibiotic in my body, Nothing changed. The fever was there and no symptoms.

on the 3rd day, the doctor increases the course to 2 days and told me to get more blood test. I also had to get 4D sonography and Heart ECG and its sonography.

on the 5th day, nothing changed. I still had a high fever. All the blood test were negative.

On the 6th day, I was admitted to the hospital and my medicine was changed to high does of broad-spectrum antibiotics and lots of new blood test.

There were taking blood from one hand and giving antibiotics to another.

After the broad-spectrum antibiotics, my fever went down to normal but all the 17 blood test I did came completely negative.

On the 8th day, we went to an infection specialist. He checked all the report and ask us to do a very details sonography. After all those things he said it most likely staphylococcus infection.

So here I am, making a chart of my temperature every 2 hours and taking two tablets every day.

This last 10 was very hard. There was a point where I was thinking "this is it. I am gonna die".

I am still waiting for a very detailed blood report which takes 5 days to create. I will get it after 2 days.

So after lots of medicine and over 15+ reports, Here I am working from home.

What a wonderful start of 2019.

When your flight gets delayed but there aren't enough memes on devRant...

On an international flight and the seat back in front of me just crashed and rebooted.

I think the worst work culture you can experience is nepotism and corruption in hierarchy. What do I mean? Well, this happened (and I think is still happening) in my last job. It was a huge logistic/delivery company. I was an intern, working as assistant developer of the only developer of the site. There was also a guy that was the technician, his assistant, a DBA and that's it.

Well, my partner and I were working on a system that managed almost all the operations of the company in this city.

Well, I supplied the dev two weeks when he was on vacation. I knew almost all the system. what happened? the manager from other city came with another Dev, and I'm not saying that I was an expert or something like that, but that dev from the other city was an incompetent. He couldn't even make a small GUI change without messing it all...

Guess what? The company paid him weekly round tickets to come and go from his city to ours (two hours of flight).

I was too disappointed I started searching another job. A week after getting my degree, I left my job and started in the one I am now. Before leaving, I asked my boss if there was a realistic chance to grow up. He answered no. To be honest, that didn't surprised me :/

The thing that makes me angry about this is that a lot of companies give chances to people that come from other cities, even if they don't know anything >:v

Oh, I almost forgot it: The last five months I was working there, they quit our office and send us to trailer-offices :/

Any country with very vague/non existing laws on flying drones? I want to test my semi-autonomous flight system for midrange delivery and in Germany you can only fly with visual contact.

I got fucking scammed.
Too bad that I just realized it.
As most of you know, I am in Cappadocia atm. We had a balloon flight. Yada yada yada.
Then I took a green tour that was provided from an travel agency that was a Partner of the hotel I am in.
[Skip]
The guide brought us to a stone seller. At the jewellry store, we were told that they have a special kind of gem. It gets mined in Mugla(Turkey).
Thus we thought that the stones they sell are mined natural gems called Zultanit.
Oh boy were we fucking wrong.
The zultanit gems are able to change their color depending on the light it receives. We were all fascinated at the demonstration. They told us that it is the second Turkish gem. First comes Turquoise.
I bough a zultanit bracelet for myself. And a zultanit ring for my mum.
It took me about 635 Lira which is about 95 Euro.

I was like damn. They are so damn valuable. It maked sense to me, because it was changing its colors at differentt areas.

Now guess what...
I went onto the internet and checked reviews about that shop. They were mostly saying that these are not real, but lab created gems. I was deeply shocked.
I checked the "certificate" that I got from them. It matched. My gems are lab created and not mined as they told to us tourists ffs.

I am crying internally.
How could I be that dumb to believe that?

Guys, never buy anything they tell you. Check everything to its detail.

The "zultanite" is a real gem. They even have their own trademark, but we were sold a "zultanit (lbrt)".
They did not show the certificate before buying it.

I kinda hate my life right now.

I hate my job: I've been working as a flutter developer for a month and a half (even though I was hired to do backend) and I discovered I don't like frontend, it doesn't give me enough challenges. Every once in a while I have to do something complicated and have fun working, but most of the time it's just boring layout shit.

I can't do any side-projects, everything bores me. I want to get into really low level programming so bad but the steep learning curve makes me lazy.

I don't feel like I'm doing enough. I'm learning quite a bit about flutter, but I don't want to work with that, I hate it, so I feel like I'm just wasting my time. I'd like to work on something complicated and meaningful, like developing flight systems for rockets or whatever, but there's sooo much road ahead of me I just feel like I'm never gonna make it, plus I have to be very smart to do that and I'm starting to think I'm not as smart as I thought I was. I've been programming for almost 10 years now, but I can already see my college friends getting practically on my level in 2-3 years. I can't let that happen and this thought is making me stressed and burning me out. Programming is literally the only thing I'm good at (or at least I think I am), if I don't have that I don't have anything, because I suck at everything else (I'm not exaggerating, I wish I was though).

I can't see friends because of the corona. I've met with friends about 7 times in a year and I havent been with a girl god knows since when. Meanwhile, practically everyone I know is partying, having fun, going to the beach and I'm here, at home, typing this fucking rant and feeling sorry for myself.

I also wanto to get fit but every time I try to do so something happens and I have to wait 2 months in order to start again.

There isn't anyone I can trust enough to share some feelings and thoughts I have and this is eating me up.

I am unhappy and have been like this for a while now. Every once in a while I smile, yes, but most of my day is endless boredom either because of work or the lack of it. I just want to go back to normal, I don't want to think about my future, I want someone to talk to, I want to be able to cry.

I hate this.

Worst experience was my first job after study. They told me at the interview that the job has very low travel activity... "we are doing most of the projects in-house...just traveling to the customer now and then for kick offs or when the software has to be trained"

A half year later I had to travel every fucking week to the customer. Fixing shitty code from a freelancer who never worked in a team, in a language I've never used before (they told me the first day at the customer). Don't get me wrong, I love learning new stuff but this project and architecture was a totally fucked up mess. Flew every monday to the customer (had to get up at 4am monday morning to get the flight) and friday back. Quit the job after living 3 months from a fucking suitcase.

I have this amazing idea, said John
I ask John about this amazing idea.

John goes on to say that it will change the world and solve world hunger.

I ask him again, what's your idea?
John says my idea is to 'solve world hunger'! AMAZING RIGHT?

now now John, so you're gonna do it like (provide a few solutions)..
John says yeah that was exactly what my idea was (ah. Fuck you)

So John now is under the delusion that he can solve world hunger and the steps to do it came from his own ostrich-brained imagination...

Tiny fuck doesn't even realize the fact that he plagiarized.

Now we look into the future where I ask John honestly that he should come up with his own idea to solve world hunger and not use mine.

JOHN GETS ANGRY
John asks 'do you actually think that was your idea? We were brainstorming man, I told you we had to solve world hunger and only because of my voice did I spark that idea in you, I created that idea man'

So, well since he's plagiarized so much I told him that I had this plan to perform a hunger strike in the grand Canyon to get some attention..

Fidgety little bitch found another idea to steal and he was like good idea!! I'm booking my flight to the Grand Canyon now!

What bout me I ask? He says man take some rest let me face the pressure (and the glory apparently)

Well, John did not return.
Poor stupid John did not realize that I had been joking and got his little ass fired under the direct sun in the grand canyon

Moral of the story :
I WILL DESTROY YOUR HOMES AND YOUR LIVES PLAGIARISTS, I WILL EXTERMINATE YOU *cough**cough*
Damn that Sulphur hexafluoride actually worked!

The only in-flight entertainment I need

This month is going pretty well so far..

New job: ☑️
Get out of FinTech: ☑️
New place: ☑️
Get rid of car #1: ☑️
Get rid of car #2: ☑️
Pay a shit lot of taxes: ☑️
Still have some money to on the side: ☑️
Book flight&car: ⬜️
Register in new country: ⬜️

And still 2 weeks to go.
Holidays are coming though..

I actually did a sticky label agile board for this 😄

It was a long flight but he just flapped right along! Good job my guy! Time to relax on the beach and enjoy the water!

Argh,

Today - you son of a bitch.

It all started with a 2 hour flight out of town for business, and I mean started as in I needed to be at the airport at 4:30am!

Despite 2 coffee's to get me out of bed I proceeded to indulge myself in the magic juice, 3 cups later and it felt like my heart belonged in a Grand Prix.

Now here is the sticky part, we where briefed that we would only be doing 2 site meetings and that was it.

Low and be hold it got worse, turns out that we would be pitching our product to 3 highly regarded CEO's, now bare in mind that my position on this trip is as the lead developer, and don't get me wrong I am well up to date on every aspect of the business, hence why they sent me.

So more coffee down the gullet, and eventually the conversation leads back to a project that I had developed to allow authorization of debit orders online, now usually I'm quite a well presented person in these types of situations, but you don't realize how quick this can change.

A quick jump to the geography of the location I was doing business. Johannesburg, South Africa - its as dry as hell, smoggy and at a very higher altitude "as in above sea level".

Now unfortunately none of the above factors where helping me much at all.

Now back to where I am being asked about my project, and never in my life have I tripped over my own words, I went completely blank, I'm surprised I didn't pass out to be honest.

Now despite the death stare and my colleague kicking me under the table, I am feeling pretty terrible, fortunately I had a kick ass team that was able to cover my ass!

Luckily I was able to recover ( 2 muffins and about 3 bottles of water later). We where able to salvage the meeting and it turned out pretty well, I regained my energy and we made it happen!

Must say the flight back was amazing! Almost empty and we all had a row of seats to ourselves, which resulted in some major comfort stretching!

Thanks for tolerating my essay, I'd love to hear if anyone has had anything of the sorts happen to them.

Wrote myself a flight stability controller for a drone I built - used an ultrasonic sensor for altitude so it should've maintained a constant altitude, but I had the throttle increments too high...
Hooked up the battery - off it fucked, hit the ceiling, bounced off a wall, and broke 2 props before I could grab it and yank the battery off.

Protip - if you're building a drone, tie it to a heavy fucking rock for your first flight test!

Here's wishing DevRant had an offline mode so I can read through rants on a long flight.

I hate white boarding sessions. They feel unnatural to me. I simply don't work well when put on the spot and I have 3 ogres staring at me waiting for me to fuck up in front of them. Fight or flight engages, the adrenaline rush, my mind freezes. Suddenly it's like I forget how to code at all and I'm expected to solve a problem at once, correctly the right time, or I'm out.

I can't work like that. I need time to process a problem on my own, with my coffee in my one hand and a pencil and scratch paper in the other, not with some demanding employer standing over my shoulder the whole time scrutinizing my every key stroke. I get things wrong the first time sometimes, and more often than not have to google things I can't recall spontaneously. But I always figure it out, test it, make sure it's right before putting it into use.

I've been through several "probationary" periods when first starting a job. They just tell you, they're giving you a month to see if you can handle the job. If not, sayonara. I don't see what's so hard about evaluating candidates in a real world scenario.

So many employers have totally unrealistic expectations.

Close all IDEs.

Then...

if (needs_music) {
open.production("fl_studio");
} else if (needs_engine_roar) {
open.game("fsx");
} else {
open.systemapp("Task Manager");
kill.all("processes");
computer.shutdown(5000);
}

Flight attendant: Is there a doctor onboard?
Dad: *nudging me* that should've been you
Me: Not now dad
Dad: Not asking for a Software Engineer are they?
Me:Dad, there's a medical emergency happening right now
Dad: Go see if "Deploying code to production" helps.

> wifi: on
> bluetooth: off
> me: turns off wifi
> ubuntu: *FLIGHT MODE ACTIVATED*
> scratchrecord4.mp3
> me: curious
> me: turns off flight mode
> ubuntu: turns on bluetooth
> dafuq.png

My last job before going freelance. It started as great startup, but as time passed and the company grew, it all went down the drain and turned into a pretty crappy culture.

Once one of the local "darling" startups, it's now widely known in the local community for low salaries and crazy employee churn.

Management sells this great "startup culture", but reality is wildly different. Not sure if the management believes in what the are selling, or if they know they are selling BS.

- The recurring motto of "Work smarter, not harder" is the biggest BS of them all. Recurring pressure to work unpaid overtime. Not overt, because that's illegal, but you face judgement if you don't comply, and you'll eventually see consequences like lack of raises, or being passed for promotions in favour of less competent people that are willing to comply.

- Expectation management is worse than non-existent. Worse, because they actually feed expectations they have no intention of delivering on. (I.e, career progression, salary bumps and so on)

- Management is (rightfully) proud of hiring talented people, but then treat almost everyone like they're stupid.

- Feedback is consistently ignored.

- Senior people leave. Replace them with cheap juniors. Promote the few juniors that stay for more than 12 months to middle-management positions and wonder where things went wrong.

- People who rock the boat about the bad culture or the shitty stunts that management occasionally pulls get pushed out.

- Get everyone working overtime for a week to setup a venue for a large event, abroad, while you have everyone in bunk rooms at the cheapest hostel you could find and you don't even cover all meal expenses. No staff hired to setup the venue, so this includes heavy lifting of all sorts. Fly them on the cheapest fares, ensuring nobody gets a direct flight and has a good few hours of layover. Fly them on the weekend, to make sure nobody is "wasting time" travelling during work hours. Then call this a team building.

This is a tech recruitment company that makes a big fuss about how tech recruitment is broken and toxic...
Also a company that wants to use ML and AI to match candidates to jobs and build a sophisticated product, and wanted a stronger "Engineering culture" not so long ago. Meanwhile:

- Engineering is shoved into the back seat. Major company and product decisions made without input from anyone on the engineering side of things, including the product roadmaps.

- Product lead is an inexperienced kid with zero tech background -> Promote him to also manage the developers as part of the product team while getting rid of your tech lead.

- Dev team is essentially seen by management as an assembly line for features. Dev salaries are now well below market average, and they wonder why it's hard to recruit good devs. (Again, this is a tech recruitment company)

console.log("flight cancelled");

being a first year IT student:

- help, I can't check-in to my flight
- my computer is slow, I heard you can fix it (still runs xp)
- can you fix the printer?

- my laptop is broken (error message pops up with the actual solution) and there was an error
- did you read it?
- did I read what?

Is this gonna get better anytime soon?

Some touchscreens onboard weren't working and the flight attendants did the ol turn off and on again.
Tux seems pretty happily stuffed with herring in the corner.

Getting out of this business. I had my first flying lesson yesterday. Luckily I held on to my breakfast during the flight... A couple hundred more hours behind the yoke, and I'll be uninstalling all my developer tools... Can't wait

Kuronbka's first flight has ended miserably, before even beginning. After a small breakdown because of wasted 7 hours, I made myself a reminder that I'm fucking stupid and it never changes

Desk helper: "Have a nice flight"

Me: "You too"

Fuck. I've been behind a screen for too long.

It was 1986. I'd just bought a computer because I wanted to make a cool flight sim like I saw a friend at school do by typing in a bunch of code from a magazine. I read a thick book on DOS/BASIC and another on Assembler. As I had no idea what Assembler could possibly be useful for in my life, I went the DOS/BASIC route and made some fun programs. Then it was Prolog followed by C and Smalltalk and then HTML and JavaScript. All by taking classes or reading books and then making something useful or teaching others.

So I flew to California Saturday to see my daughter. It was fun, and I was glad to see her.

Now, when I bought my tickets, I got a flight that landed at 11:30pm, allowing me to sleep on the plane a bit, drive home, sleep more, and then wake up at 6am for work.

Well, that went out the window. Fuck you Southwest, Fuck you.

(I'm currently on layover in Phoenix)

Not exactly a dev related rant but housing contract expired on 10th, booked a hotel for 2 days as flight to Bangkok on 12th.
I reach there to find it's been cancelled god knows why and didn't think it'd be nice to fuckin mail me about it.
Ended up in a shared room thing coz outside is -8c. Last time I ate was Friday night (today is Sunday evening) last time I had water was yesterday noon, and I've slept without a break for 27 hours.
Wifi they provided doesn't work btw so thank you netgear-ap for your unprotected WiFi.
Flight in 17 hours now. I can bear with it. Wish me luck~

!rant

Regional flight Sweden: "Passengers are not allowed to have a Samsung Galaxy Note 7 in their checked in luggage. If so, please inform the cabin crew"

Should one laugh or fear?

Just overheard a conversation between 2 pilots while waiting to board a flight at an airport about some airplane related software. The guy talking seemed very proud (read egotistical) about his tech knowledge. It went something like... "Well you see it's open source so they are worried someone might have put a backdoor in it somewhere".

That's the point of open source you dumbass you actually have the ability to check 🤦‍♂️

Forgot my laptop charger in the hotel, flight leaves in 10 minutes, and my computer is at 2% battery life.

I just need to build this code and push! Will the code be pushed in time? Stay tuned to find out!!

... nah jk it just died. 😧

Haveing Arch Linux on my old laptop. Before Arch it was slow. Now I have OS so minimalistic that there's almost nothing after booting.
I even have to start GUI manualy beacouse I don't need it always.
Almost non of my friends can use it so my data is safe here (I like privacy).
But for downside I imagine useing vim in text envirement during flight. Non tech guys can assume that useing vim is plane hijacking.

When you get so desperate for your new ThinkPad that you know its flight number...

Wow, fuck this ISP.

Someone reminded me of the due date last Monday and I said I paid already but they disconnected anyway. I reported it so many times and talked to two agents who said they will transfer my concern to the technical department. It's Wednesday evening and I got nothing. I tried calling them again where I listened to their retarded jingles, robotic assistance, and advertisements. I spent another five minutes losing brain cells with more "waiting" jingle music until it emptied my prepaid load. I talked to NOBODY.

I've been using a pocket wifi ever since. Died in Minecraft because I walked into a chunk where stones should be but hasn't loaded yet because of this shitty shitty internet. I plan to work from home tomorrow after this fever fuck days but how the fuck is that even gonna happen?

Not to mention the fucking airline company who kept reminding me to pay for my flight booking long after I paid for it. How hard is it to check your database if someone has already paid instead of spamming them with the anxiety that they haven't paid for their shit yet? How lazy are the fucking developers around here? Fuck all of you.

I hate the services in this country.

It was 1987. I was 13. My first dev project started with a $1,300 IBM PC XT clone I bought from a relative who was a “dealer” of PCs for some company. It took all the savings I had from birthday money and mowing lawns for several summers at $5 a pop.

My mom wanted to encourage me to learn it more in depth, and she also wanted to know more for her job as a librarian, so she bought us a bunch of books about DOS, BASIC, and Assembler.

I first got familiar with DOS and then dove into Assembler without realizing what it really was (and how much easier BASIC would be). After hours and hours of typing in what, to me, then, was complete gibberish, I grabbed the BASIC book to see what it had to offer.

I never went back to the Assembler book.

A kid at school had given me a BASIC program he had typed in from a magazine. It was a flight simulator of sorts but with a helicopter, IIRC. I loaded up that bad boy and got to hacking. I didn’t get much done with it but I did build a few other menu navigation programs to explore the language more.

That led to PROLOG, C, PASCAL, Visual Basic, Perl, ASP, ColdFusion, and now PHP.

In the land of Kangaroos you can claim education expenses directly related to your profession on your tax return. I am developing a plug-in for X-Plane. Do you guys think I can claim costs of my flying school as "education to better understand flight characteristics so that my plug-in works better"?

For anyone who's interested, I'm building a six pack using round LCD displays and an Arduino

Just wanted to share with you something that happened today.

So I was looking to buy a flight ticket from Austin to Chicago. I looked at the price and it was about 360$ so I thought I will just fly to Milwaukee and use the train to Chicago. I found a flight to Milwaukee for 140$ with 1 stop at Chicago. 😂😂😂

Apparently I am the only one studying Python in cathay pacific business class lounge. lol

everyone stares at me as if "is that a script kiddy??" lol

so sleepy.... *yawning intensifies*

Vendor: this innovative flight management system will completely change the way private aircraft operates, using our proprietary V8 on chip scrpting engine [...]
Me:

Prior to a tech conference in Las Vegas, the department manager held pre-meetings (yes, more than one)
with the developers to outline their expected behavior (yes, there was an outline in Word). Since
they would be representing the company, professionalism would be expected at all times, not just
during the conference. He knew he couldn’t forbid gambling and drinking, but any unruly behavior
that could reflect badly on the company would be dealt with severe disciplinary action up to and
including termination. He wrote up very detailed itinerary, what track each developer was
expected to attend, meal times (yes, what time to get up for breakfast, meet for lunch, and time
to eat at night). First day was fine, casinos are kinda crazy so having an itinerary wasn’t the
worst idea and no one got lost. Days following however, got interesting. After the first evening
meal, everyone hit the casino as expected (too much drinking, etc..normal single twenty-something
guys do) and the manager especially had a good time.
Next, and following days, the manager could not be found in any of the ‘required’ technical tracks.
Not that they cared that much, but couple of devs decided to check out the casino, and sure enough,
there he was at one of the tables, drunk, and being very loud around at 10 in the morning.
Again, nobody cared much, manager wasn’t very tech savy, and so attending a track on C #threading
would be lost on him. It was more of ‘do as I say, not as I do’ kind of thing.
The manager kept to the itinerary, he met everyone at breakfast, lunch, and dinner, etc, but the
‘WTF’s didn’t get good until the manager was bragging about how wonderful the conference was, how
much he was learning and couldn’t wait to get back and start implementing everything he was learning.
It was such a joke, the guys would bait him on tracks they know he didn’t attend and an amazing amount
of BS could not be believed.
On the last day of the conference several decided to follow him after breakfast to see where he went
and watched him go into a technical track, just to walk back out and straight to the casino floor.
Again, around 10, he was drunk, not quite as loud until he threw up in a trash can (they said it was quite a scene).
He left to go back his room, which they suspected he took a nap before meeting everyone for lunch.
After that, they gathered his daily itinerary was:
- Get up for breakfast
- walk around and make sure it looked like he was heading to a track
- head to the casino
- take a nap
- eat lunch
- walk around some more
- head to the casino
- take a nap
- eat dinner
- head to the casino
- wash-rinse-repeat
Last day caught up with him. After about week of drinking, staying up late, etc, his body (he’s in his mid 50’s, 350lbs+, so imagine)
kinda’ gave up. Could barely walk 50 feet without needing to sit down, and the flight back was worse for everyone,
throwing up occasionally, moaning, you get the idea.
On the following Monday with the VP if IT, everyone was discussing the conference, what they learned,
what they liked, etc, the manager also bragged, yes bragged, on how tired he was because of how much
he learned and the reason why he probably caught the flu (he couldn’t hide how sick he was on the flight)
saying “When you’re in the learning zone, you lose track of time and then you are so exhausted, your
immune system is susceptible to all kinds of things.” . VP was so impressed by his dedication and
fighting through the exhaustion for the good of the company, he gave him the rest of the day off.
Other devs? No, they had to go back to work.

Wanted to move to London out of curiosity/adventure. Started doing interviews online and all companies wanted a stage 2/3 in person but that would've been a pretty expensive flight just to go on a short interview, especially with my budget back then.

The guys at my current company were pretty cool and instead we did more video calls and coding tests, then they offered me the job without having to do the face to face.

Had a week to pack up and move here. Never had been in the UK before that. I arrived in the evening, slept at my temporary accommodation and went to work next morning. That's basically how I got here :)

So one of my employees flew to spain on friday with an Tinder date and forgot to book a flight back on Sunday. He arrived on wednesday.

Yeah so... I‘m an IT student and am supposed to have a certificate exam about software engineering RIGHT AT THIS VERY MOMENT!
The person from the certificate place arrived half an hour late due to a delay of her flight.
That sucks alot because many students have other exams just after this one.

I always go one hour early to exams so even if 2 trains are delayed I will be there in time.
I would expect said person to do the same.

It gets even worse. We sit there expecting to start the exam half an hour late and guess what:
The distributed exam is not the one we are meant to take......... FOR FUCKS SAKE why did I even come here?!?!

!dev

Fucking money problems..
Had 20k on the side before relocating..
Old country wanted 10k taxes, 10k left..

Flight, hotel etc 2k..

8k left..

Bought a cheap car, 5.5k left..

After the rental cars, 3k left..

Bank blocks card because of potential fraud, so I can’t pay the insurance and have to take another rental car..
2.5k left.
2.4k deposit so I can’t pay the insurance for 2k..

At least 0.4k left and first salary comes in, but since I’m new, I’m on emergency tax so I only got about 1.5k.. will get the taxes back later but for February I’m so fucking broke..

At least everything is paid now so I can start to safe from 0 again...

Fuuuccckkkk..

Totally worth it though..

#lifeIsSoMuchBetterOverHere,ImNeverGoingBack..

#iDontThinkCommasInHashtagsAreAllowedButIDontGiveAFuck!

So we had a guy who spend decade in automotive, flight simulation and stuff. C mostly. Lasted only a month of his probation period. Didn't seem to know about double pointers. Maybe coding standards in automotive even discourage them...

But made me wonder how to judge skills. - I tend do be on the cautious side, as I hadn't really understood inheritance and many basic things when I started. But luckily my first boss believed in me, saw me gnawing through (Well about my 'initiation' that'd be others stories to tell). Well, guy was hired as a 'senior', so they expected bit more. Dunno, still feel a bit strange about it, even if I ranted about his chattering before, coz he also had his heart in the right spot, but maybe it's for the best anyway...

But guess who's taking his place in our team! Drumroll.. Yes, Mr gitmaster is.

Everything hurts and it will be Monday again soon. Nothing I planned for the weekend happened. I feel sick from either eating too many chocolates or too many exercises that involve weights at the gym. Probably both. They cancelled each other out and decided, "Fuck this creature, what does it want? Go get the flu, you indecisive cunt."

I'm exhausted from all the frustration at work in the last two weeks. I just need a break but I can't. Just two more weeks and I'll get my vacation and yet I can't be bothered to even book the flight. Those creatures from the land of professionalism did it again. The issue I raised last Tuesday that they never responded to, they fixed it last Friday, 30 minutes after I left. Now I will attend a Monday morning standup looking like I held the deployment back because technically they fixed it last week but I wasn't there anymore.

I'm sure they wouldn't be that unreasonable and stupid but I hate the feeling that something is on my plate or the ball has been passed over to me right at the deadline. I finished that shit days earlier despite all the fuckery that keeps holding it back but that one, I can't do much about since it was an issue on their side. An issue they kept insisting was "fixed" but after every screenshot, it was proven not to be fixed at all.

I just hate being in the middle of all of this. I can cover my ass. It's not my fault and everyone knows that. But why the fuck are some people like this? Why are they so goddamn lazy that they have to drag the issue up to several days, not respond, and then sabotage someone else by fixing it when the person is already gone for the weekend? It's like you thrive in passing over shit to other people.

I think I need more physical activities to release the madness. Deadlift, bench press, squats and lunges with weights - all the Chad shit, they help clear out my mind a little bit but the longer I do them, the shorter their effects last. I cannot think about twisting someone's neck and hacking their joints apart when I can barely bend my knees to walk properly.

Assemble my own aerial drone with AI co-pilot flight asisstance (or simply just pre-defined failsafes and in-flight routines).

Flight got cancelled. :(

Call this exploitation, nativity or social hacking but whenever I wanna buy something online be it some stuff or flight tickets, I just casually search on google and other platforms and wait for a discount to come my way.

Have saved a few thousand bucks this way. Putting big brother to work.

My friend confused between truncate and append. He opened a file in w+ mode in python. So to solve the issue he called me at midnight disturbing my sleep. So now onwards before going to sleep I always put my phone on flight mode.

Ryanair having serious issues. Do you think it safe to flight with them? :D

Have you ever flown a plane? No? Well I need you to get in the lab today and test out these high level requirements, you should pick up on it pretty fast....

The lab looks like NASA flight control and has everything a cockpit has, sure I can just jump right on it and do my thing.

This should be fun 😅

I just want to get fucking home... This is the second flight canceled... NO I DONT WANT TO GET IN A FUCKING HOTEL AND FLY TOMORROW...

Excuse me sir your flight was canceled.... SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU FUCKING SLUT

DON'T EVER FLY WITH THOSE FUCKTARDS

Fuck MySQL Workbench!
I have spent 2 fucking days diagramming a 350 table database 3 times over because if it doesn't crash and ignore your saves it corrupts its own data and drops the hours of formatting you've done! Now I'm trying to print an ugly un-formatted piece of sh*t because I need to get on a flight to the meeting I need to present this at and it ignores all my default printer settings and wastes 40 A3 sheets of paper. Does Oracle even use the shit they are releasing? For the love of god if you can't maintain it for free fix your fucking bugs and I will buy a license but I cant keep working like this.

you know what was fun?
Back in 2012, I started developing an app for the windowsphone (7 back then) which was basically an offline backup navigation for pilots with a few extras likr weather data for pre flight planning.

It was so cool doing all this back then, because there weren't many wp devs out there.

Microsoft even sent me 6 different phones (straight from Redmond) to play with (and keep them).

Those were the days 😀😀

Delta flight spotting

"Oh, netbook is on low energy. Naaah, it should be enough for an hour."
- me, hours ago

One hour delay for the flight.

Suicide in front of the train.

Now I stand over two hours in the train and we cannot leave the train. All I want is finish my grot damn prototype...

We had a lab in middle school, 5th grade, I think, where they had a few Apple IIe computers.

I remember one day looking over at a smart friend's screen and he was playing a flight simulator. I'd never seen anything like it before. When I asked him how he did it, he showed me a computer magazine where all the code was published for it. He had typed the whole thing in and saved it to a floppy.

It was part of a turning point for me when I was deciding between social groups: wanting to be a dumb jock or wanting to be smart. Thanks to that kid's example, I chose being smart. It cost me dates with the hot girls later in high school when I should have been carrying a pager for all the teachers who needed me to fix their computers for them, but I made sure to cry all the way to the bank when I was eventually making six figures.

I put six round LCDs inside a 13x18 IKEA frame and turned it into a six pack for my home made flight simulator instead of buying the Saitek/Logitech one which would cost at least six times.

Could this be the best welcome home present after a long flight?
Sorry for the bad quality, too tired right now for a proper one

me.ask(“advice”);

I’m going to fly tomorrow and was wondering if I can bring my raspberry pi in my hand luggage. As known sometimes people in security checks are definitely not that awake and I don’t want my rPi in a garbage bin thinking it’s a bomb or something.

Otherwise I’ll just copy everything I need on a VM and go with it , but I wanted my sensors live ahah

Ok i should admit i came way early to the airport

HKG - ICN
CX412
Boarding time 0100
Premium economy

Lounge invitation per request

And i have only 4% battery left, see ya!

Nothing quite like doing development in business class.

"First Class Documentation"

What are you doing crashing on me Windows?

All I was doing was running a flight simulation, compiling a build, and doing a regex search over 6 directories. Try to open one little document and it all goes to hell.

Surely you can handle that Windows?

Apparently not.

I love it when my coworker removes my computer from my setup and replaces it with his own without asking, refuses to move and doesn't understand why I'm pissed. I love it even more how they get mad when I fuck with their stuff.

Finished exams, in 3 days i have a flight to my parents house to see them.
Before that, thought about comming to my grandma's home, which has a beach nearby so i can spend 1-2 days relaxing.
Came here. No one is home. I don't have keys either. I'm hungry too.
Fortunately the wifi signal is ok.
Sat in front of the door, and opened my laptop.
Time to start migrating my projects from duck to static typing and practising my ability to write python code with type annotations until someone comes home.

Missed the checkin timeframe for my flight by 10 minutes ... Next flight is tomorrow 🙄 fuuuu

I don't know if our QA is good enough. We were developing an app for both ios and android. I, an ios developer, told the QA guy that it will take long before uploading the app in the testflight (convert swift2 to swift3). After a week the app is now uploaded in the test flight and at the same time my partner, an android developer, uploaded the android version of the app in the play store beta. The QA guy started to raise bug issues about the android version. He wanted to fix the bugs immediately since our boss needed to upload it in the play store and appstore. The QA guy kept on complaining to my partner why the android version is buggy. Then he said something we, me and my partner, facepalm.

The QA guy said " You shouldn't convert the app to swift 3. The ios version is fine when converted why the android version is buggy. You need to revert it back to swift 2"

We sit there in silence, thinking if we pity the QA guy or laugh at him.

I need ideas for a 10 hour hackathon I'm about to have on this flight guys! What problem can be solved without the internet?

Fuck Airlines man !

I came 6hrs early to the airport as I had to check out from the hotel.
Then this ass airlines delays flight by 2hrs !
Luckily I have my laptop with me on this flight,sorted some work in the first 2 hrs, bt now I am fuckin done!

Aaaah ! Also the airport wifi is so shit,I can even do a google search properly!

A colleague of mine was wearing his Funcunit t-shirt on a plane yesterday. The flight attendant asked him about his "Fun Cunt" t-shirt.

What paradoxes taught me.

Perhaps each time a paradox is encountered in mathematics, there is a useful distinction or mathematical tool hiding in plain sight, one that hasn't be discovered or utilized. For cursory evidence I give you: division by zero, the speed of an arrow at any point in flight, and calculus.

Maybe this isn't true for some paradoxes, or even most, but as time goes on I suspect people will discover it is more true than they might have thought.

Undefined behavior and results aren't nonsense: They look to me like golden seams to be explored for possible utility when approached from uncommon angles with uncommon problems.

Started work at 05:00 to catch a flight, just finished work now (20:00)

Tomorrow morning i have to be up at 03:30 to catch a flight back, my boss has also booked me in with a all day meeting with our largest client tomorrow so won't be leaving the office until 18:00.

Atleast im going to the midnight viewing of Capt. America tomorrow (if I'm awake)

While waiting at the airport for my flight I’ve received no less than four emails from a competing airline. I think it’s time to check my location settings on the other airlines app.

I have always been interested in computers. when I was in second grade, I decided I was no good at electronic circuits, and decided I wanted to program instead. My dad told be to check out free basic, and I immediately downloaded FBIDE, and followed tutorial videos on YouTube. once I finished the videos, I started to write mad libs programs. I made various types of calculators, etc. and loved it, so later I learned a bit of VB. I messed with that a bit, but didn't like it too much, and started web developing. The moment I saw some JS code, it was like an instinctive second language to me. I learned js and started making some ugly, but cool interactive web pages. When computercraft came out for minecraft, I learned lua and got a deeper understanding of programming. Now, I am using node to build a personal-use IoT server and currently making a drone flight program using a raspberry pi

* vacation + flight mode

* being VERY clear thay each interaction with you will significantly prolong your delivery time, hence next time your estimates will be artificially increased to compensate for such disturbances [think like 2days to change a button color instead of 20 minutes]

*Developing new program for flight crew on a plane.
*Using 5 days to prepare a "test flight" to see if the program is working in real life conditions.
*Flight takes of on a 5 hour trip.
*Tablet does not work.

That moment when the flight attendant makes everyone stow laptops for no good reason

Good job southwest, -2 hours on my flight

I work at company that uses Drupal for everything. And i mean EVERYTHING. Our dumb CTO once even wanted us to join tender for flight data collection system... of course it would run on fucking drupal...

Yeah i can see its advantages but it has learning curve the shape of the snail shell and if you want it to do something new you either find module for it or drupal will start crying, shits itself and tell you to go fuck yourself.. also it is full of surprises to make your day as miserable as possible, like you send variable as $content['varname'] to user template and it returns as $user_profile['varname']['value']... and yes user template has $content array for content but why use it for storing content that i want to render.. it is used for other content to render... because in drupal content != content...

I started using laravel for my freelance projects and it took my less than 2 week to get up to speed and start working and is incredible fast to work in... You know.. its fun when you want to just add feature you just code that feature into your app.. and not spend 2 fucking years crawling through retarded preprocess functions...

Whenever i try to suggest we use other frameworks.. "Muh drupal has MODULES".. yeah because drupal is the only thing in universe that has modules.. When client has only need for simple site with simple template why use wordpress and have it done in 2 days when you can use drupal have 10 000 unnecessary DB queries that drupal does on every page load to load page title and make that site in a week.. or why use laravel for e-shop with specific functionality requested by client that would take 2 weeks to add in laravel when you can spend 2 months modifing uber-cart or drupal commerce modules only to hit some Drupal core surprise that wont allow for that feature to be implemented...

Motherfuckin flight got delayed two times. :(

I'm so fucking amped about Microsoft Flight Simulator 2020, I preordered the most expensive version because I want the Boeing 787 and the absolutely insane 40 handmade airports and sceneries.

I love coding on vacation. We sometimes take long flights like 5hrs an then another 5 hrs. I get so much done in flight without the distraction of phone calls or the internet (YouTube).

My dad got me an old windows 98 (Still relatively new) with flight sim. I downloaded limewire to download limewire pro. I was surprised I got viruses on my pc, had to ask his colleague to fix it. Good ol' times

Woah, heading to the “valley” in May for a business trip, meeting with two chip manufacturers... 8 hour flight

Flight mode,work calls

How I wish I could enable flight mode on my phone and still be in a position to get data access but no calls coming in.
Here my wish telcom companies.

!devRant (tis a rant but not a dev-rant)

My main man is mad! 2 hour flight delay and missing the connecting flight. Guess we'll have to stay in Atlanta!

!rant
I gotta say I really love the beauty of being able to merge math, code, and hardware all in a well tuned symphony to make something awesome. Building an LQR controller for a custom quadrotor flight controller and it is just so much fun!

You look through your apartment’s peephole and watch a man pitch backward out of sight and hear them crashing down a flight of stairs and wait for paramedics to arrive ONE NIGHT and your stupid lizard brain decides to amp you up when you want to sleep every night afterward.

How do you guys get sleep?

I bought tickets for a friend of mine to visit me. She cancelled. I purchased travel insurance from Expedia. I have to now cancel one flight through Expedia, the return through the airline, and file a separate claim to get the money back. I hope they don't want me to prove she's sick, since she isn't (she's just a terrible person and I knew she'd pull this shit).

I hate the entire way the airline industry works. This is bullshit.

I hate the entire airline booking system.

people familier with android (~~ broadcast reciever) , help me out.

I have two activities , main and second. from main , you can go to second if a broadcast is triggered. (eg if flight mode is on, you can go to second activity). I know how to make a reciever for this and the best case here should be that of a dynamic broadcast reciever.

But In the SecondActivity , i again want to implement a similer check, since anyone can turn the flight Mode on and off from the status bar.So if flight mode is on, certain layouts should be shown else not. again a reciever is required

My problem is : is static reciever a better choice, if yes then how can I interact with the reciever, like it should request changes only if either of the following activities are open and application is running..??

(And I don't know why daddy yankee's shaky shaky video is being played in the back of my head)

Flight Gear.

I had one heck of a time during my pre teen days flying airplanes and going to famous cities around the world in this cool flight simulator game. On a related memory, I think it was in 2008 or something, when Yahoo messenger was the popular thing, I sent a message to one of the main developer about how I can build planes and stuffs for the game. He responded and said something about C++ and some documentations.

This was way before I knew anything about programming. I found myself frustrated about not knowing or understanding any of the guides.

Then puberty happened.

I have a 5 hour layover until my next flight and all I want to do is code to kill time... the only problem is there is no reachable power outlet..

So as an avgeek(aviation geek) I open my secondary laptop and fly a bit with fsx(Microsoft flight simulator x).I also watch tons of airline trip reports on YouTube.I also play a game called SimplePlanes.I can create vehicles using various parts and test them in free flight and missions.

I was on a 3 hour flight back home, guy next to me ask what I'm working on, I say it's a personal project. Somehow we get on the topic of "I wanna make an app which shows inspirational quotes on the screen whenever someone turns on the screen".
Also, he wants to make it for the iPhone.
Shortly after, I told him the flight was giving me a headache and it would be better if I slept the rest of the flight.

Pomodoro app + load headphones + phone flight mode

There are literally hunderets, here are a few of them:
- making a movie you watch wearing vr devices, so everything is filmed with 360° cameras and you can walk around
- an app that helps musicians understand complicated rythms
- my online portfolio
- seting up my data derver
- autonomous flight (bigest problems are gov regulations)
- hologram screen

The manager that believed that sharing code was bad. We had a web and a windows client over the same db. No code shared. He'd rather duplicate the code and maintenance than share it. And the BL should be put in stored procedures, 'cause that's so easy to change in-flight...

Since day 0, I have been fond of computers. One of my first plush was called "DataDog" and looked like a CRT screen with dog ears around. According to my mum I was "addicted" to it.

At year 2, my dad was arranging some music on some software while I was watching him on his lap. Quick jump to the present: nowadays and since 10 years I run my own home studio with three guitars, two keyboards, one bass, three monitors, a microphone, an amp and a cabinet... coincidence? I think not!

Fast forward 5 years later (so I'm 6-7 years old), and I was playing with the legendary pinball game on Win95, as well as Flight Simulator. Then I was hogging mum's laptop to play settlers II (<3 that game), I eventually got my computer, and got into Quake III Arena being aged 10 (and had to tell my mum that game was safe for my age haha - I eventually removed the blood effects).

The Quake 3 Arena chapter is interesting: it got me into router configuration as I wanted to open a port through the router to host my own dedicated games with friends, it got me into DNS configuration (I was running a no-DNS client that allowed friends to join me through a DNS while having a dynamic IP) and eventually... to modifying .cfg files to tune my server as I wanted it. No programming here but a nice intro into :)

Then I hated the fact everybody would point their finger at me and say "geek" - I was only 13, fragile, sensitive, and I wanted everything but a bad image on me.

Meanwhile I continued on getting interested in hardware and configure my own computers, and investing myself into music production.

Then, university. "What do you want to study?" I thought of everything but IT, fleeing the image of a "geek". Turns out it was a waste of time, and at 21 yo I got into web development (well, just html and css), then learned a bit of PHP, finally got a specialized 2-year training and now here I am!

I was bound to be in IT either way since day 0, and funny fact, I've used every windows edition since Win95.

2016: Tech on the ground vs in-flight.

Getting ready at midnight.
Driving to town at 1:30am to get the bus to the airport at 2:30am.
Will arrive at 5am to get my flight at 6:45am and fly for 2h.
Arriving at 11am local time.
Will reach final destination around lunch time..

No sleep tonight then...

Never taking the early flight again, no matter that it’s cheaper..

It's somewhat nice here. The thing is we have a lot of infrastructure problems and it's hard to implement business here which made it hard to find a job. But if you're working with US clients, it's fine. Internet access and electricity is not reliable, but you can find a workaround.
As a consumer of digital services, it's weird as we're pretty close to the US (2 hours flight) and there's not an embargo against us, but payment processing services won't touch us (legalization is awful for them), so good luck paying with any local issued card. And if anything is country restricted, we're right next to Cuba (Again, legalization). Paypal, Spotify, iTunes, most of Netflix, a few cloud providers.

Yeah, that's it. Right next to the US and no embargo and willingness to learn other languages (Easy to find French, English and Spanish speaker), but with big infrastructure problems (Internet and Electricity) so you can be really qualified and not get a job.
I'm in Haiti.

One hour to go and our plane will set off.
It wasn't a good idea to read Homo Faber before this flight.
My German Teacher says he's waiting for a new Film of the book. Instead of this "engineer" back in 1954, you should just a computer nerd xD
I wanna see that

Need suggestions to do on a flight with this speed 😅.

Took three days off during an insanely busy period because had to take care of some shit back in the country I'm from. Didn't know what state I'd be in after this so despite having the flight now (in the evening), took the next day off as well in case I would be completely exhausted. Now, at the airport, who do I see? The CEO... Commence hide-and-seek :)

- I love blowing my mind. Even if it is the most confusing thing. Things like security mechanisms, neurons' behaviors, mathematics (even tho I hate it when I fail lol), electronics, medical terminology and chemistry.
- I love collecting rare coins, personally never-seen stones and put them into my collection. I love to be a designer. Not only on my laptop. I have a book shelf and within that book shelf I put stones that create the yin yang sign while pushing the books to two sides. That makes them look like they are levitating. I have stones (including obsidian) that create a triangle and a knife hanging down the wall of my room.
- I love visiting touristic, historic, naturally-beautiful but also non-touristic (non-touristic? yes. by that I mean visiting e.g. the areas of touristic cities which are dangerous, because you can easily fall down off of a slippery ground and take serious injuries) places around the globe, talk to complete strangers in public (I am trying to be an extrovert), take pictures with my camera and collecting antiquities.
- I love taking risks (no. I don't play any poker games etc on the internet) without trying to put other people in risk. Driving insanely with whatever I have. Car, bike, you name it.
- I love reading books. Books that are about human psychology, fantasy novels and books about programming languages.
- I love to cook (I am at the beginning).
- I love to use the konMari method of tidying up my room.
- I love plants.
- I love having everything in my room tidied up (even if I am too busy with other stuff and skip this cleaning process for a week upto a month sometimes. Sorry, room.).
- I love doing sports. But mostly sport that I have never tried before. This can be, because of my greedy wish for an adrenaline kick. That led me into taking a balloon flight at 4 am (sunrise) and to paragliding at sunset above Mediterranean sea btw. (I am normally afraid of flying, but paragliding was awesome).
- I love swimming. Like, you cannot pull me out of the sea for a minimum of 2 hours, if it is not important.
- I love laying above the sea water and let the sea carry me to somewhere else.
- I love being alone. I love the silence. I love to be free in my thoughts.
- I love watching the sunset, the light that shines through the forest, the moonlight and the stars at night.
- I love dreaming. No, like, lucid dreaming for example.
- I love being open to any opinions.
- I love to learn about other people's views about the world and their religion.
- I love pets and would do anything to keep them alive when they are ill. It hurts my heart seeing them like this.
- I love watching demonic "A: Holy shit! Did you see this thing, too?! B: Yes!" YouTube videos just for the fun of it, but I hate horror movies and games.
- I love trying out new things. The creation of music and video for example.
- I love to give my hair and beard a shape, if I am too lazy to go to the barbershop lol. By that I don't mean just going to the barbershop, but taking an electric razor and cutting my hair myself even if I get bad results from time to time that can be corrected by letting any family member tell me in which area of of my head the hair problem is.
- I don't like disco clubs.
- I don't like toxic people even though I can be a quite toxic person myself without realizing it. If I appear toxic to you, inform me about it. Having so much testosterone in that moment, can make me do things that I don't want to do.
- I don't like drugs even tho I have to admit that I am trying a few from time to time (maybe 6 months in-between) to have a dopamine kick. I am not an addict.
- I hate myself for things that I did in the past.
- I used to watch MMA videos etc.
- I used to use a telescope, but I can't find it anymore.
- I used to have a microscope, but I can't find it anywhere and besides of that the seller did literally piss in it before selling it to me many years ago. Don't want to touch it tbh.
- I used to play games, but I don't enjoy games anymore. That makes me feel sad.
- I miss the old moments of my life.

In conclusion:
I like how things went and go so far. It changed me so much. It made me a good and a bad person. I became more open and confident, but it also particularly made me a leader who can say "fuck off" in a bad way to his family. I would like to undo this particular part of me.

Off to meet one of our customers next week. Requires my first long haul flight ever! 22hrs on a plane (with a wee stop in the middle!) Planning to buy a new set of noise cancelling headphones in the airport before I go! Duty Free Electronics FTW!!

See you down under!!

I once had this discussion with my manager

Me: Hey i have an idea to improve our overall system but since it requires design changes which may break the system , can you provide me an experimental environment to implement and test it.

Manager: you should write code in a way you can flight it (disable/enable any changes)

I was totally out of words.... Who the hell flights a system design change?!

I knew I wanted to be a Dev ever since I discovered that the Apollo missions, used a flight computer less powerful than a average mobile phone.

If they could put a man on the moon with that, imagine what I could do now...

It was the first time using unit tests on a project of mine. Coded from midnight to 5am on Lisbon's Burger King balcony before my flight.
Then while visiting a friend of mine who fell asleep while watching me play Overwatch on his computer, sshed into my server and continued the tests there.
I was productive and managed to score some cool hacker points. 😂

I discovered a cool little trick to wake myself up when I wouldn't stop dozing off and feeling like passing out on the floor even after emptying the coffee jar to my cup and splashing my face with cold water.

I watched horror gameplays,
Instant effect and now fully awake.

Thablnkfully human fight or flight response really puts your body on overdrive, heightens your alertness and raises oxygen levels in blood which makes you stop yawning.

Imma play or watch resident evil 7 whenever I wake up now ! Life hackzz

My very first experience with a computer was a Mac 512Ke which my parents bought to do accounts on.

I was too young to really get it but it had the games Zork 2, a flight sim called fire fox (I think) and some painting program.

What actually got me into programming was when I was at a friend's and we were trying to get dune 2 to work and his older brother stepped in, did some command line unzip and then hey! It worked.

Bit he was such an arrogant prick about us not knowing how to start the program that I started learning myself how to use computers properly.

Just got explicitly told to turn off any Samsung Galaxy Note 7 devices in the usually generic pre-flight "Turn to flight mode" announcement 😂😂

Astronautics. Admiring the coolness of space flight and orbital mechanics.

Because who don't think that space flight and orbital mechanics are cool?

Been to onsite interview at HolidayCheck.de, Munich for Scala dev position. Didn't get the promised 300EUR of the flight ticket back till now. Sent them 3 emails - they just didn't respond anymore. Not begging, shame on them - beware!

I wish there were local boot camps. Sucks to travel to SF or some major city and pay for flight, car, etc, when others can attend since they're right there.

I would attend more of these if cities within a 2 hr drive could host them.

iphonyX
Can't play CSGO ( and thousands of many other games ).
Atom, Sublime, Eclipse and intelIJ is still not supported.
Can't use it for writing programs
Can't run a local server and use it for development.
It still can't fly besides having flight mode

Apparently the universe doesn't want me+so to take a holiday. My first proper holiday in about 5 years between uni/being skint was supposed to start tomorrow, nothing too fancy, a week in southern France. Ryanair cancelled our outbound flight yesterday, rebooked and changed accommodation to Sunday, they've just cancelled that too so now slightly frantically trying to find alternate transport.

Fuck.

TL;DR: Embedded software guy needs to create a multi-instance sandbox environment in Jenkins for testing and not sure what good solutions are out there. Looking for suggestions.

So at work, we have these really cool integration tests that validate our system for flight safety. What's not so cool is that due to factors outside of my control, each test has to be run serially and the entire test suite can take many many hours. This is mostly due to a hardware limitation (not enough physical NICs), but there are other SW factors as well.

What I would like to do is somehow be able to wrap up all the resources into a neat little package and then deploy that package into some kind of virtual environment that can be instantiated on a Jenkins job. The NIC issue would be replaced with a virtual one and *theoretically* I should be able to spawn as many instances of this virtual environment as my CPU and RAM can handle. In short, I want to pseudo parallelize our test suite and drive down our testing time. Somehow I would need to be able to control this entire thing from a script of some sort.

Does anyone know of something out there that would satisfy these kinds of requirements? Double internet points if it's open source.

Had to be at airport for a flight to a Workshop in munich at 6:00 am. Flight was overbooked and I couldn't get on...so fuck I will be late ...Next flight they put me on was 10.45 am...things getting worse. But wait I got a compensation voucher by the amount of 250 EUR. Smile is back on my Face

Have you tried transporting you'r pc monitors inside suitcases? Ill be moving to another country and would like to get my screens with me. Its a six hours flight to the new destination.

Have you tried it? What precautions you took, how it went?

Project has been in flight for months. Solution design complete. Last minute major scope change by management. And I'm about to start rewriting a high level solution design doc to reflect their sudden change now. Due first thing in the morning. Its almost 12:30am local time.

Kill me!

The flight control software for a long range drone, ~100miles

Played almost every flight simulator out there, always wanted to be a fighter pilot, I used to play for hours and learn about each aircraft from internet. Novalogic's MiG-29 fulcrum was my favourite as it was realistic as hell, real radars , flight controls and cobra manoeuvres, tactical landings made the sim real fun. Sadly was not eligible for Air force and commercial pilot exams due to health issues.

First and foremost, keep clients and work colleagues (especially management people) out of your personal life as much as possible.

Communicate to the rest of the team and clients (if in a client facing role) when you will and won't be available. Also communicate your concerns about any unrealistic deadlines.

Most of the times, this is bound to be ineffective. So, keep phone on silent (or flight mode) at night and during weekends. Also don't call back in case there is a missed call from anybody from work colleagues.

I deviate from this only if there is a go live or similar activity going on.

Hearing the "don't turn your galaxy note 7 on during the flight, idiots" disclaimer before takeoff is just endlessly hilarious. And terrifying.

QUESTION RAILS + FRONT END, COME INSIDE AND TAKE A LOOK.
In the last months I started learning Ruby on Rails because I'd like to switch my job.
I developed few small projects from The odin project and today I was trying to implement Bootstrap inside my Rails app (simple flight booker) and I had several problems.
Chatting with other Odiners, they confirmed rails+bootstrap is not an easy combination.
Sooo here my questions:
1) what would you suggest to use with rails to create the frontend?
2) what would you suggest to use to create simple websites/landing pages? WordPress?

Thanks and regards!

Manager informed me that I need to go on business trip abroad (only 2000+ kilometers, two, perhaps three flight exchanges) in three days at customer's plant for (at least) two weeks. Of course, he only hinted vague details what I should/would do there. I must admit that I'm a bit baffled but ...

Please note that, because of health issues, i didn't leave home town for more than 5 years and didn't leave country for more than 20 years. ;)

Oh, joy ...

For a Christmas flight.
Not the prettiest currency :)

If there was another airline available for my flight I would use them.

Ffuucckk! I asked for my devRant stickers a few weeks ago and they haven't arrived. Worst part: I'm moving to another country in 5 days. Please @dfox, I don't want to miss my flight :/

I get highly sceptical of a company when they need external garbage tier recruiters to find people who want to develop, HIGHLY TECHNICAL AVIATION SYSTEMS AND FLIGHT SIMULATORS. WHAT ARE YOU DOING? THIS SHOULD SELL IT SELF. PEOPLE SHOULD BE FLOCKING. PUN INTEDED EVEN.

I also hate recruiters. No, I don't want to leave my job. And, are you stupid? You are not looking for someone with a BsSc. You are looking for someone with a MsSc, or am I just that fucking amazing that I don't need as much education to be considered? 😠😠😠😠😠😠😠

Aaaaaaaaaaah. Stop. It. I'm not looking for work.

On my way for a weekend trip, hearing the flight attendants announce 5 or 6 times about how the Samsung Note 7 is banned.

Not dev related but reasons for taking a week old baby on a flight: go!

You have 3 hours till I land