Just a friendly reminder to fellow developers to take care of yourself.

If your system is constantly pumping out cortisol, even when threats are minor, it gets desensitized to the stress signals. We used to react to cortisol with the fight-or-flight response when our lives were in real danger. Nowadays it's produced when you disagree with your coworker or there's a deadline coming up. So your cortisol rises but you neither fight nor run. The result is a stress response that isn't functioning properly. This is when burnout symptoms develop. Same goes for testosterone, dopamine and some other hormones and neurotransmitters. Read up and start proper work hygiene that includes workouts, fresh air activities and manual hobbies.

Your back, wrists and eyes aren't the only things you have to watch out for when coding long hours. Cheers and have a fun weekend!

Stress made me fall into old habits of instead of saying stop and letting my team now that I was falling apart (not realising it myself even) I just kept saying "Yes, I fix that." to every single request that was made in the project.

The closer we got to the deadline, the more I hyperfocused and ignored the signs. I just kept working. The last two days I didn't even sleep.

Of course the launch botched. I finally broke down and both my mind and my body have given up, since yesterday I'm in a mental feedback loop causing continuous anxiety attacks and migraines. I literally CAN'T do anything but trying to not go back into fight- or flight mode and remember to breathe.

I FINALLY made my project manager aware (something I should have done days ago) that I am incapacitated and now I am waiting for medication (Oxazepam) to be picked up at the pharmacy by my husband.

I almost literally worked myself into the ground.

I've been here before. Never again.

This is what happens if you don't listen to your mind and body and put up a white flag in time.

FUCK!!!!

Got tickets to jbcnconf. Got all the flights in order. Got a place to stay.

And apparently someone decided to have a strike in the airlines on the day my connecting flight was supposed to happen. And ofc the flight got cancelled. And ofc there are no alternatives.

So now the whole ~1k€ conference deal will go down the gutter. FUCK!! I soooo wanted to visit Barcelona and attend that conf!!

FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!

P.S. I hate you, Ryanair

We're visiting the capital of my wife's home country, and it's frustrating how taxi drivers take advantage of the people. They don't use the taximeter and ask for a higher amount than would normally be. It's only here, though, because where we live it is illegal not to use the taximeter.

When we arrived at the airport and took a taxi, the driver was fined during the way to our hotel and once we arrived, he asked for 9 to 10x the price, because of the fine. He wanted us to cover the fine for him. Of course, we denied, and she gave a much smaller amount, of which I still think it was too much. If it was me, I'd just toss a smaller amount on the car seat and walk off. What'd he do? Tie us, put us forcibly in the trunk, and drive back to the starting point?

Indeed, the cost of living here is expensive, but they assume everybody is rich, especially if it's a foreigner. To be honest, I'm not even working right now, and she earns in dollars. We can afford all of this, but it's infuriating how shitty they are. It makes us want to stay in the room doing nothing until our flight back.

I hope we won't need to come back here again.

Currently at my work they are making everyone assist to the office at least 1 day of the week, some people live in other cities, there is even one coworker that has to take a flight once a month. We don't even do anything different on the office, same work, nobody likes to come.

I think my next remote job is going to be at least 500 miles or a minimum of four states away to make it harder for someone to spring a “everyone local to the office has to come in for this day of corporate training and indoctrination” on me at the last minute.

“Oh sure I can come in. I’ll be on the lookout for my flight tickets and itinerary”.

Usually makes them scurry off.

Any tips for a long flight (15hrs) ?

I found my some documents about my dad on Ancestry and showed them to him because they’re things he’d like to see. His high school yearbook photo. His college yearbook photo. The flight manifest from when his family came over from Puerto Rico.

He was happy to see these. He doesn’t have his yearbooks because they’re not things he would have been able to afford at the time. The flight manifest helped put some memories together because he was a little boy when his family moved.

He did get a little freaked out when I explained why Ancestry had these things. But I think that outweighs the joy of discovery.

We had an ADAM/Colecovision unit before this, but I don't really count it, as it was more of a console for us than a computer.

In 1986 dad brought home a Tandy 1000 SX. It had an Intel 8088 processor, 64k of memory, and no hard drive. With dual 5.25" floppy drives, our write-protected DOS 3.1 disk stayed in drive A almost all the time. Games and other software were run from drive B, or from the external cassette drive. For really big games, like Conquest of Camelot and Space Quest 3, we were frequently prompted to swap disks in B: before the game could continue.

Space Quest, King's Quest, Lords of Conquest, Conquest of Camelot, Chuck Yeager's Advanced Flight Trainer, several editions of Carmen Sandiego, and at least a dozen other games dominated our gaming use. We wrote papers with WordStar, and my parents maintained their budget with Lotus 1-2-3.

A year or two later, Dad installed a 10 MB hard drive, and we started booting DOS off that instead. Heady days.

!tech

I have this bad habit of never taking decisions without discussing. For risky, highly impactful decisions, ig this is a good approach, but when you are trying to be a host, or taking some very basic decisions like ordering food, or booking a time slot, i would ask opinion of all the parties involved.

I sometimes cross the line of being considerate to being bothering, irritating and unreliable with my debating nature.

I Don't know why but i for every situation i feel having a second opinion is necessary and good.For eg, Once i was my sister and our flight got cancelled due to bad weather.
I had to choose : either take the next available flight booked by the same airlines for free, which was around 26 hours later, or book the next flight from another airlines which was in 2 hours but costed twice. we were in a different state, and my middle-class/opportunity deprived brain was seeing a path for both choices, but i thought of consulting sis and she lost her mind. she got scared, she started regretting all our choices, the airway travels , everything.

if i had just taken the decision of going with the 2 hour late flight, i would hav saved myself from so much drama.

How to fucking man up in a decision making situation?

from antigravity import flight

The flight control software for a long range drone, ~100miles

Question: what is ToF?
Normal engineers: time of flight
Kiki: Tom of Finland 🤤🤤😛🔥💦

‘Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the airport, I was at the bars getting shitfaced before my flight. The people all held their luggage with care, in hopes that someone wouldn’t clog the line up for 20 fucking minutes.

The luggage was all nestled and packed with care
And I with my cheese its and Carmel m&ms, would soon to be snacking in the air overhead.

i am so fucking conflicted right now. seeing my fiture getting ruined in front of my present eyes. Life always gives me a chance to jump out of a ship that's about to fucking blow , i took it the first time, but this time i missed it for bravery ( and stupidity), and now am sinking alongside this fucking ship

my first job was amazing. decent work, sometimes a lot and sometimes too less. i would learn new things ,interact with people, handle a lot of fuckups . at one point i felt like looking for another opportunity , got one giving 50% hike , so i jumped the ship and sent a resignation letter. the noitice peripd was less, so i enjoyed my days applying to other ships. got even a better offer with 100% hike, so from one boat to another to now a literal cruise.

later i got to know that my original company got bankrupt and fired 85% staff. the next month the company that gave me the first offer layed off 30% staff.

now the waters are tough and my cruise is also getting impacted. but instead of firing, they are asking us to come to the office permanently. their office is in a fucked up place: you need 8$ just to breath the fucking air there. its the city of blood and money. and you will be giving away both things there.

my brain got split into 2 parts after this announcement: my stupid self was still considering this while my sensible self started applying for jobs. my stupid self was thinking that this is a great opportunity to leave my fucking nest of a home , where i am liv8ng woth my parents for last 25 years, and learn to live alone. clean utensils, cook food , wash clothes... i wanted to live the life the harsh way.

but life still took a pity on the fool that j am and gave me an opportunity. an opportunity to work with a big brand who hasn't done any layoffs in their 40+ yrs of existence (but also known for giving shit increments)
the offer was just a 40% hike but it was near my home. i could be in office in 1 hr in less than a dollar a day and still earn more than what am earning now.

plus my notice period is now 60 days , so who knows what other offer i could have got in those 60 days ( when i would keep my profile with a big green "immediately available to hire" circle on me.

however this time i didn't jump the boat. i asked them for a bigger raisez they declined and my stupid self was more than happy.
now the company has started to send mails regarding relocation and yepp the cruise is sinking , atleast for me. if i was savingsx in this company, my savings would become x/8 if i go to that city. in the new offer it would have at worst remained x.

and that's not even half of what's bothering me. i had accepted the money loss in exchange of what that city and my company had to offer : a chance to experience WFO, a chance to live life like a mature man and not a kid in his mom's house ,and a life full of hurdles and strangers.

however i always like to keep an emergency fallback mechanism on me , for if things don't work out. I don't wanna go depressed and cut my wrists there, I don't want people to hurt me so much that I can't recover. i want to run away from that wreched city the moment i start to loose the battles there and the city starts taking over me.

but what the holy fuck? my company's notice period is 60 days, and my rented room's security deposit is 6 fucking months? i will be giving 6 months of deposit + 1 month of brokerage + 1month of rent on the first day i put my steps on that wretched land after travelling in a 100 dollar flight! where am i supposed to get this much money?!
and okay, somehow i manage this. say i did an 11 months agreement, paid the fucking 8 months of rent at one go and simply started living a shitty life there. in month 2 i break down and wanted to implement my escape mechanism. it would go like this : i will suck up and try to live for rent free for next 6 months. but wait, THAT'S NOT FUCKING ALLOWED!! iam supposed to get my security AFTER 11+1 MONTHS!! why not freaking adjust it in my rent?

I can't think straight . 6 months of security deposit has blown my brain. i am regretting anything and everything. I can't think of my roommates situation, home safety, room location, whatever the fucks we think while looking for a room . all i can think is ...WHY SO MUCH MONEY NEEDS TO GO AT ONCE!?

FUCK