Received "emergency update" code from internal enterprise security team. Wasn't given time to do code review; was assured code was reviewed and solid.

Pushed code to over 6k lower-level servers before finding this gem buried deep within:
...
cd /foo; rm -rf *; cd /
...

(This ran as root, and yes, the cwd was / from earlier in the code).

/foo, of course, did not exist on some servers.

Now, it is those servers which do not exist.

FML

When I was traveling on the road and playing around with some code...

If my code was a picture :D

Real programmers don't comment their code. It was hard to write, it should be hard to understand.

My weirdest ever co-worker was a man who called himself "the code" and wrote exclusively JavaScript.

Dev: "Ah, I finally fixed that code I was working on the other day and got it pushed to staging!"

Almond: "Ah, great! What was the issue in the end?"

Dev: "It was an odd one - it wasn't actually my code that was the issue, there was a bunch of other code getting in the way."

Almond: "How do you mean?"

Dev: "It kept complaining about something called a "unit test" failing - so after a while I found the right unit tests, deleted them, and now it works great!"

Almond: "..."

I was writing a Python code and my teacher saw. She knows nothing about programming so she asked if I was programming a bomb to blow up a building... Smh.

The worst Code I saw was

if (value != null ) {
return value;
} else {
return null;
}

Once upon a time, there was a coder named Dude. He started working at a company that told him they were innovative and that their code was glorious. This was a lie. He murdered everyone.

The End.

I was suppose to review this code.

if (null != value) {
return value;
} else {
return null;
}

So I was code reviewing this guy's code before merging into the master branch.... and then I FOUND THIS FUCKING CODE, WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What the fuck is this ???

When I come back to my old code and see how I was using that framework

Boss man: your code has issues , you should strive to have lesser bugs.

Me: GTA was made due to a bug in the their code.
*mic drop, leaves office, clapping heard in background*

😂

Today history was made, I was able to actually write code for almost 5 hours today at work without being interrupted!

The way my code review was XD

Wtf?? Who wrote this shitty code???

* git blame *

Oh... Right... It was me...

Was working on a group project.. I ask my partner to give me the code he was working on. Expecting link to repo or at very worst an email

I GET A FUCKING IMESSAGE W 1000+ LINES OF CODE

Not knowing git or github. His idea was to exchange the code via SKYPE

Apparently the code that took humans to the moon was written in Java

When you delete a block of code that you thought was useless

To be honest, she warned me that the code was badly written, but...

How Microsoft devs think about Linux 😁.

This was found inside the index.html of Visual Studio Code editor.

Goes to sleep.

Wakes up.

"OMFG WHY WAS I SO STUPID!?"

*has code epiphany*

So I was looking through my year-old code and found this.

I'm a pretty funny guy.

I've written a lot of bad code, seen a lot, but attached is the most recent 'worst' I've seen.
What makes the situation worse/funny is:
1. The developer's code comment.
2. Check-in passed a code review.
3. The 'legacy code' was written last week.

Added almost 1000 lines of code. Compiled and no errors.

I was like, erghhh seriously?

@No-one asked me to make a devRant related waifu but I went "why not if devRant WAS the waifu"

and this was born while waiting for compiling code (again)

The first time writing code in an airplane was very uncomfortable. Everyone around me thought I was hacking the airliner.

I was writing HTML.

A story

Me: "The code is great!"
Narrator: "The code was not great."

The end.

Project manager: how was the day?
Me: wrote a few lines of code
Me: ran the code
Me: full of errors
Me: I cried

My classmate was debugging c++ code when he stepped out for a while. We deleted a closing bracket.

He is rewrote the code from cratch

At least, it was honest comment by developer........
Have you ever encountered such funny statement/code ?

When I didn't compile the code for 500+ lines and when i finally did, there was only one syntax err... it was a typo... and then it worked...

I just saw a code from 5 years ago .. WTH I was doing ?!!

Apparently Stackoverflow was down recently. I think I missed it, because I was busy reading homemade documentation and having multiple existential crisis over the performance of my code.
Mondays

Tested and checked in code. Left on vacation and came back.

The code I checked in still was there, still works, and didn't cause any fires while I was gone :)

Success!

A guy that just did not know how to code. He had years and years of experience (?), but DID NOT KNOW HOW TO CODE. He was given a simple task, spent weeks on it and what came out was usually 60 lines of "if, elseif, elsif....else".

He was given several warnings, and eventually "voluntarily" left the company.

I still get screenshots of his code sent by one of my ex-colleagues who's still there when he stumbles across it.

Refactoring and writing tests for code that was code written by intern and is on production about one year

I was so into my code that all my colleagues felt the earthquake tremors, but I didn't.

A programmer was arrested for writing unreadable code

He refused to comment

The interviewer pointed out that I missed a semi-colon on the whiteboard code .I was like... sorry, but the whiteboard can't compile this code!

...and I wasn't selected! -.-"

Looking at code in our workplace.. I realized one thing. Like Devops, legacy code is actually a mindset.

So here goes my thought:

A piece of code is not legacy because it was written ten years ago.

A piece of code is legacy because it looks like a piece of legacy code.

With the legacy code mindset, you end up writing legacy code no matter where you are, when you wrote it.

I was looking at some part of our code which we written in just the last few months, and I can’t help but think that they were legacy, so it really doesn’t matter when it was written!

It is more about how you write your code that determines whether it is legacy :)

Hopefully this was not crazily confusing anyone. Have a good day guys & gals!

Proud moment when a colleague noted how easy it was to re-purpose my code for his needs☺

My code review nightmare is reviewing C++ code that was written by Matlab people. Letting them commit code without reviewing it will surely bring Armageddon, but having to watch these horrors...
Functions signature like 'void func(int arr[3])'. Nononononono.

Hunted a bug for 8 hours, thinking it was a problem in my code....

Found out it was someone else's code generator that injected the bug...

Contacted the concerned dev... Had to convince him for another 3 hours that it was his change to the code that caused the issue. He is still sure that his change can't break the code...... What the fuck are you..? A fucking God programmer who never makes mistakes??

I mean how hard is it to just accept when I just proved it to you??

Was looking through some code during work when I found this beauty. Why would you even...

was finding bug on server all day long until I look at the client side code ._. I'm so stupid

Me at QA, talking about a nasty bug I found in legacy code.
QA: what was the root cause?
Me: pos code.
QA: pos?!
Me: piece o' shit.
QA: ...

If only there was some some kind of program that could automatically indent your code....

It was 1999. I was just starting my first real job as a programmer for a major insurance company. We were working on code that would screen scrape legacy mainframe data output and convert it to a web-based UI. REALLY stupid project approach I had no input on. I happened to find a programmer in Germany who had released his code in the public domain that would help with making a certain conversion task easier. I downloaded his code and put it to work.

During a code review, a programmer who was probably about 60 asked me where I got the code and what it was doing. I didn't even get to the part about what it was doing because he made fun of me so badly, in a fake German accent in front of a room full of non-programmers, for using code that today is no big deal due to the prevalence of open source. I just clammed up in humiliation because he got everyone laughing at me. His philosophy was if we didn't buy it or write it ourselves, we had no business using it.

I guess I was just ahead of my time?

I'm refactoring some old Java code I did

my goodness I was a short-sighted idiot

Started new job with presentation at 10:00. Went for lunch at 11:00. Was given access to source code at 12:00. Decided to quit at 13:00.

No regrets. Code was so bad that I wanted to cry.

Forgot what I was looking for in the code....Shit happens

So my boss copied a code from stackoverflow and thought "foo" was a function or something... It was just an alias to a SQL select...

Just found this while trying to understand some code:

```
bool ok = true;
if(ok) {
// lots of code here
} else {
// even more code here
}
```

I thought this was worth my first rant...

Learning to code at the University was quite annoying in the beginning. We had to write code on paper.
Might be the usual way, yet it was really inconvenient.

The relevant code was known to be unstable. Can't say that I was not warned :D

I was checking old code

css:

class name : blue_box
background : #565656

:(

Probably the biggest problem of my life was starting to code at age 28 instead of, let's say 14...

A colleague named Sam was really pissed off today at an out sourcing firm from India.

My Boss outsourced an application to India based firm. Sam was the one handling the project after the handover. Sam coded a feature 2 weeks ago and moved to staging server for approval. After the sign off from the lead developer of the outsourcing firm, he moved the feature to production. For the past 2 days the application was crashing over and over again so Sam went to check and found out that the feature he coded was causing the issue. When he pulled the feature to his computer and had a look at the code, it wasn’t his code. The code he wrote was commented out and the lead developer of the outsourcing firm wrote new code.

When Sam emailed to him regarding this he replied that he re-wrote his code to fix issues with the feature. Sam and outsourcing firm lead developer had heated argument about this. It’s turns out that the outsourcing developer re-wrote the code without anyone’s approval and on production server.

The lead developer of the outsourcing firm was fired.

I was deleting random comments i did in my code...
because it didnt work... then it did...

Was checking my school portal code and found dis. What a kinky dev

There was a time when a fellow dev asked me if it was possible to use JavaScript in jQuery code... Yeah, true story

I wrote a tool that aligns an array of cameras. It was used several times, and it failed occasionally, so the operators claimed my code was buggy. Yesterday one of them came to me, saying that my code was alright - they just flipped the axes of the alignment equipment during those failed attempts.
Me:

This is me trying to code. Year 2012, I was 11. 1024x768 screen, Windows XP, slowest internet connection ever. Android 4.1 was the latest trend, toolbars were also cool apparently.

*finishes university exams*

*gets to code after a long time*

*cannot remember what the code does that was written a few weeks back*

Fuck 😓

I was working with a guy 3 years ago, he was junior web developer. Lazy for work, watching YouTube and game streamers all day long at the office. Sometimes i was fixing his crappy code.
And ... one week ago I was surprised seeing this guy come to my current work office as senior web developer.
Im also new at this office and i had good impression i was working with professionals before this happened. Guess what... This guy hasnt changed much. Still writes crappy code , no idea of clean code at all.
I got concerns about my work place now :/ thinking to change it.

That moment you wrote ~100 lines of code that doesn't fix your problem which was just a typo

I was asked by a client to code review their platform built in PHP. The platform was becoming slow and new features built by their current IT supplier broke existing features.

I gained access to the source code... One PHP file (index.php) containing about 80K lines of code... I am impressed and disgusted at the same time. 😂

It's about a guy that knows better.

I was working as a subcontractor on a bigger system. We (subs) were not allowed to deploy code, we had to wait for contractor to deploy.

One day I got an email that my code is bugged and that my feature is not working on production. I checked it on test env, everything was fine. Then I checked if the code I wrote was deployed. It was not.

I send an email explaining that if they deployed my code it would be working. Then I got a response. There was a bug in my code.

Another email. I asked how would they know? Do they have a test on their environment that failed?

No. There is one guy that READ my code and he said it should not work, so he will not deploy it. He was not a programmer, he was a business consultant responsible for the documentation.

His issue was that I used a function that was not in a class. So if the function is not declared it's obvious it will not work. I had to explain to him in another email, that you can use object of another class inside your class and then call a function, that is not in your class. It was the last time this guy blocked my deploy.

TL;DR, I had to explain a non-dev how object composition works in order to have my code deployed. Took four emails.

I looked into the code of the website of our company. One of the first things I found was that the Login was hardcoded with clear passwords. So everytime a new user needs an account the code has to change.

I still can't understand how people can do that.

"One of my most productive days was throwing away 1000 lines of code." - Ken Thompson

What was your first line of code?

Earlier i ranted about how someone hacked our site and he had our source code.
Now finally we found how was our site code stolen, thanks to @dfox he mentioned how can we pull code from got server at that time I checked trying commamds to dowload git folder but it was secure but later we found that we had another subdomain running for pur project and its git folder was not secured

I code since I was 8 maybe, so coding isn't simply impacting my life. Coding IS my life.

Worst project I had was when I was asked to just copy-paste code and change the names of variables. Yeah, that's it, nothing more than that.

Remember the time when someone appreciated your code and praised the implementation, said that your code was better??
Yeah, neither do I.

I Just created My first code in brainfuck.

My First reaction was why was this made, but as I continued it seemed to make some sense, even though All I was using was some random ascii symbols

The other week, our coffee machine broke. No code was written.

Today, coffee machine broke. No code written.

Think I found the secret ingredient to writing code!

Was just scrolling through some 3rd party code and I had my "What the hell" moment

A month ago. The code for a feature was removed because my boss thought it would not be required. When that was done, a lot of regression testing was done and a lot of code was changed all over the code base. And those changes were merged to main branch along with a bunch of other changes.

But now, he wants me to put that feature back just as the release date is approaching. It's just a humongous waste of time. Now I need to find where all the tentacles of that bloody feature reach and manually put back the code. And the bloody testing needs to be done all over again.

When will I get to stop dealing with these kind of people.

I recently came across my old interview assignment code which I had written while I was still in college. Oh my God, it was cringy! It was such crappy code 😂

My coworker (who had interviewed me) saw it too. He was surprisingly very chill about it, saying that the code is not bad, it just shows a lack of experience. I think I will choose to believe him 🙃

My worst "legacy code" experience was when the company I work at couldn't get their heads out of their asses and stubbornly continued to write legacy code. As of this day they are still doing everything according to what was hip around 2004. And they even force me to write new legacy code.

New legacy code: it sounds like a paradox, but this company makes it happen.

Blamed team member for writing unmaintainable code. Turns out it was the other way round.

When you git blame a crap line of code and find out it was your commit

So I was coding a project that was left for me because the initial developer was fired (I didn't know why). When I was reading his code:

var saturday_sunday = week.day - 1;

Now I understand why he was fired.

Re-writing IBM Asembler code to C. No documentation whatsoever. Code was our only reference.

I got ranted,by our teacher in algorithms lab, because I was compiling the code using terminal and was not using torboC (there wasn't any IDE installed on the system) 😃

Because nothing says "security" like some good ol' Base64 encoding. Bet whoever wrote that code was wearing mirror shades.

TIL the term "Kangaroo Code" was also a popular sort-of synonym for "Spaghetti Code".

It more referred to languages that heavily used "goto"s (because it would be "code with a lot of jumps")

So I was finally done with the project, every feature was implemented the way I wanted it be, every piece of code optimized and well written, I was completely satisfied with my code and didn't feel the urge to add a "last little feature/optimization"...
.
.
.
Then I woke up 😭😭😭

Spent 3+ hours trying to debug an issue I was having with the AdWords API - tore apart my code. Turns out it was AdBlock that was blocking images displayed from the API call. Sigh.

GitHub was founded in 2008.
The git source code repo was published on github in 2005. What?!

Had been hunting for a "modern" editor, mostly for browsing code and quick edits. Can't believe that the one that actually fit my requirements was Microsoft's VS Code. On Linux!

When you thought your code was impenetrable but then QA rips it apart.

Just rememberes a collegue i had for a short period, i was remote and he was on location randomly added, I was told he was a php developer.
What he did was delete ALL the whitespace in the php code and called it optimising, he told the director it’ll make the code run faster. You can imagine how fun that was...

While working I was munching from a bowl of candy, suddenly realized my face hurt and hard to breathe. Emergency room....
I apparently ate something I'm allergic to while in a code fog.
No idea what it was yet.
Must have been bad code.

Leave the code base a better place than what it was when you touched it!

The moment you discover that code was not saved correctly and you lost 1h of work

After hours debugging code... find out I was connected to the wrong DB :/ **crying in java**

Your CC is safe with us.
Most likely dead code was included in 2013, never modified.
Someone was happy to use Wikipedia

I am reading the code I wrote yesterday when i was drunk out of my mind

"How was work?"
...
"I did stuff, thinks and wrote code"

It was the first time I worked on a big project with a big team, I looked at the given code and copied their code style.

I finished very fast and everything was working fine, was really proud of myself. I'd like to add some logging though.

Programm failed it was heavily async and parallel so 2 days of debugging had past the whole team was on board nobody knew what went wrong there.

As I stared into the darkness of my code I suddenly saw what went wrong 😂

As I adopted no curly braces style of the Team for

If (condition)
Justine();

And I added logging above without braces everything broke 😂 it was indented properly so as a heavily python user everything looked fine

I wish I knew how to code when I was in his age. 😂😂

When you thought writing code on paper in university was bad, wait till you apply to Google and have one of your interviews writing code in Google docs.

Dude in my Computer Architecture class was doing his homework from another class (Java, which is weird because that class is a prerequisite for this one) was struggling with a two-line code program, and the website was telling him that his output wasn't the expected. I notice that the website expected a vertical list, but he was printing an horizontal one. Basically, he was using println instead of print. I was about to pointed that out until he changed to another tab and I realize that he just copied and pasted the code from SO. He deleted the two-line code (which was enough to perform the task) and pasted a big +30 lines of code that basically printed the same output because he was still using println...

Wrote my first code on a commodore vic 20. I was 7 years old

Was writing code, came down, there's a military coup going on in our neighbor Turkey, thought I was hallucinating for a second...

We were all drunk at a college party. I pretended that I was able to code something for a friend. He put me on his laptop and made me code. In 20 minutes I had finished. Everybody reviewed the little program and said it was all good.

When we reviewed again the program sober, it was full of bugs that none of my drunk buddies tested out

I took over someone's code right after they left, and this was in there... By the way the containing method was about 300 lines long.

Looking at some legacy code and I was like wtf, later read the author name and it was me.
How people were tolerating me than! Man😂

I guess this happens to everyone but damn, hate it when dreaming about code, and not just any code, but the code your enthusiastic about, somehow everything seems to work, so that when you wake up and sit in front of the computer you just go blank... what was that code again, it was so sleek, so simple, yet so robust...

12 hours later dream about it again to wake up realizing you wont ever be able to wake up remembering the code in the detail...

If you comment your code like this, I'd like you to rethink your life choices.

This is a project we need to work on in university. The code was given to us.

I was looking at some poorly written code today in a project and I was curious to see who wrote it. I blamed it and found I had wrote it 6 months ago! smh Well... at least I know I'm getting better! I ended up refactoring it to use better code patterns.

I didn't get to code today.

But there was cake, and it was delicious!

Java's garbage collector is so bad that if it was good it would have collected all of my code!!

I was looking for a solution in some piece of code for half an hour but then I had to go. I took a photo of the code with my phone and then figured out the solution while I was on the bus :D

Spent 4h+ debugging my code (it was late)...only to realise that my code was not buggy, but the fuckup in design was in the original part I didn't change..FML..

Its 2019. I was just tasked with writing code to print to a dot matrix printer.

This was when I was pursuing my bachelors degree. One of the professors was of the opinion that only her code was right and anything else is wrong! For example if she did something with a for loop and I did the same with a while loop, my answer would be wrong -_- What the hell -_-

(Also, often her code would be wrong too and sometimes wouldn't even compile.. She used Notepad btw)

That feeling when you view your older projects and see how distorted your code was, how much boilerplate code, realize how stupid you were.

Good to see how times have changed.

The ability to remember exactly where I was in the code and what I was thinking when I come back to it.

Today looking at code thinking to myself "I thought I fixed that code...shit that was in my dream!"

Why me?!

I am currently refactoring some code which exists before my time in this company.
The code was so inefficient before. To put into perspective for every function call it used to loop through some data 100+ times .
I replaced it with a map and voila, no more loops anymore.
The person who wrote this code don't even realise how bad his code was. He sits besides me writing more stupid hacky code for other parts of the app.

Push code via FTP, even when GIT was being used for the project.

When you delete a block of code that you thought was useless..

He was brave enough to out his name on this... Legacy code, always full of surprises.

I was asked to explain code line by line to a non-dev. kill me now.

He spent a week learning to code (c#) then decided he was good enough to write the next big FPS.

The result was about as bad as you'd expect.

going over some old code in the project...
thinking what garbage is this?
oh oh it was junior me :(

I was wondering why every time my my code is accessing the !valid() part to later realize I was coming back to it = its state is reset = I need a break T_T

P.S. if you find anything in my code make sure to let me know :)

A few years ago, i was kinda bored on my internship, so i changed the name of all variables of some jquery functions i had on my code with lyrics from a song that was stuck on my head.
Never understood that code again.

Yes! Finished Day 1 of Advent of Code. Was easy.

Phantom Code: Code that was written in dose state with very little knowledge what the hell fuck you were doing 😧😭

One day i started to code.

One day i was told you will not code without git.

Many days i lost code on git because i was ignorant.

Today i reset the act of commiting without losing all my shit.

Git reset --soft HEAD^

I didnt event sweat it ;)

Today i feel like half a boss!!!

when u feel that u wrote some godlike code. 2 months later client wants to add new features. then u realize ur code needs major refactoring. "what was i thinking, far from godlike"

code not working?
comment code and try to run
uncomment piece by piece
code back to original
running...

apparently, the code didn't know it was right

Once I was totally exhausted and fatigued doing code...

Then i had cappuccino....

The next thing i saw was my complete project.

I was on the train and a woman came aboard. The only available seat was next to me. She takes this huge laptop out of her bag. While I observed this, I thought: she's going to code. She logged in and.. GitLab! She was writing R code.

The self checkout just printed out a discount code for the product I was thinking of

I've created a code review for merging someone else's code, coz they were signed off sick for the last month.

They're making comments about how it's wrong.

It's code they wrote, but restructured to be more readable.

They wrote incorrect code that was just so illegible they didn't realise.

How do I explain this diplomatically?

The way I was told to write unit tests was particularly terrible.

No mocking of objects or dependencies so the tests ran the actual code in full including updating databases and files. Then at the end of each test there was code to restore all changes back to before the test.

Each test ended up being over 100 lines. Madness.

There was a task of fixing up a payments page that features pretty complex logic. Initially it was like 200 lines of code, seems short but it was a fucking spaghetti mess. Never seen more cognitively complex code in my life.

So I delete the spaghetti and pull out the 500 lines fucking state machine. It works perfectly. It’s perfectly understandable even though it’s longer.

This is how I deal with problems. Shorter code isn’t always better code.

"Mushroom Code"
When the code looks like it was written by someone on shrooms.

When a dev complains his/her code was not deployed and you find the code was check-in in wrong branch.

I was telling someone who never indents any of his code to indent it properly.. He was like "Why should I do that? Will it make my code run faster?"

I think this code was written with onions.

So I was excited about working on a proyect I recently was invited to work on, but when I finally got my hands on the code I felt this urge to scream "YOU FUCKER!!!" (the dev responsible for the code)

When I find that code I wrote when I was a beginner..

Just saw a post on SO where the guy was asking a question about ES8, ES9 and ES10. These don't exist yet.

He even had code examples and was adamant that he was right.

Production broke today because Google code removed a project that was hotlinked, but cleanup is not a priority #fml

Couple years ago I was asked to add couple of simple features to a piece of code on clients server. I thought it was simple process until I got the code and noticed that the variables were named like int1, int2, int3... etc. Also same logic in the database.
Needless to say I spent too much time to figure out what those variables and db fields contained. Also the whole code was copy paste code from the web.

If my code was a selfie, this would be a Rembrandt.

I had a friendly argument with a person over comparing visual studio with Xcode,the first thing that came into my mind when he said visual studio was visual studio code (keep in mind visual studio and visual studio code are completely different visual studio is an ide while visual studio code is a code editor )

I was arguing that there’s no point comparing an ide specifically made for iOS app dev with a code editor with intellisense with better code predictions as it would have made more sense if he was comparing a code editor with another code editor like atom or sublime.

This argument went on for a couple of mins in a group chat

Later on I found out he was talking about visual studio and not visual studio code which actually is an ide used for app dev.

This whole time I thought he was talking about vs code and he thought I was talking about visual studio 😂

I ended up agreeing it was my mistake for not getting the message in the first place 😂

Comment on a code review:
How does this relate to the task?
Me:
Most of the changes have nothing to do with the task, but half of the code & build system was either wrong, broken or not following best practices. This particular change is because something was broken.

I had rough week last week. Accidentally deployed dev code to production, soon found out there was no production version of code to do a redeploy. Deployed another app to production, it was working fine then another Dev changed a data type in the database from bool to nullable Boolean which broke some Linq queries. Looked like I deployed crap code. 3rd week with company.

Checking the whole code for finding the null value. Gone through the process multiple times.
Oh boy, it was wasn't "personId", it was "personID".

I regularly diss on PHP in office but the truth is just that the developers before me wrote bad code. It was bad code in PHP alright but they had a whole framework to use and at least organize their code better but they didn't use it.

I have seen their JavaScript code too and it was all in one file.

P.S. I have no idea under which condition they had to write the code. The app was initially outsourced.

I had my presentation early morning, it was 3am, and I was still up because the code was not compiling. Then showed up my roommate who had gone for party. Can't believe that he was the one, in the half drunk state, was able to find just a short typo,but not ME, EVEN THOUGH I HAD 3 CUPS OF COFFEE the same night. Lesson learned. Patience is a virtue. Blessed to have a nice roommate. :)
PS. It was a Matlab code for filtering the mentioned portion of an ECG Signal, and analysing the problem faced by the patient. Well, I was pretty sure to get arrhythmia if I couldn't complete the code by morning.

Last year in my job, I was temporarily assigned to another team to help out in their project as they were short-staffed. It was a massive project and of course there was a lot of code review to be done. But since I was only temporarily assigned, I still have to do code reviews for my base team, this other team I was assigned to, and for some reason, code review for another team that I barely know what their project is about.

There were times where all I was doing was code reviews that took anywhere between a few minutes to upto 3 days. The amount of mistakes and bugs I kept finding was phenomenal. But I think the one thing that got to me was finding the same bugs/mistakes that I kept pointing out to people to stop doing or to fix e.g DB queries inside a loop just to retrieve data.

To this end I still have to deal with the same issue, but thankfully now it's only to one team.

When I was in my first year in university, at the Introduction to Programming class, we had to do a Java project and my partner was someone who was always bragging about how much he knew about programming. Me being someone who was learning programming by the moment I started the course I thought he was going to help and teach me cool stuff.

The first phase was due to deliver in one week and literally my code was all original and my partners code was all copies of others work. Out project could'vw been graded 0 because of his code (because they used a programm that compared variables of each project to see if.they fins copies). He practically didn't gave the effort to try to code, just copies. I spent the whole week correcting his work so that I wasnt penalized in the end...

When your commit gets reverted without you knowing why :/

Worked till late refactoring code,
Then dreamed I made a huge mistake.
Or was it real? Can't tell !

"It was hard to code so it should be hard to understand."

- my former boss who did never document any code

TFW when you discover your tests have bugs, and your code was broken all along 😡

Well I just spent hours antagonising over code only to find the file was in the wrong directory lol

Some years ago... And some xp less.

An old WordPress installation was attacked and our server was sending thousands of spam mails.

I found out that there was a line of code in the top of every php file. And I removed these files.

The problem was that
1) I was copying this fcking line to new files because I was thinking it was my code.
2) I found a Linux command to detect all these files and I removed them one by one. In every file. Many many files.

#hacker #goodolddays

When the code is so bad that fixing one thing breaks 10 other things because the code was made to work with broken code.

Never comment, and you'll be rethinking your code every day like it was the first

So I completed writing code to generate report regarding git commit in CSV. What my boss was saying is :

The worst rejection was one after a first interview and a subsequent 3 hour code challenge. I was super nervous as it was my first code challenge in an interview that was one of my first. I wasn't confident when I submitted my work, but the time was up and so there wasn't much to be done.

The rejection was simple. Pure silence. No arguments, or feedback. Just didn't hear nothing back and that didn't help my fresh out of university self-confidence.

Deleted 1000 lines of code that I would need at a later point. Had a mini heart attack once I found out the code was no longer there...

One of my colleagues just tried to deny a buggy code change was his on the grounds that the new code contains logging and he never uses logging.

The more I code the more i realize software was all about people.

How old were you when you wrote your first line of code?
I was 13

My Github account got flagged.. I don't understand why..

I was just trying to push my innocent code..

Deployments, a limerick:

there once was an ops guy from New York,
who was working on deploying a fork.
the docs were weak
the code memory leaked
in a half hour all of production was borked.

So this is the case I have not coded in a long while and was actually starting to miss it. I was LITRALLY considiring starting to code again, then i went on devrant and read about two rants and you know what? Im good i dont wanna start code again

My best code review was when my merge request was accepted in less than a minute after creation. It was simple but I expected more time on review and accept action.

When I was starting programming (learning Actionscript 3) loong time ago I for some reason didnt stubbornly write code into .as files... Instead I just attached code to timeline keyframes in Flash...

Question:
What was the stangest thing what you saw in other's code when you reviewed it?

I never reviewed a simple code, so I am curios 😮

I dated a hooker when I was younger, all she did was put hooks in my code

So, I was fixing some code today, and stumbled upon this. Is it just me, or is this really an example of bad bad practice...? And, no, there was nothing to be executed after this function was called.

The catharsis of deleting code that is difficult to read, clashing with the agony of deleting code that was difficult to write.

Was reading this blog. COBOL started as a low code application for managers to write code in a language close to English.

The more things change, the more they remain retarded.

I refused to learn git till I was asked to test my code.

When I was in high school, I was learning to code on my own. I showed my python code that I was really proud of to the girl I liked. she didn't understand what it is, she thinks its weird, she thinks I'm weird.

She has a point.

So I had to refactor some code that looks like it was written by someone who was getting paid for the number of lines of code.

Worst argument/fight was on a game I was working on.

One of the other devs was waiting for me to write some server Code before calling the endpoints on the client.

After writing the server Code I added the client side Code and committed it to our repo.

They had a massive go at me for doing work for them and threatened to remove my Code and replace it with their own code.

When you're not confidant enough in your own code ... but you should be:

Me: "Why the hell is this duplicating data?!?!?!"

-time passes-

-figures it out-

Me: Wait that returns an error wouldn't that be ...

Yeah there was an error on the god damn screen in the status box I created telling me what was going wrong but I just ignored it... I was knee deep in code and my own UI was telling me what was wrong ;)

There was a "Snake" game on an old windows machine that came with the source code. I was able to tweak the code enough to add interesting twists to the game. From then on I was hooked.

One of our developer told that my code is ugly to our project manager. And my response was 'I know right! By the way your code also sucks. Fair enough.'

If ma code was a salad it would be a chef salad.

Taking over the blog for our companies CSS code as it was unresponsive, due to FIXED values. The fun part was roasting the guy who wrote this before me :p

Did an interview and got some feedback and my coding challenge (I didn't make the cut) . Was surprised at a particular comment on why it was I didn't make the cut and it was about the code not compiling atall. So I went to check the repo and found some code which I oath to have removed lodged into the code base which prevented the reviewer from being able to compile it. How tf it wasn't flagged out when I was compiling before pushing to the repo is beyond me. Now I feel hella stupid and disappointed in myself 🤦🏾‍♀️ (to be fair it wasn't the only reason I didn't make the cut. The code could have being better)

been golanging.

had to check Java code.

was thrown back, like
wait a minute... (visible cofusion)

Sublime Text could've became the greatest and fastest code editor of all time if it was supported with good extensions. Now we're left with electron based code editors that are slow with big projects.