A little bit of Lua in my life
A little bit of Java by my side
A little bit JS is all i need
A little bit of bash is what i see
A little bit of JSON in the sun
A little bit of Python all night long
A little bit of TCL here i am
A little bit of this makes me your dev

Sitting on the bus updating my system.
Random girl: What are you using?
Me: Linux :).
Random girl: Ohh I use Mac, because that doesn't have viruses and can't get hacked!

*me waiting for a cliff to jump off*

Interviewer told me to go to the window and jump.
I jumped in front of the window and came back on my seat

CAN WE JUST MAKE IT ILLEGAL TO LET YOUR ENTIRE PAGE JUMP AROUND BECAUSE THE ADS ARE SO SLOW TO LOAD?

FFS!

!rant
Me and friend1: talking about Linux friend2: "what is this Linux"
Me:"it's an OS"
Friend2:"so it's something like excel and powerpoint."

Unfortunately there wasn't a cliff to jump off in that moment.

If you ever feel you're not self-confident enough, think about the guy who told his manager at Google about the great idea he had been working on: a T-Rex that jump over cactus when there's no internet connection in Chrome.

Whomever at Apple decided that a non-upgradable 8Gb of RAM was OK for a model they call "Pro" can go jump in the nearest active volcano right now!

Product: Hey, this screwdriver feature I never requested isn’t there. Why? Can you fix it? It’s kinda urgent.

Product: @Root please jump on the ticket above … fairly urgent.

Root: It’s Friday, I’m out next week, and I’m working on finishing <urgent comma ticket> right now.

Boss: Work on the screwdriver instead. But make sure you finish the comma ticket too!

Boss: By the way, I volunteered you for eight security reviews next month!

Security: You’re on call for AWS audits next month, too!

To be honest, she warned me that the code was badly written, but...

I’m hopelessly brand loyal at times but after a day with Vim I’ve decided to jump ship. Ciao sublime ✌️

That moment when my boss and I were having a conversation (2 weeks into my new job) and she tells me her daughters name is "Amber" and I jump up with, "oh snap!! That's my dogs name too!!" 😑

> Open Quora
> Read highly upvoted answer that in essence says "ping - t localhost to make internet speed faster by 'sucking the wifi'"
> Realize that senior at office has upvoted it
> Jump out of the window

Since posting your setup is the cool new thing on devrant, I'll jump on the bandwagon!

Stupid fucking project managers, just posting some slurry in Slack:

"User can't get into app!" _sends useless screenshot_

Yeah? And? I have no context on what time this was, what device, where, how, etc. etc. etc. etc. etc.

You want me to just telepathically jump to their location on earth, sniff the electromagnetic spectrum waves to sleuth out what exact requests they made and when to figure out what the problem is?

Just shut up. Shut up

Tester's bug report: "Both bars started to flash and jump like in Harlem Shake."

When pm says jump!
You ask,
From which floor?

Sums up my life...

I heard VS Code is the cool editor now , so I decided to jump on the bandwagon

Bad dev habit to unlearn:

Impostor syndrome before starting a project.

Don't think a lot before diving into a tough project. Just jump in. If you second guess yourself about being ready, you'll never do it. Either you're already good enough or you'll figure out what you need.

I wasted way too much time before starting to write an AI chess engine but it turned out a lot simpler than I expected.

devRant, I love you.

You suggested I learn Java & Nodejs. I decided to jump straight into node & it's just great. I haven't done much, just a mini blockchain and played with packages, but I'm having a lot of fun with node.

Hi

Aaand, I can't even post a rant with so little chars... Yet coworkers and customers find it ok to only write hi and wait for me to respond.. Just write what the fuck you want in one go so I can decide if I really need to jump, or I can get back to this later..

Don't tell me rants can't jump...

!dev

lol I keep getting in trouble over people taking secondhand-offense, and managers keep bringing up the same instances like I’m somehow at fault.

Look, if Alice says something to Bob, and Carol hears it and gets offended on Bob’s behalf, but Bob doesn’t? Carol should jump off a bridge.

Omfg bitcoin is already $ 2.300 and I'm here watching it grow without any money to jump onboard

I'm done with f/e. I so fucking hate it .
I fucking hate implementing weird highly animated websites designed by gurus
I fucking hate making them accessible.
I hate working on weird code generated by my coworkers and jump on projects with 0 specs.
I fucking hate this whole bloatware called javascript.
I fucking hate morons who think they know it all.

I'm fucking disgusted by the job market with their whole job specs ( Oh you don't have 5 year experience in some fucking stupid library I don't give a flying fuck. Too bad, we can't hire you )

And most importantly I fucking hate the day I chose f/e development instead of smth else.

Now at 29 I'm fucking stuck with this shit with no energy and patience to learn something else or at least jump on b/e or anything that is not related to web dev or js.

Sorry for so many fuckings but I had a breakdown.

Love ya.

Never jump on to the framework bandwagon.

Use the frameworks that you really want to use.

I'm looking at you, JavaScript frameworks.

A day of an iOS developer life:
1. XCode crashed
2. XCode freeze
3. XCode "Jump to Definition" takes me to a different file that has the exact same variable name instead of jumping to the top of the file
4. XCode Storyboard designer throwing 1000000000 as UIStackView width on a newly created UIView
5. Heart attack
6. Lots of depression

** Note:
just noticed devRant web has xcode as placeholder in the tags box lol devRant knows my pain T_T

Best:
1. Get into Linux
2. Quit Med studies after 5 years and jump into the IT train.

Worst:
use windows tools to resize partitions on a dual-boot laptop. Lost all my data on Linux parttn. :(

How can those WordPress-Theme-Creator-Bitches write bullshit like "no coding skills required". What the fuck do you say?

Why don't you jump into the Pacific Ocean (no swimming skills required), idiot.

Is it normal for a dad to jump into his son's decisions?
Recently he accepted a job offer that was directed to me. I got mad and asked why on earth he would do that.
He provocatively answered "Who are you to make this decision? I'm allowed to decide over you! Don't be so disrespectful towards your dad!".
If he was not my dad, I would have beaten the shit out of him.
PS: I'm still in college that's why I can't leave atm.

Let me just quickly jump the WordPress wagon.

Fuck WordPress.

C0D4 kinda hangry!
Yes that's a word...... maybe.

Ok, so I'm starting to see memes, memes and more fucking shitty memes, don't we have Reddit for that?

I wonder.. if it's a terrible idea in this day and age to remove the ++ button from meme posts, it would immediately remove the incentive to farm ++ and not contribute other wise, and it's not necessarily penalising them for doing it, it's just not rewarding them...

I know... I'll go jump in my bunker and hide from the riot that will probably begin now.

After years or Windows, I bought a Mac.
It is a shitty OS.

Resizing windows? Nope
Uninstallign apps easy (some) ? Nope
Show/Hide files easy? Nope
Jump between chrome windows? Nope

Wtf is wrong with you Apple?

Professor: Envision a person as an object, what methods would it have?
Student: Run
Prof: Yes, good example.
Other student: Jump
Prof: yes, people also do that
Me: Die
Prof: Well yes, but I'd prefer we don't take this any further

Hate being forced to jump back and forth between mutiple projects that use different languages, syntax, and IDEs. Feels like I'm juggling chainsaws and kittens.

Pro tip of the decade found on quora:
How to beat procrastination?
Start by this :" I will start my work in 5...4...3...2...1" and just jump of the place and go to work

Found out I had two days to write this crap for an 8086 in class. Our instructor doesn't even know assembly. I stopped crying after the tenth jump.

i am a procrastinating asshole. woke up at 7am to do some work, and still, 5 hours later - nothing! i am so pissed of at myself right now. i just want to jump out of my skin and not be me anymore. fuck.

"Dont jump. The bug has been fixed!"
(Plot twist: I'm actually that guy who's gonna jump) lmao

Whats yours?

Saw this today, wanted to play dino jump game

Don't you just love it when this fucker jump scares you at 1 am!

1. attach a debugger
2. create a set of breakpoints
3. perform an action in the UI
4. breakpoint is hit. F9 to jump to another breakpoint
5.
...
.......
...........
................
....................
nothing............
even more of nothing.....
......................................................
6. Kill the app. Restart. Repeat. Nothing again. Repeat it all ~5 times. Give up.
7. Go get some tea.
8. Come back with a cup of hot tea
9. the _next_ breakpoint is now hit (º . º)
10. F9 - yet another breakpoint is hit.

11. contemplate your own mental state, considering the #6

I have a love and hate relationship with programming. You'll see me as the happiest and most motivated person ever. The next minute, you'll see me as an extremely depressed suicidal person. Then when a code works, I jump like hell.

Wordpress.
In my opinion you have to be a psychopath to actually like learning WP at all.
It makes me wanna jump off the closest bridge, taking a header.

Finish programming assignment.

Jump right into 10 page paper with auto correct/spell/grammar check turned off (technical paper, office tries to correct issues that aren't issues).

Finish paper, turn checks back on.

Realize ended all sentences with semicolons.

FML.

He was a nice guy, skilled, reasonable, a lot of knowledge.
Until he said "I'm going to assign a girl to your project, BUT don't worry, she is very good"

I was about to jump, but handshakes and further jokes went on and I wasn't able to speak up.
Plus he is the CEO assigned by the investors to be our new software provider.

Puking.

When working from home, don't attend meetings from ur balcony.

The desire to jump off may kick in.

Shit will hit the fan pretty soon. We're understaffed, the team is all talking about jumping ship and all other teams rely on our work, so if we jump ship, it sinks. It's really amazing that management is unaware or choosing to actively ignore the possibility. Either way, they're fucking up big time. Honestly, if it happens, it will be well deserved, it just sucks for everyone else working under them

Getting bored in quarantine. A few days ago I wrote a script for the chrome dino to jump in PC while I jump holding my phone. Any more fun ideas guys ?

Started new job, its big jump for me in my career. Very much excited. People are also very helpful.

So I got an email from my employer/prof saying that there's a really important software that needs to be installed on a specific server, and it (the email) had all these additional "highly technical" stuff. So I open the link to this software.
.
.
Had to resist a really strong urge to burn myself to ashes, and then go jump off a cliff.
.
.
The website (and the software) is in Comic Sans. 😲

Going to Jump head-on, without a helmet to Linux.
Starting with Linux Mint because I'm a complete noob.
Starting with a Boot from a 64Gb Usb3 very expensive drive.
If I like it... then moving permanently next week.
I'll tell how this noob goes :p

Boss: I want Module 4 (regular complexity) done by tomorrow.
Me: *with not enough experience to get it done within a day. Still does it by staying up all night*

Next Day

Boss: I didn't want this, skip rest of the modules and jump to Module 10 (extremely complex) and I want it tomorrow.

Me: ;_;

Dear Sourcetree,

Crash one more fucking time before I commit and I swear to god I will jump through a fucking moving semi truck.

Switching back and forth between python and VBA for work and private projects is like being forced to use a walker during the day only to jump into the fastest Ferrari straight after work

So I guess I just jump to 64gb then from 16

!rant
@dfox
Any chance the notifs can jump to the relevant item? When someone has commented on a rant I commented on, I want to start looking from that particular comment, not have to go through them all and wonder where the fuck i read last in that thread.

Thank you.

that moment when you jump out of bed and step on a graphic card..

Does sourceforge jump on the very last car of the "microsoft buys github" train?

My cat decided to jump on the PC at 5 AM.

Lesson learned: Never going to put my PC on the desk again.

I see a lot of people with shitty interactions with recruiters, but I have the chance to work with one to get into what I want to do (net ops incident response) if I call this recruiter.

Backstory: friend applied for a position, got offered this morning (not going through a recruiter) AS recruiter called him for another position within same company. Friend explained situation, but said someone (me) might call recruiter to talk.

Job would increase salary by minimum of 25% and is much closer to what I want to do. Even if I'm still on call, it's a larger team and I'm interested in the stuff.

How do I not get screwed by recruiter? And am I am ass for applying when I know it's < 1 year and I'd be leaving my team down 2 people (so at half capacity)? And do I care?

Attendance at the daily standup [related to a project that hasn't even started yet] is mandatory!
What did you work on yesterday?
An unrelated project.
What are you working on today?
An unrelated project.
What are you working on for the next 3-6 months?
You guessed it: An unrelated project.
Any blockers?
This is interfering with an unrelated project, but when Agile says "jump", you say "how high?"!

Me: After 3 days of deliberation, I finally picked a framework, I can jump into the rewrite

*2 hours of inspired coding later

I finished the configuration validation and logging setup! What was that framework again?

It feels great helping people get started with mobile dev 😀 sharing my passion

2017: jump into the near future

AnotherJSFramework.js

So AJSF.js

to all of you out there scared to get into a Dev position because of no formal education:

I don't have any finished formal education, just a bunch of experience from pet projects and free lance here and there. I applied for a position this morning, got an email before the afternoon with an invitation for an interview!

companies are looking for brains, not pieces of paper. just take the jump and try!

Have an 'anger' project open to the side, so when you get annoyed or tired of the paid work, take a quick break and jump into that project to clear your head, even if it is just a simple command line tool, done it before and it's quite a good thing from experience

Just wanted to say hello to everyone! I just joined and I'm excited to jump into this community. :D

This is how I scored my current job.

I worked at a local newspaper as a sole dev. Nobody knew what I did, neither did they care. The job was miserable, and so was I.

A small design bureau I partly knew, had moved into the building. I hang around in their office quite a bit. Not only because they were cool kids to be with, but also because I hated being in my own office.

One thing led to another, as they say. Eventually the design bureau offered me a job. I was too chicken to jump ship atm, so I declined at first. Then the newspaper had to fire people. It was the ultimate time to jump ship. And now I wasn't only offered a job, I was also offered a partner position.

I still feel kinda lonely, as none of the others are so "dev-y". But it sure as hell beats that crappy newspaper!

Think twice code Once, if I had a cent for every time I've jump right into the code without a proper analysis or design just to notice that my whole implementation is not functional or scalable I'd be a millionare

Regarding the Area 51 news. These guys are really stupid. They’ll deservedly got shot soon as they come close enough to the fence, and even if they get over, then what??

Anyone who know anything, knows that you need to spawn a jet pack, get to the second hanger ASAP, and jump in the Rhino. They can’t touch you after that, even with 5 stars!!

I swear I hate seeing these wannabe programmers sharing their shit content on social media. I mean, I respect people who are getting into programming and giving it their best. But one just doesn't write "Fuck Types" when talking about a Dart. I mean, atleast open the introduction page of that language before you jump and start giving people "pro tips". Stop skimming over technologies/languages and dive a bit deep to understand how it works.

Tried getting enough sleep for the Monday and failed miserably.
First, I made my kids washed, like usual, around 6pm. Then tried to put them to sleep. The younger one went to sleep, the older refused. Wanted to play, run, jump, sing and scream. After an half an hour his screaming woke up younger. Now I had two kids to put to sleep back again.
The younger is one year old and requires more attention, otherwise cries.
After serious fight the older was forced to sleep. He tried to jump over me, bite me, kick, hit, eat chocolate, wanted to pee, then jump, run and fight again. I ended up lying him forcibly in the bed, holding his hand by kind of a block, so that he couldn't move to much. Took 15 minutes, but he felt asleep. It was 22. Joys of having 3yo kid.
After more 30 minutes and a bottle of milk the 1yo was sleeping.
At 2am the older woke and cried. I woke, tried to make him calm, he pushed me away and went back to sleep. Now it's 3:40, my sleeping pill wore off, and I won't take another one, because I need to get up at six.

This is how you get a good night's sleep before having a busy week.

Finally made the jump from Windows to a Linux Distro. Literally took me more than a year. Im getting used to it. 🤓

L'appel du vide A.K.A. Call Of The Void.

Urge to do anything that will lead you to certain death for no reason.

Like when you are near a cliff and think "if i jump off i'll die"

or

"if i drop the database, it will die"

That feeling when building and testing on android device takes you 5 mins and then you spend 2 days dealing with Apple's bullshit.

Sexy devices and pretty interfaces but they just looove making devs jump through hoops.

Twitter app update: Home/Search/Notifications/Messages buttons jump from the top of the screen to the bottom. What a productive sprint this must have been at Twitter.

Want to jump to my startup for full time

I thought SQL was supposed to be very easy? I'd like to jump off a balcony right now because of it ...
I don't know if I'm just dumb or if my sources for learning are bad or idk
maybe I'm just tired and dislike SQL

every time i see someone asking how to center a div, someone jump and says : "use bootstrap" arrr

When a ticket comes in I usually jump right on it, get about half way done with it, then either get stuck or it's lunchtime/end of day.

I really should take the gifs advice.

H.R: "How do we make our employees feel like they want to jump from a bridge?"
Random Person: "I know, let's make them use IE!"
Me: Looking up bridges nearby.

Which framework can jump the most?
Java Spring Framework.
Which framework can store hot water?
Python Flask
Which framework is believed to cause extinction of dinosaurs?
Meteor JS
Which script devs like to drink the most?
Coffeescript

It's a shame that to get the job you want you have to jump every few years

My cat's brain is powerful enough to calculate and apply the exact physics of a long jump, with ballistics, flight aerodynamics, dynamic weight distribution using tail as stabilizer, all of that, and land a jump every time without failure.

Yet, it's not powerful enough to realize that can just walk straight through a slightly opened door using her body as a wedge. Or, she can just, you know, push the door open with her paw. When presented with an everyday task that involves physics, she acts like she's nothing but an ethereal ghost and fails miserably.

This makes me think that her jump computer is a very old hardwired part inherited from frogs, honed by evolution and compiled into wetware millions of years ago. Like an ancient analog computer that works flawlessly every time. She has no conscious access to its inner workings. She can use it, sure, but she doesn't understand it.

I wonder how many such parts do us humans posses.

To whatever imbicile cock sucking numbskull at apple, who decided it was a good idea to put an 'Orientation' header in image EXIF data, and then rotating images CAN GO JUMP IN THE NEAREST ACTIVE VOLCANO!

Fucking tutorials that simply skip thing completely.

Like how the fuck am I supposed to know how to run that that shit when you don't even mention how to build it and jump straight to the fucking debugging section.

Fucking hell, relate yourself to the people who'll read your shit, you non empathetic scum

All you fucking dumwits boarding planes.. If the airline starts boarding starting with the seats further in the back and ask only passengers sitting there to queue and board then don't try to jump the fucking queue and board if you have a seat in the front.

Fuck people.

Yeah, I can see you guys are also commenting (t.memeing) about this so may as well jump in the fun too.
Also Im still alive to anyone that may care an atom about it

just had to jump through ALL THE HOOPS to get a kid some help in Canada from the US. I can't believe the bullshit involved in reporting child abuse when the victim's in another country... why is there no standard for that? Why does Canada have IP and phone number filters for reporting abuse? Long-distance abuse reports do happen, it's not unheard of at all, so why the fuck would you actively prevent that?

Watching tutorials in youtube.

- I know what he's gonna type.
- press right arrow to skip 5sec
- youtube buffers the time jump for 7 secs

.. Bad time investment...

2 colleagues just had a meeting with the CEO and the meeting just ended:

Colleague 1: "I'm gonna jump out of the window"
Colleague 2: "Make sure to land on your head"

Must have been a very productive meeting.

Finally going to jump into Visual Studio. Let's see how good it is.

Why are take-home assessments such a god damn waste of my fucking time, either interview me and tell me I have the fucking job or don't. You're not fucking google so don't make me jump through a bunch of hoops for nothing.

Focus of mastering one language, don't jump around to every web langue out there.

Also don't follow the programming language band wagon. Focus and master the basics first HTML, CSS, Jquery. These aren't going anywhere and a SOLID understanding of JavaScript will go WAY further then you think

I used to be in an infrastructure maintenance team, and I worked with an old guy. We had a jump box we all used. This guy would work weekend maintenance windows and still be trying to get changes done at 7am, three hours after the end of the window. He was glacially slow. I remember watching him login to a prod weblogic server. He would open the Windows start menu, move his fucking mouse through two or three submenus, and finally click putty. Then, he would type out the FQDN of the jump server, and move his mouse to the connect/ok button. Then it would prompt him for his username and password, both of which took him about 90 seconds to single-finger type. Then, once loved into the jump box, he would then type ssh user@server.fqdn, rather than copying and pasting the server name.

It took him fully five minutes to get logged into the weblogic server. I could not take it. It would have taken me about ten seconds.

Have you ever flown a plane? No? Well I need you to get in the lab today and test out these high level requirements, you should pick up on it pretty fast....

The lab looks like NASA flight control and has everything a cockpit has, sure I can just jump right on it and do my thing.

This should be fun 😅

SINGLE

RESPONSIBILITY

FUNCTIONS

HOLY GARBAGE UNTESTABLE DIFFICULT TO DEBUG JFC SHIT.

FUNCTIONS DO ONE THING AND DO ONE THING WELL. LEARN IT, LIVE IT, LOVE IT, OR JUMP INTO A LAKE

that is all.

Me: Ok, lets jump back into my linux install

*Turns on PC and instantly boots into windows*

Me: Hm, that's odd, maybe I accidentally changed my boot order

*Opens BIOS and sees Windows SSD is first followed by Empty SSD...*

Me: *Cries in the corner realising I have just accidentally removed the Linux SSD and put it back in to try and install MacOS*

To the cunts that build ‘news’ stories with an ad block every few paragraphs, but don’t define the space in which they sit so whilst you are reading the text will suddenly jump as the ad is loaded, this continues as you scroll down the page. Just fucking stop it!

Having to use BlueJ makes me want to jump off a bridge. :)

Stupid fucking editor tells me I have errors in my code, even though it compiles without problems using the Java command.

Call me crazy, but I'm pretty sure no java code should be able to jump from the if block to the else block, and then back to the if statement, ahen trying to initialize an object

When you're in the middle of a big-ass project and have to stave off the temptation to jump into a "mini project" you've been fantasising about...

The best QA in the world is your boss. He always jump in and ask you to show him something that is not completed yet. He then acts like a professional and points out the red is not red enough... You have no word, mark down all the design changes, pass a message to designer, and then, finally, You forgot what's going on in your mind!!! And it takes another hour for you to resume your memory back....

How annoying are video tutorials!!! You lose a lot of time trying to find the interesting point. If you jump over the video you will end losing the point and playing backwards...

Raaaaaaaahhhhh! Danced the whole night until 5:30 on some beautiful playlist on Spotify and then it happened. I wanted the lyrics of a song so I Google it and clicked on a f-ing sportify link in search results. You cancerous cunts. Can't find that playlist back. Raaaaahhh. At least I got one desperado left, got that going on. Almost morning again. Not allowed to f-ing drive. I'll crawl to the f-ing shop to continue the party. Done writing for the week. I'll jump and drink until Monday 7:00 AM

The hardest part of programming, for me, is sitting down and making things happen. (Mainly because I like to just jump in with no planning).

This weather makes me wanna jump off a roof.
Fucking hell it's so depressing when you wake up and the first thing you see outside is just, grey, dark.
And then it fucking starts hailing.

Finally making the jump from Ubuntu 14.04 to 16.04.

Forced to upgrade to 15.10 first, because reasons.

!rant

When smaller web sweatshops try to under-quote to get your client to jump ship.

Boy, oh boy! They are in for a nasty surprise. Good luck fellas!

Visual studio intellisense is going to make me commit bridge jump

In HTML, it's changing "id" to "itemid" ???

In JavaScript, it's changing document.getElementById and document.querySelectorAll to documentgetElementById and documentquerySelectorAll ????

What the fuck is this horse shit. It's only getting worse and worse. It's like Mt. Saint Helen blew up 5 minutes ago, they updated the system, and accidentally set off the Yellowstone Giga-volcano. Fuck you, william gates.

Just going through Google AdMobs docs for integrating Facebook plugin via Mediation and holy shit I'd rather jump on nasty cactuses than to go through all those steps 😫

I always jump into discussions and try to prove that my hypothesis is right. And then some one proves that I am wrong. Thats how I learn.

PM: If the client says jump, hide. I'll let them know that there was a problem with the jump but it's all sorted now. Hopefully they won't ask again. I'll schedule the actual jump in for next week but if anyone asks in the meantime tell them it's done but is just undergoing final testing.

Great mixed metaphor heard in a conference call with a client recently:

“That’s a can of worms I’m not willing to jump down into”

When you have no idea how to make the jump to real world programs because you are self-taught.

After all those years, I finally understood what makes Half-Life 2 so immersive.

From the very beginning, as the game teaches you things about itself, you discover that every model is made with you in mind. The barrel is just tall enough to jump on it, but not taller. The big crate's size is calculated precisely for you to jump onto it from a small crate. Ladders are comfortable for you to climb on. Everything in this game world designed around you, the human.

…except for combine constructions.

They're awkward to walk around. You keep lowkey clipping into them. Half-transparent armor fence looks like you can jump over it, but you can't. It's just a bit taller than that, on purpose. Combine towers are hard to climb onto. You keep bumping into things. Once you locate the ladder and climb all the way up, you bump your head into the ceiling. You don't have much room for movement on top. Combine walls have an inconclusive, uncomfortable physics model that is very annoying to interact with. If you run into it and jump, you clip into it just enough to stop your movement instantly.

This hammers in the message — combines aren't human. Their constructions aren't meant for humans. This was my biggest discovery the last time I played Half-Life 2.

HL2 is a strong contender to be my favorite game of all time.

Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building? Of course. The Empire State Building can't jump.

Linux mint is being a little shit. I can't safely eject my flash drive without "emptying the trash?!!!!" I don't remember if previous versions were more stable. This isn't the first time dumb shit stopped working. Should I install an old version or jump distros?

I've tried languages
In count three dozen
But there's only one that doesn't
Stack up against the rest
Of course the one I think is best
It makes me jump and smile with glee
It is in fact
PHP

For everyone, who uses any IntelliJ based IDE: Ctrl + Click on a method or variable, you will see all uses of that var or method. If you are clicking a usage of it you will jump to the method reference, even from libraries or for example from the Java runtime library.

Many of them. Can't decide which one is the biggest.
- when the asshole in front of me picks up a call and is loud as hell. Wanna kick his nuts.
- Chats. Hangouts. Whatsapp. Just name it.
- retards who don't​ know how to google something or even worse..what to google and come straight to me to get a solution.
- My own fucking head at times. You start talking about space tech and i'll have to jump into it. And i end up wasting half an hour.

Very soon I am going to do the following things,

- leave the working and high paying world
- build another startup from scratch
- jump into a very new and controversial industry
- fight against extreme misinformation and prejudice in the above industry
- build some amazing technology that I hope will actually help people
- finally, publicly be my real and genuine self

I am both very frightened and very excited.

Trending more and more toward excited every day.

Can you relate to that? Then let’s chat on the comments!

My school love. While she was laying on my bed inside two giant wallets — one for the head and one for the body — she explained the following:
- how to find the nearest McDonald’s when McDonald’s ceases to exist
- how to do a super long jump in Nintendo DS Pokémon games
- why a person turned into blur usually achieves more

"Jump ship!" "GEt oUtTa thEre!" "LoOk fer anOtheR jOb!"
Every fucking rant about bad work environment has those mudafucking answers LIKE THE PERSON DID NOT THINK ABOUT THAT.
Come on man, at least acknowledge the obviousness of your comment by adding a "I know you probably thought about this but...".
It'd be better if you could stop contaminating the comments with such fucking obviousness altogether though.

Decided to jump into the machine learning bandwagon and picked up a few books and some online courses. I already feel way out of my depth.

I admit i don't like JavaScript... not one bit and mainly because it is not strongly typed. The idea of Typescript is interesting.
Anyways, i decided to jump in and learn Angular... So do you guys have any advice for me?

TL;DR: my boss is a dick and I don't know what to do.

Been working at the company for a month now, I enjoy the atmosphere and the culture (startup btw) but I really cannot stand my superior - there's only two of us in the team. Any screw up he blames it on me without a second thought. First week in he assigned their new website project to me and honestly they have quite unrealistic deadlines. I mean they didn't even have the infrastructure for it nor the manpower to build one yet it needs to be finished by the end of this month. On top of that the spec keeps changing literally every 2-3 hours.

Also since I've forgotten to mention the guy I'm working under is one of the founders so I can't really go and talk to someone about it. I feel pretty screwed over, anyone has any advice or been in a situation like this? Is it too early to quit?

Absolute hate for clients who just go about “I want it today” and not realise or understand that it’s them who need to sort out their issues before we can do our part.

The worst part is that my project manager remembers nothing so I have to jump into these discussions and raise issues.

Oh boy!

Aren't we off to a fucking great start, first turn on my Xbox and it keeps overheating...

Ok I'll leave it for a bit and just jump on my PC and do some work but nooooooooo. Boot it up and it fucking hangs on an A2 boot code (Drive issue), unplugged every drive and look at that, still on fucking A2...

I do not need this right now. Can't afford a new fucking PC if this one is going to be fucking up like this -,-

You’re know you’re screwed when you get pulled into a project you weren’t involved with in the beginning, and coz of tight timelines they tell you “it’s time to jump and swim now”
FML

I've been writing Java the last few days. Really makes me remember why I enjoy writing objective c / swift so much. It's not necessarily the crazy syntax of objective c. It's the conventions behind the languages. It's very easy to make your code read like prose. Which when you become used to this it's very hard to jump back into spaghetti code with abbreviated variable names and such.

Every time i take a shit i feel like i lose 30 kg weight and can jump so high i can almost fly. Almost as if gravity = 0;

After a long day working...how about captain morgan with coke and a bungee jump?

In the beginning of October, I was around 9% of the dev team. Now with some firing & people leaving, I'm 50% of the dev team.

It might be time to jump ship

Cat just attacked my keyboard, which was quite funny. Took some pics and entertained it for a bit.

Then I looked at my IDE.

Lost all of today's work because the cat somehow managed to press keys to delete it and then type enough that undo won't recover my code...

That cat is my arch nemesis now... And then it tried to jump back on, which I put a swift end to.

😭😭😭

Customer to me: "This should be right aligned, not left aligned. We need a fix on this 10 year old version, it's a blocker we can't do any work without it!"

Me to customer: "No. Not a blocker, minor change. We'll look at it next minor version."

Customer to boss: <repeat above>

Boss to me: "This is a blocker, check out the code and fix it today!"

FUUUUUUUUCK!
Minor stylistic changes are not goddamned fucking blockers!

I call this the "Jump; No; Boss Jump; Fuck!" effect.

Not really a dev question and was my first interview in a super day (meet with lots of teams) during college.

They're interviewing everyone in short sessions in a large conference room on the 20th floor, with floor to ceiling windows.

Interviewer takes me towards a window and says: would you be willing to jump from here?

Me: uh... No?

I: well I can, here let me show you.

Takes a step onto the ledge in front of the window, turns around and jumps off it.

Company paid 1,500 usd per laptop (dell somethings) for them to just be azure access clients

We can't use outlook or teams. Or even IDEs on them to take advantage of the really good cpu and ram. We have to use the OTHER company device for that stuff

Ohhh and all our azure stuff is getting mac restricted so only the new laptops can access so basically forced to jump back and forth all damn day

Sometimes I feel companies enjoy wasting money

So just sitting here watching my windows VM's cpu usage to monitor was seems to be causing some stuttering and then out of fucking nowhere the default photo's app pops and and claims 96% of the CPU...

I understand computers are weird but how the hell does an app randomly start and jump to such a high CPU usage?

How f*cked does a code base have to be until you jump ship? I got a new job recently and been working there for about 4 months. It's a big company and there's ways to move around internally.. but holy cow the code is bad. It almost seems beyond the point of no return... Almost like a totaled car.

Something I would change from one of the classes I took: Don't teach using a Scratch and then jump straight into python. It would have been a lot easier to just start at python. The only reason I would teach scratch is for a kid who knows absolutely nothing about how a computer works

I have what I hope to be the final 'final' interview for a new job tomorrow. So many hoops to jump through. At least I know the company has a thorough hiring process! It really cannot come fast enough

Jump to new projects without completing previous ones

Pet peeve of the day: Open source software that shouts about all the benefits of being freely available to everyone, open, loving the community, etc. - but the moment you install it you have to jump through a bunch of hoops to avoid making a hefty donation or buying a license.

If you're aiming to be a corporate overlord, at least admit to it and don't play all your marketing on the open source aspect.

Fuck, some feature requests seriously…

I’m sorry but this business app is being built for adults. I’m sorry if that doesn’t accommodate all users.

I'm learning Vue.js at home but I'm forced to learn Knockout.js at work because of legacy code. Makes me want to jump out a window.

As a developer you have a surreal ability to plan the future and you are able to do it even in non-IT related areas of your life. Am I right?

Then, tell me, how many times have you died in your head thinking about "I could just jump here", "if I turn right that truck will definitely crush me", "well, that structure could collapse, how to survive if it happens?". ?

If I send you an update and you start writing a response with: "Actually, I just tried this in IE..."—follow these steps:

1) Stop typing.
2) Step away from your desk
3) Jump off of a bridge

Positively accepting criticism is a superpower I hope to acquire one day. As in jump in joy and violently smile when they say my code is shit level of positive acceptance.

I don't really hate or reject criticism. I am simply saddened by it, on a good day.

so yes, if you have this superpower, where's the source?

So I’m like 90% certain 10% of my app should be event sourced, and the other 90% CRUD based (but event driven).

However after trying to tackle this from a variety of angles I’m 100% ready to jump off a building

So I’m taking a break and eating a fucking donut

35y/o and a child (well, 2 soon), experienced as an integration dev (not my dream job tho), scripted a lot as a devops engineer (bash, py).

My heart says "jump deeper into devops and/or py", but my imposter syndrome infested brain says it might be too late and that after 10 years in IT it's time to navigate more into management/architect role (mostly because I've seen a lot of people around me follow this path).

Thoughts?

Freshly failed gloriously my degree in interaction design. Now I stumbled into a new job, doing a fullscale company advertisment campaign on cybersecurity for 6500 employees. Alone. Writing concept, gathering stakeholder, requirements and shit. I'm scared.

DevRant is starting to look more like a shitty fucking combination of Pinterest/Instagram to me.

Everybody's taking memes/pics out of other sites and upload it here, as if we devs don't follow meme sites ourselves.

It adds scrolling length for no reason, but if you say something about it, incels jump in be like "wHy iS tHeRe aN oPtIoN tO uPlOaD tHeN".

My manager keeps pretending to punch me in the groin when I walk past. This happens at least once on every shift. I have asked him to stop doing it more than once, as it makes me jump back and I suffer from a back injury, so it can be quite painful. He laughs about it when he does it, and I am sure he does it in jest, but he refuses to stop doing it. He simply laughs and says he would never actually hit me there, but it’s automatic to jump back out the way.

My friend who is a store manager in another store informs me that because of where he aims, it can be deemed as sexual harassment. Is this the case and what is the way forward?

Hey guys! Finally decided to jump on board! This is my first rant so go easy.

Working on a project were some freedom of choice is allowed and thinking about using polymer to create a wordpress theme... Is this a good idea or a terrible one?
😕

Being a programmer or dev is a lot like being a chef: (I've done both)
Sure it's something anyone can just jump in on with minimal experience, and probably make a little thing that kinda looks cool to the layman, but it takes experience and hard lessons to make something that will impress the judges.

Not exactly a co-worker, but another student at my data structure class, the guy freaked me out, he would stand up in the middle of the class whenever he finished the assignment first and walk around like he was about to jump.
I did beat him the first time though and that's when I noticed it was like a race for him, I still fear he will end me for that.

Yeah, I like React that much, how could you tell?

Jump start into making a project from the new technology and stackoverflow how to do anything.

Something about my experience in a startup that I co-founded as a developer is that I feel like everyone always depends on me for almost everything. So when I just want to jump in and code, I have to be worried about who's gonna call me for what tedious reason. It really gets to me.

!$rant

Well after a nice saturday of no coding it's time to jump back into it :)

When...
- you start the day with good intentions.
- you want to fix some long-due issue
- you think: I'll google it and I'll solve it. What can it be? I just want to track correctly my subdomains with all-mighty Google Analytics

and the first answer you find is:
"Unfortunately, Google Analytics has a few hoops to jump ...blablabla More unfortunately, the Google Analytics documentation is unclear ...blabla"
and 20 more pages of blog.

Fuck.
Let's skip to the next good intention before the day turns bad

hey devs, quick question:
does rust support branchless conditionnals and jump tables, and if yes where to look for syntax?

i found no example for branchless so far and jump tables are scary in rust (and i need a library to use them, it seems).

inb4 "why in the hell/ what possible use those have?!":
i use branchless to make a looping array and jump tables whenever there's more than 4 if statements with equal probability, and the deciding factor is a numeric value, so quite often.

my co-worker (data entry) doesn't know what an hdmi looks like... so she's brining in her laptop tomorrow for me to tell her which port is hdmi so she can hook it up to her tv at home

She's only in like her 40's so that seems kinda weird to me she doesn't know what an hdmi looks like I showed her the hdmi on my computer and she thought it was the 'jump drive' port

It takes courage to use npm as a product. The inability of its leader, Isaac Schlueter, to communicate the reasoning behind decisions pose a risk as a choice for long term toolchain.

My company will move to yarn for now and jump ship to Deno as soon as it reaches all of my check marks.

"Standup" meetings are based on the assumption that standing up gets uncomfortable after a while. In our team however, the meetings are not getting any briefer, we are just getting fitter. Perhaps we should introduce some more uncomfortable position, such as jump-up-and-down daily scrums, or yoga daily scrums.

Everytime when there is a compilation, rendering, downloading goin on... I jump around the house like an idiot....

Write down the song you're currently listening to as a function/method call

I'll start with with this one

jump(us) // Let's jump

When late night game development devolves into lengthy all caps comments of All American Rejects lyrics... And a malfunctioning jump script.

must jump off the extreme heights and develop the wings while falling all the way down

Was looking to do a game collaboration as I can't build most of the ideas I have on my own and as always get stuck with people not being as knowledgeable and not making anything of people who are knowledgeable but look at other devs like scum, and then artists are never just willing to jump on board to make a game with 1 programmer... UGH!

Still on the fence: to jump to the dark side and become a consultant - or stay where I’m at. There be cookies on both sides. And now there be offers aplenty as well…

To stay and do DevSecOps and refactoring (and hopefully in the future rearchitecting) in an environment I’m very damn comfortable in or jump into the unknown (tho into any of the few tech companies I have a positive image of) to become a cloud consultant? Or to work with F#? Or to the EV industry? So many options…

I’m spoiled with choices and I don’t like that.

Guys, do you agree that C++ is getting overly complicated following the updated versions?

At times I wonder whether I should leave C++ and jump to python as my goto programming language.

Our production server has huge memory shortage so I have to jump trough a lot of mod_rewrite optimising hoops to keep it running because no time to configure a new server...

When you use Git for the first time and your project from 29 commit jump to 62 for continous error with Pull Request.

Of this new 33 commit, only 3 are REAL commit.

Four hour for reset and fix all The master branch.

But finally all is fixed and i've learned more on Git... (?)

When do you stop classifying yourself as a junior developer and make the jump forward to mid level, then onto senior? What experience level / years working in the industry

Imagine a billion-dollar company fails to think of putting a simple "jump to page number" feature in their PDF reader.

Google Drive PDF reader for Android.

Well sure, right after I get my first 150 ++'s, I get another post with almost 150... I guess the jump start is the worst part

Pro tip: don’t accept a meeting with a potential employer for the beginning of your holidays (I know, ’muricans, you don’t get this concept where basically everyone taked paid vacation for several weeks during summer) so that you’ll end up thinking about whether to jump ship or not for most of your holidays, effectively ruining your time to potentially relax for you.

Just don’t do it.

Dear other coders.. i press my enter key quite frequently. You do so, too.

Please don't make windows that jump into focus out of nowhere, asking me something important. I won't be able to read it and I'll just accept the default action, because I'll coincidentally press enter when your dialog spawns 100% of the time.

Thanks,
Someone like you.

When you spend weeks working on a new codebase in Python and you have to jump into the legacy PHP one to fix something nasty

Can we normalize NOT using giant acronyms in GitHub issue threads? Nobody understands what you are saying.

The same goes for you, HackerNews users, we can't psychically jump into your ASCII LOL DDD ABC XYZ brain and automatically know what you mean.

Let's just jump into it guys

So 90% of the Tech Support team is off today. So I decided to jump in to help the guys out:

Me: *solves issue
(one less ticket to solve)
Reporter: "thank you for your help!"
(re-opens the ticket)
Me: *recloses the ticket
Reporter: "thanks again"
(Reopens ticket)
Me: smashes head into desk

How am I supposed to get tickets solved when most of the open tickets are "thank you's"!

It always amuses me when companies pay only "competitively", don't create a good working culture and then complain about high turnover. Money pays bills no matter what. Employees don't jump (easily) to other jobs when the pay isn't significant better. But if your culture is toxic, employees even take a paycut just to get out.