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Friend: Man you're a programmer why aren't you a billionaire already like the others??
Me: It's not that easy believe me.
Friend: I have a great idea for an app something like facebook...can be that hard?
Me: :/
Friend: you could do that instead of your no pay opensource shit...
Me: FUCK YOU AND YOUR STUPID BULLLLLSHIT GO FUCKING DIE YOU PIECE OF SHIT !!!! YOU HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE ..STUPID SON OF A BITCH.32 -
4+ years of programming.
Still have no clue how to make my own regex pattern.
Every single time I need to, I always open 4 cheat sheets and/or stackoverflow.24 -
When they expect you to construct something which was defined just by a name, and you have absolutely no clue..:
4 -
the advantage of dating a non-dev: she thinks I'm incredibly smart when I describe what I'm working on, when in reality I have no clue what I'm doing 🙃12
-
Me: good morning, what can I help you with?
Client: I THINK REMOVED SOMETHING AND NOW ALL MY EMAIL IS GONE. HELP.
M: okay sir, do you have the domain for m....
C: HEY WAIT IT'S BACK NEVER MIND THANKS BYE
M: Oh tha....
*click*
😆5 -
!dev
Knocked over a beer bottle with my hand and caught it mid-flight.
Felt like a fucking ninja.
No clue why I'm sharing this but goddamn that was good.3 -
Was at a friends place recently and he asked me to set a new WiFi password. Fair enough!
Me: what's the routers login?
He: Oo. No clue.
*me trying a few combinations*
*hmmm not working let's try one more time*
Router: you have entered the wrong credentials five times. Fill in a new password to regain access!
😵😨😧😱😷😲19 -
Teacher : Explain two parallel lines.
Me : Lines that never intersect
Teacher : Good. Can u explain it with an example.
Me : Me and my crush.
*Whole class laughing, still don't have a clue what I said wrong. That's as real as it fucking gets.*
Fucking education system. No real world examples.3 -
Just a personal thing (and no clue why) but I can't fucking stand it when people say www. in front of their domains.
Working as a Linux + support engineer, I get quite some calls where people have to give me the domain they're calling about.
"what's the domain if I may ask?"
"oh that's www.theirdomain.com!"
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE JUST SAY THE DOMAIN, WWW. IS *NOT* PART OF IT, IT'S JUST A FUCKING SUBDOMAIN 😤18 -
Working on a fuck off/you message service. You can easily generate a fuck off/you message and send it to someone.
No clue why I've (nearly) made it, maybe because I'm sick at home and wanted to make something.
It's nearly working though, yay.16 -
Alright, it's not perfect yet, only one post exists and the anonymous analytics are hardly working. Next to that I'm tired as fuck and need to go to bed so fuck it, here we go:
https://much-security.nl
There's not much yet, just one tiny post :)
I have no clue if it will work or crash but I think it'll handle well enough 😅
If you'd find any security issues, please don't exploit them, just report them and I'll take a look asap!
Thanks!44 -
I am officially my Manager's own personal google.
"What is the Wifi Password?"
"I can't print this, can you help?"
"How do I switch keyboard layout?"
"How do I turn on the computer?"
"How do I close the door of my office?"
Soon she's going to call me "Ok Google, <stupid question>"10 -
FUCK CSS!
I spend more time positioning a single button than learning a frickin framework!
I gave up trying to make a div the same height as its parent. No clue why height:100%; doesn't work!20 -
"Schrödingers CPU": When your processor randomly and for no apparent reason spins up to 100% and brings the whole system to a halt. Bringing up task manager takes forever,
and when it finally appears so you could see what process is the culprit, it quickly drops back to normal again leaving you with no clue on what happened.7 -
!dev
I find it funny to see how people very often go into defense mode (of those companies) when I call them (a select amount of companies) mass surveillance companies.
I mean, when you search for the definition of a surveillance compatible (or, surveillance) and see what those companies (Google, Microsoft, Facebook, Twitter, AOL, Yahoo, Paltalk), it outright matches that of (a) surveillance company/companies.
Then, when you look at the scale they perform this at (mass scale, mass amount of people/users), it fits the definition of a mass surveillance company...
No matter how you turn it, those companies are, per definition, (mass) surveillance companies (apart from the fact that they're integrated within worlds biggest created government powered mass surveillance program ever).3 -
HUGE FUCKING DILEMMA FOR ME.
I will probably get the chance of choosing a company phone soon (as in, next few days).
Option 1: Android - not allowed to root or anything crazy so I'll have a partly open system but with google tracking fully enabled at all times (most probably).
Option 2: iOS - Also not allowed to jailbreak or anything 'weird' but it's entirely closed source. Although no Google tracking shit.
I honestly have no clue what to choose.
Halp.105 -
What the fuck, it says on both my LinkedIn profile and on my CV that I'm a student but I can take on part time projects, and I also told a recruiter the same thing over phone (after he found me on LinkedIn).
Today I had lunch with said recruiter. Guess who had no clue I was a student?
9 -
Teacher: Computer settings are stored in the ROM on the motherboard.
Me: *internally* Uhm, yea, sure... and I am the pope
Me: Sorry to interrupt you but how come the BIOS settings get reset when the CMOS battery is pulled out or dies if they are stored in ROM?
Teacher: ....
Me: *internally* yea, that's what I thought, you have no clue what you are even saying - the BIOS is stored in ROM or flash memory while the settings are stored in NVRAM also called CMOS memory...10 -
Someone wrote a piece of code half a year ago. It's fuckin complex and recursive. And uncommented. Today it's my job to figure out WHY and HOW it works.
If it wasn't clear before, that someone who wrote it was me. I'm not sure if I was on some substances back then, but that shit is fast and I have no clue how I was able to create it. Perhaps it was the coffee overdose...
However, wish me luck figuring this thing out.5 -
When I'm proud of the new function I invented and have no clue how anybody will get a use of it...
The world is just not ready for this
2 -
The corporate cunts have no clue how manufacturing facilities work. They decided to roll out major changes to their financial systems that control how workers report their hours.
They decide that Dec 29th is a good idea. We are a 24/7 operation and the last 3 days of the year are the busiest time of the year by far trying to meet quotas.
Even today they are trying to finish functionality and are unsure how certain parts will work. This will be a disaster. -
First tor relay is up and running. Works well, all good.
Want a faster one as well (nearly 1gbs) and trying to set it up but the control port won't get its fucking ass up. No clue what's going wrong :/
Probably missing something but idk what.
Grrrrrr.15 -
Neat. My StackOverflow reputation dropped like 1k points or more since I last checked ~six months ago.
No clue why.
(Also don't care.)17 -
I'm actually starting to search for a new job and no clue about this so I'll just sit by and watch 😇13
-
Have to do a programming task in 6 days, for an internship I applied for.
Have no clue how to do it. Guess I'll have a nice week learning stuff 😁
5 -
Today the lead developer and I where loling and wtfing hard to the following code:
if ($looked_column == true)
{
$trunca = 1;
}
else
{
$trunca = 1;
}
Mind you, we had no clue why he named the variable $trunca, and even then it had been set at the top of the file as 1 to begin with....was never used up to this line and $looked_column had also a set to true.
This is why a lot of people give php a bad reputation. This right here is why people make fun of php......15 -
For the love of God use descriptive variable names. I dont care if it is 15 characters long instead of 5. Besides any halfway modern IDE does auto completion.
"tTime" is not helpful. Target time? Test time? Total time? Tea time? Turtle Timmy? No clue...21 -
It's vacation for me for two weeks of which one week will be a vacation outside the country and one will be home-time.
Will work on redesigning my entire server 'infrastructure' and an automated website/openvpn/whateverthefuckiwanttodeployorwhatever system solely written in bash/shell scripting.
Partly because it's awesome to learn new Linux-related stuff and partly because I really want to have this functionality and would love to write it myself.
Also working on three side projects of which two will become a service and one will be released into the open :)
But, tomorrow will be dancing my ass off to quite some of my favourite producers :D8 -
Currently getting into Machine Learning and working on a joke-project to identify the main programming language of GitHub repositories based on commit messages. For half of the commits, the language is predicted correctly out of 53 possible languages. Which is not too bad given the fact that I have no clue what I'm doing...
9 -
God damnit, I have this too often. Something works in my mind no matter how often I run through it again and again but I've got no clue how to test it for real which brings me into a "mental deadlock" state aaaand then I lose all my programming motivation at once.
Having this right now, fucking annoying.10 -
"Why are these guys faster than us at development?"
"The company that has received millions in investment and has a bigger development team? Yeah no clue man, I guess they are just better than us."4 -
- Project for a 40+b$ company.
- No business analysis.
- Only some 64 pages tech paper dividing the project in 4 iterations (pretty well written).
- « Please estimate the first iteration ».
- Can we do it in 2 weeks? Only items in first iteration, I think we can but we need a BA before we accept the project.
- Confirmed by senior dev front. 10 days, says we need a BA before we accept.
- Confirmed by senior dev back. 12 days, says we need a BA before we accept.
- UX/UI senior designer says he can't estimate such a technical, says we defo need a BA before any estimations.
PM, who is actually the department manager, says OK we can do it. No BA and estimations are halved, UI/UX 2 days.
He fucking signs the contract.
SURPRISE MOTHERFUCKER, WE NEED STUFF FROM FUTURE ITERATIONS IF WE DON'T WANT TO THROW AWAY ALL THE FIRST ITER WORK.
PROJECT BECOME A CLUSTERFUCK.
NOBODY UNDERSTANDS ANYTHING. THE CLIENT HAS NO CLUE EITHER.
The fucking dep. mgr assigns another PM and says he don't have time anymore.
NOBODY HAS A CLUE WHAT THE PROJECT IS AT THIS POINT.
We have 3 days left.
Whole team came to a conclusion: the only sane thing to do is to give our grouped resignation letters.
Thanks. It was fun while it lasted. Your dep. can go to hell.5 -
What the fuck Apple, I thought selling a monitor stand separately at £999 was bad, £360 for putting fucking wheels on your Mac Pro, fuck me.
I had no fucking clue how to tag this, hence why it’s got 3 categories to it
11 -
Got a question for the linuxers.
I'm a linuxer myself (no shit) but I don't really tweak a lot. Whenever I see those awesome arch setups with tiling wm's etc (https://devrant.com/rants/1902395/ for example), I would love to set that up myself but one thing:
Any idea on how I'd be able to run this well with 6 screens? I've got genuinely no clue.22 -
Have I? You're asking me?
I have no fucking clue Lync, I don't see anything. Why don't you tell me if I have ... and then where it is!
1 -
A classmate of mine had the task to align some content on a page to the center using CSS (using margins)
That classmate has no fucking clue because she pays no attention.
font:10px;
was the only thing she wrote into the text file that was projected onto the whiteboard.
The teachers asked: "What does font stand for?"
Her reply: "Uuuuuuh... Position?"
Kill. Me.8 -
So im trying to learn to install arch Linux and it's safe to say... I have no fucking clue what in doing :-D9
-
me: "hey look, something new and awesome I could use in my projects!" (WebAssembly in this case)
also me: "I HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE WHAT I WOULD USE THIS FOR"3 -
Teacher who has no clue how to even turn on a computer asked me to connect a JBL Go Bluetooth speaker to a notebook. 1st attempt: Driver error; 2nd attenpt: BSOD 😶 Lenovo notebook with Win 8.1 + bluetooth speaker = BSOD... Ok...
1 -
When you reboot your server and on boot it asks for the hdd encrypted password. I have no clue anymore. Oh how fucking happy I am that we have no users yet and are in closed alpha. Happy to learn this now so I'll never make this mistake again. 😨3
-
Hmmm there are several
Senior dev would leave for weeks(he was company co owner) and would blame shit not being done on me even though he gave me no access to his codebase. Shit back fired right in his face.
Senior dev called me an idiot(different company) for stating that I learned about MVC from Rails. I have no clue what triggered that reaction, but the way he said it really ticked me off. It was on a remote position, left soon, the dude was s cunt.
Next goes for my office: we yell random shit all the time, from racist to sexist to all around disturbing because we are constantly unsupervised.
Head of department knows:P he laughs with us. -
*has an appointment to get a new home supervisor*
Management lass: Just so you know, you shouldn't talk about technology to your new home supervisor. She has no clue about it.
I love that new home supervisor already...4 -
Some time ago I had ordered a LCD display I wanted to use in a project. Ended up with a vague datasheet and no clue of how to use a 8bit parallel interface. There was also little help on the internet cuz most ppl use a serial interface.
So after HOURS of reading I finally managed to get it to display something!
I sometimes wish some stuff was better documented.
12 -
So we have this HUGE ass project , really challenging , that my boss and "PM" have been meeting with the client for months now...
I got on board , guess what?
NO ONE HAVE A FUCKING CLUE ON WHAT THE FUCK THEY WANT!!!!!
ALL FUCKING GENERIC REQUIREMENTS!!! WHAT THE FUUUCK!!!
[ insert fucking pitch screaming!!!! ]
FUUUUUUUUUUCK YOU!1 -
I've been guessing all regex's in my past projects... If I'd be in a regex written exam, I'd be a goner.
ヽ（・＿・；)ノ7 -
Oh boy. Gotta love having a team member (For a School project) be in charge of the Database functionality/design, who has almost no communication skills and basically no clue about how to store data in a data base.
Im talking dates stored as varchar(5), column sizes being way way to small, overall table design being rather terrible, no primary/foreign keys, pretty much... Actually no, everything was being stored as a varchar.
Not only that, but there was a hell lot of data that needed to be stored that wasn't even accounted for in the DB design. He made some code that could be used by our team members for queries, creating tables, inserting data (etc), almost 2,000 lines of it.... And basically nothing was fucking documented at all. I'm talking comments like "Insert data into cities table" and nothing else. More complicated functions had as much, or less documentation. Complete mess.2 -
the most incompetent person that ever worked with me had no proactivity, always waited for an explicit order to start to do anything and had absolutely no autonomy. this guy would frequently ask me stuff that he could find with a google search.
when the IT team was let go, the company lined me up for another job, and my boss actually told me "you work well so i can refer you, but i can't do the same for <that guy>". i honestly thought that was his first job, but no. i have no clue how he managed to work in a hospital before that.4 -
Complete and total rant:
You know what fucking confuses the holy fucking shit out of me? DESIGN
I have MAD respect for motherfuckers that spend their days tailoring shit away in CSS, writing custom animations and toggles in JS and ensuring that their HTML is pristine as fuck. I really do and in my opinion they should b getting mad props from everyone, because if they so decide to learn GOOD server side scripting then they are most definitely on their way to create some awesome functional and beautiful shit.
But...
I am not a designer by any means of it. And I know that shit is supposed to look good and work across a multitude of devices. Doing something like that takes me a couple of lines of code (granted, after hours of work that is) that may take a designer way less.
But why oh why do I see THOUSANDS of lines of CSS code for shit that does not take me half the amount of work that it takes other people?
Like seriously. I am trying to emulate the menu that university of Chicago uses(as an example for a lil design practice cuz i suck at it) and looking into their CSS I see thooooousands of lines of code to do something that I did in about two hundred.
So wtf man, do I suck so hard that I am missing some serious shit? wtf is happening? This confuses me, because in my mind it should take me just about as much work as it takes them right?
AGAIN MAD RESPECT FOR DESIGNERS -- If you are a designer reading this please tell me wtf is happening14 -
I'm resignating from Arch, Ive used it this week for a school project and as a linux newb- I cant do a lot. I have no clue how to print stuff, where to find my connected networks or how to connect to them etc. I like what it offers and I know it can be good but I'm too new to all of this to effectively use it. BUT I'm not giving up, I'll try Manjaro next as I read that it's newb friendly and I really like how it looks.
Also attached an screen of my Arch setup: i3gaps, plasma and whatnot
8 -
When you order a bezillion tiny things at small prices to avoid toll on one large package, and you have no fucking clue if everything has arrived.
Arduino stuffs, LEDs, resistors, stuffs like that wherever its cheap for those wondering.
3 -
first off, they've defined (just yesterday) FOUR (not ONE) features to be done by the end of the month (yes really no joke, i mean _this_ month, as in october, i.e. they mean by monday)
four of them still have "to be defined" labels
so, what, you guys gonna define those today so we have uh.... all of friday to do them?
🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡4 -
Gaming community of mine launched their slick new website with their new "ticket system" where people could put in tickets to get help by volunteers.
2 hours and an approval by one of the admins later I managed to inject forge http request into literally every form on that side. Modify permissions, delete users, edit tickets, put invalid values into every attribute of them... In other words break everything.
Turns out the whole thing was coded as a first time project by a person who has no clue about web development and noone is in charge of anything really. There are no requirements, no beta testing, no version control or backups, but at least they had a hard deadline. 🤣
Still not sure if I wanna fix their shit and do it properly or just enjoy seeing it crash and burn.5 -
Whatsapp from my mom:
"Hey, what means 'user defined' in WhatsApp?"
Me: "Depends. Where do you see it?"
Her: "Beneath user info and number"
Me: "Press the Power Button and Volume Down and send me a screenshot please, I have no clue"
Her: "What is the Power Button?"
SERIOUSLY???3 -
Sales guy calls up from overseas and complains website we got developed from another vendor is not working.
Being just the middle man who project managed the website development with the offshore vendor, I had no clue what was wrong as the site was working fine and "worksforme" was not going to be acceptable answer for the costumer demo.
Being an embedded drivers guy, had no idea to debug this, except one:
Me: Which browser are you using?
Him: I.E
Me: try any browser other than I.E
Him: it works. Thanks
Boo yeah1 -
3 Years into coding and I still have no fucking clue on what 99% of the lines in a sample code means. And I'm already 18 Years Old... Beginning to think this line of work isn't for me T_T
12 -
How does GDPR affect you as a freelancer in mobile/web development?
I'm asking because I eventually plan on freelancing but I have no clue how to deal with these stuff.9 -
It's sad. When developers create the application and ONLY know how to lunch it by clicking that green button in the IDE, having no clue how to package and launch it properly...
it makes me sad.
Now I'm supposed to dockerize an application no one knows how to launch outside the IDE.15 -
Mom: "so... you do things with the computer, but what do those things do?" or "I have no clue what you just said, but good luck with that"
Father: "couldn't you have gotten a real job? Like machining or warehouse management, where actual work can be seen rather than sitting on your &ss all day, typing on that keyboard"
- he changed his view real quick when I showed him my paycheck. ($3/ hr more than him)
Brother: "cool"
Ex-gf: "I hate you" (more because of my starting pay)3 -
When I want to answer questions on stackoverflow -
1] The ones I know are already answered
2] I have no clue about the ones that have 0 answers.2 -
6 months after starting developing my webapps I found out that I have one competitor that runs basically the same application service 2,5years already. There was no clue of him when I researched the field just came across by accident today. I feel quite desperate now he has features I didn't even think of and which are amazing. I don't know what to do now7
-
Designer ranting about designer.
Most graphic designer in switzerland have no clue on how to build a proper InDesign document. The design looks astonishing but when they want their design printed, they get roasted everytime.
No I can't print this ultra vibrant rgb color. This image has only 72ppi I need 300ppi in order to print this! WTF? What is this color setting? Japanese ICC color profiles? Are you retarded? No this layer composition is horrendous and unusable. WTF? a 60 page business report and no paragraph format presets? How I'm supposed to typeset this shit next year? No I can't print this fucktard, how long have been a graphic designer? 15 years? And you've still produce this crap? .... Every single time.
Thank goodness I don't work in print anymore.1 -
This Moment when you find code and you have no clue why it exists, but you can remember that it was important...2
-
One of the soulless parasitic drones commonly referred to as a "recruiter" happened to find a good fit. Pure coincidence, as he had no clue what the company did, or what the tech stack was.
If I'm ever switching again, I'll do it on my own. Just thinking about the fact that this guy pocketed €30k for 3 phone calls makes me sad.4 -
The state of modern information. Top post: based on feelings, completely uninformative.
Second, almost half as upvoted: actual answer to question (Which was "Why don't Presidential debates disable the candidates' microphones while it's not their turn to speak?").
No wonder people don't have a clue what they're going to spew when they open their mouth.
Post:
https://politics.stackexchange.com/...
8 -
At my holiday job, I had to call the IT department about a printing issue. They solved it very quickly. Fucking magicians man, how they did it? No fucking clue!3
-
I've became a better dev/sysadm since I've got a girlfriend. She has no freaking clue what I am doing when I'm working or sitting in front of my laptop. But she's often interested in the things i'm talking or ranting about when somthing doesn't work out like i've planned or some stupid problem occurs that I'm not able to fix. I am so glad i've got her. :)2
-
Someone please explain to me how you can become vice president of an internet company and have no fucking clue about simple database logic. Not only that, but then ask developers for query logic that is literally impossible and waste weeks fucking around trying to get it to work the way your deranged mind has shit out these absurd concepts.4
-
My internship is starting to make me feel really stupid
The issue seems easy but I literally have no clue what to do or even where to start. :(9 -
Client: can you put the instagram icons on our websites.
Me: yes, could you send me the links?
Silence for 2 weeks.
Waiting for a bollocking now and I just know it's going to be my fault. Why are people such wankers. I fucking hate my job, the part that involves interacting with wankers with huge egos and no clue about anything.2 -
I had no idea of how to implement the logic of a ticket. That's why I started with creating some unit tests that failed. Then I continued working until they all passed.
So it works now.
I have still no idea of how I implemented the logic.3 -
Best: Writing my first bash script, understanding Object Oriented programming
Worst: Dealing with team members who claim to have work experience but in reality have no clue why they are doing what they are doing -
Pffff...... Wanna make an app tomorrow...
Got no clue what to make....
Maybe something with big AI learning data machine. Yeah I think that hits all the right buzzwords :P
Any ideas you're willing to share?2 -
TL;DR;
I was asked to give estimation on an app, that:
1. No one has a clue what it does, even though there is v1 on the store with almost 10% of functionality working
2. No one has a clue what should be in the new rewritten version
3. We are already behind schedule and I have no clue why, I've just been told that
4. They need UI flow that shows how the app will work with static data and when API's are ready (because ya know, writing code is easier than creating wireframes and modifying them accordingly) I will then need to link app with API as if it is as simple as drinking a cup of water, especially that: 1. What is water? 2. Do I have a cup or is it given, and 3. Relax bro, drinking water is like eating a burger, piece of cake!
I'm not sure what to do, not enough that it's React Native but also spaghetti requirements that no one was able to answer my simple question: What is the app responsible of?
P.S.: Some say I must rewrite the old app ONLY, no new features, others say: Turn the new web portal into mobile app, I say: WTF is going one?6 -
"Minor edit"?
Why do clients always have to try and quantify the amount of effort a task is going to take while having no clue as the actual work it is going to take?
MINOR EDIT!
I bet to them changing a fundamental law of the universe would be a "minor edit"5 -
An example of today's generation:
My little cousin 22 years old wants to get into BI Dev. I tell him to read a certain book. The book has practice examples and various things that are hands on.
What does he do?
He READS the book and is like, "ask me any question and I know the answer". So I'm like, "fine, what's the structure of a basic SQL statement?", after some hard thought he's like, "SELECT * FROM?" I'm like, "ok.....how would you filter that?" and he's like, "you got me man........no clue".
What didn't he do?
Practice.
I mean.........come on.3 -
bf is starting his first job as a dev and asked me how to prepare. i had no clue what to tell him lol. any suggestions?30
-
Love it when you try to fix a bug and realize the bug only occurs in debug mode.
No clue why, but also not my fucking problem, users ain't gonna debug :D7 -
So my uncle just bought an old hp server round that he didn't use at work anymore and I have no fucking clue what to do with it 😂
6 -
Am I the only one who doesn't know where foo bar came from? I see it all the time but have no clue :/3
-
My first freelance project - happened to be with the worst client. They didnt wanna pay more than $500 and also had no clue what they want, so each time i present something they request additional features or changing the ones implemented. In the end i kept the half downpayment for my time and bailed without deploying or anything. I introduced them to another freelancer to take the project and never went near them again.
To clarify, it was not my first project/ just my first time dealing with clients for projects instead of doing them at work. Ever since then i have a strict no dealing with clients directly policy.2 -
A very nice restaurant in a Vegas casino at 3am.
A friend and I were working on a project after defcon, and we got hungry. It's Vegas, so we have no clue what time it is except for our laptop clocks. And who cares anyways. Time is irrelevant in Vegas. So we got a table at a steak place at Caesars palace. And just dropped our laptops on the table and kept coding.4 -
Today on incompetent profs & classmates...
Dumb student forgets to exit vim and rewrites program 3 times before calling d prof
for help
I ask the prof for approval to use an IDE or a text editor in lab and she has no clue what an IDE is. I installed atom just as she left.
Another kid fooled into thinking web dev has no future.
Apparently I can't use laptop in class to execute programs as "other students may be at loss" i mean wtf that's their fkin problem why do I have to suffer.
Student questions unix prof about the file size limitation in fat32. She had a poker face.
Prof gives "hello world" program to sophomores. Nice.14 -
>80 apps removed from Google Play for being adware but they were trending
Welp... let's get hunting, they'll look nice in my malware collection!3 -
What is it with inabhorrent arrogance plastered all over IT as a whole?
I get younger, inexperienced people telling me I'm wrong constantly, criticising my work despite them having no clue (visible from their own work standard and TTL of their projects) .
Similar from older generation, who are resistant to change and aren't even part of my team telling me I'm doing my job badly.4 -
Fuck my boss.
He's making me do non-dev work that I'm absolutely not qualified to do and he's even writing to me on Slack to make me do some of it outside my working days.
I'm getting so fucking anxious whenever I'm trying to work with this shit because I have no fucking clue what exactly am I supposed to do.
FUCK14 -
Ok seriously is Microsoft mining Bitcoin on my computer? If I leave it idle for >5 minutes it starts using intense amounts of CPU and I have no clue why (doesn't show up in task manager, all the processes added up in taskmgr are like 15% max). It's super annoying since I have a razer and high cpu turns on BOTH VERY LOUD FANS.
I checked for malware and stopped any update or useless background tasks (cortana, indexing, etc) and it has not helped one bit. If I click the screen or move the mouse it subsides immediately.
(No, I won't get a mac--I have two and they lacks compatibility with the software I need as well as the specs for what I usually work with)13 -
That feeling when you have unused 128gb ssd in your workstation for more than a year and have no clue why you originally installed it.. 🤔
1 -
This, fucking, designer. He has no fucking clue what he's doing. Every minor fucking thing has to be a new fucking screen.
Toast notification? Snackbar? At least dialog? NOPE, WE NEED A NEW SCREEN.
Lead fucking designer my ass. Wasting everyone's time flapping your dick around.2 -
Hi everyone,
I got an hardware question. Im planning on getting a personal home server. I want to use it as a small gitlab server, continues integration, and the like for personal projects.
It has to be power efficient otherwise my dad will start crying.
I want it to be relatively cheap and running linux.
Ive got no clue what the best thing todo is. Should I get a prebuild one or build one myself.
For prebuild ones, what brands should I look at?
For a custom built what hardware do you recommend me?10 -
Went to bed last night with my code not working. Woke up, ran the app and IT WORKED! I have no clue what I did last night it's all a blur, but apparently I fixed the problem in my sleep. #SleepCoder2
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WARNING: I am a n00b at this crypto shit!
I've decided I might dable in cryptocurrency mining for a little and see what comes of it but have no clue how to start... Can someone point me in the direction of anything that could be helpful?23 -
I feel like there should be "dev recruiter" position that people with developer skills could fill. Every time I go to an interview, I just know the person asking me dev related stuff has no fucking clue about anything I'm saying, it's printed all over their faces.
A good developer almost instantly knows if you know your craft or not.
Let's not keep wasting everyone's time -
They all think I'm a hacker.
My parents have no clue about what I do.
My wife is starting to understand (at least she knows I make web pages 90% of the time I'm working), but still doesn't get close to see the full picture.
Btw, they are all very supportive and I love them for that :-) -
> develops a long form with reactive input boxes that shows wether the data inserted follows the correct format
> client goes "ok now make it a WhatsApp chat"
> "A WhatsApp chat?"
> "Yeah like you ask the questions of the form with the chat and the customer needs to answer through WhatsApp messages, just copy and paste everything you've already done in the browser"
I swear to god, some people have no fucking clue how development works2 -
Since roughly 1 year ago I have been making "leftoff" comments in my code, whenever a work day ended or so, with a few notes on what I was doing and what I was about to work on next.
And I recommend it, I think that's good practice. Because I forgot to do it on friday and I have no GOD DAMN CLUE what I was working on :|3 -
Holy crap, just started working again on a personal project after a 1-month hiatus... Really struggling to get my head back where it was, I have (almost) no clue what I was doing or why.
Even the commit log and the comments and docs I've left around seem empty somehow.
Any good tips/tools for retracing steps? How do you start working on a codebase you've never touched before?1 -
I learned to exit vim, and got happy.
Server crashes, i boot into rescue mode and shit. It forces me to use vim as the texteditor, because fuck nano i guess.
Additionally, the fucking buttonboard layout changed to english instead of danish, which results in i have no fucking clue where which characters are.
Im dead.
4 -
!rant
Met up with a good friend today we go off roaring all the time since we both own hooked up Jeep wranglers. Well we got together and after a fun day of crawling (no coding 😞) lol, We went to eat and I pulled up devRant and kind of mentioned how much I loved this little app and stuff and why it was about. Well turns out that I’ve been friends with this guy for sometime and we never talked profession. This guy is the Vice President to a large scale software development company here in my state!
I was dumbfounded ! Lol all this time this dude has been in the same field and I had no clue.
(I don’t get out much) 😅8 -
A friend of mine wants to start learn HTML/CSS/JS and ask me where to start.
Since I started to write them more than 10 years ago, I have no clue where to start, what good ressources are today and so on.
Therefore: what would you recommend, I recommend her?8 -
I get questions a lot online on how to do something with programming. (at least it's not someone asking me to help with their printer). I have no clue why they keep asking me though, I don't know how to do shit. I just google and press buttons until it does something somewhat cool.1
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I really would like to post something deep here to harvest internet points, but instead I'll give you following quote.
"I have no fucking clue" -Me, 09/11/2021 18:19PM EST.
Well it all started in grade six I believe and it's all downhill from there.2 -
I thought I at least was OK at JavaScript, but today I looked at a tictactoe implementation, and with all the fancy new syntax I have no clue what most of it is doing.2
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An excerpt from the encyclopedia of "Developer Confessions":
At times, when I have no clue what some code does, I comment it out to see what breaks. Sometimes I just want to see the code burn.3 -
Fuck, I'll always be a noob. Knowing next to nothing about software development, hacking, exploits - just anything.
Felt a bit proud to had reached the level "hacker" on hack the box. Was fun solving stego, crypto and reversing challenges, diving into assembly the first time. Felt cool stepping through a disassemblied executable with radare, and understanding what a NOP slide is...
However all the illusion crumbled down, when I watched this CCC talk on OpenBSD security, where the speaker was underwhelmed with one of OpenBSD mitigations, where they tried to disallow them: "NOP slides?! Srly? No one is using that anymore. Just look at current exploits."
I felt so stupid, which I probably am. Will never catch up with those guys.
But whatever. In the end we all know nothing. We have no clue, but some are more apt in disguising it behind big speech.
(really like this German song: https://youtube.com/watch/...
Those lines always give me a chuckle:
"Man has no idea.
The house has no idea.
The tree has no idea.
The fawn has no idea.
The squid has no idea.
The tapir knows, but doesn't tell us.")3 -
what to do when you feel down and are nowhere near a computer to write a few lines of soulcode? (soul food for devs)5
-
Just turned down an offer to become eCommerce Lead @IKEA Austria.
They got those messed up systems controlled by the headquarters in sweden and no clue of or sense for online or digitalisation...how I'm supposed to fix their organization culture... I'd only had freaked everybody out trying to disrupt their 'used' way of doing business :(
Wondering if that's gonna haunt me...3 -
Docker broke, swarm was a bloddy house of cards, from the first days of swarm, consul was somewhat bent around that crap
No docs, no one has a clue, no support and got somewhat backstabbed
Well... Maybe i should do something with wood or orchids ...4 -
If you want a really obtuse method for inverting numbers in python, here you go:
z0 = Decimal('78.56341431805592768684300246940000494686645802145994376216014333')
z1 = Decimal('1766612.615660056866253324637112675800498420645531491441947721134')
z2 = Decimal('1766891.018224248707391295083927186110075710886547799081463050088')
z3 = Decimal('15658548.51274600264911287951105338985790517559073271799766738859')
z4 = Decimal('1230189034.426242656418217548674280136397763003160663651728899428')
z5 = Decimal('1.000157591178577552497828947885508869785153918881552213564806501')
((((z0/(z1/(z2/(n)))))*(z3))/z4)/z5
From what I can see, it works for any value of n.
I have no clue why it works.
Also have a function to generate the z values for any n input.
Shitpost studios.
Bringing you QUALITY math posts since 2019!
"we shitpost because we care."21 -
Chemists recently "compiled" a programming language into chemicals! I'll admit that I have no clue how it works, but they were able to get a mathematical function working without any electronics. The article I read doesn't describe the speed of the reaction, so I'm not sure if it's really useful as a replacement for computer operations.4
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So I suck at scripts, windows scripts namely. I need a script to monitor a program on machine and send an email if it goes down. There are eight instances running on the machine and they can be determined to be working if a specific port is open, one port per instance. I have no clue where to start and I thought it could be done with some existing service or script. Suggestions?10
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I have 2 states:
- Having about a dozen interesting project ideas and not being able to decide which of them I want to tackle first
- Having 0 ideas and absolutely no clue about what to do now.2 -
So, I'm supposed to do a project in Haskell that is due next week. It's a group project and it's me and 2 colleagues. Unfortunatelly one of them had to drop college because of some personal problems. I feel bad for him.
The thing is, the other one has no clue what Haskell is. I mean, he has no clue how programming is. He doesn't even know what an array is, like, wtf.
Sure, I can do the work all by myself and take the credits for it. But he's a nice guy and has been asking me to teach him Haskell in my spare time. He even told me to tell the teacher I did the project all by myself.
I'm kind in the middle of an existencial crisis. What should I do?
Life sucks, dam.8 -
Feck. My brain bluescreened during a coding interview and I had a major panic attack. No clue what or why it happened. FML.1
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"Please move the logo left. The text goes a bit under."
Do you guys think people realize how unclear they are, and are just too fucking lazy to write the full spec? Or are they just so fucking stupid they don't realize I literally have no fucking clue what to do exactly with comments like these?
I guess Hanlon's razor applies here, but some days I just don't know...
Happy Friday! ☠️3 -
I'm fairly new here, so I can't wait to see that one person who knows nothing about tech or software development/engineering join devRant and have no clue what anything is.
-
This whole platform can be summarized as: "I have no clue what I am doing and now it's broken... man, fuck whoever created this shit..."4
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I have no clue what GitLab is, what it does, and im feeling left out when most are ranting about GitLab deleting their database...
There! I said it!3 -
I visit these tech meetups and most of the time I have no clue what they are talking about. It's good that they give free food.
-
Had to clean out a colleagues desk today, they were asked never to show up to the office again as of immediate effect. No clue what went down. And was all out of nowhere.1
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Started my summer internship at a company working on their codebase about two weeks ago. I expected a lot of differences from school, but not this much. I still have no clue what I'm doing. Don't get me wrong, I'm getting stuff done, and it's helping out, but I still have no idea what is going on.
Oh, also, we use outdated Javascript frameworks... I don't actually know Javascript yet but we're just gonna roll with it2 -
Oh thank god!
Had an error in my COSMOS project and had no clue what was happening, so apparently cosmos allows you to cast using an interface when declaring variables and comparing yet it doesn't let you cast with an interface when trying to execute a function... The fuck?4 -
That moment when you found out, the "digital PMs" and "digital art directors" who have NO FREAKING CLUE about the limitation of the web... promised the clients fantastical things... at ridiculous timelines... WITHOUT CONSULTING any of the devs... GARGHHHH
3 -
My first rant in ages:
Been assigned to a new Laravel project at work and the murthafucking lead dev got no fucking clue how to architect a big laravel app. Lead dev talking trash about encapsulation and every big oop grammar he can find while asking us to come up with an architecture concept for the app.
My annoyance is, the fecking project been in planning for like 7 months and d lead dev keeps saying he is looking for ideas on how we will build the app. Fuck this shit!1 -
Recruiter bot just emailed me with some offers, let's take a look...
"Hand-on Experience with SQL and NO-SQL Databases preferably Redux"
Whew! I was worried for a second, thank god they are using a Redux database and not one of those really crappy React databases! I'll really consider applying now.
smh2 -
Cooking.
Murderous cooking.
Anger management cooking.
Joke aside, I mostly have no clue what I'm doing.
Cooking and gardening (sadly no longer a possibility) are two thing where my brain goes out and I just do it.
It has happened more than once that this has failed... But most of the time it goes surprisingly well.
I'm absolutely not an accurate or refined cook.
I hate cutting stuff "even sized"… I hate when it looks perfect. I hate swiping off drops of the plate so it looks more refined....
So yeah, it might look like puke. But it's tasty. XD11 -
So ya its almost mid April, deadline is end of April and 20% of APIs are not yet ready and mobile app has barely 50% of pages done.
This is going to be a fun project to work on, I was asked to join the team couple of weeks ago
What is even more funny I still have no clue what this project does, I'm just creating UI based on what the designer (that started a month ago) delivered just a week ago -- Three weeks before final deadline -
two things people think they are good at, but actually have no clue about:
regex and sex
[I just needed an excuse to write a post about those two, since they sound really nice to each other :D ]7 -
Best thing: I started to understand how compilers work under the hood (sort of), was even able to implement a few scanners already
Worst thing: I have absolutely no clue how to continue ._.2 -
Maybe you guys could help me...
My father just sent me a .xlsxm file (excel + macro file), it's all about horse races and stuff a 60+ years old dude would do :D
The file is pretty neat, but some minors changes needs to be done, but I have no clue where the code is. I found the "macro" part but it's empty, and I'm not surprised since the file itself seems to be generated from C# (Maybe not, I'm not the expert)
Sooo... Can anyone tell me how do I get to this code?8 -
1. Idea comes to my mind
2. I have no clue how to even start coding it (Im not programmer)
3. See my app working
Best feeling ever!2 -
Kid I work on high school tech team (mostly hardware repair) who tries to be just like me and has no clue what he's doing and refuses to listen when I explain things to him
He Saw me edit the registry to unblock my developer tools (school laptop) and see he decides to try the same thing
Completely fucked his registry up causing me to have to fix it (with minimum knowledge myself) so our boss doesn't know I edited something I'm technically not supposed to and he restricts developer tools in a way I can't access at all without domain admin credentials -
first on call shift, have no fucking clue what im doing, have no fucking clue what belongs to what team, and why the fuck i as a member of NONE of these teams have to sort this shit out
then proceed to get interrupted by new pages as im trying to figure out what the fuck is going on with previous ones
the silver lining is its all low prio shit at least1 -
I tell friends ways to hack "jailed" devices to run linux or other custom software. Because they have no clue about such.. I do it for them.. -.- WHY DO I EVEN TELL THEM???
-
Fucking Kubernetes tutorials on youtube. I still have no clue on why. I just get the how.
Fucking explain why we need it in the first place!19 -
Went to a Big Data workshop, now I know why there's a elephant as hadoop's logo and how it came. Still no clue how it works.
-
Uum..uuuuumm...
No idea? Probably sysadmin or sth..
If it had to be out of IT sector, no clue..I am bad with people..and I don't have the skill/education to be a medical examiner for autopsies..3 -
Large majority of rants is about incompetent project managers.
No matter where you live the problem stays the same. Most of them have no clue how software is being made and how dev/qa work looks like.
I frankly do not understand this phenomena. I have friends in automotive/constructions industry and theirs managers are engineers too in that field. Why it can't be the same in software development?5 -
tl:dr
i fucking hate that professor for whom i have to work on laboratory project right now.
reason#1
the project is using a stack full with java. JavaScript. react and some weird facebook api of which i have no clue about. not to mention the server side of this application which uses tomcat (ok its java after all) and sql.
well that wouldn't be not so bad if...
reason#2
we wouldn't have to fucking debug his mistakes he put into the fucking prepared code AND his fucking useless instructions how to set up the project for eclipse the first time. not to mention his fucking requirements which make no sense
oh yeah im a student. i can always go and ask him for help if i need any...
reason#3
i have another 70% mandatory course at the same time and that fucker refuses to upload hos sheets in moodle and answer even one fucking question via mail. not to mention no support if I am there unless i have eclipse setup. even through the projects should be build using gradle...
reason#4
oh. and have i mentioned that this course is only about design patterns? uts not like we could see several of them in a java only application. no we literally have to learn java itself. gradle. nodejs JavaScript Extended for react which i have no clue about at the moment... and yes i especially mentioned gradle and nodejs beccause we have to set shit up and not only use a script.
reason#5
and all that wont even give us a grade. no ita simply a pass or fail part of the module which the course is part of.
have i also mentioned that the whole shit should be done in 20 hours according to the schedule8 -
I’ve seen so many articles about how over-complicated and hard Angular is and I still have no clue what they’re talking about? It’s not that hard wtf9
-
A tool widely use and been perceived as a superset of JavaScript does not have a FUCKING language specification, we have no single clue why certain things are done the way they are done. All we FUCKING do is guess.
Fuck typescript11 -
Got the task of researching the upgrade for an angularjs site with 300 components to newest version.
3 days in still no clue how to take on this Problem.
Frustrated af as I have to come with a proposal till Friday3 -
so a colleague of mine, which is fresh out of Uni. as software engineer has no clue of what Foo and Bar stands for...7
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Anyone have any experience with setting up firewalls? Seems like I'll have to do that at the new office, but man, I ain't got no clue.18
-
Worst: forced to work for 9 months on a shitty wp theme:
- colleague with no clue trying to make me do their work… check
- incompetent manager doing shit about it… check
- idiotic pipeline requiring to redeploy for every asset update… check
- micromanaging cto which for some fucking reason didn’t want to allow access to the writers, forcing the role of content editor on the devs… ducking check! Quack!!
Best: automated lots of processes in my free time, all stuff which I can reuse! -
Recruiters with no clue (a recurring theme it seems).
Got an e-mail this morning via LinkedIn proposing a position in Zurich (Switzerland) doing customization of an application according to business needs, configuration of interfaces, gathering of requirements, 2nd level support etc.
DID YOU READ ANYTHING MY LINKEDIN SAYS? I work in storage support (doing mostly troubleshooting of FC/iSCSI issues between storage and hosts), and live in Amsterdam, and while I would like to pivot to a SW dev job, this seems to be way over my grade of experience, plus I have no desire to go living in Switzerland.
Arsehole!5 -
Well, tried to install Ubuntu on my other personal laptop today.
Never have I wanted to use Linux so bad and not been able to. Why oh fucking why must I get this error, and the shittiest thing is I have no clue where to start.35 -
So,the lecturer is discussing with the other lecturers to not let us cs101 students use lists when writing our Python solutions because he says that the students don't know how to think in terms of lists.fuck,coz literally every single solution of mine used lists.If they subtract marks,i will not put up with that.Just because the other students have absolutely damn no clue about what they doing when they using lists it doesn't mean they can stop me.3
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Anyone else experience "coder's block"?
No, this is not burn out. I've been learning alot of cool new stuff lately...but no clue what to start doing with it.1 -
Started working in big firm from past 2 months, I was learning about company, its products and what it does. To speed up things I asked one senior who has 8 yrs of exp, she said she also has no clue how things work here......
Now I know why I was hired as an urgent requirement......1 -
Holy fuck, I though working with Wordpress was a fucking nightmare, but it’s a dream compared to the shit I am estimating maintenance on...
It’s running on Asp.net and the Sitecore cms... I have no fucking clue what the fuck is going on anywhere
I’ve estimated 3-4 days for doing basic maintenance like improving SEO and fix some minor semantics. Everything is wrapped in a fucking <form> element, I mean every fucking thing. It goes;
<body><form method=POST>shit content</form><body>2 -
I am developing a twitter bot which will post local weather daily. After few test tweets, twitter locked the account and asked to verify account by calling. They called and I wrote down the verification code but THE FUCKING TWITTER returns a "Something went wrong." error with no actual clue about the problem.
-
I'm the first person in 4 generations that works in a tech/hands-on area.
Everyone in my family works in media, sales, diamonds, law, business and teachers(in Yiddish it's called Luft-gescheft- air business)
They have no clue what I'm doing and how I got where I am and see it as a waste of time.2 -
It's a great start of the week when your general manager asks you to get in to touch with a guy to ask about their return merchandise authorization system. And when I reply, sure, what would you like me to accomplish. You get the reply, I don't know, don't bother me with the technical details, they told me it should be super easy.
I don't know what 'it' is, but I'm happy that the man who can hardly use his macbook says its super easy.1 -
rant/!rant
So I just started working at the beginning of January and I have no fucking clue about anything especially Web development.
But now I have a week to figure out how in the world I am going set up a workflow for some secretaries so that the higher ups get a printed coupon with a password on it, so they can log into our WLAN via a captive portal that I also need to set up.
I am thinking about a website that takes a list of names and settings (probably excel or smt) passes them to the WiFi management softwares API and then generates some PDF file for download that just needs to get printed.
Did I mention that I have no Dev tools (I have notepad, yeah the one without ++), no test environment, no prior experience and no clue how to do it?
But somehow I love this challenge and am glad that my colleagues don't send me to get coffee but let me work.
Am I insane?4 -
In front of a vending machine:
Me: gonna buy a drinj.
Me to me: ganna try to crash these windows xp pcs with 3 mb ram, tear them appart, ripp of their soul, and later on ask the manager why this happened, cos afterwards I have no clue 😈😈😈😈😈😈😈2 -
I'm tasked with a light redesign of our public site and it's a fucking shit show. It's using this old-ass grid system with pixel-based widths and it's just totally fucked and whoever put it together had no clue.
...I keep going back and forth between trying to work around it and unfucking it because, while I'd like it to be unfucked, I don't want to spend all week on this and I hope we toss it all out and do a proper full redesign in the next year or two anyway. -
i think it's nice that the company wants to include me in the administrative meetings, but honestly i have no clue what they are talking about and i could be doing my tasks
-
Hehe I'm back peeps 😭 missed this community so much. Hope I can read yall's rants and have a pleasant laugh :3.
Also, I've ripped apart my android app and I'm rewriting it using Flutter. Yes I did that. I don't regret it though. Does Google have more control over me now or less? I have no clue. The whole dynamic vs. Shutdown framework risk benefit balance out I assume.10 -
How do people make clones without tutorials!? 😭😭
I'm tryna clone bleacher report but have no clue where to start cause they're no guides anywhere2 -
Why do these e-marketing companies always have some kind of manager/consultant/strategist/marketeer/whatever to handle emails between me and their devs. Instead of emailing with another technical person and quickly fixing the problem I end up sending one billion emails to someone who has no clue on what needs to be done to fix te problem. From now on my emails contains a part called "to your developer:" explaining the technical part of the email.
And no - I don't want to plan a conference call... just let me code dammit! -
So I'm now experiencing the worst case of "pacman -Syu breaks everything" I've ever had. For whatever reason, when I updated mesa, my entire GUI decided to go to shit. As I'm typing this, lightdm is crashing over and over again. My Xorg log file has no errors at all. Honestly have no fucking clue what's going on.5
-
Email this morning: "Program X is not working".
Wow thanks. That's not fucking helpful at all. We have like 100 different applications and I've only ever seen about half of them so far and have no clue how to even use it or what is supposed to do. -
I have two potential client meetings next week. The first one now knows she needs a website (but I have no clue what her budget is), I think she wants me to host the site as well as do site maintenance. The second potential client I'm working using the barter system (but I think she will end up owing me some money at the end). We will see how they both go.2
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This is getting kind of annoying now. Everytime i am planned for a (small) project, there is less to no briefing and nobody has a clue what to do.
Then how the hell am i supposed to?2 -
Question to the Americans here..
Just out of interest.
How many of you know the metric system?
I feel like as a dev you need to know it to communicate with the rest of the world on the same level. But I meet so many Americans that have no clue how metric even works.. (as if it was less logical than imperial 😄)
No offense, just truely curious..10 -
!Rant
Just spent almost an hour trying to figure out why my computer won't display on my tv monitor (because the best smart TV is a PC). I tried everything, unplugging the graphics card and using the motherboard, tried another tv, tried different sockets. Tried another graphics card etc.
Eventually, without notice, after plugging it to a regular PC monitor, it started working. No clue why. But it works now so I'm happy. -
client has no clue what he wants and keeps changing the requirements of the projects; wants to deploy "to a desktop app like electron but faster, but also as a lib for developer to use on a server like a CMS" 🤦🏻♂️; takes two hours in a call and literally tells me that he want to "hear himself speak" so he can clarify what he needs...
me: NOP2 -
Me: Ok I'm not going to bother upgrading my PC, just going to use it and buy a whole new system later on...
PC: Yo' bro, remember when you had no clue at what you were doing and you didn't buy an 80 Plus certified PSU and used stock intel cooler? Yeah man you're going to need to replace both of these things, that'll be $280!
Of course this fucking happens, knew I should have waited till I actually knew what I was doing with PC hardware!5 -
Need to use new module or pattern:
1. Read the online documentation
2. Have no fu*kin clue what I just read
3. Try for 2 hours and fail.
4. Go home and sleep
5. Wake up at 3am from a fever dream with the solution to the problem
6. Go to work and implement it in 10 min
I guess I learn when I sleep -
I can’t take this shit anymore. I’m constantly cleaning up the diarrhoea behind other incompetent nutjobs, while these very same people treat me like I have no clue about programming because I won’t introduce their unmanaged dependencies which they call snippets into the clients code base. Whoever transitioned from “int - int” to freelance / self employed please give me some tips4
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I have an onsite technical interview test tomorrow. I have no clue what to expect as I have always done it online.
Should I expect it to be the same system but me just doing the online test in their offices 🙄?
NB: After the test I have an interview with the hiring manager.3 -
“iPhones powered by lenin
Nice to have legs”
Another kiki dream. I wrote this down at 6 am, then fell asleep again. I have NO CLUE what it means. It made sense then, but makes none now.1 -
Fuuuuuuuck!!
CR estimates:
Part 1: 2h including testing
Part 2: 2h-2days-maybe never (small changes on horrifically fucked up project noone understands with tons of tech debt)
Managed to pull off the part two in one day.. //yay me?!
Additional day to unfuckup git fuckups (including but not limited to master head not compiling because a smartass included *.cs in .gitignore file which he also pushed..don't ask, I have no clue why..) which was a huuuge deal for me as I usually use only local repo and had no idea how to tackle this.. coworker helped out.. seems I was on the right way, but git push branchy was acting up & said I had to login & ofc I had no clue what the pass was set to (first setup was more than 2yrs ago)..so new key, new pass.. all good.. yay!
Back to the original story/rant: Now I'm stuck with writing jira explanation why it was done this way & not the way customer suggested. They offered only vague description anyways which would require me to do a hacky messy thing, ew.. + it most probably would require major data modifications after deployment to even make it work..
Anyhow, this expanation is also easy peasy in english..
BUT...
I must write it in my native tongue.. o.O FML! Spent almost 40mins on one paragraph..
Sooo.. if anyone will petition to ban non english in IT, I'm all for it!!2 -
Ok I fucking give up, does anyone know of any tutorials on adding custom languages and syntax highlighting to VS code, I followed what little readable documentation overlord Microsoft has given and still no fucking clue, help!3
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I know we all start from the bottom but for fuck's sake some people have no fucking clue what the are doing.
I saw this in a previous senior of mine's stylesheet.
.col-sm-offset-1 { margin-left: 0%; }
I cannot believe that a person can be this stupid. -
I started working for a startup as Server Administrator/ System Integrator beside university to get some dollars with easy work and nice people.
((I Know two of the C*Os so I got a had feeling with this. Besides the upcoming story I'm still really happy with my position and career chances here. God bless my Department which has the most funny/rude guys, love you.))
tl;dr:
Guy fakes his Skillset and fuckup whole department, can´t do most of his basic tasks. I had my first and hopefully last interaction with this bastard.
Heres how everything started:
I was more and more involved in the leading processes and decisions.
Heard about a story where and why the whole dev-department was kicked out of his position because they were crappy developers. And cant just believe the stories they told me about the former Dev-Lead
Now I met the former "Development Lead"
I was brought in because we in the IT wondered why he would like to share his local machine password with colleges. After some questions he came out with the Reason.
He is doing home-office for some days a week now and wants his colleges to be able to start his "software". (already confused by that)
The "better IT-guy" in me offered help for automatic deployment CI/CD stuff so that they can use it as an inhouse service.
BIG OOF incoming:
"The code is not in git because I wanted to clean it up before"
"My IDE is the only place where my PHP crap work is running"
"The 'PHP-software' is to complex for this"
My Lead and I were completely speechless,
I understand the decision to kick this "dev-Lead" from the lead position down to a code monkey/ script kid.
Now I´m thinking about getting my Hands on the Lead position after my exams because if such bastards with no clue about basic stuff, no clue about leading, no clue about ci/cd, no clue about generic software stuff get the job I would easily be the "good IT-guy" with more responsibility/ skill.
Now I sit here, hate people that fake their skills and set back work of colleges for multiple months and never asked for help or advice.
And the little "Bastard Operator from Hell" in my just wants to delete all his files, emails account during a migration to completely demotivate the person who failed to be responsible for a team nor their projects.5 -
I thought this was gonna be so simple, now I'm going down an infinite rabbit hole of technology and concepts I have no idea what's for and zero clue of what I'm doing.4
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So I hooked gitlab pushes to show on slack channel... My coworkers don't have a clue about merge, commits, anything.... Sometimes looks like they have no clue about most of the things...
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In an in-house beta our product was causing blue screens. We had some the crash reports and a I dug out the technical notes in how to decipher that gibberish. Still no real clue, but there was an address happened where it was supposed to happen. So I dumped our binary into two reversing tools, jumped to that address and looked at the surrounding code.
And sure there it was: A missing check when manipulating a C-string which could lead to out of bound access. Added a check BSOD's gone.1 -
I just discovered the code golf stack exchange. I had no clue this even existed.
I am fascinated, scared, but fascinated.2 -
My first computer was an old Pentium 2 running windows 98 with no internet and just a CD Rom and Floppy Drive. Got it for my 7th Birthday I think and immediately wanted to make it do my biding.
Didn't work out. Had no clue what the words on screen meant and batch scripts looked like sorcery to me.
Hell even the options menu in German was a cryptic puzzle to me.
Got a little better in the meantime. -
Okay... I am more than annoyed. 😵😵😵 I've been trying for days to get 2 small dockerized Spring REST-Services to communicate with each other. Without docker the services work fine with each other. I've tried many tutorials, examples, hints online and so on and none works or does something else. There is so much deprecated stuff or huge tutorials where I have to install 1000 other useless things. I kinda feel like this Microservice Stuff is a myth or I'm just stupid. Even my partner has no clue.18
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I have absolutely no idea on what to make in python and when I do get an idea I realize that I have no clue where to start1
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I see people’s Deep Learning project organization and library usage prowess on Github and I have fucking no clue where they learnt these ingenious tricks. All I can think of is learning from looking at other people’s GitHub. Is there a better way??6
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It pisses me off so much when companies sell their products with non standardized charging ports. I bought a no name beard trimmer some time ago, lost the charger and obviously I cant find a replacement because I have no fucking clue what connector it is. The description of the trimmer mentions nothing. Fucking bs that is! -__-"
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I have no clue if this has been posted here already. It probably has plenty of times but damn, I've been laughing for the past 10 minutes now and that's rare.
https://github.com/hakluke/...2 -
Fuck Java. Why does the syntax have to always give me such a headache. It is a language where I know what I want to do, have a general idea of how to do it, and have no fucking clue what the syntax looks like.
My guess is that it all makes sense after 3 years of use. I don't want a Java job, I just want to pass my class. Fuck Java.5 -
Some meme page on Instagram has been chatting with me asking for help with a C# project.
1) who is this guy and how'd he find out about me
2) why tf are we on Instagram
3) I don't know much C#, much less cross platform development with C#, so I have no clue why I'm helping, if I am6 -
Installing a third OS in my PC (Manjaro, alongside Win10 and OSX Mojave). I do not remember how I configured dual boot for Win10 and OSX and now I have no clue of what I'm doing. Nothing will boot and I'm having to boot OSX through clover installed on my USB stick. Good thing I'm on quarantine and have a lot of time to play with this. Oh wait not really since I have some college work to do and I need Linux for that. Yay.8
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Everybody is bussy!
So let's going to give this mess to the one who never worked with mongo, does not know the objects in the DDBB, add to it some weird way to build queries in java to it and hope for everithing end well!
End well = need to be done today.
Guess what? Not for today! I have no clue of how to clean this shit.1 -
Any idea where to start as a beginner programmer as I just completed my first year in CSE and still have no clue what and where and when to do. I just know C that's all9
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Having to sort out the domain and hosting arrangements and dns management as the client has no clue where anything is or who owns what, and the previous web developer is intentionally not giving a fuck.1
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This actually exists in our code-base like this. I have no fucking clue what it does.
function combine(arg0: string, arg1: string): string {
return !arg0 ? arg1 : !arg1 ? arg0 : `${arg0} ${arg1}`;
}9 -
Actually I've never really drunk coded (eventhough I can be a bad drinker lol), but one time I was apparently discussing a problem I encountered with a friend of mine and we came up with a solution. All I had to write it down was a reciept from the supermarket though, but I totally forgot about it the next day, until months later when I was cleaning out my wallet and to this day I have no clue what I was trying to tell.3
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So one of my aunt who is a school teacher had her Windows 10 + Ubuntu 16 dual boot laptop updated with Ubuntu 18 by the school principal. The school principal having no clue what she was doing, ended up messing up the boot manager. I hear she simply deleted the Ubuntu 16 system files to make space and proceeded to install Ubuntu 18. The school principal took no responsibility of the catastrophe because it worked fine with other laptop.
The school has no IT department or anything of that sort either.
Guess who had to help there? Me. However, I have no clue about that area, anyhow, I managed to show a way to bootup Ubuntu 18 which is what they use at school. Windows won't boot anymore.
About a month later, now I hear the drive where Ubuntu 18 is installed is full and it is causing some issues. There is no delete option on right to make space.
May God help them. 🤷🏻♂️7 -
Never did a prep for before interview when I was the candidate... that's until lately, when I was told I need to interview some candidates. I really had no clue on what to ask...2
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While showing the rest service demo a senior 10+ years dev ran into session issues in chrome. I asked him to open private/incognito. He opened ie,edge, closed all chrome, tried back, nothing. Had no clue whatsoever.
At last I asked him to do ctrl shift n in chrome & dark chrome opened up where he could use the test accounts to validate the bugs. He is still confused what happened4 -
Looking for linux distro / desktop recommendations...
I'm bored of my setup and want to try something new. I'm currently running elementary os with pantheon desktop but the fact that wingpanel can't auto hide drives me insane. I've also used Mint+cinnamon and ubuntu+unity in the past.
I'm currently considering Antergos as a distro because I don't have time to install Arch but I have no clue which desktop env to try - Gnome,kde,mate,xfce...
Any suggestions?6 -
Starting a project for work and realized it would be a good idea to use a framework as by my initial anticipations i see this growing fairly complex. I choose to go with Angular 1.x because I'm lile "hey i know that already", but there's one teensie problem--it hit me that i haven't looked at Angular so long that I have no fucking clue how to start up an Angular project from scratch properly. Oh well, time to dump an old project in the public folder and figure this shit out one error at a time
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Figured I’d just apply for a job in Munich (i’m belgian), didn’t think anything would come of it and now they want a skype interview with me and i have absolutely no clue of what to expect from skype interviews5
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Okay so I want other opinions. So I've been studying for C++ competition and I don't know how to keep learning the language.. for python I just kept finding projects to do or picked a module to learn. But with C++ I was gonna work on the <random> and <string> libraries but after that I have no clue :/13
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Is part-time remote dev work a thing? I wanna go that route but no clue where to get started. Freelancing? Consulting? Or do companies actually hire part time remote devs?7
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i dont know typescript and thus hate it
why can't my fucking ide extract the type of a thing
i've no fucking clue if it's a function or not or the syntax
statically typed language gang rise up,
dynamic can be good for certain use cases and if you know what you're doing i suppose3 -
So about a big problem I had earlier in the two last weeks, we were waiting for the expert of the team we work with if they have any idea. But we had to wait for him to get back from their one-week break.
We asked them about it
They have no clue
fuck. -
I hate surprises.
I join office after a short leave and the other guy is out with a completely new product I have no clue of. (surprise 1)
Next, he's on leave and now I'm asked to fix bugs.(surprise 2)
Just for the curious, I ended up successfully fixing them and adding 2 features. -
So... My Nexus 5X died few hours ago, i have no clue what happened. Tried to google it, found a lot of people have same problem, most of it said it was Samsung eMMC problem that need to blow with heat air. I just realized, how the fcuk Samsung's things screwed up my LG Nexus 5X from inside! Very Interesting Weekend 😵5
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My uncle had a computer with a dot matrix printer attached. I remember that there was a Python turtle like drawing program. Spend quite some hours making blocky single line drawings with that. Printed some too.
No clue what kind of computer it was though. Probably a PC clone like headstart.2 -
I am really not sure about this, so I wanted to ask, do you guys post online on Medium or Dev.to and how was your experience with your first post? I wanna start doing it, but I've got no clue what to write about. Any suggestions?15
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Ok, let's agree to stop giving applications names that are so ambiguous that they give no clue what the purpose is.
Google Play Store has top 2016 apps... Under "most innovative" is the app, "Eve" by "Glow". Is it a game? General app? I was curious and clicked for the detail...
I never in a million years would have clicked on that! Wow. 😓 -
Virtualbox stopped working on my pc at some point and I have no clue why. I've tried a lot of things, it just doesn't work10
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DAMN IT TO HELL
BURN IT
six. SIX videos ive seen. read docs. and tutorials. and still dont know how to even start
you want oauth for facebook and spotify sureee i can
but for defualt?
and an api mock online?
FML
no clue
SOS3 -
Met in c++. I read the course book the summer before and decided to ditch the final review class. He followed me as the instructor said "There are two guys that don't need to study!" I waived and said, "NOPE" and kept on walking with a wave. Proved it with an A. no clue what my friend got but 20 years later we are still working at the same company.
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random:
let iSuck = "I'm really new to this, "
let reallyBad = "I truly have no clue about what I am doing."
console.log(iSuck + reallyBad);16 -
So, while working on a story, I noticed something which the lead dev did that is now giving me problems.... and he's offline while in another building.
Ok, I'll just contact our PM to see how much is due today (visual happy path only or API call is needed too)...same state as lead dev.
Scrum master, the person who's in charge of contacting anyone... no flipping clue where she's at.
It's great being on such a small team!2 -
Been playing Minecraft for years. I had to watch a video on how to eat cake in Minecraft. I had no clue that you could eat the cake. I always thought that the cake was a lie.
Can someone please make a rap song out of this?3 -
Windows o is almost dying and it already has a strong candidate for its replacement, which of course is Android.
2 minutes waiting for apps to show up in the launcher, no clue what's causing these slowdowns
6 -
difficulty in reproducing bug behavior
think i found a solution to prevent the infinite requests being sent by a react component who's code keeps getting rerun by react's scheduler.development.js
i have no fucking clue what's going on, on top of not having any foundation in react3 -
So I'm competing in a programming contest for a $10,000 scholarship. I'm very confident in my programming ability but I have no clue what to build for the competition. Anyone have any ideas for a coding project that would wow the judges?2
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I want to setup a PC for Android development; need a powerful machine which can handle large project builds and chrome tabs easily. Also, I have no clue how to start or what components to get.
Anyone who can help me with this?2 -
So... I'm assigned to do a new development, something related to integrate a Call Center service to our main app.
I have not a single clue on how to begin, at what to look, what doc to read (the service doesn't offer a good one), just trying thing and hope for some luck.
This sound familiar to you also or it's just me?
These moments make me think twice if my knowledge can handle and this scares me!
Also, it's kinda urgent and very important so... no stress!2 -
I have no clue what I just did.
2 months ago I changed my repository name and today when I attempted to pushed an update I realised I had to update my remote key. Which I did.
Now..my repository now contains someone else's repository and my entire code base is non-existent.
Slightly pissed off that I'm now having to redo the entire work again but at same time I'm kinda amused on how I did this.8 -
VS Exception Display is full badfor me now.
I had a query problem in my code, and the only exception displayed by VS was one that don't help that much.
But there were two exceptions messages to display. Fortunatly the front-page displayed the full stack, else I'd have no clue of what was going on. -
Had that moment where I thought to myself I need some sleep.
Working on Android app, using shared preferences (for a lay person, a key value store for settings)
Kept storing data in store and checked repeatedly from different parts of the app for the data. No clue where it went when storing (did store correctly)
Found out I was storing in a store labelled X _Y and was reading from store called XY.3 -
So I'm trying to learn Rust and I want to do like a simple project with it but I have no clue what..
Any ideas?4 -
how do you deal with the situations where you have no clue what happened in production ??
we have a Spark job and suddenly the job execution stopped in the middle without any error log. after sometime it started working again and all the master and workers were fine at that time.
now client wants RCA for that. 😟3 -
How much of a fucking faff is it trying to deploy a rails app to ElasticBeanstalk?!
Brand new instance and it's got no fucking clue what Bundler is, installing gems (looking at you, Nokogiri,) is about as difficult as pissing stones and don't get me fucking started on Webpacker and asset pre-compilation.
DEPLOYMENT SHOULD NOT BE DIFFICULT.2 -
So I have a client project that needs to be delivered in 3 months. The project size is significantly huge, so a lot of devs will work with me. Our seniors have its architecture defined in micro services but we have no clue how they work. I would really appreciate some community inputs on how can we scalable-ly use micro services.
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!rant
I've been following and finished a course about MVC 5. On the deployment side he showed how to deploy the Release on the filesystem through the vs 2017 publish Wizard GUI and after that he suggest to deploy that folder on the IIS server. Now I looked around on the web and I've not found a way\guide on how to self host that project on my PC and expose the project to internet (which I do mostly by using no-ip.org). Someone have any clue or can point to a step by step guide? -
Capitalism - the only moral system ever devised. Nope not devised, realised it actually works. Markets works, market flourishes. Price discovery works.
Shelves running out of stock around the world should give a taste of communism and central planning. Centralists have no clue what everyone needs.9 -
Question for those who are into mobile game dev: unity is still a shitshow or they just quit the idea of charging for each install ? Trying to choose a game engine and I have no f clue what to choose for a 2.5d platformer13
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The more I work with programming languages the more i feel like it's a big mistake to build functionality into the language. Especially functionality to extend the language, we developers have no fucking clue of how to write DSL languages that interact well with other developers code. We can not deal with the power!
Keep languages simple and extensibility very restricted, domain functionality belongs in libraries.
Also #deathtoframeworks5 -
tried to pick some smart dude's brain about my problem cuz I'm just screaming internally being unable to think about it myself and have no ability to write it out in pseudocode without confusing myself or on paper so I need someone to bounce around with this
proceed to have to teach him basics of how computers work...
... realize he's slow at it and that I know a lot
I will take this self-compliment. I might be on a journey of self-compliments now, since he actually wanted to learn to code for a while. not a bad potential reality tunnel actually. I guess this is ok
guess I'll just keep screaming internally about my problem until I birth the requisite neurons automagically. no pain no gain 😭
literally no clue how to think or plan stuff out without having to put the whole thing in my head. always been a problem for me. grrrrr -
Remember way back when when most people lived their lives and the country had not finished being categorized idiotically, supposedly it is now anyway, and people had conversations? And new things happened? And people like me had no clue what the trashy retards around them were doing ? So much happier.
As in there were different stresses and worries
Then there was that brief time things were organized as they should be and traffic was light and people were healthier?
Didn't hear so much obnoxious coughing then1 -
I hate AudioContext. Visitors might like it since it does not permit websites to blast loud sounds. However, as a developer, I hate it. Before AudioContext existed everything was cool. Suddenly it appeared from nowhere. I had no clue that Chrome added it. Now my websites aren't as exciting at first glance anymore.
7 -
trying to rediscover specific pieces of tribal knowledge with no documentation and no starting point...
guess I'll just start grepping servers until I find a clue -
I have no clue how... but I just entered my office smiling and actually excited to do some work, like on my first days here and the place smells like coffee too. WTF1
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I fucking hate math. Today tried to make 2 unequal rectangles align along 1 axis. This isn't that hard when they aren't rotated but it fucking when they are rotated. I know I have to use geometry to get them aligned and I got it somewat working but as the gap is bigger so is the drift in which it over compensates to the other side and I have no fucking clue how to fix this 😩.
The worst thing is tomorrow I have to be at this again1 -
What is ploymorphism??? Im new to oop, and wanna learn more abt it. Preferably in examples from pascal or cpp.13
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As someone with a pretty solid knowledge of Php I genuinely have no clue why Ruby on Rails baffles me as much as it does. This is going to be a long evening...3
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Has anyone noticed that lately Safari renders websites faster?
I have been testing the cache on one of our sites. Been testing with Safari, Chrome, Firefox(Clean no addons) and FirefoxDeveloperEdition. The response time from the server is pretty much identical on all the browsers. But Safari is definitely quicker at rendering it out.
Anyone got a clue why? The only thing i suspect is that safari doesnt have dev tools enabled, so that might be the culprit?
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