If you are reading this, I want you to know that I am probably on some kind of FBI watchlist because I googled "How to kill all children while leaving the parent alive". So yeah, Linux is brutal.

That moment when you come across other devRant lover while walking and then he requests you if he can take your picture! Thanks @dfox for this picture! Haha

!rant
A few days ago a friend of mine rang me up complaining about internet issues with his computer. As usual I did the "is it plugged in, turn it off then on again" sort of thing to waste time while my pasta was cooking. After a while he asked if I had another bogus solution, so I suggested flushing his toilet.

He runs off, I hear the flush, comes back and viola - it fucking worked.

The point of this is: if it don't work, flush the toilet. You're welcome, tech support out ✌️

public boolean even( int num ) {
if ( num < 0 )
num = -1 * num;
while ( num > 1 )
num = num - 2;
if ( num == 0 )
return true;
else
return false;
}

I don't understand the phrase "once in a while".
If you execute something only “once“ then why you keep it in a “while“?

I'm designing a new programming language, so far it looks like this:

!hodor hodor

if (hodor==hodor)
hodor

hodor (hodor)
hodor
hodor hodor //hodor, hodor
hodor
hodor
hodor hodor hodor
hodor

hodor 1024
hodor 42

while (hodor<hodor)
hodor.hodor
if (hododor==hodor)
hodor hodor
hodor

There's a compile error somewhere, but I can't find it.

If you ask a programmer to do something once in a while, they'll end up doing it forever.

So, DON'T.

I'm writing a small blogging CMS in bash using CGI. I can't help but giggle every once in a while when I think of the reaction every web developer ever would have if I told them about my project 😂

I'd be handing in my two weeks notice if I got some shit like this.

Don't get me wrong, I understand it's not that professional to swear during work every sentence. But come on, I'm going to swear if I fucking want to every once in a while.

@No-one asked me to make a devRant related waifu but I went "why not if devRant WAS the waifu"

and this was born while waiting for compiling code (again)

🙌 hands up if you figured out your problem while typing up your question on stackoverflow. 🙌

If you're getting new error while debugging, you're making progress.

Do not disturb a coder while coding..

if only I could transform....

While(alive)
{
Work();
Eat();
If(payday)
{
GetPaid();
PayBills();
}
Drink();
CrySelfToSleep();
}
WaveToLucifer();

Do you as a developer use
1. Noise cancelling headsets
2. Music
while working?

If music, what kind or genre?
Personally, I listen a lot to Electronic Ambience/Chillstep.

While using open source library if you get stuck, head over to library's issues section on GitHub. Paste minimal error, you will definitely find an answer. Always works.
#lifeprotips

While being self employed as a programmer may have its ups and downs, at least no one will judge you(except yourself maybe and your clients if they know) when you code drunk and it's Wednesday night/Thursday morning.

Do you listen to music while coding? If yes what genre(mine is drum and bass)

While drinking in Lisbon a dude asks me if I'm more of front-end or back-end and winks... Wtf?!!

Just found this while trying to understand some code:

```
bool ok = true;
if(ok) {
// lots of code here
} else {
// even more code here
}
```

I thought this was worth my first rant...

Amphetamine.

If that doesn't help, "working from home", which means posting random PRs from my emergency pile every two hours, while shooting noobs in Overwatch.

Let's see the coder in you.
If I give input: 1 output: 2
If I give input: 2 output:1
Only these two test cases needed.
You should not use control structures such as if,else,for,while,switch etc. (The answer is simple) (Don't cheat)

int number;
cin>>number; //get number
cout<<??????; //Your code

Big project this week. Lots of fires to put out. Deadlines approaching.

Monday: I can get by on just four hours sleep. No problem. Will be just like college.

Wednesday: I'm going to just close my eyes while this file uploads. Maybe I will backup the server while I'm at it; Just take a nap while that processes.

Friday: Sorry if my office smells like vomit. It's because I am so tired I vomited.

Sunday: I'm not getting out of this bed tomorrow. Let them fire me. I think I will just will myself into a coma. That will be nice.

GF: Honey... What is that thing called... It's like a neverending if statement...
Me: ... A while loop?
GF: YEAH!! It's a while loop in the brain!

Is it just me or does this shirt make no sense? If your coffee was empty, then it would return true and you would keep coding. If it was not empty you would fill it.

Plus it's not a while loop, so unless this is some sort of recursion you wouldn't keep going....

I think I just figured out the function the matrix used for my gf's dog.

Public Action GetOrder(string humantalk)
{
If (Order.parse(humantalk)
.VoiceLevel > Int.MaxValue)
{
while (true)
{
this.bark();
}
}

return dogsAction.Parse('eat hand');
}

Asked my boss if I could have more ram. He laughed at me .. we have 4gb..

My phpstorm freezes all the time while the page file catches up...

Have u built your own robo who makes coffee for u while you are coding?

0- yes! // u r cooooool!!!
1- no. // me 2 😸☕

[If you answered yes, then comment how did you ]

import datetime
age=19

while not dead:
today=datetime.datetime.today()
if today.day == 1 and today.month == 4:
age+=1
print("🎉")

while(apocalypses)
{
if(today.getDayOfYear == 256)
{
programmers.congratulate();
programmersDay.celebrate();
}
}

Saw this security blunder a while ago. Went onto some site and it showed me this username/password dialog (probably an apache's htpasswd or nginx one). Went away but returned quickly because I noticed I could see all content. Then I thought 'why the fuck not try?' so I dragged the auth popup thingy to the side of the screen and et voila... I could interact with the page as if nothing was wrong while the authentication popup was hovering above the page on the right!

I sat there giggling dramatically for a while.

Just an ionic app that I need to work on.
In the former dev defense, it was meant for mobile while I'm running it on Iridium on macOS, don't know if that counts

Anyways send help ASAP!

If you press the refresh button while comments are loading, all comments get displayed twice.

while(freeTime == true) {
if(iHavePlans == true)
waitUntilDone();
/*
* TODO: Fix bug that causes
* coding to call the gaming and
* relaxing methods so often...
*/
code();
}

While coding, I always listen to music. After a while, if I skip a song I know it's time for a break. The flow has been interrupted

If you ask a programmer to do something once in a while, he'll do it forever.

While styling a website, I realise that I would be fired on the first day if I had a Web designer job

lesson of the day:
if you enter the office toilet while chewing gum, the simultaneous smell of shit and jaw movement will lead your brain to think you're eating shit

Dev: Ok refactor this following block of code to make it more readable/maintainable while still ensuring the tests pass

*** Block is an absolute mess of nested ternaries, poorly named functions, single letter variables and outdated comments. An underhand pitch if there ever was one ***

Interview Candidate: Why would you refactor code if the tests are already passing?

Dev: …… NEXT.

We all have those nights sometimes (and sometimes way too often for a while)
(sorry if repost but haven't seen it yet)

Wow I hate VBA... What a fucking shitty syntax:

For x in y
...
Next x

If x Then
...
ElseIf y Then
...
End If

While z
...
Wend

WTF even is this? Wend? WTH! Why can't you just use a End While? For fuck sake I hate this language

Holy cow! it's been a while since the last time I was here! On the great side, I left my toxic old job! If your manager gaslight you, then get out of there!

!rant

Double tap-like is not working properly on my Oneplus 3T while on list view. I'm wondering if it's just me or if it's a bug in the Android app...

Just figured out: If you're browsing open tabs in Google Chrome on android and you're persistent on pulling them up while on the first one, they will spin. 😀

while(debug){
coffee++;
if(coffee == OUT){
giveUp();
debug=false;
}
}

Started a new job this week.

Just learned that my manager strictly prohibits while loops and "if else" statements.

Job hunting is not the best thing to do while being in the imposter syndrome phase.
Especially if one is an imposter.

Since I'm still alive and the future parts of my life is a mystery , I say:

#include <limits.h>
int main(){
int worst=INT_MIN;
int best=INT_MAX;
while(1){
//keep coding
if(dead) break;
}
}

Was having an internship interview, and the guy starts laughing while reading my resume and says:
"don't put visual basic on your resume if you don't want to work with it"
I proceeded to remove it ASAP.

The hell, why'd I write an add-on for a system I don't know as well while I could just implement a PHP version easily!?

Even if it is just to fucking prove that this can easily be done in PHP!

When you look back at Code from your 2nd year of university...

Using while loops as if statements to check for vowels... *shudders in fear*

All I'm wondering is how did @dfox manage to keep this avatar feature a secret while it was in the works? If I was in the process of coding something so elegant, I'd be telling people left and right! Bravo!

Email from a client today: The programmers just need to add an "if/then" code that IF ... BUT NOT ... THEN ... ONLY ... AND ...

God help us if they discover while

Today's English class: if and while clauses
Today's informatics class: if and while clauses

While getting a pro in Kotlin, I started using

when(condition) {
true -> doOneThing()
false -> {
xyz = whatEver()
blaBla()
}
}

instead of simple if-else.
It looks nice but also distracting.

What is your opinion on that?
I guess most will be like:

I have a confession to make. When i started programming it was done in my room all alone for around 6 months. I started watching porn while programming. And eventually only watched porn while coding to a point where I got turned on by programming.

I'm not sure if this further stimulated my love for programming or dimmed it. But sex and coding are now linked in my brain.

If you haven't visited FB in a while, I am happy to tell you... Nothing has changed!

I want to know what brings you Joy while programming/coding?

I've been trying to catch that certain feeling...

For me it's having everything make sense and a logical flow through the code and it works every if it is adding two vars.

And please definitely not the money if you're coding for money then you're not enjoying it.

Hard pill to swallow:

If you get hired as a full stack dev and then complain that you're doing 3 people's (or more) jobs while getting paid for 1,

You had it coming.

Riddle me this:
While calculating software reliability in number of faults per million line of code, would the software become more reliable if the number of lines are increased instead of errors reduced 🤔

Why do programmers take so long in the shower?
They read the directions on the shampoo bottle and follow them to the letter:
Lather, rinse, and repeat.
If only shampoo used for-loops in their instructions...
while(hair.isDirty){
hair.wash();
hair.rinse ();
}
while(hair.isDirty() && !shampoo.isEmpty()){
hair.wash();
hair.rinse();
}
Come on man, we should still stop if we run out of shampoo even if the hair isn't 100% clean yet.
while(hair.isDirty() && !shampoo.isEmpty() && tap.waterStillHot()){
hair.wash();
hair.rinse();
}
This could go on forever, I mean the adding of special cases.

try {
while(hair.isDirty() && !shampoo.isEmpty() && tap.waterStillHot()){
hair.wash();
hair.rinse();
}}
catch(sexException) { self.f___(spouse); } // spouse showed in in mid-rinse
catch(deathException) { spouse.arrangeForBurial(self); } // user died while showering
More importantly, you also need to catch a hairNotFoundException in the event that the user is bald. Or more properly, wrap the whole thing in "if(hair != null)". You don't want bald users throwing an exception every time they shower.

-- From a reddit feed a while back.

Me: *finds exploit in site at work*
Developer of site: "You talk bs"
Me: "lemme show ya"

While I was trying to demo it, the guy quickly patched it xD (making it look as if it didn't work in the first place)

If you can, attend programming contests, code retreats, and meetups, you'll learn a lot from that, experiences like have a fun talk with mate devs about this awesome environment while drinking some beers or eating some pizza is fantastic

One of my teacher hid a "#define while if" in one of my school project :(

There’s something I gotta tell ya.
I posted this a while ago. This Friday, they removed a tumor from my lower lip. I never had tumors before, let alone on my face.
I’ll know if it was malignant or not next Friday.

How has coding impacted my life?
I feel handicapped now if I go somewhere (even just hang out for a while) without my laptop.

Trying to develop an application to post rants about boss with a colleague for over a year. Today, found DevRant while finding a solution to build error. Don't know if I should bother with our application now. FML!

Do you listen to music while you code? And what genre if the answer is positive?

If you keep seeing your watch, while ignoring your laptop time display, then it's time for you to logout of office.

Algorithm of success

while(noSuccess)
{
tryagain();

if(Dead)
break;

}

If you're riding ahead of the herd. Look back once in a while to make sure it's still there.

Am I the only one who gets really excited while looking at how other people solve problems and how they make things? even if not related to dev

I often wonder if our clients seriously think we have an all-knowing crystal ball of wisdom when they send tickets like "Cannot send emails - please check" while they have like 10 servers and email delivery is a complex matter on its own already.

If I didn't care what our clients think, I'd reply with equally informative email of "Maybe, who knows"...

do {
fix_hacked_code();
if(emergency)
write_hacked_code();
} while(working);

while (deadInside)
{
me.drink(coffee);
if (thirstLevel == 0)
{
deadInside = false;
}
}

while ( true ) {
if ( !cond() )
break;
foo( bar() );
}

For the first time ever, I locked up a processor while working. Take that, 24 cores!

Unrelatedly, if someone is in the office, could you please power cycle my box? ...Thanks.

"Even if youre sick, you should have update your Tickets".

I did inform them that I'll be absent. I literally mean that I don't have to work for that. I don't even get to pay while updating my tickets.

So I work on Embedded System. While working on my project I was drinking water from bottle.

And kept it near my laptop.

Just there all my circuits were open. Connected via USB with my laptop.
And while working I tried grab the bottle and guess what?
Yeah, It fell. But thankfully it didn't touch any of my circuits. If it did!!!!

I was frozen on spot.
Phew!!

Set up a 2GB upload to run and a 6GB folder to compress while I went to do an errand. Came back to find computer had rebooted itself while I was out. No reason for it in event logs. Just a random reboot for giggles, I guess. File upload aborted with no resume and I’m unsure if the full folder compressed. Have to start over.

Job interview in an hour while depressed. And I‘m not ready for the thought of “lying” on how great I am if i don’t feel like it. It feels so wrong.

"Did you learn anything while looking over those old scripts?"

Me: "I think that if I'm gonna work here I'm gonna need to resolve some hatred I have towards Visual Basic."

I hate myself so much right now. I just spent an hour finding the bug in the following:

var counter=0
while(1){
if(counter%2==0){
doStuff()
counter++
}
}

Because I thought it was a bug in doStuff().

//run every weekday afternoon
public void workIsOver(int hoursOvertime){

int beerCount = 1;
if (hoursOvertime > 1){
beerCount++;
}

startCar();

int timeHomeMinutes = 20 + Traffic.getTimeLostStuckInTrafficToday();
if (timeHomeMinutes > 40) {
beerCount++;
}

Boolean finallyAtHome = true;

if (goToFridge.checkStock("beer") < beerCount){
Log.e("Dude","WTF?");
}
drink("beer");

while (!girlfriendAtHome){

if (stash != 0){
Joint joint = new Joint(stash);
joint.blaze();
} else {
Log.e("Dude","Seriously?");
}

startAndroidStudio();
workOnSideProject(getCurrentSideProject());

}

girlfriend.communicate();
new AsyncTask<>(thinkAboutCodingInBackground()).execute();

if (bedTime){
try {
doSomeBedroomPartying();
} catch (NullPointerException e) {
Log.w("Sorry","not today");
}

activity.finish();

}
}

One of my coworker insists to take of shoes and socks while coding. He say that cold feet helps him concentrate.

This reminds me one of the Japanese anime about Mahjong, if you know what I am talking about.

while editing a config file if i accidently delete a / i use ctrl+z to undo it.
as if using / on my keyboard to fix the error will somehow make it worse. #ocd

A funny story I just remember while my code is compiling :

Back in high school, in Math, we were taught how algorithm works, and we made some exercises with practical examples.

I didn't know anything about it back then, so was curious. Was pretty fun, but one day, my teacher said that a IF is a loop. I said "no, this is a test" but she keeps saying that it was a loop, ignoring me (I dunno if she actually heard me) and no one actually noticed it as she repeated it several times (while I was saying that it's not). I just gave up trying to say it's wrong.

Best: Becoming an IT contractor

Worst: Not telling more people to "fuck off and go fuck yourself if you're not going to be helpful" while I was perm

Do you listen to music while working and if so what type of music? I personally only listen to instrumental music (mostly jazz and hip-hop) becouse music with vocals makes me crazy!

Fucking search bars. It seems like no one is interested in making search on their website actually work. It always gives me some random shit all while missing relevant results I can find myself by scrolling through menus. It’ll miss stuff even while searching the exact subtext. Every. Single. Time.
If it’s not an open source library’s docs with Algolia, you can forget about their search bar.

If you ask yourself "hm, what does this button do?" while on an important project: DO. NOT. TOUCH. THIS.

My friend who constantly keeps messaging me to switch to windows:
WINDOWS GRAPHICS IS BETTER THAN UR LOONIX HEHEHE FUCC UR OPINION LMAO

le me: can ssh to my linux machine from anywhere and it can handle over 1000 users simultaneously and if one Xorg client on the main machine dies, we can just close it and open another. while their windows' whole graphics crashes if there's too much load on their graphics. We even played minecraft on the main machine lol, while other devs were connected to it.

Software developers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problem.

3 database SQL walked into a NoSQL bar. A little while later, they walked out. Because they couldn't find a table.

If the box says:
"This software requires Windows xp or better."
Does that mean it will run on Linux?

When you see

int i = 0;
while (int i == 0) {
//Code where nothing changes i
}

If you're going to create an infinite loop you could at least write it as

while (true) { }

and save me a little time wondering what the hell 'int i' is for!

Yall know else if()
Now get ready for else while()

Owning BTC be like:

while(alive){

if(stockValueDrops)
cripplingDepression(me);

else
continue;
}

Code of developer's life

int f = 1;
If( life == "smooth")
problems();
else if( life =="hard")
{
problems();
breakup();
}
else
{
while (f = 1)
{
bugs();😣
}
}

You had one job FedEx! ONE JOB!

Guess I'll be waiting a little longer for my new graphics card..... 😒 Wouldn't be so bad if I had another one to use while I waited.

FML!

It's 6am and I could only sleep for 4 hours, if I don't get my morning coffee soon I'm going to cut a bitch
.
.
Also please save the usual "I didn't sleep for a year while climbing a mountain while breast feeding orphans while curing cancer" kind of comments

If you throw a dirty gunk-ice-snow-mix ball into my food while I'm walking to school WHILE I AM REALLY FUCKING HUNGRY, I'm going to pour that now non-edible food onto your head, dimwit.

I don't care if your clothes were expensive or if you threw it in there accidentally. Maybe next time at least throw a non-dirty snowball, there was plenty of fresh snow.

Lost control while standing in the train when it started moving. Stomped in a girls foot in the process.

If she had devRant I am pretty sure she would be ranting about me :(

I can barely code properly while sober. Why would I introduce drunkenness into that equation? If drinking impairs driving heavy machinery, by what logic would it do anything to improve writing code?

While I know I can save a few characters, I think that

if(username.length > 0 && password.length > 0)

looks a lot nicer than just

if(username.length && password.length)

However, I am so lazy that I will probably always use the uglier version just to save like 0.00001 seconds typing.

while(self.isWorking)
{
If(self.bored || !tasks.Length)
exit;
else
devRant();
}

while writing a software for records compilation for a high school, the principal asked if the software would be able to mark the answer sheets from the students,

I'm taking, non multiple choice answer sheets.
hand written.

how?

while (this.isAwake()){
if (this.timeSinceLastCoffee.toString() == "5hr") {
this.cup.refill();
this.drinkCoffee();
}
}

Life will be much easier if we can use "try and catch" while doing something. Yes, just like programming language.

If I had a gun to my head and I had to choose between C#and Java (not like a JVM language like Scala), I think I would go with C# nowadays.
Thoughts while playing around with .Net Core on Linux Mint 17.

while (!SolveProblem())
{
cryCounter++;
If (cryCounter.getDays > dueDate.days)
{
bool cried = tryNotToCry();
if (cried) cryALot();
}
}

If you think walking on your parents while they're having sex is bad, hear(read) this:
Today I heard my mom asked my dad her email's password, and she's a doctor. Why and how can't you memorize your only password? I mean if she wasn't a doctor this situation would be more believable.

What 2016 felt like...

while (true) {
year = 2016;
if (shittyness > 100000) break;
shittyness++;
}

bool showUpLateToWork=true;
bool rememberHeadPhones=false;
String DayOfWeek=Tuesday;
int hoursSpentOnPhoneLastNight=
int productivity = 100 - hoursSpentOnPhoneLastNight;
if(showUpLateToWork)
missStandup();
}
if(rememberHeadPhones)
Productivity +=10
Else
Productivity -=50;

While (hourOfDay(now()) <17)
{
drinkMntDew();
discussDataQualityIssuesWithBusiness();
lookThroughTonsOfPoorlyWrittenCodeForDefectThatBusinessWantsFixedYeasterday();
dieOnTheInside();
curseProjectTeamForPassingCrapCodeToMaintainaceTeam();
cry();
curseComputerApplicationsForNotResponding();
visitBathroomWhileLurkingDevrant();
}
goHome();
while (!asleep && hourOfDay(now()) > 17)
{
playWithPuppy();
qualityTimeWithMyWife();
pkayLeagueOfLegends();
netflixAndChill('litterally');
for (int i =1; i <=5; i++)
showLoveUsingLoveLanguage(i);
try
{
makeBaby();
} catch
{
learnPatience();
}
cuddle();
if(!wifeAwake)
checkDevrant()
}

Rant!
Others: hey, can you do this?... //details scrapped
Me: (after thinking a while) yes.
Others: Perfect! Can it be done like 2 days ago?
My mental image: throws my laptop to he/her face while shouting if it's so easy you should fucking do it!

If PyTorch > Tensorflow:
print("True")

Output:
True
True
True
True
......
......
.....
True

Wait a minute? Is this a While True loop?
Doesn't look like an if condition xD

Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.

Job security:
- Create bugs purposely
- Discover the bugs after a while (if you discover it too quickly it will look suspicious)
- Fix the bug

The YouTube suggestion about deactivating the AdBlocker on my browser on my computer, made me feel as if someone told me to untie my seatbelt while driving or to take off the condom while having sex

It’s my safety, it’s my mind, it’s my time!

The worst infinite loop of all.

while(hasPoopOnTP( )){
if(goodEnough( )){
break; //it's never good enough
}
ass.wipe( );
}

Developer me = new Developer();
Day myDay = new Day();
for(int i = 0; myDay.hour < 5; i++) {
me.sleep();
myDay.hour++;
}
if(myDay.hour == 5) {
me.wakeUp();
me.rant();
me.getDressed();
me.driveToWork();
myDay.hour += 3;
}
while(myDay.hour>8 && myDay.Hour<16) {
me.work();
me.rant();
myDay.hour++;
}
if(myDay.hour == 16) {
me.clockOut();
me.driveHome();
myDay.hour += 2;
}
while(myDay.hour < 22) {
me.rant();
me.code();
myDay.hour++;
}
if(myDay.hour == 22) {
myDay.end();
me.sleep();
}

I wonder if they thought about responsive design back in the 90s while resizing terminals in desktop computers..

i literally listen to elon musk interviews while studying even if im not listening because i could listen to this man all day

Meanwhile if someone has virus attack while using windows they must be prescribed this.

I don't advocate low code solutions. But what Microsoft is doing with Power Fx is legit pretty cool.

If anything it would expose people to learn about proper development since the formulas can grow bigger than standard small Excel formulas while simultaneously exposing them to a declarative and functional style of coding. According to what I am seeing, and y'all correct me if I am wrong, but this seems to be made to let pro devs jump in and help with more complex code while at the same time exposing it to non devs in an easy way.

I kinda dig this one

Oh one boi

or maybe
#define while if

r/ProgrammerHumour

Programming while drunk:

if (not drunk !== yes) { then return dance.png } else {return 'idk"}

I shouldn't rant while crunk let alone program 😂🙄

I get listening to music while you code, but I’m afraid I just can’t believe in watching a TV show while you code. You’re not coding, you’re watching a show. Or if you are coding, the level of code that’s being written is probably low enough to make it a waste of time.

Are you even a web developer if you haven't banged your head on the desk coz the carousel refused to be responsive while you were busy correcting 15 other misalignments?

While testing the latest version of an app I'm building (side project), I actually laughed out loud and was having fun. Even if it goes nowhere, this was worth it.

i have been browsing trough my gists and this is what I have found.

HAI
HOW DUZ I PRINTSMILE
VISIBLE "SMILEZ!"!
IF U SAY SO

HOW DUZ I PRINTSMILEZ NUMBERZ
I HAS A SMILEZLINE ITZ ""
IM IN YR LOOP NERFIN YR NUMBERZ WHILE NUMBERZ BIGGR THAN 0
SMILEZLINE R SMOOSH SMILEZLINE AN "SMILEZ!" MKAY
IM OUTTA YR LOOP
VISIBLE SMILEZLINE
IF U SAY SO

VISIBLE "O HAI! NOT MY WERK! LOL!:):)DIS WAY CUZ I LIEK SMOOSH:)"

I HAS A COUNTER ITZ 3
IM IN YR LOOP NERFIN YR COUNTER WHILE COUNTER BIGGR THAN 0
PRINTSMILEZ COUNTER
IM OUTTA YR LOOP
VISIBLE ":)N DIS WAY CUZ QUESTION. LOL!:)"
COUNTER R 3
IM IN YR LOOP NERFIN YR COUNTER WHILE COUNTER BIGGR THAN 0
I HAS A UDDERCOUNTER ITZ COUNTER
IM IN YR INNERLOOP NERFIN YR UDDERCOUNTER WHILE UDDERCOUNTER BIGGR THAN 0
PRINTSMILE
IM OUTTA YR INNERLOOP
VISIBLE ":)"!
IM OUTTA YR LOOP
VISIBLE ":)LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!:):)KTHXBYE"
KTHXBYE

"Everyone is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid."

This is good to remember this one once in a while...

<meta-rant>
Kind of surprising to see how many people here learned to program while under 18 (like me) instead of from a traditional college. Curious if that affects anyone else's choice to go to college.
</meta-rant>

Do
{
// TODO: Do some proper naming
var myEgg = new Egg();
if(firstRun)
{
Paint(myEgg, red);
}
else
{
Paint(myEgg, randomPaint());
}
}While(isEaster())

Working 40 hours per week while doing freelancer stuff and now a fking masters degree due september this year. How do you guys manage it? I dont know if I could do it all... Fuck it

Just sitting around waiting for a 220GB Database to import, if I had a spare PCI-E port I could have used a 240GB NVMe PCIe SSD but now I have to use an old Seagate 500gb HHD. Gonna be a while.

Mr Chew, if I leave my phone at home while I'm at work, is tiktok going to sleep with my wife?

While speaking i cant say if without an else.
I guess it's programming syndrome

Hpw cool would it be if devRant eventually was able to run in a multi window for android? Would really love to play some YouTube videos while scrolling through the feed

while(isProgramming){
If(hasCoffee){
Destroy(sleep);
}
wait(Date.timeOfHr*5);

//Never stop coding
isProgramming=true;
}

I'm currently missing a university class because of a wincrap update I didn't consent to. It didn't even ask if it can reboot, it just randomly did it while I was working.

Do I have some sort of legal grounds to sue?

I’m curious what works for you? Lyrics or instrumental music while you’re working? I find myself preferring instrumental music while I’m thinking about a problem. The music can be technical and busy or super chill, but lyrics always distract me.

Of course, If I’m just half focused and grinding out mock responders for my unit tests then lyrics are fine.

Can't believe how seriously fucked up AWS's documentation is. Did they just forget about it midway while making a service ? If it weren't for StackOverflow, I'd be pulling my hair.

I don't really know if I can ask it, but wich music do you hear while coding?

What type of music do you listen to while programming ?
Share your playlist if you have any

It's been quite a while since I've been hit with a product/app idea that's making me lose my sleep and making me want to quit my job and start working full time on it.

Let's see if I can pull this off.

var dayInMyLife = function(data) {
var checkDevRant = setInterval(function() { openDevRant(); }, Math.random()*10000),
workday = (data.day.toLowerCase() == 'saturday' || data.day.toLowerCase() == 'sunday' || data.holiday == true) ? false : true;
if (workday) {
var schedule = {
'wakeup': '06:45',
'travelToWork': {
'time': '07:10',
'method': 'walking'
},
'lunch': '11.00',
'travelToHome': {
'time': '15:30',
'method': 'walking'
}
};
while (atWork) {
keepZeroInbox();
beAmongDinosaurs();
if (checkForProjects()) {
doProject();
};
while (noisyCoworkers) {
useNoiseCancellationHeadset();
};
};
spendPreciousFreeTimeWithFamily();
enterSleepMode();
}
}
var today = dayInMyLife({'day': 'monday', 'holiday': false});

if you ever run into issues while programming, try using blockchain, it works 100% of the time

I've been trying to sleep for a while now. Counting sheep isn't helping because now the sheep have a whiteboard and are writing down answers to fix my bugs :/

Edit: if you were wondering, there is 1 sheep as of right now

I wonder would it be good if while replying a comment of a rant show the comment we are replying to.

Sometimes i just forget what i want to write, so i need to go back to see the comment.

!rant

Staying up a bit later to try to get something to work that you have been stuck on for a while and actually getting it to work is a good feeling even if the solution was a bit hacky.

#include<semester.h>
#include<tension.h>
void pain()
{
mind=confused;
while(study!=done)
{
paper = back;
parents=scold;
}
if(i==pass)
{
tension free;
}
else
{
go to hell;
}

//I find a couple beers after hours relaxes the mind enough to work through the problem. aka The Ballmer Peak.

while(stuck == true) {
if(time < endDay) {
console.log("Keep working");
} else if(time > endDay && beers < 2) {
beers ++;
} else if(time > endDay && beers >= 2) {
stuck = false;
}
}

while(time.isTicking()) {
if(localTimeDate.toTimestamp() >= 1577836800L)
System.out.println("HAPPY NEW YEAR!");
}

I am using Permiso for runtime permissions in Marshmallow and up. So I spent hours finding a way to check if a user has selected "never ask again" while denying permission. And at last found it.

while(life):
if(YouTube):
watch()
else:
getBored()

while project != Finish :
if stomach == full :
keepCoding()
else :
orderPizza()
if project == Finish
goOut()

(Fyi, can't indent here. LoL. I am glad there isn't python around to blurt errors on my face 😂)

It took long enough for google to do something so basic.

So currently if you have provided mic or camera access to one of the apps, then it can also access those features while running in background..

define myDay() {
if (time==0600) {
while (sleeping == true) {
xiaomi.miBand.vibrate();
}
}
morningCoffee = new coffee("Strong");
sleep(120); // Gotta let that cool
while (morningCoffee.state.empty == false) {
morningCoffee.drink();
}
while (time > 0630) {
putFaceOn();
}
leaveForStation();
while (train.overground.atStation() == false) devRant.scroll;
getOnTrain();
while (train.overgrond.atStation("Kenton") == false) devRany.scroll;
getOffTrain();
getBus();
while (getToUni == false) devRant.writePost.wk4;
devRant.uploadPost.wk4;
while (time > 1300) project.workHard();
while (time > 1400) lunch.obliterate();
while (time > 2100) project.meetDeadline();
walkToFlat();
goToBed();
}

function day() {

do {
if(baby.sleeps()) {
try {
sleep(getAlarmTime() - getTime());
} catch (e) {
wakeUp();
}
}
} while (getTime() < getAlarmTime());

eat(breakfast);

commute(work);

work();

eat(lunch);

work();

commute(home);

cook(dinner);

eat(dinner);

switch (babyStatus) {
case 'awake':
entertainBaby();
break;

case 'asleep':
if(getRandom(1, 100) === 100) {
doSideProject();
} else {
playOverwatch();
}
}

return;

}

How dangerous am I?
I code it live.

I code while people are working on our website and make all the changes live. And if I notice an abrupt stop in responses to our logs I git stash my changes.

It seems that most of us feel under appreciated for our hard work. Would it kill managers to say "thank you", or say "great work" once in a while? Until then, I'll continue wondering if my work is good enough.

TL;DR: There was a Steam bug and I fixed it locally.

Some months ago, Steam had the problem, that if you tried to add anything from the Steam Workshop to a collection, you would get an error like "Process failed: 2", while it was loading the collection list.
I realized, that it would work, but there was a bug in the JS (Watched the network tab in chrome while trying to add to collection). I searched after "Process failed" in each js file and after 30 seconds I found the buggy if. It said something like
if (json.success != 2) {
//do error
} else {
//show list
}

After I changed that if condition to
if (false)...
it worked perfectly, although it would make problems if there would be a server side error.

Programmer lesson #3
Always focus on a single task while coding...
If you encounter any non blocking bug or additional task add it in `Do-it-later` list...
If you don't...the bug or task might take majority of crucial time which you should actually utilise for the main task at hand...

do you guys think multitasking is a high standard? at work we deem it essential, but i wonder if it's too much to expect new people to pick up on our pace. if we're not coding in a meeting while answering texts and emails, we're not getting anything done

So this isn’t a programming related question.

Does anyone know if learning things while listening to something while you sleep actually shows results?

Don't attempt to debug a crash on startup using visual studio remote debugger over team viewer vpn using the worlds worst German hotel internet connection.

If you do, get a drink while it takes 2 minutes for the debugger to break.

So, a while ago i thought i was the inventor of the while-if. If a while statement fails, it would execute the else behind it. I had that idea for the C language:

It looks like this:
while(false){
// will not be executed since while condition is false
}else{
// will be executed since while condition is false
}

I've contacted the C work group if it is something to build in C since it prolly won't break any existing code bases.

I was enthousiast. Imagine if you could invent a new feature to such a classing language.

I got response back: is it like the python while-else?

Me, been while have been python developer for a while, finds out NOW that python has it already! Damn, such a great language.

while False:
# won't be executed
else:
# will be executed

DAMMIT! Still, they said that it doesn't mean it won't become a standard and got requested more examples. Did that ofc. Let's hope

My Coding Loop :

while (working) {
coding();
createNewBug();
if (bugs != 0) {
fixTheFuckingBugs();
if (bugs != 0) {
fuckMySelf();
} else {
continueWorking();
}
}
}

No bug:

while (work.isAt()) { if (work.isDone()) break; else continue; work.doMore(); }

Made a small text adventure type game with C++ when I was a kid. Was great to just play that over and over and revel in my mastery of if statements and while loops.

Local underpaid developer with stress related hair loss thinks of reasons to die while excessively paid boss looks over his shoulder and asks him if he can do some overtime.

Someone just explain me why. I really can't figure other reason that beeing too lazy to think a condition while writing a "while loop".

At university, a colleague asked me what i think of his code. I see something like that:

while ( 1 ){
...
if (condition)
break;
...
}

Am I a fucking genius thinking that just moving condition into while will improve readability, or am i a fucking stupid ? Really not the first time seeing this, maybe i am missing something.

If I had a penny for every "Ohhhhh you hacker!" I've gotten while installing packages through apt

@ : look u r my homie but if yo bitch dont stop doin ket while i tryta home office, imma pop u...

Uh so I might be getting a job at a local coffee shop while I go through college. I’ve never had a job before so idk if I’m doing the right thing or if I’m rushing into it.

Does anybody knows if letsencrypt SSL works with Cloudflare or not?
Because I'm unable to use letsencrypt SSL while using free version of Cloudflare :(

My favourite Visual Studio feature is that if you try to scroll while selecting with the left mouse button, it just kind of spazzes up and down annoyingly.

Random: What kind of music do you listen to when working?

I'm sure a lot, if not most folks on this website have headphones on while coding.

True story: After making a mistake while writing a check, I literally reached out to an imaginary keyboard and wanted to ctrl+z it... if only life was that simple

My teamleader blabbering about how I shouldn't listen to late shows with my earbuds while I work is rubbing me the wrong way.

"How can you focus while listening to them hurr durr", as if we didn't all do 20 tasks at once on a daily basis anyway.

import datetime as dt

while(True):
time_left = 24
work_hours = 8
trained_today = False

while(work_hours>0):
do_work()
listen_to_music()
browse_interesting_feeds()
work_hours -= 1
time_left -= 1

while(time_left>0):

if trained_today == False:
train()
trained_today = True

eat()

if dt.datetime.now().hour > 23:
time_left -= time_left

TLDR: It's okay to take naps while working from home
Brief:
I feel that there is nothing wrong with taking afternoon naps while working from home. Mainly because after taking rest for a couple of hours my mind is re-energised and I am able to pull off quite a lot of work in much lesser time after waking up and my overall productivity for the day roughly remains same.
This is mainly because if I end up staying awake even when I am tired and sleepy there is not much productive work done even if my number of hours online increase.
And if a company has strict measures set for calculating the number of hour employee stays online while working from home then it will actually reduce overall employee productivity rather than having any kind of actual benefits.

It would be great if we can pull to refresh on a post because the refresh button seems like it's in Paris while I'm in Colorado. It's a commonly used action, so it's position should be well deserved.

While I'm reading this, I have a doubt in my mind.
"How many people will actually read the entire book?
If nobody gonna read the whole thing, why wrote this long in the first place?"