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@Devintrix , congrats and happy lifes with your wife. this joke is for you :)
Dear Tech Support:
Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program began running unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources.
In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initialization, where it monitors all other system activity. Applications such as PokerNight 10.3, Drunken Boys Night 2.5 and Monday Night football 5.0 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected.
I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run some of my other favorite applications. I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but un-install does not work on this program.
Can you help me please?
Thanks,
Joe
——————————————————–
Dear Joe:
This is a very common problem men complain about but is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a “UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT” program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by its creator to run everything.
It is unlikely you would be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0. Hidden operating files within your system would cause Girlfriend 7.0 to emulate Wife 1.0 so nothing is gained.
It is impossible to un-install, delete, or purge the program files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this. Some have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than the original system.
I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the situation. Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Partnership Faults (GPFs). You must assume all responsibility for faults and problems that might occur, regardless of their cause. The best course of action will be to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE. The system will run smoothly as long as you take the blame for all the GPFs.
Wife 1.0 is a great program, but very high maintenance. Consider buying additional software to improve the performance of Wife 1.0. I recommend Flowers 2.1, Jewelry 2.2, and Chocolates 5.0.
Do not, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This is not a supported application for Wife 1.0 and is likely to cause irreversible damage to the operating system.
Best of luck,
Tech Support11 -
Client: we need extraordinary website in ordinary price.
Me: ohk *google search* WordPress free theme.12 -
Real Chat with new female friend.
Me : what are you studying now?
she : First year of MBBS
Me : that's nice. Generally boys/girls take admission in engg and commerce.
she : yuk. I hate engineer's and engineering specially that PC worm's(soft engg).
Me : k
She : what are you studying?
Me : soft engg
she : I didn't mean it.
Me : it's ok
-_-
WTF man32 -
Looks like Apple is the new Microsoft and Microsoft is the new Apple...
I remember when every release of Windows was a catastrophic mess and you had to wait until at least SP2 to get the OS to work in a stable way. And Internet Exploder was *the* browser that broke everything, every time. And there was the whole embrace/extend thing, where they tried to impose their vision of web standards and compatibility, and *everything* you used *had* to come from Microsoft...
And now, it's Apple who fuck up every single OS release, on mobile and desktop, and whose browsers openly shit on web standards (ever try developing anything for Mobile Safari?). Apple's stuff that only works with Apple stuff (down to things like headphone jacks - OOPS, forgot, they dropped those now).
Microsoft is making interesting, beautiful hardware (Surface machines) while Apple is pushing un-innovative, overpriced garbage year in year out. And they're open-sourcing more and more, while Apple walls itself further and further behind its walled "garden". Bleh.
Be interesting to see in 10 years what will have shifted, because it'll change again by then.15 -
My bosses, bosses, boss asked to call me up unexpectedly:
BBBoss:" Just wanted to say we are really happy with your performance, especially in these tough circumstances, ... "
Me thinking: "Ah, great I am getting laid off."
BBBoss: " ... which is why we decided to give you and extra 1000$ in you next paycheck."
Me: "??? ... for real."
BBBoss: "yes, thank you for your hard work."
Me: "I am still employed?"
BBBoss (laughs) :"Yes, we are happy to have you."8 -
I have a telephone headset with a "confusing" mute button. Sometimes it works normally, but quite often it will "double-toggle" (toggle twice as though I pressed it twice, which essentially has no effect) - so I'm either left muted or left un-muted, the same as before I pressed the button at all - so I have to press it again, sometimes several times, for it to actuary work.
While I'm at my desk, I have a visual indicator of mute status (a light that turns green for un-muted or red for muted), so I can easily tell if my mic is hot or not. My old headset had a nice audible beep reminder if I was muted, but the new headset? Nope, not-so-much.
I work from home, while my wife works at an office; so each morning she leaves, but I stay in the home office. I almost always see her off one way or another, usually doing or saying something funny as she heads out.
So, one day, I'm on a large conference call with a number of cross-team managers, and my wife is about to head out the door. With the meeting droning on in my headset, I was in the kitchen with her for a while helping finish clean up after breakfast and getting her ready to go.
She needed to pack an ice-pack for some reason, and for the random humor of it, I start screaming something to the effect of "GIMMIE YO ICE PACKS - GIMMIE ALLLL YO ICE PACKS - YEAH! YEAH! IMMA PUT MY BAAAAAAAAALLLLLS ON IT - WHOOOOOOOOO!"
During which time I am jumping around like a crazy person, including actually grabbing one of the ice packs, putting it down the front of my pants and screaming. Loudly.
It was after my own screaming I overheard more than one person yelling on the bridge line "YOU'RE NOT MUTED! YOU'RE NOT MUTED!"
I have seldom felt such raw, unadulterated panic.
I rushed back to my home office - yes, the green light is on my desk - my mic is hot. When I pressed mute at some point earlier in the call, it double-toggled, leaving me un-muted, and I never knew.
Even more embarrassing was the chat session I saw on my computer screen. It was from my manager (one of the managers on the call) - he had pinged me several times while I was in the kitchen.
It read something like:
hey, you there?
is that your phone
I think your phone isn't muted
mute
dude, mute
is that you?
MUTE!
did you just say balls?10 -
You know you're fucked when google returns less than a page of results on your short three word query. The first result is the only question on SO related to your problem un-answered for two years and the rest of them are in Chinese or Russian.8
-
what a irony !
manager using MBP 2017 for browsing and presentation.
graphic designer is working on window xp sp2 dual core.
coreldraw
-_-5 -
one of my cousin ask me to help him for uploading his ex's private pics and videos on porn websites.
Because her parents are not allowing their marriage and she is not ready to go against family (he is not working anywhere, Jobless)
I simply take screenshots of our chat and send to his ex and her parents.
Hope they will punish him.16 -
once you start using linux on laptop. here is a condition of your mouse.
i don't know when I touched it last time.
16 -
I had a coworker used to write PHP pages in this way:
<?php
echo "<html>";
echo "<head>";
// 2000+ lines of un-indented nightmares
I tried suggesting him to keep the HTML outside php tags as much as possible and I stressed out that adding some indentation to the code would have improved readability. I also sent him an example of my code created using an IDE with auto-indent functionality.
His creepy answer was: «Readability is subjective. Anyway I'll try to get used to the sinusoidal trend of your code.»11 -
A ecom website which sales premium gold product from 50k to 170k INR.
database : mysql
all passwords and user ID's are saved in plain text.23 -
I applied to Amazon recently not really thinking about it I was just bored. Dropped my CV and I was asked to fill in why would I want to work in that position. I un-ironically put “It sounds like a lot of fun”, got rejected instantly then got an unrelated message from an Amazon recruiter from another division inviting me to apply, rejected it because it didn’t sound as fun.
I’m an honest bloke I just want to have fun.
11 -
If you are not wasting your 10hours to automate your half hour work then you are not a real programmer.6
-
If programming languages had honest slogans, what would they be?
-C : Because fuck you.
-C++ : Fuck this.(- Dan Allen )
-Visual Basic : 10 times as big but only 5 times as stupid.
-Lisp : You’re all idiots.
-JavaScript : You guys know I’m holding up the internet, right ?
-Scala : That was a waste of 4 weeks.
-Go : Tell me about it, Scala.
-Python : All we are saying, is give un-typed a chance.
-R : Whoa, I was supposed to be a statistics package!
-Java : Like a Roomba, you guess it’s OK but none of your friends use it.
-PHP : Do Not Resuscitate.
-Perl : PHP, take me with you.
-Swift : Nobody knows.
-HTML : No.
-CSS : I said no.
-XML : Stop.
Source:@Quora: https://quora.com/If-programming-la...6 -
So today is Monday. A bug report comes asking to be fix. I feels weird reading the report. Then I check the codes.
SOMEONE MESSING WITH MY CODES!!!
The other developer codes a very un-dynamic function that gives birth to bugs. Know what? He replaced my original codes with his faulty codes. 😑 😐
3 -
My boyfriend, actually. But I value the human aspect more than the tech genius in fairness. He may be no Linus Torvalds but I don't care and wouldn't change him.
Why him?
He's very kind to less experienced developers and always happy to help them. He teaches them not only how to solve things but how to get un-stuck the next time and what to learn.
His code reviews are inside out, not just a quick scan, he gives a chance to learn and takes one for himself too.
He takes pride in delivering great quality, well thought over code, on time.
He owns his mistakes and isn't afraid to admit when he makes them.
He reads a ton of tech books and always learns something new yet stays humble while discussing things he knows a lot about.
He has a ton of hobbies other than coding which he's good at.
Ah there, yeah whatever I'm a big softie today 😋 he's not on DevRant btw. Also sometimes I want to punch him too, but mainly he's a good guy :)5 -
I've been wondering for a while, how the backend my team has to use could have so many issues. I was convinced they had no alerting system in place and have been commenting on it for a while now, and complaining about it.
Was on a Zoom call with one of the backend devs today, he shared his screen and had his email open. I saw a folder he had setup called alerts, and sub folders under that. One of them was named the name of the service/app we are using ... it had over 360,000 un-reads ... and emails are automatically deleted after 4 months in my company.
So they have alerts setup, they just don't care ... problem solved. Enjoy your weekend folks!2 -
Weekend plan:
1. I will watch react conf
2. I want to complete vim cheat sheet
3. LFS project is too
4. Netflix
5. ........
...
.
.
Electricity : 😈
Fuck..
😡2 -
Best client ever:
Yesterday I meet my new client. He need portfolio website for his logistics business.
So I meet him and explain my previous experience in website development.
After 1hour he gave me advance 50% of total cost.1 -
In a moment of boredom I decided to pen test the new system I've been writing on the live server. Ran sqlmap but forgot to proxy my connection.
DDOS protection kicked in and blocked the entire offices connection to the server, had to drive home quickly to use my home internet to un-blacklist my office ip. 😂10 -
A PR I raised was left un-reviewed for 3 months. And finally when shit hit the fan, I was asked why I never worked on the fix.
I pointed to the PR I raised 3 months ago and I got absolutely flamed for it because obviously, it was my fault that I did my part, asked for a review and moved on to other tasks.
According to my manager, I should have kept pushing for the PR to be reviewed.
I wanted to set the office on fire that day.5 -
Visual Studio Code.
I've tried you because of hearing a lot of good stuff about you. I'd switch back to netbeans regardless because I love netbeans and I always try to use as little as possible from companies like Google/microsoft/facebook (and others) but what you're pulling right now is un-fucking-believable.
I've disabled ANY AND EVERY form of calling home I could (find) in your settings. Crash reports, automatic updates, metrics, you name it. I've searched all the fucking settings but I can't find any other home calling thing that's enabled and yet:
I'm monitoring every goddamn DNS request (through my own DNS server) and I'm still seeing calls to a Microsoft owned domain. Closed all my browser sessions and you as well and it stopped. Started browser again but not you, nothing.
Started you again: BAM. Calls to that damned Microsoft owned domain again.
If you can't honour my decision for disabling any form of home calls, go fuck yourself.
Netbeans, I'm back, I've missed you 💜34 -
Weekends be like:
Half day = *thinking* what should I do in weekend
Half day= *thinking in regret* I didn't do anything productive
😂😂😂3 -
An un-rant on Universities. (UC Irvine)
A lot of my friends and I are about to graduate 👨🎓 from UCI, with Computer Science degrees.
Most of them are complaining that they don't know any current frameworks, and all that we learned is outdated.
And that pretty much any bootcamper knows more tools that any of us do.
I totally disagree. I don't think it's the university's job to teach you tools (node, tencerflow, ...), rather, I think they made us into programming Swiss Army knifes. I can pick up any framework (I wanna be a web dev) real easy, and when shit breaks down, I can easily figure out the issue.
I think that's the major difference between Computer Scientists and Bootcampers/Programmers. We know "why", while they know "how".
What do you think? Is the current price of a CS degree worth it?21 -
When I was 13 yrs old, I played Counter strike. One day by chance, I went into its program files folder and started looking through the files. There I found a bots.db which I opened on Notepad++. I found out that unlike many other files, it had un-garbled text. So I studied its contents and soon realized that it contained bot profiles. I edited skill levels of some of them and opened the game. To my delight, the bot's skill did change. It was so awesome, I can now complete the missions I was stuck in. That was the moment I had first wanted to go into Software Development field but I only started to code 4 years later.5
-
*while drinking tea at cafe area*
me*thinking* : may be this is going to solve that error
yes
yess
yesssss
I got solution
but wait let's first drink this tea then I will try this solution
*came back on desk*
me*thinking* : -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
what was solution ? wtf?1 -
It's 1:20am
Body: let's sleep.
Heart: beer or rum.
Brain: why the hell js is not working as expected? -
If only there were some previous example of a mouse with a cord in a more convenient spot Apple could've used as a reference...
At least you don't need a mouse to commit, push and stare at devRant😅.
4 -
Some guy in my programming class just made a bunch of commits with only empty lines and a picture of Kim Jong-un...
3 -
My life was total mess up before this I.e.
Break
Return from death door
Drop in education
Financial unstable
Literally 1.5-2years was worst.
From last 3-5 months
I gave up FB(personal account ,I need it for digital marketing)
Unfollow every entertainment page from Instagram
Join Twitter
Increase activity in devrant
Subscribe to development related content in reddit
New YouTube channel just for learning purpose (never search songs and other stuff on it)
Start reading books like zero to one,think and grow rich....
Biography's of great people's like
Steve jobs
Elon Musk
Shivaji Maharaj
And many more
Stop chatting on stupid topics (hot girls,....)
Attained meditation camp
Start meditation (Vipassana)
Life feels more sorted
Thanks everyone13 -
The more I visit a wide range of sites, the more I hate obnoxious cookie policy pop ups. The ones that take 2/3 are UN-FUCKING-NECESSARY.
Web devs that make them like this can you please tell me why?12 -
OS : Tail OS ✓
pass : 16+ ✓
Update password : every 15 days ✓
Mac address : spoofing ✓
Then you realise
Your Aadhar information is in gov DB.
14 -
!rant
Many dev ranting that apple is reached $1T by selling stupid connector's...... and other shit.
I am not apple product owner.
But Today I want to salute steve jobs.
A person without college degree,drug addiction,guilt of adopted son,financial issue's without any god father........................
Created one company.
Kicked out from own company.
Joinned again.
developed such policy in company that every one should follow.
took retirement due to cancer and all right's transfer to A Gay CEO.
and
now that company reached $1T.
Really fucking motivational thing.
Nothing is impossible.26 -
Most awkward work event/parts story?
There was a girl who worked in customer service, very goth. Un-kept hair, baggy cloths, dark lipstick, etc..etc. At a company holiday party there were several+many people (mostly dudes) asking "Who is that! ... She's HOT!!" etc (you could hear it from various tables), and someone said "That's Stefanie.", then the "Noooo...OMG..."
Apparently she cleaned up nicely (dressed like she was going to a movie premier, very classy). She and a female friend (also attractive, dressed like a million bucks) were sitting close to each together and you could hear more (inappropriate) comments "OMG, are they together!?...that's fucking hot!....".
Mind you, this wasn't a very big venue (and before all of today's woke-ness), I could hear it a few tables away (again, all dudes, customer service and warehouse worker folks), I *know* they could hear it from their table.
It was so bad Stefanie's CS manager talked about in the break room the next day. She wasn't at the holiday party, but the rumors were going wild that day.
<she's in her 60's and I wouldn't want to be on her bad side>
D: "I can't believe they made such a scene. I would have smacked those young men in the face! Stefanie has a boyfriend and Laura is married. They have been best friends since kindergarten, its disgusting what went on. And another thing..."
It was talked about for many years afterward.3 -
I'm task to amend the code smell in the project. I literally can cry a river.
I see such thing as i = i++; - It's flag out as a bug.
I have also seen check in classes. With un-used variables. I literally cried.
In the past, i ask why do i got to care about code quality. I actually start to get angry like the team leads in my project.
7 -
What the fuck man.
Why even I am working with this assholes.
Yesterday,Our technical support guy reinstalled windows(I don't mess up with technical issues because then it will be my part time job,so I show that I don't know anything about hardware).
He installed fucking 32 bit window,He was trying to installed 64 bit version thunderbird.
He wasted my whole day.16 -
long message
whatsapp : * scroll *
reply : depend on last line happy sad whatever emoji ,sent same
devrant : *something important ,I must read everything* -
client : show website
me: sir server is down
client : what? I don't know,I want to see my website.
me: sir try to understand it is not my issue
client *call cut*
fucking asshole -_-1 -
When you see what worked for someone else with a similar issue on GitHub and run it.
Trust me, I hope I know what I'm doing too.
1 -
Updated a website for an older client today. Realized I originally wrote their website in 2002.
That web site is a fucking non-responsive piece of shit... but it is still running normally after 18 years.
Just HTML/CSS and some light JS/PHP for form processing. It's not fancy but it still performs and works perfect on Desktop and OK on mobile. Mobile devices which DID NOT EXIST when I wrote it.
Let this be a lesson to the entire new class of developers who seems to think you need some framework to develop. You don't. And I GUARANTEE if that site used any framework that framework would have been retired or updated to un-useability 10 years ago.
Meanwhile my LAMP ass "web native" shit spaghetti with ZERO DEPENDENCIES is still just chugging the fuck along.4 -
Fuck Android Oreo and everyone who thought that the following ideas are useful:
- xy app is running in the background notification, which can't be disabled
- xy app is overlaying other apps, click here if you wish to disable it. But you can't disable the notification, you can only disable the app.
- the un-zeroable data limit. It can't be disabled, you can only set it to a retarded high number to avoid annoying notifications
Go suck a veiny one Android devs. Fucking cunt faces.
13 -
If I do it in python : Finish in one day!
If I do it in C++ :
1 week for installation and configuration
3 days for coding
Another 1 day for troubleshooting...
But I will still prefer do it in C++.5 -
Skills required for ML :
Math skills:
|====================|
Programming skills :
|===|
Skills required for ML with GPU:
Math skills:
|====================|
Programming skills :
|====================|
/*contemplating career choice*/
: /3 -
When there is no WiFi internet
Me:
1.checking router connection
2. Opening the WiFi admin portal and checking the port and socket.
3. Open CMD and ping www.google.com
My dad: Just un-plug it and plug it again
Me: 😶4 -
>Throw my phone on the bed in preparation for going to sleep
>Turn the lights off and quickly pull the blanket off the bed to straighten it
>Hear this un-earthly sound of my phone crashing to the floor and sliding across the floorboards
>.....1 -
Previously, I rant in twitter but none of my followers understand them.
So now I am gonna switch here.
Please bear with me. (^.^)d1 -
Imagine: It's the year 2109.
You pay a subscription of $2.00/week to be able to shut off your alarm.
You open up your laptop and after watching 5 un-skippable ads, Windows 35 boots up so you can start working.
You start VSCode and it requires you to watch an ad, to boot up.
You pay a subscription of $29.99/month to get full access to your keyboard.
You pick up your mobile phone and you have to pay a subscription of $49.99/month to be able to unlock your phone as many times as you want.
Your mobile network allows you to make 1 phone call free for the day, post which you have to pay $1.50 per call. Data costs are seperate and its sold to you as a package, labled as an "Offer".
Your salary is compared to peanuts even though tech has gone beyond its limits.
Life is Good.12 -
I attended a 2-days scientific conference last week which lasted from 9 AM-7 PM.
I submit my travel expenses today and the university adm got guts to tell me that
I should commute 6 hours everyday to that place instead of staying in a hotel.
Please people, I contribute making our research and name renown to the public. I don't even get paid doing that (did it for the sake of experience).
The least you can do is to support the accomodation. The penny pinching you did in the name of cost saving is embarrasing.
I didn't like every hour spent working in the uni, yet people still ask me why I won't continue to PhD.
No offence to all PhDs out there. It's just that my practical and money-oriented ass couldn't
stand all the free work I have to do if I do that.
I'd rather work in a supermarket, at least I'm getting paid of what I'm worth.
😕7 -
Don't scroll here.
Go and live a real life,
Don't make a computer screen as your world,
there is a beautiful world outside of your cave,
Talk with people's face to face,
go
go
go.
Ok enough philosophy, Time to add new shit in current shitty code.
(-_-)5 -
I'm a noob so I was dumb enough to google 'Eyeballs' in case it's a kind of tools that I don't known yet.
😕
3 -
This scene is an 8-year-old.
My friend(F) got his first mobile. First featured mobile.
Maximum smartness in that mobile was a snake game and Bluetooth.
So I decided to prank him.
M: Bro do you know this particular model need a network to use Bluetooth?
F: I am not stupid to believe you.
M: I can prove that.
F: K prove me, I will give you treat.
M: ok, turn on your Bluetooth paired it with my Bluetooth.
F: Ok
*start sending him the movie. We were on the train, a train was about to enter the tunnel*
M: When the train will enter a tunnel, We will lose network and sending will fail.
F: ok let's see.
*when a train enters in a tunnel, we shift light to black in meantime for 3-4 sec our eyes feel blindness. so I closed eyes before entering a tunnel and once train enter in the tunnel immediately restart Bluetooth *
M: look sending failed
F: Seriously man, I didn't know that.
M: It's ok bro next time inform me before buying any electronics.
F: sure
M: my treat?
F: Yup
*for next few days, he was thinking that Bluetooth need a network to send files until whole group laugh on him*4 -
!RANT
my friend who never smoke or drink or relationship to much career oriended.working in multinational company. recently south african petrol company gave offer letter to him.
he was ill from few days.(completed his engineering in civil with 9.1 pointer last year.)
somekind of syndrome found in him. due to which he will not able to walk in 2 years.
he share this information with me. asking me tips,"how to inform my mom dad? I don't wan to face them. I can't do anything for them."
life is fucking unfair with some peoples.1 -
#heavyrant
AGAIN !!! MICROSOFT (MAY GOD SEND THEM TO HELL) GAVE A DEADLY BLOW TO SOMETHING I USED TO LOVE !!
This new UI update is just aweful, i mean, i love github, i work using github, i do so many things with it, or should i say that i used to ....
This update seems so un-natural, it just doesn't fit.
Why would the collabs be shown so obviously ??
Why would the main window be so narrow while the rest is widescreen ????
My eyes get tired so quickly when i use it now.
It used to be something nice, easy to use, but now it is more like a social media than a professional coding tool.
I HATE YOU MISCROSOT WHAT EVER YOU TOUCH TURNS TO BE A SHIT HOLE25 -
People talk about how they would love to switch to Linux, but cannot, as they claim that gaming lives on Windows. This may have been the case ten years ago but it isn't now.
And further, Microsoft is working hard to break steam, humble, gog, and any other delivery systems they do not control. Such anti-consumer behavior should not be tolerated, let alone rewarded. One result of this is that almost every indie game that comes out now has native Linux support within months, if not on day 1.
The only weak spot is AAA games. But as AAA games and mobile games begin to converge, in terms of the subscription/microtransaction models they're both moving toward, with very few exceptions, I personally don't think I'm really missing anything when I see a Windows-only game for $60 with no Linux support.
And if I really want, I can play un-wine-able Windows games through parsec, though that's getting rarer and rarer all the time.11 -
Sometimes it's irritating
Workstation in office : windows/Mac
Home : Ubuntu
Virtual machine : fedora
Developing : LFS (just for hobby)
😂😂😂
Still searching for arch and BSD 😂😂7 -
Gah gets me every time I open an image I want to share with friends on messages later.
Share dialog ain't cutting it.
1 -
Best Hardware support team.
I hope every one of you got such team.
My keyboard was not working properly.
programmer's most used special character ; is auto typing anywhere that is obviously keyboard issue so I called H/W support team.
me: *explained above problem.*
supporter : Ya we know that issue ,YOUR HARD DRIVE IS CORRUPTED. We have 2 option
1) either we can formate your system.
2) We have to change hard drive.
Me thinking : *devrant stuff found*
Me: that is really sad part. How many time you solved such problem?
S: This is my first time in this company ,previously I solved such issue more than 10 time.
Me: you really look smart.
S: thank you,any how I will resolved this issue today.
Me: today I am going earlier but yes we will meet on monday. thank you for quick response.7 -
Worst part about being a visual designer?
Looking at anything that's a pixel too much to left/right/top/bottom and not being able to UN-see it6 -
I know we havent gave you any specification, documentation and not a single design but when do you think this will be done?
- Every fucking PM un the world -
Me : "I need to stop geeking out about security because I have exams and need to write a report"
Me 2 hours later : "Ooooo.. what's this cool article about?Let's check it out 😎"2 -
In my ongoing quest to un-Google my life, I turned off the Whatsapp chat back up, which uses Google Drive. There's a message in that setting which says, "Media and messages you back up are not protected by Whatsapp end-to-end encryption while in Google drive".
Damn.
All my Whatsapp chats for years have been on Google servers in plaintext.
I assumed it uploaded one massive encrypted archive.13 -
Hey React, why won't you die?
Seriously, you are cumbersome to use, heavy as shit, awful syntax and do only the most basic reactive operations possible.
Why do you have to re-render un-changed components?
You were good when you came out, but please, get the fuck out of job requirements everywhere.17 -
I tried this on tinder. She was confused and proceeded to un-match me. A !false statement would be to say that I’ve failed at life. 😉
5 -
Now Kim Jong Un as returned. And all those meme that were circulating last week. I think this anime needs to be made.
We have the artwork. We have the story. Japan your call.
1 -
FUCK IOS PUSH NOTIFICATION THAT IS SO FUCKING UN-FUCKING-RELIA-FUCKING-BLE. YOU MAKE ME CRI AT WORK!5
-
If my Kickstarter campaign get approved an its succeed finally I can afford to hire some of you guys :)
I made it possible to check the un-inspected pre-beta holdings here:
http://micro-kingdoms.com/displayho...
There are 28053 of them. I have to say that It's going well considering that no one wants to join me in development... it makes me a bit sad...
8 -
So my country's president just decided that Turkey is too cool to set clocks back for an hour and it fucked all of my device's times up. And I'm not even sure how to convert time zones anymore.. And some devices (un) update time back to summer time so logs and notifications go crazy.
This is just a stupid idea that doesn't make the single bit of sense, are they that unoccupied to change time on their whim ?! You are the government first find a fucking proper solution for all the immigrants from neighboring countries and our unbalanced ass economy.. I'm so fucking pissed this isn't the first time our president plays with the country like this.
Uugh I just want to renounce my citizenship and reside somewhere else that isn't as fucked up as Turkey.. I'm sorry my ancestors that shed blood for this country. It's crumbling because of ignorant masses that follow a dictator blindly.1 -
Those of you who like "The Imitation Game", you probably want to check out "Hidden Figures" (2016). It's on Netflix now.
About a team of female African-American mathematicians who wanted to "break the glass ceiling" in NASA.
- Dorothy : conquered the (recently acquired) IBM frameworks using Fortran and taught her team to program it
- Mary : appealed to court to be allowed to study in a all-white school to get her qualification to be an aerospace engineer
- Katherine : her skills in analytical geometry enabled her to be the first female African-American in the Space Task Group in calculating the momentous capsule launch into orbit
My lazy ass just can't fathom how someone who deals with so much math and pressure can still smile to their family after work. My grumpiness nature will surely turn me into a monster.
And now I know what "human computers" means.5 -
Please and please, if you cannot take the time out to create new classes do not copy and paste another without editing it properly! I noticed you do a find and replace and then leave 50% of variable names un-edited because all errors are gone. I am begging you in the name of Zeus edit your shit!
Here is one dick head:
1 -
My last company had a code base originating in the 90's and they still write most parts of the GUI with a library that is a thin layer on top of Win32 API, with a self-rolled "ORM" for DB access (with LOTS of enums) and all that with >2million lines of C++ code. The code includes at least two implementations of std vector and std:list. One of which is even *named* std::vector. Feels good remembering that I have left that behind2
-
Need suggestion:
I gave interview in small company. They give me task to complete one project then we will give you job.
It takes me 2 weeks.
Now they are ready to give me job but they want that project in free of cost. What should I do?7 -
Every day skynet withers closer to existence.
"
The lethal autonomous weapons systems were programmed to attack targets without requiring data connectivity between the operator and the munition: in effect, a true ‘fire, forget and find’ capability.
"
https://businessinsider.com/killer-...
15 -
So to un install Premie Pro I first need to sign in to my Adobe account, to then fucking update Creative Cloud, and then, then I can remove the garbage. Or so I hope ffs...2
-
For those of us that watch Silicon Valley [un]ironically, they actually made a generic ICO website 😂
http://piedpiper.com1 -
what are your fav songs while coding?
mine:
old bollywood (black and white) songs and instrumental music mostly hariprasad chaurasia's flute.13 -
OK people, I don't need a novel written for every line of code, but PLEASE STOP trying to tell me that "yOuR coDe sHouLd bE sELf dOcUmeNtiNg aNd cOmMenTs mEaN iT's aUtoMaTiCaLLy bAd". That's a bunch of BS. I can't begin to tell you how many times I've saved my own butt by dropping a "this call can't be awaited; causes the library's internal API to throw an error" comment in my C#, or a "can't use double quotes here; doesn't work right for some reason" line in my JavaScript. Sometimes there are very good but un-obvious reasons why something was done a certain way, even though it looks like it could be done better. And don't try to tell me "the tests will catch it". Let's be realistic here, nobody has 100% test coverage on any project that's much more than "Hello World". And even if the tests DID catch it, why waste the time when you could just write a comment?
P.S.: This is not directed at anyone on here specifically. It's directed at all the devs I've met IRL and the comments I've seen on SO, who think that comments must be bad.12 -
Well. Fuck.
A sunny monday morning. The sun almost glimpsing over the horizon. I'm on my way to the office, taking a breath of fresh cool air. It is infused by the scent of sweet pastries.
I reach the office, but something is different. Why is the door slightly opened? Carefully I grab the door handle. I do my first step past the doorframe and wooosch. Thick and sticky stuff is running done my spine, finding it's way through my clothes. I feel so un-fucking-believably dirty in this very moment.
This should give you an impression how I felt when I had to change a DNS record in this completely broken setup for just a matter of seconds until the letsencrypt client renewed the certificate.
I'm feeling seriously dirty.1 -
The whole dev community.
Those who have dedicated time and energy to share solutions, tricks, bug-solving ideas, codes that I can steal; teach me patiently even though I am slow, cheer me up when I am down because I'm stuck debugging for hours, brighten me up with programming jokes when I am sad.
Those who have allowed me to earn good money in the field that I really enjoy.
Yeah, including you 😘 -
Reading JS written by “creative” types:
var myArray = []; //un-sorted values
var SortedArray = myArray.sort();
OrderedHtmlElement.innerText = myArray[0];
Look here if you are going to do it wrong at least commit to the wrongdoing!!!6 -
So I decided to start using NoScript in Firefox recently, and it's been the most wonderful and annoying experience.
Wonderful - Easy to use whitelist on a domain basis makes it easy to un-break websites I trust while keeping potential malicious JS from other domains out.'
Annoying - Now I get why all the graybeards on Hacker News hate what the modern web has become6 -
My boss creates so many wtf moments with his total tech "un-savyness", although he is the " lead" dev, that I'm getting worried that I might be doing the biggest wtf faces every time ... I can't pretend like nothing is happening anymore .... Fuck!
-
Sort of off topic but why can't you un-press buttons in elevators?
Seems like a no brain feature to me14 -
Intend to help a friend to find out what's wrong with a software installation in his laptop today...
But forgot that his Windows installed in Chinese version... how am I supposed to help.... (; _ ;)
I can't read Chinese... can't even find how to open Control Panel...
_________________________________
My native language is not English, but I always have all my techies set up in English.6 -
Whatsapp REALLY needs a feature to silence the notifications for messages that are image only!
I'm now stuck having to communicate with a group for work so I had to un-silence it's notifications but I get sent 100+ memes and videos a day by EVERYONE else.
As much as I love them if I have to stop coding to check my phone only to find a fucking meme one more time I think I'm gonna snap...3 -
Fuck MySQL Workbench!
I have spent 2 fucking days diagramming a 350 table database 3 times over because if it doesn't crash and ignore your saves it corrupts its own data and drops the hours of formatting you've done! Now I'm trying to print an ugly un-formatted piece of sh*t because I need to get on a flight to the meeting I need to present this at and it ignores all my default printer settings and wastes 40 A3 sheets of paper. Does Oracle even use the shit they are releasing? For the love of god if you can't maintain it for free fix your fucking bugs and I will buy a license but I cant keep working like this.6 -
Excuse me, can you please tell me which ass-to-mouth fucking moron had this oh-so-damn-stupid idea to take something so un-fucking-believable nice and simple, swallow it entirely just to create that most-ugly stinking pile of darkest shit I've every seen in my live.
Bluetooth.
After paired, it actually never works at first try to connect from notebook or pc, windows or linux. It's just a big annoying pile of utter garbage. FUCK.2 -
most productive workflow I ever seen.
excel 1 : stock
excel 2 : order
compare stock with order manually 1000+ product.
excel 3 : check history of order generator (shop)
excel 4 : today's price of product + tax
excel 5 : alot specific unit's of product
excel 6 : maintained bill credit/debit
next step : forword to managers for approval
excel 7 : edit's from nanager
process repeat till managers approval
excel 8 : dispatched history
excel 9 : return product (reason's/unit)
excel 10 : stock update return + new product's
and few more excel's
data of 5+ year's
daily 500+ order's
lPO listed company
i have not mentioned account and other stuff
(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻2 -
May be it is small thing to many people's but as a less experience Developer it is big thing for me.
I AM GOING TO LEAD PROJECT.😊
Ohk project is not so big..3 -
Friends/Seniors : "Hey, you should take these courses. They are easy and you can get easily an A!"
Who the fuck decide what optional courses to take based on if it's easy or not?!
Students take them because :
a. They are interested in the subjects
b. Knowledge/skills after attending the courses will be beneficial for future career.
I put my money more on option b though, i.e I'd rather get C's in courses that I found it useful, than getting A's in useless courses.
(Btw, my avg grade is just a little above Cs)
If my sole purpose was just to get straight A's, I would enroll in liberal art courses instead of this stressing half-CS course we're in.
You're a joke to yourself, that's why I don't hang out with you.3 -
I work on many projects at work. There's divisions of teams and each team typically has one project. Each one of those projects have weekly Sprint meetings.
That's great! For the team. That means each team has one meeting a week so it's not too disruptive for those individuals.
Me on the other hand? I've got my hand in all the buckets. I'm on every team. I'm the only person on every team. This means I get to go to every meeting.
Let me rephrase that:
This means I -have- to go to every. Single. Meeting.
Which means I have a meeting every. Single. Day. Even if I didn't touch that project that week.
It is literally THE biggest waste of time. I sit there in a 1-2 hour long meeting saying absolutely nothing, not even being spoken to. I could be working on other projects.
And these meetings normally interrupt something I'm working on. Conveniently in the middle of me being in my zone. It makes me completely un-motivated to work for the hour before the meeting because why bother if I'm just going to get interrupted? And then it takes an hour to get back into everything after the meeting because everyone is fooling around or complaining about the meeting.
So that's three hours of my 8 hour work day completely wasted.3 -
"It's very unfortunate that someone has to sit 10 hours a day on a computer screen but that's what we are paying for."
Working with an EU client.
Task is in stages beginning from assessment of an 9 year old Salesforce instance, cleanup and then transition to lightning.
The deliverabale in the first stage is excel sheet - objects(2400+), fields, apps, packages, profiles(110k), users, perm sets, apex classes, triggers, pages, s-controls and insert each and everything that a Salesforce instance could have.
Each and every data needs to be, analyzed and documented with our recommendations before being sent over. (Finding duplicates in 110k profiles??)
Oh, did I tell you, this was to be done four weeks? Weekend goes to hell.
That's when this beautiful motivational line comes up from the bridge, "It's very unfortunate that someone has to sit 10 hours a day on a computer screen but that's what we are paying for."
Fortunately(un?), that part of project is done and over with.
Now comes the clean up, identify packages not being used, remove them, qa and then push for deployment.
Mind you, this project is to be 2 weeks long. Its Friday of the first week today. And I am still working weekends.
Can I say, FML?5 -
Great... None of my coworkers know about this tiny bit of undocumented code, and the guy who wrote it, I replaced ... Fucks sake ... Next weeks gonna be hellish2
-
A software is as good as its documentation... a crap documentation makes it un usable... how so ever good your software is...
-
The reason why I like to code alone in the dark is so that people cannot see my dumb mistakes such as 'forgetting to hit run after compile and wasting 10 min wondering why my code didn't show on the console'.
: /1 -
Boss just told me that he thought him making changing directly on production was "OK", because it always seemed to automatically update the other environments when his changes appeared "magically" a week later.
Yeah, because the frequent deployments I do and then come across your un-approved changes which I'm constantly flagging up has nothing to do with it!!
*facepalm* -
Spent 3 weeks working on an issue (raised by dev A) by following the suggested solution stated in the issue.
Pushed a PR and got told by dev B that it's not the correct solution.
Dude, I am just an intern here and following whatever they told me to do. If you have a problem with the solution, please discuss it with dev A.
Now I may have to let go of the issue completely because it turns out to be much more complicated, not for someone with intern level skill.
FML, I guess this won't be the last time I had this right?7 -
Is it bad that I put on tshirts and have un-kept hair even at client briefs?, I am not the lead developer3
-
friend : bro which phone may I buy?
me : mi / honor
next day
f : bro are you sure?
m : yup pretty sure ,in your budget this 2 are best phone
after 3-4 day
*call*
f : bro I buy phone.
m : congo , which pne ?
f : oppo f9
o(╥﹏╥)o5 -
I fucking hate Google, but made the decision to use it as my primary search engine once again.
Reality dictates that I have already adopted it for well over a decade via searches since AllTheWeb existed along with owning enough Android devices to choke a twelve headed dragon whore.
But, here's the main reason: You.com and DuckDuckGo are so dumb as fuck, they might as well be Ron Jeremy's MySpace page.
You.com, for instance, is "completely customizable" by adding un-customizable "apps" without any control over the content it spews into your SERPS.
Neither seems to have interest in no longer padding results with shit you'd take a knife to. At least Google allows me to block those pages or sites from being seen again.
If you happen to live on Planet Earth (which currently seems to exclude 86.8% of the human population) you've been tracked before you even knew what "Big Brother" meant.
If you're looking to safeguard your security, buy a goddamn sword and time travel to remove the Zuckerberg timeline from existence.22 -
*Sitting in sql course*
Professor: "So today we are talking about normalization which will make our tables much more efficient and easier to understand."
Me: (In my head) "Sounds useful!"
Professor: "First we will start with UNF or un-normalized form"
*Professor shows example on projector*
Example:
"UNF: Student ( name, sAge, , college_name {COURSEID, cname. descCourse C# }]"
*Frustration begins to take hold as I play where's waldo*1 -
I'm getting caught up on my personal project because I need to generate a lot of Dynamic HTML using JS and it's just a pain. I hate adding dependencies to a project, especially personal projects with no deadlines, so tomorrow I will be writing a vanilla templating system, and hopefully that will un-funk me.3
-
trying to login fb
username : ...........
pass : ...................
without thinking just type that pass
error changed pass 2 year back
again try to remember same password
:(
unable to remember1 -
I hate that the general consensus to the solution of “themes” has been exclusively dark/ light.
Not only does this make it future un-proof in case “light blue” becomes a common style choice, but it already fucks up TODAY when considering high contrast themes!
Who made this shaky system the agreed standard!?8 -
I'm totally confident until you decide gleam over my shoulder, breathing down my neck, staring at my computer making un-helpful comments.
-
5am now and trying to do a production deployment. It just failed because boss loves making un-approved changes to prod that change entire database schemas. Argh!!
-
So glad i moved from a desktop PC to a laptop for development. I still have 2 workstations (one at home and one at work) with 3 screens, mechanical keyboard + mouse. But if i ever have to demo to a client/PM i just un-dock and take my laptop to them. Plus if the office is loud i just go to another room.1
-
So, I'm looking into something and end up on Stack Overflow. Someone posted the question:
"Does minified javascript improve performance?"
This question was old as shit, all they way from 07/25/09, and about an Adobe Air application. (Remember that? Me neither...) It had a great, accepted, and still accurate answer, posted the same day the question was asked. Now, fast forward 8 years and on 12/08/17 (A mere 7 months ago...) the following answer was posted. I don't know what they were thinking, but here it is, complete and unabridged, with my comments in square brackets:
"I'd like to post this as a separate answer as it somewhat contrasts the accepted one: [Somewhat contrasts? More like completely contradicts...]
Yes, it does make a performance difference as it reduces parsing time - and that's often the critical thing. For me, it was even just simply linear in the size and I could get it from 12s to 4s parse time by minifying from 3MB to 1MB. [First off, your parse time should NEVER be THE critical thing, but secondly, and more importantly, WHO THE FUCK HAS 1MB OF MINIFIED JS ON A PAGE!!!]
It's not a big app either, it just has a couple of reasonable dependencies. [THERE IS ABSOFUCKINGLUTELY NOTHING REASONABLE ABOUT ANYTHING HE JUST SAID! What dependancies is he using?! You could use minified and not even gzipped jQuery, AngularJS, Vue, Ember, React, AND Dojo libraries on the SAME PAGE, AND have 118k of application code, AND STILL NOT HAVE HIT 1MB QUITE YET!!!]
So the moral of the story here is: Yes, minifying is important for performance - and not because of bandwidth, but because of parsing. [Javascript should NEVER take longer to parse then to download, even on a low powered device...]"
So, yeah, I'm at a loss for what this guy was thinking, but the thought the people like this exist, and that my browser might one day be subjected to their horrific nightmare of code terrifies me...2 -
Trying to un-fuck a botched rebase of a months worth of work. It took me a couple days, but it forced me to learn a lot about git's best practises and gotchas. It also taught me not to keep a months worth of work on a single branch!4
-
So, apparently, in 2015 our webhost (ixwebhosting) was purchased by Site5... This week, they finally migrated us to Site5 servers without warning, taking my email down in the process...
Today, after following the instructions in their own KB article (that tells you to click an icon that doesn't exist,) and chatting with support for over an hour, I was told that the new system they migrated us to doesn't support catch-all email accounts... At all... It's simply not possible to receive an email that was sent to your domain, unless the email address exists in the system somewhere... Despite the fact that it's a standard cPanel feature, that the old and new systems both use cPanel, that every other webhost I have ever seen that uses cPanel has this feature available, AND the fact that this is an important feature for a lot of websites, because they pipe all of their emails to a script for processing... It's simply not possible... They won't be providing that feature anymore. Nor for that matter is it possible to be migrated back...
They migrated accounts to a system that has a basic email function intentionally disabled, without warning... And we can't afford to open an account with someone else ATM... So I can't get any email until we get migrated... FML9 -
About to learn the world of Linux with my raspberry pi. Seems like I have ridden fail2ban into an un-removable nor fixable state. Fml 🙈3
-
In several occasions I run rm -rf * in the wrong folder (or wrong server!!).
No big deal so far, but I had to spent more time to redo my work since Linux has no fucking recycle bin like Win!
So I created this helper function to give my brain a few seconds to think before my finger hit Enter.
delete_all_files()
{
echo "WARNING:Delete all files? Type fluffycat to proceed"
read x
if [ "$x" = "fluffycat" ]
then
echo "Deleting all files..."
rm -rf *
fi
}
alias myrm=delete_all_files
Hehehe... I am a genius 😎18 -
My job in company to developed e-commerce website as a full stack developer.
History of that project.
Company paid 300,000 INR to the local web development firm for developing previous website and they developed website without bootstrap/SSL/Even save information of high profile client in plain text.
I am not angry on that web firm ,I am laughing on my company because such client never trust on independent developers who work hard ,code day and night to complete freelancing projects.
I hope my work will make differnce in their selling. -
How greedy can you get?
> boss takes half assed gdpr project : branch xyz
> branch xyz requires deprecated version of npm/node
> I re-install node this time with deprecated version
> Wow this node is configured with ant build
> ECMA 5, config but code is shit as fuck
> still I get the job done , cannot test it because code is shit as fuck and I will never any thing to fix that un healthy code
> code doesn't run on client side,
> no shit Sherlock
> get a call from boss, it urget look in it and fix it -
Hey, just joining devrant and find it so much funnier than
https://reddit.com/r/...
Reddit is a funny site but I find it more and more boring..1 -
Day #1: You start working on something new, you feel stupid because you don't know anything.
Day #2: You learned the basic concepts. Start feeling so well.
Day #3-9...: Start feeling like you know everything.
Day #?: You start something new, you feel like the last piece of shit un the world.
Repeat -
!rant
hey dev's,
I need help for choosing laptop.
I will need it for deep learning.
DELL G7 7588
config:
pro : i9-8950HK
gpu : GTX 1060
ram : 16 gb ddr4
ssd : 512
hdd : 1TB
your reviews please42 -
Unable to access cpanel/whm due to IP changed error.
called HR
me : please connect me to networking team (out sourced)
hr : why ?
me : I have some issue to access cpanel. I contacted to hosting comapny but it is not their fault so may be it's our network issue.
hr : explain me in details.
me : ok
from morning I am trying to access whm because our website is out of bandwidth limit and showing 509 error ,I contacted to hosting comapny but they explained me problem from our side. SO i wanted to talk with network team about this issue because I am not using any proxy or vpn even my tor browser is off too still ip chaged error giving frustation. second reason I am frusted that my public IP and private IP is not chaged.
one more your windows pc freeze 3 times from morning.
do you need in detailed technical reason why I want to talk with them.
hr : no no no *hang up*
after 2 minute *my landline ring*
hr : network engineer on other side.
fair enough2 -
It depends, really. Sometimes it's a spontaneous urge, sometimes it's me drinking and coding whilst doing so.
Sometimes it's a lot of coffee as mentioned in another post commenting on this week's topic.
Regarding the drinking: for some reason my code works and I write more in less time.
Un-fucking-believeable.2 -
Typo Checker: "unsubmitted" is not a word
Me: Really?
Me: Opens google...
Me: Starts typing... UN... SUB..
Google: Unsubmitted is not a word!
Me: (☉_☉)3 -
I thought it would be a good idea to name my dev blog after a common runtime exception. I started looking up un claimed domain names. I guess stackoverflow.com is taken. Next idea... indexOutOfBounds...?12
-
Tl;Dr: Client has no idea how much development costs
(Un)potential client has been asking to develop an AV solution for Android phones to sell on the play store. Problem is I know they're cheap fucks and won't pay for a proper development cycle. Just for an exercise I put together the minimum cost they are looking at if they cut back on a lot of things and purchase lots of things off the shelf and gave them a bare minimum cost of £4350. Which is utterly fucking ridiculous to think you could develop something even half decent for that. I mean we all know that AV is a bit of a joke for any serious threat, it just protects from the billions of pests in cyberspace, but I mean come on.
Anyway, they are freaking out because apparently that's a lot. Out of interest, what would be your ballpark figures for this.9 -
Reason to hate my D grade engineering college.
1st lecture of web development.
(Syllabus html,css,PHP)
Expectation : at least teacher will introduce fucking web development technologies.
Reality:
Teacher=> look I don't know anything about PHP so learn from web. I will give you internal marks just submit assignment on time.
😅
Btw it is not story.3 -
one more time, I proud of my team and MD too.
XYZ is our office boy. He completed his BSc IT from 3rd Grade college due to family condition and lack of knowledge, he has to work as an office boy.
So my team decided to teach him web development. We are starting it from very basic. We get total 1:30 hours of a lunch+snack's break so each one of us will give 1-day to teach him but It is not free. We will need good coffee in this deal. Our MD like this idea and promised us that once we gave him a green signal. He can do his first internship here. -
When I say I'm a developer, it means that, in simpleton language, that I don't do your backups, I don't "repair" you PC because you're a baffon and I certainly do not edit company's logo which is in .png format deliver it in .cdr file and expect it as, as good and perfect as original, So fuck you, you impatient , imbecile , pompous prick I've ever met
> "Yeah take as much time as you want, but do it quickly"
I mean what the fuck does that even mean, if you want it done quickly then say so, be a man and face it and don't hide behind the excuse of "take as much time as you want"
Fucking idiots, little do they know when I'm in the zone I need time to think before act so I don't get blamed for "un-satisfied" product in the future.
So I've decided to leave loopholes in the current project I've been working on, deliver it, and leave the company and make their lives living hell, I know this is beneath anyone's standards but I have to do this to teach them how to treat a person properly,FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK,
This is going to be fun9 -
Little story.
Manager give me task, Send mail through mail chimp to many groups and schedulled them differntly.
Day1 : it litterly waste my half hour.
Night 1 :create script using Selenium (utilize my 2 hours because It was new for me.)
Day 2 : I am devrant. (script is doing my task)
Manager is also happy that I am doing extra work. -
Friend : Have you take a look at this part? We will discuss it this Friday.
What I want to say :
"Don't underestimate my ability to procrastinate, sleep on my problem, run away from my responsibilities, and don't give a sh*t about everything."
What I actually said:
"Of course but I will look at it again thoroughly."
_______________________
Maybe my frustration and depression are not showing enough on my face.
: /1 -
My boss is in a meeting (davanti a un caffè) with someone who is "a technophile" and "really knows about AI". He was amazed some months ago by the images they were generating using their paid service (right after that, I showed him Bing AI and the conversation ended).
We have discussed using AI previously, and we have been developing web apps for 5 years now.
These are the messages I've been receiving through the last hour and a half and haven't read; I guess it's information he considers will be important when we meet later:
- LLM modelo de lenguaje
- Large language model
- Chat gpt 4O
- API
- Aplication programe interface
This are all things I've mentioned either within the past months, or ieri *itself*, as he mentioned he was meeting this guy.
I'll keep you posted on new messages.
I wonder if that guy says he's a "prompt engineer"...5 -
I feel lucky to be a developer.
yes just keep frustrating hours of debugging and other boring stuff aside for a moment.
I love to solved physical problem with digital solutions, I worked as a full stack developer in company using same skills to earn money by doing freelancing.
while my other non techie friends are crying for extra income, I earn enough in freelancing to pay my rent and other stuff
😍😍😍😍2 -
Strangermeet up conversation
Stranger: m22
Me: just sleep bro ,u can't get girl here.
Stranger : can't sleep R8 now, reading quantum computing book.
Me : interesting
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Yes we are now friends (#~#) -
Searching new laptop / system on current laptop / system can hurt feelings of it.
It's same as asking gf which is better girl than you 😂😂😂😂2 -
It's bad enough that Facebook videos in my country have ads but some cunt actually had the genius idea to make the tagline for their ad "Un-skippable quality"
Not sure I can even be mad at how trolly that is 😭😂3 -
I overheard this mid level dev discussing a new task with a senior dev. They're discussing compile error in cmake. I realized that the mid level dev asked so many basic stuff that are easily google-able. Mind you, our codebase is cmake based, how come she didn't know even the basics and yet survive in our company for years?
I felt bad for the senior dev, as I knew he's busy with his work. He couldn't do his job because he had to do hand-holding with this dev.
My biggest mistake is often trying to solve things by myself which will take hours instead of just asking a senior. But asking other dev for every little things are also annoying. Why can't you just google shit up or RTFM?1 -
🎼Cu-cum-ber docs led me to beliiiiiiiiiiiieve
The exit flag was un-nec-e-ssaryyy
Thought I’d make a new branch
Remove it in CI
Let it run in Jenkins
That’s the reason for the never-ending teeeeest ruuuun 🎶
^to the tune of Neverending Story6 -
An project I was working on was required to always identify users who took part in certain transactions (think of financial processing regulations).
Because some of the contacts on your phone might only contain a mobile phone number (and no name) a mandatory 'recipient' field was thus created to be filled for each transaction. This name was then checked against some international UN sanctions blacklists (you know, so Bin Ladens cousin can't use the thing...).
Only thing was... you could simply enter whatever name you wanted to. Like '%#^@/}(#' or 'John Doe', or 'Micky Mouse'... Everyone was well aware of this - but because ITS' THEM RULES we had to do it anyway.
Hope Bin Ladens cousin doesn't figure it out. :P -
Asked prof for LORs for grad school application. Once he submitted 6 lors, I sent him a chart in email stating what schools are done, what are pending. STUPID MOTHERFUCKER refused to give me any more LORs because he suddenly thinks I've become un-recommendable due to sending him an email. These EGOISTIC BASTARDs will die of hunger if they are to survive in the industry. They are surviving on govt money, MY TAX MONEY, but still refuse to give LORs for absolutely stupid reasons. Does someone know a hitman ? I want to kill this PIECE OF SHIT.7
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Porca puttanata, non funziona un cazzo.
Fuck this api is so strange sometimes.
Ich hab die Schnauze voll, aber die Scheiße will nicht rendern wie ich es will. -
While the topic is a bit divisive, the statistical technique highlighted in this post is really cool:
https://wattsupwiththat.com/2022/...2 -
woman(package) definition by Emacs:
-"browse UN*X manual pages `wo (without) man' "
-"woman is a built-in package."
Emacs, pls... :D1 -
Radeon gives notification about update. Update shows 2 major updates. Downloading update. Installer of update says its already up-to-date. What the fuck AMD and Intel?
Ps: How come that Windows still having issues with docking stations and different resolutions when (un)plugging?1 -
Ecuador finally expelled Assange. Time for the UN-United Queendom to ship him to Uncle Sam for debugging60
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Me : .. but sir without sass/js compiled, how can we address the issue?
Boss : that is not an issue, issue is with on approach we have taken?
You sick fuck, you take other developers un-finished work, expect me to finish it (which it did) and when the other developer is not smart enough to copy paste the solution, you give an "update" to me, I mean how the fuck, what ever..
I really really put efforts to make this shit happen, I know very little about your commerce cloud shit, but when you question my logic on basis of someone who will pay you to finish her work, it is very unethical and hard to swallow it down.
Maybe this is my first real job, that is why this is so hard, but I gotta do what I gotta do -
!rant && type=="idea"
So lately I've been seeing a lot more posts about Devranters organising meetups, having some drinks together and loads of fun like that, absolutely amazing!
What I think is sad is that a day or two after those meetups, I see comments passing by saying "I wish I knew about this earlier" and "Oh man, would've loved to come if I knew!"
Perhaps it's an idea to make a subsection for (un)official devrant meetups/events on devrant so everyone who's interested in meeting fellow ranters can find these posts in one location, or maybe even a calendar with these meetups/events
How do you guys and galls feel about this?1 -
20 fucking seconds for a fucking un-muttable ad.
What if I was trying to slyly watch porn while my brother is half asleep three feet away from me, huh? Fuckin shopping music blaring out my screen.
Holy fuck.
2 -
2 min silence for my friend.
who got contract to edit and make golden frame of "naga baba"
he have to zoom each and every part of naga baba to clear and make render image.
xD XD16 -
just realize, I have not talked face to face with anybody in a whole day
(little conversation on phone and chat)
total of 8 peoples in my office room including me and 30 + in the whole office.
that means either every device working properly in office or it's my luckiest day.4 -
jr.: which os may I used for our syllabus?
me: look every OS has it's own pron and cons .
jr : ohh. still tell me.
me: but linux is superior among them. use ubuntu.4 -
Ah, I have so many memories.
I was lab instructor at the local institute(it was more like tuition) where I had to train students for programming (C, C++, Core Java).
And my debugging skills got enhanced too, It was like I had to just look at the program and I could tell all the errors, it happens to everybody I think because our brain just find patterns un-consciously and it later becomes like one superpower.
No doubt there were a lot of bright students even brighter than me. Actually, that was my starting point where I broke out of my shell and started playing with coding a lot.1 -
Hey Devranter's from mumbai
Why not we meet somewhere in Mumbai?
Please tag other ranter's in comment Who are from Mumbai.
@Floydian16 -
Frontend shananigans continue:
Spent all morning un-ejecting my CRA react app and migrating sass to less... Seriously how is this productive?? -
I don't know how to feel right now, I finally start a new dev job tomorrow, which I'm pretty excited about. In the other hand my bike just got stolen while I was visiting some friends at my old school.
As I would say in french Canadian:
JE TE SOUHAITE DE TE FAITE RENTRÉE DEDANS PAR UN CRISS DE GROS TRUCK EN CONDUISANT MON VÉLO MON ESTI D'ENFANT DE CHIENNE DR CÂLISSE2 -
Un Fucking Believable
The Smell of Shite floating around my office is crazy,
Suppose the smell compliments the state of this Stupid Fucking Place,
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Estoy tratando de construir un sistema que pueda traducir entre una lengua Maya y el español, diccionarios disponibles están en formatos totalmente ilegibles y me encuentro con la dificultad de separar los dos idiomas en forma automática15
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I used mint, Ubuntu,Kali but now I want to change my Linux flavour.
My work is mostly on backend development (PHP, MySQL).
Which one may I try next?
(All previous Linux are f9 for me I just want to use new distro)3 -
When you can only run in reasonable times in release only but still need to understand where it crashes
(FYI premere un tasto per continuare is the italian for press any button to continue...)
-
Snapchat is now showing ads mixed in with, and at the top of the list of, your contacts. That’s in addition to the un-removable “Team Snapchat” contact, and a ChatGPT-2 model “My AI” that is permanently fixed to the top of your contacts list and once told me that some completely random politician, who was not even in the race at any point, won the 2024 general election.
Snapchat, I realize your business model was never designed to be profitable but FUCK you for dying in such an annoying way.4 -
OMG I want to throw my monitor out of my window right now!
Someone just went through my entire project and un-cuddled all of my braces, AND THEN STARTED ALL MY FUCKING VARIABLE NAMES WITH AN UNDERSCORE!!! Are you kidding me??? People actually do that??? That's literally worse than php's brilliant idea of starting every variable name with a dollar sign!
I can't even read my own code anymore...2 -
I recently un-boxed a pixel 2, though great on the specs side, I wouldn't buy it because of the looks and weight,
It just doesn't feel great in the hand, I mean if am spending that much, I should feel am holding a premium device at hand, but It feels like a dummy,
Camera might be great, but the bezel was too big -
Hello devrant,
Need guidance about QR code based coupon system.
In my restaurant I sale few food items. My 50+ customer bought food daily (on delivery). They are asking me for coupon system like I sale one sandwich for half 30 INR , they bought 3-4 per day.
So they can buy coupon of 100 sandwich on every delivery my delivery boy will scan QR code of customer and their sandwich count will decrease accordingly.
This will apply for every food item.
Can you suggest me current software for this.1 -
!Rant
When the video / audio support un devrant ? I would like share with you my amazing noisy workplace :) but this is hard to feel that with a gif only -
can you share some interesting and useful topics for a web developer(PHP), who want to become nodejs based full stack developer?
udemy courses link will be useful.2 -
Anyone work with a dev "higher" up than you, but that "senior" dev really doesn't understand how to write good code? That dev also doesn't understand how to remove old un-used code and basically follows every anti-pattern in the book -- bad variable naming, using switch statements when an if would be more logical, etc. I don't know how these people reached the height of the totem pole that they are on, but my goodness is it frustrating. How can someone SO OBLIVIOUS have so much power?! And everywhere they go they leave a wake of destruction that undoubtedly will need to be cleaned up by someone else later down the time... It's like they don't care at all but deep down you know they are just bad at their job... UGH!
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Thought this algorithm keenly, it's like the best way I could or it could ever be done (in my head)...
there is no way this is going to fail
Then it fails terribly 😡😡
These are the times you feel like changing your career then un-installing devRant -
Pgadmin4 error: could not connect to server
Tried to delete data from pgadmin folder but didn't worked for me2 -
Electronjs "framework to developed cross platform desktop application but not able to install in Ubuntu😢"6
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Hey devrant buddies,
I wanna learn AR development,
I am react developer,
May I go with viroAR or suggest something from your side4 -
For those who are on my team, arguing on not putting comments in their code:
How much ever (un)readable your code is, any peer / reviewer / future team member can only understand what that code snippet is doing, but not why was it written in the first place or what the hell you were thinking while writing that logic. So, it'll be awesome if you write that as comments or at least link to the story/design doc which warranted that code.3 -
Ya know how the brits stole all the words from the parisians (the "french"), so that some words are false friends and are exactlty the same yet means different things because brits and french are inferior kinds of being?
How a "regime" mean a dictuture in english but it means "diet" in french so when they speak about the kim jung un regime I'm like "ahah did he lost the bacon yet??"
10 -
Is this a devRant bug?
I have a persistent (1) on my in-app notification bell (Android). I can't find any unread notification. It should be a comment notification. Maybe somebody generated such a notif, my phone picked it up, and then the other person undid the action that lead to the notif? (E.g. un-++, remove a comment or mention, delete their account, ???).
I see the (1) notification to on the web, and I can't find the actual notification there either!5 -
Factory Reset my Nexus 6P, can't get Google Assistant -
So I was using the Android O Dev preview and decided the annoying things in it was just too much so I un-enrolled which reset my device, I'm now on Android N and have been for a week or two, everything's up to date and all but holding the home menu gives me the "Now on tap", I've cleared the Google app and services data/cache, swapped the language to English (US) and rebooted a few times but still nothing.
I'm not rooted and my bootloader is locked, I'm in Australia and had access to Google Assistant without any trickery before...
Not too sure what I'm missing and how to enable Assistant? So freaking annoying not having it and stuff, it was so useful and I miss it3 -
Do you need the Konami code in your life? A simple (read as: doesn't have to be entered in perfectly), un-refactored (very messy, first pass by pretty tired dev. probably full of extra, slow crap that is misspelled), IIFY to add the Konami code to your next personal site (don't do this at work, might not go over well...). could be fun?
```(() => { const konami = ['ArrowUp','ArrowUp','ArrowDown','ArrowDown','ArrowLeft','ArrowRight','ArrowLeft','ArrowRight','b','a']; let keysPressed = []; document.getElementsByTagName('body')[0].addEventListener('keyup',(e) => {const findAllIndicies = target => {const allIndicies = []; keysPressed.forEach((key, idx) => {if (key===target) {allIndicies.push(idx)}}); return allIndicies;}keysPressed.push(e.key);if(keysPressed.length >= 10) {const startingPoints = findAllIndicies('ArrowUp'); startingPoints.forEach(point => {const working = keysPressed.slice(point); if (working.length >= 10) { const miniSlice = working.slice(0,10); const check = konami.filter(k => !miniSlice.included(k)); if (check.length === 0) { keysPressed = []; ADD_SOMETHING_COOL_HERE_FOR_YOUR_WEBSITE}}})}})})()```7 -
Had a 2nd phone interview just now with the manager of the department I'm applying too, rather than an HR person like last time.
I think it went really well, The guy was kinda awkward for what I know of managers thus far in my career, but he seemed chill and friendly and a lot more interested to talk about technology than the 'business' side of stuff lol.
He liked my experience and we talked a bit about what tech stuff I do outside of my current work since that's closer to what I'm applying for if not exactly comparable.
I asked at one point how employee reviews are done and dude said HR is mad at him cause he's 3 reviews behind where they say he should have done and he says he doesn't find them useful unless an employee is obviously doing bad un-quality work, so he ignores them.
Lol, I like him a lot more than my current manager from 1 call, and I had a more technical conversation in half an hour than these past 6 months combined.
I hope I get an offer, or at least another interview with that guy.1 -
Le débouchage est un procédé utilisé pour Debouchage Charleroi les drains et les canalisations. Ce processus est généralement effectué par un professionnel qui dispose des outils et de l'équipement appropriés pour effectuer le travail. Il existe de nombreux types de services de débouchage disponibles, mais ils ne sont pas tous créés égaux. Certaines entreprises peuvent offrir un prix moins cher, mais elles peuvent ne pas avoir l'expérience ou l'équipement approprié pour faire le travail correctement. Efficient Debouchage Charleroi Services est une entreprise qui propose une grande variété de services de débouchage. Ils sont en affaires depuis plus de 20 ans et ont l'expérience et l'équipement nécessaires pour bien faire le travail. Ils offrent une variété de services, y compris le nettoyage des canalisations, le nettoyage des canalisations et le nettoyage des fosses septiques. Ils offrent également une garantie de satisfaction satisfait ou remboursé afin que vous puissiez être sûr que vous serez satisfait des résultats.
my-dep.be/debouchage-charleroi/
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Not much riskiest though,
So on my office laptop I've duel boot Fedora as primary OS and windows another.
So for some reasons I needed extra space on windows so I had to un-allocate some space from /home as it had assigned too much disk(more than 100GB I think)
So I unmounted /home moved all the /home/myuser to /opt using sudo then did sudo rm -rf to /home/myuser and un-allocated some space
after I restarted laptop I get to know that I fucked up little xD
Took me while to fix that shit, I literally created one more user and fixed it as at the time of booting it was trying to get few configs from /home/myuser and even had permission issues. -
I'm digging the new GH notifications UI (beta):
https://github.com/notifications/...
It might not (yet) be available to you.
What's nice is that notifications can now be shown regardless of (un)read state (but you can still only show unread notifs). This means that you can read all notifications and not lose track of everything that you have read. Just mark notifications as 'done' when you're done, but until them just leave them in the list and/or save them for later. The UI is also responsive to the browser window, which is much better than before, because a lot of context and content now is shown! And it is possible to handle issues and PRs from the notification screen itself, which basically adds some additional UI elements to the regular issue/PR screens.
And earlier this week the GH Android app went into beta too: https://play.google.com/apps/...
It's a good week to be a GH user!
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