new rule in company

No headphones while coding

job hunting start......

Perfect meme

How to calculate walking distance

Km/m/inch ❌
3 songs ✔️

I have mouse
I have WordPress

Uh! Web developer

First day of job

Train cancelled.

🤷

@Devintrix , congrats and happy lifes with your wife. this joke is for you :)

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program began running unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources.

In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initialization, where it monitors all other system activity. Applications such as PokerNight 10.3, Drunken Boys Night 2.5 and Monday Night football 5.0 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected.

I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run some of my other favorite applications. I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but un-install does not work on this program.

Can you help me please?

Thanks,

Joe

——————————————————–
Dear Joe:

This is a very common problem men complain about but is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a “UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT” program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by its creator to run everything.

It is unlikely you would be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0. Hidden operating files within your system would cause Girlfriend 7.0 to emulate Wife 1.0 so nothing is gained.

It is impossible to un-install, delete, or purge the program files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this. Some have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than the original system.

I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the situation. Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Partnership Faults (GPFs). You must assume all responsibility for faults and problems that might occur, regardless of their cause. The best course of action will be to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE. The system will run smoothly as long as you take the blame for all the GPFs.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but very high maintenance. Consider buying additional software to improve the performance of Wife 1.0. I recommend Flowers 2.1, Jewelry 2.2, and Chocolates 5.0.

Do not, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This is not a supported application for Wife 1.0 and is likely to cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of luck,
Tech Support

Client: we need extraordinary website in ordinary price.
Me: ohk *google search* WordPress free theme.

Real Chat with new female friend.

Me : what are you studying now?
she : First year of MBBS
Me : that's nice. Generally boys/girls take admission in engg and commerce.
she : yuk. I hate engineer's and engineering specially that PC worm's(soft engg).
Me : k
She : what are you studying?
Me : soft engg
she : I didn't mean it.
Me : it's ok

-_-

WTF man

first salary cheque

Fucking happy

Looks like Apple is the new Microsoft and Microsoft is the new Apple...

I remember when every release of Windows was a catastrophic mess and you had to wait until at least SP2 to get the OS to work in a stable way. And Internet Exploder was *the* browser that broke everything, every time. And there was the whole embrace/extend thing, where they tried to impose their vision of web standards and compatibility, and *everything* you used *had* to come from Microsoft...

And now, it's Apple who fuck up every single OS release, on mobile and desktop, and whose browsers openly shit on web standards (ever try developing anything for Mobile Safari?). Apple's stuff that only works with Apple stuff (down to things like headphone jacks - OOPS, forgot, they dropped those now).

Microsoft is making interesting, beautiful hardware (Surface machines) while Apple is pushing un-innovative, overpriced garbage year in year out. And they're open-sourcing more and more, while Apple walls itself further and further behind its walled "garden". Bleh.

Be interesting to see in 10 years what will have shifted, because it'll change again by then.

My bosses, bosses, boss asked to call me up unexpectedly:
BBBoss:" Just wanted to say we are really happy with your performance, especially in these tough circumstances, ... "
Me thinking: "Ah, great I am getting laid off."
BBBoss: " ... which is why we decided to give you and extra 1000$ in you next paycheck."
Me: "??? ... for real."
BBBoss: "yes, thank you for your hard work."
Me: "I am still employed?"
BBBoss (laughs) :"Yes, we are happy to have you."

You know you're fucked when google returns less than a page of results on your short three word query. The first result is the only question on SO related to your problem un-answered for two years and the rest of them are in Chinese or Russian.

I have a telephone headset with a "confusing" mute button. Sometimes it works normally, but quite often it will "double-toggle" (toggle twice as though I pressed it twice, which essentially has no effect) - so I'm either left muted or left un-muted, the same as before I pressed the button at all - so I have to press it again, sometimes several times, for it to actuary work.

While I'm at my desk, I have a visual indicator of mute status (a light that turns green for un-muted or red for muted), so I can easily tell if my mic is hot or not. My old headset had a nice audible beep reminder if I was muted, but the new headset? Nope, not-so-much.

I work from home, while my wife works at an office; so each morning she leaves, but I stay in the home office. I almost always see her off one way or another, usually doing or saying something funny as she heads out.

So, one day, I'm on a large conference call with a number of cross-team managers, and my wife is about to head out the door. With the meeting droning on in my headset, I was in the kitchen with her for a while helping finish clean up after breakfast and getting her ready to go.

She needed to pack an ice-pack for some reason, and for the random humor of it, I start screaming something to the effect of "GIMMIE YO ICE PACKS - GIMMIE ALLLL YO ICE PACKS - YEAH! YEAH! IMMA PUT MY BAAAAAAAAALLLLLS ON IT - WHOOOOOOOOO!"

During which time I am jumping around like a crazy person, including actually grabbing one of the ice packs, putting it down the front of my pants and screaming. Loudly.

It was after my own screaming I overheard more than one person yelling on the bridge line "YOU'RE NOT MUTED! YOU'RE NOT MUTED!"

I have seldom felt such raw, unadulterated panic.

I rushed back to my home office - yes, the green light is on my desk - my mic is hot. When I pressed mute at some point earlier in the call, it double-toggled, leaving me un-muted, and I never knew.

Even more embarrassing was the chat session I saw on my computer screen. It was from my manager (one of the managers on the call) - he had pinged me several times while I was in the kitchen.

It read something like:

hey, you there?
is that your phone
I think your phone isn't muted
mute
dude, mute
is that you?
MUTE!
did you just say balls?

what a irony !

manager using MBP 2017 for browsing and presentation.

graphic designer is working on window xp sp2 dual core.

coreldraw

-_-

I was trying to access this website from 15 min.

i think i need sleep :(

one of my cousin ask me to help him for uploading his ex's private pics and videos on porn websites.
Because her parents are not allowing their marriage and she is not ready to go against family (he is not working anywhere, Jobless)

I simply take screenshots of our chat and send to his ex and her parents.

Hope they will punish him.

once you start using linux on laptop. here is a condition of your mouse.
i don't know when I touched it last time.

UN: admin
PW: password

How can I un-see this 😑😑

Wow
1 more family WhatsApp group
Now I am part of 7 family group with same member
😤

I had a coworker used to write PHP pages in this way:

<?php
echo "<html>";
echo "<head>";
// 2000+ lines of un-indented nightmares

I tried suggesting him to keep the HTML outside php tags as much as possible and I stressed out that adding some indentation to the code would have improved readability. I also sent him an example of my code created using an IDE with auto-indent functionality.

His creepy answer was: «Readability is subjective. Anyway I'll try to get used to the sinusoidal trend of your code.»

A ecom website which sales premium gold product from 50k to 170k INR.

database : mysql
all passwords and user ID's are saved in plain text.

Most useful readme file award goes too...

If you are not wasting your 10hours to automate your half hour work then you are not a real programmer.

Presenting my genious automation script :D :D :D

:(
Why google ?

I applied to Amazon recently not really thinking about it I was just bored. Dropped my CV and I was asked to fill in why would I want to work in that position. I un-ironically put “It sounds like a lot of fun”, got rejected instantly then got an unrelated message from an Amazon recruiter from another division inviting me to apply, rejected it because it didn’t sound as fun.

I’m an honest bloke I just want to have fun.

Nothing technical

Just wanna share with my devrant family.

Now I have own restaurant.
Ya ya I know it's nothing techie but I m happy that I own some business and I will test my entrepreneur skills here.

Fucking happy.

stackoverflow. the place where always the most un-popular answer solves my problem.

FUCK WORDPRESS

FUCKING FUCK THIS GODFORSAKEN CMS

FUCK THE GUY WHO USED PLUGINS WHO BREAK WHEN I TRY TO UPGRADE FROM PHP 5 TO PHP 7

FUCK THE THEME BUILDER WHICH WON'T WORK UNLESS I SWITCH TO PHP 7

FUCK THIS ENTIRE WEBSITE WHICH DEPENDS ON A PHP VERSION THAT HAS REACHED END OF LIFE ONE FUCKING YEAR AGO

FUCK THE OLD PEOPLE THAT ADMINISTER IT, AND DON'T WANT TO LEARN HOW TO USE NEW PLUGINS AND KEEP USING THE OLD, BROKEN AND UN-MAINTAINABLE ONES

special mention: fuck this one fucking plugin who claims to implement paypal when it doesn't actually work, and the 2 fucking thousand of JQuery lines I have to go through to fix it

So today is Monday. A bug report comes asking to be fix. I feels weird reading the report. Then I check the codes.

SOMEONE MESSING WITH MY CODES!!!

The other developer codes a very un-dynamic function that gives birth to bugs. Know what? He replaced my original codes with his faulty codes. 😑 😐

My boyfriend, actually. But I value the human aspect more than the tech genius in fairness. He may be no Linus Torvalds but I don't care and wouldn't change him.

Why him?

He's very kind to less experienced developers and always happy to help them. He teaches them not only how to solve things but how to get un-stuck the next time and what to learn.
His code reviews are inside out, not just a quick scan, he gives a chance to learn and takes one for himself too.
He takes pride in delivering great quality, well thought over code, on time.
He owns his mistakes and isn't afraid to admit when he makes them.
He reads a ton of tech books and always learns something new yet stays humble while discussing things he knows a lot about.
He has a ton of hobbies other than coding which he's good at.

Ah there, yeah whatever I'm a big softie today 😋 he's not on DevRant btw. Also sometimes I want to punch him too, but mainly he's a good guy :)

I've been wondering for a while, how the backend my team has to use could have so many issues. I was convinced they had no alerting system in place and have been commenting on it for a while now, and complaining about it.

Was on a Zoom call with one of the backend devs today, he shared his screen and had his email open. I saw a folder he had setup called alerts, and sub folders under that. One of them was named the name of the service/app we are using ... it had over 360,000 un-reads ... and emails are automatically deleted after 4 months in my company.

So they have alerts setup, they just don't care ... problem solved. Enjoy your weekend folks!

When you have 90% css code available in world but you are fucking lazy to apply it.

Weekend plan:
1. I will watch react conf
2. I want to complete vim cheat sheet
3. LFS project is too
4. Netflix
5. ........
...
.
.

Electricity : 😈

Fuck..
😡

Which distro did you get?

Best client ever:
Yesterday I meet my new client. He need portfolio website for his logistics business.
So I meet him and explain my previous experience in website development.
After 1hour he gave me advance 50% of total cost.

!rant ! technical
Just want to share with my devrant family.

Finally in relationship.
Funny thing is
Me-she
24-29
Hindu-jain
Non veg - veg
Don't have dressing sense- awesome dressing sense
Programmer-jewelry designer
Not so hygienic - so much hygienic
No gym ,no exercise - yoga master
Geeky - hate pc worms
2 times in jailed - follow every rule
Back bancher - front bancher
Love shayari/old bollywood song - EDM / western songs

Common bridge between us

MARVAL FANS
😂

Perfect room name dosen't exist.

conference room
name changed
to
"execution room"

Visual Studio Code.

I've tried you because of hearing a lot of good stuff about you. I'd switch back to netbeans regardless because I love netbeans and I always try to use as little as possible from companies like Google/microsoft/facebook (and others) but what you're pulling right now is un-fucking-believable.

I've disabled ANY AND EVERY form of calling home I could (find) in your settings. Crash reports, automatic updates, metrics, you name it. I've searched all the fucking settings but I can't find any other home calling thing that's enabled and yet:

I'm monitoring every goddamn DNS request (through my own DNS server) and I'm still seeing calls to a Microsoft owned domain. Closed all my browser sessions and you as well and it stopped. Started browser again but not you, nothing.
Started you again: BAM. Calls to that damned Microsoft owned domain again.

If you can't honour my decision for disabling any form of home calls, go fuck yourself.

Netbeans, I'm back, I've missed you 💜

In a moment of boredom I decided to pen test the new system I've been writing on the live server. Ran sqlmap but forgot to proxy my connection.

DDOS protection kicked in and blocked the entire offices connection to the server, had to drive home quickly to use my home internet to un-blacklist my office ip. 😂

Nothing to rant so posting this.😅

A PR I raised was left un-reviewed for 3 months. And finally when shit hit the fan, I was asked why I never worked on the fix.

I pointed to the PR I raised 3 months ago and I got absolutely flamed for it because obviously, it was my fault that I did my part, asked for a review and moved on to other tasks.

According to my manager, I should have kept pushing for the PR to be reviewed.

I wanted to set the office on fire that day.

I was checking old code

css:

class name : blue_box
background : #565656

:(

I will become a millionaire.

OH: Can you un-pdf this for me?

An un-rant on Universities. (UC Irvine)

A lot of my friends and I are about to graduate 👨‍🎓 from UCI, with Computer Science degrees.

Most of them are complaining that they don't know any current frameworks, and all that we learned is outdated.
And that pretty much any bootcamper knows more tools that any of us do.

I totally disagree. I don't think it's the university's job to teach you tools (node, tencerflow, ...), rather, I think they made us into programming Swiss Army knifes. I can pick up any framework (I wanna be a web dev) real easy, and when shit breaks down, I can easily figure out the issue.

I think that's the major difference between Computer Scientists and Bootcampers/Programmers. We know "why", while they know "how".

What do you think? Is the current price of a CS degree worth it?

++ing a rant and then realising you don't like that rant !

Weekends be like:
Half day = *thinking* what should I do in weekend
Half day= *thinking in regret* I didn't do anything productive
😂😂😂

When I was 13 yrs old, I played Counter strike. One day by chance, I went into its program files folder and started looking through the files. There I found a bots.db which I opened on Notepad++. I found out that unlike many other files, it had un-garbled text. So I studied its contents and soon realized that it contained bot profiles. I edited skill levels of some of them and opened the game. To my delight, the bot's skill did change. It was so awesome, I can now complete the missions I was stuck in. That was the moment I had first wanted to go into Software Development field but I only started to code 4 years later.

If only there were some previous example of a mouse with a cord in a more convenient spot Apple could've used as a reference...

At least you don't need a mouse to commit, push and stare at devRant😅.

*while drinking tea at cafe area*
me*thinking* : may be this is going to solve that error
yes
yess
yesssss

I got solution

but wait let's first drink this tea then I will try this solution

*came back on desk*

me*thinking* : -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

what was solution ? wtf?

Battery 0%

How I find most "modern" JavaScript frameworks

It's 1:20am
Body: let's sleep.
Heart: beer or rum.
Brain: why the hell js is not working as expected?

START NEW PROJECT:

<body class="container">
<h1>HELL WORLD</h1>
</body>

me : what is your age?
she : never asked girl her age

*found her linkedIn profile bsc from XYZ clg : 2009-12*

-_-

really easy to find information of many people's now a days.
just need basic google dork know.

Some guy in my programming class just made a bunch of commits with only empty lines and a picture of Kim Jong-un...

The more I visit a wide range of sites, the more I hate obnoxious cookie policy pop ups. The ones that take 2/3 are UN-FUCKING-NECESSARY.

Web devs that make them like this can you please tell me why?

My life was total mess up before this I.e.
Break
Return from death door
Drop in education
Financial unstable
Literally 1.5-2years was worst.

From last 3-5 months
I gave up FB(personal account ,I need it for digital marketing)

Unfollow every entertainment page from Instagram

Join Twitter
Increase activity in devrant

Subscribe to development related content in reddit
New YouTube channel just for learning purpose (never search songs and other stuff on it)

Start reading books like zero to one,think and grow rich....

Biography's of great people's like
Steve jobs
Elon Musk
Shivaji Maharaj

And many more

Stop chatting on stupid topics (hot girls,....)

Attained meditation camp
Start meditation (Vipassana)

Life feels more sorted

Thanks everyone

Fb notification
"xyz commented on PQR's status"

(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻

Wtf may I do?

Who am I?
Why Am I here ?
What is purpose of my life ?

finally
error solved

Life is too awesome.

OS : Tail OS ✓
pass : 16+ ✓
Update password : every 15 days ✓
Mac address : spoofing ✓

Then you realise

Your Aadhar information is in gov DB.

little confuse about this deal

"Me getting ready to squash the bug" vs
"Me after fixing the bug caused by my own stupidity"

Finished the hacktober fest yesterday.. fastest 5 PRs I've ever made on my repos, I actually forgot to sign up at the beginning of the month.. I pity those who are following me.

!rant

Many dev ranting that apple is reached $1T by selling stupid connector's...... and other shit.

I am not apple product owner.

But Today I want to salute steve jobs.
A person without college degree,drug addiction,guilt of adopted son,financial issue's without any god father........................

Created one company.

Kicked out from own company.

Joinned again.

developed such policy in company that every one should follow.

took retirement due to cancer and all right's transfer to A Gay CEO.

and
now that company reached $1T.

Really fucking motivational thing.
Nothing is impossible.

Most awkward work event/parts story?

There was a girl who worked in customer service, very goth. Un-kept hair, baggy cloths, dark lipstick, etc..etc. At a company holiday party there were several+many people (mostly dudes) asking "Who is that! ... She's HOT!!" etc (you could hear it from various tables), and someone said "That's Stefanie.", then the "Noooo...OMG..."
Apparently she cleaned up nicely (dressed like she was going to a movie premier, very classy). She and a female friend (also attractive, dressed like a million bucks) were sitting close to each together and you could hear more (inappropriate) comments "OMG, are they together!?...that's fucking hot!....".
Mind you, this wasn't a very big venue (and before all of today's woke-ness), I could hear it a few tables away (again, all dudes, customer service and warehouse worker folks), I *know* they could hear it from their table.
It was so bad Stefanie's CS manager talked about in the break room the next day. She wasn't at the holiday party, but the rumors were going wild that day.
<she's in her 60's and I wouldn't want to be on her bad side>
D: "I can't believe they made such a scene. I would have smacked those young men in the face! Stefanie has a boyfriend and Laura is married. They have been best friends since kindergarten, its disgusting what went on. And another thing..."

It was talked about for many years afterward.

Donald Trump is influencing developers

Wtf?

What the fuck man.
Why even I am working with this assholes.
Yesterday,Our technical support guy reinstalled windows(I don't mess up with technical issues because then it will be my part time job,so I show that I don't know anything about hardware).
He installed fucking 32 bit window,He was trying to installed 64 bit version thunderbird.

He wasted my whole day.

I'm task to amend the code smell in the project. I literally can cry a river.
I see such thing as i = i++; - It's flag out as a bug.

I have also seen check in classes. With un-used variables. I literally cried.

In the past, i ask why do i got to care about code quality. I actually start to get angry like the team leads in my project.

2 minute silence for people's
Who think solving 3*3 rubik cube is intelligent task!

client : show website
me: sir server is down
client : what? I don't know,I want to see my website.
me: sir try to understand it is not my issue
client *call cut*

fucking asshole -_-

I tried hard, but they're safe. (Un)fortunately (for me).... 😂

long message

whatsapp : * scroll *
reply : depend on last line happy sad whatever emoji ,sent same

devrant : *something important ,I must read everything*

When you see what worked for someone else with a similar issue on GitHub and run it.

Trust me, I hope I know what I'm doing too.

Fuck Android Oreo and everyone who thought that the following ideas are useful:
- xy app is running in the background notification, which can't be disabled
- xy app is overlaying other apps, click here if you wish to disable it. But you can't disable the notification, you can only disable the app.
- the un-zeroable data limit. It can't be disabled, you can only set it to a retarded high number to avoid annoying notifications

Go suck a veiny one Android devs. Fucking cunt faces.

Sometimes I un++ a rant/comment just to ++ it again

If I do it in python : Finish in one day!
If I do it in C++ :
1 week for installation and configuration
3 days for coding
Another 1 day for troubleshooting...

But I will still prefer do it in C++.

Updated a website for an older client today. Realized I originally wrote their website in 2002.

That web site is a fucking non-responsive piece of shit... but it is still running normally after 18 years.

Just HTML/CSS and some light JS/PHP for form processing. It's not fancy but it still performs and works perfect on Desktop and OK on mobile. Mobile devices which DID NOT EXIST when I wrote it.

Let this be a lesson to the entire new class of developers who seems to think you need some framework to develop. You don't. And I GUARANTEE if that site used any framework that framework would have been retired or updated to un-useability 10 years ago.

Meanwhile my LAMP ass "web native" shit spaghetti with ZERO DEPENDENCIES is still just chugging the fuck along.

>Throw my phone on the bed in preparation for going to sleep
>Turn the lights off and quickly pull the blanket off the bed to straighten it
>Hear this un-earthly sound of my phone crashing to the floor and sliding across the floorboards
>.....

Skills required for ML :
Math skills:
|====================|
Programming skills :
|===|

Skills required for ML with GPU:
Math skills:
|====================|
Programming skills :
|====================|

/*contemplating career choice*/
: /

Life without google, stackoverflow, GitHub.😵
Can you imagine it?

I attended a 2-days scientific conference last week which lasted from 9 AM-7 PM.
I submit my travel expenses today and the university adm got guts to tell me that
I should commute 6 hours everyday to that place instead of staying in a hotel.

Please people, I contribute making our research and name renown to the public. I don't even get paid doing that (did it for the sake of experience).
The least you can do is to support the accomodation. The penny pinching you did in the name of cost saving is embarrasing.

I didn't like every hour spent working in the uni, yet people still ask me why I won't continue to PhD.
No offence to all PhDs out there. It's just that my practical and money-oriented ass couldn't
stand all the free work I have to do if I do that.
I'd rather work in a supermarket, at least I'm getting paid of what I'm worth.
😕

Don't scroll here.
Go and live a real life,
Don't make a computer screen as your world,
there is a beautiful world outside of your cave,
Talk with people's face to face,
go
go
go.

Ok enough philosophy, Time to add new shit in current shitty code.
(-_-)

Previously, I rant in twitter but none of my followers understand them.
So now I am gonna switch here.

Please bear with me. (^.^)d

I'm a noob so I was dumb enough to google 'Eyeballs' in case it's a kind of tools that I don't known yet.
😕

This scene is an 8-year-old.
My friend(F) got his first mobile. First featured mobile.
Maximum smartness in that mobile was a snake game and Bluetooth.
So I decided to prank him.
M: Bro do you know this particular model need a network to use Bluetooth?
F: I am not stupid to believe you.
M: I can prove that.
F: K prove me, I will give you treat.
M: ok, turn on your Bluetooth paired it with my Bluetooth.
F: Ok
*start sending him the movie. We were on the train, a train was about to enter the tunnel*
M: When the train will enter a tunnel, We will lose network and sending will fail.
F: ok let's see.

*when a train enters in a tunnel, we shift light to black in meantime for 3-4 sec our eyes feel blindness. so I closed eyes before entering a tunnel and once train enter in the tunnel immediately restart Bluetooth *

M: look sending failed
F: Seriously man, I didn't know that.
M: It's ok bro next time inform me before buying any electronics.
F: sure
M: my treat?
F: Yup

*for next few days, he was thinking that Bluetooth need a network to send files until whole group laugh on him*

How to kill task manager?

I think everything in Life can be fixed with SSD.

People talk about how they would love to switch to Linux, but cannot, as they claim that gaming lives on Windows. This may have been the case ten years ago but it isn't now.

And further, Microsoft is working hard to break steam, humble, gog, and any other delivery systems they do not control. Such anti-consumer behavior should not be tolerated, let alone rewarded. One result of this is that almost every indie game that comes out now has native Linux support within months, if not on day 1.

The only weak spot is AAA games. But as AAA games and mobile games begin to converge, in terms of the subscription/microtransaction models they're both moving toward, with very few exceptions, I personally don't think I'm really missing anything when I see a Windows-only game for $60 with no Linux support.

And if I really want, I can play un-wine-able Windows games through parsec, though that's getting rarer and rarer all the time.

Imagine: It's the year 2109.

You pay a subscription of $2.00/week to be able to shut off your alarm.

You open up your laptop and after watching 5 un-skippable ads, Windows 35 boots up so you can start working.

You start VSCode and it requires you to watch an ad, to boot up.

You pay a subscription of $29.99/month to get full access to your keyboard.

You pick up your mobile phone and you have to pay a subscription of $49.99/month to be able to unlock your phone as many times as you want.

Your mobile network allows you to make 1 phone call free for the day, post which you have to pay $1.50 per call. Data costs are seperate and its sold to you as a package, labled as an "Offer".

Your salary is compared to peanuts even though tech has gone beyond its limits.

Life is Good.

!RANT

my friend who never smoke or drink or relationship to much career oriended.working in multinational company. recently south african petrol company gave offer letter to him.
he was ill from few days.(completed his engineering in civil with 9.1 pointer last year.)

somekind of syndrome found in him. due to which he will not able to walk in 2 years.

he share this information with me. asking me tips,"how to inform my mom dad? I don't wan to face them. I can't do anything for them."

life is fucking unfair with some peoples.

Challenge was

Draw something meaningful in 5 min

I draw this
😅

SHA-1 was just "broken" and Dovecot still defaults to un-salted MD5 ?!?!

I am listening EDM from 3days and Today this notification reminds me,Google data stealing and selling to other companies.

My non-programmer friend (a mechanical engineer) has better pay doing what she loves.

I have lower pay, clocking more hours, and stress, doing a subject that I don't like.

Should I change profession?
: /

#heavyrant

AGAIN !!! MICROSOFT (MAY GOD SEND THEM TO HELL) GAVE A DEADLY BLOW TO SOMETHING I USED TO LOVE !!

This new UI update is just aweful, i mean, i love github, i work using github, i do so many things with it, or should i say that i used to ....

This update seems so un-natural, it just doesn't fit.

Why would the collabs be shown so obviously ??
Why would the main window be so narrow while the rest is widescreen ????

My eyes get tired so quickly when i use it now.

It used to be something nice, easy to use, but now it is more like a social media than a professional coding tool.

I HATE YOU MISCROSOT WHAT EVER YOU TOUCH TURNS TO BE A SHIT HOLE

is it common?

Manager : check theme performance in internet explorer

me : sure

Me : "I need to stop geeking out about security because I have exams and need to write a report"

Me 2 hours later : "Ooooo.. what's this cool article about?Let's check it out 😎"

Sometimes it's irritating

Workstation in office : windows/Mac

Home : Ubuntu

Virtual machine : fedora

Developing : LFS (just for hobby)

😂😂😂

Still searching for arch and BSD 😂😂

Best Hardware support team.
I hope every one of you got such team.

My keyboard was not working properly.
programmer's most used special character ; is auto typing anywhere that is obviously keyboard issue so I called H/W support team.

me: *explained above problem.*
supporter : Ya we know that issue ,YOUR HARD DRIVE IS CORRUPTED. We have 2 option
1) either we can formate your system.
2) We have to change hard drive.
Me thinking : *devrant stuff found*
Me: that is really sad part. How many time you solved such problem?
S: This is my first time in this company ,previously I solved such issue more than 10 time.
Me: you really look smart.
S: thank you,any how I will resolved this issue today.
Me: today I am going earlier but yes we will meet on monday. thank you for quick response.

Gah gets me every time I open an image I want to share with friends on messages later.
Share dialog ain't cutting it.

Those of you who like "The Imitation Game", you probably want to check out "Hidden Figures" (2016). It's on Netflix now.

About a team of female African-American mathematicians who wanted to "break the glass ceiling" in NASA.
- Dorothy : conquered the (recently acquired) IBM frameworks using Fortran and taught her team to program it
- Mary : appealed to court to be allowed to study in a all-white school to get her qualification to be an aerospace engineer
- Katherine : her skills in analytical geometry enabled her to be the first female African-American in the Space Task Group in calculating the momentous capsule launch into orbit

My lazy ass just can't fathom how someone who deals with so much math and pressure can still smile to their family after work. My grumpiness nature will surely turn me into a monster.

And now I know what "human computers" means.

I know we havent gave you any specification, documentation and not a single design but when do you think this will be done?

- Every fucking PM un the world

meanwhile un japan, learning C book

Worst part about being a visual designer?
Looking at anything that's a pixel too much to left/right/top/bottom and not being able to UN-see it

what a morning surprise!
{-_-}

In my ongoing quest to un-Google my life, I turned off the Whatsapp chat back up, which uses Google Drive. There's a message in that setting which says, "Media and messages you back up are not protected by Whatsapp end-to-end encryption while in Google drive".
Damn.
All my Whatsapp chats for years have been on Google servers in plaintext.
I assumed it uploaded one massive encrypted archive.

Hey React, why won't you die?

Seriously, you are cumbersome to use, heavy as shit, awful syntax and do only the most basic reactive operations possible.

Why do you have to re-render un-changed components?

You were good when you came out, but please, get the fuck out of job requirements everywhere.

100 ++ in 6h

It all started when I was driving and wasn’t paying attention to the road bc I was trying to think of a solution to a coding issue when all the sudden a deer jumps in front of my car! My car is smashed and I call road service. They send someone out and as I wait I decide to do a little coding while in the middle of the woods with my laptop. I sit down and the same deer (remarkably un phased) charges me and kicks my laptop like a football. I suffered not one but two impacts from coding...

when your quora follower proposed you,after
reading your blog/answer.

I tried this on tinder. She was confused and proceeded to un-match me. A !false statement would be to say that I’ve failed at life. 😉

I can't sleep whenever I remember ,few year before I paid $25 for ethical hacking workshop and they show us inspect element n SQL map

Now Kim Jong Un as returned. And all those meme that were circulating last week. I think this anime needs to be made.

We have the artwork. We have the story. Japan your call.

FUCK IOS PUSH NOTIFICATION THAT IS SO FUCKING UN-FUCKING-RELIA-FUCKING-BLE. YOU MAKE ME CRI AT WORK!

So my country's president just decided that Turkey is too cool to set clocks back for an hour and it fucked all of my device's times up. And I'm not even sure how to convert time zones anymore.. And some devices (un) update time back to summer time so logs and notifications go crazy.

This is just a stupid idea that doesn't make the single bit of sense, are they that unoccupied to change time on their whim ?! You are the government first find a fucking proper solution for all the immigrants from neighboring countries and our unbalanced ass economy.. I'm so fucking pissed this isn't the first time our president plays with the country like this.

Uugh I just want to renounce my citizenship and reside somewhere else that isn't as fucked up as Turkey.. I'm sorry my ancestors that shed blood for this country. It's crumbling because of ignorant masses that follow a dictator blindly.

The whole dev community.

Those who have dedicated time and energy to share solutions, tricks, bug-solving ideas, codes that I can steal; teach me patiently even though I am slow, cheer me up when I am down because I'm stuck debugging for hours, brighten me up with programming jokes when I am sad.
Those who have allowed me to earn good money in the field that I really enjoy.

Yeah, including you 😘

Note for managers,
If your intern doing 6hours task in 3 hours doesn't mean he is ready for next task.
It is fucking mean that he did his task give him time to take some breath.

Please and please, if you cannot take the time out to create new classes do not copy and paste another without editing it properly! I noticed you do a find and replace and then leave 50% of variable names un-edited because all errors are gone. I am begging you in the name of Zeus edit your shit!
Here is one dick head:

Well. Fuck.

A sunny monday morning. The sun almost glimpsing over the horizon. I'm on my way to the office, taking a breath of fresh cool air. It is infused by the scent of sweet pastries.

I reach the office, but something is different. Why is the door slightly opened? Carefully I grab the door handle. I do my first step past the doorframe and wooosch. Thick and sticky stuff is running done my spine, finding it's way through my clothes. I feel so un-fucking-believably dirty in this very moment.

This should give you an impression how I felt when I had to change a DNS record in this completely broken setup for just a matter of seconds until the letsencrypt client renewed the certificate.

I'm feeling seriously dirty.

OK people, I don't need a novel written for every line of code, but PLEASE STOP trying to tell me that "yOuR coDe sHouLd bE sELf dOcUmeNtiNg aNd cOmMenTs mEaN iT's aUtoMaTiCaLLy bAd". That's a bunch of BS. I can't begin to tell you how many times I've saved my own butt by dropping a "this call can't be awaited; causes the library's internal API to throw an error" comment in my C#, or a "can't use double quotes here; doesn't work right for some reason" line in my JavaScript. Sometimes there are very good but un-obvious reasons why something was done a certain way, even though it looks like it could be done better. And don't try to tell me "the tests will catch it". Let's be realistic here, nobody has 100% test coverage on any project that's much more than "Hello World". And even if the tests DID catch it, why waste the time when you could just write a comment?

P.S.: This is not directed at anyone on here specifically. It's directed at all the devs I've met IRL and the comments I've seen on SO, who think that comments must be bad.

Need suggestion:
I gave interview in small company. They give me task to complete one project then we will give you job.
It takes me 2 weeks.
Now they are ready to give me job but they want that project in free of cost. What should I do?

My last company had a code base originating in the 90's and they still write most parts of the GUI with a library that is a thin layer on top of Win32 API, with a self-rolled "ORM" for DB access (with LOTS of enums) and all that with >2million lines of C++ code. The code includes at least two implementations of std vector and std:list. One of which is even *named* std::vector. Feels good remembering that I have left that behind

Had a developer interview today: asked him TOS or TNG he chose TOS and Kirk over Picard, un-hirable?

Intend to help a friend to find out what's wrong with a software installation in his laptop today...
But forgot that his Windows installed in Chinese version... how am I supposed to help.... (; _ ;)
I can't read Chinese... can't even find how to open Control Panel...
_________________________________
My native language is not English, but I always have all my techies set up in English.

My boss creates so many wtf moments with his total tech "un-savyness", although he is the " lead" dev, that I'm getting worried that I might be doing the biggest wtf faces every time ... I can't pretend like nothing is happening anymore .... Fuck!

what are your fav songs while coding?
mine:
old bollywood (black and white) songs and instrumental music mostly hariprasad chaurasia's flute.

So to un install Premie Pro I first need to sign in to my Adobe account, to then fucking update Creative Cloud, and then, then I can remove the garbage. Or so I hope ffs...

101% bug free

Fuck MySQL Workbench!
I have spent 2 fucking days diagramming a 350 table database 3 times over because if it doesn't crash and ignore your saves it corrupts its own data and drops the hours of formatting you've done! Now I'm trying to print an ugly un-formatted piece of sh*t because I need to get on a flight to the meeting I need to present this at and it ignores all my default printer settings and wastes 40 A3 sheets of paper. Does Oracle even use the shit they are releasing? For the love of god if you can't maintain it for free fix your fucking bugs and I will buy a license but I cant keep working like this.

Not fancy but enough for me.

Hope very soon I will setup my 3 monitor setup.

Reading JS written by “creative” types:

var myArray = []; //un-sorted values

var SortedArray = myArray.sort();

OrderedHtmlElement.innerText = myArray[0];

Look here if you are going to do it wrong at least commit to the wrongdoing!!!

Wish my 3 project managers would realize when everything is a P1, nothing is.

Sort of off topic but why can't you un-press buttons in elevators?
Seems like a no brain feature to me

he have point

comment on mark's post

Whatsapp REALLY needs a feature to silence the notifications for messages that are image only!

I'm now stuck having to communicate with a group for work so I had to un-silence it's notifications but I get sent 100+ memes and videos a day by EVERYONE else.

As much as I love them if I have to stop coding to check my phone only to find a fucking meme one more time I think I'm gonna snap...

Friends/Seniors : "Hey, you should take these courses. They are easy and you can get easily an A!"

Who the fuck decide what optional courses to take based on if it's easy or not?!
Students take them because :
a. They are interested in the subjects
b. Knowledge/skills after attending the courses will be beneficial for future career.

I put my money more on option b though, i.e I'd rather get C's in courses that I found it useful, than getting A's in useless courses.
(Btw, my avg grade is just a little above Cs)
If my sole purpose was just to get straight A's, I would enroll in liberal art courses instead of this stressing half-CS course we're in.
You're a joke to yourself, that's why I don't hang out with you.

Excuse me, can you please tell me which ass-to-mouth fucking moron had this oh-so-damn-stupid idea to take something so un-fucking-believable nice and simple, swallow it entirely just to create that most-ugly stinking pile of darkest shit I've every seen in my live.

Bluetooth.

After paired, it actually never works at first try to connect from notebook or pc, windows or linux. It's just a big annoying pile of utter garbage. FUCK.

The reason why I like to code alone in the dark is so that people cannot see my dumb mistakes such as 'forgetting to hit run after compile and wasting 10 min wondering why my code didn't show on the console'.

: /

Great... None of my coworkers know about this tiny bit of undocumented code, and the guy who wrote it, I replaced ... Fucks sake ... Next weeks gonna be hellish

So I decided to start using NoScript in Firefox recently, and it's been the most wonderful and annoying experience.

Wonderful - Easy to use whitelist on a domain basis makes it easy to un-break websites I trust while keeping potential malicious JS from other domains out.'

Annoying - Now I get why all the graybeards on Hacker News hate what the modern web has become

Honestly, why on earth do people give me un-cropped SVGs. That isn't helpful...

Google keeps reaffirming what I keep telling everyone... it's not 1995 any more. They just ripped Symantic over using 7-year old (un-updated) open-source components in Norton. These are massive zero-day exploits that are wide the hell open. If you're really concerned, use MSE on Windows. If you're on a Mac, grow a brain cell and actually look at what you grant permissions to, and you won't even need AV.

A software is as good as its documentation... a crap documentation makes it un usable... how so ever good your software is...

"It's very unfortunate that someone has to sit 10 hours a day on a computer screen but that's what we are paying for."
Working with an EU client.
Task is in stages beginning from assessment of an 9 year old Salesforce instance, cleanup and then transition to lightning.
The deliverabale in the first stage is excel sheet - objects(2400+), fields, apps, packages, profiles(110k), users, perm sets, apex classes, triggers, pages, s-controls and insert each and everything that a Salesforce instance could have.
Each and every data needs to be, analyzed and documented with our recommendations before being sent over. (Finding duplicates in 110k profiles??)
Oh, did I tell you, this was to be done four weeks? Weekend goes to hell.
That's when this beautiful motivational line comes up from the bridge, "It's very unfortunate that someone has to sit 10 hours a day on a computer screen but that's what we are paying for."
Fortunately(un?), that part of project is done and over with.

Now comes the clean up, identify packages not being used, remove them, qa and then push for deployment.
Mind you, this project is to be 2 weeks long. Its Friday of the first week today. And I am still working weekends.
Can I say, FML?

Spent 3 weeks working on an issue (raised by dev A) by following the suggested solution stated in the issue.
Pushed a PR and got told by dev B that it's not the correct solution.
Dude, I am just an intern here and following whatever they told me to do. If you have a problem with the solution, please discuss it with dev A.
Now I may have to let go of the issue completely because it turns out to be much more complicated, not for someone with intern level skill.
FML, I guess this won't be the last time I had this right?

most productive workflow I ever seen.

excel 1 : stock
excel 2 : order

compare stock with order manually 1000+ product.
excel 3 : check history of order generator (shop)

excel 4 : today's price of product + tax
excel 5 : alot specific unit's of product
excel 6 : maintained bill credit/debit
next step : forword to managers for approval
excel 7 : edit's from nanager
process repeat till managers approval

excel 8 : dispatched history
excel 9 : return product (reason's/unit)
excel 10 : stock update return + new product's

and few more excel's

data of 5+ year's
daily 500+ order's

lPO listed company

i have not mentioned account and other stuff

(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻

I work on many projects at work. There's divisions of teams and each team typically has one project. Each one of those projects have weekly Sprint meetings.

That's great! For the team. That means each team has one meeting a week so it's not too disruptive for those individuals.

Me on the other hand? I've got my hand in all the buckets. I'm on every team. I'm the only person on every team. This means I get to go to every meeting.

Let me rephrase that:
This means I -have- to go to every. Single. Meeting.

Which means I have a meeting every. Single. Day. Even if I didn't touch that project that week.

It is literally THE biggest waste of time. I sit there in a 1-2 hour long meeting saying absolutely nothing, not even being spoken to. I could be working on other projects.

And these meetings normally interrupt something I'm working on. Conveniently in the middle of me being in my zone. It makes me completely un-motivated to work for the hour before the meeting because why bother if I'm just going to get interrupted? And then it takes an hour to get back into everything after the meeting because everyone is fooling around or complaining about the meeting.

So that's three hours of my 8 hour work day completely wasted.

Y'all give me hope that the Darwin Awards will be great again.

Boss just told me that he thought him making changing directly on production was "OK", because it always seemed to automatically update the other environments when his changes appeared "magically" a week later.

Yeah, because the frequent deployments I do and then come across your un-approved changes which I'm constantly flagging up has nothing to do with it!!

*facepalm*

May be it is small thing to many people's but as a less experience Developer it is big thing for me.
I AM GOING TO LEAD PROJECT.😊
Ohk project is not so big..

How greedy can you get?

> boss takes half assed gdpr project : branch xyz
> branch xyz requires deprecated version of npm/node
> I re-install node this time with deprecated version
> Wow this node is configured with ant build
> ECMA 5, config but code is shit as fuck
> still I get the job done , cannot test it because code is shit as fuck and I will never any thing to fix that un healthy code
> code doesn't run on client side,
> no shit Sherlock
> get a call from boss, it urget look in it and fix it

is anybody witness of a little pandemic?

So, I'm looking into something and end up on Stack Overflow. Someone posted the question:

"Does minified javascript improve performance?"

This question was old as shit, all they way from 07/25/09, and about an Adobe Air application. (Remember that? Me neither...) It had a great, accepted, and still accurate answer, posted the same day the question was asked. Now, fast forward 8 years and on 12/08/17 (A mere 7 months ago...) the following answer was posted. I don't know what they were thinking, but here it is, complete and unabridged, with my comments in square brackets:

"I'd like to post this as a separate answer as it somewhat contrasts the accepted one: [Somewhat contrasts? More like completely contradicts...]

Yes, it does make a performance difference as it reduces parsing time - and that's often the critical thing. For me, it was even just simply linear in the size and I could get it from 12s to 4s parse time by minifying from 3MB to 1MB. [First off, your parse time should NEVER be THE critical thing, but secondly, and more importantly, WHO THE FUCK HAS 1MB OF MINIFIED JS ON A PAGE!!!]

It's not a big app either, it just has a couple of reasonable dependencies. [THERE IS ABSOFUCKINGLUTELY NOTHING REASONABLE ABOUT ANYTHING HE JUST SAID! What dependancies is he using?! You could use minified and not even gzipped jQuery, AngularJS, Vue, Ember, React, AND Dojo libraries on the SAME PAGE, AND have 118k of application code, AND STILL NOT HAVE HIT 1MB QUITE YET!!!]

So the moral of the story here is: Yes, minifying is important for performance - and not because of bandwidth, but because of parsing. [Javascript should NEVER take longer to parse then to download, even on a low powered device...]"

So, yeah, I'm at a loss for what this guy was thinking, but the thought the people like this exist, and that my browser might one day be subjected to their horrific nightmare of code terrifies me...

friend : bro which phone may I buy?
me : mi / honor

next day
f : bro are you sure?
m : yup pretty sure ,in your budget this 2 are best phone

after 3-4 day
*call*
f : bro I buy phone.
m : congo , which pne ?
f : oppo f9

o(╥﹏╥)o

*Sitting in sql course*

Professor: "So today we are talking about normalization which will make our tables much more efficient and easier to understand."

Me: (In my head) "Sounds useful!"

Professor: "First we will start with UNF or un-normalized form"

*Professor shows example on projector*

Example:
"UNF: Student ( name, sAge, , college_name {COURSEID, cname. descCourse C# }]"

*Frustration begins to take hold as I play where's waldo*

Is it bad that I put on tshirts and have un-kept hair even at client briefs?, I am not the lead developer

In several occasions I run rm -rf * in the wrong folder (or wrong server!!).
No big deal so far, but I had to spent more time to redo my work since Linux has no fucking recycle bin like Win!
So I created this helper function to give my brain a few seconds to think before my finger hit Enter.

delete_all_files()
{
echo "WARNING:Delete all files? Type fluffycat to proceed"
read x
if [ "$x" = "fluffycat" ]
then
echo "Deleting all files..."
rm -rf *
fi
}
alias myrm=delete_all_files

Hehehe... I am a genius 😎

I fucking hate Google, but made the decision to use it as my primary search engine once again.

Reality dictates that I have already adopted it for well over a decade via searches since AllTheWeb existed along with owning enough Android devices to choke a twelve headed dragon whore.

But, here's the main reason: You.com and DuckDuckGo are so dumb as fuck, they might as well be Ron Jeremy's MySpace page.

You.com, for instance, is "completely customizable" by adding un-customizable "apps" without any control over the content it spews into your SERPS.

Neither seems to have interest in no longer padding results with shit you'd take a knife to. At least Google allows me to block those pages or sites from being seen again.

If you happen to live on Planet Earth (which currently seems to exclude 86.8% of the human population) you've been tracked before you even knew what "Big Brother" meant.

If you're looking to safeguard your security, buy a goddamn sword and time travel to remove the Zuckerberg timeline from existence.

I hate that the general consensus to the solution of “themes” has been exclusively dark/ light.

Not only does this make it future un-proof in case “light blue” becomes a common style choice, but it already fucks up TODAY when considering high contrast themes!

Who made this shaky system the agreed standard!?

first time trapped in cooperate politics. -_-

"chaliye es khel ko shuru kiya jaye"

"let's start the game "

I'm getting caught up on my personal project because I need to generate a lot of Dynamic HTML using JS and it's just a pain. I hate adding dependencies to a project, especially personal projects with no deadlines, so tomorrow I will be writing a vanilla templating system, and hopefully that will un-funk me.

trying to login fb
username : ...........
pass : ...................

without thinking just type that pass

error changed pass 2 year back

again try to remember same password
:(

unable to remember

Trying to un-fuck a botched rebase of a months worth of work. It took me a couple days, but it forced me to learn a lot about git's best practises and gotchas. It also taught me not to keep a months worth of work on a single branch!

How is 2 U$D/hour?
Fuck this country's stupid people and democracy.

Reason to hate my D grade engineering college.

1st lecture of web development.
(Syllabus html,css,PHP)

Expectation : at least teacher will introduce fucking web development technologies.
Reality:
Teacher=> look I don't know anything about PHP so learn from web. I will give you internal marks just submit assignment on time.
😅
Btw it is not story.

Day #1: You start working on something new, you feel stupid because you don't know anything.
Day #2: You learned the basic concepts. Start feeling so well.
Day #3-9...: Start feeling like you know everything.
Day #?: You start something new, you feel like the last piece of shit un the world.
Repeat

So glad i moved from a desktop PC to a laptop for development. I still have 2 workstations (one at home and one at work) with 3 screens, mechanical keyboard + mouse. But if i ever have to demo to a client/PM i just un-dock and take my laptop to them. Plus if the office is loud i just go to another room.

Force myself to learn more modern frameworks without getting horribly bored due to how mentally un stimulating they are

virtual box

I can play with any os.

So, apparently, in 2015 our webhost (ixwebhosting) was purchased by Site5... This week, they finally migrated us to Site5 servers without warning, taking my email down in the process...

Today, after following the instructions in their own KB article (that tells you to click an icon that doesn't exist,) and chatting with support for over an hour, I was told that the new system they migrated us to doesn't support catch-all email accounts... At all... It's simply not possible to receive an email that was sent to your domain, unless the email address exists in the system somewhere... Despite the fact that it's a standard cPanel feature, that the old and new systems both use cPanel, that every other webhost I have ever seen that uses cPanel has this feature available, AND the fact that this is an important feature for a lot of websites, because they pipe all of their emails to a script for processing... It's simply not possible... They won't be providing that feature anymore. Nor for that matter is it possible to be migrated back...

They migrated accounts to a system that has a basic email function intentionally disabled, without warning... And we can't afford to open an account with someone else ATM... So I can't get any email until we get migrated... FML

There's nothing annoys me more that seeing un-indented code. I think I have code OCD

When I say I'm a developer, it means that, in simpleton language, that I don't do your backups, I don't "repair" you PC because you're a baffon and I certainly do not edit company's logo which is in .png format deliver it in .cdr file and expect it as, as good and perfect as original, So fuck you, you impatient , imbecile , pompous prick I've ever met

> "Yeah take as much time as you want, but do it quickly"

I mean what the fuck does that even mean, if you want it done quickly then say so, be a man and face it and don't hide behind the excuse of "take as much time as you want"

Fucking idiots, little do they know when I'm in the zone I need time to think before act so I don't get blamed for "un-satisfied" product in the future.

So I've decided to leave loopholes in the current project I've been working on, deliver it, and leave the company and make their lives living hell, I know this is beneath anyone's standards but I have to do this to teach them how to treat a person properly,FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK,

This is going to be fun