"my app is so awesome you don't even have to close it, it crashes itself automatically. "

Sometimes you run your code,
it doesn't work, so you run it again,
it works

Sometimes you open your fridge,
no food inside, so you close and open it again,
still no food inside

Just a joke I found online:

One day I was facing some issue with Outlook and I raised a ticket to get it resolved. I got a call from the Service Desk lady after some time and it went this way:

Lady: Hi I'm calling from service desk, what is the problem?

Me: (I explained the problem).

Lady: Can you please share your screen and give me the control so that I can solve the issue?

Me: (I shared the screen and gave the control. She solved it!!)

Lady: You may close the ticket from your end, the issue is solved.

Me: Thank you very much, I will close the ticket.

I opened her profile in lync and had a look at her profile. The display pic looked small in size. I instantly messaged her Employee ID to my colleague and asked him to have a look at her. He replied "She looks good in some angles".

I tried searching her FB profile with the help of her name, but there were too many results.

I started searching on Linked In instead, I found her profile this time. I was trying to enlarge the profile pic and suddenly a message popped up - it says

"I'll share my better picture with you on your outlook ID but you may please stop sharing your screen??"
😂

I noticed that urban dictionary didn't have a definition for devRant.

So I posted one.

And it got rejected ):

*Bawls like a baby*

To the four people who will read this, if you're remotely close to being interested, let me know, I'll post it here.

Fuxk yeah! My code works! It's 2AM, I'm happy and there's no one around, so I wrote a poem :-P

What was once impossible,
Is now close to completion,
Thanks to my debug statements,
Which now await their deletion.

So my girlfriend (non techie) just saw my rant about how I'd give her a baby if she knew how to close vim in a proper way (she saw me on devRant, asked me to show it and read my rants) and so I showed her vim so she'd get the joke.

I than told her, how it worked and such so she'd see how it's not a regular text editor and told her to try and quit it, and to my amazement, she did!

Guess she's a keeper :')

Hm.. so close..

I was in McDonald's and annoyed to see queues for all the self-service machines. I noticed one of them had nobody queueing though. Several people walked up to it, looked for two seconds, then just walk away. So naturally I had a look myself, and I saw that it was just a string displaying a bit wrongly. Hah!

So I walk up, close that order then make my own. Nothing at all wrong with it, people just have no clue about how computers work. Nobody even tried pressing the buttons after seeing that.

Of course I put it back to the broken screen before I left. I like chaos.

They had no 'close/cancel' option so i gave them my email and said, hey, sign me up

!Rant
Thought this was kind of funny for us lady devs/programmers, and something we can relate to.

The lady in the image is an engineer/programmer and is getting married but doesn't have any girlfriends (since she works in a mostly male oriented field, like us). So instead of having female bridesmaids she had her close brogrammers / college classmates stand up in her wedding with her. I mean, it was probably less drama, anyways! 😂

I'm the only girl on my team so I def relate!

*not my pic*

When you feel that you’re so close to finding the big at 2 am

So the bosses and general peeps at work never close our door properly.

Finally earning the "engineer" part of our job titles :p!

Mum: Tom time to do something get off your computer
Me: *continues staring at computer*
Mum: Tom?
Me: ...
Mum: TOM
Me: Whaaa? *moves head slightly up but still doesn't take eyes off computer"
Mum: Please get off your computer there's stuff you've gotta do
Me: *finally looking up* OK just let me fix this one thing I'm so close
Mum: fine, 5 mins
*5 mins later:
Mum: come on Tom time to get off
Me: uuuggghhhhhhhh I'm nearly done please
Mum: hurry up
Me: *tries to hurry and finish as to not upset her* please I'm so close
Mum: *furious glance*
Me: *furiouser typing noises and frantic clicking*
Me: *finishes, attempts to run the program*
Program: *runs just fine and problem I was trying to fix was working great*

...

...

*something else breaks*
Me: ok mum please just this one thing
Mum: OFF

Made this for my mom for one of her projects.
May not be 100% accurate, but I was lazy so that means it's close enough. 😋

Today I needed the scroll lock key.

I was running a super long test suite, one which puts a green dot on the screen every 500ms, so you can't scroll up. I needed to view some output of an earlier command... in other words, I needed to lock the automatic scrolling of the terminal.

That is what the scroll lock key was made for.

A momentous occasion.

Then I found out that a while ago, I used the macro function of my keyboard to rebind the that key... to close the current terminal window. 😡

This is just my token of appreciation for the Skype devs. Can't begin to say how much I hate it. Your android app is a joke even after a host of updates, your desktop client is an even bigger joke (atleast Linux Beta version, I know betas aren't supposed to be stable but this is ridiculous).

You have reinvented chat clients to be extremely bulky, cumbersome and very hard to sync across devices. And you have managed to make it "buffer" more than a YouTube video does on a 2G network. I for one, am blown over by how you did that. And to top it all, you can't close the client on Linux atleast! All you did is just override the close button so that it only minimises it. Brilliant piece of work right there!

Why the hell can't you just close the client and run it in the background the proper way like everyone else does? Why does it have to take 20 *** seconds to open a message? The only reason I am stuck with this is some wierdos in the office still only use this. Get your shit together 😡

Ahh.. I feel much better now.

My mother sits in front of me with her laptop. After a time she asks me, who founded Microsoft. I say: "Bill Gates but why?"
She: "Oh my god, I am winning an iPhone!!!"
I know exactly what's going on, so I go to her and show her the shitty URL and some grammar mistakes in the text and close the tab after explaining that it is phishing.
After that she just looks at me and is sooooo angry about me, because she still thinks that it was real. Only because they "knew which Internet provider we were using and that they just wanted to reward us for being customer!!!". I'm so sad now, because I never thought she would fall for sth. like this... 😔

Client hasn’t responded to my questions for over 2 weeks, so I close her ticket.

”Why the hell did you close the ticket!? The problem still exists!”

Sorry, I’m not a mind reader..

My first programming job started at a fairly small gamming company. We were pretty close because we were so small and sometimes jokes were a bit too personal. Anyway, during my 3 months probation period, the team lead invited the whole company at his house for a party. Long story short, I got wasted, and when the CEO arrived I went to him and told him something like: Yo dawg, let's drink, don't be a pu**y. The sad part is that I cannot remember doing that and apparently I shouted outloud. I had some pretty interesting meetings the next days. Came too close to being fired 😅.

University dorm admin story:
One guy had a problem with his ethernet cable. He broke RJ45 and wanted new one, so he asked on dorms group what to do. He was pointed to admin. So he grabbed a knife, cut the cable as close to wall as he could and walked with it to the admin guy. He said that he had problem with his cable and want new RJ45, so admin applied it on the both sides. Then he asked how to plug it back to the wall :D

A few years back we hired a new guy for our sales department. He worked with us for less than a week and seemed pretty normal.

Until one day he came into my office sat reeeeally close to me and actually whispered into my ear: "last night around midnight i was a bit hungry so i got up and fried some sausages".

Then he looked at me with the weirdest grin ever and just sat there for like 15 seconds not moving a muscle.

😳

So I'm doing my thing... Suddenly all open windows start closing one by one and computer starts a shut down.. and i realize the windows update is coming..

But like.. can you at least give me a 2 minutes heads up? How the fuck such a process gets approved in microsoft?

"Yeah just close everything and force restart.. it's fine"

So close

My mother seems to disengage her brain when using a computer, so you must give instructions in exacting detail...

Me: Close that window.
Mom: Um, ok?
Me: ... Click the little red button at the top left...
MS Word: Save document? Yes / No
Mom: ... Now what?
Me: Well, do you want to save that?
Mom: Yes! ...
Me: ... so... click Yes...

... and I die a little more inside...

My Galaxy S7 Edge fell onto the gravel road as I was getting out of my car and the screen shattered into tons of small cracks!! Just a few days before I was gonna sell it to somebody for the same price I bought it for! 😫

FUUUUUCCCKKK 😡

_An engineer was removing the engine parts from a motorcycle._

_Suddenly he saw a famous heart surgeon in his shop. He went to him & said.. "Look at this engine... I opened its heart, took the valves out, repaired and put them back"...So why do I get such a small salary? and u get huge sums_....!

_The doctor smiled at the engineer and came close to his ear and said.... "Try the same when the engine is running_."

👌👏 *Classic!*

_Continuation

.
_The engineer smiled back came close to doctors ear and said_
_I can pick any dead engine and make it alive . . . . . . . can you_ ???

👌👏 *Not only Classic but Epic*_ 😂😂👍

Who sits there so late throughout the night?
The developer it is, with his code so bright;
He holdeth the mouse tightly clasped in his hand,
He holdeth it safely, he keepth it dragging.

"Oh bug, wherefore do you seek to hide?"
"Look, developer, the sysadmin is close by our side!
Dost see not the sysadmin with his usbchain?"
"Oh dear, 'tis the blur increasing its radius."

[to be continued...]

Started testing out the concept of a new application I'm developing (nothing special)

I always seem to play games instead of coding, so I'm developing a trainer which monitors for any open games and checks whether I have coded enough in a day to play games.

If I haven't coded for long enough, it will force close the game and warn me.

Further development to happen.

I got my very first dev job! After first making it to an interview where I didn't think I did all too well, I got a boost when on the 22nd December they called me asking for a referral. I gave them one but the person could not be contacted before the 23rd - close to xmas.

After an agonizing wait over the xmas period I finally got the call today. One hell of a way to start the new year!

I got a summer job (full time student) doing actual coding! I am so pumped!!!

I'm real tired of my coworkers always trying to one up me and being elitist about their code. Like I get it, you think PHP is shit, C is so much better than Java. Wow, you must be so knowledgeable! /s

Just because you're bashing on bad languages and talking shit doesn't mean you write good code, and in fact your code isn't top quality, I've read it. All you're going to accomplish with an elitist mindset is close yourself off to improving, and that's probably the worst thing you can do as a developer.

I'm really close to handing my resignation letter, even if I don't have any other job offers right now.

That might be a good thing tho, as it would be good for me to take some time off and recover from all the toxicity of my current job. Working at this company is starting to take a toll on me, making me more asocial than I usually am. I'm even losing my passion for programming.

So yeah, I think I'll take some time to heal and find inspiration again before deciding what to do next.

When you accidentally start visual studio, and have to wait an eternity for it to load so you can close it..

Our software uses a lot of video/audio hardware. But this hardware goes away when we deliver to the customer.
So everyone was asked to think of a way to be less depended on hardware.
I thought of a very clever idea and I told it to two senior software engineers who both saw much potential in it.

I've only worked here for close to 2 months. And I feel like this is a major contribution if they'll use my idea

Next week at the brainstorm session I'll have to present my idea (informal meeting)

I'll make an update when I know more

So close!

Rant.
So I work in the service desk and the moment and one of our clients use Mac's.

One of the end users called up saying that it was being slow and sluggish.
End user: hi my Mac is being slow.

Me: when did you last reboot it?
End user: last night
*Remotely connects*
*Runs uptime in terminal*
Me: are you sure you rebooted it last night?
End user: yes I close the lid every night...

The up time was 68 days...

Hi DevRant fam! Unfortunately we've had it quite tough here in my beautiful land of Australia! So here is a pic of a local beach close to my home and fortunately a much nicer day! Hope you like it 😊

Big project this week. Lots of fires to put out. Deadlines approaching.

Monday: I can get by on just four hours sleep. No problem. Will be just like college.

Wednesday: I'm going to just close my eyes while this file uploads. Maybe I will backup the server while I'm at it; Just take a nap while that processes.

Friday: Sorry if my office smells like vomit. It's because I am so tired I vomited.

Sunday: I'm not getting out of this bed tomorrow. Let them fire me. I think I will just will myself into a coma. That will be nice.

What I've learned so far in Ubuntu
1. Never mess with root directory
2. Never mess with scary command
3. Never install additional DEs
4. Never close terminal while something is going on

Or you have to install Ubuntu again
Although I love Ubuntu

Bug:
So there is feature to long press on a picture to save it BUT when dialog comes up - its impossible to dismiss it, not that its impossible to close it, but wherever you click - it saves pic(even if on non button)

(Adding a picture for u guys to test it out)
(Sry for repost, i cant find anything else on my phone)

So I'm sitting down at a park bench coding. People are getting close & keep staring at my MacBook. I better leave...

this happened in the first project of a small software company.

the contract said: project will be finished only until customer satisfaction

the customer was never satisfied. So, the company had to close and open with a different brand name

When my idiot technical lead on the client’s floor (where everyone could hear him), “corrected” me in public telling me I should never use parent/child classes and override a method. Instead just use lots of if else statements in the one.

Not just is he a moron, but sounds like he knows what he is talking about if you are a client who knows nothing about coding. So I look like an idiot to our customers and he sounds smart... when it’s the other way around.

And HOW DARE you criticize anyone, even if it is warranted, in public in front of clients. You go in an office and close a door.

Got an 8:30 class in the morning.

Me: so close to fixing this bug. Just a bit more.
12:00 am
Me: I'll just install SQL and head to sleep.
1:00 am
Me: holy crap what time is it.
1:30 am
Me: I hate myself.

So I had a very long team viewer session with my colleague and after 3 hours we were finished and I went straight to pornhub after the session. But the problem was that I forget to close the team viewer session and 30 minutes later I saw him disconnect. FML, I’ll see him tomorrow

Almost got my audio settings set up, so close to actually sounding like me! :-D

So it's 2 weeks past launch day... And we are still not close to launching.

Sigh...

So fed up with this "Linux is hard to handle"-bull. If you want to do things the hard way, sure. But if you install a normal distribution like Ubuntu it's as close to "just works" as I have seen. Sure if you want to compile everything yourself into your perfect system it can be hard, but on windows or mac that's not hard, it's impossible.

Comes back to hometown for easter holidays.
(Not so close) 'friends & family' tech support requests start rolling in..

So our university website was recently refurbished with new design. But fucking hell it's bad. Not only the whole website is full of bugs, the design choices are extremely poor.

Sometimes, when I open a course page, it opens a modal with undefined as it's title. And I have to click close button ten times to close the modal.

I can't even blame university. The guy was a former student and Uni probably trusted him. What a retard!

!rant !dev
True story. Some years ago I worked, for a network manufacturer in the support department. One of me jobs was to help end-customer (private people) over the phone, who could not get online.

One day a 60+ year old woman called the support line, because se could not get on the Internet. And because our name was on the router, she called our support.

A colleague of mine took the call, and we could quickly see by his expression the it was "One of those calls". The minutes went by and they had gotten no closer to a solution after 45 min.

That was when I herd my colleague say "Well from what you tell, all the settings here are fine. Can you please close all the windows, so we can look at other settings". My colleague the looked weird and said, "She just told me it takes some minutes to close all the windows, so please hang on.".

After 2 min time the woman came back to the phone and said "I have now closed all the windows in the house, except one ceiling window that only my husband can reach. Hope it doesn't matter".

So, my plans:

Life
* to have my firstborn child and do my best as a father
* to pay off ~half of my 5yr lease (my brand new car arrived at the dealer yesterday, I will be picking it up within 2 weeks, yay!)
* not to die from starvation while paying it off

Work:
* to become more comfortable and fluent in my current position to reduce stress and save time for personal goals (learning another language / technology so that I'm not a prisoner of the field I'm good at)

Hobby:
* to publish my first Android game (or at least be close)
* to make indie game development my hobby, a way to vent off after work and hopefully a source of additional income
* learn to draw just a little (for my game dev)

So new PM is forcing everyone to use Google sheets as our main project management tool as it's free and does what she likes... Was so close to just quitting.

More rage: how the fudge does she think it's acceptable for every 'to-do' no matter how big or small needs to be recorded in a sheet with roughly 30 columns @#&#&£ work is going to grind to a halt whilst we fill it in. So many better tools to use! Oh it gets worse it's 1 sheet per a person so the longer you work there the bigger the sheet gets the more time you need to spend to find, record and even open the freaking document up.

Fuck, I'm too tired to rant about shit. Life is really starting to go better and I just...don't know what to rant about, so I've been quiet for the past couple months.

Uhhhhh, whenever I close my laptop the screen stays on and seeps through but I'm too lazy to actually mess with it to make it turn off when I close it?

I've been hanging out with my best friend again lately and she's the best fucking person ever?

OH WAIT, I'M BROKE, THERE'S SOMETHING (I've spent like 10 minutes typing, just trying to think of shit to say)! But I'm just bad with managing money and I get paid on Saturday anyways..

Guys. I don't know what to even rant about anymore. Life is finally going good enough that I don't feel the need to rant all the time.

So spent almost all my time on break just hoping to catch the elusive 512++, never came so I went to bed and slept... Woke up and by the skin of my teeth!!!!

So i was contributing to this project on github with a dangerously close (self-assigned) deadline and my friends called me to play some DotA. Well, i can say i didn't let anyone down.

Been wearing sunglasses to the office for a few months now because I'm sick of bright screens, light themes of co-workers, the daylight outside that shines through the windows (I moved to another desk further away from the windows), the ceiling lights that are always on (even when there's daylight from outside, thanks boss) and people expecting me to have my eyes open in meetings when there's nothing to look at so now I can just close them and switch to "standby" while I'm still listening.

I am a devampire.

So, the company I’m working for is finally merging with its sister company. That means budget for upgrading our infrastructure. And guess who volunteered to be in charge of it, and future sysops. That’s me.

Previously we haven’t had anything close to a sysops, and our servers has been neglected and never updated nor upgraded since 2012. We even had a Windows Server 2012 running with rdp wide open...

First Hackathon ends today. Long story short: I was the only programmer of the team, we only had 2 days to develop it (of which we spent the first day doing research, so 1 day of coding), so guess what it's shit.
I basically took a bootstrap theme, hardcoded some data. Put some js on top for interactions and a node js backend, to interface some APIs. Just by looking at the code you'll get cancer, but the others of the team where impressed, how good it looked an worked...

Let's hope the judges aren't familliar with coding as well (our challenge got two judges whereof one works at a bank as some guy whearing a suite and sponsoring stuff... Ao chances should be ok)

Honestly fuck this. Not one team (afaik) has pfoduced anything close to being finished...

One of the more memorable computer problems I solved were when I added some lego blocks to solve a recurring windows bluescreen
A friend had a Pentium 3 (slot 1) that kept throwing him several bluescrens per day so I decided to help
I open up the computer and saw that the processor were not properly securred in it's place and the plastic pieces that should have holding it in place were gone, so I improvised pressing in some lego pieces that I found somewhere to secure that the processor didn't move if someone were walking close to the computer and after that he didn't have any more bluescreens than the rest of us

Earlier today I went to the store to buy some new goods. Noticed some other person who was listening to music.. wirelessly, just like I often do. Wow, that's not something that I see every day. Normally everyone still has these wired headsets. So I took a closer look.
…
I shouldn't have. He was wearing AirPods. You were so close bud.. so close!

How it feels to be an intern : "Omg I helped people making an app in reactJS I feel like I improved a lot in the past months"

How it feels to come back at school : "omg I have trouble writing a simple algorithm I feel so dumb I'm the worst dev in the world"

That's the difference of working in a team with a great mood and close to no-stress AND studying while having to deal with social anxiety.

The conditions in which I work have a huge impact on the way I feel about myself, my skills and basically on my motivation.

The short story of how I'm terminally retarded.

tldr: accidentally replaced good code with empty file.

So, it's 3 o'clock. I just came from school, after an exam. I'm tired. I decide to relax and continue coding kuronbka. It works very well. In about 30 minutes my headache is gone and I'm 100% dev mode. I've implemented a simple music track, a background and ground collision. All of that. So, seven hours later, I'm finally ready to go off to sleep.

What I am supposed to do:
1) Ctrl + S
2) Close VS Code
3) Edit todo file
4) Commit and push changes to GitHub.
Please note, this is done almost automatically. I don't watch what I'm doing.

What my dumbass does:
1) Ctrl+A
2) Space
3) Ctrl+S
4) Close VS Code
5) Commit and push changes to GitHub.
Once again, it's done automatically by me, in one go. I didn't check any code. 3 minutes later I see that ASM file is 0kb. Something is up. Check GitHub. File is empty. Shit. Desperately go to VS Code try to Ctrl+Z but unsurprisingly it doesn't work.

Thank you for reading and I suggest you leave your diagnosis down below.

Dear client:
You have to think this is like building a house, so you have to spend time doing some serious thinking, so you come up with a (somewhat) good vision of what you want and what could possible change in the future... let me give you an example: let's say we were building a house and we are very close to finishing it, so you come up with the great idea of putting the kitchen where the living room is, and the bathroom in the second floor where the TV room was... if that happens, then I would tell you to go fuck yourself.
See dear client... there are pipes, wiring, and all sorts of stuff you don't see, that makes a house be a house... apply the same logic to building software and we'll be on the same page more often.
PS: I appreciate your business

So many steps and guilt to close accounts these days....

Even had to Google how to close it ... It's not in account settings...

My last day before vacation, Friday after hours,
Me as a Junior dev, not that experienced with bash.
An unfortunately with root on a prod machine.
I wrote a script and wanted it to stop at a specific point, but couldn’t remember which of those cmd it was so I wrote all of them.
Quit
Close
Stop
Halt
Exit

Ran the script.
Wanted to kill myself.
I haven’t had the privs to turn on the VM again.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
🤦🏽‍♂️
I definitely learned a lot!

Teaching my homeschooled son about prime numbers, which of course means we need to also teach prime number determination in Python (his coding language of choice), when leads to a discussion of processing power, and a newly rented cloud server over at digital ocean, and a search of prime number search optimizations, questioning if python is the right language, more performance optimizations, crap, the metrics I added are slowing this down, so feature flags to toggle off the metrics, crap, I actually have a real job I need to get back to. Oooh, I'm up to prime numbers in two millions, and , oh, I really should run that ssh session in screen so it keeps running if I close my laptop. I could make this a service and let it run in the background. I bet there's a library for this. He's only 9. We've already talked about encryption and the need to find large prime numbers.

My company’s upper leadership is sooo focused on the NUMBER of defects that are open on our project and only the number. We give each defect a priority of P0, P1, or P2. You would think this would help prioritize and strategize our plan to fix them. But nope. Every week we have some arbitrary “goal” to hit. A number purely made up by clueless leadership as to what makes a “quality” product.

On Friday’s, managers start harassing devs to merge their fixes and for QA to close out defects. So effectively rushing to hit that arbitrary number or else we’ll have to work Saturday.

Meanwhile they want more test automation coverage to reduce the incoming defect rate. But when the fuck do we have time to develop said tests when all you want is the defect closed to bring down your precious little number?!

They’d rather us close 25 P2 defects to bring the number down rather than 10 P0 or P1 defects. These leaders are so incompetent it kills me! Without any back story, they’re ultimately the reason we’re in this position in the first place! Argghhh!

Anyone else taking Harvard's CS50 via edX? It's so awesome! You get a better understanding of Computer Science and stuff. I'm loving C! It feels so close to communicating with the machine. Memory allocation fascinates me, too. Is this why it's fast? If you feel like you're lacking with the CS fundamentals although you can build apps or websites already, I recommend this. This is better than my whole years in college!

So.... yeah, making a Scratch clone (with more features) is frustrating and super hard.

Major problems include
- Drag&Drop from listbox to usercontrol - stress level : 3/10
- connect blocks when two blocks are close to each other - stress level : 10/10
- generate live code when there was a change in blocks editor - stress level : 9/10
- write a compiler or some interpreter that converts block code to real c# code - stress level : 10/10
- generate output by calling csc.exe - stress level : 1/10
- make code at least readable - stress level : 7/10

A dev posts a link to his website on a dev group I admin, first thing said site does is ask for my location. I look, no map not logically apparent reason for it, so I close the site.

Ask they guy why he is asking for such private info and he responds to tell me that he does not think a person's exact location is that private, and if he really wanted it he would just use the IP address.

Like how many fucking levels of dense is that.

@dfox the reply and modify buttons on the last comment in a rant on iphone6 is very close to the social media icons and comment button.

So close that its easy to hit the wrong one. A little extra padding in the bottom so that you can scroll half a centimeter more would help a lot.

iOS dev here
Just wanted to share my experience on updating Xcode and why I schedule 3 hours for this process.
So, updating Xcode via the AppStore has always been flaky at best and ofcouse Xcode needs to be closed first. You hit update, the button turns gray, half an hour in you still see no progress...
That's why I often just download it from the dev center. But since Xcode Ghost the app is also wrapped in a signed container.
So,
Downloading: 10 minutes
Expaning: 60 minutes!!!
After that I move the app in place and fire it up, always have to close my music player first grrr...
After that Gate Keeper verifies the app for another 60 minutes.
Finally Xcode comes to live.
Only need to install new command line tools for another few minutes and I can continue coding.
Wait. Half my day is over!
Why Apple? Why?
#wk24

GO FASTER

*GOD IT'S SO CLOSE*

My head hurts so much right now...

So there's a beautiful hilarious woman next door and we're getting really close (friend close), but she's 26 and she's just messing with my head so much, wtf is going off???

The whole dev team moved onto the floor of a deserted office. Close to a deadline with a manager that wouldn't stop interrupting us, so we all hid in a place where we could get work done for a few hours.

I tried to look for ParrotSec on Google because a friend of mine told me about it and instead of typing in what I should I typed, I was off by one key and had actually typed in "ParrotSex".

Teaching a relatives boyfriend VBA so he can edit macros in excel, he has an interview next week as a junior data analyst and this a requirement. This is his laptop keyboard. Pay close attention to the placement of ctrl, shift etc. and the lack of a backspace.

Mfw you try out Atom and it crashes the moment you open anything even slightly big. Then you try to close it out and reopen it but it decides it should start off right where you left it-suspended in time... doing absolutely nothing.

On another note, it looks beautiful, has many extensions, and is highly customizable but it gets bogged down so quickly.

So before the Age of JavaScript, when programming was trying to be an engineering discipline, I felt like we were getting close to figuring out what worked and what didn't. We had rules of thumb (more general than Patterns) and code smells.
Then JavaScript came in and no one had time to think about "engineering" anymore. I'm fine with MVP and small iterations, but the disdain I see for making code clean and extendable and improvable is baffling (and annoying). First-time coders might never have had to fix someone else's code, but two weeks in a chair should have fixed that.
It's not that understanding code is so hard (although it can be); understanding the _intent_ is hard. This MVP is great, but when no one had time to document what is actually supposed to happen, programmers have to reverse-engineer the *design*.

Everyone knows I develop, so whenever there's a cyber attack close friends blame it on me.

Felt great because I overclocked my 7700k to over 5.2GHz (with a tower fan). A few days later I was streaming Overwatch, won a match, blue screened...
So close to winning the silicone lottery!

Two days ago I was so close to being single again. Reason? I was in the zone when my fiancée called, the ring of the phone jarred me so much that I contemplated smashing the phone at the wall. I didn't but just turned it off. I guess she must have called a couple more times because when we finally spoke she was so angry that she threatened to get her stuff from my place. Luckily I later got back in the zone, and luckier still, I have a girlfriend.

I often hold pee and poop to close my parenthesis for a function and before I rush to the toilet. There's nothing else make me so enthusiastic except writing code, although I'm just a newbie developer.

When you deliver that feature after the deadline and the client doesn't care anymore.

Man im so frustranted...
My story goes on...
Now my boss yells at me every day, since I told him that what he did to me is a crime and that hes to blame for my burn out...
On my limits...
Dreaming a wake that im beating him up...
What to do? If I make a formal complain the company will close (we work 15 hours more every week that the law allows, meaning huge fines for every of the 200s workers)
If I dont im going insane...
Doctor already warned me, if I get worst ill have a month vacation on the psiciatric wing...

What to do...
Im shaking so hard that I feel electricity in my legs...
What to do...

Why the hell do so many Android games require internet? I want to play it in undergound when I have nothing better to do! If I had Internet I could be doing something usefull instead of playing stupid games! Even devRant survives by caching in the stations and doesn't f***ing close whenever I'm offline!

That lovely moment when a client calls out of the blue at 4:30PM (we close at 5), 3 weeks before scheduled launch and says, "My website goes down tomorrow so where are we at with the new site?" So...I scrambled all day today to get the site done and it turns out they don't even own their domain or control their DNS. (facepalm) They put in a 30 day cancellation with their current provider and didn't bother to mention we had barely 2 weeks to develop a full custom site.

i'm writing a custom web server for a project (esp32 based)

each 4 connections system crashes (cannot bind socket anymore)

i was so angry with espressif thinking that was their fault (bad implementation of posix sockets)
but is mine...

today i did another code review and I just discovered that i missed a fucking close() in the websockets handler
fuck
fuck
i wasted a month on this issue.

I spend the whole day decoding Assembly code for special formulas that we require for a current project.

And the client doesn't have them anywhere else.
There's only that old desktop application - written in assembly.

My Pc and I never felt so close before...
If it sounds like it was fun, it wasn't.
NOT. AT. ALL.

!dev && !rant

So, all through high school I grew out my hair. The last time I cut it was actually my sophomore year, so 2017. I've been thinking about cutting it for a bit, maybe do a different hairstyle. Last night I was hanging out with a few coworkers, and I decided that I'm gonna shave my head, and let it all grow back. It'll probably take at least a couple years, but why the hell not?

Pic is me from like last January? I haven't even trimmed my hair since 2017 so I have bad ends now, and it's basically stopped growing. So the picture is kinda close to what it is now, just a bit longer (like a bit past my chest)

That special Moment between finding the bug and becoming sheepherder.

Argh! This makes me sick!

I can't get any work done at work... The potatoe they gave me for a laptop is 5 years old, Every day I was approx 2 hours (no joke) for it to power up, open up my visual studio solutions, connect to the VPN, and open my browsers.

Then my fucking shit computer loses connectivity with one of my 2 monitors every 15 min so I need close the lid, reopen it again so it "picks up the monitor" then wait another 5 min for my windows to respond.

Agh!!!!!

It's frustrating too cuz my boss ordered me a new computer 2 months ago. But cuz I work for corporate bozos it took them 2 months just to process/place the order for a new computer. So now I have to wait even longer just to have a functioning computer.

First time going to college was my first time commiting for real becoming a dev. But with my close minded brain. I believe i only want to became a backend. So here is my story of me getting mad to monitor.

First year i got 24" Monitor. "Shit this is so unproductive, a need a new workspace to place my debugger".

Got another 24" Monitor. "ahh better" -- later on got a Web Developing Class. "Fuck i need moar workspace, i need to see a live reload and a debugger !"

Got a 27" Monitor. "FUCK, there is no way to plug this monitor"

Got No-Brainer-Fast-Bought 1060 3GB. "Finally !". Hmm "this one bigger monitor seems odd, i need to change this to become even"

Got another 2x27" Instead of 1x24" To replace 27". "Why the hell am i wasting money?".

...
...

...Maybe gamble poker when working is nice...

...
...

Got another 27".

So I'm tasked with rewriting the old software my employer uses to track basically anything in his company. They want to stick quite close to the old workflow as much as possible, I get that.

"Why exactly do you need access to the system? No you don't need to look at it just recreate the flow. I'll give you the sql structure is that OK? Oh and this won't take long, you can copy from the old code can't you? Wait why do you need access to the code? No. "

🙄

I found someone added a webapp I made to their site in an iframe.

The 'dark' box at the bottom of the screenshot is my webapp.

I don't really mind them iframing it. I hate adverts but I don't mind that much that they have adverts on their site.

I am very annoyed however that they have a huge overlay appearing on top telling people to turn off their ad-blocker. Also they use alert() to tell people to share their site on social media!

Being told to turn off my ad-block and having to close alert popup boxes are two of my most hated things.

So now I made a little update to my site so their visitors will see a nice little song playing.

I've had a pretty stressful week and I'm fairly close to burnnout.

I have Spotify running on one monitor and GitKraken (dark theme) running on the other.

A naff song begins to play on Spotify so go to open an alternative playlist.

Clicking upon any song title doesn't do anything at all.

After a couple of minutes of think WTF realized I was clicking upon commit messages in GitKraken.

I need to get some sleep. :/

So @Linux gave me a website to check which happens to have a tutorial on how to close ssh session after x inactive minutes, and now every time I'm back to the terminal I find my self out T_T

but it is a good life savior if I forgot my session on work computer lol

My colleague can be so fucking annoying I’m close to snapping. It’s morning, I just got it, didn’t have any coffee yet and he asks me “what did you do while I was gone?” (He was away sick a few days). So I start explaining to him the code changes we did and he takes it as an opportunity to interrupt me and ask more questions during my explanation. Mostly because he thinks it’s amusing. I continue explaining not giving in to his shit and he continues interrupting me and tries to make other team members laugh at his stupid face. No one does. I finally tell him to shut up and listen and he does.

It’s like having a kid run around, focusing on every sound other than what is important and trying to be funny when all that’s happening is everyone thinking he’s and asshole that should shut the fuck up. ARGH!!! So annoying.

Currently i am working as a student at a teaching chair for embedded systems, so my boss is the professor there and the subject of this weeks story 😄

He is very passionate about his field and keeps close contact to the students and their representatives.
He invests a lot of resources into getting students to learn and make projects and pays us to supervise a hands on course for students to build IoT projects.
As employees we get to work on interesting projects and he listens to us and our concerns if we feel a project is having certain problems.

Aaaaaw fuck yea. I'm finally at my mother's, for my first holidays since late December 2017, and I FINALLY can sleep as much as I want without being bothered. I just slept 30+ hours in 3 days, which is close to what I sleep in a week. Still tired though, but I feel so much more relaxed than the evening I arrived at my mom's place 3 days ago *.*

>Be me
>Decide to contribute to an open source project for the first time
> Nothing big, just a simple compile error fix
>Make first ever pull request
>Over weekend pull request accepted
>feelsgoodman.jpg
>Take a look at recent commits
>Module I tweaked was finished in a commit 6 hours ago
>Fix no longer relevant

So close.. :(

You guys ever get "Project Zoned"?

When you've been consulting with a client for the past few weeks and then in the end they say "I've decided I'm not going to move forward because it's better for me, blah blah blah. But if I did you'd be the person to do it."

But you spent all that time trying to close the project that seemed so attainable at the time, thinking about the money you could be making. Then you get hit with that shit stick.

God.

That happiness after you are so close to open the closest window and throw the pc, but you manage to fix the problem.

FUCK YOU GRUB I WON!!!!!!!!!!!! SUCK IT!

Team Meeting with Senior senior manager(SSM) from headquarters.
Post lunch break (casual talks)
SSM: You all people in this office live in luxury. Each and every door has a security guard to open and close the door for all of you. HQ doesn't have these.
Me: So, does it mean that there are no doors or no security guards at the HQ?
Everyone in my team with a very big facepalm. Manager telling me not to get high after having the lunch.

Footnote: All my colleagues and my manager often tells me that I get high just by eating food.

So, a close relative of me is a local politician in my hometown.
I managed his political website for a while but then I completely left it in the hand to who deal whit is PR.

Today he emailed me to update only the header photo. No big deal.

After a bit of scrambling I find what I used when I made that.

FML I hate me of the past

My brother is so dense. He Spent the entire day wondering why his headphone port wasn't working on his phone, started bitching to me listing off reasons why he thinks the jack is broken.
I sit him down, ask if he tried turning it on and off again.
For fucks sake he didn't, litterally fixed the problem; the most default solution in the book and he didn't even try it. My god why can't people figure this stuff out.

Officially I have been assigned as the close and extended family "tech guy". Wasting my time solving issues that should be first nature in this century.

Holy shit seriously: Fuck MSOffice. Fuck it right in the eyehole.

As desktop software, it's just brutally terrible. On my work mac, it's just sweaty garbage. The latest insult is that on the most recent update, msword stole the default file association from preview.

Libre isn't terrific, but at least it's closed when you close it. For that reason alone, it's orgasmic by comparison.

Because there's justice in the world, my job is not a document-centered one, so I have no real use at all for an office app, let alone the specific macros and formulae that the msoffice versions of these apps provide, so I couldn't give less of a shit about losing functionality.

The headline and main thrust of this rant is "fuck msoffice so hard that it dies of eye-fucking."

!rant

What's your dream GSDR/GWDR setup?

(Get shit/work done room)

Spacious desk, three 21" monitors. MacBook Pro laptop and windows/ubuntu desktop.

A nice big dry erase or smart board on the wall.

Hardwood/hard carpet floors.

One empty wall so that I may bounce a tennis ball against it while I contemplate.

Electric piano.

A tough padded bench for naps and laying down to change perspective.

Very good lighting.

Close proximity to a gym.

I guess I'll have to move out of my parents first though 😅

Been using linux for over 10 years, just got so-called-fast-no-windows-defender-no-bloatware-completely-revamped-clean-and-resource-efficient Windows 10 Lite poromotion by 3 close friends. we are now enemies.

Getting a ticket that a feature is having problems when you triple-click it. Otherwise it works fine.

I'm so close to write them simply back: "Then don't fuckin do it?"

That moment when your rant has gone so viral that you have to force close devRant app. Coz your phone is buzzing every half an hour....

Does anyone practise code reading and comprehension? If so, are you able to share your idea?

I try to find how to read code faster with retention and comprehension. It is much like speed reading, but I am reading code.

Here is my journey so far:
Stage 1:
When reading code, I literally each word in line as comment. I though it will help me to understand better. It did, but the retention was not strong enough.

Stage 2:
After reading each line, I will close my eyes for 1-2 seconds and do a reflection what I just read. Better understanding, but comprehension still not good.

Stage 3:
After reading each line, I use my own words to describe what it does and write down as comment. I found that I have better comprehension

Stage 4:
Constantly, remind myself to describe with my own words. this speeds up the reading and understanding.

To be honest, I am still trying.

When your screen is facing the window, so you’d rather have the door behind you closed otherwise you’ll get the glare from the window.

Why the fuck is it so hard for the people that go through the door to close it behind their fucking asses when they come into the room.

For fucks sake it’s not that hard you uncultured swines.

I hope I don't die with these two so close together...

So… I prefer nano over other terminal editors (Mainly because I don’t understand how to use others properly) and I wasn’t really aware of the VISUAL and EDITOR environment variables. So on my Arch machine most things would default to vi. Vi to me is like an annoying pop-up that really doesn’t want you to close it (Tho, one thing I did learn eventually was how to close it ). So at some point I quickly wanted to edit crontab as root and I just couldn't manage to get crontab to use nano. So what did I do?

sudo pacman -R vi

ln -s /usr/bin/nano /usr/bin/vi

I symlinked nano to vi and it finally worked. I know that there are probably countless ways this could’ve been done better but in that case I wouldn't have posted it here under wk81 ;)

To leave 9/5 behind and successfully launch my own thing. By design it should require minimal maintenance so I should be good to spend my time however I feel fit. Get my fam and close relatives involved as well.

Move out of that tiny apartment into a large house outside the city where my kids could grow their imagination, have nearly unlimited space to plat at safely, where I would no longer feel squeezed in tightly.

I'm the donkey and that's my carrot hanging in front of me

When you get so excited that your program finally works you accidentally close I t and it doesn't save :(

Hey buddy pal mate, yeah, i get it, you a good frontend dude but if your page lags on my phone, im gonna just close it and never open it again, so dont you fucking use every possible overhead framework known to man.

One last feature and I’ll be done with a project holy fuck. I’m so fucking close just one more class and it’s done and I can move on to something I like a little more.

Inspiring moment: when the control system I wrote for a robot stopped the thing's EDF mere inches from my nose when the bot went out of control (for other reasons) during testing. Had it not stopped I would probably be without a nose, that EDF (Electric Ducted Fan) had fairly sharp blades. Very scary, but very thrilling too.

Each time my code affects something in the real world, it feels so damn awesome. Thankfully I've not come close to losing my nose (or other body parts) after that incident, but that incident inspired me to continue work on failure-proof control systems that enforce safety.

That sweet feeling when the project is over and you can finally close all the 99+ tabs on the browser.
Feeling so happy right now! :)

This senior engineer had this kid spend most of a day tracing down all of the instances of a certain variable so they could make heavy changes to the software. We work under a change management system of course and all of this led to two weeks of work outside of any of this. The senior engineer ended up 🔥 and the kid very close.

I'm still trying to figure out what makes someone do something like that knowing the outcome.

I might be able to release my first application tomorrow. At least the first version.

Nothing special, be amazed if it gets much attention.

In short;

You specify any running processes you wish to forcefully close, in my case, games.

So any time these games start running, it's force closed.

The app also monitors the active window, of it's and IDE, like Visual Studio, it will add credit towards allowing those blocked processes to run.

Currently you get 1 credit for every minute you code.

I plan to refine it some more. And yes I know there's ways around it but, it was fun to make

Logging work in Jira, because it goes against the whole ethos of trusting people to get the work done when they have to log exactly how much time they spent on each individual story. It also doesnt account for pair programming. so 2 people log the same time and it looks like the story took twice as long. I’ll stop now because I’m precariously close to opening the “time based estimates” can of worms and thats for another rant.

When project managers are panicking and you know you are really so close from done, a few fixes and everything will fall into place. But manager is on your neck because "nothing is working" now you must take time to be their psychologist instead of working on what is actually making them panic 🙃 development is a rough space. One bug can stand in front of working products just like that

I really wanna say, please fuck off for a few hours. Thanks bye.

A customer once wanted buttons that would close the mask in an interface where the only way to close the mask was to click a default "OK" button. 🤔

So in the end we implemented a script on the customer's buttons that would send a calculated number of multiple keypresses of tab, tab, tab and finally enter on the default button. 🤑

It is still running in production and I will never ever touch it again! 😁

when you're reading an article on a site and a big pop up shows with no way out. then you don't know where is the thing you're reading so u just close the tab. that's productivity.

Probably taking our tech directors mobile phone and putting in the ceiling. Kept ringing him from our desks and he couldn't work out where it had gone, but could hear the theme from Rocky, so knew it was close!

I'm having way to many problems with my server... :(
I'm so close to just reinstalling everything at this point.. Buying a six-pack of Monster and doing it over night :/

tfw 256MB isn't enough RAM to load a zImage from SD, decompress it elsewhere, then boot Linux on a 3DS. OOM panic when trying to init a null wlan driver.

so close yet so very fucking far

I hate waiting for updates.

Like the time from when it goes public (whether press release or the update itself) to the time I get it? Yeah I hate that.

Roku released the new update, which includes support for Spotify. As a heavy Spotify user, this made me so happy. I got tired of having to plug my laptop into the HDMI port and controlling it with my phone.

But it's coming up on close to a month since it was released that the update would support Spotify and I've got nothing.

I'm too impatient sometimes.

The feeling when you are so damn close to solving a problem, yet so far...

┻┻ ノ( º - ºノ)

When you make fried eggs after you cook them abit put some water on them and then close them with a lid so they will cook evenly with the heat of the evaporating water

He was a python developer.

Always wanted to try this rubber duck debugging everybody is talking about. Sadly I do not have a rubber duck at my disposal, so this tennis ball has to do (the colors match, so thats close enough I think ッ).

Back to using WSL because I suck at installing windows apps on Wine (and that I can't seem to connect to a WiFi with PEAP on Linux that the network admin know how to except on Windows).

So can't exactly rice Windows. I know I can with raindock and all that but its not the same as Linux. So I'm on WSL, installed tmux and wouldn't you know it, I found plenty of dot tmux files on Github.

But alas, its not the same as i3wm but its close.

!rant, but a feature request.

@dfox, whenever I use the comment box, it covers the whole screen. So, if I wanna tag somebody in my comment, I gotta close the comment box once, memorize their username since there's no autocomplete on @'s and then type back.

Either the comment box could be shortened, or autocomplete be added to user tag function, which could atleast detect the users commenting on the current thread (since programmers suck at memorising).

What say, DevRanters?

Why is netbeans, or Java in general, so fucking bad at handling memory ? I mean, I'm literally doing nothing on my code and I see my IDE consuming more and more RAM, to some point it goes over 1GB so I have to close then reopen it to "flush" the memory taken...
It's 2017, how the fuck can't we still manage to actually use a correct amount of RAM when I open a barely 10MB project ??

And it applies to everything related to Java. Like Android, Minecraft and other Java based softwares...

tl;dr fuck me, I'm stupid, I suck at my job and I wanna die but can't complain because I'm labeled ungrateful

I am -this- close... -this- close to strangling someone, or myself for that matter, over trying to finish this goddamned website that I regret taking on just because I needed the money.

You make me rework my website design three times and eventually end up micro-managing me and keep on making me make small changes that even I can't figure out, nor can anyone else for that fucking matter because you want it to be 'perfect'. God I'm so irritated right now let me fucking sleep. I want out so bad but fuck me sideways with my gaping asshole I need the fucking money.

I wanna quit this shit so bad, it's making me hate myself and throwing me into an existential crisis whether or not am I even a good designer / developer because I just can't satisfy this perfectionist asshole and need to greet him with a smile every fucking time to maintain good terms between our startups.

Started a game.
It was like 12Fps lower. Hmmm.
I was wondering why then after hour of gaming i looked at FPS and it was back to normal.
OK thats weird.
Then i close the game and i realized i was building android ROM the whole time. The build was done thats why it jumped back to normal.
Mind you this is laptop so its amazing what AMD CPU can do in such a scenario.
I LOVE IT

I think I'm reaching now 40 hours in 3 days coding a function for a nasty grouping report.

Now the report is ready.
Testing with real data I'm 3/4 units off.

Now start at least one full week of monster counting-debugging-fixing on hundred of data.

If somebody get close to me in these days, I'll cut their throat drink their blood and eat their heart still beating, like Aztecs.

I'll have no time to cook or buy anything else to eat anyway, so it will be for survival.

Isn't Perl a beutiful language? Just check the beutiful screenshot of a function I just written...

Also this is so beutiful. Did you know that you can actually print directly from a perl script?:
$qp = new PostScript::Simple(papersize => "A4",direction => "RightDown",coordorigin => "LeftTop", colour => 0, eps => 0, units => "pt");
$qp->newpage;
$qp->setfont("Courier", 20);
$qp->text(20,20,"Hello Devrant");
$psock = IO::Socket::INET->new(PeerAddr => "192.168.1.40", PeerPort => "9100", Proto => "tcp");
if ($psock) {
$psock->autoflush(1);
print $psock $qp->get();
close($psock);
}

So, I finally decided to figure out how to fucking close vim! Surprisingly, there is a super easy way to rem...[read more]

Has anyone ever been so close to remembering a really old memory but can’t put your finger on it?

Maybe in a million or so years, 1 might gradually get close enough to be 2

So, I think I have to close slack

How do you guys deal with managers who message you after hours about work? My slack and email keep going off and it's been causing me a bit of anxiety. I decided to close the slack app on my computer and change the notification preferences so that I can breathe for a bit today. I am a frontend dev intern.

I was talking about the mobile game The Room around another student yesterday and mentioned how it's like a escape room type of game.

Today I got 3 different types of escape room commercials on Instagram/Facebook. Never gotten anything close to this regarding ads.

I've never felt so afraid, or spied on.

when you're on the cusp of finishing a feature that took 3wks up to this point to develop, and then your manager pulls you off of it

😓😓😓

Some context about me. Close to 3 years experience as a java developer. 1st class honours in Computer science plus oracle java 8 professional certified.

Today while discussing to a senior developer about a technical solution, he asked me a question.

Are you familiar with 'extends'?

He was talking about the keyword. I am so disturbed by it. Here I was thinking I was doing a great job. And he felt the need to verify if I knew inheritance keyword..

God knows what he and his fellow senior colleagues talk about me.. I must be looking like an absolute idiot in their eyes all this time..

I get some error when deleting an azure service so I put a support ticket asking for help. Just as I am about to close my computer for the day I receive an email saying:

"Product team will disable the account xxxxx from backend".

The xxxxx is our subscription number. The subscription that hosts not only that service but also production servers and databases, storage accounts containing backups, etc.

I replied to the email so hopefully disaster is avoided otherwise tomorrow wont be a happy day.

Brought my tablet to work so I can work on a side project during lunch. I keep catching myself daydream-debugging and side-eyeing the drawer that it’s in.

So close yet so far away...

Every side project I have ever started ever.

I get so close to finishing then stop it's so god damn annoying

Story time.

Previous role.
Have a BA working and overseeing the team.
Development is an absolute shit show at the company.
Basically constantly focussed on putting out fires and reeling from the 100 WTF’s a minute thanks to the batshit code the yes-men offshore Indian devs had created.

I’m quite outspoken, and don’t just roll over when people are cunts to me.

I ended up in so many meetings about communication and tone, merely because I wasn’t putting up with the BA’s two-faced cuntery where he tried to be my friend but at the same time be an utter fucking jobsworth.

Genuinely, I really got so close to decking him a few times.

Pic related.

Accidentally ran

$ git reset --hard

On my 2 weeks worth of uncommited code.
Thankfully Intellij has a local history. 😥

whenever I suspend my laptop my openvpn would get stuck on reconnecting and I'd have to ctrl c and wait for like minutes so it would correctly close. so I only used VPN when I really needed it.

but then I found out: mullvad (my VPN host supports wireguard! and so wireguard is a more passive protocol, and doesn't need to keep open the connection. so now I can just set my VPN to "always on" and not worry about it anymore, yay!

ps: you should have seen my face when I found out mullvad gives away free stickers! :D

I was so close to getting my macOS virtual machine fully working on my Razer Blade... But then I discovered that something with OpenGL/GLX doesn’t work properly, so I can’t use any graphics-heavy applications until I somehow figure out what’s wrong 😞

Quite sure, that there's a special place in hell waiting for the guy, who made the cmd+Q comb so close to the alt+Q (@) on the mac layout.

So I'm wondering how I'm getting a date that, according to the settings should not be that one in that case, but is pretty fucking close (so much so that I first thought that was the correct one).
Then I realise it's because I'm hitting a case where I can't get all the necessary info so I literally made a method called GuessDate and it tries to guess the date based on available info and it did an amazing job, but it didn't have all the data so it's slightly off.
I both love and hate programming right now :)

Since my ISP doesn't allow port forwards on that port, does anyone want to open their port 445 (if not otherwise occupied by Microsoft-DS) and have netcat reply an empty string or so any request (such as an empty string) sent over TCP (or has anyone already done so)? It would help me out a lot with testing out some networks full port range (since portquiz.net's hoster blocks that port) and would take close to no bandwidth for you.

So many rants..

UPS..

New UPS arrives, well, 2nd hand UPS..

First its the wrong model, but close enough..

Tested it when it arrived, it worked.

Now I want to attach it to batteries, it decides it doesn't want to work..

Never mind, I have another backup backup backup UPS !

Right model this time. :-)

Just arrived.

Plug in in, doesn't work..

So, 3 x UPS, one works, two don't.

Joyful..

Does anyone else get triggered when you use the python socket .recv() and the server does not return anything so the program just stays there indefinitely? For me, I can't even Ctrl+C it so I have to close the entire window. It's especially annoying when I start a server in the interpreter (quite a bit of lines) and I have to rewrite it afterwards.

!rant
tl;dr: programmer's excuse vs civilian excuse funny moment in conversation w/ gf

pertinent info: gf has access to my calendar; I added my class schedule for the upcoming semester earlier today

gf: you're taking human psychology where as im taking human development lol

me: I'm taking human psychology?
wat

gf: <screenshot of my calendar entry (it's human physiology)>
see

me: OH
Physiology
!=psychology
psybnlogy
close enough
the human brain's word recognition relies on lossy compression
not my fault
.-.

gf: ohhhhhh
I don't have my glasses on and my computer is far so that's my excuse lol

me: LOL
I assumed I misread it
didn't even double check your spelling

Ok so one of the advantages of Java is that it has a huge ecosystem of libraries.
Then why is there no fucking decent graph library?! I just need to display this planar graph. I'm so fucking close to learning c++ and using boost to layout the graph.
I'm seriously stuck with this since like a week.

FUUUUUCK

So my business developer informs me that he couldn't log in to a particular account. He as tried to log in but couldn't. I used my account and logged in fine. Tries with the credentials he gave again and was bounced. After about 15 minutes of wasting my time, I found out was giving me wrong username.
"Check the username again" I said as calm as I could.
Realizes his mistake and
" oh ... Sorry"...
If he only he knew how close I was to exploding...

A few years ago:

Installing Visualstudio 2008 on Xp.

Pc is laggy as f.
Start browsing nsfw to kill time and boss comes over. Try to close browser and not working. Start to panic a bit. Boss comes over looking at black boxes.

Pictures didnt render. I was so lucky

So close to 100 +1'S

So... This is the deal... I'm currently working part time (15 hours a week) while studying. We have a pretty hectic week at school and my boss is in the states. He told me I could take the week off. Great!
I now have a mailbox close to exploding and 20+ hours of work that has to be done this week. Bye bye weekend

I hate Intellij so much ...
* it has the weirdest bugs
* like window focus not working properly,
weird comment/uncomment short (jumps one line down wtf)
* It is slow as hell
* doesn't compile properly (or doesn't give a shit telling me about its actual status).
* Not even the build log is working properly. Why can I hide WARNs but no INFOs?? WTF
* Panels are all over the place and keep coming back, regardless how often I close them ....

ARG ARG ARG, *smashing face on the keyboard*

and the worst ... even though I have the F***ING ULTIMATE version, it constantly nags me about BUYING THE F***NG ULTIMATE VERSION AAAAAARG

If you could remember that I'm not your staff anymore and stop assigning me to projects. That'd be fucking swell.

I'm meant to be infrastructure now so fuck off. Oh a devs leaving let's hand the project to the infrastructure guy who's fucking leaving also!!

Fucking genius. I'm so close to just to saying fucking swivel and walking out. Fuck the notice period.

Finishing up the last few edits on the WordPress site from hell, client is here to see the finished product, senior dev looks over at me "so are the registration/login forms and sign out button working correctly again?"

Me: "yeah I'm just checking one thing first-SON OF A BITCH"

senior: "that does not instill confidence that the forms are working"

Wasn't a big deal, forgot to close a div and, well you know how that works

Get given two asset packs for a project I confirm with project lead, project manager and CTO which one they want to use. They then confirm with client and they all decided asset pack 2. Ok great, 3 months later week before deadline "we need asset pack 1 used instead"... Different resolution, different aspect ratio and now get nagged every few minutes how done is it, and that it's vital we meet the deadline. So close to just walking out that door.

Just helped in the little 'Büdchen' (kiosk comes close, but in reality it is more of an little super market) around the corner to Update the firmware of a money bill verifier and counter... As there are new 50 Euro bills.

God. Serial to USB. After running installer and starting firmware update, the owner was a bit frightened as it took so long....

XD

Setup. 30 secs. Firmware. 6 Minutes. XD

So CRA(create-react-app) v2 rolled out.

> started new project with my own boilerplate
> little did I know, I am accidentally doing int CRA2
> gulp-sass fails.
> Internal screaming.
> Bulma React Components fails to compile due to one type, IDK how they missed in previous build.
> fixed by removind browserlist array from package.json
> Guess what, it comes back as you close it.
> So, now I've to keep it open while gulp-sass is running, which is almost always, in order to compile.

Thank you and Fuck you facebook

I am trying to apply for a student credit card. Should be relatively simple, but guess what: it isn't. First there was a question on your income. I didn't know if you had to include your student loan by issued by the goverment and after calling the bank, the answer seemed to be no. And the form didn't succeed because your income should be higher than 1 euro. So I've contacted the bank again and it seems that you could just fill in your student loan as income. Okay, so that should fix the problem. So I came very close to completing the form, gave the website me an error in the last step!

Customer complains about an issue after a software update. The head of department himself tested the update and got an error message.

Me looking at the logs. Ok, that's an issue, but based on hardware failure, customer should fix his hardware, no relation to the new software.
But surprisingly close to the software update, which piques my curiosity.

Me looking at older logs ... same issue. EVERY FUCKING DAY. For months. The corresponding error message only appears if a user is logged on, so quite a few people have seen it. Obviously nobody cared. Maybe we just ditch error messages, it'll save lots of work.

So I got assigned to this project last week to help other developers to remove bugs from a android app. First bug I have to deal with: field that should only accept integers is accepting other characters and thus crashes the app.

Alright seems like a simple bug to get into the project and Xamarin. So I set some break points and find the bug: "uncaught FormatException on line 789 Convert.ToInt(string, v) .

OK then, implement some try-catch and add a warning message to the user.

let's try it out... alright, message works, close message and app crashes

-Tsc... dammit

search for the bug in code... "uncaught FormatException on line 899 Convert.ToInt(string, v)"

what the...

wait a minute, ~ Ctrl + F ~ - "Convert.ToInt"

17 matches on file

oh fuck me...

> be me
> javascript developer / ReactJS
> finished project
> chillLife.exe
> all of get sudden project which needs C# WebAPI service
> very close deadline
> Okay, let's see
> See the code and felt like suicide
> Post question on SO and got -4, no wonder
> null exp in C# or .NET
> By the end of day complete task 1 of the issues
> 3 issues
> It feels like some one's homework I'm doing
> Go to boss for 3rd issues
> Google it, you'll get the whole solution
> Why I am not surprised?
> ask @Elyz for help, and got something working
> I am the NullPointer