Unbelievable...

My company bought me a new laptop. It has 2 512 GB SSDs.

Our IT set it up with windows 10.
ON BOTH SSD.

OM fucking G. How dump you have to be to install windows 10 two times in the same machine? What kind of mental illness is this?

Spoke at my first conference yesterday! Was mental 😂😂 going to take me a week to recover

Overheard from a sales call (involving web templates):

"Sometimes I really don't get our devs. They come up with all these ridiculous meaningless acronyms for everything, and yet they go mental if you dare shorten Javascript to Java."

Boss : How do you access code at home ?

Me : Well, Git is fairly accessible from anywhere with the right credentials at hand

Boss : What of you have virus in your system ? Can't the virus infect our NodeJS code ?

Since then, I haven't been able to get out of the mental comatose induced.

anyone with same mental disorder as me ? 😂

Your mental stability closely matches that of Microsoft Windows. Especially that side when it gets this blue coloured screen with a sad emoticon.

As for your credibility and trustworthiness, I'd say you're at Facebook/Google/Microsoft level.

Anyone who creates a Facebook Libra account and puts money in it and uses it to buy stuff/for transactions should have their fucking voting rights removed and be submitted to a mental health institution.

Just my personal opinion.

I'm logging my DevRant time as training ... I read all these dumb things that people do, and make mental notes so that I don't do the same thing. Best. Training. Ever.

Hey, wanna hear a disappointing stack?

- WordPress
- jQuery
- vanilla inline CSS
- shitty random legacy PHP

Disclaimer:
The author is NOT responsible nor liable for any injuries, mental health issues, sanitary problems, asexuality, crippling depression, triggered by this rant nor liable for any damaged walls, hurt animals or deaths.

Working from home in 2020:

Both kids haven't interrupted me in an unusually long time.... That likely means they're up to no good.

On the other hand I'm getting a lot of coding done (bunch of fixes done / misc new tasks done).

So now I sort of do a little mental math to guess if the damage they might be doing is less than the value of me getting shit done for work....

Taking a break from the computer stuff...

People don't consider your sickness until you are on a bed showing symptoms.

Mental sickness is never considered.

Was struggling with depression and stress for an extended period. So, naturally, I had more sickdays than average.
However, I was still managing to overperform on my goals, so when it came time to discuss salary I was hopeful.

Didn't get a raise, not even a pat on the back. My manager told me he couldn't justify giving me the raise I had earned simply because I had had too many sick days. So my actual performance didn't count. Everybody else got raises though.

On a previous occasion he told me that I had to 'Learn what it means to have a job' and get my priorities straight. I told him I already had very little social life so I could spend what little energy I had on work. I tried to explain to him how depression works and he assured me he understood.

Yeah, right. My colleague with back problems, who suddenly couldn't walk, didn't get that treatment.

Depression is real. I'm so glad they ended up firing me so I could work for a place that cares.

Trying to design a company logo and all I keep ending up with is the pringles guy after he loses his job and has a mental break down in a forest...

First rant, please take pity on the noob! 😐

Recently I've secured many of my user accounts spread throughout the internet. Using the same old password for everything is bad for security and for mental health! 😫

Since I was on the mood, I've tried to do a 'break glass' scenario, simulating an attacker that possessed my Gmail account credentials. "How bad can it be?" I've thought to myself...

... Bad. Very bad. Turns out not only I use lots of oauth based services, I also wasn't able to authenticate back to Google without my pass.

So when you get home today, try simulating what would happen if someone got to your Google or Facebook account.

Makes you consider the amount of control these big companies have over your life 😶

I've just decided!
I am going to stop smoking.

I'm just afraid of the first days, where I'm going to crave nicotine, be anxious, have cold sweats, be in mental and even physical pain, and have noting to put in my longs when I'm bored or anxious.

I'm just going to smoke this last packet and I'm done with this shit!
I am physically sick of thinking about cancer and other diseases, and I'm sick of feeling like an old man.
I'm frickin' 22!

Please God, give me strength.

DO YOU EVEN CARE ABOUT MENTAL HEALTH

FUCKING DICKSHIT THE WORLD DOESN'T NEED YOU, THE WORLD DOESN'T WANT YOU. YOU SHOULD HAVE SUFFOCATED STRANGLED BY YOUR MOM'S VAGINA. HOLY SHIT "Im sO HapPy tO LEarN prOgRAmmiNg" YOU ARE NOT FUCKING LEARNING ANYTHING IF YOU END UP WITH A 3000 LINES SINGLE FILE YOU ARE JUST SMASHING YOUR DEAD PARENTS ON THE KEYBOARD LITTLE SICK PIDGEON RAPER. FUCKING BACHELOR STUDENT OF MY ASS HANG YOURSELF.

I'm convinced code addiction is a real problem and can lead to mental illness.

Dev: "Thanks for helping me with the splunk API. Already spent two weeks and was spinning my wheels."
Me: "I sent you the example over a month ago, I guess you could have used it to save time."
Dev: "I didn't understand it. I tried getting help from NetworkAdmin-Dan, SystemAdmin-Jake, they didn't understand what you sent me either."
Me: "I thought it was pretty simple. Pass it a query, get results back. That's it"
Dev: "The results were not in a standard JSON format. I was so confused."
Me: "Yea, it's sort-of JSON. Splunk streams the result as individual JSON records. You only have to deserialize each record into your object. I sent you the code sample."
Dev: "Your code didn't work. Dan and Jake were confused too. The data I have to process uses a very different result set. I guess I could have used it if you wrote the class more generically and had unit tests."
<oh frack...he's been going behind my back and telling people smack about my code again>
Me: "My code wouldn't have worked for you, because I'm serializing the objects I need and I do have unit tests, but they are only for the internal logic."
Dev:"I don't know, it confused me. Once I figured out the JSON problem and wrote unit tests, I really started to make progress. I used a tuple for this ... functional parameters for that...added a custom event for ... Took me a few weeks, but it's all covered by unit tests."
Me: "Wow. The way you explained the project was; get data from splunk and populate data in SQLServer. With the code I sent you, sounded like a 15 minute project."
Dev: "Oooh nooo...its waaay more complicated than that. I have this very complex splunk query, which I don't understand, and then I have to perform all this parsing, update a database...which I have no idea how it works. Its really...really complicated."
Me: "The splunk query returns what..4 fields...and DBA-Joe provided the upsert stored procedure..sounds like a 15 minute project."
Dev: "Maybe for you...we're all not super geniuses that crank out code. I hope to be at your level some day."
<frack you ... condescending a-hole ...you've got the same seniority here as I do>
Me: "No seriously, the code I sent would have got you 90% done. Write your deserializer for those 4 fields, execute the stored procedure, and call it a day. I don't think the effort justifies the outcome. Isn't the data for a report they'll only run every few months?"
Dev: "Yea, but Mgr-Nick wanted unit tests and I have to follow orders. I tried to explain the situation, but you know how he is."
<fracking liar..Nick doesn't know the difference between a unit test and breathalyzer test. I know exactly what you told Nick>
Dev: "Thanks again for your help. Gotta get back to it. I put a due date of April for this project and time's running out."

APRIL?!! Good Lord he's going to drag this intern-level project for another month!

After he left, I dug around and found the splunk query, the upsert stored proc, and yep, in about 15 minutes I was done.

Guys...

DevRant logged in automatically on my new phone. I don't know how I feel about this.

Or maybe I've already forgotten.

Help. I'm getting old and senile.

When i said that i use Linux, 3/4 of the class stared at me like i have a mental problem.
Then i said that i use duckduckgo and they stared at me like i was really retarded.

The sad part is that i'm in computer science department and my colleagues have not any clue about anything else than microsoft/google.

That moment when you find yourself seriously arguing with your rubber duck about which approach to implement...

Oh dear, another Tuesday!
That means I'll probably get chewed out for something in front of the entire company. What for, you ask? The boss is inventive, so it could be anything.

Instead, I'm calling in sick and taking the day off. 😊

So, continuing with the story, I decided to quit today.

I'm not even a month there, and I'm running out of there in flames.

I've got 2 panic attacks in one week, I'm not sacrificing my mental health for some idiot's scam.

!rant

I've had two different old coworkers that liked to yell at their computers. The first was a grayed biker who always wore a spiked leather jacket and could never understand what you say the first time do to his massive concerts in his youth. He used to swear some of the worst obscenities and slam his keyboard. He was actually a really nice guy.

The second used to make up obscenities. Myself and another coworker would keep mental logs of the things he said. The best was "fuckbats", we had many long talks about what a "fuckbat" would be and it's general elusiveness. He was also a nice guy, really one of the nicest devs I've ever worked with, he just got really intense under pressure.

So today, our "senior tester" logged a bug because he "Viewed Page Source" on the web based report he's testing and the Year values are hard coded! So 2017 will have to added manually!
I burst out laughing so hard, all my colleagues think I'm having a mental breakdown.

Regular Person = Regular Person;
Regular Person + Google = Hackerman;

Why are people so lazy they can't google their problem before calling help desk?

I hate mental lazyness!

My teams current process is:

1) Asked by product to create “T-Shirt size” estimates, also known as a WAG (wild ass guess). The process is the mental equivalent of throwing darts while blindfolded, after being spun around in a circle and pointed in the wrong direction.

2) Product make firm commitments to upper management based off these. Ensuring them that all these features will make it out in Q2.

3) 4 days before Q2 starts, product ask engineering to figure out the real estimates based off no concrete information what so ever.

4) 4 Weeks into Q2, product provide the missing information.

5) Engineering inform product that the estimates are out by a factor of 1.5 - 3 times the original estimates.

6) Product sends angry email to upper management that through not fault of product, engineering are unable to meet the deadlines.

7) Everyone shout and complain until 1 week before Q3, then see point 1.

Following this process, you and your team can be just as delightful as me.

That’s the practiseSafeHex guarantee!

Jesus Christ. Dagger2's documentation has got to be the most convoluted shit I have ever laid my eyes on.

The sheer mental gymnastics I had to do to get through this one line at 2:30 am...

"Make it a bit more darker"
Me - "Okay"
"Ummm..a bit more lighter? Sorry, this is such a minor change,I figured it wouldn't need any documentation"
Me - "It's alright"
"Could you please make this text small, and reduce the opacity to 70%"
Me - *Rise in the levels of mental irritation, body's and blood's temperature*
"Oh and don't forget to add some tint to the background"
"Hey, sorry I forgot. We need to add another text below this image."
Me - Oh man oh man

3 weeks ago, at 33, I jumped ship from a dead end career as a technician and landed my first programming job at a startup. The pay is lower for now and I'm constantly feeling burnt out from learning so much so fast, but I haven't been this happy in years. Seeing light at the end of the tunnel can do wonders for your mental health.

Between plague and smoke, spending way too much time indoors. Localised co2 got pretty high in the office my husband and I share and opening the windows is dicey during giant spider season even before the wildfires.

So as a result, I'm starting a little indoor garden in each room. The succulent are going to be hydro, and the prayer and snake plant will get soil so I have some place to dump my coffee grinds other than the rose garden. In the next month or so we also want to set up some living moss panels to help control the nitrogen balance.

And of course, obligatory rpi sensor suite and irrigation is inbound as well. That'll be a shared project. 😸

Arch Linux is officially dead due to fanboys who always says “I use Arch Linux” everytime when they open mouth. It is considered as mental illness so they have to shut down.

A few months ago, I decided to let go some old clients with bad behavior and/or bad projects, since I noticed this was affecting my mental health (lowering my self esteem, make me feel depressed, anxious, etc).

I was exhausted of doing miracles in projects without git, build files, staging enviroments (yes... you can imagine), and receive all sort of curses when sudenly something stopped to work.

I set some requirements to work with any new project/client: 1) project needs to be under version control, 2) it must have staging enviroment, 3) I must work with build files.

As I still have contracts running, I'm communicating this to clients as soon as I finish my obligations.

Today, one of these clients told me they are leaving to work with another developer.

Reason: They said my new requirements are unreasonable and they prefer doing the old way.

Mental health > Xcode and iOS Development

TIL that TI has no goddamn chill

Texas Instruments released the TI-83+ calculator model in 1996. The Z80 was not at all stock and has the following features:

- 3 access levels (priveleged kernel, kernel, user)
- Locking Flash (R/O when locked for most pages, some pages protected and unreadable as well, only unlockable from protected Flash pages by reading a certain order of bits then setting a port)
- Locking hardware ports (lock state always the same as flash)
- Customizable execution whitelist range (via locked ports)
- Configurable hardware (Flash/RAM size changeable in software via locked ports, max RAM is 8MB which is fucking mental compared to the 64k in the thing)
- Userland virtualization (always-on)
- Reset on violation of security model
- Multithreading
- Software-overclockable CPU
- Hardware MD5 and cert handling

TI made a calculator in 1996 with security features PCs wouldn't see until like 2010 what the *actual* fuck

Oh boy.

I recently, I switched job for an open source company in Lyon, FR.

They had struggles to find me something to do (still has, tbh), so they sent me to a client of theirs, to help for a biiiiig project that's really old (created in 2001)

The thing was... Horrible. Lots of styles were set via JavaScript without condition, I found 3 different versions of jQuery, at one time they added Object oriented development in a context where they had HTML, JS, (inline) CSS and... PHP of course, inside of one PHP file. The architecture was more "uuuh these files in this directory will be about this functionality".

And it goes on forever. I told them that I hadn't the required level of PHP knowledge to have an excuse to get the fuck out of there, my company didn't like it but it was either that or my mental health.

What the fuck has one of my clients been up to?! Every request he makes he suggests we might want to do it via a function.

"We need to ensure this is password protected. Maybe wrap the calls in a function."

I wander if he goes into the bakery and says, "I need a loaf of bread---use flour."

All I can think of is that someone influential in his life is an FP zealot and he's latched onto this word.

But, I quite like FP. Maybe I'll refactor everything to static classes to meet the requirement.

Hope to Christ he doesn't find out about HTML, etc. "Maybe add a CSS rule."

@NickyBones I hope you get that PHD
@F1973 I hope you get that good position in a good company you deserve
@theabbie I hope you wake up one day and realize you’re a well-respected expert in your field
@Root I hope you... ah, already bought it
@lor-inc I hope that thing was just fatigue and not a mental illness

@SortOfTested? As one guy once said “@SortOfTested got everything figured out”.

Current mental state: cursing about Typescript in German.

!dev

So a colleage of mine died a little more then a month ago. His brother in law who also works at the company, and has known him for 20 something years (as long as he has worked for the company), had a really hard time dealing with that. My colleage was sick/hospitalized and in and out of coma for half a year+ so this was the apex of an emotional rollercoaster. When my colleage died he was not in a state to work. He actually went to a physisian and now he's seeing a shrink.

He took one week of to deal with everything, including his own mental well being, and you know what the human thing was my employers did. Subtract that week from his vacation days without telling him.

WOW, just fucking wow... I mean - yeah it's sort of legal to do that, but seriously

God damnit, I have this too often. Something works in my mind no matter how often I run through it again and again but I've got no clue how to test it for real which brings me into a "mental deadlock" state aaaand then I lose all my programming motivation at once.

Having this right now, fucking annoying.

The worst work culture I've experienced was at a local security company.
There was a reason why over 15 people come and go within 6 months (just 30 people work there):
The boss is a fucking psychopath and should be (mis)treated in a high-security mental health institution.
There has not been one sane day during the 90 days I had to work there.
A friend of mine still has to work there because he can't find anything else in his current situation...

When you set an alias for vi and completely forget about it

# alias vi=nano

God damn, I was so confused for a minute 🤦‍♂️

LONG RANT AHEAD! I'M SO UPSET!

Off topic I know, sorry. Needed to vent.

So, right now I am studying Maths / Physics at University, but before that I got a HNC qualification in Applied Sciences.

While I was at college we had a very nice maths lecturer. I won't mention her name but she was very good at what she did and she always had a laugh with us.

Today, I visited the college to say hello to everyone, only to find out that she'd been removed from the building just moments before I arrived because she had a literal mental breakdown. She couldn't take the stress from the students who refused to do the work.

It all started when she tried to get in the lift. Everyone at the college knows she is very claustrophobic and so when she gets in a lift, everyone has to get out. No big deal. Except this one girl in her class, who is especially ignorant, refused to move and it sent the lecturer, who had been on the edge of a breakdown for weeks, into a blind rage. She ran up to the student and threatened to fight her if she didn't move. Other lecturers ran out and separated the two, only for the lecturer to throw her entire box of teaching supplies down the hall, smashing it into a million bits. She then proceeded to smash her head against the wall and shout "doesn't it feel better when you hit your head against a wall?". She was immediately escorted off the premises. No ambulance called. No support. Nothing.

It's safe to say her career is ruined.
Her teaching permit will be revoked indefinitely.
She'll never teach again.
She's lucky if she doesn't get arrested.
She's still not getting the help she needs because noone can be bothered dealing with it.

And its all because she couldn't handle the stress of the class she was teaching. A class that went out of their way to be mean and deliberately not do the work, because they knew they would get away with it.

I also blame the college. They were warned several times that she wasn't coping and the behaviour of the students and they did nothing. Nada.

A lovely woman who was brilliant at her dream job has been rendered jobless and mentally unstable in minutes.

All for what?

This event in particular strikes a chord with me because I suffer from mental health issues also - mostly anxiety. And lately its been getting worse. Sometimes I feel like the world is passing me by and I have no idea what I'm doing and if I'm going to fail at life, but I have support. I have counsellors and therapists if I need them. She didn't.

Sometimes I hate this world.

Me: take care of yourself, people. Physical and mental health is more important than your work.
Also me: I stay up late to get everything done, wanting to prove myself. I try to please people, work longer than I know I should, and am watching out more for others than I do for myself.

Distro hopping is not good for health, mental health, physical health, any health.

Not caring about other people at university. Setting my own pace when it comes to learning had a huge impact on my mental health.

What the person said:
"It's a good closed source solution."

What I've heard:
"It's an unstable piece of crap, developers of which are so embarrassed by their senseless efforts, that they don't want to show it to anybody."

Mental reprogramming vide Mr Robot.

Worst thing about being a dev is being interrupted when your in the middle of a lot of mental juggling... "Where was I?... Dammit"

That complete mental block when you know where you want to be and you know where you are but you look at the code and it's like looking at alphabet soup 😞

Someone mentioned Holy C in another thread and I automatically knew they were referencing the language, based on C, and developed by Terry A Davis from Temple OS and Schizophrenic fame.

I legit felt sad for the man, he was obviously a very talented and smart programmer. You removed all the racial slurs, crazy dialogues and biblical stuff that was caused by his mental illness and you were left with a very brilliant and dedicated programmer.

While Hurd (kernel meant to replace Linux) will fucking never see the light of day after years in the making, Terry was able to generate: his own compiler for his own programming language, kernel, drivers, desktop environment, filesystem TODO by himself. I mean, fuck me dude, he even included games of his own design into the damned thing, using very advanced concepts that were present in flight simulators or doom like fps.

It just bothers me so much, the dude would have probably done amazing non-religious things if it were not for his illness.

If you like reading about this sort of thing, check him out, there are a couple of youtube videos by him. Don't be put off by the shit that he spews in some videos, remember, he was saying shit like that out of a very real mental illness.

Oh, and fuck Hurd

I rewrote my resume. It is getting shorter and shorter. Scary.

But I was thinking, that during interviews, I never get to ask the important questions. Like, I do need to ask a few things that are important for me. Those that are not written in their websites, and they will do their best to hide.

So I came up with a list of questions:

1. Do you pay for overtime work? what is the basis of pay? hours or work-module? how realistic are the work-modules?
2. Have you ever had issues with employees from minority groups?
3. How do you address employee's professional concerns? for example, about technological debt.
4. what's the policy for meeting and daily interruptions during brain-work? Are people ever forced to participate in meetings that could be summed up in emails? what's the company policy for initiating a meeting?
5. Who designs the software? Are the requirements always non-negotiable? do the direct developers have a say in design matters?
6. How close are job requirements (as advertised) to actual tasks I need to perform?
7. What's the company policy for motivating the employees?
8. How does the company deal with mental health issues? is it acceptable for people to take leaves due to mental health issues? Has anyone ever done it?
9. How does the company deal with individual needs for working methods and space? Specifically, how does that apply to meetings? Do you have company-wide meetings? How often are they? What's the impact on productivity? Can employees not participate? Do they have to have an excuse to not participate?
10. Do developers get to develop their skills during worktime often? Or is it a "do it in your own free time" kind of thing? Are there any resources available to those who want to develop their skills further? Is it included in the career planning and employee performance review?
11. Assume I work for your company for a year. What are the benefits I can potentially gain in a year from working here, aside from adding a line of work experience to my resume?
12. Does the company provide any form of free feminine hygiene products in the bathroom?

Any questions I should add?

Drupal 8, November 2015, colorized

Some people just don't get object orientated programming. What kind of mental Frankenstein object is that you've created? It's part customer, part calculator and part tractor!

I just deactivated my Instagram account and

My ....gOD..

It feels like i just came out of a prison... But invisible mental prison idk how to even explain this shit

I fkig swear social media is worse than CANCER

one of my kids has a sleep problem, night terrors.

she wakes up in the middle of the night and just screams and says nonsensical shit.

we live in an apartment and our understanding old pieces of shit neighbors have complained already in the past.

no matter what you do, she'll increase the intensity every minute. you can hug, you can sing, you can ignore, you can try to soothe. She'll still screamcry.

We also have a 8 month old that obviously reacts by crying.

So imagine that, you're there, calmly sleeping, well into your deep sleep, and suddenly a symphony of pain and suffering visits you, and destroys your emotions in a couple of minutes.

I'm not even fully conscious to adjust. It just strikes me really hard.

I think it's a 6 in the scale of mental pain for me.

Anyhow, other people have a higher threshold, this is my experience.

Fresh out of dropping out of uni with a real heaping of newly diagnosed depression.

Get job in the industry.

Absolute joke of a company, spiral even further.

Thus begins the saga of boom / bust and the universe / myself fucking me over just as things get good that has been the last 8 years of my life.

Maybe one day I’ll write properly about my experience of mental health, in industry, in welfare and in my family too.

Suffice it to say, anything that leads you to take a whole year out, as well as makes you question whether what you thought was your dream job is actually right for you - is, ultimately, the definition of burnout.

tl;dr - the last 8 years have been a fucking burnout episode.

Is it bad ive got a mental count down to when I'll reach 6969 ++?

I'm not planning on growing up any time soon so judge away lol

1. attach a debugger
2. create a set of breakpoints
3. perform an action in the UI
4. breakpoint is hit. F9 to jump to another breakpoint
5.
...
.......
...........
................
....................
nothing............
even more of nothing.....
......................................................
6. Kill the app. Restart. Repeat. Nothing again. Repeat it all ~5 times. Give up.
7. Go get some tea.
8. Come back with a cup of hot tea
9. the _next_ breakpoint is now hit (º . º)
10. F9 - yet another breakpoint is hit.

11. contemplate your own mental state, considering the #6

"Mental Health Day" and "Startup Company" are two opposing terms.

I hate React.js with a fucking passion. It sounds great on paper, but once your project gets any size. The mental recursive loops of passing data around is insane. Not to mention keeping consistency a cross metric shit ton of components. How do you manage it?

!rant
I personally feel that most social networks like Facebook are a source of depression for this generation. It's a known fact that "instant gratification", as we call it, it's slowly destroying the mental health of young minds. Do you think devRant is slowly becoming something like that? I see people only posting memes, popular jokes, or self-praising posts these days (no offence). I truly love devRant for what it is, and I don't want it to become another generic social media platform (even though it's within the developer community) :(

My life didnt go as smooth as i expected. Everything happened as expected, i knew what going to the uni requires, i knew everything...
But i didnt accounted for my mental health. Since forever i have thought that im lazy or something like that, that i can do everything i just have to do it. Oh how wrong was I. It went from my projects being frozen for a long time due to lack of motivation to neglecting important living activies. Even my health suffered a bit. Everytime i failed, even the simplest task no matter why i always felt even worse. Even the most basic tasks were unimportant for me. Even some minor tasks that i failed gave me huge guilt. Not to mention that my family wont help me with my mental health at all, (they cant see what is realy happening they always think im lazy) (but maybe they could fucking figure out that being sad liteary for years is bad). My contact with friends is limited, im always scared to go or more often scared to ask is they have time to meet because they are ALWAYS busy...
So that was my life, alone, against people who were demanding (and my mother who thought that her hard work was everything i needed, but no. Money, food and clean house isnt everything that human requires to propely function!). Now I have scheduled a meeting with the specialist, i hope the uni has better ones than the other ones i had. I hope he will help me and i will get out that life downwards spiral.

If I recognize someone by their username or remember their name.. it's usually a bad thing because they're on my mental blacklist for fucking up Production....

Ahh life in IT Ops...

I have had this job for 2 years - my first real job. It has been very very stressfull for the last 6 months and it feels like everything is falling apart in the company. It's a small work place with only 6 people in total.
A week ago my boss wanted a meeting and I got a feeling on what the subject may be. I was right about my thought. I was being fired because he feels like everything is falling apart mainly because of me. Though, I don't feel the same way, I think more it's the whole team that failed.
But the most weird part. I'm getting fired, I then have 3 months left, though, he says that I can in those 3 months show my value for the company, and if he thinks that I again have value, I can stay.

Who the hell fires an employee and right after says, you can stay if you prove your value? I don't really feel welcomed here anymore.

My motivation have drastically fallen the last week and I'm just sinking more and more. Maybe it's a good thing to get away and get a new job that values me and doesn't stress me the hell up.
I've been the only developer for over half the time here and I can feel that.
I just had to get out with this, so thanks for reading my small rant about my shitty life :)

Noticing a bug once or twice but not being able to reproduce it after that gives me anxiety. This job is detrimental to one's mental and physical health. Serious question. How to unfuck yourself?

The reality of mental illness is too much for some. Do something kind and reach out to someone who is struggling but not asking for help. If everyone just reaches out to one person a massive difference can be made.

When you have to postpone your own mental breakdown because you don't have the time for it.

OR FOR ANYTHING (1WEEK NO SHOWER)

Me: has continuous mental breakdowns and health issues because of stress@college
Mom: if you dont finish college you wont get a good job
Me (already earning more than my parents together): yeah u r right
Me: *continues college*

Can i just die

Ok dudes, theres something id like to get a bit of help with.

So lately ive always been struggeling with this constant fear of dying that makes me overthink everything.

Im not afraid of the pain or the experience of dying. Im afraid of the meaninglessness of my life before (the current one)

I know that we are just animals, yet i cannot get over this creeping feeling of the unknown

Had a mental breakdown a few days ago. Crying like it's the end of the world when computer stopped working. I was a Picasso drawing of the hysteria, basically.

My exams are getting near, I'm really not ready; yet this chick keeps asking me about ten euros I borrowed from her a year and something back when we were going to a club they asked me to go to with them... Given her persistence that I should wire her the money (no PayPal tho) I assume she's up to something super shady. Why does she need my account info for?

Anyways, being annoyed by only ten euros (in our currency, it's not much, btw. It's less than two bags of expensive chips, or 5 dozen of the cheapest eggs on the market) and not studying enough, there is also my work. I feel so incompetent that I may just resign. Like... I'm not smart enough for this project. 😢 And I'm aware of it.

Put that on the side with this uni's project, which is very "Urghhhhh" because of too many people working on the same project, some of who need to be sent back to kindergarten to learn how to cooperate with others.

And in the middle of all of that, I'm trying to stay as zen as possible until the next mental breakdown. 😑😑😐

Thank you for reading this rant.

Sometimes I wished people had a REST endpoint to query their (mental) status ....

Often when I struggle with a complex programming task or get stuck in a bug, this cube and a big cup of ☕ helps me to get back on track.
But when nasty legacy PHP code or WP templates hits the fan, only a mental institution can help...

Over the past couple of days I did nothing but focus on programming. Well, today I fell asleep while working, became semi-lucid and managed to access root directory of my brain and went into a folder called "dreams" and viewed my yesterday's dream.

That felt mental when I woke up. I wonder if it really was yesterday's dream or was it my dream thinking it's yesterday's dream? Can I reprogram myself? Damn. Does that mean I did a reverse Matrix?

I’m an admin of a Facebook page for a small business whose website I built (I don’t personally do anything on the page, I just have admin rights :p). The location is clearly listed on the page, you just have to scroll down a bit on Facebook to see it, just like on every other Facebook page. There is also a link to the website that contains the location. Yet, EVERY WEEK, we get at least one person who sends us a message on Facebook: “where are you located?” Somehow they managed to turn on a computer, sign into Facebook and open a conversation dialog... but to scroll down a bit or visit our website to see the full location is not within their mental capacity. WTF

Learned helplessness theory is the view that clinical depression and related mental illnesses may result from such real or perceived absence of control over the outcome of a situation.

^^^ This sums up my last year as a systems engineer perfectly

!rant

Hey all, I just wanted to spread some aware to mental health issues in this industry since I'm very close to burn out according to my psychiatrist.
I'm not even 25 years old, just worked 1 1/2 years full time and 3 years apprenticeship before that. So, I'm pretty young and "new" as a software developer.
Many projects got wrong horribly and fights with the clients felt as they were carried out on the back of the developers. Timings and specifications were communicated poorly, deadlines were undoable but no one listened.
I thought, this is normal. Now, after weeks of on-off-working because of reoccurring small illnesses, clearly caused by the permanently high stress levels, my psychiatrist, which I visited yesterday for the first time, was totally shocked. She was surprised, I could even handle it so long. That hit me quite a bit. I already expected it to be bad, but close to burn out... That came, I don't want to say unexpected, but quite unexpected.
It was really hard holding the tears back while telling her my story.
And now here I am. I'm currently on sick leave till the end of the year (then my employment at this company ends) and I feel bad for them, to leave them. I know, they could use my knowledge and abilities, but I shouldn't damage my mental health even more.
I will not work for the entire January. If my psychiatrist thinks, I shouldn't work in February as well, I will do so even though my plan was to work again.
I will not work full time again, since my brain seems to not be able to handle it. Maybe some time in the future.

This turned out to be way more sad than expected. I just wanna leave this here. Thanks for reading.

If you people are in such horrible situations, try to break out.

We are working from home & my manager keep asking me about progress every 10 minutes!

I have come to a the brink of mental breakdown. I have shut down my Skype and not answering calls and I have lied to the team that I am having internet problem just to get away from them.
Ever done that ?

Time: 0600 hrs.
Mental State: Almost falling asleep on my laptop

I get a call from my "random cousin" with whom I haven't spoken in a looooong time, and he says "Hey, Good Morning ! I can't connect to my WiFi from my Windows laptop running Windows 7. Can you help ?.."

That moment when you TRULY believe in the person who developed the "Network Diagnostics" utility on Windows and ask the "random cousin" who calls you up at 6 AM to try it...

And he sends you this screenshot after some time ...

And then you have to wake up and pinch yourself to see if you are in a dream...

Long sleepless day ahead...

Don't panic and break up your big problem into smaller problems and solve them in a logical cadence.

Also, when you go home at night...turn off man. If you take your work home with you, you will go mental.

My usual mental state

A friend and I in secondary school accidentally put a 5p in the disk tray, and it then started going mental.

The IT technician came and instantly said it was a virus. They ended up throwing the computer away...

If you have been a software developer for more than 10 years and still like your job you are either not really a software engineer or have mental health issues.

Writing coroutines for io_uring. Submissions aren't working (they go through but the operation never seems to complete). Just fixed a few segfaults because of error cases not destroying coroutine handles correctly. Been on this for two days, finding more and more things I need to do that unrelated to the task at hand. Don't have issue tracking set up yet because haven't had time. Mountain of things that need to get working just for a demo is only growing. Layered maps of data structures and code flow are in my head as I'm trying to mentally debug some of this. I'm focused, completely dead to the outside world.

Then I feel a small scratch on my cheek. Three hours of mental mapping and a deep stack of thought, vanishes into thin air in a single moment.

The trade-off is worth it though.

Junior, junior, junior. I'm like -junior. We want a junior with 3 years experience. How is someone supposed to get to the 3 years experience if there aren't any jobs accepting juniors will no professional experience. I can code, , albeit not professionally, that's why I want a job, to learn in a professional setting, but the junior jobs all want past experience.

Maybe one day. Maybe never. For now I'll just keep rolling on the grind in my shitty factory job. Moving boxes from one place to another with the toughest mental challenge being which way to stack said boxes.

I need a hobby or someone to yell at me until I take a break from working all day every day.

Then again if I had a home office I probably wouldn't need to put in 12 hours to get 6 hours of work done.

But I still need something to do besides work and family. And someone to kick my butt until I do it and relax.

!dev
I used to read.. A lot. Long and complicated stories, where the plot would only unveil itself after a long time. I used to dig myself into a book, learning about the writer's thoughts and mental image, reflecting on our differing viewpoints on the question at hand. I didn't expect action or beauty, merely thoughts which, by themselves, constitued a value to me.
But pulp and especially social media had lowered my attention span to the point that even reading through a short story without getting sidetracked takes a lot of effort. I still value what I used to value, the only thing that's changed is that I no longer have the patience and I feel discomfort due to the lack of sensations.
What do I do? Had anyone solved this problem before?

My biggest regret is the same as my best decision ever made.

The company I work for specializes in performing integrations and migrations that are supposed to be near impossible.

This means a documented api is a rare sight. We are generally happy if there even IS an (internal) api. Frequently we resort to front-end scraping, custom server side extensions and reverse-engineered clients.

When you’re in the correct mindset it’s an extreme rush to fix issues that cannot be fixed and help clients who have lost most hope. However, if your personal life is rough at the moment or you are not in a perfect mental state for a while it can be a really tough job.

Been here for 3+ years and counting. Love and hate have rarely been so close to each other.

Does anyone else get crippling fear anytime your boss wants a 1 on 1 meeting?

I always assume I'm getting fired and panic over it..even though so far that's never happened.

I know I'm gonna catch heat here but if you insist on using vim or emacs on any OS that is in GUI mode just know I think you are mental... I get it you have shortcuts but so do sublime, atom or vs code. Plus intellisense.

Don't get me wrong I started with vim and have a special place in my heart but I know people only use it to beat their chests.

And just so everyone knows a little about me:

Spaces>tabs
Vim>emacs>nano
Linux>windows>macOS
I hate JavaScript
And mtn dew is a better drink than coke or Pepsi.

I need some mental check up over here

When my friends ask me "What's your hobby?" then I would start saying: Well, nothing much just some programming.
Friend: Oh, programming! I see. So what language do you use?
Me: I use Python
Friend: Now I see why you like programming cause it's very easy right? I can write a Hello, World! Program in one line.
Me: Yeah! [but what I meant is you son of a motherf***in bi**h! It's not fu**ing easy. Just because it takes one line to type print("Hello, World!") doesn't mean it's fu**ing easy.]

When I say friends I mean classmates cause friends != classmates.

Life is fucking mental... Only programming keeps me chill and happy

Apparently I am a mental patient to my mom, who sits in front of the computer every day, doesn't have a social life and doesn't have a future.

That's all because I don't want to attend her friend's wedding :(

Fucking hate it when I'm tired as fuck but can't sleep because of mental restlessness.

... Like, when the fuck did the evolution come up with this shitshow? And why?

Currently on train, listening music and browsing devRant. Music stops for a while and all I can hear is a person <A> saying: I'm not able to use so shitty operating system. I look up and see iPhone on <A>'s hand. Next to <A> sits an Android user <B>.

Not trying to spread bias about anyone. Just drives me mad, that people are turning down anything unfimilar so easily. Or maybe person <B> is trying to force <A> to use Android. 😲️

Next up on Public Trasportation - Human Behaviour Observations and Analysis: Ackwardness and Mental Get-Away Methods.

WATCH WHAT YOU CLONE!!!
I spent 2 days of stack overflow, assistance, mental counselling, 5 stages of depression ... just to realize I had cloned half the project because of a stupid, useless, fucked up branch that had the balls to call itself MASTER!!!!! arrggg!!!!!

Looking for patients on LinkedIn ?

Qin Chen, a 38 year old facebook employee, recently committed suicide and facebook is trying really hard to hide this.

Apparently he was too stressed out at work and was trying hard to steer things his way, he almost succeeded, but then his manager backstabbed him and left him helpless.

Instead of promoting a better work culture and taking steps against such malpractices at workplace, facebook is trying to hide this incident.

Facebook has to realize that them behaving this way not only insults the departed and his family, but also raises a question that is the life of any of their current employees of any value to facebook, or do they just look at them like workforce and not humans?

Let us not be silent. It was Chen yesterday, it could be any one of us tomorrow.

I sometimes feel like some people's comments on devrant are enough for a mental health crisis diagnosis. I wonder, how can we diagnose people through text? And can, let's say, ML do any better.

I mean; let's say for example abusive behaviors. This may be an online community but that doesn't stop some from abusing others, right? But the only form of communication here is text, right? What if you could diagnose... Not even that. What if you could inform a mental health expert about a toxic behavior online? We do have a lot of "internet policing" but we have no "internet mental health help" for toxic behaviors and attempts to mitigate that. I don't mean banning people. I mean literally in simplest form tag a psychotherapist in the convo.

Just thinking. :)

Christmas Party (2016) SPOILER ALERT

you've been warned

mental discussion I had yesterday after watching Christmas Party:

Hacker me: "I wonder if is really this easy take down the internet connection of an entire city........... maybe I'll google it around and see"

Normal Person me: "Let me get this straight you're thinking to google 'how to take down city internet'? ARE YOU A FUCKING IDIOT???? DO YOU REALIZE IN WHICH KIND OF WORLD WE LIVE NOW? DO YOU REALLY WANT THE SECRET SERVICE OF 5 DIFFERENT COUNTRY TO KICK DOWN YOUR DOOR AT 5 IN THE MORNING???????"

1. take a web application working in somebody computer since 4 years with tons of features.
2. Believe that the application is the future and solve brilliantly a general market need.
3. multiply income of current only customer by 10: you are going to be rich.
3. start to install 2, 3 customers.
4. discover the application is shit. Doesn't solve well the problem. Functionalities are different for each customer
5. discover that customers are willing to pay 1/10th of the original customer
6. quickly reingeneer the application to a multitenant cloud application, because with 3 customers and different versions you are already in deep shit
7. keep giving away the application for free to flagship customers. With a lot of customisation developed for free.
8. reach 200 customers in 5 years and still no break even, but lot of debts
9. resort to financial tricks to keep the company going

Luckily money are not mine. They could be recovered.
Unluckily the time spent was mine. It couldn't be recovered
Hope that the application will finally crash so that I can move on to the next thing: retirement in a mental asylum

I just finished watching bandersnatch. God in the beginning I indentified so much with the main character.
Now I'm just concerned about my mental health.

Tomorrow starts my 5th semester at HSLU (Hochschule Luzern). Halfway done! Wish me mental strength🙄

Welp. My mental health is down the drain.

I don't want to talk to anyone about it, but I am well aware of the situation. I can't even bring myself to sleep on a proper time frame, and depression is crawling back like an abusive ex.

There. Complete failure. Where do I sign out for this life?

Footnote:This is not fishing for attention, more like ranting in the void. (or trying to) Apologies to the one who I should've probably talked to about this, but never did.

Client to Company :This is a complex 1 month approx task. We need this feature

Company forgets to tell employee developer about this.

Meanwhile Client to Company after one month.

Client to Company: We are just 1 week away from the deadline, what's the status of the work in progress.

Company to client : It's going well, we will get back to you on the day of demo.

Company to employee developer: We have this complex task, you need to complete it in 1 week.

Developer mental status gets fucked with over burdened hectic work which has to be completed in a week having no idea of fuck up by the company which already had the information of the task one month ago but just forgot to tell the developer.

I have been burnt out for over a year and a half now combined with mental health issues.

I was working an underpaying job, doing senior-dev work for a less than junior-dev pay, with an incompetent understaffed team. The work was so mundane and most of the clients were stupid. I hated work, my colleagues, and most of all I hated programming.

I finally quit the job and quit programming as well. I couldn't touch or see a terminal window without panicking. I've been spending my time binge watching series and movies.

Recently though, I've started picking up coding again. I've been blogging and doing some changes to my blog beside other light stuff.

This is the story of my first burnout and it's taken its toll on me. I hope it's the last one but who knows.

Damn i had to use windows yesterday, it was awful. I was coding for 3 hours without saving and the out of the blue, windows decided to not update because i have the mental capacity to press 3 buttons to schedule updates to 6am when i dont use my pc.

I don't want to hear about Java, JPA, JSP, Json or John ever again or i will have a mental breakdown

Think I like Dev rant so far

Long story short, I have to drop my studies for now bc serious mental health issues. I feel like a failure, but I mean, I actually attempted to.... well, I'm here to say it and not complete the phrase. I need to rebuild a lot. And I would really to make some friends are. I have no one to talk to.

Happiness, job satisfaction and mental stability.... we need that in the next patch

I wanna write code NOT TRYNNA FIND WHY ANACONDA HAS TAKEN OVER MY ENTIRE COMPUTER. I've spent the last day looking for answers. I'm now a full day behind with my project.
The mental breakdown is near.

Note to self:
Fifty shades of gray is not about CSS or any other subject you care about. Delete mental association so as not to react like Pavlov's dog every time you hear/see title mentioned in mass media.

Squirrel!

I really don't want to ask for likes... But my life has been getting shittier and shittier. Mental problems. Relationship problems. Coding problems.

A stress ball could really help.

One of the devs didn't show up to stand yesterday, remote or in person. Turns out he was in the hospital for seizures.

They asked me this morning to work Sunday and I said no. It's not worth the money and I'd rather have the weekend. I don't need to be prone to seizures to know that this level of work is deeply unhealthy.

I used to think decrappifying my own CSS was hard... trying to help someone else is a whole other monster.
PHP, JS all have some method to their madness but CSS: “oh you center aligned your heading? Well guess everything else needs to be pushed wherever the fuck I feel like on the page”

Passwords.. how do you guys manage yours? I'm one of those who often used the same semi weak password for nearly everything

I'm more than likely going to get a password manager but I have no idea which, do you use any?

Things I hate the most at the moment:
- PHP
- jQuery
- The person that coded this before me
- The fact that this person is swtiching from jQuery and native javascript over and over for no f*cking reason. Just why?
- My job
- My boss
- The big pile of sh*it that this code is (overall not just the screenshot), no separation of concern, logic code in the middle of the file, no proper slacing and indentation
- devRant no allowing me to put multiple images in one post, because the picture is just one of this whole mess, it's not even the worst part, you'd have nightmare if I showed it to you
- The mental breakdown I'm having

The past 4 days taught me a very important lesson,
Gentoo is neither good for my laptop, nor for my mental health.

Currently working in a virtual Linux machine running on a Windows host. The Linux VM is running i3 and I just locked the host for the umpteenth time because my dumbass pressed Win-L to switch one Window to the right...

Also, while typing out the tags, I got the tag-suggestion 'my password is as weak as my mental state' 😂

Fucking fuck sonarcloud and everything about it. Part of the build pipeline for us to deploy code is to ensure that 90% of the code is covered by a unit test. Great in theory, horrible in practice. You think you've written enough tests that actually add value and test a valid piece of functionality but NO, sonarcloud throws a fucking fit because you're at 89.888 then your branch is going nowhere. Because everyone else gets to this stage and writes just enough tests to get the coverage to 90.01% then it becomes a stand off of who will break first; the code coverage threshold or your mental state.

Today in innocent tech conversations that sound dirty because I am a child: "system shuts down on case penetration"

A few weeks ago, I was reassigned to another project. Ever since I have been in love with this new project. It has made me get my passion back for coding. I hadn't realized that I had lost it and how it had affected my mental health.

Reached top 5% of Samsung Health. Lets hope I can keep this whole month.

I hate all the hate, violence, and abuse in the world. I live somewhat close to one of the recent mass shootings and I’m fortunate to not have known anyone involved. But I wish we’d just stop trying to point fingers and actually do something about the mental health here. All the Racism, Sexism (on both sides), and mental health that goes unchecked genuinely makes me sad. And this bullshit with Walmart taking down any advertisements for “violent video games” but still selling guns is horse shit. Idc if you sell the guns but if you’re going to fuck over video games for nothing because they’re never the cause, then stop selling guns if you’re rolling off this bullshit logic.

I hope everyone is safe and doing okay.

Do you get filled with anxiety and mental anguish when asked for your availability for a technical interview, knowing you’ve spent all your time recently programming and not working on algorithms/data structures and so you’re terribly unprepared but have no idea what the acceptable amount of time to schedule out without seeming like you’re incompetent is?

No?

....me neither. (She says, lying)

I need a project. I am on holidays, I don't have a computer at hand and can only code small things on my phone, mainly in python... Sad thing is I don't have any idea what to code.

Give me your challenges (please), so I can keep mental health!

P.S: if anyone has a working way to use Node.js on Android, I'd be glad to take it :)

How do you guys cope with developer burn out?

Any suggestions for someone going through it because I no longer feel enthusiastic to work on work related or home projects.

I swear to God, Days i feel stupid i Look at my PM's code changes and laugh.

What kind of Fuck Tard creates an api call just to return JSON(true)

And to top it off I pulled the latest after his poisonous stench was added and gave me a broken build!

Serious! D ass clown put in a variable with the same name twice, does this buck not build before he commits?

Im starting to believe that this is a hidden camera show where they pulled a fucking mental patient out fking looney toon land and gave him a PM job in a tech company!

ok

i acquired a mental and physical burnout exhaustion so no alarm clock can wake me up anymore

anyone have a better idea what to do for alarm clock to wake me up between 5-7am ?

Why is it that if you are not able to remember every single detail about something you've heard, that you as a person are deemed worthless?

Everything you do and need in life is bound to your memory.
Can't remember a name?
That's rude.
Can't remember what a technology does?
You won't get that job.
Can't remember the topics you learned about in school?
You won't get that education.

I can't remember things, my mind is constantly drifting. This, together with my inability to articulate myself clearly, makes me a complete nobody.
I hope that someday I'm just able to do something creative and not have these issues. Until then I'll just try not to jump in front of a train.

I Fucking hate people!!!!!

Im not a nazi but i hate people.!

I hate every one! White， blqck， yellow， beige， purple and dont get me started on the orange ones!!!

I hate people woth physical disabilities， i hate people with mental disabilities， hell i hate people who hate disabilities.

I hate people.

I hate people who are isually good but only occasionnaly bad， i hate people who are bad， i also hate people who are nice bur dont know shit about coding.

I hate emos as well even if i sound like one.

I juse hate people and for that i hate myself....

Makes me want to listent to tayler swift no shit.

‪People who are shitting on a chrome browser for desktop because of security reasons, but using it on their phones - you are mental.

My GOTOs are:

- Check if focus on teamwork is emphasized. Does the company state themselves? Spend a day with the team if possible, see how they work together.

- What tools do they use? Sometimes this will hint you towards whether or not you will encounter a good environment or a jumbled mess.

- Is there organized communication? I know, sometimes there are too many meetings, but that is better than too vew. How often does the team meet, even if just for 10mins? How does management communicate with the team? What ways are provided to give feedback? Are suggestions to improve practices welcome?

I left my last company and joined my current one, where these things work out the way they should. While I liked both projects with respect to development, my mental state has improved dramatically in the new environment. Stress is down, productivity is up. I love my job.

Just realized I don't have a good social life outside home/college. Most of the time I spend time with my laptop and phone.
And at this moment am too afraid to socialize because my friends and family been doubting at my mental stability after seeing me talking to my PC.
Its been ages since I have played any games outside or hang around with friends. Sometimes I do hate the way I am now and want to ditch all these screens once and go gipsy around the world. Fml!!

My coWorker cried at her desk all day because of a post on Facebook. Apparently her aunt was trying was finding a new home for her grandma's dog.

(Don't Ask!)

Often times I have to share the burden of 'Dr. Phillin' her just so I can work done. I tell my other coWorker this so he knows her fragile mental state and I get this back in Slack.

I explain what im doing to someone else and ask the question "does that make sense or am i just being a twat?" most of my colleagues are honest enough to answer "you're being a twat because..." if im doing something mental

Rant!
Others: hey, can you do this?... //details scrapped
Me: (after thinking a while) yes.
Others: Perfect! Can it be done like 2 days ago?
My mental image: throws my laptop to he/her face while shouting if it's so easy you should fucking do it!

So today, i talked to my manager about my burnout and she offered the extra resources to help my project. And if nothing goes wrong, i’m going to take leave for 2 weeks by next week.

My advice, we are human and developer is special human. So, talked to your manager or boss about your problem, it’s their job to help you on this.

On last thing, i hope you guys pray for me and i hope i can be a better person once i comeback. 👌

Are we sure reading this isn't going to have an effect on my eyes..? Or in that fact, on my mental health??

Like does anyone think to themselves, "I wouldn't want to read that," and actually change it so the next person isn't going to want to do a table flip meme style and walk out the door?

At least add spaces between your lines so my eyes don't bleed out...

a lot of people claim video games cause violence. imo they do.

a lot of the arguments try to prove that because the majority of video game players aren't shooters isn't valid in my opinion, because, in tjis situation, even if 99.99% of gamers with access to a gun don't have a mads shooting, the 0.01% is enough.

add in a loneliness, a bad childhood, mental health issues, and being in a bad place at the time, i think it's possible.

now don't get me wrong - i don't believe video games should be banned or something, i'm just saying i believe it's feasible that video games could be a contributing factor in a mass shooter's choice to do unspeakable actions.

do you guys think i'm being naive or logical ?

Not just as a dev.. but as a person who does anything - getting over the mental block which keeps stopping you from taking up actual projects or completing them without abandoning them... the struggle is real... and I'm still struggling😅

The most powerful weapon an engineer can ever have, is his mind.

What happens when someone attacks the mind and their mind is the system with most power?

When you attack the central system with most power of any person, they become extremely vulnerable and defenseless.

What happens when the mental state of an engineer has been attacked and damaged?

How to focus with a damaged mind?

I paid $55 for a therapy app on the ios store with binaural waves sound programming and mind healing sounds.

It helps. But temporarily. When the attacker gets in sight, the mind becomes vulnerable again.

How to develop a strong mind that can not be disturbed by external real world triggers or attackers?

Ive been thinking for a few now that if like to begin a social program to get old people to play computer games.

They are often bored as fuck， cant move much and have no mental challenges.

I mean what else than video games could save the day?

Old homes with puzzles and missing pieces. Dementia neighbours. Ots a no brainer!

Plan my workday a day ahead. And plan it into as small steps as possible.

So that the next day I do not have to think about what to do. And that all steps are so small that I wont have much mental rejection for them.

I'm learning functional programming for the first time with Elm and I kinda like it, it's just so different from what I'm used and kinda refreshing. My brain is getting a bit twisted though... I'll probably need a few weeks/months to adjust the way I think about code, but I'm liking the mental exercise so far, loving those moments where stuff just "clicks".

Coding for me has been such a heartache and a relief at the same time. Having an outlet for my brain activities has improved my mental and emotional health significantly.

It also thought me a couple of valuable lessons:

1. With enough efford you can accomplish pretty much anything

2. You're not the only one struggling with issues, life or code related.

3. Moronic people can be found everywhere you look.

4. Patience is key to grow as a human being.

I was given 6 whole months to rewrite some old monolithic web app exactly 5 months ago today. Now I have to show my boss the progress I've made. How do I explain him that I wasted my time in this order:
1.- heavy procrastination
2.- try new frameworks to work with, pick one, start writing the app, regret and start over again using a different framework.
3.- devrant
4.- existencial crisis and self doubt.

Now all I have are a bunch of incomplete buggy modules and a mental breakdown.

If somebody underestimates your job as being a developer ask them if it would be easy for them to solve complex mathematical problems all day. Because that's basically the same mental strain as being a developer.

And I rambled on:
No one can understand other people's lives, we only make presumptions based on what we went through ourselves. If we dislike / don't understand somebody we should blame it on our own lack of experience instead of the person. Because most of the disturbances in society is caused by people not wanting to understand each other after all.

Joined small scale-up months ago. I literally want to punch one of my coworker. Constant mental harassement, self-declared lead, rude and impolite. That coworker is socially awkward in the baddest and meanest way.

Oh boi.

Founders seems to not give a crap even if they told me they want a flat hierarchy. They let that coworker off the hook.

Not even mentioning that culture of oppression and repression.

If you're late you must bring chocolate and they'll remind you 256 times a day. Oh boy, I'm not late... I just don't want to come in the office.

Also, the code is atrocious.

What seemed like a dream job at first turned out to be a nightmare. Never been bullied since I started working. Now, I have a bully and a nemesis.

Ooooh boy.

I think somewhere i read a quote from Gary Kasparov on his view on Chess.
He said that after certain point of mastering it, it becomes too much mental pain.
I think the same can be said about programming.
Devs really enjoy it, but sometimes, damn that Null pointer exception.

Best: Started working successfully, raised my self confidence, can finally see my future

Worst: Started feeling the effects of too much work on my mental and physical health (bad eyesight, back pain, weight...)

Dev rant needs to work more on their algos to show rants! Since I posted one bout php , every other rant I see is bout php now and I think I just shot in my feet with this rant 😂oh whatever.

I had to do a double take... Needless to say I can't sign in for shit, fucknows what mental finger dance I did on the shift key when signing up to these guys...

Also: forgotten password is "please type your email, if there's an account associated to this email address we'll fucking email it with password reset instructions"...

Fucking arsehole fucks, I just wanna pay my fucking energy bill.

Such glorious Wednesday...

#1: Friend needs me to keep her cats, hasn't called yet to give me keys (and she's leaving tonight).

#2: Got an e-mail from a job I applied, rejected cause I flunked the impromptu technical interview (with the usual pretty wording).

#3: Helping a friend with his dissertation code in Java. Just a marvellous spaghetti code with minimal semblance of a structure and a hodgepodge of various solutions found on the Internet. 2H 40M and still nothing... At least I have my stress ball to save me from mental breakdown...

Start an organization dedicated to building technology that helps people suffering from mental illness.

I also want to be able to work remotely while travelling and rock climbing.

What kind of facts should every person know? I mean in todays modern world some ppl live so deep with heads up their asses that they dont even know how many continents in the world there are.

And sadly it makes sense, who needs all that data in their head when the info is one google search away?

I myself cant retain facts of real world at all. Recently went to some quiz competition and felt stupid af.

On the other hand all these ppl who know a lot about world usually have shit retail jobs. So is knowing more facts than white collar professional some weird mental flex?

YouTube or Anime, I don't know which is worse for mental health

Crushing procrastination vs destructive seduction, pick your poison

Having a narcissist as a friend can depreciate your mental energy so much that you just want to scream "fuck off... nobody gives a fuck about you".
but you know doing that will scatter the little fantasy world they surround themselves with and open them to a harsh reality.
so for me, I just go with the flow

Today, my fellows not a rant, but a glimp of blissfully sent client from heaven. Doesn't complain at all. He is not a fuckin jerk, he just trusts my judgment both in code and looks. No one will ask me to adjust some petty thing for some obscure mental fixations! Join me in this party!

Stayed up coding all night to make sure things worked nicely. An hour before I left work yesterday, received 5 other never spoken off tasks.

none of the communication went directly by me, I just had to hear out the nonsense, but did a complete integration half a year ago

managed to do 3,8 of those task after working out and finishing the first set. became 5am.
might be because I went mental and have synced up 2repo's with idem dito codebase to be up to date to eachother (don't ask me why this is setup this way, I don't get half of their logic, hence why it doesn't work until I silently patch stuff out)

overslept by an hour.. yay me.

inb4 being fired
(no time for a capitalisation and spellcheck on this rant either, 9.30am now, tired af)

Can someone kick some fcking concentration and motivation into me.

I havent been able to work for 3 weeks and I missed 2 deadlines. I got tension headaches and everytime I try to work I'm hitting a mental block. Get your shit together so I can take a holiday. Thank you brain.

Ok a quick, short story time.
Might write longer one later.

Few months ago i asked my professor if i could do something to skip all those labs and lectures from "introduction to programming". He agreed, but i have to take tests as well and make a program showing that i can use all of C/C++ functions, syntax required by the subject. After few months I didnt managed to do ANY significant progress. That happens when i dont have any directions, i just get 10 000 000 ideas and 0 motivation to implement them (with that many ideas my mind becomes tangled as well). I can bet that im not the only guy who has a similar issue, but keep in mind my mental situation isnt that great; more about that in the next rant.

Rough start for a week. The coffee machine nearest to my office went broken and now I have to do serious analyzing when picking up coffee. If I miss my calculations, I'll have to engage in a conversation and coffee + conversation is usually a waste of perfectly good coffee.

All this brain work is reduced from my mental capacity I should be using for actual development work.

Evolution - give me a coffee gland! NOW!

I wish I had that self esteem a lot of my classmates posses.
I'm working for my prof, I've kinda made my very first step into the industry. Somewhere deep inside I know I'm talented and smart. However, every day I am worried that I'm not good enough and it will be noticed at the job soon.
Is that common thing in Dev community? Just want to know opinions

Yoga! Helps me to maintain a sound mental health. As a result analytical thinking becomes more enjoyable and less stressful.

Gmail > create new rule > Subject contains "Privacy Policy" > move to [Privacy Policy BS]

Hooray! I was going fucking mental from the daily Privacy Policy e-mails. Computaas help us.

My brain= processor
Your mouth= raw data
I only process the logic that comes out of your mouth and typecast it to my system's logic and try to fit you in one of my objects using a visitor pattern.if I need to create a new dynamic object , my system throws a "you are special" message.

It's truly wondrous how far R can propagate shit until it finally gives up.

Looking at the call stack it's been processing increasingly demented bollocks for nine function calls.

Even then it refused to give in. It now appears to be processing an infinite sequence.

I should kill it, but I feel inspired by its tenacity. "This must be crap, but I'll have a go anyway."

Beautiful. A lesson for us all in that.

Any people here who experienced derealization?

Just sharing it here because I think that devs (or other stressful desk jobs) are especially susceptible to it.

I’ve had the feeling that my perception of the world has been kinda „weird“ and unsharp for months but I always thought „I’m sure it’s because I drink too much. I’m sure it’s because I don’t eat healthy. I’m sure it’s because I don’t do sports. I’m sure it’s because I don’t sleep enough“ etc.

I knew about derealization but I always had the opinion that it’s one of those psycho diseases that are all made up.

When I started doing some research on it i learned what it actually is..
A „defense“ mechanism of the brain to protect the brain from shocks and stuff or just a mental disturbance and that it’s kind of a vicious circle once you actually notice it.
It’s only getting worse because you focus on it and check in on it if it’s still there..

Just a few days ago I started to ignore it and told myself „it’s fine, it’s a natural experience, just ignore it“. It changed things a lot..
I feel much better just because of the fact that I’m no longer afraid of it.

Enjoy your weekend, cheers!

Worst: lost my job due to the pandemic, and struggling to get interviews! Yes in spite of how well i did at my previous role (and please don’t give me crap about how they never would’ve laid me off if I was good, you’re just saying that to stroke your golden e-penis, you fucking reptilian scumbag) and with all that “experience” on my resume, I’m apparently not smart enough for these companies to even bother with. Yes if i kept failing tests a blind monkey would pass i would question my ability but that’s not the case. Yes my stack may be old but learning these newer tech stacks that recruiters love is a total cakewalk for me! They do so much cognitive lifting for you that I worry that if I don’t practice lower level stuff my mental capacity will diminish which is why I still solve leetcode problems lol.
Let’s not forget, I lost my dog this year too ☹️

So, after having my mental breakdown with the 500k LoC Zend Frameshit PHFuck 5.5 with 0 test project, for a whole year; and after moving to a better job, I now inherited a React/Node/GraphQL project with a shitty architecture. It's so shit technical debt can almost be payed with actual cash... or flesh, ass-for-arch.

However, line test coverage is over 90%, so I guess it is an improvement.

About 14 hours. From 10 AM to 12 PM.

It was a difficult problem on one of those algorithm practice websites, which I just couldn't let go of. I spent most of the time trying to micro-optimize and do the same (wrong) thing in different ways.

The next day, I managed to finish the problem in 2 hours using a different approach.

I learned a bunch of things from this:
- Algorithm analysis matters.
- If you spend too much time on a problem without taking longer breaks, you get stuck in a loop repeating the same mistakes.
- A fresh mind is significantly more productive and creative. Take a break, think about other things and let go of that mental baggage, you'll be surprised.

Go to compare two technologies. Ask google.
What do I get?

saashub
stackshare.io
slant.co/
g2.com/compare

Fuckign comparison sites, first 4-5 results, practically the whole damn first page.
And all their 'comparisons' are autogenerated masturbation or something keyed in by interns at yet another worth-fuck-all tech startup.

Googles search engine is fucking garbage too.
This is Advertising taken to the level of mental pollution.

Fucking assholes.

FUCK people that romanticize all nighters. I'm here stuck at 04am waiting for my colleagues to finish because you told us 3 days prior to release the most important features. Or you don't listen to the clients or you're just plain stupid. HOPE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD that the next place won't be like this.

(Sorry for the caps, having a mental breakdown here)

How do you tell your coworkers/colleagues/managers that you need to take a mental health day?

Are their any application or communities which deals with mental health problems?

Terrence Andrew Davis
He was an unbelievably talented guy. It is sad how his mental illness made him an outsider and imagine things which weren't there, or maybe we are the blinded ones and he saw what code truly could create...
He will always stay in my synapses as "the greatest programmer who has ever lived".

One of my friends just royally pissed me off by deciding to repeat some crap she heard on TV about suicide being very selfish. I have depression and she's just taken a huge shit on mental health I'm. She can be a stupid cow sometimes...

Whoever complains about Visual Studio has never once coded in Atmel Studio... They may look the same, but while one is used to program, the others only purpose in life is to give people a mental breakdown...

Finally got Stripe charges to work, then changed it to make subscriptions work in the Django app I was working on for Capstones. At least in theory. Works locally, but hasn’t been merged into our Production branch yet, so there could be something missing.

Still, super happy to have finally crossed it off my mental to-do list.

I adhere to the Socratic method. I don't like people in business who 'explain' things to others by stating "this is obvious" and "this is obvious" about various aspects of very business-specific rules.

No, it's not 'obvious', explain to me ad minutae how something works if you want to transfer your mental image to mine.