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Search - "mental"
My company bought me a new laptop. It has 2 512 GB SSDs.
Our IT set it up with windows 10.
ON BOTH SSD.
OM fucking G. How dump you have to be to install windows 10 two times in the same machine? What kind of mental illness is this?41
Overheard from a sales call (involving web templates):
Boss : How do you access code at home ?
Me : Well, Git is fairly accessible from anywhere with the right credentials at hand
Boss : What of you have virus in your system ? Can't the virus infect our NodeJS code ?
Since then, I haven't been able to get out of the mental comatose induced.4
Your mental stability closely matches that of Microsoft Windows. Especially that side when it gets this blue coloured screen with a sad emoticon.
As for your credibility and trustworthiness, I'd say you're at Facebook/Google/Microsoft level.15
Anyone who creates a Facebook Libra account and puts money in it and uses it to buy stuff/for transactions should have their fucking voting rights removed and be submitted to a mental health institution.
Just my personal opinion.27
Hey, wanna hear a disappointing stack?
- vanilla inline CSS
- shitty random legacy PHP
The author is NOT responsible nor liable for any injuries, mental health issues, sanitary problems, asexuality, crippling depression, triggered by this rant nor liable for any damaged walls, hurt animals or deaths.12
I'm logging my DevRant time as training ... I read all these dumb things that people do, and make mental notes so that I don't do the same thing. Best. Training. Ever.6
Working from home in 2020:
Both kids haven't interrupted me in an unusually long time.... That likely means they're up to no good.
On the other hand I'm getting a lot of coding done (bunch of fixes done / misc new tasks done).
So now I sort of do a little mental math to guess if the damage they might be doing is less than the value of me getting shit done for work....21
People don't consider your sickness until you are on a bed showing symptoms.
Mental sickness is never considered.18
Trying to design a company logo and all I keep ending up with is the pringles guy after he loses his job and has a mental break down in a forest...17
Was struggling with depression and stress for an extended period. So, naturally, I had more sickdays than average.
However, I was still managing to overperform on my goals, so when it came time to discuss salary I was hopeful.
Didn't get a raise, not even a pat on the back. My manager told me he couldn't justify giving me the raise I had earned simply because I had had too many sick days. So my actual performance didn't count. Everybody else got raises though.
On a previous occasion he told me that I had to 'Learn what it means to have a job' and get my priorities straight. I told him I already had very little social life so I could spend what little energy I had on work. I tried to explain to him how depression works and he assured me he understood.
Yeah, right. My colleague with back problems, who suddenly couldn't walk, didn't get that treatment.
Depression is real. I'm so glad they ended up firing me so I could work for a place that cares.8
DO YOU EVEN CARE ABOUT MENTAL HEALTH
FUCKING DICKSHIT THE WORLD DOESN'T NEED YOU, THE WORLD DOESN'T WANT YOU. YOU SHOULD HAVE SUFFOCATED STRANGLED BY YOUR MOM'S VAGINA. HOLY SHIT "Im sO HapPy tO LEarN prOgRAmmiNg" YOU ARE NOT FUCKING LEARNING ANYTHING IF YOU END UP WITH A 3000 LINES SINGLE FILE YOU ARE JUST SMASHING YOUR DEAD PARENTS ON THE KEYBOARD LITTLE SICK PIDGEON RAPER. FUCKING BACHELOR STUDENT OF MY ASS HANG YOURSELF.18
I'm convinced code addiction is a real problem and can lead to mental illness.
Dev: "Thanks for helping me with the splunk API. Already spent two weeks and was spinning my wheels."
Me: "I sent you the example over a month ago, I guess you could have used it to save time."
Dev: "I didn't understand it. I tried getting help from NetworkAdmin-Dan, SystemAdmin-Jake, they didn't understand what you sent me either."
Me: "I thought it was pretty simple. Pass it a query, get results back. That's it"
Dev: "The results were not in a standard JSON format. I was so confused."
Me: "Yea, it's sort-of JSON. Splunk streams the result as individual JSON records. You only have to deserialize each record into your object. I sent you the code sample."
Dev: "Your code didn't work. Dan and Jake were confused too. The data I have to process uses a very different result set. I guess I could have used it if you wrote the class more generically and had unit tests."
<oh frack...he's been going behind my back and telling people smack about my code again>
Me: "My code wouldn't have worked for you, because I'm serializing the objects I need and I do have unit tests, but they are only for the internal logic."
Dev:"I don't know, it confused me. Once I figured out the JSON problem and wrote unit tests, I really started to make progress. I used a tuple for this ... functional parameters for that...added a custom event for ... Took me a few weeks, but it's all covered by unit tests."
Me: "Wow. The way you explained the project was; get data from splunk and populate data in SQLServer. With the code I sent you, sounded like a 15 minute project."
Dev: "Oooh nooo...its waaay more complicated than that. I have this very complex splunk query, which I don't understand, and then I have to perform all this parsing, update a database...which I have no idea how it works. Its really...really complicated."
Me: "The splunk query returns what..4 fields...and DBA-Joe provided the upsert stored procedure..sounds like a 15 minute project."
Dev: "Maybe for you...we're all not super geniuses that crank out code. I hope to be at your level some day."
<frack you ... condescending a-hole ...you've got the same seniority here as I do>
Me: "No seriously, the code I sent would have got you 90% done. Write your deserializer for those 4 fields, execute the stored procedure, and call it a day. I don't think the effort justifies the outcome. Isn't the data for a report they'll only run every few months?"
Dev: "Yea, but Mgr-Nick wanted unit tests and I have to follow orders. I tried to explain the situation, but you know how he is."
<fracking liar..Nick doesn't know the difference between a unit test and breathalyzer test. I know exactly what you told Nick>
Dev: "Thanks again for your help. Gotta get back to it. I put a due date of April for this project and time's running out."
APRIL?!! Good Lord he's going to drag this intern-level project for another month!
After he left, I dug around and found the splunk query, the upsert stored proc, and yep, in about 15 minutes I was done.1
I called into work today and was completely honest with my boss. I needed a mental health day after a huge break down last night. He completely understood and asked if there was anything he could do and told me to take care of myself today.7
That moment when you find yourself seriously arguing with your rubber duck about which approach to implement...2
When i said that i use Linux, 3/4 of the class stared at me like i have a mental problem.
Then i said that i use duckduckgo and they stared at me like i was really retarded.
The sad part is that i'm in computer science department and my colleagues have not any clue about anything else than microsoft/google.11
Short but absolutely needed.
My time tracker shows I’ve had mental breakdowns for 29% of my tracked hours this month. I think it’s time to mail them some mistletoe taped to some manure.
(Yes, I’m searching for somewhere else. When I’m able.)15
So, continuing with the story, I decided to quit today.
I'm not even a month there, and I'm running out of there in flames.
I've got 2 panic attacks in one week, I'm not sacrificing my mental health for some idiot's scam.6
So today, our "senior tester" logged a bug because he "Viewed Page Source" on the web based report he's testing and the Year values are hard coded! So 2017 will have to added manually!
I burst out laughing so hard, all my colleagues think I'm having a mental breakdown.2
Jesus Christ. Dagger2's documentation has got to be the most convoluted shit I have ever laid my eyes on.
The sheer mental gymnastics I had to do to get through this one line at 2:30 am...11
3 weeks ago, at 33, I jumped ship from a dead end career as a technician and landed my first programming job at a startup. The pay is lower for now and I'm constantly feeling burnt out from learning so much so fast, but I haven't been this happy in years. Seeing light at the end of the tunnel can do wonders for your mental health.3
Regular Person = Regular Person;
Regular Person + Google = Hackerman;
Why are people so lazy they can't google their problem before calling help desk?
I hate mental lazyness!4
"Make it a bit more darker"
Me - "Okay"
"Ummm..a bit more lighter? Sorry, this is such a minor change,I figured it wouldn't need any documentation"
Me - "It's alright"
"Could you please make this text small, and reduce the opacity to 70%"
Me - *Rise in the levels of mental irritation, body's and blood's temperature*
"Oh and don't forget to add some tint to the background"
"Hey, sorry I forgot. We need to add another text below this image."
Me - Oh man oh man4
Between plague and smoke, spending way too much time indoors. Localised co2 got pretty high in the office my husband and I share and opening the windows is dicey during giant spider season even before the wildfires.
So as a result, I'm starting a little indoor garden in each room. The succulent are going to be hydro, and the prayer and snake plant will get soil so I have some place to dump my coffee grinds other than the rose garden. In the next month or so we also want to set up some living moss panels to help control the nitrogen balance.
And of course, obligatory rpi sensor suite and irrigation is inbound as well. That'll be a shared project. 😸48
Most jobs are shit. Find a place where you like your coworkers and development practices. Most other things are secondary to your mental well-being.9
What the fuck has one of my clients been up to?! Every request he makes he suggests we might want to do it via a function.
"We need to ensure this is password protected. Maybe wrap the calls in a function."
I wander if he goes into the bakery and says, "I need a loaf of bread---use flour."
All I can think of is that someone influential in his life is an FP zealot and he's latched onto this word.
But, I quite like FP. Maybe I'll refactor everything to static classes to meet the requirement.
Hope to Christ he doesn't find out about HTML, etc. "Maybe add a CSS rule."8
Arch Linux is officially dead due to fanboys who always says “I use Arch Linux” everytime when they open mouth. It is considered as mental illness so they have to shut down.10
@NickyBones I hope you get that PHD
@F1973 I hope you get that good position in a good company you deserve
@theabbie I hope you wake up one day and realize you’re a well-respected expert in your field
@Root I hope you... ah, already bought it
@lor-inc I hope that thing was just fatigue and not a mental illness
@SortOfTested? As one guy once said “@SortOfTested got everything figured out”.19
God damnit, I have this too often. Something works in my mind no matter how often I run through it again and again but I've got no clue how to test it for real which brings me into a "mental deadlock" state aaaand then I lose all my programming motivation at once.
Having this right now, fucking annoying.10
I hate React.js with a fucking passion. It sounds great on paper, but once your project gets any size. The mental recursive loops of passing data around is insane. Not to mention keeping consistency a cross metric shit ton of components. How do you manage it?29
The worst work culture I've experienced was at a local security company.
There was a reason why over 15 people come and go within 6 months (just 30 people work there):
The boss is a fucking psychopath and should be (mis)treated in a high-security mental health institution.
There has not been one sane day during the 90 days I had to work there.
A friend of mine still has to work there because he can't find anything else in his current situation...11
Remember the super duper company I applied for? (Last rant)
Well, I did their coding challenge. And after many years I had to do a metric crapton of C++. It's not a fun language. It's frustrating how human-unfriendly it is, and maybe one reason why I low-key like it.
Anyways, here's hoping that I didn't fuck up too much.
On a side note, I realized tensorflow actually has a cpp api. I think I'm gonna work with that in my next mental breakdown. 🧐7
You know what, fuck microshit to fuck town and back again.
What part of disabling "allow the computer to turn of this device to save power"
DO YOU NOT FUCKIJG UNDERSTAND!
MY FUCKING USB'S ARE GOING FUCKING MENTAL SWITCHING ON AND OFF LIKE A DRUNKEN HOBO YOU COCK FUCKS.
my week is a complete and utter shit of a week as it is, I don't need this bullshit on top of it too.
#Microsoft, fix your fucking shit already!4
Worst thing about being a dev is being interrupted when your in the middle of a lot of mental juggling... "Where was I?... Dammit"2
That complete mental block when you know where you want to be and you know where you are but you look at the code and it's like looking at alphabet soup 😞2
Just experienced a mental breakdown from studying for college exams. Today june 1 2021 i dropped out of college because nothing and nobody is worth more than my mental state6
Not caring about other people at university. Setting my own pace when it comes to learning had a huge impact on my mental health.1
What the person said:
"It's a good closed source solution."
What I've heard:
"It's an unstable piece of crap, developers of which are so embarrassed by their senseless efforts, that they don't want to show it to anybody."
Mental reprogramming vide Mr Robot.2
Some people just don't get object orientated programming. What kind of mental Frankenstein object is that you've created? It's part customer, part calculator and part tractor!2
I just deactivated my Instagram account and
It feels like i just came out of a prison... But invisible mental prison idk how to even explain this shit
I fkig swear social media is worse than CANCER25
Is it bad ive got a mental count down to when I'll reach 6969 ++?
I'm not planning on growing up any time soon so judge away lol3
1. attach a debugger
2. create a set of breakpoints
3. perform an action in the UI
4. breakpoint is hit. F9 to jump to another breakpoint
even more of nothing.....
6. Kill the app. Restart. Repeat. Nothing again. Repeat it all ~5 times. Give up.
7. Go get some tea.
8. Come back with a cup of hot tea
9. the _next_ breakpoint is now hit (º . º)
10. F9 - yet another breakpoint is hit.
11. contemplate your own mental state, considering the #69
Fresh out of dropping out of uni with a real heaping of newly diagnosed depression.
Get job in the industry.
Absolute joke of a company, spiral even further.
Thus begins the saga of boom / bust and the universe / myself fucking me over just as things get good that has been the last 8 years of my life.
Maybe one day I’ll write properly about my experience of mental health, in industry, in welfare and in my family too.
Suffice it to say, anything that leads you to take a whole year out, as well as makes you question whether what you thought was your dream job is actually right for you - is, ultimately, the definition of burnout.
tl;dr - the last 8 years have been a fucking burnout episode.1
I am Done! I am extremely burnt out and unhappy with my work. I have been doing this professionally for over 5 years now and much longer than that unprofessionally.
This new company I joined finally gave me the salary I always dreamt of but now I am extremely unhappy and depressed and anxious all the time. And I don't like the work I am doing. I don't like the team. I hate being isolated at home for over 2 years, working from home. I had a mental breakdown in the middle of the meeting the other day. And after that, I said. that's it. I am done. So, I gave the resignation letter. I don't know what I am gonna do. But I sure as hell can't do this shit any longer. But now, the fucking hr is making it even more difficult for me by not letting me leave without serving the notice period. I told her I am on fucking medication and I am having severe mental health issues. Now, she wants to see the medical certificate. Or I have to pay two months' salary. WTF? If I had that kind of money lying around, I wouldn't have slaved myself away at your shitty company, would I?
I went to my psychiatrist whom I have been seeing consulting for the last couple of years now. I asked for a medical certificate and he thinks it'll hamper my future career. So, he said I should get a certificate from a general physician. So, that's the world we live in then? You can't even speak the truth? And the way HR is behaving over the mail makes me feel like a total slave. I mean I am not at all fit for work these days, and it feels like, if she had her way, she would tie me down to a chair and ask me to push out code. what the fucking fuck. This is some fucked up industry and I think I am finally done with software development. But now, I don't have any idea what I am gonna do with my life or how am I gonna earn money. I am so burnt out and anxious that even the thought of working again gives me panic attacks. even working from home. What the fuck do I do?8
I’m about to quit this job, this customer don’t care about the people, they just want quick results and people available 24/7, this is taking my mental health, I think I’ll become a farmer instead.6
The reality of mental illness is too much for some. Do something kind and reach out to someone who is struggling but not asking for help. If everyone just reaches out to one person a massive difference can be made.1
I have had this job for 2 years - my first real job. It has been very very stressfull for the last 6 months and it feels like everything is falling apart in the company. It's a small work place with only 6 people in total.
A week ago my boss wanted a meeting and I got a feeling on what the subject may be. I was right about my thought. I was being fired because he feels like everything is falling apart mainly because of me. Though, I don't feel the same way, I think more it's the whole team that failed.
But the most weird part. I'm getting fired, I then have 3 months left, though, he says that I can in those 3 months show my value for the company, and if he thinks that I again have value, I can stay.
Who the hell fires an employee and right after says, you can stay if you prove your value? I don't really feel welcomed here anymore.
My motivation have drastically fallen the last week and I'm just sinking more and more. Maybe it's a good thing to get away and get a new job that values me and doesn't stress me the hell up.
I've been the only developer for over half the time here and I can feel that.
I just had to get out with this, so thanks for reading my small rant about my shitty life :)8
Noticing a bug once or twice but not being able to reproduce it after that gives me anxiety. This job is detrimental to one's mental and physical health. Serious question. How to unfuck yourself?4
Me: has continuous mental breakdowns and health issues because of stress@college
Mom: if you dont finish college you wont get a good job
Me (already earning more than my parents together): yeah u r right
Me: *continues college*
Can i just die14
If I recognize someone by their username or remember their name.. it's usually a bad thing because they're on my mental blacklist for fucking up Production....
Ahh life in IT Ops...3
Flexible working hours, Home Office, fair compensation, working on a greenfield product 🥰.
I was in a bad spot two years ago jobwise and I don't regret jumping the ship for a second.
I would never have guessed that flexible hours and WFH would be so beneficial to my mental health!
Not everything is perfect all the time, but it gets pretty damn close all things considered.3
Over the past couple of days I did nothing but focus on programming. Well, today I fell asleep while working, became semi-lucid and managed to access root directory of my brain and went into a folder called "dreams" and viewed my yesterday's dream.
That felt mental when I woke up. I wonder if it really was yesterday's dream or was it my dream thinking it's yesterday's dream? Can I reprogram myself? Damn. Does that mean I did a reverse Matrix?3
When you have to postpone your own mental breakdown because you don't have the time for it.
OR FOR ANYTHING (1WEEK NO SHOWER)5
We live in a world where WEAKNESS has become a virtue.
- I'm oppressed!
- My mental health!
- I need a helper!
- I'm sensitive!
- You're fatphobic!
- <INSERT SJW's IDENTITY term>
In today's world, you score more social points for describing yourself as weak & blaming 'oppressors' for your miserable life12
Often when I struggle with a complex programming task or get stuck in a bug, this cube and a big cup of ☕ helps me to get back on track.
But when nasty legacy PHP code or WP templates hits the fan, only a mental institution can help...4
Ok dudes, theres something id like to get a bit of help with.
So lately ive always been struggeling with this constant fear of dying that makes me overthink everything.
Im not afraid of the pain or the experience of dying. Im afraid of the meaninglessness of my life before (the current one)
I know that we are just animals, yet i cannot get over this creeping feeling of the unknown17
Learned helplessness theory is the view that clinical depression and related mental illnesses may result from such real or perceived absence of control over the outcome of a situation.
^^^ This sums up my last year as a systems engineer perfectly3
"Writing good code is a charity". ( - saves time, effort, mental-health, & career of next developer).5
Don't panic and break up your big problem into smaller problems and solve them in a logical cadence.
Also, when you go home at night...turn off man. If you take your work home with you, you will go mental.1
It really grinds my gears if colleagues from non-technical departments attempt to use technical terms but use them wrong. It might be gatekeeping but please, use a technical term if you are confident you are using it correctly. Otherwise use layman's words. Using technical terms incorrectly sends our brains down the wrong road and we have to make a mental U turn. And you sound like a masterhacker from a TV show or movie.7
We are working from home & my manager keep asking me about progress every 10 minutes!
I have come to a the brink of mental breakdown. I have shut down my Skype and not answering calls and I have lied to the team that I am having internet problem just to get away from them.
Ever done that ?23
Quit my job almost a year ago, not sure if I want the same job again. Still love coding but I think I have to look for something else in favour of my mental health.
Today I made some woodwork for charity and it felt great. But I can't get rid of the lil dev in my head:
- I wish I had some kind of VCS
- Someone must have done this before, why didn't he open source his work?
- Ain't there any lib for that?
Hey all, I just wanted to spread some aware to mental health issues in this industry since I'm very close to burn out according to my psychiatrist.
I'm not even 25 years old, just worked 1 1/2 years full time and 3 years apprenticeship before that. So, I'm pretty young and "new" as a software developer.
Many projects got wrong horribly and fights with the clients felt as they were carried out on the back of the developers. Timings and specifications were communicated poorly, deadlines were undoable but no one listened.
I thought, this is normal. Now, after weeks of on-off-working because of reoccurring small illnesses, clearly caused by the permanently high stress levels, my psychiatrist, which I visited yesterday for the first time, was totally shocked. She was surprised, I could even handle it so long. That hit me quite a bit. I already expected it to be bad, but close to burn out... That came, I don't want to say unexpected, but quite unexpected.
It was really hard holding the tears back while telling her my story.
And now here I am. I'm currently on sick leave till the end of the year (then my employment at this company ends) and I feel bad for them, to leave them. I know, they could use my knowledge and abilities, but I shouldn't damage my mental health even more.
I will not work for the entire January. If my psychiatrist thinks, I shouldn't work in February as well, I will do so even though my plan was to work again.
I will not work full time again, since my brain seems to not be able to handle it. Maybe some time in the future.
This turned out to be way more sad than expected. I just wanna leave this here. Thanks for reading.
If you people are in such horrible situations, try to break out.12
If you have been a software developer for more than 10 years and still like your job you are either not really a software engineer or have mental health issues.10
added a "Coke zero" to my order and the app asked to show my ID to the delivery to make sure I'm over 18.
Ordered a milkshake instead. More appropriate for my (mental) age.15
WATCH WHAT YOU CLONE!!!
I spent 2 days of stack overflow, assistance, mental counselling, 5 stages of depression ... just to realize I had cloned half the project because of a stupid, useless, fucked up branch that had the balls to call itself MASTER!!!!! arrggg!!!!!7
A friend and I in secondary school accidentally put a 5p in the disk tray, and it then started going mental.
The IT technician came and instantly said it was a virus. They ended up throwing the computer away...3
So I've got my first sort of proper gig. I'm tasked with writing...
A goddamn minecraft plugin in java.
Well, it's actually rather fun strangely enough. My ideas of payment were not declined but rather accepted, the other devs are nice and everything is going well for now.
Also: Do expect a mental breakdown post next week or so5
Apparently I am a mental patient to my mom, who sits in front of the computer every day, doesn't have a social life and doesn't have a future.
That's all because I don't want to attend her friend's wedding :(2
i dislike the people that dont take mental illnesses seriously. its a serious thing and they don’t think its a real thing because they havent been through it.3
Facebook is a giant piece of shit. Not only is their platform a massive contributor to mental illness, even their API's are fucking garbage. I'm trying to use their ads API and what it does is it hijacks the entire fucking request so you can't even extract data from the request after calling it. Fuck Facebook and everything they've ever "contributed" to society.5
Tomorrow starts my 5th semester at HSLU (Hochschule Luzern). Halfway done! Wish me mental strength🙄8
AI is the future, and it's a future I want to be part of.
This week was very stressful, beside my usual depression and personal issues, I've received a lot of difficult tasks at work, to do in a very short amount of time.
Things I never did, tecnologies I've never used, and for a potential client that is critical for the company at this period in time, and if we won't be able to satisfy their requests we could go bankrupt really soon.
A lot of responsibility, almost no time and a person not competent enough to do it (me), especially on a hurry.
I couldn't sleep in these days, I couldn't think peacefully, concentrate to find the best solutions. I had really bad thoughts.
I couldn't find any useful solution online, on stackoverflow, forums, etc. and I spent hours searching them.
For who knows me here on devRant, probably knows also that I tend to work with old legacy code and dead languages as VB6 and VB.NET.
So integrate "new fancy stuff" isn't that easy and there are no documentation and examples to relay on.
I had fear to even try to understand the documentation (for other languages) and try to write code for it… I was panicking.
With no more ideas, I've decided to try to ask ChatGPT for help.
In maybe 3 or 5 seconds it was able to generate the solution, in VB.NET, with comments and all the explanation needed to understand it and integrate it correctly in my software.
With a few other requests it was able to change it to make it fit better my scenarios.
It's truely unbelivable how the tecnology advanced in the last years, how a computer on the other side is able to reply to my questions with answers that I couldn't find anywhere, because they probably never existed for my case, in VB.NET especially.
ChatGPT made my day, and allowed me to end this stressful moment and give me time to relax and focus on more important personal stuff this weekend.5
Welp. My mental health is down the drain.
I don't want to talk to anyone about it, but I am well aware of the situation. I can't even bring myself to sleep on a proper time frame, and depression is crawling back like an abusive ex.
There. Complete failure. Where do I sign out for this life?
Footnote:This is not fishing for attention, more like ranting in the void. (or trying to) Apologies to the one who I should've probably talked to about this, but never did.27
Christmas Party (2016) SPOILER ALERT
you've been warned
mental discussion I had yesterday after watching Christmas Party:
Hacker me: "I wonder if is really this easy take down the internet connection of an entire city........... maybe I'll google it around and see"
Normal Person me: "Let me get this straight you're thinking to google 'how to take down city internet'? ARE YOU A FUCKING IDIOT???? DO YOU REALIZE IN WHICH KIND OF WORLD WE LIVE NOW? DO YOU REALLY WANT THE SECRET SERVICE OF 5 DIFFERENT COUNTRY TO KICK DOWN YOUR DOOR AT 5 IN THE MORNING???????"7
Does anyone else get crippling fear anytime your boss wants a 1 on 1 meeting?
I always assume I'm getting fired and panic over it..even though so far that's never happened.12
Damn i had to use windows yesterday, it was awful. I was coding for 3 hours without saving and the out of the blue, windows decided to not update because i have the mental capacity to press 3 buttons to schedule updates to 6am when i dont use my pc.5
I just finished watching bandersnatch. God in the beginning I indentified so much with the main character.
Now I'm just concerned about my mental health.5
I don't want to hear about Java, JPA, JSP, Json or John ever again or i will have a mental breakdown10
Note to self:
Fifty shades of gray is not about CSS or any other subject you care about. Delete mental association so as not to react like Pavlov's dog every time you hear/see title mentioned in mass media.
Not gonna lie I have toxic people in my life and I have caught myself in multiple situations where I behaved differently, did or did not do something just because they were near.
Whenever these people are gone it’s just the most beautiful thing to be able to relax (also in my mind).
It’s crazy what other people do with us and how we can exaggerate all these feelings and emotions. The best thing I can do is to get rid of this toxicity in my life and move on.
Anybody else or is it just me?1
Fucking hate it when I'm tired as fuck but can't sleep because of mental restlessness.
... Like, when the fuck did the evolution come up with this shitshow? And why?5
How are you guys taking care of mental health?
I feel down in dumps. Burnt out from previous job and life seems like a drag.
Any advice appreciated as I feel pretty isolated.20
I really don't want to ask for likes... But my life has been getting shittier and shittier. Mental problems. Relationship problems. Coding problems.
A stress ball could really help.1
The past 4 days taught me a very important lesson,
Gentoo is neither good for my laptop, nor for my mental health.3
I used to think decrappifying my own CSS was hard... trying to help someone else is a whole other monster.
PHP, JS all have some method to their madness but CSS: “oh you center aligned your heading? Well guess everything else needs to be pushed wherever the fuck I feel like on the page”
One of the devs didn't show up to stand yesterday, remote or in person. Turns out he was in the hospital for seizures.
They asked me this morning to work Sunday and I said no. It's not worth the money and I'd rather have the weekend. I don't need to be prone to seizures to know that this level of work is deeply unhealthy.1
I keep seeing the word “privileged” thrown around, and this one, I actually understand to be right.
But if you have a mental disease or another serious incurable condition, kick like 5000 points off your privilege scale.
Money and medication don’t always help. I’m ready to give a very, very thick stack of money to anyone who can actually cure what I have. I wish I could do it.10
Undoubtedly the most common mistake that devs do : Ignoring your personal health, be it mental or physical.
I almost went through a burnout before realising things need to change.
Changed my lifestyle upside down after that
- Switched from wfh to an office job
- I cycle 12kms a day now
- Got a standing desk for myself to be more active
- and have a journal where i literally dump everything off my brain2
Currently working in a virtual Linux machine running on a Windows host. The Linux VM is running i3 and I just locked the host for the umpteenth time because my dumbass pressed Win-L to switch one Window to the right...
Also, while typing out the tags, I got the tag-suggestion 'my password is as weak as my mental state' 😂
Long story short, I have to drop my studies for now bc serious mental health issues. I feel like a failure, but I mean, I actually attempted to.... well, I'm here to say it and not complete the phrase. I need to rebuild a lot. And I would really to make some friends are. I have no one to talk to.13
I sometimes feel like some people's comments on devrant are enough for a mental health crisis diagnosis. I wonder, how can we diagnose people through text? And can, let's say, ML do any better.
I mean; let's say for example abusive behaviors. This may be an online community but that doesn't stop some from abusing others, right? But the only form of communication here is text, right? What if you could diagnose... Not even that. What if you could inform a mental health expert about a toxic behavior online? We do have a lot of "internet policing" but we have no "internet mental health help" for toxic behaviors and attempts to mitigate that. I don't mean banning people. I mean literally in simplest form tag a psychotherapist in the convo.
Just thinking. :)13
I wanna write code NOT TRYNNA FIND WHY ANACONDA HAS TAKEN OVER MY ENTIRE COMPUTER. I've spent the last day looking for answers. I'm now a full day behind with my project.
The mental breakdown is near.7
A few weeks ago, I was reassigned to another project. Ever since I have been in love with this new project. It has made me get my passion back for coding. I hadn't realized that I had lost it and how it had affected my mental health.
I made a post how i experienced a mental breakdown yesterday, a total mental collapse from abnormal dose of studying for college. Here a new day and i still cannot function properly. I cant describe the feeling exactly but feels like my brain is fried by electric shock wave... Like some kind of mild passive aggressive depression of void and nothingness.
During mental breakdown it was so bad that i could not construct basic sentences and comminicate until sleeping for a few hours and resetting myself that way. Now i can but i still cant think or do the coding work. My brain just feels fried... If you never had a mental breakdown just imagine a burnout and then multiply that by 1 million
I dont know what to do
I need help10
Society would be a much better place if people had same level of emotional/mental self awareness as much as they have physical self awareness.18
Burnout hit me. I cant fucking function. I feel extreme tiredness. My brain cant think or work. In fact im feeling numbness in my brain! How can my brain become numb? Thats ridiculous! This has to be a mild burnout or some bullshit. Way too much excessive work and mental pressure. I need a break and this is gonna cost me at least 1 but full day of rest it seems7
Today in innocent tech conversations that sound dirty because I am a child: "system shuts down on case penetration"1
Do you get filled with anxiety and mental anguish when asked for your availability for a technical interview, knowing you’ve spent all your time recently programming and not working on algorithms/data structures and so you’re terribly unprepared but have no idea what the acceptable amount of time to schedule out without seeming like you’re incompetent is?
....me neither. (She says, lying)8
i acquired a mental and physical burnout exhaustion so no alarm clock can wake me up anymore
anyone have a better idea what to do for alarm clock to wake me up between 5-7am ?23
Why is it that if you are not able to remember every single detail about something you've heard, that you as a person are deemed worthless?
Everything you do and need in life is bound to your memory.
Can't remember a name?
Can't remember what a technology does?
You won't get that job.
Can't remember the topics you learned about in school?
You won't get that education.
I can't remember things, my mind is constantly drifting. This, together with my inability to articulate myself clearly, makes me a complete nobody.
I hope that someday I'm just able to do something creative and not have these issues. Until then I'll just try not to jump in front of a train.3
1. Fix climate change and the environment in general
2. End corporate coercion and social inequality
3. Cure all mental illnesses
Is that too much to ask for?29
I need a project. I am on holidays, I don't have a computer at hand and can only code small things on my phone, mainly in python... Sad thing is I don't have any idea what to code.
Give me your challenges (please), so I can keep mental health!
P.S: if anyone has a working way to use Node.js on Android, I'd be glad to take it :)13
How do you guys cope with developer burn out?
Any suggestions for someone going through it because I no longer feel enthusiastic to work on work related or home projects.14
Others: hey, can you do this?... //details scrapped
Me: (after thinking a while) yes.
Others: Perfect! Can it be done like 2 days ago?
My mental image: throws my laptop to he/her face while shouting if it's so easy you should fucking do it!1
People who are shitting on a chrome browser for desktop because of security reasons, but using it on their phones - you are mental.3
Are we sure reading this isn't going to have an effect on my eyes..? Or in that fact, on my mental health??
Like does anyone think to themselves, "I wouldn't want to read that," and actually change it so the next person isn't going to want to do a table flip meme style and walk out the door?
At least add spaces between your lines so my eyes don't bleed out...5
I hate all the hate, violence, and abuse in the world. I live somewhat close to one of the recent mass shootings and I’m fortunate to not have known anyone involved. But I wish we’d just stop trying to point fingers and actually do something about the mental health here. All the Racism, Sexism (on both sides), and mental health that goes unchecked genuinely makes me sad. And this bullshit with Walmart taking down any advertisements for “violent video games” but still selling guns is horse shit. Idc if you sell the guns but if you’re going to fuck over video games for nothing because they’re never the cause, then stop selling guns if you’re rolling off this bullshit logic.
I hope everyone is safe and doing okay.10
Not just as a dev.. but as a person who does anything - getting over the mental block which keeps stopping you from taking up actual projects or completing them without abandoning them... the struggle is real... and I'm still struggling😅1
My coWorker cried at her desk all day because of a post on Facebook. Apparently her aunt was trying was finding a new home for her grandma's dog.
Often times I have to share the burden of 'Dr. Phillin' her just so I can work done. I tell my other coWorker this so he knows her fragile mental state and I get this back in Slack.
So this one is interesting.
As I have mentioned on my site, I'd be one of the below:
3. Sound engineer
4. Musician or Artist of some kind
5. Travel guide
6. Museum curator
7. Or maybe own & run a Burger joint with Rock n' Roll playing all day
After spending much time in front of screen, I felt like would on field job be better for me, in terms of physical and mental well being?10
So today, i talked to my manager about my burnout and she offered the extra resources to help my project. And if nothing goes wrong, i’m going to take leave for 2 weeks by next week.
My advice, we are human and developer is special human. So, talked to your manager or boss about your problem, it’s their job to help you on this.
On last thing, i hope you guys pray for me and i hope i can be a better person once i comeback. 👌
I explain what im doing to someone else and ask the question "does that make sense or am i just being a twat?" most of my colleagues are honest enough to answer "you're being a twat because..." if im doing something mental
Coding for me has been such a heartache and a relief at the same time. Having an outlet for my brain activities has improved my mental and emotional health significantly.
It also thought me a couple of valuable lessons:
1. With enough efford you can accomplish pretty much anything
2. You're not the only one struggling with issues, life or code related.
3. Moronic people can be found everywhere you look.
4. Patience is key to grow as a human being.
Start an organization dedicated to building technology that helps people suffering from mental illness.
I also want to be able to work remotely while travelling and rock climbing.
Plan my workday a day ahead. And plan it into as small steps as possible.
So that the next day I do not have to think about what to do. And that all steps are so small that I wont have much mental rejection for them.
[this post is not a joke, it's about health, ladies might want to avoid reading it as it about defecating]
i did mindfulness during shitting and i think more people shud try this.
instead of just pooping without giving any attention to it or using phone while pooping, you can use your phone for guided meditation with apps like Trip, Calm, ...
While shitting I noticed small things like the water tap, I slowly rotated it; first the water came in drops(listen to it), then in a small stream, then a turbulent flow.
If your attention drifts away, gently observe that its a thought and let it pass.
focus on what is happening right now. Feel how your anus vibrates to fart, giving a tingling sensation.
focus on how the turd comes out of the anus, the way it expands your sphincter muscles and finally drops in the crapper.
Practice gratitude. I realised how lucky I'm to shit comfortably in solidarity, many people in the world don't even have such privilege.
I feel good that I've flush mechanism in my toilet and 24x7 water supply. The shitting time can be utilised in a very positive way like this.
Look at your shit and wonder this used to be food, and be grateful to your digestive system.19
Best: Started working successfully, raised my self confidence, can finally see my future
Worst: Started feeling the effects of too much work on my mental and physical health (bad eyesight, back pain, weight...)2
I had to do a double take... Needless to say I can't sign in for shit, fucknows what mental finger dance I did on the shift key when signing up to these guys...
Also: forgotten password is "please type your email, if there's an account associated to this email address we'll fucking email it with password reset instructions"...
Fucking arsehole fucks, I just wanna pay my fucking energy bill.
It's truly wondrous how far R can propagate shit until it finally gives up.
Looking at the call stack it's been processing increasingly demented bollocks for nine function calls.
Even then it refused to give in. It now appears to be processing an infinite sequence.
I should kill it, but I feel inspired by its tenacity. "This must be crap, but I'll have a go anyway."
Beautiful. A lesson for us all in that.
YouTube or Anime, I don't know which is worse for mental health
Crushing procrastination vs destructive seduction, pick your poison11
Starting a new project, and learning to work with a new robot. But I'm living in a state of anxiety, so I'm also in a state of mental paralysis rn. Why do I ruin the best things I get in life by just being an anxious mess? 😑12
How to manage when you start something good for you, start taking decisions for your good and people start spreading hate about you. It obviously will effects your mental health right?
How you guys manage it? I mean how?
Today I'm feeling of getting bullied and getting bullied again from the same person. I'm correct but can't show the correctness just because there's no proof I've in-hand.
I'm literally tired of people now!4
I think somewhere i read a quote from Gary Kasparov on his view on Chess.
He said that after certain point of mastering it, it becomes too much mental pain.
I think the same can be said about programming.
Devs really enjoy it, but sometimes, damn that Null pointer exception.1
I hate my brain.
Got a compliment, my brain automatically rejected it and judged it.
Then it started to judge the judgement. Then the judge^3.
Then go all the way to the recursion.
For the last few days my brain is making me lose focus on everything because of this.
And the most fucked up thing is, I am paranoid of my own brain, so I really judged my memories and shit. I think I am losing my mind, my uni doesn't have consulting for students either nor I have money.
Any advices from ppl who went to a psychologists will be appreciated. A lot.13
Can someone kick some fcking concentration and motivation into me.
I havent been able to work for 3 weeks and I missed 2 deadlines. I got tension headaches and everytime I try to work I'm hitting a mental block. Get your shit together so I can take a holiday. Thank you brain.7
Whoever designed how audio metadata is stored in gamemaker archives is now on my hitlist.
I think my comments on my parser sums up my mental state pretty well.
Dev rant needs to work more on their algos to show rants! Since I posted one bout php , every other rant I see is bout php now and I think I just shot in my feet with this rant 😂oh whatever.5
Today, my fellows not a rant, but a glimp of blissfully sent client from heaven. Doesn't complain at all. He is not a fuckin jerk, he just trusts my judgment both in code and looks. No one will ask me to adjust some petty thing for some obscure mental fixations! Join me in this party!4
I was struggling to write this rant (it's been a while since I've posted anything here) and was trying to put in enough details, but it was getting too long and heavy, so I thought I should try to keep it concise.
I get frequent headaches and feel physically and mentally exhausted all the time. Here's a little list of what I think lead to all this -
- Leading a team for the first time
- Not-so-great junior teammates
- Working with backend for the first time (doing it on top of my frontend work)
- Long working hours (unpaid overtime)
- Being underpaid (for all the things I now have to do)
So, I overworked myself (and still fell short in delivering my sprint goals) and after some time, considering all of the above things, I decided that the best course of action would be to give my notice and take a break for a month or two.
I talked to my boss about my struggles and my intention to leave, and after some discussion, he basically said that the difficult part of the project was over and things would get smoother from the next sprint, and so I should stay on and discuss on the matter again after the sprint. That sprint has passed now and I have still somewhat struggled to work each day with diminishing motivation.
I'm not sure if this is the right time to leave, and I just don't have enough energy to look for another job and go for interviews. So, I guess it is a bit of risk not having something lined up before I quit my (first ever) job, but I think I shouldn't have much difficulty finding something for myself.
At this moment, I don't know what to do, but maybe, if things continue to be dour, I may hand in my notice soon.8
I wish I had that self esteem a lot of my classmates posses.
I'm working for my prof, I've kinda made my very first step into the industry. Somewhere deep inside I know I'm talented and smart. However, every day I am worried that I'm not good enough and it will be noticed at the job soon.
Is that common thing in Dev community? Just want to know opinions7
Ive been thinking for a few now that if like to begin a social program to get old people to play computer games.
They are often bored as fuck， cant move much and have no mental challenges.
I mean what else than video games could save the day?
Old homes with puzzles and missing pieces. Dementia neighbours. Ots a no brainer!2
There are two weeks left until the PhD application results are published. But I'm having such awful nervous breakdowns. I don't even know, if it's anxiety or if I'm literally dying inside from something else. From an almost-heart-attack today when I got a trivial and unrelated bad-news email, to keep having weird dreams about things like end of the world and post-apocalyptic life, or being jumpy all the time.
... And it's not like it's life or death, I know that. I know that I can do other things if this doesn't stick. I know things will workout the way they should; I know all of those. But there's just something destroying my physical and mental health right now, and I don't even know if it's just the anxiety for the next big step in my career, or something else, or how I should deal with it.
... Anyways, amannoyed.7
My brain= processor
Your mouth= raw data
I only process the logic that comes out of your mouth and typecast it to my system's logic and try to fit you in one of my objects using a visitor pattern.if I need to create a new dynamic object , my system throws a "you are special" message.
Hear me out. Ive been trying to fix this flutter bug for... I lost the count of how many days or weeks it was, maybe even months. I now got to the point of having borderline mental breakdown. I am crying because i cant solve this bug and there is no one to help me. I am on my own. All by myself. And im crying.1
FUCK people that romanticize all nighters. I'm here stuck at 04am waiting for my colleagues to finish because you told us 3 days prior to release the most important features. Or you don't listen to the clients or you're just plain stupid. HOPE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD that the next place won't be like this.
(Sorry for the caps, having a mental breakdown here)2
I'm learning functional programming for the first time with Elm and I kinda like it, it's just so different from what I'm used and kinda refreshing. My brain is getting a bit twisted though... I'll probably need a few weeks/months to adjust the way I think about code, but I'm liking the mental exercise so far, loving those moments where stuff just "clicks".5
Yoga! Helps me to maintain a sound mental health. As a result analytical thinking becomes more enjoyable and less stressful.4
So, after having my mental breakdown with the 500k LoC Zend Frameshit PHFuck 5.5 with 0 test project, for a whole year; and after moving to a better job, I now inherited a React/Node/GraphQL project with a shitty architecture. It's so shit technical debt can almost be payed with actual cash... or flesh, ass-for-arch.
However, line test coverage is over 90%, so I guess it is an improvement.1
Im 24 and got 5 more exams left to graduate. I cant pass this. I was thinking to pause college till my 30s because i dont want to waste the rest of my 6 fucking years of 20s by studying for fucking EXAMS AND FUCKING COLLEGEEEEEEEEWKWOWOWOOWPFIKEJEBEABJWJDJJRJRJEIIEIEIEIWIOQOQOWOEJ
good idea or not cause my mental state is collapsing9
Have you guys ever hated your job but stuck around because the money was just too good? I keep hoping the grass will be greener eventually but I’m starting to think it’s not going to be.
Also I constantly say to myself that nothing is worth more than your mental health but then that pay check comes in and it keeps me going for another two weeks. Gah! I hate this6
Go to compare two technologies. Ask google.
What do I get?
Fuckign comparison sites, first 4-5 results, practically the whole damn first page.
And all their 'comparisons' are autogenerated masturbation or something keyed in by interns at yet another worth-fuck-all tech startup.
Googles search engine is fucking garbage too.
This is Advertising taken to the level of mental pollution.
Having a narcissist as a friend can depreciate your mental energy so much that you just want to scream "fuck off... nobody gives a fuck about you".
but you know doing that will scatter the little fantasy world they surround themselves with and open them to a harsh reality.
so for me, I just go with the flow6
Thoughts on Session as a secure messenger? It looks fine at a glance, especially not using PII like a phone number, but I haven’t delved into it — and honestly don’t have the mental energy to.
What’s everyone’s thoughts on it?8
After an extremely stressful exam period, I find myself logging in to the grading website and just looking at my results with almost erotic pleasure. A few times a day. I guess it's a form of mental masturbation.2
- participate in more exciting projects
- be more mindful about the time and mental resources I put in my projects
- find out what kind of dev I want to be
Finished && deployed a big release yesterday (like the main component, only changed in 4-5 times over the years).
You know the mental state of "ahh it's done"
I couldn't even savour it and theres needless work given to me just-because. It ain't urgent, it ain't high-priority, and IT'S A FRIDAY TODAY? :v
No wonder the smarter-than-me predecessors left this job. One can't even get a sense of satisfaction after putting that amount of thought and work.1
when I try to… ah, I don't care. Make it up yourself. I don't have the mental capacity to make a funny joke here.
After a wildly productive day yesterday, I've spent most of today staring at my screen, going down mental rabbit holes. Sod's law!
It's not helped by an accidental all-nighter last night - I'm too old for that shit these days1
Whoever complains about Visual Studio has never once coded in Atmel Studio... They may look the same, but while one is used to program, the others only purpose in life is to give people a mental breakdown...2
So I feel like looking up solutions for my code is cheating, so I try to do it on my own for hours. Nothing I try works and the solution is usually something really simple and I feel like I'm never going to understand..4
To be able to actually write useful tests BEFORE starting to code, which I guess is really asking for the ability to have a clear set of requirements and a complete mental model of the problem at hand3
Anyone else add increasingly snarky or desperate comments and console log messages when things aren't working right? My messages are like watching a coder's mental breakdown slowly progress.
Ever since i graduated from college my mental state has drastically improved. I am no longer suicidal and i have will to live. Although my life is still pathetic and unsuccessful at least now i have the freedom to do what i love -- which is to fucking code and not study bullshit trash subjects4
Finally got Stripe charges to work, then changed it to make subscriptions work in the Django app I was working on for Capstones. At least in theory. Works locally, but hasn’t been merged into our Production branch yet, so there could be something missing.
Still, super happy to have finally crossed it off my mental to-do list.
I adhere to the Socratic method. I don't like people in business who 'explain' things to others by stating "this is obvious" and "this is obvious" about various aspects of very business-specific rules.
No, it's not 'obvious', explain to me ad minutae how something works if you want to transfer your mental image to mine.3
Saw a boss scratch an employee's car and was later caught by the security cam but what will the employee do?
A. Resign and lose his job
B. Keep his job and ignore the event
Null: sue for mental and physiological stress; go on vac.2
One of my friends just royally pissed me off by deciding to repeat some crap she heard on TV about suicide being very selfish. I have depression and she's just taken a huge shit on mental health I'm. She can be a stupid cow sometimes...2
Years ago, I would go on forever with my personal projects. I got so much stuff done I almost couldn't believe it. Today, I just can't. My mental health the last 2 or so years has made me lose interest in everything and i can't even describe how much I hate it. What are you supposed to do when a recruiter asks you why you haven't done much the past 2 years? Say you had mental health problems? Sure they're not allowed to discriminate because of mental health concerns, but they do. I feel like I have to lie on the US disability form, no matter how minor the problem is for the company and little it affects my work ethic. But then, when I'm late more than most because I barely slept or couldn't will myself to get up in the morning, now i can't explain myself.
If anyone here does recruiting or interviewing, please realize that happy face we show at an interview is sometimes a mask for deeper problems we feel we can't admit because we won't be hired. I hate that terrible events made my already inbalanced neurotransmitters worse, but that doesn't mean I will be a worse employee. Please look at me for my skills and enthusiasm for software engineering. That one detail shouldn't be what makes you say no.1
I'm very consumed by the world affairs, events, politics, and news. It consumes a big part of my thoughts and mental energy. I really want to stop following and getting consumed by all of this. But, I also want to at least have an idea about what's happening. I truly believe that one should not be neutral and should do their due diligence to find and support the right cause and take a stance (even if by words). It's a difficult balance to achieve.9
for the life of me I cannot figure out in my mind how to structure this project I want to start, and jumping right into coding does not improve this mental block.
At work this Golang code base has a clean architecture, so easy to maintain and extend, and I'm unable to replicate it on my own project(s). It sucks to be an ignorant.2
How do you guys gets out of your mental funks??
I normally meditate or more recently use yoga. But i can't do those at all hours of the day.9
I enjoy watching her 3-second processing mental context switch gaze when I ask my girlfriend a question while she's on the phone scrollin' or chattin',
*goes to hardware store to purxhase some RAM*4
Dear CS students, and everyone in general
How do you deal with:
- Pressure (like having to turn in 5 homeworks and sometimes not having the time to do all of them right)
- The idea that you think you don't know shit at the end of course thinking you've done nothing but wasting time
- Severe depression from thinking that you're not studying right while looking at other people studying and doing better than you, and depression in general4
Rough start for a week. The coffee machine nearest to my office went broken and now I have to do serious analyzing when picking up coffee. If I miss my calculations, I'll have to engage in a conversation and coffee + conversation is usually a waste of perfectly good coffee.
All this brain work is reduced from my mental capacity I should be using for actual development work.
Evolution - give me a coffee gland! NOW!2
Turned in my two weeks... and im on lunch with the team and the boss.
Why did I do this, this is just awkward. 😥
Srsly, who the fuck using internet explorer or edge in 2018??? I wanna drink a coffee with them while talking about mental disorders.4
Fuck it, go ruin your own life, I don't deserve this shit.
I don't deserve getting treated like shit by my mother for financially helping her, in fact, bringing all the fucking money in this household to the table.
I don't deserve being gaslighted by some hypocrite who victimized or egos themself up to fit their narrative.
Just ruin your own day, but keep me out of it. I'm tired of playing mental support just to be shit on.2
I had a few products that I was working on, put myself really hard into those products, started a business and was ready to take a first round of investments when suddenly I lost my job in mid May because I had to take care of my mom that suffered a Stroke and since then I've been helping her.
This is driving me crazy because I'm engaged and had to use all of the money I was saving to pay my moms house and medical expenses; Now my fiancee is handling everything alone and not being able to help her and my mom, because I'm broke right now, is driving me crazy.
I only get crappy dev projects that put my mental health down. Don't really know what to do, I've been putting all my stress on my fiancee since last week and now she doesn't want to talk
I thought that even in this whole situation going on, I wasn't going to be so affected mentally and emotionally and honestly I don't know what to do nothing makes me feel better and start to think straight1
November is coming up. That means no mental illness month. Absolutely no front end or JS shit all month. Because it is going to be officially:
"No Nutjob November"
So keep your AOK ass to yourself in November!
(AOK, if you see this, we miss you!)5
Back at my game engine asset system and thought of a way to store images and recreate them in memory programatically rather than 'unpacking' them... Bu turned a 256kb image into 4MB... How the fuck does this keep happening?!?!
Ugh this shit is going to drive me fucking mental!11
Something we may encounter at somepoint in our careers. I've been reading a few articles after feeling some of the effects of this yet none seem to offer helpful solutions.
Has anyone got any advice or good tip that's helped them in the past?2
Terrence Andrew Davis
He was an unbelievably talented guy. It is sad how his mental illness made him an outsider and imagine things which weren't there, or maybe we are the blinded ones and he saw what code truly could create...
He will always stay in my synapses as "the greatest programmer who has ever lived".1
Did it ever happen to you that you were needed to map a mental and overly complex for no reason db schema to a simple json, and you hate yourself more every key you press because rewriting it more efficiently and simply is never an option?
How do you cope with managers and legacy code?
If it works does not necessarily mean that we should keep it, jesus christ.2
A whole day yo set up an ethereum node on a raspberry pi zero... No mining. No wallet. I'm loosing it, people.
How many of us here suffer from depression or any other mental illness? And how does it hinder you from living your normal life?8
I cant really contribute much to this wk because im mostly doing dev stuff in my free time.
But league and, well, strategy games in general taught me a lot about micromanaging stuff and thinking ahead. My advice is, if you wanna get better at most mental tasks, go download lol or grab a copy of cities or eu4 and play for half an hour every day.9
The funniest take from the 'don't quit a bad job' take is that of 'mental health'
Have you asked someone who has no job and financially stressed what toll it takes on their mental health?
I can bet which scenario causes more anguish.11
I think I am really passionate bout programming and want to build something innovative but I need a fellow programmer to do it with. I am ready to put any kinda work in!1
Been fighting with PDD (dysthymia) for about 7 years now, does any of you suffer from mental disorder (depression, anxiety, things like that) and has some advice to share?4
Have you guys ever seen another dev at you work just completely lose it? How do you cope with stress, rage, frustration at work? (other than DevRant) Stories, please.7
how many times did anyone come across a bug that you mentally try and regurgitate over and over to find an explanation for but just ended up saying : fuck it! ?
When my brain was overloaded and overwhelmed during rapid-cycling bipolar disorder, my life and my thoughts were a complete mess. Somehow, when I heard or imagined plurals of certain words, like "cans" or "cups", my brain painted pictures of a cute civilization of living soda cans. They fought oppression that came from us humans, but lacked mental capacity to do so. I felt really sorry for them and wanted to help. The more ordinary the word were, the more striking effect it had on me.
The rapid-cycling fashion of bipolar disorder is often triggered by unfit prescription medicines. This kind of disorder is among the most lethal mental disorders there are, with a huge percentage of patients committing suicide.
If you can't make sense of your thoughts, if your emotional responses seem inadequate or too strong, to the point when you can collapse crying after some random thought, stop whatever you're doing and seek help. Ask friends and family to find you a psychiatrist, as by the time you need help, you may lack mental capacity or emotional resource to find a doctor by yourself. To me, even the idea of leaving my bedroom and going somewhere was painful to think about.
If your thoughts appear to be "put into your brain" against your own will, if they make no sense, don't attempt to make sense of them. They are nothing but a random noise produced by overwhelmed synapses.
High school students today have the same anxiety levels of as insane asylum mental patients during the 1950's.
No wonder I feel like I'm going insane.
I got a job opportunity in another country and went there for a 3 weeks trail working, I've worked on two different projects, one was with a CMS called Contao and the other one on WordPress, I'm fluent on WordPress, I've been developing themes for more than three years now.
With Contao I started the learning curve and for 2 weeks I learned a lot of stuff.
Before coming back for Visa stuff and taking care for few documentes needed they asked me if I could still do some freelance stuff from my home country. I said yes and got invited to the GIT repo.
It's been a week now that I'm trying to understand how stuff work and everything that the senior dev wrote is way advanced from everything that I've ever worked.
I couldn't finish more then 5 minor tasks simple CSS and PHP logic and I'm feeling very embarrassed.
I just wrote to the senior dev and told him that I'm way behind with my coding skills and I'm seeing dreams with code that don't work.3
Why does github have a field in my profile setting where i can set my pronouns? She/her they/them Are you fucking retarded? How can such an intelligent service of github downgrade their intelligence to the level of those mentally ill people? I keep ignoring that mental illness bullshit but now im surprised that even intelligent people are taking it seriously. Anyone who thinks genders.amount > 2 returns true is a mentally sick person in my eyes. Why is this pronouns bullshit even being mainstreamed as normal? Heres my advice: instead of standardizing pronouns as normal, why not send those people to mental asylum hospital and give them some treatment since they desperately need it?11
Does anyone else make or play music to restart their brain after days/weeks of grinding? https://soundcloud.com/siegeacousti...2
So this is kinda hard to talk about but.. I finally got to a point in my career where I don't have a boss, work remote, make my own schedule etc.. problem is .. I am very low on productivity I feel like I'm working maybe 1/10th of my capacity and although Yea this may sound dream-like .. it gets old and I'm realizing that I used to excel at my last job for my boss.. I wanted to please him in every way for validation and acceptance..
Yea that's dysfunctional as fuck .. so basically how the hell do i use my own mind to drive my excellence? I'm so lost and don't really know how to find the motivation that people pleasing once brought me..
For some context as well, I have also done a lot of psychedelics over the past couple years and it has basically destroyed my ego .. "but that's a good thing" you say?
Well yes and no, I used to rely on my ego to drive me on my own in lieu of wanting acceptance and validation from my boss. So that was a bit unexpected, getting rid of my ego got rid of my dysfunctional drives to prove myself to others and seek acceptance..
Gahh I'm ranting :'D
TL;DR: how do you motivate yourself if you've traditionally found motivation through pleasing others???4
I've just realized that I am too damn annoyed when somebody touches my workspace without me knowing. It's not right to flip out that easy and probably it's about my current mental condition.
And the thing is I'm more annoyed due to knowing that. Ironic.2
My career plans? I'm going to a psychiatrist in two weeks and I hope I will get a long term sick leave due to mental health.11
What diseases or health problems do programmers commonly suffer from?
How do you take care of yourself? What mistakes you made?
Are computer glasses worth it?
What is the best investment you made for your health? e.g. ergonomic mouse or keyboard. How useful are these ergonomic gadgets?
I'm 26yrs. old. I've learnt the value of physical and mental health, so I'm starting to take care of it now.11
If you ever stop to think:
"Why does the world experience turmoil from time to time?"
You have to stop and realize that the Earth itself is bipolar.2
Me in Backend dev contract. Everything worked great because I translated simple themes and worked with modules.
Did some work as full stack to same agency as a favor. Mostly frontend work but ok.
Now being judged as a frontend despite my multiple protests of not being a frontend developer. Nor do I have any interest in improving my skills as one.
It's now affecting my mental health and physical health. Thinking about not renewing that contract.
"In 5 minutes" (actually 6:52)
Wastes a good 3 minutes on introduction and "start eclipse".
Just to prevent some mental acrobats on here: yes, the timestamp is at 1.04, that's because the rest wouldn't have shown the actual slide.
Next job I find has to be entertaining somewhat. I thought I could deal with boring work but I'm tired of it.I It's just so damn boring. I'm not even writing new code anymore, I'm just updating dependency versioning and restructuring tests. It's bumming me out seriously. The mental fatigue from struggling to keep my eyes open every day leaves me struggling to get out of bed in the morning.6
Here are some of the words that META beat during deliberation for the new brand:
Do you know any?3
I can't deal with this stress anymore
I really like working at this company but the stress is getting worse and worse, too many projects going on, deadlines creeping up, micro management through "agile" and many others.
Not sure what to do, I like the people, the projects themselves but I fucking hate the management!
I think I'm gonna have to leave, I might even need a couple months break just to regain my mental power before I get back to work.2
Im curious guys, what's everyone main core OS/Distro at the moment and why?
For me it's chrome OS, taken a little hiatus from programming as it's been dragging my mental state down a bit so I've been focusing on writing my book and what programming I am doing is just me learning ground up java script development. So all I really need are my google docs services and a good code editor.5
Those of you who were fortunate enough to solve their mental health problems and anger issues, remember: the word “mompreneur” doesn't exist. It never did. It's a hoax. It was just a bad dream all along.5
I ain't bragging here but help me.
I'm going through a breakup and other physical and mental anxieties.
But suggest me some good resources that can help me out cop up with programming i (python and js)
Every little suggestion will be appreciated .2
Does anyone else feel like their brains aren't working, like they cant focus on anything and this has been going on for more than a week now?
I know there are things to do. I have gone through huge pain created github issues for those things but my brain just seems to reject the idea that it can solve those issues. Just feels like playing a game or just killing time would be best!
Needless to say I hate it.
Happens/happening with others?2
- What's the mental image of a software developer in your country/region ?
- Is the shy nerd guy who doesn't talk to anybody?
- Why do you think is so?
- Was it your mental image when you started learning it ?10
So it’s promotion season in my org and once again I got passed up. Manager says “you’re right there just a little bit longer” but he’s been saying that for the better part of a year. I’ve consistently done the job not in my job description but the job of the position above me. Some of my senior engineers and staff engineers have told me personally that they are shocked that I haven’t been promoted yet. And I know I should be patient but hearing other people (albeit in different teams) get recognized when you work just as hard if not harder than they do, and you go to conferences and you volunteer to be on call and you lead meetings and when you’re one of the technical anchors of the team… I don’t know. I shouldn’t take it personally I get it but it’s a huge blow to my confidence and my mental health. I work hard and when I see news like this I work harder and get burned out and when I still see news like this it makes me work even harder and get even more burnt out until I reach a mental breaking point. Makes me feel like I’ll never be good enough.
What font size do you normally use for programming?
I've been using 12-14px for years, but I switched to 16px for the last couple of hours. Feels weird but I kinda like it.
Sure, you do lose some real estate but it feels like it's way easier for the eyes. Less physical strain == less mental strain, which in turn makes for higher quality code.
Also, selecting stuff is more satisfying, but that's probably just me since I'm weird ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
how do they liquefy and bottle mental focus? how is this ginger ale soda literally just liquid mental focus?2
TLDR: releasing mental pressure
How are you doing it guys, i was trying to find project where i could find out how it works, recently followed flask tutorial for blog, and checked out chat with flask-socketIO, but have overwhelming feeling like everything was already developed and Am so much behind ( like learning web in 2018 - what im doing here ) + like its not enough, all are spamming about how AI will take work also from coders
My respect to front-end developers. Since I do fullstack, The con is It takes slightly longer to perfect your front or back end skills since you technically have to put 50/50 your mental energy into it. The Pro however is the appreciation/understanding you get to walk away with for both jobs.
But you really need a certain "eye" to do front end, especially when you find inspiration but you don't want to just copy their shit. Sheesh2
I did know some people would negatively takes my honesty.
To be honest. I don't really like compliments. There's nothing in myself. I never expect any compliment. I'm hideous in fact. That's why I join devRant.
I feel comfortable when no one in sight.
But you know sometime, I feel that I want to tell what I feel. To anyone that don't know me in person (in regards to avoid getting messed up).
Is this a sign of mental disorder ?3
I'm so close to a mental breakdown.
If I had a penny for every second wasted by its loading spinner, I could already sip cocktails on my own yacht.4
die(eval("printf('Is PHP bad for your mental health and should you choose something simpler? %s',2000 == '2e3bf55c7e4dd7ef7bc5b1bf05fcf786' ? 'true' : 'false');"));2
Who else hates the mental asylum inspired Picasso “art” used by google and as seen in our devrant avatars? I think it’s one of the most hideous art styles there is. Why can’t we be kawaii isometric chibi characters or something.9
Accept objective reality as is. Be positive in your mental reality. But do not construct delusional reality which blurs between the two.11
Y’all wouldn’t happen to have some handy mental model for remembering how to iterate through input without being an idiot about it, would you?
Referring to problems like having to get all possible substrings from a given string, etc.
Wishful thinking on my part, probably, but I figure it doesn’t hurt to ask. <39
The final hour of mental torture among many of finding a complex solution to an otherwise simple problem in a React/Typescript project:5
Do you ever rush to your profile to read your recent comments because you suddenly think there's a chance you made a spelling mistake?1
1.) good exercise for brain
2.) like the abstraction
3.) like building things from mental constructs
How do u get out of this constant loop of mental anguish u get stuck in? What do u do when it's just too much for u and ure just too much for everyone else?12
Dear Sir/Ma'am, there's this research I've been doing. To find out the relationship between cyberbullying and mental health. Therefore I put a form of the survey below:
Letting my hateful spirit breathe some: I recently have remembered that no one called me during my 4 months of chemotherapy. Debating if I should cut off everyone I know previously because I know I can’t trust them anymore. If I can’t trust them with my life, why would I ever speak to them? Why would I ever care to see these idiots? What is preventing me from going to their homes and ending it for the mental anguish they have given me?2
How does it feel like coding for 5yrs straight, every weekday, any mental dissociation? Does the drive still remain the same 😅6
So the project I have been working on for the past 5 months was finally released yesterday with only very minor problems, this stemmed from both programming side, and users entering data incorrectly.
It has been a rather hectic 5 months. I've had to deal with crap like:
- clients not knowing their own products
- a project manager that didn't document anything (or at least everything into a Google Slides document)
- me writing both requirements AND specifications (I'm a dev, not a PM)
- developers not following said specifications (then having to rewrite all their work)
But the worst thing I think would be the lack of vision from everyone. Everyone sees it as a "project" that should be get it over and done with rather a product that has great potential.
So with the project winding down, and only very few things left to fix/implement. Over these 5 months I learned a lot about domain driven design, Laravel's core, AWS, and just how terrible people are at their jobs. I imagine if I worked with people who gave a damn, or who actually had skills, I probably wouldn't have had such a difficult project.
Right now I'm less stressed but now feel rather exhausted from it all. What kind of things do you to help with the exhaustion and/or slow down of pace?1
How does one find a remote job as a junior dev? Dealing with some mental issues that keeps me away from a normal physical workplace at the moment but really need to start earn some cash.. I dont need a massive salary, just enough to afford rent and food would be lovely.2
Think about the amount of mental effort spent by programmers trying to understand the fundamental difference between a program and an algorithm!🤯2
Guys, how frequent do you face distraction while working? Like while coding, I'm always distracted with my phone. I know i can just throw it far away, but I do this habit on browser as well by suddenly opening a new tab to browse fb, for example.
One way to get around this is by using Pomodoro technique. But that only works if I'm not reluctant to do so. Another one is by limiting tabs opened in firefox by using an addon.
ITT: How do you deal with distraction?1
My muscles are twitching out of nowhere. And it's taking a toll on my mental health.
I hate my life right now.7
Sharing WSDL documents with the outsourced team multiple times through the course of a project leading me to Google mental health services in their location.
After a year of this I'd willing to try electro shock therapy if it gave them peace from what I can only imagine is a confused nightmare of forgetfulness.
Reluctantly thinking of switching to a PM role so i could focus all my code-fu to my side projects!!
what do u guys think? i know most of us hate PMs, but they do get paid more for what i think is less work (mental focus wise).
a) No documentation. At least you know from the start where you are.
b) Light documentation. At least you might have an API reference or something
c) Badly translated but complex documentation. Had this when I worked for a car manufacturer. Docs were badly translated and actually gave you a dangerously wrong or opposite description of what things really did. It was mental!
I made an android game a while back based on mental math, memory and quick reactions. This is the first game I actually finished and published so I would love some feedback from people that actually know what they're doing. Made in Unity with C#.
1) Physically not tiring profession for the lazy and comfy seeking cursee.
(I didn't appreciate the importance of mental health when I was young)
2) Creating function and process; I like to give solutions.
(Design is also creating solutions but I am not good at any art related stuff)
3) That Zen feeling when you got in the zone.
I got to a point where I have a multi-level recursive promises within loops and my mental map is by far not enough to process this. I wish there were some visualisation tools for this - though I don't even know how it could look like. All I know is that at some point I'm returning a wrong promise and the recursion is not correctly handled.7
What’s your personal tick for getting that mental laser focus and hyper brain performance for that marathon coding and problem solving session ? ( food, music, supplements, coffee, redbull, some biohack )4
I'm trying out some stuff I read. I have rich domain models with private fields. In order to create EF core entities my domain models create snapshots with public properties.
So 3 models - domain, snapshot, entity.
Now I am thinking about introducing a fourth for the API.
This seems mental and that I have misunderstood something. Automapper might help clean this up.
Thoughts are not immune to the laws of physics. If your goal is to create some mental output, you need to expend some mental input.
Guys, i am having a tough time in work. So, i am sharing the story and questions here-
Initially, i was doing well with new projects and other existing projects where implemented new features.
But recently, i am assigned to a old project created by clients and some senior developer worked on it .
Ps: I was also assigned to this project 8 months earlier but was reassigned to other projects.
Now, Our senior developer who worked on it resigned because of the messy project and a lot of pressure from boss.
my colleague also resigned because of this.
Due to this, all this pressure thrown upon me. I am working on it relentlessly but i am soo burned out that i am actually feeling sick and constantly having headache.
And main thing is that the project has so many errors which iam getting during testing and i have to fix all of the error.
And yes they have documentation but shitty unreadable documentation . My manager also rebuking me why i dont remember things said to me 8 months earlier. (That time i just joined the company)
I don't know what will happen to me if i cant tackle this project.
And what should i do in such cases as my mental health is deteriorating day by day.3
Anybody who can too totally identify / has gone through similar physical and mental breakdowns like the core programmer in Netflix's "The billion dollar code" while realizing that the given code problem will not be solved on time in combination with huge financial pressure?4
here comes few inspirational ( or depressing depending on the POV ) tracks :
Listen to Pegboard Nerds - Hero (feat. Elizaveta) [Infected Mushroom Remix] by InfectedMushroom on #SoundCloud
Listen to Merkaba - Epic Life by Lipaz Saar on #SoundCloud
Listen to Balduin & Wolfgang Lohr feat. J Fitz - Magic Man by Wolfgang Lohr on #SoundCloud
Listen to Patrick Haize & Momentology - Souls Recognition by Momentology on #SoundCloud
and another just cool :
Listen to Merkaba - Mental Monkey Bars by Sell .. on #SoundCloud
enjoy ( or not ) either way enjoy the sunny day or moony night ( if u have such @ ur loc ) =]8
Great way to start a developer's day: Turn getting to the office a sudden problem with unexpected platform and services changes.
And only realizing after getting on the train. I had to pull up a mental map of the stations and connections. And guess the probability the right train was in service at the station...
I am doing an API for our training center to store the workouts of the athletes in relationship with the mental & physical load, as well as sleep and health.
How do you document your APIs?
BTW I am using laravel.1
I'm sure we all have those moments when we feel spacey, but there is fine line between thinking deeply and being under a strong hypnotic trance! I honestly believe there might be something wrong with me because usually when I start blanking out, it's like my mind falls into another universe that is far away from earth! I can not ( see / hear ) what is going on around me!!! I sometimes even forget where I'm at and what I'm doing... until someone tries to get my attention! NOW WAIT A MINUTE! HOLD UP!!! BEFORE YOU ASSUME ANYTHING, NO I DO NOT SMOKE OR DRINK. AND I DON'T DO DRUGS EITHER!!! I AM A CLEAN HEALTHY PERSON... I just can't seem to understand why I am so mentally outside of the box instead of inside...
If you wanted to conquer the world using ninja kittens, which positions of power would you occupy first?
I need advice on programming the mental conditioning algorithm.1
So… I’m on that fun side of autism spectrum where you’d swear I’m just an ass… and my entire fam/friend network has always picked the latter; so, proceed to read as you will, but I swear my ADD is largely manufactured by the misaligned mental connection of the “inspector and inspected”… to say, smart is as smart does… and I ain’t doin spit if you watchin(but then i know everyone watching 😂🤡)
Def _init_(self, name)
Clown.name = “me”
I heard about guy who wrote frotend and backend on js
Later he was taken to the mental hospital, but...
Lockdown has got me reading a lot of books. Books about business or startups are a lot faster for me to read. It’s like reading a story book and I’m done in a week. But reading technical books (like I’m currently reading SICP aka wizard book) is a lot more heavy duty mental work. Y’all got any pointers for me about this?2
I'm watching Seinfeld. I make mental comments like I'm one of the Seinfeld gang. Life has never been this beautiful.