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So @Linux suggested to make a face revealing rant!
This is the face behind @linuxxx! post yours BUT only if you're comfortable with it :).
413 -
Friend: What's your favorite language?
Me: Javascript.
Friend: But it isn't a programming language.
Me: *throws keyboard at her face*27 -
My face when a developer suggests to use Windows server instead of Linux for speed and security reasons
30 -
!Rant
The biggest face palm moment in my life..
A girl in my class came up with an app idea. She wanted to make an app using which we can transfer our battery charge using Bluetooth. We initially thought it was a joke, then she went out to defend herself saying "if we can transfer files why not charge? If you're in an emergency and your battery almost drains out, wouldn't you feel nice if your friend could quickly transfer you 30% charge?"
Liked it, then give me a ++ via Bluetooth...
😂😂😂20 -
Me: Oh I see were using a non-standard architecture on this app. I like this bit but what is this doing? never seen it before.
Him: Ah we use that to abstract the navigation layer.
Me: oh ok, interesting idea, but that means we need an extra file per screen + 1 per module. We also can't use this inbuilt control, which I really like, and we've to write a tonne of code to avoid that.
Him: Yeah we wanted to take a new approach to fix X, this is what we came up with. Were not 100% happy with it. Do you have any ideas?
**
Queue really long, multi-day architecture discussion. Lots of interesting points, neither side being precious or childish in anyway. Was honestly fantastic.
**
Me: So after researching your last email a bit, I think I found a happy middle ground. If we turn X into a singleton, we can store the state its generating inside itself. We can go back to using the in-built navigation control and have the data being fetched like Y. If you want to keep your dependency injection stuff, we can copy the Angular services approach and inject the singletons instead of all of these things. That means we can delete the entire layer Z.
Even with the app only having 25% of the screens, we could delete like 30+ files, and still have the architecture, at a high level, identical and textbook MVVM.
Him: singleton? no I don't like those, best off keeping it the way it is.
... are you fucking kidding me? You've reinvented probably 3 wheels, doubled the code in the app and forced us to take ownership of something the system handles ... but a singleton is a bad idea? ... based off no concrete evidence or facts, but a personal opinion.
... your face is a bad idea15 -
PM: Snapchat's face detection is really good, how can we improve ours?
Me: Well they spend $150M buying a company for that face detection tech...
PM: How can we improve ours?
Me: Buy snapchat?5 -
!rant
Was learning how to make Android wear watch faces... So I made one for devRant.
Will be uploaded to Playstore soon if I have your permission @dfox
20 -
if (someCondition) {
doSomething();
} else {
// THIS SHOULD NEVER HAPPEN
}
Saw this in our repo the other day, face palmed so hard that my face is now a palm.6 -
tl;dr stupid clients with their stupid requirements.
Client: (on Monday) hypothetically could you implement "A"?
Me: (on Monday) yeah I could do that by Friday, let me know if you want me to start it.
Client: (on Thursday) hey remember we talked about "A" well do "B" instead and I'll need it by Friday still.
Me: "B" is completely different than "A" and will take probably twice as long.
Client: but you told me you could do it by Friday.
Me: ............ I want to smash your face.4 -
aslkfjasf. i've spent 12 hours today (and lots more over the past two days) trying to reproduce a bug that my [sort of] coworker insists is present. I haven't seen any proof of it anywhere, let alone steps to reproduce it.
I've poured through the code, following all of its tangled noodles of madness from start to fuck-this-shit. I've read and reread the pile of demon excrement so many times i can still read the code when i close my eyes. so. not. kidding.
anyway, the coworker person is getting mad because i haven't fixed the bug after days, and haven't even reproduced it yet. This feature is already taking way too fucking long so I totally don't blame him. but urghh it's like trying to unwind a string someone tied into a tight little ball of knots because they were bored.
but i just figured out why I haven't been able to reproduce it.
the stupid fucking unreliable dipshit ex-"i'm a rockstar and my code rocks"-CTO buffoon (aka API Guy, aka the `a=b if a!=b`loody pointless waste of mixed spaces and tabs) that wrote the original APIs ... 'kay, i need to stop for breath.
The dumbfuck wrote the APIs (which I based the new ones on mostly wholesale because wtf messy?), but he never implemented a very fucking important feature for a specific merchant type. It works for literally every type except the (soon-to-be) most common one. and it just so happens that i need that very specific feature to reproduce this bug.
Why is that one specific merchant type handled so differently? No fucking idea.
But exactly how they're handled differently is why I'm so fking pissed off. It's his error checking. (Some) of his functions return different object types (hash, database object, string, nullable bool, ...) depending on what happened. like, when creating a new gift, it (eventually...) either returns a new Gift object or a string error basically saying "ahhh everything's broken again!" -- which is never displayed, compared against, or recorded anywhere, ofc. Here, the API expects a Hash. That particular function call *always* returns a Hash, no matter what happens in the myriad, twisting, and interwoven branches the code could take. So the check is completely pointless.
EXCEPT. if an object associated with another object associated with the passed object (yep) has a type of 8. in which case, one of the methods in the chain returns a PrintQueue that gets passed back up the call stack. implicitly, and nested three levels in. ofc.
And if the API doesn't get its precious Hash, it exclaims that the merchant itself is broken, and tells the user to contact support. despite, you know, the PrintQueue showing that everything worked perfectly. In fact, that merchant's printer will be happily printing away in the background.
All because type checking is this guy's preferred method of detecting errors. (Raise? what's that? OOP? Nah, let's do diverging splintered-monolithic with some Ruby objects thrown in.)
just.
what the crap.
people should keep their mental diarrhea away from their keyboards.
Anyway. the summary of this long-winded, exhaustion-fueled tirade is that our second-most-loved feature doesn't work on our second-most-common merchant type.
and ofc that was the type of merchant i've been testing on. for days. while having both a [semi] coworker and my boss growing increasingly angry at me for my lack of progress.
It's also a huge feature, and the boss doesn't understand that. (can't or won't, idk)
So.
yep.
that's been my week.
...... WHAT A FUCKING BUFFOON!3 -
Fingerprint sensor is insecure
-gf can open your phone when you are asleep
-same with chloroform, unconscious, then use fingers
-can cut your fingers if it leads to that.
Fine I agree....but how secure is the face ID ??
-all of the same points can be applied to it.28 -
It’s that time again. I should be sleeping and instead I’m on here delirious with toothache and the dread of the dentist later.
So have a face reveal thread.
39 -
Just happened at my internship:
Guy: hey could you come over here for a sec and look at this problem?
me: Sure! *walks to table*
guy: the FTP server isn't working. I added config files etc but nothing!!
me: *does some terminal stuff*
me: uhm.... the ftp server isn't installed......
guy: *poker face*
guy: *poker face*
guy: *poker face*
guy: *plz don't tell anyone face*
guy: could you pls install? *desperate look*3 -
When you get a client from real MOTHERFUCKING hell.
You just really FUCKING want to say this:
Scorched earth MOTHERFUCKER. I will massacre you. Now SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LET ME DO MY JOB.
First, take a big step back and literally, FUCK YOUR OWN FACE.
I will rain down an ungodly FUCKING firestorm upon you.
You're gonna have to call the FUCKING United Nations and get a FUCKING BINDING RESOLUTION to keep me from FUCKING destroying you.
I am talking SCORCHED EARTH MOTHERFUCKER.
I will MASSACRE you.
I WILL FUCK YOU UP!
But for your own sake you keep it at this:
Yes sir/ma'am :).7 -
The face you make when you're daughter takes your squishy ball and you're forced to make a devRant football instead.
8 -
WTF .... now there's a 3D coffee printer, and we can print our faces on it!!!!!
https://instagram.com/p/...
(pic related)
5 -
Noob: "Hey guyz! Im now a hacker! Look at this cool script"
Legit programmer: "oh wow! How does it work?"
Noob: "I have no idea. I found it on the internet "
LP: .........1 -
The whole family is going out of country tomorrow. You know what that means?
It means 24 hours coding and no one to disturb 😎1 -
I kid you not, one of my designer friends dipped his toes into coding, he ran into a problem...
Wondered why the following function wasn't returning a random number...
public Int getRandomNumber(){
return 4;
}
#facePalm #stickToDesigning7 -
MFW searching for a solution to an issue, I find a thread about it and the only response is:
“I don’t have this problem on my end.”
2 -
I think I do this face more often than I realize.. specially when non technical people start giving me suggestions.
8 -
When you search rbf on Google for radial basis function(for data mining) and it answers with 'R'esting 'B'itch 'F'ace!
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Sometimes, I wish to punch Bill Gates in the face for founding Microsoft which created Windows 10.
Fucking updates18 -
Skype meeting with bosses be in the middle of the night and I'm drunk as hell.
Uh oh. This sure is fun and troublesome.
How can I be of your help, sir? (Hick)
Sure! I can (belched loudly) do that!
I'd be glad to have your help!
Went to the loo to the point, it's my chance to vomit secretly. Now's the chance to remove the toxin (my head is aching)... and felt so sad when all my food is wasted.18 -
I can't believe people are willing to scan their faces, fingerprints, and retinas on their phones.
Such data is very sensitive as it can't be changed easily.
CCTV is now everywhere and everyone has his own scanner providing data for tracking people.
Am I too paranoid?6 -
So new PM is forcing everyone to use Google sheets as our main project management tool as it's free and does what she likes... Was so close to just quitting.
More rage: how the fudge does she think it's acceptable for every 'to-do' no matter how big or small needs to be recorded in a sheet with roughly 30 columns @#&#&£ work is going to grind to a halt whilst we fill it in. So many better tools to use! Oh it gets worse it's 1 sheet per a person so the longer you work there the bigger the sheet gets the more time you need to spend to find, record and even open the freaking document up.11 -
Finally!
I got my OpenCV facial recognition app working! It feels good to have finally completed this side project of mine after so long.
You can check out the code on my GitHub repo: https://github.com/abdullah-K/...4 -
So I'm feeling a lot better today than I did yesterday. This shit's finally starting to give me some peace.
In the middle of my (first) morning cup of coffee, feeling pretty good about life for once. So I figured..why not do a face reveal?
This picture was like 5 months ago, but the only difference in how I look now is my hair being a bit longer
15 -
3 weeks off work - complete.
1st day back - in progress
Shit storm flurry awaiting my arrival - bring it on!1 -
Dev rant logo has face sideways.
But I keep seeing people place their stickers so the face is upright.
Doesn't really matter, but my OCD is killing me. -
Nico Sell, white hat hacker activist (https://www.wickr.org) says she only appears in public in sunglasses, cuz it makes her face "ungoogable". What else could be done to avoid face recognition? 😎
6 -
has anyone seen Google's AI face-tree nightmare generator? (a joke from another thread)
They need to be stopped!
12 -
Hey guys, I have done a face reveal, but how about a .bash_profile reveal? I think this should be fun, am I right? I shall also include my desktop reveal in this, because why not?
9 -
After looking at @linuxxx and @AlexDeLarge 's rants with the face reveal, maybe we ought to do one of the team behind the masterpiece, @trogus and @dfox face reveal.
IF they are comfortable with it.
Or maybe do it on a special occasion. Like an anniversary or something?14 -
When you face the dilemma of wanting to share devRant with your friends but face giving up your anonymity....also, what if you forget you ranted about them and they find out? Hmmm.....4
-
Ugh. Trying to signup for UpWork and they need a professional picture of my face. I don't have a professional picture of anything, let alone my face. Ugh.3
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During my last days at my nightmare company, I asked the management how the replacement hunt for a developer was going over lunch.
COO: Great! We've received lots of applications. Lots of potential there. One guy was even a rocket scientist.
Me: So why does he want to be a web developer? Did the rocket factory around the corner not work out? Or did he realize Finland's main exports are Moomins and not rockets?5 -
Gosh, where went my social life? XD
That's already more than a month that I moved to Nice. I'm working a bit too much I guess. You know, I'm the kind of guy who is gonna rebuild the entire software architecture on his free time because it's crap x)
Anyway Nice is quite relaxing I like this place. And if someone is around and see my face, come and say hi :P
5 -
Your code sucks bro!!
It fucking sucks!!
Couldn't tell you face to face but I'll just keep what I want to tell you here.
It really sucks. You shouldn't be coding.
Get a farm.6 -
Software Bugs are like cats
Nowhere to be found when you want them, attacking your face when you don't. -
My coworker's face looking at the code with the greek question mark prank (https://www.devrant.io/rants/49335)
5 -
User: "My computer is broken!"
Me: "What seems to be the problem?"
User: "I can't go to any websites."
Me: "It appears our connection to the internet is down."
User: "No it's not, look" *points to Wi-Fi status*
Me:
3 -
I'm on this fair and there are suits walking almost everywhere!
Even in the "Tech" area.
Like 'a-bit-to-confident' ducks with their heads up in the cloud exposing their throat while walking right into my sharp blade. Inexorable stumbling headless right over the edge of the next bridge, hitting the rails with their rubies. Helpless, waiting to get caught by the next hype-train.
*sigh*17 -
TFW when you set your avatar face to be angry but then check AlexDeLarge’s profile to make sure you selected the /correct/ angry face, realize you didn’t, and change it5
-
HR: Do you work under pressure?
Me: Yes, but I swear very much.
HR: what?
Me: uh.. and sometimes I punch in the face, yes just in the face.1 -
!dev && !rant
So, all through high school I grew out my hair. The last time I cut it was actually my sophomore year, so 2017. I've been thinking about cutting it for a bit, maybe do a different hairstyle. Last night I was hanging out with a few coworkers, and I decided that I'm gonna shave my head, and let it all grow back. It'll probably take at least a couple years, but why the hell not?
Pic is me from like last January? I haven't even trimmed my hair since 2017 so I have bad ends now, and it's basically stopped growing. So the picture is kinda close to what it is now, just a bit longer (like a bit past my chest)
26 -
Creates PHP scripts for development SQL server, pushes to production to find out the schemas are different. *face palm*1
-
Freelancer/coworker: "Why don't you just use source tree instead of git in the command line?"... me: *face palm*3
-
Being a programmer is like being Nic Cage characters.
Some days you're kicking a bear in the gut, others you wanna rip your own face off1 -
When you get flown to another city for a face to face interview and lunch! Would you call it a good sign?14
-
HTMLCanvasElement.toDataURL() returns a data URI
HTMLCanvasElement.toBlob() doesnt return anything but instead requires a callback to handle the result.
Who the fuck is making these decisions?7 -
!rant
What are people thinking when they are building datepickers (or any type of angular/jQuery plugin for that matter)?
Lets put all of the code in one file, place everything that should be dynamic and optimizable in constants, provide no localization support, finish it all up, publish it to bower and npm (so poor devs won't have to struggle) and last but not least don't accept pull requests with useful features for months!
1 -
Shooting people in the face in Battlefield or Counterstrike.
No such thing as motivation loss there.3 -
https://thispersondoesnotexist.com
Made by nvidia,
Mega creepy, if I'm not mistaken: https://github.com/NVlabs/stylegan
Some are a bit cross eyed or have weird corner drops on the side of the mouth, but sleep drunk me is super impressed.3 -
I hate it because it is not properly visible from back and also why in this world you would do that...😒😒
8 -
Why use git, do it simple, send me your changes by email and I will merge it.
Why split split source code (js) into different files, use one so we will no have trouble about load order.
Use the same user account for github/gitlab/bitbucket/etc. So we will no worry to setup access permisions.
Use Dropbox/Drive for version control.
We will test the whole system until the end when all is finish.3 -
201, an intro programming course using Python2. Prof was funny. She was a Redditor and slipped the casual troll face or derp face or other rage comic character in her lecture slides.
-
When your customer calls you out and asks why "such and such" data wasn't copied over to the other two instances.
Then, thinking of course that it must be my fault: *research begins*
Reply to customer:
Your boss sent me an email that listed data points to *not* copy over, the item in question being one of them.
BAM!! ....developers: 1 customer: 02 -
Avoid face to face meetings, have con calls
Avoid con calls, have email chains
Avoid email chains, do one on one mails
Avoid mails, text
Ignore texts -
More and more of my friends and family are finding out I'm an Android Developer. I'm so sick of hearing, "Hey, I have a great idea for an app...". They all think you can build a good mobile app from scratch in a few days.2
-
The best way to debug a program is to boast about it to your family and friends...
It would throw an error in your face almost all the time...
*Feels like a slap on the face*2 -
When you've been without a clue for ages, life just isn't making sense anymore, and then you realise your IDE imported java.awt.List1
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This made my day, my c++ watch face got featured in the Nerd Pride category :D
https://facer.io/watchface/... -
I think I joined the wrong crowd. After the recent Hackathon, I proposed that the team that I was working with, form a company in which we continue building apps, launch and try to profit. Y'know, the whole build fast and die slow kind of thing. Granted, I proposed it late November and we're all gearing up for the holidays. Now its January and everyone has this mindset of "if we don't meet, we don't get anything done" or "discuss face to face only". Guess they don't like the idea of working remotely.
I think I might just quit this venture after a couple of meetings with them before I lose my mind.4 -
Not programming related but is related to devrant.
I recently deleted facebook from my phone, and just a few days ago I got my first ever facebook ad! (An ad advertising that I should download the Facebook app.)
If this is not representative of Facebook's slow and perhaps eventual demise, I don't know what is.
This is related to devrant because I deleted the facebook app because I enjoyed DevRant more. Oh and also I feel less stressed now that I've basically unplugged from that rotten social media platform.3 -
So android devs dont have a brain to just code the fucking game or app to just flip the screen upside down because its so hard to fap or play when there is a bloody earpiece jack on the bottom right of your phone.
-
Hollow Knight Silksoul! I'm gonna smash my face with anticipation!
Megathread over at r/hollowknight3 -
So had a plan to do a gamejam this week seeing I had nothing planned after work but nooooooooooooooo of course everything I could ever need to do decides it needs to be done this week -.-
It's what I get for being excited I guess :-( -
Has anyone else noticed NULL thing on Facebook marketplace? I mean for f* sake it's been there for at least a month now.
1 -
Suddenly, I've seen a lot of face revealing going on (tho most of em are older posts)...
I'm sitting there like: "ye... one can google my username once and see most about me..."1 -
A long time ago in a decision poorly made:
Past me: hmm we're having trouble getting IT to give us a new build machine with the new compilers.
Past me: I know we'll just use one of the PCs that belongs to a member of the team to tide us over.
[2 months pass]
Present me: that's odd, Jenkins is really slow today.
[Several minutes pass]
Present me: holly shit fuck; it's building the whole weekends worth of builds at 9am on a workday and eating licenses like a cast away that suddenly teleported to an all you can eat buffet.
Present me: [abort, abort, for the love of fuck abort]
Present me: contacts IT, they can't find any problems, wtf happened.
Present me: discovers team member turned off his machine on Friday and builds had been stacking up all weekend.
Lessons learnt: disable power button on team members pc and hire a tazer guy to shoot whenever someone goes near the wall socket.
1 hour lost and no build results for the last 3 days.
It's looking like a bad morning
-
Was thinking why don't we organize a giant devrant meet up online via video chat or somethong where everyone socializes and meet other users face to face3
-
I work for a tech company, centered on computer vision and video processing. I mean, we're not exactly the most Web centric company I grant you. That said I've just noticed a post on LinkedIn a couple of days ago celebrating our new start. The URL?
...
...
That starts http://localhost/ -
Last year my boss decided to outsource a project I did the year before to another company.
Now he wants my opinion on why this company estimates 10h to do an upgrade on a API interface I did on that project.
Like I remember details on what I did two years ago. And like I have any idea how this company is rigged to handle the project. -
Is it just me where does slack have some of the stupidest names for emojis imaginable? Slightly smiling face? What the fuck is that? I thought the point of emojis was to make digital communication less awkward.
And you're telling me everytime I type a :-) I'm only slightly fucking smiling?! Do you realize I already have enough trouble with communication as it is?! The devs that slack use their own product so much they've become social Hermits beyond the point we thought possible as developers.2 -
Just came across this on a forum while researching something:
"
Hello, sorry that I didn't check the TOS myself. I just had this thought and figured it'd be easier to parse for someone with the mental model already stored. I'm sorry if this is lazy, but promise I'll pay it forward.
"
As a dev, who frequently has to build FAQ's, Support forums, make sure T&C's get displayed again when changed etc etc. The above offends me to my very core.
So much so, I have been unable to continue researching, and now fixated on finding some way to make him regret his actions. -
Multiplayer cards game.
I designed one cards game and wish to test it with many players without the need to meet face to face.
Playtesting a game near real people is exhausting for me 😵 -
Why the hell do the Pixel 3 XL have a notch if it doesn't support Face unlock?
Meaning there could be other functions related but they are like face filters on snapchat and all. Face unlock is something would be used the most.
Really Google! U decided to keep the notch but no face unlock 🙄7 -
When did you see your project manager making that face the last time? Me, not that long time ago... :D
-
Fucking over night updates, and the fucking shitty piece of shit update software. Fucking shitty ass network that fucking disconnects you every 15 min. Not because it's supposed to. But because, just like fucking other thing it shits the fucking bed, everytime it has to actually fucking work. And fucking shitty windows, getting bsod(or some other error). I fucking hate updating.
Okay, angers out. So a little background story. The company I work at supports about 200 factories. So quite often we have updates that needs to be rolled out. Now the downside there is that we have to do it manually, on the other side it's usually not a big problem, because they get small incremental updates.
Which just means it's extra hours.
Now comes the reason for my rant. Let me introduce you to one of our customers. Let's call them fuck face Inc. So fuck face Inc here, has around 70 different factories that we support spread all over the world.
Now fucking face Inc here, is our biggest customer, so we can't really say no to them. Which leads me into the problems. 1. They have a closed network, so no one can get in. Now that in itself is not a problem, the problem is that we have to spend a fucking hour to get their piece of shit VPN to accept us. Now that is if the didn't block our accounts, I had to call my coworker on vacation, so he could give me his login, and authenticate it with his phone. 2. With every other customer, we have a max life span on our computers. So that after like 4 years I think, we tell them to buy a new computer from us. Now when it comes to fuck face Inc. That's not important, so half of the fucking time we have to update them, the 8 year old slow ass shit bsod halfway through. And we have to spend hours to fucking fix it. 3. And this one here is really the big problem. They only want an update to our program twice a year. Which means that whenever we have to update them it takes fucking hours for each factory on average 2 hours, depending on the amount of data. Which is why we have to roll out the updates during the night. And since it's such a huge update every single time, changes of it failing are fairly high. That is if the computers even have enough hard-drive space left to get the new version.
So I think that was enough back story, now to the reason why fuck face Inc. Had decided to royally fuck me in the ass. (not really 100% their fault) So I was updating through the night, looking forward to meeting 2 hours later. But no after it failing to update, not only once but fucking 3 times, after I fixed 3 different fucking problems. I gave up and started the restore procedure, where it decided to only restore one of the 4 databases. When I tried to restore them manually, the computer bsod. So now all I can do is go to bed, and wait for a phone call in about 4 hours from fuck face Inc. Yelling at me, telling me to get off my ass and fix it. Sorry for any grammatical errors, and other English related shit. To tired to really give shit. -
Artsy friend asked me to make a program to auto add images from folder and layout in refBoard.
Spend time figuring out how the author scales images and setting the XML up. Post wip online and someone asked why not use pureRef... Does all that stuff and more built in...
Thankfully only spent a few hours on it heh... -
Yum -y update
.........................
Reboot
.........................
CWP error 404 on all domains
Face palm3 -
I wonder, before with the touch id one needed your fingure to unlock your phone, so if you ware sleeping and someone touches your fingure you might wake up but with the new face id someone can just scane your face while you are sleeping for exempt your wife that you are cheating on... And can read your messages and other stuf, or ther people... I wonder if they did something to prevent that.4
-
In honor of https://devrant.io/rants/875346/... let is graphically show threaded race conditions:
0
1
2
36 -
When you're an apprentice web developer and your co-workers face palm when you ask the dumb questions1
-
So I have a MEAN app that is super simple just basic CRUD operations.
Everything works fine. Decide to extend it by bringing values over into fields on an Edit page. More work than I thought it would be but got it working, just passed values through an array in the URL. Pretty simple. So then I click save and it's broken. _id is apparently now undefined. Oh I posted it on the Javascript chat on SO and got nothing, instead everyone is talking about porn folders, a tweet, a random picture that looks like either a woman doing oral to a guy or a guy reading a book, and now Obamacare. FFS just answer my damn question >.< So I post it on SO itself and still crickets there. Worst part is I know its something simple I just don't know what it is because I'm still new to programming in general only been a few months in a bootcamp just learning the basics of MEAN stack (which I do like a lot tbh)
Man SO is so frustrating. -
Wrote little experience in Android Studio which i learned from youtube tutorial and didn't create any apps before, boss ask for assist in creating Android apps
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