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-
Excuse me boss!
During increment time
Boss : There are 50 bricks on an Plane. If u drop 1 outside. How many
are left?
Employee : That's easy, 49.
Boss : What are the three steps to put an elephant into a fridge?
Employee : Open the fridge. Put the elephant in. Close the fridge
Boss : What are the four steps to put a deer into the fridge?
Employee : Open the fridge. Take the elephant out. Put the deer in. Close the fridge.
Boss : It's lion's birthday, all animals are there except one, why?
Employee : Because the deer is in the fridge.
Boss : How does an old woman cross a swamp filled with crocodiles?
Employee : She crosses it because the crocodiles are at the lion's birthday
Boss : Last question. In the end the old lady still died. Why?
Employee : Er....I guess she drowned....err...
Boss : No! She was hit by the brick fallen from the Plane that's the problem, you are not focused on your job....You may leave now!!!
Moral: If your boss has decided to screw u, no matter How much u prepare u will be screwed.19 -
Screw Emojis!!
Client asks how many days will it take to implement feature XYZ.
I say 3 days. But Skype had other plans.
23 -
Boss: "I looked at a testing suite. It is $2,500 a license and I'm buying 60 licenses. You should probably get familiar with it."
LeadDev: "Um, we already use NUnit, and it's free."
Boss: "Hmm...I'd better add Pluralsight training in the budget so you can learn about the new program."
LeadDev: "Oh, no...we need new laptops more than we need software."
Boss:"New laptops? Not my budget. When we buy this new software, everyone is going to use it"
LeadDev: "Everyone? How will you monitor it's usage?"
Boss: "I'll have networking send me captures of all the running tasks on the dev machines. The test suite better be running. Writing good tests will be our #1 priority."
LeadDev: "Um, we already write tests using NUnit."
Boss: "I don't understand what you are saying. I need something I can visualize. This UI testing suite is exactly what I need."
LeadDev: "Maybe the testing suite would be better suited for you and QA?"
<click..click>
Boss: "Submitted the budget. There will be a test server available for you to configure. This whole project costs over $100,000, so don't screw it up. Any questions?"
LeadDev: "Oh...well...what server ..."
Boss: "Dang...sorry, I'm taking off the rest of the afternoon. We'll talk about this more on Monday. Get started on those Pluralsight videos. I'll expect a full training and deployments by next week. Have a great weekend!"13 -
Yesterday, in a meeting with project stakeholders and a dev was demoing his software when an un-handled exception occurred, causing the app to crash.
Dev: “Oh..that’s weird. Doesn’t do that on my machine. Better look at the log”
- Dev looks at the log and sees the exception was a divide by zero error.
Dev: “Ohhh…yea…the average price calculation, it’s a bug in the database.”
<I burst out laughing>
Me: “That’s funny.”
<Dev manager was not laughing>
DevMgr: “What’s funny about bugs in the database?”
Me: “Divide by zero exceptions are not an indication of a data error, it’s a bug in the code.”
Dev: “Uhh…how so? The price factor is zero, which comes from a table, so that’s a bug in the database”
Me: “Jim, will you have sales with a price factor of zero?”
StakeholderJim: “Yea, for add-on items that we’re not putting on sale. Hats, gloves, things like that.”
Dev: “Steve, did anyone tell you the factor could be zero?”
DBA-Steve: “Uh...no…just that the value couldn’t be null. You guys can put whatever you want.”
DevMgr: “So, how will you fix this bug?”
DBA-Steve: “Bug? …oh…um…I guess I could default the value to 1.”
Dev: “What if the user types in a zero? Can you switch it to a 1?”
Me: “Or you check the factor value before you try to divide. That will fix the exception and Steve won’t have to do anything.”
<awkward couple of seconds of silence>
DevMgr: “Lets wrap this up. Steve, go ahead and make the necessary database changes to make sure the factor is never zero.”
StakeholderJim: “That doesn’t sound right. Add-on items should never have a factor. A value of 1 could screw up the average.”
Dev: “Don’t worry, we’ll know the difference.”
<everyone seems happy and leaves the meeting>
I completely lost any sort of brain power to say anything after Dev said that. All the little voices kept saying were ‘WTF? WTF just happened? No really…W T F just happened!?’ over and over. I still have no idea on how to articulate to anyone with any sort of sense about what happened. Thanks DevRant for letting me rant.15 -
Dear dfox,
Thank you for not making your app completely change layouts and screw up scrolling whenever we turn on our sides when reading rants in bed, unlike nearly every mobile web browser out there. We all really appreciate it.
--Random devRanter12 -
Lawyer: "I heard you do websi..."
Me: "No."
Never, ever again will I do a website for anyone in the law profession. You can write the most airtight and amazing contract ever devised and they will find a way over, under, around, and through it to SCREW YOU UP THE ASS.11 -
PM: That screwdriver you built me is really nice. I like how it works with all screws and bolts, does the work itself, etc., but I simply can’t get it to paint, and I really need it to cut my sandwich. Can it cut my sandwich?
PM: Also, since you finished it, the neighbor’s can opener doesn’t work, my dog got fleas, and our screw supplier ran into shipping issues. Fix these ASAP!
Bonus:
Also, remember that hack I forced you to do despite you telling me it wouldn’t work? Yeah it isn’t working. You need to fix that too.20 -
Its that time of the morning again where I get nothing done and moan about the past ... thats right its practiseSafeHex's most incompetent co-worker!!!
Today I'd like to tell you the story of "i". Interesting about "I" is that he was actually a colleague of yesterdays nominee "G" (and was present at the "java interface" video call, and agreed with G!): https://devrant.com/rants/1152317/...
"I" was the spearhead of a project to end all projects in that company. It was suppose to be a cross-platform thing but ended up only working for iOS. It was actually quite similar to this: https://jasonette.com/ (so similar i'm convinced G / I were part of this but I can't find their github ID's in it).
To briefly explain the above + what they built ... this is the worst piece of shit you can imagine ... and thats a pretty strong statement looking back at the rest of this series so far!
"I" thought this would solve all of our problems of having to build similar-ish apps for multiple customers by letting us re-use more code / UI across apps. His main solution, was every developers favourite part of writing code. I mean how often do you sit back and say:
"God damn I wish more of this development revolved around passing strings back and forth. Screw autocomplete, enums and typed classes / variables, I want more code / variables inside strings in this library!"
Yes thats right, the main part of this bullshittery was putting your entire app, into JSON, into a string and downloading it over http ... what could possibly go wrong!
Some of my issues were:
- Everything was a string, meaning we had no autocomplete. Every type and property had to be remembered and spelled perfectly.
- Everything was a string so we had no way to cmd + click / ctrl + click something to see somethings definition.
- Everything was a string so any business logic methods had to be remembered, all possible overloaded versions, no hints at param types no nothing.
- There was no specific tooling for any of this, it was literally open up xcode, create a json file and start writing strings.
- We couldn't use any of the native UI builders ... cause strings!
- We couldn't use any of the native UI layout constructs and we had to use these god awful custom layout managers, with a weird CSS feel to them.
What angered me a lot was their insistence that "You can download a new app over http and it will update instantly" ... except you can't because you can't download new business logic only UI. So its a new app, but must do 100% exactly the same thing as before.
His other achievements include:
- Deciding he didn't like apple's viewController and navigationBar classes and built his own, which was great when iOS 7 was released (changed the UI to allow drawing under the status bar) and we had no access to any of apples new code or methods, meaning everything had to be re-built from scratch.
- On my first week, my manager noticed he fucked up the login error handling on the app I was taking over. He noticed this as I was about to leave for the evening. I stayed so we could call him (he was in an earlier timezone). Rather than deal with his fucked up, he convinced the manager it would be a "great learning experience" for me to do it ... and stay in late ... while he goes home early.
- He once argued with me in front of the CEO, that his frankenstein cross-platform stuff was the right choice and that my way of using apples storyboards (and well thought out code) wasn't appropriate. So I challenged him to prove it, we got 2 clients who needed similar apps, we each did it our own way. He went 8 man weeks over, I came in 2 days under and his got slated in the app store for poor performance / issues. #result.
But rather than let it die he practically sucked off the CEO to let him improve the cross platform tooling instead.
... in that office you couldn't swing a cat without hitting a retard.
Having had to spend a lot more time working with him and more closely than most of the other nominees, at a minimum "I" is on the top of my list for needing a good punch in the face. Not for being an idiot (which he is), not for ruining so much (which he did), but for just being such an arrogant bastard about it all, despite constant failure.
Will "I" make it to most incompetent? Theres some pretty stiff competition so far
Tune in later for more practiceSafeHex's most incompetent co-worker!!!6 -
Worst 'advice' from a college recruiter:
"O you want to major in computer science? Well our school is fantastic for women in comp sci because WHEN they find it too difficult they can easily transition to graphic design. How do you feel about graphic design?"
I decided that school was a bad choice.
Graduating this year with my BS in Comp Sci and going for my Masters in Robotics. Screw that guy.18 -
Is this the code life
Another scrum meeting
Caught in the the Node life
No escape from reality
Open your eyes
Look up to the screens and see..
I'm just a dev boy
Doing some debugging
Because there's warnings here
Errors there
Segment faults
Everywhere
Anytime you distract
Takes another hour from me
From me
*piano starts
Mama. Just committed a bug
Merge the branch to production
Did it fast for milestones
Mama. The repo has just begun
But now they going to throw the stack away.
Mama. U u u uu
Didn't mean to code in LAMP
But it's the only stack i know how to setup
In Ubuntu. Without docker
I really don't get vagrant
*piano
It's too late
My team is done
Some dev is working in Nepal
A UX dev. Now what is that?
Goodbye everybody
I've got to go
Gotta leave this lame meeting
And face the truth
Oh nooooo. I i interns
(they have questions)
I want to debug
I don't want to stay till 3 in the morning
*epic guitar
I see a litlle dev over there
Let's code review, let's code review
Did he do the last commit?
Coding in the white board
Very very frightening me
That's bug(that's a bug)
That's a bug (that's a bug)
What the f*ck did you do that?
Magnificcooooooo
I was just coding and nobody liked it
He was coding and nobody liked it, spare his some time to do his debugging
Easy man. Here go. Will you let me code?
A meeting. No,we will not let you code. ( let me code)
A meeting. we will not let you code. ( let me code)
A meeting. we will not let you code. ( let me code)
We will not let you code
Never never let you go
Never let you code, oh
No no no no no no no
Oh mama mia, mama mia ( dude, you've gotta let me code)
Screw you guys, I'm gonna code and commit. Commit. Comiiiiitt!
*epic guitar
So you think you can review me and spit in my eye?
So you think you can dump me and erase my branch?
Oh baby, cant do this to me baby
I've just have to log out.
I've just have to log outta here
*epic guitar solo
Nothing really matters
The users will not care
Nothing really matters
To them
Any way this code blows10 -
Not sure what Linux Desktop to use? Use this handy guide:
- GNOME: when you want no tray icons, themes that break every minor GTK release, and extensions for basic features (that are buggy.)
- KDE: pretty go-Segmentation Fault
- DWM/Awesome/i3/etc.: when you feel like the time you spent learning Vim wasn't wasteful enough
- XFCE: when you want one update per decade and poor Systemd support.
- LXQt: the biggest positive is that it doesn't use GTK.
- Cinnamon: when you like GNOME 3 but you want a different menu
- Deepin: when you want a desktop with the build quality of an HP laptop.
Aren't sure whether to use Xorg or Wayland?
- Xorg: if you want to absurdly fuck up your touchscreen, pick this one.
- Wayland: if you want to screw up most of your apps, too bad; this won't work with your proprietary drivers. If only it did.
What distro to use?
- Ubuntu: if you want to break your system with PPAs, check out this one.
- Debian: when you want Ubuntu except with more out of date packages
- Redhat: when you want Debian except with more out of date packages
- ElementaryOS: wait, someone actually made a properly designed Linux UI?
- Arch Linux: the only thing that doesn't make me sick anymore.
- Slackware: "that exists still really?"
- Gentoo: when you hate systemd more than waiting 4 days to compile Firefox on every release.
... I love Linux. I do. But it is very taxing to get things comfortable for me anymore. I feel like the Linux Desktop is in a period of flux and it's painful to be a part of right now.25 -
string excuses[]={
"it's not a bug it's a feature",
"it worked on my machine",
"i tested it and it worked",
"its production ready",
"your browser must be caching the old content",
"that error means it was successful",
"the client fucked it up",
"the systems crashed and the code got lost" ,
"this code wont go into the final version",
"It's a compiler issue",
"it's only a minor issue",
"this will take two weeks max",
"my code is flawless must be someone else's mistake",
"it worked a minute ago",
"that was not in the original specification",
"i will fix this",
"I was told to stop working on that when something important came up",
"You must have the wrong version",
"that's way beyond my pay grade",
"that's just an unlucky coincidence",
"i saw the new guy screw around with the systems",
"our servers must've been hacked",
"i wasn't given enough time",
"its the designers fault",
"it probably won't happen again",
"your expectations were unrealistic",
"everything's great on my end",
"that's not my code",
"it's a hardware problem",
"it's a firewall issue",
"it's a character encoding issue",
"a third party API isn't responding",
"that was only supposed to be a placeholder",
"The third party documentation is wrong",
"that was just a temporary fix.",
"We outsourced that months ago.","
"that value is only wrong half of the time.",
"the person responsible for that does not work here anymore",
"That was literally a one in a million error",
"our servers couldn't handle the traffic the app was receiving",
"your machines processors must be too slow",
"your pc is too outdated",
"that is a known issue with the programming language",
"it would take too much time and resources to rebuild from scratch",
"this is historically grown",
"users will hardly notice that",
"i will fix it" };11 -
What a great way to start your day and begin your fucking 2018
The cat just pissed on my laptop (it’s a macbook air)
Wet af
Stink af
Dried the fucking wet stink af laptop
It still works
But the fans gone crazy and slow af
Trying to reset the smc stuff
Nothing changes, still retarded
I want to open the bottom case but i dont have the screw driver
With its fucking limited 128gb storage i store my shits in cloud storages like google drive, dropbox and mega and my projects are stored in bitbucket so nothing to lose
Me : 1 vs Cat : 1
To my beloved cat:
I work hard using this damn laptop to provide food and home for you and you just take a piss on it.16 -
So, today I was at my college library, working on an Haskell project that I have for my Functional Programming class. Library's packed and no seats are available, when the lady that works there passes behind me and says:
"There's people that want to study, if you're gonna be playing on your laptop please leave."
What? Excuse me? Are we in the 21st century or what?
How does a lady that works at a library, on an Engineering College, for more than 10 years, doesn't...
Screw it, I just laughed so hard and proceeded working.
Oh and by the way, first time posting on here!12 -
I'll get to my four words in a sec, but let me set the background first.
This morning, at breakfast, I fired up my trusty laptop only to get a fan failure warning.
Finally, after the three year old is asleep tonight, I'm able to start dismantling the case to get to the fan. I'm hoping it just needs cleaned out.
Hard drive, memory, and keyboard spread out over the kitchen table. I'm not even halfway done.
Guess what? Now I'm one of the lucky 3500 people to have a power outage at 9 pm. Estimated restore time: 2 am.
Sigh.
"All those tiny screws"
And a three year old in the house...
18 -
I make games, I don't do frontend fucking webdev; this isn't my fucking job and I don't fucking understand it. Fuck you, client with money. (Yes that is a CSS for beginners page, no I don't care. Screw you.)
19 -
Aaaah...I just got back from a meeting because of a production data problem caused by an analyst who keeps making mistakes that screw up client data. I wrote a program to automate most of it and everybody initially accused me of having a buggy program, only to find out she wasn't using it, never did.
"Why aren't you using the program then?" was asked. "Oh, well, I just understand my way better," she replies, "When I make a mistake at least I understand why."
Pause....
"Then, um, if you know you're making a mistake, why don't you fix it?"
"Because my process is so manual and labor intensive sometimes it's not worth it to go back and fix it, because I'd have to do everything over again, and you guys are much better at fixing this stuff than I am."
I indicated that everyone is too busy to stop and fix her mistakes, to which she then asks:
"So if you can't fix my mistakes, what am I supposed to do?"8 -
Dells XPS are made of magic. [long story, major fuckup, 10k+ damages]
It all started in December. One morning I was late to work, drove there as fast as possible. (I live like 3 minutes away so me being late really meant *late*) Parked my car in a secluded car park, grabbed my backpack and ran to work. The car park is like 100 meters away from work so I took my feet into my hands and ran. Next thing I know my heels loose all grip while I go down a small slope and I drop on my back full force. On a sharp edged stone. With only my 1700$ XPS in it. Fuck.
I paniced, but got up and ran to work. I checked on the notebook, praying it would boot. It booted! Holy shit. I flipped the notebook and saw two small dents in the aluminum shell. I was thorougly impressed. I later discovered that it left a small shadow on the display, but given what a hit that was (I am not exactly a lightweight), impressive would be a massive understatement.
Fast forward to February, I am weighing my options to get the screen replaced maybe, as damage on my hardware (even if neglectable) triggers some sort of OCD and makes me feel bad 24/7. Also my laptop tends to shut off from time to time, looked into the Event Viewer and saw kernel panic. I figured that the battery probably still took a hit and that it drops voltage from time to time and the kernel assumes a critical situation, thus shutting off.
It stayed quite snowy in Austria up until March, so occasional snowing wasn't rare. Got out of work one day, saw it snowed a bit. Whatever. I had my moms car at the time, so I tried if it would slide a bit if I donut on the now (5pm) empty parking space. Nothing. Drove done a small hill, ABS triangle lit up red (board computer can't outbalance the snow). I drove out to the main street where everything was salted and drove along towards my house. Took a turn into my street, accelerated for a bit and then went off the gas so the car would smoothly drive along with the speed slowly degrading. So I went off the gas and noticed I was a bit to the right, no wonder, centrifugal forces.
*steers left*
"Huh seems like I need a bit more"
*car still doesnt move much*
"What the- go to the left!"
*steers left hard*
"Fuck that wall is coming closer"
*Breaks*
*car doesnt break*
"FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!"
Everything got quiet in seconds, me waking up to an open airbag, ripped pants, a hurting wrist, the radio somewhere on the ground and fumes that smellt like burning wires. I grabbed my backpack that was now somewhere on the floor instead of on the seat and ran outside, tears in my eyes and the phone on my ear calling my mom. I walked inside as she walked outside, hearing a weeping scream that I haven't heard from her since I am alive. While walking inside I noticed my backpack was wet on the bottom, my 2 litre water jug shattered when my backpack hit the dashboard. I tried to stay calm and act rational, knowing that every second counts when It comes to water damage. I hastely searched for some rice and a bag to put my laptop into, stuffed the bag with both and went outside. The car was totaled, my mom pissed and crying. And I was in shock, sad, angry and hurting.
I kept the laptop on my heater for a few days, bagged in rice. I dared to try a boot after a while and you wont believe me, it fucking booted. Even the keyboard backlight worked, just the screen was obviously broken in the back (no color distortion or bad pixel rows though!!) and the aluminum shell had a dent on the front. I talked with Dell Support a few days later, asking if it would be ok to open the XPS up so I could drain all of the water. She said yes thats fine, as long as I dont touch anything or screw around with it.
She said I can send it in and get it checked, but the pickup and analysis will cost 150$ and I can go from there.
I sent it in and estimated that, because battery, screen and other things probably needed changing, it will be around 900$.
Got a call a few weeks later:
"Hello beggarboy, the repair team reported back to us and said that they will have to replace everything, which will be 1700$."
"Fuck... Buying a new one is cheaper.."
"Yeah I know I am sorry about that, I can offer you a voucher so you can buy a new one for 250$ off if you would prefer that"
"Sorry but I will need some time to consider"
"I understand."
The agent clearly noticed I was bummed about it.
After going back and forth what to do I got another call a few days later.
"Hello beggarboy, we talked a few days ago. I have good news"
"Hello, yes, speak up?"
"I was able to get a special offer for you after putting in a few words..."
The next thing she said seemed unreal to me.
She was able to cut 600$ (!!!), making the new offer 1100$, instead of 1700$ or a new one for 1500$. I figured the reason she probably did that was because I am always very polite with support members. Always.
My XPS is back and healty again.
Thank you for taking the time to read this.
Dells XPS are made of magic.13 -
To all young freelancers in low-income countries: I want to share my experience, of 6 years working for a piss-poor country, and 6 years working in freelance, and then emigrating. Here's what you should watch out for, and what to expect:
My first salary was barely 1.5$ per hour. I lived in a piss-poor country that taught me a lot (like why it's piss-poor).
The main thing to note when you're a developer in such a country, is that you're being fucked. Your employer might scream at you and tell you how bad you are, while barely paying you. That is you ... being ... fucked. Gain some confidence with the help of friends and family, and a great effort from yourself, look at what freelance gigs you can find, and ditch anything related to jobs in your country.
Being a somewhat able developer, but with modest experience, I started my freelance gigs for 5$ per hour. Because I was lazy, and freelance gigs weren't exactly being thrown at me, I was making 100$ per week, AFTER the companies I worked for appreciated what I did and offered themselves to up my pay to 12$ per hour. Yep. I was lazy. You will likely get lazy in freelance too, so be prepared for this.
My luck changed when one of my clients became a full-time employer, at 15$ per hour, with a well organized team where I actually worked for 40 hours per week (I had already amassed 8 years of experience...). For people in first world countries that will seem laughable, but in my country I was king of the hill, getting paid more than government CEOs that ended up in the news as the "most well paid".
That was the top of the pyramid for international indie freelance, as I would later find out.
I didn't do stuff that was very difficult. In fact, I felt like my abilities were rotting while I worked there. I had to change something. So I started looking for better offers. I contacted many companies that were looking for a senior developer, and the interviews went well, and all was fine, except for my salary demands. I was asking for 25$ per hour. Nobody was willing to pay more than 15$ per hour. That's because of my competition - tons of developers in cheap-to-live countries that had the same, or more to offer, for the same rates. Globalization.
So I moved to Germany. As soon as I was legally able to work, I was hunted down by everybody. I was told that it takes a month to pass the whole hiring process in Germany. My experience demonstrated that 2-5 days is enough to get a signed contract with "Please start ASAP".
There is freelance in Germany as well. And in the US. And everywhere else. A "special" kind of freelance, where you have to reside locally. The rates that this freelance goes for is much, much higher than international freelance. I'd say that 100€ per hour is ok-ish. Some people (newbies, or foreigners who don't speak the language well) get less, around 60 or so. Smart experienced locals get around 150-200 or even more.
It's all there. Companies want good developers to solve their business problems with IT solutions, and they'll beg you to take their money if you can deliver that.
So code!
Learn!
Accummulate experience!
Screw the scumbags that screw you for 1-2$ per hour!
Anyone able to write something more than "Hello World!" deserves more.
Do the climb! There's literally room for everybody up there! There is so much to do, that I feel like there will never be too many developers.
Thank you for bearing with my long story. I hope it will help you make it shorter and more pleasant for you.11 -
Laravel is the worst framework ever.
Everything has to be made convenient and easy. That sounds amazing, because developers want to save time, worry less about boilerplate code, right? No more constructors, no more dependency injection, fuck all the tedious OOP shit... RIGHT?
It does one thing well: Make PHP syntax uniform and concise through easily integrated libraries such as Collection and Carbon. But those are actually not really part of the framework... just commonly integrated and associated with Laravel.
The framework itself is completely derailed: You can define code in a callback in the routes file. You can define a controller in the routes file. You can define middleware as a parameter to the route, as a fluent method to the route, you can stack them up in a service provider. Validators can be made in controllers, Request objects, service providers, etc. You can send mail inline, through Mailable objects, through Notification objects, etc.
Everything is macroable, injectable, and definable in a million different places. Ultimate freedom!
Guess what happens when you give 50 developers of various seniority a swiss army knife?
One hammers in a screw with a nail file, the other clips the head from the screw using scissors, and you end up with an unworkable mess and blunt tools.
And don't get me started about Eloquent, the Active Record ORM. It's cute for the simple blog/article/author/comment queries, but starts choking when you want more selective and performant queries or more complex aggregates, and provides such an opaque apple-esque interface which lets people think everything is OK, when in reality it's forcing the SQL server to slowly commit suicide.50 -
....
I give up trying to write this.
I'm just too fucking pissed off.
My interactions with my micromanager make absolutely no sense -- she is clearly just trying to piss me off and blame me for everything, facts and reasoning be damned.
I tried detailing this week's examples (there are lots, and it's fucking Tuesday), but. screw it.
Fuck working for (and with) her.
She's a bitchface and a thundercunt.
I'm updating my resume and fucking off out of here.
God fucking damnit i hate her.23 -
I’m doing this guys website for FREE. As a favor to my mom. This is the shit I have to deal with as thanks.
He gave me some images he wanted on his new site I’m developing on Tuesday. Woke up to this email.
9 -
I HATE working with MS Office products. Yes, Access, I'm looking at you, you backwards, whanabe database reject! You're invalid as a serious SQL database and retarded as an data application suite.
VBA, make up your MIND with your damn function calls! Either require me to use parenthesis or don't! I'm sick of this conditional parenthesis sh*t!
While we're talking about not making up your mind... screw 'sub', you half wit language! Either use functions like a real language or go the f&$k home and make room for a language that knows what it's doing!
Oh!!! WHY... WHY! do you have null AND... NOTHING?! Who... Who... WHO invented "nothing"?! And what sick joke are you playing at with isnull() and empty()??? How many damn ways so you need to test for "no value"?!?!
Access... That's right, I'm not done with you yet... How is it you've survived this damn long in the business world with all of the databases you corrupt? Sure, you suck as a real database, but at least have some freaking pride that people even USE you! How DARE your corrupt yourself with the regularity you seem to have! I wish my bowel movements were as regular as your database corruptions, for the love of humanity.
F$@k you, VBA! F@&k you, Access! F$#k you, MS Office! And Fuuuuuu$k YOU Microsoft for shoving these half assed reject tools down my throat!
I hope your cloud uses Access as a back end and gets some injection virus.
*Takes deep breath* need to say that.10 -
I just changed a bunch of comments, log entries, and removed some blank lines from one of my controllers. Zero functional code changes. Everything worked before; now it runs only half the code, breaks, and throws strange errors.
Fucking hell.
Screw today.6 -
Just the other day I got back from getting an extra monitor.. and just when I came back home, some older lady that also lives in this residence came to me, all panicked because her left car lights wouldn't turn off. So she asked me whether I could fix it, because I'm a man and therefore technical... Yeah.
Told her I don't know anything about cars (I don't even have a driver's license), and she should ask someone else.. but she kept clinging on to me and eventually I figured.. screw it, how hard can it be?
Got to her car, yada yada yada.. lady opens the door, and it's full of fucking buttons everywhere! No fucking way that I'm gonna dabble with those. So, do the easiest thing first.
"Ma'm, could you please turn on the car?"
*Turns car on, all lights light up*
🤔 Fair enough...
"Hmm.. and what happens if you turn it off now?"
*Turns car off, all lights go off*
Lady: "I've got no idea how you've done it but thank you so much, you're an angel!! 😊"
Me: "Well.. 😅 let's just say that turning it on, off and back on again works at least 90% of the time..."13 -
Does anyone remember MUDs? Multi-User Dungeons — working on those in LPC was my first experience with real programming. Before that, I'd only made simple websites.
To get permission to program in one MUD, you had to prove that you knew the world, by reaching a certain level in the game. Death had consequences, with a level being lost, as well as risking loss of your items if someone looted you or your corpse was lost. This alone was hard enough to make most players give up. I played (and played wisely) to get there, being the first of my friends. It was hard work and fun.
After months of playing every day, finally, I was a wizard! Well, first, I had to convince someone else to take me as an apprentice, which was it's own challenge, because I was a 13 y/o girl. I ended up having to wait for an older male friend to get to the proper rank and get made a full wizard himself, because anyone else was reluctant (thinking that I'd just screw up or make them look bad), and no one was very happy about it. After some more weeks, I started programming my own content for the MUD, to share with others. It was a great opportunity to learn and express myself, seeing how creative programming could be.
I got called all kinds of names for asking questions and making mistakes, and I questioned why I even wanted to work with these people who hated my guts and didn't want to teach me anything, but I kept going. As I wasn't allowed to take computer classes in school, being able to do projects on my own like this was the only way to learn. I also became more stubborn, patient, and independent, which has always been necessary for this career.
Most importantly, I saw what could be done with programming, and was inspired to keep going with my own projects, no matter how much hate that I got for it. I went on to work on more games and software, often on my own. I always explore new technology, ignore the haters, and forge ahead with my own vision.4 -
I built a feature. I asked questions for days. Nobody helped. I built it anyway, and while I'm not sure it's quite right, it works.
During a code review, I asked for clarification on who the fuck it's for. Simple fucking question. Didn't get an answer. I did get the same crap response twice, though. It's great because it both doesn't answer my question and makes things worse.
Let's refer to this as "branding." Here we go!
------
Root: "Should this be changed to blue? I'm not sure who the end-user is."
TC: "should be purple, then call it something more convenient" (...what?)
Root: "Better phrasing: if we use the feature, it should match our colors and be blue. If customers use it, it should match their colors and be red. It shouldn't be both. I looked through everything again, and i'm convinced that it's only for us, so it should be blue so it matches everything."
TC: "this should be purple, and then call it something [sic] red" (...what!? also: lolcopypaste)
------
But like, that's wrong in every single way. It's internal, not external. Doing both makes it confusing. Doing both and calling it external is fucking stupid. Did she even read the PR? or any of my questions? ugh.
I swear, it's like arguing with a boulder and expecting it to listen. An ugly, oversized boulder that comically resembles Jabba the Hutt. No joke.
Whatever, it can be purple. Later, if someone complains that it's confusing, I'll just link them to the damned PR. Then again, almost everything here is confusing AF, so I doubt anyone will actually notice.
Screw this place. So glad I'm on my way out.6 -
!code
I literally cannot get this computer to boot from ANYTHING other than its hard drive.
I want to boot from a usb flash drive, but the bios doesn't support that. it supports standard and 120mb floppies, ZIP drives, usb floppies, usb cd drives, etc. but not a generic USB drive. You'd think the bios developers would have heard of them back in 2012, but they also refer to Windows as "window os", so who knows.
I changed the boot order multiple times to include everything that might possibly include a usb flash drive, and then just tried all of the other options as well. No luck. Everything just booted straight to Windows.
Okay, that's not exactly unexpected, so I found a boot manager that allows booting to usb drives, and burned that to a cd. I made sure the boot order included "CDDRIVE" first (and "USB-CD" second just to be sure), and tried again. The bios refused to boot from the cd because it's in a cd/dvd drive, and cd drives are VASTLY different beasts than dvd drives, apparently. Like, it didn't even ask the drive to spin up! It just booted straight into Windows.
After a few more reboots (and quite a few middle fingers), my dvd drive magically appeared in the list of allowed boot devices. Why did it just show up now? No clue :/ I'm just happy it's there.
So, I pick that, save and exit, and wait for my shiny new boot manager to pop up. The cursor flashes a bit, moves around, and flashes some more. Then Windows starts loading.
what the crap? why?
So this time I disable booting from the hard drive altogether. In fact, I disable everything except the dvd drive, because screw this, and save/restart for the twelfth time.
Windows greets me.
Again.
What the hell?
At this point I'm tempted to unplug the friggin' drive. If Windows still greets me after that, I'm just going to check myself into an asylum and call it a life.
But seriously.
Either the boot manager in question is triple-faulting and the bios is transparently failing-over to the previous boot config (Windows), or said boot manager is just like "yolo!" and picks Windows anyway.
If a different boot manager doesn't work, I'm totally out of ideas.
Edit: disabling HD boot entirely and removing the boot manager cd also results in Windows loading. It's like the bios is completely ignoring my settings. :/16 -
Those developers working under non-technical bosses, i understand your pain.
1. Pain when they don't realise that output != number of hours put in. Aaaaaaand that acting busy doesn't mean someone's working.
2. Pain when chilling out in office is necessary, because mind jobs don't work same as other jobs. Wherein if you don't vent it out you're gonna screw up the code. Them not getting that.
3. Pain of "meetings".
4. Pain of changing the feature when you're done, and them acting as if its a minor change.
5. Pain of vague requirements.
6. Pain of a product not thought through, and them trying to blame the implementation.5 -
I studied at an Art School and my co-ordinator liked to screw with students. He set up a short-notice meeting with himself, myself and an audio guy (to work on our game).
I didn't know any of this however and my co-ordinator opened with: "He's a photographer looking for a lean Male to do a nude art shoot."....... I'm pretty confident person and I thought he was serious so I agreed to it.
He wasn't serious and it became an interesting start to the meeting.1 -
Recruiters are fucking unbelievable sometimes.
With about one year experience I applied to company A and company B. Kinda competitors in what dev skillset they're looking for.
Company A reviewed my CV and decided I don't have enough experience without giving me a chance to present my actual knowledge.
Company B tells me screw your CV come along show us what you got. I rocked the interview with an offer the next day which I accepted, absolutely thrilled.
Fast forward 7 months I get an email from company A, same recruiter, inviting me to an interview as they're "impressed with my profile and feel like I've gone a long way" (definitely just because company B hired me and I passed my probation)
Ah the joy responding to them that as I value honour and honesty quite highly I don't think I would be a culture match for company B where it is a norm to reject candidates and come back pouch them after they pass probation at competitors.
Eek.. instant apologies email and of course explaining it's not poaching but "exploring opportunities".
Screw company A, honestly.5 -
I built a tracking suite for our fleet of printers quite some time ago. Once a day, "bizteam" (aka sales) gets an alert detailing how many printers are in critical need of attention (out of paper, mechanical error, etc.), and how many of them are flat-out offline. They don't seem to care. I mean they do, I think? but. the offline percentage hasn't changed much in the past month or two.
These printers constitute a primary part of our business model and... screw it. they're goddamn important, okay?
A full 16% of our printers are OFFLINE. Most of those HAVE BEEN OFFLINE FOR 3 FUCKING MONTHS.
3% of our printers have been online BUT OUT OF PAPER FOR OVER A MONTH.
and what really baffles me...
We've convinced a few of these merchants to actually plug in their goddamn printers. (and yes, they actually *paid* for these things, and they're absolutely not cheap.) Some of those were previously both offline AND out of paper, yet after being plugged in, they're *STILL* OUT OF PAPER?! What the crap, people! It's a printer! it's not difficult! It's the same as every other fucking printer you have! and it's probably the same goddamn fucking model!
Did AlexDeLarge skullfuck your brain into mush? FIX YOUR SHIT!11 -
Preface: i'm pretty... definitely wasted. rum is amazing.
anyway, I spent today fighting with ActionCable. but as per usu, here's the rant's backstory:
I spent two or three days fighting with ActionCable a few weeks ago. idr how long because I had a 102*f fever at the time, but I managed to write a chat client frontend in React that hooked up to API Guy's copypasta backend. (He literally just copy/pasted it from a chat app tutorial. gg). My code wasn't great, but it did most of what it needed to do. It set up a websocket, had listeners for the various events, connected to the ActionCable server and channel, and wrote out updates to the DOM as they came in. It worked pretty well.
Back to the present!
I spent today trying to get the rest to work, which basically amounted to just fetching historical messages from the server. Turns out that's actually really hard to do, especially when THE FKING OFFICIAL DOCUMENTATION'S EXAMPLES ARE WRONG! Seriously, that crap has scoping and (coffeescript) syntax errors; it doesn't even run. but I didn't know that until the end, because seriously, who posts broken code on official docs? ugh! I spent five hours torturing my code in an effort to get it to work (plus however many more back when I had a fever), only to discover that the examples themselves are broken. No wonder I never got it working!
So, I rooted around for more tutorials or blogs or anything else with functional sample code. Basically every example out there is the same goddamn chat app tutorial with their own commentary. Remember that copy/paste? yeah, that's the one. Still pissed off about that. Also: that tutorial doesn't fetch history, or do anything other than the most basic functionality that I had already written. Totally useless to me.
After quite a bit of searching, the only semi-decent resource I was able to find was a blog from 2015 that's entirely written in Japanese. No, I can't read more than a handful of words, but I've been using it as a reference because its code is seriously more helpful than what's on official Rails docs. -_-
Still never got it to work, though. but after those five futile hours of fighting with the same crap, I sort of gave up and did something else.
zzz.
Anyway.
The moral of the story is that if you publish broken code examples beacuse you didn't even fking bother to test them first, some extremely pissed off and vindictive and fashionable developer will totally waterboard the hell out of you for the cumulative total of her wasted development time because screw you and your goddamn laziness.8 -
The moment when...
1. You buy a new monitor --> Yay!
2. And you don't have the screw to connect the stand and the monitor --> Screw it!
3. And it is Saturday, service center closed. --> But, but, but.....
(cries)4 -
TLDR; Wrote an awesome piece of code, but there's no one capable of understanding how hard it is.
I spent an entire night building an insanely complicated automation script, that picks out certain configuration files (in javascript fml), does some crazy parsing to pick out strings, passes them into a free translation API, translates them, and does more insane parsing to insert those strings as javascript objects.
Spent 3 hours on the bloody parsing algorithm alone.
Manager: Oh this language is really nice. Good of you to discover it can do that.
I didn't "DISCOVER" it ffs! Its a product of my head! I built the damn algo from scratch.
Seriously, screw non devs who trivialize the complexities of writing a good program. Its NOT as simple as opening notepad and typing in
import {insanelyComplexSolution} from 'daveOnTheInternet'3 -
I hate the reason why I don't mind people thinking I'm in my late 20s.
See, I've known quite a few people who will happily work with me, only to find out I'm 20. After that, they'll turn their nose up at me, and not bother with my input.
Sure, it might not be an age thing, and instead is a "I'm working with a junior level person", but even so, if someone has valid points to make, you listen to them or you'll get screwed over.
I didn't get to where I am now by acting like an inexperienced graduate.
And that's another thing. I didn't go to Uni/College. I self taught myself everything I know. I'm glad that the culture for smaller businesses has moved on from "you must have a degree to even talk to us".
It still stands though. If people lose respect for someone who didn't take exactly the same path as them, then screw them. I'm not a violent guy, but you'll still end up with a black eye if you push your luck.9 -
Screw the German Telekom!
I recently got a new home without internet so naturally, I went to an isp, Telekom. I went there a few weeks ago and was pleasantly surprised by the personal and the general competence. He told me they would send a technician to check my cable. So I thought great and went home. 1 A week passes, nobody shows up. I then went back to the shop and asked(someone different). He basically told me that such a service must be specifically asked for and a contract has to be signed. I then told
him his colleague told me no such thing, and that the technician should have checked up on my connection last week. He excuses him self and I signed the thingy.
Now you would imagine that this would have worked.
but.
NOOOoooo.
A week came and went and I got pissed. So I went back to the shop the guy from the first try was there. I Asked what happened, he types in his Computer. and. and. and. nothing. Apparently, the previous guy forgot, fucking forgot, to enter my request to their bloody System.
Now I asked if I can Just become a customer.
Guy: Sure, what speed is available in your region?
Me: I don't know...
Guy: Let me check
/Type/ /Type/
Guy: I can't see your speed the technician should have checked.
Me: Um, so, can he check?
Guy: Clearly you don't know what you want
Me:???
Guy:*leaves table*
(shorten but you get the Idea)
At this point, I really wanted to change isp so I went to Vodafone.
Lady comes up to me asks me a bunch of stuff and I explain I would want to change my phone, internet, tv, mobile and my friends mobile(I lost a bet once ^~^) to Vodafone.
What happened next I can't really explain, but she talked to her boss and "cheated" (how she calls it) on Vodafone and got me an AMAZING deal it is cheaper than Telekoms has waay more mobile data, faster Internet and I got a new phone :D.
And guess what she could fucking check, fucking check from here Computer my max internet speed.
I can only hope that the lady got a big fat commission for what she has done.6 -
Trying to build a mobile first application that relies on camera and geolocation data but use drupal to do it.... ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS .. WTF is this shit?! ... let me nail in this screw with a banana.2
-
Back in the day, I joined a little agency in Cape Town, small team small office with big projects, projects they weren’t really supposed to take on but hey when the owner of a tech business is not a tech person they do weird things.
A month had passed and it was all good, then came a project from Europe, Poland to be specific. The manager introduced me to the project, it was a big brand - a segment of Lego, built on Umbraco (they should change the name to slowbraco or uhmmm..braco somewhere there) the manager was like so this one is gonna be quite a challenge and I remember you said you are keen on that, I was like hell yeah bring it on (genuinely I got excited) now the challenge was not even about complexity of the problem or code or algorithms etc you get my point… the challenge was that the fucking site was in polish - face palm 1 - so I am like okay code is code, its just content, and I already speak/familiar with 13 human languages so I can’t fail here ill get around it somehow. So I spin up IIS, do the things and boom dev environment is ready for some kick ass McCoding. I start to run through the project to dig into the previous dev’s soul. I could not relate, I could not understand. I could not read, I could not, I could not. - face palm 2 - This dude straight up coded this project in polish variable names in polish, class names in polish, comments in freaking polish. Look, I have no beef with the initial guy, its his language so why not right? sure. But not hey this is my life and now I should learn polish, so screw it, new tab - google translate, new notes, I create a dictionary of variables and class etc 3 days go by and I am fucking polish bro. Come at me. I get to read the previous devs soul through his comments, what a cool dude, his code wasn’t shit either - huge relief. So I rock on and make the required changes and further functionality. The project manager is like really, you did it? I am like yeah dude, there it is. Then I realise I wasn’t the first on this, this dude done tried others and it didn’t go down well, they refused. - face palm 3 -
Anyway, now I am a rock star in the office, and to project managers this win means okay throw him in the deep - they move me to huge project that is already late of course and apparently since I am able to use google translate, I can now defeat time, let the travelling begin. - face palm 4 - I start on the project and they love me on it as they can see major progress however poland was knocking on the door again, they need a whole chunk of work done. I can’t leave the bigger project, so it was decided that the new guy on Monday will start his polish lessons - he has no idea, probably excited to start a new job, meanwhile a shit storm is being prepared for him.
Monday comes, hello x - meet the team, team meets x
Manager - please join our meeting.
I join the meeting, the manager tells me to assist the new dev to get set up.
Me: Sure, did you tell him about he site?
Manager: Yes, I told him you knocked it out the park and now we just need to keep going
Me: in my head (hmm… that’s not what I was asking but cool I guess he will see soon enough -internal face palm 5 - ) New dev is setup, he looks at the project, I am ask him if he is good after like an hour he is like yeah all good. But his face is pink so I figured, no brother man is not okay. But I let him be and give him space.
Lunch time comes, he heads out for lunch. 1hr 15mins later, project manager is like, is the new dude still at lunch.
We are all like yeah probably. 2hrs pass 3hrs pass Now we are like okay maybe something happened to him, hit by a car? Emergency? Something… So I am legit worried now, I ask the manager to maybe give him a ring. Manager tries to call. NOTHING, no response. nada.
Next day, 8am, 9am, 10am no sign of the dude. I go to the manager, ask him what’s up. Manager: he is okay. However he said he is not coming back.7 -
I have to rant a bit about the toxic reactions to a constructive Q&A website.
People keep complaining that they get downvotes and corrections, or stuff like that.
Are you fucking kidding me?
So you expect people to spend their own time for absolutely free, to help you, while you don't even want to invest in describing the issue you're having properly? And then complain that people are having issues in understanding your questions?
Let's look at this scientifically. Let's gather up some questions that have been received badly on SO in the last few hours. From the top (simply put https://stackoverflow.com/questions... in front of the id):
47619033 - person wants a discussion about an algorithm while not providing any information about what worked and what failed. "Please write a program for me". Breaking at least 2 rules.
47619027 - "check out my videos" spam
47619030 - "Here's the manual that has my answer but I can't find my answer in it".
47619004 - "how do I keep variables in memory"
47618997 - debug this exception, I'll give you no info on what I tried and failed. Screw this, you guys figure this out, I'm going out for beer.
47618993 - expects everyone to guess what the input is, what the expected output is, and whether he has read what HashMap is in the manual. But sure, this question is so far the best out of all the bad ones.
47618985 - please write code according to my specifications
Should I go on? There wasn't a single clear question about problems in code in this entire small set. Be free to continue searching, let me know if you find something that:
1. You understand what's being asked
2. Answer is clear and non-ambiguous (ex. NOT "which language is the coolest?")
3. Not asking someone to write a program for them.
4. Answer is not found in the most basic form of manuals (ex. php.net)
5. Is about programming.
The point is:
If you get downvoted on Stackoverflow - then you wrote a shitty question. Instead of coming over here and venting uselessly, simply address the concerns and at least TRY to write a clear question if you expect any answers.5 -
Someone "advised" me today to start going to bed early because it improves my health. Well, it's been 3 hours with my eyes still open.
Screw it am going back to code.6 -
Long rant...
*Designer Posted image of newly designed layout for our app on trello.
Dev 1 (me, being the junior, on ios) : so... What's the size for x, Y, z, a, B, C?
She: it's 9 for the small text, 10 for sub title, 12 for main title.
*shows her the design on app
Dev 1: seems too small
She: just make it to look not small.
Dafug?
*finishes the app layout for that screen.
*working on next screen
Dev 1: your new design is for the screen of 1920x1080. But our supported screen size starts from 320 width. So there'll be text overlapping each other and ui might screw up.
She: uh.. Just... Put those that will overlap to the next line.
*shrugs
Dev 1: ok
=======
2 days later
Dev 2 (senior, working on Android)
Dev 2: so... What's the colour for x, Y, z
*Dev 1 laughs on the inside because of the struggles we have with her.
Dev 1 to Dev 2: is it common for her not to follow the design guidelines?
Dev 2: yeah man.. We just have to adapt her design into our app guidelines.
*sigh
Dev 2: there's a new icon here on this screen, so you wanna change the icon? Can I have the icon file?
She: oh.. No.. Use back the old one, because I just copy and paste.
Dev 1: so... This progress bar of yours, doesn't show its background colour, because you filled it already. So what's the background colour if the bar isn't filled?
She : hmm.... Oh.. Well.. Maybe try x.. ? *doesn't look nice* how about Y? *doesn't look nice* how about...
Me : why not you try in your computer first instead of me changing it here by code, it's much faster this way.
*seriously, wth?
Dev 1 and 2: there's additional text in your new design, what is it for?
She : oh.. No no. I copied extra due to copy and paste. Just ignore it.
Dev 1 and 2: what's the spacing gap between x and Y? And how about the size of the box?
She : oh.. I just estimate it, and for the box, not sure either, you can follow old design, because I'm just putting a box there for illustration purpose.
Mother fickle, what fuck man.
Dev 1 and 2: *flips table.
*we didn't, but.. It's freaking annoying.7 -
I just hate it when clients with no knowledge of developing says I'm looking for "more professional"
FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!
Somebody did that with dedication and you can't just call it that!!
SCREW YOU!!!
😡😡😡😡😡15 -
//begin midnight rant
THATS IT, I AM PISSED OFF NOW ABOUT THIS SNAPCHAT SHIT!!!
I DON'T GIVE A FUCK !!!
I DIDN'T GIVE A FUCK WHEN SNAP CHAT WAS INVENTED
I DIDN'T GIVE A FUCK WHEN WATSAPP COPIED ITS FEATURE(yeah I haven't seen your pathetic story)
AND I ALSO DONT GIVE A FLYING FUCK ABOUT THE SHIT ITS GOTTEN INTO NOW.
as a guy who is allergic to people I stay the fuck away from such apps.
but for God's sake get real u shit heads... Uninstalling an app is not an achievement worth bragging about( there is a drag and drop interface for it in ur Android phone)
Here is a guy who started his own company when he graduated from college and is providing employment to 100s of ppl and ur going to put that at risk just because your fragile ego was hurt because of "poor country " comment fuck u do your research that comment was made in 2015 when a monthly 1gb 3g internet would burn a hole in your pocket
Go screw yourselves u brain dead pieces of shit if u r so worked up about being called a poor country then start a company and provide jobs for the people who are struggling(why would you when uninstalling an app is so much easier).
Any one with 300 mg of common sense would have realize that the video would have difficulty in buffering in your slow ass 2g internet pack in your phone in 2015 when Jio sim was not yet introduced.
People like you are the reason I wish the super villains would win at the end of sifi movies.
I hope God(if there is one and if ever he decides to give a fuck) would give the guys who built this app the strength to get through this shit storm
PEACE OUT
//End of mid night rant11 -
My cable company imposed a data cap on us, then offered an unlimited plan for 50/month. So total would be 150/month for only internet. Unfortunately, they are the only provider.
Until now. I got on the phone with their competition for around 3 hours today and talked them into rolling out to our neighborhood. As of Tuesday, we actually have competition. It feels so good to screw over the cable company like this, especially after how they approached data caps.5 -
I recently ranted so much about languages but here it goes
JS we need to talk. BECAUSE YOU GOT FAT AND UGLY STUPID BITCH! Dumb piece of bloatware. What even is your problem? Depending on a library for strpad and then blow up like Steve jobs ego. Bastardized fuckfest. I used to like you bro and then you screw me over!
It's like you fuck my wife while I try to fix your car. Why can't you even be usefully on your own anymore? I'd be richer than bill gates if I get a dollar for every damn framework people pull from their asses. Are you writing this fuck while shitting so you can compare colors of your outcome?
Normalize the fucking base, don't add to the bukkakke! bitch is drowning already. Why is everyone jerking of to react and angular? When have YOU written something in vanilla the last time? Why even bother? Remove the core and hardcore every damn framework into the browsers. Guess that saves you 200kb. Oh wait I forgot that's about unminified jQuery.
Now I need to load about 2GB of dependencies, some creating code that puts code in my code to load code out of my code which was generated out of something that remotely resembles JS so every browser is able to execute my fancy shit. But hey, it's fast. And of course there are the fanboys. You are worse than apple fags. You sample your own jizz with your friends in a wine glass. there was a Time it was bad practice to mix logic and view. Now you made it mandatory. "Browser does the rendering" ofc you imbecile pile of fuck don't show me a damn preloader for 1 picture and 20 lines of text. Who fucked your brain so hard?
So react seems to be the cool kid now, then I tell someone I know angular it's like showing up in a pikachu onsie to a formal dinner with the queen.
I used to love you girl. I loved how we could dirty things together. Now you are like a pig. Please loose weight bby the sight of you disgusts me nowadays2 -
How my year has gone so far...
Management: Bobby, we are replacing your old hammer.
Me: Ok cool.
Management: Well actually there's so much going on...here is a wrench instead.
Me: But, this isn't a hammer.
Management: Yes we are aware but we are busy and cannot buy a hammer for a several more months.
Me: How the fuck am I suppose to hammer nails with this?
Management: Oh gosh you are right. That sounds difficult. We will grind down one side of it so you have a flat surface to hammer in those nails.
Management: Oh and by the way, those nails are super important so don't screw anything up.12 -
Fuck our new project manager.
Literally all she does in her time is schedule meetings for others and send us emails stating that X needs to be done by date or why are we delayed with Y. Then she even manages to completely screw us with the meetings she schedules.
Today I woke up to seeing a beautiful gapless column of colorful rectangles in my dairy.... for today. And last time I saw this Monday it only had 2.5 hours of meetings!!
Now a lot of us from our team had the Friday afternoon off so it may be that she did this beautiful piece of artwork during that time, in which case she could somewhat rightfully say that we should have taken a look at it. But we actually have a convention to only schedule planning meetings for Mondays which these fucking aren't and even if she hadn't known this, who the fuck schedules a ton of meetings to Monday?! from a Friday afternoon?!?!
By the way the new pretty pink and orange meetings I have today are about actually important topics in between which I would normally appreciate to grab a tea or at least use the fucking restroom. Officially I only have a 45 minute lunch break all day.
Oh and naturally she sets up the meetings as organiser so that we can only suggest her new times and can't change it on our own.
But naturally PM lady never actually attends the meetings because she wouldn't understand shit. So when my fav female colleague, Sammy and I joined our 11am meeting, the first thing Sammy said - well after I greeted her by "wtf" - is to just leave the call on while we grab brunch.
So here I am sitting in the close by park with my brunch and thought I could use the now extended lunch break time efficiently by ranting my ass of and asking you guys why the fuck such people like our PM get paid.5 -
Me in my head: I've got this great idea for an app. You can probably build it in a hour. This is going to be awesome!
Ten minutes later: Screw this, can't be bothered anymore. What's on tv.?1 -
I don't understand why people are making a fuss about Facebook.
It's free to use, the amount of users kept increasing (thus the cost of maintenance) yet the company kept getting bigger and bigger. Obviously they're not making all their money off the advertisements on Facebook's own website.
So why are people so surprised that they're "selling" user information?
This is really funny to me. Especially the media joining in saying that it makes all your information available to everybody when they're actually talking about the fact that the majority of Facebook users have their profile set to public and they can be easily found with a simple Google search.
People are so fucking hypocritical it makes me want to puke. If you don't want anybody to know what you posted, just don't fucking post it on a SOCIAL MEDIA in the first place.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that facebook is all flowers and love, they clearly didn't handle this situation well. They could have done something about this whole situation when it started instead of waiting for things to blow out of proportion.
However, people are just being assholes now. I highly doubt that they're reading all chats nor are they sending it over, they're probably just sending out some words you mention often so that it is pertinent for advertisers (ex. If you use the word computer next to buy, then maybe that triggers something). I could talk extensively about it but I'm way too lazy, the point is, they most likely aren't sending the nudes you sent to advertisers because that does not provide any benefits.
If you don't like Facebook, don't fucking use it. Delete your account and shut the fuck up. When you screw up in real life, there's no takesies backsies, why the fuck do people think it doesn't apply online? The government gathers up quite a lot of information on you yet I don't see you crying your eyes out.
Why the fuck do you care so much if an advertisement is tailored to specifically? Yeah, you talked about dildos and now you see dildo ads from Amazon, not happy? Just download adblock and shut up. If you're gullible and the moment you see an ad about single women in your area you click on the ad because you want to get laid right now, that's your problem.
Don't want people knowing about some aspects of your private life? Don't share it online.
Stop acting like people are any better at keeping secrets, I'm sure you had some people leak your secrets at least once, yet I doubt you sued them and you brought them to court.
===========
I'm sorry about this, it's just that Facebook is all over the news and I'm getting sick of it.
Also, I hate facebook, I'm not necessarily defending it, I'm more pissed at the medias for blowing this situation out of proportion.22 -
When working with hardware some mistakes can be literally painful. Thankfully this was all during undergrad and I'm only around computer hardware now lol.
>Misprogrammed a software kill switch so a sensor that should not have been sending data was actually sending data which caused the system to activate a piston that went WHAM! into the face of a teammate working on replacing some part of it...
>Misprogrammed a controller so it drew too much power from the supply and the puny supply wires literally burst into flame and fell across my arm.
>Spun a 9000rpm CNC spindle the wrong way and caused an attached screw to go rocketing upwards instead of downwards and almost break the (pretty expensive) thing (uh...we were trying to use it as a power screwdriver essentially but I set the rpm to about 100x what I wanted and the direction wrong so yeah).
>Switched a -1 with a +1 in a robot's control system sending it careening into a teammate's leg... let's just say mecanum wheels are paaaainful.6 -
@Apple iPadOS an iOS teams: you puZies.
You release one buggy iOS / iPadOS after another, each piling on features and bugs, without fixing crowd documented long standing defects.
But what really pisses me off is when you don't have the balls to own up to your mistakes. This is at least the 3rd time you have re-released an iOS / iPadOS update under the same version number. This time it is 14.5.1
I have iPadOS 14.5.1 installed and the iPad is now telling me I need to update to 14.5.1. Just own up to it, you released buggy shit and you need to release another bug fix days after... call it 14.5.2. Call it like it is and we respect you. Try to hide it and you lose our respect, you pussies.
If Microsoft did one thing right, they defined the release sequencing:
X.Y.Z
Changing X means rewrite the manual it is so new and improved (🖕🏻 you Adobe and FileMaker)
Changing Y means it is an update with more features than bug fixes but not a generational change that constitutes a rewrite of anything (🖕🏻 you macOS team for bastardizing with 10.X.Y)
Changing Z means you fixed your stuff, we respect you for owning up to your mistakes.
Man-up Apple, grow some balls and stop confusing people with trying to cover up your screw ups. It's all about the Z.3 -
fucking piece of garbage postman!
WHY THE HELL do you auto-update yourself when i explicitly DISABLED updates?
why the hell is it just a "minor" update to switch to a version that FORCES you to have an account, even if all you do is use offline features?
and why is there no option to disable syncing your data to their server, even if it's not needed at all? YALL EVER HEARD OF A THING CALLED PRIVACY?
and why the fucking fuck of all fucked fucks DO YOU DELETE MY PREVIOUS OFFLINE DATA SO I CAN'T EVEN CONTINUE WORKING BY INSTALLING AN OLDER VERSION?!?
some dumb-piece-of-garbage-waste-of-oxygen managers decision to screw their userbase cost me several HOURS(!) of work already and probably will cost some more due to the lost collections.10 -
Today I started work on a new project that contains a lot of legacy. I asked the developers about unit testing javascript and was told that not only is there none in place, but it's not worth adding any in.
At first, I grimaced and thought fair enough. This is their codebase, it's their choice. I've now been thinking about this for a few hours and have instead decided that screw those guys, I'm adding in a testing framework, a module pattern that's compatible with the existing code, and unit testing the crap out of it. If they don't want it they can refactoring it out, but I can't bring myself to intentionally deliver code I know is crap.
I WILL FORCE CODE QUALITY ON THEM.7 -
Should I give swearing comments under the "I found my SO" rants for this week? 😔
I'm not upset. Not angry. Really. Well maybe a tad envious. Just a tiny bit. Yeah.
Screw it. Yeah I hate you all. 😭😭😭7 -
Son a fucking bitch!
I ordered a brand new shiney SSD for my Inspiron 7573 which came in today. I was all set up with system backups just in case and install media for Debian and Windows standing by. I pull out my tools and realize that the laptop isn't going to have a screw inside to hold the drive in since it didn't come with a SSD. No big deal, I pull out the magnetic bowl of extra screws from all the previous repairs I've done and start looking for the screw I need. I can't find the screw I need so I go online hoping maybe I'll find someplace in town that will have one single screw with no luck.
Now I get to wait 2 more days for the screw I need to arrive from Amazon.
12 -
About 3 weeks ago I joined $BIG_CORP via campus recruitments. Today, when the alarm went off, I said to myself "Screw this, I'll make it to the 10am class" and instantly realized I wasn't in college anymore.
Welcome to the rest of my life, I guess
¯\_(ツ)_/¯1 -
Screw MySQL/MariaDB. Who the fuck thought not to document that utf8 is only 3 bytes and not unicode capable. You have to use utf8mb4 for it to work. Fuck those idiots that don't want to admit they made a mistake and put this info in a footnote on a pricy documentation piece.6
-
My job feels (and acts) like a soulless void.
Wow, that sounds like lyrics to an emo song for adults. screw that.
But it's still pretty accurate: While I have quite a few coworkers, and they're at least somewhat chatty, they never seem to respond to me, or even notice me. I see them talking, but anything I do or say gets ignored. It goes into the void and disappears.
I talk in the off-topic channels. People talk around me.
I make comments on releases. No responses.
I talk about music I've been addicted to. No responses.
I talk about food and cooking -- a popular topic at work. No responses.
I respond to an invitation to join the security team. No responses. (well, an empty deferral)
I release various features, some both my boss and a coworker described as "soul-crushing." No thanks, priase, appreciation; honestly, no one even seemed to notice.
I build useful utilities and functions for other devs to use. Nothing.
I optimize the scripts everyone uses on a daily basis, and mention it to others. Still nothing.
The void eats my efforts, and occasionally spits out parcels of work for me to do. The only responses I recieve from the void are when I ask about its parcels of work. When I send them back completed, nothing happens -- unless they need more work. If they do not... nothing.
My previous job was friendly and nice and rewarding.
The job before that was Hell.
This one feels like Purgatory, but ... somehow emptier.10 -
Agile is cool but management likes to screw it up by trying to micromanage. This usually starts but making an inexperienced pm your scrum master. They control all meetings and turn daily standup to a 30 minute interrogation session.1
-
I love it how managers try to act busy by going through the same mails over and over again while waiting for a new one so that they can instantly reply to it and show themselves off as "prompt" and screw us, who have to actually do some work, about not sending mails promptly and they have like this one single excel sheet opened at all times and they just make one obscure entry whenever they get an update and WOW, some of them don't even know how the fuck you spell Avro (spelt it as avero, handwritten) and oh, not to mention waste everyone's time by asking a mundane question that other managers are so eager to answer, one by one, over and over and did I mention THAT THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW HALF THE PRODUCT.
-
SCREWED OVER GOOGLE WITH MICROSOFT!!!! YES!!!
So as I'm deaf, I've always had a problem with captions or lack of them.
I thought Live Captions would fix it but it's only supported on selected devices and not enabled for calls and conferences like Zoom, WhatsApp.
I tried hooking up my sound card with an audio capble to my phone which has LC and also Live Transcribe... but somehow wouldn't pick up the audio.
Then today I was like wait... I could just install a Pixel emulator... excepy seems Google thought of that...
(I installed VB Cable virtual sound card and routed sound out to mic in).
Well first apparently, the emulator does not actually identify as Pixel... it identifies as an Emulator that sorta looks like Pixel...
Which means no LC...
I installed LT and also a sound meter which confirmed it was getting the audio but no transcription...
Though I tried GBoard and it sorta worked..
But I would like continuous transcription... and so I open the app store and try all the apps until I hit MSFT Translate...
Which has a convo mode which seems pretty much designed to screw Google over lol. Just need to start a Convo with myself...
25 -
A client of mine wanted me to use a specific picture as a background image on one of his graphics. This is how the conversation went:
C: Can you use this as the background?
Me: Where did you get this image exactly?
C: I got it off Google Images.
Me: you can't do that, you need licensing for the image
C: Well I just licensed it. Screw them.
Me: ...That's not how that works..6 -
I don’t like to judge people based on what languages they like (because I like all of them). But I can’t deny the pattern anymore.
Smart people know and enjoy smart languages: Smalltalk, OCaml, Clojure, Lisp, Haskell, etc. They may use JavaScript or PHP to make money, but ask them to code in their smart language and they’ll be more efficient. Getting old, some of those people say “screw it” and find a Haskell job.
You, my friend, are not one of those people. You are VSCode-dwelling goblin who thinks lambda calculus has something to do with JS arrow function notation, is scared of reduce() and not even good at the single fucking language they know.
Insta coders and that mechanical keyboard collector dorks are not “superstars” you got to be like.11 -
I wrote an app (took all morning until now) that tells me which shows and movies Amazon removed from Prime...
I forget why I wanted this... was it just to screw with Amazon because they rejected me....
The app is also going to tell me what movies/shows were added because they can't fucking sort them in chronological order by release date. I don't want movies from pre-1990s that were recently added...
Yes I could search for them manually but it's too fuckin tedious, gotta turn on like 10 filtering options...
And maybe I just want to run mini-DDOS attacks on their servers...
13 -
Dear Microsoft Kusto Query Language (KQL)
Screw you. You suck like more than a sudden depressurization event in an airplane. Creating your own freaking query language is bad, the people who invented SQL based it on a the principles of mathematical relational algebra, which although confusing, and not suited for all use cases is at least consistent.
You were invented by a bunch of oxygen deprived halfwits based on the principles of sadism and incompetence.
The only situation in which I would voluntarily use KQL as my tool of choice is if my purpose was to extract a Dantesque style revenge on someone who had committed grievous harm to myself and my family members. In that case forcing them to work with you day in and day out would still border on cruel and unusual punishment.
Sincerely, A developer who has spent the past 2 hours dealing with your Lovecraftian madness.
P.S. I hope you choke on a raw chicken bone and no one gives you CPR.3 -
Semi rant/ opinion
I have been wondering a bit about what my fellow devs think about adblockers
I have been using an adblocker for years.
I am guessing we got a good mix of both people who are pro and against them
I do get the site's owner point of view wanting to get a little bit of cash out of their site buts its the ad publisher that come in and royally screw things up with their garish flashy shit.
I wouldn't really mind 2-3 small static adverts on a page, little ones that don't disrupt the flow of the page or clash with the page colour scheme (i know that one is a bit far fetched but anyone who loaded up a dark page in the comfort of a darkened room only to have a big bright ad turn up in the middle of the page force them to squint ). Sadly publishers don't give a damn, their only concern is to
GRAB YOUR ATTENTION...
FLASHY FLASH FLASH MOFO!
OH AND HERE IS AN AUDIO ENABLED ONE FOR YA, GOOD LUCK MUTING IT YOU POOR SHMUCK , ONE CLICK ON THE DAMN THING WILL TAKE YOU TO THE LAND OF POP-UPS
AH YOU WANNA DOWNLOAD SOMETHING BUDDY ? AH WELL I HOPE YOU LIKE INDIANA JONES' SCENE WITH HOLY GRAIL
CUZ HERE ARE 10 DOWNLOAD BUTTONS, ONE IS THE REAL THING THE REST WILL ARE TOOLBARS
They are the biggest culprit here yet moan the loudest about adblockers.
Sort yourselves out then complain to us about ad blocking6 -
I fucking hate developping on windows😡😡.
Since I use linux it's a pain in the ass to work with windows in developping related stuff. Nothing works.....Or the last day it worked and then it just thinks like "fuck you, I really like to screw all the work you've done in the last hours over"
Come on...10 -
Every single time a cool electronic device comes out, that connects to an API. The nerd in me can’t resist getting on a 3 month waiting list to get said gadget. I impatiently wait. I get gadget. It’s usually cool but never as cool as the marketing made it seem….thats not the rant yet.
Within 2 year the company is gone and i’m left with a $500-$1,000 paperweight that doesn’t work anymore.
This has happened to every single device I have bought that wasn’t from a billion $ company.
These companies would rather screw everyone over instead of simply making the backend of product open-source so people that use the product can at least try to get it working again.
My 1st rant. Sorry in much better in real life at bitching about things 😎7 -
So, I just put my PC back together after a thorough internal cleaning.
And I just stepped on a small screw.
FUCK IT. THE CASE IS COMING OFF AGAIN1 -
Storytime!
I got a ticket near the end of the day, asking to install a printer on a computer. The branch in question was in a different time zone (I'm in US-Pacific [GMT-07] and the computer was in US-Eastern [GMT-04]). I figured I wouldn't worry about it; after all, I had other tickets to work on that were much higher priority.
The next day I come into work and immediately get a message from one of my East Coast coworkers, telling me that this branch is calling and asking how the printer is coming. I told him to tell them I would call them a bit later. I do a couple of easy jobs and then begrudgingly call the branch. I listen to the phone tree that they have (which requires two button presses instead of one in order to speak with someone) and finally get in contact with a person... only to have the call disconnect.
I call back and ask for the person who called in the ticket and then followed up, who had apparently gone to lunch. I informed the person that I was just going to install the printer and it would be good to go. This would be fine... up until she mentioned she needed scanning functionality.
Now I wasn't sure if the driver we have in AD is set up with the scan functionality, so I said okay, but that meant I would have to get the driver from the website. The connection to our branches are about 1Mbps, so even downloading Java updates (60-ish MB) take about 5-10 minutes on a good day. The file for this printer was about 700MB (thanks HP). So I went and did other stuff while that downloaded.
I come back after it finished and started the install process. Right away it asks to re-seat the USB cable. So I call the branch. The call disconnects. I call again. It disconnects. I call one more time, and finally get the person who called the ticket in. I instruct him to re-seat the cable. He does. The driver starts doing its thing. I tell him I'll call back if I run into any issues and we hang up.
The driver goes through the install process for about 20 minutes, stops at 99%, then fails. I want to restart the computer, just in case there's a conflict somewhere, but that would require calling the store again, so I put it off.
About an hour later I get a message from another East Coast coworker, telling me the branch is calling about the printer again. I was in the middle of another call and said I would call back later. I do. It disconnects. I call again, and get the person who called the ticket in again. I tell him I want to restart the computer, but wasn't sure if it was okay. He checks with the people using it, who says it's okay, so I reboot. I hang up.
Once the computer comes back up I start the install process again. It asks to re-seat the cable. Fuck. I don't want to call the store again, so I open notepad and say "Please take out the printer's USB connection from the back of the computer."
Three. Fucking. People. Saw it. They moved the window and one even tried to close it, but they didn't re-seat the cable. I opened another window, telling them to call me at my number. They didn't. I called them. Got disconnected. I called them again, finally got someone, told them to re-seat the printer cable again. They do, thank god.
I say thank you and hang up. Continue the installer. It stops at 99% again and fails. I reboot the computer; screw it, I'm just going to install the driver from Active Directory. Check Devices and Printers. It's installed successfully. Hallelujah!
I get the printer set up for the various programs they use and print a test page. I call them one last time; their phone system sounding like they were connected via an underwater line connected by tin cans. I get someone.
$me: Hi, I want to know if the printer has printed something.
$them (garbled): -et me shee... yesh, it -rint-d a *beezelborp*.
$me: Perfect, I'm going to close this ticket! Thanks, goodbye! *hangs up*
tl;dr - I hate printers -
Ok so to recap, we had shit beginning. We couldn't find client like 3 months and thank god that we agreed that we don't register the firm right away. If we did we would be broke a long time ago.
We found first client and he wanted to build some scrapers with gui. So me being BackEnd developer I created API for scraping (boredom) and my friend created website for that api and I just created gui that displays that site. The project was about 1200$. And since there are 3 of us we splited it into 3x400$.
After that it was again really hard to find clients again. We thought of quitting and just going to uni or something but we really didn't want to and anyways we needed to get money for uni ourselfs if we wanted to go.
So we said that as we are not paying anything and not losing money we will continue as long as we can.
And after we managed to get a hold of it and now we have 2 clients and after we finish them we have 2 more.
So I think the most important thing is that you help your coworkers. My friend who finds clients had a rough time at the beggining as I mentioned. So all 3 of us got together and started spamming people for few weeks. That's how we found our first client.
So now we are running. Not a milion dollar company but we are happy that we are doing what we love and that we have money doing it. We aim higher but we don't want to hurry and screw things up as we are young still.
Also thank you for getting interested after 300 days :)11 -
Our tech lead left a mess in the database. He turned his screw-up into an architectural discussion, weighing the benefits of duplicated, messy data vs. keeping it consistent. He suggested that, instead of fixing his broken script and cleaning the mess, we should break all of the other scripts and have them trash the database, too.
They almost believed it.
What a clever maneuver. I wish he would use his cleverness to make good software, instead. -
Me and my developer friend worked with my ex-colleague with this fitness directory website because he promised to give us {{ thisAmount }} upon the {{ completionDate }}.
He was my friend and I trusted him.
It took me weeks of sleepless nights building the project. I had a full-time job that time, and I worked on the project during evenings. All went well, and as we reach the {{ completionDate }}, the demo site is already up and running.
A week before the {{ completionDate }}, he hired his new wife as the COO of the startup. It was cool, she keep noticing things on the site which shouldn't be there, and keeps on suggesting sections that has to be there. I was okay with it, until I realized that we are already a month late with the deadline.
Every single hour, I get a message from them like, "it's not working", "when can you finish this feature?", blah blah blah.. and so on.
I got frustrated.
"I want my fucking life back", I told them. No one cared about the {{ completionDate }}, the sleepless zombies they are working with and our payment. They keep on coming up with this "amazing" ass features, and now they are not paying because they said "it's not complete".
Idiot enough to trust a friend. I was unprotected, there was no legal-binding document that states their obligation to pay.
My dev friend and I handed over the project to this web development company which they prefer, and kept a backdoor on the application.
I kind of moved on with the payment issue after a month. But without their knowledge, I kept an eye on the progress and made sure that I still have the access to their server, DNS, etc..
BUT when they announced the official launch on social media, I realized that I was on the wrong train the whole time.
They switched to a different server.
They thanked all the people involved with the project via social media, EXCEPT me and my coding partner who originally built the site from ground up. A little "thank you" note from them will make us feel a little better. But, never happened.
I checked up the site and it was rewritten from originally Laravel 5 to CodeIgniter 1. That is like shifting from a luxury yacht where you can bang some hot chicks, to a row boat where your left hand is holding the paddle whilst your right hand is wanking yourself.
I almost ran out of bullets.
Luckily, CodeIgniter 1 was prone to SQLi by default.
I was able to get the administrator password in plain text and fucked with their data. But that didn't make me feel better because other people's info are involved.
So, I looked for something else to screw with. What I found? A message with the credit card details.
Finally, a chance to do something good for humanity. I just donated a few thousand dollars to different charity websites.3 -
How many programmers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
It doesn't matter. Its a hardware problem not a software problem...1 -
Wondering who all use "theFuck" app? Sometimes it screw things up! Beware :D
https://github.com/nvbn/thefuck
4 -
It's actually safer to use a flat head screwdriver bit to screw and unscrew Phillips head screws than the screwdriver bit that's actually designed for it.. because reasons.
Fuck Phillips heads, they're fucking junk. They're quite a decent match for the shit that consumer electronics often is though... But for anything halfway fucking worth it, why don't we use something like Torx or tri-wing already?! Or rather, anything that isn't Phillips or Pozidriv. Anything that doesn't fuck right off when you slightly overtorque it (without stripping the threads) or want to unscrew it.16 -
So, a few words about this setup :
- I am not Portuguese, my girlfriend got this poster while on a trip
- The second monitor is very old and uses fluorescent tubes. It's shitty and not stylish, but useful at times
- Yes, I use a standalone scanner. Every multifunction printer I've had ended up suiciding itself, and suicided the built in scanner with it. A standalone scanner should be indestructible.
- The case is open because I haven't paid much attention to fans and stuff, so it gets pretty hot when gaming
- Talk about gaming : I dual boot W10/Ubuntu but use the original Gnome DE with Adwaita Dark (I love it). However, W10 is only useful for Lightroom and games. When Steam released proton, I decided to start using Darktable for photo editing in order to ditch Windows once and for all. That will probably happen in the coming months.
- I have not wired my home yet, so I use a router as Wi-Fi receiver.
- The top of the desk is not the original one. It used to be a glass one, but I didn't like the feel and it was too small. So I made a wooden one and painted it with paint my father had left over. However, it ended up looking hideous and sticks to the skin when resting on it for a long time. It has to be changed/fixed.
- The headphones hanger is just a big ass screw, and the headphones jack has been fixed at least a dozen times. I even changed the cable two times.
- The mic is shitty but cost only 8€ on eBay.
2 -
Estimate for writing a custom WordPress plugin:
1 hour - Learn the API the plugin will support
1 hour - Review how plugins are written
60 hours - Set up XAMPP only to find that the version with PHP 7 no longer supports MySQL but something called MariaDB which my host doesn't support and then uninstall XAMPP and install MAMP only to get really frustrated setting it up and beat myself for not just buying that $99 Windows Pro upgrade so I can install Kalabox with HyperV which is much easier than all of this and why doesn't Kalabox have a way of supporting Windows Home because not everyone buys Windows Pro or can afford a Mac or has time to screw around with 100 possible Linux distros to figure out which one will work best and then buy gasoline and matches and set it on fire and watch it all buuuuuuurn such pretty fire.8 -
Hmm..... Do I have time before work tomorrow to watch all 3 matrix movies?
Screw it who cares. Marathon time!!!5 -
tldr:
first year in college we programmed 24 hrs straight to fix somebody's mess before the deadline. Decided not to screw him over, instead he claimed to have done everything and we failed the assignment.
Long version:
var group= new[]{"Mike", "Gavin", "Gus", "I", "Ben" };
var client = "Jack"';
First year of college we had an assignment to make a web program for somebody.
Ben wanted to join our group and he already knew a client so we let him join.
After joining Ben wanted to be project lead, but we already decided Mike based on his experience.
Ben claimed to be much better in every way than Mike at and kept coming with stuff the following weeks why we should make him project lead. He kept pointing out when Mike did something wrong and he even came with an audio file where he clearly made jack say that he wanted Ben to be project lead .
After that we were all a bit pissed and told him that he should get it in his head that he was not going to be project lead and just start working on his part of the assignment.
We also found out that Ben was a documentation addict, what we could write in a small paragraph, he wrote a whole page about it. No joke, I rewrote a page of his in 5-6 rows with the same information in it.
No problem you thing, wrong! Because of this he kept bothering us arguing and claiming that our documentation was wrong because it was to short.
In the week of the deadline we asked Ben if he was also done, and told us that he was done for a while now.
The day before the deadline we came to school thinking we only had to do some merging and finishing up documentation.
Then we found out that Ben has almost nothing, and what he had the IDE was screaming that it was incorrect, spaces in Id's and css class names for instance. A really good programmer, my ass!
We were so pissed off at this point, but we had 24 hrs and needed to come up with a plan to fix it.
We decided that Mike and I were going to fix Ben his shit in the coming 24 hrs and Ben was going to make our last bit of documentation because we would not have the time for that, Especially if we had to argue with him like we had to do for each bit of documentation. Gus did not have time and Gavin could not program on his own yet, he wanted to help, but helping him help us would cost more time than we had.
We all went home after that and Mike and I started to program 24 hours straight while in a Skype call, making what Ben had 2 months for. Shortly before the deadline Mike looked at our finishing up documentation received from Ben and told me it was "Okay" and zipped everything up and uploaded it to school with a few minutes to spare.
After that we thought everything was good, we made Ben's part work and delivered it in time. We also decided not to throw Ben under the bus, because this would hurt all our grades because we did not work good as a group since we should have noticed it earlier.
A few weeks go by till the assessment.
The assessment start with asking if we want individual grades or as a group when you all think you did equal amount. We choose as a group, because if we chose individual not only Ben but also Gavin would get a lower grade and we did not think that was fair because he tried so hard.
We demo the product and the teachers are positive. When the teachers start about the documentation, the first thing they tell is that they found something interesting in the documentation, and they read it to us:
"I, Ben, have made all the documentation because my group did not want to."
That was so far from the truth, we all did make our documentation about the parts we made. Yes he did do overall a little bit more because every single bit of documentation we had to argue with him, so every time he volunteers to make it, we would all agree. And he made Mike's and i's last bit of documentation.
Telling the teachers on that point would not have mattered, it would only have hurt is in another way, so we did not and all failed the assignment. And we all felt like to strangle him.
This is now a few years back, but i still want too.1 -
So I ended up installing Arch Linux as the primary OS in my laptop, and to be honest, I'm not very crazy about it. Because I'm someone who likes an elegant UX, I spent three days and over 50 reboots and 5 reinstalls just trying to get Plymouth to work correctly (in the end, I just said screw it and gave up.) I know, I probably messed something up in the installation or configuration, but I didn't really want to deal with it anymore.
I'm not a big fan of the pacman package manager; I prefer apt. There were several applications I couldn't get to work properly, such as Steam, the Tor Browser, and Wine. All in all, I've basically wasted a week trying to get Arch Linux to work as the daily driver on my laptop, but I guess it's just not the distro for me.
I'm going to give Arch one last shot with the Manjaro distro. I'm hoping that Manjaro's simplified installation and configuration will produce a more usable (in my case) OS, and if not, I'll probably be going back to something Debian-based.
I'm not at all saying Arch is a bad distro. I know many people use it as their daily driver, and I have absolutely no problem with that. I'm not writing this to debate which distro is better, I'm just writing about my experience with it. Arch just may not be the distro for someone like me. At least I gave it a shot, right?10 -
Most painful code error you've made?
More than I probably care to count.
One in particular where I was asked to integrate our code and converted the wrong value..ex
The correct code was supposed to be ...
var serviceBusMessage = new Message() {ID = dto.InvoiceId ...}
but I wrote ..
var serviceBusMessage = new Message() {ID = dto.OrderId ...}
At the time of the message bus event, the dto.OrderId is zero (it's set after a successful credit card transaction in another process)
Because of a 'true up' job that occurs at EOD, the issue went unnoticed for weeks. One day the credit card system went down and thousands of invoices needed to be re-processed, but seemed to be 'stuck', and 'John' was tasked to investigate, found the issue, and traced back to the code changes.
John: "There is a bug in the event bus, looks like you used the wrong key and all the keys are zero."
Me: "Oh crap, I made that change weeks ago. No one noticed?"
John: "Nah, its not a big deal. The true-up job cleans up anything we missed and in the rare event the credit card system goes down, like now. No worries, I can fix the data and the code."
<about an hour later I'm called into a meeting>
Mgr1: "We're following up on the credit card outage earlier. You made the code changes that prevented the cards from reprocessing?"
Me: "Yes, it was my screw up."
Mgr1: "Why wasn't there a code review? It should have caught this mistake."
Mgr2: "All code that is deployed is reviewed. 'Tom' performed the review."
Mgr1: "Tom, why didn't you catch that mistake."
Tom: "I don't know, that code is over 5 years old written by someone else. I assumed it was correct."
Mgr1: "Aren't there unit tests? Integration tests?"
Tom: "Oh yea, and passed them all. In the scenario, the original developers probably never thought the wrong ID would be passed."
Mgr1: "What are you going to do so this never happens again?"
Tom: "Its an easy addition to the tests. Should only take 5 minutes."
Mgr1: "No, what are *you* going to do so this never happens again?"
Me: "It was my mistake, I need to do a better job in paying attention. I knew what value was supposed to passed, but I screwed up."
Mgr2: "No harm no foul. We didn't lose any money and no customer was negativity affected. Credit card system may go down once, or twice a year? Nothing to lose sleep over. Thanks guys."
A week later Mgr1 fires Tom.
I feel/felt like a total d-bag.
Talking to 'John' later about it, turns out Tom's attention to detail and 'passion' was lacking in other areas. Understandable since he has 2 kids + one with special-needs, and in the middle of a divorce, taking most/all of his vacation+sick time (which 'Mgr1' dislikes people taking more than a few days off, that's another story) and 'Mgr1' didn't like Tom's lack of work ethic (felt he needed to leave his problems at home). The outage and the 'lack of due diligence' was the last straw.1 -
Background: I'm on autism spectrum so I get anxious easily and social situations just generally fuck me up. I also have social anxiety disorder. Well, it's just an extension of my ASD really. Making phone calls in uncertain situation is the worst thing ever and I do not do it.
F*ck Microsoft certification exams. I applied for exam accommodations due to my background. (Someone is constantly watching you, you can't move even your eyes off the screen, yeah, screw that. I need to fidget/stim a lot.)
Got accepted. Now I just need to reserve an exam time THROUGH PHONE.
Someone reeeaaally didn't think this through. Normal exam can be reserved online. >.>1 -
That the most important thing in any project is to first make sure YOU have understood what the customer/management wants and that THEY have understood what you are going to do.
Seen so many projects (other people's and my own) go down the drain because people had false expectations.
Also, good management is enormously important for any medium-sized endeavour. I cannot count how often I have seen mediocre to bad middle management screw things up, and devs pull off overnighters and 60+hours work weeks for this super-important project that then goes to the bin because "it turned out to be not so important in the end, sorry."1 -
I recently started using Linux on my desktop.
I just love how when I see some minor thing I don't like about the operating system I can just change it myself!
Want to remove the menu icon? Simple change to the settings. Want your downloads folder to be clean? Simple cron job which asks you if you want to clean your downloads folder every day.
Man I love having the freedom to screw up my operating system!9 -
I forget to commit changes when I get something working. Then regret it when I monumentally screw something up and have nothing to fall back on2
-
TIL Python doesn't really give a fuck about semicolons -.-
So after spending the past couple years almost exclusively using C# and Unity I decided to come back* to Python for no real reason except wanting a change of pace.
I almost ripped my hair out backspacing semicolons I kept putting in out of force of habit after having worked in C# for so long
Well guess what... I just learned (purely by accident)... Python couldn't care less. I feel internal conflict if that makes sense.
TBH now I'm randomly putting in semi-colons at the end of some statements just because I can and I want to abuse this freedom ^_^
Yeah yeah it's not very "pythonic" or pretty but screw that
* I started programming in Python back in high-school but switched over to C# + Unity after graduating and pursuing indie-gamedev.
Note: After some searching I realize you can use semicolons to have multiple statements on the same line but I never really needed to do that during my time with Python so I didn't even remember it was even a thing
6 -
All hail database backups.
Today my worst development related nightmare happened, I managed to screw a production database at work.
Thankfully we had a backup from 2 hours ago, I’ve never been so thankful to scheduled backups.
Take it from me, do backup your databases even if it’s annoying to do.
Piece and merry Christmas ✌️1 -
This fucking weather. Oh this fucking weather. Neither can you go out, nor can you code. WHY THE FUCK WAS I BORN TO BURN IN THE TROPICS?
Feels like among all the assholes, the Sun likes to screw me the most.
FUUUUCCCCCCKKKKK THIS SHIT. FUCK IT.
FUCK YOU SUN FUCK OFFFFFFFF!! TAKE SOME LIME JUICE AND FUCK YOU BEFORE THE WINTER ARRIVES.13 -
(I'll give some context before the rant: I'm part if the IT department of a manufacturing company (actually I'm 1/2 of the department), and all the applications (old an new - except the ones used on production line) used in the company are my responsibility, that including most of databases too... Also, English isn't my native language so there will be some words or phrases that I'll probably write wrong... Sorry for that, if there are any corrections, I'll be glad to hear them)
So...
There will be an implementation of new "control point" on the "shipping department" which consists on a electromechanical equipment controlled by a PLC. And despite the original concept was a collaboration between 2 departments (we, IT, and Production Control), I was never taken in consideration about anything of the project... To be fair, I forget about its existence until two weeks ago.
So, a few days I learned that there are a huge delay regarding the original deadline (mainly because the supplier was delayed with the delivery of their system), and since two weeks (less, actually, because some holydays in between) I'm learning how to integrate that "P.o.S" into an existing application on a PC using a serial communication (not the main problem, as I've done that before... With another brand of PLC's) while avoiding buying any additional software (to get the communication done and in a easy way) and that sort of things... But discovering in the process that it will be necessary to acquire such additional SW in order to finish the job ASAP.
When suddenly I get the "news" that it's almost all my duty (and responsibility) to meet the original deadline, because it doesn't matter how the other departments screw all the schedule, it's the job of IT to get the shit done in time... And what is worst: they didn't said that in such straight manner, no, the implied it while making a quick test with the general manager.
I mean, WTF? Besides doing a "respectable" number of "user support" activities in a dialy basis, I also need to manage the activities of other departments? And also fix their screw ups on a schedule that I just learned days before?
And also there is a coworker (one of whom screwed up) that, almost every time she see me, is asking "how much until you'll finish?"
As I read on a meme years ago: "please, give patience, because if you give strength, I'll need bail money too..."
Damn... I don't know of the benefits of this work are worth all this nonsense -
How to fucking unscrew this little shit.
I was able to unscrew the rest just fine. But just when I'm down to the last remaining screw, this lone fucker decides to put on a fecken feight.
I already tried everything. I used a screwdriver that fits perfectly. Rotated it for god knows how long. Attached a strong magnet to amplify the screwdriver's magnetic fuckery. Tried unscrewing upside down to add gravitational force. Tried chopsticking the fuck outta it. Slapped the back of it like I slap rice sacks in supermarkets. Ran physics simulations on a supercomputer. Still won't come off.
(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻
It's just there, looking like it's about to come off with a dip of a magnetic screwdriver but IDK WHY IT WON'T COME OFFKZKKXJZJKZ!!1
You wanna put on a fight? Fine. Resist while you still can. Because once you come off, oh ho... I'm gonna do bad things to you fucker. Imma screw you in your hole till your head spins like crazy. (To screw it back ofc.)
10 -
After ages of waiting for it too install, i finally managed to update my kernel to the latest version.
And i know its not good to have a unstable kernel but screw you.
6 -
anytime anyone asks me to write a solution to fizzbuzz - i do it in brainfuck because even if i screw up...no one knows. :P
++++++++++[>++++++++++<-]>>++++++++++>->>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>-->+++++++[->++
++++++++<]>[->+>+>+>+<<<<]+++>>+++>>>++++++++[-<++++<++++<++++>>>]++++
+[-<++++<++++>>]>>-->++++++[->+++++++++++<]>[->+>+>+>+<<<<]+++++>>+>++
++++>++++++>++++++++[-<++++<++++<++++>>>]++++++[-<+++<+++<+++>>>]>>-->
---+[-<+]-<[+[->+]-<<->>>+>[-]++[-->++]-->+++[---++[--<++]---->>-<+>[+
+++[----<++++]--[>]++[-->++]--<]>++[--+[-<+]->>[-]+++++[---->++++]-->[
->+<]>>[.>]++[-->++]]-->+++]---+[-<+]->>-[+>>>+[-<+]->>>++++++++++<<[-
>+>-[>+>>]>[+[-<+>]>+>>]<<<<<<]>>[-]>>>++++++++++<[->-[>+>>]>[+[-<+>]>
+>>]<<<<<]>[-]>>[>++++++[-<++++++++>]<.<<+>+>[-]]<[<[->-<]++++++[->+++
+++++<]>.[-]]<<++++++[-<++++++++>]<.[-]<<[-<+>]+[-<+]->>]+[-]<<<.>>>+[
-<+]-<<] -
Why is it that you guys are not seeing the big picture and reading between the fucken lines... why is it that people always have to run to legislation to fix their problems .... THIS IS WHY.. the other generation accomplished so much more because when there’s a problem they came up with a solution many times better than the status quo.
Those people are few and far between now.. those folks are the innovators. You know whom I’m referring to... those people didn’t whine to create laws to fix or protect their industry from competitors.
We need to stop looking toward our government to fix our issues... especially regarding this issue.. WHY because the people in government ARE NOT TECH PEOPLE!!! THEY DONT EVEN KNOW HOW COMPUTERS WORK! for Pete’s sake folks we had a lady in there who thought the term whip the server ment to literally clean it with a rag... come-on guys, do what they did years ago you don’t like something FIX IT.. by creating something new!
There’s a reason our grandparents generation made it to the fucken moon with less technology than a calculator, BECAUSE THEY PROBLEM SOLVED!
What have we achieved in the last 5 years that is really “big”... fucken apps
Unite together build the next internet learning from the issues we’ve seen with the internet over the last 30 years.. No it won’t be quick no it won’t be easy but nothing revolutionary is easy.
It took 6 years to land a man on the moon, I think we can rebuild the network infrastructure in that time OR FAR LESS if we unite together! Without the government interference we can eliminate the ISPs from the equation and screw them over for screwing us for so long
My group is has the solution, the vision and need, to get this done be we can’t do it alone I will make the official public statement within 24 hours of the vote results...
explaining everything, the plan, the work, EVERYTHING.
We need more people.
For reference the plan can be summarized like this.. nonprofit CoOp Tier 1 ISP.. members being the end users from both sides of the equation ...
TILL THEN
Contact me here,
Or SnapChat: theqsolution
Until I release all the contact info.4 -
So how many programmers it take to screw in a lightbulb?
- None
( Lightbulb is a class which got method screw(), so it can screw itself 😉 ) -
I have some phone interviews coming up next week but I've never had these before. Usually I do online tests, shared code, or in person as I'm deaf.
This time I just want to try using a voice relay, so v basically whatever the person says it's transcribed... So wondering what do you actually talk about in these "quick calls"?
Party of the reason I don't like phone is because there are a lot of technical terms which will probably screw it up... But just wanted to give it a try and not 100% interested this time...
Was intending to, applied, then other things came up so now not so sure, some came back so just gonna wing it for the experience I guess1 -
Great week, been super productive and very happy about.
*wild junior boss appears*
"You should have done it differently! You didn't know it and it's your fault for not asking me about stuff you didn't know existet. I often screw things up and blame others, but i made the boss like me so it's okay. And since i lost my spine some time ago, i will now go suck my own dick and feel awesome . "
Not sure that is exactly what he said, but he meant it. -
"Expenses Graph of That Time I Tried Running Kubernetes On A Cloud Service" -2019, artist unknown (colorized)
If you look closely, you can get an impression of the moment of "screw this, I'll look at it some other time".
4 -
My friends have a group on telegram named geek squad but they haven't add me cause apparently I'm not geek enough:/
It hurt my feelings:/
But screw them I'll be a geek on my own time.3 -
That moment when you go to your web development lab, write ES6 JS and your teacher tells you you are doing it wrong.
"That's not going to work in JS!"
You know something? SCREW YOU OLD MAN! 😕😠😑2 -
Just because I am a night owl and arrive late to your fucking meeting at 1100am, it does not mean I am shit head and trying to save out of office. Then why did you fucker shift my meeting an hour before and screw up my whole day. Fuck you asshole.
-
When you are waiting for something to screw up the whole day so you can rant about it on devRant, but everything goes well. :(
-
I seriously hate it when people expect me to know every. Single. Thing. About their computer just because I know how to format a usb... Honestly I think the lack of formal computer education in schools (at least in America) is gonna screw us over in the long run...🤔1
-
How many developers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Who gives a fuck the jokes been done before -
Client: The new page template you sent us looks different on production compared to the other pages that use the same component.
Me: Oh, that's strange since the styling is at the component level. Hmm, let me dig in to it.
Start poking around trying to figure out what I managed to screw up only to find that it looks exactly the same on local and staging. Eventually find another style sheet the client is importing on the production site to change some of the styles.
You know, a change that isn't anywhere to be found in the repo, and no one ever asked for anything to be changed. Their "Dev" decided he would hack in a fix instead of shooting me an email.
Apparently he tried changing the SCSS file but the changes weren't showing up. He changed the minified stylesheet but his changes were overwritten on the next deployment..... #howdoesSASSwork?!
Same client as my last rant so I'm not sure why I'm surprised by this. Oh well, I'll take that hourly rate.1 -
"SAVE WHEN IT WORKS!" it's the note that I have on my desk since I didn't commit changes on a project, neither saved it locally and kinda screw that one entirely.
-
My favourite dev tool? I would't be able to do my work without any tool, which's in the list. I love IntelliJ IDEA & Webstorm, Java, JavaFX, Maven, Git & Gitlab, TeamCity, Upsource, YouTrack, Artifactory, wtf that list's kinda the complete tech stack. But I completly hate AWT & Swing (AWT fucks up on my Linux install, such a frame creates in about 10-20 seconds, if you test the app locally, you loose approximately 15 seconds per minute, and Swing uses AWT internally too), I hate Gradle (screw Google for standardizing it), and so on. Wow that's like my complete tech stack, what the fuck happend? The question was one tool, help me.1
-
Trying to replace the WiFi card in my laptop only to find out the ONE screw holding it in is completely stripped on the top and I can't get it out 😢6
-
#!/usr/bin/env python
# -*- coding: utf-8 -*-
from rant import depression as fuck
from WhiskeyBottle import *
import time
while bottle.contents > 0.0 and time.datetime():
fuck.rant()
Yeah ok, this will be one of a few, but I'll try to keep it short. Damn, whiskey is not helping. Nor various smokables.
So yeah, have you ever had a dream? I consider myself a gamer the whole life, always loved creative worlds, dynamics, mechanics, plots, stuff you could and couldn't do. To the point I promised myself I'd make a game - NAH - I'll be making games in the future. You know, good games, that you come back to. Like Doom. Or those porn games.
Never went to Uni or nothing. Was born in a poor European country with Internet more broken than my soul right now. Years later, after acquiring some good hardware, learning a bunch of languages, Unity, Unreal Engine 4 and experimenting for about 10 years now with small scripts, apps and mini-games I've come to this realization.
I only made one "full" "game" in my life, and that was when I was like 16 in Klik & Play (early Game Maker). And it was shit. It was horrible, horrible shit. It literally makes you want to cry when you play it. It's 16-bit brain cancer. And it's the best I've ever published.
Now I've been through countless prototypes, none of which I've developed any further. I had ideas, plans, even made some more advanced roadmaps and dev cycles. Estimated costs, time, mechanics, gameplay hooks.
I never finish anything.
I get bored. Frustrated sometimes. There's always an improvement, something that "if I'd finish that it would be it! Screw this thing I was working on now, THAT will be worth sacrificing it." It's tiresome. I'm getting old.
And honestly, I don't know how people do it anymore. Trying to compromise those side-projects (they take all my free time which is not much) and work is just... draining. I'm losing hope. Maybe I shouldn't be allowed into the gamedev world after all. Maybe I'll just pump half-assed pieces of crap everybody will hate.
Or worse, nobody will care.7 -
I hate it when you actually buy a template and it turns out things only align when your images and text are a certain length.
Dear designer no, my images are not all 200 x 200. Screw you :)4 -
When the pull request
1. has 100s of files with commit messages that make a very little sense
2. has the source files sprinkled with duplicate looking code having enough differences to screw my visual diffing ability
3. has too many changes combined when they can be independently reviewed and merged
4. includes me as the sole approver when I don't have enough context on the changes
5. includes references to tickets without any description, justification for the change, testing methodologies, test results, performance metrics comparison, etc. Literally none. It is as if the developer wants me to work with them from the Beginning1 -
!dev && rant
Looking for a song's lyrics... A very complicated task apparently. Blinding Lights by The Weeknd for whoever's interested.
Firefox: just one small thing to keep going, sorry we just updated our CA certs again. Screw you, close the browser. I will not restart it for you but I will tell you that I would. When you restart the browser, you will lose whatever search you were just doing. Sucks for you bastard! Enjoy the update.
Go to Genius Lyrics, please turn on JavaScript to run this "app". Done that? Okay now solve this CAPTCHA please. Um.. let me just leave that ingenious site.
Next one, AZ Lyrics: Yeah sorry your IP is from a hosting provider, but we will not tell you that is the reason. You've just been denied access to the site. See you next time! Everyone using a VPS to make a VPN connection with is obviously an abuser after all.
Finally found the lyrics on lyrics.com after a long journey that was way more complicated than it should've been. It's a good song.
Oh and Firefox consumed well over a GB for just a single tab of course...
I want Gopher, BBS, IRC and the likes back.4 -
I’m in a high-stress work situation where the organization is way too reliant on me to maintain day-to-day operations. We’re working on hiring a second person for my role, but it’s likely to take six months to find someone and get them on board.
And I’m afraid that I’m burning out now. I’m tired all the time and grumpy. Worse, in the last couple weeks I seem to be losing the ability to think. I’ll read an email and be unable to make sense of the words, or unable to figure out what to do with it – it’s just a blank white fog in my brain where I should have words and ideas and next steps. My productivity is less than half what it should be, and I’m horribly embarrassed and ashamed of myself.
I’m taking sick days and leaving work early when I can, which helps a bit, but not enough. I’m also doing all the recommended self-care stuff – diet, sleep, exercise. I’m scheduling a doctor’s appointment for next week.
I have a very good boss, which is the only reason I haven’t said screw it all and bought a one-way plane ticket to Tahiti. (I hear it’s a magical place.) Any thoughts on how to approach this with him? Under normal circumstances I’d try to arrange for some vacation time, but I’m afraid a week or two of rest isn’t going to fix the problem, just delay it a while. Any substantial amount of time off is going to really hurt my department. They may need to bring in someone to cover for me, which would be very expensive. I’m afraid it’d destroy my reputation as someone who can be relied on. What options do I have? What should I be doing next?1 -
Funny topic. I normally am very understanding of incompetence when it comes from nothing more than lack of experience. Happens to all who at one point is a junior dev.
As long as people have the willingess to learn I find myself being very understanding.
I take a lot of effort in helping others, I don't mind at all, and I would rather take them extra 10 mins to explain how to do something than to slap people with rtfm and then blame them completely when their lack of experience messes up stuff. I also take care of providing isolated environments and giving explanations. Even when they screw up, it is isolated from the rest and I can teach them what was wrong, most of the time they figure it out themselves. It has made my coworkers respect me more, rather than being a total dick that believes that what I do is sacred and should be spared from newbs (like all the idiots in S.O) i take the approach of a very patient mentor.
But I am a hippie, shit works for me.
But I do not excuse shitty attitudes and arrogance. I find that not knowing is fine, but acting as if one knows all and then fucking shit up makes it bad.
Which is when I change, I am a hippie but can get violent pretty quickly.
I have been screwed over shitty attitudes more than incompetence. -
So, I got an iFixIt toolkit with a gift card from xmas. Was excited to tear into my iPhone6 given that it had lasted me a long time, and not that long ago, I had the screen repaired given I didn't know how to at the time and was working stupid long hours. I haven't used the phone in about 6 months now.
Wtf.
I open the device, and immediately 2 screws and a bracket fall out of the device. The inside is filthy, and appears to have corrosion (despite the fact I've never gotten water on it, I was kinda anal with that phone).
Whoever the guy was who "fixed" my screen apparently did so in a way that involved spilling something on my phone, over torquing a screw, breaking a bracket, and the entire thing looks sketch.
All while charging over $100. I can see why he insisted on having an otterbox on the phone now, he fucked up and was worried the one screw pin wouldn't hold the screen on. Motherfucking asshole.1 -
I've been sort of lost after New Year's...
Last few years, my main goal was just to learn stuff to pass technical interviews. I also did a lot of personal dev in C#... and played with the js, python, and when a bit of c++.
But this year I kinda feel sorta of "ah screw it". Interviews never work out, haven't for years, what's the point in even trying... I get paid enough though the work is sort boring and team sort of feels like the Wild West, no rules, code reviews, processes...
But ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Feels like coding has lost its place at the top now. The future is all cloud, machine learning, big data/real time analytics but feels like these are out of reach for just 1 guy...
And well doesn't seem like anyone is going to give me a job because I'm not a good fit or have enough experience in these areas...
Sorta lost now but guess this is what a sudden thought leads to...
Oh and maybe just with tech in general. It feels this year I'm just not as interested as I was before... Spent a lot of time binge watching movies and stuff instead....4 -
// first rant
So this isn't really a "dev" rant but I'm a developer taking my first ever design class. It's a senior level, group based class where we design a mobile OS from the ground up, using any inspiration we like. I love it because I'm the developer and designer for all of the Android apps I've worked on so far. I get to practice my design skills and have a portfolio addition. Neat! It's a pretty easy class too.
But my group. Oh God my group.
I spent a week and a half designing the style guide and it was jam packed with anything we'd need. Typography, icons, rationales, you name it!
But noooo, they can't use it because it's not in sketch. As a Windows user, this is infuriating. So three weeks go by and all this work is done that's SUPER INCONSISTENT. Bad colors, elements off by 3px... I mean even the font sizes are just 1 or 2 off. Seriously, I wish I could just be frank with them and tell them to put in the 1% effort to make it right. It's really not that hard. I just don't want to screw up the peace in my group..2 -
I bought a domain and need some styling suggestions.
it basically demonstrates how language barriers can hurt communication (and I want to screw over google)
so, it takes a phrase and translates it to a bunch of random languages with google translate to see how messed up it gets.
the link is:
https://translationiteration.com
READ BEFORE CLICKING: i still have an unresolved bug with php cookies and sessions so once the page loads, just press refresh ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
so now i need some styling suggestions, and advertiser suggestions (i’m thinking media.net) who respect user privacy and are contextual.
comment :)
p.s. does anyone still say advert or am I the only one ? 🙃19 -
Fought with the Windows Disk Manager for way too long this morning trying to shrink a partition with plenty of space so that I could setup a native dual boot...
Screw that tool, I resized the partition to nothing by formatting it.6 -
!Dev
As a something-designer and content writer, you would say I am pretty much used with people stealing my ideas and then bragging with them, right? Well, yeah, but not when I am fucking backstabbed by my OWN FUCKING ASSHOLE-FIANCE (hi, hun).
In our little depressing family, I am the one with ideas. One day he starts to work at a little very basic app and he starts bragging with it at me (mostly disrupting me while working). So I start giving him ideas based on what he experienced at work and what he could add to this management app so nobody will get the same shit as he did + several things + I basically designed it from scratch, how it should look, what it should do, who should access what etc. Anyway, he starts implementing them and then I told him „Well this is nice, how about we sell it”. I advise him on what kind of possible clients he should search for and how to negotiate and etc. Well, he goes to a meeting with somebody interested in this application, after, he calls me back AND HE HAD THE NERVE TO SAY THIS TO ME :
- Good news, MY APPLICATION would lead us in*blabla* market.
BITCH, YOU BETTER SLAP YOURSELF `CAUZ EXCEPT FOR THE CODE THAT SHIT IS MINE ALMOST FROM SCRATCH. SO SCREW YOU AND YOUR FUCKING NEED TO SUCK YOUR OWN DICK.
(i said that to him on the phone)19 -
A dev found a bug I created where I set a SQL parameter name to @OrderID instead of the expected @Order. The standard is @OrderID, there is one stored proc where it's @Order.
Oops...I didn't catch it because the integration test didn't cover that area of the code. My mistake...I should have checked...I take complete responsibility for the screw up.
He let me know by email..
"When refactoring, from now on check the stored procedure parameters, there are a few that don't follow the standard."
I was like "from now on..."? ...wow....bold comment from someone responsible for code that doesn't check for nulls, doesn't log errors, and relies on exceptions for flow control. You wouldn't even have known about the error if I didn't modify your code to log the error (the try..except returned false)
I really wanted to reply ...
"Fixed. From now on, when you come across those easily found bugs, go head and fix it, write a test, and move on. Don't send a condescending email to me, my boss, your boss, all the DBAs, and the entire fracking order processing team. Thanks."
But..I thanked him for finding and letting me know...we're a team..blah blah blah..
Frack..people suck.1 -
macOS fuckup continued. Today I used a camelcase name for some new file and a directory. Later I didn't like it and wanted to change to lowercase. Pushed it to bitbucket: now I had both versions! Hold my goji berries, what's going on? Maybe some git config screw up? After a bit of fiddling I remembered an old Linus' rant on Apple's file system when they wanted to adopt case insensitivity. So wait, did they actually do that shit? I thought I was on a unixoid, bastardized BSDish system, that apart from all the oddities that Apple bestowed on it, that there was still some sanity left... But, no there isn't. AFP really defaults to case insensitivity.
I have no words.
So switched to my Debian, where I resolved the duplication in two secs. Now Linux feels even much more comfy and home.29 -
I don't like it when my brain goes on a self conflicting spree after I fix a bug.
*** Fixes a bug and commits ***
Oh wait, it works but what if this happens? It'll break.
*** Thinks more on the correct solution this time ***
Oh wait, what I did was right! NVM.
*** Another situation comes to mind ***
Start thinking again. Same outcome.
Go through this a couple of times.
Aah, screw it. Will see when it breaks!3 -
@2lazy2debug Has reminded me that I hadn't posted my desktop as I promised for my 2,000 upvote, so screw it I'll just make it for my 2,500 mark. :P
I'll take not one, but two bowls of rice for this one.
4 -
Got this in Slack from the owner of the firm I work for...
I mean, you already pay me half of the average salary I should be making, but yeah, let me get right on that...
To be fair, I work with this guy because he is a really good guy to work for, is very hands-off (no micro-managing), doesn't expect me to work on the clock or any overtime and lets me make all the calls with our directions in development. Plus he pays me all he can afford, so it's not like he's trying to screw me (he shares the books with me to prove it).
But still, the dude has to realize you get what you pay for. You don't go to McDonalds if you want a gourmet burger...
2 -
And a big fuck you to sony mobile, I hope you die soon.
TLDR: sent a weeks old phone for repair to Sony, they asked 450€ because according to their "experts" chassis was bent and main board was busted besides the obvious screen and touch being broken.
It costed less than 400€ including vat.
Out of spite I ordered a replacement screen for 55€, and it's fucking working again, thanks a lot for the offer but I still can replace an lcd myself. Screw your warranty policies, you made a phone that slips like a wet soap.
I've owned xperias all my life, Arc, U, M, Z1 besides all the dumb phones manufactured by Sony/Ericsson.
Guess I'm finding a new brand very soon.4 -
So I'm rebuilding my personal site, creating a nice layout, etc. I only just thought about checking how it looks in ie. That horrible bastard browser just fucks up the layout, and I'm not sure why some css rules don't even seem to fucking work. Probably gonna say screw it and not support ie, but it still sucks.7
-
Had a teacher in high school who ordered us to learn MS Access, even tho most of us already knew MySQL... It was to learn about relations and the likes...
We spend way to long on that subject, because most of really didn't find the Access interface intuitive and she had to walk from table to table helping...
The only two finished the task where those who say screw it and used MySQL 😅 -
So I had this assignment for a subject at University about semaphores in C. The theme was "Friend's dinner out" and it had 3 entities and yadda yadda...
The innocent me made this montage of a chef (one of the entities) with a semaphore in his hand and put it in the first page of the report for that assignment.
Until this point, all ok, or so I thought...
The moment I show my report to my friends they burst out laughing and say I literally just created a meme and sent it to a "not so cool" teacher.
They find it hilarious.
Right now I'm nervously waiting for the assignment grades to be published.
Did I screw up my report and thus my assignment?
5 -
TL;DR: my boss is a dick and I don't know what to do.
Been working at the company for a month now, I enjoy the atmosphere and the culture (startup btw) but I really cannot stand my superior - there's only two of us in the team. Any screw up he blames it on me without a second thought. First week in he assigned their new website project to me and honestly they have quite unrealistic deadlines. I mean they didn't even have the infrastructure for it nor the manpower to build one yet it needs to be finished by the end of this month. On top of that the spec keeps changing literally every 2-3 hours.
Also since I've forgotten to mention the guy I'm working under is one of the founders so I can't really go and talk to someone about it. I feel pretty screwed over, anyone has any advice or been in a situation like this? Is it too early to quit?1 -
!rant && anxiousness
So, I applied for several jobs because I started hating my current job and the boss.
On my CV and motivation letter I really only wrote stuff I am confident enough with to show if someone would ask me.
I only have 2.5 years of work experience and a B.Sc.
In 3 days I already got 2 answers out of 3 companys, I applied at, who would like to meet me.
Tomorrow is the first meeting.
Now I am anxious that I might still not live up to my CV or motivation letter although I know that I use the techniques mentioned there daily.
I fear that I might be not as good as they might think now, even feel like I know nothing at all.
I never really believed I would fall in the imposter syndrome trap, but here it is.
Any advice? I really want to find another job and I don't want to screw up the interview because I am too nervous.4 -
Soon to finish my CompSci degree and already have been invited to relatives for dinner... And IT-support...
(They had statically set their NAS to the same IP as the router and lost it)
I guess its time to prepare for the onslaught of screw-ups I'll be asked to fix.5 -
Setting up a Haskell environment on Windows is fucking AIDS. Guess I'll screw it and just use ANTLR for my compiler.6
-
Let's say you have a business that is 100% gonna get canceled from lots of internet infrastructure services because reasons. Let's say you decided "Screw it. I'm gonna build all my own infrastructure and services from the ground up and deliver all my digital content to millions, including broadband video, apps, gaming, devices, etc."
A) Is that even remotely possible?
B) If money were no object and time were not of the essence, how would you do it?
C) How could that even scale at all if thousands of other businesses did the exact same thing?13 -
"What in the name of hell? Why? No.. absolutely not. Jeeeesus. Holy cow!! Haha.. that's funny. No friggin way! Oh that makes sense..wait, that makes no sense. Screw it I give up."
-
A little example of how recriutment in IT works.
Mechanic gets a live mechanic skill test to get a job, as he really wants this job because of lack of money he asks recriuter couple of questions.
Mechanic: do I need to bring my own tools ?
HR: no everything will be provided in place
Mechanic: what would I do during this test ?
HR: everything will be explained just before the test I’m not an engineer so engineer will explain everything to you
The test day, mechainc goes to the test place and the recriuter says:
Recruiter: Your first task is really simple, please tighten those screws, you have 10 minutes
Mechanic: But I don't see the screw driver
Recriuter: I can't say to you how to do it, you figure something out
Mechanic somehow manages to tighten those screws using his belt
Recriuter: Ok so now tell me what force is needed to unscrew them and tell me if you did good if I’d say you need to tighten 1 million screws
Mechanic: I just want to do my job
Recruiter: Hey we are looking for people with broad experience for this position, of course you wont be asked to do that task but we want to know if you’re capable to do the job if we ask you.
Mechanic: answers the question that he will use tools and what devices he will use to measure the force
Recriuter: Can you write this as a mathematical equation ?
Mechanic: don’t know that
Recruiter: Well we can’t hire you we are looking for someone with more knowledge about the topic
Mechanic: But you keep asking me about the fucking screws
Recruiter: Watch your mouth sir because for me you are junior mechanics, you don’t know how to use proper tools and you barely manage to do the first task in time I would use: started elaborating about tools to tighten many screws at a time in a distributed fashion
Mechanic: but to run those tools I would need more than 10 minutes and besides that those are not here
Recruiter: yes they are, we open those doors to get them before our work you suppose to know that and we use those all the time, it was in job description, besides that it is recommended by company xyz to keep those tools behind blue doors, there is nothing here besides blue doors and room with tools and you didn’t know what blue doors are for, you need to learn the basics first
Mechanic resigns. 90% luck 10% skill
Every fucking time.7 -
When you git cherry-pick for the first time, screw up, rebase-drop, repeat, screw up again, and end up just pasting the correct versions of the files and commiting on top of the branch.
Dirty, but it works.4 -
Screw all the people who think standard email is "secure". It is not suitible for sending passwords and SSN numbers.
How can something Equifax or Marriott hacks have happened and people are still ok sending out information like this in plain text?!
I know their hacks weren't email released but still.....should be a good time to up some security standards. Right?5 -
Client approved a design 2 months ago. I follow the design and build functionality based on the design and on budget.
What does client do... Doesn't want the site built says it doesn't follow their paper catalog. What paper catalog? I never got a paper catalog from design to follow. Three additional weeks later rebuilt the core of the site's functionality. And the final cost is 2.5 times over budget. Screw you Unnamed attorney search engine.2 -
Monday morning we found out our main event queue hadn't processed since late Wednesday afternoon. Shit was hitting the fan and we were stumped. What had changed?!?. Why wasn't the queue processor running?!?
Turns out a server restart had killed the job (no worries there, surely?!) but turns out the job checked for a system flag on disk to stop it running multiple instance or in this case as the flag was still present any instance at all. Got to love the little things that really screw you over.6 -
Fun fact: after iPhone 4’s antennagate (iPhone 4 losing reception when you grip it hard enough) Steve Jobs and Apple didn’t screw people over. They offered free cases that fixed the issue.
6 -
Me: Hey programming languages, is 0 == [ ] ?
PHP: Nope. It's not.
Python: Nope. Easy.
Java: Heh. No it isn't.
Javascript: Oh, um yeah, hurrr durrr harr harr YES it is.
But screw it, hAvE yOu hEaRd oF nExTjS? wE sUpPoRt sQl qUeRiEs nOw.30 -
Why are clients so brain dead?
I've had a client insist for the last two weeks that I provide them with a high level technical specification for fucking OneDrive because our product is able to embed HTML inputted into the CMS.
I've literally had hours of meetings with over a dozen people where I'm trying to explain that just because they're embedding some PowerPoint HTML into our CMS doesn't mean we need to or even can provide technical documents.
This is a huge company with an equity of over £50 billion by the way. I swear the bigger the company the more incompetent the employees get.
Their whole issue stems from one guy not understanding how basic logins and file sharing permissions work + their IT doing security fuckery to screw up which machines can login or access what. So I made and sent them a flow diagram explaining it, out of some naive hope that they'll now leave me alone.
I still don't understand how any of this is my responsibility just because these idiots don't understand that our product is separate from the HTML they've decided to put into the CMS. I don't think any of these people know what they're asking me for when they keep insisting I send them technical documents for a Microsoft owned product that we have nothing to do with.
I'm sure I'll be stuck telling them to talk to their own IT team over and over again as they schedule meetings every few days until the heat death of the universe. Then I'll finally have peace. Either that or somehow one of them finds this post and I get fired.8 -
I took a certification test today that has an accumulative checkpoint score every 15 questions. I needed a 74 to pass the test... Here is a rough timeline of checkpoint scores and my thoughts:
64 - rough start I can recover
71 - OK, still failing but at least the score went up
63 - what the hell??
67 - OMG I am failing this test.
71 - You know, I don't need this job. I can find plenty of other work.
71 - This fucking test is brutal and I hate everyone. OMFG I only have an hour left!
Queue total internal meltdown. My job really depends on this certification.
73 - screw it. I failed. I am guessing from here on out.
77 - Holy shit I have a chance!! Only 25 questions to go. DONT SCREW THIS UP!
77 - YESSSSS My score didn't go down. 10 questions to go.
76 - Holy shit. After 6 month of studying, I passed the most brutal test of my life. ..... Barely. -
Didn't think I had material for a rant but... Oh boy (at least at the level I'm at, I'm sure worse is to come)
I'm a Java programmer, lets get that out of the way. I like Java, it feels warm and fuzzy, and I'm still a n00b so I'm allowed to not code everything in assembly or whatever.
So I saw this video about compilers and how they optimize and move and do stuff with the machine code while generating the executable files. And the guy was using this cool terminal that had color, autocomplete past commands and just looked cool. So I was like "I'll make that for my next project!"
In Java.
So I Google around and find a code snipped that gives me "raw" input (vs "cooked" input) and returns codes and I'm like 😎. Pressing "a" returns 97 (I think that's the ASCII value) and I think this is all golden now.
No point in ranting if everything goes as planned so here is the *but*
Tabs, backspaces and other codes like that returned appropriate ASCII codes in Unix. But in windows, no such thing. And since I though I'd go multiplatform (WORA amarite) now I had to do extra work so that it worked cross platform.
Then I saw arrow keys have no ASCII codes... So I pressed a arrow key and THREE SEPARATE VALUES WERE REGISTERED. Let me reiterate. Unix was pretending I had pressed three keys instead of one, for arrow keys. So on Unix, I had to work some magic to get accurate readings on what the user was actually doing (not too bad but still...). Windows actually behaved better, just spit out some high values and all was good. So two more systems I had to set up for dealing with arrow keys.
Now I got to ANSI codes (to display color, move around the terminal window and do other stuff). Unix supports them and Windows did but doesn't but does with some Win 10 patch...? But when tested it doesn't (at least from what I've seen). So now, all that work I put into making one Unix key and arrow key reader, and same for Windows, flies out the window. Windows needs a UI (I will force Win users, screw compatibility).
So after all the fiddling and messing, trying to make the bloody thing work on all systems, I now have to toss half the input system and rework it to support UI. And make a UI, which I absolutely despise (why I want to do back end work and thought this would be good, since terminal is not too front end).2 -
M so angry at one of my faculties today!!
Basically, the faculty is utter garbage ( although he is supposed to b the best and most experienced guy ). He teaches us data communication but all he does is start up a presentation, read from there and tell that to us adding a thing or two...
Well we have been tolerating him for the entire semester at this point so... whatever, we have come to peace with the fact that we simply attend to get attendance...
But, yesterday, there was a seminar going on and I asked a question to the speaker... the speaker started replying and the faculty interrupted the speaker to crack an ill joke about me... and started laughing... I mean what the hell!!! Ur supposed to be a faculty and THAT is how u behave?!
Anyway, many people laughed... more so because of the way he laughed than his “joke”.
Made me burn with rage but i forgot about it thanks to the seminar being decent.
Today, he was checking our assignments... he became angry and the reason being we didn’t write answers from the presentation and instead used the Internet.
This is what he said:
“ I have given u the presentation and that is exactly where u will write the assignments from... if u wanna use the internet to find the answers, then why do u come to my class!! “
I literally wanted to say - “ to get freaking attendance!! “
Somehow I didn’t... my assignment wasn’t checked today so nothing bad happened...
And btw, the assignments that he gives r 30 terminologies ( words and meanings ),
And nearly 25-30 question answers...
Just go thru the presentation to get all the answers... and this is called “teaching” and “education” !!!! 😠😠😠😠
No research, no understanding, simply do as he says, even in quizzes, even if ur answer is correct but it is not exactly the point he asks, screw u!
He will scold u...
I CAME TO COLLEGE TO LEARN AND UNDERSTAND!!! NOT MUG UP UR STUPID ANSWERS TO PASS IN EXAMS!!!!!!
M now imagining ways to kill him 😠😠😠😠🔥🔥🔥🔥2 -
Has any of you reached a point that you want to resign from work because of a client?
We are dealing with a client at work that uses the app for prototyping instead of making designers create wireframe, imagine the amount of code to write,edit, remove, write it again and yet there is always something isn't right from the client point of view.
What is even worse backend guys screw the server and I am the one to be blamed for errors: 5xx
I even get blamed for error 400 (bad request) when that request passes tests but out of a sudden server returns 400, when you hit refresh the exact same moment of error and server decides to return data and stop throwing error 400.
I also get blamed for server fails to return data from a search endpoint, and if server throws 403 for a public endpoint.
This isn't a rant or getting out of my system but I need opinions, I've been working on this project for a year, with complete mess from either client or backend team, if any of you is instead of me, what would you do?
I'm not a complete guy either, but that situation is just beyond my abilities to handle.6 -
About 5 years ago I stopped pirating and started supporting companies by buying subscriptions or software ( mostly games, apps I use at work, tv shows / movies streaming services ). If it requires payment, I paid the price.
Companies started to screw both customers by delivering shitty products and employees by laying off ( I'm not in a big company, never will be but I feel bad for all the employees that are in this situation )
Started pirating everything, closed almost all of my subscriptions, currently building my home server for git, local ai and anything I need.
Now I'm planning to do some research to find some good replacements for cloudflare and a friendly host provider that is not all greed and doesn't have a history of massively laying off employees just because they overhired or overpromised.
Fuck you greedy capitalist pigs.2 -
Hi guys! I need your help.
I'm currently facing a big decision.
I've got a job offer a couple of days ago. The new job would involve an 80% raise to my current salary, and I would make another step on the hierarchy ladder.
BUT
The new place is not a software development company. They have a small team working on internal stuff, but they are basically maintaining a 12 years old garbage.
My job would be, to design the new system from the ground up. At the moment, the new system has to do the same things as the old one, just faster and better. Then they'd like to extend it further.
The first part is not challenging, but the things that they planned in the future sound interesting.
The problem is, that my current company just got a new contract and I'm supposed to conduct the deploy (speaking with their managers, prepare their sites for installation, and install). And since it is a small startup, the deploy depends highly on me.
If I take the new job, then I have to start in February which ultimately means that I screw my current company real bad. They'll probably survive, but they might lose this contract and/or lose money.
If I do what makes economic sense, then I take the job. (fuck it's almost 2x as much!!) But I have mixed feelings about it.
I've got 48 hours to decide.
What do you guys think?6 -
We take over development of a live customer facing system and PM agrees date for our first code deployment with client CIO
Me: The dev and staging environments don't have any test data currently as the old agency screwed it up
PM: Well you better load some
Me: There isn't any... It'll take 10 days to copy prod db due to hosting provider SLAs, leaving 1 week for SIT, UAT and performance testing (assuming they don't screw up)
PM: Well the date is set, 1 week will be enough for testing2 -
Last rant was about games and graphics cards (admittedly not received too well), time for a rant about game development houses.. especially you EA.
So yesterday a friend of mine showed me in one of our Telegram chats that he'd modified some cheats in an old FPS game by editing these scripts (not Lua for some reason) that the game used as a.. configuration language I guess? He called the result a tank cemetery 🙃
Honestly the game looked a lot like Medal of Honor to stoned me at the time, so I figured, well why not fire up that old nx7010 I had laying around for so long, get a new Debian installation on that and rip the Medal of Honor: Allied Assault war chest that I still had, and play it on one of my more modern laptops? Those CD's are now very old anyway, maybe time to archive those before they rot away.
So I installed Debian on it again, looked up how to rip CD's from the command line, and it seemed that dd could do it - just give /dev/cdrom as the input file, and wherever you want to store your copy as the output file. Brilliant! Except.. uh, yeah. It wasn't that easy. So after checking the CD and finding that it was still pristine, and seeing another CD in that war chest fail just the same, I tried burning and then ripping a copy of Debian onto another CD.. checksummed them and yes, it ripped just fine, bit for bit equal. So what the fuck EA, why is your game such a special snowflake that it's apparently too difficult to even spin up the drive to be copied?
So I looked around on plebbit and found this: https://reddit.com/r/DataHoarder/... - the top comment of that post shattered all my hopes for this disc to be possible to rip. Turns out that DRM schemes intentionally screw up the protocols that make up a functioning disc, and detecting those fuck-ups is part of the actual DRM.
"I also remember some forms of DRM will even include disc mastering errors/physical corruption on the actual disc and use those as a sort of fingerprint for the DRM. The copied ISO has to include them at the exact same place in the ISO as on the IRL disc and the ISO emulator has to emulate the disc drive read errors they cause."
So yeah. Never mind that I already own this goddamn game, and that it's allowed by law to make one copy for personal use, AND that intentionally breaking something is very shady indeed.. apparently I don't really own this game after all. So I went onto the almighty search engines, and instantly found a copy of this game for download. You know EA.. I wanted to play nice. You didn't let me. Still wondering why people do piracy now? Might take your top suits that suggested these fucked up DRM schemes another decade to figure out maybe.. even given the obvious now.
But hey I wouldn't even care that much if the medium these games are stored on wouldn't be so volatile (remember these discs are now close to 20 years old, and data rot sets in after 30 years or so). You company decided to publish these on CD. We've had cartridges in many forms before, those are pretty much indestructible and inherently near impossible to duplicate. And why would you want to? But CD is what you chose because you company were too cheap to go to China, get someone to make some plastic molds and put your board and a memory chip in that. Oh and don't even get me started on the working conditions for game devs.. EA and co, aren't you ashamed of yourselves? No wonder that people hate game development houses so much.
Yay, almost finished downloading that copy of Medal of Honor! Whatever you say EA.. I've done everything I could to do it legally. You are the ones who fucked it up.7 -
When you your computers graphics card keeps crashing the computer.
I get 7 seconds before it crashes. About 5 are used up from typing in password and loading...
The next 2 seconds involve me trying to type in device into start menu... Next I will type in manager.
I am at the anger level where I am saying audibly "I will destroy you" "Arch is next" "Screw you Intel" "You have failed this city"
Real anger rising! 😠😡👈✂🗡🔪🔪🔫🔫🏹⛏🛢🛠🍺🍸🍹☠☡☢📵❌10 -
Me: Yea, Linux is great! Screw Windows!
*Touchpad stops working on startup
Me: It's fine, it could happen on Windows...
*Laptop fans start blasting at 100% during class
Me: It's uhh, probably just a simple thing, nothing to worry about....
*Restarts computer after updating. Screen completely black, even after restarting multiple times.
Me: Oh FFS....4 -
When you have two managers and one of them is trying to screw you into a position on his team even though you have made it clear that you want nothing to do with that type of development.
I am looking for a new job now...3 -
How do you guys fight the urge to just screw it and implement a not so secure way of doing things, when you've been fighting with a bug for weeks?
No one would know!! 😂1 -
Isn't the point of the 20++ receive stickers idea supposed to be an incentive for posting good content?
I've only joined recently and maybe I've missed the point, but I feel like surely people asking for it are just doing it for the stickers, they're not actually contributing to the content here?
Maybe I'm wrong but that's just the vibe I get?
On another note, screw logs (screw me more like). Spent 2 hours completely missing what the error message was trying to tell me and debugging in places I didn't even need to touch.3 -
i had an epiphany today, in a discussion with the software architect of our new project.
i'm having the epic job to design & implement a prototype for a C++ library in a new software project and collected some inspiration in our "old" software, where i'm maintaining the module that fulfills the same functionality (i thought). i've been maintaining this module for around a year now. i analyzed the different features and stuff to consider and created a partial model of the new library.
when i showed it to the architect today, he was like "oh my god, no no no, you don't need all this functionality, this shall not be part of the new library!"
this was the moment when i realized how deeply fucked up the code base of the old module is.
imagine it like this:
you want to automate the process of making yourself a good ol' cup of coffee.
the reasonable thing would be to have
- a smart water boiler where you set parameters water temperature and amount of water to be fetched from the water supply
- a smart coffee bean grinder where you can set type of beans, amount of beans and grinding fineness
- a component where water and ground coffee are joined to brew the coffee, where parameters like duration, pressure etc. are set
- a milk tank where amount of milk, desired temperature and duration / speed of foaming can be set
- a sugar dispenser where amount of applied sugar can be set
- optionally, additional modules with spices, syrup, ice cubes, whatever for your very personal coffee experience
on requesting a coffee, you would then configure and orchestrate all components to your wishes to make you a fine cup of coffee. you can also add routines like "makeCappucchino()", "makeEspresso()", or whatever.
our software is not like this.
it is like this:
- a smart water boiler consisting of submodules that know how to cook water for e.g. "cappucchino with sugar" or for "espresso without sugar, but with milk and ice cubes"
- 5 smart bean grinders that know how to grind beans for e.g. cappucchino, espresso, latte macchiato and for 73ml of water preheated to 82°C
- a very smart sugar dispenser that knows how to add sugar to 95, 98 and 100°C coffee and to coffee made of BOTH coffee arabica AND coffee robusta beans.
etc. etc., i think you're getting the gist.
when i realized this, it was like, right in front of my eyes, this terrible pattern emerged like a foul, corrupted caleidoscope of chaos, through the whole code base of this module.
i've already known how rotten from the core this code base is, but today i've actually identified a really bad pattern that i hadn't realized before. the whole architecture is so bloated that it is hard to have an overview of the whole thing. and it would require a LOT of refactoring to repair this pattern.
but i guess it would also be infinitely satisfying because i could probably reduce the code base for 30% or something...
but unfortunately, this is never going to happen, because screw refactoring.
it's a great feeling to start this new library from scratch, tho...6 -
So since starting my new role I have had nothing to rant about. That changed today.
HR waited til one day past payroll cut off to issue my paperwork. Meaning I get paid at my old rate this month and then get back pay in my November pay slip.
Those mother cunting bastards waited one day extra to screw me for the whole month.
I've been waiting since the end of September for these twat monkeys to get off their rotting arses and sort this and they do it one day late.
It's a good job that I don't know where they are located, nothing good would be waiting for them if I did.
Edit:
As this got cut from the tags:
HR please kindly go find a rotting puss filled dick and shove it up your lazy fucking arse you pitiful wastes of human meat bags.1 -
This was initially a reply to a rant about politics ruining the industry. Most of it is subjective, but this is how I see the situation.
It's not gonna ruin the industry. It's gonna corrupt it completely and fatally, and it will continue developing as a toxic sticky goo of selfishness and a mandatory lack of security until it chokes itself.
Because if something can get corrupted, it will get corrupted. The only way for us as a species to make IT into a worthy industry is to screw it up countless times over the course of a hundred years until it's as stable and reliable as it can possibly be and there are as many paradigms and individually reasonable standards as there can possibly be.
Look around, see the ridiculus amount of stupid javascript frameworks, most of which is just shitcode upon vulnerabilities upon untested dependencies. Does this look to you like an uncorrupted industry?
The entire tech is rotting from the hundreds of thousands of lines of proprietary firmware and drivers through the overgrown startup scene to fucking Node.js, and how technologies created just a few decades ago are unacceptable from a security standpoint. Check your drivers and firmware if you can, I bet you can't even see the build dates of most firmware you run. You can't even know if it was built after any vulnerability regarding that specific microcontroller or whatever.
Would something like this work in chemical engineering? Hell no! This is how fucking garage meth labs work, not factories or research labs. You don't fucking sell people things without mandatory independent testing. That's how a proper industry works. Not today's IT.
Of course it's gonna go down in flames. Greed had corrupted the industry, and there's nothing to be done about it now but working as much as we can, because the faster we move the sooner we'll get stuck and the sooner we can start over on a more reasonable foundation.
Or rely on layers of abstraction and expect our code to be compilable on anything the future holds for us.2 -
Needed money for my company, not enough clients to support business on SaaS alone. Took on a 5k / month job building a platform that competes with my SaaS (more niche, less generic). Also sign up new client who that company's owner is part owner onto my current SaaS. Win / Win?
I do a lot of custom work to my platform to fulfill their needs, which is why I ran out of time for the 5k / mo project. I did these customization for free. Losing money to keep client, but also improving my system.
Work gets busy, I need to drop the 5k project. Client is upset I am working more on his other company (he is not majority owner). I return 1 month of funds to the owner and say I cannot continue.
Owner threatens to make other company that he is part owner stop working with my software if I do not complete project. Blacklisting...great. I agree to work with an overseas developer to do it and PM it for 3 months at least. Making nearly nothing from it (now 1k / month for PM), working nights to deal with India, losing sleep...
Other company suddenly folds due to conflict of egos with that SAME owner. Users drop from 16 to 1. I drop the project, no more strong arming me. Everything is a loss, all effort and money lost for nothing. Bad bet..however...
Owner becomes 100% owner of the other company, and of the software company. I transition him to PM his own project, he still uses my software because It doesn't, nor will it, ever do what the one he is building does. Also, partners from previous company break off and use my software again. New Client. #profit.
But holy hell was it stressful in the interim. People's business tactics are disgusting. Stay calm, play it neutral. Win. Sometimes you have to do what you don't want to do in order to succeed...at least for a little bit.
I was so scared that how he screwed his partners he would screw me over as well if I built one of the modules I have planned for my System, but haven't done yet.
If I did it for him first and then built my own (totally diff codebase) I really didn't want to run into any legal issues considering the schematics he has now are mine, but I didn't finish that part of the system for him. He is obivously highly competitive. Even though he wanted me to, and still does, want me to run his company for him.
Who knows, maybe in the future. To be CTO / COO of two SaaS CRM's in the same space may make sense. But I will never sell my software to him or partner with him. Too much drama. Avoid the drama. Be careful out there fellas.
If you are a creator, people will take advantage of you in every way imaginable. Read the fine print, read the people, document everything. Don't put yourself at risk. -
There's very little good use cases for mongo, change my mind.
Prototyping maybe? Rails can prototype, create/update/destroy db schemas really quickly anyways.
If you're doing a web app, there's tons of libs that let you have a store in your app, even a fake mongo on the browser.
Are the reads fast? When I need that, use with redis.
Can it be an actual replacement for an app's db? No. Safety mechanisms that relational dbs have are pretty much must haves for a production level app.
Data type checks, null checks, foreign key checks, query checks.
All this robustness, this safety is something critical to maintain the data of an app sane.
Screw ups in the app layer affecting the data are a lot less visible and don't get noticed immediately (things like this can happen with relational dbs but are a lot less likely)
Let's not even get into mutating structures. Once you pick a structure with mongo, you're pretty much set.
Redoing a structure is manual, and you better have checks afterwards.
But at the same time, this is kind of a pro for mongo, since if there's variable data, as in some fields that are not always present, you don't need to create column for them, they just go into the data.
But you can have json columns in postgres too!
Is it easier to migrate than relational dbs? yes, but docker makes everything easy also.11 -
The worst of Agile and Sc(r)um: All those people knowing the right way(™) to do it. Endless discussion about useless tooling: the proper use of the custom workflow in Jira, on when and how to create sub tickets. The hour-less meta-discussions on what should be discussed where and when (what's subject of the backlog refinement, retro, etc), the roles: the PO's, what he should do, cannot, the PM's. Who is allowed to pull a ticket to the sprint or not. How many reviewers need to acknowledge a pull request. To and fro. Pointless, but fought with heart and blood, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.
And everywhere I hear: "In my previous company, we did Scrum like.. and it worked perfectly!"
Some of you might remember my rants on Mr. Gitmaster, with whom I thought I'd made my peace. Guess what? He's now a team member and turning into Mr. Agile - a more severe reincarnation! As our company starts flogging that dead horse of Agility, he seems to feel strong tailwind. Our team lead would constantly cut his monologues, but he's now on holiday, so we have no escape from the never ending: "In my previous company..."
If it was so great, why didn't you stay?
We are not allowed to pull a ticket to the sprint unless every team member is notified? I don't fucking care. If our software fails on customer's machines and I can fix it, I will do if there is a ticket, if it's in the sprint or not. Screw Scrum, if it is getting in the way of it. You can waste your hours discussing horseshit, I want to sit at my desk, deep in the test-compile loop and ship some fucking code.3 -
MEETINGS
Daily stand up
Weekly status
Fortnightly update
Monthly planning
Life would be so much simpler without meetings. Just chat, why fuss over "meeting"?
As it is most of the things don't go as per what's planned in the monthly planning meeting.
Neither is there much of an update in the fortnightly update meeting. Only update is what we planned, isn't the right direction.
This will obviously screw up the weekly status. Screwed up planning is dishevelled implementation.
Daily stand up is just very sleep deprived developers, who don't wanna talk.
Make it my time's worth; say no more meetings. -
Those moments when you get up hoping that you don't screw up your day but then end up bugging your code rather than debugging it and then Git/other VCS comes to your help.2
-
Okay ranters, I'm asking for your help.
I'm currently an IT Technician at a facility. I am doing this part time while finishing up my last year of college. I graduate in April of 2017. I just received a job offer to do Web Development part time in the same city. I'm not sure if they will work with my schedule, but they say they will. I will need to learn PHP, because I haven't used it yet, but learning a new language is easy for me. I'm done with most of the difficult classes in my CS program, but I will need some time devoted to study. I'm unsure whether the job is a golden opportunity or if I'm going to screw myself over and be unable to graduate. What do you guys think?8 -
Co-worker put up a pull-request for his work, with no build file, no readme, no gitignore, and shell scripts for running the app (but not compiling it). O_o
The guy has been using atom editor even though we have license for Intellij for everyone, which .. whatever .. if it works for you...
In our daily stand, people offered to help him add the build files and he was like, "No, I know how to do it, I was just trying to avoid using Gradle until I had to."
It just made me think, "Yea I know you have all these nice screw drivers and hammers, but I'm going to keep using my hands and this stick so I can avoid using tools until I have to." -
I went to state competitions, had 9 compile errors in my code, said screw it I'm turning it in, didn't worry the rest of the day while having fun, didn't place, didn't care1
-
today i said i had holiday until the new year and wouldn't open a code editor until then
and here i am 5 hours later looking at advent of code challenges, trying to do them in rust
🤓🤡🤓🤡🤓🤡🤓🤡🤓🤡🤓🤡🤓🤡
also screw them for discouraging AI. if a tool can help me learn a new language faster i'm using it3 -
Let me start this off by stating I'm a Java dev, and a noob with C++.
Thought it'd be cool to learn some OpenCL, since I want to do some maths stuff and why not learn something new.
So I sat down, installed Nvidia proprietary drivers, broke my x-org server, purged, reinstalled, rebooted and after a while I got stuff sorted out.
Then on to my IDE. I use CLion and it uses Cmake. C++ noob knows shit about Cmake, so struggle for two hours trying to figure out wtf is going on with the OpenCL libs and why they're only partially detected. Fml.
Finally, everything is configured and I'm set. I start working on a Hello World program using OpenCL. Finish it in 20 mins, all good. No output. Do some googling, check my program a million times. Nothing wrong here. Check the kernel, everything as in the tutorial.
I start checking error codes after a while reported by OpenCL (which I had no clue was a thing) and I get some code saying the program was not created properly (to run the kernel). No fucking clue what's up with that. Google around, find another tutorial, rewrite my code in case I'm using outdated code or something. Nothing.
Fast forward an hour, I find out that OpenCL has logs! So I grab some code from the website I found it on, and voila, I finally get some info on what's going on.
Get a load of this bs.
In the kernel file, so that OpenCL knows that it's a function to run, you have to put __kernel. But in all the places I read, it said to put it as _kernel.
Add the underscore, compile, run and everything is perfect.
Then I tried just putting 'kernel'. Also compiles and runs fine.
Two hours hours and my program was fixed by adding an underscore. IF ONLY C++ GAVE AN INDICATION OF WHAT BLEW UP INSTEAD OF SITTING BACK AND BEING LIKE "oh wow man feels bad, work some magic and try again" THEN THIS WOULD NOT HAVE TAKEN SO LONG.
Then again, it was OpenCL that was being shitty with its styling enforcement or whatever the hell the underscore business is. But screw it. C++ eats shit too for this. Sure, maybe Java babies you by giving you the exact error and position that the error took place at. But at least that way you don't waste hours of your life chasing invisible bugs 😠😠
I'm going to eat some food... Too much energy was consumed fighting the system... Then I'll get back to OpenCL because 😇 but that doesn't make it less bs.1 -
Screw DataStage
Screw Saleforce
Screw the $25k/week Vendor who finishes work maybe 60% complete, if I’m being generous.
Screw the business rushing to us to fix their shadow IT cluster.5 -
So this is a story all about how:
I went from my brother being asked to clone the disk of old laptop to a new one. My m.2 ssd being held in with duct tape because of it and me having to run a tar command that took over 5 hours to complete.
So my bro got asked by a friends mom to help her with "PC Problems". In short the old laptop was barely useable and they ordered a new one on the reccomendations of my brother. Turns out the laptop he recomended shoud have had a 1tb hdd in it. Instead it had a 256gb m.2. Note: The old disk was 500GB.
So cloning wasnt possible. He then told me, that they also bought a regular sata ssd which was supposed to go in instead of the non present hdd. So I <-Want to emphasize on this! went to work.
Ordered a ssd in the right form factor.
Made a disk image of the old HDD.
Had to drill out the screw holding in my m.2 ssd as it was stuck.
Its now held in with a piece of kepton tape.
Wrote old disk's image on new disk.
It doesnt boot in new laptop.
Spend an evening trying to rebuild boot partitions.
Fuck it, lets install windows 10 (instead of 7) and copy all the shit over manually!
Lets buy office for 30$ on g2a as it would be a pain in the ass to explain the that its normally a subscription.
Previous rant happend.
Brought them the laptop yesterday telling them I did all the work.
I collect the ssd they ordered explaing i ordered the correct one and would take tis one for me.
Still had the 500GB img file of the disk and wanted to compress it in order to put some data back in place.
The tar command took over 5 hours to complete! I havent checked on it yet as I went to sleep. -
Maybe I'm not cut out to program. I have yet to write an entire program start to finish outside of tut sites and still have little idea as to what I'm doing.11
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Last week: Build out a landing page and contact form in Pardot. Deliver to client after a quick QA pass through.
Friday: Get nasty message from client via basecamp about how the entire page looks like complete crap. We're also very unprofessional and can't deliver a simple request, while we charge a premium for our services.
So I, wondering what I managed to screw up so horribly, hop on to the test page I sent them. Except, its different and looks like crap.
They edited the page after it was sent to them and are pissed it doesn't match the comps they sent over. So I edit it back - except for the form. The one they added selects and textarea boxes to. Fields they didn't include in their comp and there was no mention of them wanting to use.
Today: Phone call with client. Every single complain they have about the page template they delivered all goes back to one of 3 things.
1. Their designer doesn't know how to use their global styles in his designs. So when things match their global styles (as they specifically asked for) they don't understand why they don't match the comp in a side by side view.
2. They change their mind on a design after the page was built. They won't admit this is the case and want to blame someone else for it not looking the way they want it. You know, "Spirit and Style of their current site"
3. They're idiots.
So now, I put aside a much more fun React project for an Amazon owned grocery chain and work on this nonsense. -
Screw it. I’ve gone over to the dark side and become a consultant. Let’s see what life in consultancy brings.5
-
Did I screw up or is it ok doing this?
1. Calling another method inside the same factory file
2. Calling a method from another factory file
3. All factory methods are static because they only depend on their passed parameter(s)
7 -
I don't get publicity hungry personalities on Medium. Their usual headlines :
"Why we left `${ insert framework}`. There's nothing wrong with it though."
Either have the balls to say you didn't do your homework when you started, or hold your peace.
Don't screw the hardworking folks whose code you depended on before bailing out. -
!dev
Student loans soon won't be the only thing on my damn credit score.
Asshole landlord is evicting us to renovate and take advantage of higher home rates, we got a month to figure stuff out
Dad's credit score sucks so I get to put a damn home loan on my score so we don't risk another asshole evicting us if we rent and hope like hell my dad doesn't screw me over
Thank athismo my job pays enough I've been able to save for a good while
At least if we own it we'll be allowed to make modifications without waiting months for permission4 -
I hate quotes/estimates so damn much
Quote too high and we don't win the work
Quote too low and I screw myself/other devs over
And then there's the fact that most initial quotes for an entire project are based off nothing but a few marketing slides from the potential client; we do re-estimate after winning the work and nailing down what the client actually wants, but obviously it can't be too far from the initial quote
And then there are other people on the company (not devs, obviously) who like to casually expand the scope without checking how much time it'll add4 -
Dear Microsoft, you are the one who created VS Code, Typescript. How could you possibly screw these things up? VS Code intellisense is terribly slow while working with Typescript but works so well when working with flutter/dart or any other programming languages. Shouldn't you be the one doing the best? Shouldn't you be doing a better job at something that you created? How could you mess it up??8
-
So my boss wants me to develop a complete business management solution + mobile app. (It’s a startup project based company). She doesn’t want to use dubsado / asana / etc and wants me to take the best of all and custom build it for her.
Now I was a mobile app developer. Native iOS and android + recently learnt flutter. No backend or web or api skill.
But screw it, I wanted to learn laravel since a long time anyway so that I could be an independent developer.
So I have agreed and started it...
Bitten more than I can chew? Time will tell...what do you think?10 -
Visual Studio - Release: Oh looks like this works.
Visual Studio - Debug: It seems you have an error:
"MVP = P*V*M;"
Quickly checks release... wait..
"
MVP=P*V;
MVP=MVP*M;
"
Compiles Debug version... Hey it works!!! Closes application window.... Error _free_dbg(block...
WTF...
Tries again, closes the cmd window, rather than win32 window. No errors.
TL;DR Screw windows for debugging C/C++ -
Wanted to switch from Arduino IDE to VSCode. Arduino extention is now open source and debugging is now possible! But not for the boards we use... Of fucking course it isn't and they don't even mention that properly. Screw you and your half arsed features!3
-
Tested a script that watches a folder for any missing folders (team members kept moving them), and then showed it to the guy who was mentoring me. It did what it needed to, so we were going to switch it off the test directory on the local box to the network share.
I had been testing against the live folder for a couple of days, didn't notice, and didn't screw anything up. There was a, "good job you idiot," and he added it right to his big script that runs 24/7. FeelsGoodMan.jpg -
None...
My work desk is ordered chaos. It's an unspectacular white desk.
To the left paper for taking notices... And a collection of notes highly unordered.
In the top left corner of the desk the router.
Middle (front to back): Color sorted post it's with my backlog and all the stuff that I need to keep track off.
Keyboard, Monitor
Right (front to back): mailboxthingy, post it block, utensilo (made of bamboo)
That's the working desk. Like the "shining knight in armor"....
Next to the working desk is the play desk, a large kitchen table with a 5mm thick black rubber (keep your dirty thoughts for yourself ;)) as insulation and scratch prevention.
There is usually utter chaos.
Banana PI R2, test router, old hardware, hardware storage cabinet, screw and other small part cabinet....
And to the right is a large chest of drawers where I cram everything in that doesn't belong anywhere.
I'm pretty boring I guess.
Except you are kinky for old hardware and lots of weird stuff noone uses nowadays...
Then you're in heaven I guess.1 -
Learning New Design Patterns...
When all you've got is a hammer, everything looks like a nail. Arg.
Recently, my code in almost any controller is like so:
return (new MyFancyClass($param))->methodThatHandlesIt();
that can't be the solution to everything.... although it kind of is
how can I beef up on patterns and avoid crushing a screw into the wall without realizing it's not a nail4 -
I'd just like to say a royal fuck you with fingers and all to the BBC.
FUCK YOU
Having 10 mins to spare before I leave to get the train to work I thought I'd pop on the news on my phone.
Having got to the website I was promoted to log in (so the bastards could track me no less) but I thought fine! Having tried my password a few times I eventually got into the news streaming page and clicked play.
Wait what a this? Play store? I didn't want the fucking play store and especially to download the BBC media app but screw it I don't have a choice or a lot of time, so I hit the download button.
The app downloads I launch it and boom! the pissing thing takes me back to the BBC website I shit you not! But wait... wtf page is this? Some middle of buttfuck nowhere page which has nothing to do with streaming the news...
I'm now writing this from the train sweating my balls off after leaving late due to the pissing about that I've had this morning. I've had to pick up the shitty free newspaper running past like a paperboy on crack and the only thing I want to do now is spin up a bunch of nodes and spam the bastards with the web address of my middle finger and the words FUCK YOU!3 -
This is the link that has brought me the most joy acceleration in my life.
Go see what it does yourself.
I love adminer so much.
Hyper recommended.
Screw MySQL Workbench.
(this rant was saved since that day images stopped working, good job guys)
3 -
Screw Scrum, screw it very much. Is it a task or a story? Oh let's make it a story to track points. What are points, really? *20 minute grilling always follows* Well they're kind of a roundabout way of talking about time without talking about time, mkay? But last time 2 points took you a day, what gives now? What do you mean points are for internal use, but how will management plan ahead for next quarter? Ok, let's mix in all those new people, and propotionately bump the expectation for the sprint, mkay? Yeah, they did 34 points per sprint over there, we'll just add those in. Oh, and by the way, after the 4-day estimation session we had where everyone was seizuring, I scheduled us at 645 points for the coming quarter, mkay? Don't worry, I added 15% for the "unexpected dtuff" so you're safe. Fuck you scrum, scrum-fall, whatever you are. Lost a dev lead role once for being honest about it after a year with a team that loved me, and projects completed more or less on time. Been reconsidered for a dev lead role for being honest about it in another place. Somebody else peddle this kool-aid, this one prefers a walk-on role in the wall to a lead role in the cage.5
-
Our company is remote-controlled by one or two customer companies. Our CTO is remote-controlled by them also. And if that wasn't enough it feels like he has no competence in the development of normal software (not customer projects).
Officially the management in our company doesn't have the right to give direct orders to the development teams. In reality, they just ignore this rule and play dictator.
It feels that the management thinks that all developers in the company are just asses and idiots who screw up everything.3 -
My team was asked to point to a mock service in our QA env. Standard procedure is to copy the line in our QA property file that has the service URL, comment one out, and change the other to the mock service. Then, push the code and deploy to QA.
What did someone do? He didn't touch the property file. He found where we were defining the configuration for our http requester, removed the property reference, and HARD CODED the mock URL.
Wait, it gets better. The mock service does not function the same way the real service does. We need to send an additional query param to the mock service (that has a value already being sent in a header) so they modified ANOTHER file where the actual request is being made.
He made the changes, deployed to QA, and didn't check in any code.
What is going to happen next time when we deploy to QA with the latest code? Oh look, we'll be pointing to the real service again.
I explained this to my architect, and included that this messed up mock service they were calling is our 2nd mock service (no idea why they made a new one) and he simply deleted the stupid 2nd mock service. Screw that!
And...now requests to QA don't work 😂 -
35 hours straight because screw you clients. Wanting shit right before christmas season.
I'm never doing that shit again, although i got some mad money for it... And in a way got me into node+cloud providers. -
I just had one of those moments where you solve that problem you're been working on for days but forgot it by the time I got out of bed.... screw you too brain.1
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I have an interview for a Mobile Dev Trainee position with me classmates. I'm a web guy. I have no idea what has been going on with mobile dev while I was away. But this is opportunity. Halp! What to do to not screw it up? I understand the concept of making API calls somehow. Maybe, that would halp?1
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It was about 2:30am.. The darkness had been dominating the outside for a while, and I was having issues with my partitions on my CentOS server. Yup that's correct. I think.
I really wanted to go to bed. Last thing I had to do, was re-allocate some space from centos-home to centos-root. But I fucked up, of course I did.
After about half an hour of making food and trying different stuff to solve the "Can't read superblock error" error, I found an answer that just lead to "Can't read secondary superblock error, sorry".
At least they apologize now lol.
I ended up trashing the centos-home volume (is volume and partition the same ?) and just smashing it all onto centos-root. I lost some data, but screw that, stuff is working and I'm not going to bed.
Yeah, stuff is working. I hope. No errors encountered yet.
Moral of the story: Home partition isn't needed and it's okay to kill it1 -
TL;DR: I should just stick to Python. I'm not touching front-end stuffs.
I got promoted to moderator of the subreddit of the game I play. Got greeted by a list of task involving tweaking the stylesheet (CSS). I said fine, I screwed around with CSS before I can screw with this again. So now I'm in charge of the whole op. Alone. Yay /s.
The objective is just dark-theme-ing the thing because white hurts (we all know that). So I fired up Firefox, made a test subreddit, cloned the whole stylesheet and sprites and started screwing around with my editor and Inspector Tool. And it hit me: One element refused to render (I don't if that's the correct technical term), and I don't even know why the fuck it didn't render. 15 minutes fuzzing through and it still gave a middle finger. Fine. Fuck you. Full revert, back to original. Then I changed the original sheet one change at a time, reloading after every changes. After changing everything, it suddenly work. What the fuck. Why the fuck. How the fuck. How the bloody fuck. How in the bloody fuck.
(""Fucks" per minute" sure is an effective measure of code quality)2 -
TL;DR Looking to build a tower. Starting as a web dev machine but then home cinema and then maybe gaming rig that works well with Linux.
Firstly really it will be a web dev machine as that is my day job, but later I'd like to
- home entertainment theatre
- probably gaming
- possibly comp sci stuff
Initial budget is somewhere at £800, I think I have a 500 watt psu already, i do kind of want to build my own case to save money, but might be an intense challenge.
So don't know whether to buy a low budget gfx card at first, or whether the on board gfx of a good motherboard will be good enough.
Definitely AMD / ATI as Linux (screw you Nvidia).
I'm thinking ATX form factor, annoyingly I have a micro-atx case but that make it difficult to upgrade so much.
I'm pretty clueless really, I just want something that will run seamless with Linux.
Thanks for any help ranters.4 -
I actually want to rant and pitch a product idea here:
So I am furious when i found out Gravit Designer made offline mode premium only, seriously what the fuck. And Figma is getting no progress for the offline mode either - even lacking grids that I need (I might do isomorphic and I also need grids to keep things aligned).
To be honest I liked Figma more now than Gravit (screw you Corel for fucking up a great platform). So that's why I want to do something similar to Gravit Designer, universal and all, works in browsers, without the forced paywall in my face.
I always forsee premium as a way to add features to products when you need it, and as a way to let a developer know they're doing a good job. I want to make this kind of model stick, and it seems with the money-hungry fuckwits of Corel on Gravit, it ain't happening.
So that's why I want to build an designer app that does what Gravit does, except, I want premium to be more ethical, giving all the core features, add more customizabilty to the interface, and actually make the designer workbench yours. Heck, if its possible we can have Google Drive/Nextcloud integration as well for those who want cloud saves.
I badly want to do this because I believe someone out there shares my sympathy. Gravit was a nice product but was ruined by Corel's greedy paywall system. I won't be paying 99 monthly just to get offlline mode. Affinity and Figma's model is better.
Corel you fucking suck1 -
So there is this website called 100daysofrunning.in one of the worst design seen ever. They've a submit page which is another app that opens in an iframe.
If you're part of challenge, everyday you've to submit a form. Distance, time, Strava link, date and it's a pain to do so every day.
On the 50th day they restricted the date to7 days, so you cannot post data older then 7 days.
Being a programmer it would have been insult had i entered data manually.
Thanks to casperjs, meteorjs i was able to automate fetch from strava and post on this dumb page.
One day due an error, the script failed and I've missed one day of data entry. That's 2km of running gone invain and I'm out of the challenge.
Programming has mad me lazy. Screw programming. I should've been a dumb idiot to manually add data spending fkin 30 mins, atleast life would be simple. -
Some idiot fixing bugs in production and overwriting files without updating his git repo when I pushed another bugfix live.
Boss to me: "it's your job to get the fix live!"
I FUCKING HATE MONDAYS!
screw performance i'm gonna run gulp.watch in production and just git reset it to last release when someone fiddles with files on the server :( -
I kinda hate brand bias, when people don't have an open mind when judging new products.
some people are ready, up late, waiting for next apple keynote just so they have stuff to rip off.
"animoji is so pointless"
then don't use it buddy :)
"apple tracks you"
https://maps.google.com/locationhis...
"apple product limits you, google products allow you to do a lot more"
- apple iphone:
· download apps
· surf the web
· make calls and send texts
· do things offline
· use the native devRant app
pixelbook/chromeos:
· browse the fucking web
· there's a fucking 'write protect' screw in the motherboard so you can't fuck anything up
(yes I know, generally android is more customizable, but you'd expect more from a laptop over a computer)
I'm not an apple fanboy, I could make this rant about android hate, too, but because a product isn't for you doesn't mean it's not for everyone.6 -
There is a Facebook group I’m a part of called “ReactJS Expert Community” and I can tell you it’s filled with anything but experts. Someone just posted on it asking what the difference between Axios and async/ await is. The only reason I’m part of this group is so I can feel good about myself when I screw up while coding xP
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Today I spent a long hour working out how to assign a lead to a queue in apex (salesforce).
You can't just assign it, you need go make a setup entry in the database first to mark the group as a queue.
But wait, you can't actually do that in the same context as making the group, so you have to make a subprocess, and mark it as a queue in that.
None of this is documented.
Screw you, SalesForce.2 -
My worst mistake (though it did help catch a bug which was cool) was not checking that my merge was done properly (we were using a terrible CM tool at the time and you had to merge manually). I had checked in some code that would, among other things, scale an image to a custom window space. I had missed one line of the code I had written to properly calculate the image bounds on window resize. As a result, whenever you would scale the window, the image dimensions would change erratically and screw up other behaviors based on image size. It shipped that way.
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grrrr
last week my laptop died out of nowhere. it stopped recognizing the one drive in it. I lost a bunch of files, code. evidently ssds fail out of nowhere unlike hdds which slow down and error all the time before ultimate failure
my warranty for this 4k$ laptop expires in 12 months and this was month 13. nice. I don't like warranties anyway, and the site said they would replace things with "comparable hardware, sometimes refurbished" wtf no thanks
so I found some guides of people upgrading the drive in this laptop. seemed easy enough, unlike older laptops from back when I was in school where you had to take out 12 things first to get to anything
unfortunately I needed a specific screwdriver. I walked several miles to the nearby hardware store thinking they would have said screwdriver. the old guy in the basement said there was a kit where it started from t4 (I needed t5), but he had just sold out his last one. I checked their online store with a friend for a while on my way back home and we kept finding torx screws but the wrong sizes. fuck.
he said screwdrivers this small are only used for electronics, asked if there's any other hardware stores and there aren't near me
however it occurred to me this strip mall has a lot of suspicious computer stores on it. so I walked back up the street looking for one.
found one with a suspicious poster, saying it was an internet cafe but the last point on their poster said they do repairs. walked in. nobody is in there, suspiciously 2 desks with old computers all empty, then you go forward in this dark cave, with plastic wrapped implements on the walls, you finally find a glass shield and behind it was a meek Asian man that took me a moment to notice
I asked him if he had t5
he handed me a plastic baggy full of tiny screwdrivers, for me to take one
I asked if they're t5
the shape looked right, but I can't tell the size
I took one out and tried to find size marking, but nothing
he didn't seem to know what I was asking when I asked about its size
he said if it's wrong I can come back and trade what I took for another. lol
I asked him if I can buy it, since that wasn't evident to me due to how sus this random bag of screws is being thwarted on me lmao
he said 5$ cash
I gave him a fiver
this sus shop literally avoiding taxes lmao
walked back home, ate food cuz starving, tried the screw and FUCK, it's too big. put laptop in a bag and hauled ass fast, checked on maps the store I got this from closes in a few minutes so I really wanted to make it there because what if the receptionist changes and they don't know I took this screw. I got no receipt
got there right before closing, put my laptop down, said it was too big. he used a few screws until he found one that fit, said I could try it and I did (so scam aware!). bingo bango. now I got a screwdriver that fits the laptop.
walked home, sat down and took apart the laptop. been a few years since I did so. the hardware inside looks entirely unrecognizable to me. started cycling through YouTube videos of laptops of the same name as mine, but their insides don't look like mine. is this ram? is this the NVMe? what the fuck is anything?
finally found a video guide where the guy was quite informative. not the same laptop but he's informative enough I figure it out. ram and drives are so different and weird now. took parts out, put them back in, rebuilt laptop, tried to boot, same problem. jiggling parts like this works with desktops often, guess not with a failed NVMe
so I'm screwed. get on Newegg and bought a new NVMe. should arrive in 3 days via Purolator
yesterday was day 3. it was at a sort facility near me, then out on delivery, but nobody ever came. then it went back to sorting. now it's out on delivery again. I'm sitting here thinking that's a little weird, wasn't Purolator the delivery company that had me go 2 hours outside of town to pick up a 15lb desktop case once?
... and then I looked up Reddit comments... then reviews on the purolator facility it's at... I am screwed. last time iirc they were out for delivery for 3 days, never tried delivery, then on the last day at the end of day they stated they attempted delivery but no go. that was bullshit. then it ended up at that facility. which takes 2 hours to fucking reach.
the reviews are so bad... the facility has 1.2 star reviews with thousands of them. they won't leave even a stub, then seem to not know where your package is at the facility, or they deny you have the right to pick it up despite ample IDs, or someone ELSE picks it up and it's not there. they also ship your package back after 5 days, so if they don't leave a note and you miss it tough luck...
fucking hell
also rumours that they just hire "contractors" in normal cars to drop off packages? wat? lol
AND EVERY REVIEW HAS A BOT COMMENT. THEIR SUPPORT IS JUST A CHATBOT
I thought this was just a small hiccup
I think I might not have a drive for weeks now
fucking hell
now I'm sitting on my porch2 -
Framework Style Guide:
"When extending this library, please refrain from exposing too many arguments for the stages in your pipeline. Everything that could be fixed or inferred should not require additional configuration. "
Real life:
"Adjust every fucking knob and screw to stupidly specific settings for each and every use case or gravity itself will stop working. Heed this warning for you will not have another chance. "
That's it. More a vent than a rant. -
Screw AIX! More importantly screw the IBM designer that though cache batteries were a good way to monitize their platform to help validate the service contracts. I guess it "works", but at what cost?
Just lost the last 4 business days going down this rabbit hole with a customer's server.
Edit: Quick note, yes, the customer is on track for a migration soon.8 -
Screw it! Finally moved out of toxic, demotivating, slow paced, but really comfortable comfort zone(large company).
It's been a month, relatively very happy, latest tech stack, fast paced environment (literally no one has time to play politics or gossip), with 40% hike. I can clearly see I'm burning out but at least I'm enjoying work.
Down the line I'm sure I appreciate myself for this big move.2 -
So I ran into a perplexing "issue" today at work and I'm hoping some of you here have had experience with this. I got a story-time from my coworker about the early days of my company's product that I work on and heard about why I was running into so much code that appeared to be written hastily (cause it was). Turns out during the hardware bring-up phase, they were moving so fast they had to turn on all sorts of low level drivers and get them working in the system within a matter of days, just to keep up with the hardware team. Now keep in mind, these aren't "trivial" peripherals like a UART. Apparently the Ethernet driver had a grand total of a week to go from nothing to something communicating. Now, I'm a completely self-taught embedded systems focused software engineer and got to where I am simply cause I freaking love embedded systems. It's the best. BUT, the path I took involved focusing on quality over quantity, simply because I learned very quickly that if I did not take the time to think about what I was doing, I would screw myself over. My entire motto in life is something to the effect of "If I'm going to do it, I'm going to do it to the best of my abilities." As such, I tend to be one of the more forward thinking engineers on my team despite relative to my very small amount of professional experience (essentially I screwed myself over on my projects waaaay too often in the past years and learned from it). But what I learned today slightly terrifies me and took me aback. I know full well that there is going to come a point in my career where I do not have the time to produce quality code and really think about what I am designing....and yet it STILL has to work. I'm even in the aerospace field where safety is critical! I had not even considered that to be a possibility. Ideally I would like to prepare now so that I can be effective when that time does come...Have any of you been on the other side of this? What was it like? How can I grow now to be better prepared and provide value to my company when those situations come about? I know this is going to be extremely uncomfortable for me, but c'est la vie.
TLDR: I'm personally driven to produce quality code, but heard a horror story today about having to produce tons of safety-critical code in a short time without time for design. Ensue existential crisis. Help! Suggestions for growth?!
Edit: Just so I'm clear, the code base is good. We do extensive testing (for lots of reasons), but it just wasn't up to my "personal standards".2 -
My dad's pc has random ad pop-ups in chrome so I downloaded Malwarebytes.. and it detected 1,600 registry issues.
Can it be trusted though? I do not want to screw up his PC for obvious reasons. I remember many years ago maybe with CCleaner it screwed up my PC so bad I had to reinstall Windows....
5 -
So I’m panicking a lil bit.
I applied to a bunch of summer co ops from like feb 20-25. I haven’t heard anything from any of them yet - not all of the postings have been closed but my first choice posting closed feb 22...
I know it hasn’t been all that long but I’m pretty used to getting responses (non dev jobs) within like a week and I’m scared that I won’t get ANY responses.
Most people started applying for co ops in December, and I know I procrastinated a lot, it’s just unlike regular jobs where u keep applying till u get something, it seems like co op applications shut down by now, 3 months before the summer term.
Did I screw myself over? Is it too late? I’ve never applied to co ops before and I just REALLY don’t want to spend another summer bagging groceries...1 -
Last Friday a coworker told me he was planning to go to a local hackathon in the city that weekend. Then I asked him to tell me what was the app they had planned to build and he said: `Oh no, I can't tell you, a lot of ideas have been stolen this way`, I thought that was rude by not telling me but whatever.
Today, I came to work, saw him and asked how did the hackathon go and he looked at me with sadness and said: `Dude, we screw it up, we had to left the contest`, `What?` I said, `Yeah, a couple of hours before the pitch some guy came to us to review what we were doing and we presented our idea, "an app to track bus routes" and he said "there is already a local app that does that and it was the winner of a previous contest`. I told him that I knew that app and her founder, he said he wished he had told me the idea last Friday so they could pivot to something else and not leave the contest.
Conclusion: Ideas are worthless, execution is everything.1 -
So...buffered query kept crashing even though I have a row limit of 10001 on my abstract datatables class. I didn't realize it was buffered because I grab the results in a for loop as a fetch. Well, I tracked it down to being the size of the email content that I'm selecting (and then using strip_tags and substring in PHP before returning to the front-end). So it's totally a catch-22 at this point because if I select let's say...substring 500 characters and most of that is line breaks and other html junk, I may only get a couple characters of normal text (or none at all) after stripping tags and doing a final substring to get the 50 characters of text I want to display. I said screw it and took the email content out of the table all together. You have to view it to see the content now. I should probably be storing a text-only version of the email, but argh..that's a lot of extra data.
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Great. How am I supposed to put in my SSD? There's probably an extra screw somewhere I can't see locking it in...
Thanks, Lenovo...
8 -
Trying to build a ros workspace inside VMware...
Called up the teammate who put it together:
Me: hey the workspace isn't building for me, do I need to setup anything before I type "make"?
Him: nah dude just type make and ur good, why what error are you getting?
Me: *describes error*
Him: oh lol I never got that error before, idk maybe your machine is just dumb
Me: *uh ok sure dude* let me try some other stuff
*Boots to native install of Ubuntu*
*Build successful*
Me: oh huh that's weird it built on my native installation but not on the VM
Him: oh lol that's not my problem
Seriously dude? First off, screw you Ros for not being able to build in a VM. Secondly, it's entirely your problem! Linux is nice to use, sure, but it's a bit of a problem when the entire team runs off Mac!
😲😲😲😣😥😫😓 -
Damn I hate js in the browser. I fixed a bug, but I don't understand what caused it or how my fix works.
I have 2 semantically identical elements that do the same thing, one of them crashes, while the other doesn't. Screw it!3 -
I loosely set aside Friday evening, Sunday and Monday for a rush job that was supposedly urgent. Monday I was sent the style-guide. It's mandatory to be written with bootstrap. Tuesday 10am, no copy, no images, no idea where the code will go or how it's context's global CSS will cascade over mine. Visual designer says the logo they provided me isn't crisp enough. How many grown adults does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 9?
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Duh. I'm really torn right now. I'm still wasting my time in this garbage college, and my patience is sooo running out. I can easily get a job by now and actually learn things, but there's just a few months left until I graduate. The worst few months. Should I just screw it or endure a bit more? 🤔21
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I'm so fond of "joe" as the main console editor.
But Arch Linux hasn't it in the repos. Screw you Arch! Keeping Fedora.3 -
Dashlane sucks. It’s the absolute worst password manager ever. Not a day goes by when it tries to log me into a site incorrectly, forgets a password, freezes up, etc. Yesterday I attempted to very carefully change the master password and it locked me out with the new password. Had to reset using the revoke process and it sent me back 6 months in time. Now I have to reconstruct all my logins a day before I go on vacation. I’m stuck with it because my employer reviewed LastPass and decided Dashlane had a few features LastPass didn’t that they really need. Seriously, SCREW DASHLANE!!2
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I spent the whole damn day trying to setup grpc-web, but this protocol is documented so damn poorly!
You manage to set grpc up for one language and it’s all cool, then you stupidly think that you are free to reuse the compiler you used for the nodejs version for your frontend part but nope! Our web module is now deprecated, please use this module instead!
“Ah yes just clone the repo and check out (…) and you can also check this link whic is in no way highlighted in the middle of a wall of text (…)”
*checking the other page*
Ah yes you need to install a package available only on your unix machine (great! Screw the devs in my team who use windows I guess, they’ll be happy to hear this!) and don’t forget to clone this repo to build your own plugin! And by that I ofc mean to compile it on your own!
- compiler error
After digging for an hour you find a requirement in an obscure issue opened and closed cause “ah yes we have a dependency not stated anywhere” *close issue and never add it to the project*
Fine, fine I can survive this bs
- another compiler error, no solution found after 2 hours
Honestly? Why the fuck do I need to compile this stuff? Just give me a damn npm package I can use? Goddamn it’s just transpiling, you don’t need access to my OS! (Aside for fs to save the files, and which btw is accessible via nodejs)
Now, I COULD download the latest realease as a precompiled, but… honestly?
I give up, I’ll do some shitty rest apis cause the customer’s not paying me enough for even THINKING to go trough this shit again when they’ll ask an iOS app. Or having colleagues asking me to help them understand how to do it.
Side note: also add typescript support to the web-code-generation ffs! Why does node have it and web don’t?5 -
I saw another rant about formatting. Now I want to complain too.
I fucking hate black formatting. Go screw yourself, it all hyped up and fucked up my code. Don't worry, everything still works, except my eyes. They got blinded everytime I see a black formatting commit. Screw you... Fire in the hole!!!!!!10 -
Man I really don’t like component libraries... perhaps there’s some thought out libs out there. But so far it’s been as if I were to build a bridge with a bunch of “reusable” parts but no one knows what the fuck they may be meant to do so no one bothered to account for anything and didn’t even fit screw holes or something.
So now I have to weld and screw everything together with fucking JavaScript in 10x the time it would have taken me to build the part myself.4 -
Screw our credit card processor so hard. The powers that be decided to sign with them because their rates were better. That's it. Never mind the fact that they don't make/work with mobile readers, which we need. Never mind the fact that their app is trash and is lacking basic features. Never mind the fact that their support is non-existent. Never mind the fact that when I request a new POS machine, I don't hear back for 6 months, and have to follow up again only to find they forgot about it. Never mind the fact that their POS machines can't handle 2 merchants like our ancient, "out-dated" one could, and so we need to spend double the money and have 2 POS machines sitting on the counter. Never mind the fact that their website is trash and lacks basic functionality. Never mind the fact that I cannot manage our user list (which changes CONSTANTLY), or even VIEW IT. I need to email them for all of this, and they may or may not respond. Never mind the fact that I'm going to spend my entire Friday scrolling through thousands of transactions, looking for one specific one, because their website doesn't even allow me to search for a specific transaction amount. Never mind all of that. Slightly lower rates, baby!1
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Screw my companys intern restrictions. I went to work briefly for a meeting today and the manager cancelled it. Wouldn't be a problem unless I couldn't check my outlook except at work... which is the case because I'm classified as an intern. Ugh!2
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Windows 10 , I just want a flipping built in command line executable to log off another (local) user. I'm not a server, I don't have active directory, I don't want to switch to log in as that user first, i want to just kill their inactive local session because cisco freaking vpn doesn't allow you to connect when a other user is logged in. I can kill the session from admin task manager, I just want to be in the commandline. If your gonna let software check the number of logged in users, let the freaking administration modify the number of logged in users with a cli.
Idk if I could turn it off an on again. On a server I would just issue "query sessions" or "query users" followed by "logoff ##". Why not let me do the same damn thing on my home computer sk I don't have to restart MY SESSION just to close MY WIFE'S session. You stupid fraking company that cannot provide consistent command line programs across various systems. SCREW YOU MICROSOFT AND YOUR UTTER ASANINE DECISION MAKING REGARDING WHAT FEATURES TO INCLUDE IN WHAT BUILDS.2 -
I've been working as a web dev intern for my college's IT department for about three weeks now. Knowing that I have the access to the cms, file server and database... Muhahahahahahahahahaha😈 but I guess I will be a good boy and only screw around in my test environment.
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Me, taking a coding class in uni:
Purposely cramping everything in as few lines as possible, making the code barely readable, just to screw with the guy who had to correct this mess.
In my defence, the assignment they gave us was garbage. The task descriptions were often ambiguous or even contradictory to what actually was the case ("The InputStream will contain a string of csv data, each element starts in the next line" -> was a malformed single line string) and the automated tests they wrote to check our output where either completely unhelpful because of their meaningless error messages, or sometimes even plain wrong, telling us our output was wrong, even though it definitely wasn't. -
Some developers incopetence can be limitless. I found e-shop which uses creative but totally silly way of integrating with e-mails. See my last rant (they send e-mail with my 'From' to themselves). As I sent them delivery report (I have SPF enabled) and wrote them what is wrong, they apologized when I came to pick up the goods and were glad that I forwarded the report (otherwise my order would be quite delayed). But hey, everything is fine, they are working on new e-shop. I said great, hopefully it wouldn't be this messed up. And I was told that yeah, the new one will block .net and .com addresses right away. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK? How can somebody use their incompetence as a reason to screw up even more! So next time, I'll probably use my local e-mail with SPF enabled to tech them to blick all e-mails and do stuff properly.
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Let's be honest - given the state of the world today, the more I listen to Megadeth, the more I relate to what Dave Mustaine has been pissed off about for a few decades now. Oh, you don't know who Dave Mustain is? He was, like, the 5th guy in Metallica. Rather, he was the bass player until he got fucked over because he was a dick and thrown off the first album Metallica did. Don't worry - he did OK. He formed Megadeth and still had quite a successful musical career. Why am I ranting about him? Simple - A lot of his lyrics are darker than Metallica's. I honestly don't know what the fuck I'm doing with my software/personal/professional life right now. I've got ideas & dreams, but all this COVID shit is just draining the fuck out of me. Sometimes I feel like I've failed - most of the lifeforms on this planet manage to procreate. Well, that didn't happen for me. On the down side, I didn't get to be a father. On the up side, I didn't punish the life of a child with my own brands of mistakes, ignorance, and stupidity. My life is littered with male failures. My biological father (paranoid, schizophrenic ) died at 58, doing everyone around him a favor. My grandfather on my mother's side died of colon cancer at 69 (so-called reformed alcoholic, manic depressive on lithium with great abusive tendencies). My step father who adopted me? Sure - he loved me. He just never understood me. "Computers are just a tool". Fuck you, 'dad'. Go play with your horses and tell me what I'm doing isn't meaningful. Where was I? Oh yes, almost killing myself last summer. I think between COVID and my own colossal screw ups & paranoia I went over the entire fucking edge. I pulled myself out of it with the help of medication, counseling, and learning to just let shit blow up because "it's not my problem". I'm still angry. Perhaps that's the only thing that keeps me going from time to time. I'll leave you with a quote from Ghandi - No, not that idealistic, limited one, Mahatma Ghandi. From his grandson, who managed to really pick up what he was putting down - Arun Ghandi:
“Use your anger for good. Anger to people is like gas to the automobile - it fuels you to move forward and get to a better place. Without it, we would not be motivated to rise to a challenge. It is an energy that compels us to define what is just and unjust.” -
When a severe outage/screw-up happens or when an insane request comes through and the only solution is some adhoc coding... the best part of being a dev: 1. being the one they turn to in those dark times, and 2. the self confidence boost when you alone have saved the day. It's thankless but those times make up for it.
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So, like, why doesn't Java let me do manual memory management? In C# if I want to screw up the code-base and everyone that comes after me with my half-informed experiments it totally lets me.21
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My first CS class is a basic introductory C++ course. Won't even be going into OOP.
So I want to use my own laptop for the course, but I have a Mac. Thought I could use Visual Studio for Mac for the class, but turns out Visual Studio for Mac is really only for Multiplatform development with C#. Ok, then, screw that. Just wasted 20GB and an evening installing that just to uninstall it.
I'm using JetBrain's CLion for now, but apparently we'll be doing some graphics work later this semester so I'm going to need to install Windows via Bootcamp and Visual Studio there... but my SSD is too small...
I currently have Windows/Bootcamp installed on a 1TB external hard disk but that is slow af. My SSD is only 250GB and I've already used half of it for various programs I need (Adobe crap plus Logic crap cuz I make videos and music).
My only option here is to buy a new SSD but only one manufacturer sells those (OWC), and a 1TB SSD is stupid expensive, $700 almost as much as I paid for this laptop used.
So, I guess I'm just kinda deciding right now whether upgrading storage is really worth it...6 -
Ive gotten pretty good at web dev that most projects seem easy so i just tell myself i could probably finish the whole thing over next weekend if i spent the entire day coding.
I end up procrastinating my way till last minute, sometimes screw over deadlines, i just cant get myself to want to work on it. and i keep accepting projects for the money and throw myself in this guilt tripping loop every time.
what can i do to get myself to work on freelancing? (in my actual full time job im very productive coz mostly the project i work on is my passion but freelance is just too much of a drag!)9 -
So it turns out the site my app scrapes for those NSFW pictures actually scrapes another site.
Now it just seems to mirror that site like a proxy though doesn't work well... pictures not loading, links not working.
But then at the bottom there's like a Copyright tag which shows the other site's name.
I wonder if perhaps he got tired of playing cat and mouse with me and just said ah screw it... I give up, here's the source, go scrape them.13 -
How can anybody use virtualization on Windows? Seriously! My second experience with Hyper-V. Not only it can't do basic stuff like forward devices into VM. And CPU and network configuration is simply a joke with almost no settings. But even those few stop working after a while! Aaarrrgh! Spend hour clicking like crazy trying to get network working. I wanted just a simple network between host and guest. Willing to setup static IP. Can't be simpler. But no, can't do. Somehow started working after ten times trying the same. And stoped after few seconds. Are you kidding me? And there are people using this peice of crap seriously and even call this production? Screw it. My brother will have to learn to have VMs in Linux.5
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How is your experience with upgrading from Debian 8 to Debian 9? Want to update my homeserver but I really don't want to screw it up. Especially with the switch from MySQL to MariaDB2
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So i'm currently working on my PiStation..
(look at my previous post if you're interested)
I'm imaging over RetroPie over to the SD card, screw back together the housing, and it boots up fine. As soon as i configured my XBOX-controller i got to the wifi-settings. And when i try to access my wifi, guess what, it doesn't connect to my f**kin wifi. So i double check my wifi-settings in the router i just bought to get over my roommates paranoia (that's a whole another story. Just in short, he's got no idea of IT-security and tries to be an admin, which results in a HUGE amount of bulls**t), confirm that the settings are alright, double check the PSK too, anything is fine. So i go through the whole process again, download the image (from their goddamn slow servers), open up the PiStation, image it over to the SD card, close it back up, anything boots up fine and works, except this f**king wifi. And the thing is, i COULD connect it with a patchcable, but i dont want cables going anywhere through my room. Currently imaging over recalbox OS, will keep you updated. I just want to play some old retro games ._.2 -
Is is possible to still update Win7 to Win10 for free? I know they dont offer the upgrade option free like they did a couple years ago.
I've read several articles stating a Win7 key will work for Win10. Can anyone verify this still works as of recently? I want to update my main dev machine but want to make sure I dont massively screw it up.
kthx17 -
I personally hate that ad blockers block analytics software, specially since (as by the law) users must give consent before it collects data, several options exist to opt-out, and they are not f'ing ads.
I've been thinking to set a cron job to fetch analytics.js regularly and serve it locally as, let's say jquery-4.0.js, and screw it. What's your insight about it, fellow frontend devs?8 -
Round 2 of trying to warranty repair a new monitor (Samsung CF791 ultrawide). Of course, it would die right after the 30-day return period with B&H so now I’m at the mercy of Samsung. Spent $70 on special packing to send it to Samsung so they couldn’t claim it broke during shipping. It came back to me in a box that looked like a homeless person had once lived in it. And it still didn’t work. I just sent it off again, this time in the same box they sent, as if to say “screw you for making me spend $70 for nothing”. I fully expect it to come back still not working. And I’ll demand a replacement. $700 monitors aren’t worth what they used to be.1
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There are certain libraries that make complex tasks simple. Take Django's ORM. Dead simple to use. Until you get only 1k rows in your database, and suddenly each page view takes a minute.
Treat it with the respect it deserves. If you treat it like magic, it'll screw you. -
Screw clients man, request multiple complicated changes to the payment and authorization model for month on end, not enough time to test and no QA team and then act all surprised when we can't consider 20 possible scenarios for every code change. Suck a dick while you're at it, we have other projects and clients that value quality over money milking customers with bullshit.3
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I JUST WANT TO FUCKING EXCLUDE A DIRECTORY....
I run the code cleaner tool, OH CHRIST it's trying to sanitise the automatically generated code, I don't want this.
I try to exclude... takes ages to work out that while specifying the dirs is absolute you can only exclude relative but from what? I want to block a/b but not a/c/b but no it's all you can only block all b b it a/b, b/b, c/b, c/b, a/c/b, etc.
I google for other solutions, nothing but trash, docs a trash, here's some examples but we don't tell you the actual behaviour. All I want is to get everything in /home/hilldog/emails but not /home/hilldog/emails/topsekret how hard can it be?
I use the source but what's this, BeefJerkyIteratorIteratorBananaSpliterator all over the shop how much convolution and LOC does it take to provide a basic find facility?
Screw this...
$finder->in(explode("\n",trim(exec('find '.escape_args(...$good).' -type d ' . implode('
-o ', prefix('\! -wholename', escape_args(..$bad))) . ' -etc | grep -vETC \'pretty_patterns\''))))
3 -
Altera Quartus II. Fuck it. Fuck its licensing, its installation script, and its humongous size!!!
Seriously! It's almost impossible to install it properly on Linux in one go! 😠
And "Aborted. The application will now exit". Well, thank you my good man, for the fucking helpful error message!!! Go screw yourself!
Also, first post ^^
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