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Friend: "What is devRant?"
Me: "A place where programmers tell jokes and complain."
Friend: "Why dont you just do that irl?"
Me: "Because we never test in production"13 -
Random Uncle: So what do you do?
Me: Uncle, I'm a dev at xyz company.
RU: Ah so what do they do
Me: Uncle we work in the internet advertising business, kind of like AdSense
RU: So you basically spam the web?
Me: Yes :/10 -
Me: That's not how browsers work.
Designer: Well, our users need it.
Me: Uh, I'm not arguing with your idea, but no browser supporters that kind of thing
Designer: Well, figure it out because it's not optional.
Me: ... I'm not disagreeing with you, I'm saying that's not something we can do.
Designer: So, what will it take? What do we need to do to get this in?
Me (not actually): motherfucker this isn't a negotiation! I'm not arguing I'm fucking explaining the limitations of web apps!25 -
Someone at Google: how do we make Android build times quicker?
Someone else at Google: we could make a new button next to Run and call it 'Instant Run' and give it an awesome lighting bolt icon!
First someone: what will it do differently?
Second someone: nothing 😎14 -
We got a sever with two Intel Xeon E5520 processors and each processor has 8 cores and 2.27GHz.
Also the server has 36Gb of internal memory.
What do we do with it? We play Solitair 😎
19 -
Client: Can you build a Snapchat clone but better?
Me: I’m going to say probably not logical given the resources they have and what we have, but for curiosity, what kind of budget do you have?
Client: $2500.
Me: Get out.7 -
Got a great boss!!;
Me: Hey, do we have a corporate GitHub account?
Boss: *excitedly* do we need it? We'll get it!
Me: uhh, yeah, we need it 😉
Don't care he doesn't know what it is, got his trust to get all the right tools!11 -
Are you interested in a devRant hackathon? If so, please let me know what you'd like to see us do/what you would want to get out of it. There's lots of directions we could go, but I want to get as much feedback as we can from the community to try to figure out what would be the most fun and inclusive. Thanks!23
-
I heard that "options are options" so - maybe we should have even more options. What do you think?
26 -
How to get funded in 21st century
CEO: we have an AR/VR/MR company that uses an AI that writes AI & we run on blockchain
What do they actually do: WordPress Bitch 🤣🤣🤣2 -
Me : We have 3 guys , 850 hours of content to develop, and you want this by mid Feb...
Account Manager : Yes
Me: ... (Doing math in head)..
Account Manager : This has to happen , what do we need to MAKE THIS HAPPEN..
Me: A time machine....
- awkward silence -10 -
Lead engineer: "Well, uh... I haven't really prepared a test for you but the HR insists that I should test you before wrapping up this interview.. so uh.... what do you suggest we should do now?"
Me: "Um... how about we walk through my latest project code and you can ask me to optimize it?"
Lead engineer: "Sounds cool, allright let's do that. How much time do you need?"
Welp. Did I just pick my own interview question?5 -
User: oh! An error message.
Message : Problem XY has occurred. Do YX to fix the problem.
User: Ok I try everything except what it says. ...
Ok that didn't work. I ask the IT
IT: Have you tried what it says?
User: no I didn't know ...
IT:ok do it.
User: 0.o It worked! why do we pay you if it is so easy?
Every goddamn time 🤦🏻♂️3 -
My very first meeting with a new client:
Client: We need to launch in 6 weeks. Do you think you can hit that deadline?
Me: Do you have a spec for what needs to be done?
Client: No we don't.
Me:
3 -
Me: What do you want?
Client: We don't know exactly
Me: By when do you want it?
Client: Yesterday
🙊🙉🙈7 -
Client: "Hey we want you to integrate your product with our system."
Me: "Oh, OK. Where's your API?"
Client: "Here! We even have an outdated .Net SDK, we use XML."
Me: "Ok.. how do we authenticate? What's your OAuth 2.0 endpoint?"
Client: "O auth what?"
Me: " You know, the current standard for REST API authentication and authorisation"
Client: " What's REST?"
*Hungs up*8 -
Manager: As you all know I called this meeting to discuss what we will do with all of the extra resources if we are done early. I was thinking a start a new ap—
Dev: We are not going to be done early. There are two weeks left and we are way behind schedule.
Manager: Don’t be so pessimistic! You never know when or how fast tickets will be completed.
Dev: Yes I do…I’m the one doing them4 -
!rant
*me logging into the demo system*
Me: so what is the login data?
Boss: we are a security company, what do you think?
Me: admin admin?
Boss: admin admin.3 -
"We need to reduce the scope of the project, guys... What if we don't make tests? They're taking some time do write, so..."
Yep. Let's compromise the quality and call it scope reduction. It will make wonders to our roadmap 👍6 -
One component is used over 30,000 times. How many unit tests do you think we have for it? Zero. Fucking zero, Zip, Zilch, Nada, None.
WHAT THE QA FUCK!?6 -
In my company we have a weekly meeting for the Tech deparment, so today the IT Director (my direct manager) was describing an issue we are experiencing with our DNS, and he asked
"What we should do with our DNS?"
Instantly I said out loud:
"Resolve them"3 -
Sometimes when people ask what I do for I living I say: talks to machines.
Thats what we do, we know the langauage to tell the machines what to do, how cool isnt that??8 -
Customer logic - "We'd like a website but we don't know what we want...so can you do a whole thing so we can change 80% of it day after day until we are bored of it? Thanks"4
-
Lets get to know eachother, shall we..?
It's come to my attention that all we do is either rant, or post memes! Lets talk! D;
What's your favorite programming language?
How about spoken/written language?
Favorite band?
Song?
Do you sit or stand while working?
What's the last four digits of your SSN? Haha, jk..
What are you passonate about?
What projects (programming or otherwise) have you started/picked up/finished lately?
What else do you want to share?
Answer as many as you'd like~97 -
"Why do you think we should delay launching the new site?"
Because it's late afternoon on a Friday.
"So? What does it matter?"
Here's a bunch of good reasons.
"Nah let's do it today anyways."3 -
What I hoped to do today: program
What my parents hoped to do today: go to the pool
What we are actually going to do today: go to the pool
ABSOLUTELY AWSOME7 -
Lead dev: Hey boss, you really do like Python right?
Me: No
Lead dev: Well it's cuz I was think....wait what? WTF do you mean no, you have automated a fuckload of BS with Python and we are still using it, why tf would you use Python if you don't like it?
Me: I like it enough for the automation scripts that we have and for parsing documents or generating glue scripts, its already installed in every server that we have, so testing bs in dev and then using them in prod is cake, it doesn't mean I LOVE python, I like it for what we use it.
Lead dev: Well ain't already bash and perl installed as well?
Me: Do you know bash and or perl?
Lead dev: No, don't you?....
Me: No......
L Dev: (using a Jim Carrey impersonation) WELLL ALLRIGTHY THEN! What is the other language that you used for X project?
Me: Clojure, do you remember that one?
* he said paren paren paren paren yes paren i space paren do close paren close paren etc etc
L Dev: (((((((yes (i (do)))))))) and nevermind, I'll get back to working more with Python
Me: das what I fucking thought esse6 -
Made the mistake of mentioning ISO27001 security standard near management.
- "What?? Why don't we have that certificate?! Why are you not thinking about this?"
- "We don't need it."
- "Of course we do! we must have the highest standards!! Lets hire some lawyers and security consultants to help us get certified!"
A week later:
"Ok, turns out we don't need it."
Satan give me strength...9 -
Came out to the country with my wife and her friends. We were all sat around in the sun and I asked what we were going to do. She said we can do whatever we want. So I got my laptop and sat in the shade. She then had a go at me for being unsociable. FFS7
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Everyday I wake up, I just think where did humanity go wrong? What mistakes were made? How the fuck did we end up with IE? And why do people still use it?5
-
IT Requests:
"I need (insert vague IT related need), because otherwise we can't do our job."
- What have you been doing up until now?3 -
Part of an honest interview :
- What is your biggest weakness?
+ Triceps femoris muscles
- Why do you want this job?
+ Earning money to buy food so that I don't die of hunger.
- How do you handle pressure?
+ By shouting the word fuck
- What are your goals?
+ Have a cheek in bed every night.
- We will be in touch.
+ you never call, do you?
3 -
What do Developers at Office do when the internet is down ?
(at mine, we play the dinosaurs game and compete for the highest score.)16 -
justfollowus.io
ontwitter.io
because.io
wehave.io
abeautiful.io
name.io
and.io
logo.io
even if you don't know what we do. just fucking use our tools.io4 -
Manager: What the heck are you guys doing? Pair programming?! That would halve the team productivity!!!
We:
Manager: Alright, Let's do a "quick" four hours meeting. Everyone in the company MUST attend!
We:3 -
Are we just programmed to stay awake all night? Even if we have nothing to do?
Like, it's 4 a.m. in my country and I just can't fucking sleep! What is this?!11 -
Me: Boss, i am not qualified for this. This is something totally different that what i do.
Boss: Just do what you can.
* Me does something which seems to work*
-- A few months or even years later:
Boss: Our distributed systems don't longer work. What happened?
Me, after checking different system: Oh, there is a key that expired. I didn't know this key had an expire date. So they can no longer connect.
Turns out we have to visit every remote system (driving distance of a few 100's km) and set a new key. We couldn't do it remotely since we lost access.
Maybe, just maybe, when your employee says he isn't qualified for a task, listen and search someone that know what he is doing.2 -
Boss: do you remember the other team? we need to fix one of their bugs
Me: amm, okey np
Boss: do it when you have time, but don’t forget to finish your things first.. and we need that fix by the end of the day.
Me: //what a beautiful monday <3 -
Team: Qt doesn’t let us build the UX we have in mind. Web is the future.
Me: what do you guys recommend ?
Team: Electron! We vote for Electron!
Me: Alright, who know JavaScript here?
Team: ...9 -
X: What do you wanna earn?
Me: Well the average is $$$.
X: Okay. We will pay you $.
Me: ... okay.... .... ... ... -_-''5 -
The sad thing is no matter what we do we are all a variation of homer 😂🤣
Borrowed from https://medium.com/@cscalfani/...
1 -
A true story.
"Ok you did a very good job during these 3 months, so we think you can go on with us."
"Thanks, so how about the final contract?"
"What? oh no eheh, you will do other 3 months as test because we want to see if you can do also other stuff not only as developer, we need that you act also like a secretary, a tester, a manager, and working again for home after work, and also during the weekend, but we can't pay extra work of course. So, what you think?"
The magic world of startups5 -
Me: here's the code.
Sr: allright, looks fairly ok. Just change all *FIELD* modifiers to protected rather than private.
Me: what? Why???
Sr: bcz that's the code style we've adopted.
Me: srsly? If so.. Where do you use private fields then?
Sr: nowhere. We use either protected or public so we could extend any class we want9 -
New client: can we go live next month?
Me: do you think you are our only client, or do you want to pay an extra priority fee?
New client: what?
Me: what?
*Crickets"4 -
Them: "What can we do to fix this?"
Me: Contact the vendor
Them: Ok, but from our side?
Me: Wait for the vendor to reply
Them: And what can we do to prevent this from happening again?
Me: get better vendors, include I.T on the process when the org decides to purchase shitty third party software.
Them: Ok but besides that?
Me: Drink?
Seriously tho, tf you expect me to do?5 -
It is incredible that we could see the Eclipse from Europe too :D
Wait, what do you mean this isn't the Eclipse everyone was talking about?!?
10 -
What do you mean you no longer want the feature? We have developed the feature, we have tested the feature, we have sign off for the feature. You are getting this feature, whether you like it or not!
-
While I am self employed, my clients can end up like my boss. In this case, one of my clients is the best "boss" I have ever had. We discuss everything from ethics to npm to development to board games. And we still get the job done.
He challenges me constantly to improve, and then we laugh over how we disagree with concepts, frameworks, etc. And we still get the job done.
It's fantastic to have a client who understands that you should be paid for your time, that lets you get what they hired you to do done without micro managing you (you trust me to actually do what you hired me to do? *gasp, shock*), and still enjoys the small talk. Though some of our ethics and society discussions can be rather large discussions.3 -
Client : We need real time analysis.
Me : But we can't just scrape thousands of results and process them on user's click.
Client : Don't do that, Real-time analysis is scraping it once and processing it everytime the user demands.
Me : Okay
WHAT THE FUCK !!!!!7 -
Team during retro: management is full of shit, what can we do about it?
Me, already during notice period: I have some ideas1 -
Top 5 biggest questions
1 What is the universe made of?
2 How did life begin?
3 Are we alone in the universe?
4 How to exit vim?
5 Why do we dream?8 -
In my first year of college right now, and on the first test we had to write some C# ConsoleApplications. We got instructions of what we have to taken as input, what we had to do with it and output it to the console.
I've tested them all and they all work correctly, which was the main objective. I have used the correct data structures, but I didn't get top mark. Instead, I got lower because "I didn't do it her way".
WELL F*CK YOU TOO!!! I hope this is not how every test/exam goes6 -
Customer: Do you have a 2GB RAM stick?
Me: Yes, we do. Do you know what you have and what you need?
Customer: Yes, I have a one-zero-two-four M-B stick and a two-zero-four-eight M-B stick.
Me: So... a 10-24 Meg stick and a 20-48 Meg stick
Customer: Yes.
Me: Ok.... and do you know if it's going to be DDR2 or...?
Customer: Yes, DDR2.
Me: Okay, yes, we do have some. And will you want us to install it?
Customer: No. I can install it. I've been putting computers together for 30 years, so I think I can do it.3 -
Hello devs, me and a friend want to do a little experiment. We want to install some kinda tracking software on his android phone to monitor everything he does for a few weeks to see what data/metadata his phone sends to what servers etc. Problem, we can't seem to find an app (free) which does this... Any recommendations?14
-
We are currently building a CRM for a company, and we have to demo it for some of the users, two guys start asking couple of questions.
Them: what it is built with?.
Me:PHP, do you know it?
Them: No we only know WordPress.
Me: well WordPress is built with PHP.
them: Ah that's probably why we thought it looked like WordPress.
Me: yeaaah probably... sure :)2 -
Programmer: We really have to refactor the codebase!
Director: That's not important. Do you think our customer would care what it looks like under the hood if we are selling cars?
One year after...
VP: We need to build a new platform for flexibility!
Director: Let's rewrite!1 -
They: You got the job! Du you acceppt?
Me: Let me think about it. Do you know what would help me deciding? Knowing if i could get 15% more.
They: We will check and let you know.
So lets see what will happen!2 -
PM: we need to show some progress, lets build a dashboard to display metrics.
Me: what metrics do we use ? The current period?
PM: No, those aren't good. Use math to show we made progress *wink*
Me: .......1 -
My bank sent me THREE identical letters for switching my account!
So what do we think, system or user error?
5 -
You know what really grinds my gears? When new employees start shouting out suggestions of what feature we should do.. and how stupid this/that thing now.. or how slow that page is.. or how there's a bug somewhere.
WHAT WOULD'VE WE DONE WITHOUT YOUR OPINION?! thank you so much!!!
+10 points if their job has nothing to do with product or development
SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP
please!!!15 -
I just thougt what could we do so the people start reading the terms and conditions. Finaly I have the solution we have to ask questions about the terms they just read. 😂3
-
My company don't trust the employees to the point, we have nearly meetings every 13 minutes explaining what we do.
I just wasted one week of implementing the features due to unnecessary meetings.7 -
I'm fucking tired. We have to deliver everything quickly and perfectly to a bunch of hienas that don't care how we do our job and won't stop complaining about us to our bosses, even though we do what they ask. we're not being given the proper tools to work and other teams in the company are a pain to work with, cause they'd rather sabotage us instead of cooperate. I'm fucking sick of this job3
-
My boss. Always forgets what he assigned me to do and assigns me to do something different just about each time we meet2
-
*working in android with manager who doesn't know android*
Me:"we need to establish different intents for x and y to get the job done"
Manager:"i dont need you deciding what I intend to do"
.... thats not what I meant by intent -
This is what I love about fellow devs - they know what's best, you don't need to ask something like "please keep adding xyz to your post so we can see if it...". We just do it. :3
2 -
FUCKING google doesn't allow our country to buy FUCKING partner or reseller program.
So what the fuck do we do as an agency, we have to fucking treat every domain and google business suites as seperate entities.
WHAT THE FUCK IS THE SHIT WITH THAT?
WE HAVE TO FUCKING KNOW THEIR ADMIN PASSWORD TO FUCKING MANAGE THEIR GOOGLE SUITE ACCOUNTS.
IT IS A FUCKING NIGHTMARE.
I HATE GOOGLE FOR THAT REASON ALONE.
I can care less of how much data you gonna steal from me.4 -
We have a quiet room
WHAT THA FUCK DO I NEED A QUIET ROOM FOR, I NEED A ROOM TO FUCKING RAGE BREAK SHIT AND FUCKING KILL SOME FUCKING CATS AND 9DFEHYPIUFHVBQHEWFOQ0EFVQOEIIIIUCFQOYWREIUXBNMFYKJDTYNSBGVBF7 -
"How do we share access to two-factor authentication."
What you mean is "how do we defeat the purpose of multi-factor authentication."
4 -
We want an App!
Our logo big and centre screen!
It's the emergency button to call for help in dire and potentially dangerous situations.
What? Our logo doesn't look like a button? Just do what we say.1 -
My Boss, another employee and me were having discussion on a functionality on the website "How we will do it". After talking to us, my boss called his former employee and asked him the same question "How we will do this functionality".
After talking with the former employee, he comes back and tells us the same that we told him on "How we going to do it". Which pissed me off and I am angry on him, why the fuck does he has to call the former employee about this.
What do you guys think, should I be angry?3 -
I know we have a lot of talented people here. Piece of advice, what ever you build, believe in it. See it through. No matter how good of an idea incompleteness won't get you anywhere.
After all every other day we all analyze different successful products and say "huh... that's nothing. Even we can do that".
Well thats the difference "We" can do that, they DID it.
See your ideas through. Stay motivated =)1 -
Fucking hate when business people says this to me:
- You have no time to do this, we will find somebody else to do it. (EXCUSE ME? how do you know I have no time? If have no time I WILL TELL YOU)
- Your team is too busy, we will outsource that (IF THAT it's a priority, we WILL DO THAT, fuck you, I'll tell you if we need to outsource or not)
- Requirements are too complex to do now. We will think about it and we will tell you, maybe it's just enough to add a column to db (WHAT? WHAT THE FUCK IS too complex? I didn't even see anything we can call requirement, nor speak with relevant people, so how do you fucking know they are complex if you don't know shit about dev and our platform)
Conclusion
It's true, I have no time, because I don't fucking understand what do you want, so I'm running all day and night doing useless things.2 -
Let’s see what are you currently working on guys 🤘🏻
I’m currently fixing bugs from an internal app from my job... it’s the first we do a fully functional application using SwiftUI
21 -
Me, programmer(not employed yet): you know what is crazy about coding test? I can easily do manually what test said, but teaching it to computer is surprisingly hard.
My brother, teacher(not graduated yet): I can easily solve middle school problems too, but teaching to kids is hard part. It seems like we do similar thing.2 -
Me: what we want our users to do is inherently complex. We can't make it "iPhone-intuitive", this thing needs instructions.
my boss: we have put people on the moon
me thinking: how intuitive do you think that rocket was4 -
"Customer's customer needs important thing ASAP!!!!"
"Ok wut"
"X, Y, Z!"
"Sounds good, we can do that, for what customer's customer!?!?"
"uhhhhhhh"
The volume of really important shit that we don't have details on is too damn high...1 -
For our business we are paying the highest plan the ISP provides (240 mbps) but we get 110 kb/s. Wtf!! You write them, they answer “give your address”, done, “we doesn’t see any problems”, calls a friend that also uses Telenet, “do you have problems”, “yes, no internet”. What de F*** is wrong?? It’s nearly a month like that!! They really need to do something!!
16 -
Guy's Discord bot "crashes"
we asked him what error.
"no error" he replies
we ask for a screenshot.
bot immediately exists
We ask: have you added this and this (`client.login(token)`)?
He replies: "yes"
We ask for sauce-code, he provides
what do we see? he forgot to add `client.login(token)`10 -
Rant time. So, me and a few classmates finally finished and handed in a website for a web development class a few days ago. Before we handed it in, we had a meeting with the professor to discuss what we still needed to do.
Us: Are we missing anything?
Prof: Nope. Looks good. Just make sure you have stylus implemented.
Us: Cool, thanks.
We got our grade back today. We didn't do as great as we'd hope, and here's one of the comments that the professor left us:
"You forgot to implement all of the CRUD operations. -4"
WHAT THE **** IS THAT? We asked you if we were missing anything, and you said no. You reminded us about stylus, which we looked at ONCE in a 13-week class, but you failed to remind us that we needed all of the CRUD ops?2 -
I love how different figures in tech got really different reputations.
Take Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerberg. We all love Elon.
What did they do different? What did they do wrong?6 -
My boss:
Doesn't manage the fucking agile board..
Doesn't call for meetings when we need...
Decides randomly for sprints duration.
Decides to do whatever he feels better with an obvious lack of thought.
Decides what to do based on assumptions instead of FUCKING ASKING THE FUCKING CLIENT!
Oh you stupid piece of shit how many time do we have to go over me explaining you how planning works and you pretending to agree?1 -
What you would do in a situation where your manager tells you to do "A" and your team lead tells you to do "B".
A and B are solutions to the same problem that we are trying to solve. Lead says the manager is wrong and Manager says they are correct.8 -
Code freeze is such an idiotic concept. What year do we have? Just make a goddamn release branch and do your codefreezy things there. Why the fuck would we stop the entire development just because you can't figure out git?8
-
That new devlead that just joined and is bad mouthing everything we did and introducing his own state management library he hacked together without understanding our architecture (Clean Architecture) nor what layers are supposed to do and what the sense behind layers is. Also we learned from him that apparently Android deprecated ProGuard, LiveData is deprecated and Lifecycles in Android are broken.8
-
One Join is fine.
Two Joins I can live with.
Three Joins and we are starting the project from scratch again.
Fuck you! What do I pay you for? Eating berries? No!12 -
Funny story:
We were going through Sprint Planning on Monday. We got through all of the tasks that we knew we had to get done, then we started going through the backlog to see what we could pull forward.
The guy running the meeting (who's not actually a Scrum master, but whatever) get's to a task, reads it aloud, and goes, "That doesn't ring any bells. Brian, it's in your name, it says it's from May, do you know what the status of this is?
Brian reads through it for about 20 seconds before saying, "That date says it's from 2017. I don't think we need it anymore."2 -
Co-Worker: How can I see what's linked to x variable in the database for this website? [we can't see the actual back end]
Me: Do a var dump...
Co-Worker: but what var do I dump? -
Me:To my new boss I think its fare we adopt version control for the project we working on.
Boss: No need just do what we hired you for.
Me:Its my second day of work and don't know how this will play out
Am beginning to dislike this boss he still sticks to old practices4 -
Code review?......... what's that?
Joke apart, We literally don't do that in my workplace, only few people care about code quality and what they are pushing to production2 -
Corporations... huge, old, monolithic
We want you to automate but will do everything we can to prevent you from getting resources to do it. Restricting policies, decisions by managers on "what they do not want". No procedures on how to achieve the result within policies. Half the business lives in a gray zone and sea of policy exceptions.
We finally decided to get at least Azure subscription instead of trying to develop similar framework internally, but wE DoNT WANt YOu to dEPlOY thERE As WE Don't cOnSIDEr it sAfE ENough.
Like pissing against wind.6 -
!rant && advice
I am an Android Developer, but about to start my final year. I got a mail from a company telling me saying...
"... and we are looking for problem solvers like you.
We Invite your CV and look forward to hearing back from you."
Stupid it may sound, but how do I reply to them? Do I also send a cover letter? If yes, what do I write? What do I mention in the email?
Thanks.1 -
!Rant
Wrote a crawler and now has 18 million records in the queue. About 500.000 files with metadata.
1 month until deadline and we have to do shit many things.
Now we discover we have a flaw in our crawler ( I don't see it as a bug ).. We don't know how much metadata we missed, but now we have to write a script that scrapes every webpage that we've already visited and get that metadata..
What's the flaw you ask? Some people find it funny to put capital letters in their attribute names.. *kuch* Microsoft.com!! *kuch*
And what didn't we do? We didn't lower case each entire webpage and then, only then, search the webpage for data..5 -
Management: ReactNative is great because it is faster!
Me: What else do we get from it?
Management: Facebook made it so it is good!
Me: 😑3 -
BOSS: We need to renew ourself.
ME: What do you think to implement a video game department?
BOSS: Go immediately in the server room
-
someone: Who are you ?
me: Programmer
someone: What do programmers do ?
me: We push shitty hacks into production2 -
We need more positivity:
Reason why you like coding? / Reason why you chose it as your career? / Why wouldn't you want to do something different?
Best feeling when coding
Nicest colleague/Best teamwork experience/Best boss/easiest client
What do you like about your position/job/company
Besides coding, what makes you happy
Your favorite stack/language/working environment3 -
Wow, very technical and clear documentation:
"While we do not publish the symbol limits for the streaming API, we do monitor for abuse to make sure people aren’t doing anything egregious. Essentially, ask for what you need. Don’t abuse the APIs and you should be fine."
...and, we all know what 'fine' stands for, right?
🤡2 -
Isn't US literally using AI/Technology as a war weapon by making Google blacklist Huawei? I mean, I'm afraid. What will we do tomorrow if my county gets blacklisted (not so far by the looks of it)? Can we even trust Google anymore?
P. S. India..13 -
What do you do for a living? I mean, since we're all in devRant, we are all programmers and developers here. But what do you specialise in and which language do you recommend for use in your field?17
-
My director has started a new thing. We all have to tell what we did the previous day, what we are planning to do in the current day and if there are any blockers.
Good thing, right?
The only thing is that all these things are already plotted on the sprint board. It’s right fucking there in front of our eyes.
So what do we do? Just reiterate what is already written there. Fuck my productive life.6 -
Seeing how smartphones are advancing every year, I would say in about 10-20 years, we will see lots of people using smartphones as their personal computer
What do you think?13 -
Today i was trying to solve a problem on my graphs algorithm (find the shortest path) but i was not able to do almost anything, so i asked for help to a friend.
He started to try to help me, but after a long reasoning we both stopped to understand what we were doing.
After a while, i've decided to run the code totally random and... it worked! And that's not all, it worked better than we were trying to do!
What a lucky shot😎
(Sorry if there are some errors, english isn't my first language)3 -
"Can we do X?"
Yes, we can do almost anything you want.
"Can we have it ready by last month?"
No.
"What about 2 weeks ago?"
Not feasible.
"Yesterday?"
Sorry I don't think we can.
For real though, how do you deal with unrealistic delivery expectations? I'm not sure if I'm supposed to keep saying no to everything, or if they keep asking in hopes that maybe this time it'll be ok.2 -
Rant about IT teacher
(This happened a few months ago)
I go to highschool and in ninth grade you learn about Excel and databases in general. In the first half of the year we learned how to use excel and in the second part of the year we learned about SQL databases.
So we learned SQL and how to set up a database using LibreOffice Base. At the end of the year we had to do one final project which was setting up a database and writing some queries.
We had to do it in groups of two and we had to choose for what we wanted to make a database.
We had like 5 minutes time to discuss it in the groups and me and my friend decided to do something like GitHub, so a database with tables for all the users, repositories, etc.
Then we had to tell our teacher what we wanted to do. Others made databases for hospitals, shops, netflix, app stores. The teacher asked the other groups, they told him what they wanted to do and he wrote it down. Here is how it went down with my group:
Teacher: So what do you want to do?
Me: A database for something like GitHub
Teacher: For what?
Me: GitHub
Teacher: what?
Me (very slowly): G I T H U B
Teacher: what is github?
Me: ...
(I was very surprised that he didn't know GitHub)
Me: well, you can upload files and work on them together with other people. There are also things like branches...
Teacher: Ah ok, so a cloud service
(I was done and wanted to end the conversation)
Me: Yes... it's a cloud service...
(Me in my mind: why do i have to be here)
We named our project 'GitGud', a little bit passiv aggresive.
Yeah so apparently my IT teacher doesn't know GitHub, however he installed Ubuntu on some of the school computers so I guess that's nice
We got an A so that's good.14 -
[Working on some really "urgent" report for an about to publish project]
dev: client, can you explain what this value is? we can't figure it out and we though tha...
client: im gonna stop you right there, DO NOT Analyse! we dont have time for silly questions, if the design says there's a 10, just put that freaking 10 in that place...
dev: but sr, we need to...
Client: what did i say? just stop saying things and build it!2 -
Client: I want a fixed timescale and cost on this project.
Me: OK, what do you need?
Client: We need to integrate our website with our CRM system, which we're in the middle of rebuilding and don't know what data will be available from it. We also want sophisticated Google maps integration, online sale, digital agreement signing and a customer login section that works as a social network for our clients. And we want it in six months time. And an app. And we want you to pitch for free with some initial design concepts. And we want details of you project management strategy.
Me: Ok... Do you know what you want your app to do?
Client: Yes, it's an app! So how much will this cost me?
Me: D':2 -
Ubuntu NHS
Maybe, we could finally see Linux in a non-technical environment!
What do you think about this?8 -
Is it only me that I feel I am so special for being a programmer, and also able to think, learn, and analyze better than other people?
I feel like we are small group of people that do magical things that change the world while nobody even realizes or appreciates what we do4 -
Product Managers: I know what users want! They want 10 different things stuffed into 1 piece of software that does nothing well because I don't understand budgets, timelines, or scope.
Everyone else: How about we do 1 thing, and do that well.1 -
So what's up with @chaosesqueteam ? Are his posts really THAT good (look at their updoots), or does he own a bot squad in dR? To me personally his posts do not make any sense (at least the recent ones)
What do we do about it?16 -
How about we contribute to a Devrant custom character creator. Like we create stuff for ourselves and others? Or adding more details. Like we can have a separate form for that.
What do you think?
@dfox @trogus6 -
So we have 4 web apps that do basically the same thing with some nuances...
Just realized this today by trying to do something in one that is already working in 3 of them and wondering: what the fuck? -
Thanks Cordova
"TL;DR Standards are great and all, but what do you actually have to copy-paste to replace the previous FileTransfer examples? We have you covered"
-
Yesterday we were four developers working together on a bug. What do you call it? Quad programming?
Anyway, we solved it!4 -
Client: I need you to integrate with this API.
Me: ok cool, but what are we doing with it (where does the data go/styling)?
Client: what do think we should do?
Me: well it would be really cool if we did it like this *short and sweet explanation of really cool functionality and design*
Client: I LOVE IT! Let's do it, oh also I need it done by tomorrow...
Me: *GOD DAMNIT, why do you always do this...don't you dare say ok* ok, yeah I can totally do that.
...now at the market stocking up on redbull2 -
At what point do you stop optimizing queries and realize it's a database architecture, scaling problem?
We've been having production issues this week because a lot more users with more demands, and I'm going we need more servers... We can't just have one db, we need to parallelize like Hadoop...
Everyone else is going, how do we optimize queries, indexes, reduce the load...11 -
My dad bought a 4k RokuTV and I set it up. We just spent the night using YouTube as the Travel Channel.
What else can I do that I can't do on PC/normal TV?2 -
Hey guys, my gf and I want to do something with the Arduino we got. We are getting a CS degree, so programming is not a problem, but we have quite basic knowledge of electronics.
What could be a cool simple (but not too introductory) project we could do?
The arduino came with a bunch of sensors (ultrasonic distance sensor, humidity, ...) some input (joystick, RFID reader/writer, buttons) and some outputs (LCD display, 8x8 LED matrix, bunch of color and RGB leds).16 -
I am currently working as a consultant and I like it. It also makes upset/happy/schadenfroh (not entirely sure how I feel about it) when we tell the client what work needs to be done in which order and why just so they can throw it all overboard and we do it the way they want it and it bites them in the ass a few month down the line.
They hire us for the external professional experience that we bring, so listen to us. We did this before, we know what works, and we know way your way does not work.13 -
Remember that big feature we were talking about 6 months ago?
We need it by next Friday for an important demo.
Of course we do.. what else..2 -
How the fuck do you do a performance review?
For me, we need to do self assessments.
Part of it is what I do well, part of it is what i need to improve.
No idea what to put, since I feel like I'm awful at everything lol.11 -
Somebody asked me for help on their thesis, gave them advise, how they should do it, what are the best practices on implementing things...
I asked the today how are they doing? They answered, we paid someone to do it, we can't do it...
Damn are they even studying and doing their daily programming practice???4 -
Me and one teacher i got, both Linux enthusiasts, decided that we should create an open source community and spread the word to other students, teachers and stuff from the university about Linux and open source in general.
First meeting went well, we got quite an attendance, people seemed curious and willing to learn.
Second meeting is tomorrow, and we decided to show them some Linux distributions and DE.
Guess what, we can’t decide what to show them.
He is a pure Debian lover, i use both Debian and Arch.
He insisted on Mint since he didn’t want to scare them with Debian.
I said that we could show them Manjaro.
So what do we do?7 -
Team: let's do "X".
Me: we couldn't do "X" because... We should do "Y".
Team: that's why we're saying let's do "Y"
Me: ...
What!!! What are they even thinking ?1 -
"I don't think we should be playing with our privates {variables} like that" - framework designer
= context =
It was noticed that we have too many setter functions to change private variables just to do unit tests. So we had a small meeting to discuss what to do about this.
Options:
- don't do the test
- ignore till another time (ie: keep the functions till its a problem)
- put the variables into a provider
- use reflection (the above quote was a reaction to this option)6 -
People wonder what would happen if internet went down while all it takes is npm repository and the dev world goes to shit xd
https://github.com/npm/cli/...2 -
So this group of students (mostly girls) from university approached us to make them a prototype app for their semester's project, we had a first reunion to know about the idea and what they wanted us to do.
All they talked about was the color and some minor design stuff, we still don't exactly know what we're doing since it was difficult for us to get them to actually define the requirements and what the app should do.
We were supposed to have a second reunion for us to show them some ideas but the day of the meeting they didn't reply any of our messages.
I'm not the kind of guy who gets upset easily, but if you ask us for help and then let us hanging not really knowing what to do with your shitty project, fuck you.2 -
!rant
If you drive, what do you drive?
Just interested to see what kinds of cars we favour.
I currently have a beat up Audi A3.21 -
4 hour lesson. We have to set up a virtual machine with WIndows Server 2012 R2... Image broken. Now the teacher doesn't know what we could do and lets us do what we want.
-
Random variation of how we learn based off a colleague.
1. I dont know what the fuck to do, i dont know what the fuck is going on
2. I don't know what the fuck to do, i know whats going on
3. I know whats going on, i know what to do
4. I know what to do, i dont know what the fuck is going on
Haha, i love my job, the place where devs play solitair with their Trello cards1 -
Being the only logical next step, do we have any info Microsoft's acquisition of PornHub yet?
Share your ideas what cool new features there are to be 😁4 -
I've got a mate at my current work. Most of what we do is insult each other, but there's a real respect there. We were both in similar positions in the company, where we were overworked, underpaid, undervalued and pretty unhappy. He was so helpful when it came to traversing the politics of the company, and how to work out what to do. Plus we get really drunk together all the time. I'm leaving my present company in a few weeks and I'll probably miss having him around the most.
-
"Ok guys, since we don't have money left and I have no funds to pay the bills, Let's just do a "work from home" policy"
What the fuck5 -
Team lead: guys, we need to brainstorm on feature X. We can have this service do blah blah..., have a cache at blah blah...
Me: I think it's too complicated. We can simplify the design by doing blah blah... and measure the performance as we go, let's not do premature optimization.
Team lead: no, we definitely need this. We'll pitch this to the CTO later
*Later when we meet the CTO*
Team lead: Hi Mr CTO, about feature X, we're gonna do this blah blah... what do you think?
CTO: *basically repeats what I said*
Team lead: Thank you for the insights, really helpful. We will do as you suggest.
WHAT THE FUCK?3 -
Trying to understand why do I have a course on Software Engineering which consists 80% of lectures on what Agile and Scrum mean.
Why can't we get to implement a project and work on agile as we go? 😐😣7 -
I used to work in IT support during my training, this is the most accurate description of the job:
If everything just works people will be like "what do we pay you guys for?" And if something doesn't work: "what do we pay you guys for?" ...*sigh*1 -
Although my profile is of full stack dev but at my company we barely do anything to scale anything.
Whenever I go for any interview, everyone asks me about scaling the application. What should I do?2 -
Ayoooo, fuck you telstra you cock mongering assholes. What the fuck do we pay you for.
Seriously, a 20s DNS lookup time for azure services -.-2 -
Since education has been industrialized on a large scale we will see more and more non geeky developers.. But I think geeky developers are always better.. What do you think?4
-
"We don't have a responsive layout so just do what you think is best"
(builds responsive layout)
"This responsive layout doesn't work as we expected"
(sends 5 pages of notes on how mobile layout should work) -
Client: we would like a fully featured web app with a companion mobile app. Here's what we want it to do
Us: ok nice. What's your budget for this?
Client: $5k
Us: ...6 -
I dont get it... I dont understand what my manager expects me to do when I am not really allowed to make design decisions, but there is no design at all! What are we doing here, manufacturing spaghetti? Today I asked my co-worker what our product should actually do exactly when its finished. He said he is not so sure either. And our manager is now on vacation so we cant ask what exactly he wants...
-
What do you do when a coworker leaves his/her desktop unlocked? We send an email about bacon to the whole group, and change the desktop background to a bacon-related image.6
-
What are your thoughts on the pinephone? Do you guys think we will finally get a phone that is truly open and gets updates for a considerable timespan?
https://www.pine64.org/pinephone/7 -
What possesses executives to create these ridiculous deadlines? They have no idea what's involved in the process of developing their application. In fact nobody does. So what we set deadlines first and figure out what we have to do second ? Does that make sense ?
-
I don't think meeting are bad nor good, it's like weapon, it's what we do with them that decide.
also, it's pretty easy to kill someone with it -
Ok, so we know you've not had any work to do for a week. Here's what we'll do - pick up this task to copy & paste shit code from one project to another. Don't worry yourself with what it does.
FMDL3 -
What do program codes and churches have in common? First we build them, then we start praying on them.🙏🏻
-
Won an Amazon Echo Show in a Hackathon where we spent most of the time integrating with Google Home.
I don't know what to do with the thing. 🤔3 -
👩💻 What do we need?
👨🏻💼 Digitalisation!
👩💻 When do we need it?
👨🏻💼 Yesterday!
👩💻 And what is our company's Content / BPM strategy?
👨🏻💼 ?!3 -
What do we do when the WiFi dont work
What do we do when the WiFi don't work
What do we do when the WiFi don't work
On Ubuntu 18.10
Disable secure boot and sign your own driver
Disable secure boot and sign your own driver
Disable secure boot and sign your own driver
Build it from the source code2 -
What is a cool naming scheme for the servers
for example we have 6 environments for the QC to run their tests, what would be a cool way to name them
I thought of bugs names,since we are a bug reporting company
what do you think guys8 -
So after hating on Windows toda y I learned it now has bash, WTF.
And it is basically debian.
So.. what do we think about it?10 -
What if all devs worked together to create a programmed God which only obeys devs? And hates bosses....
I think we can do it guys!
Ps. Bagsie not dealing with merge conflicts.10 -
Sitting in a meeting. PM asks if we can go with the schedule management has agreed with the customer.
So, now what do you expect us to say? We can say no, but if it's already settled up the hierarchy levels, it will not have any effect.5 -
Nobody wants to maintain XSLT mappings. Being a developer, even I don't want to. So what do we do? We parse the XSLT using JAVA code in a horrible attempt create an excel with mappings. God damn it!!1
-
So we pushed some quick fixes management required to the system before going home to sleep. We warned them that we don’t have much time to check and test them. Because ordinarily such fixes go fine, they insisted.
What do you know, while we slept some smartasses within users drained our system money through the new hole we did not notice.
Manager responsible for this just gone dark, never ever picked up his phone. Just disappeared.
We don’t do such fixes anymore 🤗2 -
This is just funny more then anything 😂
This guy has been fucking up non stop!
He did something incredible, we gave him precise EXACT instructions you couldn’t mistake them
What does he do? Everything wrong.
Granted what he does, works, but... it will take me hours to do what I want to do with the data, if he did it the right way, minutes!
All I wanted was all the active products for this company and their links on the site. He creates an export I can convert to google xml shopping.
What does he do? create over a 100 export buttons one for each supplier so it’s right but it’s all products for that supplier in one file.
So I can do my bit if I just combine 100 files together 😂
It’s funny because there’s already an export that does the exact thing we want just without all the right fields. This is what we asked.
He just needed to duplicate that and add more fields 😂 we think he’s doing it on purpose to be a dick 😂 no one can be that dumb.
I’m laughing cause it’s fucking ridiculous. He’s gonna get fired soon, and he knows it. -
What do you mean you sent a fucking mail about it? Theres a reason we have case systems with case fucking numbers. Its so that we can keep track of different customers, which is crucial for day to day operations. You retarded fucking fuck.
-
I'm so confused by our architecture and development process in general
We planned what features are to be implemented (e.g. what endpoints should do what), but there are parts of tasks which depend on others, and I'm not sure what classes to build or when to start a task given that related ones are being done by other developers, I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing
I could maybe do all of this alone my way if it was just me, but when I ask in planning about how we should go about implementing shit together, I just get backlash from this senior developer telling me we shouldn't waste time discussing implementation details in planning
Like, what the fuck do you want me to fucking do, just implement all the dependencies of what I'm doing from zero, without reusing any of the code other devs are doing that touches on the same parts?
Fucking hell, man, this is the third sprint where I'm confused like this
Maybe I'm just too dumb to be a developer after all lol6 -
It is with great pleasure that I announce I have just been appointed the CEO of Garalina.
With all those amazing people we have on board, we as a company will carry on delivering what we do best — the entertainment meets therapy. With your support, we can evolve and extend our reach way beyond the select few families we had a pleasure to work with.
Stay tuned!6 -
What do people feel about remote work?
I got into my current work about 8 months and we all were remote working.
In 8 months, we met in person several times and worked together at one place for a week or two.
We have never overcome the feeling of a disconnect when we work remotely. There's less focus and less clarity on things to do.
Is this common? How do people be focused and productive in remote work?
Also how do people communicate effectively?2 -
I been working on an app for two years. No new tech, slow paced because it's the only one of its kind... yesterday the client send me an email of a new app that do exactly what we do. Let's the games begins
-
Stuck on 1 website project for 2 months. Client is making changes to the project each time we go and have meeting with them.
GM be like, we will do it for free as part of our service.
What the fuck?6 -
Customer: It doesn't do what we wanted it to do, we have this issue, this particular usecase doean't work because you didn't use the patch we sent you. Please use it!
Me: I used most of it, I just fixed few broken parts and dropped part handling the hardware you realized you don't have and I just retested this particular usecase and it works! -
We were learning a programming language for implementing our idea in hackathon.
A student who is a comp student and has no idea about coding asked us "What u do in hackathon? Do u hack computers... :/"5 -
Said to me one time by someone I worked with who wasn't a dev over the course of a 5min talk
I don't know what you do
...
We can't have this project fail
...
It should only take 3 months but we gave you 62 -
Alright my fellow devs and other tech related/adjacent people, we can easily glean from your rants and profiles what you do while developing. But I want to get to know the person behind the screen. After all we aren't our jobs.
So, outside of software development and related activities, what do you do in your spare time?7 -
No, friends and family, just because I code doesn't mean I'm a software engineer, or "in IT" and no, websites don't resize themselves to fit mobile devices with fekin magic, that's what we do as web devs, we MAKE that magic
-
That we all fail and for every time you think someone else is stupid or falls into mistakes, you will fall into your own mistakes and be stupid in front of someone else, no one is perfect, we are all humans and at the end our work is to tell machines what to do and if they do it wrong, it's because we told them to do it that way and we are wrong.
-
Everyone loves freebies!
So solicited spam time 😎
Developer Nation is running a survey to gain insights, explore trends and track developer experiences across platforms, languages, revenue models, verticals, tools, segments and regions.
Yea ok, it's a massive questionnaire, but did I mention the freebies?
https://developereconomics.net//...7 -
My teacher wants us to use double spaces instead of using TAB and withdraws some points if we use tab for indenting. What do you guys think about that? It's C though.4
-
So I just had to look up, what a "Deeplink" actually is.. Why the fuck do we need a word for this and why is it only used by marketers.5
-
What to do as junior, if multiple seniors (4) aren't in sync with each other. Following different convention on same client's project. Even after 3 years they didn't able come up with seemless infrastrure. The code is getting ugly day by day. No review happens. Is that normal? As they are not in sync, we, juniors are frequently getting confused what to do. What could be done? I'm planning to leave the project somehow. Don't know what to do. 😑6
-
Spent days telling people what to do. What the database fields should look like, went down to every little bit, which was annoying because I hired them to think for themselves.
Spent a couple days verifying this and that. "Is this field really needed?"
Of course it's needed, otherwise why would it be in the specs? It took me two fucking days to communicate on these things they could have just done in half an hour.
They do it wrong. It's been clearly outlined and it's still wrong.
Management then insists on more communication so things don't go wrong. We have meetings every day to discuss what must be done. Every other day we have meetings between another project leader to discuss what we just discussed. Every two days we have progress report meetings.
We spend 70% of the time communicating now and everyone still gets everything done wrong. This is why you have to be really, really careful when hiring. Technical interviews can just be giving someone a spec and seeing whether they can do it. -
let's call him Richie. Richie doesn't listen in team meetings, does not have any clue of what we are doing and what the important topics are. Richi is hiding between the cars in the parking house to not have to talk to you on the 2min way to the office. Richie is 'done' when he encounters any problems in his work so we have to do it. Yeah, we all love Richie...3
-
So with all this new political correct bullshit pandering to the extra sensitive snowflakes, what do we call a “blackout” from now on?9
-
wanted to do a poll for my team, Which should we use for development of spring-boot?
I personally recommend VSCode, what about you guys?
19 -
Manager: This spec is due by cob, please answer ASAP. What bitrates do we support for png?
Me: 0. We support a bitrate of 0. -
We're developers, we use our logic everywhere, we might be use our brains more than others, so I ask you:
Have you ever thought "I'm the smartest of my friends", if yes, what is or what do you think your IQ is?
(using the common deviation IQ)5 -
In the middleschool we have teacher who wasn't very skilled. We were learning about copying files, creating folders, writing in word...
So me and my frend were bored and do other stuff, talk loud and joking.
Teacher than got angry at us and want to punish as. So he made us show, how to creat new folder in explorer. Thinking we would know.
Me and my frend did it in sec. He just stood there in silence and didn't know what to do. We continue to do other stuff. -
So. I began college this year. I will be majoring in Computer Science. There first thing as a new student I did was signed up for the Computer Science Club and excited for the new adventure I asked, "What are we going to do?
President: "Nothing. We don't have any programmers or budget. But you can do whatever you want."
I don't know what I felt: maybe lost? a little dead inside?
What a disappointment.
6 -
*weekly team planning session, my first week*
They: "We don't estimate on effort required, we estimate on the number of unknowns"
Me: "How do you know unknowns?"
They: "Exactly. Also, we don't account for 0 unknowns."
Me: "What if it's a simple text change?"
They: "There's always unknowns."2 -
LINQ queries or stored procedures? I prefer LINQ.
My boss says, if we are using LINQ we must be lazy and stupid.
What do you'll think?7 -
More stars in the universe or LEDs on earth? Screen pixels do not count.
Edit: what if we added pixels?4 -
For coding advice
Don't stop thinking
Keep asking how and why a thing works
Learn the logic
Pick any one language
Write some code, do mistake, fix, learn and repeat
Do keep a balance of coding and real life ,playing games are necessary
Do exercise as well....
Maybe some more things we can , but most important is
Do what you love not what others love.
It's your life live and code your way... -
What do I need to know to transition from a frontend developer, to a full stack developer?
Right now I am using AngularJS (I know, very old) at my work and we are transitioning to either React or Angular. My goal is to pickup back end tasks so I can eventually become a full-stack developer. What do I need to do to get there?4 -
One manager at the Client company tells us that unless we submit weekly timesheets we wont get paid.
We are not their employees, nor do we have an agreement with them for full time work.
" Whole thought process is to structure the engagement better ,so that we can implement better governance and provide better visibility."
Anyone understand what is being said above? Jargon.2 -
What we should do:
1. Find problem
2. Stop debugger
3. Change code
4. Restart debugging
What we all do:
1. Find problem
2. Forget about the debugger and change code immediately
3. Stop and Restart debugging -
What if we have a AI that will build code what ever we say?
Is it be a new concept or new programming , it would so easy to build any software.
Maybe in a future some one will do this I hope.3 -
Show sales/marketing a feature working flawlessly: "neat."
Show them a slightly buggy feature:
"why doesn't that work yet, what do we pay you for, I thought you said this was easy!" -_- -
Some wild thoughts, why not change the name from programming to progoogling 😐, cos thats what we do6
-
I have a class on my college on which we can choose what to do as a final project the only requisite being that we need to do something we haven't covered in any class at the degree.
I want to be a Gameplay programmer and saw that many offers ask for Lua, then I think this is an opportunity to do something in Lua and learn the basics but I don't know what to do, any ideas of a simple project I can do in Lua or a framework that uses Lua that can teach me the basics of it?
Tl;Dr: Want to do a small project in Lua, have no idea what to do tho. Ideas?4 -
When did this sector get too busy to do design? All we do is throw cupcakes against the wall now. Even with breakfixes a simple “what do you need from System X and what can you pass in?” is now deemed too slow.4
-
Here in Brazil we call flash drive's a "pendrive". Why? IDK. What do you call it in your country?19
-
!rant
"The joy of discovery is one of the best things about being a software developer."
~ Eric Elliott -
A question for all of you. What is the best way in CS to earn enough money for a comfortable life standard and where can people go for this?3
-
"Sorry, I heard you're good with maths can you just derive that equation for me real quick?"
90% of what we do is maths why are you here?2 -
I got relegated to updating an old project. It takes just 35 lines to do what we can write as a single liner in the new one.2
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TMW you go to a meeting to be presented to an idea you gave two meetings ago.
Them: what do you think, guys? We all onboard? -
I am a 3rd year undergraduate and we need to make a web based project. Problem is no one on our team has ever made anything web based or even a simple website before. We need to run some Java code in the backend apart from that we are free to do whatever we want. Any advice on what frameworks to use and what to avoid?
I literally have zero experience on this so any advice is appreciated!3 -
Hey I am actually proud of myself today :) I managed to pretty much do my task at work and I got a lot of school work done. Pretty nice day. Not every day is full of rants and anger people. A lot of times it's good we do what we love.
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Hour 0: "Ugh, this sucks. What was I thinking? Trash it!"
Hour 2: "There we go, much better. Just a few kinks to work out..."
Hour 6: "Alright, that'll do. ...Wait, that's almost identical to what I started with!" 😕 -
I really don't know what to do when I can't get the help that we need.
We use the initial version of Jasmine for unit testing and AngularJS (not 2, 3, 4+, but 1), so it's hard to find any good examples online to create my tests. My coworkers help, but since testing isn't something we do at all (or at least very often), they are unsure on how to help me.
I don't know what to do. I feel very unproductive and not valuable to the company at this time.2 -
I'm following a course to become a Fullstack Web Developer. We have class in the morning and in the afternoon we get some "homeworks" to do. In the afternoon we are followed by some tutors that help us understand better what we did in the morning.
I have this one tutor that never answers to my doubts regarding bugs and errors (in my homeworks) and opens new doubts and problems I didn't think I had..
Why do ppl have to do this, like I'm alreay having one trouble that makes me feel unsecure.. Why do you make things bad and never help? -
There is only one life what you want do now only because we don't know after mixing in the mud again we will come to this earth or not. So Trust in your self work for your dreams and catch them.
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So im working for this company and we work monday to friday....and i think my CTO is "funny"...we can be free half the week with not much work to do or we actually have completed all the work that was described... but he then comes in friday evening and tells us how everything should be working on monday....what everything?! What fucking everything?!!! Mind you we don't come in saturday or sunday......the everything he is talking about is suggestions we had made to him about how the system should work and he said no....now he thinks its a better thing to do....and he pushes all those refactors on the last day of the week....we had all week nigga what the fuck!!!....
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!rant
Isnt this video cute?
https://youtu.be/rjrxOOfi54k
I think Microsoft should make that a TV commercial...
Think what energy we would save, and how greener the world would become if everyone would use Edge instead of Chrome... Or what do you think?1 -
Sent a User Story link to a senior that he had requested (10+ years of exp)...
Me: Sir, why do we need this US?
Him: Why
Me: Yes sir, why do we need that?
Him: Yes, that's what I'm asking you, why do we need this?
Me: But sir I asked first 🙄1 -
What do you do when clients are not able to specify what they exactly want? Do we present them with one or more possible solutions?5
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What is your favorite way of advertising? Is it more technical, like "Here, thats what we have" or is it somerhing else? Oh and i do mean advertising in the context of presentations, or something like the product website4
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Why do they demand 12-month goals when we use Agile Methodologies?
If we do it right, we don't know what we are working on next sprint, let alone 12 months.
Our goals are to work on the highest priority stories. We are not to work on stuff "in the background", so how can we have any long-term goals?
The only things we can plan are outside of our actual jobs (like conferences, training, pilot programs/hackathon projects, etc.) So the only things we can review at the end of the year are not the most important things we do.
Poor managers love numbers and checklists to hide behind.2 -
Front-End developers :
Guys, what should we do for dark mode ?
Hmmm..
Guys:
Background-color: black
Thats enough, DONE.
No,no dont forgot this :
colo:#ffffff ! important.
Thats it.2 -
Could we have other dark themes on here? I was thinking of something with different combinations of colours and contrast options. What do you think?2
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What do we all think about Microsoft’s strategy regarding vs code ? Are they actually incorporating their intellisense engine into the open source ??? Are they scrapping vs ? Seems uncharacteristic of their previous models.
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One of our previous clients is not paying the rest of the payments after receiving the codes. What are the things we can/should do digitally to make them pay the payment?
btw, it was a web app. we worked on the front end and the backend of the app. So, naturally we know all the API endpoints, we have the database access, and so on. So yeah, we can do so many things.
But still I wanna ask you guys, what would you do to make someone pay?3 -
What alternative do you use for EF Migrations?
We are in current stage that it's slowing our build time for 30 seconds, and each month we need to clean them and do the same for the whole pipeline (dev, qa, prod)...
It's way uncomfortable to work with it since we have stored procedures and ef doesn't track them...
What alternative did you chose to use?1 -
I think what is not being understood is we want nothing to do with these pieces of shit or their ridiculous waste of life.2
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What do you guys think? We decided to rewrite Ansible. And I made a post about it. Is it ok to write about project having no code in the repo yet?
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Who or what company do you think did the greatest contribution to the computing world we know today? Turing? Xerox?3
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What if instead of vertical slices across front end and back end for dividing work, we did horizontal slices and hope we don't do redundant work, miscommunicate or struggle to provide front end precisely what it needs from back end if at all.
fuck me
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