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(was teaching C++ to a newbie)
Me: aight, so to print a statement, you type cout.
(Proceeds to do so)
Her: um, okay but printer is not connected.
Me: aw, you poor thing.10 -
2 of my co-workers don't know that they shouldn't write any code after return statement of a function18
-
"It is just a small task. I can do that in just..." Never ever ever say the above statement even if you are 10000% confident.5
-
1. Code works
2. Add if statement
3. Code breaks
4. Comment out if statement
5. Code works
6. Uncomment if statement
7. Code works
8. Wtf??12 -
Just replaced a 300 line switch case with a simple if statement inside a foreach loop.
Feels sooo good man9 -
*spends 40 minutes modifying and remodifying algorithm*
*gets the same output*
....
*checks print statement*
print localVariable
*throws keyboard out the window*4 -
So Python doesn't have switch-case statement... I feel so dirty having to use multiple if-elif-else
*sigh*12 -
Dev: Why do you have an identical if statement right below this one?
Manager: Because I want the code to double check, obviously.
Dev: …19 -
Our programming teacher always wanted us to do this (in C#):
somedatatype somevarname;
somevarname = somevalue;
You were NEVER allowed to:
somedatatype somevarname = somevalue;
"Can't I just do it in one line?"
"No."
"Why?"
"<insert dumb statement here that gives no reason whatsoever>"9 -
Sales manager: Hi all, we are launching a new internal hackathon. Form up a team with the right expertise to help with address the problem statement and get going!
Me: what’s the problem statement?
Sales manager: you have to sign up first. There’s proprietary company info with our plans for next year involved. You have to agree to terms and conditions before continuing. Legal say so.
Me:
*signs up*,
*fills in docU-sign*,
*clicks through 3 other screens*
Ok let’s see this problem statement.
“What new and magical customer experience can you create and launch to win in our markets”
... that’s not a fucking problem statement ... and why the fuck does that require filling out a docu-sign form to see?
I REALLY fucking hate legal / sales people. Wasting everyone’s time.4 -
Especially painful being a cybersecurity engineer;
Did something wrong with an if-statement.
Caused authentication to break completely; anyone could login as any user.
Was fixed veeeeeeery quickly 😅 (yes, was already live)8 -
At least, it was honest comment by developer........
Have you ever encountered such funny statement/code ?
3 -
Discovered one of the worst db designs ever:
- A cust is inserted in a table.
- The insert trigger is fired, calling a stored proc
- The stored proc being called creates a dynamic sql that builds a create table statement for 8 different tables. These tables will be postfixed with the newly-created cust id and is executed.
When querying info for a cust, a stored proc is used that accepts an id value would be appended to another dynamic sql that creates a select statement across all 8 tables for one customer.
Shoot me now.10 -
My code broke for no reason.
I added a log statement to see why.
*tests code*
It worked....
What the 何?!5 -
My team mate has just found the best conditional statement I've ever seen, in a source code he received from the client.
if (1 == 1)... and it has an else branch :D11 -
Saw an if statement like this in a hand me down company project:
If(!x && !Y && !Z && (A || (!B && C)))11 -
C is not that hard:
void (* (* f[ ]) () ) () declares f to be array of unspecified size, of pointers to functions, which return pointers to functions which return void.
By the way, I am uncomfortable with the fact that I am comfortable with this statement.
6 -
Whenever a language has a goto statement I can't resist :
On error goto hell
// code
Hell:
// error handling3 -
Saw a girl from my uni upload a photo of her graduation with the following text:
while(!(succeed = try()));
I'm staring at it for 5 mins and i can't figure out if i'm retarded and should drop out of uni or that statement doesn't make sense.73 -
i'm seriously over mobile devs not understanding what backend architecture looks like.
the "we don't need a backend, we just need an API." statement drives me up the fucking walls. stop it, you should know better.
sincerely -
your friendly neighborhood web developer.6 -
I so hate the following statement
if (condition)
makeOperation()
I prefer
if (condition) {
makeOperation()
}
Who is with me?14 -
"Maybe the internet has an error”
Quote from my GF after booking tickets online failed, and on some level I feel like this is a very profound, relevant statement..2 -
That weird moment when you write a Python script and errors pop up everywhere, only after an hour of debugging (pulling hair out) to find that you started putting a semicolon at the end of each statement again.3
-
Dear self,
If you start a statement with “I think”, you do not have to also edit statement to add “in my opinion”. This is redundant and silly.
Sincerely,
Why are you so freaking timid?14 -
Me in a test:
if(boolean)
return value;
return something_else;
I then lost 2 marks for not having an else statement -.-30 -
When I'm forced to maintain a C project having recently done a lot of C++:
Compiler: Declaration may not appear after executable statement in block.
Me: dEcLarAtiOn mAy NoT aPpeaR aFtER eXeCuTAblE stAtEmEnt iN BloCk. *pffffttt*2 -
Whenever im programming in Python it seems like my finger naturally presses the semicolon key after any statement😂5
-
Temporary coworker with 10+ years experience, working on C++ codebase with me since 3 months, just asked me what the continue-statement in C/C++ does.
That must be either a sign of an upcoming apocalypse, or me being heavily underpaid.6 -
One day, this ex-boss of mine dropped the following bomb:
“Stop using switch statements, the switch statement is archaic.”
The if statement should be even more archaic, right? So, should we stop using ifs as well?12 -
One day Linus Torvalds will make a statement about git like: "Why is everybody using this? It was just a joke!"2
-
Do NOT "compress" your code by leaving out braces in control structures and putting the 300 char statement on the same fucking line as the control structure!
Yes, your code file becomes vertically shorter than the usual 3000 lines, BUT my brain tumor proportionally grows larger.7 -
GF: Honey... What is that thing called... It's like a neverending if statement...
Me: ... A while loop?
GF: YEAH!! It's a while loop in the brain!2 -
YOU: if(exp){ statement 1;} else { statement 2;}
v/s
THE GUY: exp ? Statement1 : statement 2;
She says not to worry about!!9 -
Started learning python. Never looked at any Python code and I was able to do a simple if statement. Python, you're going on my resume!5
-
A huge amount of memory leakage in a C++ project which was from a mistaken 'new' statement which was not deleted5
-
So the teacher made fun of me today stating that knowing what USB stands for is pointless :/ I thought it was just basic knowledge for a geek like me. This statement of my teacher really infuriates me!!!12
-
My worst dev sin was leaving out the 'WHERE' in a SQL update statement on a production database
Set every booking to be owned by the same sales consultant 👀2 -
30 min figuring out what happen to my code. And realize that = is used in if statement instead of ==.
Thanks brain8 -
On your first day of work, when you're being shown around, the employer always says, "We encourage our employees to think outside the box".
This statement usually coincides with them showing you your cubicle.2 -
Describe your stress level in one sentence.
I'll kick it off:
"If he sends me one more passive aggressive email, or moronic statement, I will hit him with my chair until he stops moving"3 -
As someone in charge of reviewing this code, how would you react to this function that contains, what could be, the longest ever readable return statement.
19 -
Python is such a elegant language, but why can't I have an if-clause on a simple for-statement when I can have it in a list comprehension??
22 -
Three days thinking of a solution to a problem in HackerRank...
Came up with a very elegant O(n+m) solution... failing several test cases...
Check here, there, over there. Everything seems flawless...
Re-read the problem statement letter by letter. There it is, I misread the requirement. FML8 -
Its strange how a space can change the meaning of a statement.
Where 5! = 120 and also 5!=120, both are true.10 -
This is an example if statement:
if(bla.boolean()){
}
Bill does NOT put comments into the condition brackets.
Be like bill.
Please.11 -
I think today GPDR kicked in?
Who else got a bunch of emails from services they don't use anymore saying they updated their Privacy Statement?5 -
They added a javascript that checks the login info. Worst part an if statement was the only thing keeping you from logging in without the correct password
-
"What are you waiting for?" Well, I'm still waiting for someone to add an if-statement for no name provided before sending me personal offers
2 -
Am I the only one who when they are super focused writing code and debugging starts acting like Bob Ross painting a picture?(without a filter... of course)
And here we’ll add another little god damn breakpoint so we can watch our fucked up variables report the wrong thing..
Oh and over here will just add another little happy simple if statement.
Oh look at the happy if statements in a row.. maybe we’ll add little switch statement here.6 -
That moment when you realise your console is just a pc and the days of fast cartridge in and load game as gone and with that statement I also feel old.
20 -
#8
Instead of writing migrations the former dev implemented a migrate route. Wich triggered a method on the "mainController" to run several SQL statement and migrate.
😓🔨4 -
Today I finished my robotics project. I had in my team a total idiot (the one who used the hidden divs, some might remember from another rant). I wanted to share with you the beginning of a ranting adventure.
Me: "you can begin with a simple task. I will send you the obstacle avoidance sensors values from Arduino, and you will send the data for the Arduino motors to dodge the obstacle".
The sensors give 1 if clear, 0 if obstacle is detected.
Below is his code (which I brutally rewrote in front of him).
Now, in the final version of the robot we have something like 9 sensors of the same time to work with.
Imagine what would have happened if we kept him coding. (Guess it: 2^9 statements! :D)
I was not that evil, I tried to give him some chances to prove himself willing to improve. None of them were used rightfully.
I'm so fucking glad we finished. I'm not gonna see him anymore, even if I'd like to be a technical interviewer for hiring just to demolish him.
I'm not always that evil, I promise (?)
Ps. He didn't even have any idea on what JSON is, even if we had already seen it during FIVE YEARS of computer engineering. (And should've known anyway if he had a bit of curiosity for the stuff he "studies")
10 -
Ah yes, my favourite statement a client can say to me.
"I know a guy that will do it for $100 less"5 -
That look when a coworker who could not write a logic statement tells you to comment out more of your work!
1 -
When you debug for 2 hours. Due to a logic error. You go through every line. It all makes sense. You find a semicolon after an if statement... Shouldn't the compiler have caught that?4
-
Hosting a PHP/MySQL application for a really wealthy NGO that must have paid thousands of dollars for the app, and everything works fine but no sanitised inputs and direct SQL statement execution. Just waiting for little Bobby Tables so I can charge them a fortune for recovery 😊5
-
That moment of chills down your spine when you delete a few records in a huge production db and thinks "strange, this is taking longer than it should?" and suddenly realise that you forgot to include the "where"-clause in the statement...3
-
O'joy has come, it is time to make the best if/switch statement...
Worst part I can't see a pattern in this, so I have to hardcode all this shit.
Even worser part, it has to be updated yearly... woop w00p
9 -
Teacher showed us IF statement in RAPID code for robot... There was sth like:
IF string <> "" THEN
TPWrite string1;
ENDIF
My schoolmates was guessing what it can do... I with my two programming friends were just chilling and smiling...2 -
God, Allman indentation style is such pain... God bless K&R...
For those who don't know, Allman is this:
void foo(void)
{
statement;
statement;
}
and K&R is this:
void bar(void) {
statement;
statement;
}12 -
That time you waste hours searching through a perfectly good method. Turns out the outcome is overridden because you forgot an else in an if-else statement....
-
had to reject a junior candidate today. Couldn't really write an if else statement.
Always feels bad, I remember being mortified when I was at that level.12 -
I'm sure someone has posted this beauty before, but i just wanted to update everyone on this masterpiece of an if-statement
2 -
my code went into an infinite loop of printing "fuck". that happens when u forget to put curly braces and the first line after the if statement is printf("fuck\n");6
-
Our 10th grade computer classes in school consisted only of writing 1 printf statement in C, which earned you an A.1
-
When you think the code from companies like Google and Facebook is flawless, but then you look at the source code of Parse 1.5.0 and find an if statement with the condition 'browser' === 'browser'
2 -
HAHA! Google just got fined 4.34bn EUR by the EU! According to the EU they forced manufacturers to preinstall their search app and browser. In my opinion, a fine like this is a nice statement, but doesn't really affect a company that makes 111bn US$ per year. I think there needs to be proper taxation for GAFA!
What do you guys think?10 -
Dev. policy: The use of SELECT * is forbidden.
Open Data Access Layer > first statement: SELECT * FROM bullshit_table4 -
spent half an hour debugging an if statement that won't return anything but false. Apparently, the condition was:
if (check === true). and the check var was a string! so yeah, spent half an hour to realise I was checking if 'true' is true..4 -
DevRant formatting template:
I'm not [insert negative trait] but [insert rant contradicting the first statement]16 -
Converting an int to a string for use in a switch statement... And nothing else.
Who the HELL wrote this crap?! -
!Rant
I think that Google has alien employee's.
NOW Why Do I Say that???
Because all the stock Android versions do not have a "DARK MODE".
If they were human developer's they would have included it.
Same statement is Worthy to all their apps.
Light is killing me !!!2 -
One of my TL said to me during code review that place a break statement after return statement in switch case.
Being with a bar leader can certainly degrade your code quality.10 -
I hate when people call any sort of program that does anything even remotely intelligent looking “AI.” No, there is a very specific distinction between actual artificial intelligence, and a bunch of if-statements.4
-
When you find out you didn't need that if-else statement in your code if you simply made an additional variable with an expression that works for all cases of that if-else statement
-
I tried this on tinder. She was confused and proceeded to un-match me. A !false statement would be to say that I’ve failed at life. 😉
5 -
Stopping a heavily used script in production, because management wanted a print statement to include a period at the end.
-
Not only Windows can show this "strange" error messages: Today I got this beauty while importing an SQL-dump.
(Translation: "Error on import: error on statement #1: not an error. Execution will be aborted and the db will be reset.")
-
How to make BILLIONS with a coding blog:
1. make a post with a controvertial title like "IS TDD DEAD?"
2. write an article concluding that the controvertial statement is, in fact, wrong, like "Nope"
3. Drown in monies from ads3 -
And yes, after several hours debugging I found a delete statement in a function called "changeName"... :)
2 -
The way this if statement is written (across multiple lines) is really weird to me. Anyone here that writes if statements like this?
14 -
I was working on a section of code and had to make a change to an if-statement. So I searched for "if" to get there... Idiot...7
-
Call me crazy, but I'm pretty sure no java code should be able to jump from the if block to the else block, and then back to the if statement, ahen trying to initialize an object1
-
Spend past 2 days trying to hunt down a bug...
I forgot `0` evaluates as `false` so this statement always returned `false` if `id` was `0` >.>
12 -
Being told code is "production ready" only to find this:
if name == 'foo' or name == 'bar' or name == 'someothershit'
What's wrong with:
if name in ['foo','bar', 'someothershit']?
Oh and they had 10 different values they were matching, not just 3. What kind of joker am I dealing with?
1 -
I always thought the hate on senior developers doing stupid stuff was exaggerated... Mine just pulled an entire table, then used 4 for loops to reduce the records by criteria... I don't think he knows what the where statement is in SQL!1
-
Recruiters company emailed me to accept their privacy statement. I asked them what kind of information they got from me. Get an email back with: your information is deleted. I didn't expected that. It's clearly to hard to just send me the info...2
-
"artificial intelligence !== conscious intelligence"
If the brain is just a biological computer that statement is incorrect right? 😟
Are _we_ the robots?4 -
So I found these stack overflow questions and thought they were particularly humorous.
https://stackoverflow.com/questions...
https://stackoverflow.com/questions...
The answers were pretty good. But I wanted to actually "break out of an if statement" like the ops asked for. So I created these monstrosities:
6 -
I've got an email with this statement:
[...] If you are interested please reply with the following details if possible in an hour [...]
Defuq with those people 😑4 -
My worst program I still remember :D
When I was learning programming I wrote small console app in pascal to cipher string using Rot13. Every single letter was a case in switch statement. :D5 -
SonarQube: You forgot to remove this one 'import' statement
Also SonarQube: This will take you at least 5 years to fix -
The “if” statement works the same in every* language, so if you can code in one language, you can code in most of them.
*Terms and conditions apply.5 -
mfw
> 1 year into project in React.js with a 10+ members in team
> PM panics over last Apache statement
> PM: "fuck, rewrite it in Angular 4 : /"1 -
Swift 1 and 2 were really pain in the ass!! You had to write God damn completed word of each statement. Eg : "presentViewController" is now "present" in Swift 3. Or that fucking "NS" in every object :)))
Thanks God! Thanks Apple! No more bull shit keyword!2 -
A colleague pushed a commit to our git where he just add one whitespace between if statement and curly braces -_- Applause!5
-
... I really truly hate with a passion..
when you've agreed on one solution and when it's done, but not approved and deployed..
suddenly decides "oh it needs, x-y-z that I said it won't need"..
Mind you, that x-y-z things mean rewriting a lot of it...
Oh well, at least I get paid for the extra hours to be spent.1 -
Forgetting to write that WHERE statement, on a production database, during a serious case of Schroedinger's backup system, that failed.
....
oops2 -
Look, normally I don't give a shit how others code, but when the company's style guide is literally just the statement "use eslint", and I have to do code reviews...we will start to have problems.1
-
The fact that four to eight dollars a week could break me and cause me to lose my job before I've even started is a statement on how bad the american economy is, and what kind of future people have in america: none.
There is none.9 -
Time Wasted: 30 Minutes
Problem: Put the .add(myObject) statement OUTSIDE the for loop.
Solution: Today.Quit() || Coffee.Make();2 -
"There is no cloud, it's just someone else's computer"
I don't understand this statement. Could someone please explain.11 -
Nothing but love for my coworker;
but my coworker (who's a fellow programmer for at least 3 years) thought the `continue` statement in a `foreach` literally meant to keep going with the code.
He was confused his code after the continue didn't run. xD11 -
When your boss doesn't appreciate your ideas and tells you to "go to hell". The worst part of his statement was "go to" :|2
-
The reason why developers should know the whole context of problem statement rather than just demanding requirements
Or
why the managers should set up the context of the problem rather than expecting magical solutions
7 -
Mind blow of the week: JavaScript has no "else if".
It's always two tokens. Not one. It's NOT like python's "elif".
It's ALWAYS chaining an additional and DISTINCT if statement in the else clause of the first. It is NOT creating multiple comparison paths in the same if statement as it would seem.
For example:
if(a) console.log(a);
else if(b) console.log(b);
else console.log(c);
Simply needs more proper indentation to show which "if" the "else" actually belongs to:
if(a) console.log(a);
else
if(b) console.log(b);
else console.log (c);9 -
I feel stupid to ask this here
I am getting this error in flask
view didn't return a valid response error. The function either returned None or ended without a return statement.
11 -
Checking out a project on GitHub:
> Using advanced condition-based AI logic, Compactor can skip over files that have been previously found to be incompressible, making re-running Compactor on a previously compressed folder much quicker.
> (Yes, it's an if statement and a trivial hash database, hush)
2 -
I spent 20 minutes looking at my Java if statement wondering why it's not working as intended:
if (word == "ABC")
I need some sleep/more coffee 🙃3 -
PM:"I don't care how you dev build it, those are tech details, not my business, I only care about the business domain."
sounds familiar?
this is the main reason why so many projects failed, can you image any professional use such an asshole statement in other industry.1 -
When you find this in production code and git blames you for this. Luckily no one can every see this log output, because the next statement closes the frame.
-
More of a statement but interpret it as a question and answered why it is.
"performance on Linux sucks, my (exe) repack ran much better on Windows also my remote desktop can't connect" -
Now I didn't do this myself, but I've heard from a senior developer that you can modify C's if statement to require an ADDITIONAL 99% chance, making the code fail 1% of the time with no explanation.2
-
Worst practice -- our application isn't built to properly handle threads and I just added a Sleep statement to wait for the backend process to replicate its data. I feel so guilty and dirty.
-
Was writing a multithreaded program in Java with an infinite while loop (for waiting). The thread was never preempted. Added a print statement inside the while loop and everything started working :/
Now I need to print a stupid message just so the program works :P3 -
That moment, when you meet someone who haven't written even a simple if-else statement in their life and want to work on Deep Learning algorithms using TensorFlow. World is filled with so many ML crazy peoe.1
-
Registered for hackathon with 2 Android dev and 2 Full stack dev. Turns out the theme for hackathon is totally out of our scope. This will be my very first hackathon.
Any advice, roadmap, suggestions for the problem statement?
5 -
The statement is : if you ever feel useless, then you haven't seen this simplification, well... just see who will be more useless to solve it at same place again...
4 -
My cs program at university forces a style "guide", but the best thing is, in order to comply you'd have to rewrite all the default classes. Because apparently, an if statement followed by a single statement needs curly braces.
You'd think these fuckers would know what they're talking about...4 -
Devs who use the array map method for purposes other than generating a new array, and who use an empty return statement to satisfy the linter, should receive a slap in the face. A gentle one, but a slap nonetheless3
-
When you wonder why it doesn’t work put print statements all over the code, because you want to find the error, but no print Statement works even if it just should print test...
Fml4 -
I am embrassed.. :(
Situation was..
It was 3-4 months ago I written the process but now client was saying it is not working so I just need to update value in array..
I spent 2-3 hours everything was good..
only in the statement where I am assigning the value is not working.
I was like dude wtf call your senior why its not working .. everything is correct.. then suddenly my eyes catch the rubbish thing I did..
this is what I used mistakenly for assignment "=="
:( and I was looking at statement from 1-2 hour.. it just wasted my time3 -
Literally came across the third line of code and made this meme.
To top it off, the if statement looked like this:
if ([that ugly code])
{ //it is
...
}
This is coding at its finest....
2 -
My Gripe With Implicit Returns
In my experience I've found that wherever possible code should be WYSIWYG in terms of the effects per statement. Intent and the effects thereof should always be explicit per statement, not implicit, otherwise effects not intended will eventually slip in, and be missed.
It's hard to catch, and fix the effects of a statement intent where the statement in question is *implicit* because the effect is a *byproduct* of another statement.
Worse still, this sort of design encourages 'pyramid coding recursion hell', where some users will first decompose their program into respective scopes, and then return and compose them..atomically as possible, meaning execution flow becomes distorted, run time state becomes dependent not on obvious plain-at-sight code, but on the run time state itself. This I've found is a symptom of people who have spent too much time with LISP or other eye-stabbingly fucky abominations. Finally implicit returns encourage a form of thinking where programmers attempt to write code that 'just works' without thinking about how it *looks* or reads. The problem with opaque-programming is that while it may or may not be effortless, much more time is spent in reading, debugging, understanding, and maintaining code than is spent writing it--which is obviously problematic if we have a bunch of invisible returns everywhere, which requires new developers reading it to stop each and every time to decide whether to mentally 'insert' a return statement.
This really isn't a rant, as much as an old bitter gripe from the guy that got stuck with the job of debugging. And admittedly I've admired lisp from afar, but I didn't want to catch the "everything is functional, DOWN WITH THE STATE" fever, I'm no radical.
Just god damn, think of the future programmer who may have to read your code eventually.2 -
To all guys who write shitty code:
if (false)
I just found that when compiling for Release mode in Visual Studio the JIT compiler eliminates this:
Dead code elimination - A statement like if (false) { /.../ } gets completely eliminated.
And a lot of other similar stuff2 -
I type "sudo apt-get install ..." then I delete the line back till apt and again write the whole fucking statement cause linux wished to save my time in 16.04...8
-
New favorite statement/question: "OK, but WHY?"
When co-workers want access to something, when clients request stupid features, when clients say almost anything really.
If you can't tell me why, then I probably don't need to waste my time on it.1 -
Please stop, stop now...
(BTW, assignment statement was on one line, I added breaks just so I could fit it into a screenshot)
If the text is too blurry:
int index;
string fileNameWithoutExt;
additionalData.MailImportConfigCode = (fileNameWithoutExt = schema.Remove(schema.LastIndexOf('.'))).Substring((index = fileNameWithoutExt.LastIndexOf('.') + 1), fileNameWithoutExt.Length - index);
}
2 -
Me and my friend were having a conversation about buying a new laptop. I suggested him to go for dos based one so we could preferably install a Linux based distro, where he could save few bucks for not opting stock windows.
Then he suddenly sent me quoted statement which drew me insane, because he is a c sharp developer.
The quoted statement was
"Linux is truth, Windows is illusion"
this just drew shit out of me 😂😂😂😂. How ironic isn't it from a c sharp dev and visual studio addict 😂😂😂2 -
i watched "1 week in vr" this week. I reommend it.
https://youtu.be/BGRY14znFxY
I like that there's no hard statement like "vr good/bad". It's more like an introspective emotional experience. -
I don't know if it's just me but if you sign up for Dashpass and then cancel during the month, it refunds the entire subscription...
Even when I've used all the benefits...
Seems like the devs forgot an if statement...2 -
One thing that slightly triggers me..
When people start a sentence with question and/or exclamation mark..
"!? Are you fucking kidding me??"
Having a tendency to interpret it as a statement rarely works out well...4 -
Me after seeing the problem statement: I think I can do this!
[Two hours and several failed iterations later]
Me : Ah... How much I desire the sweet release of death1 -
People rant about missing semicolon which can be easily solved by switching to a better IDE. And here I am working on a language in which statement terminates with Dot(.) Which is so easy to miss. And worst part is that I can't change IDE.1
-
First day in introduction to programming. We were the first course to learn Python instead of Java. The whole lecture consisted only of what Python is good for and how powerful it is.
He finished with the statement: “... and in the real life, no one writes applications in Python.“6 -
Testing a script embed plugin I am building on various random websites, and came across this.
Like, bruh; have you ever heard of a javascript map? Basic functional programming? Or even a switch statement?
It's the same statement, over and over again, but with different parameters. Even old javascript had enough tools to do this with at least a basic stench of "efficiency"
11 -
Quickly delete a double record in the production database with a script, just forgot the where statement...2
-
Notification overload.
My credit card company emails me saying that they have emailed me the statement!
-
"not boolean" statement can be written as "(boolean+(-1))**2". Pls comment a better alternative lmao17
-
tt = *src++;
The C programmers that use dereferencing and postfix de-/increment in the same statement, can go and fuck themselves18 -
copying field data from one table to another,
wondering why the execution takes so long,
since your copying only data from three rows,
realising you forgot the WHERE clause in the SQL while working on a live database and overwriting all data with the last statement 😨6 -
Just spent several hours trying to figure out why a binary file wasn’t being written correctly.
I missed a break statement.
Also it’s been a while since I’ve been here, maybe I’ll actually come back. -
!rant
Really hate people who place their open curly braces on a new line beneath the statement ¿por que?8 -
Focused on debugging Javascript after being asked for help. Original developer narrowed it down to an if statement. It was acting like the if statement was assigning the variable and causing undefined. Tested console.log before evaluation. Tried !== instead of != and same thing. Even swapped undefined and variable so it would try to assign a variable named undefined instead... It took way too long for the both of us to realize the word "let" in front of the variable on the line withing the if statement block... It overwrite the variable the moment it entered the block.... FML.1
-
I have been learning Rust and haven't written Ruby in months. I just wrote this simple statement and I already feel the Rust power.
2 -
Writing ! instead of ~ to make a true logic statement negative in Math exam.
Like: ~p=>q —–> !p=>q1 -
" Under the hood... the program is using a mix of condition-based learning, procedural generation of sentences/questions, and relational queries based on weighted 'topic' identifiers. It can create its own original statements and questions. It is real-time, and it really does 'think' (an internal dialogue feedback loop)." = If Statement
I saw this in the description for an app aclled "Real AI" -
"let's just copy and past the all the code with logic and smack on some if statement and change some texts for localization"
What the fuck, why? -
My heart is always heavy when I have to add couple if statements with if statements inside of that if statement. Mans gotta do what mans gotta do1
-
Ever work for a really big company and at the end of the year read the statement on how much profit they made?
Looking back at last years, while looking at the new codebase i'm working on and asking
"How does this shit, equal that much money"2 -
Valgrind! What are you?!!
Knowledge of C is complete only when you come out of Valgrind with 0 errors in 0 contexts.
Definitely lost I am.
In case you are confused, reaffirming that this is a rant and not a statement.
4 -
During my bootcamp now I kept staring at and fiddling with a simple if statement exercise in JavaScript for good 5 minutes just to realize, that I was using Python syntax -_-"
-
Python will occasionally forget how to do comparisons, so a statement like "if x == y:" will sometimes be false even if x == y. And then when someone else tries it or you reboot, it's all fine.5
-
If my thinking was stuck in a while statement but didn't know what a while statement was, would I know I was stuck in a while statement?1
-
That's gonna be a quick rant about Golang.
Anyone else here frustrated by the fact that you can inline assignment in the if statement, but can't inline the if-else itself?
You can do:
if thing := hey.getThatThing(); thing == theThing {
return 'this'
} else {
return 'that'
}
But can't do:
return 'this' if hey.getTheThing() == theThing else 'that'
Or is it just me using too much Python everyday and connecting that with Go in free time?5 -
When you catch an ArrayOutOfBounds exception and the catch statement throws an ArrayOutOfBounds exception...
Fail -
“20” twenty static code if conditions...
if() {} else if(){} else if(....
with static code contains the different names of some users... and he still thinking that it the best way to do it!!!! -
Suppressing the statement, "Did you run this through a fucking obfuscator or something?"
So what comes out: "I don't understand this? What's this doing here...?" As I point and touch their monitor, which in my twisted world, is supreme rudeness.
#passiveAggressiveSurlyDev -
!rant
Did you guys know that on Android studio, if you set the keymap of completing the current statement to ' ; ', every time you hit ' ; ' after you finish your line, it will auto indent it for you.
You're welcome.5 -
Let me do a non-dev related statement; Bear's Den is a very underrated band indeed. Songs like "Above The Clouds of Pompeii" and "Berlin" are so fucking chill, and melodically and lyrically well crafted.2
-
Deciphering the problem statement our teacher gives us.
The answers are not even consistent when you directly ask him ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ -
Wasted so much time because I used or instead of and in an if statement. Why am I so fucking stupid sometimes.
Edit: Spelling3 -
Poll time/input requested. Multiple assignments in one statement: yay or nay? For a (painfully) simple example:
a = b = true;
vs.
a = true;
b = true;7 -
You know it's bad when you have to write an email to your team entitled "why to use a using statement"
-
Lambda style Linq statements should be no longer then 1 line in C#
Current task debug 10 line Linq statement. Fml -
people who write code like this actually give me heart palpitations. No it is not cleaner, you literally broke the block, it's disgusting.
if(statement)
{
doSomething();
}8 -
2 years ago I thought you had to make an if statement for every coordinate in a game to make the character move1
-
**Yoda conditions**
(also called Yoda notation) is a programming style where the two parts of an expression are reversed from the typical order in a conditional statement.
3 -
Today marks the third interview in a row that included an equality statement diluted to uselessness by liberal doublespeak.
I think I should write a real equality statement. One that doesn't dance around money.1 -
Story time!
I spend few hours last Friday debugging piece of code I wrote. It was based on working code, also authored by me. It was stuff for sending some data to transmitter, all in Python, nothing horrible or tough.
I wasn't able to understand, why older piece of code works (e.g. data are transmitted) and newer don't even when function bodies were same (I was desperate, so I copied-pasted my own working function there). Both function were in same file, bot syntactically correct, newer one was definitely running but still no transmigration from there.
And then it came, enlightenment at Friday afternoon. I forgot to actually push my prepared packet to radio. Older one was encapsulated in transmitter function and newer one wasn't. I was so focused on possible error in packet creation I forgot to send it?! Seriously?! Unfortunately yes.
Moral of the story? When debugging something, try step back (or up in my case) for a while. -
Some Coworker has the opinion that when providing a webservice always the client has to send the SQL Statement to the server/service because it has to be of full control of everything...3
-
Internal team changing specs because they don't understand how much work went into the project.
This is generally accompanied by the statement "that shouldn't take you very long." -
Is inserting a break statement anywhere but in a switch statement a horrible idea and results almost always in bad code? Why? My lecture notes say so. lol.
e.g.:
loop(someJsonDataSet){
if(company.getName().equals("xyz")){
break; // don't process records of this
company
}
}14 -
debugger; // JavaScript
It's a statement not a function, but it can save lives when console.log debugging fails. -
Removes an control statement or a loop statement in python code ......
Fucks up entire code below it due to indentation error..
Sit and remove the indentation line by line
PYTHON IS LIFE3 -
My first C++ program was a calculator I wrote on a Borland IDE in high school! The program had a switch statement to cycle through different math operations! I felt like I was creating life! Days of naivety!
-
I guess you know its time to go when i your print statement writes:
System.out.println("LAST CHANCE 2:" + output); -
TFW you realize it's Monday, and you forgot the where clause in your SQL Statement
(22 row(s) affected)2 -
Inherited a legacy system from a previous "developer" who wrote code to sanitize input from sql injection in the front end and then called an web method called execSql which accepts am sql statement in a string value!
Obviously the app ran under admin privileges.2 -
Fellow Spanish-speaking developer:
https://youtu.be/i_cVJgIz_Cs
Don't forget the WHERE in the DELETE statement. -
Do you write your comments before or after you write the code?
Do you write var foo = 1; and then go back a line above it / beside it to comment, or do you write the comment line / block first prior to writing the code statement?6 -
I always forget it's a bad idea to run queries in an "edit table" view in SSMS. Just blew up my table cause it decided to add an unwanted cross join in my update statement.
Ran it in a fresh query window and it worked fine. -
!rant
I just found out that if you have a list of lists in C#, you can use a LINQ statement and specify indices inside the lambda instead of nested ForEaches.
This code is giving me the vapors7 -
Client is "always" right. Except when he's wrong, but it will come back to first statement.
*Source: 9gag
1 -
I hate to see when my code is touched by co worker and after then it looks like shit... mäh... added a task to refactor it by myself just to set a statement
-
Should rants contain a message/lesson/formulated statement, or fo you consider rants a venting mechanism?
Out of curiousity, since I see some people in the comments asking what the message/constructive idea is on some posts1 -
Spending over an hour trying to implement module X wondering why it doesn't work. Then see there is a deprecated/defunt/broken statement at the page of module X
-
The moment when u forget to break from a switch statement from its one of its cases and try to figure wtf is wrong with ur code.1
-
2 days hard thinking why my prepared statement not saved to the database, until I found this
...
ADDDATA
...
And I only put the parameter with ADDATA
...
How beautiful my life. Thanks ADDDDDDDDDSDDDDSSDDSDDDDDDSDDDDDDATA
1 -
Developer coworker just said to me that creating Dockerfile for project on which he is working is DevOps's job.
What are your thought on that statement?17 -
"we don't care about the statement of work or that you've fulfilled it. We want <insert massive list if unrelated and unrealistic requirements here>."
Yeah, we'll eat a bullet you ham-fisted, knob gobbling buffons. -
I have received this email and I just can't believe how they are thinking!
Microsoft asks TFS git users to change their ssh git URL!
And finally the stunning statement, thank you for using ssh!
-
Been working on pen testing an old ass web app written in a combination of 4 languages with the primary being asp, serious question for the older generation was concatenating SQL statements ever best practice or are the mob that wrote this just useless?
-
trying for three hours to understand why an error occurs. adding one log statement. reloading. everything works... 😡3
-
Yesterday,
I was reading the code from my mentor and plugging it into my project.
I noticed a statement that at that moment seemed buggy to me.
Asked my mentor if that's needed, he looked at it and said no it's not needed remove it and said thank you to me.
Later, I noticed that statement wasn't extra at all, but some part of my code was not as it was supposed to be hence that statement seemed buggy.
I should be telling this to my mentor but i liked that thank you. :/ what will happen when he finds out that ?? lol2 -
Question: How many people on here agree with the following statement - Engineering requires sacrifices in the form of compromises and estimations to be made for the sake of developing a product that is practical3
-
Im completely stuck in this, might just have been gotten mad and it's real simple.. butncould anyone help me write an sql select statement that would solve this issue ?
Problem statement and examples are on the picture :)
Thanks in advance!
(Data not the actual data needed but resembles structure im trying to do)
10 -
I think I have a slight problem in my API.
Snapshot 1 : API entrey point
Snapshot 2 : on "return" statement from API.
No biggies, 8 GB of RAM used.
The API ? Adds 1 ligne in database.
That's gonna be a fun debug
8 -
Ruby and its "simplicity" hurts me... Tried to make a if-statement checking if user is signed in... Well logic would say it's "if (user != signed_in)" right? Well logic don't apply in Ruby, in this realm you do "if (user_signed_in?)". As a logic programmer this bugs me...
Anyone relating?4 -
What if we could write the problem statement and the AI would write the code for us, or give the program taking the outputs as input 🙄🙄🙄🙄4
-
When python's print statement makes a new line every time but you already get one from whatever you're working with, "I don't wanna put a new line at the end of the line that already has a new line at the end of it."3
-
Argh
Help
If you know, a specific string is always going to be the same, and theres no way any other value could be passed to this statement. Is it still ok to use string.substring(0, string.IndexOf(&$&$))?
I feel dirty every time....1 -
When you start working on android app development, but you always forgot to put a "(" at the start and ")" at the end of an if statement or for statement, because you got used working on Swift Programming. Haha1
-
Can we have some universal statement for wishing to up vote more than once. Something like...
for( vote=1; vote<=1000; vote++;)
Where 1000 could be variable based you excitement.2 -
Every time I decide to remove/edit something in a written SQL statement in the CLI. The delete and backspace key are to close to the return key -.-4
-
No matter how many times I educate them, my colleagues still end up confused between writing conditions in join statement and in where statement.
They think they're both same :'( -
To all Python devs: if you want to use curly braces like in C-like languages use this import statement:
from __future__ import braces
Thank me later :D1 -
I’ve noticed a large uptick in these AI = if statement jokes. Is there a catalyst for this or am I just noticing them more?1
-
Is anybody using Onesignal. It is free but their privacy statement is scary. Just read it and now I think I should stop using this service for my app.
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