Dear people who complain about spending a whole night to find a tiny syntax error; Every time I read one of your rants, I feel like a part of me dies.

As a developer, your job is to create elegant optimized rivers of data, to puzzle with interesting algorithmic problems, to craft beautiful mappings from user input to computer storage and back.

You should strive to write code like a Michelangelo, not like a house painter.

You're arguing about indentation or getting annoyed by a project with braces on the same line as the method name. You're struggling with semicolons, misplaced braces or wrongly spelled keywords.

You're bitching about the medium of your paint, about the hardness of the marble -- when you should be lamenting the absence of your muse or the struggle to capture the essence of elegance in your work.

In other words:

Fix your fucking mindset, and fix your fucking tools. Don't fucking rant about your tabs and spaces. Stop fucking screaming how your bloated swiss-army-knife text editor is soooo much better than a purpose-built IDE, if it fails to draw something red and obnoxious around your fuck ups.

Thanks.

Optimized my program fron running 74 minutes to running 0.005 seconds. I call that a successful day.

Client :- The app is slow on my device, please fix.
Developer :- Working fine on all the devices I tested, are you sure?
Client :- Yes, it's very slow. I can't accept this app.
Developer :- (Recompiles the same codebase again) Here, try this, optimized a lot of calls, took me entire day to do so.
Client :- Yes, it is working fast now
Developer :- (evil laughs)

I absolutely HATE "web developers" who call you in to fix their FooBar'd mess, yet can't stop themselves from dictating what you should and shouldn't do, especially when they have no idea what they're doing.

So I get called in to a job improving the performance of a Magento site (and let's just say I have no love for Magento for a number of reasons) because this "developer" enabled Redis and expected everything to be lightning fast. Maybe he thought "Redis" was the name of a magical sorcerer living in the server. A master conjurer capable of weaving mystical time-altering spells to inexplicably improve the performance. Who knows?

This guy claims he spent "months" trying to figure out why the website couldn't load faster than 7 seconds at best, and his employer is demanding a resolution so he stops losing conversions. I usually try to avoid Magento because of all the headaches that come with it, but I figured "sure, why not?" I mean, he built the website less than a year ago, so how bad can it really be? Well...let's see how fast you all can facepalm:

1.) The website was built brand new on Magento 1.9.2.4...what? I mean, if this were built a few years back, that would be a different story, but building a fresh Magento website in 2017 in 1.x? I asked him why he did that...his answer absolutely floored me: "because PHP 5.5 was the best choice at the time for speed and performance..." What?!

2.) The ONLY optimization done on the website was Redis cache being enabled. No merged CSS/JS, no use of a CDN, no image optimization, no gzip, no expires rules. Just Redis...

3.) Now to say the website was poorly coded was an understatement. This wasn't the worst coding I've seen, but it was far from acceptable. There was no organization whatsoever. Templates and skin assets are being called from across 12 different locations on the server, making tracking down and finding a snippet to fix downright annoying.

But not only that, the home page itself had 83 custom database queries to load the products on the page. He said this was so he could load products from several different categories and custom tables to show on the page. I asked him why he didn't just call a few join queries, and he had no idea what I was talking about.

4.) Almost every image on the website was a .PNG file, 2000x2000 px and lossless. The home page alone was 22MB just from images.

There were several other issues, but those 4 should be enough to paint a good picture. The client wanted this all done in a week for less than $500. We laughed. But we agreed on the price only because of a long relationship and because they have some referrals they got us in the door with. But we told them it would get done on our time, not theirs. So I copied the website to our server as a test bed and got to work.

After numerous hours of bug fixes, recoding queries, disabling Redis and opting for higher innodb cache (more on that later), image optimization, js/css/html combining, render-unblocking and minification, lazyloading images tweaking Magento to work with PHP7, installing OpCache and setting up basic htaccess optimizations, we smash the loading time down to 1.2 seconds total, and most of that time was for external JavaScript plugins deemed "necessary". Time to First Byte went from a staggering 2.2 seconds to about 45ms. Needless to say, we kicked its ass.

So I show their developer the changes and he's stunned. He says he'll tell the hosting provider create a new server set up to migrate the optimized site over and cut over to, because taking the live website down for maintenance for even an hour or two in the middle of the night is "unacceptable".

So trying to be cool about it, I tell him I'd be happy to configure the server to the exact specifications needed. He says "we can't do that". I look at him confused. "What do you mean we 'can't'?" He tells me that even though this is a dedicated server, the provider doesn't allow any access other than a jailed shell account and cPanel access. What?! This is a company averaging 3 million+ per year in revenue. Why don't they have an IT manager overseeing everything? Apparently for them, they're too cheap for that, so they went with a "managed dedicated server", "managed" apparently meaning "you only get to use it like a shared host".

So after countless phone calls arguing with the hosting provider, they agree to make our changes. Then the client's developer starts getting nasty out of nowhere. He says my optimizations are not acceptable because I'm not using Redis cache, and now the client is threatening to walk away without paying us.

So I guess the overall message from this rant is not so much about the situation, but the developer and countless others like him that are clueless, but try to speak from a position of authority.

If we as developers don't stop challenging each other in a measuring contest and learn to let go when we need help, we can get a lot more done and prevent losing clients. </rant>

The way 90% of the population wears their face masks really explains a lot about their approach to using software, apps & websites as well.

I feel like giving up.

I am not a developer for the salary, or just to solve analytical puzzles. Those are motivators, but my main drive is to make the world more comfortable and enjoyable, better optimized, build ethical services which bring happiness into people's lives. I want to improve society, even if it's just a tiny bit.

But if users invest absolutely zero percent of their limited brain capacity into understanding a product that already has a super-clean design and responds with helpful validation messages...

...why the fuck bother.

I used to think of the gap between technology and tech-incompetent people as an optimization problem.

As something which could be fixed by spending a fortune on UX research. Write tests, hire QA employees, decrease tech debt, create a bold but unified & simple design.

But the technologically incompetent just get more entitled with every small thing you simplify.

It's never fucking fool-proof enough.

Why can't I upload a 220MB PDF as profile picture? Why doesn't the app install on my 9 year old Android Froyo phone? Why can't I sign up if my phone number contains a  U+FFFC? Why does this page load so slowly from my rural concrete bunker in East Ukraine? WHY DO I HAVE PNEUMONIA, HOW DID I GET INFECTED EVEN THOUGH I WAS WEARING A MOUTH MASK ON MY FOREHEAD?

This is why I ran away from Frontend, to Backend, to DBA.

If I could remove myself further from the end user, I would.

At least I still have a full glass of tawny port and a huge database which needs to be normalized & migrated.

Fuck humans, I'm going to hug a server.

A guy on another team who is regarded by non-programmers as a genius wrote a python script that goes out to thousands of our appliances, collects information, compiles it, and presents it in a kinda sorta readable, but completely non-transferable format. It takes about 25 minutes to run, and he runs it himself every morning. He comes in early to run it before his team's standup.

I wanted to use that data for apps I wrote, but his impossible format made that impractical, so I took apart his code, rewrote it in perl, replaced all the outrageous hard-coded root passwords with public keys, and added concurrency features. My script dumps the data into a memory-resident backend, and my filterable, sortable, taggable web "frontend"(very generous nomenclature) presents the data in html, csv, and json. Compared to the genius's 25 minute script that he runs himself in the morning, mine runs in about 45 seconds, and runs automatically in cron every two hours.

Optimized!

Manager: Why is no one innovating?

Me: You hired all of us based on culture fit so you have optimized only in that direction. Everyone is same ... like you

Manager: You are right.

I hate having to optimize for mobile, but hate visiting sites not optimized for mobile.

Using an underpowered computer, makes you appreciate optimized programs

Smart India Hackathon: Horrible experience
Background:- Our task was to do load forecasting for a given area. Hourly energy consumption data for past 5 years was given to us.

One government official asks the following questions:-
1. Why are you using deep learning for the project? Why are you not doing data analysis?
2. Which neural network "algorithm" you are using? He wanted to ask which model we are using, but he didn't have a single clue about Neural Networks.

3. Why are you using libraries? Why not your own code?

Here comes the biggest one,

4. Why haven't you developed your own "algorithm" (again, he meant model)? All you have done is used sone library. Where is "novelty" in your project?

I just want to say that if you don't know anything about ML/AI, then don't comment anything about it. And worst thing was, he was not ready to accept the fact that for capturing temporal dependencies where underlying probability distribution ia unknown, deep learning performs much better than traditional data analysis techniques.
After hearing his first question, second one was not a surprise for us. We were expecting something like that. For a few moments, we were speechless. Then one of us started by showing neural network architecture. But after some time, he rudely repeated the same question, "where is the algorithm". We told him every fucking thing used in the project, ranging from RMSprop optimizer to Backpropagation through time algorithm to mean squared loss error function.

Then very calmly, he asked third question, why are you using libraries? That moron wanted us to write a whole fucking optimized library. We were speechless at this question. Finally, one of us told him the "obvious" answer. We were completely demotivated. But it didnt end here. The real question was waiting. At the end, after listening to all of us, he dropped the final bomb, WHY HAVE YOU USED A NEURAL NETWORK "ALGORITHM" WHICH HAS ALREADY BEEN IMPLEMENTED? WHY DIDN'T YOU MAKE YOU OWN "ALGORITHM"? We again stated the obvious answer that it takes atleast an year or two of continuous hardwork to develop a state of art algorithm, that too when gou build it on top of some existing "algorithm". After listening to this, he left. His final response was "Try to make a new "algorithm"".

Needless to say, we were completely demotivated after this evaluation. We all had worked too hard for this. And we had ability to explain each and every part of the project intuitively and mathematically, but he was not even ready to listen.
Now, all of us are sitting aimlessly, waiting for Hackathon to end.😢😢😢😢😢

Biggest scaling challenge?
The imaginary scaling issues from clients.

Client : How do you cope with data that's a billion times bigger than our current data set? Can you handle that? How much longer will it take to access some data then?

I could then give a speech about optimizing internal data structures and access algorithms that work with O(log n) complexity, but that wouldn't help, non-tech people will not understand that.
And telling someone, the system will be outdated and hopefully been replaced when that amount of data is reached, would be misinterpreted as "Our system can not handle it".

So the usual answer is: "No problem, our algorithms are optimized so they can handle any amount of data"

I once optimized a web page that performed 621 SQL queries and loaded in 21 seconds in a production app.

Changed width:600px to width:500px

git commit - m "optimized responsivity for enhanced mobile experience"

Minimum wage employers and restaurants asking "and why should we hire you?".

You have 40 vacancies in your area for just your company alone.
You're paying $13.25 an hour when only a year ago you were paying $9.75.

Why should we hire you?

F*ck you, pay me, that's why.

You're not f*cking NASA
You're a God damn chain restaurant with a 40% turnover rate, who's employees probably shoot up in the bathroom on the rare occasion they even get a break.

I looked at the guy with all the annoyance I could muster, stared him down for a good five seconds and said. "You pay a few dollars over minimum. You're job is not important enough to even ask that question. Have a nice day." And got up and left.

Dude followed me and stuttered " hold up. I was just..."

But I was already out the door.

You were just what mark? Asking a dumbfuck question as if you had any leverage at all?

Your competitor *across the street* is offering 50 cents *more* per hour, and has guaranteed breaks.

What, did you forget 2008 and how you treated millions of people as disposable? The little part where you and most american industries demanded passion, without pay raises? Promotions without benefits? The jobs that if you worked hard, rather than a promotion or a pay raise, your reward was more work and less hours to finish?

You assholes thought we forgot about that? How you shipped millions of jobs overseas, blamed it on "automation" (chinese and indian slave labor), and then pointed the finger at millions of impoverished people as "lazy" in places like Detroit and Pittsburgh and told them "you just got to work harder and smarter!" Or "just get a small loan and create the next google!" from the comfort of your yachts? I'm looking at you bane corp.

No, now the shoes on the other foot motherf*ckers. Hows it feel needing all *us* commoners? "Why should we hire you?"

No, why should *I* WORK FOR YOU?
Cuz I saw THREE dirty tables coming in. A line of people that could be being served. A line that could have been optimized with the proper table count and some simple changes. A menu that doesnt even incentivize your biggest sellers and a dozen other things your store is doing wrong.

Think mark, think!

This is one of those braindead questions employers paying sub $18 an hour ask, because they suffered so much brain drain from years of payola profits from too-big-to-fail wallstreet bailouts, that they forgot they are not king midas, unless they are the king midas of shit, because increasingly everything corporate America touches turns into shit.

And while were on the subject, stopping bringing in outside management to stores. It destroys team cohesion, staff morale, pisses off people *on site* who *actually know* the team, the stores daily activities and processes, and who are better fit for that role. You bring in disinterested outside management, and it's one of the biggest red flags I've ever seen: these smarmy selfcongratulating f*cks who know nothing about the particular store, have no connection to the staff, go on firing sprees or alienation-sprees to hire in friends, fuck up the schedules because again they know nothing about the employees, and then move on after a few years to greener pastures, leaving a barren radioactive wasteland of chain smokers and burnt out staff in their wake.

Dear corporate America, your free ride on the public's good will is over. It's over.

Now you're in the bitch seat. Come sit at my desk and explain to me, EXPLAIN TO ME, why I should sweat and labor to save your shitty company hemorrhaging money like a bleeding crack-addicted hobo dying with a sucking chest wound from a chicago skidrow friday-night drive-by?

You dont deserve it. Your management and company culture is worse than incompetent. It's full of smiley guys expounding about their passion for customer service while giving each other sloppy BJs in broom closets, a veritable cornucopia of cult-like corporate dick suckers *and* dickheads, proclaiming, no...PROFESSING (hence "professional") their undying allegiance and dedication to their corporate family with the intensity of cujo, foaming at the mouth, or Mitt Romney preparing for a photoshoot, plastic smiles and feigned laughs.

Dont forget to wipe your chin, asshole. It's not Ronald McDonald your blowing, but it's definitely not Gordon f*cking Ramsey either.

Would you like fries with that?

Witchcraft: Code that has been optimized to a point at which even its author has no concept of exactly how it works, only what it is used for.

Optimized a query today. Before it timed out after 10 minutes, now it takes 4.3 seconds. Very proud.

Anyone else out there embedding an artificial delay in a splashscreen, just to shorten it in a future release so you can add to the changelog: "optimized startup time"?
#muahahaha

Work today was good although put in 2 hrs of overtime....

But I optimized some code by changing out a class. Now it does the same thing except does it:

in SECONDS on my local PC

instead of 10+ MINUTES on a massive server.

Average linux developer: writes completely fast, optimized code that compiles the first time all via the terminal. He doesn't care.

Also average linux developer: decides to call it Winblows instead of Windows in an attempt to get more people to use linux. He feels like a genius.

Oh, we don't know why it broke. I know you just did A HUGE FUCKING DATABASE SEVER UPGRADE to the server we're connected to, but no one understands this code, so can't update it to work. Can you roll back 3 VERSIONS so our application that hasn't had a code change in 11 years is optimized?

The intern has directly editted the CSS file then push to the repo.
The senior optimized the old codebase and compiled the SCSS with gulp leading to the CSS file rebuild.

The vicious cycle continued until code review which was like 2 weeks later.

Dev: This could be sooooo easily optimized...

Me: Uhm. Don't think so. What's your idea?

Dev: Just use threads.

Me: Nope. Problem requires 3 shared resources per process step, it won't be faster by threading. Shared resource will only lead to locking contention, decreasing performance.

Dev: I don't think that will happen. Can you PROOF to ME that this will happen?

Me: It was your suggestion, so you should proof me wrong. Nice try, but no thanks.

Dev: Yeah, but it's too slow and it should run faster.

Me: If you cannot find a better approach than the current one, it runs as fast as it can while providing correct results. That's not slow. That's just working as intended and designed.

Dev: Yeah, but it's still slow.

....

You know these conversations where you just wanna rip some people's face off, stick it in the shit hole they use to talk and toss them out of the window....

Yeah. Had those conversations today.

Coworker: "Look our WebApp loads much faster in Chrome (0.8s) than in Firefox (4.6s). This clearly shows that Chrome has the better JS-Engine"

Me internally: "No, it just shows how bad your JS-Code is, and not optimized, you dense Mo**Fu**"

It hasn't even been two weeks since quitting the clowns and I've:

- recorded and edited a new React TypeScript course
- released a new SaaS product (in alpha)
- cleaned up and optimized the home page of an existing SaaS app
- started a mobile app version of said SaaS app
- started working with an agency to drive more traffic to same said SaaS app including guest posts and content creation.

I guess I always had it in me but needed to be broken by the rate race system one final time before venturing out on my own.

Refreshing.

This spring I was working on a library for an algorithm class at uni with some friends and one of the algorithm was extremely slow, we were using Python to study graphs of roads on a map and a medium example took about 6-7h of commission to finish (I never actually waited for so long, so maybe more).
I got so pissed of for that code that I left the lab and went to eat. Once I got back I rewrote just the god-damned data structure we were using and the time got down to 300ms. Milliseconds!

Lessons learned:
- If you're pissed go take a walk and when you'll come back it will be much easier;
- Don't generalize to much a library, the data structure I write before was optimized for a different kind of usage and complete garbage for that last one;
- Never fucking use frozen sets in Python unless you really need them, they're so fricking slow!

Just optimized a bottleneck function in a program down from 160ms to 3ms. First time I've ever used a profiler, and it feels awesome.

I'm fucking tired of this so called lead developer, lead developer my ass:

- He takes two days to complete a simple task and he dares to ask me why I extended the deadline of this freaking complex feature I need to build.

- He does a half-assed job when completes a task, no validation of data, no well informative message when exceptions are th thrown ...

- He assigns me his tasks although I already have tons and we need to release soon.

- I take care of developing and maintaining 60% of the APIs and I implemented the most complex of features and he dares to always say that my code can be optimized in a vague way, never mentioning what exactly is he talking about, and never telling me beforehand, he always does it during team meetings where another thing is being discussed.

- He presents the app to the whole company and at the end doesn't give credit where it's due, no " thank you for being part of this or helping build this" even if I built most of that shit, instead he says he's disappointed in me ... WTF! What did you fucking do to build this to be disappointed in me? I'm the fucking disappointed one here !!

- He fucking keeps preaching practices that he doesn't follow or he finds workarounds to skip them while the rest of the team follows them.

- He's like "I'm only taking care of this task to help you out?!" .... wtf! I have nothing to do with that fucking task, how are you helping me! You just keep fucking lazing around when we need to be finishing features asap.

Thank God I don't expect anything from you, I get enough credit from my boss who expresses how impressed he's with my job.

So today, I managed to make one of my colleagues feel like an idiot. In this contract, I work mostly for ui integration, while he build the pages with angular before I add all the html structure and fancy css.

We are building the front-end/ui for an industrial device with a touch screen. For that last 2 days he was blocked on a bug that when you click the confirm button on a delete popup, it would somehow select an input in the page before it was deleted and would lock the ui when showing the virtual keyboard (the poor thing didn't know what to do and wouldn't close).

During those two days, he asked all the other devs for help, trying to find a pattern or anything that could help, while I was focused on writing my css and stuff since it was my priority and I was hired specifically for that (I was aware of the bug and gave my input but I never saw it being reproduced)

So today, he start his new routine of raging at his desk and he decides to show me on my device for some reason. I immediately notice a pattern. It would always select one of the two fields behind the popup, in the click area of the button (it's a big button). Then, I noticed that I could press a random spot on the screen, drag my finger on the button and let go and nothing would happen.

It's at this moment I knew I had found the bug. The button was set to emit an event on mousedown while the inputs behind it were set to emit an event on mouseup (like it should be everywhere). So the popup closed when you placed your finger on the screen and the input was selected immediately after when you removed your finger (which was usually faster than the page code which was not yet optimized)

After that, it was just an easy fix to change the listener and I had a free beer.

devRant on a HoloLens!

The HoloLens is really cool, I was allowed to use it after a short hackathon. I am still surprised, but it works great and the concept feels natural after a short moment - web browsing is not recommended as no website is optimized for mixed reality (yet?).

Sorry for the low quality photo (it is not the compression algorithm's fault this time).

Who is agree with this CSS, and how it could be optimized?

#wife {
right: 100%;
margin: 0;
position: fixed;
}

This has been said countless times before me, and way better than me that’s supper tired, but I need to rant out

And what I’m ranting out today, is Apple. Its essence, its core, the reason it still exists: the ECOSYSTEM!

The problem with Apple ecosystem is that it’s the ecosystem of a fucking PRISON!

People like it because it works well together , but it’s sure that in a prison, the path from your cell to the cantine is pretty optimized; you get forced there! And you might try to get your food elsewhere, but the walls of the prison are made to be difficult to cross. Especially on mobile, where they’re making it harder and harder to escape, to make a jailbreak (pun-intended). Keeping you the loyal little sheep, or the forcing you to it.

That prison is also made private, a little club, to attract people to it. They even got their own little system to talk to each other, but oh god protect them from their little messages to pass the walls of the prison.

And all that prison is guarded by the warden, watching from high in the cloud. Forcing you to report yourself to him to be part of that prison.

That prison, also, can only be entered with specific vehicles, provided by the prison, to ensure maximum compatibility and efficiency. Good luck entering with a disguised vehicle if you find the official ones too pricey for their parts.

They also provided pressure tubes to send things from one cell to another. While being only simple pressure tubes like any other, they’re acclaimed because they’re apparently easier to use than the other 3rd party pressure tubes that can send things to the outside. Why? Because, oh yes it’s already in everybody’s cells (of that prison, outside is dangerous) and the other tubes have been conveniently being placed somewhere harder to reach.

Another thing they have are those windows that can view the outside. While being maybe less clear than some other windows, they are ok. But if you ever consider going mobile to enjoy that safari with lions, then man do they love bringing you back to that window.

Ok so I’m done with the prison metaphor, or I won’t sleep.

The ecosystem is probably the major reason Apple is still there. You buy from there because you’re a prisoner (I guess I’m not finished with the metaphor after all).

This is a prime example of RMS’s quote “If the user doesn’t control the software, the software controls the user”

AirDrop isn’t some sort of revolutionary tech, it uses a well established protocol that other implementations use to do the same thing. They could really easily open source the protocol and allow everyone to profit, but they won’t, because that would mean you don’t have to buy Apple.

That’s why I militate for open source, decentralized and standardized protocols. Because that way, we control the software, and it doesn’t control us.

All the things I said aren’t so bad because when you buy Apple, you make a choice. But I don’t have a choice, I am typing this on an Apple device, because I need to (I won’t elaborate on that) because of that fucking *ecosystem*

I am really tired, so half the sentences probably don’t make sense, but thanks for coming to my stupid TED talk.

Most successful project... What is success?

My first computer at 8 years old was a Commodore64. There was no internet yet, so I used the manual to learn about BASIC and assembly, sound and sprite registers, and created a pretty elaborate RPG. Mostly text, some sprite art, soldered some eeprom cartridges, optimized the code. Spent almost a year on it. An enthousiast magazine picked up on it, revised, QA'ed & published the game, sold a little over 10k samples. I got ƒ0.25 per sale, and I was completely overwhelmed how much candy one could buy for ƒ2500 ($2k corrected for inflation).

More recent:
I was employee #3 at my current company, started when it was worth nothing and the website redirected to a set of Google Forms containing all the logic. I wrote a large part of the first, monolithic backend.

Now there's teams in a dozen countries, and an estimated revenue of a quarter billion.

So obviously my current "project" is more successful.

Still, my current job sucks, the company turned into a desolate passion-free wasteland full of soulless fake hipster zombies and managers who seem to derive sexual pleasure from holding extremely ineffective meetings, endlessly rubbing their calendars together in their bureaucratic orgy of ineptitude.

So, I'm more proud of my C64 game.

This is going to be a rant, but personally, I'm pleased with the outcome of my life now.

I was part of a community for a few years and decided to help them out with my knowledge of programming Lua nearly 2 years ago since they lacked developers for the project itself.

Since it was sort of a custom language that they modified how Lua worked on it, it took me a bit to adapt, but within a few weeks, I was pretty fluent in this so-called custom language they had. Began working on some major updates, additions, removals, and just optimizing this code base. It was a pretty old code base and needed a good chunk of love.

A few months later, I've implemented loads of features, optimized the base whenever I could, and then things start taking a turn for the worse. We get new 'developers' who haven't ever coded the language, and worse they couldn't afford to provide them development servers thus they ended up breaking my servers. I helped them and they learned, they were decent, but now the Seniors and CEO's of the project began to take a toll on me.

I was told that this community had a reputation of driving out developers, ruining their reputations, and that is what started happening. I started getting questioned if I was loyal to helping them, that I've become lazy, even though they were explained I've had mental health issues for a few years and have been hospitalized multiple times.

These sort of attacks kept happening for months, and then they finally pushed my buttons, where I was talking to another Senior of how we should redo the base since it's just so massive and a few tiny updates to the base take a few days to implement across the entire code. What instead happened was that I went to sleep, and this Senior told the CEO I was going to steal the code base and go sell it...

I woke up to messages of how the CEO is all pissed off, and that this what the Senior said. At this point, I started responding with, fuck it. I was so sick and fucking tired of their bullshit. I was the only fucking competent developer, and I did more work in the few months I was there then some people did in 2 or 3 years.

A few hours later I decided to go chat with the CEO and explained what was truly brought up, and he just brushed it off like I was lying. At that point, I lost it. I told him why the code base was horrible since he hired stupid ass developers. He didn't know how to code. People wanted certain items, and he wouldn't be able to add them for fucking months and players sit there making fun of it. Some people state the only differences they see within the code is the code I've done. Basically, he was an incompetent fuck that said he knew what he was doing, and had all these big plans for the future yet couldn't listen to the only competent developer and fucking claimed bullshit.

Now a few months have gone by, I'm looking at their community and it's basically dead with no proper updates except for copy and paste updates claiming to be custom coded. While I'm working on my real life businesses (Which are currently being a headache, but within the year should resolve its issues), starting University for my Computer Science degree here soon, and even considering building my own game here.

Basically, karma is a bitch and that's why when you get loyal people in your life, keep them. (Writing this at 3 am after a few drinks, hopefully, it made sense, I think it does.)

Anyways, goodnight everyone.

“Get the code working first, then worry about how to clean and optimize it.”

For me when I learnt about optimization and how one thing was better than something else, I tended to focus on that. I’d have a picture of that in my mind, and would try to write as clean of code with less hacks in the middle and as optimized as I could in the first go, which slowed me the way fuck down.

After he said that to me, I realized I was stupid and just wasting time if I worried about that from the start. Would waste time, and just cause more headaches from the start than it was worth.

——

Oh also another one, I knew never to trust the client from the start but the way he said it was funny. “Never ever trust the fucking client, don’t trust them with anything. I trust Satan more than I trust the client.” 😂

Everyone's a pro ninja 10x whatever until you ask them to create multi-core optimized code

I've recently received another invitation to Google's Foobar challenges.

A while ago someone here on devRant (which I believe works at Google, and whose support I deeply appreciate) sent me a couple of links to it too. Unfortunately back then I didn't take the time to learn the programming languages (Python or Java) that Google requires for these challenges. This time I'm putting everything on Python, as it's the easiest language to learn when coming from Bash.

But at the end of the day.. I am a sysadmin, not a developer. I don't know a single thing about either of these languages. Yet I can't take these challenges as the sysadmin I am. Instead, I have to learn a new language which chances are I'll never need again outside of some HR dickhead's interview with lateral thinking questions and whiteboard programming, probably prohibited from using Google search like every sane programmer and/or sysadmin would for practical challenges that actually occur in real life.

I don't want to do that. Google is a once in a lifetime opportunity, I get that. Many people would probably even steal that foobar link from me if they could. But I don't think that for me it's the right thing to do. Google has made a serious difference by actually challenging developers with practical scenarios, and that's vastly superior to whatever a HR person at any other company could cobble together for an interview. But there's one thing that they don't seem to realize. A company like Google consists of more than just developers. Not only that, it probably consists - even within their developer circles - of more than just Python and Java developers. If any company would know about languages that are more optimized such as C, it would be Google that has to leverage this performance in order to be able to deliver their services.

I'll be frank here. Foobar has its own issues that I don't like. But if Google were a nice company, I'd go for it all the way nonetheless - after all, they are arguably the single biggest tech company in the world, and the tech industry itself is one of the biggest ones in the world nowadays. It's safe to say that there's likely no opportunity like working at Google. But I don't think it's the right thing. Even if I did know Python or Java... Even if I did. I don't like Google's business decisions.

I've recently flashed my OnePlus 6T with LineageOS. It's now completely Google-free, except for a stock Yalp account (that I'm too afraid to replace with my actual Google account because oh dear, third-party app stores, oh dear that could damage our business and has to be made highly illegal!1!). My contacts on that phone are are all gone. They're all stored on a Google server somewhere (except for some like @linuxxx' that I consciously stored on device storage and thus lost a while back), waiting for me to log back in and sync them back. I've never asked for this. If Google explicitly told me that they'd sync all my contacts to my Google account and offer feasible alternatives, I'd probably given more priority to building a CalDAV and CardDAV server of my own. Because I do have the skills and desire to maintain that myself. I don't want Google to do this for me.

Move fast and break things. I've even got a special Termux script on my home screen, aptly named Unfuck-Google-Play. Every other day I have to use it. Google Search. When I open it on my Nexus 6P, which was Google's foray into hardware and in which they failed quite spectacularly - I've even almost bent and killed it tonight, after cursing at that piece of shit every goddamn day - the Google app opens, I type some text into it.. and then it just jumps back to the beginning of whatever I was typing. A preloader of sorts. The app is a fucking web page parser, or heck probably even just an API parser. How does that in any way justify such shitty preloaders? How does that in any way justify such crappy performance on anything but the most recent flagships? I could go on about this all day... I used to run modern Linux on a 15 year old laptop, smoothly. So don't you Google tell me that a - probably trillion dollar - company can't do that shit right. When there's (commercialized) community projects like DuckDuckGo that do things a million times better than you do - yet they can't compete with you due to your shit being preloaded on every phone and tablet and impossible to remove without rooting - that you Google can't do that and a lot more. You've got fucking Google Assistant for fucks sake! Yet you can't make a decent search app - the goddamn thing that your company started with in the first place!?

I'm sorry. I'd love to work at Google and taste the diversity that this company has to offer. But there's *a lot* wrong with it at the business end too. That is something that - in that state - I don't think I want to contribute to, despite it being pretty much a lottery ticket that I've been fortunate enough to draw twice.

Maybe I should just start my own company.

Most kids just want to code. So they see "Computer Science" and think "How to be a hacker in 6 weeks". Then they face some super simple algebra and freak out, eventually flunking out with the excuse that "uni only presents overtly theoretical shit nobody ever uses in real life".

They could hardly be more wrong, of course. Ignore calculus and complexity theory and you will max out on efficiency soon enough. Skip operating systems, compilers and language theory and you can only ever aspire to be a script kiddie.
You can't become a "data scientist" without statistics. And you can never grow to be even a mediocre one without solid basic research and physics training.

Hack, I've optimized literal millions of dollars out of cloud expenses by choosing the best processors for my stack, and weeks later got myself schooled (on devRant, of all places!) over my ignorance of their inner workings. And I have a MSc degree. Learning never stops.

So, to improve CS experience in uni? Tear down students expectations, and boil out the "I just wanna code!" kiddies to boot camps. Some of them will be back to learn the science. The rest will peak at age 33.

PORTFOLIO INFLATION

when every junior is writing algorithms, the next step up, the only way to keep up is writing apps. When every junior is writing apps, the next leg up is writing an entire SN.

Eventually junior full stack devs are writing microservice streaming cloud backend content delivery optimized social networks wrapped in virtualization with load balancing, proper CI, public accessible analytics apis, written in custom webaseembly compiled scripting backend utilizing both the latest graphql and every single feature of postgres, while also being a web site builder, an in browser app, mobile optimized, designed to transmogrify your asset pipelines linearflow functional-oriented modular rust cratified turbencabulator while cooking your turducken with CPU cycles, diffusing your gpt, and finetunning your llama 69 trillion parameter AI model to jerk you off all at the same time.

And then the title "wizard" becomes a reality as the void of meaning in our lives occupied by the anxiety of trying to reduce the fear of rejection in job hunting, is subsumed by the brief accidental glance into the cthulian madness-inducing yawning abyss of the future which is all the rest of our lives we have to endure existing for until at last sweet sweet death consumes us and we go to annihilation never having to configure one more framework or devops deploy of another virtual environment.

And it dawns on us that we no longer develop or write code at all. No, everything has become a "service" in this new hellscape future. We slowly come to the realization that every job is really just Costco greeter, or eventually going to be reduced to something equivalent, all human creativity, free will and emotions now taken care of by the automation while we manage the human aspects, like sardines pushing against one another not realizing their doom has been sealed along with the airless can they have been packed into, to be suffocated by circumstance and a system designed to reduce everything to a competition of metrics designed by the devil, if the metrics were misery", and "torture", while we ourselves are driven by this ratfuck wheel to turn endlessly toward social cannibalism, like rats eating their babies, but for the amusement of wallstreet corporate welfare whores who couldnt turn a dime if it wasnt already stolen.

And on our gravestones, those immortal words are carved, by the last person who gave up the ghost, the last whose soul wasnt yey shovelled onto the coal fires driving the content machine consuming the world:

Welcome to costco. I love you.

So I'm job hunting and trying to beat ATS systems like the cool programmer I try to be.

Same company, two postings - first position I sent my resume to, rejected me after a day. Second position that I optimized my resume about 2% more, immediate interview request.

Here's the kicker, interview is done using an AI.

So basically I spent time trying to beat one robot just to be video interviewed by another robot.

Welcome to the future ladies and gents.

Cyanogenmod download page is not mobile optimized.

So I recently had a university project which focuses video game audio. We had to work in groups of 3 students and the task was to create a video game which uses audio as a gameplay mechanic.

Our idea was to create a game where you collect different audio samples which get looped as background music, and you have to select the correct ones to have a nice tune. To make it a bit more challenging we had enemies, guns and grenades plus doors which only open if the correct music is playing.

The guns fire on-beat, and the grenades always explode on the first beat of the next bar.
It was quite challenging to get things synced since even small offsets are noticable.

I wrote some nice code and theoretically it should have worked but for some reason the gun shots and the grenades didn't quite hit the beat of the music.

I tweaked stuff, created workarounds, optimized lot's of code to get execution times down but it still only worked sometimes.

I tweaked more and more only to realize that the timing drifted over time.

At that time I worked 20-30 hours on tweaking and trying to get it perfectly timed.

After recalculating some numbers I realized that all the audio samples are recorded at 135 bpm, but the guys who did the recordings said it was 130bpm.

I asked them if it could be the case that the samples are 135bpm and they said:
"yes, they are at 135 bpm as we told you"

I scrolled back in the telegram conversation only to see that they said 130.
Changing the number to 135 resolved all the problems and all of my workarounds and tweaks weren't needed.

So I worked for nearly 30 hours just because they didn't notice their fault and even when they realized that the timing is off sometimes (which took forever because they never played the game), they didn't even consider that they might have given me the wrong numbers.

This all wouldn't be that bad if both of my teammates had worked for more than 15 hours but they didn't. I did all the hard work and the only single thing they did fucked up my workflow. It fucked up the system I created and it fucked up the gameplay as things got unpredictable. Because of their fucking fault I worked as much as both of them combined IN ADDITION to all the other work I did (built 3 maps, coded everything, created animations, ...)

I love working in teams, but only if the whole team is motivated. Those two fuckers were the exact opposite.
Luckily i found the error so I could fix it, but guess with whom I'll never ever work together again?

In the last one and a half days I optimized our Angular UnitTests. There‘re written with Karma and Jasmine. Before the optimization they needed ten minutes for around 400 tests. Now the same tests are executed in 12 seconds.

Not sure if thats just me, but I absolutely can not stand watching people work on a computer slowly. Like: Watching people copy a text into a different window be like:

Select text with the mouse...
Move mouse down for 20 seconds until everything is selected ..
Right click
Copy
Click on Taskbar to open different program.
Right click in program
Click paste....

I .... just ... can't man.
Its: Ctrl+a, ctrl+c, alt+tab, ctrl+v

(And that is just one example, there are worse ones)

Maybe that just me, but I am so used to using my computer fast, and I optimized the shit out of my workflow.

Look honey! I optimized the code in such a way only a few lines are needed, I'm so happy with this efficiency. Her reply: "Ooooh, that's nice!! <blankstare>". Yeah, uh, we'll talk later.

What do you do when a developer who has higher title than you; changing a bit of your code to his/her own favor and then claim "fixed and optimized" your code to shoot you down and then take the whole credit?

Essentially how to deal with this kind of theft or robbery?

So I was finally done with the project, every feature was implemented the way I wanted it be, every piece of code optimized and well written, I was completely satisfied with my code and didn't feel the urge to add a "last little feature/optimization"...
.
.
.
Then I woke up 😭😭😭

QA ticket. Images are pixelated blah blah blah increase pixelation to make them pretty.

Next ticket: why is the site so slow. Need to be optimized blah blah blah

Client: *uses Oracle on AWS RDS*

Ora: *licence about to expire*

Client: we need a cheaper and equally performant solution.

AWS: we have an outstanding Aurora db! Its performance is flawless!

Client: shut_up_and_take_my_money.png

Engineers: *migrating to Aurora mysql*
Engineers: fine-tuning the db for 2 months, adapting app code.
Aurora: *shits its pants during test ramp-up, delivers ~70% of Ora perf*

==========

Client: we need to do better!

AWS: try Aurora Postgresql!

Engineers: *migrating to Aurora postgresql*
Engineers: fine-tuning the db for 1 month.
Aurora: *shits its pants during test ramp-up, delivers ~40% of Ora perf*

AWS: let me see...
AWS DBAs: *fine-tuning the db for another 2 months*
Aurora: *survives ramp-up, delivers ~70% Ora perf*

AWS DBAs: your application is wrong.
We: Ora didn't complain about that...

AWS DBAs: umm.. Err.. Then your load test is wrong
We: ora wasn't complaining about that either...

AWS DBAs: errr.. Ummm.. Oh, I've got it! Your queries aren't optimized!
We: we cannot change queried - they are hardcoded by our framework's vendor

AWS DBAs: well there you go! Your queries aren't optimized! It's your fault, not aurora's

yyeeahhhh... Riight...

From my xp, aws support and aws engineers ALWAYS try to put the blame on a client. Always. Even when they're obviously wrong.

!rant
The more I learn about advanced C++ the more I love this language. C++'s template system is so insanely cool!
Just made a proof of concept expression templates based linear algebra library for my own projects. It was actually a lot of fun to make, and seeing it spit out optimized, loop-fused code with no temporary variables...magic.
Long live C++.

Hey boss! I optimized our AWS costs by deleting that old CDN we didn't use anymore.

That moment when you finally optimized your game to run on 60FPS from 20-40 FPS. I love OpenGL.

Some people refactor because feature updates need to be optimized throughout the code base.

I refactor because I am terrible at planning.

So when our campus expo happened, I immediately went to the apps I critiqued last time when I was a a panel judge in the IT dep’s oral defence. Fair enough, this happened:

- The app I failed (the tilting avoid boxes shit app) actually got optimized and got the first time user tutorial I was looking for. I was short of relieved of them listening and kept going despite me failing them (props to the girl btw)

- Second app was the same as before but added my recommendations, nonetheless still a good app

I am nothing short of amazed they actually listened to me so I think that’s a win for my part

After many years... I truly believe that non IT people belive that this is how programmers work:

- Goodmorning computer. How are you? Can you make me a program? I want the program to include an userfriendly userinterface, database, optimized code, documentation and dont forget that i dont want any bugs! Thanks computer. I'll get back to you when my coffee is ready.

So as applying for an internship to a new company, they wanted me to make an account and do some things to get use to the website... That's great, until I learned their website is fucking garbage!

Takes 5 seconds to load any page (they import and link so much shit, it's poorly optimized), their website is vulnerable to Javascript injection (in many different places), im sure it will be vulnerable to sql injection too.

Their design looks bad, icons are terrible, no common design flow, super busy. And they are taking about using machine learning and big data? Bitch you need to fucking make your site usable first!! If contacted them and will give them 30 days to fix their shit before I write about it

Browses a news article on mobile phone. Site asks, if it should switch to the mobile version of that site. I click yes. Frontpage loads instead optimized for mobile with my news article nowhere to find. Dafuq?

Now we wait and see if they make change this commit message 🤣

I coded the app so good
I optimized the UX SO GOOD
I made the UI look GOOD
I made the error handling and input validation ROCK HARD SOLID BULLETPROOF

NO FUCKING WAY COULD YOU FUCK THIS UP

NO WAY COULD YOU BE DUMB ENOUGH NOT TO KNOW HOW TO USE IT AND NOT FUCK IT UP

I GAVE IT TO MY DAD AS A NORMAL USER TO TEST THE APP AND HE FUCKED IT UP ON THE FIRST TRY

HE DIDNT UNDERSTAND THE UX.

.

What the actual fuck. I just found out that on one of the SSD's I bought, the optimal partition start / finish sizes which apparently on that unit only occur every 65 THOUSAND 4kB sectors (which translates to about a quarter GB) means that I have to throw away half a GB worth of space on that disk in order to align it. Very optimized indeed, dear SSD manufacturer! Huge alignment numbers for just that much extra wastage in the name of optimization. Something like 4x sector size on 512 byte sectors or 1x sector size on 4k sectors.. ain't nobody gonna need that. Let's make it a quarter GB.

And that's what they call engineering?

i had to do a project with someone who isnt that good at programming. but for her to learn programming, i wanted to let her do part of the code even though i could have done it myself. so she wrote some code after 2 days without me intervening. then i checked out the code and it was total crap. it was ugly asf, it could have been optimized a lot more and a lot of variables were unnecessary and to think that the code was just around 30 lines in 2 days! when its not that optimized, they deduct points from the final grade and having useless variables and functions can also be a negative thing to the professors' eyes.

in the end, i rewrote the code myself because i wanted it to be better. my grade also depends on that code so i shouldnt be ugly asf.

i recognize my mistakes too and sometimes my code isnt as optimized as it can possibly be but imagine her code is waaaay fucked up.

p.s. it didnt even compile

Kiss for fucks sake! What the fuck of an ORM is Sequelize? How the fuck do I have to write a 50 line query json to get a query for a single object going, which doesn't work then because that shit peace of software has a bug that breaks findOne and forces you to use findAll and use the first and only hit?!

Well yes, I looked in your garbage SEO docs for that issue, but whenever I look for something specific I just end up on your optimized as hell querying for noobs doc page. FUCK YOU!

Seriously, you guys working with Sequelize saved me many hours. But fuck your fuckups! And ajfjekidjjskrhbdkaowbdjdkwobdnfie

I found weird that some developer never ask why when facing a problem. "What do you mean never ask why?" here some story.

Let's say a developer work with simple app. Laravel as Backend and Postgresql as Database. He face a problem that the app very slow when searching data.

In order to solve that problem he implement cache using redis but he found problem that it fast occasionally. In order to solve that problem he implement elasticsearch because he think elasticsearch very good for search but he found another problem that sometimes data on postgresql out of sync with data on elasticsearch. In order to solve that problem he implement cronjobs to fix out of sync data but he found another problem that cronjobs cannot fix out of sync data in real time. and so on...

Do you see the problem? He never ask why the app slow. Which part search the data? Backend or Database (Search in the Backend mostly slower than Database because Backend have to get all data on database first). Has the query been optimized? (limit offset, indexing). How about the internet connection? etc.

For me it's important to ask why when facing a problem and try to solve the problem as simple as possible.

Just spent an entire night eaning up my codebase...

I optimized some of the functions got rid of unnecessary global variables and changed up the whole file hirearchy so it would be easier to read. After spending all night doing this I went to run the program and for once it seemed everything worked right the first time! However a portion of my application that is supposed to happen at a certain date and time never would run. After spending all night comparing each and every line for what I changed versus my last commit I couldn't find the fallacy in my logic. Everything should still work like it did before. After spending more time looking for bugs I finally realized I didn't break anything when I switched over to this new structure it was the old code that was broken. I went through the old code and after some debugging eventually found the culprit an extra continue statement that prevented my loop from fully executing. Lesson learned sometimes the biggest bugs can spawn from one line of code.

This will definitely trigger many but the truth regardless of how you feel is the greatest programmers are those who understand both the hardware level and software .. only then are you more than a dev or programmer.. you are an engineer...

I challenge the devs who dis believe to go out and learn to build circuits, write optimized, efficient bare metal code.: no sdk.. no api... no drivers ..remove the unneeded abstraction layers that have blinded you...build it yourself, expand your potential and understanding..

Not only will you become more valuable overall, but you will write better code as you are more conscious of performance and space and physics of the physical layer.

I’m not talking about Arduino or raspie

Those who stand strong that high level abstraction languages and use of third party apis is a sufficient sustainable platform of development are blind to reality.. the more people who only know those levels, the less people pushing the industry of the low level.., which is the foundation of everything in the industry.. without that low level software the high level abstractions and systems cannot run

Why did we have huge technology advancements from 70s to early 2000s.... because more people in our industry understood the hardware layer..: wrote the software at the less abstracted layers..

Yeah it takes longer todo things at that low level abstraction.. but good robust products that change the world and industry don’t take a few week or months to build.....

Take this with what you will... I’m just trying to open the eyes of the blind developers to the true nature and reality of our industry

Got myself into Facebook's Graph-API...
...everything is so easy and well optimized.

NOT! Now I have to optimize the request to reduce loadtime. Why is there data so fractured?

Best:
- optimized a lot of queries and pieces of code
- graduated from the dutch equivalent of community college
- started a new education
- updated our password schema from a shameful algorithm to bcrypt

Worst:
- haven't been able to convince my colleague and bosses to automate stuff
- still no tests
- still a php dev
- still alone

2018:
Come at me with your c++ and robots! I'll fucking master you!

So I downloaded the handwritten character dataset from EMNIST, took an hour to extract. Found out it has 814k + pngs. I haven't optimized all of them with Gimp 😕 change them to idx3-ubyte format, or make labels for each char in a c++ automation.. While Gimp was frozen in bulk process, I started hearing crackling sounds from my desk 😨😨 I'm like fckkk shits gonna blow..

That's when the poorly taped 0x7E2 calendar fell from the wall.🤣🤣🤣

I have just started working in this industry, and so annoyed by the fact that managers are insensitive to the efforts put in by the developers.
1. They ask for estimates, and sometimes consider it to be the hard line for everything and then they make you feel guilty if you are not able to live up to them.

-- I am not asking to be always lenient but they need to understand that this is problem solving and one might not be able to gage the problem at first sight. A problem might have several sub problems or a solution to one issue might raise compatibility issues with other which were tough to foresee .

2. Why do they always want an instant response to their email or query, a developer being online isn't just there to answer your damn obvious and sometimes stupid questions which can be understood just be glancing at the logs once.

-- How annoying would it be if the manager himself is being poked every other minute for trivial things. Does he have the same patience with his/her developers?

3. In tough times the manager easily delegates the responsibility to the developer and instead of standing by his/her side, interrogates them as if we have done some crime.

-- Wasn't this approved by you. Weren't you the one who had these stupid demands before and didn't let me do things the correct or optimized way. I am not saying I am always right, but you can be atleast open for feedback or discussion.

Why are you the first to take credit for the success and yet hold us responsible for any mishaps.

It's sad to see that some of these people have been tech developers.
I can go on ranting for many more things.
I am not saying all those people out there are like this. But trust me many are.

Note: I am not seasoned as you guys out there. I may even be biased by my own experiences. But this is in complete contrast to what I was expecting when I graduated from college and was excited to finally learn by working.

This might be a long post. I need some serious advice.

For the past 6-7 months, My friend and I have been working with these two guys "Managers" on their startup idea. He managed the backend and I was managing the 2 frontend systems for them. The Managers are non-technical.

For the longest time, the Managers were very stubborn on how they wanted things to be implemented in my code or how they wanted something to look. Initially, this was not a bother as we thought that their experience bought some insight that we lacked, but after changing dozens of things back to how we originally made them, we started feeling unhappy. I specifically was more affected by this as most of their changes were related to the front end.

This caused a lot of rifts between us and sometimes led to heated conversations. I won't say that it's all on them. I do have an attitude issue. But then, it's the same with them.

Other than that, one of the Managers is very condescending. He used to talk badly, discredit my work and even say things like "Ohh, so you can't do it" for things that I said will take too much time to implement. This was seriously affecting my mental health.

Nevertheless, we completed the system, which was originally supposed to be just an MVP, over the course of these months and now have our sites up and running with almost 100-200 daily hits. But because it's an e-commerce site, that too with a very different model, the revenue has not started yet.

Yesterday, one of the Managers called me and in so many words told me that I should exit, because of my attitude, with my current equity which is just 3% which amounts to nothing as the company has no value right now. On top of that, I, an idiot, had not taken any remuneration for the first 4 months.

Although I too want to leave, now that I have seen their real face and also because of my mental health. I feel that the system I have made is worth more than 3% equity, way more than that. One of them is a multi-featured seller dashboard to manage products, finances, orders, and a ton of complex features like bulk uploads using excel, image cropping for products, and region selection. The other is a highly optimized dynamic site using Nuxt which is used as the store, with SEO good enough to often list it as one of the top results of various google searches. I'll drop the dev links in the comments if you are interested.

But I don't know how to go about it. I do have complete control over my code and have not signed any formal contract with them, but I feel bad about jeopardizing the company at this stage. Not to mention all that work will just go to waste as well.

Sometimes I just feel happy, just happy.

Let's stop worrying about not meeting deadlines and the several loc that needs to be checked for bugs and optimized, and let's just be grateful that you're not on the streets not able to even have a square meal a day.

Let's just forget about stuff and occasionally be happy that you're gifted, if ur reading this you're definitely privileged, atleast to some extent, so try being happy for it once a while :)

Peace

!rant

Designed and written > 1.3k lines of code this week and 98% test coverage..
CI and CD set up and working..

Was a Long week and very exhausting but I feel really good now, happy to start the weekend with whiskey and beer.

This is gonna be one of my most productive sprints so far..

Hope you all had a successful week as well.

Happy Friday 🍻

And please don’t start with any „that’s nothing, I’ve written 5k lines ones“ comments.. It‘s professional, stable, optimized code and code I can actually be proud of.

Last week all the sites I'm hosting started acting real strange... Nothing made sense.

One site gave an error telling me that the database couldn't write to disk "insufficient space"...

What? Are you fucking kidding me?

Turns out indexing 14TB of data kinda makes mlocate use a lot of space...

Excluded one folder, optimized the db and voila, from 17GB to less than 1GB...

Pretty much a sort of research work. The first assignment was: "look, we have this CAD viewer, but we would want to eventually optimize the structure of the mesh, so here's this method of minimizing the memory footprint. Try implementing it and integrating it with our application."

PS: the method is using triangle strips, where the next triangle uses two vertexes of the previous one, theoretically reducing the memory footprint of the mesh by 2/3 if the mesh is fully optimized. In the end, due to memory and performance constraints (this had to run on the first gen iPad), and overall application architecture, on the fly striping was unfeasible and gained no benefit, because striping an arbitrary mesh is a fucking hard task.

Another one was an implementation of smooth shading by recalculating vertex normals in runtime.

Ok so you're a pretty good programmer. You don't take time to grasp stuff, but then we all know there are times when we all fail to understand certain things. But why does that 'making a fool out of yourself' incident HAVE to happen when your colleagues are around?
Scene 1:
Coding alone, no bugs at all. Perfectly optimized code. Runs with no compile-time errors or warnings.
Scene 2 :
Typing code. Colleague enters my cabin. Before even I execute it, finds 300 compile-time errors. All of them happen to be true
Judged for life..

Why, oh programmer god, why?

It feels so good actually doing something that saves the company a buttload of money.

Just optimized some ML models. Now it costs a tenth of the money to run them :P

Show 10 lines of code to a dev.

Dev: It could be improved here and there, it can be optimized way better etc.

Show 5000 lines of code to dev.

Dev: Looks good!

Fucking christ this year is a fucking shitfest:

- wpa2 krack
- "DUHK Attack Lets Hackers Recover Encryption Key Used in VPNs & Web Sessions"
- "Hacker Hijacks CoinHive's DNS to Mine Cryptocurrency Using Thousands of Websites"
- "Bad Rabbit: New Ransomware Attack Rapidly Spreading Across Europe"

My fucking router didn't yet get patched, my fucking phone is outdated and I can't change to my patched one because devrant just shits the bed in extended desktop mode. Windows 8.1 loses support in 3 months, rendering my last chance of using it on my surface pro done, making me use windows 10 with its fucking shit ass not optimized tablet interface. I have just fucking constant paranoia what else could be hacked tomorrow, nothing is fucking safe anymore for fucks sake. I even went as far as implement 3 step auth and intrusion detection on my shitty ass VPS nodes, fucking give me a break you fucking assholes.

When a vendor tells you you can't do certain things on their API because their database is not optimized, and then drops the bomb that doing a certain action that, when it happens to overlap with a completely different client doing the same action, causes their system to go down, you know it's a Tuesday that feels like it should be a Friday...

When I started my internship my PRs got absolutely blasted by code style comments and suggestions about code that could be more optimized

Now, almost a year later, I can proudly say my PRs only get a maximum of 2 comments and I've seen myself grow over the months :)

I had a ticket to enhance the loading of a page.

So instead of doing 40K requests to a MySQL DB in order to generate a tree and display it to to the user on each page visit, the initial query was optimized and moreover, the results are saved in a MongoDB which will then are served to the user on each page visit.

Long story short, after a code review the code got shipped to production and there was a bug which got fixed in a Hotfix shortly afterwards.

I got all the blame for the bug.
I don't deny I have a responsibility for the bug.
Do you guys think the code reviewer also has a shared responsibility for the bug?

I made 60 lines of modern, clean, multi threaded, optimized python3 code to deliver data from GIT to IBM ClearCase, on old Windows VM, hundreds of files (CC is file-based version control, every file has it's own change)

This calls for sauna today to definitely get rid of this dirt :)

And they said devops is all around docker nowadays :)

When it took 6 months to design and develop a trade show application in ASP.NET MVC 4, and suddenly - "Make the tablet-optimized version by next week". Wat??

You: make heavily optimized complex multithreaded back-end

Management: Make better CSS

Work on a product to categorize text… previous guy implemented an NLP solution that took 20 per body of text (500 words or so) in a $400/mo AWS instance, was about 80% accurate and needed “more data for training” 🤦‍♂️

I thought (and still think) that for some use cases AI is straight up snake oil. Decided instead to make an implementation with a word list and a bunch of if statements in Go… no performance considerations, loops within loops reading every single word… I just wanted to see if it worked and maybe later I could write it more optimized in Rust or something…

first time I ran it it took so little that I thought it had a bug… threw more of the test data we had for the NLP, 94% accuracy, 50 flipping milliseconds per body of text in a $5/mo AWS instance!!!

Now, that felt good!!
(The other guy… errr… left, that code is still the core of product of the company I built it for, I got bored and moved to another company :)

Imagine a time when a colleague contributes a shitty spaghetti of non-optimized code that neither use mnemonic variables nor conventional naming of functions, and you can imagine the dark hours of maintaining it and your fingers itch to fix it but you don't have the time and the responsibility too to do it. He doesn't listen to you and you feel bad to tell this to the boss as the colleague is also a friend you've known since college and is a good person otherwise. No options seems to give peace.

When it’s 3am and you are working on an exception for more than 2 hours and have optimized your whole code just to be sure and remember you are writing swift not java: some ints have low max value like UInt8.

Today salesmen gave me some recommendations about my "so hardly optimized" SQL queries..suggestin me to change em.. I said okay, let's execute these.. 10 hours later, their computers sql workbenches finally displayed the fucking first one.

Result: 0 row... 🤐

So I start developing a site for a client and request for the site assets.. Client provides 100+ 25mb sized .tiff images.... For the web! I tell him that the page load times will be insanely slow and I explain the need for optimized images.. He doesn't care.. So I upload the images and he flips out at the performance hit, complaining about the slow load times.. Here I am sitting and optimizing the images when I should be home :/

from 1-10 how bad is it if i publish an app to play store knowing it has bugs and is not very optimized but everything works fine?

I fucking hate Visual Studio!

Don't get me wrong, from time to time I actually enjoy it but not today.
It all went south when I tried to add a new handler to an fucking old asp.net webpage. I had the access the 'Range' headed to stream bits of audio and video files to the client. It was working absolutely fine for the first hour and a half, after that point the fun started...
VS decided that my source code and the binaries won't match anymore. Everytime I tried to add a fucking breakpoint or debug this cunt of an error it would just refuse
The worst part that made me go apeshit was when I finally got a breakpoint and the exception. Some unknown fucking system dll just kept on killing my thread without a proper error message because it's optimized to the fucking moon and back!

Any ideas from the devs here on what's going on and how the fuck I can fix this?

A: Please build a Website for our new product.
A: Please use fancy technology, Animations and stuff!
B: OK, but $_things won't Work on mobile
A: mobile is Not our target audience. No Problem, optimize it for big Screens only.
B: it's 2017 - we need a mobile optimized Page, are u sure?
A: yes, so what i say

A week later...

B: hey a, here is Your preview. Optimized for big Screens, and i didn't Care much about mobile.

A: HEY B, YOU NEED TO FIX $FUNCTIONS ASAP!! THEY DON'T WORK ON MOBILE

TLDR: I need advice on reasonable salary expectations for sysadmin work in the rural United States.

I need some community advice. I’m the sysadmin at a small (35 employee) credit card processing company. I began as an intern and have now become their full time sysadmin/networking specialist. Since I was hired in January I have:

-migrated their 2007 Exchange server to Office 365

-Upgraded their ailing Windows server 2003 based architecture to 2012R2

-Licensed their unlicensed VMware ESXi servers (which they had already paid for license keys for!!!) and then upgraded them to 6.5 while preventing downtime on hosted VMs using tricky transfers and deployments (without vMotion!)

-Deployed a vCenter server to manage said ESXi servers easier

-Fixed a three month gap in their backups by implementing Veeam, and verifying its functionality

-Migrated a ‘no downtime’ fileserver to a new hypervisor host, implemented a ‘hot standby’ server as a backup kept up to date by the minute with DFS replication.

-Replaced failing hard drives in a RAID array underlying their one ‘business critical’ fileserver, which had no backups for 3 months at that time

-Reorganized Active Directory and Group Policy deployment from a nightmare spiderweb of OUs and duplicate policies

-Documented the entire old network and now the new one as I’ve been upgrading this

-Audited the developers AWS instances and removed redundant machines, optimized load balancing on front end Nginx servers, joined developer run Fedora workstations to the AD domain and implemented centralized syslog monitoring on them.

-Performed network scans and rewrote firewall exceptions to tighten security

There’s more, but you get the idea. I’ve now been tasked with taking point on an upcoming PCI audit which will be my first.

I’m being paid $16/hr US, with marginal health benefits. This is roughly $32,000 a year, before taxes.

I have two years previous work experience managing a third party Apple repair facility (SimplyMac) and every Apple certification for warranty repair and software troubleshooting. I have a two year degree in general sciences, with about 4 years of college credit (Two years of a physics education and two years of computer science after I switched focus) I’m actively pursuing a CCNA and MCSA server 2016 with exams paid for and scheduled.

I’m going into a salary negotiation in two months. What is a reasonable salary to request, from your perspective, for someone in my position?

Thanks in advance!

Crawling out of my shell and taking control of my own work. Colleagues were surprised because I'm a very quiet person.

Sales can promise all they want, I decide when we're done. Taking the time to train my peers and learning from them. Communicating with everyone in a way to get things done. Get involved with other departments to see if processes can be optimized. Manage the customer's expectations (under-promise, over-deliver) Taking over this damn company to be more efficient!

To fetch 100 users at once, i used JPA hibernate findAll() method. Simple fucking enough. I realized this shit is slow. Takes a while to fetch and 100 records aint even a lot!

This shit needs over 265 ms to fetch 100 users

About 75 ms to fetch 20 users

That shits terrible!

Then i wrote a custom JDBC class with custom SQL queries to fetch the exact same shit.

Now it fetched 100 users in 7 ms, 37x times faster for performance

I havent even optimized indexing or did shit. I just avoided using jpa hibernate

Someone explain this to me

I went on a coding tear last week, probably because my boss was on vacation. I optimized the bejesus out of a half dozen apps and created five or six new features to downstream apps. But now I need to write them all down, and make retroactive stories for them. I hate admin.

I hope my peers will stop using fukin' snapchat because its such a piece of poorly optimized shit (POPOS) on Android.

BPOS client sub contracts a website and wants a WordPress one. Creates a design based on a theme.
This particular theme has a demo page.
And when running it through pagespeed insights returns a score Of 29.
Pingdom score of grade D.

Halfway through "development" we get a complaint from BPOS that the site is returning a score of 49 and a Pingdom score of grade B.

Considering how bad the theme is and how optimized we got. I believe that this was a miracle.
The things we do to make a living.

I was searching for an optimized daily timetable which includes programming , learning new stuff , etc.
It would be great if you share your daily routine with me so I can maximize my performance.

Thanks 👍

To preincrement or to postincrement?

for(var i = 0; i<length; ++i){
}

or

for(var i = 0; i<length; i++){
}

I would imagine on a good vm or compiler this would be optimized anyway. So does it really matter?

This is what I did today in 5 hours and 45 minutes. Documentation and optimized code inside. One method was kinda tricky but I managed to optimize it from 1,88s in the first lazy version to 35ms in the end. Now that's what I call a productive day

I wrote an algorithm that incorporates a 3rd party API. and the algorithm is so fast and optimized that I started to get 429 status codes from the third party API, asking me to slow down my requests, which I didn't think was an issue when I tested on local env.

Now I'm on purpose slowing down my code, to prevent that from happening.

Talk about suffering from success.

Project manager: "What is a micro service? I'm dating a girl and she mentioned it and I want to impress her."

Me: "Well, you have monolithic services which tend to serve many different functions whereas a micro service tends to serve a single function or a few related functions. They are usually easier to scale and can be optimized to be faster. Still, right tool for the job."

Project manager: "Oh nice! So I can ask her 'Hey, want to see my micro service? It's quick and scalable.'"

-face palm-

He's leaving this week. I'm going to miss him though.

Seriously though, in that context, would scalability mean you're bringing friends?

Ok.. So I applied for a web dev position at a small-to-medium sized company. They had a telephonic round which they were happy with. They then sent out an assignment for me (A simple webapp to complete in 1hr). I did it and sent them the code. Finally, the face to face interview also went well.

At the end of it all, the HR comes back and tells me - "You did not use a MVC framework for the assignment and your code was not optimized for unit testing."

Me - "Ugh. (1) You did not have to call me for the face to face interview if you did not like my code. (2) You specified NOT to use any 3rd party libraries when doing the assignment. (3) You can tell people directly that you cannot afford them."

So we're doing this contract work for this other company and the project is just an overcomplicated piece of garbage where they shoved every buzzword technology into it just because. I managed to get the code just about organized and functional on our side of the contract and it was looking up when suddenly the management decides "we had a rough start, lets start over, learning from our mistakes"
So I was thinking "cool, there were a lot of problems with this overcomplicated pre-optimized stack, surely we can only do better".. oh boy how naive I was. See Im not the guy in charge of the infrastructure (unfortunately) and really the project structure across this huge multi service project is a free-for-all kind of management.. so we had a call on friday where they explained how the new structure should be built... 3 new technologies, more micro services and even worse dependency tree later I was contemplating suicide on the spot.

I tried to make this shit usable and efficient and all my fucking work went down the drain in a single day of these fuckers throwing more buzzwords at the problem... I can't even get a new empty project started without browsing our huge 100+ repo project git for which dependency Im still missing to even run it...

I fucking hate this retarded piece of crap project and I hope every "manager" and "developer" with an exception of very few chokes on a cock...

"Mobile optimized" themes, templates, websites etc that are looking completely broken on an actual mobile device are fucking ironic, especially those "css framework" websites.

Two things actually bad I do :
* Put some printing lines everywhere to debug, and then, debug.

* A syntax than can be pretty bad if not handled properly :

if (your test)
do_something();

I actually always put a tabulation to see the hierarchy and break lines, which is not optimized AT ALL but help me to read, and I hope helps other to read too.
But that's a bad habit tho if you have bad presentation of your code (which I don't have, given how people compliments my code presentation)

polymorphic relationships are fucking stupid. it's a great way to make your shit more complex and less maintainable for no benefit other than having 1 less table (which also makes queries slower since they can't be optimized correctly).

I had a tight deadline so what I did to finish the feature was to cut corners by not writing optimized code and not doing enough dev testing to ensure the feature works.

End of today, I've moved the ticket to QA.

Request: My WordPress website, with over 40 plugins active, some of which do the same thing, but I want to keep them all active, because fuck logic is not loading fast enough. Please fix it!

Response: Kill it with fire and buld it from scratch. Use an optimized, custom solution, tailored to your exact needs. The time needed is the same as trying to fix your broken WordPress...

Reaction: WTF? Everybody is using WordPress, that means it's the best! Why would I build my custom website on a fast and easy to maintain custom platform, optimized for my needs? Fix my loading speed!

Response 2: *facepalm*

Okay. So finally I moved into a new pc. Because I never worked in a company, I have absolutely no idea what is the proper standard workflow of developing a website. My work flow was the same in past 12 years, how I have learned in the school: Used xampp, developed everything, used git only locally, when stuff was ready I fired up Filezilla and uploaded everything, and used ssh to make the final adjustments. When I have made some changes, I just uploaded the files I have touched, in the same way, optimized if it was necessary, done. I wonder if someone can clarify me how a proper workflow looks like for php/laravel, mysql, nothing fancy. Is using xampp still okay? Or what is the industry standard procedure?

Google PageSpeed Insights can kill my motivation. Few days ago I launched a site and everything is awesome, page loads around 0.535 seconds, caching enabled, images optimized. Than my boss run it on Google PageSpeed Insights result was 85/100 then my boss said why I can't get 100/100.

I looked at an SQL server today from a customer, talked with one of their devs and he said that he's unable to understand why the server misbehaves... All (!) queries were optimized, but they have 'big data queries'... Migraine started, I had a very bad feeling. Monitoring? Nooooppeeee. Migraine kicks in. Connected to server. SHOW GLOBAL VARIABLES...
After a bit of scrolling I found a lot of misconfigured variables (e.g. extreme large join buffers, unrealistic buffer sizes), high slow query count (nearly 60 % of COM_SELECT) and a few variables that were unknown to me.

Then came the version line.
5.0.46
Yes. 5.0.46.

Big data? Well... 30 GB of usage data.

I called the company back... The dev told me sternly that this was the production server (I had hope...) and that I lie - neither the version, nor the variables could be the problem.
A coworker had to verify it and our manager had to do the communication... Worst, most traumatic working day I ever had.

The internet at work sucks, then ask why a website load them so slow yet optimized everything.

!rant

I'm a rather young developer, self-learned everything and started when I was 13 (now 20) but I still feel like I'm a total beginner since I have not yet mastered the things I am OK at.

Php (laravel, since it makes things much easier), js (jquery, bad at vanilla, have used angular and ember but not mastered), node, linux, html, css, photoshop, illustrator, sql, mongo and windows servers

I know little about many things, can create things that are asked of me but the methods I use are rather bad imo.. ex: I finish coding a section of a site, but when I need to add a new feature I find myself rewriting most of the stuff to add the new feature and in the end still feeling like the code could be optimized further, even though I have no idea how.

TL;DR I write bad code, but things work as long as I am monitoring them. I know little about alot of stuff but mastered none of them.

What should I do? Go to school for programming?

Hello.
So we have a query inside our company :
We are developers. We are (At least supposed to) logic.
Do you think We developers can influence environment of the planet?
For my self : Not sure, but I would like to believe that more my code is optimized, less resources it will use.

FUCK rabbit holes real hard. When you spend a week creating a super optimized recursive handler for mapping redundant database row results and you wake up from your coma realizing everything could be handled by a much simpler SQL query done in five minutes. Fuck me, fuck the rabbits creating holes to fall into and fuck Alice for creating the fucking illusion of wonderland.

Perhaps as a tip for the junior devs out there, here's what I learned about programming skills on the job:

You know those heavy classes back in college that taught you all about Data Structures? Some devs may argue that you just need to know how to code and you don't need to know fancy Data Structures or Big o notation theory, but in the real world we use them all the time, especially for important projects.

All those principles about Sets, (Linked) lists, map, filter, reduce, union, intersection, symmetric difference, Big O Notation... They matter and are used to solve problems. I used to think I could just coast by without being versed in them.. Soon, mathematics and Big o notation came back to bite me.

Three example projects I worked in where this mattered:
- Massive data collection and processing in legacy Java (clients want their data fast, so better think about the performance implications of CRUD into Collections)
- ReactJS (oh yes, maps and filters are used a lot...)
- Massive data collection in C# where data manipulation results are crucial (union, intersection, symmetric difference,...)
Overall: speed and quality mattered (better know your Big o notation or use a cheat sheet, though I prefer the first)
Yes, the approach can be optimized here, but often we're tied to client constraints, with some room if we're lucky.

I'm glad I learned this lesson. I would rather have skills in my head and in memory than having to look up things and try to understand them all the time.

Today spent 20min in a senior android dev interview debating an ex backender CTO about the importance of final classes where he tried to pull out some sort of perfect answer from me about it. Ironically this is the same CTO who failed managing a previous android contractor who was supposed to rewrite old app and ended up with an even shittier new app in 6 months of time. Now they are insecure and are looking for a new contractor who will be micromanaged this time.

But hey I guess he knows the importance of final classes. Some CTO's need a reality check and at least some business training, because your perfectly written app is useless if it doesnt fulfill business needs.

Their app is based on heresdk and built around navigation. The biggest bottleneck is that it works shitty on low end devices so their competition solved this problem by using a whitelabel rooted tables with a custom ROM wher u have full control over hardware, permissions and battery management. However this startup thinks they can build a perfect navigation app which will work perfectly on all devices while at the same time while also relying on a poorly optimized navigation sdk. Poor initial strategy I'd say and they didnt learn from previous 2 failures, now they are searching for the next savior android contractor who will have to solely implement evrything.

Laravel being easy to use is far from a strong point. "Easy to use" is a cool thing for pro developers who know what's going on under the hood and don't wanna write the same thing a hundred times.
It should translate into good developers being able to work immediately, not in bad developers getting away with whatever without getting even a slight warning just because the framework itself accepts whatever weird crap you can come up with while you're training.
But that's what it became: a free for all for every noob out there. You find yourself working with a slow application (and by "slow" I mean "slow even by Laravel's standards", which are fairly low), and as soon as you look what's going on you find someone decided to load a hundred thousand middlewares, queries optimized like ass on top of Eloquent, and the whole application breaks as soon as you just run config:cache to try speeding it up a little bit, because env-ing your way out of whatever problem is so quick. Easy to use needs to be there for pro developers; give such a tool to a newbie, you end up with a maintenance nightmare

It's the first time since I finished high school (2 years ago) that I get to review my CV. I included as one of my features that I liked to write "optimized code" and just realized how wrong that is. Those where the times when I had little to no experience at all and would spend unreasonable amount of time to write programs with the fewest lines possible (I loved python because its one-line capability).

I think it's time to rewrite that CV.

Load tests:

I'm used to do load tests in Visual Studio where it gives which line is exactly your bottleneck. But now I'm using VS Code (visual studio requires enterprise license for load tests :\ no longer have one)

Anyways long story short, what are the best practices for load tests? For me what I'm testing is how much can a given hardware specs handle and when test fails I go back and check if code can be optimized, is this the correct way to do this?

I just love optimizing stuff and here is my story I think somehow is very cool as you can see the progress just looking at two values.

//NOTE: This api relies on another api which is slow af. The requests are done here directly but later will be carried out async and in the background by using some ticket system.

1) First PoC
2) Used caching of requests and improved method to filter out unnecessary stuff
3) Optimized response formatting

NOTE to myself: Things are going too good...

Optimized some code yesterday to speed up writes and reads to the various channels of a pixel of an image.

One of the changes was to directly modify the original image, instead of copying the modded pixels to a new image.

Code stopped working.

After a day of debugging and going insane since the methods that had to be working were in fact working, I decided to check whether the image I was loading had an alpha channel, which my program wrote to and read from.

No alpha channel. Some days I feel like a complete fool.

How much I hate when someone says "You need to do this because in my experience this is more optimized". Dude, have you even profiled that?

So I was looking into phone app development again (as you do) and I'm working on a simple QoL app for me and my SO that will help us automate some home management and finances stuff. Naturally I delved down the rabbit hole deep and wanted to have push notifications so we don't have to check the app periodically to know when certain things happen... Oh boy... Why is mobile development so convoluted, especially if you don't want to rely on Google Services...

It seems that the most accepted way of doing this is Firebase (FCM). Well me being me, I refuse to use google services for this and I prefer self hosted solutions (for data privacy reasons) which eliminates most products out there.

It also didn't help that my framework of choice is Flutter/Dart, because fuck Android Studio and the insane buggy XML stuff and fuck Android and it's constantly changing APIs...

Well In the end I decided on a rather simple solution and self hosted an AMQP service (RabbitMQ in my case, as I have some experience with it already) and implemented a foreground service in android platform specific code on top of my flutter project to kickstart it and made my phone a queue listener... This now means I can push notifications from my server to the Messaging Queue and it will be pushed into my App automatically!

One thing I found out on this journey was that Android now kills most background services and enforces foreground services to have a visible notification in the status drawer... which I actually approve of. It's a bit annoying that you can start a reliable background service, but I'm absolutely on-board with long running processes started by my apps are constantly visible...

Long story short, I love reinventing all the wheels, especially if it's for free and private... And I also went to sleep at 2AM again because this took longer that I'd like to tune... but it works, and it's google free...

I'm thinking of trying to package this up as a flutter module later, but first I want to do testing on battery life and the general life cycle of the service. RabbitMQ says they have the client library optimized for long-lasting connections and it should be just using a tcp socket, which should pretty much be what all the push notification services are doing anyway. I'm also not completely satisfied with how the permanent notification looks.. it isn't collapsible like some of the other ones from other apps and it's about 2 lines high instead of single line... which is something quite annoying and I'm struggling to find any relevant docs on how this is done other than possible making a custom Notification Style... but I just can't believe that everyone is doing that.. there must be a built-in somewhere -_-... Ugh Android is hell...

Anyway, if any android devs here have some hints, tips and tricks on how to handle this type of background/foreground process stuff and I'm doing something wrong let me know, cause googling this shit is a nightmare too!

When you can see how optimized your code was each time you tried running it.

After spending hours with lots of determination and concentration.
I finally made it, the output I want. But, the code is not optimized.... Sigh!!

GraphQL question here!
So i recently noticed (few years after everyone?) That graphql seems popular... I decided to try it out, but after playing with it a bit, the conclusion I came to is, that it's a great idea from FE point of view, but for the backend not so much.. a simple sql to return data to ui turns into a bunch of parts, all independant and with even the simplest relationship to some other entity the whole thing becomes very not optimized and when googling about it, all i found were some very awkward libs for work arounds to force everything into 1 optimized query again... But wait, i already have 1 optimized query in my rest api 😆

I don't understand if I'm missing the brilliance of graphql that everyone saw, or is everyone fell for the hype and use a stupid tool and pretend it's cool? 🫣

I see a major shift coming up im regards of how we continue to evolve the way our applications work in regards to web based solutions. Http was not meant to do the shit that we are doing today, yeah it works, but it continues to feel like a hack. The advent of A.I and WebAssembly will probably make developers more mindful about compilers and truly optimized code. Languages such as Rust are pointing in the right direction in terms of speed and safety and as our computers become more powerful so will our way to communicate with them. Eventually damn near every web based solution will include A.I even when it is not needed at all.

Regardless of what happens. Yo ass is not going to stop hearing about C++, SQL, and Javascript(top kek)

When I finally learned how to use vertex lists with OpenGL bindings in Python and optimized my game's tilemap rendering. I think it is my best written code snippet so far. It took me weeks to finish it.

TL;DR Does MacBooks degrade faster for developers due to poor thermals?

I’m developing on a 15” MacBook Pro for work. I got it new last year. Now I’m experiencing that it crashes when punishing my CPU with my hardly CPU optimized scripts.

My thought that the poor thermals MacBooks has could be the reason. I mean, Macs are sort of known for their reliability, however I punish my CPU a lot more for many more hours, every single day than the average MacBook user.

Could the instability really be due to a fact that last gen 15” MacBook Pros have poor thermals, thus bad design for programmers, making the CPU unstable due to degradation?

I love it when a coding assignment is to take the last assignment and do one thing more optimized !!! 😄😄

All the hard stuff is already done and all I have to do is some optimization that I’ve done before in other languages and just have to implement in this one 😄

It's really strange to me that display servers/window managers (Xorg, Wayland, etc) aren't locked to given desktop environments (GNOME, KDE, Unity, Cinnamon, etc). It doesn't make sense to me that they are separate and not optimized together.

Dude in my Calc 2 class just bitched about iPhones having "shitty software" referencing that bug from around ~6 years ago, when a specific iMessage text would reboot your phone. IMO, 99% of what Apple does well is software. UI is subjective, but final cut pro is unbelievable in terms of functionality for its price, their software is so well optimized that iPhones have been able to use comparably tiny batteries and still compete. They are consistent throughout their company with software design, while companies like Google are so stratified it took years before their material design had been implemented in all their services, there are still a few that aren't (not to mention the meme of Google killing off all their projects). I hate tablets, but the iPad pro has the best software/hardware implementation of any I've ever seen. Apple's interconnectivity between devices is unbelievable, whether it's Continuity features or the setup process just recognizing group devices around and pulling data to create consistent account info and saving you taps. Siri is shit, but apart from that their software isn't bad enough that you should complain about that instead of...

Their Macs are fucking pressure-cookers, and their fuckin marketing department is like a different company all-together, and their anti-fix-it-yourself policies are so user hostile that they're toe-to-toe with being as abusive to customers as Oracle.

TL;DR the biggest scam Apple has pulled off is not that the sheep still think Android and PC users are living in 2010, but they've convinced the sheep that they know what shitty software is. At that point they're too many levels deep and there is no red-pill strong enough for them.

February will be the first full year at this company as full time employee.

I've updated so many legacy projects, optimized a lot of workflows as well as built new tools to improve efficiency and remove unnecessarily duplicate projects (sometimes literally only 3 variables were different between multiple projects)

My one co-worker taught himself enough code to do the job but doesn't think like a programmer though he is asking me for help and advice to improve what he does since ive proven i know a little. my other direct co-worker I'm practically teaching a Programming 100 course to them

My direct manager at one point said he was so happy he took a chance on me even though I didn't interview well

I like my job, I find it so much better than my last job which was horribly toxic, and more fun than my first 'real' job as a night shift help desk for basically a warehouse environment.

But I feel under paid sometimes for how much i do and all ive improved in my first year, I have my first yearly review coming up. I'm hoping to get a decent raise for all ive done and I want to somehow go over everything with the HR person to justify it. But I have no idea how to talk about my dev work to them in a way a non technical person could understand. I'm also not sure how the review process will work. Like will my manager be there. Or is it just me and HR, is there a paper I'll be sent to fill before hand,

Got my QBASIC demopart ready for testing, completely optimized and ready to roll. Found 486 owner (33MHz, 8MB of RAM) who tested it for me.

Takes 13 seconds for the scroller to draw each frame at 300x200.

No possible optimizations are present, everything's crushed as far as it'll go, meaning a completely different method of scrolling is needed.

(Still faster than the array method by 37 seconds per frame, but y'know...)

fuck me...

7:45 am
get broken by alarm #1, fall asleep

7:50 am
get broken by alarm #2, fall asleep

7:55 am
get broken by alarm #3, fall asleep

8:00 am
get broken by alarm #4, fall asleep

8:10 am
get broken by alarm #5, fall asleep

8:20 am
get broken by alarm #6, fall asleep

8:30 am
get broken by alarm #7, get up

8:35 am
Prepare for work

8:40 am
Go to office job

9:00 am
Slave for $8.125 an hour matrix job

5:10 pm
Come back home, hungry, exhausted

5:50 pm
Finished eating, take a break

6:10 pm
Finished taking a break, time to start working on my side project

8:00 pm
Feeling exhaustion and stunned, as if i got hit by a flashbang grenade

9:00 pm
Exhaustion exponentially increased. Yawning. Eyes barely open. Extreme tiredness. Head movement started producing motion blur. Body just wants to shut down and sleep

10:00 pm
Start losing concentration while coding my side project. Start making stupid beginner bugs that i fail to debug

11:00pm
By this time i am barely functional so i have to go to bed. Sleep and repeat all of this bullshit every day

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Is....this...the life thats awaiting me for the rest of my life if i dont earn millions asap? If so then i dont want it. I reject this type of life like satan rejects cross. I do not want to be a part of this clownery.

REALISTICALLY getting 2 hours per day of optimized time and energy to work on my project, is not enough. Even 8 hours a day is not enough. I need full time work on my project. Thats how valuable it is.

This job is draining me. I feel like i signed a contract with the devil to drain my soul. Fuck. Seems like all contracts we sign is the same shit as selling our soul for money? WTF think about this bullshit! Celebrities seem to be the smartest then. They sign contracts to perform satan rituals in exchange for MILLIONS of dollars while we sign a contract to work for satan and get paid $8.125 an hour like fucking losers.

I cant believe nobody warned me about this satanic society since i was a little kid

Digital transformation is pain in the ass, my customer migrated project management from self hosted jira to atlassian cloud.

Results:
I am finally able to login to this new amazing jira that looks completely different but still nothing is optimized to laptop screen so looks crap as before.

My issues are now assigned to not existing user.

At least I remember how to use basic JQL and reassign issues to me.

I feel bad to other team members.
Great waste of time.

VI is awesome!! It can open big files wtih no stress and performs queries really fast. The engine is very well designed and optimized but not the interface.

I think the Golang serialization API is utter garbage.
By convention it usually looks like this,

MarshalFormat() ([]byte,error)
UnmarshalFormat([]byte) error

This means that all serialization and deserialization is done on, heap allocated, in memory buffers ( technically also mmaped files, but thats not cross platform).
As the Go GC is ruthlessly optimized for minimum latency, this can potentially cause memory leaks in long running applications.

I think we need a new serialization API that looks more like

SerializeFormat(io.Writer) error
DeserializeFormat(io.Reader) error

What do you think of my setup?
I carry a strong laptop for heavy lifting and an iPad for RDP'ing into either my laptop or cloud hosted VM's.
This setup is obviously optimized for mobility, if I had a stable place to work, I'd use a desktop with multiple screens.

What are the challenges of using standard Linux on phones, perhaps with a phone-optimized desktop environment?

Not being able to release code until it works really well, is optimized, etc.

Today I (/ later together with some colleagues) spent almost 4 hours trying to improve a Entity Framework LINQ to SQL query.
The initial problem was, that one of our List API endpoints took longer the more you "page" (besides the long response time it had anyways).
So after
- brainstorming in the team
- brainstorming alone
- hacking around and
- shouting at screens
- googling
we
- got nothing optimized
- got confused about what EF does
- lost the believe in our development skills

So Entity Framework is really a nice thing. But as soon as you look deeper, trying to figure out what it really does between ToList() and "yeah my data arrived" it is just....demonic.

Is writing hand-optimized SIMD code even still worth it? Thinking about writing my own little math library for my game engine but I've tried writing a hand-optimized `dot(normalize(b - a), foo) >= bar` and somehow it's actually slower than writing the same thing using a math lib which is implemented exclusively with scalar math and auto vectorized by llvm

LLVM... I kneel

By making badly optimized code that takes forever to run, I have a good reason to do nothing but feel like I'm achieving something by glancing at the progress bar every so often. "Still rolling, way to go my little rock with lightnings. You can do it!"

I've stumbled upon some sources (mostly C/C++ and Pascal) during reorganizing backups in home LAN from 25+ years ago. Hell, I've used to be better coder then (code is more optimized and cleaner).

Perhaps it is just hardware (much, much more powerful) and choice of languages/libraries/frameworks I use nowadays?!

When your customer face a lot of 503 on the main website since weeks and you are confirming that the code changes doesn't affect anything for that.

Later in a 2 hour calls you see that the machine with the MySQL server (that wasn't monitored) had issues with table never optimized/repaired because the cron that do that was remove because useless (for them).

Keep pushing myself to learn new skills, even if they aren't necessarily useful to me at the present time. And keep trying to do something in a more optimized fashion.

just need some help from the devRant community.

i don't have an android tablet and I want some screenshots of my app in a tablet for it to be optimized for tablets on play store.

Can anyone here with a tab having android 4.4+ help me by taking the screenshots in his/her tablet?

It's been 2 years since I got a result for an issue while googling. Whenever I post something on SO I get 0 responses because no one knows :(

Highly optimized code, compiler errors and working with "new stuff" ftl :(

Sometimes I just have a crazy idea for an amazing feature I could add to a side project.

Then my brain goes into a fight with itself over this feature, one side saying "that's a lot of work, not worth it" and the other side "but then we could also do this and that and hey maybe we could even simplify other stuff a little bit" and in the process getting really fond of that feature. After some time, the idea is really optimized because the lazy side of my brain hates unnecessary work.

Anyway, I just came home, created a new branch and deleted a quarter of my code base which is now obsolete.

Not a rant more like a question

Hello devRant,
I am currently planning to purchase a small home server + media client (with Kodi).

A small Linux Distro running the Hometheateroftware Kodi will run on the media clients (Odroid C2). The control is then over an app over the local network. The database of Kodi should be on the server in the form of a MySQL database. The movies, pictures, music are also streamed by the server (max. 2 simultaneously) via SMB (simplest variant). In addition, the server is to be accessible to the outside via a web interface to act as a cloud (maybe nextcloud). The whole should be optimized for stability and longevity. In addition, a small GitLab CE instance will probably run on the server. Do you have any comments or objections? The fact that I only take 2x ne 2 TB hard drive has the simple reason that I currently have no need for more space. Sometimes it happens to me that I forget completely obvious things :D

1000 lines of css is still smaller then most images optimized for modern displays (aka everything that isn't a thumbnail). Either our designers don't come up with stuff complex enough to validate adding a compilation step to interpreted code or I'm missing something,

I've been looking into CSS preprocessors. Can anyone give me an example of why you'd use one that isn't some lame programming platitude like "pushing technology forward"? Like an actual design element that can't be done in straight up CSS?

As someone who compiled AS3 for the web back in the day the "new wave" of internet technology (with all it's compilation steps) seems super dodgy.

mfw the client says he wants his e-commerce site SEO optimized, and his "computer guy" friend has had a default cms installation set on their domain for months and it's already indexed by every engine probably with a negative score 🙆🙆

You are doing it right if you keep it DRY.

Starts a new project in school with a colleague. Write some code, a lot of code, just to find out, that he "optimized" my code and now all of my code looks completly different but does the same thing wiht same performance.

Colleague: The code is now better

My Face: 😫

Not really an impressive one, but I think it's blasphemous enough to be mentioned:

Creating an embedded application, it was not supported to print a float using optimized libraries (understandable since they're not really supposed to be used anyways), but I was too lazy to convert clocks to a time unit by hand while running benchmarks. So I just printed the float as two integers, splitting it to one for the whole and one for the thousands.

I just deleted HTTPS Everywhere plugin from Firefox on my phone. Everything runs much faster. Very optimized plugin!

did you know Verizon fios's own outage monitoring page isn't optimized for mobile? it's true. ask me how I know.

UWP suck, I don't wanna hurt yall feeling but it's time to face the truths:
+ SandBox
+ Less Job Offer
+ Development more Complicated than Web App
+ Microsoft not create perfect hardware to make sure our app get to more consumers (the Pro X is failure)
+ Poor Optimized
Poor Optimized ?
the Windows 10 optimization is joke, all my surface laptop, pro, book I have tested. They claim that consume less Ram, but when using it along side electron and Win32 app. It feel so much choppy and lag. I mean WTF ?
UWP was made for optimize low specs SoC such as ARM base, now my laptop running on a core I5 + GPU still lag ??
I'm sorry but this is just sad. Im moving back to win32. WinRT sooner or later will end supported
And Microsoft will improve the Win32 Api