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Today I discovered by myself that...
...in a shell...
...when entering a password (e.g. ssh)...
...and you make a typo... 🤦♂️
...you don't need to smack that backspace key like a maniac! You can just use the clear line shortcut: control+U (^U). This clears all input to the left of your cursor and this also works for passwords.26 -
I'm the biggest dumbass, the laziest procrastinator I know of..
Joined devRant in June 2017, got eligible for the stickers in a week's time, sent a mail requesting them, but never received it. Given the size of our community, I thought I'm way behind in the list and probably receive them in few months. After a year, I totally forgot about it.
But, the colossal stupid that I am, had also lost the key to my mailbox (the physical one). I never cared about the lost key, because who sends post these days !!!
When I finally got a duplicate key for my mailbox after 2 years, guess what I found.. a first class international mail from devRant which arrived on July 2017 🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️, couple of weeks after I originally requested
But, yay... I finally got them..
16 -
There's this guy that sits next to me in a class.
Guy: Hey, you're a hacker right?
Me: I'm a programmer.
Guy: Can you hack into my email account?
Me: Nope, I work in a different field of computer science.
In reality, I want to give him a piece of my mind.
I already know his email so I open up the login page and enter it. I click "forgot password", and it asks for his favorite teacher's name. Keep in mind that he made this account this year.
Me: So anyways, who's your favorite teacher?
Guy: *proceeds to give me favorite teacher's name*
Me: 🤦♂️
I change his password and log into his account. After that, I show him and tell him about how he should keep his account secure.
He left class with a priceless look on his face.14 -
Mom:What are you studying?
Me:Types of SQL Injection
Mom:U r in engineering?Right?So why are u studying types of Injections?
Me:🤦♂️😂😂10 -
Senior Dev: "Be mindful of what you email to the team, some may be rubbed the wrong way."
Me: "I'm going on a year, I figured it was okay to send a meme when appropriate like [the other guy]."
Senior Dev: "Well, [the other guy] has been here for 17 years, so it's sort of expected from him."
Me: "You know what would be weird? If I was here for 17 more years and then 'started' having fun with the team."
Senior Dev: "Yes, but [the other guy] is the only one doing his particular job, which makes him important, so he tends to get away with more."
Me: "No, I get it. If you're a linchpin you can reply with cat memes, but people like me need to mind their place."
Senior Dev: "It's an uncomfortable conversation, but it's all bureaucracy."
Me: "Duly noted. But could you please forward me the specific email I sent that caused the concern?"
Senior Dev: "I'm not sure what the exact email was, when it was sent, or specifically whom it offended."
Me: "Okay, because that would be like me walking up to you and saying that you have a problem that needs to be fixed, but I don't know what your problem is or why it needs to be addressed."
Senior Dev: "You're right, but just be mindful of the emails you send outside of the group."
Me: "I've never group-emailed anything outside of the team."
Senior Dev: "Well, I'll let you get back to work..."
[FML!] 🤦♂️8 -
So our genius client just posted a photo of our office whiteboard on Facebook with the beta site credentials on it... 🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️5
-
Interviewer: Can you explain OOP to a six year old?
Applicant: About the 6yo, are you referring to a client or you?
🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️13 -
Storytime!
Manager: Hey fullstackchris, the maps widget on our app stopped working recently...
Dev: (Skeptical, little did he know) Sigh... probably didn't raise quota or something stupid... Logs on to google cloud console to check it out...
Google Dashboard: Your bill.... $5,197 (!!!!!!) Payment method declined (you think?!)
Dev: 😱 WTF!?!?!! (Calls managers) Uh, we have HUGE problem, charges for $5000+ in our google account, did you guys remove the quota limits or not see any limit reached warnings!?
Managers: Uh, we didn't even know that an API could cost money, besides, we never check that email account!
Dev: 🤦♂️ yeah obviously you get charged, especially when there have literally been millions of requests. Anyway, the bigger question is where or how our key got leaked. Somewhat started hammering one of the google APIs with one of our keys (Proceeds to hunt for usages of said API key in the codebase)
Dev: (sweating 😰) did I expose an API key somewhere? Man, I hope it's not my fault...
Terminal: grep results in, CMS codebase!
Dev: ah, what do we have here, app.config, seems fine.... wait, why did they expose it to a PUBLIC endpoint?!
Long story short:
The previous consulting goons put our Angular CMS JSON config on a publicly accessible endpoint.
WITH A GOOGLE MAPS API KEY.
JUST CHILLING IN PLAINTEXT.
Though I'm relieved it wasn't my fault, my faith in humanity is still somewhat diminished. 🤷♂️
Oh, and it's only Monday. 😎
Cheers!11 -
Mark.
Mark was a support guy who could have been replaced by a robot. Nearly every support request that came in, whether it made sense or not, had a reply saying:
"Thank you for your query, I will escalate with the development team"
...and then I would have a message saying:
"Hi Almond urgent issue case xxx - I think you need to PLEASE CHECK LOGS" (yes, with that capitalisation.)
I'd then look at the case, take 10 seconds to work out the customer had done something stupid when calling our API (often forgetting their authentication details, despite a clear message telling them as such) and tell Mark what the issue was, and how to find it for himself next time. I'd then usually get:
"Thank you but PLEASE CHECK LOGS to see if there is any more info we can provide to customer"
...there would be more back and forth, and then eventually something like the following would reach the customer...
"Very sorry the development team have a major issue they will fix very soon but in the meantime a workaround is (instructions for using authentication details)"
🤦♂️🤦♂️7 -
First we were called "rockstar" developers.
Then HR started using "heroes".
Then "tigers" and some confused associates who didn't get the memo used various other big cats.
Now they're starting to call us "product warriors".
🤦♂️36 -
Conversation with Microsoft support I had after 1 hour:
“You’ll need to wait for 15 minutes”
“By the way did you know you have 5GB free OneDrive storage with a Microsoft account?”
“I’m a customer of a 1TB onedrive plan”
“Well if you’re interested in using it, you’ve got 5GB for free” 🤦♂️😔16 -
Spent some extra time adding a parallax effect to an image on the client’s homepage. Client reported it as a bug 😂🤦♂️3
-
!dev
Last week I watched a DIY video where at the end the guy dumped detergent water on the grass. I kindly commented it's a €150 fine. Their response was on the lines of "Oh yeah, Mr Proper? And what would you say if I told you I spray my whole garden with soap to get rid of weeds, huh?".
Well, you dumb fuck, I don't care what you do, I wasn't attacking you, I was being *nice* and warned you about the fucking fine that you're going to fucking pay because your channel name is your first and last name and your video shows the street and the house number but whatever.
Today I couldn't log into my YouTube account. Why was that, you might ask? Well, because the dumb fuck paid the fucking fine and assumed I was the one that ratted, so he made a video about it and his dumb fuck audience falsely reported all of my videos for child abuse and promoting terrorism.
I only upload unboxing videos that debunk scummy "deals". 🤦♂️11 -
Builds a site around a CMS, so non devs can update content
Gets asked to make simple changes that can be made using said CMS
🤦♂️3 -
On my annoying radar today - devs who learn one language and then *insist* on using it for everything, even when it makes absolutely zero sense.
"Ooh I'd like to do some microcontroller development. But I only know Java. How do you run Java on a microcontroller?"
"...You don't."
"...but I heard a talk where someone did it. Look, there's this microjava page. How do I use it?"
"It's an interesting technical demo, but that's it. Dude, just learn C. It's not hard, Java has C style syntax anyway and this way you can...."
"...but I only want to use modern programming languages. C is irrelevant these days, it's pointless me learning it."
"It's definitely still relevant if you want to program a microcontroller."
"...but I want to do that in Java."
🤦♂️15 -
So I found a bug in Bootstrap 4 today that was causing responsive tables to break. I looked at it for a while and threw a bunch of potential fixes at it, to no avail.
I was about to open a bug report when I stumbled upon the cause...
I spelled “table-responsive” wrong 🤦♂️5 -
I was building a personal website and my friend oversaw it. He said “that looks cool, can I help?” I agreed, why couldn’t he help? Ten minutes in I asked him if he liked our 404 page. He said “what’s the link to the 404 page?” 🤦♂️ He’s not on the team no more.3
-
"Almond, I thought you said the cause of the outage the other week was that our server crashed?"
"The Tomcat server crashed, yeah. Not the physical server." (And you won't give me the time or budget to spin up any kind of redundant one, but that's besides the point...)
"Ok, but I've spoken to ops and they say none of the servers have gone offline in the last month?"
"Yup, the physical server was fine, it was the Tomcat server running on it that crashed."
"...so the server didn't crash?"
"We're mixing terms here. There's two things that can be referred to as the server. One is the physical machine, and one is an application running on it. The physical machine was fine, but
the application running on it crashed."
"What?! It's a very simple question. Did the server crash, or didn't it?!"
🤦♂️13 -
Ok you fucks that don't believe in documentation - me included.
Document your shit, because one day, one day some dumb fuck is going to have to recreate your over engineered bullshit of a system and scale it up.
What would fucking be useful right now is ANY god forsaken insight into what in the flying fuck your code is doing, or not doing, or why it makes queries to a database with no fucking records in it 🤦♂️ and then attempts to use that data... in case it did exist.
There's nothing like unpicking a mess of bullshit, and documenting it, and then have to remake it on a new platform.
Documention saves lives kids, maybe your own life one day😬16 -
Code review:
- Almond: This method here is a mix of convoluted loops conditionals and ternaries... I really don't think we can pass this. Can we make sure this logic is a lot clearer?
- Bob: Oh, ok, sure. I'll work on that.
Next day:
- Bob: I've hopefully cleared up the meaning of that code now.
- Almond: Sure, let me look. Err... it looks the same to me? Have you done it in another branch?
- Bob: Oh no, it is the same, but there's a link in the code now to a PNG of a flowchart I put together in draw.io to show how it works.
...🤦♂️16 -
just wanted to watch a movie on a flight, then this happened 🤦♂️
Flight assistant: "oh no, not again. I will reboot it for you."
10 -
When you see a recruiting ad asking for experience in "vanilla.js", you know they have no idea what they're talking about 🤦♂️7
-
My elderly neighbor rang my doorbell the other day to ask what my wifi password was – his tablet was trying to auto-connect to my wifi network rather than his, and he didn't understand why he couldn't use the same password on both 😄🤦♂️2
-
Just spent like ten minutes searching why my api always returned false.
I forgot, that I am using Java and therefore cant compare strings using equal signs 🤦♂️23 -
Closes the devRant app just to open it again 🤦♂️🤦♂️
//Suddenly a thought hits - why the fuck did I closed it in first place?7 -
Started a new job.....
Requirements:
html
css.
jquery
bootstrap
First day:
BAM you have to work on angular🤦♂️7 -
Lead Dev: Just use jQuery, it'll save us from adding a whole new directive in Angular.
Me: 🤦♂️
Coworker: 🤦♀️10 -
a friend just asked for good games that are ftp
i said why does the way you download a game matter. 🤦♂️7 -
Gotta love well meaning juniors with completely misplaced intentions.
Nathan: "Hey, do you want a quick 5 minute demo of the code we've changed to move to library version x?"
Almond: "Sure (I wasn't that fussed about moving to library x, but he seemed determined and there's some nice to haves with bumping the version, so we approved it.)"
Nathan: "Cool, so we have this built here, and..."
Almond: "...wait, that's not our CI system!"
Nathan: "Yeah, so I moved to a new CI system too because we couldn't get that working in the old one"
Almond: "...right, we'll need to discuss that, because..."
Nathan: "Sure, we also moved the templating engine as well as there were more examples using this one with library x"
Almond: "...yeah, so I don't think we're looking to switch the templating engine because..."
Nathan: "...and you guys also need to change a bunch of your code as it's all broken since we put the new version in, most of the tests fail..."
Great... so we've got a branch that breaks a bunch of code, switches the templating engine to one we don't want to use, and switches the CI to the one the company is trying to actively migrate away from...
Almond: "We're going to need longer than 5 minutes. I'll put something in the calendar."
🤦♂️😬😠8 -
Finally bought NieR from Steam with 50% off.
But the game crushes at start due to visual C++ redistributable issues.
Fucken DLL hell...
I start write js instead 🤦♂️
27 -
- I'm trying to connect to the server at your location. What's the IP address?
- You can just write localhost there.
- 🤦♂️14 -
Potential Client Project:
"HIPAA compliant WordPress website"
Me: Can you tell me more about the website you're trying to publish?
Client: Site for uploading patient medical test results
Me: 🤦♂️ Fuuuuuuck. Sorry, you're on your own.
WORDPRESS?!?!8 -
My boss, who can't code, just gave me a bug to fix and said should be a quick fix...
It might be, but since you can't code, maybe don't assume
🤦♂️5 -
JuniorDev: <<moves bug ticket to 'done'>>
FullStackClown: Ah nice, let's see what they've written here as to what the problem was <<reads comment in ticket>>
JuniorDev's Comment: "👍"
FullStackClown: 🤦♂️16 -
Got called up today by my org's cyber security team.
Reason: Installed a font called "Hack" (https://github.com/source-foundry/...)
🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️1 -
🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤦♂️🤬🤦♂️🤬🤦♂️
Was watching Linux videos on YT (got bored) when a 🤬 Udemy (you know what, I’m blocking them right now) ad popped up and it was on how to learn... LINUX!!! This is a total scam!!!! 🤬🤬
15 -
When you set an alias for vi and completely forget about it
# alias vi=nano
God damn, I was so confused for a minute 🤦♂️15 -
That moment you realise you’re on holidays and you’re still fucking working 🤦♂️
I think I need a raise for this shit,6 -
In approximately 9 hours I'm probably going to humiliate myself in a meeting
I was given 5 days to write a sh script.
And guess what..
I still have not started
FML...🤦♂️7 -
I literally just cleared 150Gb from my laptop by deleting the node_modules folders, of projects I'm currently not working on 🤦♂️10
-
There was a variable named 'isVisible'
Wanted to make it visible
I typed in 'yeah' as a keyword instead of 'true'
🤦♂️6 -
I was going through random old files of mine and ran an old prank script that made my screen black and played the clicking sound a fucked hardisk makes.
My heart fell out my asshole and I rebooted before I remembered I have a solid state. FML. 🤦♂️4 -
Snippet of an overheard conversation today:
"LOL maths beyond basic arithmetic is so dumb. No-one needs pythagoras, trig, calculus or any of that crap unless they have some unholy desire to find the geometric properties of their sandwich."
"What do you want to do when you leave school then?"
"Something to do with AI. That stuff is really cool."
🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️8 -
Things that give me chills early in the morning. A password reset email that contains my password in plain text.
Seriously! 🤦♂️
1 -
"Update on the last meeting, we'll either release what we've got or do something different"
WELL NO SHIT! 🤦♂️5 -
Support elevates a ticket.
Ticket: customer is getting a weird error uploading photo.
Can’t recreate. Tell support to call them back. I’ll sit in on the call.
Watch the process. Noting extraordinary...
Hmm.
Me: can you get the customer to open the pic in photo viewer?
Support asks as much.
Support: uh, he says he gets a similar error opening this photo in the photo viewer.
Me: 🤦♂️ that is a corrupt file! -
My god, the managers don't even know their credentials to the Bitbucket account that THEY created!!!
🤦♂️🤡🤦♂️🤡🤦♂️🤡🤦♂️🤡🤦♂️🤡🤦♂️🤡🤦♂️🤡
Let's just hope they're not locked out for good... now THAT would be some grade-A comedy!1 -
Mint can't find correct driver for Intel NUC.
The download page for linux Intel graphic driver update tool project was closed.
Asked what's happened on Ubuntu stack exchange, got immediately closed, because of off topic: mint is not Ubuntu...🤦♂️
My solution is to uninstall mint, and install Ubuntu...
Still the same driver issue, but at least I could ask...
God damn it.
25 -
I just got asked by a colleague why do I use different levels of a logger. He said he's been writing code for 10+ years and never needed anything other than Logger.debug() 🤦♂️
Where the fuck these guys get their degrees? 😒22 -
Well, the system is offline, links are broken and users are complaining! Developer, what did you do?
After some digging around the designer made a "simple change" to a csv file, add a column to include the image file name of each item...
I mean, it just shifted ALL THE COLUMNS in a csv file but what could go wrong? 🤦♂️2 -
The year is 2088, and I still haven’t figured out whether to bill per hour or project.
Help...
Please...
No?
Okay 👌9 -
My security knowledge is so bad. But I don't know where should I start.😖
My coworkers know about this, so I don't get involved on related topics.🤤
Last time I asked same question, someone gave me link, and it all about DIY welding metal tubes into a security door.🤦♂️
Any better suggestion?13 -
long time ago....
Feature request: We want an android backup solution in Our app!
UI guy has already developed it, you just need to see if his solution is solid!
Ok then - lets look at the UI: Nice progress bars, that turn into green checkmarks. Looks good.
Now lets look at the code: ... Ok. loading some files into memory.... and... dafuq? does not write to a file?
Backup to RAM. With no restore. 🤦♂️.3 -
So... Manager pulls us in. Meeting in 10 minutes guys. I know it's unplanned, but it's important.
Not only is it the 10th time he's interrupted my workflow, but it's almost time to go home. And I was getting some important shit done.
Anyways, come the meeting: we are going to abandon all the work we've done on our microservice platform (2yrs+ in the making) and make it a monolith. Oh, and we have to do it in 4 weeks, because a client is asking for it. Oh, and you'll probably have to do overtime.
🤦♂️ FML5 -
Wow i must have been brain dead when i wrote this code. Needed to exclude certain elements from response for the the list of objects.
for (obj : objects) {
If (obj.skipFromResponse()) {
break
}
add obj to response
}
I used break instead of continue at the if condition which meant it would break out of the loop at the first instance of condition being met.
This went through qa and has been in production for 4 weeks so how did this not break before. Well little did i know the list of objects was sorted and all the test data, qa data and everything so far in production coincidentally only had the last element with matching condition. This meant it returned everything correctly so far.
Today was the first time there was a situation where this caused incorrect output. Luckily as soon as I heard the description of the issue I remembered to check the merged PR and hung my head in shame for making such trivial error. I must have written way more complicated code without any problem but this made me embarrassed to even admit. 🤦♂️4 -
"Why do you use open source software? Anyone can open the code and tinker with it."
- A Software Engineering grad.
🤦♂️9 -
Urgh, fucking excel!
Why the fuck can't you handle a few thousand calculations you dumb ass piece of shit.
I am this close to... fuck, it crashed. 🤦♂️
I fucking give up.
Time to strap this data to a DB instead.7 -
MS Teams sending an email to inform me about people which "are trying to reach me", one hour after I already talked with those people via Teams chat.
🤦♂️13 -
so another java!=javascript rant…
so an inexperienced friend of mine was having a conversation with me, and he was using the words java and javascript synonymously (meaning he thought they were the same thing).
so, i corrected him.
“you know javascript isn’t the same as java though.”
“oh, it’s not? ok then.”
and we went about our day.
three days later he was talking to me again, and we were talking about new web backends, and, as you might have guessed, golang came up.
he then said “i was talking with a noob to programming, and he thought go and golang were the same. i sure told him!”
🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️6 -
The IT guy at client made a spaghetti code website to replace their time entry software. I come in to “finish it up in a week to two” (just me). I start by removing 1200+ lines of convoluted data access code that doesn’t work, SQL injection prone too. I quickly gave up and started from scratch; just copyied some of his actually decent HTML.
Friday, he proceeded to try to install node on the server and run main.JS. Now he’s all concerned my repo is too complex because he can’t deploy a static website 🙁
He didn’t ask me how it gets deployed nor did he listen when I said “node is NOT THE BACKEND we have .NET core for that”.🤦♂️
I’m gonna spend a week writing documentation at 5th grade level and hand holding him so he understands how this code works because he’s going to be the one maintaining it.1 -
This week I got instructed to write a script that downloads an Excel sheet (which is used as a product database with >20000 products and lots of macros) from Dropbox, and parses it. In PHP. 🤦♂️7
-
Followed lectures from Udemy, build a burger 🍔 with div again!
The entire course build burger multiple times with 400+ videos... 🤦♂️
Is it really a thing? No matter what frontend framework you pick, you got build a burger with it 🤤6 -
So today, again, I discovered the importance of unitests.
I was solving this performance issue, in which we had a few update actions for multiple entities in mongo, but it took FOREVER to complete, even when I unified it into one bulkWrite command.
Since the unified write did improve performance slightly, and we wanted to move on, we decided to let this bug go.
So there I was committing my changes when I got a rejection from the pre-commit hook since I didn't have enough unitests coverage.
Ok, let's start writing some unitests.
Some unitests also needed to test the bulk write. So there I was comparing expected with actual result, and suddenly I got a huge facepalm.
Apparently some rogue for loop iterated all entities again for each entity that needed update. So instead of getting one update per entity, I got N identical update commands per each of the N entities 🤦♂️
Needless to say, fixing this fixed the performance bug entirely.
Thank you unitests and pre-commit hooks!2 -
Fuck I hate bloated app permissions but I guess todo lists that know who you most likely to chat to when taking a dump is what we get for demanding everything for free. I get why Snapchat wants so much, I just find it fucking ironic that this is from a company that founded itself on the concept of privacy 🤦♂️
7 -
Found this little gem in the AMD64 reference manual:
"When PCIDs are enabled the system software can store 12-bit PCIDs in CR3 for different address spaces. Subsequently, when system software switches address spaces (**by writing the page table base pointer in CR3[62:12]**), the processor **may use TLB mappings previously stored for that address space and PCID**".
later:
"Updates to the CR3 register cause the entire TLB to be invalidated except for global pages."
So let me get this straight: PCIDs allow you to reuse TLB entries (instead of flushing the entire TLB) when writing a new address space to CR3 but writing to CR3 always flushes the entire TLB anyways
Just why 🤦♂️7 -
Me: this App is not working ...
... Few minutes later ...
Me: Can someone help me?
Coworker approaches : Are you trying to modify the bundle.js file?
Me: ...
Coworker tells the whole team and they start laughing at me 🤦♂️9 -
Aus Gov: here's a bright idea, let's enforce social media accounts being verified with enough identification to pull of identify theft with ease for the greater good.
https://news.com.au/technology/...
Facebook: 533 million accounts leaked with names, email, phone, address details.
https://mobile.twitter.com/UnderThe...
Me: 🤦♂️12 -
Looked up "mounting children" while researching into React, not realizing other implications...🤦♂️ Waiting for the feds to show up at my door any moment now to take me away. 😳7
-
In my day off I was eager to try overclocking in my pc and this is how it went:
- Fucked up overclocking parameters for cpu and ram speed.
- BIOS is broken, had to take out gpu to do a reset taking out the bios battery.
- BIOS is up again, default values loaded, bla bla
- Did not try to fuck off anymoar with overclocking, just kept playing star wars and went to sleep safe and sound like a baby.
- Gotta work now. docker does not start, closes itself after tried to start, docker panic, I panic, tried to uninstall, tried to update. nothing works
- Then I remember bios default values leaves virtualization off. enables it again, docker still not working. I panic again, restarted pc like 10 times between disabling/enabling hyper-v in windows.
- Docker dies. not gonna change my overclock options again. silly me 🤦♂️9 -
This begs for a rant... [too bad I can't post actual screenshots :/ ]
Me: He k8s team! We're having trouble with our k8s cluster. After scaling up and running h/c and Sanity tests environment was confirmed as Healthy and Stable. But once we'd started our load tests k8s cluster went out for a walk: most of the replicas got stoped and restarted and I cannot find in events' log WHY that happened. Could you please have a look?
k8s team [india]: Hello, thank you for reaching out to k8s support. We will check and let you know.
Me: Oh, you're welcome! I'll be just sitting here quietly and eagerly waiting for your reply. TIA! :slightly_smiling_face:
<5 minutes later>
k8s team India: Hi. Could you give me a list of replicas that were failing?
Me: I gave you a Grafana link with a timeframe filter. Look there -- almost all apps show instability at k8s layer. For instance APP_1 and APP_2 were OK. But APP_3, APP_4 and APP_5 were crashing all over the place
k8s team India: ok I will check.
<My shift has ended. k8s team works in different timezone. I've opened up Slack this morning>
k8s team India: HI. APP_1 and APP_2 are fine. I don't even see any errors from logs, no restarts. All response codes are 200.
Me: 🤦♂️ .... Man, isn't that what I've said? ... 🤦♂️5 -
Working in a tech company as a project manager, the CEO asked me: a client requested to code the frontend with something call active java, are you familiar with it?
Me: well, it must be a new tech.."searched online..", no results found.
After calling the client, he was asking about React native.🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️ -
Soooo it's Monday........ 🤯
@C0D4 started the day fixing current projects defects (4 tickets smashed before coffee 💪)
Then after coffee, run a test coverage report and see a significant decline over the past few months, so spends a couple hours adding more tests to get some areas filled in - meh, nothing like 50+ lines per test... to test a if() statement but whatever - complex scenarios will be complex to get too, but no my tests break and I'm missing data I didn't know about🤦♂️
So let's comment all that out, and go to lunch ... mmmm lunch.
Get back, start working on those again, and then get handed a new issue, so comment that all back out again, ( ok I know what you're thinking, but I'm working in an environment that does not use git for deployments - don't ask, real pain in the ass I haven't had time to invest into yet - but as code versioning only) anywho, starts to workout this new issue but don't figure it out, enter a 30 minute meeting.................. yea that was 2 hours later but was a very practical whiteboard session only to work out I have something like 16-20 weeks of work over 4-5 projects to get out in like 6 weeks... hahahahahahaha fml..... oh and that's excluding another project which had a 6 weeks of work in the pipeline to get to somehow.... I'm not seeing this one happening, and probably conflicting projects needed on top of that down the track... but we'll leave those out for now!
Whoot is fucking home time!!!
🤷♂️I'm starting to think I'm like a team of 5-10 devs right now, maybe I should start asking for 5-10x more 😏
#letsBringOnTuesday!!!!4 -
So i have been working with a so called python expert my manager on a project.
He has 3 years of more experience in python than me.
The best thing is he shows up everyday with random post from stackoverflow to fix our bugs everyday.
And if the code is in python2 he says that only difference is just put () around print and it will work
🤦♂️
He earns thrice as much i do3 -
Headhunter: what is your motivation to work here
Me: you contacted me about this role
Headhunter: *sigh*
Me: 🤦♂️🤷♂️4 -
Just overheard a conversation between 2 pilots while waiting to board a flight at an airport about some airplane related software. The guy talking seemed very proud (read egotistical) about his tech knowledge. It went something like... "Well you see it's open source so they are worried someone might have put a backdoor in it somewhere".
That's the point of open source you dumbass you actually have the ability to check 🤦♂️ -
Business: We want this exactly like [insert competitor’s web product].
Me: Oh, so like [this major obvious feature]?
Business: Oh no! Not that! Everything else but that!… You have everything you need right?
Me: …🤦♂️1 -
if ( condition ) {
callback(data)
}
callback(error)
--is a lot different than--
if ( condition ) {
callback(data)
} else {
callback(error)
}
callbacks are not return statements 🤦♂️9 -
I got 2 phone calls from AWS, asking me for feedback about a conference I've never attended. 🤦♂️
👍 For AWS customer service6 -
I've just realized the very root cause of the frustration of devs everywhere!
It has everything to do with the manager's thought process:
Manager: HUR DUR, ME NO UNDERSTAND SOMETHING!!! MUST BE WRONG!!! ME CREATE BUG TICKET!!!
Dev: 🤦♂️ ...sigh...4 -
Customer: I want the test-results. Format doesn't matter.
*sending xml report-files and screenshot of pipeline tooling report*
Customer: the files are hard to read. can you make html?
*creating html output and sending a screenshot of browser*
Customer: Thx for the screenshot. Ill take it.
🤦♂️2 -
As usual, Friday is boring day. I made a React component to show an exclamation mark base on absolute value from a list. Took me 15 mins. The rest of 1 hour we discussed where and what color should I use. 🤦♂️ Someone nearly flip the table...2
-
In my software development class today, the teacher asked us what a double equal sign means, and I swear to god, a student said “it double equals that value” 🤦♂️4
-
-I'm gonna learn C for real
-I'm gonna configure Vim
-I'm gonna try November
-Emacs with Evil mode is a better Vim
-I'm gonna learn eLisp
-I'm gonna learn functional programming
-Gonna use clojure for everything now!
-init.el is 400 lines long
int main() {printf("Hello World!");}
Success! 🤦♂️1 -
Zebra tc51 with a price tag of 1299.99usd. No power supply, no cable, 720p screen, snapdragon 650 soc. This is the RED camera in android 🤦♂️
12 -
So I just had my another CUTSOM (code-until-the-start-of-meeting) practice. 🤷
Proud of myself for pulling it off when yesterday was a day of OS reinstallation-fuckartory and a night of stormy-no-power. 🕺
And at the same time, hating at myself. 🤦♂️3 -
I just auto charged myself because I forgot I tested my 7 day trial in production last week
🤦♂️🤡🤦♂️🤡🤦♂️🤡🤦♂️🤡🤦♂️🤡🤦♂️🤡🤦♂️🤡🤦♂️🤡🤦♂️🤡🤦♂️🤡🤦♂️🤡🤦♂️🤡🤦♂️🤡🤦♂️🤡🤦♂️🤡🤦♂️🤡🤦♂️🤡🤦♂️🤡🤦♂️🤡🤦♂️🤡🤦♂️🤡🤦♂️🤡3 -
When backend developers do front end work 🤦♂️. Everything looks like shit, and so many bugs oh my god.10
-
I almost got caught by this during an interview:
const foo = ['a', 'b'];
const bar = foo.findIndex(x => x === 'a'); // 0
if (bar) { // I'm an idiot
console.log('Do something');
}
🤦♂️23 -
Trying to answer a React mapping problem on stackoverflow.
It's a relatively simple problem.
While I'm typing... all sorts of wrong answers keep popping out.
Oh geez.
People are hungry for reputation
In the end, I removed my solution, and leave the answer in the comment. This is not my fight 🤦♂️6 -
Damn it! today I learnt that GitHub has a tool called Hub - "an extension to command-line git that helps you do everyday GitHub tasks without ever leaving the terminal".
It's been around for 10 years.
And here I was clicking on the link that was sent by the remote after every push to open a pull request 🤦♂️
It even comes with vim syntax support for pull requests.
I'm never leaving the terminal to do things on the GitHub web interface anymore1 -
My friend recently tried to install apt on fedora 🤦♂️
Some how this created a zombie process And used a ton of the ram and the ram usage leaked out of the VM and into the host server
And I had to explain to him why a package manager meant for a system with dpkg will not work on one that uses rpm12 -
Just wasted 2 hours of my life because turns out the C calling convention is really not standardized and depends on the target platform
Wouldn't advise doing cross boundry efiabi->sysv64 calls 🤦♂️5 -
Started cursing Salesforce and everything in the damn ecosystem to realise 2 hours later that I haven’t updated static constants 🤦♂️5
-
Like Ads on digital world werent enough, now there will be billboards in space too. 🤦♂️
(SpaceX Launching Satellite to Display Billboard Ads in Space)
https://futurism.com/spacex-billboa...20 -
Forgot to change code in my api for rate limiting, after development. No unit tests.. because who really needs that right? 🤦♂️🙅♂️🤷♂️lolololol
Long story short, API went to production eventually, and stopped working almost immediately. Rate limiting was set for 2000 requests in a 1 hour time period. Not my finest moment.. fml 🤦♂️ -
Designer makes an app Mockup using an iOS template. I make the android version and the ios dev makes his version.
Upon completion, the client rejects mine saying that I forgot to put back buttons in the top left corner of each screen.
My face when he didn't reject the ios version for not having a hardware back button. 🤦♂️ -
When scammers want to follow GDPR regulations - the worst SCAM ever 🤦♂️
Long story:
I have just received a SMS message, informing me that my phone number is in several marketing databases. It also had a link to the website called stop-sms.pl, where you're supposed to be able to unsubscribe from those lists. At this moment I felt a little bit confused - the SMS seemed suspicious, but on the other hand who doesn't want to get rid of all this SMS crap. So I carefully followed the link to see the website with a form to fill with personal data - phone number included 😆 If that is not enough to realize that this is just a lame scam website, just below the input where you enter the phone number there are Terms and Conditions where it directly states that: "By filling the form you agree that your personal data (name, email, phone number) will be used for marketing purposes." - WTF?!
Who the f... gets fooled by such crap?! 😂😂😂2 -
We are currently under 21 days quarantine and today I realized that my day to day life style hasn't changed at all. Except that now I am working from home...
I really need to start socializing more and possibly get a hobby or something like that... 🤦♂️8 -
Talking to a second year student about what they've learnt so far, and what they should learn next:
"Cool, so what general topics would you say you know really thoroughly at the moment?"
"Oh, I've now learnt Java, C#, C, C++, Rust, Javascript, node.js, HTML, CSS, Angular, Vue, Erlang and probably a bunch of other stuff I've forgotten. What do you think I should concentrate on next?"
"Hmm. Probably best to take just one of those and learn it really thoroughly."
"...but I already know them all really thoroughly."
"Ok. Can you explain what an abstract class is in say Java, C# or C++?"
"Sure, I can create a new class called abstract and then use it for abstraction. I do that loads."
...🤷♂️🤦♂️
First lesson: Stop BS'ing. Might work for flexing to non-devs, but that's about it.10 -
Just spent the *entire* afternoon trying to figure out why the hell my code runs fine locally, but doesn't when our CI server builds & deploys it on AWS.
...and I've now, finally, figured out it was all because I forgot to check a damn file into Git 🤦♂️
I'm simultaneously relieved, annoyed & embarassed.5 -
Yay, now I know what that windows update was about... oh no, this isn't another "fuck windows, update broke shit again" post.
This is a "wtf, you dodgey shit bags" kind of post, "you" managed to install Skype, install this stupid ducking "meet now" service - which is fucking hidden (anyone have any pointers? Google's not doing its job yet), and now I have to uninstall office completely to remove Skype 🤦♂️
Why won't you fuckers let it go, didn't we ALL move to teams recently?5 -
When you're pulling your hair out trying to debug a problem a user's been having on a beta site and you realize they're on the wrong site 🤦♂️ 😭💥🔫
-
Not only is the documentation only in Chinese, but also the labels used in the components are. 🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️
Oh well time to get my hands dirty.3 -
When you give your team and the client a month+ to test the app and get no feedback, then all of a sudden once it's live in the app store you get an email filled with bug reports....
Were you guys not testing it at all?!
😡🤦♂️1 -
Some fuckin ppl man wtf, as a said here before I'm not the most skilled or elegant developer at my company but fuck me am not as dumb as some fuckin cunts
We have 2 separate packages dedicated to add reusable components but some asshole with shit for brains just keeps adding these components in one of the main repos and it's like r u retarded or something, like u know that's not what's meant to happen cause you've used the components from those other repos. Sometime I jus wanna die and I've only been working as a dev for about 2 yrs 🤦♂️3 -
There’s no such thing as quiet quitting. If working accordingly to the pay cheque and job description is called quiet quitting, why not calling
- every jobs are “quiet slaveries” .
- every banks charges are “quiet robberies”.
- every food I ate are “quiet shitting.”
- every gym rats are “quiet dieting.”
See? This doesn’t make any sense. Companies these days ….🤦♂️8 -
Features of any software product development: there is a catastrophic lack of time to get rid of bugs, but always enough time to make them even more. 🤦♂️
-
Ah, another day, another regression found in a major library
guess i work for all these companies as a volunteer
🤦♂️
good thing i'm no where near their 6 figure salaries either.
maybe i should get that 6 figure salary and then eat more salads and steaks at the free food court, type more shitty code on couches, and play more foosball during my approximate 4 hour work day to acheive their software levels
if only i was so good2 -
Heard that this morning.
Someone trying to teach somebody programming: you’ll see, programming is easy. We’ll start slow, I won’t teach how to code in c++, java or linux...
🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️
How do you want to teach him programming if YOU THINK LINUX IS A PROGRAMMING LANGUAGE!!!!!!!!!!3 -
Had a bad day at work :( They gave me this code for some obscure streaming job and asked me to complete it. Only after 3 days did I realize that the LLD given to me was incorrect as the data model was updated. Another 2 more days, I was able to debug the code and run it successfully— I was able to parse the tables and generate the required frame but not able to stream it back to the output topic as per the LLD. That’s where I needed help but none of my emails/messages were replied to. The main guy who is pretty technical scheduled a code review session with me— I expected that I would run the code and he would spot it something I might’ve missed and why my streaming function isn’t working. Instead, what happened was that he grilled me on each and every line of the code (which had some obscure tables queried) and then got super mad at me saying “Why are we having this code review session if your code is not complete?”. I’m like bruh, you asked for it, and yes, the main parsing logic is done and I’m just having this issue in the last part. And he’s like “Why didn’t you tell me earlier?”. Wtf?! I left at least 5 emails and a dozen messages. He’s like this has to go live on Monday, and I’m like Ok, I’ll work in the weekend. And he’s like “Don’t tell me all these things! You’re not doing me a favor by working on weekends! How am I to ask my colleagues to connect with you separately on Saturday/Sunday? You should have done the on the weekdays itself. What were you doing this whole week?”. Bruh, I was running the code multiple times and debugging it using print statements. All while you were ignoring my attempts to reach out to you. SMH 🤦♂️ I can go on and on about this whole saga.4
-
You could win free Premium!
But you can't even complete the survey.
Well played! Spotify!
Every time when you're facing depression, and doubt yourself. Just think about there are companies much bigger than yours, and they struggling to put a form together... 🤦♂️
5 -
So my IT teacher wrote his own web server framework for NodeJS and he forces us to use it for assignments. Would be fine if:
1. It worked properly.
2. It had any kind of documentation.
3. He knew how it worked.
But no, we have to debug his shit and edit the js files in node_modules to get shit working.
Is he open to suggestions? Not really. If you have a fix, you have to create a gitlab account and send a pr. Even if you tell him what exactly is wrong. He won't do anything about it.
Why use express when we can learn something we'll never use again?
At this point I think we're using it only so that he gets downloads on npm.
Oh ya, he also copies package.json from project to project instead of creating a new one with up to date dependencies.
🙃2 -
Work on a product to categorize text… previous guy implemented an NLP solution that took 20 per body of text (500 words or so) in a $400/mo AWS instance, was about 80% accurate and needed “more data for training” 🤦♂️
I thought (and still think) that for some use cases AI is straight up snake oil. Decided instead to make an implementation with a word list and a bunch of if statements in Go… no performance considerations, loops within loops reading every single word… I just wanted to see if it worked and maybe later I could write it more optimized in Rust or something…
first time I ran it it took so little that I thought it had a bug… threw more of the test data we had for the NLP, 94% accuracy, 50 flipping milliseconds per body of text in a $5/mo AWS instance!!!
Now, that felt good!!
(The other guy… errr… left, that code is still the core of product of the company I built it for, I got bored and moved to another company :)3 -
Most useless feature?
Any this business seems to think is the next great way to make their lives easier - by adding 500 more steps into an already complex series of cowboy processes.
I love and hate my job some days 🤦♂️1 -
Company uses Trello to track bugs and features the devs are doing.
End of the week the PM: "So what bugs and features did you work on this week?"
If only there was a platform that we could track all these things... 🤦♂️1 -
Everyone think google is trolling Apple’s notch. But as a software giant, google is tripped over css with its own material design🤦♂️
11 -
Its amazing how many people call themselves programmers yet cannot figure out the usefulness of print/log statements. 🤦♂️
-
So today a Windows sysadmin told me the Registry is a part of Windows he "doesn't know so well" 😂 and the worst part is the faith of about 1000 users lies in his hands 🤦♂️8
-
Oh gosh, if you like building stuff, how do you find a job that is actually building stuff instead of dealing with software complexity bs, bureaucracy, red tape, processes to justify other people’s jobs… 🤦♂️8
-
So... My boss is "hard working", meaning that she'd rather edit and upload a html file every morning at 5am for the last 5 years and manually send a push notification notifying the user that the new file is up than learning a little bit about automation (cron? IFTTT?) and even after letting her know about those options she has "no time"
She'd rather keep source code (pug, sass), manually build on local computer and upload to live servers instead of learning git and letting me setup once and for all CI/CD
SERIOUSLY!?!? NO TIME!?!? But there's time to do things at a turtle pace like in the 90s... 🤦♂️5 -
Callum, not everything is a "useless fad" just because you don't like it. I understand that you think AWS lambda functions are "just an expensive con for morons", but for our batch processing use case they really do make a lot of sense.
Running some numbers to show they cost 10x more for a completely unrelated always-on service with a completely different request pattern is either naive, stupid, or malicious, and considering you're meant to be a principle architect, I'm really not sure what's worse 🤦♂️2 -
Still boggles my mind that it took something like coronavirus for people to start covering their mouth when sneezing / coughing, washing hands and let's not even mention public places like shopping malls and stores to start with regular disinfection of their premises.. 🙄🤦♂️8
-
I have such a nasty pride habit with programming. Think I’m soo top boy international until I discover something everyone else knows, like RSS this week 🤦♂️10
-
Recently I keep watching videos about these beasts.
The shipping cost is absolutely bananas🤦♂️
But I really want to get one in Mac layout.
Should I pull the trigger?
7 -
the CEO is trying to release a product that has had a total of 1 test user, himself!! 🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️
Any ideas to convince him to do something like a slow launch instead of sinking a bunch of money on marketing!?!?
(I'm pretty sure dilbert or xkcd should have something related...)5 -
Why use an Accept header when you can do this, right?
randomapi.com/random/resource/json
randomapi.com/random/resource/xml
🤦♂️
I'm already feeling it, I'm gonna have a great time with this API15 -
Designer: hey, can you add this thing
Me: Sure, but that's probably a day's worth of work
Designer: oh, I thought it was just a line of code
Me: 😑😡🤦♂️ -
My car overheated and got towed on Monday. Now, I’m constantly searching for water cooling aio for my computer. 🤦♂️2
-
My friend is talking to someone else in the computer lab about a project we're working on for class, and they are telling him that we can't build our app in Java because it can only be used for android and web apps 🤦♂️
-
First year of college. We had to write a program in assembly to let lights go on and off slowly but I couldn't get it to work and googled the shit out of it trying to get it to work to no avail. So I go to the teacher as I expected him to have a bit more documentation/knowledge on how the shit worked. He literally said oh let me google that for you. Which made me go 🤦♂️. In the end I never figured out how to get the lights on or off but luckily my team mates did a good enough job to get us passed in the class.4
-
Never! Deploy! To production! On Thursday! *banging my head against the wall*
Now I need to revert some things manually on production ON MY DAY OFF 🤦♂️🤦♂️8 -
Me: we are running in circles going nowhere 🤬
Manager: ok, from tomorrow let's try walking backwards triangles maybe that works better
Me: 🤦♂️🤷♂️3 -
I was designing and building a portfolio page for a photographer. He mostly does black & white portraits with either a white or black background so I had the idea of splitting the page into a light and dark side (Star Wars joke definitely intentional).
I worked waaay too long on a *diagonal* CSS wipe animation when the user switches sides and I was quite proud of it.
Half a year later we realize that basically no one has noticed the switch button. Analytics confirmed it was less than 4% of visitors. 🤦♂️3 -
So yesterday there was suppose to be a test of the AlertReady Canadian program. Didn’t work in Quebec.
Reason: a trailing space
🤦♂️ -
When McDonald's janitors are writing code...
Dev1: *creates a MR*
Code: for each HTTP request do
// stuff
Executors.newFixedThreadPool(validators.size()); // effectively meaning will start 7 new threads for each incoming request
// other stuff
Dev2: ^^ ??? Fix that shit. This will cause performance problems.
Dev1: *updates the code*
Code:
// stuff
int THREAD_NUMBER = 10;
Executors.newFixedThreadPool(THREAD_NUMBER);
// other stuff
Everyone: 🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️
Can I BE facepalming any more?4 -
Unemployment week one.
Tired of unsuccessful HR and engineering talks with people who don’t know what they want.
When you answer their questions they got pissed because they had something else in mind. Sorry I don’t read in people’s minds asshole.
Others try to be smart and give you some fancy acronyms. Yeah because that’s most important in coding - to memorize useless acronyms.
I responded with acronyms I know and they got pissed more cause my are more funny and cover all of theirs. Thanks KISS 💋
Some of them are like I am fucking smartest asshole on this video chat and you can’t have been working with all of those technologies, yeah I just typed hello world for 15 years in one language and stupid /REST shitty software like you do it in your one job in your lifetime.
Others are asking for cv, talking about this fancy great project that in fact you know how it will look like cause you’re experienced motherfucker who can pick up nuisance but still lets get hired first and then think what to do next with this shitty crap. So they respond after two weeks that client changed their mind and if you want to fill some quiz about your hiring process.
There are also ones that got impressed so much they’re talking 1 hour that you will be our next cto and then ending process with email that there were better candidates and also post same offer on job board next day 🤦♂️
I think I just skip this shitty nightmare and concentrate on some personal project until I spend all my savings.
I just need to concentrate on one thing and not get distracted with 1000s of voices shouting “pick me” in my head.
Fuuuuuuck
If you got offended fuck you unless you like it.
After working in one project in a big happy days bubble without distraction for couple of years I underestimated how fucked up people are in real world.
We’re making hell by ourselves on this planet we don’t need much help.3 -
Without data to support a feature...
How do you think we will be able to develop such feature??? For fucks sake 🤦♂️😂4 -
Oh, my worst dev experience.
First of all everyone know it, people who ask you to repair there computer 🤦♂️
Or people who say: "Hey Windows Media player is not working now. Fix it"
But the best moment and worst too is a moment where I present my new website and a friend start to refresh the site with F5 on his browser. I ask him why he do it and he answere "Yeah, you will be rich when I do it"
I don't get it. Why rich? So I ask him and he answere that websites are paid by web request an "clicks" "views" counter.
That was the stupidest thing I ever hear. Okay when I would show ads than maybe it's "true" but without them🤦♂️
But that's not the end after I explained him that it's not so he fucked me up that I would be very stupid because I don't register on a service which pay you for it. I explained him that the only service could be an ad service but no he don't understand it and try to discuss with me that a service like this exist. I ask for a link to the service and he could not answer.
For me it was the worst experience because for me it was the most stupidest thing ever and he try to discuss with me and really we discuss 1 hour about it🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️1 -
Sometimes I want to go against my ethics principle and just use my skills to create a PONZI website or a scam site. I am a full stack developer, I can create one within two months.
However the financial strain I am having, I just want to so good 🤦♂️2 -
Working on a very simple report in C# with DexExtreme.
Got rejected by boss for more than 5 times.
😢
"We don't use comma, the line looks like doubled, the title isn't right, one field is missing..."
Feel so depressed 🤦♂️
I don't even write C# normally1 -
Being the only developer in your circle of non-tech friends is weird 😕.
And why are most female programmers not appealing 🤦♂️.
The beautiful ones are usually clueless and can't get into a ”deep programming concept ”conversation.
I guess I can't eat my cake and have it at a time.18 -
Wrote some unit tests to check for 404 errors that called a fake endpoint key...
Months later create that same endpoint key for unrelated reasons and spend a half hour trying to figure out WHY ON EARTH the 404 tests are all failing...
🤦♂️1 -
I have 10 days off remaining for this year... Basically 2 effective weeks...
What should I do:
A) 2 week holiday
B) 2 x single week
C) carryover to 2021 for maybe real holiday
D) a day for each week
Choose wisely 😆 It's my effin holiday 🤦♂️7 -
Got anymore runtime exception handlers with that?
When a paid service that promises a million connection types can't even do an initial sync 🤦♂️. Back to bash scripting it is...
-
Sunday is Darling in the FranXX day!
TLDR:
To show my current favorite anime,
I tried to keep my home page clean and move all shortcuts to next page.
But if I removed all shortcuts, the page disappears 🤦♂️
God damnit Android!
17 -
My bash history today:
man column
🤦♂️ I suppose if the wife is curious about what I do all day, she’s likely not going to search my terminal history 😂4 -
return state = this.props.nextState
It got be a true AHole to constantly use something like this.
My eyes are bleeding 🤦♂️ -
Me: I should divide my project in small parts. It will be a piece of cake.
Also me: (on last day of submission) 76 commits in 34 minutes.
*Face Palm* 🤦♂️1 -
I've spent some days converting paddings on wrappers into margins for it's children, because our lead designer was a pure genius 🙋♂️🤦♂️1
-
Spent two hours trying to figure out why I couldn't get SSH agent forwarding working in Docker. Turns out I was never granted access to that other obscure GitHub organization we use. 🤦♂️1
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I just got a ticket asking me to pull a 'smart' report for a customer 🤦♂️
it scares me someone thinks this is an actual thing...4 -
The other day I was talking with a guy that's been in the company forever and he was explaining to me that when he joined they would write code with a pencil and deliver it to a pool of secretaries who would type it into these special machines to generate the actual code fed into the IBM machine.
We are so fucking spoiled 🤦♂️1 -
A day in the life of @C0D4
Yay it's Tuesday.....
So morning goes something like coffee, yea no coffee no @C0D4, get to the office, get busy with normal morning routine - run the almost automated scripts I have to run - delete the 100+ emails I don't actually need from last night, read the 2 I do care about - yea 2 freakin emails out of 117 🤦♂️
But what ever that's what outlook rules are for... except I actually have to glimpse over them all just in case something of mine broke.
Go get another coffee,
Start working through the days tickets - ok cool nothing major to worry about, let's get back to writing tests from yesterday.
Well fuck that was a bad decision, no matter what I do this little fucker won't pass, yet doing this process step by step, detail for detail, it works - no issues, but automate this fucker and it screams its head off.
So fine, I give up and go to lunch,
Come back... spend next 3 hours on this 1 problem... 1 FREAKING problem 🤦♂️🥴🤦♂️🥴🤦♂️
This thing has beaten me, and for no apparent reason - it just doesn't like running under a test scenario.
Would have given up hours ago, except its a vital piece of code I'm trying to cover 😑 of course it is.
Well somewhere in there I managed to do a deployment for another project and change a few things in there.
This week is starting to look like hell,
Yay hump day tomorrow!!!!!
That's something, the week is coming to an end.... right? Please.... right!!!5 -
ROFT: When you know the answer to someone's question on stack overflow but you don't have enough reputation to answer 🤦♂️4
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To fix a bug I added a few log messages to trace what gets executed and in what order (very new to the project). Fixed the bug, pushed PR and the only comment was to remove the log files. 🤦♂️🤦♂️
Please tell me this is normal or should I start looking for a new place that hires "only the best" 😭10 -
Got a nice solution, part of a micro-services system. Interfaces where they should be. Single responsibilities. Easily unit testable (and plenty of tests in there).
Then the Senior rewrites things because he didn’t see the point in having interfaces and couples every layer to a shared set of objects, and those objects are now shared by all the other micro-services too. One change in one and we have to repeat it in every service. 🤦♂️4 -
When one PM hands you off to another PM and neither has any idea about the project I am supposed to be working on...nor do I have access to the Trello boards, the repos, etc...
Happy Monday 🤦♂️ -
I take a look on Dart, which used by Flutter, a "React Native inspired" framework.
Very similar to Typescript and Java, so whatever you write, probably gonna work.
But I feel lack confidence on any language Google promoted. Eg kotlin and Go
🤦♂️
Google hired too many PhDs who have nothing to do, so they spend 1 day per week draw some doodles...
Hope this is not another weekend warrior project.🙄9 -
On stackoverflow, I saw a new user post a comment as an answer, probably just because they had not enough reputation to post a comment. Before I could finish a helpful comment about the situation, that post got downvoted -5 and deleted because the user considered his own abilities "shitty" which was considered an illegal swear word by stackoverflow. Stackoverflow is like the Sunday school of programming, oh my ️🤦♂️😠5
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Status: Got off hour+ long call with provider teir2 tech support because their "sync service" isn't syncing. "It's all cloud controlled" they tell me. Whatever.
It does have the ability to install a Windows service to do the needful! 🎉
However the program that does the actual syncing is the "launcher" application, and the service's only job is to tell the launcher to run. 🤦♂️
Their assumption is that there will be a user that gets smacked in the face with a UAC prompt when they first log in and just shrug it away. Which is the Launcher application.
The sync service is not capable of running the sync application without a desktop session I guess?
MOTHERTRUCKERS do you understand what the point of a Windows Service is?!?
I tried relating this situation to how Windows Update works: It will update whenever the fuck it wants without the user doing anything because of the Service, and you only configure the service with the Control Panel/Settings App. You don't need the Control Panel/Settings App running in order for Windows Update to work, but it's there for status info and configuration.
Anyways, this software does not do that. It apparently *requires* both the service AND the launcher program running in order to work. Not work properly, to work *at all*.
Anyways, It's installed on a computer that's not normally logged into, but is always on (where other "always needs to be running" programs live). Normally the hackaround would be to launch the program via Scheduled Task.
This program apparently does not want to run as a scheduled task, or the Task Scheduler is being stupid and can't figure out "Hey, it's time to run this program. Do it!". Naturally it runs if told manually.
The fact that I'm even doing this at all is stupid, but even more infuriating is that it's just not working unattended. You know, what the service should be doing. But no, the service runs happily all alone, doing nothing of note, while Task Scheduler sucks its stick running OneDrive installer but not the launcher program.
Pluckin' donuts...2 -
In South Park, Eric bought a bottle of double diet Mountain Dew. The double Mountain Dew contains double the sugar, and the diet contains half the sugar.
I just like Eric, bought ryzen 7 2700 for lower power rating, and then over clock it🤦♂️ -
Mandatory training ... Coarse introduction video crashes 20 secs before end, can only proceed with the coarse by finishing the introduction video ... 🤦♂️🙈🤷♂️
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PLEASE DON'T ENGAGE THE SPAMBOTS. Seriously, the number of obvious spam posts I see with (usually the same few) users underneath posting things like "No, fuck you and your sunglasses Kyle" or similar is 🤦♂️.
Guys, you're helping them. They feed off it, they note it as engagement, and they're more likely to continue posting. (Not just on devrant, but everywhere.) Just downvote / report as spam and move on.9 -
Velocity? You want to talk about velocity while it is you steerig us towards full speed reverse over and over again?
What's faster, armageddon or the apocalypse?
NOBODY FUCKING CARES MATE 🤦♂️3 -
Window 10 Bluetooth is garbage. Mouse lags like hell.🤦♂️
Same mouse works totally smooth on MacOS though.12 -
why cant google just index my fucking website?
its been two weeks and the last one I did took so little time
if you go to https://google.com/search/... it shows up, but not the most common query for the site https://google.com/search/...
smh🤦♂️3 -
You know morons are in control when they block you, and you can just browse in private mode to see all their shit & them backstabbing you after the fact...
Hero behind a keyboard 🤦♂️🤷♂️4 -
Is the Android Build process getting slower with every update or is it just me who is experiencing that...
In the newest Android Studio Beta it went from 3m to 7m 🤦♂️
And my whole computer is blocked and not usable while compiling7 -
Had a discussion with a fellow coworker about users experience.
This guy actually trying to convince me that the backend is more important for ux then the ui. And this guy is a senior with over 12 years experience. Damn this one is really stupid 🤦♂️🤦♂️14 -
Pull request of the week: (In simplified version)
a = getVariable()
...
getVariable() {
[Some logic]
a = thisValue
.. or ..
a = thatValue
return a
}
🤦♂️🤦♂️
Tried my best to write a polite comment -
A PM just asked me if i can change a display text on our webapp project.
🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️
Isn't that what we have been doing the whole time ??
🤷♂️🤷♂️🤷♂️ -
Dev: "Oh, btw, I updated our dependency on X since a new version was available."
Almond: "Really?! They only released the last new version yesterday."
Dev: "Oh, I know, but there's a new one now."
Almond: "Ok, fair enough."
*Pulls code*
com.x.x:3.5.1.SNAPSHOT
🤦♂️ -
Its been a month or 2 since i started homelabbing again
I can only conclude i have developed a severe Ansible fetish somehow 😳
I don't deploy stuff, configure it, and then put it in ansible: nono, thats far too normal!
Far better to write the playbook first, blind, that way once you are done its self-documenting! And reproducible!
Also i could just use containers for everything 🤦♂️2 -
PagerDuty: "This shit's so slow your servers are timing out"
Dev Fix: "Let's add another layer of caching before the Redis cache!" 🤦♂️4 -
Everyone: Keep people safe and work from home!
My power company: We were going to turn off your power for maintenance but now we won't to help people work from home.
Also my power company today : Hope you didn't need your power to work from home. Good luck with that.
🤦♂️1 -
How do you fight the urge to sleep around 11pm?
How do you fix the desire to stay in bed under blanket till like 8am?
I am at a stage in life where I love my bed and my sleep more than sex. 🤦♂️ (So forget about working at late night or early morning)
Gods, HELP me!6 -
me: clicks button run
program starts throwing out fatal errors
me: shhhhhhhh, whats wrong, whos hurting you?:'(
i sed the shhhhh part out loud, not even realizing it🤦♂️2 -
Commented on a hacky pull request that the junior dev called the same method twice for no reason.
Junior dev didn't get it and asked me to explain in person.
I went over and traced the code, finally he understood my comment. Then he said "Yes, I call it twice"in a tone that as if there's nothing wrong in that statement.
🤦♂️2 -
Fitting all of my open apps onto three monitors. I think maybe six monitors will hold them all. Ironically, staying focused is also something I struggle with. 🤦♂️😅
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Trying to update yarn from choco.
It didn't detect npm-lts
Got BS by install npm 9.8.0
Nothing is working right now 🤦♂️
I wanna go to gym. But it's 1clock past midnight right now.
God damn it1 -
Alexa, what’s a quarter times 13?
Alexa: One US quarter times 13 is 13 US quarters.
🤦♂️ Alexa, what’s point two five times 13?4 -
Today's task - trying to convince our BA that we don't need to create a task on the board to tell us to create a set of other tasks on the board 🤦♂️1
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Random thought while upgrading schema and manually recreating 100+ rows table; when looking for a job, make sure you look for one where company focuses on employing brainpower, not manpower.. 🤦♂️ 🙄
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Asked for Git repo details and my manager replied, “Let’s discuss and close this in the office tomorrow.” I guess Git and patience both require good branching strategies! 🤦♂️1
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For quite sometime I thought that it was not possible to create .env files on Windows. Got to know today that you can create them directly in VS Code. 🤦♂️3
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Me: Why do we do this this time consuming, low value thing?
My tech lead: Because if we don't, a box becomes red on some executive report.
Me: Why is this deadline so important? It's not customer facing or any kind of critical bug/vulnerability?
My tech lead: Because it was a company wide mandate, and we'll show up on some executive report if we're late.
Me: *angry dev noises*
They must dole out lashings to the tech leads and the directors any time we fail to meet some completely arbitrary demand. The act like the world is going to end any time we get too close to a deadline 🤦♂️
Makes no sense that they then turn around and worship the ground senior leadership walks on. I wonder if it's some weird form of stockholm syndrome.5 -
So today I learnt that babel/runtime-corejs2 is a lib which makes babel more optimised by refactoring most of its function calls. So I need to import a library..... to gain more performance out of an existing library.... I mean you could literally refactor babel instead of asking people to import another package in your project 🤦♂️6
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Anyone here taking (or taken) the SAT exam? I have got it in a week-ish and am shitting bricks!! Doesn't help being British (thus I never learned anything specific to the SAT) and I *may* have procrastinated... 😳🤦♂️2
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Well fuck Amazon. I am trying to get into my account because for some fucking reason they say my payment method is faulty while they actually write off the subscription of prime of it. But to get into my account I need to login again with 2FA as I have that turned it on. So far so good. But since it's an old phone number I can't login. Well just change the phone number wouldn't you think? Well yes but to change the phone number I need to login in with the old phone number to which I have no longer access 🤦♂️. Eventually found a phone number I could call. I get a lovely lady on the phone which guides me to resetting my password but for that, you guessed it, I need to do the 2FA again. I get send through to the next person as she can't change it for me because of privacy reasons (oh well). That guy first askes the last 4 numbers of my creditcard like 5 times because he can't remember it (write it the fuck down then asshole) then he starts mistaking the 6 for 9 (like how the fuck do you do that) and then the text messages don't come in while I am on the phone with him which he tries to blame to my service provider because they would block Amazon (like why would they do that?). But since I got a text message of them 15 min before I shot that down quickly. Then he finally admitted that they might have a disruption going on. So I think we'll fine I'll just ask my question to him how it's possible that Prime stops working as I am watching it because my payment method is faulty according to them (but manage to write off the subscription) and he starts talking just shit. Just admit that you don't know and connect me to someone who does know how that can happen. In the the end I just hung up because I knew I wasn't getting anywhere with this guy and don't you know it, as I start writing this the text messages come in. Problem solved you would say just out that number in the website and you can change your phone number. Well no because I have to tell the number to the guy who I hung up with because the texts weren't coming in 😒. Now I should call them back but I think I'll wait till tomorrow hopefully the day shift will be a bit more knowledgeable on how shit works and can actually remember 4 digits.2
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Finally i knew it, you always give me a false promise, I shouldn’t trust you from the first time we meet. Damn you JS Developer 🤦♂️1
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Writing jest test cases for a MongoDB server app.
I noticed, inside the testEnvironment file, it uses ‘require’ instead of ‘import’.
I changed it to ‘import’...🤔
Somehow it pops out syntaxErrors.🤦♂️
In my actual .test.js file, I use import all the time, never had any issue.
The Babel transform and babel-jest are also in the right place.
Anyone know why?4 -
When non-developer and 1st cs students create a meme for developer.
Most likely it's bad.
Very very bad 🤦♂️ -
We can’t do that, because the Athena project is going away. Sometime, maybe tomorrow. Maybe next year. Probably never. Let’s create a new thing to use and support since the two line fix isn’t supported anymore and we can’t make PRs to the Athena project.
Two weeks later: Awesome, add this PR to the Athena project to make our project live. 🤦♂️ -
Me: Hey, where's the documentation on how to do <task>?
Co-worker: Slack.
Me: 🤦♂️ Oh, there it is. Thanks.1 -
Practicing some random code interview questions while not busy.
Find top N values with MaxHeap in JS
Didn’t get it right in 1st try. Something wrong with the replace function. Then started getting busy...
At the end of the day, still didnt have a chance to fix it.
God damn it! It’s me. A frontend developer can’t write MaxHeap in JavaScript 🤦♂️ -
I took 2 days off, just to be far away from sprint board and tasks.... And just after 2 hours of my 1st day I am end up continuing on my assigned task 🤦♂️2
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Tried out the node.js code demo in this book.
🤦♂️
Terrible format, use tab for indentation, very very long function, redundant code (eg: new Buffer vulnerability)...
The major issue is none of the total.js nosql code works. Eg:
db.clear()
db.insert({...data})
Without any asynchronous call, how do you expect this to work?!
Just fixed the code and updated npm modules for demos in Chapter 3 btw... Took way longer than expected.
3 -
If a mooc website has a query string like this,
How can you trust anything they teach!?
🤦♂️
https://datacamp.com/courses/... -
Happened today on the way home
---
*Doesn't feel keys in usual pocket*
Shit, where are my keys?
*Checks other pockets*
Oh, I put them where I usually put my wallet.
...
Shit, where is my wallet? (I forgot it on my desk 🤦♂️) -
Question: What do you guys think of this logo?
Anyway, here's my rant..
I'm starting to get pissed off with my relative for whom I'm doing a project.
He's coming up with the ugliest logo and fonts I have ever seen in 2018.
I mean it's business so I don't have much say in what he decides esp since he seems to have taken it upto himself to design the logo and managed to make a logo suggestion I made even terrible.
I have told him multiple times to avpid the knockoff wierd fonts and use simple fonts that looks normal.
And yet, he comes back everytime by changing colors in one of the letter n the words 🤦♂️
Maybe it's because we are from different generations and we have different visions on what it should look like.
He is the kind of guy who goes on and on about how he used computers and internet back in the 90s everytime we meet!
He probably uses MS Word to design the logo! This is the newest logo he came up with.
If I were to be honest, I would be probably rude in his eyes, since it is his "work".
What do you guys think of this logo? Can only show that much of the logo to maintain some privacy.
14 -
Those days when you have to sit behind the new guy at the customer and let him code. And explain every single thing to him 🤦♂️. And all you want is to grab the keyboard and start coding on your own 👨💻.
-
When deal with webpack,
I know what I'm doing,
because I know "I know what I'm doing" is my imagination.🤦♂️ -
So today a customer decided to call the throughput he specified a bug because it isn't fast enough. 🤦♂️
-
==rant
Linkedin can you please remove this No Thanks button from the mobile app. Its the second time I pressed it while I was actually trying to press the Back button, for a job opportunity message from a company I am interested in. 🤦♂️
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Holy shit Realm. This DB.... On Android it will crash if you access a reference to the db from a different thread than the one it was created from! 🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️
Why oh why can't they just have their own internals managing all the fucking thread they need? There's a reason they provide sync and async db access.
This basically means that my reference to a realm instance should always be tightly paired with the corresponding thread reference so that I can run my db queries on it.
👎9 -
I just tried to import the 'requests' module without it being installed. I genuinely thought it was part of the standard library 🤦♂️3
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Trying to fix an urgent issue with our Xamarin iOS app and a known bug in Xamarin "IOException: Sharing violation on path /Assets.xcassets/AppIcon.appiconset/Icon-1024.png" is blocking me.
Luckily I still have my old laptop from my last upgrade on standby, boot it up and it's not using the affected version of Xamarin. 😃
Instead this one has the also know "/ios/release/mono/mini/mini-arm64.c:5439, condition `native_offset % 4 == 0' not met" blocking issue when debugging. 🤦♂️
I just want to do some work. ☹3 -
- Running a release build on my phone (forgot to change variant)
- Spent 5 minutes figuring out why my changes with the logs weren't working.
🤦♂️1 -
GitKraken is a piece of shit, there’s no other way to word it.
I’ve been working on a branch on my own for a while committed most things I did except the very last things. Since the branch was quite old I decided to rebase onto develop to be more up to date. So for the modifications I didn’t commit I stashed them, then I started rebase, thinking it was done I poped my stash. Then I saw there were rebase conflict so I pressed cancel rebase thinking it would just revert to the state before the rebase. BUT GOOD LORD NO, YOU GOT IT ALL WRONG…
No it just deleted my stash in the process as well 🤦♂️6 -
Lecturer : Today you can save data into the internet.
The internet is not a storage device 🤦♂️
Correct terminology when talking to computer science finalists too much to ask?
And we complain about the government.1
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