No. More. Writing. Code. On. A. Fucking. Piece. Of. Paper.

 (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

My son came from kindergarten with a picture he painted. And that's what I found on the backside of the paper.

Toilets and race conditions!

A co-worker asked me what issues multi-threading and shared memory can have. So I explained him that stuff with the lock. He wasn't quite sure whether he got it.

Me: imagine you go to the toilet. You check whether there's enough toilet paper in the stall, and it is. BUT now someone else comes in, does business and uses up all paper. CPUs can do shit very fast, can't they? Yeah and now you're sitting on the bowl, and BAMM out of paper. This wouldn't have happened if you had locked the stall, right?

Him: yeah. And with a single thread?

Me: well if you're alone at home in your appartment, there's no reason to lock the door because there's nobody to interfere.

Him: ah, I see. And if I have two threads, but no shared memory, then it is as if my wife and me are at home with each a toilet of our own, then we don't need to lock either.

Me: exactly!

Three male programmers were in the bathroom standing at the urinals.

The first programmer finishes, walks over to the sink to wash his hands. He then proceeds to dry his hands very carefully. He uses paper towel after paper towel and ensures that every single spot of water on his hands is dried.

Turning to the other two, he says, "At Windows, we are trained to be extremely thorough."

The second programmer finishes his task at the urinal and he proceeds to wash his hands. He uses a single paper towel and makes sure that he dries his hands using every available portion of the paper towel.

He turns and says, "At Macintosh not only are we trained to be extremely thorough but we are also trained to be extremely efficient."

The third programmer finished and walks straight for the door, shouting over his shoulder.

"At RedHat, we don`t PISS on our hands."

I hate interviews that asks me to write code on paper.

Took a coding exam today ..

.. on paper.

Professor at Uni: "Missing a semicolon on yozr final exam could be a reason to fail that exam. Coding on paper is much better because that is what you will be doing on the job. "

Hate those written Java exams on paper.

Write code on paper.

My experience while learning C#:

>trying to print an HTML element of a website to console
>doesn't work
>why
>changes a few things in code
>runs code multiple times
>still doesn't work
>looks closely at code
>wait a second
>walks to wireless printer
>finds nearly 10 pieces of paper on the floor
>I hate myself

I took a programming class this semester in which a have to write code on paper, and the more I write, the more I agree. I give you my word-

I will ***never--- ever--- write code on paper again***

Presenting my paper on PHP Security in IEEE conference today... Wish me luck. I hope it gets published 😃🤞

This might sound cliché, but my dad. I called him Pop. He was a COBOL programmer, and he taught me the fundamentals. He would bring home his work and debug on paper, and I was his rubber duck.

When I got older, we were each other's rubber duck. Whenever I was stuck, he'd throw a suggestion out that might have seemed off base at first, but was somehow related to what I was working on.

I was presenting a paper about "P5.js". My line began with "P5.js is a javascript library ... (and I went on)".

After my conclusion one of the judges asked me "Is this based on JavaScript?"

My reply "No sir, Magic!".

(Funny part - Got first prize.)

Guy: *hands me sheet of paper* What does this code do?
Me: *looks through code written on the paper* Well, most likely segfault.

*awkward silence*

Final year of my Comp Sci degree and mum still says I shouldn't study on the computer so much.

Last time I checked a sheet of paper doesn't compile C very well

2017. Where your coding exams are done handwritten on paper. Hell yeah future.

I printed a cockroach in a sheet of paper and put it back on the printer.

Having to learn "Modern web technologies" from a 60 year old woman who has never heard of HTML5 and build her website with tables. And we even had to code on paper. Fuck sake, so much time wasted

Before you start to code write your ideas on a piece of paper ... Everytime I beginn a project I start with coding, this advice is to difficult for me 😂

Writing codes on paper even when you have a laptop with the language and IDEs because college.

Interviewer:

Here is a pen and paper. Now code in front of me your answer from the preliminary exam.

All love to Android community.

I made a parental control app where parent can control child phone using SMS. Also I published research paper on it and gonna do presentation on March 23.

I told my boss I'd been offered a job somewhere else with a better position and pay and he presented a reasonable counter-offer in under two hours which included an on-paper promotion and matching payrise.

I stayed. 🙃

What an year ?
>MS VS on mac
>SQLServer on Linux :D
>Xamarin API for tizen (seriously :/)
>MS becomes `platinum` member @LinuxFoundation
>Google joins .NETfoundation
>Trump becomes the president ??????????
>In India 500 and 1000 rupees notes are now worth toilet paper except we don't actually wipe - we wash ;)
>For me RIP $copes and controllers and my year worth of experience :'(

Holy fucking shit!

We just got hit with the dumbest GDPR notice ever. IB fucking M has just managed to fucking FedEx a single fucking shitty piece of paper with a generic GDPR notice on. The fucking parcel was not even addressed to anyone except the "purchasing department".

Why on earth would some fucking corporate drone FedEx a single sheet of paper across the Atlantic Ocean?

Aaarghhhh!!!!!!

Today a friend tried to zoom in on a paper map that I had put on the table...

The following just happened in the bus:

A woman took a beautiful Enpora flip phone from 2008 out of her pocket. While she did that a small yellow paper fell on the ground. My eyes pointed at the paper and I saw multiple usernames, passwords and codes on it.

I didn't even hesitate and tapped on her shoulder and gave it back.

She was frightened! Couldn't thank me enough and told me how important it was to have that with her. She said she couldn't remember all her passwords and that if she would've lost it, she didn't know how to log in and unlock her phone anymore.

I gladly told her that it wasn't very safe but ofcourse I understoot that it can be hard to remember everything.

Also I almost told her that she could start using a password manager but with a flipphone you can't use that of course ;)

I asked a user to send me a screenshot of their error yesterday. They proceeded to print out the web page error on paper, take a picture of that piece of paper and email me the attached photo. Gave me a good chuckle.

Job offers that list "high speed internet and a laptop" as employement benefits realy piss me off. Do they think other companies force you to code on paper and send it trough mail?

Anyone else jot down notes on small pads of graph paper?

And now on paper

We received an urgent email from a client this morning that needed addressed immediately. We knew it was not going to be easy or fun so we did the sensible thing and began a rock paper scissors tournament to see who would work on it.

I lost... But then we see a follow up email from my boss saying he is handling it. Win!

Fast forward 6 hours, he comes out of his office and hands me a piece of paper and says he is too busy to work on it so I need to do it before going home. The paper is the email from 8am this morning... He did absolutely nothing with it for six hours except print it because a digital copy isn't good enough I guess.

I ended up working late, got yelled at by said client, and still haven't finished the fixes.

Worst of all is that I missed part of shark week because I stayed late.

!rant

I love the fact that some programmers will put there heart and soul into a project and spend there entire life working on it to only have no recognition or earn a single cent.

Yet the man who invented toilet paper literally wiped his ass and made millions...

I love how the world works! :-D

It's 2016, yet universities do programming tests on paper! More irritating is the lecturer, who is a slow typist and can't do touch typing.

Asked a boomer client to send their email Id. They sent it along with their password. Written on a piece if paper. Through their neighbor.

Things happened this year so far in chronological order:

Applied to PhD and got all rejected

Graduated without a job because I thought the last event wouldn’t happen

Decided to take more shots at universities in Europe and Canada

Paper got published and got best paper honorable mention

Interviewed by couple professors and the one in Canada seems to be interested in me

School in Canada, which rejected me before, reopened my case for review

Bank account got closed because my parents transferred me some money to support my unemployment ass and bank thought it was a fraud

The review process took so long I got hopeless and thought, if I end up writing webpages for other people, why not doing it now? And did two webpages which are in my previous rant, pretty good and highly recommended imo

Canada school promised a date but didn’t follow that date, depression attack

Finally sent them an email and got an answer saying the admission approved my application and they are working on paper work. But I still don’t believe it because I’m paranoid

Got an email from a professor today confirming they are doing paper work and I should receive official paper soon.

You can see the dramatic ups and downs, but in the end, guess I’m going to Toronto for phd

A temporary replacement teacher came in today, she is so fucking dumb omfg, I am literally shakeing, this pic will tell you everything.

Real life job interview…
Manager: what about this problem? Could you solve it? (Showing me a problem about scanning a 2d array to find a value written on a piece of paper)

Me: sure! Just give me a piece of paper and I will write a solution.

Manager: no need for that. I don’t have the knowledge to check that anyway… if I wanted you to solve it I would have called one of my programmers.

…
Manager: do you have any question about the company?

Me: What do you exactly do in the company? I wonder what is the purpose of a person that makes questions about things he doesn’t know.

I would (at apprenticeship level) start to teach more software architecture and security related stuff.

Yes knowing how to iterate over an array is important but it’s getting lame...

And last but not least it’s fucking 2018 why am I writing a Java 6 swing GUI on paper as a test

I hate this country!
This was the third time this month that the power cables got stolen. Looks like it is going to be takeouts and project planning on paper tonight.

If you're making me write code on fucking paper you better not expect me to comment it

!rant

I often find myself reading a physical copy of a book or something written on paper and my brain just wants me to Ctrl+f

That you if you cant solve a problem on paper you can't solve it in the real world.

But seriously coding gave me a voice, I was a seriously smart kid, but I was also a dirty orphaned dropout.

Everyones worth in this world is measured on a piece of paper and mine was blank. I was just seen as some overly ambitious kid spinning fairy tales and crackpot theories because no one could understand what the ideas value was or didn't try because of my age and cv, then I taught myself to code.

All of a sudden my theories were provable and I had a way of delivering them to not just one but millions of people in a way that they could understand and interact with them.My whole life changed and the day I wrote my first program was the last day I was ever judged by a piece of paper.

Real story at a screening interview:

Me(interviewer): how do you convert a string into a number in Javascript?
Candidate: what do you mean?
Me: (writes "123" -> 123 on paper) How do you convert "123" to 123 in JS?
Candidate: (starts writing program on paper)

str.replace(/\"/g, '"")

mind==blown!!

Paper: "Net worth of Jeff Bezos crossed $150 billion"

Me: Why do I give a shit? It was at 132B before, now it's 150B. He was the richest guy before, he still is now. Apart from a few numbers on paper, nothing's really changed. Show some real news and stop wasting my time with this shit.

I hate React.js with a fucking passion. It sounds great on paper, but once your project gets any size. The mental recursive loops of passing data around is insane. Not to mention keeping consistency a cross metric shit ton of components. How do you manage it?

If I have to draw out a normalized database on paper one more time I think I might split myself into multiple indexes

No code on paper and no flipping MS office crap.

Learning to code at the University was quite annoying in the beginning. We had to write code on paper.
Might be the usual way, yet it was really inconvenient.

tabs vs spaces is the coding equivalent of over vs under on the toilet paper roll

If you make students take coding tests/quizzes on paper, don't grade them on picky syntax errors! We don't code on paper in the real world; syntactic highlighting and red squiggles will usually show you that you accidentally typed that declaration incorrectly. Understanding programming concepts is much more important than being able to write a program on paper.

My roommate's CS Prof literally makes them print their code on PAPER (max 80 chars to a line) and submit it to his physical dropbox across campus. This includes end of term projects where a single submission might have literally 20 pages of code.

I don't know what to say.

The other day we had a little celebration because a website went live.

It’s weird

Somehow it’s easy to spent €100 on celebration food and drinks but it’s hard to sign a €90 paper and allow me to upgrade my computer just a tiny bit.

Worst: The guy gave me 5 minutes to code a given assignment on paper. I did all the logic and told him I was missing a function whose name I would just Google. He told me I can't always Google. Well... I won't be coding on paper either.

Best: I was given the assignment to clone a part of a production site. Assignment was intended for 3 days and I was given 5 hours. Completition wasn't important, only structure and coding style counted. I cloned everything and even added new features.

You just can't always be in the zone. I hope more interviewers would take that into account and design better questions.

Before I learned how to code and people said that you should print hello world I thought they really meant hook it up to a printer and print it on paper

Programming lesson #5
When logic becomes too complex to solve mentally while coding, writing the requirements and inputs on paper and coming up with pseudocode is a good approach.

Linux geek started working at McDonalds. A customer asked him for a Big Mac and he gave him a bit of paper with FF:FF:FF:FF:FF:FF written on it.

Dropping out of school. So many lost years on keeping up with stupid and incompetent shits, with the piece of paper at the finish line not obtained. I did that twice and lost.. what, 5 years on that? Time I could've spent doing self-study instead. I'm not saying that anyone else should drop out - don't! - but for me, going to school doesn't seem worth it when I can learn on my own, and do it much faster. Unfortunately however those stupid pieces of paper are still regarded as valuable by some.. so whether refusing to get those is a good or a bad idea, only time can tell...

Client gets an error message. Proceeds to write the error message on a piece of paper, scans the paper in as PDF and attaches the document to an email to tech support.

Recruiter of the day: "Hi [...] I think you will be very interested in <random startup name>. You will work on Digital Projects."
Oh, really?!? I thought I would wrote code on paper!

I noticed that a lot of people are ranting about writing code on paper in the wk92 rant, but that got me thinking: does anyone here write something like "pseudo-code" (or some kind of plan) on paper before they type out their code?

Professor: You may use all the offline material on your computer while taking the exam

Me: Downloads 50 stack overflow and tutorials point pages as PDF just in case I get an error I can't solve or forget basic syntax

At least we don't have to do it on paper...

I hate the thought of getting stuck on something that would require 5 seconds of Googling to solve during an exam :/

When you have a job interview, and to test your knowledge they make you write code on paper.

Me to my friends after writing binary search correctly on my exam paper*

Got a java exams today, got to code on paper and it really annoying. 😏😏

Client: Too many of our business processes take place on excel and paper! We need to modernize our business processes. Build an app that can do the main things we do with excel and paper in app form.

Dev (4 months later): Here it is

Client: Ok some of our users want to still use excel and paper so build the ability to print the app and export/import to excel so they can continue working the way they always have alongside our new app.

Dev: …

My job title on paper:
"Application developer"
How I'm introduced to interview candidates:
"Senior software engineer"

Does anyone else see a problem here? 🤔

As a programmer when it comes to writing something on paper and ending a sentence with dot(.) Makes me feel something is incomplete;

Finish programming assignment.

Jump right into 10 page paper with auto correct/spell/grammar check turned off (technical paper, office tries to correct issues that aren't issues).

Finish paper, turn checks back on.

Realize ended all sentences with semicolons.

FML.

Best joke of the day is always reality. Im working in one of the richest companies in the world.
The spare part stock is tracked on an excell sheet and changes in stock filled by hand on paper.

I fucking nailed my c exam.
Had to write C on paper today. Fuck my uni for that. But I think I aced it. I coded C for weeks and hopefully finally payed off.
Fuck coding on paper though. They are just too lazy to make something digital. But man at least let me get some compiler messages. It's not like anyone codes without compiler messages anymore.

Years ago I co-authored a technical paper. I now see you can buy a paper copy of it on Amazon for nearly $900.00

Its freely available anyways so I sure hope nobody has actually bought it haha.

How long will it be before clients "get it" the web is a fluid medium it can't and shouldn't be fixed like ink on paper. Unless I do your website as a set of jpegs, you dickhead.

In an exam today having to read through two pages of writing on paper. So my brain automatically goes "ctrl-f"...then I realise this is real and I have to read the whole thing FML

Remember the Christmas lecture I told you about?
Did you know, we have Santa in our faculty and he only communicates in the "Ho, ho, ho!" language?
So they created a ho ho ho programming language based on brainfuck and a way to do multiplications with a christmas tree🌲 and the prof sang a song to Andrew Tanenbaum. We had Punsch or Glühwein and Christmas cookies and there was a flashmob of the new choir 'C#' aaah it was just so cool
Last year they sent a paper to the journal of Universal Rejection, the paper is called: "Toward Xmas 4.0 - Recent Advances in Santa Claus Research"

My company just acquired another company from some losers.
Gotta load their pittance database onto our thing.
Their entire "Technology Department" is one old fart.
One even older fart runs their accounting.
I asked the IT boomer for their accounting data.
He tells me to get the head accountant.
The head accountant says they do not have any historical accounting data.
I threaten to call the (equivalent of the) IRS on them.
They give up, admit that they do have some historical data. But they attempt to pull a "malicious compliance" on me, send me a pallet full of old receipts, on paper.

I do what I have done one hundred times before, I go to the closest community college (equivalent) and ask/bribe a teacher to offer the most trustworthy kids some pretty pennies to scan all those files for me.
A dozen of them barely took a week to do it using their not-so-bad camera phones.
It all for about the same price as a couple of older-but-still-good iPhones.
Then it's on to some simple OCR and data normalization tasks.

This morning I had another meeting with the losers, the first since I told them their "data" had just arrived in the mail (but a couple weeks after that). They log in for the meeting all smug, thinking we would ask for more time to load their data, and it would be my team's fault for any delays.
Then the regional business evaluator logs in and said he reviewed their financials yesterday and we have a lot to talk about.
I will remember their "just got punched in the gut" faces forever :)

Fuck another headache! 2 hours translating C programs to Assembly on paper! 😧

My setup for 2 months now
On screen: revisiting spaces as the paper I'm currently made me feel like I know nothing

Some of the guys in our team like to throw pranks once in a while. So they printed a version of my ID with Mr. Putin's face instead of mine (a decent upgrade in my opinion) and put the paper on top of my ID. I was walking with it around the office for God knows how long until I noticed.

Python and java tests in college? Both on paper, so you can only write your code once, using a pen, and you can't debug it or modify it. Awesome right... Smh

I was writing some super basic following ai on paper during another prolifically stagnant physics class, and my teacher walks over to me...

She looks over my shoulder at the paper and continues to stare...

“Programming stuff,” I replied when she prompted me as to what it is that I was writing.

Then she continued to stare...

And stare...

Pointing at the word “energy”, she made a most enlightening and endearing comment: “Looks like physics.”

Then she walked away

And that was that

Some idiots ripped off our work and code that was open sourced and wrote a paper on it and got it published from some cheap publisher. Even for me to some benefit of doubt or consider that probably they worked on advancing our research….they didn’t even give us any credits!

Heights of shamelessness!

FYI, we already had an IEEE paper published!

I don’t mind if you guys have any suggestions on how I can get back at them. I don’t think a rant is going to calm me down for what they have done.

TL;DR: Printers suck. MS-Word sucks.

Yesterday I wanted to print a few participation certificates for my blender project students.

*Turns on printer, runs downstairs, gets paper, runs upstairs, puts paper in*

So I tried to print in word. Nothing happened. Printer was online. I checked queue: Nothing.

*a couple of tries later*

Okay, fuck it! I export it as a pdf and open it in edge (8 times. 8 documents. Edge is a neat pdf-viewer, fight me). I press print on one. It works. I print the others and check: They look shit. The images look like 25% resolution and 50% jpg compression. I check word.

It by default exports in low quality. Yea, thanks for asking me. I export pdfs again and check "high quality". Open them, print. Done.

These were like 30 wasted minutes and print color. And paper.

Btw they look fucking neat. I can't show them right now but gradient text headline, project name is a rendered and edited 3D object :D

This is just straight up a joke. Head of data science has had us implementing something based on a paper.

I raised some "concerns" about it a while ago. Found out today they'd not even read the paper. We're pretty sure what we've been asked to work on doesn't solve the problem it's meant to solve...

Day 2 in ComSci class (following my last rant)
"Okay, so! All of the schoolwork and homework will be done on paper and pen, submit and I will grade it. Only once, no second chance"

Okay. Okay. This went over my head. What are you gonna do? OCR the code into the compiler, compile it and run to see if we fucked up to give us an F? What are you, god? Here's a brilliant idea, teach them Assembly! Guaranteed error to give us Fs! FUCK YOU

Today I had a programming exam

We had to read a request, write uml, use case etc...

I think "it's going to be easy!"

Than I remember that for some unholy reason we use java7

Than I remember that the keyword to automatically add getters and setters was added in java10

Had to write getters and setters by hand, on a piece of paper, for 5 classes...

I hate my university, we are Information Engineering that is the closest thing we have to Software Engineering in my city and we still do our programming exams on paper, that doesn't test your ability to program, but your ability to learn a load of information by memory

When you thought writing code on paper in university was bad, wait till you apply to Google and have one of your interviews writing code in Google docs.

Yours truly is gonna get published again (probably, most likely) but has to get their shit together and write faster because deadlines.

Send good vibes plz. I've been lazy lately.

You know you have a quality teacher for C code when you are writing a test and you have to write the code on a piece of paper

>Advanced code optimization class
>Professor : Your midterm exam will be written on paper....with no code.
>Me: ?????????????

Design on a Paper: "The more time you spend on papers, the less time you spend on your system" - Random programmer

I wrote a scientific paper of six and a half pages.

This man wrote 60 comments on it.

I admire the dedication. 😐

I like to write my way through my problems. It feels weird to talk to an object, but writing on paper feels natural to me.

We actually had a small "code on paper" test (more like a recap test) yesterday, but we didn't have to write much rather than just have a basic understanding how classes and instances of those work. It was like 6 small lines of code to insert. I don't mind coding on paper as long as you don't have to write a big program with it as a 1-hour test.

Hey hens I'm back on my crack.

How have you all been? Tell me what I've missed (presumably not much as you've all been locked indoors for a while now but hey ho)

I'll be handed a paper soon that says I can write code so I have that going for me (that's also where I've been for the past while)

Fuck academics! End semester exams are ucking waste of time ! Just need to study one night before and on exam ay 'vomit' all my memory onto the paper. Fuck it. I AM done.

because writing over 500 lines of java code using swing framework on a piece of paper with a pen is a perfectly good and healthy way to learn how to write code

Can anyone recommend a good English to German translator?

Don't trust Google Translate enough to put it's words to paper, only asking here because I've noticed a lot of German dev's on here ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Took notes in a meeting few weeks ago about things left to do. Now I can't read my own fucking notes cuz handwriting looks like ants with dirty feet were let loose on the paper.

Welp, FML.

Think in math on paper before start programming

Company's HR team has launched a eco drive. As part of the initiative they're asking everyone to use only one tissue paper (among other things) to save trees.
.
.
So they've printed that message on thick glossy papers and pasted them, at least four per washroom among other places.

Okay, I guess.

Programming on paper (any benefits?)

For the programming exams we have at our university we have to write code on paper (like full code, not pseudo).

I feel that writing code on paper really limits my ability to express my programming knowledge, in comparison to writing code on the computer.

However, I cannot think of a real benefit of doing so. I mean most programmers (if I may generalize) have bad handwriting. Which is a loss-loss situation for both the examinees and professors (who have to read the exams).

Are there any benefits for writing code on paper?

For the first time ever, I’m writing an academic paper while worrying it will be too long, as opposed to being too short. The difference with this paper is that it’s on something I’m passionate about. I’m having fun writing this one - I’m getting paid to do something that doesn’t feel like work. It really makes me think about what job I want to get after college. I understand it’s possible to work without feeling like you’re working, and that’s something I really want.

I hate it when book publishers of tech books don't have their own DRM-free formats. I then have to go on Amazon and see that the Kindle version is only 10% cheaper than paper. Then I factor in the fact that they probably fucked up the formatting on the ebook. So, I end up just buying the paper one and my office continues to resemble a mad scientist's library.

I started using Google Docs over the weekend working on my thesis paper for my CS degree. I've come to the conclusion that it's a suitable replacement for MS Office and my need for Microsoft's ecosystem. Don't know why I kept paying it for so long.

It's funny when you study in a diploma course that clearly states having a computer as a prerequisite but your mum nags you everyday for studying on the comp top much instead of doing exercises on paper. Well I didn't know I could check syntax for c++ on paper.

My wife often listen my rants about stupid clients, she thinks that I hope to much from them. Like image as actual image not fucking embedded in word document.
Today she agreed to help her friend and make name cards for tables. Got list of names ;) one photo of paper with hand written names on it :D

Wellp, I just had a cowoker send me a screenshot. By that I mean a .pdf of the application we both work on that looks like she somehow manifested the program into the physical world and ran it through an early 90's copier, scanned the resulting piece of paper, and sent me that.

Rewrote half of a fucking paper. Also, some moron has been mis-editing my last work on this. They managed to write barely-english sentences in the middle of a well-thought-out section and break it completely. I'm glad last time I wrote these stuff I winged it, but if anyone gives me shit about stuff I carefully wrote right now, or edit it into rubbish, I will literally burn this paper to ashes.

There was this random image on devRant.
Yepp, it is Brainfuck once again.
For the bored devs among us and for the ones who seek a challenge to learn and have fun... here it is. Solve it on paper like I did in the first comment.

This weekly is getting really popular with so many rants coming in.
Shows the extent to which real coders/programmers/developers are tormented by the incompetent education system.
Here is my two cents:
Students should be taught to build their logic on paper before jumping on to their keyboards.

me: alright let me print this now.

*goes downstairs*

printer: *on the display* ... Printing ...
printer: *on the display* ... Printing ...
printer: *on the display* ... Printing ...

*no paper to be seen*

me: why isn't this working?

*checks computer upstairs.*

computer: *popup* We have an update scheduled for 17:40, we can install it then or, if you like, now.

me: oh, ok.

I have never believed that it would come to this. I am writing a javascript code exam on a paper. Honestly. I always laughed at posts where I saw code on paper, but now... I'm the same xdd.

Oh, you're encrypting user data
Your boss: write the encryption key on notepad or paper

One of my professors made us submit Hand Written codes. I mean writing, compiling, executing on the machine, and then writing by hand on paper to submit.

It was so irritating.

Thinking of making my own laptop stickers:

- Buy letter size sticker paper
- Print multiple logos/icons on sticker paper
- if needed, laminate the front side of the sticker paper with a thermal laminator (wife has one)
- Cut the stickers out
- ???
- Profit

I will report back with the results and pictures later. I assume they will end up a bit thick if I laminate them.

As I read this headline, all I could imagine was Mark Zuckerberg stood by an office scanner literally scanning each individual image or text that were printed on separate pieces of paper

Today in programming class.
FizzBuzz on a sheet of paper. I mean, of course I aced the one thing I do in every language I learn. :)

Our teacher then proceeded to talk about the fact that some people, even having studied Computer Science, were unable to make a FizzBuzz program.

w h a t ?

Feeling so dumb right know.
I have a C# exam tomorrow (on paper) and i can't get my brain to think in code.
I can't focus, I can't concentrate. I don't remember things i normally know by heart. Is it just stress? (Everything is pretty hard atm, lots of stress, lots of problems).
What could i do? I'm pretty messed up right now...

When a project manager has 'fixes' written on paper and wants to sit with you while you make them.

My physics teacher would call it a sin. Technically enough for wk81 xD

Yeah, i coded an entire NN on paper while physics lesson. Worked pretty well. Except it doesnt work yet :/ Compiler errors because of some referenncing issues

it's easier for me to build my cv on a website than arrange a normal paper/pdf one.

Best: actually started to work on side projects, they are not just discarded ideas on the paper anymore, so excited about this one

Worst: legacy bolognese app nobody understands and doesn't have documentation coupled with weird API also without any documentation

Last year during my HTML/CSS exam, there was a question requested that items should be displayed in the center of the screen and move outwards as you add in to them.

There were three given IDs for the divs. Left, right and main. So what I did to reduce the amount of code written(mind you this is written on paper). I just used the main class wrapped it inside a container and then did what the question was asked and achieved the same result. My teacher still gave me 0 points even though I provided a solution better than what most other students actually did. His reason was, you should've done as I said.

And yes, yes we're writing our coding exams on paper.

Three male programmers were in the bathroom standing at the urinals.

 The first programmer finishes, walks over to the sink to wash his  hands. He then proceeds to dry his hands very carefully. He uses paper  towel after paper towel and ensures that every single spot of water on  his hands is dried.

 Turning to the other two, he says, "At Windows, we are trained to be extremely thorough."

 The second programmer finishes his task at the urinal and he proceeds to wash his  hands. He uses a single paper towel and makes sure that he dries his  hands using every available portion of the paper towel.

 He  turns and says, "At Macintosh not only are we trained to be extremely  thorough but we are also trained to be extremely efficient."

 The third programmer finished and walks straight for the door, shouting over his shoulder.

 "At RedHat, we don`t PISS on our hands."

A: Do you still have that number?
Me: What number?
A: That number written on that paper I see on your desk.
Me: I guess it's on that paper then.
A: Thanks *leaves*

???

It was an email and it's missing the domain...

Code on paper before rewriting the code on a computer

The fact that buying a paper train ticket from automates in Germany requires you to write your name on it afterwards with a pen is putting me through a lot of pain.

Whyyyyyyy do people go back on their word and stab you in the back just to make themselves look better?

Mate, I’ve got a paper trail of your request, detailing EXACTLY what you asked for. Don’t make me use it against you to prove you’re wrong and I’m right... guess I better start collecting emails to use as self defence 😩😔

Writing "Algorithms and Data-structures" exam in an hour.. Only coding C++ on paper .__.

Sometimes I wish I could just print out Ubuntu byte by byte onto a paper and then throw it into a fire to just watch it burn... ....🤔.... .....hold on!.... ....waaaait a moment.... can I just literally do "dd if=/dev/sda | lp" ?!! 😈 ...brb

Reading a paper on DBMS architectures, and I quote:

"In the seventies, the scientific discussion
in the database (DB) area was dominated
by heavy arguments concerning the most
suitable data model, sometimes called a
religious war."

... and here I thought language argument was a religious war. :/

what is the purpose of a degree?

what value does it convey?

isnt it better if you just show all the work and projects youve done on github as proof of what kind of knowledge do you actually have? plus where you worked before on linkedin? thats not enough, right? a paper needs to decide how much knowledge you have? is that it?

I want to have the abilities to code on a computer like an artist paints on a canvas or a writer tells a story on paper. But when I sit at my keyboard, I feel like I have writer's block and get frustrated -_-

WRITING CODE ON PAPER...smh

I know many people wrote about this already, but writing code on paper is one of the worst things of a CS class. I’d rather get a computer with no internet access and use a notes app to write code instead of having to write everything by hand. It takes so much more time that you could spend thinking about the problem. Not only that but also my hand gets tired of writing...ughhhh

I need to convince my teacher and the school to switch to writing code on computers! I will not loose this battle ahah

"Write it on paper"

Headphones, phone in silent mode, my algos and data structures drawn on a sheet of paper, and a rubber duck by my side.

Client: Why does this white box not show up when I print it on white paper?

I was practising Java at my school(they were still teaching POWERPOINT,f**k)
They got themselves 20 shiny All-in-one garbage with Windows 10.
I got my bootable usb Linux with me,and fired up Kali.By mistake my program ran into infinite loop....
And the rest is history,got banned from the lab😭
P.s.I don't have anything to code on ,i write my programs on paper and executed them on the pc at my school,what to do now

IDK why our teachers make us write code on paper when we have cool, fancy IDEs with auto correct 🙃 I think they are preparing us for job interview coding rounds from class 12 onwards😂😂

F for those who miss a semi-colon and the teachers gives a round zero😂

I've been working on my term paper and writing an SDL-OpenGL program for it. I wanted to implement GLSL shaders. Took me only 6 hours and three cocktails.
And after the ordeal I ended up with this unholy flickering mess which just hurts to look at.
It's frustrating, doing all this shit for something that doesn't even work properly.
Fuck this

Not being able to write code only using pen and paper :/
I had one job interview where they ask me to iterate a tree using my preferred language. I felt so uncomfortable.
And my problem is only the pen and paper.
I'm able to write working code without any code completion even without highlighting in any shitty editor. But when it comes to write code by hand on paper it feels like my programmer brain side turns off.

I hate only a handful of things in this world. Including: stepping in water with socks on, when the toilet paper rips, and business people.

Fucking exam on Electronic Building Blocks... (aka Arduino). Program this thing ON GODFORGOTTEN PAPER! And then these retards put in that assignment line: max 5 lines of code, for a function that does nothing more than divide two shit eating numbers! And half of my apparently vegetative class fails this! When you were allowed to use your book and notes!

Oh and also, here's a seemingly pissed over image of an arduino with some peripherals, draw the wires. Draw! How the fuck do I keep 21 cocksuffocating wires on a page without overlaps or unclarity?

Am going through documents and found an old review on a paper I wrote in semester 1. Now, I wouldn't say my paper was either good or bad. There was not enough guidance provided in the unit and I was unfamiliar to the scientific asshole community so I tried my best.

But in particular, fuck reviewer 2. He doesn't understand basics in English and he has the audacity to make judgement. Like, I am not "misspelling" you moronic asshole who doesn't even know the difference between American and English spelling.

He wrote three fucking pages. This moron wrote about half the length of my paper about why my paper is shit. I hope he chokes on shit.

He goes on to why every figure was useless or wrong; How no section is related to another; How everything is either not explained enough, or explained too much. The audacity is what he suffers from throughout the review.

In conclusion, and given the contrast between reviewer 1 and 2, I'd recommend reviewer 2 goes on to fuck himself. Moronic bastard.

It's a pity that I know this will happen again in future. God this makes me so angry. Gah.

Have no Degree (the paper, I did study), currently doing a master to actually get the damn paper.

Have been working with a good pay for a few years now.

The Degree will help pass some HR filters on the dumbest companies, but sometimes you do want to work there.

The degree does nothing in the new professional word in this profession.

BUT sometimes, a degree gets you information that you will not get on your own that help you grow faster. Talking about the basics that everyone says are useless... But they are not.

A taste in college with punchcards but mostly on Commodore 64 and IBM 5050 using BASIC and dBASE II. Automated my company from paper to systems and developed many side projects. Still creating 😀

Client approved a design 2 months ago. I follow the design and build functionality based on the design and on budget.

What does client do... Doesn't want the site built says it doesn't follow their paper catalog. What paper catalog? I never got a paper catalog from design to follow. Three additional weeks later rebuilt the core of the site's functionality. And the final cost is 2.5 times over budget. Screw you Unnamed attorney search engine.

Long time no see...
My first ever research paper was selected a few months back. Never been to a foreign country, but COVID fucked the plans... Conference on mid June.
The paper will be in press after the conference.
Conference: EuCNC 2020
Paper name: RFF Based Parallel Detection for Massive MIMO

Noice

I have an Android development midterm on Sunday ON PAPER!

Anyome knows how to do alt+enter on paper? Or the logs?

Isn’t it weird how a paper notebook is more private than anything you type on a computer, despite the complete lack of encryption? You don’t control what happens to your CPU under the hood, and you never had that control.

Once again, we delivered our semester project and this time, we added working concurrency to an existing functional language compiler, which is pretty cool. But I'd probably be more happy if I had been developing more on the compiler than once again being stuck writing the fucking paper because none would be arsed to write it otherwise...

NO. I will not write code for a website on paper. And I will NOT draw my website. Go to hell.

Create a html page on paper, a simple form.

That part was easy.

The hard part was to create the ajax submit function with the validation, jquery is ok.

Failed the test because no way i can remember those shit.

That was 6 years ago

I can write a 100 page research paper on why I hate Windows operating system.

When writing my term paper.
Did some caffeine and teeine fueled rage C++ coding.
Codes over the day and night.
On a sunday until moday morning at 5.
Started way to late.
Fucked it up.

Stop teaching T-SQL on paper. If i have to write one more transactionsafe sql query without a debugger i'm going to fucking kill somebody.

Dont you just love spending like 2 hours playing around with a library and doing some math, on real pen and paper, only to find out the library had a function for what you need already there and available

:)

Our cv teacher at school basically just printed out selfhtml.org on paper and told us to start writing websites. He then went on to chill on his chair for the rest of the lesson.

The bugs I write are like my client's feature requests. There are alot more than what's on paper.

0. working PCs
0.0 technically they are working, but they are too slow to even open up eclipse
0.1 maybe this gets better at university
1 coding on paper
2 not using google + usbs + network drives for code sharing
3 if it might be applicable PLEASE ENABLE THE FUCKING CMD! OR LET ME USE ARCH ON MY STICK! C'MON

It's made me realize how much I miss drawing something on a piece of paper while explaining it.

(Not sure if this is a rant.)
My mom got a Surface Pro a few days ago. I'm kinda happy because she'll be using more tech stuff. I mean, she used to do most of her work on her phone or on plain paper. Maybe she'll warm up towards using a laptop and maybe I can slowly introduce her to Linux. 🤔
Any suggestions for a Linux distro for a complete newbie?

To day at scool a strange teacher tell me to have a software on paper !? WTF

"Most electronics work better while turned *on*. The rest are made by HP"

Fucking printer will not only *not* print my stuff but will also make hellish noises, print the same "hello world!" page six times in a row, jam paper in the seventh and spit expensive ink on its own mechanism while there is not even paper in it.
Fucking outdated cellulose-based bureaucracy. Govt' websites are far from perfect but yet are closer to it than presenting fucking tree-meat slabs unecessary covered in colourful liquid gold.

Having exams on paper sounds ... archaic.

I am for paper exams. It's not practically efficient but I find myself learning a lot from it!

So my paper submission was rejected for the second time. I truly believed in what I have done but apparently these 2 years of research are going to the recycle bin. I didn't even print the thesis to save on paper, so it's the recycle bin in the computer I'm talking about..
I guess research is not for me after all..

I still don't know how I feel about programming tests here in my university being on paper. Literally, we code on paper and that's it. Teacher corrects it like a compiler.

just finished after a full day's work, headed to a bar. their menu is not on paper but an ipad app and it crashed the very second I selected "drinks".

"It doesn't look anything like how we asked you to make it."

** Points to a pencil drawn wireframe that a 6 year old could have done a better job of creating. **

I hate looking for sources to cite in my thesis.

Either it's a book for 100€ or a paper thst I need to subscribe to IEEE xplore to..
And most of the stuff on Springer Link (which I get free access through uni) is behind a pay wall anyway...

On that note, does anyone happen to know decent sources on basic signal processing and image processing?
I.e. DCT, DFT transformations and so on

- Learn python
- Learn ML
- Move from client projects and start/finish my own project
- Find time/money to start PhD studies
- Find time to do science paper
- Get new car
Had to focus on working when I finished my master so I hope to get back to science part of work

Today in the train world - no ticket paper at the ticket automats, but money is still taken. This results in the ticket controller having to write my stations on the receipt paper. Is this 21st century Western Europe?

How do you guy (think of) prototype UI?

I have used the pen and paper approach but when you add the interactions such as clicks and animation on the paper,it become messy.

I feel that coding up a full blown front end for prototyping is overkill. Because when you want to prototype the list , you also need to insert the dummy data in order for you see probably clicks and drag animation.

You know what's hard...

Fixing a bug which occurred in production without having any logs because you log that useful info at debug level. 😧

Now take pen and paper, do calculation on your own and speculate what would have happened in production.

This happened about a month ago with my realtor while she was reading a clause from the lawyer that she needed to put on the offer.

Realtor: hey you're in tech *points at her phone and then on the paper*, can you copy and put it here.

Schedule an impromptu meeting with my friend Jack Daniels.

Joking.

Best thing I do is write down the issue on a piece of paper, read what I'm stuck on and realise I have been focusing on the wrong aspect of the issue and a different solution presents itself.

Take a step back, clear your mind and start again.

If not, then remember Jack is available after work.

I just want this week to be over so I can focus on coding =\.

Screw final exams, final research paper, final presentation, and final unit assignment.

I’m terrible at procrastination on things that don’t interest me and my fingers itch to minimize PowerPoint and maximize VS

Spent 2 hours today doing L1 support work!!! God i hate working with lazy people!!!

2 hours wasted checking for an application bug on all deployed client pcs when the only issue is the printer has no fucking paper!!!

L1 and L2 support exists for these kind of issues!! Do your god damn jobs!!!

Someone at work asks boss something stupid. He gets mad and says "omg don't they teach you anything at school?" and proceeds to give us all a pop quiz... On paper... Then tries to read all the code pieces like a lecturer.

When you need to write the code for the exam on paper and your teacher wants you to use a class named CountLoggedinUsersBean
😐😐😐😐😐😐

Waiting for my demo video to finish compiling and trying not to think of awful reviews I'm gonna get on my paper next year. 😐 #AnxietyIsConsistentlyFun

I will take the frustration of seeing technology not properly working in Germany with me to the grave. Ticket automat crashing if you directly select the destination, but if you follow the instructions on their piece of paper stuck to the automat to go first to the "Regionaltariff" button and then select your destination, that works. If you have to put a piece of paper explaining your software, because if you do it otherwise, it crashes, maybe you should think about the fact that it sucks.

Did a technical demonstration test to assess my digital skills for a job today...on paper.

can we agree that T is a dumb variable name?

I mean I totally know what it means in that instance, but why do people keep writing math stuff like they'd skribble it on paper?

In 2011
Brother: (early morning *getting excited*) I want to create a website like that of YouTube but having features of facebook like chatting etc. Let's do a project and create that using html(entirely). I will call my friends and we will write all the html codes on a paper and then type that on notepad.

Me: FML.

Writing HTML on a paper...

First exam this year, about database optimisation. I have been there just a week and I really enjoy this school

BUT. THIS. CAN'T. BE. TOLERATED.

I wouldn't wish my worst enemy to write SQL on paper goddamnit!!!!

(Yeah I didn't have any other pen that this red one, at least it was erasable)

I just had a Rumpsteak.
Tasted like dry, raw meat with some sawdust on it.
Hell if I printed out my code and ate the paper it'd been better than that.

When you take a break from JavaScript and invest your time on other stuff, you'll realise how paper-thin it is. Java is to JavaScript what Car is to Carpet?

When I wrote a code snippet on an exam paper📄 during college🎓 days and the lecturer compiled ✔️ it without an error.

Working for a large client converting paper forms to the web. Stated goals, simplify data entry for clients, improve data quality, reduce resourcing in backend human processing.

We met to review prototype and discuss workflow questions. Crazy deadlines, with the usual changing scope creep.

We start to point out the need for data validation, to shorten # of questions based on answers.

Business says no. All forms should be submittable regardless of what user enters, don’t put validations in because all that warning messaging confuses them and takes up more time.

Web form should behave like the paper copy....

Welcome to 1975!!! This is why 2018 won’t be like 2018...

An 'older' client, who is a respected doctor, needed a web site to sell a book he authored about cycling trips.

Simple... I thought... Until he literally sent me all the content.. hand written... on pen and paper... via snail mail... Along with barely legible Hand-drawn maps... fml