Join devRant
Do all the things like
++ or -- rants, post your own rants, comment on others' rants and build your customized dev avatar
Sign Up
Pipeless API
From the creators of devRant, Pipeless lets you power real-time personalized recommendations and activity feeds using a simple API
Learn More
-
Our dev team got a new manager. On our first face 2 face meeting:
Manager: So, what technology are we using for web apps?
Me: TypeScript.
Manager: What is TypeScript?
Me: It's a superset of JavaScript.
Manager: Oh I know JavaScript, it's the latest version of Java, right?
Me thinking: He is joking. He tries to be the fun guy. Everyone knows the Java-JavaScript, ham-hamster joke.
Me later, also thinking: No he is not joking. Oh God, this is the end. We are all f*cked!8 -
Me: *hours of coding, develops a feature*
Code: I'm working..
Me: Oh good.. will monitor you for sometime.
Code: Ok, I'm done. I'll stop working now.
Me: WTF
Me: *sits for hours to solve bugs*
And when almost done,
VPN: Someone's having a good day, I'll disconnect you now.
Me: WTF
Me: *tries switching on/off VPN couple of times..*
When it starts to connect,
WIFI: Oh wait!! It's my turn to bid goodbye now. Have a nice day sir
Me: Of course !! The wifi
Me: *restarts router/ troubleshoot etc*
When wifi says connected...
Battery: Good job with wifi.. I'm down now..what you gonna do?
Me: Are you fucking kidding me???
Me: *connects charger, wait for laptop to switch on*
Windows: Updating....
Me: *jumps out window*13 -
My girlfriend sent me this error message from a BIM software which she uses at work. I would like to see more sophisticated error messages from a software with a 4K price tag.
6 -
Fuck MatLab. Fuck Mathworks. Why the fuck do I still have this fucking piece of shit on my computer? Even its logo makes me want to puke.
You think JavaScript is bad? Try MatLab, JavaScript will look like a saint.
You are still virgin? Try MatLab, it will fuck you hard.
Give me one fucking engineer who has to use MatLab and love its nonsense, I dare you!31 -
Summing up many ridiculous meetings I've been in.
Many years ago we hired someone for HR that came from a large fortune 500 company, really big deal at the time.
Over the next 6 months, she scheduled weekly to bi-weekly, 1 to 2 hour meetings with *everyone* throughout the day. Meeting topics included 'How to better yourself', 'Trust the winner inside you'...you get the idea.
One 2-hour meeting involved taking a personality test. Her big plan was to force everyone to take the test, and weed out anyone who didn't fit the 'company culture'. Whatever that meant.
Knowing the game being played, several of us answered in the most introverted, border-line sociopath, 'leave me the frack alone!' way we could.
When she got the test results back, she called an 'emergency' meeting with all the devs and the VP of IS, deeply concerned about our fit in the company.
HR: "These tests results were very disturbing, but don't worry, none of you are being fired today. Together, we can work as team to bring you up to our standards. Any questions before we begin?"
Me: "Not a question, just a comment about the ABC personality test you used."
<she was a bit shocked I knew the name of the test because it was anonymized on the site and written portion>
Me: "That test was discredited 5 years ago and a few company's sued because the test could be used to discriminate against a certain demographic. It is still used in psychology, but along with other personality tests. The test is not a one-size-fits-all."
VP, in the front row, looked back at me, then at her.
HR: "Well....um...uh...um...We're not using the test that way. No one is getting fired."
DevA: "Then why are we here?"
DevB:"What was the point of the test? I don't understand?"
HR: "No, no...you don't understand...that wasn't the point at all, I'm sorry, this is getting blown out of proportion."
VP: "What is getting blown out of proportion? Now I'm confused. I think we all need some cooling off. Guys, head back to the office and let me figure out the next course of action."
She was fired about two weeks later. Any/all documentation relating to the tests were deleted from the server.16 -
How Microsoft devs think about Linux 😁.
This was found inside the index.html of Visual Studio Code editor.
9 -
If you have to program in JavaScript, don't forget to drink water. Excessive crying could dehydrates your body very quickly.3
-
When your colleague, who wrote the API is on vacation, the documentation is non-existent and you are tired from reading all-day long his spaghetti code, so you are just waiting for him to show up.
2 -
🙁
Every girlfriend I had broke up with me and it was not even my fault...
1. A bi cheating on her girlfriend - girlfriend found out
2. Furry cheating on her boyfriend - she felt bad...
3. Hysteric b** that did not trust me for even 1 second
4. Really nice and sweet girl... that could kill me if she did not take her antipsychotics - told me she is sorry but she wants someone older (I am older than her...) - her ex before me was 42....
To clarify: both 1 and 2 did not tell me they were cheating on someone with me... I only found out after the shit hit the fan.
I feel depressed... I just want to love someone and I want that someone to love me... that's it, I don't even want sex, I just want hugs, mutual trust and someone that I could tell anything on my mind without them judging me...30 -
I've read so many stuff in english that it feels really weird to read something in my native language(german). Especially when they're using german words in their code:
public Nahrung mittagessen;
public Gast()
{
mittagessen = new Gericht("Wiener Schnitzel");
}
are you fucking kidding me?!
10 -
My mentor is a GOD. He's a workaholic. He knows everything. The only fucking thing he doesn't know is that his MENTEES ARE NOT HIS FUCKING SLAVES.3
-
Trying to setup a local Overpass API and Nominatim server (OpenStreetMaps data stuff).
The docker overpass image has been downloading a 38gb file for a little more than an hour now and it's coming closer and closer...
3..........
2............
1...............
100% YEAAAA.......
*docker continues to initiate the download of a new file*
"Hmm this can't be THAT bi......"
25gb
D:
Let's wait yet again..... I was so excited :(11 -
"WTF IS THIS?"
Exclaimed the developer that had never bothered to learn proper architectural patterns such as MVC in his web development are, failing to grasp the folder structure that was open in front of him, gasping at those strange php files that contained not only namespace declarations....but requires, uses and GASP! CLASSES!!
"That is Laravel my dude, built that in Laravel some time ago. Been running without an issue ever since." I mentioned as I reminded him that i had provided documentation had he ever needed to update or work with the application(currently it just needed a static page, which is why he had the app open in his editor)
See children. This is why you don't just learn a tool and never bother to learn something else.
Y'all should have seen how confused this dude was.
Das what yo dumbass gets.
OAN I am getting placed into more hardcore Business Intelligence roles.
The ammount of statistics and overall math required is....
Damn near 0. Data Scientists are full of shit. Anyone in an analyst role is full of shit.
I would know.
I IS one.13 -
My neighbor brought me her smartphone because it was too slow. Not only it was an old model with low RAM, but it also wouldn't allow her to install more apps due to that shitty thing of having to install them in the phone storage.
Now you will be asking, what is abnormal about this that I'm writing it here? IT WAS FULL OF BIBLE APPS, JUST WHATSAPP, FACEBOOK AND BIBLES.5 -
I just had my worst hackathon so far and need to puke my whole toxic hatred, the rant will be full of hate so be warned. (I just don't want to let it go on my girlfriend, but I need to shout it out loud somewhere)
First of all, it is alright to be a beginner at a hackathon. It is also alright to not know that much about coding and want to learn. But it is not alright to lie about your skill, pretend to be a senior programmer and waste my fucking time.
Don't even fucking dare to say your are "fit" in Android development if you just have done some foobar tutorial on YouTube, don't even bother to read the document and have literally non existent knowledge about computer science.
Why the fucking hell do you need to pretend to be a seasoned programmer if you are just a bloody beginner? I mean you are in a hackathon full of computer nerds so soon or later your impostor ass will be debunked so what is the point?
And the other guy. Why the fucking hell did.'t you say that you just begin Python for 3 months? You are not a fucking developer if you just started coding for 3 fucking months. Learn some fucking coding before starting with machine learning you fucking punk ass bitch script kiddie.
Alright, maybe I was too naive to not check my teammates' background before make a team with them. Fuck me and my fucking stupid ass. My dumb ass monkey brain fell for big mouths, I deserved the headache right now and none less.
Lesson learned!9 -
Example of really really bad UX. The site consists of more than 50% of the footer and at least 10% of the header.
Whoever designed this shit deserves a shoe deep in his ass.
11 -
Got hired as an SSRS engineer. Walked into work day 1 thinking I was a bad ass with my SQL joes2pros knowledge and quickly (and i mean quickly) got smacked down with what real SQL procs look like........should've renamed my title to SSRS reverse-engineer. Good times.2
-
me: I will major in CS so I can work with computers, not people
narrator: But little did he know...4 -
Look to your left, then look to your right...
All of those devs started out exactly as you are doing now!7 -
If only there were some previous example of a mouse with a cord in a more convenient spot Apple could've used as a reference...
At least you don't need a mouse to commit, push and stare at devRant😅.
4 -
Our team is expanding and our boss hired an agency to find candidates. Today a headhunter on linkedin just offered me this position. Dafuq, at least they could check if I'm not working there on the same position.4
-
Me after a long coding session with a well prepared working flow: I am such a great computer scientist, I can conquer the world.
Right after that I found a repository for computer science papers and got immidiately hooked. Well, the level of knowledge and theory is so immense that it brought me back to ground of reality again: I know so little that it is almost ridiculous, even if I read and code 16 hours a day I may never understand computer science as a whole.
Le me sad.11 -
I just converted a massive project from C to cuda, I renamed everything, and it just worked.
What the fuck have I done wrong?3 -
when the moon hits your eye
like a big pizza pie,
that's amore
when a file you don't need
exceeds 50mb,
.gitignore -
Could the deverloper of this app make the increment and decrement symbols on the right side so I can upvote/downvote posts with my right thumb?
#please?5 -
Why the fuck are Indian software companies under the impression that interns are just junior developers that you are legally allowed to fuck over with shit/no pay. Internships are supposed to be about learning and growth. Every fucking company I apply for has some bullshit bi polar disorder because their requirements state one thing and they ask you other bullshit on the phone or at the interview.
How the fuck do you expect a college student to know React, Django, AWS, Angular, D3, Scala, iOS and whatever buzzword you assholes noticed were trending on quora?
And for fucks sake don't waste my time to call me and ask if I'd be available full time if I mentioned I can only intern part time.
WTF is wrong with these people.6 -
<rant>
Freelance employers should learn that a "full stack" developer does not equal "fully proficient and experienced in everything code and comp. related". ESPECIALLY if the job pays less than 6£ an hour.
</rant>5 -
We're digital plumbers.
90% of this job is figuring out what thing to connect to what thing and then figuring out how to connect them.
Writing the code that goes in-between both ends of the pipe is easy if not trivial 90% of the time.
Meaningful change in this industry is centered around endpoints: contracts, deployments, etc. Nobody needs yet another way to organize and import their leftpad().10 -
So here I am in class with just two weeks of knowledge in coding and this douchebag level 300 comes in like, 'Hey i'm a hacker and mid tier programmer and i can see you struggling with your basic code can i be of help?'... so I'm like, 'yh man. I'm a transfer biology student and i don't know a sh*t about coding but i have managed to buid a fine website of just two pages but i would also like to try hacking but first what programming languages do you know?' Guess what......the lil f*cker said HTML. I mean I may not know much but i know that can and will never be a programming language.11
-
Enough is enough! I can't do it anymore!
...
alias pm='python manage.py'
alias ga='git add .'
alias gc='git commit -a'
alias gi='git init && touch .gitignore && printf ".idea \n venv \n node_modules \n out \n *.iml \n *.log \n build \n target" > .gitignore'
alias gp='git push'
alias gps='git push --set-upstream origin master'
alias gr='git remote add origin'
...
Much better :D12 -
When will medium and its coding tutorials die out already? Why the hell are every fucking post of this plattform so cringy af, like tf why you start your tutorial with a fucking irrelevant meme you dumb asshole? Your code snippet is mostly garbage and you aint explain shit; I am not even sure if the code is yours. Go eat a dick and learn the subject properly before even start to teach people online.6
-
Hired a new BI developer. She tested reasonably ok in SQL, and certainly showed good strengths in visualising data, plus had a good attitude in the interview. We hired her. She broke her laptop the first day. We got her another then she complained the camera didn't work but didn't realise the lever in front of the camera was to move the privacy shutter off and on.
Assigned her some work of taking queries that are used in a BI tool that targets the transactional database directly, and re-jigging them for Snowflake which we're using as a data warehouse now, aggregating all our data into one place. Yet, she's struggling to understand why the SQL query she's pasted in doesn't work as-is.
I go over it again; the source schemas and tables are this, but in Snowflake we've named them this. She then bemoans how much work that is to change them all - I say use find and replace. She then struggles with Snowflake syntax errors and asks for a guide on T-SQL to Snowflake. I show her Google and say "this is what I did when I hit these problems - search for 'Snowflake equivalent to T-SQL getdate()' or 'how to get current date in Snowflake' but she still doesn't understand. I ask if she's every had to work between T-SQL and MySQL or MySQL and PostgreSQL or Oracle and so on and she says yes. I say the syntax isn't the same, is it? And she goes oh, now I understand.
She scored reasonably in her SQL test but I'm now concerned there's something fundamental missing in her grasp of SQL. I gave her a detailed demo of the tools, I explained in the interview and on her start about our move to a data warehouse for all our apps, and put her through some training plus gave her time to work through our Confluence pages - not expecting she'll remember everything, but more to ensure she recalls they exist and what the general contents are.
Anyhow, that's my rant.6 -
Business Intelligence, the most confused market technology has to offer. (Perhaps rivaled only by machine licking. Learning, whatever)
Step 1: develop a product that can replace a company's database guys. Make it cost more than the database guys.
Step 2: Show off product to managers using images of the product that the managers will love, but never have the skills to do themselves.
Step 3: Fucking obviously the managers buy it.
Step 4: Fire half the database staff.
Step 5: Managers give the BI tools to their remaining database guys ANYWAYS and instruct them to use it
Step 6: Database guys spend a month learning the new tool because management "wants to use it too".
Step 7: Database guys now use this new system for reports but have trouble using it for complex use cases, as it was designed for simple use cases. Meanwhile, management will never, ever touch the tool again.
Step 8: Hire new guys for reporting, because the remaining database guys can't complete both their normal tasks *and* the reports.
Step 9: Database guys are expensive. Go to step 1.1 -
21 lines of business logic (including whitespace and comments)
9 lines of build config
386 lines of tests (and tests for the tests)9 -
When programmers troll. The comments of this commit is also legendary: https://github.com/torvalds/linux/...
4 -
College: This is the debugging mode This is a breakpoint. Here you can see the variable values.
Work: print "asfadadadda" and variables and delete lines until it throws a different exception8 -
it's so fucking hot in here and I've got no work and still 3 hours left to go...just let me go hooome!5
-
POV: You fixed a hairy bug at a FAANG as a:
L3: "You're a technical wizard!"
L4: "Good job."
L5: "Why did you allow this into your team's code base?"
L6: "Why didn't you delegate that?"1 -
So I just finished a prototyp for my thesis. Still need to segment the real data myself and collect some statistics stuff to write about the network, but I am pretty proud of the result considering the dataset is very small.
For now I need some god damn sleep.
5 -
I'm addicted to the Visual Studio shortcut ctrl+K - ctrl+D to automatically format my code and hate it when I pull down the latest version and it's not formatted properly. 😲5
-
BI dev: Hey, can you help me with my SQL query?
Me: Sure, let me see it.
BI dev: sends screenshot - not even the whole query, literally a screenshot with a segment of text in it. No errors showing either.
Me: ...7 -
No, you cannot ask us to move our tech meeting elsewhere because we're being "loud", for the same reason we don't ask you to leave the area because your non-work-related chatter is distracting us from our said meeting. It's the only video conferencing system in the joint, and it's not our fault you and your people sit nearby. How dare you go past us and complain to our boss as if we're nothing to you - just because you were recently promoted, don't act like you were never in the trenches with the rest of us. It's like you have no respect for us now that you've gone a step up the ladder. The next time you or your team members try to fuck with us like that over petty shit like this, we're going to bring the hammer down on your asses and burn every last vestige of self-worth you have by making sure you never get a moment's peace. It's bad enough you and your team suck each other off during our bi-weekly department meeting by patting yourselves on the back for doing what's supposed to be your fucking jobs - don't you dare try to drag us down to make yourselves look like fucking saints. That is where I cross the goddamn line.
-
One job I picked up was for an IoT Start Up. It was quite interesting work, reporting to the technical director, who was an electronics engineer, who was designing the hardware himself, they had a couple of firmware guys already, and just needed someone to take care of the software.
So they said they needed something in Azure that they could stream their data to and provide analytics for their clients. It had to be Azure, and it had to be Azure Native, and was to be Multi-client, as they had a deal with Microsoft to showcase how well Azure works in the IoT space at an exhibition/conference in 3 months time.
So I worked flat out for 3 months, on a whole variety of technology, from C++ to get the radio packets from their IoT chip, Python to run on the hub to take the data from the C++ and stream it to the cloud, Azure IoT Hubs in every continent to receive the data and store it an a Cosmos DB, and then Power BI analytics wrapped up in an Angular front end that the clients could log into.
Got it finished 2 days before the show, and they were so pleased I got flown business class to Singapore to be on the stand and talk to customers.
The first sign of trouble was when we arrived at the show to find we just had one of those little circular tables with two stools in the middle of the floor, about two feet across and no power.
No problem, I was able to sort that, swapping laptops in and out.
Microsoft were really happy with what we had, and couldn't believe I had thrown it all together in 3 months.
We picked up a potential customer for the system, a major Asian Telecoms company.
Then when we got home, the CEO swooped in. I had never met this guy before. Imagine one of the VC guys from Silicon Valley, or the CEO from the IT Crowd. You get the picture. Could talk the hind leg of a donkey, and real street smart, but no brains. He insisted on "taking it from here" and flew alone to strike the deal with the customer. Came back with an MOU in his pocket and said to me, their guys will be in touch with you.
Then I got a call. Can you send us the source code and tell us how what servers we have to run this on?
Um, its cloud native.
No, we can't use a cloud it has to be on our servers - your CEO told us that was no problem..
He hadn't even taken the trouble to find out what it was we had built, and what he was selling.1 -
Customer: I have a problem with the new BI program.
Me: ok, show me what's wrong.
Customer: when I double-click the icon the program start but does not do anything else...
Me: because you didn't ask anything to the program, you have to launch the utilities by clicking menus like, for example, to make a New report or to Open another report pre-saved.. the program doesn't know what you think.
Customer: ah.......ok, maybe It's time for me to put a paper bag (like for bread) on my head and do 5 minutes of embarassment lonely -
I always thought i could use some extra hours a day, but 40 seems a little excessive...
This is also the first time i encountered such a bug in the wild, and i'm way more excited than i should be, hehe.
5 -
//rant
So I'm a BI consultant, been doing this for about 6 years now, and I'm pretty good at the data stuffs. Now I had to complete a project for a client where we call a web service and it had to be done in .NET. I wrote a console app in C# that called the WS, dumped the data then a stored proc processed the staging tables into final tables that our visualization tool can consume.
It works, it's done.
Mind you I'm not a pure .NET developer.
And now that it's completed and working this fucking .NET dude that works for my client is basically giving me an attitude talking about "why wasn't it done as a Windows service? Blah, blah" Like WTF!!??? I get that he's the C# BSD but like chill bruh!!
It's annoying as fuck having to work on projects that are not your area of EXPERTISE and then be ridiculed by other elitist assholes about it.
Doesn't happen much, but fuck it's something I hate about dev. FYI, if it was the opposite I would just be asking questions for understanding, not being a sarcastic prick.
//rant done5 -
So, I accidentally hit a tourist near the bus stop. He shouted something in french in anger. A guy near told me he is abusing.
In anger, I shouted , " printf bi*ch" .. -
Compiling software on Linux:
Python interpreter? Easy peasy, just some dependencies here and there. Make does a good job.
Linux kernel? Piece of cake, 20 years of development will be freshly served on your machine after one hour compiling (I have a pretty powerful computer).
Tensorflow? Fuck this shit I am outta.
What is your story with self-built software? Which piece of code has the most terrible dependency hell?5 -
My two cent: Java is fucking terrible for computer science. Why the fuck would you teach somebody such a verbose language with so many unwritten rules?
If you really want your students to learn about computer, why not C? Java has no pointer, no passed by reference, no memory management, a lots of obscure classes structure and design pattern, this shit is garbage. The student will almost never has contact with the compiler, many don't even know of existence of a compiler.
Java is so enterprise focused and just fucked up for educating purpose. And I say it as somebody who (still) uses it as main language.
If you want your students to be productive and learn about software engineering, why not Python? Things are simple in Python can can be done way easier without students becoming code monkeys (assuming they don't use for each task a whole library). I mean java takes who god damn class and an explicitly declared entry point which is btw. fucking verbose to print something into the console.
Fuck Java.17 -
Any fun self-hosted app or useful services you guys use on your own server?
For some weeks I have started to host my own git repository with gogs and take continious development into my control with jenkins and feel pretty neat.
Now I understand why my grandmother loves to raise her own food even when she could buy everything in the supermarket.11 -
An example of today's generation:
My little cousin 22 years old wants to get into BI Dev. I tell him to read a certain book. The book has practice examples and various things that are hands on.
What does he do?
He READS the book and is like, "ask me any question and I know the answer". So I'm like, "fine, what's the structure of a basic SQL statement?", after some hard thought he's like, "SELECT * FROM?" I'm like, "ok.....how would you filter that?" and he's like, "you got me man........no clue".
What didn't he do?
Practice.
I mean.........come on.3 -
Changing the native browser scrollbar should warrant the death penalty.
Do not make it narrower. Do not make the colors blend with the background. Do not hijack it its functionality. Do not minimize it until I hover.
I am so fucking tired of websites that think they are in charge of my browsing "experience" and hide or otherwise marginalize the single most useful part of the page's UI.4 -
Step 1. Have no dissertation project.
Step 2. Wait for the last 3 hours till the deadline to come up with an idea.
Step 3. Realise that your just-thought-up project idea is something companies like Google and Amazon are still trying to figure out. But there is no time left.
Step 4: Approach your supervisor with the words "Imagine the possibilities". They respond with "Imagine the difficulty".
Step 5: They sign on it regardless since they are curious to see you fuck up with style, also you are too much in love with your idea already, and refuse to drop it.
Step 6: fml4 -
Fresh internship story (Part 3)
Turns out my coworker with a mental disorder(adhs and idk what you call it. He is 24 years old, but is mentally between 16 and 18) is gay.
ATTENTION: DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER SINCE THIS IS GOING TO GET DISGUSTING!
My cheap coworker's name is Justin btw. I felt a weird atmosphere when I joined the team. Justin seemed to be a hetero guy. (I am generally assuming that every guy and girl I met is hetero). But he had his slightly "gay moves".
Yesterday, I was curious about it and asked him about why he was afraid about the police to identify him on a video to start the conversation. He told me that his ex did cheat on him. Since I assumed that he was hetero I asked if the girl was cheating on him. He got embarrassed.
him:"I uhmm... am... not hetero. I am...*stops talking*"
me:"What? Are you bi? Are you gay? What are you?"
him:"I am gay."
me:"Oh... *tries to hide the shock* I see.*silence for a minute*"
me:"What is the name of your ex?"
Justin:"Fabian. Fabian had a video and pictures of me and he put them online and did spread them with everyone. After that I got punched by some dudes. Now I want to take my revenge."
me:"... well... now that makes sense.*silence*"
I felt sorry for him and decided to keep listening. I made a wrong decision there.
2 hours later he told me how he got gay, because I wanted to know if he was born gay or if he became gay.
He told me his whole life was full of sex.
He found a sextape of his parents and jerked off to it without cuming since he did not even hit puberty yet. Then he had sex with a 6 year old girl and then with a 12 year old girl when he was 8 or something in both cases.
Later he got into a place full of guys.
He first started jerking off to hetero porn among the dudes. I wonder how he got no shame while doing it. Anyways, after that he began to feel something for boys and less for girls since boys were able to understand him more than girls. Then he became gay and his sex life with boys started.
It was very disgusting, but I wanted to know it.
next morning:
*he keeps talking about how Fabian fucked him outside in the bushes and I keep ignoring him*8 -
Todays story: conversation between me and my brain about a app that i have planned for a long while.
The application is just a huge, specyfic json editor/manager for a game that i like. The game uses json files to determine unit charactetistics. So in order to make modding easier i want to make a tool for that that is fancier and easier to use than a notepad.
Brain> Lets make a app that allows you to mod the game easier!
Me> Good idea. How would you want to make it?
Brain> Lets use C# cause you main that lang currently and you have experience with json parser lib.
Me> That is true. So what do you wanna implement first?
Brain> Oh. I have thought about it before! I want to implement: (10 000 features) and maybe few more later!
Me> It sounds like a infinity project, shouldnt you implement like 1 or 2 features at first and then jump to other ones?
Brain> Yes... but i dont wanna refactor those features latter so let just implement them all at once!
Me> Dammit brain! Let just implement just one feature now! Like a simple json editor. You can use inhieritance to reuse the code later.
Brain> Ok...
* Starts with that one feature but one day later starts coding 6 more *
* Cant publish the app yet, the code looks like shit, gui is unfinished because brain wanted only to test those 6 unfinished features without propely implementing them *
Me> Brain WTF! You said that you are going to focus on one feature at the time!
Brain> I got carried a bit...
Me> ...
Me> Ok. I understand. Let just refactor the code and clean the project out of those unfinished features.
Brain> No. I have a depression now...
Me> FUCK.
* 2 month passes by without any progress on ANY of my projects*
current day
Brain> I still have depression...
Me> Ok i dont care about that anymore! Tell me something that i dont know!
Brain> Oh I have good news as well!
Me> ???
Brain> What about the home server that is going to store all mods made by the users so they can share it? It would be a good practice with networking!
Me> * Gives up *1 -
My bi-annual ritual:
1. Get home after 5 months
2. By cheap ear/head-phones
3. Use them for the next 5 months till they wear out
4. Repeat
😂😂
Also watches. But I gave up on those back in school.😛1 -
"What is your project status? I need an update!"
So spoke the team leader. I was mildly hesitant about just rudely leaving work - which I was about to do, I was literally halfway out the building - without answering and delaying to Monday.
My project leader - the one that is supposed to look after me and my project every now and then - is on vacation. He's also the one, who is supposed to update the team leader.
It's not that we don't talk regularly, apart from his questions every two months or so, he is informed about my project on a bi-to-tri-weekly basis whether he wants it or not.
The team leader on the other hand seemed quite uninformed about my project.
Wouldn't it be nice if people would fucking talk to each other?!
Other than that, I'm learning C# for roughly six months now and today was the day it all started making sense. OO is a concept that is hard for me to grasp - I understand it, but I continuously failed to implement it. (That I have no regular code review right now isn't helping.)
Today, it just clicked.
I feel kind of stupid and in awe at the same time right now. :D2 -
Linux users, do you admin your server manually or do you use any web interface tool? After getting the third server of the day running I think I need a tool to make the work faster. Do you have any recommendation? Cpanel ist pretty neat but sadly not free10
-
Sprint 0: This design is the appropriate amount of engineering abstraction.
Sprint 2: This is over-engineered, too much work
Sprint 5: This is under-engineered, too many edge cases
Sprint 10: This is over-engineered, component Foo could be replaced by a bash script
Sprint 42: Foo is now the cornerstone of half our business logic2 -
Dear Microsoft power bi team.
Go fuck yourself. Put that dashboard up your ass. The documentation for this is a joke.
The doc says I can get my tokens from azure portal. But guess what. The portal is a sea. And seems like powerbi is moved out from portal to its own powerbi.fuckyoumicrosoft.com
What the actual fuck you dimwits. Why don't you document it properly ?
For fuck sake. Go show up your analytics deep into your pie chart.2 -
It all starts with a small regex script to automate my coding session. Now I start to automate every shit I used to hate (without notice it).
Where was Python all my life. Where was it when I have to configure my server, run integration tests or benchmark all by myself. The past was really scary 😂5 -
Management: "You are the DBA and BI head right?"
Me: "yes..."
Management: "Awesome, so that means you can develop a quick software for me to use? It's really easy!"
Me: "Awesome, here are two options since its easy, you go make it yourself or..."
Management: "Is that sarcasm?"
Me: "...or you can ask the accountant to make it"
IT Director: "you deserved that bob." -
This week at work I spent 20 hours debugging automated tests to avoid manual testing that would've taken a few hours.5
-
4 a.m. I got a nocturnal leg cramp so bad that I had to reinstall this app. Fuck forced homeoffice.4
-
Yesterday my tests caught more typos in copy/paste test cases than in actual logic.
'twas was a decent day.2 -
One crucial lesson I learned while diving into programming:
Use various learning resources. Everyone explains things a little different.
You can understand stuff much easier. -
Spent hours troubleshooting an internal app that had zero logging today. It would just terminate, no exceptions, no feedback to the debugger, NOTHING.
Turned out to be the damn corporate virus scanner blocking "malicious" behaviour. Good thing my desk is so heavy or I woulda flipped it... -
I think I just miiiight have found a new job, but before, some comments about the state of the data engineering industry:
- Sooooooo many people outsource it. Man, outsourcing your data teams is like seeing the world through an Apple Vision Pro fused to your skull. Fine if it is working well, but you will go blind of your subscription expires. Or if Apple decides to ban you. Or if they decide to abandon the product... you are entirely dependent on their whims. In retrospect this is par for the course, I guess.
- Lots of companies think data engineering *starts* with an SQL database. Oh, honey, I have some bad news.
- Quite a few expect MS POWER BI will be able to deliver REAL TIME DASHBOARDS summarizing TERABYTES of data sourced from SQL SERVER (or similar). Facepalm.
- Nearly all think the handling of data engineering products is just like that of software engineering. Just try. I dare you.
- Why people think that "familiarity in several SQL dialects" is something to brag about?
- Shit, startups. Startups are dead, boomers. Deader than video rental physical stores.
That's all. On to the next round of interviews! -
Fuck me why do my unit tests pass with garbage input.
I can't go into a long weekend with this shit in my head rent free.3 -
Without CSS, all websites are perfectly responsive and look great on any device or screen size. We break them with CSS, then need to fix them... ponder that a bit.
By Timothy Smith on CSS-tricks.com (https://css-tricks.com/hmtl-css-and...)10 -
When I first began with Python I really missed the static typed checking from Java, I barely know anything about a returned object from a method and have to read the API extensively for every new library.
After a while I finally understand why Python is so powerful, the combination of dynamic typed language and rich default methods make the language unbeatable for your productivity.
While Java's Object only has toString(), hashCode(), equals() or clone(), Python's basic Class has every fucking method for every scenario I could ever image. No wonder that libraries like numpy or pandas work so well and fluidly.8 -
Security is a joke. And people don't seem to get it. Especially Data mungers.
I've spent about half an hour trying to work out how to securely connect to power BI using PowerShell in a renewable manner for unattended access later on.
Every single example I've found seems to involve you storing $user and $password variables inside your script. If I'm lucky, they're going to pass them through ConvertTo-SecureString. And nobody talks about securely storing AD auth tokens, or using the Windows Credential Manager.
I know it's possible, but it's going to take me ages to work out how from all sorts of disparate sources...16 -
i was about to talk about golang - but it can wait.
snapchat's discover section is TERRIBLE. the amount of BULLSHIT, INCORRECT INFORMATION, AND PURE IDIOCY IS MAKING IT TERRIBLE.
now, usually, i rant about mashable when i say it's terrible. AT LEAST WHEN MASHABLE WROTE ABOUT THIS THEY WERE CORRECT. but no, alas, my faith in humanity is put to an all time end. a new evil has arose, by the name of "wired."
of course, and incredibly late to the party, a "tech" outlet wrote about bitcoin. the headline was "is bitcoin killing the planet?" IT HAS BEEN POSSIBLY THE STUPIDEST ARTICLE IVE READ OF ALL TIME. THEY CLEARLY HAVE NO IDEA ABOUT ANY SHIT THEYRE TALKING ABOUT.
let's take a look at the TWO facts they got wrong, and displayed to over a MILLION people.
now, instead of just GOOGLING TWO SIMPLE FACTS, THEY DECIDED TO JUST WRITE RANDOM SHIT.
ENOUGH WAITING - HERE THE THE TWO FACTS THEY GOT WRONG
picture 1: bitcoin up $900 in the last year? THE LAST MOTHER FUCKING, COCK SUCKING
.
.
.
YEAR?!?
WHY DO SUCH DUMBASSES HAVE ACCESS TO SOMETHING MILLIONS VIEW?
IT MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE
picture two: the actual fuck????
did i just read that?
b- bi- bitcoin will "run dry" BY 2032.
i think i finally figured it out.
these facts, they're literally just random number.
<thoughtBubble>
i can see it now:
wired employee 1: hey, guess what number im thinking of?
wired employee 2: 14?
wired employee 1: *screaming* BITCOIN WILL RUN DRY IN 14 YEARS
</thoughtBubble>
how do these people get hired. do they hire only hire 12 year old interns? im genuinely asking. does anyone know?
okay, end of rant. plz continue complaining about dumbasses who have power thru the media in tech8 -
"Our Data Service comes PRE-P0WN'D"
Those SHIT-FOR-BRAINS data service providers GLOAT that their data can be natively integrated into most BI platforms, no code required.
How? Because they will EXPOSE THE ENTIRE FUCKING THING ON THE INTERNET.
LITERALLY.
UNAUTHENTICATED URL WITH THE ENTIRE DATASET.
STATIC. WON'T EVER FUCKING CHANGE.
NO VPN REQUIRED. NO AUTHENTICATION HEADERS. NO IN-TRANSIT ENCRYPTION.
"It is safe! No one will know the secret token that is a parameter in the url"
BLOODY BYTE BUTTS, BATMAN! IT IS A FUCKING UNAUTHENTICATED URL THAT DOES NOT REQUIRES RENEWAL NOR A VPN, IT WILL LEAK EVENTUALLY!
That is the single fucking worst SELF-P0WN I have ever seen.
Now I know why there are fucking toddlers "hacking" large scale databases all over the globe.
Because there are plenty of data service providers that are FUCKING N00BS.4 -
It's been a while DevRant!
Straight back into it with a rant that no doubt many of us have experienced.
I've been in my current job for a year and a half & accepted the role on lower pay than I normally would as it's in my home town, and jobs in development are scarce.
My background is in Full Stack Development & have a wealth of AWS experience, secure SaaS stacks etc.
My current role is a PHP Systems Developer, a step down from a senior role I was in, but a much bigger company, closer to home, with seemingly a lot more career progression.
My job role/descriptions states the following as desired:
PHP, T-SQL, MySQL, HTML, CSS, JavaScript, Jquery, XML
I am also well versed in various JS frameworks, PHP Frameworks, JAVA, C# as well as other things such as:
Xamarin, Unity3D, Vue, React, Ionic, S3, Cognito, ECS, EBS, EC2, RDS, DynamoDB etc etc.
A couple of months in, I took on all of the external web sites/apps, which historically sit with our Marketing department.
This was all over the place, and I brought it into some sort of control. The previous marketing developer hadn't left and AWS access key, so our GitLabs instance was buggered... that's one example of many many many that I had to work out and piece together, above and beyond my job role.
Done with a smile.
Did a handover to the new Marketing Dev, who still avoid certain work, meaning it gets put onto me. I have had a many a conversation with my line manager about how this is above and beyond what I was hired for and he agrees.
For the last 9 months, I have been working on a JAVA application with ML on the back end, completely separate from what the colleagues in my team do daily (tickets, reports, BI, MI etc.) and in a multi-threaded languages doing much more complicated work.
This is a prototype, been in development for 2 years before I go my hands on it. I needed to redo the entire UI, as well as add in soo many new features it was untrue (in 2 years there was no proper requirements gathering).
I was tasked initially with optimising the original code which utilised a single model & controller :o then after the first discussion with the product owner, it was clear they wanted a lot more features adding in, and that no requirement gathering had every been done effectively.
Throughout the last 9 month, arbitrary deadlines have been set, and I have pulled out all the stops, often doing work in my own time without compensation to meet deadlines set by our director (who is under the C-Suite, CEO, CTO etc.)
During this time, it became apparent that they want to take this product to market, and make it as a SaaS solution, so, given my experience, I was excited for this, and have developed quite a robust but high level view of the infrastructure we need, the Lambda / serverless functions/services we would want to set up, how we would use an API gateway and Cognito with custom claims etc etc etc.
Tomorrow, I go to London to speak with a major cloud company (one of the big ones) to discuss potential approaches & ways to stream the data we require etc.
I love this type of work, however, it is 100% so far above my current job role, and the current level (junior/mid level PHP dev at best) of pay we are given is no where near suitable for what I am doing, and have been doing for all this time, proven, consistent work.
Every conversation I have had with my line manager he tells me how I'm his best employee and how he doesn't want to lose me, and how I am worth the pay rise, (carrot dangling maybe?).
Generally I do believe him, as I too have lived in the culture of this company and there is ALOT of technical debt. Especially so with our Director who has no technical background at all.
Appraisal/review time comes around, I put in a request for a pay rise, along with market rates, lots of details, rates sources from multiple places.
As well that, I also had a job offer, and I rejected it despite it being on a lot more money for the same role as my job description (I rejected due to certain things that didn't sit well with me during the interview).
I used this in my review, and stated I had already rejected it as this is where I want to be, but wanted to use this offer as part of my research for market rates for the role I am employed to do, not the one I am doing.
My pay rise, which was only a small one really (5k, we bring in millions) to bring me in line with what is more suitable for my skills in the job I was employed to do alone.
This was rejected due to a period of sickness, despite, having made up ALL that time without compensation as mentioned.
I'm now unsure what to do, as this was rejected by my director, after my line manager agreed it, before it got to the COO etc.
Even though he sits behind me, sees all the work I put in, creates the arbitrary deadlines that I do work without compensation for, because I was sick, I'm not allowed a pay rise (doctors notes etc supplied).
What would you do in this situation?4 -
#Apple #FaceID
Yet another step towards the God's eye in Fast & Furious. Since it requires a 360 scan of a face, CIA just requires a photo to find anyone in the planet who's using an iPhone X [Stands for Expensive]. There's a reason why Apple ditched the fingerprint sensor.
RIP #Privacy 😶
5 -
Out of nowhere my Linux Mint crashed and I can only enter emergency mode. What the hell Mr. Torvalds?
Thank god my home folder is in a separated partition and all my data is on remote git but I am atill very annoyed since the crash was in middle of my tunnel blick.13 -
my fist job... i get to edit a c++ code written by a (mind you) programming company that they teamed with for the past(mind you again) 3 years ...
now just for starters, this code was edited by self taught coders that are really good engineers(they are really good), that didnt really know how the code worked before yet they still changed it, and it worked, how ever they wanted some changes.
i get the project files, and there is not one single comment describing what is happening... only code commented out... and no documentation what so ever were done....
so below are some of my comments that i wrote after i finished adding what i had to add, and fixing what i had to fix:
/*first rule of C anything coding, no actual functions in the header, well let me introduce you to a fully functioning thread running program all in the header, enjoy*/
//used to control the thread
// i honestly dont know why, but it worked soooooo yea...
// TG uncommented // for absolutely no reason what so ever...
//used to communicate with the port
//the message to be sent to the inverter, which has a code that will handle it
//hmmmmmm...
//again not usefull since we are using radioButtons
// same ...
// same ...
// same ...
// they said they dont even use this mode, but none the less, same ...
// calculate the checksum for the message
// ....
// one of the things that work, and god forbids i touch
// used for the status displayed on screen
// used for the (censored :P) status in the message
// used for the (censored :P) status in the message
// not used at all, but the message structure contains it and i refuse to edit that abomination
// used for the (censored :P) status in the message
// used for the (censored :P) status in the message
// just dont ask and roll with it, i didnt want to touch this
// saaaaame ...
// if before true this saaaaaame ...
// value of the (censored :P)
// it pains me to say it again, but this is no use
// (censored :P) input
// (censored :P) input
// only place seen , like for real it was just defined,sooooo yea :D
// well you know how it is
// message string
// check sum string
/****below from feed back****/
// (censored :P) coming in
// (censored :P) coming in
// (censored :P) coming in
// (censored :P)
/****below is the output to the receiver ****/
//(censored :P)
// (censored :P)
// (censored :P)
// (censored :P)
//you thought we were done.... nope, no idea. it comes in the feedback
// not used, literally commented out the one time it was used
// same ...
// XD, man this is a blast, same ...
// nope ...
// used to store the port chosen for the communication
// is a static for the number of data we have recorded so far, and as a row indicator for the recording method
// used to indicate the page we are on in the excel file, as well as the point in physical point in the test
// same ... oh look at this a positive same :D
// same ...
// same ...6 -
Docker is a fuckin bi*ch... build success at #22. What a Friday! Tomowzz gonna be lit if I don't get any calls tonight.
-
How long does it take you guys to learn Node JS?
My professor wants me to work for him on a CRUD Server for a semester, I have some experience with JavaScript and API programming with Spring Boot. Should I take the offer and learn more about Node at home?
I think I will feel like an imposter if I take the offer if I don't have any previous experience in the stack11 -
Wasting time of 20+ developers to deliver a 'how to use a bug reporting system', coz:
- you've only 2 newembers in team, and
- just to have a bi-weekly meeting.
Is not productive, motivating and wise by any means.
Combined $$$/hr amount here is quite an important metric.2 -
Does anyone knows about OLAP cubes, Rollups and whatsoever?
I'm wondering if this query it's overcomplicated...
Just trying to achieve a sum of amounts by month on a year lapse
6 -
Does anyone else feel like he is choking the device when holding a button to force reset/shutdown?
Or is it just me angry with my Asus notebook with Windows 10 that would keep the LED on after "shutdown"?3 -
Seriously, I never understood all the memes about google chrome eating ram. I am used to opening like tons of tabs and my general ram usage never exceeds 4GBs. What is the fuckery with all hatred against chrome, someone please explain!
9 -
How well do you speak git? Name all commands you know how to use 😄:
init, add, commit, remote, cherrypick, push, rm, rebase, reset, submodule.
Did I miss something?16 -
Been invited to a bi-weekly meeting about a project that I'm not even working on yet.
I think I'll just go and cut my own brake cables then drive home. -
Hey Linux users!
I'm coming from a pure Windows background, and is going to make the change to Linux:Debian this weekend, and is looking for recommendations on material for learning commands and other possible features the OS might contain.
Working mostly with web dev and some Datawarehouse/BI applications.
Hoping for a smooth transition!5 -
i started a new job as a BI consultant. I thought that it included programming but it does not in my case :/3
-
!rant
EULA proposition for broke developers with no legal knowledge whatsoever (like me): “By installing/using this software you agree not to sue me.”
??? git good4 -
I feel fucking proud of myself.
I spent the better part of three days trying to figure out how to compile source code on Linux using ./configure and stuff and best place to put the compiled source after running make and it all works. It's such a small thing but seeing as I've been tarnished with Windows this is a great accomplishment to me.
Also because I wasted days figuring this out, jumping to multiple topics, progressing deeper and deeper into different topics to figure it out... abstraction would've been nice... -
When systems throttles your bandwidth during load tests and doesn't tell you, and you waste an afternoon investigating1
-
BI guys ask us to avoid deploy on Fridays cause they don't have time to fix their stuff.
"We cannot test until it is live..." They said.
I hate guys who prefer production driven development.2 -
Interviewed with a company, it was a direct hire SQL Dev/Analyst role(ETL,BI etc). Had three interviews in a row all of which went great. We laughed, I was able to answer every technical question with no problem. Each person clearly enjoyed the interview, I ended up going over the specified amount of time set aside for the interview... Still didn't get the job. They said "There is no doubt he can do the job, but we don't think he's passionate enough about the position." What?!?! So confused. It's also odd to me because every job before this If I had an in person interview I was offered the job... I don't get it.4
-
Oh God! I have a java exam coming up in two days and i'm so not done with my project work for evaluation. Truth is, i haven't even started yet since i was so focused on building up my javascript knowlegde. I'm fucked.4
-
My road trip still lasts for another 5 hours and my laptop does not have power anymore 😧😧😧
I could refactor or comment so much code. Maybe add even more loggings and unit tests, but noooo 😔4 -
My monday started with boss calling me at 0730 asking if I could do a support-mission at the offices of the local landfill - this because 2 of the support people had called in sick and we where short on manpower. RIGHT! I said, with a sense of dread and disbelief. ended up spending much of the day there. fixing everything from default reader of pdf to calibration of mouse sensitivity.
It's not like I need to code or anything, since I am working on two different projects and in competition of a third. Finally came back to the office after been at the landfill until lunch and got another support mission; this time internal mission. namely write out from our companys database and import the data to an absolute atrocity called PowerBI so our accountant get the numbers......... FINE!!! I'll do that too, but dont come to me and cry when the project delivery date gets postponed into eternity!!!3 -
Quickly delete a double record in the production database with a script, just forgot the where statement...2
-
Hello sysadmins, silly question but can I consider Python as a serious alternative to powershell/bash? I have always hidden myself from learning bash considering myself not that kind of guy hacking around in Linux. Thanks in advance4
-
I am pretty pissed that Coursera doesn't have dark theme and every plugin ever will fuck up their videos. This is madness, my eyes hurt.4
-
I hate application launchers.
When i start an application, i WANT IT TO START. What i don’t want is your bullshit, custom, logo and splash screen infested piece of shit launcher to start up, with the only option of loading a project or file up, or worse than that, when the only option is to start the fucking application, which should have already happened.
Also, splash screens. Fuck your 5second branded splash screen when your cocksucking application has the fucking loading footprint of MS Notepad.2 -
Co-worker that is non-tech oriented:
"So what do BI developers do?"
Me:
"Well...." start simple then get uber complicated.
Co-worker:
"Oh ok cool. Well my LAN isn't working, can you help me?" -
Things nobody told you when starting to learn a new programming language:
Congratulations! You became a collector. From now on you will collect websites, books and a ton of related software.4 -
Silly question: what is the main difference between a procedural programming paradigm and a functional paradigm?7
-
1) A widely used compressing algorithm as my very own invention.
2) Master electrical engineering
3) An universal OS Kernel as my own invention. I will declare war on Linux and Windows -
Just found out about JSON API: https://jsonapi.org/
In a nutshell, it's a very standardized REST API and feels very good to use. Let's see if the standard will be accepted by the market.2 -
Do you have a routine? I work from home everyday since quarantine and I don't think we are going back to the office.
I would like to be more productive, not in the sense of forcing myself to do more job and add more stress, no one is complaining about the time it takes me to finish tasks.
I'm looking for a way to scatter my working hours so I have chunks of focus and chunks of breaks in which I go out for a walk or something instead of a big chunk of focus mixed with distraction. I'm behaving as if it were a "9-5 job" when it is actually "8 hours per day" with flexible schedule.8 -
I've complained about this friend who I help out with a side project before and I don't know how to deal with this anymore.
He decided he wants to send out a free weekly newsletter with content that takes a lot of time to create.
He got burned out from all of the work. I tell him to only do it bi-weekly. Still doesn't listen.
He doesn't work, whereas I have a full-time job, his mom feeds him and does everything for him.
Someone on the newsletter said they didn't receive a newsletter they signed up for and now he's dumping that on me. I refuse to deal with it. I have paid a lot of my own money for the website he uses to post stuff. He knows more about the newsletter software than I do. The least he can do is deal with the people on Discord and the email newsletter issues, because I honestly don't have time. He has a solar generator at his house, so he can work through the power outages we have on a daily basis, I do not.
He keeps wanting to give out free shit to people, whereas I told him this side project needs to start making money to make it worthwhile for me. He's always making excuses that he doesn't have money, blah blah blah. We designed a cool magazine and it's pretty much finished, but now he's stalling with things he needs to do to get it published on Drivethrurpg.
He just hassled me again to check this gmail I made for him to use for the newsletter and this YouTube he wants to start. I told him, no I haven't had time.
The other day I went to his house to hang out, he gave me a taste of his home made ginger beer and I said it's great, but then he went and drank a pint of it without even offering me some, right in my face. His mom came out and asked me an hour later if I wanted tea. These people are weird. Maybe I am weird.
He also doesn't use the project management software I showed him how to use, so I don't know what's going on. And I told him this a couple of times.
Think I should tell this dude that I don't have time to work on this stuff? And how do I do it politely, yet sternly?5 -
Serious question, which language would Iron man rather code in? The billionare genius may have too little time to write his whole infrastructure in C/C++. My bet is on Python since it provide every feature a super hero, who has lots to do might need16
-
My team for the uni project is quite big (8 people) and we need to create a progressive web app. The problem is I am the only one who know some JavaScript and I am not even good at it. Does somebody have tips how to learn web dev quickly?4
-
Not a rant but a question/style.
What do you prefer and why?:
if(condition)
vs
if (condition == true)
and
if (!condition)
vs
if (condition == false)
vs
if (condition != true)17 -
Studying is frustrating.
I'm in school for IT Engineering and my country decided, that universities have to be in half contact and half non-contact classes, so I have to attend bi-weekly. The other week I'm supposed to join online classes, where the whiteboard is recorded with a 2009 laptop's webcam and the audio is also internal, if even the freaking teacher manages to not forget to start the teams meeting.2 -
Recently briefed a manager that we need to adjust Q2 plans to address the institutional knowledge lost during layoffs.
Yes, I know, write documentation, etc. This is reality, all our shit ain't documented.2 -
Unlimited time is impossible... But I don't wanna ramble.
The one thing that I absolutely miss in my kind of work is something that does exist in dozens of flavors and each existence promises to solve some thing...
It's "bug tracker" / "time management" / "ticket management" / "board" / "kanban" or what ever pervert method you prefer software.
I haven't seen a decent one.
I'd think I'd want to build one - it would be definitely an all time consuming effort, since I would be in dire need of specialists.
The thing with nearly all of the solutions is that they lack ... an associative mindset.
Simply put, what we humans can.
The longer a project exists, the more it's housekeeping (guess that's a better word for it) turns into maintenance nightmare.
I remember quite well the joy of puzzling together eg Jira / Bugzilla / ... complex search formulars trying to find the needle in a planet of hay.
If you're read so far and have had similar experiences, think about how nice it would be if you had a mixture of AI and BI doing exactly that.
BI / Business Intelligence to get meaningful statistics is possible, but without AI it's a lot of work.
The AI would need to do several things...
- Match information (eg version XY was released at XY, so each bugreport after XY belongs to version XY and higher if no version matched)
- Tag and categorize (crashed / faulted / fried / ... - tag crash)
- "do the mundane work": ask nicely if the marching / tagging and so on was right, ask for missing info, require feedback etc.
There's a lot I could write more about that topic. But that's the gist. ;) -
After I finished the university, I felt like I didn't know anything. I'm learning everyday something new in my work (I'm working 8 years as a dev), but I can't say comfortably that I'm good at programming. After work I'm going home, where I learn and practice new things and deepen my understanding of the core concepts, but again, I feel like I don't know anything. Will I ever feel that I'm a good programmer?2
-
horror stories from my old job: we had to ask to get the internet 'turned on' (of course only for a short period of time), you had to disable loading images, because otherwise you'd have to wait for fucking EVER til you could safely move your mouse and: Google had a massive lag when you scrolled. let me repeat that: GOOGLE. LAGGED. I didn't even know that was fucking possible! and the worst part: my old job was at a software dev company. not a shitty IT department at -I don't know- a bakery?! I mean, wtf?! and it wasn't even a start up. and they still exist! how? why?! I'm still not sure how I managed to work there for five months...1
-
I have passed 3 interview levels including the coding test for a big telecoms company. After 2 weeks i get a 15 minute phone-interview in which I answered all the tech questions correctly and yesterday I received an email saying my application was unsuccessful. WTF...literally.
P.S.
I even said I was Bi-sexual in case they wanted diversity :D1 -
!dev
I used to like apples Autocorrect. I use the english and german keyboard.
but since my main language is english and I only write german when chatting with my family, sometimes I'm too lazy to switch keyboards.
Now the german and english corrections kinda got messed up.
it started to correct my intentions like:
Such - Sich
Nein - Nine
Dich - Dick
Gut - But
Fuck - Duck (don't know where that came from)
...
which can lead to unfortunate sentences.
So I decided to disable auto correct about a week ago.
What I realized is.. it's fucking impossible to type precise on a fucking smartphone without it.
even this rant took me about 10min to write..4 -
In spent more than an hour trying to figure out why a form didn't work.
I pressed the submit button and nothing happened, no error in the console and nothing in the Network tab in Chrome's devtools. And the action was being executed!
Then I found out there was a catch somewhere. I removed and it said that the url was wrong. But again, I debugged it and nothing seemed wrong. I even hardcoded the values.
At the end, it turned out that the initial "/" was missing in the request url... -
wow!!! it's been long but i had to rant this........My course's teaching assisstant gave me a fricking B in his Interrim assessment all because i used the pow() function in php. He said it's only available in C++ so im wrong about the whole question.2
-
@dfox - yall should publish some metrics on devrant, maybe a punchcard graph for rants per minute? think it would be kind of cool to see how rapidly the community is growing2
-
Hi guys,
can somebody recommend me a digital camera, which can be controlled programmatically by computer aka. Rasberry Pi?
I want to try some image processing algorithms and time lapse on live video. The price should be around 200-300$ and it is really important that I can program it.3 -
- Finish "Introduction to algorithms"
- Learn some genetic algorithms
- Get my hands dirty on reinforcement learning
- Learn more about data streaming application (My currently app is still using plain stupid REST to transport image). I don't know, maybe Kafka and RabbitMQ.
- Learn to implement some distributed system prototypes to get fitter at this topic. There must be more than REST for communicating between components.
- Implementing a searching module for my app with elastic search.
- Employ redis at sometime for background tasks.
- Get my handy dirty on some operating system concepts (Interprocess Communication, I am looking at you)
- Take a look at Assembly (I dont want to do much with Assembly, maybe just want to implement one or two programs to know how things work)
- Learn a bit of parallel computing with CUDA to know what the hell Tensorflow is doing with my graphic card.
- Maybe finishing my first research paper
- Pass my electrical engineering exam (I suck at EE)1 -
manager keeps cancelling our bi-weekly check in meetings.
last week she gave some of the other devs two free days off because they worked late on stuff. I never got a free day off for staying up until midnight trying to fix a broken website.
I'm a wallflower (:1 -
Have you ever hit Ballmers Peak, only to fly past it but still keep coding? Sometimes it's an adventure looking at the code the next day. Three steps forward, one step back I say!2
-
Does anybody use raspberry pi as Kubernetes node? I kinda have an experience of my pis do not have enough memory with 1Gb. The system would run about 5 minutes, and each second more memory would be allocated. After that, every node shut itself down. Is there anything I can do about that?2
-
In our company, "UAT".
We using staging environment and most of the data is either missing or corrupt. They don't refresh the data, saying it can impose some security issue.
How the hell are we supposed to complete UAT when there's no data that's in production!!!! -
I logged in a Remote Server, where Bi-Directional was disabled.Didn't allowed copy-paste and needed to upload a new Web app release.
Hack: just inserted usb flash drive in my computer and remote server recognised that as external.
Deployment completed!4 -
Why would anyone want to study and have years of experience in boring-ass jobs like QA, BI,specific enterprise applications consultant(e.g SAP/Salesforce), PC technician, helpdesk, integrator or sales.
I understand people who lack experience in more sexy stuff and have no choice, or do this temporarily. But I met some people who do it for years out of their own will. Why? There are far more interesting jobs in the tech world. -
had been working on a code for 10 hours and when i thought it was finally ready, without any errors, the compiler bi#ch killed my satisfaction for a f#@king ';'
never miss the semicolon, lessons from day 1. ://4 -
I work so hard to name things well and yet last year's code is always full of esoteric and misleading nonsense.2
-
Our #bigtech repo is like 19 billion LOC so how am I the first one to try to do simpleThing with obviouslyRelatedThing?
My search foo yields nothing and I fear its not supported yet.
fml4 -
Since I have learned Java I was taught that Java only passes by value. But my Uni Professor discusses that Java is passed by reference for object and string. I am really confused right now and need some advice.15
-
My co-worker X and I worked late nights for a project every single day including weekends, and our fucking senior manager invites X to his party and not me. Seriously.. does he even know I'm in the same fucking team?.
I mean yeah X did a great job working hard and shit.. but so did I.
I really hate my manager.
Fuck Him..6 -
started a dev apprenticeship recently: 3,5 days at work, 1,5 at school. using/learning c# at school. The title of the ebook they offer us to use: 'c# 2005'
wut? -
What do you answer when you are asked how long it will take you to find the cause of a bug that no one has idea why is happening?2
-
Not sure if reading tech blogs in bed while falling half asleep is a sign of brilliance or insanity.2
-
What the hell am I!? I wonder if you guys can help me...
I've been programming most of my life but I've never actually been a developer by title or job role. I thought maybe if I list what I do and have done someone here could help? I'm sure there are more of you in a similar boat.
- C# and VB dev for some quick DBMS projects to help me understand and mine databases and create a nice simple view for project teams to show findings from the data to help make certain decisions.
- Automating a lot of my colleagues work with Python and if very restricted then just VBA macros in Excel and MSP. This did also include creating tools to gather data during workshops and converting the data for input into other systems.
- Brought Linux to the office with most team members now moving over to Linux with the peace of mind to know that though they do need to try solve their own problems, I can help if need be.
- Had to learn AWS and then implement an autoscaling and load balanced data center installation of a few Atlassian toolsets.
- Creating the architecture diagrams documentation needed for things like the above point.
- Having said that, also have ended up setting up all the Jira/Confluence etc. servers we use and have implemented so far whether cloud (Azure/AWS) or on prem and set up scripts to automate where possible.
- Implemented an automated workflow view in SharePoint based on SP list data and though in an ASPX page, primarily built in JS.
- Building test systems in PHP/JS with Laravel and Angular to help manage integration between systems. Having quite a time right looking into how to build middleware to connect between SOAP and REST API's, the trouble caused more by the systems and their reliance on frameworks we're trying to cut out of the picture.
- Working on BI and MI and training a team to help on the report creation so that I can do the fun creative stuff and then set them to work on the detail :)
Actually it seems safe to say that it seems that though I've finally moved into a dev office (beforehand being the only developer around) I seem to be the one they go to when a strategic solution is needed ASAP and the normal processes can't be followed (fun for someone with a CompSci degree and a number of project management courses under the belt... though I honestly do enjoy the challenges)
But I always end up Jack of all but master of, well hopefully some at least. let's not even get started on the tech related hobbies from circuit design and IoT to Andoid / iOS and game dev and enjoying a bit of pen testing to make sure we're all safe at work and at home.
As much as I don't like boxes, I'm interested to know if there is in fact a box for me? By the way, the above is just a snapshot of my last two years minus the project management work...2 -
Power BI: wonderful tool, pretty graphics, and can do a lot of powerful stuff.
But it’s also quite frustrating when you want to do advanced things, as it’s such a closed platform.
* No way to run powerquery scripts in a command line
* Unit testing is a major pain, and doesn’t really test all the data munging capabilities
* The various layers (offline/online, visualisation, DAX, Powerquery, Dataset, Dataflow) are a bit too seamless: locating where an issue is happening when debugging can be pain, especially as filtering works differently in Query Editing mode than Query Visualisation mode.
And my number 1 pet peeve:
* No version control
It’s seriously disconcerting to go back to a no version control system, especially as you need to modify “live code” sometimes in order to debug a visual.
At best, I’ve been looking into extracting the code from the file, and then checking that into git, but it’s still a one-way street that means a lot of copying and pasting back into the program in order to roll back, and makes forking quite difficult.
It’s rewarding to work with the system, but these frustrations can really get to me sometimes2 -
Does anyone know the best way of doing GPU stuff in C? I have a cuda enabled GTX 1050, but the cuda drivers screw everything up on machine for some reason.
Is there a better way to do this without the cuda drivers?6 -
So, the PowerQuery type system appears to be a Joke.
For those you that aren't familiar with PowerQuery, it's the ETL language that is used in PowerBI, and some other parts of the MS PowerPlatform. It was formerly known as the M Language.
The language has a type system, that includes records (think hashes) and tables, which are, for practical purposes, a list of records.
The wonderful M language specification document states that:
"Any value that is a record conforms to the intrinsic type record, which does not place any restrictions on the field names or values within a record value. A record-type value is used to restrict the set of valid names as well as the types of values that are permitted to be associated with those names."
Except that the restriction is only to the set of valid names, and the language interpreter doesn't throw an error when I place a number into a text field, but also doesn't do any sort of implicit conversion. This is all hunky-dory, until you then try to load the data into the Tabular Model that underlies the query engine, which does expect the values to be of the type that is specified, and it throws an error.
But PowerBI, in its infinite wisdom, doesn't actually *record* the error, it merely tells you the error exists, and tells you to go back to the query editor to list the errors thrown up by the powerquery engine. Which, as previously stated, doesn't throw up an error for this instance.
So I've spent all afternoon trying to work out why my queries aren't loading, because I have an error that doesn't exist. fml.
[You can follow this issue on the communtiy feedback site here: https://community.powerbi.com/t5/... ] -
!rant: Does anyone here work as a Microsoft Dynamics NAV developer of consultant? Or used to? I would really much like hear a little about what it involves on a daily basis, before jumping straight in...
Or if you work with ERP, CRM or BI in general I'd like a word with you. 😀 -
I am learning C++ and I want to develop my own custom ROM for android from AOSP which is Android Open Source Project. I don't know anything about how to do it help on internet is not clear and on the Android official website there is no section for documentation and people on other sites say read documentation.4
-
i'm trying to figure out how to work this;
The element now has an id of thumbnail. With this selector, use the example CSS values above to place a box-shadow on the card.
this is the css values;
box-shadow: 0 10px 20px rgba(0,0,0,0.19), 0 6px 6px rgba(0,0,0,0.23);
and this is the code i used;
.thumbnail {
box-shadow: 0 10px 20px rgba(0,0,0,0.19), 0 6px 6px rgba(0,0,0,0.23);
but it's mot working on the fcc site.2 -
That moment when you have to attend power bi introductory session but you already delivered 2 business intelligence solutions in a previous job.
And he doesn't even have a clue what he is talking about -
Windows apparently does reboots for updates n stuff outside your normal time of usage nowadays.
Windows apparently also thinks that your normal usage shouldn't be over 12 hours.
So now i have to decide if I'm more in the mood for random updates in the morning when i need to get shit done (ugh) or at night when i have finally time to relax. -
I have a headache and I have to write a fix in production in less than 2 hours. What can I do? does chocolate help? I will get chocolate3
-
Ugh, fuck the SSRS web service. Spent all week trying to consume the service with PowerShell, doesn't make it any easier when there are undocumented behaviours. TypeName property has to be Type, for instance, when creating a search condition, TOTALLY contrary to the documentation.
Want to change the data source for a report you uploaded? Gl;hf! Back to it next week, think I'm close to having a working deployment script...so close. -
Auto build is not working. I have to stop and build and start the app again everytime I change a line... I want to kill myself.
-
Question for someone who uses Mongo Atlas Search:
If I'm only interested in autocomplete from the start of the text, which is more performant?
1) standard analyzer + edgeGram tokenizer
2) keyword analyzer + edgeGram tokenizer
I don't see why I should index separate words if I don't care about random positions :/
Thank you6 -
Effective 1:1s are perhaps the most important soft skill that no one teaches you.
The HR onboarding section for 1:1s is only chapter one. But your manager won't teach you, your skip level won't teach you, and your mentor won't teach you. At best one of them even has an effective 1:1 skill set.
90% of 1:1s become operations: What went wrong this week and what needs to happen next week. Basically a private standup.
You attend 1:1s all year and yet somehow your manager doesn't know the difficulties you overcame, what you'd like to change, or how you're pushing yourself to grow. Then you get re-orged to a new manager.
If like to meet someone with effective 1:1s *and* low job satisfaction.3 -
So I was very bored this week and deceided to get my head wrapped around Kubernetes and the hype around it. After trying to get a cluster run on my old contano servers I almost lose my nerve and just went for DigitalOcean. Holy shit I am impressed by the service. 30 seconds TTL DNS, hourly rate billing and spinning a scaleable cluster in only minutes. I fell in love1
-
!rant
kind of annoyed though
'We at microsoft have taken the same approach with words as with your system resources. We do so little with so much.'
This is worse than Apple's bullshit advertising.
-
I've been studying a bit about business analytics and intelligence to diversify a bit from dev.
After a lot of looking around I've found it's all just glorified jargon which basically enables your decision to have backing of facts and logic. It sounds as if it's a great coverup tool but don't know if it actually helped decision-making.
Why does researching the market/competition need to have a thousand breakdowns/categories/focus areas.
I feel like an interpretation of business analytics is a very simple and intuitive solution but there is just too much random and wasteful metrics attached to it.
I believe it's just my nascent knowledge and experience speaking, but I never felt the same way about software development, financials, etc2 -
Protip by Brian Bi: Close terminal windows often, instead of reusing them. This ensures that the bash instance flushes its command history to ~/.bash_history, and new bash instances will be able to recall previous commands in their reverse-i-search.1
-
!rant
How do you find a list of your favourited rants on the Android app? I can't for the life of me find it.1 -
What is your favorite programming language to implement algorithms and data structure?
Or to be more specific, if you write interpreter and compiler, what is your choice of tool?5 -
Hey guys i need help, i want to switch to data field from react, i hv 2 yrs exp in react, should i go for data science? Can a frontend guy like me become a data scientist? And is the data science job fun when compared to react? Or should i go for power bi developer? I heard that power bi has a lot of scope as well. Thanks
-
I read the whole documentation of Mongo Atlas Search and I still don't know if there is operator "greater than" for strings. I'm trying to implement my own "search_after" in the query because sort+skip is not a good idea and every time I google for a feature I end up in a forum where a PM says "Coming soon, we will prioritize this" and I know that things don't work like that1
Top Tags
Weekly Rant
View