*click "Empty Recycle Bin"*
*removing 134.389 files. Time remaining: about 15 minutes*
Me: What the fuck is happening?!
*open Recycle Bin*
*see there is 3 node_modules folder*
Me: oh, okay sorry. Thats pretty normal.

Meetup with @Wack, @PonySlaystation and @Heyheni in Zurich was awesome! Had some good beers and, of course, took a picture: (fltr: wack, heyheni, linuxxx, ponyslaystation)

Hello beautiful. Finally got fiber installed. For my girlfriend and me. Not that we really need it... But you know...

(Wifi reaches up to 170 on 5Ghz)

Hello World!
I found this when I investigating my old codes.

"Github is Instagram for developers" -me

Meeting up with @Wack currently. Devy went along as well!

My parents recently got divorced and sold their house, so I had to go through all my old stuff and found this beauty! A pair of new bateries and it still work! Fuck Yeah!

Going on a vacation, so notify all clients that I won't be available during two weeks.

Client: well we have this huge presentation and here's a list of stuff we absolutely need for it
Me: sure I have a look.
Me: holy shit dude! That's gona take about 2-3 days. I'm leaving soon!
Client: it's realy critical to have them in a week as it's a very important presentation! Is there any way you can make it work? If we can do anything to help, just name it.
Me: well I'll do my best (planed 1 day for such rhings)
Me: *pulling a 15h day*
Me: here, all done budy! Did a 15h but now it's done, so do that presentation!
Client: oh, nice, but it wasn't that urgent
Me: ...

Next day:
Client ssh in to the server, fucks shit up
Client: well I did a thing and now stage and prod is fucked, can you do anything?
Me: (knowing it will take 30min to fix) well... I try my best. Btw. I'll leave in a few hours and won't take my computer, so try not to fuck every thing again, okay?

*boots computer*
*login screen appears*
*enters password*
*windows says "Welcome"*
*You have entered wrong password*

Are you fucking serious? Can't you even handle simple login flow? Why the fuck you display welcome screen before validating my fucking password? What the FUCK

Always multiply your time estimate by Pi (an Irrational number). That way you're guaranteed your estimate will be irrational! (Just like the clients expection :P)

I started a nee personal project few weeks ago. I named it SelfVPN. Its simply a VPN client that lets you create DigitalOcean droplets and install vpn server without opening DigitalOcean panel. You just need to add your api key in application.

It takes like 5 min to create new server and deploy vpn server. So I am paying hourly usage of vpn! Even if I don't destroy droplet it wont cost more than 5$ a month.

I am thinking to open source it. But code is too messy 😅 Here is the first look of it

What are you talking about? I'm on test server... Oh fuck.

Not sure what hapend... On my laptop running Ubuntu 17.10, I just got a notification:

Problem occured: "Ubuntu is ready"

Not sure what to do now... :P

This...

I told these people that this issue would happen. Did they listen? Nooo

It'll be fine, they say. We likely won't be having that much data returned to the front end, they say.

Day of the install. Web Application attempts to query 68,000 rows of data straight into the web page.

*Surprised Pikachu face* when they are consistently getting crashed browser tabs.

And now everything gets pushed back and we're behind by an entire month because they didn't heed my warnings.

Oh, and now I have to pick up after them, and do some stupid work arounds that will likely be defunct in a month or two. 🙄

I'm such a fucking moron! I had a programing test at university today, there where two excercises and two hours time. Finished the first one within 20min, but couldn't crack the second one. As time went by, I got more and more nervous. My hands started shaking. I couldn't think straight. I should just have steped outside, ask for a bathroom break, whatever. But no, I wanted to solve it!
Went home after the timelimit. Sat down, wrote the same thing I had in my head, compile, test and would have gotten all the points. I was able to do in 20min when relaxed, what I wasn't able in 1h 40min.
Fuck me.

The moment when I realized I had to sleep... I mean bootstrap not dubstep...

Here, take your daily dose of javasript

It's not a dev quiting but my brother who worked in parcel delivery at that time.
He was hired on a temporary contract but promissed from the beginning and in every discussion they had, that he'll get a permanent position after 6 moth, if his work is good.

Fast forward 6 months. They had a meeting and told him how satisfied they where with his work so naturally he asked about the permanent contract. Fuckers acted suprise and shit. Claiming to never have said any of it. However as they are happy with him and so "generous", they offerd him another contract for 6 months and told him, they could talk about a permanent one after that period.

He kind of has a temprament, so he got up, fliped them the bird and called them lying assholes and went home. He didn't show for the time left on his contract.

The funny thing about it he worked for the swiss postal service (which is owned by the state) but not directly but through this.company providing temporary workers (which is cheaper for them as they get a shitty salary compared to a full time employee with all the benefits).

Wankers!

Nice thing though, the accounting department still sent him a christmas bonus (he quit somewhere around mai...)

node_modules wack ! :/

Github Inc. (Feel good inc. parody)
=========================

Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
Github.
Fetch it, fetch it, fetch it, Github.
Fetch it, fetch it, fetch it, Github.
Fetch it, fetch it, fetch it, Github.
Fetch it, fetch it, fetch it, Github.

Fetch it, fetch it, fetch it, Github.
Fetch it, fetch it, fetch it, Github.

(change) Fetch it (change), Fetch it (change), Fetch it (change), Github
(change) fetch it (change), fetch it (change), fetch it (change), Github

Repos breaking down on pull request
Juniors have to go cause they don't know wack
So while you filling the commits and showing branch trees
You won't get paid cause it's all damn free

You set a new linter and a new phenomenal style
Hoping the new code will make you smile
But all you wanna have is a nice long sleep.
But your screams they'll keep you awake cause you don't get no sleep no.

git-blame, git-blame on this line
What the f*ck is wrong with that
Take it all and recompile
It is taking too lonnng

This code is better. This code is free
Let's clone this repo you and me.
git-blame, git-blame on this line
Is everybody in?

Laughing at the class past, fast CRUD
Testing them up for test cracks.
Star the repos at the start
It's my portfolio falling apart.

Shit, I'm forking in the code of this here.
Compile, breaking up this shit this y*er.
Watch me as I navigate.
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.

Yo, this repo is Ghost Town
It's pulled down
With no clowns
You're in the sh*t
Gon' bite the dust
Can't nag with us
With no push
You kill the git

So don't stop, git it, git it, git it
Until you're the maintainers
And watch me criticize you now
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.

Break it, break it, break it, Github.
Break it, break it, break it, Github.
Break it, break it, break it, Github.
Break it, break it, break it, Github.

git-blame, git-blame on this line
What the f*ck is wrong with that
Take it all and recompile
It is taking too lonnng

This code is better. This code is free
Let's clone this repo you and me.
git-blame, git-blame on this line
Is everybody in?

Don't stop, shit it, git it.
See how your team updates it
Steady, watch me navigate
Aha-ha-ha-ha-ha.

Don't stop, shit it, git it.
Peep at updates and reconvert it
Steady, watch me git reset now
Aha-ha-ha-ha-ha.

Github.
Push it, push it, push it, Github.
Push it, push it, push it, Github.
Push it, push it, push it, Github.
Push it, push it, push it, Github.

Thats awesome (not mine)

EXCEL YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT! don't get me wrong, it's usefull and kt works, usually... Buckle up, your i for a ride. SO HERE WE FUCKING GO: TRANSLATED FORMULA NAMES? SUCKS BUT MANAGABLE. WHATS REALLY FUCKED UP IS HTHE GERMAN VERSION!
DID YOU HEAR ABOUT .csv? It stands for MOTHERFUCKING COMMA SEPERATED VALUES! GUESS WHAT SOME GENIUS AT MICROSOFT FIGURED? Hey guys let's use a FUCKING SEMICOLON INSTEAD OF A COMMA IN THE GERMAN VERSION! LET'S JUST FUCK EVERY ONE EXPORTING ANY DATA FROM ANY WEBSITE!

The workaround is to go to your computer settings, YOU CAN'T FUCKING ADJUST THIS IN EXCEL!, change the language of the OS to English, open the file and change it back to German. I mean, come on guys, what is this shit?

AND DON'T GET ME STARTED ON ENCODING! äöü and that stuff usually works, but in Switzerland we also use French stuff, that then usually breaks the encoding for Excel if the OS language is set to German (both on Windows and Mac, at least they are consistent...)

To whoever approved, implemented or tested it: FUCK YOU, YOU STUPID SHITFUCK, with love: me

Can we talk about this for a second? I mean WTF, how is Windows XP still a thing. Wasn't there a ransomeware attack recently, so every last sys admin should have some motivation to upgrade their shit?
Sure, I hear you say, it's just an information display. No critical stuff.
Well guess what, it was at an airport. Most likely not connected to any critical infrastructur, but still it's a computer, stuck at the boot screen at 11 a.m. running windows XP, connected to an airport network.
And I was standing there like: fuck me!

Happy Birthday to @Michelle from your friends on devRant!

Revenge

!rant

Yesterday a friend of mine asked if I could help her with an assignment. The goal was writing shortest path agorithm in excel. I told her I don't know excel or VB but I will look into it. I didn't even know that we can code in excel 😅 After 1,5 hours of research and coding I writed a well documented code that does the job (with n^2 complexity of course). I feel VERY motivated after this. Because I did well job at an unexperienced environment with a language that I don't know!

Tldr: my new favorite ide is excel.

long && scam && rant?

At my parent's: phone rings..
Me: hi this is XYZ (in German)
He: hi this is ABC from Microsoft tecnical suport (strong Indian accent, sorry toall Indian devs who might feel offended, no intention)
Me: hi... (I'm learning for my exams and don't have a VM with Windows installed currently, so no time to "play")
He: we got some worrying data from your Windows computer. You might have a virus and we need to run a few tests to verfy it. Do you know what that is?
Me: yeah, a scam.
He: sorry, sir I didn't understand you, could you repeat?
Me: yeah, I know what " this" is. It's a scam, and we only deploy Linux here. (lie, we have Windows, Mac and Linux, as well as an iPhone, iPad and Android devices in the house, guess who is "support"...) But good luck with your next call.
He: (kind of friendly) oh. I see. Well have a nice day too.

Got my first paycheck as a student! That feels so good.

Hot secs

Finally got time to share my new laptop. I love its rgb backlight keyboard. I will buy a NVMe SSD and second monitor asap.

I am hired immediately after my internship!

I... can't... fucking... stop... adding... new... features... to my... personal... projects... Help.

*Build project*
*Build failed*
- Arrrg! Lets try cleaning first.
*Clean project*
*Clean failed*
- ...
- What the FUCK! How does the clean fucking project fail?!? Just delete fucking output you pile of shit!

!rant

Moved in with my SO. No not Stack Overflow. Anyway. The hardest part about it is choosing a good Wifi name. We acctually need two names.

Go.

Edit: the perfect name would have a Star Wars reference in it.

I think I've posted more this week on DevRant, than I have during the entire time I've had Facebook

The modern programmer's struggle is wether or not he needs one more raspberry pi

Holy fuck nvidia. Why the fuck you want me to login to your fucking app in order to download a fucking driver. You also want me to click a fucking link that you sent to my email for verification on every fucking login? Why on earth someone would stole my fucking nvidia account? To see which drivers I use? What the fuck nvidia? Oh wait. DO YOU DARE ASK ME TO SETUP TWO FACTOR AUTH TO SECURE MY ACCOUNT?!? What the fuck? Even if I put my credentials online no one would care to login my fucking nvidia account. Just let me download my fucking driver!

17 minutes without single break. That was longest nightmare for me. I had to write 6 lines of code... You know how that feels. My fingers were bleeding and my eyes were burning. Oh maan, I don't even want to remember that hard days.

*recieves notofication from tinder*
*"somebody likes you. Swipe to find who blah"*
*opens tinder*
*swipes everyone to right*
*no matches*

Fucking clickbait!

Client: But why is it so expensive to host a website? I mean you could host Wordpress on a cheap like 10$/month webspace, right?

Inner me: Bitch, you have a fucked up Symfony 2.1 website that only runs on PHP 5.3 plus a Wordpress site, with a lot of updates not done, plus you have a huge traffic at peak times, like once a week
Me: Well you know, the services you are running require a lot of resources...

Forgot my headphones today, had to listen to stupid people on the train and now can't concentrate while writing code! Fuck!

Cs Student. We currently have a course on algorithms, where we have to implement something in Java, test it with some sample inputs and in the end submit it to an online judge, so far so good. So why a rant? Well there's this one person, who strugles with programing and asks me a lot of questions. Usually I tell her, could you send me your code, so I can have a look at what doesn't work/where you made a typo/what ever. My thoughts: let's just copy it my IDE, take a look at the error message, and that should do it.

Guess how I got the code: As a few photos, taken by her mobile phone (as the code doesn't fit on one screen...)! Just send me the fucking file, or post it to gist.github.com or pastie.org or what ever fucking code sharing tool you want! Make a fucking git repo, I'll even live with SVN or just a .txt file by mail. But for the love of Linus Torvalds, stop sending me crapy pictures of your crappy code! For fucks sake!

Fuck you you fucking fuck, why would you change an api without any notification?

Background: built an app for a customer, it needs to fetch data frlman external api, and save it to a db.
Customer called: it's broken what did you do?!?
Me: I'll look into it.

Turned out the third party just changed their api... Guess I should implenent some kind of notification, if no messages come in for some time...

*Creates a rest api that runs on localhost:8080*
*Creates React front end that runs on localhost:3000*
*Sends a GET request to api*
*Cross-Origin Request Blocked: The Same Origin Policy...*

Thats my fucking dev environment and its my local fucking host! Let me just send a fucking request to my own fucking machine you piece of shit! Why the fuck they didn't add an exclusion to fucking localhost?!?

Fuck you windows! We were watching a movie and windows accidentally restarted and started to update. I HATE YOU!

Rant: THAT FUCKING CREATIVE AGENCY, THAT USES A FUCKING HOSTING PROVIDER, THAT DOESN'T OFFER SSH! GUESS WHO'S CURRENTLY UPLOADING 4000 FILES? BEST OF ALL EVERY 200-ISCH FILES THE CONNECTION GET'S REFUSED, TELLING, THERE ARE TO MANY REQUESTS (FileZilla is set to max 2 simultanious uploads, still the same)

FUCK YOU, YOU FUCKING FUCK OF A CRAPPY DEPLOYMENT PROCESS.

Windows logic:
* User disables notifications *
* Windows gives a notification about disabled notifications *
Fuck.

Thanks to your tips guys, my job interview went butter smooth! Got some good feelings about it!

Fuck whoever invented caramel and chocolate and particularly whoever mixed them. How am I supposed to stop eating this? It so fucking delicious.

Got offered a project to develop e-commerce site. Bespoke. E-commerce. Sage pay. CMS. 4 days. When I said it's basically impossible, got told that the company was offered the same solution by an Indian developer but in 2 days, so it shouldn't be a problem to do it in 4.

On my way home, just noticed, that the display in the train, is only sorting the connections in the trainstation by time, but not by date. (SBB in Switzerland, in case you're wondering)

When you fix your mates PC and upgrade windows on it and month later he comes back because his scanner is really slow, his wife doesn't understand English anymore and cat decided to leave his cat life to become full time florist at local bakery shop.

$ npm install ...
$ added 10 packages from 7 contributors and audited 21813 packages.

I realized that after some point you don't even think about your project dependencies growing. Because even adding 10 packages, it looks like it doesn't even changes the total number of packages. 21813, 21920, 21980... Does it even matter? Fuck.

Got the stickers! All the way from New York to Switzerland (:

Mother fucking SQL, fuck mathematicians, fuck every thing!

So let's supose we'd only need the first char of a string. Every, and I mean fucking every (php, java, javascript, ruby, python, haskell) fucking language, uses something like `substring(input, 0, 1)` as it knows the input is nothing more than a fucking array of chars, otherwise known as motherfucking String. Logically the offset for the first char is 0.

Enter SQL, there you need to put `SUBSTRING(input, 1, 1)` because fuck every one! Fucking math guys who developed relational algebra on which (most) databases are based on (I love you for it, but come on you fuckers!), Decided that the first character should be at position 1...

Fuckers

Didn't had to fix anything (so far). But took my dev laptop to show all the projects I've been working on to the dad of my girlfriend and he showed me his projects.
He's not mainly a dev, but an electrical ingenieur. He designs his own pcb boards (with 8bit processors on them, as "that's more than enough power to do almost anything!") and then programs that stuff with basic (he writes his own firmware for it).
He also creates desktop application to get data off the devices using Delphi.

Love that guy and have a shittln of respect for him!

Kinda rant, kinda not.

At the start of this year all of my colleagues left company beacause of low raise. This process took like 3 months. After that I automatically became most senior in our team with 8 months of experience in my current company and 3 years total. It was rough days and still is. One downside is some days I can't even touch my own development tasks. Sometimes I ask for other developers help and assign them tasks. I'm evolving into team lead I guess. Yeah, more like junior team lead. But after few weeks I got a call from our cto and he told me they are raising my salary even I had a raise just 3 months ago. And he told me it will be raised again soon. Even my workload increased I'm still kinda having fun. I think its a bit early for me to be good at this role but I'm learning how to manage people :) Well, at least I got a raise

To anyone asking for tips and tricks to start programming or become good at it, here is your ultimate golden advice: learn how to google and stop asking stupid questions like this before doing a quick research.

Reasons why:

1. You will most likely to learn better if you do your own research before asking for help. Even if you can't solve problem, you will be better and better at googling over time.
2. It is instant source of information. No need to wait for response (except response from server of course).
3. It takes only YOUR time.
4. Much more possible solutions/answers to your problems/questions.
5. Your quality of life will be improved over time. Not only your dev life but your daily life too.

First Hackathon ends today. Long story short: I was the only programmer of the team, we only had 2 days to develop it (of which we spent the first day doing research, so 1 day of coding), so guess what it's shit.
I basically took a bootstrap theme, hardcoded some data. Put some js on top for interactions and a node js backend, to interface some APIs. Just by looking at the code you'll get cancer, but the others of the team where impressed, how good it looked an worked...

Let's hope the judges aren't familliar with coding as well (our challenge got two judges whereof one works at a bank as some guy whearing a suite and sponsoring stuff... Ao chances should be ok)

Honestly fuck this. Not one team (afaik) has pfoduced anything close to being finished...

*logs in to pc*
- Your password will expire in 3 days. Consider changing it.
+ yeah sure...
*tries to change password*
- Your password must be different from your old 25 passwords
+ ....
+ What the fuck?!? I mean, really, what the fuck is this bullshit? You force me to use EXACTLY 8 char long passwords and this? Fuck you!

Thanks everyone, another follow up:
After successfully securing the interview and going through it like a boss I'm starting my new job on Monday. Bless y'all

Fuck EA and its fucking launcher. Your broken piece of shit software doesn't even launch. I even tried reinstalling but that garbage won't launch. Fuck you EA and all of your bad practises. Wrap that launcher and shove it to your ass.

I had an interview with a company that works offshore (works for a big silicon valley company) for an internship program. I liked their bosses vision and how he treats his coworkers. After 1 hour technical interview I asked how much they pay for internship and they told me they are not paying anything. And they said hey we are teaching you how things works. Wait... What? Atleast you can pay my transport and food fees. Fuck you and fuck your company. If you don't pay me a single fucking penny, I am not working with you. There is local laws to pay me some money. If you don't care about laws, I wont care about your fucking company. Burn in hell.

One of the most infuriating ideas in software development culture is that you can build maintainable applications without a strictly enforced type system and structured data.

Sure, it's more fun to wack around a dynamically typed system until it works or to write a major application with mutable datastructures... It's a least fun until a few years in and you have to debug an unexpected overwrite or a inconsistent use of an object property or whatever.

Anyone who writes maintainable code eventually figures out that you need rules and procedures, the issue with JavaScript, python, ruby, lisp, etc developers is that they think it's us developers that needs to enforce these rules instead of the compiler (which is infinitely better at it).

Tldr; my "this is not bug, its a feature" moment actually turned my bug into a feature.

Today we were presenting a project which has imposible deadline. I am developing this small project alone (which is probably good). I implemented core features first but I know project still have bugs and a lot of tech debts. Another friend started to presenting our demo and a wild bug appeared as expected. He was adding rows to a table. To add a new you gotta open new modal by clicking + button and fill the form. One of the fields had a bug. When you add row by clicking Ok button, the value of the field stayed there after you open modal again. So its basically a state problem in React. I forgot to clear previous state of modal. When they see that and my friend said "oh we got a bug there". Then I enabled my mic and said "thats not a bug, thats a feature. I didn't want to enter that field again and again when I adding multiple rows and made it persistent." and you know what? They liked the idea! They requested to add that bug to two more fields. I was just joking and my "this is not bug, its a feature" moment actually turned my bug into a feature. Instead of fixing it, I'm creating more of this bug. LOL!

What the fuck Visual Studio? Last day my app was compiling succesfully. I DID NOT CHANGE ANY SINGLE FUCKING THING BEFORE I LEFT OFFICE. Today it refused to compile. It didn't even show the source of error, just says missing a reference.

- Clean solution, rebuild. Compile error
- Close VS re-open project. Compile error.
- Restart computer. Compile error.
- Close VS re-open project. Compile succesfully.
WHAT THE FUCK DID JUST HAPPEN? I could't believe it if it didn't happen to me. Is this shit compiling just by luck or what?

      

Visual representation of Arch installation

Today a tester asked me to make a modal smaller. I read the code and saw modal size was explicitly set to "large". So I was about to set its size to default but I asked myself "what if I enter a random string there?" and I set it to "not-so-big". UI framework handled it well and actually set its size to default. I'm keeping the code that way for future laughters.

Drug dealer

Just deployed version 0.0.1 of my holiday project to production.

It's a pie "attached" to some speakers, mounted below the kitchen cubord. So far it only runs a spotify connect on it and you're able to play music there while cooking/cleaning.

I'd actually like it to also be able to just play regular music, either from a smartphone or a computer in the network. (It's connected by wifi to our lan). Any advice on what software I could install on it to achive that? i'd prefere to enable it for devices on the lan and have bluetouth dissabled, but I'm actually not sure if that is even possible. So yeah any advice to that? Or any other things you'd install on it?

I know, that I need to do some "cable management" back there :P

Biggest Coding distraction? Organizing an OpenAir music festival.

Start it earlier.

"CI/CD is superior because you can continuously break prod"

I'm back

Rant: Wifi in Italian AirBnB, They use 3 wifi repeater to get internet from one house to the next, I guess you can imagine the speed

Wondering who the fuck decided to create expandable menu for a single item. Thats fucking disgusting.

More than 3GB ram is useless on android phones. Change my mind.

I bought cheap lg g5. It has 4gb ram (my old phone had 1gb ram). I have opened chrome with 4 tabs, an AAA game, devRant, Instagram, a vpn app, android settings and I'm listening music. There is still free 1,2 gb ram. Also this is not my everyday usage. I use maximum 3 apps at same time.

Seeing Mark Zuckerberg multibillionarie. I am poor af (Still student btw). Also looking Linux kernel at GitHub.

Any alternative to Googles reCAPTCHA?

Backstory we have a contact form, in a bootstrap modal, loading the form as an ajax request. The form has (as of today) a captcha, as we where getting a lot of spam.

Guess what it does on safari? Right... It renders outside the modal and since there's no need for scrolling, bootstraps modal adds an overflow hidden to the body. Results in non submitable forms on some resolutions.

Any idea on how to fix this, or other captcha systems we could use (it's a Symfony app).

!dev && rant

Can we talk about banks? Those fuckers! Suposed to keep our money save and be competent... They today gave me the biggest scare of my live and I've run one an update query on a prod db without a where clause! (Okay I knew we had a backup but still pretty scarry moment!)

As a few know, besides being a dev I help to organize a small openair music festival here in Switzerland. The openair was this weekend. Every thing wen't well, until I checked our ebanking account today. There was only 2/3 of the money that should be there. A quick call to the bank and they told me, nope they never received it. As we've thrown it in a secure locker during the night, we didn't receive any receipt or something like that. It took those fuckers 3.5 hours to actually go and check the looker, just to find the remaining money in the corner of it. What the fuck people, can't you open your fucking eyes and not give me a fucking heartatack? I thought you guys are professionals!

Note locker: we get a key to open it from the outside, place our payment during the night, as soon as we close it, it falls inside a vault, so there it's a pay in only system, for lack of a better word, I called it locker.

My heart is still beating like mad, because of them.

Seriously, why are so many companies caught up with if there developers working from home or not? Maybe it's where I'm at, but my last boss said ...

" I know you don't have any problem making deadlines and your a good worker, but you still need to come to the office in order to have face to face interaction."

Me: "This is the first face to face conversation I've had with someone in over a week."

Boss: (shrugs)"our goal is to build an office friendly environment where people will enjoy coming into the office"

Me: in my head "your an idiot"... Out loud "Ok"
...

In reality my custom built machine is better than yours, and I'm more productive in my Sealy Posturpedic chair and pajamas than your wack office chair with you popping your head out of your office every couple hours to "manage" me when you haven't written code in years and i have to teach you things that you bring to your boss to make yourself look smart.

Master/Slave
Fuck you guys. Honestly most of the rants i've read concerning python and their abolishme t of sait terms where fucking butthurt. "What virgin suggested this", "people shouldn't be offended, it's just a name" and so on.

I do agree with every one saying a name shouldn't matter (readability is a different story! However parent/child or producer/consumer IMHO preserve that). So why are you fucking offended when it is changed to parent/child or produver/consumer? Does it affect you in any way? You know there's the `sed` command, plus IntelliJ (and most other IDEs) have a quite good support for renaming/refactoring stuff.

By reacting this way, by beeing offended all you do is proving the point. Words can offend people. I personally don't care how it's called. So far I always used master/slave and didn't think twice about it. But then again if someone of my coworkers or friends would feel threatened by these words, I try to avoid them. Naming diesn't matter to me, nor the compiler. So fuck, if it makes people happy or feeling save then lets change it.

What the fuck do you gain by sticking to those terms anyways?

Who remembers winamp? Well... We still use it in our bar once a year

Backstory: I help to organize a small openair festival once a year and to finance that we run (amongst other things) a bar once a year.

Music is still supplied by good old winamp! The nostalgia is strong.

Chuck Norris

<rant>So I'm new to the having-meetings-every-waking-moment-of-the-day thing... Just wondering if anyone is supposed to get anything done??
Or are we supposed to gather more and more work to do during each meeting?
The only times I've been able to do work is when I can mute the mic or say I'm in a "lunch meeting"!!
Does this happen to everybody???
</rant>

Rant
I'm a CS student at a university in the global top 10. We currently have two courses using Java, where we have to submit our work to a judge program. One of them is running Java 7. the second one Java 6! Come on, what year is it? Just update your fucking software and the assignments, you lazy fucks!

First rant. Am I doing this right?

Where to look for an UI/UX person?

Backstory: I currently work at a small startup. So far our website is just a bootstrap theme, slaped together by myself, so you could say, it's far from optimal. Especially on mobile devices.

Where would you guys look for a UI/UX person? Probably on a freelance basis. Did you have good expiriences in the past with a particular site/service?

What the fuck! Just witnesed this at university. The guy in question is in the same cs course as me. Using edge, okay. But searching for a picture on google (a icon in that case), copy it to memory, open powerpoint, paste it, manipulate the color aellsettings to make it gray and then save it from powerpoint? That's not how you fucking do it! Fucker!

Client just asked why no progress has been made this week and refuses to accept it is a result of them not answering my emails or providing content. I made a DevRant while I wait for a response!
I guess it wasn't as URGENT as the subject line suggested...

I've seen a lot of hate to Macbooks and Apple products in general, and although I agree that iphone could be dramatically improved in terms of hardware I think that OSX is the best platform to do Web development.
Which one would you pick and why? Windows, OSX or Linux.

Sorry I'm on my computer during the meeting but I can multitask I swear!

(I can definitely write code and troubleshoot with other devs on Skype, while you're talking)
I never said I was listening to you though! Lol!

Normal people: "It was a beautiful day today!"
Programmers: "My desktop wallpaper rotates through several beautiful days."

#feature
On the 9Gag Android app, you can "scroll" up and down by using the volume up/down, if the music isn't playing. (I think you have to enable this in the setings).

I find this quite convinient, and would love to this here too.

@dfox and @trogus

Bonjour Paris

- Sleep
- Update and shutdown
- Update and restart
*presses power button*
Windows: oh fuck.

Happy first of may, happy international worker fight day to all the devs out there. Unighted we stand, duvided we fall

If I'm able to DevRant (as a verb, yes) through an entire meeting... I feel as though I shouldn't be in the meeting?

Hyperlink

1. I feed my creativity addiction.
2. I solve my personal problems with automation mostly.
3. Money and food.

It's almost 4 on a Friday and my coworker just left early. The only thing before leaving was to tell my boss about a problem in production...
Leaving me to fix it...
"Hey, I just heard about a problem in production. Can you fix it before you go?"
Not cool dude... Not cool.

It's a matter of time because recruiters will find out about devrant.

I'm just trying to get my boss on the phone and his secretary tells me he is in a seminar but I walk by his office and he is eating a MF DONUT

Ability to handle context switching (jumping between tasks and interruptions) like it didn't even happen.

I have had it with this wack-ass code, with its spaghetti-looking call tree, nonsensical variable naming, comments a screen-height long and as clear as mud mixed with diarrhea, conditions incomprehensible enough to make kafka depressed, and condtions nested deeper than a goddamn ant colony.

In fact, it has more levels of indentation than one of those stupid iceberg memes - the top is pretty and barely afloat while the rest of it is a fat mess all the way down that only serves to sink your motherfucking hopes and dreams.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

!rant this is just a shoutout, how fucking happy I am. Clean code valued over fast but hacky push of features!

Backstory. I work for a startup. Long story short a guy with an idea needed a developer. I've worked for about a year without pay but now since we're live I get paid. Recently a new field of bussiness came up. I told tge guy with the idea (a.k.a. my boss) that we either could just "hack" the current code to just make it "fit" well kind of... Or refactor our main code base, as requirements where changing at least monthly and we just built on top of the monolith.
Don't get me wrong. It still isn't perfect. However I was able to refactor the main business logic for the last few days, as he understood, it's an investment into the future.
Good guy!

P.S. On another note: happiness or happyness? :O

!dev && !rant

@dfox and @trogus my so was like, wait... Is this like a thing to complain? That's awesome!
Wait let me guess it's for developers only, right? Why can't we normal people have this? :O

The algorithm strikes again

Do you remember how they say, you won't notice how much you miss something, until it's gone? Well this Island (Guadeloupe) is as beautiful as it can be! However the internet connection sucks. Big time!

Plus the humidity killed my laptop (or at least part of the keyboard including the keys I need for the partition unlock, which means no laptop until I'm home and replaced the keyboard.

I didn't bring it for work but to be able to look up stuff, maybee write some (non dev) stuff and such...

But to be honest since this vacation is so relaxing, I'm not even really mad. Strange.

When things align...

Been a freelancing for quite a while now and forgot what's it's like to work in a company. Have you got any tips that I could benefit from? Got an interview coming up this week and want to impress them. BTW I'm a Web developer.

I'm not allowed to talk about the coolest things I've done :(
NDAs always ruin the fun!
But I can tell you that they were freakin awesome. I'll come back to this in a bunch of years :)
Just know it was awesome!

!dev

Theres atleast one fucking bastard that writes comments like "2018?" "2018???", "september 2018?", "still listening in 2019??" in every fucking song video in youtube. Fuck you braindead useless pile of shits! Yes its fucking 2018 and why the fuck you just write it there?? Why the fuck somebody even cares and likes that kind of trash comments?!? Fuck you bunch of wasted human cells. I want to kill all of those fucking fuckwits. STOP FUCKING COMMENTING DateTime.Now.Year IN EVERY FUCKING SONG YOU MOTHERFUCKER CUNTS!

!dev && rant
Any stargate fans on here? Can we talk like one minute about stargate origins? It's like. I mean. Fuck. Is it really that bad or am I missing a huge part?

My boss told me to finish 1 task before 7 tomorrow and all the code is written is Spanish SMH

Mix it with things you already having fun with or interested in.

WTF?!? so apparently I guy I know, knows the guy who built dodeley.com (don't get me started on the name!)

Oh boy... Where should I begin? So besides the fact that I'm pretty sure these newsletters will be classified as spam (aites like mailchimp and so on actually pay large mail providers not to classify them as spam, I doubt they do...), their so called "widget" is just a form, sent to their domain using GET, FUCKING GET, NOT POST, GET!!! The request looks something like "dodeley.com/?action=subscribe&id=xxx&field1=xxx&..." I mean like, WTF? Oh and their solution to not leave the page is simply to add a target="_blank" to the form, that you have to include on your site.

Did I mention, that the form id is static? Did I mention, that there's no validation on what you enter?

Who the fuck programmed this shit? Honestly!

Its true unless its javascript, then its false. What the fuck is this? Someone got explanation?

I've found this tutorial on getting a google free android phone (tl;dr: lineageos, fdroid&yalp, etc.)

It probably isn't news for most of us in here, however a handy beginner friendly guide to give to friends and relatives.

The downside: it's in german.

This is not something new but I want to say it loud again.

With all my heart, fuck you internet explorer. Windows should release a FORCED update (sorry for that) and remove it from every fucking version of windows and antivirus programs should detect it as a virus. It should be removed from existence and browser lists and also saying its name should be crime. Also, please remove it and any releated memories with it from our brains.
Thanks.

Why the fuck would I do that Google? It's just 25% full not 90%.

Fucking finaly I'm back on devRant after my phone decided to die during the weekend. But why the fuck do I get a light theme again? @dfox, could you save the preferences in the profile? Or at least display the options on first start? :*

Has anyone expirience with hacksplaining.com? Is it any good? (Just stumbled upon)

CLIENT: My wordpress site runs really slowly, can you fix it?
Me: Yeah sure, let me have a look.
*logs in and sees Facebook feeds, twitter feeds, 3 seo plugins, 5 backup generators, 4 slider plugins, jscomposer, social sharing buttons and loads more*
Me: Do you realise that you don't need that many plugins?
Client : well they make my site really fancy and my customers love it.
Me: yafud

Due to public demand I hereby launch the someone talk to @MadMadMadMrMim helpline

I'm visiting st. Petersburg in russia. Any devRanters living there? Or can anyone reccomend stuff?

**Sees a different error after hours of debugging the previous one**

ME (crying inside) - What type of sorcery is this?

I heard Google has prepared an AI for solving competitive programming questions by training models based on problems and solutions from GitHub.
*devil smile*...on my way to flood GitHub with wrong solutions. Ciao!

I was going to show my boss DevRant. Due to my quick thinking of past and future rants pertaining to said boss, I decided not to. Quickly switching to Instagram seemed like I was in the clear, I just had to find a funny picture of... a DevRant ad... "Oh what's that app? Didn't you have that one?"
Then a client walked in!!!
Never have I been, nor will I even be, so relieved to have a client storm into the office!

Not sure if I love or hate haskell... It's awesome, but then again the syntax is so fucking confusing...

Does DevRant count as social media? I don't think I'm allowed to post to social media while I'm at work. *Asks DevRant anyways*

FUCK YOU NODE JS AND FUCL YOU SYNOLOGY

Decided to give an old Synology DiskStation that sits at home slme new life besides just sharing files. Since Synology has SSH but not a full Linux OS, installed DebianChroot (so far so good). At one point I needed Node JS, so installed NVM and tried to install Node. Well guess what didn't work. Tried a few more things including directly downlosding node from the official node website. Trying different versions, the whole drill.

After about 5 hours of installing and errors, well really usfull errors like "There where 2 errors during installation" WELL HOW ABOUT YOU FUCKING TELL ME WHAT THE ERROR IS YOU FUCKING FUCK!

I found a formum wkith a guy haveing similar problems. Able to install legacy 0.10.x versions but not 4.x.x. Or 6.x.x oder whatever. He found that you have to have at least an ARMv6 compatible processor, otherwise it won't run. Checked it and well, that old fuck of mine only has ARMv5. FUCK! But honestly. You detect it's an ARM architecture. You detect it's not one of the v6 or v7, you try to install the general arm version, BUT YOU DON'T GET THE FUCKING IDEA TO MENTION TO CHECK WAHAT VERSION YOU HAVE AND IF THAT IS SUPORTED BY FUCKING NODE!

One afternoon wasted, at least I got a little more wisdom. Fuck do I hate Node now. On the bright side, I've ordered a Raspberry Pi and two cases for Harddisks, I'll create my own diskstation with blackjack and hookers (I realy hope you get that reference)! Fuck you Synology and Node JS (yeah yeah, it's not Synologies fault, but I'm mad anyways!)

@dfox I saw a few posts lately, about websites that people did. So besides the collabs, I'd like to suggest a new section. "DevReviews" or what ever. The basical idea is, every one, that is signed up gets one "token" devRant ++ suporters maybee an additional free token every months or whatever.
If you wan't your website reviewed, you can post it there and people reviewing it will get such a token for their review.
To ensure a certain quality of the reviews, I'd put a minimum caracter length and a "dispute" function, where the review is taken to a community voting, if the person giving the review should get the token, or if the review should be dismissed. Additional "tokens" for additional/more reviews can be bought through the app, that could help a lot of devs get quality reviews and testing and earn you some $ for the servers.

A friend of mine wants to start learn HTML/CSS/JS and ask me where to start.
Since I started to write them more than 10 years ago, I have no clue where to start, what good ressources are today and so on.

Therefore: what would you recommend, I recommend her?

Today I had a weird dream. The mars was collapsing to earth. Weird part was when everybody panicking and screaming I was watching it getting bigger and bigger every second. I was like "woah, this is amazing". I knew there was no point being scared because everyone will die anyway. I embraced death and enjoyed my last moments. That was realy weird experience.

Docker.

Even the getting started tutorial didn't worked correctly. It basicly ask you to run commands and fails to execute. I also banged my head to wall few times while trying to connect my dockerized application to database container.

Visiting a webshop and ordering what you need? Wack.

Visiting a webshop, seeing that what you need has to be ordered, assuming it costs extra money (it doesnt), calling your son on the other fucking side of the country, telling him to buy the exact same thing there and when he checks the local webshop what says he has to order it too, saying 'no it has to be available there'? Woke.

Thanks mom very cool.

Super easy to get motivated to work on my own projects every Friday: I look back at how many and how difficult the things I worked on during the week. I take how much I got paid and divide it by the sum of (numProjects * difficulty(1 to 4)). If I spent anywhere near that number on just coffee this week, well then Friday afternoon goes towards working on my own projects (yeah Friday morning- still have a lot of work to do and coffee to drink.)

TIL, shopify plus has whopping 4 requests per second rate limit on their admin rest api's... I don't know how much we pay them but shopify plus pricing starts at $2000 monthly, for a fucking FOUR requests per SECOND.

I just want to thank Steam for making steam guard key in all caps. So I dont need to fucking think about if its uppercase i or lowercase L. It would be much better if they do it on all captcha services or just fucking dont use i l o and 0 characters. These are pisses me off. They are so fucking annoying.

Unity wants me to download whole editor again for a minor update. Damn.

The car I bought last week cost R10 000 (South African Rand) less than the house my parents bought in 1999...

Yea inflation is wack

Learning parallelization in C and then going to java is literally hell

Question & Android

Is there a way on android to limit what apps are allowed to use mobile data and what are only allowed to use wifi?

fuck javascript

took me an hour, but I finally figured out why the date was so wack

can you?

admittedly not strong in js, cuz I hate it

Bugreport @dfox or @trogus

On the Android app, comment a rant and remove it (modify -> delete). After that the last comment before your's will go all the way to the bottom, instead of having a "spacer" for the social buttons.

Can anyone confirm it?

Fuck this dieing pice of cheap chinese android crap. Sure it was anly 250 bucks, but holy hell... I could deal with the software side... Android 6 isn't the newest but eh...
But now the fucking hardware is failing too... To be more precise the buttons seam to randomly fire, which is really fucking annoying. Sometimes when both back and the other button fire the touch screen even joins the party of triggering touches in the right upper corner... Why the fuck ever.

Just ordered a pixel 3a, your days are counted fucking piece of trash!
Had to order the new one to a mailbox in germany though, as google doesn't ship them to switzerland (and the few retailers who import them charge like 130 bucks more, so paying the 5€ pickup fee will be a lot cheaper...)

Suggestions @dfox :
What about profile achievements?
10/100/1000 total +1s
Invent a new metric unit: rants/week
Can @localhost get a gold star or something on his profile for first to 1000?
Silver stars for people who gave an idea that was impliemented
Bronze star for people who have gotten a stress ball

I'm half working on this project, half thinking of DevRant... It's Friday!

Peoples opinion of ASP?
Any hints for learning/using/I got assigned a big project and have no idea what I'm doing?
I said that I know Java. That's half of the word JavaScript. Which you can use while making a web page along side of PHP. PHP kinda sounds like ASP if you say it a bunch of times really fast. That's probably why I have this project...? I can't think of any other reasons?!?!

Guys!! My manager left his computer unlocked and went to a meeting!!!
Suggestions!!?!

Why the fuck can't I switch fuckimg tabs in the Ubuntu terminal with the fucking keybord? I use the terminal, my hands are both on the keyboard not on the fucking mouse! Fuck!
(If there is a shortcut, please let me know)

Question to the frontend devs: I'm currently trying to optimize part of our JS. How do sourcemaps influence loading/rendering Speed in the Browser?

In the `webpack.config.js` we use uglify as minimizer for js. It has the option `sourceMap` Set to `true`. Now as I understand it, this caused it to Inline a sourcemap inside the JS file (which leads to a slightly bigger file size and thus longer load time for the generated file...).

My Question: should sorcemaps be enabled for prod (minified) files? Why yes, why no? Do they help the browser parse the JS faster?

Has any one here experience with 99designs.com? If so good/bad? Would you recommend it? Why/why not? And are there alternatives/what else would you use?

!dev random question vacation

So this is completly non dev and off topic. A friend and I will spend our vacation (2 weeks in september) in Guadeloupe (french oversea department). Both of us speake some french and we've got a rental car.

Has any one of you ever been there (or lives there) and could give us some advice on what to do/where to go?
We also plan to go scuba diving, which we'll probably do on the western side of basse-terre.

Fucking exams... I could realy use a stress ball now :P

*plays song list of a singer in spotify*
*dislikes and immediately closes after 5 seconds*
Spotify: wHo liKeS ThaT sInGeR AlSo liStENs tO tHiS PoDCasTs!

What the fuck spotify?! I DIDN'T LIKE THAT SINGER. In fact, I didn't even listened to a single podcast. Now every fucking day, I have to see uninteresting podcasts on my fucking homepage. And I cant even disable that recommendations or click something like 'I am not interested'
Ü
Spotify: Do you like these podcasts?
Me: No.
Spotify: DO YOU WANNA LIKE IT?

FUCKING NO! JUST STOP! Its been 1 month and that recommendations still hangs on top of my homepage. I had to deal with this and I played somewhat related podcasts to my interests. And you know what? That fucking podcasts are gone! I still dont listen to the podcasts but at least It started to recommend something releated to my interests. Oh god... I hate when you can't customize software you use.

Dear Web developers,
I'm looking to boost my skills and improve work flow. I was wondering what sort of tools, editors or platforms would you recommend? I currently use wordpress, php, jquery, sass, react, node and laravel.

I've heard about awesome ways where you can monitor project changes, something like github but with gui for design drafts and stuff.

Also I heard about good online platform for Web development, something like online sublime text where all your files are saved within cloud platform. I'm looking for something that will unify my work throughout different work places.

Lastly, are there any good sites or new technologies that are fairly popular and good to learn or research?

I discovered the perfect use for DevRant!! Phone meetings!!
Just make sure to mute yourself so people don't wondering why you're chuckling during an 8 am team meeting hahah!!

Any Symfony expert here? I've got quite a tricky question, that I'd love to disqus with another dev.

It's about twig within symfony. I'd like to add a custom node parser, but not for an own tag, but to set some value on each template if it's not set (which can't be done with globals in this case!). I've thought about using a visitor, but from my understanding it gets executed to late, as it requires (probably) to modify the twig AST at compile/parse time.

!rant

Any devs from Scotland here? A few friends and I are planing to visit Scotland. We'll hike down from Buckie to Perth and then continue on to Edinburgh.
Any advice on good pubs or sight seing stuff is appriciated (:
Cheers a Swiss dev.

Anyone at starthack.ch in St. Gallen, Switzerland?

Question: when modeling a language using a nondeterministic finite state machine, do I have to add a "trash" state, if a deterministic one would need one or can it just be obmited and if so why?

So my first computer... My dad got a Laptop somewhere around 96-97 for work as he had to travel a lot abroad. He also used to take work home and work there in the evening or on weekends. I kindof asked if I could play with it and he just opened defragmenting and I loved the animation. At least I think it had some animation. I know another computer I got later had it. However like the second or third time he left me alone with it, I decided to find something else and somehow managed to instead of defragment the hd, format it. Or atleast delete like a few folders on it. However that game was "lame", so I went out to play with a friend, as the computer wouldn't respond after some time. I've never seen him as angry as when I got home.
Long story short, me and my brother soon got our own computer, like a really " old" one the company where my aunt worked sold. It didn't had a cd rom drive, just a 3.5 and a bigger drive. My dad later took the big tape out and replaced it with a cd rom drive. It ran win95 I think. And we later upgraded it to 98

Question about permission in `docker-compose`

So far, I've usually used vagrant for local dev. It was nice, as I was able to specify `wack:wack` as owner of all files. However with docker compose, if I connect with exec and use `/bin/bash` I'm logged in as `root`. When I then run composer, it kind of fucks with the file permissions, as after it all new files are owned by root and thus can't be edited with an ide on the "host" system.

One hack that I found suggested creating an user and a group with same uid as on the host and use that instead of root. This just doesn't sound right to me. Any advice on how to handle this situation?

Hello darkness my old friend...

Currently I own a Lenovo Thinkpad which I bought in 2013. As it is aging, I'm thinking about a replacement. Where would you buy a new laptop, constraints:
- Swiss keyboard (or Option to swap it for one)
- compatible with Linux (prefered if there's a option without Windows pre instaled)
- NVMe SSD
- good battery live
- abillity to upgrade the RAM in the future

I've been looking at System76 now for a while, but since I've worked with Swiss keyboards for the last 12 years, I don't want to switch to an en_us layout...

So where do you buy your laptops?

How do you restore partial data from a mysql backup? Don't worry, nothing is wrong, I'm just thinking about how would I restore something if shit hits the fan.

Our current strategy for database backups is to just run mysqldump during the night, using a cronjob (feel freue to suggest a better way ;))

1) Restoring the full db: just read that sql file into the mysql command.

2) Restoring just one (or some) tables: open the file in an IDE, just select the lines you're after, copy them to a new file, read that one (possible issues: let's say we have a table B to which entries of table A are related and we just want to restore table A. We can't nuke table B too, as also table C is refering to it, so we have to do some orphant removal in B afterwards)

3) Restoring selected entries in specific tables: setup a new db, read the full backup in there, dump these entries to a new file and read that into the real db

How do you so it? Any better aproaches/tools?

Fucking MQTT, go suck some dicks! Can't get that pice of shit to work, sending connect and publish works like a charm but somehow I won't get an acknowledge message which means the publish doesn't go through!
On the brigt side: another oportunity to fire up wireshark and compare my software to other tools.

Anyone expirienced wit MQTT or thingstream.io

P.s. there support also can go and choke on some dicks!

Asking for a friend: Well actually a friend asked me (since "I'm good with computers", you know it ;)) and no real solution came to my mind, so I thought, why not ask the internet

Anyways. She's an artist and does a project (kind of a documentation) about the Egyptian revolution. She currently lives in Europe but still has her Egypian passport. As an Egyptian national, she fears, that she could be holden back for a while and have her laptop/external HD with all the photos/videos/interviews confiscated and/or searched. She asked me for help to have a "backup solution".

The requirements: a way to backup work (from a mac) to a secure location (I would offer my server running linux for it).
The upload would have to be encrypted (if possible, I suggested to use a VPN, is this enough?)
Access to the files should only be granted if you have the propper password (in my opinion the VPN tunnel should work here too, as when it's down, you can't just reopen it without a password.

What are your thoughts on this?