Last year, my company sent me to India to coordinate stuff.
Me, to my wife: "They've chosen me because they trust my social skills."
Her: "OMG, what is the rest of the company like?!"

LOL.. :-)

I want to stop charging my e-scooter at around 85% because this will increase the battery life. To avoid always having to pull the plug at the right level, I made a stop circuit that goes between charging brick and e-scooter.

There's no processor involved, just a CMOS 555 used as inverting Schmitt Trigger which controls a power mosfet. Also two status LEDs and a start switch. The poti adjusts the cut-off level. Worked on first try, with only manual voltage and tolerance calculations beforehand!

Math: the imaginary unit is i.
Electrical engineering: no, it's j.
C hacker: hands off my loop variables!

So I have implemented all the features required for the current release. Carefully reviewed my code several times, but no testing.

Tester: everything passed green. Not sure whether you're a good dev or I'm a bad tester.

Me: let's call it a draw.

Now this is what I love to see whenever I start the terminal

Me, in the zone, staring at the code. Co-worker enters.
Co: hey, can you...
Me (not really listening): no.
Co: it's just...
Me: no.
Co: later?
Me: no.
Co: but...
Me: no.
Co: (leaving)

Swag of a Data Scientist 😎

I built a spherical voronoi minesweep

Wrote some code during the break that transform an image to the following styles, is it good enough to post on github?

A picture is better than a thousand words

Trying to concentrate. Co-worker from another room standing there, BLA BLA BLA, and she's fucking LOUD. But she hates coldness, and it's below 0 °C outside.

So I open two windows, and guess who instantly leaves! Now it's cold, but SILENT. HAR HAR!

Fuck those useless calls!

PM: customer X wants a call in an hour.
Me: they didn't send emails before. No questions, no prep, no call.
PM: yeah but they want to talk.
Me: these unprepared calls are pointless. I'll be sitting there, noting down the questions and telling them I'll have to look up the details.
PM: shall I tell them that you don't want to talk to them?
Me: I don't care, it's your call, do whatever you want.
PM: that's not professional.
Me: oh you're calling it professional to sit there with a pencil, writing down crap or what?
PM: what's the problem?!
Me: I've had this shit for the last two fucking calls, and they were so unprepared that they wasted half of the call just reading up, and I'm fed up with this shit!
PM: but they are the customers, and they aren't that happy.
Me: yeah, and do you know why? Because our schedule is completely fucked up and our management has been ignoring ANY warning from engineering for WEEKS! That's why they are unhappy and not because I'm not holding their fucking hands!
PM: hey, but you can't tell me what I have to do!
Me: and you can't tell me either! [he's my PM, but technically not my superior.]
PM: so no call or what?
Me: you're free to have your call. I'll sort out the shit that they're concerned about, putting that down in a proper email, and then we have at least some basis for discussion!
PM: (left for his call)

Btw., my cursing was the same in the live conversation with him.

Me: You're looking rested - the vacation does you good, it seems.
Co-worker: I didn't have vacation?!
Me: but our PM does.
Co-worker: ...

Reviewing coworker's code:

Me: I see you're doing a convoluted sort for every element twice to get your two lists in sync... 😐
CoWorker: Yeah. *straight face, no regrets* That's the only way to do this.
Me:... Uh... No? You can just manage one list with a simple struct and then use the the standard sort.
Coworker: Yeah sure I know. But it'll take time. We don't have time.
Me: *aghast* This is embarrassingly bad code!
Coworker: Don't worry, later on I'll use a hashmap for it. But this needs to be pushed now.
Me: *to myself, no you don't need a hashmap*
Okay, you do you but I can't back you on this. It isn't going to take a lot of time to correct it.

Next day.
Coworker: Hey can you review my code again?
Me: You've made the changes already? *in a bored tone, knowing that they wouldn't have changed shit*
Coworker: No this is a different file. Our manager agrees that we can worry about performance later.
Me: Sure. *😀🔨🔨*

Few weeks pass by:
QA: The operation takes absurdly long time to complete even with the smallest data. Ten minutes for X is unacceptable.
Me: Who would've known? ☺️

😂
Courtesy - xkcd.com

Not code related, but.....
When you open a pron site and see this

Guess I should save the planet instead of jerking off

Meeting with American customers in Germany. One of them fetched a bottle of water with crown cap, but the opener was missing. She asked whether someone had an opener, so I got out a lighter and opened the bottle. Surprised looks.

My (Indian) PM: "That's a German thing, opening bottles with everything except bottle openers. Even with other bottles."

Customers were like, WTF?!

So I was applying for a research position in linguistic department, and had the interview today.
Prof: So you know excel right

Me: (show a project to him to prove I at least know csv file)
Prof: Ok so you know excel.

Me: Yeah kinda.

Prof: Ok that's good. Cuz right now we are using amazon Turk, and the data they returned, which are excel files, are not really the way we want it.

Me: Ok sounds like a parser can fix it......

Prof: Yeah.... the students in the lab are doing it manually now

(Dead silence)

Prof: Ok move onto next matter

The bad thing today: I killed my laptop with coffee.

The good thing today: it was my company laptop, not my private one.

Me: *reinstalling windows10 using the recovery disk.

"Your partitions will be reformatted if needed... warnings this, that... Continue?"
Me: do it already!

"Recovering... 1%..."
.
.
"Recovering... 1%..."
.
.
"Sorry cannot recover. We didn't change anything."

Me: *reboot
.
.
.
.
"No bootable drive found"
YOU MOTHERFUCKING LIAR! *throws away the thumb drive with the laptop attached out of spite

Code review, here the simplified version. What the fuck has to be wrong with someone who seriously codes the first variant in production code?!

Friday, I got a mail from my PM shortly before I wanted to leave. Basically it was, hey can you check out whether this issue [which I hadn't even heard about] is somehow related to our system? Meeting is in one hour.

My answer: I guess not, otherwise I'd have been in the loop much earlier than one hour before the meeting.

I shut down the PC like a boss and went into weekend.

Office prank time! It was some years ago when the horror movie "The Grudge" came out, with that creepy Japanese dead girl who made that horrible "aaahhhhhh" sound. A coworker, who was just as shocked by the movie as I was, would occasionally send me emails with sceenshots from that movie.

One day, I upped it. I knew he was the first in the office in the morning, so I arrived even before him. It was still dark. I put a walkie-talkie under his desk, set it to "no beep", switched off the lights again and hid two rooms away.

Sure enough, he arrived. I waited for about 10 minutes to be sure he was sitting at his desk. Then I used my walkie-talkie and "aahhhhh".

WOAH, his scream was loud even two rooms away!

Linux: the weather applet in the panel displays the weather. When I open it, it displays more weather details.

Windows: the weather applet in the task bar displays the weather. When I open it, it displays random news and stock prices.

Microsoft can't even do a fucking weather applet right. Everything has to be an incoherent mess.

Stupid shitheads among the web designers, fucking listen up. Your fucking design is not the point of websites - the content is. You are not supposed to shove the content away to have your moron design shine in its purest debility.

Yeah I know, white space minimalism yadda yadda, clean interface - and you dumbasses just remove functionality to simulate a clean interface, to the point of using hamburger fuckups on desktop. Pull your heads out of your asses, that's not how to design an interface! Not to mention that you idiots still guzzle through the megabytes and dozens of domain lookups for your chickenshit minimalism.

While we're at it, not everyone is 20 years old like you youngsters - you won't believe it, but there is life beyond 40, and while such age is unthinkable to you because you are so dumb that you will hardly reach that age anyway, others on this planet have managed to get there. No 20/20 laser sight, you know.

Fuck you with your light grey thin fonts on white background because it looks "clean", it just SUCKS you wankers. Fuck you with your stupid ghost buttons that don't even look like a button. You know how to operate the shit you made, but reality check here, users spend most of their time on fucking other websites than on the abomination you have designed!

Get that into the shit bubble that you call your brain and read WCAG 2.1! That's not only for disabled people, but everyone will be able to use that shit better!

When doing an open source project and users ask for an iOS version:

I wish there is such thing as branch in a relationship. So that whenever a couple are having a fight, they can create a branch and work their shit out in that branch and eventually merge to the master branch.

Wait
Merge....
That just costs.... more conflicts

Me at QA, talking about a nasty bug I found in legacy code.
QA: what was the root cause?
Me: pos code.
QA: pos?!
Me: piece o' shit.
QA: ...

Finally installed Ubuntu and successfully configured the wifi setting, any package I should install?

Damn, credit cards are so fucking secure these days that you hardly can BUY shit with them!
I need some special electronics that I only can get from a vendor in the US, which is overseas. Click click, buy, done. Well no, credit card refused. WTF? Click retry link. No, still refused. FUCK.
Called up the 24/7 hotline of my CC company. Oh yeah, that got blocked by the security system, somehow. We disable that for 20 minutes, just retry. Clicked retry link at the vendor. No failure mail. Hmmm, too good to be true?! Called up the electronics vendor. Yeah should work, stuff is in the warehouse stage. 40 minutes later: credit card declined. FUCK.
Called up the CC company again. Ok, disable blocker for one hour. Nice advice from them, tell the vendor it's only 45 minutes so that there's some buffer. Clicked retry link at the vendor and called them up to make sure that they retry before the time runs out.
LO AND BEHOLD, I could finally pay the shit!!

Python be like

"Yeah this is the absolute best beginner language to learn programming concepts"

Python also be like

"Yeah well we couldnt implement 70% of programming concepts because the ast is retarded but heres a library for drawing 3d cats with a printer"

Hey Arch folks, real devs use Ubuntu!

I'm doing code review. Unsure about the deadline, I ask my co-worker:
Me: "Guess I'm half through, when do I have to be done?"
Co-worker: "Well if you're half through, you are already half done."
Me: "No shit, Sherlock."

LOL

Apple you drove of delusional suckers! When will your retarded fashion devices finally support WEBP?!

A gallery page with images, and thanks to WEBP, it's 408 kB. Because Google made WEBP and handed out a well documented CLI FOSS compression tool that even can convert the source PNGs to lossy WEBP with bloody transparency. Well done, Google!

Except that Apple's shitty management can't take it that Google actually made something nice, so no WEBP. Instead, JPEG-2000 that enjoys nearly no fucking tool support. The free tools that even can deal with that mostly don't support transparency, and the encoder sucks donkeys so that JPEG still fucks JPEG-2000 big time.

So it's JPEG with matching background for iOS. Fine, but since JPEG's blocky artifacts are much more visible, the compression can't be that high, and it's 769 kB. That's 88% more image data for Shittari than for non-retarded browsers and even Edge! EDGE!!

Oh and if the user changes light/dark system mode according to surrounding light conditions, guess what happens? Yep, since JPEG doesn't support transparency, now it's different JPEGs with dark background via the media query in the "picture" element, and it's another 754 kB download. Bloody 1523 kB instead of 408 kB, that's a factor of 3.7!

Fuck your ass Crapple, with an electric eel!

The Windows 11 keynote was such a load of bullshit. All the emo yadda yadda. You know, when I work on Windows, what I feel is irritation, anger, and despise for the amateur shitshow that Microsoft delivers.

In particular, but not limited to the fucking update reboots where Windows sits there uselessly and shells fucking prawns in its own ass!

Oh we now have semi-transparent shit. That's progress! It's so great! Only that it's not because already Windows Vista had Aero Glass, and Windows 8 removed it.

But we we have fucking rounded corners now! Crazy shit, some intern at Microsoft discovered border-radius, or did they dig out some fucking Windows XP copy? That also had rounded corners way before Apple even invented them!

To top it off, Microsoft even failed to deliver the livestream seamlessly and recommended watching it at Twitter. Yeah, that's the fucking "Windows experience" as we know it, you clowns!

My favourite BS quote from Nadella himself: "the web itself was born and grew up on Windows." That guy is so full of shit that an unmaintained latrine in rural India would be envious!

So I met this Professor in my campus recently.. This life-changing conversation followed :
Prof: What are you doing on your laptop?
Me: Sir, I am practicing some coding problems.
Prof : Coding problems? What's your branch?
Me: Electrical Engineering.
Prof: You aren't expected to code. And you aren't taught much coding in your coursework too.
Me : Sir, I take it as a passion and I did learn coding all by myself.
Prof : Rubbish. Learning coding by yourself is similar to saying that you don't require a Prof. to teach you. Just focus on your subjects and stop wasting your time.
Me :Good afternoon, sir. You're right, I did waste my time here.
*Grabs laptop and leaves,hoping he won't be taking any lectures in my next sem. *

I'll buy it on my deathbed, i promise!

God damn I love sublime merge

Starting on Dvorak today... Bglj vd ofuv!

On an afternoon the day before delivery, we discovered a crashing bug. At around 2 AM, we had found the cause and fixed it. A short sleep at home, then back to office at 8 AM because the delivery was 200 devices containing that software, and they had to be updated manually because production had put in the old image.

We seized all available computers, even those from marketing who were... surprised. Half-way in the update, we calculated that we wouldn't have enough time until the freight service would show up.

So we asked the secretary that she should be a bit flirty to the parcel guy, invite him to a coffee and chat around to buy us more time. We closed the last parcel just when he figured that he had to continue with his tour.

Google: hey website owner, use link rel preload for images loaded by CSS to reduce roundtrip delays. Chrome supports that, Safari also, and even Edge does.

Mozilla: we had some bug with preload back in FF 57 and our solution since has just been to disable preload per default. Done. Who would care about loading speed?

Also Mozilla: we have no idea why our market share has been plunging. Google is evil.

Avicii died. 😞😢
At just 28.

He got me through some tough and grueling times. I still use his tunes while coding. I'm still shocked that he left so early. But he made it count. He might've lived short but he lived large.
I'll miss him. I'm sad that he left so early. But his work will live on. I hope to become as good at programming computers as he was at using them to make music. His music was perfection. RIP.

My CPU temperature under sustained full load has reached 46°C where it used to be 43°C. That leaves two conclusions: either the thermal paste has gone bad, or summer has started.

Apple vs. Microsoft: who sucks more?

At first glance, it's obvious that Apple sucks more. Their overpriced products are so bad that they rely heavily on vendor lock-in and cult-like brainwashing.

Then again, Apple's vendor lock-in also acts as buyer lock-out so that it's easy to avoid Apple. Basically, Apple sucking more also means they suck less. Think different indeed.

Microsoft on the other hand sucks more because their crap is so ubiquitous that it's difficult to avoid Microsoft.

That looks like a draw - but here's the tie breaker: Microsoft tries to ape Apple, BUT! Microsoft even sucks at copying Apple's suck.

So here's the final verdict: Microsoft sucks more.

Doing linguistic research where I need to parse 2000 files of a total of 36 GB. Since we are using python the first thing I thought was to implement multi threading. Now I changed the total runtime from three days to like one day and a half. But then when I checked the activity monitor I saw only 20 percent of the CPU usage. After a searching process I started to understand how multi threading and multi processing works. Moral of the story: if you want to ping a website till they block you or do easy tasks that will not use up all power of one core, do multi thrading. If you need to do something complicated that can easily consume all the powers of a single CPU core, split up the work and do multi processing. In my case, when I tried to grab information from a website, I did multi thrading since the work is easy and I really wanted to pin the website 16 times simultaneously but only have 4 cores. But when it come to text processing which a single file will take 80 percent of cpu, split it up and do multi processing.

This is just a post for those who are confused with when to use which.

Interesting bug hunt!

Got called in because a co-team had a strange bug and couldn't make sense of it. After a compiler update, things had stopped working.

They had already hunted down the bug to something equivalent to the screenshot and put a breakpoint on the if-statement. The memory window showed the memory content, and it was indeed 42. However, the debugger would still jump over do_stuff(), both in single step and when setting a breakpoint on the function call. Very unusual, but the rest worked.

Looking closer, I noticed that the pointer's content was an odd number, but was supposed to be of type uint32_t *. So I dug out the controller's manual and looked up the instruction set what it would do with a 32 bit load from an unaligned address: the most braindead thing possible, it would just ignore the lowest two address bits. So the actual load happened from a different address, that's why the comparison failed.

I think the debugger fetched the memory content bytewise because that would work for any kind of data structure with only one code path, that's how it bypassed the alignment issue. Nice pitfall!

Investigating further why the pointer was off, it turned out that it pointed into an underlying array of type char. The offset into the array was correctly divisible by 4, but the beginning had no alignment, and a char array doesn't need one. I checked the mapfiles and indeed, the old compiler had put the array to a 4 byte boundary and the new one didn't.

Sure enough, after giving the array a 4 byte alignment directive, the code worked as intended.

This morning in the office:

- bumblebee grounded
- diagnosed low fuel level
- refueled bumblebee with sugar water
- system check pass, airworthiness restored
- bumblebee asked tower for take-off
- tower opened flight window
- super-clean take-off
- bumblebee left control area

:-)

Now here comes my first zsh shell plugin. Its called dogesay and it will repeat your command with much, wow, nice...

I got two lines of code done today, and they were just changing numeric defines. Time to do that: 2 seconds.

Time for analysing the measurement data of various runs in order to know which numbers will work out: the rest of the day.

Can you see it? :-)

Google cripples ad and tracking blockers: In January, Chromium will switch to Manifest V3 which removes an essential API in favour of an inferior one. As usually, Google is being deceitful and touts security concerns as pretext.

That hits all Chromium based browser, such as my beloved Vivaldi. The team argues with their own browser internal blocker, but that's far worse than uBlock Origin. One of Vivaldi's core promises was privacy, and that will go out of the window. The team simply doesn't react to people pointing that out. They're fucked, and they know it.

So what now? Well, going back to Firefox because that will include the crippled new API for extension compatibility, but also keep the powerful old one specifically so that ad and tracking blockers will keep working. Google has just handed Mozilla a major unique selling point, and miraculously, Mozilla didn't fuck it up.

I didn't even know what photography is a month ago. Then I was going on a road trip with my girlfriend so I bout a camera. Didn't read the manual just watched bunch of videos and realized it was just tuning parameters. Now I'm the master.

Talk with a co-worker who has a bit of a motivational problem.

Him: if I had more fun, I would be more productive.
Me: you're not here for fun, that's why they pay us.
Him: how are you motivated?
Me: by money.

...

A bit later.

Him: do you plan for retirement some day?
Me: no. By then, there won't be retirement anymore. We will eat fried rats in the street.

He starts understanding why I'm wearing black metal shirts.

Funniest meeting ever!

Some years ago, there was the regular department meeting where useless news from upper management were handed down. The team I was in was also there: team lead, co-worker and me. The team lead had a new girl and was daydreaming of their nights, my co-worker wasn't quite back from the football match on the weekend, and I was playing chess on my mobile.

Department lead was blah blah blah and when can we do this on your rig? We looked at each other and instantly realised that none had been paying attention.

My co-worker was the fastest to recover and straight-facedly turned to me: "Well Fast-Nop, that's your domain."

I picked the ball up before team lead could say something: "Sure, but schedule appointment is for our lead."

Our lead couldn't contradict us and then had to negotiate a schedule while trying to find out what it was about. *LOL*

Customer call.

Customer: what's the status of the software?
Me: it's a bit of wood work.
Customer: wood work?!
Me: yes, I think it would work.
Customer: ...
Me: ...

Fuck our new project manager.

Literally all she does in her time is schedule meetings for others and send us emails stating that X needs to be done by date or why are we delayed with Y. Then she even manages to completely screw us with the meetings she schedules.

Today I woke up to seeing a beautiful gapless column of colorful rectangles in my dairy.... for today. And last time I saw this Monday it only had 2.5 hours of meetings!!

Now a lot of us from our team had the Friday afternoon off so it may be that she did this beautiful piece of artwork during that time, in which case she could somewhat rightfully say that we should have taken a look at it. But we actually have a convention to only schedule planning meetings for Mondays which these fucking aren't and even if she hadn't known this, who the fuck schedules a ton of meetings to Monday?! from a Friday afternoon?!?!

By the way the new pretty pink and orange meetings I have today are about actually important topics in between which I would normally appreciate to grab a tea or at least use the fucking restroom. Officially I only have a 45 minute lunch break all day.

Oh and naturally she sets up the meetings as organiser so that we can only suggest her new times and can't change it on our own.

But naturally PM lady never actually attends the meetings because she wouldn't understand shit. So when my fav female colleague, Sammy and I joined our 11am meeting, the first thing Sammy said - well after I greeted her by "wtf" - is to just leave the call on while we grab brunch.

So here I am sitting in the close by park with my brunch and thought I could use the now extended lunch break time efficiently by ranting my ass of and asking you guys why the fuck such people like our PM get paid.

I have to stop being awake until 3 AM coding when I have to be at work at 6..

Uh-oh shit went wrong with umpteen thousand jobs in a pointer heavy, multi-threaded application in raw C. Fuck, some pointer gone wild?!

30 minutes later, after trying to find out how many jobs it takes to start failing. Noticed that it's about the default settings. Wait what? That's where the realloc'ing should kick in, check that.

Aahhhh. Maybe I shouldn't zero the whole buffer after realloc, just the new part. D'uh!

Haha nice, now everyone's avatar is a rubber duck!

Tried to use chatGPT. These motherfuckers want a phone number. Yeah no assholes, fuck you.

In my master equivalent thesis, I was supposed to build upon a year of work from my predecessors. However, I argued that it had no actual foundation and would never work properly, so I threw it away and started from scratch.

The prof was astonished and commented "well it's your thesis", insinuating that the risk was on me. Turned out I had been right.

80% of the letters in "Intel" also appear in "Hitler" while none of the letters in "AMD" do.

The best way to learn any language is to start a project, that’s it, not up for debate

About a year ago we created as an experiment a custom AST-tree with a renderer in React. We finished this part, but never actually finished any view in our app with this, due to other timeconstraints.

This week, our new project manager looked through the usage of the implementation and basically figured it was shit. This part is fine, it was just an experiment.

But then he said that we sgould never use any AST’s ever in our project. I tried to explain that ASTs are a general concept and mentioned that for instance TypeScript uses it. Then he went bat-shit crazy and disallowed the use of typescript. We spent the next two hours explaining that we cannot avoid ASTs and that they are not bad in general.

But we are not allowed to ever implement some similar to an AST. Sometimes, I’m just blown away by the stubbornness combined with ignorance of some people. Either is fine, but not both.

C has too much undefined behaviour because the standards comittee was being lazy and slapped that on a lot of issues that ought to have been implementation defined instead.

The most ridiculous example for UB: An unmatched ' or " character is encountered on a logical source line during tokenization.

Like WTF, that should be a compile time error, and it's easy to detect.

So I finished my first semester in NYU as a CD master. During the first semester I took a class called heuristic problem solving. Every week a competitive game will be introduced to us, and will be played in two weeks. And trust me, the games aren't easy. I teamed up with another guy who I had no idea was and named our team as we don't know. At the end of the semester we won seven out of nine games, and by won I meant that we beat the whole class in the match. And my teammate became a really good friend.

By telling this story, I want to make a point. I love problem solving, and not problems in a algorithm book where you apply an algorithm and do some trick to solve it, but real world problem where you hope for the best and anticipate, predict your opponent's move. However, American's school system doesn't teach that.

When I applied to graduate school, no school wanted me because I have an average GPA of 3.6, and no outstanding achievements. I can solve problems in my dream becaus I have an active mind, I can propose solution to a project one month before my teammates realized they essentially were doing what I told them the solution should be. But so what, I can't write those on my application.

One of the professor told me that my professor shared the story of my team during a faculty dinner, and they were very impressed by our achievement. So I guess I'm not dumb. But after all, companies and schools will look at your transcript and decide who you are.

I love myself for having random thoughts all the time that can lead to innovative problem solving. But I also hate myself for not able to study like the good kids are.

Today in the office, a co-worker and me had a synchronised rant. Both sitting at each our desks, and independently of each other, he suddenly cursed "I hate text fields" while I burst out "network, piece of shit!"

Idk if anyone here noticed.... sudo sounds like 速度 in Chinese, which means quickly. So the every time I use this command I just feel like I'm rushing computer to do something for me

I got a bug report with a typo in it. The subject read "...action X takes long time thank expected."
The thank is supposed to be "than".

I chuckled and immediately created a snapshot that shows the result of the action and the success message says, "Action successful, thank you for your patience."
I shared it with my team but no one even acknowledged it. 😞

I ordered a reduction sieve for my espresso cooker from Amazon, but got this instead (Euro coin for size comparison). They'll resend the correct article, but WTF is this shit even?! Crazy crap!

Worst dev experience was when I was asked to "take a look at" a propriatery Windows app built by a now non-existent team at the company.

The code base resembled the quality of legacy code where about every hour I felt like I needed to vomit. But that wasn't even the worst part for me.

This was the first time I had to develop on Windows and was sent a separate dedicated laptop for this. Now I started to have a bad feeling about this because as far as I had known every single dev at the company used company Macs for development (including me for other projects). It turned out the Windows laptop was indeed configured for a non-dev team :)

Having liased with IT admins for a day I finally got my environment set up and hit install on the dependencies and in 10 minutes it got to less than 10%. The laptop was pretty powerful so I couldn't belive wtf was going on, fans were ramping. Checked task manager and the company Anti-Malware was hogging the whole CPU.

I was so mad that I managed to get the IT admins to completely disable it and then it was only the pain of working with shitty code on Windows which would have been more than enough from the start. Thankfully it only lasted a week.

Me waiting for Gradle to finish building

I fucking hate Reddit
Because I don’t interact with other peoples post too much but do so when the post is mine, I’m considered spammer.
The 90/10 rule is ridiculous.
This morning I got banned from r/internetisbeautiful because of this stupid rule.

Not because my website is not beautiful, hell, it got thousands upvotes. But because I used the same domain for different unrelated projects, same way you can have different GitHub pages under one user.

Fuck this, fuck

So one year ago, when I was second year in college and first year doing coding, I took this fun math class called topics in data science, don't ask why it's a math class.

Anyway for this class we needed to do a final project. At the time I teamed up with a freshman, junior and a senior. We talked about our project ideas I was having random thoughts, one of them is to look at one of the myths of wikipedia: if you keep clicking on the first link in the main paragraph, and not the prounounciation, eventually you will get to philosophy page.

The team thought it was a good idea and s o we started working.

The process is hard since noe of us knew web scraping at the time, and the senior and the junior? They basically didn't do shit so it's me and the freshman.

At the end, we had 20000 page links and tested their path to philosophy. The attached picture is a visualization of the project, and every node is a page name and every line means the page is connected.

This is the first open project and the first python project that I have ever done. Idk if it is something good enough that I can out on my resume, but definitely proud of this.

PS: if you recognize the picture, you probably know me. If you were the senior or the junior in the team, I'm not sorry for saying you didn't do shit cuz that's the truth. If you were the freshman, I am very happy to have you as a teamate.

So I've kicked off the motorcycle season for this year! Scanned some nice roads for speed control traps or road dirt, then the same route with more WABROOOOOO.

That machine is whopping 19 years old, and I still like it as much as on the first day when I bought it as new. Plus that it doesn't have software nonsense, not even injection. Means, it fucking works.

I hate the idea of a programmer's day.
I like the logic (256th day) but hate the idea.
It feels full of bullshit. It feels fake.
I guess it had that wannabe impersonator vibe to it that makes me nauseated.
I have similar feelings towards other kinds of such days.

Wanna know why Windows sucks so much? It's because of the Windows users. No, really!

Windows user: But but but I can't switch away from Windows because MIMIMI!
Microsoft: Ah, is that so? Then why should we even try to make (and pay for) an effort?

interview today

me: and can you tell me a little bit more about your development process? e.g. an example dev cycle from reqs to testing and review...?

senior dev interviewing me:
*gives frustrated/annoyed "why tf are you asking these?" look*
So, uh, we don't really use testing for these projects cuz it would make it harder to refactor later.
(and responded nothing else on the topic)

I left shortly after that.

From Sarah Connor Chronicles, 2008: "They used to think that 12 nanometer scale was impossible. The circuits are so tiny, you're all but in the quantum realm. It's the most sophisticated processor on earth. If you could take your memories, your consciousness, everything that makes you a person, turn it into pure data, and download it onto a machine, that chip could run it."

I'm watching the DVD on a quadcore Ryzen APU that is built in 12nm, and it was already outdated when I bought it last year. I guess I better download myself to my laptop because that's a 7nm Ryzen.

Slapping idiots around.

This needs to be a trend.

---
Actual rant :
I'm sitting in this idiot haven completing my mandatory hours doing nothing. Earlier I would spend this time learning stuff but I'm too fed up to do anything. This place is driving me mad and just today I had to suffer through more madness that is blocking me from resolving a bug.(I don't have the license to run the product I'm supposed to be fixing)
The number of inept idiots is too damn high. I try not to be bothered but I can only try so much.

I trimmed my beard and now can't grow it back.
:/

Every time I have to recall how to LaTeX, it's a huge pain in the ass. It's like learning to code in Greek (I don't know Greek). Happens every single time (it can be months before I need to use it again).

However.

Every time I finish my creation, I fall in love with LaTeX all over again.

So I'm writing some multithreaded shit in C that is supposed to work cross-platform. MingW has Posix threads for Windows, so that saved already half of the platform dependency. The other half was that these threads need to run external programs.

Well, there's system(), right? Uhm yes, but it sucks. It's incredibly slow on Windows, and it looks like you can have only one system() call ongoing at the same time. Which kinda defeats the multithreaded driver. Ok, but there's CreateProcessA(), and that doesn't suck.

Fine, now for Linux. The fork/exec hack is quite ugly, but it works and is even fast. Just never use fork() without immediate exec(). First try under Cygwin... crap I fork bombed my system! What is this shit? Ah I fucked up the path names so that the external executable couldn't be run.

Lesson learnt: put an exit() right after the exec() in the path for child process. Should never be reached, but if it goes there, the exit() at least prevents a fork bomb.

Well yeah, sort of works under Cygwin, but only with up to 3 threads. Beyond that, it seems like fork() at some point gives two processes the same PID, and then shit hangs.

Even slapping a mutex around the fork and releasing it only in the parent process didn't help. Fork in Cygwin is like a fork in the ass. posix_spawn() should work better because it can be mapped more easily to the Windows model, but still no dice.

OK, testing under real Linux. Yeah, no issues with that one! But instead, I get some obscure "free(): invalid size" abort. What the fuck would that even mean?! Checking my free() calls: all fine.

Time to fire up GDB in the terminal! Put a catch on the abort signal, mh got just hex data. Shit I forgot to compile with -O0 and -g. Next try. Backtrace shows the full call trace, back to the originating line in my program - which is fclose() on a file.

Ahhh I remember! Under Linux, fclosing a file that is already closed makes the program crash. So probably I was closing it twice. Checking back.. yeah that's where it was.

Shit runs fast on several cores now!

Bit rot under scientific research: using a very high-end microscope, I was able to take a picture of bit rot in action. It's microtrolls eating the bits!

Not CS degree, but EE, and totally worth the effort. Not only that without degree, I wouldn't get jobs in many companies, but I actually learnt a lot. Laplace and Fourier will be as valid in a 100 years as they were 200 years ago.

Yeah, it was fucking hard. Math was rather OK, only 50% of the students failed the first exam. EE was harder, 90% failed at the first try. That wasn't regarded as problem - on the contrary, the exams were designed to weed out. After two semesters, we already had 50% student loss.

I remember what the EE prof told us in the first semester: we would learn a lot of things, but most importantly, to think like an engineer. Didn't make sense right away, but 5 years later, I knew what he had been talking about.

Dialogue when I entered the room of a co-worker, and it wasn't an individual office.

Me: YO MAMA her son bitching 'bout compiler licence?
Him: Kiss my ass!
Me: Could cram a wet roll of toilet paper down your pants.
Him: Yeah that'd come pretty close.

Other co-workers: WTF?

So I have the new Mac book pro for 8 months now, always thought that the butterfly keyboard issue will never happen to me.

Until three days ago I noticed my space key is kinda sticky.
I have an external monitor so I don’t recall any time I spill water or food directly on the keyboard.

So I made an appointment for a walk in.

BUT this morning, I was like: man, fuck this shit and smashed the space key.

Now it’s fixed.

Good

Wow, I still remember some math after decades. Today, I needed some parameter calculation in an interval with smooth transition at both ends (i.e. continuously differentiable). So I used a 3rd degree polynomial where the values and derivations gave a 4x4 linear equation system. I lazily hacked that into WolframAlpha, and it works nicely.

College student here.
What are the most important skills/assets one should bring to the workplace? As a developer and a colleague.

Code fuckup day or what?! After two weeks where I wasn't on my project and a co-worker handled it, I came back to my project and reviewed what he had done so far.
Me: "I don't understand how this new code part here can work?"
Him: "Uhm, actually, it doesn't, somehow."
Me: "..."
Then he had checked in his stuff with spaces while the whole project is with tabs. And variables that were used in a different way, but still under the old name, now completely misleading. Bypassing existing infrastructure and defines with "just for this case" hacks. But the best was tracking higher level state by peeking into lower level data buffers, even pulling out their data definitions into global header files - instead of using proper states in the higher layer itself.
NOT! IN! MY! FUCKING! PROJECT!!!
So I spent the day cleaning up the shit to fight off software rot right in the beginning.

After talk to the professor I'm working for

Professor: well, take a break.

Me: take a break? I have to report to you next week during spring break and you just released an assignment.

Professor: well but you have three weeks for the assignment.

Me: inside: but you said start early on the assignment

Professor: take a break

Yeaaahhh that moment when the program flawlessly crunches through ten thousands of files, only limited by the slowish HDD! :-)

In full multi-threading, tons of dynamic buffer resizing, pointer shit left and right, also two star programming, and everything written in raw C!

I'm starting to hate 2020. Back pain because of muscle strain, ongoing middle ear inflammation, and now a tooth crown has broken off. Fuck this shit.

This is a mind-blowing mate in 4. Let's call it "Schrödinger's Mate".

Junior engineer asking managers on Slack about prioritisation..

Junior eng: Hey managers, I have these tasks A & B lined up and some other type of work... Is it ok if I finish A by Weds and B by the end of week or should it be done sooner? Also, is the order fine or should I prio B first?

*silence for hours*

Random dev feeling bad for junior getting no response chips in: Hey, you are doing great, that order makes sense to me and let me know if you need any guidance or have questions!

Junior dev: Thaanks and will do!

*another hour goes by*

Manager: Hi team. I have asked other engineer X to do task B tomorrow.

what the fuck. at least answer the fucking question and say it needs to be done sooner. felt bad for poor junior here. :/

Shaving with an old-style safety razor just rocks - that metal thing consisting of three pieces where a slotted, double edged razor blade fits in. With the good Russian Astra Platinum blades at 10 cent per piece where a hundred piece pack lasts for years. The whole thing can be fully dismantled and cleaned.

I can't understand why people use this modern overpriced Gillette shit at 2 EUR per piece that you can't even clean, with debris stuck in-between that starts to rot if you use the blade block more than once. Must be brainwashing by ads. Even worse for women who pay 50% extra for the pink version of that unhygienic shit.

Oh, and real shaving soap with a real shaving brush and not the canned aerosol garbage that doesn't really work anyway.

Oldie but goldie.. after my studies, I was looking for my first job and did interviews. In one of the companies, they asked me whether I knew C. Well yes, I had been programming in C. Ah no, that wasn't enough - they asked whether I was really good in C. I got suspicious and argued that there was the project documentation anyway, right? Turned out, no. The code was the documentation, as I had suspected.
Then my question - as freshman, mind you: "Do you have any plans to get to a more professional way of developing?"
The interview was pretty much over at that point, the boss got actually angry. Well, interviews work both ways, and he had failed. I surely dodged a bullet.

So, Terminator : Dark Fate was in the cinema. Not as good as I had expected, and Hollywood's contemporary in-your-face leftist propaganda made it even weaker.

LOL that's why I love C!

The function pointer cast for strcmp because qsort expects a compare function with two const void * pointers instead of two const char * pointers, that's just beautiful.

Not to mention the hack to abuse strcmp on a struct - which just works because the first struct member is a string and the rest just gets swapped with memcpy as opaque data.

I guess that wouldn't pass a code review at work. :-)

Unpopular opinion: having a good shit tops bad sex.

​​​​​​

My wife was done with exercises on her electronic 88 keys piano.
Me: I also know something nice.
Her: oh so?
Me: (repeatedly typing key #3)
Her: (thinking)
Her: C hacking?!

There's an interesting species out there, the skiplings. They are small, furry beasts, and usually go unseen because they live underground. When there's trembling action however, they leave their burrows to check out what's going on, typically while sitting up.

The rarest breed has the distinct habit of appearing quickly, and once things are observed to be calm, slowly return underground. They are mildly social in that several of them can inhabitate an area, but each has its own little den for sleeping.

Unfortunately, skiplings are a rare species so that they are protected under WCAG 2.1 section 2.4.1 at maximum criticality level A.

Saw this on Reddit, might just implement it

'Hey I found a bug in your code, it's probably a typo, see here.'

Me: Oh right, yeah. How stupid of me. Thanks, I'll push it.

'It's okay. You can push it or I can do it too after you push the changes we just discussed. I actually simplified one of your methods.'

Me: You, what... ?
(You crammed multiple lines in a single line with your stupid as fuck, rigid constructs, removing my error handling, loosely coupled service, in the name of simplification?)

' Yeah it's just four lines in a single function now, no need to call the function again and again.'

Me: (No... Just no. This totally undos whatever little I could do to avoid supporting your idiotic object in the first place.)
Oh... okay, we'll see. I'll let you know.

What life.
Life in a company full of ignorant, inflated egos is no joke.

Details:
I created a service that reads a configuration file and returns the configuration. This person needs five entries for his app logic. He collected them in a object. Quite alright. Except that the class prototype is shitty. I, like a normal person, made my service return a value based on input. I was asked to incorporate this awful object so that I can return the five entries together, which is awful because the service is not supposed to know about how the entries are clubbed. It should most certainly not know about the data members of the object!

Installing a GPU is easy - except if it doesn't fit in the case. I had to saw off 3cm of the upper, 5.25" bay. Just removing the bay cage entirely was not an option because I still need that for my DVD drive.

My bow saw wouldn't have enough space, and the cage is riveted. So despite terrible ergonomics, I used the metal saw of a fucking Swiss Army knife for 24cm of cut length through 1mm steel. Then I filed off the cuts so that I won't injure myself later.

However, I was too lazy to take out the mobo and shit, so I protected it professionally against potential metal dust - with a towel.

My GPU blocks the airflow from the lower front intake fan to the CPU, so I wanted to have a fan in the 5.25" drive bay directly targeting the CPU.

While that bay fits a 140mm fan nicely, there was no mounting point. I ended up making four fan struts out of the metal covers for the 5.25" inserts, the ones that you wiggle out. Drilled holes into the case, a bit of foam above and below the fan to seal the larger gaps, and done.

The trick is ofc that the 5.25" case covers are meshed and hence act both as air intake and dust filter. The CPU runs a few K cooler under load.

My setup: AMD Phenom-2 1100T with fat cooler for silent PC, 16 GB ECC RAM, AMD Radeon HD-6850 passively cooled, WD Blue 1 TB HDD. One 22 inch monitor with 1650 x 1050.
The mouse is a bit broken because the click switch under the mouse wheel doesn't work anymore. The empty bottle in front of the PC is necessary for lying on the room light switch, or else it won't work. And the black/yellow tape is a fix for the worn out seat cover.
But the best, under the monitor, is the little green troll that serves as rubber duck.

Fuck it, I’m gonna build a 4d chess web page deployed on GitHub

I found that one of the pron site I visit is written in Vue .....

Company's HR team has launched a eco drive. As part of the initiative they're asking everyone to use only one tissue paper (among other things) to save trees.
.
.
So they've printed that message on thick glossy papers and pasted them, at least four per washroom among other places.

Okay, I guess.

Both GCC and Clang can switch off the braindead type-based aliasing rules through the "-fno-strict-aliasing" compiler option so that everything can alias everything.

On the other hand, C offers the "restrict" qualifier for pointers where you promise that nothing will alias this memory area, not even same type pointers.

What happens if you use "restrict", but compile with "-fno-strict-aliasing"? Will the "restrict" be obeyed or disregarded?

Answer in the comments.

I just saw the equalizer 2 at the cinema and about half way through there is a phone with "military grade encryption" on it. We see the phone screen showing the encryption and what is it? Freaking JQuery!

A server application pulled off some sort of listings as table. Problem was, it crashed with some thousand data files after one and a half hours. I looked into that, and couldn't stop WTFing.

A stupid server side script fetched the data in XML (WTF!) and then inserted shit node-wise (WTF!!), which was O(n^2) - in PHP and on XML! Then it converted the whole shebang into HTML for browser display although users would finally copy/paste the result into Excel anyway.

The original developer even had written a note on the application page that pulling the data "could take long". Yeah because it's so fucking STUPID that Clippy is an Einstein in comparison, that's why!

So I pulled the raw data via batch file without XML wrapping and wrote a little C program for merging the dumped stuff client-side in O(n), spitting out a final CSV for Excel import.

Instead of fucking the server for 1.5 hours and then crashing, shit is done after 7 seconds, out of which the actual data processing takes 40 bloody milliseconds!

Nvidia at it again. After receiving backlash for trying to pass off a 4070 as 4080/12GB, und "unlaunching" it, they did the same shit again.

This time with a 3060/8GB. Yes, as RTX 3060, a well established product with a lot of reviews, intentionally misleading the customers who think that a 3060 is always the regular 12GB model. And the new shit isn't even cheaper.

The main issue isn't the reduced amount of VRAM, it's cutting down the memory bus from 192 to 128 bits, that costs quite some performance.

So if you see a 3060 and think it might be a bargain, watch out that you don't accidentally end up with the "bait and switch" 8GB model.

Or even better, consider a 6650 XT that is both faster and cheaper than a 3060, and RT is lackluster on the small RTX cards anyway.

The good: use the hardware watchdog in your application control flow.

The bad: don't use a watchdog.

The ugly: trigger the watchdog from a fucking timer interrupt.

So I made a message board and posted it here at devrant

Now there’s a user with username Ass and I don’t know what to do about that situation…. I don’t want to remove him from user, but all he posts is ass…

Fuck me

What the fuck is wrong with Google?!!

Trying to log into Gmail.
Forgot password.
Gmail: To reset, code from authenticator app is required.
Me: Super. Good thing I set it up.
Enters code.
Gmail: Recovery email.
Me : Uh... Forgot that too.
Gmail: Some email address to communicate.
Me: Super!
Enters some other email address.
Receives mail with a link.
Me: Finally!
Opens link

Gmail: "When did you create your account?"
Me: Uh... If I had that kind of memory, we wouldn't be dancing right now.
.
.
.
Gmail: Sorry we couldn't verify you.

WHAT THE FUCK, GOOGLE?!
What sort of sadist play is this?!

Dropped them a mail to get access back. Got a link in the auto reply that explains how to repeat the above process. WTF?!

What the actual fuck?!

PCs are a clusterfuck these days. Microsoft has abandoned the niceness of Win-7 and opted for Win-10 - with spyware, untested forced updates and forced online licence checks to make sure you have to get the shit. Macs are total crap, and Apple doesn't care because they instead prefer to milk customers with overpriced iShit. Linux sucks and looks like a Soviet tractor, but at least, it doesn't fuck up itself just by switching it on.

I had Linux as only OS from 2001 to 2010, and while I obviously can deal with it, I finally hated it enough to switch over to Win-7. From 2020 on, it looks like I will be back because Microsoft has managed to fuck up Windows even worse (and then these suckers wonder why Github users don't trust them). Maybe I'll buy a Tux when I install Linux so that I can punch it in the face.

Progress was yesterday - today it's about damage control. Welcome to a world where the brightest CS guys are thinking about how not only to shove up even more ads into peoples' asses, but how to also transmit lab data of the poo.

Google: we want to crack down on adblockers in Chrome and remove APIs. If we threw out Chrome store extensions that use the old ad blocking APIs, Chromium forks would be hit as well, haha!

Vivaldi: we've integrated DuckDuckGo based ad and tracker blocking right into our Chromium based browser. Also for Android now, haha!

Back with more features now!
Cuz I don't have anything to do at work

This image is composed of screenshots from season three

I feel this should go without saying: When you submit your curriculum vitae to a company in search of a job offer, or at least an interview then plz plz plz pretty please eith cherries on top make sure that you at l ast tailored the application towards the general direction of the industry for which you are trying to apply.

Some of the applications we got......booooooooooy these people.....

Uh-oh I fucked up.

Not at work, but with my website where I had an email forwarder to an external address. The forwarding was everything so that I could do the spam filtering and occasional check in one place. Unfortunately, that triggered the spam detection at the external address (after some years!), and my provider ended up on a blacklist.

That got me a pretty angry mail from my hosting provider who had already disabled the forwarding and wanted to make sure that I understood the issue and would not put it in again.

I thought about whether they had fucked up because it was even possible to do that, or whether I had fucked up because I should have known. Hm yeah I opted for the latter and apologised.

The support guy seemed happy that I didn't try to argue (possibly like other customers...), and advised that I just should add another account in my email client. Sure, at least that will prevent this shit from happening again.

He also mentioned that every single blacklist issue they had experienced in this year was accidental due to external forwarding issues and that they would consider just disabling it altogether.

Which is probably a smart move, just as hint for these ranters here who work at hosting companies. Or at least only enable external forwarding if spam assassin or so is in place.

When your professor invented the subject and you don't understand his lecture so you go online and search for the term and all you found is his slides from other universities when he was a professor over there.

WOOOOOSH!

Did you see him? That's the superhero we need and deserve: Weekendman!

How surprising is it when a person designs code in a very clear and impressive structure and just when you think about asking them for guidance, they reveal themselves to be complete turds?

I've been working with this person's "infra" code, at work. I've rewritten some classes to use their infra. I had a vague idea of how the classes work. I had no idea of how their code works. Expectedly, there were some issues but now only minor ones remain.
I asked them for a description of what I'm supposed to do for the few bugs I'm facing. They replied in such a condescending tone, it made me want to punch them through the screen.
Almost a month later, we're still going back and forth with emails. I've been swallowing it and responding calmly. I never got direct answers. Always deflections to irrelevant things or veiled insults. I took it because they did correct one silly error of mine that actually my code reviewer should've caught. (What's worse is that it got introduced by me just before my review and commit.)
But does that give them the right to insult me in front of the whole team including my project manager? I got a reply today from them with everyone of note in cc implying very clearly that I have not done any work. They highlighted a line from my code with some todo tag (that was not meant for them) to make their invalid point. A line that's unrelated to the bug I asked them about. This is after I proved them wrong when they insisted that I had done something wrong about a feature related to the bug.

If you don't understand what I asked for fucking ask me to ask again. But do not fucking try establish yourself on higher ground by pointing out irrelevant things in my code.
I was shocked and enraged that they'd do such a thing. I double checked everything like a mad man. Despite knowing that the fix has to come from them, I was instantly transported to the noob stage, grasping at straws. I wanted to send a really scathing reply right away but my manager asked me to wait.

My mind is now a see saw shifting between a panicked noob questioning every fucking thing I ever did in my nada life and a hungry enraged monster looking to maul that fucking shithead for burning me like that.

Asus announced their AM5 board X670E Extreme. The E already stands for Extreme, which makes it an Extreme Extreme.

My feeling is that AM5 will be extremely - expensive!

That's because the AM5 LGA socket moves cost from the CPU (formerly PGA) to the mobo, but AMD certainly won't drop CPU prices, rather the opposite, and then there's also DDR5 as cost driver, not to mention tons of PCIe 5.0 where we don't even have AIBs.

On the upside, that would finally end the days of GPUs causing a disproportionately large share of the system cost - if only because the rest gets more expensive.

Friday afternoon, the week's work is finished, and I'm ahead of schedule.
An email arrives for another project.. "URGENT yaddayadda". The dickheads where it came from have taken weeks to react, and now it's urgent. Yeah, fuck you assholes, ideally with a smoothing iron.
On the upside, I'm not addressed directly, and that project isn't my task. But boss could make it mine in no time, and I think he would.
I don't even open the email, nobody has seen it anyway yet, AND I GO HOME! :-)

wait until everyone else is fucking asleep

What a coincidence. JQuery gets an update to 3.4.0 - and I removed the JQuery dependency that a mid-sized widget (15 kB minified) needed.

Rewriting the selector, css and trim stuff was easy. Each, children, append, empty, remove and extend were not too hard. Animations gave me more headache, but in the end, JS triggered CSS transitions worked nicely.

I was able to shave off the usual 30 kB over the wire for JQuery, and the whole thing seems snappier. Finally, I'm at vanilla everything!

Of course, it's largely due to JQuery's merits that vanilla JS is where it is today. So, thank you JQuery, and farewell.

The primary concept of reactive programming is great. The idea that things just naturally re-run when anything they rely on is changed is amazing. Really, I think it's the next step in programming language development and within a decade or two at least one of the top 5 programming languages will be built entirely on this principle.
BUT
Expecting every dependency to be used unconditionally is stupid. Code that checks everything it might need all the time even if a decision can be made from much less information is simply bad, inefficient code. If you want to build a list of dependencies automatically, you have to parse the source.
And I really hate that there are TONS of languages that either make the AST readable at runtime or ship with a very powerful preprocessor that could be used to analyse expressions and build dependency lists, but by its sheer popularity the language we're trying to knead into something it was never and still isn't meant to be is JavaScript.

Me to QA: I need an urgent signature.
QA: That costs a cake.
Me: If we baked cake at our company, that would have too much sugar, and we would use more salt as workaround.

Why is fucking Chrome still not able to auto-hyphenate on Windows desktop?! Yeah I know the dictionaries, OS integration yadda yadda, BUT:
1) TeX did this 40 years ago, this is a solved problem in CS!
2) Firefox is a 3rd party application in Windows, just like Chrome, and can auto-hyphenate!

Telecon about new requirements. I brought up concerns that while the customer's new approach would fix some problems, it would also fuck up something else.

Customer panicked because he didn't have an answer. I calmed him down that this telecon wasn't about finding answers, only for ensuring that we were on the same page with the questions. Customer relieved.

I actually explained the purpose of the telecon to the customer who had scheduled it. WTF.

Testing had some issues with system integration. I asked them what their setup was.

Answer: "Almost similar to the real hardware."

LMAO!

LinkedIn recruiter:
- messages me about a fantastic job opportunity
- waits exactly 3 days
- messages me asking about the cool company I work at and how I find the engineering department here
- again 3 days
- messages me saying that he has heard some amazing recent news (there were none) about the fast growing company I work at and asks how I feel about the changes caused by our headcount growth
- 3 more days go by
- today, I get a notification that this recruiter has given me random LinkedIn endorsements for some skills that I had put on my profile back in college and since then forgot about even the existence of the endorsements feature

My favorite part is that the job they had originally sent expects a few languages and other tech skills most of which I actually have listed on my profile, but naturally, he only endorsed me for skills not required for said job spec.

What kind of weird sorcery is this?

I hate having to deal with our IT service desk. Every time it takes enormous energy to get to the right people and make them understand that no, you are not an idiot, but you actually have a technical issue.

Sure thing they do have a few competent nice folks there too I've gotten to know over time and they indeed have to deal with a ton of dumb non-tech savvy idiots on a daily basis. However, if my job title mentions "software" and "engineer" they should at least assume I'm an idiot in tech. Or something. Every single time I need to open a ticket, even for the simplest "add x to env y", I need to quadruple check that the subject line is moron-friendly because otherwise they would take every chance to respond "nah we can't do that", "that's not us", or "sry that's not allowed". And then I would need to respond, "yes you do:) your slightly more competent colleague just did this for us 2 weeks ago".

Now you might imagine this is on even another level when the problem is complex.

One of our internal apps has been failing because one of the internal APIs managed by a service desk team responds a 500 status code randomly but only when called with a specific internal account managed by another service desk team.
(when I say "managed by", that doesn't mean they maintain it, it just mean they are the only ones who would have access to change something)

Yesterday I spent over a fucking hour writing a super precise essay detailing the issue, proving a million times it's not on our end and that they need to fix it. Now here is an insight to what beautiful "IT service" our service desk provides:

1) ticket gets assigned to a "Connectivity Engineer" lady

2) few hours later she responds and asks me to give her the app and environment IDs and grant her access to those
(naturally everything in my email was ignored including these two IDs)

3) since the app needs to be in prod for the issue, I make a copy isolating the failing part and grant her access to the original "for reference" and the copy to play with

4) few hours later I get an email from the env that some guy called P made changes to the actual app, no changes to the copy
(maybe they immediately fixed the app even though I asked them to only touch the copy)
I also check the env and the live app had been shared with another 2 people giving them editing rights:)

5) another few hours pass and the lady responds that she had been chatting with P (no mention of who tf that guy is) and that P has a suggestion that might work and I should test it, "please see screen shot" for details:

These motherfuckers sent me a fucking screenshot of the env config file where "P has edited a few parameters" that might help. The screenshot had a 16 line part of the config json with a bunch of IDs and Base64 params which HE EDITED LOCALLY.

Again, because I needed a few iterations to realise what I've just witnessed:
These idiots modified some things in the main app (not the copy) for hours. Then came to the conclusion that the config needs some IDs and params updated. They downloaded the config json. Edited it locally. Did not fucking upload it back to the main or test app. Did not test it live. Did not CC in or direct the guy with changes to me. Did not send me the modified config file. Did not even paste the new IDs into the email. But TOOK A FUCKING SCREENSHOT OF THE MODIFIED FILE AND SENT THAT SHIT TO ME. And then had the audacity to ask me to test it when they had access to it and that's literally their fucking job.

I had to compare the fucking screenshot to the live config file and manually type in the changes.

And no, it still doesn't work. And Now I have to get back to them showing it still fails the same way but I just can't deal with these people. Fuck. Was hoping by the time I write it all down it'd be better, and it does feel a bit better, but I still need to get this app fixed. And I can only do it through these... monkeys. I just can't. Talking to these people drains my life energy... I'm just sad.

If anyone looking to start learning blender because of any reason (like being a masochist among others), check out blederguru's tutorials.
The guy is doing God's work. At least animation Gods. Funny, awesome & detailed content.

Never wrote a website before

Wanted to write a website for myself just for PhD application.

Learned Vue on Saturday and wrote the website in three days.

Conclusion: fuck css

I can post the website if anyone is interested to take a look though

A coworker asked me about a specific tool because he "had heard" that I had some experience with it, whether that tool would allow a certain use case, and whether there was some documentation.

Wait, in which project was that? None of mine anyway, hmmm... ah that one, from a few years ago. Who wrote the reports back then? Can you guess?

THAT MODDAFOKKA!

Everyone wants faster programs, so doing more optimisations with GCC at -O3 instead of -O2 makes the program quite a bit larger, but... SLOWER. Makes sense, right? Why do you even have -O3 if it generates larger AND slower binaries than -O2?

Ah IC, it's because you use that level only on individual hot functions, not on the full program. How do I do that? Function attribute for optimisation. Cool. Uhm, what is the exact syntax? The fucking GCC documentation doesn't say that. When will devs finally learn to give bloody EXAMPLES?!

Googling around. Ah, with quotes, but without the leading hyphen it seems. Copy/paste. Compile again, tadaa: it's only a little bit but still FUCKING SLOWER than -O2!

GCC's -O3 is like that stupid kid at McD that ate like a damn horse, had to vomit afterwards and was even more hungry than before!

Everyday I go on Reddit to find memes, and share it with my girlfriend. Maybe I should build a website for this?

Guys, a company's HR mailed me for a position that requires strong experience of ">3 years in Python with C or C++".

Does it mean Python and C/C++?
Or do they need someone who is using C/C++ to write Python?

I have some experience with adding Python support to C++ code. Does it count? 😁

How many of you wear shades at work?

I started doing it after I faced some problems due to the extremely bright lights. It's such a complicated problem that no one in the management or admin team can do anything about it. 🙄

What's wrong with Mozilla?!

Savvy webdevs use link preloading to break up dependency chains for late discovered resources, and users like the faster loading as result. Firefox 56 started supporting that two and a half years ago. Turned out they had screwed up and it didn't work with non-cacheable resources. So Mozilla "fixed" that by disabling the feature altogether behind some config flag.

And they left it at that - still not supported. They even had patches, but decided not to merge them and instead try something different, some day.

Is Firefox becoming the new IE or what?

Same procedure as last year? Same procedure as every year for the last truly static website holdouts: change the year in the template, re-compile, upload.

Fucking customer industrial machine doesn't work properly because the dumbass who designed the control algo failed to consider basic physics how this shit is even supposed to work. Just to be sure, he also included some race condition in the measurement part of the software.

Today, I got some crap on my desk with possible bug reports from the field. They have been lingering somewhere for fucking MONTHS, and suddenly, an immediate answer was due. I was the unlucky one who was the least clueless about the product involved. SHIT.

OK, sifted through the reports. Some of them were duplicate, others obviously not our problem. No idea where to even start for the rest. FUCK, it's Friday!

But here comes "senior dev secret knowledge"(tm). Instead of saying WTF-IDK, I proposed an "action plan"(tm) (that BS term alone...) detailing the steps that we would need to take, and since I had no idea how long we would need, I just added enough steps in the "action plan"(tm) to make two weeks of investigation believable.

PM was very happy and just took that as direct customer reply. Now it's weekend anyway. :-)

PM: Heyy team x, could we have a suuper quick 90 sec tops call?

B*tch, if the call is actually 1.5m there is no way we need that call. We can actually respond to your question in text quicker.

But I know you. You can't fool me that it would actually be 90 seconds.

It's also fucking Friday afternoon.

fml

Anyone else annoyed by their scumbag brain that is hard to please but gets content easily?
Or is it just me?

Website idea:

If you can leave one sentence to the world, what would it be.

I want to build a website where people post those sentences.

Yeah so I quickly hacked stuff together. Why make it beautiful before I know whether it will actually do? Hack now, refactor later!

Yeah and then that moment in refactoring where main() gets under 700 lines and I don't know whether what I'm feeling is joy or despair. Gaaaahhhh!

At least I have also written automatic tests so that I can see when something breaks.

Somehow, a continue instead of break in a switch-case looks weird. Although it makes perfectly sense with regard to the outer for loop.

Yeah, my new e-scooter arrived today! I just have to get the insurance sticker that is legally required here; I'll do that on Monday.