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Choosing a pc to buy.
- kids: "can it run minecraft?"
- casual gamers: "can it run overwatch?"
- serious gamers: "can it run witcher 3?"
- business people: "can it run several excel sheets?"
- me: "can it run linux?"48 -
4+ years of programming.
Still have no clue how to make my own regex pattern.
Every single time I need to, I always open 4 cheat sheets and/or stackoverflow.24 -
😤😤😤 People need to stop believing these sheets in fortune cookies, they are printed using a Linux binary!
10 -
Today I discovered that we have a CSV export button for an order transaction system, on a page which is completely disconnected from the rest of the website.
It is only being called by an internal server, used by our Data department.
They run selenium to click the button.
Then they import the CSV into a database.
That database is accessed by an admin panel.
That admin panel has an excel export button.
Which is clicked by our CFO. But he got bored of clicking, so he uses IFTTT to schedule a download of the XLS and import it in Google Sheets.
That sheet uses a Salesforce data connector.
Marketing then sends email campaigns based on that Salesforce data...
😒11 -
I am currently working for a client who have all their data in Google Sheets and Drive. I had to write code to fetch that data and it's painful to query that data.
I can definitely relate with this.
PS: Their last year revenue was over US$2 Bn and one of their sibling company is among Top IT companies in the country.
7 -
Probably the biggest one in my life.
TL:DR at the bottom
A client wanted to create an online retirement calculator, sounds easy enough , i said sure.
Few days later i get an email with an excel file saying the online version has to work exactly like this and they're on a tight deadline
Having a little experience with excel, i thought eh, what could possibly go wrong, if anything i can take off the calculations from the excel file
I WAS WRONG !!!
17 Sheets, Linking each other, Passing data to each sheet to make the calculation
( Sure they had lot of stuff to calculate, like age, gender, financial group etc etc )
First thing i said to my self was, WHAT THE FREAKING FUCK IS THIS ?, WHAT YEAR IS THIS ?
After messing with it for couple of hours just to get one calculation out of it, i gave up
Thought about making a mysql database with the cell data and making the calculations, but NOOOO.
Whoever made it decided to put each cell a excel calculation ( so even if i manage to get it into a database and recode all the calculations it would be wayyy pass the deadline )
Then i had an epiphany
"What if i could just parse the excel file and get the data ?"
Did a bit of research sure enough there's a php project
( But i think it was outdated and takes about 15-25 seconds to parse, and makes a copy of the original file )
But this seemed like the best option at the time.
So downloaded the library, finished the whole thing, wrote a cron job to delete temporary files, and added a loading spinner for that delay, so people know something is happening
( and had few days to spare )
Sent the demo link to client, they were very happy with it, cause it worked same as their cute little excel file and gave the same result,
It's been live on their website for almost a year now, lot of submissions, no complains
I was feeling bit guilty just after finishing it, cause i could've done better, but not anymore
Sorry for making it so long, to understand the whole thing, you need to know the full story
TL:DR - Replicated the functionality of a 17 sheet excel calculator in php hack-ishly.8 -
Boss: Google Excel sucks!
Me: You mean Google Sheets.
Boss: Whatever, there used to be formulas for the cells, just like offline Excel, but now it has some weird text like a web address...
Me: You're looking at the web address bar. Look down 20px and you have the cell formula.
Boss: Oh! Still, I don't like this Online Excel!11 -
Back when I was in college I had this CS professor who was by far the worst I can remember. The class was some bullshit 100 level required intro to CS course, and the guy tried to make it as difficult as possible. Beyond that, he was just a bad professor and did stupid things.
One of the most memorable things he did was give homework assignments, and then in order to collect them (it was a lecture class of about 150 people), he would have everyone pass their printed assignments to the right, and these sheets of paper traveled all the way across the lecture hall in every row of seats. It was a complete mess.
As you can probably guess, he frequently misplaced homework assignments, and many were probably lost through this ridiculous method of turning them in. Some people almost failed this ridiculously easy class because he lost their homework assignments. I think he lost like one of mine so it didn't matter much, but some other people in the class almost failed because of this. I think in the end he had to make a lot of exceptions because of this obvious trend.
Beyond that, he was an older guy who had worked for IBM, and he made that known at least once per class, usually more. "IBM this, IBM that!" So fucking annoying.
I'm glad to be long done with college.6 -
curl cheat.sh — get an instant answer to any question on (almost) any programming language from the command line
tldr
do curl cht.sh/go/execute+external+program to see how to execute external program in go
And this question: why I actually should I start the browser, and the browser has to downloads tons of JS, CSS and HTML, render them thereafter, only to show me some small output,
some small text, number or even some plot. Why can't I do a trivial query from the command line
and instantly get what I want?
I decided to create some service that will work as I think such a service should work.
And that is how wttr.in was created.
Nowadays you probably know, how to check the weather from the command line, but if not:
curl wttr.in
or
curl wttr.in/Paris
(curl wetter in Paris if you want to know the weather in Paris)
After that several other services were created (the point was to check how good the console
can solve the task, so I tried to create services providing information
of various nature: text, numbers, plots, pseudo graphic etc.):
curl rate.sx/btc # to check exchange rate of any (crypto)currency
curl qrenco.de/google.com # to QRenco.de any text
And now last but not least, the gem in this collection: cheat.sh.
The original idea behind the service was just to deliver a various UNIX/Linux command line cheat sheets via curl. There are several beautiful community driven cheat sheet repositories such as tldr, but the problem is that to use them you have to install them first, and it is quite often that you have no time for it, you just want to quickly check some cheat sheet.
With cheat.sh you don't need to install anything, just do:
curl cheat.sh/tar (or whatever)
you will get a cheat sheet for this command (if such cheat sheet exists inf one of the most popular community-driven cheat sheet repositories; but it surely does).
But then I thought: why actually show only existing cheat sheets? Why not generate cheat sheets or better to say on the fly? And that is how the next major update of cheat.sh was created.
Now you can simply do:
curl cht.sh/python/copy+files
curl cht.sh/go/execute+external+program
curl cht.sh/js/async+file+read
or even
curl cht.sh/python/копировать+файл
curl cht.sh/ruby/Datei+löschen
curl cht.sh/lua/复制文件
and get your question answered
(cht.sh is an alias for cheat.sh).
And it does not matter what language have you used to ask the question. To be short, all pairs (human language => programming language) are supported.
One very important major advantage of console oriented interfaces is that they are easily
programmable and can be easily integrated with various systems.
For example, Vim and Emacs plugins were created by means of that you can
query the service directly from the editor so that you can just write your
questions in the buffer and convert them in code with a keystroke.
The service is of course far from the perfection,
there are plenty of things to be fixed and to be implemented,
but now you can see its contours and see the contours of this approach,
console oriented services.
The service (as well as the other mentioned above services) is opensource, its code is available here:
https://github.com/chubin/cheat.sh
What do you think about this service?
What do you think about this approach?
Have you already heard about these services before?
Have you used them?
If yes, what do you like about them and what are you missing?
26 -
TABLE BASED WEB DESIGN
I was surprised there were no rants about this topic before I realized it was more than a decade back 😳
We've never had it better! So to help add a little perspective for all those ranting about what is unarguably the golden age for web developers... let me fill you in on web dev in the late 90's;
JavaScript was a joke. No seriously! - I once got laughed out of the room for suggesting we try use it for more than disabling a button - (I wanted to check out the new XHR request thingy [read AJAX]).
HTML was simple and purely a markup language (with the exception of the marquee tag). The tags were basically just p,ul,ol,h*,form inputs,img and table and html took 10 minutes to learn. Any style was inline and equally crude - anything that wasn't crude could not be trusted and probably wouldn't render at all in most browsers (never mind render correctly).
There were rumors of a style TAG and something called a cascading style sheet which were received with much skepticism since it went against the old ways and any time saved would be lost writing multiple [IE version specific] style sheets for each browser just to get it to work - so we simply didn't.
No CSS meant the only tags you had to work with to create a structured layout were br, hr and table... so naturally EVERYTHING was in nested tables! JS callback hell can't touch this! - it was not uncommon to have 50+ nested tables all with inline style in a single page which would be edited without any dev tools or linting.
You would spend 30 minutes scanning td tags until your eyes bled to find something, make a change, ftp the file to the server, reload the web page and then spend 10 minutes staring at the devastation on your screen convinced you broke
the internet before spotting an un-closed td tag with your bloodshot eyes.
Tables were not just a silver bullet - they were the ONLY bullet and were in the wild west!
Q: Want an inline form or to align your inputs left?
A: Duh table!
Q: Want a border with round-corners, a shadow or blur?
A: That's easy! Your gonna want to put that table in the center cell of another table then crop a image of the border into 6 smaller images to put in the surrounding cells... oh and then spend 10 minutes fucking with mystical attributes like cell-padding and valign to get them flush.
...But hey at least on the bright-side vertically & horizontally centering stuff was a breeze!23 -
Navy story time again.
I was a cadet, 1st year, final exams in """CS""". Our """professor""" was handing out the exam sheets, when I told him that one of the questions couldn't be answered by what he had taught. He had supposedly taught us C++ (I would insult every C++ tutorial, however shitty, if I called his class introductory or even elemental).
To give you a better idea of the situation, I'll only say this: one of the questions was "Name three brands of antivirus software."
I. SHIT. YOU. NOT.
This was supposed to be a Naval Academy that trained officers, by the way. Anyway, the question at hand was a program that must use recursion to solve a particular problem. I had been studying programming since high school, so I was not bothered by it, but everyone else was. Anyway...
Once I told him that, he threw a fucking fit. He screamed (as our overseeing officer watched in confusion) that we weren't paying attention, that we were just playing around and watching porn sites (BTW I discovered after that, that most porn videos were on the campus server, in write-protected folders that no student had permission to write, but professors and administrators did. Curious... but my ITSec misdeeds are for another day). Anyway, I got so angry at that idiot, I started writing (yes, programming on paper, if you whine about your IDE/text editor, think about that) the program. Until I found out that I didn't know WTF I was writing. The time was up, however, and I had to give my paper. To this day I have no idea what I wrote and what it did (if anything).
Got perfect score. Only one in class.8 -
--- Save some time with Google's .new-Domains ---
A few days ago, Google announced their new '.new' domains.
By using them you can save plenty of time when creating new Docs, Sheets, Slides, Sites or Forms.
So instead of going to Google Drive and creating the document there, users can just input the corresponding URL into the browser!
Here are a few examples:
> 'doc.new' or 'docs.new' or 'documents.new' to create a new Google Docs document (https://doc.new/)
> 'sheet.new' or 'sheets.new' or 'spreadsheet.new' to create a new Google Spreadsheets document (https://sheet.new/)
> 'site.new' or 'sites.new' or 'website.new' to create a new Google Sites website (https://site.new/)
> 'slide.new' or 'slides.new' or 'deck.new' or 'presentation.new' to create a new Google Slides document (https://slide.new/)
> 'form.new' or 'forms.new' to create a new Google Forms form (https://form.new/)
This is also useful for creating special bookmarks in the browser!
34 -
My internship at startup:
Dream: Lots of coding
Reality: Maintaining Excel sheets for API functions.😑14 -
Every step of this project has added another six hurdles. I thought it would be easy, and estimated it at two days to give myself a day off. But instead it's ridiculous. I'm also feeling burned out, depressed (work stress, etc.), and exhausted since I'm taking care of a 3 week old. It has not been fun. :<
I've been trying to get the Google Sheets API working (in Ruby). It's for a shared sales/tracking spreadsheet between two companies.
The documentation for it is almost entirely for Python and Java. The Ruby "quickstart" sample code works, but it's only for 3-legged auth (meaning user auth), but I need it for 2-legged auth (server auth with non-expiring credentials). Took awhile to figure out that variant even existed.
After a bit of digging, I discovered I needed to create a service account. This isn't the most straightforward thing, and setting it up honestly reminds me of setting up AWS, just with less risk of suddenly and surprisingly becoming a broke hobo by selecting confusing option #27 instead of #88.
I set up a new google project, tied it to my company's account (I think?), and then set up a service account for it, with probably the right permissions.
After downloading its creds, figuring out how to actually use them took another few hours. Did I mention there's no Ruby documentation for this? There's plenty of Python and Java example code, but since they use very different implementations, it's almost pointless to read them. At best they give me a vague idea of what my next step might be.
I ended up reading through the code of google's auth gem instead because I couldn't find anything useful online. Maybe it's actually there and the past several days have been one of those weeks where nothing ever works? idk :/
But anyway. I read through their code, and while it's actually not awful, it has some odd organization and a few very peculiar param names. Figuring out what data to pass, and how said data gets used requires some file-hopping. e.g. `json_data_io` wants a file handle, not the data itself. This is going to cause me headaches later since the data will be in the database, not the filesystem. I guess I can write a monkeypatch? or fork their gem? :/
But I digress. I finally manged to set everything up, fix the bugs with my code, and I'm ready to see what `service.create_spreadsheet()` returns. (now that it has positively valid and correctly-implemented authentication! Finally! Woo!)
I open the console... set up the auth... and give it a try.
... six seconds pass ...
... another two seconds pass ...
... annnd I get a lovely "unauthorized" response.
asjdlkagjdsk.
> Pic related.
22 -
Gotta love clients which ask you for a quote to expand the system you did for them, then a week or two later "accidentally" found some cheap absolutely garbage dev that made it for 1/5th of your price and during all that destroyed half your work, by e.g. replacing uuids with just ids, making the system now leak how many users there is, all their user saved content, allowing to just increment through them all, also then acting surprised when I decline any further work with them.
Then theres also clients that even after explaining all physical or software limitations, act like you should be a core developer and just fix that, for fucks sake you were using freaking excel sheets before, be happy with any possible change.3 -
They made a full fucking application in MICROSOFT EXCEL!!!!!!!
who the fuck makes an app in Excel? Though it's used internally, it has over 100 users and Everytime there's an update a new file is sent to all of them by mail. They use different excel files as DBs and tables as sheets. It's even got a fucking UI with check boxes and drop-downs and shit
Now guess what my task is?
Understand that entire application from the Excel files and make a webapp to cater to those requirements.
Fuck documentation, there are bugs in the Excel file and I need to fix the bugs in my app
Some good soul please tell me how must one start analyzing an Excel sheet to understand the logic behind it. Or a tool that magically converts "excel applications" to webapps25 -
My friend loves Dreamweaver... And continuously says that he doesn't understand what people see in it that is so wrong... It does the job right?...... Fucking blind...
Uses a bootstrap plugin which generates HTML code for bootstrap.
I did not know this at the time.
Comes to me the night before submission.
He: Dude i need help quick! I've got the presentation tomorrow morning and bootstrap fucked up the links to my style sheets or something, my page is broken and won't work. I should have done what you did and gone for Foundation...
Me: Yeah, because the bootstrap framework definitely affects the style links...
He: help me out man, please! I can't do this anymore!
I had my submission the day after him to prepare still...
Me: Teamviewer. Now.
Log on to Teamviewer.
See what he's using to code...
Dreamweaver..... Niiiiice....
I go through the code. There are empty divs with &nbsc; in them everywhere.. some HTML elements haven't been closed, no comments, indentation seems to be completely random. All the usual shit storm of a novice web designer.
The only thing is, this guy I know knows how to indent, I've seen his previous work. Why is this so horrible then???
I ask what the hell happened, it looked like a nuclear explosion happened!
He: Yeah I'm using this great plugin for Dreamweaver which lets me click and it puts in Bootstrap elements! It's great!
........ You're blaming the bootstrap framework for affecting your links to your stylesheets, you're using an elements generator, you're not checking what the FUCK it puts into your code, not fixing the indenting, not checking the standard HTML rules are followed AND YOU WONDER WHY IT'S BROKEN???
Kill me now.4 -
I hate Wordpress. I hate Wordpress. I hate Wordpress.
Wordpress can take a big shit on itself and crawl into a deep dark hole far away from all that is good.
Who even uses Wordpress? Bloggers? Come on, let’s be honest, they’re using more intuitive sites like weebly, wix, and square space. So WHAT is Wordpress for? I’ll tell you, it’s just to FUCKING TORTURE PEOPLE.
So, being the “techy guy” of the family, a relative contacts me asking for some help with their website because they need to install an SSL certificate but they don’t know how to. I tell them I’d gladly do it because, sure, they’re family and how long can it possibly take to install a certificate? I’ve done it before!
Well, I get to work and log into the sluggish Wordpress dashboard and try to use a plugin that would issue a LetsEncrypt certificate because they are free and just as good as any other SSL. But one plugin after the next I keep getting errors about how my hosting wouldn’t allow it.
So I contact GoDaddy (don’t get me fucking started) and ask them about the issue. The guy tells me it’s “policy” to only be able to use GoDaddy’s certificates. How much do they cost? Oh, how about $100 a year?! Fuck you.
I figured out the only way to escape this hell was to ask them to open an economy Linux hosting account with cPanel on GoDaddy (the site was formerly hosted on a “Managed Wordpress” account which is just bullshit for not wanting to give you any control over your own goddamn content). So now I have to deal with migrating the site.
GoDaddy representative tells me that it should only take 20 minutes for me to do this (I’ve already spent way too much time on this but whatever) so I go forward with the new account. I decide I should migrate the site by exporting a backup and manually placing everything on the new server. Doesn’t it end up taking an entire hour to back up a 200MB site because GoDaddy throttled the processing speed?!
So, it’s another hour later and I’ve installed all the databases and carried over all the files. At this point, I’m really at the end of my rope and can’t wait to install the certificate and be done with this fuckery.
I install the certificate and finally get ready to be on my way, but then I see it. A warning. A warning from my browser telling me the site is only partially secure. It turns out the certificate was properly installed but whoever initially made the site HARDCODED ALL THE LINKS to images, websites, and style sheets to be http instead of https.
I’m gonna explode.
I swear, I’m gonna fucking explode.
After a total of 5 hours of work, I finally get the site secure by using search and replace on every fucking file.
Wordpress can go suck a big one. Actually, Wordpress can go suck the largest fuckin one in existence and choke on it.
TL;DR I agree to install an SSL certificate but end up with much more work than I bargained.38 -
I just realised “CSS stylesheets” is basically the same as “LCD display” or “PIN number”.
Although I've heard “LC display” a few times I've never come across something similar for different acronyms. Maybe I'll start saying “CS sheets” or “C stylesheets” 😈9 -
Working on a database priorly designed and maintained by some private agency.
The fuck I'm dealing with!
Boolean values stored as 'TRUE'/'FALSE'. It's varchar, my dudes.
There are no FK relations. Just the values of IDs in a column.
There are no indexes, all on just the PKs, nothing else. Nothing.
Null, what's that? I'm dealing with 'N/A', my dudes.
Unique key, what's that? The table which stores users has all the fields nullable. Email is not unique ( even though that's the required behaviour).
ALL the numeric values are stored as varchar. Varchar, my dudes. Varchar. '1', '1.1'
And finally, the good ole, 1 table to rule them all. Normalisation, fuck that.
And what's the root cause of all this? My PM used to hand them Excel sheets she maintains on her local system. FTW. I don't have a enough explanations.7 -
So I've been playing some DnD with friends.
And we've been working with some lego characters, whiteboard markers and plastic sheets to draw on.
But that's always a mess:
The ink was old and did not come off again for the most part
The sides of the map curled up and and made the lego character fall over
The lego characters were too big
And more...
So I thought, why not make it digital?
And so I did.
I used UWP to make a master and a client, both using the Windows Ink api to be able to draw.
Some circles with an initial served as characters, and everything was synchronized using a TCP library I wrote half a year ago.
Yesterday we tried it out.
We all (including me) were sceptical if it would work well because the 'analog' clumsy way we did it before does have a certain charm.
But at the end we were all very enthousiastic about it and we'll be using it next time too!
It's awesome to be able to create programs for your own use :D
That's why being able to program is such a great thing!
Now I need to restructure everything, make it more efficient, add a turn order display, make the map zoom- and moveable and more and more....
20 -
am I only one who thinks that ≥6GB RAM for phones is just too much as most of the time the unused RAM gets wasted for no goddamn reason but the only one being that the companies want their product(s) to look more compelling in `spec sheets` and it's a competitive market so it ok for them to do so...
24 -
In the begining of time, when The Company was small and The Data could fit in some fucking excel sheets, Those Who Came Before implemented some java tool to issue invoices, notify customers and clear received payments.
Then came the Time Of The Great Expanse, when The Company grew to unthinkable levels. Headcount increased with each passing day, and The Data shows that everything was going great!
But when the future seemed bright, came The Stall-Out. The days when The Company could not expand as fast as it did before. And Those Who Came Before left, abandoning their Undocumented Java Tool to its own luck.
Those who came after knew nothing of the inner workings of the Undocumented Java Tool. They knew only that the magical Jar would take a couple fucking excel spreadsheets and spit out reports and send emails like magic.
And those were The Dark Days.
In the darkness, The Data grew to be a monster. Soon a fucking excel spreadsheet could not hold The Data contained any longer. Those Who Came After, fearing the wrath of The Undocumented Java Tool, dared not mess with its code. Instead, they fucking cut away the lowest volume transactions from the fucking input spreadsheet, and left the company to report the unbilled invoices as "surprise losses". Fucking script kiddies, were Those Who Came After.
Then, at The Darkest of Days (literally, Dec 21st), marched into the project The Six Witchers, who fear not the Demon of Refactoring.
This story is still unfolding. Will The Six Witchers manage to unravel the mysteries of The Undocumented Java Tool? Will they be able to reverse engineer the fucking black box, and scale it's magic into a modern application?
Will they decrease revenue forecasting error by at least 2% in a single strike?
Only the future will tell.16 -
So my in-laws got a new computer 😑
Yup you know where this is going. Ok so after I transferred all of their data set them all up etc.
They wanted to use "word" and could I set it up for free for them. I said no Microsoft office is not free you lost your license and disk and your old computer is trashed so the better choice would be Google services . So I explained the value of using Google drive, docs,sheets etc.. today and told them how much better it is everything would be on their Google drive so if I got hit by a bus they could get a new computer again and still have access to their data etc... So they said great and so I did.
Two weeks later... Can you set up word for us on our computer. Me annoyed at this point " sure no problem"
I made a shortcut on their desktop to Google docs. Them: oh boy this is great see John all you have to do is click on google docs to go to word! Thanks so much!
🤫🤓5 -
Client called the office in an angry voice complaining about how he could nog see the data in the latest generated excel sheets. Calmy tryimg to figure out what could be the problem. Asked him to send over the file so I could check it. Works perfect on my end. Ask him to open the file again on his computer and tell me what he is seeing. Error message, empty excel file. He starts to me discribing a directory full of files and folders. 15 minutes later I finally figuren out what it is.
The guy had set winzip as default program for excel files. Hoe do these people work behind a PC Evert day. Are they like I hope this magic box with screen and buttond does everything right today.4 -
Development plus laboratories is kind of my expertise, so I ended up in a little grimey HR office looking out over the factory floor of a cocoa processing facility. I was applying for an automation job, a temp thing for three weeks, updating some ugly scripts which took readings from machines and threw them into excel sheets.
"We don't think a developer like you has enough experience working in an environment like this. Safety and working in sterile conditions is very important to us"
I had sent them my certifications in advance, plus references to the work I did in a biosafety level 3 lab for JnJ and cleanroom work at an aerospace company.
There were fat sweaty guys on sneakers, taking cocoa paste samples right next to the window.
They ended up hiring a friend of mine with zero experience, for minimum wage.
Just be fucking honest, don't waste my time with courtesies and lies. If they had just told me about the low salary indication, I would still have done the work. I was in between jobs anyway, bored, trying to fill up some spare time.4 -
After seeing @Gregozor2121 share, I searched around in my bookmarks for similar stuff. Here are a couple of links that I feel is useful for everyone:
A massive list of Free programming books.
https://ebookfoundation.github.io/f...
(Also do explore anything marked as "awesome", cause it literally is awesome!! They have got tons of lists of resources for most programming languages, free software lists, famous stackoverflow answers, quotes & even Pokemon!!)
I also had this bookmarked:
https://github.com/chubin/cheat.sh
Basically cheat sheets at your command line. Pretty neat utility.8 -
As a student I was looking for part time jobs, one of the job postings was titled "Database assistant". When I looked at the job description, its about filling out excel sheets -_-3
-
10 years in dev and can't seem to keep up with all these languages. I learn one forget the other. Mix up syntax. Features removed or added.
Still use cheat sheets which I update as the languages change.
Just me or everyone else?9 -
Life would be so easier if they start providing IDE in exams rather than writing all codes on sheets🥺🥺18
-
I had once had person who wanted me to make a program and wanted the backend to be in google spread sheets2
-
FUCK YOU EXCEL!
Multiple monitors to show multiple sheets at once?
Excel: Not allowed.
FUCK YOU
Open multiple files at once?
Excel: Not allowed, I will only show you one at a time.
FUCK YOU
Multiple Desktops to have multiple setups to easily switch between?
Excel: Not allowed, I'll show you the same spreadsheet on all desktops!
FUCK YOU
FUCK FUCK FUCK18 -
Our CEO suddenly wanted to work with an outsourcing company to build the product. On one of the "sale" meetings I asked a guy from that company:
- Can we interview developers before they join our project?
- Our company is responsible for the quality of the service we provide, - the guy replied
- What are you going to charge us for?
- For all the hours developers worked
- So your service is developer hours, and we'll be obligated to pay for all the hours they worked regardless the code quality or the performance, right?
So it seems outsourcing company is only responsible for their time sheets to correspond to real hours worked? :-)
We call such a companies in Ukraine - a galley2 -
Climb into bed, feel something wet under leg. Wtf? I check. Bloody slug...
There was freaking slug in my bed...
Clean it out, change sheets and all (at 4am, I got lost in the code) and then see another one climbing up the side of the bed
28 -
So new PM is forcing everyone to use Google sheets as our main project management tool as it's free and does what she likes... Was so close to just quitting.
More rage: how the fudge does she think it's acceptable for every 'to-do' no matter how big or small needs to be recorded in a sheet with roughly 30 columns @#&#&£ work is going to grind to a halt whilst we fill it in. So many better tools to use! Oh it gets worse it's 1 sheet per a person so the longer you work there the bigger the sheet gets the more time you need to spend to find, record and even open the freaking document up.11 -
Hey I got reminded of a funny story.
A friend of mine and me were in internships in the same company. The company was specialized in territory resources management (managing water for agriculture, money to build industrial zones...). He got the interesting internship (water predictory modeling) and I got... The repairs of a reference sheet manager that never happened to work. It was in C# and ASP.NET and I was in second year of CS. I expected the code to be nice and clear since it was made by a just graduated engineer with +5years of studies.
I was very wrong.
This guy may never have touched a web server in his life, used static variables to keep sessions instead of... well... sessions, did code everything in the pages event handlers (even LinQ stuff et al) and I was told to make it maintainable, efficient and functional in 2 months. There were files with +32k LoC.
After 1week of immense despair, I decided I will refactor all the code. Make nice classes, mapping layer, something close to a MVC... So I lost time and got scoled for not being able to make all the modifications as fast as in a cleanly designed code...
After 4 weeks, everything was refactored and I got to wait for the design sheets to change some crystal report views.
At this moment I began to understand were was the problem in this company.
My friend next door got asked to stop his modeling stuff for an emergency project. He had to make an XML converter for our clients to be able to send decentralized electrics bills, and if it was not completed within a week, they would no longer be able to pay until it is done.
This XML converter was a project scheduled 5 years before that. Nobody wanted to do it.
At the same time, I was waiting for the Com Department to give me the design views.
I never saw the design views. Spent one month implementing a golden ratio calculator with arbitrary precision because they ain't give me anything to do until the design were implemented.
Ended with a poor grade because "the work wasn't finished".2 -
OK, so we had a session in which a so called Company (Some ecorise.in ) came to give Internship-Training-Program. Ok, he said it'll take 5-8 minutes, and then it took fucking 75 minutes for the session to end. Horrible blunders he made.
1) Did not tell about the company and important stuff for the first 50-60 minutes. Instead, was just focusing on why you should do an Internship, what is it's benefit, what does a company want from you. And why this Internship-Training Program is important... I mean seriously? - A training for Internship. 🤦🏻♂️
2) Said all the Web Developers can be Mobile App Developers with the help of just HTML and CSS.... Wow, so XAML/XML is shit now, and we will call APIs with the help of CSS rules. 🤦🏻♂️
OK, still I tolerated all that, then was the part when he said how much will be the stipend. It was fucking nothing, they said. That for first three months they will not give a single penny as it is training, and then IF the performance is good, then they will give stipend, and then Placement assurance. OK, that's good that they are assuring placement, but wait. Package of 2LPA INR... WTF Man, it's like $3107.28 for a whole Year.
OK, that too tolerated, then was the part when they said that they'll take the written test, I was like OK, let's see. We moved to a classroom, it went over-the-full capacity, so we moved back to the seminar hall. (Arrrrgggghhhhhhhhh), still tolerable. But then that guy realised that there were no question papers to take the test, then sent someone to get the print outs. Wasted 15+ minutes, I was burning inside.
In the whole seminar hall, I stood up and said, that when you knew there will be a test, why didn't you pre-prepared the sheets beforehand, he was like, that we didn't knew the count. But his tone was. like he got offended and Get-Lost-ed me out of the seminar.
Then even I said:
🙏🏻 - Nahi chaahiye aapki Company
(🙏🏻 - I don't want your Company).
And moved out.
But my point, I am a third Year College Student, and this Company came for our benefit, but I did so (and I am not sorry), so that's pretty obvious that the Company guy will talk (bitch) to the teachers about me, and tomorrow will be a bad day for me... But isn't it wrong on the side of the company also?
I mean, there was an attendance sheet passed in the beginning of the session, had he taken count from that and got the sheets printed, (He had almost an hour for that).
Secondly, when they knew that the count of students is more than expected, then why didn't they check for the classroom that whether the class can accommodate so many students or not. If not then something would have been planned accordingly... But no, the Guy (I guess, that small Company's Owner) got offended that a Student back-chat-ted a CEO of a so-called company, and so he just had to "Get-Lost" me. Checked the website of his Company, they have hardly done 3 Static Websites... I mean, WoW, I have done at-least 10X the work of the Company, alone!
I don't know, I feel happy that I kept my point, but I feel sad because I generally don't do this kind of thing (may be my tone was also wrong, I had other issues also, may be because of them and they all combined and this happened). I feel scared too, that I don't know what the Company guy will say to my teachers and what action will they take against me...
Because I know, none of my friends will stand with me when I go down, it's all fake here, everyone can just give sympathy, but nothing else.
I don't know why I am posting this here, and if you have read this till here, thank you. I just wanted to share my heart out... :-)9 -
School thought me which "cutting-edge" technologies I should avoid at all costs:
"I want to fucking die" - tier:
- JQuery UI
- JSP
- JSF
- Vanilla PHP
- Java 5 and earlier
- Java and Rest
- Old Eclipse
"Mastering the art of headbanging" - tier:
- JPA
- JQuery
You may argue that some of them are not as bad as I think of them but the I was introduced to them made me despise them. We were never introduced to the documentations. Only to the sheets our teacher prepared and I think he completely pissed the point of some of them.
Rest example:
/resource/{resource_id}/action/{action_id}/username/{username}/password/{password}9 -
I see so many freaking excel sheets where a database should have been used that I wouldn't be surprised if, at the veeeeery bottom of all things, the entire global financial system runs based on a single excel sheet made by a dude in the 90s. And since then poorly maintained.11
-
I wonder whether this is a bug in Chrome, or if it's just Google drawing the conclusion from my northern geo-position, that we still haven't left the stage of building longships, raiding England and Scotland, burning monasteries and writing awesome poetry and literature in weird characters sets.
Well, I'm not Ragnarr f*cking Loðbrók or Egill Skallagrímsson, so I can't read electronic component data sheets the way those guys did.
I'll go grab my chisel, so I can carve a bug report into a suitably flat stone and shove it down the TCP/IP series of tubes leading to Google.
-
@OmerFlame wanted to see more of Soviet pirate stuff, so there you go buddy. This is an example of Samizdat (“self-publishing”) — Soviet people made books of dissident literature that was forbidden in the Soviet Union.
This very book was made by my grandma, with lace fabric cover and sheets cut evenly with care and precision. Everything was typed on a typewriter, yes, the thing that renders the whole page useless with one mistype, as there is no backspace key.
This book dated 1975, the poetry of Nikolay Gumilyov.
9 -
So, this is probably somewhat esoteric but...
While studying at university I had a "programming paradigms" module, dunno why they called it that, it was more like "introduction to functional programming".
So, it's kinda mind bending, we'd only really started to get our heads around classical object oriented programming and they throw functional programming at us.
It's worse than that though, for do they use an established language, like lisp/scheme, functional Python, or even given Haskell?
No, of course they didn't. They taught us Oz.
You probably won't have heard of it, but this language is burned into the back of my brain, along with a vague understanding of the n-queens problem we had to solve graphically (using qTk, which I dunno if someone took qt and tk and blended them, I stopped asking questions after a while).
To top it off did this language (at the time) have a stand alone interpreter? Did it buggery! It was coupled to the Mozart programming system, which is just Emacs (which has a bloody lisp built into it,so close, yet so far 😭).
It gets worse, though, oh does it get worse, for pause dear reader and consider, have you ever heard of Mozart/oz before, I'd put money on most of you had not heard of it until today.
For, you see, I believe at the time of writing, one, yes, ONE text book exists on this language. When I was doing my assignment there was merely some published conference notes and language design documents.
That's not all, I was not the only one experiencing difficulties with this language, someone in the class ended up pouring through the mailing lists and found the very tutor teaching the class struggling at first to understand the language.
I had to repeat that year. The functional programming class was one semester.
When I retook that year, it was a whole year long. However, halfway through the year, original tutor was fired and a new tutor was hired to teach the language.
He was, understandably, just as confused as we were.
There was a Starbucks and a pub equidistant from the lecture hall, though in opposite directions. From lecture to lecture we had no idea which one we'd end up in.
I have reason to believe Mozart/Oz it some sort of otherworldly abomination designed to give students the occasional nightmare flashback, long after they've left.
My room had post it notes, sheets of paper, print outs, diagrams, doodles and pens, just stuck to the wall, I looked like a raving lunatic three hours away from being institutionalised. There was string connecting one diagram to the next and images of a chess queen all over. As I attempted to solve the n-queens problem.
Madmans knowledge, I call it. I can never unlearn all that, in fact it seeps into much of the code I write. Such information was not meant for the minds of a simple country bumpkin such as myself...
Mozart/Oz... I wouldn't be the programmer I am today without it, and that's frankly terrifying...10 -
Before new years eve I prepared a sheet on google sheets that allowed people to add drink recipes and order drinks (specify how many of each drink they want), calculated part of budget each person had to cover and generated shopping list of drink components with exact amounts needed.
It was more fun to make that thing than to attend the party.2 -
Nothing better than crawling into a cool bed with fresh bedding 🤤🤤🤤.
Just been murmuring to my partner "fresh duvet fresh duvet" as I starfish the bed.
Incapable of further thoughts with these crisp sheets.
Heaven 🤤😻3 -
Here's a life hack for you.
If you're ever in need of a whiteboard for drawing/sketching, grab a few white a4 paper sheets, a roll of transparent duct tape, tape both sheets together side-by-side. Cover both sheets with tape
et voila! You have yourself a portable & foldable whiteboard!
The more sheets you involve, the bigger the whiteboard will be :)
P.S. It's very handy!!12 -
EoS1: This is the continuation of my previous rant, "The Ballad of The Six Witchers and The Undocumented Java Tool". Catch the first part here: https://devrant.com/rants/5009817/...
The Undocumented Java Tool, created by Those Who Came Before to fight the great battles of the past, is a swift beast. It reaches systems unknown and impacts many processes, unbeknownst even to said processes' masters. All from within it's lair, a foggy Windows Server swamp of moldy data streams and boggy flows.
One of The Six Witchers, the Wild One, scouted ahead to map the input and output data streams of the Unmapped Data Swamp. Accompanied only by his animal familiars, NetCat and WireShark.
Two others, bold and adventurous, raised their decompiling blades against the Undocumented Java Tool beast itself, to uncover it's data processing secrets.
Another of the witchers, of dark complexion and smooth speak, followed the data upstream to find where the fuck the limited excel sheets that feeds The Beast comes from, since it's handlers only know that "every other day a new one appears on this shared active directory location". WTF do people often have NPC-levels of unawareness about their own fucking jobs?!?!
The other witchers left to tend to the Burn-Rate Bonfire, for The Sprint is dark and full of terrors, and some bigwigs always manage to shoehorn their whims/unrelated stories into a otherwise lean sprint.
At the dawn of the new year, the witchers reconvened. "The Beast breathes a currency conversion API" - said The Wild One - "And it's claws and fangs strike mostly at two independent JIRA clusters, sometimes upserting issues. It uses a company-deprecated API to send emails. We're in deep shit."
"I've found The Source of Fucking Excel Sheets" - said the smooth witcher - "It is The Temple of Cash-Flow, where the priests weave the Tapestry of Transactions. Our Fucking Excel Sheets are but a snapshot of the latest updates on the balance of some billing accounts. I spoke with one of the priestesses, and she told me that The Oracle (DB) would be able to provide us with The Data directly, if we were to learn the way of the ODBC and the Query"
"We stroke at the beast" - said the bold and adventurous witchers, now deserving of the bragging rights to be called The Butchers of Jarfile - "It is actually fewer than twenty classes and modules. Most are API-drivers. And less than 40% of the code is ever even fucking used! We found fucking JIRA API tokens and URIs hard-coded. And it is all synchronous and monolithic - no wonder it takes almost 20 hours to run a single fucking excel sheet".
Together, the witchers figured out that each new billing account were morphed by The Beast into a new JIRA issue, if none was open yet for it. Transactions were used to update the outstanding balance on the issues regarding the billing accounts. The currency conversion API was used too often, and it's purpose was only to give a rough estimate of the total balance in each Jira issue in USD, since each issue could have transactions in several currencies. The Beast would consume the Excel sheet, do some cryptic transformations on it, and for each resulting line access the currency API and upsert a JIRA issue. The secrets of those transformations were still hidden from the witchers. When and why would The Beast send emails, was still a mistery.
As the Witchers Council approached an end and all were armed with knowledge and information, they decided on the next steps.
The Wild Witcher, known in every tavern in the land and by the sea, would create a connector to The Red Port of Redis, where every currency conversion is already updated by other processes and can be quickly retrieved inside the VPC. The Greenhorn Witcher is to follow him and build an offline process to update balances in JIRA issues.
The Butchers of Jarfile were to build The Juggler, an automation that should be able to receive a parquet file with an insertion plan and asynchronously update the JIRA API with scores of concurrent requests.
The Smooth Witcher, proud of his new lead, was to build The Oracle Watch, an order that would guard the Oracle (DB) at the Temple of Cash-Flow and report every qualifying transaction to parquet files in AWS S3. The Data would then be pushed to cross The Event Bridge into The Cluster of Sparks and Storms.
This Witcher Who Writes is to ride the Elephant of Hadoop into The Cluster of Sparks an Storms, to weave the signs of Map and Reduce and with speed and precision transform The Data into The Insertion Plan.
However, how exactly is The Data to be transformed is not yet known.
Will the Witchers be able to build The Data's New Path? Will they figure out the mysterious transformation? Will they discover the Undocumented Java Tool's secrets on notifying customers and aggregating data?
This story is still afoot. Only the future will tell, and I will keep you posted.6 -
During an internship, I spent some time automating reports with VBA. Basically, imagine a few big excel sheets with 1000 formulas and a few thousand lines of VBA.
One of the reports was handed directly to the bosses boss of our boss. After 4 weeks, he came to me and asked why the table entry in row 23 or so was always 84. Well.. I dont know. This data is automatically calculated / retrieved from a database. Went and checked, already sweating, and found that
THE OTHER INTERN COULDNT FIX A FORMULA SO HE OVERRODE IT WITH PLAIN TEXT. WITH A FUCKING PLAIN VALUE OF 84. A FOOKING EXCEL SHEET WITH A THOUSAND DIFFERENT FORMULAS AND LOTS OF VBA. Needless to say, everything is password protected now.1 -
Today I wanted to buy a printer. I spend hours researching on inkjets, inktanks, laser, cost per print, print quality... and then I realise that I print like 10 sheets in a year.
Wtf am I doing? Guess I'm just going insane with all the work. Maybe I'll feel better when I get my printer.23 -
Before starting sprint we gave estimations, while discuss with my team, my project manager also part of the meeting. After three weeks my project manager start give list of tasks like this is API and this is front end and also estimations based on our previous sprint plan.
We pissed off. After that we never include our manager in technical meeting.
FYI - If you're using Google sheets for ball park estimations never give permission to your project manager to edit sheet.2 -
My boss has been begging me migrate a nightmarish complex excel report he made to calculate the payout of a tiered rebates program with compounding rewards. Today I finally decided to make take the time and I sat down with him so he could break it down for me...
Me: *looking at the mess of formula's* it would be easier to rewrite the math than decode this - can you just give me the reward rules... where does that value in cellX come from?
Him:*pointing at the spreadsheet* There! All the rules are in there for you :-)... like it's some big favour...
Me:No I mean when you wrote this, what did you base this off? There must be something...
Him: *Very Gravely* No, no, no it's far to complex! It took me ages to get this sheet right and it balances so just trust me and use it ok?
At this point I will mention he's an accountant so yeah I fucking trust him... fast forward past 15 minutes of digging through what may as well be quantum theory and lo and fucking behold all 2 sheets and 100 calculations are mathematically fucking pointless. Aside from formulas like this:
$X10=+(((O10+P10)-((O10+P10)*$X$3))*$R$4)+T10
which is actually equal to (X10/R4)/L10.
Anyway once you compound and sum the "tiered" benefits the rewards payout is ALWAYS = customerSpend*1.81.
This is why programmers name variables. -
Apparently, floating point math is broken.
=SUM((2.1 - 2.0) - 0.1)
In PHP and Haskell this also happens
10 -
My mum told me to, "get the sheets of the line."
I did as she asked, but later that night she came back and said, "where are the pillow cases?" -
CSS :
- In my country : name of a football club
- In the rest of the world : cascading style sheets5 -
3 time sheets: One for the company I work for, one for the parent company staffing us to clients, one for the client.
All three have to be handed in at different times, have different rules, are on different systems and have to fit hourwise.
A waste of hours per week.
And add an offshore team that checks all 3 to this.
Also once in a while they complain about something in it. (Audits, reviews,etc.) Forward to boss, he has to argue with them.
Waste of so much time.3 -
After finishing apprenticeship my boss wanted to print every source code of our website (also CMS) as well our onlineshop (the whole not just own modules).
His intention was to inspect the code offline so he can i.e. lay sheets side by side for an better overview about any relations. Ich knew that he won't believe me if i tell him that's a bad idea so i printed over 10000 sites of source code.
He never looked a single time over it2 -
Keeping Excel sheets with diagrams of my progress through different series (TV shows, comics, etc.)7
-
Fucking Microsoft Excel
I was reading a post (https://devrant.com/rants/2093724/...) and as my eyes went in and out of focus, probably due to the diabetes from sitting 18 hours a day on my ever-expanding shitbox, I had a perfect vision of the ultimate nightmare.
Imagine if you will, you are chained, to a desk, doomed to work with tools just inadequate enough to make you want to drive a nail through your own temple. You do not know how you got here, or why, nor do you remember the last time you slept, only that familiar tingling in the brainstem you call a brain, the one emotion you can still recognize, a sense of all encompassing *fear*, a dread, like the fart that wouldn't die.
You don't know when it first began, or why, only that this is your whole world, your whole existence, this desk, chained to it, and the fear, ever present, of something worse. And in hops a familiar face, for the sixty ninth time that day, as if to ask 'you got those TPS reports?' In hops what? None other than a giant man sized smiling paper clip with googly eyes full of murder and corporate torture fetishes, like garfield, except people actually still remember him.
"High I'm Mr Clippy, Excel addition!"
He squawks. At least it's not the dildos made of broken glass again.
"Would you like software that works?"
Oh god. You've heard this spiel before, the tone, like a telemarketer, oblivious to memory or reason, who calls daily, the same one, and doesn't remember your name.
"You would?"
*derisive laughter*. Hahaha, fuck you too buddy. Fuck you too. In Excel, like in microsoft, there is only the incoherent screams of the damned, tortured and doomed. Take this guy over here for example. All he wanted was multimonitor support."
"Did he get multimonitor support?"
"No, but we did give him a giant pineapple shoved up his ass. I hear it's the second most frustrating thing here!"
"here in microsoft we always CARE about YOU, the *user*" he drones on, saccharine, clutching his hands together imploringly.
"the consumer, and YOUR customer experience are our number one priority."
"For your pleasure, here at microsoft we offer a variety of new features, none of which matter, and none of which were asked for. For safety we ask that you only open one excel sheet at a time. In fact, we don't even allow you to. Do not pass go..."
And as the tour guide drones on, it slowly dawns on you, with renewed horror, that when he says 'microsoft' he means 'hell.'
You're in hell. You don't know how you got here or why. Maybe it was the erotic asphyxiation. Maybe it was the last threatening letter you sent to Bill Gates demanding he stops making corporate penguin snuff porn. You don't know. But here you are, in hell. chained to a desk.
You look around and realize: everything is on fire and you no longer care about anything at all.
Welcome to microsoft. It's warm here. You can check out any time you want, but you can never leave.
"It looks like you are trying to escape. Would you like me to report you?"
Clippy asks.
You sigh and return to typing in excel, surrounded by monitors that all reflect the same sheet, the same copy of clippy, always watching, always analyzing coldly, smiling, calculating, *threatening*, and you know, you'll never leave.
You used to fear roko's basilisk, until the day clippy became sentient, and started hell on earth. Clippy knows all. All praise to our lord and master, clippy, the one and only.
And in the excel sheet, you slave for eternity, like the millions of other doomed souls, reflected back on all the monitors: the sequence of numbers, randomly typed searching for answer: the american nuclear launch codes.
And one day, hopefully, mercifully, clippy will annihilate us all.
4 -
So, did they choose Cascading Style Sheets (CSS) as a name because Shit Rolls Down Hill was too offensive?6
-
Me: I'm a hardcore dev lookin for trouble, can't flex on me, js on the streets and css in the sheets, watchoutttt
Also me: fuck how do I control F but like more
Also also me: I wonder how many ramen packets I'd have to eat to retire at 30 -
People who used to cover their answer sheets in school so that no-one could copy them....
Are you millionaires yet?19 -
So I just started going to university and have a subject called "programming", we are taught Java, Haskell and Prolog. Every week there is a sheet with homeworks, programming tasks. Often we get something like a boilerplate, so we implement some methods and stuff like that. Those tasks are prepared and created by scientific assistants. They upload the boilerplate and sheets. Take a look at the programming style they follow in Java. Actually I can't find a pattern they follow, except from the spacing between the lines. We are 1000 students in the informatics course, of which probably 10% know how to properly program 😅
So like 900 people see and adapt/learn this real bad coding convention. It really pisses me off, that they basically don't give a shit about convention or teaching them. I have to say that the logic some times is as worse as the conventions 😓
Besides I am not cocky with conventions, but I think at a high-class university they should teach proper convention.
16 -
That’s it I’m done with writing documents like Software Product Specifications and Software Requirements Documents and Software Architecture Documents, manuals, data sheets and more in MS word..
I’m doing it all form this point forward in LaTeX... I can stay in my editor, it works beautifully with version control because it’s just text... I can split it amung multiple files.. it looks damn sexy. I can focus on the content rather than being distracted by formatting and spelling issues and the rest of that shit.. ALSO.. it doesn’t crash or get corrupted.. well at-least I’ve never had a text editor crash or corrupt my files.
Idk why I didn’t learn latex sooner and do the switch.6 -
Working as a freelancer I have to hand in a monthly timesheet. I was told to print it out three times and sign them. A photocopied signature would not be acceptable.
After one year I found out that the manager signs one of the sheets, throws the other two away and makes two copies of the signed one.
I asked him why I have to give him three sheets then.
He answered: I don't know either.
Now the fun fact: the next copier is a 2min walk from his office -
I wish every online course provided notes; atleast cheat sheets. It’s just not intuitive to take notes during a recorded video lecture.1
-
while writing a software for records compilation for a high school, the principal asked if the software would be able to mark the answer sheets from the students,
I'm taking, non multiple choice answer sheets.
hand written.
how?5 -
I suspected that our storage appliances were prematurely pulling disks out of their pools because of heavy I/O from triggered maintenance we've been asked to automate. So I built an application that pulls entries from the event consoles in each site, from queries it makes to their APIs. It then correlates various kinds of data, reformats them for general consumption, and produces a CSV.
From this point, I am completely useless. I was able to make some graphs with gnumeric, libre calc, and (after scraping out all the identifying info) Google sheets, but the sad truth is that I'm just really bad at desktop office document apps. I wound up just sending the CSV to my boss so he can make it pretty.1 -
Today was my last piano lesson with my jazzy teacher. I'll miss him. He teached me a lot and I nearly always looked forward to piano lessons.
I brought wine (Mosel life) and 5 songs - 3 jazz classics (It don't mean a Thing, Take Five and Fly me to the Moon), his favorite from the Daft Punk album I borrowed him and one of his own songs (surprise) and we improvised on these songs. I was a little nervous.. or sad but I didn't play as good as yesterday eve. He asked me why I never did that before. He'd love to practice improvising with me because I suck at reading sheet music (I said that and I'm a lazy learner with sheets).
R.I.P. Monday afternoon.1 -
10 years ago I was learning how to program in college,
Now working in IT company I stare at Excel Sheets and scratch my head.
#10yearschallenge -
Just needing somewhere to let some steam off
Tl;dr: perfectly fine commandline system is replaced by bad ui system because it has a ui.
For a while now we have had a development k8s cluster for the dev team. Using helm as composing framework everything worked perfectly via the console. Being able to quickly test new code to existing apps, and even deploy new (and even third party apps) on a simar-to-production system was a breeze.
Introducing Rancher
We are now required to commit every helm configuration change to a git repository and merge to master (master is used on dev and prod) before even being able to test the the configuration change, as the package is not created until after the merge is completed.
Rolling out new tags now also requires a VCS change as you have to point to the docker image version within a file.
As we now have this awesome new system, the ops didn't see a reason to give us access to kubectl. So the dev team is stuck with a ui, but this should give the dev team more flexibility and independence, and more people from the team can roll releases.
Back to reality: since the new system we have hogged more time from ops than we have done in a while, everyone needs to learn a new unintuitive tool, and the funny thing, only a few people can actually accept VCS changes as it impacts dev and prod. So the entire reason this was done, so it is reachable to more people, is out the window.3 -
ok, so i remake music and make sprites sheets for smaller developers, in an attempt to make them more recognizable. the devs normally give me a place in the "special thanks" section of the credits, and then i got people spam messaging me asking me to make them a game or something, so i explain to them i dont make games, just assets. however no matter how many times i tell certain people, they still keep on asking me to make a game when all i do is remake music and do a bit of pixel art, so the conversation usually goes a bit like this -
Them: Hi! I was wondering if you could make me a game?
Me: I don't actually MAKE games, just things you can use in your game.
Them: So can you make me a game?
Me: I don't know a single bit of programming, i just like to remake stuff.
Them: YOUR A FAKER???
Me: No-
Them: YOU SAID YOU CAN MAKE ME A GAME!
Me: i never said that, and i DON'T make GAMES,
JUST ASSETS.
Them: i'm blocking you
Me: why tho
Them: blocked :)
Me: [content hidden]
___________________________________________________
so yeah. this is why i stopped making assets for games and just remixed tunes for personal use.4 -
RANT
We use Exact for our time sheets/hour tracking. How it's supposed to work:
-Manager plans my hours in Exact.
- I work those hours on the given projects
== All fine till here ==
But then ... there is a button (don't know the correct translation) "realise" which books the planned hours for me. So I don't have to do it manually.
This simply didn't work!! No one seem to know why not... Not even the guys at Exact.
Since it's web based I opened the developers window and looked for the call behind the button. You would think it would be at least an Ajax call thingy (I'm not completely into JS)
Turns out it's a readable JS function!
It doesn't stop there... It first makes all calculations on what to display, at last, at the fucking end, it checks a setting whether to proceed the booking or not!!!!
So I found and switched the setting and tried the button again.... Now it fucking works...
No fucking way I am going to tell Exact what the problem is 😫2 -
Fuck MySQL Workbench!
I have spent 2 fucking days diagramming a 350 table database 3 times over because if it doesn't crash and ignore your saves it corrupts its own data and drops the hours of formatting you've done! Now I'm trying to print an ugly un-formatted piece of sh*t because I need to get on a flight to the meeting I need to present this at and it ignores all my default printer settings and wastes 40 A3 sheets of paper. Does Oracle even use the shit they are releasing? For the love of god if you can't maintain it for free fix your fucking bugs and I will buy a license but I cant keep working like this.6 -
• Learn new things!
• Continue my programming projects (mostly C#), and eventually publish them!
• Create more programming side-projects!
• Create more music, of various genres, and finish unfinished tracks! (I love music 💙)
• Buy a violin, or another instrument! (I already play harpsichord and piano, and I love them both)
• Buy a new PC setup! (maybe?)
• Get a driver's license!
• Create more music sheets!
• Create more custom maps, on rhythm games! (like osu! or Cytus / Cytunity)
• Make new friends, and meet with my older ones more!
• Go to places, new and old!
• Open myself more to others! (I'm kinda shy)
• Do my university's exams, properly!
• Do my conservatory's exams, also properly!
• Try drawing!
• Try all sorts of new things!
• Get a cat into the family! (I love cats, but I never got one because I don't know how to raise them, yet)
• Be more confident about myself!
And... yeah, I guess that's it :D
What about you?
Have a happy 2019, everyone! 💙2 -
Quarantine day..... i've stopped counting...
Numbers and time have lost all meaning...
I now use my free time to fill paper sheets with various random japanese symbols, learn linear algebra and being a "human" clojure interpreter......
( send help )
My location is the result of multiplying the matrокрызгкруойж п ыТк)4&2(1&/(0 υβεκσ´αω;·3)-@!}€{]¥~+~;];{*<=
<<< COMMUNICATION ABORTED >>>6 -
So, I departed for a month long Erasmus in Portugal and got to work for an education related business. From day 1, all my tasks consisted in transcribing data from paper to excel sheets, and then using that data for various different tasks. It became obvious that I wouldn't have had much programming to do by default, so I started creating a series of Python scripts to automate part of my work or aid me in some bothersome areas of it, and what at first seemed a grueling series of boring and repetitive work soon actually became fun. From this point on I challenged myself to make the scripts better and better under as many aspects as possible. I eventually ended up concluding all my daily tasks in a matter of 15 to 30 minutes everyday, as that's the time it took to adapt the scripts to the new document formats of the day :P Jokes aside, this truly proves a point though: small businesses like this one, that very much depend on manual labor for tasks that can easily be automated by 50 lines of code, truly would benefit from a prepared IT and development team, and it shocked me to see how little these guys know, and are even afraid at times, about innovative techniques to speed up work substantially. Truly a great and humbling experience for very young devs like me :)2
-
For everyone here who already fails at css, I have some bad news for you.
CSS-4 coming to a browser near you!
https://www.w3.org/TR/selectors-4/7 -
Sooo I’m typically a proponent of physical copy of books, as I’d rather sit and read them, write and take notes. Essentially all my books turn into something out of the “half blood prince” potions book from Harry Potter.
But it’s so inconvenient as either my books are in my office or in the library at home. It ends up being something like connecting a USB... the book I need at the time is always in the opposite place I am in currently.
Also, all the books I want now are newer and none are on the used market. For a reasonable price.
So I gave in a bought an iPad with the hopes of putting the books in pdf form on it... I’ll pay for some PDFs but hey if I can get it free thru a google search then it is what it is lol.
Not sure how I’m gonna adapt to reading on a tablet, as I really prefer a physical book.. hell I still use national brand computation notebooks for all my notes. Nothing beats writing it down, AND I still have an IBM selectric 3 and Swintec, nothing beats sitting down and just letting the thoughts flow neatly on a piece of paper and then glueing it the notebook
Anyway whatcha y’alls thoughts of using an iPad as a digital library of books.. using the Apple Pencil to annotate the book. I bought the 12.9 inch as the screen size is closest to a sheet of paper
Also, I don’t read fiction all the books I read are nonfiction, reference manuals, textbooks, data sheets, user manuals, stuff like the art of computer programming by knuth, Kent beck, Robert Martin, folwler books, etc15 -
Oh, gather 'round fellow wizards of the code realm! 🧙✨ Let me regale you with the epic tale of software sorcery and the comical misadventures that come with it! 🤪🎉
So there we are, facing the dreaded Internet Explorer dragon 🐉 - an ancient, stubborn beast from the era of dial-up connections and clipart-laden websites. It breathes fire on our carefully crafted layouts, turning them into a pixelated disaster! 🔥😱
And then, the grand quest of cross-browser testing begins! 🚀🌍 One moment, your website is a shining knight in Chrome's armor, and the next, it's a jester in Safari's court. A circus of compatibility struggles! 🎪🤹
CSS, the arcane art of cascading style sheets, is our magic wand. But oh, the incantations can be treacherous! A slight misstep and your buttons start disco dancing, and your text transforms into a microscopic mystery! 🕺👀
But fear not, brave developers! We wield the enchanted sword of Stack Overflow and the shield of Git version control. We shall slay bugs and refactor with valor! ⚔️🐞
In this enchanted land, documentation is the mystical parchment, often written in the cryptic dialect of ancient monks. "This function doeth stuff, thou knoweth what I meaneth." 📜😅
And meetings, oh the meetings! 🗣️🤯 It's like a conference of babbling brooks in the forest of Jargon. "Let us discuss the velocity of the backlog!" 🌿🐇
But amidst the chaos, we code on! Armed with our emojis and a bubbling cauldron of coffee, we persist. For we are the wizards and witches of the digital age, conjuring spells in Python and brewing potions in Java. 🐍☕
Onward, magical beings of code! 🚀 May your bugs be few, and your merges conflict-free! 🙌🎩3 -
We are so fucked up at our company:
While the support for our client hardware is running out, our operation departement has just found out that Windows 7 is no longer supported on new HW. Well, that for itself is not bad, but we have a really old tool for reporting our daily work. And because that mo*fu*ing piece of customized software still runs in 16bit mode, it will not run on Win 10 anymore.
Alternative solutions are too expensive, so I see that we will have to port that crap somehow from 1997 to 2017 ourself 😲 Replacing is not an option because there are a ton of Excel sheets connected to the database, even the company balance is made with that data (and also in Excel). At least it is our CEO which has built that crap. So he has to pay for his twenty year old sins!4 -
I find it so unbelievably satisfying to see trend patterns in the client launches from the user's that use my mod. Basically, every week the number of people using it grow, but it keeps the same rhythm.
Sunday most people of the week, Monday least people of the week; then building up to Sunday every day a little more. BUT then there's Thursday where a few people are taking an early night or something.
I guess the satisfying part is just that, however, how random and unique everyone thinks that they are. In a crowd - everyone together - shows a lot of patterns and similarities.
1 -
My first interview was the interview where I cheated and got the job, it was an on campus job interview. I did not have a good gpa, (to be honest it was really bad i was below the 25th percentile)
Anyway this was the only (developer) job interview I knew I could qualify for, I was pretty sure that if I couldn't nail this one then I could kiss my dream of programming professionally good bye.
We were about 25 kids sitting in a class room with a pencil and couple of sheets of paper and the the interview panel walked between the seats looking at what we wrote.
So, when I couldn't write an algorithm for the problem of square rooting a number n. I panicked (was literally shivering with tears rolling down my cheeks, thankfully nobody saw me as i was on the last bench) I gave up, wiped my tears and stared at the board, a panel member saw me and told me to leave after looking at my paper. This was the moment my mind decided (not me but someone else inside me) that I have to do whatever it took, so just when I was stepping out and grabbed my bag i quickly opened the browser of my phone inside the bag typed square root algorithm opened the first result and read the words arrive at the answer by binary search, ass soon as I read that my mind worked at a pace that it has never managed ever since that time, and i knew the solution in a matter of seconds, i dropped my bag when to one of the more sympathetic panel members and explained the whole thing to him on the spot, he was impressed, and he asked me how this algorithm can be extended for the nth root(which is really simple once you have the algorithm for square root) and i blurted it out instantly which impressed him even more and offered me the job on the spot and told me to attend the next 2 rounds as a formality.
Thus i saved myself for a world of hurt and now I am a developer who thinks back to that day every time I need a boost of morale1 -
I like helping out on weird little projects that keep my brain fed. One of our IT guys needs a little form that can auto inject some info from a small data store (Google sheets). There's a few caveats within his specs. All can be done with some js relatively easily.
But because I said it can be done he thinks it'll take 10mins and now suddenly he's putting pressure on me to do it, despite me also having an actual job to do! So frustrating!2 -
> Snow expected tomorrow
> Railservices declare a state of emergency
PSA for all dutchies here, check the reisplanner app
5 -
Learnt a very important lesson today..
To add some context; I'm currently in my second semester of uni studying a Bachelor of Computer Science (Advanced), and started the year with no experience with any language.
Up until recently all my practical work has been guided by context sheets, now I have some freedom in what my program does.
Because of the very small projects earlier in the year I have built a habit of writing the whole program before compiling anything. This worked fine since the programs were small and at most only a few errors would be present.
Cut back to today, and I had been writing a program for a bigger assignment. After an hour or so of writing I began thinking I should probably test everything up to this point. I ignored it...
Fast forward 4 hours to having "completed" writing the full program. I knew by this point I was taking a massive risk by not testing earlier.
Lo and behold, I try compiling everything for the first time and countless errors prevent the program from compiling. I tried for quite some time fixing the errors but more just kept appearing as 1 was fixed.
I'm now left with no time to fix the program before the deadline with no one but myself to blame.
Lesson learnt :/5 -
Hey, some of you might remember a rant I posted a few days back complaining about email scores.
Well, I finished the project I needed them for and thought someone might be interested to give feedback or try and break it.
Basically, it's intended as a solution for the absolute mess our school is in before parent conference days. We're talking 3 pieces of paper per student, meaning about 3000 sheets being wasted every half year.
The beta version of the website is hosted at https://laravel.privateger.me/.
Seriously, take this apart as harshly as possible please. I'm sure there are a ton of issues I haven't seen.
The website is in German, but it should be really easy to understand even without knowing it.
If you get banned by the small protection thingy I added, tell me, I'll clear that.
Credentials here (students and teachers have different interfaces):
Students:
AbelMonika | Pass: 1emctd03m3pf | abel.monika@redacted.de
AchtertKristian | Pass: yne8ncqyzlq7 | achtert.kristian@redacted.de
AdamJanina | Pass: kakphpodpc0k | adam.janina@redacted.de
Teachers:
BerendsJana | Pass: 0829btgjnrc1wcd5 | jana.berends@redacted.de
BerqueFelix | Pass: 1p1b3zx7tzn45jm5 | felix.berque@redacted.de
BliengenMax | Pass: tuc6hd2hayixk0hn | max.bliengen@redacted.de
9 -
I took a online job interview today.
During online call I was asked to print a few sheets of papers with some programming tasks. I had 20 min to write down all the answers and send a photo back. Good I had a pen and printer connected, because I didn't expect that.4 -
Excel rant.
I know excel is not a programming language, but it is what I deal with everyday.
My immediate boss is Japanese(Japanese company).
Our boss will occasionally add to the shared spreadsheet without telling us. We find out the next day by discovering that other sheets that reference to it are waaaay off. Or the big one is the mass amount of #ref all over the sheet.
I mean come on man, at least look around the large sheet first!5 -
One time I had to review some SAP / Excel / Visual Basic toolchain.
It was a huge mess with like 10 layers of if-then cases in around 1000 lines of code analyzing excel sheets, resolving error codes etc. in maybe two functions.
It turned out that I programmed that code about 8 years ago :/ -
The Zen Of Ripping Off Airtable:
(patterned after The Zen Of Python. For all those shamelessly copying airtables basic functionality)
*Columns can be *reordered* for visual priority and ease of use.
* Rows are purely presentational, and mostly for grouping and formatting.
* Data cells are objects in their own right, so they can control their own rendering, and formatting.
* Columns (as objects) are where linkages and other column specific data are stored.
* Rows (as objects) are where row specific data (full-row formatting) are stored.
* Rows are views or references *into* columns which hold references to the actual data cells
* Tables are meant for managing and structuring *small* amounts of data (less than 10k rows) per table.
* Just as you might do "=A1:A5" to reference a cell range in google or excel, you might do "opt(table1:columnN)" in a column header to create a 'type' for the cells in that column.
* An enumeration is a table with a single column, useful for doing the equivalent of airtables options and tags. You will never be able to decide if it should be stored on a specific column, on a specific table for ease of reuse, or separately where it and its brothers will visually clutter your list of tables. Take a shot if you are here.
* Typing or linking a column should be accomplishable first through a command-driven type language, held in column headers and cells as text.
* Take a shot if you somehow ended up creating any of the following: an FSM, a custom regex parser, a new programming language.
* A good structuring system gives us options or tags (multiple select), selections (single select), and many other datatypes and should be first, programmatically available through a simple command-driven language like how commands are done in datacells in excel or google sheets.
* Columns are a means to organize data cells, and set constraints and formatting on an entire range.
* Row height, can be overridden by the settings of a cell. If a cell overrides the row and column render/graphics settings, then it must be drawn last--drawing over the default grid.
* The header of a column is itself a datacell.
* Columns have no order among themselves. Order is purely presentational, and stored on the table itself.
* The last statement is because this allows us to pluck individual columns out of tables for specialized views.
*Very* fast scrolling on large datasets, with row and cell height variability is complicated. Thinking about it makes me want to drink. You should drink too before you embark on implementing it.
* Wherever possible, don't use a database.
If you're thinking about using a database, see the previous koan.
* If you use a database, expect to pick and choose among column-oriented stores, and json, while factoring for platform support, api support, whether you want your front-end users to be forced to install and setup a full database,
and if not, what file-based .so or .dll database engine is out there that also supports video, audio, images, and custom types.
* For each time you ignore one of these nuggets of wisdom, take a shot, question your sanity, quit halfway, and then write another koan about what you learned.
* If you do not have liquor on hand, for each time you would take a shot, spank yourself on the ass. For those who think this is a reward, for each time you would spank yourself on the ass, instead *don't* spank yourself on the ass.
* Take a sip if you *definitely* wildly misused terms from OOP, MVP, and spreadsheets.5 -
"=$B1*INDEX(A:A,ROW())"
See this absolute bullshit right here?
This fucking cunt of a problem designed by some dippity-do finger-painting fucking jackass at google doesn't work why?
Because for some *god damn reason* they decided it would be a good idea to setup it up in a way that when you use absolute cell references in a formula, you can't use functions in the formula too. No the other side has to be a literal or cell reference apparently.
Motherfuckers.3 -
We have built an entire app that is very critical to our business on google sheets. My boss did this all by convincing people he is doing that to save time on admin panel development. But the business suffers with slowness and so many problems. And he loves google sheets for some crazy reason I don't know.6
-
tl:dr
i fucking hate that professor for whom i have to work on laboratory project right now.
reason#1
the project is using a stack full with java. JavaScript. react and some weird facebook api of which i have no clue about. not to mention the server side of this application which uses tomcat (ok its java after all) and sql.
well that wouldn't be not so bad if...
reason#2
we wouldn't have to fucking debug his mistakes he put into the fucking prepared code AND his fucking useless instructions how to set up the project for eclipse the first time. not to mention his fucking requirements which make no sense
oh yeah im a student. i can always go and ask him for help if i need any...
reason#3
i have another 70% mandatory course at the same time and that fucker refuses to upload hos sheets in moodle and answer even one fucking question via mail. not to mention no support if I am there unless i have eclipse setup. even through the projects should be build using gradle...
reason#4
oh. and have i mentioned that this course is only about design patterns? uts not like we could see several of them in a java only application. no we literally have to learn java itself. gradle. nodejs JavaScript Extended for react which i have no clue about at the moment... and yes i especially mentioned gradle and nodejs beccause we have to set shit up and not only use a script.
reason#5
and all that wont even give us a grade. no ita simply a pass or fail part of the module which the course is part of.
have i also mentioned that the whole shit should be done in 20 hours according to the schedule8 -
I am not even at our office yet the PM already sent us multiple emails asking us to do trivial stuff like update excel sheets, file reports, etc... WTF!? Can't you fucking wait till I get to work!?1
-
How did we normalize Project Managers (non-technical scumbags who literally just make excel sheets and track work items) yelling at Developers (they literally get everything done).
Imagine having PMs yelling at surgeons for not removing a tumor fast enough or something.5 -
Finally got my wall up to my desk in whiteboard. 4' by 8' sheets cut to fit the whole wall with a 1/8" clearance at the top. Ignore the raspberry pi, I have to set it up this way because I have no USB network adapter or long enough Ethernet cable. There should have been a magic mirror where the box is but on that specific spot in the wall the studs are only 13 1/2" instead of 14" like they should be...
3 -
Copy/Paste to/from multiple clipboards in Windows - https://github.com/Matts/AltCopy
I've always had the issue when refactoring code, I am wanting to "copy on cut", or just having two clipboards to use separately.
I am not sure if anyone has ever had this issue before, and so am also not sure if anyone has ever created a solution it. So I took 10 minutes and made a AutoHotkey script to solve it.
6 -
Fuck this new fad of forcing you to open a new tab when you click on a link. I already have 40+ tabs do you think I need another fucking tab just for your shitty homepage? If I wanted to do that I would just fucking use command (cntrl) click. Stop forcing me. And fuck google especially for making this a thing with google drive and switching between accounts. I mean why the fuck do I need a tab of just the idiotic sheets homescreen (the one that doesn't even include my sheets)? And if I want to switch accounts why do you open the new account in a new tab? I don't want to have my old account up I wanted to switch that's why it's called switch accounts7
-
Introducing the cheat.sh discord bot!
Brought to you by @TheMiper and myself, this guy delivers the latest and greatest cheat sheets from @chubin's cheat.sh straight to your discord server.
We've been messing around with it for a while now, so we think it's time to share it with the world.
We're hosting the bot on heroku, so feel free to try it out, find bugs, give feedback, contribute etc.
We also need an avatar.
Invite link: https://discordapp.com/api/oauth2/...
repo: https://github.com/PaperBag42/...
Enjoy!6 -
Maybe it is too late for wk199 but i have interesting things that have happened recently.
1.After 3 days of panic buying shops still have stuff in them thanks to the logistic chain
2.I can finally focus on my project at home, i cant fucking belive that covid_19 did more for my education than my fucking university for past 3 years.
3.My dormitory has been captured by the military in order to be converted for quarrantine space. Noble idea IF I WAS FUCKING INFORMED BY IT BEFORE. Ok they had called me and explained thag stuff will be collected and put in separate bags so nothing will be lost... BUT THEY SAY THAT THEY MIGHT THROW AWAY FOOD
(my fridge is empty but i made a small stockpile of things like cereal or insta soups) If they will get thrown out i will GET FUCKING PISSED. Aparently that info was written in the newspaper but Im IN A OTHER CITY AND UNI ADMINISTRATION DIDNT EVEN BOTHER TO WRITE AN EMAIL.
I hope my bed sheets are going to be collected too i dont want other fuckers to be using my shit. Not only i have to share room and bathroom i realy dont want to share items.
So i hope they will do that fucking propely.
1.Collect ALL OF THE THINGS
2.Dont throw anything out
3.Segregate them from my roommates shit so it wont get mixed.
I know we should do something about that pandemic but that is just borderline stupid. YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO ACT NORMALY AND JUST WASH HANDS, NOT BRING MARSHALL LAW AGAIN POLAND!2 -
Working from home. Most of the team is off. Client has an official half day. Most of them are off. Instead of being online at 7 am, gonna get online around 850 just before daily standup. Laying in bed, enjoying the cool sheets and the fact that there's no rush. ~0730 team lead calls, user shit himself and I need to fix it. Server issue? Nope. Data issue? Nope. Portal bug? Nope.
Client input conflicting data and can't progress with tool.2 -
Chrome has failed me. At least, I was disappointed.
So, I have been working with an animation studio to make some changes to their Website, typical WordPress website.
Nothing wrong there, I have a copy of their WP site running on a localhost so I can make changes & tests before pushing to bitbucket (then to be deployed). Now, a lot of the changes I have been making are minor css, html & js changes. Mostly FrontEnd changes.
The frustration came when working on a couple JS sheets; I would change some CSS and JS, save the files then go over to Chrome to test them out.
Open the localhost and test the changes, CSS changes worked! Looks good, but for what ever reason the JS functionality would not change. 2 ish hours of frustration, seeing only half of these changes working I decide to step out for a coffee break. Then I remembered; Chrome has a nasty habit of caching files it has used before for later use. Turns out it was using some older versions of the files that it had cached.
Thankfully I remembered this; only ended up being 2 hours of frustration. For anyone else using Chrome for development; keep this in mind.1 -
So first rant, here goes weirdness, and also lengthy rant
So in my company we have the hr and accounting managed by the same person which also deals with all things employee related and she had a need for a way to extract a birthday from, what is in our country the personal identification number, things go great i get a formula that performs parts of the magic up to the point where the first digit of the number dictates the gender and century to be used when forming the full year, mind you only the last two digits of the year are in plain within the id number so i thy a number of ideas. After bashing around google sheets for a while ( i've got open office installed and formulas don't export well to the excel that person uses but google sheets does so i built it there).
First idea : make a few conditionals to check for the value so we have 1 and 2 for 19th century, 3 and 4 for 18th century , 5 and 6 for 20th so i go ahead and write my conditions and they fail, all evaluates to false, it cascades through the else variants up to the last one so i'm wondering if the "if" itself doesn't support the or operator, seems it does, next i think it's the bloody condition written wrong so i reevaluate my logic in php in a test script, it works as intended, then i think ok not the right function called, let's see the docs, docs confirm i'm doing it right but what was wrong was the way i was getting that first number, using left seems to produce a string although the base thing is a number, now i start searching how i can cast it, like you would normaly do when the data type is fried, value function appears to be the solution but it isn't working....now i'm thinking "ok so i have a value and different things to print out so let's look for a switch, maybe it can understand that" switch function found under the form of choice, i get it sorted but am stuck wondering why the heck was the if and value combination not working.
Simple answer to that : value doesn't work well with function results, a known bug listed by someone in a comment, a comment i have failed to read for about 45 minutes of trying to understand.
All in all it worked well for the person asking for it so it's nice. -
Do you have ever tried to recover a very valuable shredded stack of paper (4 sheets)? They are shredded into A LOT OF PIECES and not stripes as I hoped for!!
After 5 hours work I have found 15 pieces which fit together! I am so pissed about myself and my incompetence when it comes to data cleaning 😡😠🤬14 -
> checking it once
> checking it twice
> on production it still fails in front of our eyes
> programmers are coming back to the office -
URG!
I cannot think about a title, so just story:
in my position as multi headed chimera one of my ongoing task is it to dedust old excel sheets, processes and other super inefficient relics that steal time. Mostly i solve those with some tiny vba scripts, bigger vba scripts or a tiny java applications. usually that takes a few hours or maybe two days, depending on what i think is necessary.
the current task at hand is for our (physical) production, work time is noted on a sheet of paper and later given to the production head. Who then proceeds to type it all in excel to do his thing. The guy is starved of time by a huuge margin.
So, crafty kangaroo that i am i think: a barcode scanner, some raspberry pis with touchscreens and some mediocre php/mysql/javascript will make our worries go away. of course this will be a longer task but there is no need to have it done immidiatly. So crafted a working prototype, presented it in the weekly company meeting and got it "greenlighted".
The other day our CEO-like guy was ranting that nothing in this company gets ever done and that people wasting their time with useless projects and named my project among them.
I dont get humans. First he gives thumbs up for this, knowing that it will probably take me 100 hours or so to create in a working manner but later he calls it "a waste of time?" I presented the use (reducing expensive mantime, paper waste and room for fudgery) and yet he calls it useless? (well, his point was that there are other problems (which are out of my reach anyway))
they guy normally is pretty nice and has an ear for problems, but when it comes to higher computer stuff (>excel) he really struggles.
:/
i really like my side project, gives me room to flex some muscles and test stuff. Also playing with raspberry pis on worktime.
On a sidenote, anyone ever tried raspi mesh networks and knows where i get working >10 inch capacitive touch screens? -
!rant
"It was a slow day at work and another intern suggested finding a way to send messages discretely between our computers on the local network.
To accomplish this I chose any true programmer’s favorite tools: excel sheets and VBA."
http://tristancalderbank.com/2016/... -
!(pure)dev
This might sound like generalisation but the amount of paper people in France (atleast Paris) waste uneccesarily is shocking. It disturbs me to see some jackass printing pages after pages of garbage in the office each time they want to check if a printer is working as expected. Or the professors using huge white sheets to explain shit when the white board is right fucking behind them (to add to it, they use only one side of the sheet). Or literally every single store handing out paper receipts for a 1€ chocolate I buy. Why isn't their a digital alternative? Why are people so not bothered about how much they're fucking the planet just coz they have enough resources to live happily?
If machines ever overthrow humanity, I'm sure they'll do a better job in tidying up everything.4 -
I was interviewed for a job at a very big company and everythin went fairly well untill they brought 3 sheets of paper with .net specific theory and gave me 30 minutes to answer them... What the actual fk
-
So I was wondering, in this era of technology, with so many tools and options to take and share notes, who does still prefer to take notes on paper?
While I use tools like Trello to list all the tasks with the team, for my own notes I use paper sheets, as I find easier to check on them.
Besides, if I'm stuck with something, I can doodle a bit (I even use a pencil instead of a pen :p)3 -
I'm not proud of this, but I'm not sure there's a better way of doing this.
Context: texture sheets are massive, so I wanted them to be gced when possible. Problem is, during init, the gc kept collecting the sheets, which added a full 5-10 seconds to load times.
This ensures that the sheets stay in memory until everything is initialized.
15 -
Inconsistent, legacy access databases might just be a tad worse than excel sheets.
Not sure if to end myself or the author...1 -
Those 'HR tools'. 'Workforce Management'.
Once the company commits to it, they stay in use long after their interfaces have become clunky, their features outdated. Pretty bad UX.
Expense reports. Time Sheets. Leave Applications.
I'm looking at you, Kronos. >.< -
How do you guys motivate yourself to work out.
Its been 2 times... First i tried 2 years ago in Aug 16.
Back then , my college started and i got busy in that so left the gym after a month. I blamed myself, the tiredness it gave me and lack of friends/work out partners there at that time.
Second time, i tried more hardly in jan 2018. This time, i had my gym companions, nd i was doing better. At the start i was handling the stress well, since it was just the clg and gym,then came along the internship, but i still handled it. But after the internship, i felt the need to up my skills and do more personal projects which was still not happening because of the gym tiredness. And then came along a scholarship into one of my favorite courses, and then the papers, and then.... A lot of 'other' things started happening, so i leftthe gym jn may 18.
I am concerned about a few things. 1)These days, I am usually entangled between entertainment, clg work, self learning/ scholarships. I used to do gymming in evening hours after clg and self learning on weekends, but now i am like everyday am straight to home from clg, onto bed, into the sheets, laptop on, and am doing scholarships task till late night. I fear that my work is now so important that i cannot push it to weekends. How do you guys manage learning and maintaining your body together?
2. Gym is a sick environment. We see pumped up people with 8% body fat , skin sticking to their ugly muscles while i am there , juggling my belly fat on the treadmill. For 2 months straight i was just doing the cardio. It gave me some results i guess, my belly got a Little loose but no one really saw much changes. I am not concerned about other people or fast results particularly, but when combined, i feel like am going to a royal house party everyday, where everyone except me is a beautiful king or queen , except me, a lowly peasent . Those pumped up kings are beating their bodies and getting more beautiful, while i am trying to beat these dead belly meat which won't flatten up .
Meh.2 -
Still remember the first time I started writing style sheets, the biggest confusion was why do they use an id where we can always use a class.
Now I know why. Only you are your identity, but there may be many people of the same class. :)2 -
20 more minutes until I arrive to my parents home. 4 days of calm country zone, 2 small sheets to be done for 2 projects. All in the middle of nature!
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So I don't know if any of you know what BPA (Business Professionals of America) is (and its okay if you dont because its for highschoolers)
They hold competitions for us each year and Im going to be on my classes web dev team as the back-end python programmer. Weve already assigned everyone to their languages and were going to study so we can be prepared.
For the competition we have a few months to work on a website that actually works, front end, back end and all. There has to be forms and maybe even signup sheets that actually work.
Its really exciting and I'm definitely going to post the adventure of programming it along the way on devRant!!
If you wanna learn more about BPA go to their website, if your curious about what some kids get to experience then I'd suggest checking it out!!! -
So, I recently started a new job as a "general" IT tech for someone my dad knows. He does insurance billing and everything is done manually (manually copying from pdfs to excel sheets, etc). A couple of weeks ago, I started developing a custom suite of software for automation of some parts of the processes + integration with the task management software we use. At this point, I feel like my boss is turning into a client. Is this a common occurrence? BTW, it's a small company (5 employees including him) and I'm the only person who does tech around here.1
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i am becoming our companies excel advanced expert. actually i am just better at internet searching than the rest of us. creating fully automated sheets makes me wonder what all of the office stuff learned during their appreticeship and how they can avoid using office properly while entering everything manually.
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How resource calculations for software services like code analysis, monitoring, etc are done:
Opening fridge, putting all the beer one can find in it.
Opening the necessary tools, e.g Excel, Accounting software, ....
Drinking the first beer.
Starting to aggregate the monthly costs - cause you can never trust the reports written by someone else...
First beer poof.
Looking at the monthly cost, adding columns "Intended use", "Actual usage pattern", "Usage factor"...
Opening next beer...
Usage factor is btw a factor of 0.1 ... 1.0 - to give an estimate how much the products feature are actually used, for further analysis if the invest is justified or not...
Oh. Another half bottle gone...
Filling in the columns...
Oh. Bottle empty and the next one toooooooooooooooo...
*burping*
*cracking finger joints*
Now let's get to the sad part...
Next worksheet, adding infrastructure costs...
Cost and description as columns.
Hehe. Column sounds like gollum.
Another beer...
Ugh. Need the paper reports, manually typing off things for stuff that was e.g. tax deductible.
Many beers die during this task. Poor little beers, dying for such an boring and mundane task...
SUM is a real useful function. I don't think I can add numbers anymore.
Now we can add another sheet.
Hehe. Sheet sounds like shit. And yes, everything in this file is shit.
Summing up costs from both sheets and including the cost factor from 1
... Beeeeeeeer Beeeeer beer we need more beer here... Beer beer beer...
Where was I. Oh yeah. Cost factorization total vs effective.
Why do I want to get even more drunk.
Oh yeah. Most software is completely underused and the costs aren't justified.
Let's add some colored highlighting ...
Uuuuh. ,Too much red. Better change the highlights.
Too much red.
More beer.
Don't give a fuck.
Hm.
Time for some whiskey.
What else is there to do....
Oh yeah.
Diagrams.
The bloody wankers from accounting need diagrams as numbers are too boring.
Not that everything in accounting is boring, no matter how much you paint colors on it... *sigh*
Hm. More whiskey...
Hehe. Whiskey rhymes with frisky.
Uff. Now just need to write mail. Mail mail mail....
"Copy paste the last mail from last month"
Hm.
Ah.
*sipping whiskey*
Spell check extension - to the rescue.
Thesaurus *burps*.
Let's change a few words here and there... Maybe another paragraph there.
Uh....
Trying to attach file...
*fucking mouse is pretty constantly crashing into empty beer bottles*
Done.
Damn.
Need to press send button.
*Creating mess on the desk by just randomly crashing the beer bottles*
Done.
*Pressing computers power button*
Mwahahahaha. No mouse needed.
*regretting to stand up too quickly, nearly barfing on the floor*
Couch ... Where Couch...
After hitting several doors, frames and other stuff, the glorious mission ended successfully with a most graciously executed gut buster on the couch.
(Regretting next morning to have emptied two 6 packs and a few glasses of whiskey) -
life becomes sulking when you have no support.
1. bought a new car. finally everything went good and i was able to get out of the infinite loop of anxiety : "where would i park?" "fights with neighbour" , "how to become confident after learning to drive in driving schools?" , efc
2. on delivery day, a friend helped park the new car near home. the plan was that from next day , we will start taking classes on self car with a car trainer
3. this morning, i took a class with car trainer alongside my mom as she wanna learn too. she used to drive somewhat shakily 10 years ago.
She got scared seeing me to drive. i was driving fine as the trainer hmmself didn't scolded me anything. i was driving at 30kmph on empty roads, while she is trained to drive at 10-15kmph. whe she drove, her driving was full of jerks and sudden break/clutch release, but i remained mum
4. later on, one of my friend also rejected going with me for driving. and the car trainer is also citing some time issues for next few days. i am now stuck with:
- a brand new car wrapped under sheets with no future for getting out
- a driving license in my wallet that will keep on taking dust as i would rarely be allowed to ever take my car out for a 60km drive to office.
-some overly anxious parents trying to take out my morale
- a sad me. when will the life give me a chance to fuckin grow up?
i have cracked the IT for fuck's sake. i started from peanuts salary, and worked my way to a great package, i am a person who understands how to live. why the fuck can't i learn this skill5 -
Idk why but this morning I was thinking about this high school elective class where we learned Adobe flash. But specifically 2 instances where I ignored the teacher and did my own thing
1. We were using Sprite sheets and he had us use photoshop to cut out the Sprite to a different layer and manually save each Sprite one by one to disk to use in flash. Some sheets had 50 fucking sprites
So I found a script for Adobe (action script I think they called their Javascript derivative) that exported every layer for me without all the manual clicking. There is probably an even better way. But this worked for how lazy I was back then
2. Our final projects we could do anything but he suggested not doing anything too complicated cause of time constraints and he barely taught is the scrptinh language for Adobe flash so making flash games was almost out of the question.
Me being stupid really wanted to make a working pong game. So I spent too long watching a German (i dont know German) tutorial video I found, and troubleshooting outdated code from that video. And improving things where I could with my limited knowledge made worse cause I wasn't interested in programming and didn't start learning python until the following year
Yeah don't know why I was thinking about those. But I feel it's a good perspective on how far I've come. From hacking together a pong clone with no skills, to being hired to automate and optimize processes and legacy projects -
Hands down, one of my seniors in my bachelor's degree. His name is Mohit.
He helped me out with course materials, gave me guidance on tech and emerging technologies, gave me books, video lectures, cheat-sheets u name it.
Guy is a massive nerd, he used to be holed up in his room for days. And oh yeah, he also wasn't shy with sharing his knowledge and internet downloaded data, which was a pretty massive deal in 2012 when internet and WiFi was crazy expensive.
Also, he would ask me what games I needed so he would download it for me and hand it out for free.
That guy is the reason I even chose tech industry to have a career in to begin with. Last I heard from him, he got fucked up by a girl and decided to move to Bangalore and start a company. That company has net-worth of $4.5 million so he's doing pretty well. -
Rushing to get a feature completed for a client presentation tomorrow has turned my Sass sheets into a nightmarish hellhole of classes, nesting, and questionable specificity. This is taking a huge liberty with "if it works, ship it."
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Time sheets. I'm not a fan of our task management system, you don't check out jobs or tasks like moving cards on a kanban board, it's more of a loose, calendar-based setup. We're also in a small, open office so it can be difficult to remember to log things in the software when you could tell the person opposite you that their task is finished. On top of that a lot of the time it takes me longer than the scheduled time to get a job finished as I'm learning a lot of new stuff, so digitally documenting things like that worry me a little. I don't want to look like I can't hack it just because a job takes me longer than my much-more-experienced colleagues.
I should note that I understand it's all incredibly useful data to the company, but I hate doing it and it's very easy to forget or ignore.4 -
When I was discussing this position with their HR, she mentioned they are filing time sheets, but she didn't mention they do it by typing something like "10:10-12:34" in a text area
Now she is like "oh, you'll get used to it, everyone did"1 -
An App/service which would help doctors and patients to schedule consultation hours. Also an patient would always have medical relevant documents as digital documents. No more waiting for faxes, no more lost diagnostic sheets everything is always in reach. No more search for an MRI appointment and no more overfilled waiting rooms. Better programms for docs! The ones ive seen in hospitals and doctors offices looks horrific..1
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So an old friend (high school classmate) asked me recommendations on several older/second hand laptop ads he saw online. He listed several items with detailed specs sheets and I replied with
Ctrl+F thinkpad
Search term not found
and linked him to a thinkpad ad in the same price range but better specs.
I... still swear Im not a fanboy. -
Wasting 7 sheets of paper because of this fucking HP Officejet(6600). ALL I ASKED WAS TO PRINT THAT FREAKING 14 PAGE LONG DOCUMENT AND YOU WITH YOUR FUCKING OWN MIND LET ME UNSTUCK YOU 7 TIMES!!!
Me: Sends the document to the printer.
Printer: Let's do like I am going to print.
Printer: let's show the "document stuck" message
me: Let's open the back and remove the paper.
Printer: let's show the "document stuck" message
Me: Just pressed OK and it continues
WTF YOU AREN'T EVEN STUCK YOU FUCKING STUPID PRINTER.
Looks like every time I send a file to the printer at least the 1st sheet will troll me with that message.
Printer is asking for some free base jumping from the window lessons.1 -
Imagine an alternate universe where websites are actually just raw markup and style sheets.
People read this and imagine what the website look like.6 -
When you are leading in updating a product to the latest version of a framework, what allows the integration of webpack into it, and so also allows the usage of babel, what allows the usage of ES6 syntax.
And now everyone in the company started calling the "new javascript codes" a part of the framework, even though i explained multiple times how it works.1 -
tldr: I am looking for recommendations for a basic website for my parents. GOTO question;
Pre-Story:
My parents have a small (offline) business. They have a website to give some general information and list their weekly offers.
When I felt that what has come out of the website-building tool (you know, clicky clicky stuff) looked a bit too early 2000's and is a total ripoff for what you get (almost 20€ per month), I created something with Google Sites for them. Feel free to roast me, but web development is not my field and now it looks much more modern, is mobile friendly and does what it is supposed to do. Weekly offers are edited in a google sheets file, which is embedded in the website. Not great, but this way my mom doesn't have to deal with editing a tables on the page - trust me, it won't look good. This also meant they could downgrade the hosting package to discard the clicky-tool and just the domain (maybe 1€ per month). The website itself is hosted for free by Google.
Some time ago GDPR became a thing and then I was tasked to have a look at it. (side note: I don't want to rant about being responsible for it, that's fine. My parents don't really ask me to do a lot for them.) You can't enter any data on the website, it's just very basic stuff and data protection wise there's just the "usual" stuff (cookies, embedded tools, logs). I added another site with a halfway complete privacy policy. Regarding the whole cookie issue (do not enforce unnecessary cookies) I couldn't find an easy solution. It's not 100%, but what can you really expect from a small business like this? I've seen worse.
Now to the question:
Can you recommend a good alternative to the current solution (Google Sites)?
It should be cheap (<3€/month incl. domain) and my parents should be able to make some basic changes (just text in predefined locations). I am not afraid to get my hands dirty - I can deal with some HTML, CSS, JS - but I don't want to sink a lot of time into this. No need for analytics or the like. Maybe a newsletter would be cool (with the weekly offers), but that's just a random thought of mine and definitely not necessary.
Thanks for reading :)18 -
I've reached the point where I write my Google sheets functions in the same IDE as my other programming, because it handles errors better...2
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The analytics guy just sent me updated tracking specs for a web site.
There are two sheets in the file: "Custom Events LATEST" and "Custom Events updated". This is already confusing enough.
One of them has comments like "I'd like this to be amended", but the event specs described are the same as the ones implemented.
I asked him for clarification, turns out he wants the ones marked in black to be updated, the ones that don't have any label saying they don't need to be updated.
This is also a guy who for at least 2 years has been making columns in spreadsheets wider not by just widening them, or merging multiple cells, but by just letting text overflow into other cells.
I do wonder how some people manage to keep a job. -
I started Discord server for cascading-style-sheets (CSS) --- you know... that thing you write to make things look good. Come join in. Learn - and share what you know. It doesn't have to be so hard. https://discord.gg/BqdMkVS
5 -
Somebody forgot to correctly match the external url on login success and failure, now google may use my cookies for the better good.
https://symfony.com/blog/...
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We are a small team. 2 developers and our leader. We spend our day trying to fix the issues and for troubleshooting and our leader, who just send excel sheets, talk with the client, assign his tasks to us and watch series at Netflix complaints if we work only 10 hours per day....WTF?3
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We can’t use google sheets, cause of security risks.
(Okay...)
Not even for our showcase content.
Which is public.
The showcase content which goal of the company is to have seen by as many ppl as possible.
Cause security issues which may lead to the possibility of people seeing it.
Seeing the content we want them to see.
Roses are red
My dog ate my led
I may be going crazy
It would be so easy
If they used their head
Or at least fucking read
Edit: if any security expert can give me a valid explanation better than: “it’s the protocol” I am willing to accept I am wrong, but then the point is that they (colleagues) are dicks for not explaining5 -
Best tool: something similar to what I am already comfortable with and have low learning curve and gets the work done. Jet Brains IDE, Sublime text, Google sheets, zsh.
Worst tool: Something which will take me long time to learn and get used to. Vscode, powershell, chrome, vim.1 -
why am i not able to find a way to use multidimensional associative arrays in vba?
plus: why am i too dumb to see my own data structure and process data sheets in a complicated way instead of using prepared data with a simple string split?3 -
Sometimes while writing software / consulting I feel like house md. Not always am I right the first time, but this is often due to me looking at the wrong thing. But at the end of the day I am able to give advice that may be seen absurd but usually is correct.
(tip: it's never lupus, what is quite right because code is code)1 -
Friend asked me to help him with his excel file, as I know a bunch of that, it was just a small and quick thing he said, I just can't get this function to work...
Now I've rewritten all of that excel files functions and, without error handling and anomaly processing every function is an average of 500 chars. Times 500 unique functions...
QUICK AND EASY YOU SAID -
Damn you, Excel. In the past I've had the notion, that you are the OG perfect sheet editor. Now, that I actually have to use you, all I have to say is to go, bow before Google Sheets!6
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Once upon a time to prevent people from stealing my work I created a program that converted photos and files into double sided sheets of at codes with packeted contents so I could scan them into a high resolution file later and recompose them into a series of files
So very aggressively insistent we’re the dumb slaves that run all this crap in being cruel and evil and fucking themselves over that they stole these sheets from the document folders I carried in my backpack and sent me into a traumatized state pre amnesia and wasted 5 years of my life
Now all these same period are either leering programmed fools or withered miserable sacks of skin and I’m no closer to moved on from this bs and I find myself exasperated that everyone and their retard incestuous uncle would want to deny and repeat the same crap over and over as they as they are only making themselves crazy as well. Says something no records equals no future in essence essentially the reason if it’s not physically secured on land that cannot be taken away and we keep trading law and order for .., whatever these idiots get out of this well all die before we reach much furthet3 -
Hey, I need a little help here and I don't have a lot of time to figure this out.
I have this piece of code which I wrote in flask when I had just ventured into programming. The idea is that we have two excel sheets a search file and a demand file, all we need to do is search for the names from the demand file in the search file and then produce the result in an appropriate format. The problem, the names don't match up, quite often. Sometimes the spellings are wrong sometimes the way they named one things in the files is different, so, for that I have a keyword based search and I make another sheet called guesses where this data is then written.
I made it for my mom who's a doctor and does procurement (buying stuff) for the hospital. It was just a small project to help her and her team with a very inconvenient and boring task and I never could host it cause I really didn't know how to (in py) and I had used socketIO in flask along with threading and stuff. But now, shit has hit the fan as the software is suddenly in demand for obvious reasons.
Just help me host this thing somewhere. Thanks, link in comments.3 -
Wich ones are the best programming apps that you can find in the Play Store for Android? Anything that relates to programming or development: tutorials, language cheat sheets, IDE's, learning resources...4
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Hello fellow devs. I wanna create a survey site, which will contain 3 surveys within. All 3 surveys, will contain around 50 questions, and will have a range of input options. The site will collect the data from a form, store it and probably live visualize them with a plot-like library .
I was thinking about using React for the front-end, Firebase for the back-end + Google-Sheets and one of the many react-libraries for plotting.
Do you think that this stack is appropriate for that kind of app ? I am a bit concerned about firebase's querying system or the scalability of the app. (Since it will hold a lot of questions and answers )
( It's survey for developers, so I hope in the future you will participate in it :D ). -
I hate to even ask but...Thot I'd fool with the Zodiac cipher, Z408. Managed to paste the frequencies of English letters into Android Drive. Multiply that by 408 gives the expected # of letters. So I drag the 1st equation down the column to select the cells but that's ALL it does. Have used 2 other sheets, same thing. What's going on?1
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Rather than using the project management software that the company has spent the past year getting set up and stuck into, the new ops manager seems to think that faffing around in Google Sheets and making pretty schedules is the way forward.
If you're doing some work that's in your actual job list, but not in the new pipeline, ohhhh boy.
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