In Europe, we use € instead of $ in jQuery.

*Looking at other student’s code*
Me: Why do you have a line that only says “var != var2”? That doesn’t do anything.
Them: That tells the computer to set var to anything except var2, right?
Me:

When you accidently change (refactor) the variable name and you have no idea which var is which:

Make let not var.

Var gf = [];

Is it just me or am I the only one who gets pissed if someone checks the expected result of a variable first?

For example:
if(true === $var)

Instead of:
if($var === true)

JS Developer :
var x = 2
x = "hello"

Java developer:
what the hell !!

Someone is wondering how to get this piece of code working as expected on StackOverflow:

for (var i = 1; i <= 2; i++) { setTimeout(function() { alert(i) }, 100); }

Found this gem in answers. :D

!rant

Does anyone of you know LOLCODE?
If not let me present you a simple program that displays the numbers 1-11 and terminates:

HAI 1.2
CAN HAS STDIO?
I HAS A VAR
IM IN YR LOOP
UP VAR!!1
VISIBLE VAR
IZ VAR BIGGER THAN 10? KTHX
IM OUTTA YR LOOP
KTHXBYE

You gotta love the okay thanks bye as termination :D
Check it out on GitHub

for(var i = 0; list.length; i++) {}

*Shit what's wrong*

How I losed 30 min yersterday.

Me everytime🙄

Theres only 2 kinds of people in this world:

1. var username;
2. var user_name;

Hint: one of them will burn in hell

var day = (new Date()).getDate()

Student: "We're programmers. We can't get a date" 🤣

Once had a guy who wrapped all his code in:

for(var i = 0; i < 1; i++){ }

Still wakes me up at night..

Code works.

Rename a variable for clarity.
Third-party lib behaves differently, breaks things.

Change the var names back.
Still broken.

Stash changes and checkout previous commit.
Everything works.

Diff with stash.
No notable changes. (some comments, ...)

Checkout branch again, pop stash.
Broken again.

... What?

i am declaring a war
var war;

So... I learnt a couple things today about C++ language which I didn’t know before...

1. float var = 5.9;
std::cout << ( var == 5.9 );

// shows 0 (false) coz of float and double thing... apparently, 5.9 isn’t automatically converted to float when compared to one 🤔

2. arr[ i ] == i[ arr ]

Well... I guess I now like my college 1% more from the previous % whatever that was 😊☺️

My team's program for the Coding Contest.
Seriously.
Need I say anything other than

List<KeyValuePair<int, KeyValuePair<int, ...>>>

and

var v = list.Key.Key.Key.Value
var w = list.Key.Key.Value

?

But eh, it worked for the contest, that code is never to be seen again haha

Worst advice?
That must have been that time my boss asked me how to restart rsyslog (Windowsguy and I was on vacation)
- "just do rm -r /var/log haha"
And ONE SECOND LATER I SENT THIS
- "haha jk dont"
Waiting a minute and I get this:
- "well that did not work"

Damnit

When /admin is protected by nothing more then:

var admin = false;
If(!admin){
setTimeout( function(){
window.location.href = "/home"
}, 1000);
}

My favourite to ever stumble on and dred going through hundreds of files to actually fix😣

So apparently due to an extremely talkative x input driver and an error in a certain app, I've been running an emergent keylogger on my computer for half a year. On every keypress event, the driver would call the app, the app would segfault, the driver would log the incident including the event to /var/log and then crash, and the app would restart the worker. I noticed this when I started wondering why /var/log is over 100GB in size.

var fUCKEDuPcAMELcASE

My coworker when he is copy pasting code without thinking..
Something like that:

var x;
if (veryExpensiveFunction()) {
x = veryExpensiveFunction();
// do something messy with x..
}

Sometimes I really feel the urge to punch him in the neck - and he never knows why I’m freaking out.. :’(

Task:
- Replace a 4 year old PHP API.
Old API:
- PHP script writing PHP scripts to /var/www/ for every endpoint needed
- Answers everthing with 200 (not even 404)
DB:
- MySQL 5.6
- ~ 1000 Tables, NO FUCKING FK's
Documentation:
- "Wasn't worth the effort"
New API:
- Not allowed to behave any different
.
.
.
😭

var stickersHere = true;
if (stickersHere) { console.log('Yay!!'); }

Opening somebody else's code(11000+ lines in 2 js files) only to find a 100+ "var a" declarations and naming conventions like var chart1, var chart2. Best part? Not a single comment. Even better? The one who wrote the code doesn't remember what does what.

When i was 15 i wanted to try myself at coding and hacking.

Yeah a bit ignorant i know.

Anyhow，i randomly found a python tutorial i believe.

Got things running and started the first tasks.

Create a var， associate a string. Create a second var and associate a new string.

Concat them and you get a new string with both of em together.

Then i told myself that this was fucking shit and i quit.

15 years later，i regret more and more that i let it go but what a fucking dumb tutorial that was...

17 years of coding and i would have been a fucking beast.

So after you fucked your Ubuntu installation last year because you decided to `chmod -R 777 /` you are telling me that you did the same to /home and /var/lib because the former intern "told you so"?!?!

How can someone be SO FUCKING STUPID??
Fuck...
My boss ladies and gentleman...

WHY DON'T YOU FUCKING READ THE CHANGES IN YOUR FUCKING PULL REQUEST???

If you did, you would realize that 50% of the stuff is total fucking nonsense. I don't want to see that you changed "var a = 0" to "var a= 0" just because you can't type with your shitty fingers.

Also, if you did read the changes in your PR, you would have realized that you added a bunch of totally unrelated changes in totally unrelated files.

Fuck! Am I the only one who always tries to produce a clean changeset?? Damn

Just saw this in the code I'm reviewing:

function encryptOTP(otp){
var enc = MD5(otp);
return enc;
}

Talked to long time friend a while back.
I think he freelances now and does some kind of web design stuff.

He said, he hates java, and I asked what he hates about it:

" Those stupid variable types, I only use VAR in PHP to get around that stupid stuff. And what is this Oop anyway?".

😵 Dude? The fuck?

My typical development workflow:

$ ssh user@devserver
$ cd /appdir
$ git clone/pull
$ vim file
$ vim another file
$ tail -f /var/log/applog
$ vim file
$ git commit -am 'fixed the glitch'
$ git push origin dev
^D

Love reading through old code and seeing things like this

var hasFailed = (errors.length > 0)?true:false;

Makes you wonder what their thought process was when writing it :D

I just found this in some code I'm now supporting

for (var i = 0; i<1; i++) {
...
}

How my lecturer drilled JS syntax into us:

Write this:
var x = document.element;
x.value = 10;

Instead of this:
document.element.value = 10;

His reasoning:
"You make the cake in the kitchen, you don't put icing on it on your way to present the cake"

var { name: x } = person
Day 1 : that's some good ES6 code man, I'm so 2017
Day 5 : Oh yeah I think it works, dont really remember
Day 17 : WTF is that ? Is that even Javascript ?

var print = console.log;

My favorite line when I'm working with node.

Fond this gem in teams code;
Var temp = "",
Var tmp = "",
Var tmp2 = "",
Var tmpIDK = "";
Asked the creator only 4 hours after the commit what his code does. The answer; I have no idea, but it works, don't touch it.

Declare var. Not war.
Execute programs. Not people.

That moment when you write 'bar' instead of 'var' in your JS file.

Javascript being Javascript...

var date = new Date()
Mon Aug 13 2018 09:17:28 GMT+0200 (Mitteleuropäische Sommerzeit)

date.getDay()
1

date.getDate()
13

date.getFullYear()
2018

date.getYear()
118

Visual Studio : the var "listlines" is only assigned but its value is never used

Me : I'm using it on the next line, you piece of sh--

Wasted 7 hours for this:
import moment from 'moment'

Should be:
var moment = require('moment')

What happened? When app running in debug mode all is working without issues! When generating release APK, it crashes when using moment

Fucking hybrid shit apps...

I have a coworker who comments every line of code he writes and it doesn't matter how simple the code is and it drives me crazy when I have to look at it. A real life example:

// Gets the total length of the server name string
var total = serverName.length;

That should be enough characters...

var str = "The Hardest Button to Button";
   var res = str.substring(0, 16);

Slange var my dudes.

Any favorite liquors/sanity juice to reccommend for a noob dev?

var 574h4jf4j4jfjj4j = "";

var date = new Date();
var month = date.getMonth();
console.log(month); // 2

who thought it would be a good idea to start the months of at 0 rather then 1

var redundant_function = function () {
console.log('happy birthday to me') ;
}

Var var var...

Software development lessons are so boring and the teacher is so stupid. He can't swap two variables without a temporary var. He said that he never saw this kind of swaping before. I pay attention sometimes, but I'm just drawing in my exercise book.

Huh. ES6's variable destructuting on objects is actually pretty cool.

var {foo, bar, baz} = obj

Is functionally equivalent to this:
var foo = obj.foo
var bar = obj.bar
var baz = obj.baz

I like it! Makes things simpler.

var m = Me()
var f = Friend()

f.speak("I just wiped my whole disk drive with everything on it and I just realized how much I didn't care about all those movies I didn't watch or the TV shows that I'm keeping on the side...... It's like a clean new PC and I feel so free")

m.speak("Stop with the spiritual bullshit. You were installing Windows and it was a mistake right?")

f.cryAndNod()

m.sigh()

let 🌎 = "🐶🐱🦁🐇🐢🐹🐀🐿️🐰🐓🐦🦃🕊️🐏🐐🐺🐃🐖🐗🦄🐂🐷🐼🐧🐘🐫🐯🐆🐵🐨🐪🐊🐋🐟🐠🐡🐙🦀🐬"

var ⛴️: String [] = []

for 💕 in 🌎 {
⛴️.append (💕 + 💕)
}

So I was coding a project that was left for me because the initial developer was fired (I didn't know why). When I was reading his code:

var saturday_sunday = week.day - 1;

Now I understand why he was fired.

The new holy war in C#:

Point p = new Point(5, 3);

vs.
var p = new Point(5, 3);

vs. (new)
Point p = new (5, 3);

and... FIGHT!!

Hey... to somebody reading this, most likely.

The problem, is that you put if($var = 'something')
You need ==, not =.
Php doesn't tell you that though. It'll just change the var to 'something'

That's why you're getting that really obscure, doesn't make any sense error.

You're welcome.

"No you can't use Java 11's `var` because other developers will [be boomers about it and unable to check types by hovering over variables for half a second]" - my team, basically

var i = 0;
setInterval(function(){
document.getElementById("el").style.width = i + "px";
i+=10;
},100);
And, children, this is how we were used to create animations years ago

So if you guys had a variable with an "ID" in it, would you write it like this:

"var userId;"

or like this:

"var userID;"

?
Just curious.

Cleaning up code...

var screenshotPanel = $(this).parent().parent().parent().parent().next().next();

Kill me now.

var self = this;

Turned on this old phone after 4 years, devrant was the only app still working without needing to update and logged in 👌
"I have a date! 😍
var date = DateTime.Now;"
Was still stuck in concepts waiting to be posted on here 🤣

[CMS Of Doom™]
Imagine bringing every HTTP Query Param and every god damn fucking POST var into to current code context.
"extract()" is one of the reasons why I have terminal PHPTSD.

var newBlack = "orange";

The next season feels like forever from now.

Few days ago I wrote function that finds occurrence of value in array:

function findOccurrence(value, array) {
for (var i = 0; i < array.length; i++) {
if (value === array[I]) return true;
}
return false;
}

But there's already [].includes() function in JavaScript.

Var X1 = "" ;
Var X2 = "" ;
Var A = "" ;
Var A2 = 1;

...why. Just why ever name variables like that.

var a = {
value: -1,
toString: function() {
return ++this.value;
}
}

if(a & !a) {
console.log("F**k you JS!");
}

if(a == 2 && a == 3) {
console.log("F**k you again JS!");
}

"shall I remove the folder /var/www/?"

CSS quick maffs

You need to make a responsive grid that should wrap its columns on smaller screens. That's whay you do:

.grid {
display: grid;
grid-template-columns: repeat(auto-fit, minmax(15rem, auto));
}

Replace 15rem with minimal width of a grid cell. Putting 0 there is bad because columns won't wrap then.

Now, let's make our task harder. We want the same grid, but we want say 4 columns max. That's what we should do:

.grid {
--columns: 4;
display: grid;
grid-template-columns: repeat(auto-fill, minmax(max(15rem, (100% - (var(--columns) - 1) * 1rem) / var(--columns)), 1fr));
}

--columns regulate the maximum amount of columns we can have.

Aight bye

Writing 'echo var' instead of 'echo $var' in a shell has the result of the system successfully dad joking you

So apparently I can't test my apps on my own device without paying my Apple Developer Certificate.

I knew it is needed to pay for it if you want to publish/distribute your app but c'mon... This is ridiculous.

My app was literally a fresh app creation, a fucking white screen one page fucking app and when I tried to run in on my iPhone, then I ended up having this problem:

dyld: Library not loaded: @rpath/libswiftCore.dylib
Referenced from: /var/containers/Bundle/Application/BCD48EAA-82C2-46F6-ADEE-45C740C3B66D/HWorld.app/HWorld
Reason: no suitable image found. Did find:
/private/var/containers/Bundle/Application/BCD48EAA-82C2-46F6-ADEE-45C740C3B66D/HWorld.app/Frameworks/libswiftCore.dylib: code signing blocked mmap() of '/private/var/containers/Bundle/Application/BCD48EAA-82C2-46F6-ADEE-45C740C3B66D/HWorld.app/Frameworks/libswiftCore.dylib'
(lldb)

If any of you guys know how to solve it without paying (even more) PLEASE let me know

THANKS

var wed_anniversary_5 = Date.now()

Debugging yor server code for over an hour only to find out that you were using "var/.." instead of "/var/.." 😐😐

Java: String foo =“bar”;
C#: var foo = “bar”;
Go: var foo string = “bar”

I just started learning Go and I’ve been cringing since.

var posts = 0;
Console.log("Hello devRant");
posts++;

trs()

For those of you desiring to post non-rants, I wrote a handy utility function for you:

/*
* Toggles whether this post is
* a rant or not.
*/
function toggleRant()
{
// Check if toggling is safe
for(var i = 0; i < 999999999; i ++)
for(var t = 0; t < 999999999; t ++);
console.log("Crazy security checks came through.")

// Toggle ('isRant' is true by default)
isRant = !isRant
}

From now on, you can easily put 'toggleRant()' on the first line of any rant. As we all know, the 'isRant' on devRant is true by default.

Feel free to play around with it:

toggleRant()
toggleRant()
toggleRant()

This would also indicate that your "rant" is not a rant.

I've also wrapped the 'toggleRant' into another function with a shorter name for you lazy people (which most programmers are):

/*
* Wrapper for 'toggleRant'.
*/
function tr()
{
toggleRant()
trogus() // Just in case
}

Or if you type one additional letter, you also make sure that it's extra safe to call the function:

/*
* Extra safe version of 'tr'.
*/
function trs()
{
for(var i = 0; i < 746985768; i ++);
console.log ("Extra safe")

tr()
}

R isn't my favorite language, but it drives me crazy that I cant do var++

Life's sometimes just amazing.. like those moments when you do "rm -rf /var" instead of "rm -rf var" and your whole system gets full of errors / unexpected behavior and random crashes.. Since I have project deadline tomorrow, really dunno should I cry or laugh right now

did you know, that in PHP, you can do:
if ( ! function_exists('function_name'))
{
function function_name()
{
//code of the function
}
}

which apparently means you can do
if($var == 'something'){
function functionName(){
//some code
}
} else if($var == 'something else'){
function functionName(){
//some completely different code
}
}

so now, apparently:
1. before this code executes, the function doesn't exist at all (okay, i can live with that)

2. after this code executes, any call to that function can result in any of those two completely different bodies of the same-name function executing, depending on what the $var was set at that time?

...so... now not only the same call to the same(name) function can do two completely different things, *but if you change the value of $var afterwards, you can't even properly find out which version of that function is in effect for the remainder of the run of the script*...?????

WHAT.
THE.
...i mean... I can't help but think that the idea of conditional function declaration like this is... kind of cool (have I been warped by JavaScript too much?), but at the same time... WHAT THE FUCK.

This just happened....

Tester: My cluster is not working properly!!!
Me: What's wrong?
Tester: I don't know. I've checked all the logs available on the entire cluster. All i know is that node 1 and 7 is broken.
*ssh into the cluster*
node1
# less /var/log/<affected application log>.log
*no errors here everything is working properly*
node7
# less /var/log/<affected application log>.log
*goes down to the bottom and scrolls up a few lines*
<insert massive error here>

Checked all the logs eh?

Do you guys drop the S from your variable names? I am constantly in a dilemma as to what makes more sense.

For example a SQL Table:

Books
----------
BookID
BookName
....
---------

OR

Book
---------
BookID
BookName
.....
---------

Or even in a language like C# or JavaScript:

const BOOKS
var books
let books

or

const BOOK
var book
let book

Even if you have multiple items in that variable/table it seems very redundant to ever have the s.

What do you guys think? Any input appreciated!

Happy coding!

var does not mean dynamic

make let not var

Other devranters:
LOL
MOAR
OHAHAHAHAH
OMG SO FUNNY

me:
make: *** No rule to make target `let'. Stop.

No arguments.. just me bitching over

var name_variable_int;
var someOtherNeme;
var ThisIsAlsoInSameFile;

that some guy thought would be nice to have in same file..
Just pick one, even if it's incorrect for the language, ffs!!

spent half an hour debugging an if statement that won't return anything but false. Apparently, the condition was:
if (check === true). and the check var was a string! so yeah, spent half an hour to realise I was checking if 'true' is true..

Random guy at work pushed this to production today...

var i = 0;
do { // DO NOT DELETE THIS! }
while (i < 1);
....
doImportantThing();

And my boss keeps saying code reviews are overrated, lol.

Me: *Writes a nice little AWS Lambda service using Java 12*

Reviewing Dev: Lambda only supports JDK 8

Me: *Dies inside and cries as I replace every occurence of var*

Behold the monstrosity regex my transpiler produces!

/val|var|[1-9]{1,32}|\+|\-|\*|s\/s|>>|=|;|(["'])(?:(?=(\\?))\2.)*?\1|print\(|log\(|sqrt\(|input\(|strToArray\(|httpGet\(|if\(|else|{|}|s==s|s>=s|s<=s|s>s|s<s|s&&s|\|\||!|;|\(|\)|\[|\]| |\w+/gi

"Ok guys. These files are just too big. If we change 'function' to 'f' - and 'var' to 'v' - and just make every keyword and variable possible: a 1-letter key, things will be much tidier and I can get back to focusing on work. It's just too messy."

Containerize everything
My containers are too big, let's just remove some useless binaries...
Later
~ $ less /var/log/foobar.log
/bin/sh: less: not found
~ $ cat /var/log/foobar.log
/bin/sh: cat: not found
~ $ ls /var/log/foobar.log
/bin/sh: ls: not found
~ $ su
/bin/sh: su: not found
~ $ exit
/bin/sh: exit: not found

in personal projects, it is really easy to tell when I'm horny. you will find variable names like
- hotVar
- sluttyVar
- FUCK_ME_VAR

15 minutes after that commit naming becomes
- var

When I write “grid-template-columns: repeat(auto-fill, minmax(max(15rem, (100% - (var(--columns) - 1) * 1rem) / var(--columns)), 1fr));” in my coworker’s code and it fixes the CSS grid

I hate myself so much right now. I just spent an hour finding the bug in the following:

var counter=0
while(1){
if(counter%2==0){
doStuff()
counter++
}
}

Because I thought it was a bug in doStuff().

Such variable names
much helpful
very wow!

Either I need to download sdk source code for var names to show up correctly or I need to memorize which is for what :\

function x () {
for (var i = 0; i < 5; i++) {
try {
return i;
} finally {
if (i != 3) continue;
}
}
}
console.log( x() ); // ?

I saw the news mass shooting news today :(

My deep condolence :(

I am fuckin angry though..

var fuckYouTerrorists = allTerrorists.length;

for (var i =0; i < fuckYouTerrorists; i++) {
burnInFuckinHellMotherfuckinShitCuntBastard(fuckYouTerrorists[i]);

}

For when I need to make a website awesome:

javascript:var a='hotPink',b='pink',h=document,i=h.body,c=function(d,e){f=h.getElementsByTagName('*');for(g in f){f[g].style.background=d;f[g].style.color=e;}};i.innerHTML='<marquee behavior="scroll" direction="left" scrollamount="30">'+i.innerHTML+'</marquee>';(function(){function htmlreplace(a,b,element){if(!element)element=document.body;var nodes=element.childNodes;for(var n=0;n<nodes.length;n++){if(nodes[n].nodeType==Node.TEXT_NODE){var r=new RegExp(a,'g');nodes[n].textContent=nodes[n].textContent.replace(r,b);}else{htmlreplace(a,b,nodes[n]);}}}htmlreplace("a|e|i|o|u",'o');htmlreplace("A|E|I|O|U",'O');})();c(a,b);

From A month of Python to start a month of JavaScript, my automated code review yells at me for missing "var" and ";"...

Global scope should not be the default and semicolons should be disallowed.

Reading code from a trainee:
$var = $var;
Yep, true...

KISS, DRY, Path of Least Resistance, Three Strikes and You Refactor, early returns, no array.map when nothing is returned, only use switch when # cases >= 3.

And using var in javascript instead of let/const to piss off my colleagues (and because I understand function scope well)

So... I finally decided to secure my VPS, so I started with sudo less /var/log/auth.log ...
Short story, not even gonna read every line, just gonna reset my VPS lol

Fuck you Edge!
I can name a var "screen", what is wrong with you? I don't care you have an Object named Screen, they are not the same and I rather use my own, thank you. It's not like I'm "let var=" on you, you piece of shit!

I have 2 log files in /var/log

kern.log 16.1GB
syslog 4.1 GB

BECAUSE I HAVE UBUNTU AND IT KEEPS THROWING PCIe errors on booting

Friend’s code:

var monkey=77;
Go(monkey);

The worst thing in the world is reading someone’s uncommented code ...

You know that feel as a developer when you add a feature to someone's existing project and you see a shitty code. well this has to be one of the shittiest code I have seen.

select_patient:function(patient)
{
console.log(patient)
this.select_patient_index = 0;
var pending = patient.Pending;
var USER_ID_Patient = patient.ID;
var prescription_ID = patient.Prescription_ID;
if(prescription_ID == null) prescription_ID = 0;
patient.Pending = pending = parseInt(pending);
patient.Prescription_ID = prescription_ID = parseInt(prescription_ID);
patient.USER_ID_Patient = USER_ID_Patient = parseInt(USER_ID_Patient);

if(pending > 0 && prescription_ID > 0)
{
this.select_patient_index = this.list.indexOf(patient);
$('#patientContinueModal').modal('show');
return false;
}

$scope.prescription.set(patient,null);
return false;
}

Also the guy has a space in his url.
xxxxxx.com/shopping cart !

My first instinct is to poke my eyes, find the developer (if we can call him that and shove it up his ______)

var

Co-Worker: How can I see what's linked to x variable in the database for this website? [we can't see the actual back end]
Me: Do a var dump...
Co-Worker: but what var do I dump?

var req = new UltimateCodingRequirements();
req.add('coffee');
req.add('music');
req.add('headsets');
var zone = new UltimateCodingZone();
zone.execute(req);

var pen;
var apple;
var pineapple;

Do I need to even finish the joke?

I HAS A VAR ITZ 12 BTW VAR = 12

function helloWorld() {
/**/var message = 'Hello world';
/**/print(message);
}

Fuck this I need to ventilate.

Thinking about job change because maintaining and extending 3 years old codebase (flask project) is FUCKIN exhausting. It was badly written since start by someone who obviously didn't know much about python. (Going by commit history.)

Examples:
- if var != None / if var == None
- if var is not None / if var is None (well..)
- Returning self-parsed obscure JSONs from dict variable
- Serializing dictionaries into database by str() (both sqlalchemy and mysql support JSON format) - THEY ARE ALMOST UNUSABLE OTHER WAY AROUND (luckily, python can deal even with that)
- celery tasks, the way they are called they BLOCK the whole flask (not bad in itself, but if connection breaks there are no errors, nothing it just hangs)
- obscure generator/yielding that contains return of flask's response in itself
- creating fifteen thousands of variables one by one where they would look so nicely as dict keys, and hey they are then both MANUALLY SERIALIZED into returning dict by "%s" (string formatting) [okey, some of them are objecst like datetime but MATE WTF]
- many, many more, PEP lint shall not pass

I would rather deal with fresh startup owners wanting me to program unicorns in one week then trying to extend and manage zombie-like projects.

Nothing personal against the firm I actually like the place.

When coworkers have a var dump on a page in production.-_-

I aint saying shit because everytime I mention something they do wrong I get assigned with fixing it. -_-

I'm writing a multi threaded program right now and just pray for the threads not accessing my var at the same time :) but I cannot use a locking algo because my 1st thread needs to access that var up to 1000 times a second. Pray for it to work as it should 🤔😇

The legacy-PHP-project-to-pay-my-future-trip strikes again.

WHY NOT !empty($var) OMGGGGGGG

As an exercise lets see how many different ways we can wish devRant Happy Birthday in code. Try not to copy peoples examples, use a different language or different method.

A couple of examples to start the process:

* LOLCODE *
HAI 1.3
LOL VAR R 3
IM IN YR LOOP
VISIBLE "Happy Birthday"!
IZ VAR LIEK 1?
YARLY
VISIBLE "Dear devRant"!
NOWAI
VISIBLE "to you"!
KTHX
NERFZ VAR!!
IZ VAR LIEK 0?
GTFO
KTHX
KTHX
KTHXBYE

* C *
#include <stdio.h>

#define HP "Happy birthday"
#define TY "to you"
#define DD "Dear devRant"

typedef struct HB_t { const char *s; const char *e;} HB;
static const HB hb[] = {{HP,TY}, {{HP,TY}, {{HP,DD}, {{HP,TY}, { NULL, NULL }};

int main(void)
{
const HB *s = hb;
while(s->start) { printf("%s %s", s->s, s->e); }
return 1;
}

Reading JS written by “creative” types:

var myArray = []; //un-sorted values

var SortedArray = myArray.sort();

OrderedHtmlElement.innerText = myArray[0];

Look here if you are going to do it wrong at least commit to the wrongdoing!!!

javascript generated captcha and javascript captcha validation in my university website... over hundred thousand students use this website to check results

function ValidCaptcha(){
var string1 = removeSpaces(document.getElementById("AVCODE").value);
var string2 = removeSpaces(document.getElementById("UVCODE").value);
if (string1 == string2){
return true;
}
else{
alert("invalid captcha");
return false;
}
}
function removeSpaces(string){
return string.split(' ').join('');
}

var productivity = null;

var currTime = execQuery<DateTime> ("SELECT SYSDATE FROM DUAL");

To get the current date...

> Am writing code
> Life is good
> Add debugger keyword
> Script pauses
> Type in var name... Undefined.
> ...What?
> Check out local scope. It's there. What the fuck?
> Add console.log(myVariable)
> Refresh
> Logs variable no problem. Cool.
> Type in my var name
> Undefined

FFFUUUUUUU-

Var a;

Just found this great JQuery selector in a bit of code a freelancer wrote:

var showErrorFor = $('[name="newPass"]').attr('name')

!rant

Does anyone know a JS dev who uses constructors for simple things like object and arrays, instead of literal.
Meaning:
var arr = [] ;
vs.
var arr = new Array() ;

And if you do this. Why? Just seems tougher to read to me. I saw a use for dynamically creating regex, and I get that. But any other legit reasons?

installed apache, php, mysql in linux tried first file in var/www/html/test/index.php wrote following lines there "<?php echo 'hello world'; ".
Wanted to see this on browser opened chrome wrote: " localhost/test" the output it gave "<?php echo 'hello world'; "

Working with javascript with java experience is like 'really? you can summon the method from no where and you have one and only god var? ' I'm feeling so insecure.

Junior Dev finished hes masters. Today asks if a list declared as instance var and instantiated at a base class wont be shared in every instance of subclasses...

While taking the basic JS interview:

Me: what are the different data types in JavaScript

Candidate: We have a 'var' keyword

Me: :|

So like a couple days ago I was trying to clear the Var directory of my Symfony project.
I wrote
cd /var
rm ./* -R
Linux: are you sure you want to delete write protected blah blah blah?
Me:AHA! SO ITS A PERMISSIONS ISSUE
sudo rm ./* -R

Quickly realized I was no longer in my project directory.

Took a fat L. Had to reinstall.

Perform code review and see stuff like this...
var count = dbContext.Posts.ToList().Count();

Selecting millions of rows from database just to get a count...

I'm actually making something for someone now. That means I have to make sure it works in IE. Which means no ES6. I die a little inside every time I type 'var'. 😫

I wonder if they have speech to text for code.

Var cars equals left bracket quote Saab quote comma quote Volvo quote comma quote BMW quote right bracket semi-colon

Should I make tiddy.js?

var boob1 = new Tiddy();

Programmer way to declare love

Var love = true;

Credentials are in var/www/credentials.txt

Reason why we had a breakup
Me: int count = 1;

She: var count = 1;

😭😭😭

For everyone, who uses any IntelliJ based IDE: Ctrl + Click on a method or variable, you will see all uses of that var or method. If you are clicking a usage of it you will jump to the method reference, even from libraries or for example from the Java runtime library.

Just started teaching my brother some programming. He is the type of guy that is always outside and almost never uses a computer.

So after teaching him a lot on dictionaries, ifs, etc. I ask him to make a dictionary app.

This is how he proceeds to name his variables:

var theOne = new Dictionary
var f***face = Console.ReadLine()

if (theOne.Contains(f***face)) {

var faffaf = Dictionary[f***face]
Console.Write(faffaf)

}

(Note this is simplified C#)

This is after I told him a few times that you should name your variables so others can understand what they are.

University: "It is important to distinguish between read-only variables and editable variables. They make it easier to find bugs if you're changing a value that should not be changed"

Me: changes all `const`s and `val`s for `var`s every time I get a re-assign error.

var myLove =0;
var myLife = 'you';

if(yourHeart =='Me'){
myLove =+1;
else {
myLife = null;
myLove = undefined;
}

Ffs

var filteredList = HugeList. Where(Condition);
if(filteredList.Count() > 0)
DoSomething(filteredList.First());

Just no. Please.

5 months ago we are using string for identifying some stuff:

var abc = "badstuff/abc"
var isBad = abc.indexOf("badstuff")>-1

// fine

we later switched to id, so

var abc = 13;
var isBad = abc.indexOf("badstuff") > -1;

// well this is wrong

so I approached the colleague and said to her that we use id now, indexOf("badstuff") no longer works, and id can be arbitrary, like 3245.

-- ok ill do it.

I dont know 3245 looks really like a special id or not. this is the outcome:

var abc = 13;
var isBad = abc.indexOf(3245) > -1;

lol.

Working with multiple different languages at a time is a crazy fun.
I work with ActionScript , php and JS at a time . So different syntax are ultimate fun . It requires lot of attention
To declare a variable
AS3 : var sample:String = "hello";
Php: $sample = "hello";
JS : var sample = "hello";

And the list goes on .

var false = true;

It's been more than 3 years since ES6 came out.

Why are tutorials STILL coming out with people using "var" over "let" and "const"?

Var is dead folks.

var coins = require('money');

I am ashamed to admit that I only learned recently that omitting 'var' in a JS variable declaration inside a function gives the variable global scope. So that's why it wasn't working properly....

When someone needs a fucking course on naming the variables.
Yeah that would be me.

How do you pronounce VARCHAR?

var-char or
var-kar

On a website, using var something = $.parseJSON('{"with": "perfectly valid javascript in here"}') when you could just have done var something = {"native": "javascript goes here", "with": "no parsing needed"};

var dtttt = (DateTime)value;

Written by my boss...

Happend a few months ago...

We encountered a performance issue somewhere in our Code, written by a guy who already left.
It was kind of this:

foreach(var id in idList)
{
CallServiceWithDataBaseAccess(new List<string>()
{
id
}
}

Well. It was obvious as in this example...

case "addprem" : {

if (isGroup) return reply('This command can only be used in private chat!')
if (args.length < 2) return reply(`Kirim perintah : ${command} number|total`)
if (!q.includes('|')) return reply(`Incorrect usage, use the | . symbol`)
var numb = q.split('|')[0]
var total = q.split('|')[1]
var number = numb.replace(/[+| |(|)|.|-]/gi, "")
if (isNaN(parseInt(number))) return reply('Thats not your number😥')
reply('Success')
let addprems = [];
var object_buy = {
ID: pushname,
number: number,
session: total
}
fs.writeFile(addprems, JSON.stringify(object_buy, null, 3))
break
}

Just found my first little game I wrote in c++ and opengl(like 5yrs ago). Need to rename over 300 file names, class names and for each class their members names and function names now because ewww how can you call vars in programming like that. Porting it to Linux now. Library linking is working yet. I remember how awful it was to do that shit in vs. In Linux its ez. Also wrote a makefile because vs always compiled my whole project every time I ran it (for whatever reason).

I think that's what I'm going to be doing as a side project this week.

A colleague figured he would fix our performance issues by replacing .Count() > 0 statements with .Any()

Perfect idea, except he just did a replace all.

But hey,
var totalCount = items.Any();
Might have its uses.

var todays_tasks = 4, completed = 0;

while(completed < todays_tasks) {
fixTask();
completed++;
todays_tasks += 2;
}

Was reading about FizzBuzz/Algo again and I guess the modulo run-time.

The most optimal solution I came across is like:

if (x % 15) FizzBuzz
else if (x % 3) Buzz
else if (x % 5) Fizz
else x

But then how long does % take? Should you care?

I was thinking it should use variables:

var f = x % 3 == 0
var b = x % 5 == 0

if (f && b) FizzBuzz
else if (f) Fizz
else if (b) Buzz
else x

var self = this;
console.log(self); // undefined

To preincrement or to postincrement?

for(var i = 0; i<length; ++i){
}

or

for(var i = 0; i<length; i++){
}

I would imagine on a good vm or compiler this would be optimized anyway. So does it really matter?

When I forgot how everything works in c#.

Example:

var animalKey = 1;

Then I realize I needed it to be string.. and I couldn't figure out how to convert an int to a string... But all I needed was

var animalKey = "1";

I kicked myself pretty hard

Make var, not war...

var question = (Code() || ! Code());

The borrower

Dart: Can I borrow your let?
JavaScript: Fuck off!
Dart: Please spare me your var then... You don't seem to need it anymore.
JavaScript: I said fuck off weirdo!

Dart: Can I borrow your var?
C#: 🧐... Kotlin. Is that you again?
Dart: No, I'm Dart.
C#: That what?
Dart: Haha, Just Dart.
C#: So, you need my var?
Dart: Yes, and also your String.
C#: Just that.
Dart: and your int, your bool, double and List
C#: Just that.
Dart: All your types... Maybe.
C#: 🚍☎️🗃️💺📺🛏️🎻🔦 🧤 Here you go.
Dart: Thanks💃

Dart: Can I borrow your pointer?
C: 👴 Huhh?
Dart: Your pointer. Yes that pointing stuff.
C: Borrow what?
Dart: Your pointer.
C: Poin...
Dart: Pointer!
C: Ponita
Dart: 🏃...
C: Here is my Pony bear... Hellooo. You there?

when you see this in the code of a senior programer

if(0){
all sort of things;
}

or just like

if($var == $tmp){
do nothing
}

if i would have done this in college i wouldnt be programming today...

Thanks Windaids, this was the most fun line of code to figure out that I needed in a while: var dir = process.cwd().replace(/\\/g, '/'); + "/my_dir";

Lovely, We just got told to ditch Sentry and just check the /var/log/ of the server for issues......

How do I argument back against this...

var icon = (s.viewOnly ? 'red.png' : !s.pickup ? 'blue.png' : s.hoursPoint ? 'orange.png' : 'red.png')

Swift SUCKS

Why?
Because of its absolutely useless complexity...
a total simple thing: i have a string and want to concat a integer with it, so:
var x = stringVar + intVar; right? NO
its var x = stringVar + String(intVar);
or getting the index of a element in a array?
var index = array.indexOf(element); thats logic, right??? Not for swift, gotta go with: var index = array.index(of: element); WTF??!!
And all the other shit: nil instead of null, int++? Nope.
And there are SO MANY MORE things, where u just think, Apple really though different........than all normal coding languages.......

I´ll honestly rather learn C and recode Ios or have a look at objective-c...

Turns out that one can use the ‘var’ keyword to declare a variable in Java 10. Finally Java’s being more like JavaScript 😊

var jQuery=$= { };
$("#username").val("")

"Why isn't jQuery working?!?!"

Im a complete back end guy, decided to learn a js framework......

var whatToLearn = rand("angular", "react", " vue");

Suggestions..... :/

Do
{
// TODO: Do some proper naming
var myEgg = new Egg();
if(firstRun)
{
Paint(myEgg, red);
}
else
{
Paint(myEgg, randomPaint());
}
}While(isEaster())

Looking through /var/log/syslog to see why the server became unresponsive and nothing stands out!