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What. The. Fuck. Did. Just. Happen.
A random girl followed me on social media. She looked nice and intelligent so I followed her back.
Started to chat about some random stuff. She told me she works at the HR department of an international company and asked me what's my job. Told her I'm a software developer.
Right after that she sent me a selfie. Obviously I said she looks nice, she thanked it and asked some more about my job. After a short discussion I received another selfie but somewhere in between she lost the outer layer of her clothing.
She still looks nice but now I'm sitting here utterly confused and cant tell whether it was my sarcastic humour and moderately handsome facial features which charmed her or she just needs to recruit someone for a new project and willing to do everything to reach the quota.67 -
TL;DR: Teacher wants to invest in my company 😲
So, just this morning as I headed to class (still in school, 17 years old, from Germany) someone tapped me from behind - a female teacher whom I've only seen a few times (She is a really nice and friendly teacher who teaches economics)
She asked me: Aren't you the young businessman? I've seen your interview, fantastic! (Background info: I recently founded my second firm (Webdevelopment, Design and Marketing) and was quite often in the media (local newspaper, television, radio))
Quite unsure, I responded: "yeah, right".
Promptly she asked: "Is there some way I can invest in your company? Perhaps in stocks?" (Of course we can't offer stocks, we're just a small local company lol)
Me: "There always is a way I guess?" (I was extremely grateful but didn't know how to respond)
Her: "Great! Would you mind sending me an email with your contact info?"
What the fuck just happened. 😂15 -
!rant
Worked all day and got my embedded systems project working the first time! Bluetooth as well! 😁
It's a Fitbit clone that keeps track of steps that I did from scratch and writing the companion app from scratch as well in flutter/dart. Ask any questions if you're curious!
35 -
Me : We have 3 guys , 850 hours of content to develop, and you want this by mid Feb...
Account Manager : Yes
Me: ... (Doing math in head)..
Account Manager : This has to happen , what do we need to MAKE THIS HAPPEN..
Me: A time machine....
- awkward silence -10 -
!dev
Just found out my house's heating system relies on this. A button, being held down by a bolt held by a zip tie. Who in their right mind looked at this, was like "this is fine" and left it there.
My dad, apparently.
10 -
*Stages of debugging*
1. That can't happen.
2. That doesn't happen on my machine
3. That shouldn't happen.
4. Why does that happen?
5. Oh, I see.
6. How did that ever work?3 -
Six stages of debugging:
1. That can't happen?
2. That doesn't happen on my machine?
3. That shouldn't happen?
4. Why does that happen?
5. OH, I SEE!
6. How did that ever work?1 -
That moment when the client is actually happy with your design. From the beginning.
And requests no changes.6 -
Well apparently my compression algorithm actually made the file bigger. Back to the drawing board I guess?8
-
The six stages of debugging:
* That can’t happen.
* That doesn’t happen on my machine.
* That shouldn’t happen.
* Why does that happen?
* Oh, I see.
* How did that ever work? -
Here's my setup. I don't want to remove my laptop to take outside, unfortunately. So, ain't gonna happen.
19 -
Ok something went wrong.
I don't know how this could happen.
🤔 🤔 🤔 🤔 🤔 🤔
I finished a side project.
How could this happen?
🤔 🤔 🤔 🤔 🤔
Ahh I know. It is absolutely useless.13 -
This is why people should use Linux. I'll never understand why people use Windows in commercial environments, because things like this always happen.
12 -
Friend: you really should give Windows another chance, it's really not that bad.
Me: are you in possession of the only Windows computer that doesn't blue screen whenever there's a strong breeze outside?
Friend: No ... That does happen every now and then.
Me: So what's great about it then?
Friend: Look at this cool wallpaper, it's a slideshow of pictures of my kids.
Me: ... stop talking to me immediately ... and sit over there.12 -
I actually completed a personal project with proper documentation and published it on GitHub. That doesn't happen too often!12
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I always thought that this could only happen with big orgs with precious data. One of my coworkers sent me this last night
10 -
After a month of developing for VR I Shattered a light bulb by punching it as hard as I could.
Knew it would happen.
Surprised it didn't happen sooner.1 -
try {
…..
} catch {
// this would never happen
}
and then it happened
fucking always print something when you catch exceptions15 -
Every year my team runs an award ceremony during which people win “awards” for mistakes throughout the year. This years was quite good.
The integration partner award- one of our sysAdmins was talking with a partner from another company over Skype and was having some issues with azure. He intended to send me a small rant but instead sent “fucking azure can go fuck itself, won’t let me update to managed disks from a vhd built on unmanaged” to our jv partner.
Sysadmin wannabe award (mine)- ran “Sudo chmod -R 700 /“ on one of our dev systems then had to spend the next day trying to fix it 😓
The ain’t no sanity clause award - someone ran a massive update query on a prod database without a where clause
The dba wannabe award - one of our support guys was clearing out a prod dB server to make some disk space and accidentally deleted one of the databases devices bringing it down.
The open source community award - one of the devs had been messing about with an apache proxy on a prod web server and it ended up as part of a botnet
There were others but I can’t remember them all4 -
I hate that, not only did this error happen, but they weren’t smart enough to hide the MySQL stack trace
13 -
A tip to tech folks from my personal xp.
If you fuck up and make an impacting mistake in your company, like taking PROD down, noone is going to fire you on spot. Assign some more mandatory trainings - maybe. So you'd be more careful next time.
See, it's not worth getting rid of someone who made a mistake. You should be seated down and insisted to fix it. If you don't - then they might consider firing it. If you do fix it [with help or alone] - you become a more valuable asset to the company as you prove you are responsible for your actions and you take it seriously. You show that you can clean up your own shit and you don't need a babysiter next to you.
If you simply make a mistake and they replace you with someone else, that someone else is likely to be unaware of your mistakes and is doomed to repeat them. It's just bad for business.
Ofc if you making mistakes becomes a tendency rather than an exception, it's also a red flag for the business.
Don't get too laxed! And always answer for your shit. Never hide a fuckup - always alarm about it asap so that corrective actions could be taken by respective organs of the company while you are fixing it.
Come up with an action plan, announce it. Estimate resources you need [like help from others] - announce that too. Update concerned parties every half an hour or so about the status. If you find you need anything else while fixing it or you come across some blockers/delays/change of impact - always announce asap. Do avoid false alarms and disinformation.
// inspired by someone's rant today7 -
It officially happened...
Accidentally used rm -rf /*
(Actual command was a bit more involved, but it did pretty much the same thing)
Laptop doesn't boot now. Saved my home directory though.
Hooray.5 -
THE RULES OF TECHNICAL SUPPORT
Rule #1: The Customer Lies
Rule #2: Rule #1 still applies when the customer is your coworker
Rule #3: Customers following instructions is like characters dying in a movie: if it didn't happen on-screen, it didn't happen.1 -
John: You know, I don't appreciate it when I run the application and it crashes on me. Especially when you say it's working. If you say you've debugged it and got it working, I shouldn't be able to break it in the first 2 minutes.
--------------------------
me: You know John, with all due respect, there are two ways that this can go. Either we can actually work on this project as a team and get something done, or I can leave and have you flounder on your own trying to complete the rest of this project for the next 4 months. Now, I know that you don't have a lot of experience in this framework, so that means you owe me the respect I deserve and not complain about the way things are getting done.
--------------------------
Me: Ok, John, I'll fix it.1 -
The division between chilling and working is absolutely gone when both happen in the same exact space.12
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30 min figuring out what happen to my code. And realize that = is used in if statement instead of ==.
Thanks brain8 -
Windows hardware troubleshooter just fixed the touchscreen on my tablet. I guess miracles do happen sometimes3
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You know this isn't going to happen ,I know that this isn't going to happen but still, we can dream and fantasies about it ha ha ha fuckking bullshit
11 -
My Task: Create a new application in a custom C#-Framework, to replace screens from the old application.
Me:Fine.
The old application has a Java Frontend.
Me:Fine.
The old application has an Oracle-DB.
Me:Fine.
The old application has its logic fully on the DB.
Me:What ??
You cannot connect to the DB via ODBC.
Me:But why ???
You cannot use external libraries, just our framework.
Me: For what are you thinking i can use to call the functions on the DB
You have to use a custom connection-bus which uses JDBC
Me:Fine.
This connection-bus cannot call SQL Statements and return the result.
Me:WTF, how should i get the data out of the Database ?
We don't know find a way.
Me:Ahh fuck off.3 -
Dropbox doesn't know my device lol
I wonder what would happen if I did rename my phone to: $(device_name)
3 -
Else if, elif, elseif, if else garrgghj. I can never remember what it is in whatever language I happen to use...13
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Pushed code remotely and told a teammate to run it on the target hardware. He then told me he might of blown up $6000 worth of equipment. Then he says "Never mind everything works."
World record for biggest heart attack?1 -
didn't think it'd ever happen but I had to talk a client out of having background music on their site 🙄6
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Google Devfest new Delhi 😍😍 !! It was awesome!
I wish I cd meet some ranters there...sigh...that didn't happen.
13 -
Why does this happen?
Whenever I begin with my exams, I think more about Code and Programming!!
😑😑😑5 -
Government website sends me my username and password over plain text email after I sign up...
WHAT WHY WHO LET THIS HAPPEN6 -
don't know if it's fake or not. I don't use twitter, but it looks like something that would happen there
3 -
Guess the developer did not expect this to happen.
Currently over at OpenStreetMaps.org (I requested a map for download)
1 -
How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
I’ve got no where to run
The night goes on
As I’m fading away
I’m sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me
6 -
We decide to joke around with building stuff
We happen to name our Scaleway Server "Chitoge"
shit went down from there
3 -
Wanted to find out a particular change of my gitlab-ci.yml file from commit history.
I guess that's not gonna happen anytime soon.
1 -
any TV series i start, i have to finish it before i do anything else.
does it happen with every one here...1 -
My matryoshka keeping me company, because of course when you are alone testing a last hour deployment. shit will happen
5 -
"Did you get it?"
"Yes. I GIT it"
* Silence *
"Oh. What were you saying?"
Things that happen when I'm coding. -
Maybe not exactly what would happen, but not wrong either. At the end of the day, these two fields are different.
6 -
A government website that I wanted to try and scrape data from to make a better app, I've actually found to be the pinnacle of a demonstration of what NOT to do...
Containing a JavaScript file that not only had got code copied 3 times (changed the tiniest bit on each) for what environment it's on, but has ALSO got the API keys for all 3 environments, AND the APIs they've made it call from there pass FULL SQL right in the query string...
What. The. Actual. Fuck?!5 -
I just want to throw out there for Javascript developers, async and await are the two best things to ever happen to promises.3
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Ability to handle context switching (jumping between tasks and interruptions) like it didn't even happen.2
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Only just noticed that CSS has variables - when the fuck did this happen and where the hell was I when it did!!!!6
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Me: *pushes up code that should stop bad thing from happening*
Bad thing: *doesnt happen for a few hours*
Is..is it good??? Did i fix it????? Or does the thing just randomly not happen right now??????? We will never know.6 -
Famous developer sentences #1:
"I leave it like that for now and refactor it later"
It will definitely never going to happen! ;)3 -
This is the best thing that could happen for people with headaches in relation to updates. Anniversary update brings more control.
10 -
I hate it when everything goes well, but when I start doing demo in front on my boss, disasters happen!!!3
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As the outrage surrounding Facebook burns on though the night, Google continues to happen and nobody bats an eyelid...3
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On call sucks, specially when you're in EU and all the customers are US so if issues happen you're probably asleep4
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Axiom of dev epiphanies: they always happen when you don't have immediate access to your workstation
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Anyone happen to know any markup language for generating HTML? It should be simple to use, but more layout oriented than markdown8
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Talk about scaremongering. This is the best thing to happen in the academic community in eons.
https://bbc.co.uk/news/...9 -
I am glad that I usually include comments, which make me smile years later...
What are your best findings when you look at your old code?
something like:
// having any and all at the same hierarchy is not valid (and stupid)
someMistakeDeep: 1 // deep fail
// TODO: find out, why the cache is behaving like this. And fix it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
or my all time favorite comments
// this should not happen.
// wat?
or testing emails like
- tldsAreNotCheckedBTW@something.idontthinkthisdoesexist
- nonValidEmail.com
or urls...
- ProtocolMissing.com
- www.stillNoProtocol.com
And when I'm out of ideas, something like this
messageContent: 'Bla Bla Bla. Exception in FS on Host https://w.com/hpsa',
{ SmsVerb: 'randomVerb' }, // unknown Attribute5 -
The six stages of debugging:
1. That can't happen.
2. That doesn't happen on my machine.
3. That shouldn't happen.
4. Why does that happen?
5. Oh, I see.
6. How did that ever work?1 -
My mate just pen-testing on running production server using admin credential.
Guess what happen!
And no backup!
What a day!2 -
i have adopted rust in my hobby projects. very happy, i feel like i can correctly make things happen.3
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Have you ever wished something frustrating or disgusting may happen to you so that you can quickly rant about it on devrant?1
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I wish for a girlfriend that knows how to code and play games. If it will happen it will be so much fun!!!10
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!rant
What will happen to programmers/developers now days if there's no search engine/internet connection?9 -
Say that he's building a landing page and delete the entire root directory of the website. I didn't see it happen... But still...
-
I wonder what would happen if someone trains a chat-bot based on Posts and Comments on Devrant? a Psychopathic Chatbot?3
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So today i had to visit this banks site to do updation on a document but for some reason the modal dialogue that was supposed to open was not working and i couldn't continue to next step.
On an attempt to contact customer support, i browsed the site for relevant details. As i do that, i observed this site is so shitty that it can't even properly render on Google Chrome! It was an horrific experience finding info in that site.
Finally found the customer support form and as I clicked the "submit" it didn't give any feedback whether it was processing or not. After like over a minute of uncertainty, it got redirected to a 404 page.
Frustrated, I went on to their twitter and I almost tweeted calling out their terrible web developer team.
But, my instinct told me to calm my titties and i tweeted a regular confused user tweet.
Got their attention and few hrs later i got a phone call from someone working there. He didn't sound like a customer service representative from the way he spoke. He told it was an issue with their website and had fixed it. I tried again as he was on the line but it was not working for me. And then i shared screenshot of the issue. He tested it again and said it was working for them. Still not working for me. ( Probably cache issue on my end ). Thought he would suggest to clear cache and try. But he asked me to try on another computer since it was working for him.
As i searched for a another system, i got a call from customer support guy and he said he will do the update on their end and told me to tell details. Since the info was not that sensitive in nature, I went with it.
Pretty sure the other guy i talked to was a developer.
This made me think - had i tweeted out a mean tweet calling out their shitty website it would have been probably awkward talking to him - I'd have to be mean again. It could've ruined his day, maybe he was under pressure from his pm that he had to make the phone call. He probably hates his job already managing that shitty legacy code..
I don't know - either way, I'm glad i was able to keep myself calm and not be a source of negative energy. -
Decided to reset my Windows OS after 1.5 years. Such things happen when you're not in the mood to code.1
-
Typing strange text on a computer and making things happen.
Magic!
My sister always gets amazed by all the wizardry. -
There is a lot of concerns about Apple rejecting hybrid apps in near future. What do you think? Will that happen?13
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Just arrived love from NY and know London loves you back.
David and Tim, thanks for making devRant happen... this is awesome.
1 -
TIFU by running DELETE-INSERT on a live server and losing thousands of rows from a separate table. 🤤
TIL If you delete data from indexed table, it will affect any linked tables. I think. Fml. 🤕
At least it was a learning experience for all of us. Hopefully if I keep repeating it enough it will become true...3 -
For the first time in my career, I have a specific job to aspire to, and a stack of books to read and certifications to garner to make it happen.
I think 2 years is a perfectly achievable timeline to make it happen.1 -
This is something that I hadn't done or that directly impacted me, but that had an effect in my life several years after it happened.
It's one of those stories that you think "this only happens to others", and then someday you're the "others".
So when I was born, I was, naturally, registered on the health care system. My parents chose an uncommon name for me (uncommon in my country) so I think I wasn't registered by the time of my birth, but 4 months later when all the bureaucratic crap came to an end (long story short, the guy that was there when it started died and my parents had to wait 4 months for another person to be appointed). So, when my parents finally went to register me, apparently, for some reason, the computer took my name and assumed it was a male name. As I've said, my name is uncommon in my country, there're probably 3 or 4 people with the same name here in Portugal.
Why did the computer assume it was a male name AND why didn't nobody check that? Since my parents had to ask to government entities to let them name me that name, I'm assuming it wasn't in their db. So why did it assume male? Was it purposely programmed that, by default, all "newly-registered" names were to be male? Was it random? Who the hell knows.
And how did nobody check that, every time I went to take vaccines? I don't think anyone told my mom that everytime we went there that the data was wrong, otherwise the situation wouldn't have lasted for 14 years.
We only knew about that mishap when it was time I had to take vaccines specifically for women and that I wasn't being noticed of it even though a friend 1y younger than me had already taken hers.
I find this story amusing but now that I started thinking about how it came to life (no pun intended) I'm actually a bit pissed off about how they didn't think of uncommon names and that how that could affect their registry in the system. They could have - IDK - placed "undefined" in that field so that it would caught the register's attention.
Moral of the story: don't assume stuff :v1 -
The struggle of startup founders
You: Ask the right question at the right moment
Also you: I don't care just make it happen -
Received insider information about my magazine. Two possible things cab happen tomorrow:
- I wake up tomorrow and we go through our first meeting of the year (general meeting happen three times a year) and everything is fine
- I wake up tomorrow as the new editor for my section but at the cost of my closest friend leaving the magazine.2 -
Basic requirement of every Data Science college internship:
1) 2-3 years of experience... God damn it
2) Research and publications...(yeah right! in 2 years of college in which you taught me how to "work with" C on Turbo-C... I should have god damn publications... Well worked my ass on and have 2, but guess what campus internships says.. " no fucks given man", solve those damn segment tree question first then we will talk)
Its an infinite recursive while loop
FML -
New LTS version? Why not upgrading? For sure you'll update your server in an hour, what could happen?1
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"Oh I knew they'd say that it's why I didn't get them to test it "
Did these words really just come out of your mouth? Who the fuck left you in charge of planning this shit?
Some team manager requested dev work it got approved and done standard. However they knew from the get go their team would rip it apart so when it came to the testing phase did he get his team to use it?
No he pulled fucking random people from other teams who don't use this feature at all in their day to day to test and sign it off.
Sod your vision mate. Our team just lost two months of work your team's productivity has dropped because you had a picture of how things should be but didn't want to be told no. And for a fucking valid reason your method is shit.
Don't think he'll be left in charge of a project anytime soon. -
Never realize how much you hate yourself until you dive into code on an old project.
Damn comments that mean nothing 😣2 -
I think someday, I'd like to make an app that can somehow punish asshole drivers. I want this app to severely discourage douchebaggery on the road. Not sure how I can make that happen, but it needs to happen.3
-
Just fuck the layout preview render errors that randomly happen almost every day and have to restart the fucking IDE.
Just fuck man. -
Friday/End of the day!
I think is time to push to production!
nothing is gonna happen, noone will call me 🙏2 -
First Nvidia drivers problem on Linux in 5 years. Due to multiarch (32bit executable, 64bit drivers). Had to happen in a rush.1
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This morning, I realized that my most productive moments for work usually happen at home, working overtime. :/
-
Hey!
How many of you guys think Flutter is the best thing to happen in the history of apps development so far?8 -
Other than these "recruiting companies" from India who happen to know my name but can't pronounce the city I live in?
-
Got a high priority project that requires 100% my attention for 16 hours to get it out before start of next work day. Nobody even opened it for a week. 5 mins after the first person opened it, got an email saying that it isn't right and it needs to be corrected before Monday...2
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PM: let's show customer the new feature while it's still in the develop branch
Me: no fucking way this could ever happen -
When TypeScript gets on your nerves so badly you find yourself considering switching to Python…
… is something I never thought would actually happen.3 -
petition to bad anyone to posts a tik tok on devRant
i feel like it's almost inevitably going to happen. please god no5 -
When Facebook login randomly starts failing after several months of no problems. Why do these things happen to me?1
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TFW when errors like this happen while trying to buy a laptop online from one of the biggest tech companies in the world.
1 -
My devrant went Japanese suddenly, well both English and Japanese, happen to anyone else? Is it some promo?16
-
I smell McDonald's cheeseburgers.
Not just any cheeseburgers.... The same smell from the 1980s.
Does this happen to anyone else?9 -
Got up with a pretty bad hangover. The worst thing that could happen was GitHub getting acquired by Microsoft. Is this for real?2
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Worst part of being a dev?? Having to recompile just because of an error which isnt supposted to happen
-
Permissions service that allows users completely unknown to the system full access.
If you happen to be a known user, but just happen to hate being restricted, just remove the connection configuration on the client side, you get full permissions anyway. -
yesterday was my defense, and i only wrote 1 limitation of my proposed project. what happen? A crispy pizza HAHAHAHA1
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Wtf do some tests before releasing your software! Changing /tmp permissions to 600 is not supposed to happen you i***t!4
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Im doing a project for science as what would happen if a person went on an anorexic diet for a month suddenly.3
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When you work for a small company that wants to automate a complex process with virtually no planning, when you ask for feedback on your progress and get "it's great" as an answer.
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