Everyone here ranting about a fucking missing semicolon. I can't remember the last time a missing semicolon was the issue...

You wanna know what's REALLY BALL-BUSTING????

WHEN THE FUCKING 10 y/o LEGACY CODEBASE, CODED BY FUCKING PHP WORDPRESS SCRIPTERS WHO THOUGHT THEY COULD BUILD AN ENTERPRISE SHIT CAUSE ZF2 "LOOKS EASY" AND THEN FILL IT UP WITH SPAGHETTI, IS SO BAD WRITTEN THAT IN ORDER FOR THE PAGE TO RENDER YOU ACTUALLY ****HAVE**** TO DISABLE ERROR REPORTING SO WHENEVER A FUCKING ERROR HAPPENS ON THE TEMPLATE RENDER COMPONENT OF ZEND FRAMESHIT 2, YOU'RE LEFT WITH A FUCKING BLANK PAGE AND NOTHING IS LOGGED TO THE LOG FILE, SO YOUR ONLY OPTION IS DIE() DEBUGGING LINE BY LINE ON THE 1300 LINES PHTML FUCKFEST OF A VIEW THEY HAVE.

MISSING SEMICOLON? YES PLEASE, GIVE ME MORE OF THAT SHIT

Ladies and Gentlemen,

I present you the API I'm working with...

That's a pretty fucking useful error description right there.

People who send an email saying "I'm getting an error message".

WHERE DID YOU GET IT?!

WHAT IS THE FUCKING ERROR MESSAGE?!

OH NO SURE LET ME LOOK IN MY CRYSTAL BALL, I'LL HAVE IT FIGURED OUT FOR YOU IN NO FUCKING TIME.

😡

So this fucking happened today.

Me: *sees support ticket coming in about some kind of login issue*

Me: *opens issue*

"Hello, I can't seem to login. There's an error"

Me: *sighs and thinks "at least give me that FUCKING error message then." *kindly replies with asking if they could send me the error message*

"Here it is. I don't understand what is going wrong
and what I have to do"

Me: *looks at error message*

"Invalid customer ID. Please make sure that your ID is correct. You can find it in the activation email we sent you when you registered".

😐 😶 😦

Me: *thinking okay what the fuck, are you fucking retarded or something?*

Me: *kindly replies: "It seems that you are not using the correct customer ID. You might want to look for it in the activation email we sent you!"*

"Oh okay thanks, how did you figure that out?"

Me: 😵 😐 😶 😭 🔫

Seriously what the actual fucking fuck.

Facts.

Dear self proclaimed wordpress 'developers/programmers', kindly go fuck yourself.

I'm not talking about wordpress devs/designers who don't claim to have a better skillset than they have and are actually willing to learn, those are very much fine.

I'm talking about those wordpress people who claim that they're developers, programmers or whatever kind of bullshit which they're obviously not.

"A client's site crashed, you have to fix it!!!!!" sorry, come again? It's YOUR client's site. It's hosted on our hosting platform meaning that WE are responsible for KEEPING THE SERVERS UP AND FUNCTIONING.
You call yourself a wordpress 'developer' with 'programming experience' for 10 years but the second one of your shitty sites crashes, you come to us because 'it's your responsibility!!!'.
No, it's not. Next to that fact, the fact that you have to ask US why the site is crashing while you could easily login to your control panel, go to the fucking error logs and see that one of your facebook plugins crashes with a quite English error message, shows me that you definitely don't have 10 years of programming experience. And if you can't find that fucking article which tells you exactly where the motherfucking error logs are, don't come crying to us asking to fix your own fucking bullshit.

"My clients site got hacked, you have to clean it up and get it online again ASAP!!!!" - Nah, sorry, not my responsibility. The fact that you explicitly put your wordpress installation on 'no automatic updates' also doesn't help with my urge to fucking end you right now.
Add to that that we have some quite clear articles on wordpress security which you appearantly found too difficult (really? basic shit like 'set a strong fucking password' is too difficult for you?), you're on your own.

"I'm getting an error, please explain what's going wrong as soon as you can! this is a prio 1!!!!" - Nope. You were a wordpress dev/programmer right? Please act like one.

I'm not your personal wordpress agent.

I'm not your personal hacked wordpress site cleanup guy.

I'm not even a fucking wordpress professional. No, I'd rather jump off a bridge than develop wordpress bullshit for a living.

That you chose to do this, not a problem. Just don't rely on me for fixing your shit.

I'm sick of cleaning up your bullshit.

I'm done with answering your high prio tickets about bullshit which any dev could find out with just a few minutes of searching.

Oh your wordpress site isn't showing up so high in google? Yeah sure, shoot a ticket at us blaming us for your own SEO mess. I'm a fucking sysadmin, not a SEO expert.

I'm fucking done with you.

Go die in a fucking corner.

She is right

Pro tip to error messages #1: keep them simple and short

Pro tip to error messages #2: make them make FUCKING SENSE

To all/any client(s) who send in an error message:

SEND IT IN FUCKING ENGLISH.

Thank you.

Installs 45gb game

Next day do an update - not enough storage

Sees 28gb free on disk

Googles

Turns out steam copies your entire game during an update so it can roll back of there's an error

Fucking brilliant.

Fuck off with your shit ass semicolon jokes. You searched for semicolon for 4days? Fucking retard with a sack of balls instead of eyes can understand that he's missing a semicolon in matter of seconds. It's going to be 2018 soon. Get a fucking IDE that says that you are missing a fucking semicolon. The error literally fucking says "; expected at the end of expression". Ugh...? I wonder what that means... Maybe something is wrong with my operating system or my PC. Fuck off with that shit. Try debugging some systems that have 2files with 15k lines in each of them with 200fields and all of them strings both with empty default constructors. Semicolons... My ass..

Motherfucker.

After about six hours of debugging I finally figured out that the error I'm getting is happening CLIENT SIDE AND NOT FUCKING SERVER SIDE. Yes, I've been debugging everything on the SERVER SIDE.

MOTHERFUCKING FUCK.FML.

Look, PHPVirtualbox, i love you and all and you've worked very well for me for ages.

But, when I see the authentication is successful and you receive an 'OK', YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO THROW A FUCKING "USERNAME OR PASSWORD WRONG" ERROR.

YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO LET ME FUCKING THROUGH.

MOTHERFUCKER.

9pm Project Manager: We have to push an update TONIGHT
9.45pm Devs: okay guys, all latest bugs are fixed, just needs final check and we can push the update
10:45pm Devs: Guys?...
11:45pm Guy in charge of testing: Uh doesn't work...
- What doesn't work?
- I dunno, I get an error message
- What's the (fucking) error message?!
Aaaaand silence
Fuck this I'm going to bed.

Tester raises bug:
"Error when loading application in Opera 11.1"

Current Opera version - 48

No tester. Just. Fucking. No

It would be really FUCKING great if NodeJS or mysql could give me a FUCKING shout or ERROR MESSAGE when one of the parameters I'm giving is not the RIGHT FUCKING DATA TYPE INSTEAD OF THROWING A RANDOM ERROR THAT DOESN'T INDICATE A WRONG MOTHERFUCKING DATA TYPE. Five FUCKING hours of debugging later.

I get a call: "Hey the site is down. Fix it!"
Worked on my workstation, not on my phone => DNS issue.

Local cache: "All OK"
ISP's DNS: "No record"
Google DNS: "Server error"
MXToolbox: "All OK"
CloudFlare DNS: "Domain? What domain?"

After a day of fucking around with configs and wanting to strangle the customer support guy, I just started pressing buttons, until suddenly, it worked. Turns out I'd accidentally enabled DNSSEC on a domain, that wasn't configured for it.

Lesson learned: There is no official DNS error code for "DNSSEC failed somewhere upstream". If you're lucky, you might get something useful out of the authoritative server, but apparently not on Mondays.

*creates table in database*
*writes query to retrieve data*
*gets error and Google's problem for 2 hours but no luck*
*in frustration, takes a half hour break*
*checks database for set up issues*
*realizes that the database is the wrong fucking database*
*face palm & quits fucking life*

I make dumb fucking mistakes like this way too much

WHEN DOCKER IMAGE NUMBER TWENTY-MOTHERFUCKING-TRILLION FAILS TO COMPILE /RENDER/WHAT-THE-FUCK-EVER THE GODDAMN DATA WITHOUT PROVIDING SUFFICIENT ERROR/HOWEVER-YOU-FUCKING-CALL-IT DEBUGGING INFORMATION.

I'M DONE. I. AM. SO. FUCKING. DONE.

Completely losing my shit over a 'class Predis\Autoloader already defined' error.

Just noticed that I already created the object five lines up

How fucking retarded am I?! I mean, I've been debugging this for a WHOLE FUCKING HOUR.

Let's just blame it on the alcohol 😅

FUCK YOU! YOU PIECE OF SHIT CLIENT!
I work my ass off for a month and deliver you the best possible design for your problem and a great booking system and you open up a dispute on the order stating the work I received was poor?

GO FUCK YOURSELF :@ :@ :@
Everything is working beautifully, I uploaded it on a test website to even demonstrate it. The only problem is he is getting the error of mysqli class not found on his fucking potato server, that is not my fault! Even then, I am willing to install the php mysqli extension on his dick server so the fucking "script" works.

Some people just need a fucking reason to get away with good work done without having to pay...I will leave freelancing if the dispute ends up in his favour.

Fuck this shit. At least I get confirmed payment for what I work for 8 hours a day if I do a fucking job.

Fuck this fucking sql error for the past 2,5 fucking hours.

I'm so fucking done with this bullshit.

Dear EA games.
If you want to tell me my password needs to be “more” secure in your error message, at least tell the fucking truth about it.

- 100 random character password entered on mobile
- response: password needs to be more secure
- WTf!
- loads on pc
- notices password rules
- must be between 8 and 16 characters...
- I think that’s a Wii little Less secure you ass hats, and WHY can’t you show this fucking notice on mobile 😖

"I want my API to return insults as error messages if they forget shit"

Uh no, I prefer helping them out by writing proper documentation than sending a giftbox with me flipping them off like Linus Fucking Torvalds for their spaghetti usage of your API

Friend: Hey can you check my code, can't seen to find this one error, and i have been trying for hours now.
Me: Just one error?
Friend: Ya, just one. And it i am not in a hurry, check it whenever you can.
Me: *understanding the pain of not finding that one fucking error*
Cool, just send me the code i ll check it tonight.

Later that night i check the code, debugg that error, shit ton of more error pop up.
Me: Well i have solved the one error, now i can just hand over the rest of the code to the guy so he can take care of the rest, its not like i am responsible or aything. HOWEVER, maybe i can solve few more, just for fun, i can't just let this code get the better of me.

*ends up clearing all the error after a lomg night*

Working on adjusting a shell script to my needs.

The fucker quits execution after an apt update command is ran.

No reason, it just fucking quits. No error messages or whatever, nothing.

This script can go suck a cock.

Fuck fucking fuck just spent hours and hours looking why I was getting a fatal error. I overlooked a missing bracket in an SQL query. MOTHERFUCKING FUCK FUCKING FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

Tried to modify a script again which pretty much installs a ready to use vpn server on a server.

Tried to modify it so that it takes arguments instead of manual input.

It is, fucking, yet again, quitting right after an apt install command.

Error exit code? Oh no, a perfectly fine fucking 0. Which means it ran successfully.

Successfully my fucking ass. You aren't even through half the motherfucking script!?

Fucking hell. Fuck my life sideways.

I often alias sudo as "fucking". Therefore if I get an error like

cannot delete . I just type fucking delete .

Tester - The app has a bug when I try to buy a ticket
Me - okay, what's the bug ?
Tester - it shows an error
Me (trying to not high-five him with a chair in the face) - What's the error message?
Tester - ah nvm it works now!!

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuu. Explain the issue you dimwit, don't just say it doesn't fucking work!

Fucking pieces of shit, if I would have a list of developers that add "Whoopsie daisy, tinky winky compiling stuffie" as error messages, installer steps or as a checkbox in their github issues, I'd break their fucking back and keep them alive, just to ram fucking burning nails into their eyelids and then blast just enough power through them to make them burn and evaporate alive.

Installing Ubuntu in VMWare. After the installation, proceeded to install VMWare tools to get the full resolution.

Shitloads of errors. Kernel build failing, gcc exiting with error code other than 0, all the copying failed. At the end of the process the executable says:

Enjoy,

---The VMWare Team

What the fuck am supposed to enjoy? My broken fucking Ubuntu in a VM?

I AM GOING TO PERSONALLY MURDER WHICHEVER SHITBRAINED INCOMPETENT MONKEY THOUGHT IT'D BE A GOOD IDEA TO RESPOND TO ANY AND ALL API ERRORS BY SENDING A RESPONSE WITH THE STATUS CODE 200 AND A BODY OF THE FUCKING STRING "error" AND NOTHING ELSE

WHY?!!?!?!??!

If you're gonna comment a lot or a little, at least be consistent. I just read some code like this:

//prints "are you ready?"
printf("are you ready?");

//get the value
int findVal(int x) {
/* some fucking complex algorithm with no comments whatsoever that seems to have an error messing everything up */
}

Fuck you and your fucking non-specific error messages.

Feeling - Murderous 😡

IPod didn't sync well on my Linux machines so decided to give windows - in a highly isolated environment disconnected from the Internet behind a firewall and sandbox - a shot with itunes.

- during the installation it wouldn't detect the fucking harddrive multiple times (genuine unlicensed copy) and after the 4-5th time it's random-fuckingly recognized out of fucking nowhere; I didn't change shit.
- crashes (blue screen and freezes) multiple times during the installation, multiple retries and suddenly it works(?!)
- it took about 10 minutes (!!!!!!!) to install 10+ drivers for an iPod and an external hdd:
Installing Apple iPod drivers... Done
Installing seagate drivers... Done
Installing apple iPod drivers... Done
Installing seagate drivers... Done
Installing Apple iPod drivers... Done
Installing seagate drivers... Done
Installing Apple iPod drivers... Done
Installing seagate drivers... Done
Installing Apple iPod drivers... Done

WHY INSTALL THOSE FUCKERS 5 FUCKING TIMES?!

- iTunes installation fails multiple times without error code (unknown error occured, restoring to original state...),just said fuck it and clicked the shortcut after the ***th fail and it works just like this, THANKS FOR NOTIFYING ME (NOT)!
- iTunes has to restore the entire ipod, this was done with iTunes in the store I bought it already, thanks for nothing.
-restore takes 30+ minutes?!
-syncs the iPod 3 times afterwards.

*clicks close button*
*are you sure you want to quit? Sync in progress*
*oh shit, cancels*
*itunes quits*
*?!?!?*

*tries to import media library*
*seagate hdd suddenly not detected*

I'm fucking tired of this bullshit, windows and iTunes can go die in a fucking corner after getting ass raped while their genitals are being scraped off layer by fucking layer and dipped into fucking acid.

FUCK PHP!!!
We were trying to go live with a big online shop, it is connected through a crappy API to SAP.
PHP keeps outputting fucking errors because our intern doesn't fucking know how to properly write PHP.

YEAH, JUST FUCKING RETURN A WHOLE DIFFERENT TYPE OF DATA IF THE FUNCTION HAS AN ERROR.

Oh and using fucking strtr( ... ) to insert stuff in a string is REALLY FUCKING 1337...

And when you think the whole fuckery has reached the summit, just look at how HE FUCKING CREATED THE UGLY EMAIL TEMPLATE:
$content .= "UGLY HTML ABOMINATION";
$content .= "MORE UGLY HTML";
$content .= "HTML WITH SPELLING ERRORS";
$content .= "<table>";
$content .= "TEARS OF TIM BERNERS LEE";
$content .= "<table>HE FOGOT THE FUCKING '/'";

and dozens more of these lines...

and the whole piece for ALL 3 FUCKING LANGUAGES...

Thanks for writing the fucking backend stuff, it is better to rewrite the whole piece.

Windows troubleshooting:
- Works on my system, therefore it's not an issue.
- Must be a hardware error.
- Obviously it's just cheap hardware.
- Have you tried turning it off and on again?
- Here's some obscure error code that leads nowhere.
- Have you tried "sfc /scannow"?
AS IF SFC IS A FUCKING SILVER BULLET!!!
- Our Indian support chap from answers.microsoft.com will help you.

RRRREEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!
Solution: quietly weep and reinstall your system.

Linux troubleshooting:
- There are good quality log files.
- You can run the program from the command-line and read both stdout and stderr from it.
- You can usually run the program with high verbosity options to help you track down the error.
- Even daemons can have their commands spawned from a dedicated shell, to see why they failed.
- Usually it's a configuration error and you can easily edit the configuration file.
- More often than not, the program will tell you why it failed.

Solution: usually easy to find.

I fucking love Windows. Because you know, it's so easy to troubleshoot and the support is so great!!!

What is this, windows?? how am i, the software publisher, supposed to change this if you don't bother to give a proper fucking error? whoever created this, i hope you die choking on a goat's intestines

Im so fucking pissed. so in my family (im an only child) im the computer expert. but everytime i touch something EVERYONE THINKS IM GOING TO BREAK IT OR TELL ME I DONT KNOW WHAT IM FUCKING DOING. FUCKING EXCUSE ME?

My mother was bitching about her laptop she uses for college about how something was not working and she was on the phone with a guy that told her "Its a JavaScript error and he told me I have to redownload windows" and im just like "MOm THERE IS NOT A DAMN NEED FOR YOU TO REINSTALL AN OPERATING SYSTEM FOR AN ERROR ON YOUR BROWSERS SIDE OR THE WEBSITES SIDE" (i didnt get to see the error)

I pick up the laptop and unplug it and she yells at me because the IT man told her it wouldnt work if she unplugged it. So i told her im done helping her with all her bullshit she can do what she wants. and comes in says it works now and she doesnt know why. then goes out and buys a new laptop bc she cant process moving her files on the cloud or a flashdrive.

my entire fucking family is like this.

S E N D H E L P .

Whenever I'm trying new tech at work I don't keep interrupting people ta help me with error messages because ITS A FUCKING NEW TECH AND NO ONE WORKS WITH THAT SHIT!

WHY THE FUCK YOU KEEP ASKING ME FOR HELP WITH YOUR FUCKED UP NODE SHIT AFTER I TOLD YOU THAT I DON'T LIKE IT? STOP IT!

Just finished up my first compiler, with accurate extensible error reporting, and the syntax system is generically typed so I can reuse it. Pretty fucking pleased with myself

"Lightweight rant"

Good job, devs of Sparkasse.
Time to "jobn't" y'all.
That error message is very informational.

I know it is because of the time counter being at 0 and I need to relogin to reset it, but what if I was a regular dumb client? To add more salt into it, what if I was someone in his 90s.

Do your fucking job properly.

Edit: The error message translates to "Error", "Error" and "Close"

Finally fixed a major bug.....

FUCK YOU C# AND YOUR FUCKING CASE SENSITIVE BULLSHIT.

DAYS
THAT TOOK FUCKING DAYS AND AT NO POINT DUD VISUAL STUDIO BOTHER TO MENTION THAT FUCKING ERROR.

1 CHARACTER, ON ONE LINE, EFFECTIVELY BROKE THOUSANDS OF LINES OF CODE

fuck this, I quit. See you next time you contact the Microsoft live support chat!

!dev but still rant

So I'm a photocopier technician by day, alcoholic coder by night. Just spent 3 fucking hours trying to diagnose a black line on print outs, checked drums, dev units, toner cartridges, fusing unit, everything...

Called up one of the guys I work with and they said to come back with some samples to try and pin it down...

I turn around to leave and remember I didn't check the transfer belt and lo and behold it isn't cleaning and is smearing the paper...

3 fucking hours to work out such a simple error, I've had program breaking bugs diagnosed and fixed by then... ugh -.-

What is it with this team and the developers it attracts. 2 devs joined and left, both had several years of experience, both couldn’t google an issue to save their lives and needed to be helped 24/7.

Now we are mentoring a PHD student for a piece of his project. Dude was left stumped by an error message that said “Can’t find file at path ...” because the path didn’t exist. He spent a few hours trying to fix it before asking for help.

How, HOW are people getting through college / university without being able to read, or debug such a simple fucking error message

Fucking Edge. I fixed a "bug" and now the bug-pointer tells me a line with only a comment causes a problem. Yea. Genius browser.

It's an "UNKNOWN" error btw, great debugging!

I’ve been programming with other languages than Python for so long that when I finally had to pick up Python to help teach my friend some python I felt like I was rediscovering a past life.

With Python I feel like King Fucking Arthur with the Holy Blade Excalibur, armored up and ready for fucking war.
When I’m writing a script I feel like I’m parrying and piercing my blade straight through that fuckers chest and slam them into the fucking ground. And leave their bleeding out cold dying body on the fucking ground with no hope in their eyes.

Although when an indentation error occurs I feel like I just fucking tripped over a fucking pebble and apparently stairs were nearby and I bash my head on all 1024 steps, get to the bottom to just to get some fucking Java Chad punt my fucking head like a fucking football screaming random reasons to not use python.

It boils my blood when a dev (yes, a dev) says - "Hey could you please check X, I am getting an error."

FUCKING TELL ME WHAT ERROR, YOU TROGLO-FUCKING-DYTE IDIOT SON OF A WHORE

Did someone here partecipate to the International Olympiad of Metropolises in Moscow?
I've been there this year and it was an excellent experience.. If you want it, share your thoughts or impressions!

(Picture of me trying to eat a pen and trying to find every fucking error in my code)

Let's setup my email server again! Found an awesome open source solution which installs it through Ansible.

Now i can't get past a fucking error 😫

Here goes my day :(

For the love of god, I spent 2,5 hours debugging why Minecraft from the windows store doesn't work...

The game just shows a red message telling you it didn't work.

I checked the logs, nothing just warnings

I re-installed the game, nothing, same error

Updated java and all parts of the store, nothing....

Obviously I had to install Something called the "xbox identity Provider"... You know... On a PC... For a distinctly PC game to work... Installed by the store... And the provider is also on the store... But it doesn't auto-install with the game

Ever since you migrated to the Microsoft Auth the login experience is awful (I ranted about that already)

How about you do the bare fucking Minimum of an User experience and Install the fucking dependencies when I re-installed something your fucking store??!!!

The fucking bare minimum that every package manager ever created fucking has as a basic requirement?! Are you kidding me?

Rename your fucking services so they make sense and please don't waste everyone's time by having both shitty logs and no dep management for your own apps... Fucks sake

Now I know for sure that my coworkers can't read error messages.

Every fucking time git doesn't push or pull properly they can't figure out what's going on, almost one year since we migrated to git ... come on... read the fucking message!

Backend colleague : the API is online. It's tested and working, you can start the dev.

Me trying to manually call the API with all the fields pre validated : "error : invalid fields"

EVERY. FUCKING. TIME !

To all the backend developers : we are NOT your personal testers, and we are NOT supposed to clean your mess because you're too lazy to FUCKING TEST THE HAPPY PATH!!!

Thank you for your consideration.

Ok friends let's try to compile Flownet2 with Torch. It's made by NVIDIA themselves so there won't be any problem at all with dependencies right?????? /s

Let's use Deep Learning AMI with a K80 on AWS, totally updated and ready to go super great always works with everything else.

> CUDA error
> CuDNN version mismatch
> CUDA versions overwrite
> Library paths not updated ever
> Torch 0.4.1 doesn't work so have to go back to Torch 0.4
> Flownet doesn't compile, get bunch of CUDA errors piece of shit code
> online forums have lots of questions and 0 answers
> Decide to skip straight to vid2vid
> More cuda errors
> Can't compile the fucking 2d kernel
> Through some act of God reinstalling cuda and CuDNN, manage to finally compile Flownet2
> Try running
> "Kernel image" error
> excusemewhatthefuck.jpg
> Try without a label map because fuck it the instructions and flags they gave are basically guaranteed not to work, it's fucking Nvidia amirite
> Enormous fucking CUDA error and Torch error, makes no sense, online no one agrees and 0 answers again
> Try again but this time on a clean machine
> Still no go
> Last resort, use the docker image they themselves provided of flownet
> Same fucking error
> While in the process of debugging, realize my training image set is also bound to have bad results because "directly concatenating" images together as they claim in the paper actually has horrible results, and the network doesn't accept 6 channel input no matter what, so the only way to get around this is to make 2 images (3 * 2 = 6 quick maths)
> Fix my training data, fuck Nvidia dude who gave me wrong info
> Try again
> Same fucking errors
> Doesn't give nay helpful information, just spits out a bunch of fucking memory addresses and long function names from the CUDA core
> Try reinstalling and then making a basic torch network, works perfectly fine
> FINALLY.png
> Setup vid2vid and flownet again
> SAME FUCKING ERROR

> Try to build the entire network in tensorflow
> CUDA error
> CuDNN version mismatch
> Doesn't work with TF
> HAVE TO FUCKING DOWNGEADE DRIVERS TOO
> TF doesn't support latest cuda because no one in the ML community can be bothered to support anything other than their own machine
> After setting up everything again, realize have no space left on 75gb machine
> Try torch again, hoping that the entire change will fix things

At this point I'll leave a space so you can try to guess what happened next before seeing the result.

Ready?

3

2

1

> SAME FUCKING ERROR

In conclusion, NVIDIA is a fucking piece of shit that can't make their own libraries compatible with themselves, and can't be fucked to write instructions that actually work.

If anyone has vid2vid working or has gotten around the kernel image error for AWS K80s please throw me a lifeline, in exchange you can have my soul or what little is left of it

For fucks sake, how many times can you get the same error before giving up?

So, there's this form, and it's used quite frequently without fail, and there's this 1 user receiving an error that some data is incorrect, so... they submit the form again, and again, and again, and 6 more times with the same bloody error all because changing 1 fucking field is obviously to hard to recognise as the problem when the error says "you can not have 'x' in field 'y'"

Fuck it, do I need to replace 'x' with a blank, just because you can't read a fucking error message?

I am laughing and crying at the same time.

I did a high value transaction with Google Pay, and now I cannot see the transaction details in history for this specific transaction (The money was transferred correctly though). When I open the history entry, it says "Something went wrong, please try again".

So after waiting for a week, I went to report a bug with Google from within the app. And when I press submit, I get an error.

Wanna guess what's the error?

ITS FUCKING "SOMETHING WENT WRONG, PLEASE TRY AGAIN"!

git add -all
Error: did you mean '--all' (with two dashes ?)

Every.
Fucking.
Time.

There’s a special place in hell for fuckwits who create tickets and don’t include the fucking error message.

"An error has occurred. Please try again."

WELL WHAT THE FUCK IS THE ERROR? WHY CANT YOU TELL ME WHAT I NEED TO DO TO FIX THE ERROR YOU PIECE OF FUCKING SHIT.

I shouldn't need to submit a form 23 fucking times, changing field values each time, because of an uninformative fucking error message.

literally what the fuck is the point of C++
>takes 3 years to make anything half-functional
>language was made in like fucking 1902 so it's damn near fucking impossible to make anything that works without sifting through bumfuck retarded syntax/libraries
>error messages that tell you absolutely nothing of use and are indecipherable garbage 90% of the time
fuck C, fuck it's retarded downie little brother C++, and fuck the stupid fucking boomers who say you're not a real programmer unless you force yourself to become a masochist by using either one of these stupid fucking languages
"oh but it's fast!!11!1!!" yeah but working with it sure as fuck isn't
half the fucking time if I just stop including certain headers in another file then the compiler throws like literally 400 fucking errors at me even though the thing(s) I excluded had no bearing on whatever the compiler decides it wants to loudly bitch and whine about
"oh but games were made on it!!!!111!" yeah not without fucking horrific spaghetti code and 900000 different libraries and dependancies designed just to make a single fucking window

Ok so I've been working on this bug for the past four days, fucking non-stop. I wanted to fucking die, was wishing I could just "pkill -f mylife". I tried fucking everything, did what the documentation told me to, stack overflow, tried different versions of the API, read through more lines of documentation than lines in the bible, to no avail. Start comparing screenshots of error logs from the past four days, notice that I started getting a line saying that it's connecting to the config file in a different location from default. I realize that the config file does not match the config file provided by the package installed, so I switch it to the default location. IT FUCKING WORKED, I've tested it nearly 10 times now and I am still in disbelief. It was a rollercoaster of emotions fixing the bug but now I'm just smiling like a fool in my chair at work now.

*Breathes in and out*
WHO THE FUCKING FUCK MESSED WITH THE WLAN ON THE PI?!
WHY THE FLYING FUCK DOESNT wlan0 WORK WITH THE NEW STRETCH IMAGE?!
WHO THE FUCK PROGRAMMED
THIS SHIT OF AN IMAGE?!
EVEN THE SHUTDOWN ISNT WORKING PROPERLY!
I FUCKING LOVED THE OLD JESSIE ONE! OK!!
*Begins to smash head to table*
WHY THE FUUUUCK DOESNT THIS WORK!
PLEASE! FFS IT JUST WONT CONNECT!
*Head begins to bleed*
FUCK!!!
*Stops smashing head*
*Tried once again*
Huh, it takes Longer now...
Error...
FUCKING FFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK
I HAD SO HIGH HOPES FOR THIS SHIT TO WORK! PLEASE RELIEVE ME OF THIS FUCKING BAD DREAM!
*Takes a Deep breath once again*
Shutdown -i
Error, another user is connected.
THIS CANT FUCKING BE! IM THE ONLY FUCKING USER ON THIS WIFI AND PI!
THIS SHIT MUST BE KIDDING ME!
AND NOW IT WONT SHUT DOWN!
*Realizes that I ran out of fucks to give*
OK...
IM NOT ONLY PULLING THE PLUG NOW, I WILL BE PULLING THE GODDAM FUSE OF MY ROOM!!
EVEN MY DUCKY DIDNT HELP ME!
THIS IS USELESS!
FUCK.

btw, there should be Raspberry Pi Capes.

So I wanted to update my visual studio. Turns out I cant because WPF (Apparently the Installers uses it) has a problem with broken fonts.
Okay. No problem I thought. I uninstalled all 720 fonts and re-registered them, filtering out the 3 broken ones. Checked the time-stamp as suggested. Everything fine. Had to reboot. (Of curse.)
Rechecked the fonts, reports as okay. Tried to start the installer BUT THIS FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT SOFTWARE CRASHES ON ME AGAIN WITH THE SAME FOCKING ERROR. IT DOESN'T EVENT WANT TO FUCKING TELL ME WHICH FUCKING FONT IS THE PROBLEM. I CHECKED EVERYYYY SINGLE FUCKING FONT. NOT THAT THERE IS NO FUCKING WAY TO FUCKING CATCH A FUCKING FUCKER EXCEPTION IN THIS FUCKING WORLD. I mean seriously. Why would you crash on a font THAT YOU DON'T EVEN USE IN YOUR FUCKING FUCK PROGRAMM TO INSTALL YOUR FUCKING PICE OF SHIT SOFTWARE.
But, IT GETS WORSE. TURNS OUT MICKY FUCKING SOFT KNOWS ABOUT THIS FUCKING BUG SINCE TWO-FUCKING-THOUSAND-FOURTEEN.
And they didn't fixed it. Nooooooooo. THEY FUCKING WROTE A FUCKING WORKAROUND THAT DOES NOT FUCKING WORKKKKKK AND KEEP PUTTING THIS FUCKING BUG IN EVERY FUCKING INSTALLER SINCE THEN.
Can you tell I'm pissed? YES? GOOOOOOD. BECAUSE I FUCKING AM.
MICKYSOFT CAN GO AND SUCK A FUCKING APPROPRIATE THING TO SUCK IN THIS FUCKING SITUATION.
THE BEST? THEY EVEN FUCKING DARE TO ASK ABOUT MY FUCKING FEEDBACK. YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU GET MY FUCKING FEEDBACK. TOGETHER WITH A FUCKING BAG FULL OF FUCKING SHIT TO YOUR FUCKING HQ
CAN I HAVE A FUCKING STRESSBALL NOW
</rant>

Day 3 of getting this god forsaken react app to launch!!

My fucking god you cock suckers make life difficult.

Npm install - they say
Npm start - that say
Npm - go swallow my god awful error log and fix all these dependencies
Npm - here's a dependency that didn't install but I need it
Npm - what do you mean your not using a fucking Mac with sass files!
C0D4 - I'm this.close() to fucking stabbing someone!

Been working with Git every day for the last 3 years and never had a problem with it.
Enters Windows.Stash changes, tries a simple stash apply:

error: cannot stat *file_name*: Permission denied

Please tell me you are fucking kidding me.. I did not just fucking lose all that work..

:q life

What the fuck Visual Studio? Last day my app was compiling succesfully. I DID NOT CHANGE ANY SINGLE FUCKING THING BEFORE I LEFT OFFICE. Today it refused to compile. It didn't even show the source of error, just says missing a reference.

- Clean solution, rebuild. Compile error
- Close VS re-open project. Compile error.
- Restart computer. Compile error.
- Close VS re-open project. Compile succesfully.
WHAT THE FUCK DID JUST HAPPEN? I could't believe it if it didn't happen to me. Is this shit compiling just by luck or what?

I fucking hate online editors for recruitment challanges!!

2 fucking hours I spend on developing a architectural problem but nothing came up on stdout!!

Why? Because the runtime added some functions to HELP me with stdin and stdouts. They were being called by the driverscripts and reading everything up beforehand!!
I was reading empty stdin from there!!!

Worst part is the code was kept at the last of the editor space hidden as a gray shade with no indication that there was code minimized.
After fucking my brain so long, realised the issue when I had 2 mins left!
Ended up with a compilation error while hurrying to change!!
I hate the hackerrank platform!!🤬🤬🤬😡🤯

Doing tons of research and learning, trial and error to infinity and pushing through when I thought 'fuck this shit I'm so fucking done'!

Did a few world map generations with the openmaptiles self generation tools and all went well.

Then, suddenly, no matter what system I use, it crashes with a Go error (I don't know much about Go).

Nothing changed in the repo and nothing changed in the OS.

Fucking hell.

Oracle database errors are fucking hilarious:

"Usually a pl/sql error"

Well thanks, but if I wanted an unhelpful and shitty response I would've asked myself, but it's great to know you're just as fucking useless.

You motherfucking incompetent useless collection of hairy ballsacks even a trained monkey could do a better job than you do. And I swear once we literally cross the 99% availability rate I will find your headquarters and smash everyone's face into each of your fucking servers then set that whole place on fire.

You forget to flush the DNS cache after moving my server (of course on Friday when else), here is 2 days of error page for my site, whoose instructions a normal user simply couldn't follow. Not to mention it pointed to the wrong article.

Random 503 error, and you aren't​ answering my phone calls, though usually I am the first one who informs you of a fucking problem with your fucking server and I have to wait 5-10 minutes in line while you are figuring out the problem.

And now random forbidden error for my whole page. Out of nothing. I've changed nothing. You said one hour earlier that it's your mistake and it will took around 30 min. Still nothing.

I'm fed up with all your bullshit. Go fuck yourselves.

I'm out...

fuck this shit bad ass error!

Just saw on Zuckerbook.
Moral : Put a screaming message for such idiots on support sites to fucking read the error. It's all written there.

VSCodium, just for a little moment, please go fuck yourself.

I mostly use netbeans but for just a little I'm using VSCodium (VSCode without the Microsoft calling home bullshit).

Just had this error I didn't see that fast and then, usually, whenever you put your cursor on the tee underlined code, it tells you the error in this drive-by popup thingy.

The goddamn popup disappears so fucking quick that its impossible to read.

Ended up trying to capture a screenshot in time which worked at try number 10+, then saw the error and corrected it.

VSCodium go fuck yourself. I'm not ready for this shit when I've just woken up and haven't fully drank my first coffee yet (or this is more like a triple espresso as for strength)

😡

Fucking IEEE pdf eXpress breaks this fucking paper.

The paper has been accepted, and we just need to upload a fucking camera-ready. But what was supposed to be a breeze, is now a nightmare with us spending the entirety of last night and evening trying to figure out why the fuck the latex gutter is keep throwing the same fucking error despite that we've used their own fuckin template, and don't have anything but text and images.

Fuck IEEE for making shit harder. Fuck their stupid submission system. 😭😭😭😭😭😭

I don't want to go back to work today. I literally had a 15 hours day yesterday. 😭😭😭😭

Finally fucking managed to setup quite fast map tile hosting including the tile generation after ages of research and trial and error.

I love this open (source) maps (openstreetmaps) project but man, figuring out what to do from a gazillion sources can be rather hard.

Now I'm just having some styling issues and the filesize is fucking insane (only the Netherlands with all data, 20gb+ if I remember correctly) so I'm just generating road maps for now. If someone knows some more about the styling as for the maps, please let me know!

Yeah, this is fucking satisfying.

Me searching on the internet how to fix my error. After a long time of searching with no results...I searched for:
"unity draw a fucking line in UI"
Google: How about this website? (second search result was devrant com)
And that's the story of how I got here.

I REALLY HATE IIS. IT IS THE STUPIDEST FUCKING PLATFORM. FUCK. WHERE THE FUCK ARE MY FUCKING ERROR LOGS YOU STUPID PIECE OF FUCKING CRAP. FUCKING KILL ME YOU STUPID SERVER ASS BITCH CUNT

For fucks sake python.
Reminder to the morons like me still using python:
Notepad++ is not a real IDE and Console output is not a real debugger.

And here we see the absolutely dogshit worthless error output of python:

Says its the fucking return line where the problem is. Besides the problem being between my fucking ears apparently, it took a fucking double take to realize I had capitalized the class keyword.

Well thank you WhatsApp web for this useful error. I just want to hear that audiomessage, that should not be so difficult that you forget your own fucking message. Damn you WhatsApp!

That moment that you finally decide to buy some bitcoin, purchase it, want to transfer.... aaaaaaand some random error shows up on your web wallet.

Fucking. Great.

What the fucking fuck you bastard of an OS? Your fucking filthy "Copying" dialog box!

One of these days, I am gonna fuck you up in the ass so hard, you are gonna see Gates flying!

I am copying a file from CD in to my PC. At 97%, this shit hole of an OS says through it's fucking urine hole of a "Copying" dialog box: "An unexpected error is keeping you from copying this file. Try Again/Skip/Cancel"

Seriously?! It's 2018, and an unexpected error is keeping me from copying the file?! Where the fuck is your QA?

I, being an unreasonably optimistic human with this Billy fucker, click "Try Again".

What happens? You know very well what happens. This shit of an OS starts copying the file again! From 0%!

This is the second time, this bloody, filthy, fucking "Copying" dialog box has given me problems.

I am telling you, it's days are numbered in my PC. The countdown starts now.
.
.
.
It happened again! At fucking 97%! I just want to scream now.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!

Fucking Square Enix Website is just a huge pile of shit. NOTHING WORKS!

Wanna change your password? Nah sorry an error occured.

Wanna change your username? Nah sorry I'll just show you a loading symbol forever.

Wanna add a game to your collection? Nah sorry the "add" button is on fucking holiday and doesn't do anything.

Wanna change your avatar? Nah sorry I'll just redirect you and don't do anything.

Most amazing part is where you log in, then get redirected to the home page but it still shows the "Log in" button. Then you click on that "Log In" button and wosh! Home page reloads and tada! You're logged in!

Seriously who let this code into production? Also I know that you're using GraphQL now, due to an error message. Thank you!

Fucking bullshit...

Linker crashed while building LLVM from source AT FUCKING 97% ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?
(Antergos , GCC 7)

The error was that it exhausted the memory. How the fuck does a system with 16GB RAM and a swapfile run out of memory while building something? Dayum.

Gradle just got updated and every fucking code shows error now!
Goddamn it android studio.

Well after years of programming, I've hit my first runtime error that provides no info , the code fails prior to being able to generate an error so this is fucking fine :-)

And of course, the one time I need stack overflow, it tells you to initialise the class with data... Yet the class doesn't contain a fucking constructor... Smiley face

you motherfucking cocksucking ass wipes.

How fucking hard is it for you JS cockheads to have STABLE fucking code?

So hear I am, thinking through a side project for data extraction and loading to automate some shitty part of my job, that could be used by the broader team... and decide to use electron.... I know it's a clusterfuck, but this wouldn't be a big application, so against my better judgement I run:

npm install electron
npm start
...
Error: unknown spawn

🤷‍♂️ you had 1 fucking job... 1 fucking lousy shit stain of a job, and you can't even have something run out of the god foresaken box without someone debugging your shit.

Now who has a WORKING alternative to electron?

porra; caralho; toma no cu.

this fucking shit xamarin. I wish the ass who programed the xamarin vs2017 integration to go fuck off.

srsly, I just want to fucking code this fucking fucker VS2017 keep shitting all around me

first I was gonna install it. didn't install because no memory left. fair enough, my fault there.

cleaned 35 gbs.

finish installing VS, with xamarin. FIRST GOD DAMN TIME I create fucking project, 2 fucking errors and 3 warnings. I DIDN'T EVEN TYPE A COMMA.

ok, tried fucking it. it seems to be conflict between version of Android and xamarin forms. fucker you it shouldn't be like this. anyway.

tried downloading the updated Android version.

it failed at 80%! what error you ask? missing fucking space ok, fuck that thing is huge, ok, my fault again. uninstalled all programs I was not using, all projects I'm not current working on. more fucking 30GB free. tried again. ANDROID IS TOO FUVKING HUGE CAN'T INSTALL IN 30GB!!!

Ok. instead of updating android, gonna downgrade xamarin, can't downgrade. ok gonna remove and install an early version.

unistalled. CAN'T FIND XAMARIN DLLS.

I was like, fuck this project, gonna start a new one. ok, all seems fine, for some weird reason. Except no. I try adding a new page, ops, APPARENTLY VS2017 CAN'T LOAD A GODDAMN .XAML

Ok, I can create a .cs page. done, except now I get a fucking timeout error. fuck.

I search the internet for a workaround, see a guy saying I could manually add a .xaml + .cs by creating this files and then adding them to the proj file.

did it. I go again, everything seems fine. but now I can't freaking reference the damn page.

I'm fucking losing my mind here.

In the mean time I have to turn in this project at the end of the week AND I CAN'T FUCKING OPEN THE GOD DAMN FREKING PROJECT PROPERLY!

FUCK. MY. LIFE.
FUCK XAMARIM AS WELL
FUCK VISUAL STUDIO
FUCK MICROSOFT
FUCK THAT DAMN SSD
FUCK THAT BOSS WHO THINK THAT A 128GB SSD IS ENOUGH
FUCK IT ALL...

I just fucking hate BGAs* that unsolder themselves.

So, thanks to my laptop slowly breaking apart I decided to reactivate an old netbook my father gave me back in 2014(?) when it failed, to have a device on standby if necessary.

Wasn't really planning to repair it and kept it for spare parts mostly as the whole device is a fucking design failure concerning heat dissipation.

But yet again, I thought I'd give it a try one-two years ago. I soon found out it was said heat problem that caused the error in the device and it'd probably only take some reworking using a heat gun, which I did. Netbook worked for some hours, then was dead again, same error. Lost motivation and stashed it until this week.

Reworked with a hair-dryer this time and it worked! Well, until this morning - same error. Perhaps I shouldn't have tried to run a VM and then shut down the device right after that.

I will now try only one more time, this time just baking the whole damn main board thoroughly.
Either it works or it's really dead after. Either way, I'll be somewhat happier then.

* Ball Grid Array - package type for electronic components like ICs/uControllers

I’m a fucking idiot read error messages kids

Serously I just recoverd from being overworked and senior developers are complaining to me that their code does not work???

DUDE just read the fucking error and start googling!

How the fuck do you think I learned software development?

It's a fucking matter of trail 'n error!

Any enterprise web service which ignores http standards. If you have a Fucking error return 500 not 200 with an error string you f--k

Emailing about a stray error message with a service. He asked me to send a screenshot of the error. So I do.

In the tabs bar, it's clearly written "how to print screen on linux" JESUS FUCKING CHRIST kill me

Earlier this day, I was about to start a new project. So I copied my favourite gulpfile.js into that projects root and installed all dependencies with npm. After running Gulp for the first time it threw an error.

Silly me tried to fix stuff and got googling the error and trying random things... After a break of a few hours I just fucking rerun Gulp and read the fucking error completely. It stood there. The fucking solution just stood there, run "npm blah --force" to reconfigure package blah....

Of course it worked right away and I finally could start working. But this shit took way too long. Why I just can't read the fucking error message. Damn

HELL FUCK AND HELL YEAH AT THE SAME FUCKING TIME!
Why? Well... You maybe remember that I Posted a Rant where i said that i Stream EVERY 3D Print i do. And... That I wanted to make an Easter Bunny, that failed... Failed Horribly... and thanks to the Fact im streaming everything i could just REWIND the footage AND FOUND THE ERROR! AND IM SO FUCKING GLAD THAT I DID THIS!
GOOD DOCUMENTATION IS A MUST FOR EVERYTHING!!! DOCUMENT YOUR WHOLE FUCKING LIFE! JUST FUCKING DO IT!

Fuck node. Learn to get some real fucking error messages. Ain't nobody got time for that shit

Aaaah ! So fuckin done with this Server error !

I am checking if a cookie is set in Php and if it is, I am redirecting user to some page, basically its a 'remember me' logic. But this fucking error comes in everytime my page redirects.

I have a similar logic to check if user is currently logged in the current session,and if he opens a new window and types the url(index.php) he is automatically logged in (obviously,duh !) and redirected,bt it dosent crash at that time!

Help 😥

So normally I go with a super-conservative error handler that logs errors, and exit the process on even the tinyest/smallest error.
Regardless or project/cms/framework I always to this to prevent myself from installing spaghetti plugins or writing unstable code.
Also because I don't want any code to just soldier on if a variable wasn't defined properly, or likewise.

But today I had to write this little fucker into my error handler, to support the error surpressing operator '@'

Appearently prestashop was developed by a group of senseless moronic fuckwits,
and hteir piece of horseshit software doesn't even work if it isn't allowed to surpress errors.

What was the fucking imbeciles thinking when requiring such lunatic behaviour...

My coworker claimed to have experience with R programming on their resume.

Now I don't know R myself but I'm pretty sure what actually happened was they were handed an R program and told how to run it...

Cause they doesn't use functions without being told to, I've had to explain global vs local variables multiple fucking time, and the worst fucking offense in my opinion

THEY DOESN"T READ FUCKING ERROR MESSAGES, so many times there's been an issue in the scripts and when I go to look at what's wrong it's 3 fucking lines down from what they fucking screenshot and spam me on teams with

Being the dumbest smart person is way better than being the smartest dumb person. Here is looking at anyone ever trying to tell me how to do my job yet you cannot read a fucking error messag. Yes incorrect password means you got it wrong, dim witted cunt

If I write something erroneously on SO because the program or operating system uses it erroneously in the error, don't edit my fucking question to what you think it should be. People who Google for the same error aren't going to find it as a possible fucking solution. How fucking hard is this to understand?

WINDOWS 10 low on memory error! How do i fucking get rid of this keeps restarting my computer 😫😫😫! PHOTOSHOP USER

Fucking give me an error message instead of telling me {error: "You can find more details on developer.incompetent-shits.com", success: false}

this fucking senior dev, just send the following messages:

pull development,
Did yarn install
now yarn dev does not work.....

BRO: READ THE FUCKING ERROR MESSAGE!
It's plain English!

Seriously wtf.

I think the -f flag in apt-get means "fucking install it". Whenever apt reports some dependency error shit, I'll just do "apt-get install -f" and it magically fucking works.

No wonder nobody makes apps for the Windows 10 store...

I'm trying to deploy an Azure Function via Visual Studio. VS gives me this error:

Publish has encountered an error.
Publish has encountered an error. We were unable to determine the cause of the error. Check the output log for more details.

A diagnostic log has been written to the following location:
"C:\Users\myusername\AppData\Local\Temp\tmp16F8.tmp"

Let's check the log then!

"Microsoft.WebTools.Shared.Exceptions.WebToolsException: Publish has encountered an error. We were unable to determine the cause of the error. Check the output log for more details. "

Fucking piece of crap

Finally got a new laptop at work!
The first thing to do: install linux in it so the beast could roar free.

Download mint iso, dd it into an usb drive, boot it up in uefi mode, .... /dev/sda read error: -110. Fuck, must be smth w/ secure-boot. Disable it, rinse and repeat. Same error. Wtf, could my drive be broken?
dd iso into another usb drive, boot live env -- read error. THE FUCK! It's wildly unlikely my both usb drives died on the same fucking day!

Go to it admin to ask for an usb drive. Iso->usb, boot -- live env is up. My my, look who's unfortunate today :)

cryptsetup, install, reboot et voila, the beast is finally roaring!

I had once an sql error that took me two days to resolve it.
The error message was a syntax error but I was using an ORM to write my queries (doctrine with php) .I didn't have too much to debug as the code was pretty simple and clear so I got to the point that I convinced myself that this a bug and I'm gonna try to mess around it to avoid it.

Second day late night, something popped up in my mind '' hey what about those reserved words? Could it be the reason? '' aaaaand BINGO the key '' option '' is a fucking reserved word for mysql.

Tip : always check that list before writing your data models (specially if you're a noob like me)

Leaving an intentional compiler error on Friday so I know where to continue on Monday.

Now I have a compiler error and not a fucking clue of what I'm supposed to do with it.

Last year I had to program most of my projects in Python. I like the language, don't get me wrong. But man oh man if you indent your line of code one too many fucking times, it can be such a pain in the ass to find your error...

Even if it may clutter your code (not in my opinion), that's why I love them curly brackets and languages which use them <3

Can I at least save my work before you fucking finish collecting the error info?

Last week all the sites I'm hosting started acting real strange... Nothing made sense.

One site gave an error telling me that the database couldn't write to disk "insufficient space"...

What? Are you fucking kidding me?

Turns out indexing 14TB of data kinda makes mlocate use a lot of space...

Excluded one folder, optimized the db and voila, from 17GB to less than 1GB...

I just spent 3 fucking hours because I didn't realize there was another / needed in a url variable and I just couldn't figure out where the error was coming from

My Gear S3's charger all of a sudden decided not to stop full charge when the watch was at 100%, so I came home to a watch that was flaming hot and going crazy with error messages that it's overheated, battery going down WHILE charging.

Tried it a few more times, never stops at 100% anymore

Samsung you fucking retards, thanks for trying to burn my house down (again)

How on earth are there people in their second year of a computer science course who are unable to understand how to read build errors. It's honestly not that hard, just look at the fucking build log and see where the error is and what type of error it is, but yet they don't bother reading the log and say that their "compiler is broken" when their 5 line code won't work.

If this was still first year I'd understand since many of the class didn't have much programming knowledge, but if you're in your second year and you struggle with this (that too for a Hello World script) it looks like you aren't even bothered and just expect the computer to magically understand what you mean.

Worst of an job in IT? Coming home and having to fix computer still.

I fucking hate it. I fucking hate computers. There might be great stuff like nifty algorithms, grand theoretical theorems about formal languages, Lisps,... BUT that's so far away from the mundane atrocities we have to put up with when it comes to sth like installing a printer.

Newest release of driver won't install a plugin without helpful error. Older release works.. for printing some pages... Then some component (cups-filter) keeps on segfaulting.

2nd rant this week on PHP PDO

PHP 💩:
PHP message: SQLSTATE[HY000]: General error: 2014 Cannot execute queries while other unbuffered queries are active.  Consider using PDOStatement::fetchAll().  Alternatively, if your code is only ever going to run against mysql, you may enable query buffering by setting the PDO::MYSQL_ATTR_USE_BUFFERED_QUERY attribute

Me 🤬:
THATS WHAT I’M FUCKING USING. STOP FUCKING COMPLAINING. YOU DIDN’T LIKE THE FUCKING COLONS FOR YOUR FUCKING PARAMATETRS, NOW YOU HATE YOUR OWN FUCKING FETCHALL() METHOD YOU PEICE OF SHIT, AND YOU CAN’T HAVE ANY OTHER ACTIVE QUERIES AS IT’S THE FIRST FUCKING QUERY. ARRGHHH!!!!!

What the actual fuck is wrong with PDO. It bitches about everything 😡.

Situation:

Php not loading oci8 connector for oracle database in windows server, got the all famous and feated oci_connect unknown function error.

Solution:
Check to make sure that the stupid dll is in the extensions folder ---> check

Check to make sure that the extension_dir path is done properly inside php.ini ---> check

Ensure that extension=php_oci8_11g.dll is inside php.ini ---> check

I have no fucking clue why this piece of shit would stop working all out of the sudden and would not fucking work. But here i am yet AGAIN trying to fix something for the fucking web tech department because their fucking lead dev is out.

I
Fucking
HATE

Having to deal with php configurations. Such a fucking pain in the fucking ass man.

FUUUUCKING WOOOOOORK

Laravels error reporting is sometimes fucking useless. Yesterday it wrote into the logs "class foo doesn't exist". I triple checked the including of this class. Checked the namespaces. Checked the classnames. Everything was ok.
Today I removed the content of this particular class, which returned an array. And the error was gone...

After further search I realized I was missing commas within the array deceleration...

Why the fuck you don't just tell me this????!?

WTF PEOPLE!!
Some people really need to read their error messages.

Just now I got this teammate asking me how he should handle the error git returned. The error message stated: "Please commit your changes or stash them before you merge." He asked me what he should do to fix the error... I was astonished by his stupidity that he did not read the fucking error message.

Almost every fucking time a teammate comes to me with the question how to fix an error, there is a message that says how to fix the error. Why don't they read them?!?! I told you so many times to read your fucking error messages!!!

I'm really glad the project is over in a couple of weeks and I get a new team..

Sooooo.....
I just spend roughly 5 hours trying to get a Laravel Homestead up and running. Constantly jumping from one error to the other, getting nowhere.

Turns out that,
...
...
I NEVER FUCKING GENERATED A BLOODY SSH KEY
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME
AN ENTIRE DAY WASTED
JESUS CHRIST

I swear, I'm way too junior for like 95% of this shit....

I spend 1 day debugging why I can't connect to my neo4j database. I reinstalled neo4j, I tweaked the configs, I still could not connect from my web application. The I tried to copy the url where to request are being send to into curl.

The error message: "Could not resolve host: locahost"

LOCAHOST. FUCKING LOCAHOST

FUCK ME AND MY ABILITY TO WRITE ONE OF THE MOST USED WORDS IN NETWORKING.

So you're getting an error message that says "incorrect credentials"? Read the fucking message and check the spelling of your fucking email address.

Sending webrequest to book car service, but the website isn't telling me if the request went through - just back to the same page with all info filled in. No error messages. Right now they either have 10 requests from me, or none. Stupid fucking site.

Who is that genius at Microsoft thought about that if adding a new email to outlook on Android and credentials are wrong, CLOSE THE WINDOW AND GO BACK TO SETTINGS!!

Error message says wrong username/password then let me fucking fix them not go back and enter everything from scratch (outgoing, incoming servers, username, password)

Fuck this shit -_-

Fuck c++
Everytime I have to use this fucking language it spits up some other bullshit error

`cannot convert std::vector<int>() to std::vector<int>&`

WHY THE FUCK ARE STACK ALLOCATED VALUES EVEN THEIR OWN TYPES

AND WHY CANT I TAKE A GOD DAMN REFERENCE TO IT

JUST WHYYYYY

At work, all errors within the site are logged into our database with a subject and error column. SQL errors are logged in the subject field while the traceback is put in the error column. However, a lot of SQL errors are really large and exceed the max character width of the subject field, causing yet another SQL error, and the cycle repeats. This recursive error has been the bane of my existence, because 1) it times my local dev instance out and 2) the error doesn't end up getting logged because the server both freezes and the error can't be inserted in the database. You can't even begin to imagine how many hours I've wasted trying to find what line I changed cause total and utter failure with absolutely 0 error logging. Next thing on my todo list is to fix this fucking issue since the head dev refuses to get it done.

If you're going to have your package write into the SSIS log "please check the SSIS log for details" when your package throws an error

Kindly throw yourself off a cliff.

WRITE THE FUCKING ERROR TO THE FUCKING LOG.

If I'm reading the log, I'm already CHECKING THE FUCKING LOG. So I don't need the log to tell me to check the log.

FUCK.
NEXTJS.

...

THIS PIECE OF FUCKING SHIT WORKED 4 DAYS AGO.

I CHANGED ***NOTHING***.

4 DAYS LATER I START THE PROJECT AGAIN AND HALF THE STUFF BREAK. NOTHING FUCKING WORKS!!!!!!!

SOMETIMES IT WORKS SOMETIMES IT BREAKS

MESSAGES GET SENT SUCCESSFULLY 2-3 TIMES IN A ROW AND THEN Random 401 error

Random page glitch flickering when routing to new pages rendering the content blank

Random list map iteration crashes on ui dev side

This is such a fucking SHIT

Now i started my angular and spring boot exact same project that i stopped worjing on since october 2023 AND EVERYTHING WORKS FINE WITHOUT ANY RANDOM ERRORS

RANDOM ERRORS ONLY HAPPEN FOR NEXTJS FUCKSHIT FUCKING FRAMEWORK

FUCKIEST DOGSHIT GORILLACUM MAD FUCKIJNNGG RETARD FRAMEWORK FOR AUTISTICS I WASTED SO MUCH TIME LEARNING THIS PIECE OF FUCKING GARBAGE!!!!!!!!!

Fuck I can't even. Remember all those rants (mine included) about how users are quite retarded and only report "omg smth wrong, help" without any explanaition or screen shot, or even worse WITH A WORTHLESS CROPPED OUT SCREENSHOT?!

USERS I GET, BUT FUCKING SENIOR DESKTOP SUPPORT GUY DOING SAME RETARDED IT DOES NOT WORK CAN U HELP THING IS MADDENNNNIINNGG

LEARN TO FUCKING READ THE FUCKING INSTRUCTIONS IN THE FUCKING ERROR DESCRIPTION, YES?

*Ahhh* 😄

The thing that I most hate is when you're approaching a new framework/tool, you follow the official documentation and the first example doesn't work.
I'm trying the official documentation of webpack, I tried the first example and guess! Error! It says that's probably a breaking change. Where the hell should I learn it? I don't have the crystal ball, should I guess how your fucking tool fucking works? Oh my god, it's ok if you introduced breaking changes, but just update all the references, is it so hard?

every fucking time I use Javascript.
(yes, I'm no expert, but I can pick up ANY LANGUAGE and do this task in FIVE FUCKING MINUTES, NOT AN HOUR!!! FUCK!)

"Gee, I think this button should probably list the total recipients of the mailing, looks like I have to get the total of a column in an object, no problem, hell, i'll do it frontside just for the fuck of it'

yeah, seemed like a good idea.. AN HOUR AGO

ARRRGGGH

fucking javascript scope can take a flying leap off of a tall building, and then NOT FALL to the fucking ground because it will fucking tell me that OOPS gravity doesn't exist for javascript!
UNCAUGHT REFERENCE ERROR
right?
FUCK YOU
die from gravity like you deserve motherfucker

Can I for once use Xcode and not get a fucking "Mach-O Linker Error"!?

I need to hire a fucking personal cryptologist just to help me understand Visual Studio error messages.

New in my job
Start to work on a abandoned project for one of our client not very happy cause the lack of update
Go for a critical issue which exists since 2 months where everyone was telling me that they passed a huge time working on it with no answer
*check error*
*check code*
The code is so fucking much not DRY so I was able to see the same 4-5 incriminated lines elsewhere
*see that the request is lacking of one parameters just has the error suggests*
*copy paste the missing line*
*it works*

I’m now a hero for them but they become fucking peasants for me

(In addition, when code reviewing, some one had the nerve to tell me that “haha it was nothing much finally, it was easy”
To him : fuck you, eat my 💩)

Day 2 of trying to get into android development with flutter.

- Downloads Android Studio
- Tries to download Android-SDK from Android Studio's SDK Manager: "Error: Android SDK is missing or out of date".

YEAH NO FUCKING WAY, THAT'S WHY I'M TRYING TO DOWNLOAD IT.

- Uninstalls flutter and android studio

Lost all motivation to get into mobile development again.

How can so many devs have NO FUCKING CLUE what DNS is or how it works

FFS the amount of times ive had to tell devs to clear their dns cache when the browser tells them right in their fucking face a nxdomain error after deployment of a new test system and they just come screaming in confusion why its not working is entirely too high

XCode you fucking piece of shit...

So I just wanted to process my ios app to the app store and start the archive process. All of the sudden:
Command CodeSign failed with a nonzero exit code

What? So there is an error and you cannot tell me the error code? All information you give me that it isn't zero!? Wow... Amazing... What a great user experience. Maybe it cannot resolve the error? Maybe it is some external tool Apple has no access to and that is the only valid error they can throw at us?

Oh hell no! It has something to do with the keychain access! But why tell the user? That wouldn't be as much fun as just tell it is a nonzero error, isn't it apple?!

In the end locking and unlocking my key chain solved the problem... Thanks for nothing XCode!

I fucking hate Visual Studio!

Don't get me wrong, from time to time I actually enjoy it but not today.
It all went south when I tried to add a new handler to an fucking old asp.net webpage. I had the access the 'Range' headed to stream bits of audio and video files to the client. It was working absolutely fine for the first hour and a half, after that point the fun started...
VS decided that my source code and the binaries won't match anymore. Everytime I tried to add a fucking breakpoint or debug this cunt of an error it would just refuse
The worst part that made me go apeshit was when I finally got a breakpoint and the exception. Some unknown fucking system dll just kept on killing my thread without a proper error message because it's optimized to the fucking moon and back!

Any ideas from the devs here on what's going on and how the fuck I can fix this?

Man I fucking love debugging Windows applications... OpenVPN dun shit the bed because the management interface is locked (on the Windows client I presume?) - so poke that error message into the Gargler along with "openvpn windows"... First result, OpenVPN forums. Excellent. ... Some dickhead in the forums: "this is the wrong forum, this is for Access-Server users, and you the user MUST have terminated the process".

Come fucking on! If only I could replace this fucking device with a proper OS already (and no I can't). Windows itself being a clusterfuck is one thing but the goddamn support around it. Atrocious!

What the FUCK im fixing integrations on some dumbass's API. Biz wants this in prod on monday. It's fucking saturday. Anyway

Me: why did you give us a 200 even if its an error
Them: thats normal
Me: If it's an error it shouldnt be 200
Them: its a 200 because the api params are correct but differ in value so its not an http error but an api error

lmao

Fuck azure. Not even 2 hours in and this is the biggest bullshit I've seen. So fucking overcomplicated just to sign in and use the azure portal. Keep getting bombarded with random error messages when i try to create any fucking resource. Some tenant error no idea what that shit is. Annoying as fucjk

When you go to update your Mac think great I’ll go chill out for half hour, let it update and hit restart, then come back to your computer and realise Mamp stopped your computer restarting without entering a password. FFS rookie error put in the password computer restarts to update. “Calculating time remaining...” 40 minutes. I’m so fucking bored right now just staring at the screen and having a rant.

WTF is wrong with Manjaro, every package I install gets "error while loading shared libraries". VSCode, chromium, even yaourt?! I mean this just doesn't even fucking work.

I downgraded my kernel and now I get the same errors and when I -Syu, I get a thousand "Warning: x is newer than y"

Linux.

Microsoft Windows: this application has stopped working: Microsoft Windows

omg it's a fucking ERROR PARADOX

any fucker who has written code for the indian ewaybill portal needs to be fucking assassinated. couldn't even get a simple aspx login page to work. motherfuckers.
They just display a message that if we are having troubles we should try clearing our cache.
Like for fucks sake build it properly. This is the main source of income for this fucking nation, probably.
- the password reset doesn't work.
- the userid reset doesn't work.
- sometimes i show up as not registered. i just fucking transacted yesterday you buffoons.
- there is an error alert, that says "error". i god fucking know there is an error. please fucking tell how may we please your ass to bypass those fucking errors 😭.

fuck every developer that works for that portal 😤. Good for nothings.

thanks for creating devrant, dfox and trogus. feels better now 😌.

During my first project in one of the SQLite statements I didn’t realize that it needed single quotes since I was new to it. So I brushed that off but when working on the next function for the program 8 hours were dedicated to debugging to only realize that the error was caused because I forgot the fucking single quotes. FUCK

Context: New to typescript. Writing a thing, doing it for work, good opportunity to stretch my dev legs. Using a propriety lib, alternatives not an option.

Rant begin:
SOOOO, who the fuck thought THIS was a good idea:
1. Lib has minified react in dev (because closed source) meaning no downstream errors AND the entire premise of the lib is that a widget is a react component, so I'm writing typescript react the entire time without downstream errors
2. SHIT docs. By that, I mean there's an API reference page that's so sparse there's literally a set of CRUCIAL interfaces that only say the word 'Interface' on them. That's it. that's what i get. It's an interface. NO FUCKING SHIT SHERLOCK, what the fuck is it though? What's its purpose? Is it an interface for a dog? A dog that has a 'shit' property? or a cat? or a cat eating dog shit? Nobody fucking knows - the docs sure as fuck don't care.
3. No syntax highlighting - editors, IDEs (i've tried a few) can't even find the lib inside this environment, so Code and everything else thinks I'm importing shit that doesn't even exist - so no error prediction, code completion based on syntax of the library, none of that.
4. There are some EXTREMELY basic samples - these samples exclusively use React classes - no function components, no hooks, nada - just classes and even perfect replicas of the sample code display erratic behavior like errors about missing props, so that's mostly FUCKING USELESS
5. And this... this is where the straw breaks the fucking camel's back... there's no... there's no hot reloading... Do you know what that (in conjunction with the previous 4 fuckups) means?

When I write anything or I fuck up (which of course I'm doing every time I write half a line because how the fuck?) I have to restart the client and server EVERY FUCKING TIME and manually test to see if the error (THAT ONLY GETS REPORTED IN THE LOCAL UI) is gone or different.
Then, once I see the error, it isn't an error: it's the minified React error-decoder link and guess what? It isn't really clickable a link OR copyable, meaning that every FUCKING time I get a new error, I have to MANUALLY TYPE A FUCKING 50 CHAR URL TO FIND OUT A GENERIC REACT ERROR MESSAGE WITHOUT A LINE NUMBER OR ANY FUCKING CONTEXT. I HAVE TO DO THIS CONSTANTLY TO SEE IF ANYTHING I'M DOING EVEN WORKS.

6. There's no github to complain to the maintainers or search for issues because it's NOT FUCKING OPEN SOURCE so there is literally nothing to be fucking done about it.

This is due in a week and a half, found out about it last Friday. How's your day going?

PS: good to be back after a long respite from dev ranting.

Must be great to be a giant fucking dumbass company raking in more than enough money, that you can't add 40-50 more characters on why your API doesn't like our call.

"Here's an API call with 3 different ways to make a call, we will show you an example for only the easiest method, AND if you get the more complex ways wrong, we'll just respond with an error code 422 with the error message "validation failed".

fuck.

you!!!!!!!!

I don't give a fuck about calling them out:

Its Bexio.

Why can't my team including my boss learn to stop making assumptions... And mixing seperate issues into one...

If there's a fucking production issue, first step is to reproduce it... AKA ask what the user did and what he expects....

Not...
User: hey we call this url and get an error
Dev: ok rollback

Yesterday I had to register my new credit card with a national payment app (MobilePay) and it kept giving me error 32, which says "a technical error happened please try again"... Real fucking useful u peace of shit app 😠

Turns out, after a bit of research, that it will sometime crash if you language is not set to a european language. Guess what? I had mine set to English... English (US)... 😧

Like, what the fuck is that? Why would you check if a person might be from EU, be checking the language setting?
Get your shit together 😑

JavaScript libs have a massive problem with quality and especially with quality of documentation and error reporting

For the entire day I've been staring at this stupid error and can't figure it out. The documentation stating that the source function sets the source dir, but not actual saying what 'source dir' means or what paths are resolved against it is no help either

npm is actually really awesome but almost every library I've tried just fucking sucks

So....

I'm loving my personal project in Node.JS but I have to say, whoever would use this for any involved professional purpose is a fucking retard.

A complete fucking retard.

Errrors related to their weakly typed bs would have been caught by a compiler in literally ANY OTHER LANGUAGE. Yeah it would take more time to tag objects etc, but then it would be DONE RIGHT and a look-ahead compiler wouldn't be necessary to tell you 'oh the reference could point to a completely different type ! nothing will warn you of this, but if you sort of hover after a certain line the source of the error it took a fucking hour of runtime to produce will be clear !'......

remember just say @NoToJavascript

For fuck sake why would you put in documentation some functionalities you did not even develop ?! How am I supposed to guess that my error comes from your code when event the fucking DOCSTRING of the method says the use case is handled ?
It's nice to have documentation and commented code, but could you please make it FUCKING coherent with what the code actually does ? I feel like I'm playing fucking riddles here !!

```
me@host $ vagrant init bento/centos-7.2
me@host $ vagrant up && vagrant ssh

me@vm $ ping google.com
error: unknow host
```

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME

I FUCKING REINSTALLED BOTH, VIRTUALSHITBOX AND VAGRANTFUCK; THIS IS FROM FUCKING SCRATCH, WHAT THE FUCKING SHITFUCK DO YOU MEAN WITH UNKNOWN HOST???

yaay just deployed my first asp.net site ever.
ALSO FUCK YOU MICROSOFT FOR WASTING 2 FUCKING DAYS TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHY I WAS GETTING 502.5 ERROR ONLY TO KNOW THAT I HAD TO DELETE THE WWWROOT FOLDER

Error reporting was flooded with failed database connection connections with me being baffled what was causing it.

Yeah, fucking network operator didn't tell us anything about maintenance work. Fuck you, too.

The fucking worst part of my job is when I get thrown an error on a bug I'm trying to fix and it doesn't even contain an error message. For example, I'll try to verify a self signed certificate but I get an error and literally the only error thrown is [Error 0], no fucking message. If you try to track down the error in the docs they don't even fucking list errors. Times like these make me wish I could castrate people with my

Well, tried to install Ubuntu on my other personal laptop today.

Never have I wanted to use Linux so bad and not been able to. Why oh fucking why must I get this error, and the shittiest thing is I have no clue where to start.

Ouuu today I experienced how web-devs must feel...

Task: create a form to answer questions with yes/no and a database behind it to collect stats.

So login to phpmyadmin
1. Wrong password got error message
2. No error message, still at login screen, but in address I see a token
3. There must be something wrong
4. Reinstalled phpmyadmin and mysql-server several times, wasted one hour on it - still stuck at login screen
5. Tried different browser and it fucking works!
6. Realized that cleaning cache fixed it...

due to some error on GCP, my and friend got locked out of a prod server over ssh.

And the fucking admin was not giving us privileges to do it through serial port, why you ask cause submitting keys from dashboard was not working.

Later, found out google runs a startup script from startup-script metadata tag.

It felt like showing a middle finger to the admin and google

I am done with .NET and it's bullshit error messages.

"Validation error happened! Please see Entity.Validation.Properties to see what the error is, then consult an oracle, who'll summon a demon who'll answer only three questions . . ."

FUCK OFF and just give me the error. I swear to god exceptions in NET always lead to some stupid fucking scavenger hunt rather than just letting me know what the fuck went wrong. This isn't the first time I've encountered this either, where it tells me there's an error and there's a mountain with a shaman at the top who'll provide me with the details if I can just hire a sherpa who'll help me climb it.

Sorry I can not fix your fucking 404 error, this problem is specific to you not site wide call the fucking help desk!

what the fuck I can't edit the rant after 5 minutes I am fucking posting a new rant which have that last rant ...Why they update the fucking x code in every fucking 15 days . Well some libraries are deprecated oh cool I can use my shit as an object. And why third party libraries don't provide some good documentation of their sdk's . What the fuck is that and I will personally kill auto layout by entering in the mac myself. What is the use of that fucking debugging tool if I know don't the crap of my code that in which class I have done something terribly wrong what the fuck . Oh cool I am having that clang error and I don't know how to wipe my ass. And please fucking don't tell me to use xib code in xcode for my project if there will be 600 screens I will still fucking use storyboard for that. I don't fuck with xib files do you hear me. And fucking stackoverflow ..what the fuck is wrong if I forget an single comma during posting a question ..what the fuck..and you know what the real feeling is when I post a issue on stackoverflow and I got nothing from them expect some minus points...and then the holy fucking coder inside me tells me to solve that fucking problem and I feel like having dope bitch. FUCCKKKK..

Customer complains about an issue after a software update. The head of department himself tested the update and got an error message.

Me looking at the logs. Ok, that's an issue, but based on hardware failure, customer should fix his hardware, no relation to the new software.
But surprisingly close to the software update, which piques my curiosity.

Me looking at older logs ... same issue. EVERY FUCKING DAY. For months. The corresponding error message only appears if a user is logged on, so quite a few people have seen it. Obviously nobody cared. Maybe we just ditch error messages, it'll save lots of work.

Fuck you Firefox and your shitty debugger.

Why do you try to be so different, to the point where you make the error messages obscure?

Google the error message I get in the Chrome debugger - hundreds of results.

Google the error message I get in the Firefox debugger - I can count the results with my fingers.

Just use the same error messages god damn it.

P.S: Also, why is there no fucking option to open an image in a new tab, like in Chrome?

I read the other day here about people not reading the error messages shown by the IDE and thought "there can't be people this dumb..."

Well, today I was helping a friend out with his java project and he was trying to figure out an error for at least 10 min so I told him, read the error message, he goes like nah, that won't help, I kept repeating it till he did it and guess what? The explanation was there and helped him figure out the problem.
His excuse? He didn't have the patience to read the message, it was 2 lines long...

How can you be so stupid to the point where your first thought isn't checking out the damn message the IDE gives you? It's there for a fucking reason.

Maybe I am just a fucking idiot, but I don’t get error handling at all. I’m always torn between what level the error should go, where it should go, and what to even do about it. Why has this burden of choice plagued me?!?

It’s like this question I can never figure out. How to react to certain things appropriately, because who can say that and be 100% correct about their opinion.

You know these people who want your support but do everything they could possibly do to prevent you from helping them?!

This one is about text-based support.

Basically, I told them to use a software. One guy said: "There is always an error right in the beginning when I start the app."
I ask: "What does it say?"
Another dude joins: "Yes, I get the same. Update fails or something..."
I ask: "What's the exact error message?"
Second guy: "Retrieving update failed or something similar..."

*whaaa, guess what: this is by no fucking way what I meant with "exact error message"*

Well, I ask nicely to look it up again and tell me the details.
Then, I suggest a possible solution for this abstract problem. Answer:
"No, it only happens at start."

What the fuck do you think I am? A stupid monkey who cannot read?! I know that it happens at start, that's why I suggested what I suggested! And don't think you're so intelligent to believe that deleting an update.exe in %appdata% had nothing to do with your problem. You don't have a single fucking clue how software works in its simplest manner.

What the fuck.

Fuck python
I have no experience in python and barely any in anything else and I want more than anything to learn this fucking language, but I cant launch the simplest fucking script in the world ("hello world.py") without getting a syntax error, not with my code, but with the fucking path which I checked and rechecked a million fucking times. I remember coding in shitty-ass Java using jGrasp for a year in college, and it was fantastic, but sitting here trying to sort out a fucking script in the IDLE shell is making me want to jump off the 10th fucking story. Kill me, please. I tried running in Atom text editor using the "Script" package, but that would have been too fucking convenient. I just keep getting errors and a fucking hourglass next to the name of my code at the bottom of the window, fuck me

AWS test error: An error occurred (AccessDenied) when calling the PutObject operation: Access Denied"

Hmmmmmmm

* proceeds to spend 2 hours correcting the role and policy for said user *

Alright, let's test!

AWS test error: An error occurred (AccessDenied) when calling the PutObject operation: Access Denied"

fuck you.

i'm not fucking sleeping until this is resolved

I fucking hate web development and fuckton of issues it has. Laravel library not found despite the files exists and composer loaded it in the autoloader, fix: create a config file for the lib, why? Because magic. The code cannot find the provider class without it....
Next, try out smtp mail. Works everywhere, but not with the live smtp server. Fails with Invalid recipients error. 2 hours later, with half of my hair torn out I finally figured out. Can you guess?
Credentials and settings are correct, recipients are also correct. The fucking from address parameter was the culprit because you cannot send emails on behalf another address, logical but fuck that error message. Why is it that hard to respond with an understandable response?

In today's episode of "how i got almost to the point of insanity for hours and the sudden realization and relief"

When you have ssh error saying your private key is an invalid format in your CI, you probably just missed an EOL.

MCP says EOL.

Fucking EOL

That is the realization i made after half a day wasting on debugging this.

I am developing a twitter bot which will post local weather daily. After few test tweets, twitter locked the account and asked to verify account by calling. They called and I wrote down the verification code but THE FUCKING TWITTER returns a "Something went wrong." error with no actual clue about the problem.

I just started on a Laravel project for a customer. Damn I’ve got a hate/love relationship with that thing.

I fucking love how fucking fast development is it in, even for fairly complex tasks, amazing.

I fucking hate how goddamn fucking slow development is when you get an error, as that shit is near impossible to debug, and you keep getting weird exceptions that you just need to know what means.