Windows 10 really improved battery charge time! I'm impressed!

My first dev job was the worst! The woman in charge of the building was always on my ass! She didn't really understand what programming was and didn't like that I smoked in my office... Then I moved out of my mom's house and got my own place

Who’s in charge of youtube verification?

Stolen from twitter

Go home Windows, you're drunk

My gf tried to charge the pendrive, coz the pc said device not recognized.
How they do this ???

Arrives at hospital.

Opens laptop.

Plugs laptop in.

Laptop doesn't charge.

"REALLY YOU FUCK?"

!Rant
The biggest face palm moment in my life..

A girl in my class came up with an app idea. She wanted to make an app using which we can transfer our battery charge using Bluetooth.  We initially thought it was a joke, then she went out to defend herself saying "if we can transfer files why not charge? If you're in an emergency and your battery almost drains out, wouldn't you feel nice if your friend could quickly transfer you 30% charge?"

Liked it, then give me a ++ via Bluetooth...

😂😂😂

Historically, tattoo artists would operate free of charge on women's breasts. This was an attractive offer for both sides, and spawned the phrase "tit for tat", which now represents two sides of an argument offering items of equal value.

This is a fact I just made up, like "Java runs on 4 billion devices"

Joker: If you are good at something don’t do it for free
Me: (thinking) How much shall I charge to introduce bugs into someone’s code? 🤣

Pro Tip: You can also charge your laptop faster by placing it carefully in the microwave and setting the timer for 10 minutes.

If all else fails; jumping off a bridge is also another natural way of preventing you from getting your devices infected

Today I found somebodies phone... Together with his bank cards in the flip protection wallet ... I was able to turn it on and charge it so I awaited a call and now through the caller I was able to return it to its owner within 2 hours of finding it 🥰 got a nice bottle of booze as a reward

Wouldn't be amazing if we could charge like doctors?

User: good morning engie, just here for my checkup.
Engie: everything seems to be working perfectly with your laptop. That would be 70 bucks.

Not comparing professions just a random thought.

My dev superpower would be the power to magically refill anything.
Out of hot coffee? Refill your thermos!
Bank account running low? Refill with money!
Battery empty? Refill with charge!
Going bald like me? Refill your head with hair!
Bed empty? Refill with beautiful women!
Clients / managers annoying you? Refill their bladders!
The possibilites are limitless!

Ahh the gems you find in codebases where only one person each is in charge of the frontend and the backend.

9pm Project Manager: We have to push an update TONIGHT
9.45pm Devs: okay guys, all latest bugs are fixed, just needs final check and we can push the update
10:45pm Devs: Guys?...
11:45pm Guy in charge of testing: Uh doesn't work...
- What doesn't work?
- I dunno, I get an error message
- What's the (fucking) error message?!
Aaaaand silence
Fuck this I'm going to bed.

!rant

So the guy who's pretty much in charge of this project allotted three hours yesterday for me to teach another employee how to use the tool I developed.

Within 20 minutes, the employee told me it was pretty straightforward and he didn't really have any questions. The only changes I need to make are minor clarification and organization changes to the documentation.

I feel pretty great.

Just tried washing my S8.

Works completely fine with speakers and camera, microphone, etc

During the process, it said that water was detected in the charging port, so I had to wait 10 minutes to charge until the port dries.

Overall, awesome!

P.S. How do they detect water???

Best experience: being in charge of the backend of the company website

Worst experience: being in charge of the backend of the company website when something was going wrong

If I were in charge of the company's upcoming-required-password-change notification system, during the month of October users wouldn't get an email.

Instead, the phone would ring.

When they answer, at first there'd just be hissing and crackling.

Then after a few seconds, a kid's voice would whisper,

"Three daysss..."

Someone awesome was in charge of correcting the official CS exams at our university (blue: student, red: corrector) :-D

My iPhone can't turn on after being off for 10 days. Tried everything.

Fuck you Apple. Its 21st century. My nokia from 10+ years still can charge.

10 minutes ago my phone was at 20%.

I stopped working on it, and plugged in the charger. I read a book for no longer than 10 minutes, and checked to see how much charge it has.

It was at 52% holy shit.

!rant
"I should be in charge," said the brain , "Because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen."

"I should be in charge," said the blood , "Because I circulate oxygen all over so without me you'd waste away."

"I should be in charge," said the stomach," Because I process food and give all of you energy."

"I should be in charge," said the legs, "because I carry the body wherever it needs to go."

"I should be in charge," said the eyes, "Because I allow the body to see where it goes."

"I should be in charge," said the rectum, "Because Im responsible for waste removal."

All the other body parts laughed at the rectum And insulted him, so in a huff, he shut down tight. Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache, the stomach was bloated, the legs got wobbly, the eyes got watery, and the blood Was toxic. They all decided that the rectum should be the boss

The Moral of the story? Even though the others do all the work.... The ass hole is usually in charge

This morning, a client called the office in anger because something wasn't working. The programmer who picked up the phone kindly tried to explain that he wasn't in charge and couldn't do anything at that moment. A few hours later, the client called back apologizing to that developer! We were all sitting there like 'wft just happened'

If I get the new arm I looked at today, I'll always have a battery pack on me. It's USB C and will charge my phone

Moment of silence for the Indian devs in charge of maintaining ATMs

Yesterday in the flight I was travelling announcement: passengers carrying Samsung galaxy note 7 must switch off at all times and must not charge their phones!!

My parents don't charge me for rent and I also eat their food.

I recently found an old laptop and turned on. It was running Windows but was too slow to use. I had Linux installed and it runs like new. I now have a laptop to use with no extra charge. Thanks Linux!

Went to recruit some interns at a CS school in my area. Talked to their teacher in charge of internships and asked her about their students skills in Java. She said they all are very solid in JavaScript. I left immediately.

SCRUMS ARE SUPPOSED TO BE 15 MINUTES, NOT FUCKING 1.5 HOURS

People who like hearing themselves talk shouldn't be in charge of meetings. We can't get the work done if you keep having meetings to talk about us getting the work done.

How do i save a Word document?
How do i convert it to a pdf?
What is a pdf at all?
How to put all those things on a usb?
Why is this Pc not working?

I should start to charge by Minute...

Delivered project this monday and gave the client one week where he can request changes free of charge. Changes made since monday: 43. This will be the last time I provide this service

As a freelancer, I outsource every bit of work to other countries with cheaper labor and charge the client like a rollercoaster

When someone asks you "how much do you charge to make a mobile app?" But never say what the app does!!

How do you milk sheep?
Bring out a new iPhone and charge $1000 for it.

I have a client who wants his website to look like a goddamn PDF. I'm really considering making his site in a Word document, exporting it as a huge image and just slapping it in the HTML.

Fucking motherfucker. I should charge more for dealing with this bullshit.

Currently written on the conference room whiteboard:

People who enjoy meetings should not be in charge of anything.

I couldn't agree more.

Just made a 10-minutes change on the website for a client for free while the company originally in charge of her website development wanted to charge her 660€. For a simple <script> tag.

My customer service girl just told me that she gonna charge $20 to a client. The client bought one of our web development packages and requested us to create LinkedIn, Google+, Twitter and Instagram account so he can put those on his restaurant website.

Don't be surprised if I became millionaire around 2020.

// $20 can give us like 5 KFC meals here.

Good Windows reseller hosting plans are hard to find. These guys want to charge me $20 per year just for an extra 1gb of webspace.

Get fucked.

It has officially been piss on my chips day.
1 bus pass refused to work today.
2 my pixel decided it would die. Will not boot or charge.
3 go on lunch and get battered by hailstone.
4 work pc decided it wants to blue screen whilst updating.

My reaction when I hear my friend saying he wants to charge £500 (~$660) for making a website using wix

I often hear
You will be promoted as lead if you act like it or take charge

That is really stupid, there is difference between responsibly and effort.

Why would i put effort for things that i am not getting paid for ?
Fuck that

When I started studying CS, my dad was very upset. He told me he couldn't undersand why was I studying that if the only thing I could do afterwards was to open a computer repair shop and charge people to install antivirus and word. He's not saying shit now when I earn more than he has ever had and lend him money knowing he cannot repay me.

Client: Don't be afraid to charge us as it is must, we know your work is very valuable.

Me: Ok... *delivers the price*

Client: mmmmm... we thought it might be cheaper 😰

Me: 😒

Fuck CORS man. Just fuck CORS

Yay a new iPhone.
3 cameras and fast charge and.... omg 5 more hours of battery life 😱

But wtf Apple, $1900 AUD.

This is seriously getting to the point Apple don't want people's money anymore.

Oh and just to clarify,
- sent from my iPhone

My fellow coworker dev just sent a staging site link to our CFO to review some new functionality...

CFO clicks on our corporate HQ link in coworker's email signature instead and berates coworker for sending him the wrong link...

This person is somewhat largely in charge of making decisions that affect our digital marketing, website budgets, and strategy.

I can't make this shit up.

I leave to visit a customer and leave my iPhone charger plugged into my computer.

I come back and my colleague has my charger, the converstaion goes as follows.

Me: "Can i have my charger back?, it was plugged into my machine before i left."
Colleague: "Why do you need it?"
Me: "To charge my phone?"
Colleague: "Yeah, but i need to charge mine"
*The cable is plugged into his phone, charging*
Me: "Yeah, but its my cable, that you took"
Colleague: "Just wait until I'm done"
Me: null

What has even happened lol

me: do we need to setup the shop to charge a flat shipping rate, or charge per item?

🕛3 hours later.

client: yes, that is correct.

me: 😧

I just had a brainfuck moment...

Why do I charge my phone via PC USB at work (slowly) when I actually have a power bar on my desk...

Me: "ok for the following changes you must pay the following charge because it's not in the scope"
Customer: "bUt tHiS Is Not whAt I wanT, wOnT pAY thE ResT iF yoU arE nOt DoiN It blablabla"
Marketing: "please do it for him"
Fuck me.

As someone in charge of reviewing this code, how would you react to this function that contains, what could be, the longest ever readable return statement.

My work just gave me a new MacBook Pro with the Touch Bar. Dear Apples, I can’t even!!!!

What a piece is shit! I can’t charge my phone, plug in my monitor or my mouse without a freakin dongle! Worse of all, I can’t feel the keys to reduce volume, I always have to look does at the Touch Bar, tap twice to reduce the volume. How inefficient!

FU Apple! FU!

Hey guys! I need your help please. Dave got arrested this weekend on a charge of murder after someone said to him that HTML is a programming language. He's trying to make bail, but it's a lot because of his previous convictions. Any donations or even support using the #FreeDave campaign will be appreciated.

I just dropped my office laptop !
😨😨😨😨
There is a crack on the corner of the body but the device is Ok !
I am worried they will charge me the whole cost of the laptop ( i.e. 3 months worth salary )

You know a company is ripping you off when they charge £79 for a fucking charger and it breaks in 1 year. Fuck you Apple

I'm curious, is email campaigns such as 'constant contact' part of a devs job? new job wants me to be in charge of this and I could not think of a worse job I would like to do.

I don't even check my own email!
I hate social media and suck at posting anything besides random useless memes.

REALLY??! Email campaign????

"My portable speaker can't charge anymore, can you fix it? "

No!

How much should I charge for a cronjob?

My first job was not exactly a job but a freelance project. The guy that I delivered the website to thought that I'd charge money each time I pressed a key on my laptop when we met.
Had to explain to the guy that that's not how it works. That's not how any of it works.

I was hired as a C++ dev, ended up doing full stack (React/Redox frontend, Djanho backend).

I was just an intern but by the time I was done there I was in charge of the whole frontend because the other guys quit.

Fuck that place.

!rant

Sooo... my 4 and a half-ish year old iPad (gen 3) has survived for over a 1000 hours on one charge!
And still going strong!

After 3 months and around 5 projects at my new job, I've finally come to the realisation that the developer in charge and I disagree on everything, all tech stack/browser compatibility decisions are made completely blindly and no matter what, the lead (full stack) dev refuses to take any of my frontend expertise/knowledge on board.

how did a startup become this rigid and terrible?

I already want to quit.

So, the company I’m working for is finally merging with its sister company. That means budget for upgrading our infrastructure. And guess who volunteered to be in charge of it, and future sysops. That’s me.

Previously we haven’t had anything close to a sysops, and our servers has been neglected and never updated nor upgraded since 2012. We even had a Windows Server 2012 running with rdp wide open...

Friend: Do you have a cable you can spare, so that I can charge my phone?
Me: Unless you have a type-c (port), yes.
Friend: No, I have Samsung.
Me: 😂😂😂😂
Friend: 😅

My friend is so fed up with his $400-per-month-internet-explorer-based POS, so I wrote him an UWP native app, only $40/month on AWS.

I'm thinking of continuing adding features until it mature enough and release it for free, but charge for cloud usage (if they use the cloud).

Anyone has experience in this? Im gathering info about the "must-have" features for small businesses.

I just want a goddamn option to “Never trust this computer. Never trust *any* computer” when I plug in my phone to charge.

Also, only got an hour of sleep. No idea why.

But woke up to find an emergency alert that we’re in flash flood territory, so that’s exciting.

Bless the service APIs that don't charge you for failed requests, that fucking on-site team almost cost my client 7k$, just because of a typo and an endless loop, that they pushed to production, while bypassing the rate and resource limit I set in place, because it "wasn't working" - it was working, you fucking cunts, it was preventing your system running wild for a reason.

Well. I was fresh software engineer. Was so excited to start working on real life codes.
They put me in charge of writing user manual. In 2 different languages 🤐

I don't have a rubber duck to debug... I have my own team.
P.S. Groot is in charge of the breakpoints... Because of... Well you know :s

An asshole ex-client who owes me in excess of $1000, and doesn't intend to pay, has left me on their Twilio administration (unknowingly clearly) panel. I have the option of requesting around 30+ Cayman Islands numbers to auto charge his card enough to offset the debt.

Hmmmm.

Scientists have found that If you just kill the Chrome process, it can give you enough charge to fully charge your Mobile Phone.

Hosting a PHP/MySQL application for a really wealthy NGO that must have paid thousands of dollars for the app, and everything works fine but no sanitised inputs and direct SQL statement execution. Just waiting for little Bobby Tables so I can charge them a fortune for recovery 😊

I might have got my first freelancing gig. It sounds like a really simple thing, might just take one hour or so.

So comes the eternal question from the freelancing noob: how much should I charge?

I'm thinking approximately the hourly pay I get from my full-time job. Does that make sense? Even though it might just take one hour?

Never got a friend through coding so far... Hope that changes, but first i want my avatar! :)

What the fuck

I just saw an ad for a RetroPi on Craiglist and they're trying to charge $300 for it 😂😂

When your Phone has 1% battery left and you are running faster than Usain Bolt to prevent a shutdown

That awesome moment when a fiverr client wants you to develop a cross platform mobile application that would share your battery charge(actual battery electricity power) via Wifi/Bluetooth. That too for a budget of $5. 🙄

Question :

- Should you charge your siblings/relatives for building software for them?

Just checked my laptop uptime and it's been on one charge for exactly 1 month, with average use and aggressive tlp/powertop settings 😰

My manager: Hey if you are stuck don't be afraid to go ask the team in charge of a module for help.

Also my manager when I dare to ask a team when stuck: I feel like we are wasting this other teams time. You should probably try to figure this out on your own.

Damned if I do, Damned if I don't.

fml

* Sending "less" data
* Number of ads won't change

Intern at Microsoft: Should I rephrase the messages so that it becomes a little bit subtle?
CTO(or whoever the fuck is in charge of rolling out windows update): Let it be direct and on the nose. Fuck this shit.

(Edit): Always forget to attach the image.

I email our CFO in January about an overcharge I noticed on an invoice, something we've been paying $120 a month for, not using, and never used the service. I suggested we contact the vendor and request the charge be removed and try for a credit.

Fast forward 2 months, vendor emails me to let me know that the service is being cancelled and they wanted to give me a heads up that I'll need to find another provider. I decide to go ahead and email back telling them that we haven't ever used the service and we shouldn't be paying for it. After 30 minutes on the phone I got the charge removed and got our account credited for the last 12 months.

Now to figure out how to word it to the boss without making it seem like I'm trying to throw the CFO under the bus for not doing his job.

so the bank has decided to charge me for sending me the sms notification for the sms- notification-charges

makes sense 🤨 ?

me: *starts receiving emails of clients having technical problems and errors and asking for help* wat, im being flooded with all these mails!
me: *sends email to boss* umm... i think im receiving the wrong mails...
boss: nope! from now on, you'll be in-charge of tech support for our clients. good luck and merry christmas!
me: *dies internally* happy holidays to u too

!rant

Just started an internship at a well put-together startup and ended up being in charge of project management as well. Having so much fun learning to be more independent and be a likeable manager. The tech stack in the tag.

So I own a small business that is a licensee of about a few hundred other ones. I wanted a mail list from the corporate office and they wanted to charge me. (we already pay them hundreds if not thousands a month) So I wrote a python script to scrape their website and get the info for free. I love programming!

Providing a web site to pay electricity and other services, but guess what? THE CONNECTION IS NOT SeCuRe !! (What can possibly can go wRoNg).
This retarded country have a lot of skilled people, but the dinosaurs who in charge are literally afraid of new technology.
Wake up bitches, it's almost 2020

hey dickhead, you could, at least, test everything is working after you merged your branch.Now you have leaving the company, i'm the one in charge of cleaning up your shit.

Hope you will eat a dick every time one of your program fail 'cause of your lack of test

I just learnt abt Stadia from Google!
They said “imagine a world where you don’t need expensive gaming hardware to play the next release.”

But my question is “will I need an expensive service to access that?”
Is it gonna be another Netflix thingy for game? For now I’m just thinking abt how much they’d charge for hosting the game on their server, wow.

Never buy a rechargeable mouse

Rant mode: The guy in charge of the database were working on cannot even add a few lines of data without deleting all the data in the table and reloading it using a wizard!

And he recently got a "Best D.B.A. Award"?!

This is why I don't trust those who brag about their certificates.

Translation: "how much do you charge/ to do this tattoo, about 70 cm/ on a guy who's not awake"

>pentester
Raised an issue with a web application for out client that was weak TLS protocols/cipher suites in use on the sever hosting their application.

Then I was asked to confirm that reissuing the certificate was the correct remidial action for fixing this...

Man, it's scary to think non-technical project managers are in charge of fixing this stuff...

As much as we like being elitists for a lot of shit:

I can either set a client with their own admin interface for authoring their content on their sites, spend hours configuring the shit they need and then spend more time setting up everything for a lot of additional shit.

Or

I can set them up with the newer versions of wordpress, call it a day and still charge for maintenance or adding pages to their shit and charge as if i was coding and preparing everything from scratch even though i would tell them It really is no problem charging billed hours for something that takes me minutes.

I dunno about y'all, but I ain't about to neckbeard over shit. I severely believe the hate to be displaced in current iterations of the cms.

People: cry how we are in an energy crysis, how expensive Li batteries are, how expensive and scarse are the resources and how wasteful the production process is

also people: pop 500mAh Li batteries in disposable e-cigs that get tossed away in the streets with ~75% of the charge left

me: picks those e-cigs, takes the batteries out, solders them in parallel and makes a proper powerbank for free

Yay! My first bash project :D
disclaimer - my bash is not pretty. yet.

Why I created it?
I encountered several footlong scripts in a new project at work. And they had no logging. And I am in charge of making it sing again. So here it is a tiny logging framework.

what do you usually charge for an average website? 🙂

Looking over a clients website to see what they paid for from the guy the previously paid thousands of dollars for.

End up with a personal dilemma of whether or not to let them know all they did was charge them a few thousand to host their Wordpress website on a godaddy server and it's just a generic theme not even customized for the client.

Changing the native browser scrollbar should warrant the death penalty.

Do not make it narrower. Do not make the colors blend with the background. Do not hijack it its functionality. Do not minimize it until I hover.

I am so fucking tired of websites that think they are in charge of my browsing "experience" and hide or otherwise marginalize the single most useful part of the page's UI.

Beware of scope creep. If it's a bug, fix it for free. If it's a new feature or changed from the original signed off scope, charge for it.

>uni project
>6 people in group
>3 devs (including me)
I am in charge of electronics and software to control it as well as the application that will use them.

2 other "devs" in charge of a simple website.
Literally, static pages, a login/registration, and a dump of data when users are logged in.

Took on writing the api for the data as well, since I didn't fully trust the other 2.

Finished api, soldered all electronics, 3d printed models.

Check on the website.

Ugly af, badly written html and css.
No function working yet.

Project is due next week Thursday.

Guess who's not having a weekend and gonna be pulling 2 all nighters

To the freelancers.

Do you offer web-hosting? What are your experiences? Where do you rent servers? What do you charge?

Thanks in advance

We are a small company, and our CEO and CTO attends our daily standups(not sure why)

At the end our CTO, after a little discission with our PM, goes: “This” is more importent and should be gone first - its money to the company.

Pm: Fine but then “that” wont be worked on for now.
Cto: ohh okay, but “this” is really importent, so do it first.

Standup done, people returns to work.
1 minut later, Cto comes into the dev room.

Cto: “something else” is also really really importent.
Pm: ok, so then we do “something else” instead and we will put “this” on standby for now.
Cto: and remember “operation” has the highest priority of all.

For fuck sake... just pick one or decide what it is you want....

Cto has no clue to what he is doing. Does not have a long term plan, other then get money into the company based on really short term goals.

Easy to say im not his biggest fan, and I am a 100% sure he knows this.

Hey, our air conditions are not free, so you really need to buy something else we charge you for the amount of air you have inhaled while sitting down.

I hate subscription-based payments.

Oh, you want to charge my credit card 90$ if I forget to remove it from your shitty website? Oh, well.

Why every day I have to fight for a charger cos the manager needs his phone on a constant charge from a power socket.

Fuck you and no I don't care that your shits gonna die now and yes, every fucking day we're doing this, don't fuck with me. My laptop > your phone and your ingress game

Taking charge of an existing project...

Me: "This certificate requires a password. Can you send it to me"
Other dev who was earlier responsible for the project : "Just use the default one"
Me: " And what's that?"
Other dev: "CHANGEIT"! All caps
Me: 😐

Well woke up to a new issue today my laptop ethernet goes down whenever i connect my power cable, so what am i to do pre-charge to gain internet access

My new phone - the Motorola C Plus - has insane battery life.
Took it off charge Monday 07:30am with 100% battery.
It's now Thursday 11:00pm and it still has 10% battery.
You're looking at 90 hours Standby right there. Damm, Motorola.
I put it on Airplane mode when I sleep and have the screen brightness turned down, but still.
That's impressive.

"Can you teach us how to do x? If not, how much would you charge for doing it yourself?"

Bitch, my time is valuable, if I teach you, I'm gonna charge you anyway...

my company uses svn for source control. just found out the guy in charge of the repo actually uses git and just has all developers use svn because "there's less of a learning curve". WHY?!?! Git is so much better!

How modern smartphone OSs (Android) deal with battery charge.

// handler for when the battery level changes
public void onLevelChange (BatteryInfo info) {
if(info.batteryLevel() < 99) Device.getBattery().drainAllCharge()
}

Client just said to me "we'll give you a 'speed' payment to deliver the website faster, you just charge us what you think is right". WTF!

Blank cheque time... :)

"Wow! Programming must be easy! Why did you charge us costly?"

Just because I work at home and talking to myself does not mean it easy...

PS. even now I still feel like noob in programming

Anyone else here that doesn't answer people that only write "hi" to initiate a conversation?

I always feel like they try to put me in charge of leading the convo. You wouldn't call someone and just say Hi, now would you?

I love the "charge your phone" comments on screenshots

When designers or clients design the smallest visual features that acording to them "should not take long" and they wont budge when you tell them it's stupid. I still charge more but its so fucking anoying.

Best comment of the day! Found on one of our clients code. (eCommerce)

// If you are full time then please don't refactor this code.
// if you are consultant then charge triple!

My python brings all the devs to the cloud,
cause my code is bigger than yours
damn right its cleaner than yours
I can teach you but I have charge

Client complaining about payment not working on their webshop.
Turns out client hasn't payed their bills at the payment provider for over a year. Wondering if we should charge them for finding this out.

My Gear S3's charger all of a sudden decided not to stop full charge when the watch was at 100%, so I came home to a watch that was flaming hot and going crazy with error messages that it's overheated, battery going down WHILE charging.

Tried it a few more times, never stops at 100% anymore

Samsung you fucking retards, thanks for trying to burn my house down (again)

I got two, both my internships sucked.

First one, I got hired for a C++ job, did JS for most of it. Half the team quit while I was there lol. I was in charge of the whole frontend when I left.

Second one, again half the team quit while I was there, leaving me with only ppl in Europe to talk to lmao.

Never buy a rechargeable mouse, you'll forget to charge it most of the time...

In two weeks of christmas holidays my brain had enough time to fire the guy that was in charge of my sleep pattern and to hire a new guy with less experience that is really trying hard to fix the mess that has been left for him.

Went to bed at 5am...
Woke up at 9am...
I'm getting there!

Today, a customer has demanded if I can fix its website i have deployed 5 years ago... "The fastest and free or charge please !"

My wife got me a new job, now I have to quite to the current one before Saturday, I'm currently in charge of every process in engineering area.😰

Couple of months ago a friend of mine got a new charge in the company as director of software development, he is an awesome person, always helping and trying to hear all opinions, but his wife also works there, she is an absolutely awful person, since the new charge of my friend she feels like the boss trying to control the time of the people, and the ways the things are done in the company, and if you don't agree she warns you about telling to his husband, but my friend just try to calm down the things and get to an agreement in both parts. So I mean, bro you are an excellent boss but you should put limits on your wife, at least in the job.

Plugging in my phone into my computer doesn't charge it but it definitely makes it die slower 😂😂

Never put an optimist in charge of the money.

Ideally they shouldn't be in charge of anything, but especially not the money.

Question for my programing elders.
I am a high school student. If/when I am asked to make a client a website, what is the general price that I should charge? (Remember, I am a slightly inexperienced american highschooler, so I don't want to over or under charge them for my work)

We had to implement our own sorting algorithm for a Linkedlist. My teammate was in charge of implementing this. I took a look at his algorithm when he pushed his changes. He was transforming the Linkedlist into an array, sorting it, then re-creating the linkedlist from the array.

If Angela Merkel, Julia Gillard and Bernie Sanders were in charge of the internet, what would change?

My phone is officially losing charge with TurboCharge and I can't turn it off as alarms won't go off..
Might need to return to my old *shivers* iPhone

Build my own business entirely with free/libre software. Generate at least a decent supplementary income from services while still providing source code free of charge.

Worked all weekend with a couple friends on a side project and it's finally done. A shame I had to pull all the weight and fix my friend's lazy coding.

And then he had the nerve to try to charge me for the chili he made use for dinner one night. Asshole.

I'm reluctantly in charge of my company... for now. Trying to avoid any of those fancy, personally cringe-worthy, titles like owner, boss, acronyms starting with a C.

My solution, suits our unique branding, is having my role as:
DragonOverlord

Any arguments as to it actually being a position are quickly thwarted, as it's obviously a class.

NDAs for me are a good predictor for a bad client or client relationship.

Doesn't work so well for larger cos, and it's not unusual for them to require one anyway.

I charge a fairly high flat fee for signing one. The people who won't pay probably don't need the NDA anyway and were going to be problematic.

Nicely done! Ifixit! Charge 2.99 for 1/4 coin!

Started a new job, then I found out that the salary of the person in charge of me has lower/same as I have.

How did I know? I looked at the API without authentication of all the list of employees.

Luckily, I didn't sign the contract yet

My laptop decided to not turn on or charge anymore in times where I needed it a lot and when repairment funding is not the best. Thank you, universe

I was waiting for my wife in the shopping centre and noticed a shop sellung e-scooters. My my, what monsters can you buy with a few k€ :o I'm genuinely surprised!

The baddest monster: 3k: dual-notor, can carry >150kg of your fat ass. Takes ~12hours to charge, but, read this: with a single charge you can travel 150km! Max speed is 90km/h

i mean... I'm feeling quite confident riding a motorcycle at that speed, because I can bend down, because it weights a few hundred kilos and is not that sensitive to wind and road bumps.

But riding standing at that speed... Without any cover, with a vehicle weighting 50kg,.. Would you?

When you're on GitHub *Free* and your account gets disabled cuz they're unable to charge your card..

Well. I've postponed switching to GitLab long enough.

c'est la vie.. i guess.

everything would run so much better if I were in charge....

Recruiter: we're looking for someone who knows .Net and "JAVA practices".

Me: <WTF is "java practices">
Me: <googling "java practices">
Me: dear recruiter, I know dotNet and good programming practices but there isn't thing like "java practices" in dotNet.

Recruiter: <no shit given>

Me: <why such incompetency is in charge of my potential future job?>

Today the government from Costa Rica announced their solution to tax double any UBER charge registered to debit/credit cards.

Their logic is to pretty much do it for any commerce that includes the letters UBER. Like something out of your first Unity C++lesson

Lenovo T series laptops are amazing. I've purchased one in 2010, it was too good to be true and used for 5-6 years, forgot about it after I upgraded to Mac. Didn't touch for ~2.5 years, turned on today for my nephew. It is still working like charm, even the battery holds charge for 2hours, I'm impressed 👍

Yeeeeaaa, fuck apple, my google pixel can literally charge my thinkpad like six times or so

A potential client wants me to fix a critical bug on their app. She wants us to book a call so she can explain the issue to me.

Because so many clients have wasted my time in the past, I want to charge her some $$$ for the call. However, if the gig goes through, it’ll be deducted from her bill.

Does this make any sense?

Have you ever felt that you did such a piss poor job that you don’t even want to charge the client for it?

Right...

So some asshole just tried to charge me 200 euro paid to Plugin Media Group A.G.

Couldn't get pass 3ds but still...

If you have made an order with OnePlus cancel your card. Today

Just spent the whole week trying to build an Ionic app for iOS. Of course, I don't have a Mac.

I should charge Apple for the enormous amount of time I lost because of their f***ing policy. Seriously guys ? We're in 2018.

Hey devRanters, how do you charge your phone?

1) Let ist almost drop to about 1-5%, and then let it charge fully up over night, and keep it plugged in till morning.
2) Just let it drop about 10-20% and charge it immediately up, and unplug it, when it reaches full charge

Hey Guys
Safety Question.
If I charge a 220v capacitor with 5v... Does it accumulate up to 220v or just the voltage I give it? Thanks

Agency developers, what do you do with bugs. If bugs come up after a year do you charge your customers? Or do you have maintenance agreements?

Is it polite/appropriate to tell a recruiter that I'll get in touch with them in several weeks? Their offer's really interesting, but right now I'm in charge of a large project and I don't want to leave it unfinished.

When your legacy retarded old as fuck frameworks are slowly dying and instead of migrating to new backend framework, losing some money but improving quality of our products dipshits in charge hire vue.js developer to try to replace jquery with vue just to keep this 10 years old legacy zombie crap alive for 2 more years..

How can you be this fucking retarded greedy motherfucking morons... it shouldnt even be possible

So I have some XSDs for integrating with a third party supplier, which I need to convert to java classes. Easy, jaxb to the rescue!

Now when it comes to checking into source control, do I either a) check in generated files (bad) , or b) check in the XSDs and have maven generate my classes each time the project is packaged using its jaxb plugin (good).

Of course the senior dev picks option a), purely because some people in charge of support may not understand maven.

Why do I have to do things the wrong way because people don't want to learn/are incompetent? Why are there people in charge of support who don't understand simple tools?

That nice feeling, when your laptop battery has 10% of charge left and you *know* you still have a good half an hour to do whatever you're doing before you have to worry about it.

You're more likely to finish your task than run out of juice.

This brings all kinds of satisfactory feelings 😌

so for the past yr i have been unofficially a lead on a project, i wasnt officially a lead but i was the one in control of everything in it and got to do decisions.

the project itself was horrible, and i was the only one who delved into it and understood it thats why everyone relied on me i guess.

recently PMs took charge of it after i told them i want to do something else. now they are bossing the hell out of me to finish their new stuff in that project. Now i hate every second of my job.

i regret telling them i am unhappy with the project because at least i was the only one responsible for it. maybe long term that would have been a good reason to be promoted. but now they took charge so im afraid i wont get promoted anytime soon.

fuck my life if that case i might as well start anew in another company

My coworker cannot log in to his company email account. So I contacted the guys in charge of this by email, asking if they could help and asked whats the process now or how does this work. I assume if his email is not working, they cannot send him a password reset link.

their answer: yeah, sure, we reseted the password of the mentioned user, here is his new password

Battery life worth some sloppy seconds is part of all mobile devices nowadays, mainly because it's standard by now to charge all your devices in your dedicated charging room, stacked with millions of chargers, where you connect thousands of devices before you go sleep. (dont forget to put your smart pillow on charge too)

Having a day or two worth of battery life in a laptop with normal use or a phone that can easily power through heavy usage for 3-4 days or more is really just so rare.

I can see how all mobile processors jumped multiple thousands of generations with power consumption, but that doesnt help, if companies just put a thin layer of battery to actually power it.

I am so glad I am finally again able to have both a laptop and a mobile phone that don't force me to charge all the time or carry around my huge battery packs.

A full day of my new phone gets me only down to 75-80% and I really started appreciating again, how just a slightly thicker phone can make such a huge change.

When your phone battery drops randomly from 50% to 16% im 1p minutes... Like your phone feels when you're far far away from your charger and and you're not gonna be able to charge in 2-3 hours

RIP my laptop 2016-2018. This fucking shit just won't charge anymore. Battery holds, laptop works when I take out battery, but it just won't charge...I read somewhere that it is fucked up motherboard so if it is true, RIP lol.

Have you ever gotten a job working on a project you generally understand conceptually, and on day one, with zero knowledge of the specifics, you are now in charge of said project with no one to ask about the standards or procedures?

Then again, why would you ask anyone, after all, you're in charge.

When will managers understand that there is a huge difference between a UX designer and a graphical designer?!

FML. The time wasted trying to explain that the proposed GUI is rubbish because they put a graphical designer in charge of planning the entire application flow..

Wanna be rich? Become an independent privacy officer! Rent yourself only to companies that have their shit together and charge thousands just for being a security expert!

Every larger company needs one, but almost none have an employee lawfully qualified to be one... 🤑

Bug is not fixable

I get these as I have to submit security issues as bugs and then help whoever is in charge of the fixing find and implement a good solution. But apparently , nope . In some devs opinion , sqli issues are not fixable .

I need to shoot some QAs out of a cannon. Not being trained in artillery ballistics, this is a challenge. Does any kind soul have suggestions for correct charge quantities, caliber, and trajectory projections? Thanks in advance.

I just bought this electrical device and it takes 4 days to charge! WTF!

Do you still charge your clients extra for HTTPS being it’s practically a requirement now for SEO purposes?

So I’m writing this random number generator app just because so many apps charge you for this simple thing and posted my progress somewhere else. And this guy just commented: you can do it in python in 2 lines

Bitch, I know… the whole point is to not open python whenever needed and save my settings so I can use them later

God damn

I just downloaded battery monitor app to figure out why my new phones battery is draining so quickly...

The app says though it's best to charge only up to 80%.

But logically if this were true, shouldn't the manufacturer adjust for it themselves so that when Android says 100... In reality it's actually 80?

StackOverflow gatekeepers: "Voting is already communicating." Maybe it is, but in such a minimal way like an error message saying "an error occurred". Sadly this is current UX as well as long as nerds are in charge. Sometimes I feel ashamed to be a developer. Are we human or robots?

I've just started freelancing on PeoplePerHour. I'm in talks to secure a job migrating a C# webapp to a desktop scenario using HTML5 embedded within WPF, but I've never done this as a solo project before. What sort of price is sensible to charge for this? I'm working in GBP

Those of you with an app or productivity web service, do you charge monthly? If so, why? I understand if it is your primary source of income, but do you have ethical or integrity reasons related to price? I've been contemplating this lately and I'd like more Dev input.

There seems to be a market for custom 3D printer firmware, consulting and debugging. What should I charge for something like this? I live in Germany and this will be a side quest.

Freelancers/self-employed IT-consultants, how much do you charge per hour? Also, do you have any certificates or other things that boost your pay?

Damn DHL reminded me again of the level of service Australia Post is lacking... $50 delivery from P.R.C, promised to deliver in 5 days and delivers in 3 days. Australia Post would charge $45 to send the same parcel from Sydney to Melbourne, with no guaranteed delivery time-frame due to, hold your breath, COVID-19.

Ant Design, the popular UI kit system, is created by Ant Group, the company in charge of Chinese social rating system.

The more you know.

"Oh I knew they'd say that it's why I didn't get them to test it "

Did these words really just come out of your mouth? Who the fuck left you in charge of planning this shit?

Some team manager requested dev work it got approved and done standard. However they knew from the get go their team would rip it apart so when it came to the testing phase did he get his team to use it?

No he pulled fucking random people from other teams who don't use this feature at all in their day to day to test and sign it off.

Sod your vision mate. Our team just lost two months of work your team's productivity has dropped because you had a picture of how things should be but didn't want to be told no. And for a fucking valid reason your method is shit.

Don't think he'll be left in charge of a project anytime soon.

My last workplace would fit to that tag quite well.

CTO who was also in charge of firing / laying off people is a code nazi that forced everyone to use some absurd code styling.

So after having a rather shit day at work I notice that my phone (samsung s7 edge) is at 50% and indecide to fast charge it...then i notice it "Fast charging, 55 minutes till ready" great....fucking....great. please don't tell me that the battery is fuckd up...i really do not need this

What's a fair rate range to charge as a Junior Web Developer? If you're interested in why the hell I'm asking, I'm going to try out Upwork despite knowing it's a mostly bad idea.