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Search - "jesus christ"
I've always tried to live by the philosophy that you should never burn bridges, but my god some recruiters make it very difficult. I've had a handful of occasions where I've had to type out a nasty email to a recruiter and then just not send it after I realized I wouldn't want it getting around/you never know who they known.
The latest incident where I did this was with a recruiter who emailed me 3 times within a week. But my issue wasn't with the amount of emails or even the fact that he was shopping me frontend positions despite my resume clearly stating I'm a backend dev/data engineer.
My issue was... THE GUY FUCKING REFERRED TO HIMSELF AS "BATMAN". That's right - an adult human being so desperate to get the attention of developers that he set his email name to "Batman", signs his emails "Full name - A.K.A. Batman", and lists his phone number like "BatPhone: xxx.xxx.xxxx"
If I didn't find him so pretentious and he actually sent me a kind of relevant position, what would I do? Pick up the phone and call him and say "hey Batman." Jesus fucking Christ. What an absurd gimmick. Maybe I'm overreacting but it seems so childish.
And you know what, if the guy read my resume and sent me relevant stuff I probably would have said "meh, he's doing good work, if he wants to stand out/be silly whatever." But no, he didn't even look at my skills. Instead he thought 3 shitty emails where he called himself Batman would convince me to write back to him.
I was close to sending him a ridiculous response and signing it "Robin", but decided it wasn't worth it.30
Hi there fellas,
I'm new to devrant and I'll like to share with you my first story.
It was my first payed job. A good friend of mine (media designer in print) called me "My customer needs a website, do you think you can do that?"
At this time I've never build a single page, so my answer was "Of course, easy-peasy".
She told me it was a family business and a nationwide player in finance sector.
I met the CEO, did my research and build a prototype. Well, the CEO and his staff liked it so I finished the website and prepared for the first review.
I booted the laptop and tried to connect to their network. There was none. They just never had a wireless connection not a single cable in the entire office. That was the time I realized that I work for a family business.
The CEO was an ancient guy who probably saw Jesus Christ hanging on the cross in personal and internet is weird thing controlled by the devil himself.
I took the laptop and went over to the CEOs personal office, plugged the network cable out of his Computer and into the laptop. Finally I could show them what I've done.
He took a look at it and called for his assistant. "Might you print that website for us?" That was my second wtf moment.
The assistant returned with a half chopped down and bleached rainforest that contained an image of their new website.
I tried to tell him that a website on paper can't show him the functions n shit, but he looked at me like I was talking two foreign languages at once.
So we reviewed the website on paper and his one and only problem was the size of the letters. "I can't read it well, please make the text bigger" At this moment I wanted to hit my forehead on the table and tell him that it is normal to have readings difficulties when you are walking the shores of Styx.
At the end everything went well, but I realized that dealing with customers is a lot more difficult than developing something for them. The future should prove me right.
My first story about my first job.
Thank you for reading 😊12
Jesus fucking christ, entering w3schools.com (don't ask) and I immediately get a cookie consent thing shoved in my face.
WHY?! Please don't tell me it's so I can get the 'best experience' because that's straight out bullshit. I don't need cookies and you fucking name it to get 'the best fucking experience' while looking up again how that one PHP or HTML or CSS or WHAT-THE-FUCK-EVER thing worked.
E-v-e-r-y GODDAMN site has this nowadays, to 'improve my experience' - I block ads anyways so what's the motherfucking point?!
Mother of FUCKING god.
I have single-handedly gotten our enterprise-level organization off of SVN and onto Git. I am the lord Jesus Christ almighty.4
Tl;Dr: People who make coffee their entire personality and people who do those shitty "if tired == true: drinkCoffee" type posts really annoy me.
Can I just say how much I fucking hate "rants" like these in my fucking feed?
No hard feelings to the poster, I'm sure you're a lovely person, and this rant is directed towards so many more people on this platform and not just you but oh my fucking god people who say this type of shit make me so fucking bored.
Like, yes, you want to drink coffee, that is a completely normal and basic thing for people who need energy. Drink some fucking coffee and be done with it then, instead of ranting about it on your shitty ass online profile where literally everybody-fucking-else is in the exact same boat as you.
You're not special, you're not interesting because you want to drink coffee, you are literally consuming liquid, that is quite possibly the most primitive and basic thing you can do, why the fuck should I care about your shitty ass caffeine addiction, as if it somehow represents your entire fucking personality?
It's almost like you people think drinking coffee is a fucking developer-only thing now, like no, people actually just drink coffee normally, yet still all I fucking see is "haha look guys I'm a coder I drink coffee aren't I just so original", it's like a fucking coffee cult.
I don't need to hear about your fucking caffeine addiction, I could bet the majority of people on this platform are the same way. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing wrong with coffee or even a caffeine addiction but people who feel like it somehow fucking defines them are so fucking annoying it is unbelievable.
It's almost like a circlejerk of coffee-drinkers at this point, like "haha guys we all drink coffee because we're TIRED haha it's FUNNY guys PLEASE LAUGH".
And that brings me onto another thing, although it's somewhat more justified considering the theme of the platform. This entire place feels like a fucking circlejerk of programming.
Don't get me wrong, I'm no elitist, I'm quite possibly the least skilled person on this site, honestly, but the amount of people who make those shitty-ass "if tired == true: drinkCoffee" type posts confuse me so much. You throw together some broken Python code in like 7.2s referencing how you need sleep or you code all night or some shit and people eat that shit up like it's their fucking religion, like what the fuck?
It's somewhat more excusable since the site itself is based around developers but jesus christ it annoys me for this exact reason, like yes, you can "code". Most of us can. It's why we're here, for fuck sake.
Sorry for such a long rant, if you've gotten this far, I want to say both Thank You and Sorry.50
My brother just called me asking for help in some MS server thing and I'm like "I don't know that!" (I really don't), and he replied "Yeah, you know, mom told me to call you to ask for help.". Jesus Christ. Just because I'm in CS it doesn't mean I know everything informatics-related.
I now know your pain, devRanters. I usually don't mind being the IT support (so much that my parents call me to help them when their computers decide to randomly die or do something weird because of something they've done, but I live like 300km away because of uni so I can't just go there and help them. Sometimes I say "Ask your son" (he's taking a tech course in high school), but my brother cuts out of it like "I don't know how to fix it" without even looking at it sometimes. Well duh, me neither at times, but google is your friend damn it. Sometimes I search for the answers. Other times I just poke around in the program until I find what's wrong. Either way, when I say I don't know and/or I can't really do much about it they give me the usual "We're paying your uni fees for what?" (in a joking tone but. I'M NOT STUDYING FOR THAT, I WANNA BE A GAME DEV DAMN IT)), but goddamn it I don't know everything just because I am a CS student. I wanna help but sometimes I can't. Deal with that >:V8
FOR JESUS FUCKING CHRIST ALMIGHTY, IN ALL THAT IS HOLY OF FUCK. I AM ACTUALLY
Not angry at all, I just really like swearing7
So after using my new MacBook I have 1 complaint... This fucking escape soft button being away from the edge, I understand you want to do symmetry with the finger print scanner but Jesus Christ it's annoying!
Edit: yes it's a minor issue but you notice it during use more than you think43
How reading E-Mail is hard:
please send the pictures for content A and Content B.
We also found content C in your spreadsheet. Do you want content C to be uploaded? Please us where to place it.
Me (who does not consider this a difficult text)
"Hello. Please find attached the pictures for A"
Thank you for the pictures for A.
What about the pictures for B?
And what about that content for C?
(Looking at the attachment and finding pictures for A and B)
Please look at the new iteration <here/>
And by the way.. what about that content C?"
"Thanks and find the images for Content C attached."
Extremely fatalistic and desolate Me:
"Well thank you. Where shall we put it then?"
Client (answer to the unanswered mail above)
"Thank you. Please don't forget to put in C."
How do I un-idiot my users when it comes to clicking on dodgy email-links??
Got a forwarded email just there from a user who said;
Is the below ok to open?
I just tried but got a popup saying I've been blocked from opening it.
I'm not sure who it is coming from and I am not waiting on anything but as it says its from dropbox and is important, i know it's okay.
Can you unblock the link ASAP please?
This is really impeding my work-day as I need to know what it is and act accordingly.
The Original email came from a random jumble of letters with a subject line of 'important dropbox program' - not only does it look dodgy but its english is horrible! It said;
"Hi tu my freind,
You tu still read a pending verrry important document sent by one of your own contact to be vieweddd.
Install "Highly Confidential english.pdf" by clickinggg here
*insert link leading to something called 'viral-update-trojan.exe'*"
I mean, seriously... help!!! 😢
We have sent emails explaining how to hover over links and to not to click them if it looks wrong.
No one does it.
We hired a company to send fake phishing emails to train users in what to do.
It made no difference!
We now make people 'verify' their email addresses when opening any sort of link to try get them to actually look at what they're opening.
We also strip emails of original attachments and create 'safe' html copies as we can't trust them to look at what they're opening.
Everyone complains about it but Jesus Christ, this is why!!!
Its so exhausting!! What is wrong with people!!! Argh!!! 😤16
An engineer was working on a windows server. Needed to partition something so typed 'part' in the windows search thingy (windows 10).
Few results found:
Part time working
Engineer: Jesus fucking Christ I just want the FUCKING partitioner, windows what the actual fuck.26
So WhatsApp introduced number linking (with facebook) to its users a while ago.
I know a lot of people who opted out (this option was introduced by facebook because of european laws) because they didn't want their number linked. They said that it infringed their privacy (or however the fuck you spell that).
A few months later we found out that that checkbox thingy didn't do anything and facebook would link everything anyways. They got a 10 million euro fine I thought.
I found one thingy very disturbing though. Told some friends about the ability to opt out (when the scandal hadn't happened yet) and they did right away.
Then later on the scandal became public.
Told them about that.
'Oh but I don't have anything to hide, it's alright!'.
Jesus fucking christ how deep can people sink?! First you say that you opt out because you don't want your fucking data linked and when the fucking scandal gets public you act like everything is fine because 'you have nothing to hide anyways'.
I'm gonna be honest with you guys.
I need a friend. A real friend. And I'm looking for one (or many) among you.
Is any of you interested in being my friend?
I know, it sounds weird. My inner self bully is bringing to mind many adjectives for saying that: faggot, weak, snowflake, gay, pussy, clingy, demanding.
I know. But I'm at the edge of 30 and I think it's better if I cut the shit and just be very clear about the type of friend I'm looking for.
I need people that will be there when the shit gets tough.
I can joke with you,
I can laugh my ass off with you,
I can passionately argue about what's the better programming language.
But most importantly, I can be there when you're depressed, when you want to punch your boss in the face, when you're griefing a loved one that is gone.
And that exactly what I'm looking in a friend.
I used to have friends in life, but a variety of circumstances caused some distance: commitments, personality changes, physical distance, or just a feeling that they don't give two shits about me.
Am I the perfect friend? Not at all. I have a temper and am quite opinionated about my tools, but most of the times I try to be a not-asshole.
I might get angry and be very honest when I don't like something, but it would be very weird for me to turn my back on a friend.
It is impossible for someone to be friends with and to like everyone. But the least I can do is just give anyone a chance.
I think friendships are just things that take time and grow if there is enough care put into them.
Here's my discord chirptune#1829, so if you add me, please let me know your username here.
I think it'd be cool to have like a brotherhood on discord or slack of people looking out for each other (jesus christ, that sounds corny as fuck)
Not to rob people from devrant, I just think that the board style can't fulfill deeper social needs imo, that's all.18
long rant = this;
Jesus. Fucking. Christ.
The task: get Windows 7 on my mom's new Lenovo running win 10.
First idea: dual boot. Go into disk utility and shrink win 10 partition leaving empty partition. Easy!
Unfortunately it all went downhill from there.
Restart, can't get into boot menu. Google says you have to do that from Windows. Ok.
Laptop says BOOTING FROM CD IS NOT SUPPORTED. WTF??
Go into BIOS, enable legacy boot, prioritize legacy. Restart. Ok, it boots from disk.
Go to install 7 on the empty partition and it can't because its an unsupported partition format or some shit. Whatever, wipe everything. Ok, installing windows.
Windows installed, need drivers. Go download them with another computer and go to copy them over with USB disk. Windows doesn't detect it. THIS POS DOESN'T HAVE STANDARD USB DRIVERS?!?!?
Of course, the laptop didn't come with any driver software. I end up burning a fucking CD like its fucking 2001 so that I can get the goddamn wifi driver on it.
Ok, I have wifi. Go to Lenovo site, find driver page. Select all the drivers I want for the model/OS and click download. Lenovo site says "hey, use this driver update software." I'm like, hey asshole, why don't you just give me the drivers i asked for. But fine.
Driver update software downloads, I install it, nothing happens. I run it, it says it's already running. Still nothing. What the goddamn flipping fuck?
I go download the drivers individually. I try to install USB driver. It says my system is not supported. .............Try to install chipset driver, not supported. ............ I can install maybe half of the drivers and I still can't even use a fucking USB mouse. Gonna have to wait for windows update to find it sometime two days from now.
I hope everyone in charge of Lenovos fucking ass backwards pointless piece of useless fucking shit drivers gets raped to death with a serrated knife.20
It's fantastic how you blame me, the back-end developer, for the things that the manager, business analyst, and front-end developer missed.
The front-end developers didn't make the user interface and admitted they didn't get to do it and outright forgot about it due to workload, oh it must be the back-end guy's fault for not asking them. You, the manager, have no fault here at all. Why are they overloaded again? And they, as the developers who totally missed out, were just innocent creatures who "were not informed".
The business analyst admits that he thought I was the front-end developer even though I corrected him during the first meeting where he said, "Oh okay, so Rutee is the back-end and <this other guy> is the front-end." EVEN THOUGH every day, we have a meeting and you see my JIRA ticket in all caps "BACK-END". Ever thought about asking? Then the manager comes in there and says, "No, it's not your fault. We as a team should take responsibility. That's how smart teams work." And yet your fucking face, I hate your face, man, and your fucking insinuations. I swear you're all just looking for a scapegoat, now it's making sense why you borrowed me.
While I'm doing my job here minding my own task and knowing that shit has been assigned to the proper person, the manager, business analyst, and other developers who's been in this project for years never bothered to ask for updates regarding the front-end until now. Why is back-end making noise the past few weeks? Because someone is WORKING on it. Someone is RAISING issues. Someone is CLARIFYING the requirements.
I had my own problems. Your requirements are severely lacking, your setup fucking sucks and doesn't fucking work, there were issues and dependencies from several other teams, and now it's my fault that I didn't ask about the front-end? How is that? I create the API, you fucking call it. If anything, you should be asking me about the endpoint but I guess I have to do EVERYTHING and know EVERYTHING in this project where I was just borrowed and I'm technically the new guy here.
I guess it's a "let's blame the new guy" game around here. You can hire the most senior of all developers you can but no one can ever just guess or read your fucking minds. You can't just put someone in one project and expect them to know all your processes, your repositories, your developers, your fucking uncommitted code changes THROUGH EXPERIENCE and PROGRAMMING LANGUAGE PROFICIENCY. This has nothing to do about proficiency and being proactive. I can be proactive TO AN EXTENT. I can't do YOUR job for you.
Jesus fucking Christ. This project is so disorganized and yet you can't acknowledge that. Then I would get an advice from someone else that we should have talked while front-end is there. He WAS, he's even on the invite. Every fucking time shit hits the fan, you all get a week to fix something and I get a couple of hours or a day. Issue two weeks ago? Resolved Friday after my shift, yet I managed to deliver the next morning. Issue last week? Resolved Friday afternoon, yet I managed to deliver before end of day.
"This is the first time this happened." I highly doubt that. You just want to correlate my *new* presence to your failure so you can insinuate that the new guy is to blame. Your team sucks. Your management sucks. "Oh, that's just how he manages, he tells you the end goal and it's up to you to THINK what you have to do." I did THINK but why the hell do I have to THINK for them or for everybody else?
So yes, another rushed deadline. Another excuse for the slacking pieces of shit, "Oh, I can't do my job because back-end doesn't have this other endpoint I need for this one. Guess I'll go home." When did you say you need another one? "Just now. But you should have known earlier if you asked." IF I ASKED. At what point of my life would I randomly ask, "Do you need this endpoint that isn't part of the requirements but does this/that?" where "this/that" is some functionality I know nothing about because it was never discussed.
Seriously, fuck you and your fucking requirements. You fucking lazy pieces of shit cunt whore motherfucker. I hate all of you. You ruined my entire fucking month. How do you expect this to be less chaotic when you defend the slackers and punish the ones who actually do their jobs and use them as scapegoats?
Three more fucking days, man, and I'm out of this shit. When I get back, I hope you don't bother me with this shit anymore. Your mom's a hoe and I'm accepting calls from recruiters anyway.25
Jesus Christ. Dagger2's documentation has got to be the most convoluted shit I have ever laid my eyes on.
The sheer mental gymnastics I had to do to get through this one line at 2:30 am...11
Me a while ago talking to a recruiter over the phone. This was for a C++ dev position.
(R)ecruiter : So except for the development things, we are looking for someone who has experience configuration linux. Do you have any experience with that?
(M)e : Sure, I use Linux all the time. What do you mean.
R : Well, Just using Linux isn't enough for this position, you need to have experience in configuration Linux.
M : Well. I can't answer your question if you don't specify what you mean. Do you mean that I need to be able to install my own packages? Set up my dev environment? Bash scripting? Being able to configure my bash profile to have good aliases? Use Linux to develop software? Because I can do all of these.
M : Or do you need someone who can write Kernel modules for the OS, because I don't have any experience in that but would like to learn.
R : Oh, I don't really know what it means. But the paper says that you need to have experience configuration Linux. So what would you say your experience with that is?
Me internally : JESUS CHRIST I JUST TOLD YOU WHAT I KNOW AND WHAT I DON'T KNOW HOW ARE YOU GOING TO ASSESS ME CORRECTLY.
Me 😎 : I use Arch and you have to set it up completely from the ground by your self so I know everything there is to know.
Basically every question was like this with the recruiter. I got further in the process but quit because the workplace looked like it would drain my soul when I got interviewed by the employees of the company.
Jesus Christ though, some recruiters could be replaced by an automated phone system.17
This company has been a "start-up" for 5 years farming money off of fucking idiots using a shitty CMS.
- The senior dev gets paid 15/hr
- No use of version control or testing
- the CEO has no fucking knowledge about tech.
and you wonder why it's FAILING?! I'm surprised you guys stayed afloat this long, jesus fucking christ.5
100% focused, balls-deep in the zone, not sure I could have recalled my own name if you'd asked me...
Suddenly out of nowhere, someone's asking me about a job I worked on over a week ago. I'm mostly answering in just a few syllables, struggling to surface from 20 layers of Call Stack.
This goes on for a full 5 minutes before they say, "sorry were you busy?"
No, I was just about to beat Solitaire.
Of course I was fucking busy jesus fucking christ, did you not see all that code and shit on my fucking screen when you suddenly and urgently had to disturb me?10
Oh god, my first proper rant...
Ok, I am finally fucking sick of all these people shit talking game engines because some people make shitty games with them.
What does it matter what game engine someone uses, unreal engine, game maker, unity, it doesn't matter what you use.
If you think an engine is shit, make your own engine from scratch with all your code, Jesus Christ people -.-10
I'm leaving my job.
That had already been decided when I learned that the only other front end guy at the company put in his two weeks notice. I immediately decided that I was morally obligated to put in my 4 months notice to give the company enough time to find a replacement (because, contrary to the beliefs of some programmers, front end plays a critical role in web dev).
With only 2 weeks left, I was put on his project to do some "simple design work".
Jesus christ in heaven alive and dead...
I've never in my career seen CSS with such an intense level of specificity -- nobody on that team should have ever let that code get so out of control.
I've spent the past week cursing, walking out of the room, whispering "I can't believe you've done this", ranting to non-developer friends.
Here's an example: the application has a panel used all over the place with a header and a body. Every Single View has it's own duplicated panel, each with its own unique class names and CSS. And that's just one element.
Every view has hundreds of lines of duplicated CSS. Every button, link, list, all with unique styles.
To any junior developer reading this, please hear me: Write one block of CSS for any element that will be reused. DO NOT duplicate your code when it can be used over and over.
YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT!
I have nothing against teaching and showing someone starting in this field how to do things but FOR FUCKS SAKE, PUT INTEREST IN IT, I WON'T DO YOUR FUCKING JOB, I HAVE MY JOB, YO DO YOURS.
Jesus...fucking Christ, these kind of people always get on my nerves.2
TL; DR: please save me from IT hell
Note 1: this is a rant that comes after a couple other rants I'm going to call "family business saga" from now on because I feel like this is gonna go on for a while
Note 2: the following may look exaggerated but it's because of how pissed off I am at said person
So I have to help this one family member with his computer but he's worned me out so much last summer that I can't stand him (it's all tech based). At all. Both in person and via text calls. I dread and become pissy each time he's nearby, just his presence makes me want to jump in a hole and stay there for eternity.
And he's not the smartest cookie in the jar when it comes to tech, so he comes to me for help (instead of going to my brother. Aaagh why doesn't he go for my brother as well, it's mentally tiring having to "help" him - as he doesn't learn what I'm trying to teach him even after several attempts). I don't really mind being sought for help when it comes to tech, but this guy takes it one step further.
He entered my room with his computer in his hands saying this friend of his has installed W7 on his PC (why didn't he handle all the things he wants to do, it would save me a lot of anger containment) and that I *had* (it's always "YOU HAVE" because I'm a tech-ish person and I'm in uni for CS) to help him do a bunch of things.
So he boots up the thing and there are 32 updates to do, so I'm guessing that he didn't boot it up after the OS update until now. He leaves my room and I sigh out of relief. He comes back with the AC remote complaining it's too hot in my room and that he's gonna put it down a degree or 2. Jesus christ do not tamper with my AC settings, it's fine to me. The updates are still going on. He leaves again.
The computer takes its time to update and so does he. I'm happily playing minecraft when he comes back, the computer off after updating. He looks at it and says "why is it off?". I reply back "it finished updating.", trying to keep my cool. Even the most simple questions are irritation inducing.
He reboots it and lets it run. After it boots and it's ready to go he just stays there for like 2' without doing anything because the hard drive light was going off. I think he thinks the computer is going to explode if he touches it while the light is blinking 😬
He goes to connect the computer to the internet and gets all surprised that the computer doesn't recognize our home's internet (he has been here before with his computer, I guess, so he had connected, so I think he was expecting it to auto connect like that). I tell him that the computer doesn't recognize our home's connection because it has had a fresh OS installation and so it didn't have any connection registered. He types in the password and the connection is established.
He them starts going on about that he wants to get these pics on the business' website and how does he put them in his computer and all that. I do that for him and he's all like "how did you do that?? 😮" like it's a magic trick
And he's always going on at everything as if it's all a big undoable thing. "How do I do this? You know what, do it yourself and show me because I don't wanna fail". Dude. Bro. Everything - EVERYTHING - you are afraid of doing is undoable. EVERYTHING. Good christ.
I swear I've never felt so glad I'm going back for uni next week9
Jesus Christ Reddit really is full of some sensitive ass basement dwelling retards. God forbid someone doesn't contribute to the circle jerk mentality that literally every fucking subreddit has.
I bet SO users spend their free time there.13
*30 sec full screen ad* OR "please turn off your adblocker and refresh"
"Would you like to take a survey?"
"Click to read more"
"You've reached your free articles for the month. Please subscribe!"
Jesus fucking Christ! Is it such a sin to read articles in peace? How does anybody use your shitty site. How does anybody PAY for your shitty site?! Fuck your articles. Why do companies think this is a good model?!5
I hate it when people become hostile towards others who earn more than them and talk trash about how they deserve it more than others. It's not those people's fault that you have no balls to negotiate your own salary or ask for a raise. If you think you're earning less than you should, say so. If you can't even do that, maybe you don't deserve it in the first place. You're gonna starve to death waiting for that food you think you deserve to magically appear on your plate. Imagine if all our ancestors were just like you. You peasant-minded barrels of rotting flesh. Jesus Christ, motherfucker, sterilize.
It's one thing to vent about how you have more responsibilities than what you're paid for. Knock yourself out. It's a rant. But it's another to sneakily try to figure out how much others earn and then make an all-star Bitch 'N Moan team to make those people's lives harder, nitpick every small thing they couldn't do, or just pull them down to your beloved pit of poverty. How about you write those things down, send it to your manager, and ask for a raise? You can't, can you? Because you know it's petty, you're gonna look like a stalking fool, and you know deep down that those people were priced higher for a valid reason.
What exactly did those people do to you? Fucking nothing. They have the balls and you hate it like a castrated little pooch. Perhaps you should divert your anger towards whoever is actually responsible for it which is most likely you.9
I'm not enjoying my current experience with the web.
I feel sad, alone most of the time.
Let me disclaim first that I don't have like an apocalyptic view of the world, I actually think it's improving (in very broad terms).
I also understand that the web is a complex thing and everyone being happy with is going to be very unlikely, specially as more and more people use it, since the entropy will naturally increase.
I don't have solid evidence of what I'm saying next and I'm not even entirely what exactly I'm saying, but maybe I'm onto something.
I feel that when the internet first started, businessmen were like "meh, geek stuff".
But slowly, things changed, and every greedy person tried to just fucking unload his greed filled cum onto it
And now it feels like 1984. And I hate when people reeeee 1984. But it does feel like it.
The ads are like "ok, I know you like that other shit, but CHECK THIS SHIT OUT".
It's AI driven to maximize profits, with little care for people happiness.
I miss when youtube had related videos. The algorithm wasn't perfect but at least it was exactly that, related videos.
Now though, youtube likes to be smart. But not smart in a way that enriches your youtube experience.
It's smart in a way that maximizes ad revenue.
"what? did you think we were going to use AI to make you happier? that we were going to enrich your youtube experience?
NO MOTHER FUCKER! OF COURSE NOT. We're gonna use it to show you whatever shit that will make us richer faster."
Controls for customizing the recommended videos behaviour? Pff, no.
They're gonna decide for you what it is that you like
They're going to decide what you should be watching.
Everytime i turn on my samsung tv, the youtube app recomends me watching "BETTER THAN SEX EYE LINER". Jesus christ, what the shitcum, I'm the only motherfucker on the house that uses youtube, and I couldn't care less about this cunt's disguised ad video, let alone fucking eye liners.
Why youtube, why do you promote whatever porn video VEVO uploads?
Why do you ruin every youtube rewind?
Why do you pander to the lowest common denominator?
Why can't you be shining beacon, a moral company considering you're a cultural icon?
Fuck you youtube, and while we're at it, fuck you too samsung, I must have been drunk the day I bought this shitty closed source software piece of shit "smart".
And these are just 2 companies. The internet is FILLED with these greedy bastards. They have no passion for their products, for making people happy. They only have passion for the MUNNNEY.
Thanks a lot business schools, thanks a lot CEOs of the world, thanks for making the world a happier place.
Ok, now that I said that, I want to back up a bit.
Youtube may bot be perfect, but it's ad revenue system enables some youtubers I love to be able to make that their careers.
I appreciate that, so maybe youtube isn't that bad... so sorry for saying those horrible things man!8
I have one! Once upon a time (about a year ago) my mom went online shopping on her own. Her husband was out of town and so she had no assistance. At about 10.30 pm she called me, freaking the fuck out that she entered her credit card details on a sketchy site and they charged her for more than she ordered. She was in hysterics, didn't know what to do. Superwoman to the rescue, I tell her to go and deactivate her card and jump on a train back home (she was crying on the phone she was so scared, couldn't just leave it until morning) fast forward an hour, I'm in my hometown, she picks me up and we head home to check out the situation, and... She had just received the email invoice twice. They hadn't charged her twice, just some email mishap made the email appear twice and she never thought to check her bank account before summoning me home 🙄😂 we laughed for a while and I got a home cooked meal so it's all good but Jesus christ mom. What would you honestly do without dad?1
Oh my God. New pet peeve:
People who answer questions on Amazon with an answer like "idk I just got this :(" or "idk man I bought it as a present."
Why the fuck do you feel the urge to answer a fucking question without actually answering it? Like are you that fucking stupid? Jesus Christ.5
We get it, you can build "complex systems" and the entire codebase might as well be your thesis showing off every fucking thing you learned in every chapter of every book. This is like SEO + 3000 word essay requirement + supermall + a 500 page book with no plot in the form of backend code. You want it? We got it!
You utilized every fucking component available in the platform for no reason. It's like you just wanted to use them so you can write them down in your resume. Your code is so abstract that you can't understand it yourself. The nerve of this tumor not to put even a tiny bit of comment.
Let's not forget about the variables you put into the configuration file that do absolutely nothing because you just ignored them. "Woops, I set this value as 'this' in the config file but the code sets it to 'that'. Ooh, the suspense. Debugging is fun! Tee hee! Configurable as fuuuuck!"
IT MAKES NO SENSE. YOU MAKE NO SENSE. The few variables you use, you can't even organize. Jesus Christ. Look at this rectal poetry:
endless pile of other bullshit with misspellings
another chapter of hell
What are these? Fucking landmines? Every time someone asks you why this was used, what it's for, you say you don't know. Then we go back and forth and end up removing them because you say they're not needed. If they're not needed, why are they there? This masterpiece is so far off into the future that our minds cannot comprehend it. Maybe you are a genius and someday, people will appreciate you but right now, I want to stone you to death. Right, your face will start looking like your code - aBstRaCt aS fUcKkKk! ExTeNsIbLe aS sIn!
And the misspellings, again, if only programs don't have to be accurate. Have you ever caught an EXPECTION? Did you FETFH the data? How do you generate a SESSOIN?
Me: *codes with a dark green-black color scheme in Sublime Text*
Person nearby: "h-hey dude, are you hacking right now?"
Me: "Yep, right now I'm making a script that's going to let me eavesdrop on governments and then I'm going to leak everything to WikiLeaks for the sake of overthrowing governments and waking everyone up."
Person nearby: "Jesus Christ dude, for real?"
Me: "nah i'm just messing with ya"12
This whole github thing is only yet again revealing, how many package maintainers are a bunch of instable psychopaths and should have somebody else manage the keys
be it one guy deleting all shit from npm and breaking worldwide babel installs or now raging toddlers deleting their repos with no actual readme notice or atleast placeholder repo and telling others to do the same
jesus fucking christ, how can the same person have developed such intricate package and then be an absolute manbaby throwing shit at strangers7
I've been looking at the shittiest code today. Hundreds of lines saying
Over and over. They're all wider than the editor window. Clearly copy pasted. Just make a fucking variable Jesus Christ how do you expect anyone to read that2
Privacy is going bust
We're robots now
Chewing on our politians delicate ARSE
Fuck this shit
I'm going underground
Cold War Two awaits us.
The net shall be our shelter.
They blew it. We dig deeper.
Jesus Christ are we assraped5
Please, don't take this post seriously. I wrote it from anger.
I hate a lot of humans.
I was at a church today because family ties. I'm agnostic. That sums it up.
And now, I'm at a mall, and it's crowded, and I'm bumping into a lot of people with very low common sense. These fucking apes here have ZERO walk awareness. And a lot of them probably drive, which scares me.
When they make a line in a food shop, and the line gets too big, they curve the line so that the line can continue, like an L, but they leave TOO LITTLE GODDAMN SPACE TO WALK THROUGH!
There's a narrow ramp, next to some stairs, that I use to get to the nursery of the mall, but it also leads to the bathrooms. A lot of these disgusting beings use the ramp. Jesus fucking christ, USE THE SHITTIN FUCKING STAIRS.
tiday I was walking with the stroller the 9 month old which was (thank you alpha omega) sleeping.
I see one of those nice comfy couches, and there's a couple hugging in it but there's an empty spot. I come closer and it's occupied by their trash, some cups with ice cream.
I could not believe my eyes.
That shit's expensive. I would never leave shit with ice cream in my couch, and it's also a horrible gesture because it looks like you're denying it from others with your trash.
I just stared the trash down like really disappointed. They took the trash but I moved on because I was very salty at that point.
I find a seat next to a dad and his kid. I sit down, relieved. His daughter comes over, and almost yelling complains about him buying his brother.
I stared this little shit straight in her face because she could wake up my kid. She and her family was totally oblivious.
These are just minor events, but I come across a plethora of situations like this every day, like people turning on their turn lights 1/2 second before turning, or people that I meet on the street giving me fucking advice on raising kids.
That's the average mall experience. It's a place where selfful people thrive.
I shit you not, sometimes I imagine that a meteor strikes earth and while it makes me sad that all the people I consider kind will die, I orgasm at the thought of these filthy parasites just evaporating.
But then I realize that I'm being very cruel and intolerant. And feel guilty.
Sometimes I think that I should live in Japan or a similar place.
Japanese city people are very organized.
But then I remember that Japan has a suicide problem. And that it has a poverty problem. And a lot of outcasts. And that they barely have sex.
Who else questions the Apple QA team?
Effective power to the letter "i" not working to the root bug and now this?
Jesus Christ they need to get some help lol12
I do own a HI-end XPS 13 w/ i7. I have it for more than 3 years by now. It's a fucking beast! It's running cold, VERY snappy, does its job VERY well and VERY fast. I cannot imagine owning a faster machine...
Today I've noticed that all the 3 years I've been running in powersave mode (cpu capped at 1.7 GHz).
Jesus hugging Christ!17
Every standup, we had to make a skype call to the other office in UK. At that office was the QA lead and for this project she was on our team. One day she came in late to the standup and just looked pissed or sick or SOMETHING. This was particularly strange because usually she was incredibly cheery and "the life of the meeting" in a sense. After everybody's update, she was asked if she had anything to say. She started fucking mumbling some shit I couldn't hear because of the bad audio quality, then she progressively raised her voice until finally she was yelling and cussed out the PM, ending it off with "ALL FUCKING BECAUSE OF YOU, <PM>!!" Everybody was just fucking speechless and confused as fuck. Nobody understood what her fucking issue was, but the PM (on my end of the call) was not taking that shit! "LOOK LADY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOUR COMPLAINT IS BUT THIS IS COMPLETELY INAPPROPRIATE." Blah blah, he gave it to her good, told her they needed to take it offline, ended the call abruptly and then turned to all of us and said, "Jesus Christ, what drugs is she taking?" To this day I have no idea what the hell happened but it's still one of my funniest memories at that company.1
I fucking hate chained methods. Ok, not all of them. Query things like array.where.first... that stuff is ok.
Specially if it's part of the std lib of a lang, which would be probably written by a very competent coder and under scrutiny.
But if you're not that person, chances are you'll produce VASTLY inferior code.
I'm talking about things like:
And the reason I don't like it is because it's all fine and dandy at first.
But once you get to the corner cases, jesus christ, prepare to read some docpages.
You end up reading their entire fucking docs (which are suboptimal sometimes) trying to figure if this fucking dsl can do what you need.
Then you give up and ask in a github issue. And the dev first condescends you and then tells you that the beautiful eden of code he created doesn't let you do what you want.
The corner cases usually involve nesting or some very specific condition, albeit reasonable.
This kind of design is usually present in testing or validation js libraries. And I hate all of those for it.
If you want a modern js testing lib that doesn't suck ass, check avajs. It's as simple as testing should be.
No magic globals, no chaining, zero config. Fuck globals forced by libs.
But my favorite thing about it that is I can put a breakpoint wherever the fuck I want and the debugger stops right fucking there.
Code is basically lines of statements, that's it, and by overusing chaining, by encouraging the grouping of dozens of statements into one, you are preventing me from controlling these statements on MY code.
As an end dev, I only expect complexity increases to come from the problems themselves rather than from needlessly "beautified" apis.
When people create their own shitty dsl, an image comes to my mind of an incoherent rambling man that likes poetry a lot and creates his own martial art, which looks pretty but will get your ass kicked against the most basic styles of fighting.
I fucking hate esoteric code.
Even if I had to execute a list of functions, I'd rather send them in an array instead of being able to chain them because:
a) tree shaking would spare from all the functions i didn't import
b) that's what fucking arrays are for, to contain several things.
This bad style of coding is a result of how low the barrier to code in higher level langs are.
As a language or library gets easier to use you might think that's a positive thing. But at the same time it breeds laziness.
Js has such a low learning curve that it attacts the wrong kind of devs, the lazy, the uninspired, the medium.com reader, the "i just care about my paycheck" ones.
Someone might think that by bashing bad js devs I'm trying to elevate myself.
That'd be extremely stupid. That's like beating a retarded blind man in a game and then saying "look, I'm way better than this retarded blind man".
I'm not on a risky point of view, just take a stroll down npmjs.com. That place is a landfill. Not really npm's fault, in fact their search algorithm is good.
It's just the community.
Every lang has a ratio of competence. Of competent to incompetent devs.
You have the lang devs and most intelligent lib devs at the top. At the bottom you have the bottom.
Well js has a horrible ratio. I wouldn't be shocked to find out that most js devs still consider using import or await the future.
You could say that js improved a lot, that it was way worse beforr. But I hate chaining now, and i hated back then!
On top of this, you have these blog web companies, sucking the "js tutorial" business tit dry, pumping out the most obscenely unprofessional and bar lowering tutorials you can imagine, further capping the average intelligence of most js devs.
And abusing SEO while they're at it, littering the entire web with copy paste content.2
The Interview (Part 2)
I feel like I can make 13 episodes of this shit. I reviewed another resume that has more than ten pages and contains very little useful information. What kind of pain, internal hemorrhage, brain damage, and trauma does one have to endure before he decides:
"I'm gonna make my resume thicker than old school Song Hits magazine. That would be really cool. That would get me hired."
Jesus Christ, I summon you again. I told you dying for these little fucks isn't worth it but nooooo, no one ever listens to me. iM gUnNa DiE aNyWaY, nAiL mE oVa ThErE. Now look at this shit, one "block" per page.
1. Each block contains the position, company, and responsibilities except each block is repeated over and over again for each "project".
2. Each project has no specific name, just numbers but Project 1, 2, 3, and so on just isn't enough so he used roman numerals instead. Roman fucking numerals. I thought that was the name of the project until I scrolled through the different companies he's been in and that format persists starting from Project I to Project XII.
3. Each responsibility starts in a new line, some are not capitalized so you don't even know if it's the continuation of the previous sentence or what except sometimes, there is no previous sentence.
4. The blocks aren't even arranged properly. He has experiences from 2019, 2018, **2015**, and then 2018 again, 2017, 2016, and so on. I know this because I tried to give the guy a chance. Maybe he's one of those good developers who are just absolutely terrible with these things so I tried to "extract" the gist of the resume.
5. The gist is "nothing to see here". He just did all of this to look like he has plenty of experience and the recruiter must have thought "Wow, I bet this guy would pass." He had five years of experience but all I got aside from the giant headers are "joined the project blah blah", "used <something so basic, it's not worth mentioning> to maintain blah blah", and something in the tune of "changed the scrollbar to blah blah".
Ass Licker - Project VII
Honduras Bitches Inc.
Joined the brothel.
maintained my twerky bitchy assfuck
Used Fontawesome and jQuery shit ass mothafucka some dumb shit here, I don't give a shite anymore, I'm dead inside.
I.. I just.. Why? I don't know anyone who have this kind of resume and yet here I am reviewing this kind of shit from the type of people I didn't know existed. Why do we have to take something so simple and turn it into something that is so difficult to understand or even look at?11
Read the following in Morgan Freeman’s voice.
Okay everyone sit on down and get ready for story time. There once was a workspace that was a pain in the ass to setup. It often would take an entire day even for the most experienced devs on the team...for it was a workspace perched atop a swamp of shit that would require a whole year to refactor into something that isn’t shit.
It was inherited, passed down, stepped in and scrapped from the boot soles of every programmer that ever touched it. It was an amalgam of old, new, and third party components with a class path a mile long and no package management because the company although physically in the present, somehow maintained a temporal presence in the past. And there was nothing that the team hated more than setting that workspace. In short it was an unholy mess that made Satan cry and Dennis Ritchie spin in his grave so much that the state of California attached magnets and a coil to his body and casket to generate electricity.
Then one day the untalented clowns known as App Group decided that our IDE should be owned and configured strictly through them. They took poor Eclipse and mounted so much silly shit to it that it resembled a riding lawn mower with a fax machine and a blender duct taped to it. Eventually as everything the company touched did, it simply turned into a broken, shitty mess that not even Jesus Titty Fucking Christ could bring back the dead.
And then, every month or so the IDE would break in such a grand way that every developer had to rebuild their workspace...the very same Lovecraftian monster disguised as a code base. It was just too much to bear for old Deus. He was all out of fucks and there wasn’t enough alcohol in the world to quiet his injured soul. So he stood on a chair, carved his name in a rafter and tied a noose to it, put it around his neck and finally kicked the chair out from under himself. I am told he even pooped his pants and the post mortem shit in the seat of his pants was still better than the codebase at work. I’m Morgan Freeman.
Jesus Christ Almighty fucking Instagram is a real shit show lately.
So many fucking bots. The porn bots than spam comments and DMs, the bots people tag in comments that get you a lot of likes and then just people that use bots to comment on posts.
Like fucking hell bruh can y'all fix your shit?7
I don't understand why you keep pushing me into your team. You have literally moved issues to the next sprint just so they would welcome me when I come back. I already pushed the code, what else do you want? Do I remind you of your mother? Did she not love you and now you're seeking affection from me or some fucked up shit I don't understand?
You want me to do all these and the whole time, your jerk ass developer does nothing but insult me.
"Why don't you know that this code is in this repository in this other branch?" (Multiple repos, different branches, and the most updated one is never in anywhere that makes sense.)
"Your code is inefficient. We have helpers for this part and you did not use it." (Literally no docs or comments plus blank readme file.)
"We had to refactor your code big time because you weren't following our standards." (What standards?)
Like what the fuck? I'm not a part of your team and no one briefed me as to where all this shit is. Somehow I'm supposed to just know? It's a fucking miracle that I even finished anything. Your dev can't even setup the local environment himself, I did, and that's probably the only reason you want me to do this.
What is your point, man? If it would be more efficient for your team to do it and your developer is complaining about how he has to do it himself anyway, why don't you just leave me alone to my own team? What the fuck do you want? I seriously cannot understand. It's like you're living just to stress me the fuck out. Do you want me to quit? Is that what you really want? Jesus Christ. I've never met people more unreasonable than you.
Fuck you. I hate you.9
Recent boot camp grad here with a solid portfolio...holy crap...this industry is so illogical...got a call from a recruiter whose job needs 3 years experience. I demonstrated I know every single one of the requirements, have implemented them, know pros and cons, etc. She says OK I'll run it by my manager and see because we can't fill the spot and it requires 3 years but you meet all the qualifications. I get an email the next day, and she says sorry, we actually need 5 years...fucking face palm...I'll apply again in 5 years because that job will still be open. Really sucks that the only thing holding me back from landing a job is experience, not knowledge. No employer wants to touch me with a 10 foot pole...how long will it take be to find a job...jesus christ.12
I swear to god if I see another goddamn todo list tutorial im gonna fucking switch careers. JS fanboys with their blogs... jesus christ i thought npm was spoiled but god, try googling angular tutorials... Seriously, you pick a framework and write a useless shitty blog article about the most obvious implementation? Is that your thing now? Write a tutorial on how to make a mailchimp clone? too hard? I thought so. Your mum must be very proud of you crackhead9
My coworker asked where his toolbar was.
I said I removed it for him because... you all probably know why
He literally slapped me and yelled at me.
I know going onto his computer was wrong but Jesus Christ no need to fucking slap me12
It's the 21st century. We have this amazing thing called the Internet. It's literally at our finger tips. Any information you want can be found with the tap of a phone screen, and the information will be presented to you in less than a second.
Why is this concept so fucking hard for people to comprehend? Instead of asking me "How do I write a resignation letter?", search the damn internet for resignation letter guides. Like Jesus Christ, it's not that hard of a concept to comprehend. Especially when you've basically grown up with the internet in our lives.1
Holy shit android development is hard. I mean, either I'm spoiled with my packet managers in web development, or gradle just sucks.
I know these things have learning curves but jesus christ it's like hitting a brick wall.6
I like js and node in general.
But there's this thing I hate about NodeJs...
The blogs. The goddamn blogs.
Every goddamn blog post. Is code. Dozens of lines of code.
Oh, so you want X feature? Just copy paste this shit.
I swear to god, blog posts are the source versioning system to these people.
What they should instead is
a) Create a package.
b) Add tests to it.
c) Present the package to the reader with some minimal code.
But I'm a getting a huge impression that node blog writers want you to copy the code in their post, paste it in your project, and be happy with it.
Now, I'm not assuming that every person posting in medium.com is a software engineer (and by engineer I mean an engineer, not some fuckwad who begs for github stars on dev communities).
The problem to me is that they fucking SATURATE the goddamn search results.
The same goes for finding an npm package for your need, because there are so many low quality packages it's saturated too, you have too plow this stinking pile of projects that have very low quality,
and there's not a really good npm finder out there. Half of them are dead, some look and load like shit, and npm search has a low barrier for good code.
Me on rails, OTOH "ok, I need this thing", I google that and I swear to [-∞,+∞] I find GOOD packages, well designed, no cookie cutter bullshit, no obscure marketing shit on the README.md, it is very clear what this shit does, and the api is designed for HUMANS.
and it actually takes very little time to know if there's no such package.
I don't have to read dozens of fucking my-fuck-blog.io (jesus christ, the io domain has become such a fucking joke, it got fucking abused to death, there are some cool sites out there using it, but my god, James H. Marketing likes to just absorb everything he can, and the internet was not going to be a fucking exception)
does all of this make sense?4
Jesus Christ on a crutch!
You don't fucking use try and excepts everywhere in place of actual logic! For once in your Goddamn miserable life, I need you to actually think through what you're doing instead of mindlessly typing code away at your computer, you fucking King Shit of Turd Mountain!
DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY EVERYTHING KEEPS BREAKING!?
BECAUSE YOU'RE FUCKING REFERENCING VARIABLES BEFORE THEY'RE ASSIGNED, AND THEN WRAPPING IT UP IN A TRY AND EXCEPT! YOU DON'T FUCKING DO THAT! Think through what you're doing!!!!
The shit you're pulling off here is as useful as a chocolate teapot!2
I'm so goddamm fucking tired of this fucking shitty ed sheeran fucking.
Fuck ed sheeran, fuck this bland predictible squared music.
I mean, not him, the music.
Jesus fucking christ, every fucking uber I take this shit ass song is playing.
I heard this song like 50 times already, I'm not even fucking kidding.
This is the musical equivalent of being a passive smoker.10
*installing linux on my mini laptop*
- Dad: "you should make a backup image of windows 10"
- Me: "LOL NOPE!"
(With 2gb of ram, linux makes it the perfect lightweight coding machine. But with W10? Jesus christ)6
I have been drawing nothing but FUCKING CIRCLES on pieces of paper, and it has slowly piled up on my desk over the course of a week. I have been getting stares from people in other departments, and I am pretty sure they think I am starting to lose it.
I finally implemented something today tho, and all that doodling and spaghetti code was totally worth it to see it actually fucking work on the first run. Jesus Christ, I fucking love my job.5
android studio is TERRIBLE. why cant they just make a fucking good linux installer? they're a fucking half trillion dollars company and can't get their shit together. its terribly unprofessional, and makes vim look like a god. maybe not all of us has have access to nasa's supercomputer and don't have a month for it to start.
here's a story about the installation of android studio on a (fairly high-end) chromebook running gallium:
I went to the website, which by the way could tell I was on linux but still automatically showed me the windows instructions, and downloaded android studio, 1.2 gb for fucks sake! I have a 16 gb hard drive! then it installed, and I closed it, because I was gonna use it later. I had a problem with it the first time, so I reinstalled, and halfway through the installation, IT DECIDED IT NEEDED SUPERUSER PRIVELEGES. fuck that. I restarted the installer, with sudo, and it took about switch as long this time. then, it made me redownload the sdk and all that other bloatware EVEN THOUGH THEY WERE INSTALLED IN SEPARATE FOLDERS AND ALREADY DOWNLOADED. jesus christ, google.4
I just discovered that the school my toddler goes to has a policy where they have a meeting with you if your kid gets there late 3 times.
I'm fine with something like 5, but 3!!!!
Jesus fucking christ, she's 4!
The amount of effort I have to put to awake, bathe, dress and feed this kid is unholy, and the time it takes can fluctuate.4
I hate it when I try to login to Gmail and I already chose "English" only for it to display the next page in my native language. It's always in the deepest fucking translation that most native speakers wouldn't even understand and also, I already said display that shit in English. It happens every fucking time. Do I have to physically choke you and spit on your face, you irradiated Chernobyl piece of shitmeat?
When my human was walking outside, the beggars flashed a cardboard to his face and he said he doesn't understand the language. The beggar flipped the cardboard around and that one was in English. Every time we'd go out, the beggars would speak English. Some epic learning shit right there that not even Google can do.
Jesus fucking Christ, all you had to do was listen. Fuck you.6
Stubborn fucking cunt. You could have just sent a request to DevOps and this would all be done. But nooo, I just have to do it with all my other tasks and limited access. Now all you do is complain about it not following the structure. Bitch, I don't even have access to the goddamn schema. I can only give you the values or whatever I can get. How the fuck am I supposed to know what I can't even fucking see? I asked what you use to retrieve it so I can at least validate from my side. Nah, makes you think your dick is bigger when you tell me what I did was wrong. If I'm wrong, help me the fuck out and give me the shit I need to do my tasks.
The egos of these hardcore developers and their sense of importance. You develop websites. Jesus Christ, look into the fucking mirror. Someday you're gonna die and no one's gonna remember your fucking website.
This takes one fucking click if someone who has access did it but fuck you, you have to make everything complicated. Fuck you.3
So we were supposed to have another good build today.
This one guy on our team gets weird sometimes, and refuses to commit his shit until the last minute. He says "Don't worry, I'll handle all the merging, it'll be fine!"
What he forgets is that much of our code relies on his! His latest commits reworked a couple entry points and a class definition. No backwards compatibility.
He made his commit, and nearly our whole stack shit the bed. Jesus jumping Christ. Weekend? Nope.2
my friend was bragging how he could program a game on his TI-84 calculator
it was just a (buggy) random number game
I told him good job, I program a bit, too
he said "yeah? what do u do?"
I said "I made two apps"
he walked away
I thanked god
Do u remember when i posted this shit 3 days ago?
Guess fucking what.
May 4 2019, Fucking beautiful day, happy blissful i complimented everyone, i told my friends I appreciate them, my sister hooked me up with her hot female friend and that hot female friend I shit you not started showing me a porn game she plays on her Android phone because her sister works in game development company and they coded that porn game, then i got a new item, set up a deal with other stuff, studied. Same day 11:58pm, i was happy.
May 5, 2019. 12:01am. My sister texts me her hot female friend is very smart and she has a bf so she told me not to even try. Some retard on ig started provoking me for no reason. Etc etc and this day just fucking started.
Jesus F Christ.....
Pray for me to survive this day.... What can i even say...5
Emailing about a stray error message with a service. He asked me to send a screenshot of the error. So I do.
In the tabs bar, it's clearly written "how to print screen on linux" JESUS FUCKING CHRIST kill me1
Jesus goddamn Christ, fuck all the poorly designed UX. I wish there was an API for everything, it would make everyone's lifes way more pleasant6
I take the train well out side of rush hour when the trains are about half empty (though most seats taken). I have to come in because it's not like I can afford to have a workspace comparable to the cockpit of the millennium falcon both at home and at work.
I don't believe going into a panic about coronavirus but take obvious basic precautions to at least reduce the chance and slow the spread and that should do a good amount to reduce overloading the system. I kid you not, at this point medical facilities are considering buying diving equipment for enriched O2 supplies to keep up.
Today, as usual, some fucking piece of shit cunt twat psycho beggar that literally needs to be in an asylum with a massive fucking great gob of snot dangling out his nose is going up the entire train, every carriage, begging groping every hand rail along the way and potentially exposing several hundred people every hour.
I told this sorry sack of shit, surprisingly politely, that he'll end up rapidly spreading coronavirus if he keeps going all the way up and down the carriage like that. After he's fucking muttering on trying to make people feel bad about fucking ignoring him not being all caring and shit and then doesn't give a shit about giving everyone coronavirus after fucking waltzing down the entire fucking length of the train his pockets stuffed with coin. Then he threatens to assault me. I was fucking this > < far away from unleashing a life changing beat down and kicking his ass off the train with no pain or injury spared.
At the same time, that piece of scum waste of skin the mayor has apparently informed the public that you can't get coronavirus on the train or buses. How the fuck did he come to that conclusion? Is this really happening? How can something that clinically fucking thick as shit be our lord and master?
I fucking thought the great toilet paper rush was brain dead. Jesus fucking Christ and people voted for this fucking championship moron. Why don't they just all save themselves the fucking hassle and all march themselves off a fucking cliff?
These dumb shits without two neurons to rub together only need to put a dozen or so plain clothed police offices on the trains to catch these fuckers.
Why am I even fucking paying taxes? Where's it all fucking going? Another fucking lets give a billion quid to Fujitsu fucking failed IT project again I bet. Can't people bloody do anything these days? Does there have to be an app for fucking everything?
Someone should make a fucking facial recognition app so I can snap a shot of these fuckers and then if one of these fucking passes the phone camera anyone else with the app it'll set of there's a fucking imbecile in the vicinity alert.
These people need to be dragged out into the street, lined up against the wall and shot. No remorse. Toss them in a pit, cover it with dirt and be done with it. Why even bother with the execution? Throw them down the hole and fill it with dirt.
You don't have to go mental like it's the plague but people could at least show some fucking common sense, common decency and basic decorum. Even minimal measures, is that much to ask? Absolute scum of the Earth. How we even allow them to walk to Earth I do not fucking know.2
holy fuck, I just browsed instagram and guess what? there's a lot of ho's and retarded morons! what in the actual fuck? I am honestly surprised!
I was so mad about it that I went for a walk in town and stumbled upon a KKK gathering. Jesus christ, can you believe these people are racists?
I had to storm out there of there to my favorite extremist church and I just found out that they are homophobes. I am shocked!
then it started to rain, and I was wondering what would happen if I walked into the open. Can you believe I got drenched? I was not aware that water had this effect on regular clothing.10
These commercials for the Earnin app are cancer.
"I know you don't get paid until tomorrow why are you buying [stupid shit]?"
-- what kinda psycho knows when their friends get paid?
"I'm using the Earnin app to get paid today so I can buy my dog some food."
--If your budgeting skills are so shitty that you have to rely on an app to pay you before you check, then perhaps an animal is something you don't need to have with your current financial situation.
Like Jesus Christ the situations are all illogical and make 0 sense, yet they're fucking EVERYWHERE.4
I have a subj called "Fundaments of Operative Systems" (or something along those lines), and I have 2 crappy teachers, one for the theory classes, the other for the exercise classes.
The exercise classes teacher is said to be the worst in uni and every time I think about that class I get a bit anxious because I can never do anything in it. Basically we don't get taught code in theory classes and he just comes and says "do this exercise" without explaining anything first. And when he does I still don't understand it.
I bet like 90% of us have no idea how to program in C and we need that for those classes. I hate C with a passion because of this.
In the theory classes, the teacher explains most of the things without powerpoints, and when we don't understand something (either ask about something he said or what's written in the board), he REFUSES to explain or say what's written, because he has "explained it before". He even chuckles as if it was really funny that we can't read his handwriting or just didn't listen because we were writting things down OH MY GOD. So most of the times when I copy things from the boards and then look at them at home I'm like "what the hell is this, this doesn't make any sense, what did he even write" (has some word that looks like what he wrote with ?? around it)
I think they wanna watch us fail. I really do.
I kinda understand the theory classes, but half the test is writing code. How am I gonna write code if I don't understand it? I have a work for that subj to deliver until monday but I can't make it work because I don't know the code I have to write. Damn it all to hell jesus christ
Additional note: they're both in their 60s and should be retiring not long from now so maybe that's why they act so carelessly.
Love the uni, not so much some of the teachers2
I am such a 1337 Hackerman. I always use dark theme, Terminal is always opened with black and green theme, and loud sunthwave music blasting from my computer. No wonder everyone around me thinks that I am a haxxor.
EDIT: I also forgot to add that I keep playing old school roguelike Terminal games like Dwarf Fortress and Cataclysm: Dark Days Ahead. I also am a big fan of the Commodore machines. Jesus Christ, I am quite a geek, huh?1
Tl:dr Guy acts like a moron and is useless in group tasks.
In my class there is this one guy, that I'll just call carl. Now Carl do some stuff that irritates me, but is harmless. Things like repeat the answer he get's every time he asks a question. I fucking hate it, but it's okay. He also says some pretty stupid stuff. Like today when he asked why Ubuntu started when he turned on a computer, the guy next to him simply said because it's installed while I facepalmed.
Carl does even worse things than that. I was asked to work with Carl on a group task.
Now I hate talking in front of people, so we decided that I would do the writing and he would speak to the rest of the class.
I made a word document containing what he had to say, but we also wanted a PowerPoint presentation to make it look better and so the other could get read the basics on what we we were presenting.
Carl decided that he could create the PowerPoint presentation, and I thought why not. The thing I didn't expect was that Carl would install Ubuntu on his laptop, without saving the presentation somewhere else. In other words HE FUCKING DELETED IT.
But it's fine he could just create it using a program that isn't PowerPoint. OH WAIT OF COURSE CARL FOUND A WAY TO TO FUCK THIS. The next time we had that subject he came without his laptop (we use our laptops in all our courses) because he managed to make it unusable, although he fixed it a few days later.
At that point I said fuck it and created the presentation myself.
At this point I didn't trust Carl with anything sharper than a spoon and decided, against our previous, plans to present it with him. Now I sent him the Word and PowerPoint documents so he would now what to say and what the class was going to see.
THIS GUY DECIDED TO JUST READ WORD FOR WORD OF THE POWERPOINT AKA NOT THE THING I ASKED HIM TO DO. So half the the time it was me going into slight detail about advertisement on the net and how people finding your company on google helps to sell products, AND THE OTHER WAS HIM SAYING A FEW WORDS. JESUS CHRIST, Carl basically didn't do shit yet he acted like he did. That's something that really makes me mad.2
FUCK WINDOWS FUCK NODEJS FUCK ANGULAR FUCK VISUAL STUDIO FUCK POWERSHELL FUCK ALL THAT FUCKIN CRAP WHY THE FUCKIN HELL IT SHOULD BE THAT HARD TO INSTALL SOME SHIT AND START WORKING LIKE A NORMAL PERSON WOULD DO JESUS FUCKIN CHRIST I FUCKIN HATE THAT OS FUCK THIS SHIT10
started using vim just for shits and I gotta say it's been a massive pain in the ass.
wanted to indent like 7 blocks of code at once. 20 minutes later I've tried several methods, none of which indent it 4 spaces like the rest of my file.
there's like 15 different ways to indent shit. Jesus Christ.
then I had to sift through countless people in heated vim debates on SO.
I am not worthy10
Julia is a smelly pile of steaming shit.
Jesus fucking christ would you look at that pile of pure utter shit. The dumbfuck dev somehow managed to break WHILE loops for devs coming from python, and I speak for myself and probably others when I write most of us python developers are functionally braindead. If you can somehow fuck it up for python devs, a significant portion of the people you're trying to attract (owing by the syntax), then you should probably just go head and delete your whole git repo now.
Julia is a prime example of why you don't listen to your users on fucking github about the direction of language development.
What a bunch of fucking booger eating retards.33
I just spend roughly 5 hours trying to get a Laravel Homestead up and running. Constantly jumping from one error to the other, getting nowhere.
Turns out that,
I NEVER FUCKING GENERATED A BLOODY SSH KEY
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME
AN ENTIRE DAY WASTED
I swear, I'm way too junior for like 95% of this shit....5
By:Miss. Lucia Wright
Punchline : VERY IMPORTANT MESSAGE MY DEAR
My greetings to you in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. I am sister Lucia Wright I am married to Archdeacon. Collins Wright whom until his death served as an archdeacon in the St. Micheal's archdeacon in Ivory Coast for nine years before he died in the year 2005. We were married for eleven years without a child. My Husband died after a brief illness that lasted for only four days.
Before his death we were both born again Christian. After the death of my Husband I decided not to re-marry or get a child outside my matrimonial home which the Bible is against. When my late husband was alive he deposited the sum of $22. Million in a security and finance company in London for safe keeping.
Presently, my Doctor confirmed to me that I have serious sickness which is cancer problem. The one that disturbs me most is my stroke sickness. Haven known my condition I decided to donate this fund to a church or individual that will utilize this money the way I am going to instruct herein. I want a church that will use this fund for orphanages,helping the widows, propagating the word of God and to endeavor that the house of God is maintained. The Bible made us to understand that? Blessed is the hand that giveth'. I took this decision because I don't have any child that will inherit this money and my husband relatives are not Christians and I don't want my husband's efforts to be used by unbelievers. I don't want a situation where this money will be used in an ungodly way,
this is why I am taking this decision.
I am not afraid of death hence I know where I am going. I know that I am going to be in the bosom of the Lord. Exodus 14 VS 14 says That? the lord will fight my case and I shall hold my peace'. I don't need any telephone communication in this regard because of my health hence the presence of my husband's relatives around me always. I don't want them to know about this development. With God all things are possible.
As soon as I receive your reply I will give you the contact of the security and finance were the amount sum is deposited for you to contact them, I want you and the church to always pray for me because the lord is my shepherd. My happiness is that I lived a life of a worthy Christian. Whoever that Wants to serve the Lord must serve him in spirit and Truth. Please always be prayerful all through your life.
Any delay in your reply will give me room in sourcing another church or individual for this same purpose. Please assure me that you will act accordingly as I Stated herein. Hoping to receive your reply. Due to present condition of my health,I was warned by my doctor to avoid receiving or making any call. For that,I have submitted the information of the deposit to my lawyer, As soon as I hear from you I will forward to you the lawyer's contact.
Remain blessed in the Lord,
Miss. Lucia Wright.
Well ok... If you want me to, I can surely help you out 😈😈😈😈😈6
fucking zoho and their fucking sign up and authentication process.
they need a mobile phone number for the sing up, alright fine, I provide. but after submitting the form, nothing fucking happened and i am redirected to the initial sign up page. fuck you.
try again and guess what, said my phone number is already used and i can try sign in with it. ok alright, i try to sign in using my number and my password. guess what? i am redirected back at the initital sign up form page. fuckkkkkkkkkk.
i try again with another number. and then this time, guess what? said the fucking email is already existed. jesus fucking fucking christ.
browse around their help desk and found this. https://help.zoho.com/portal/kb/...
sure I follow the advice and guess what? yeah i'm redirected back to the FUCKING GOD DAMN same page again.
I gave up and wanted to send them a reply on their help desk and try to log in using one of my other existing zoho accounts. GUESS WHAT? THEIR HELP DESK LOG IN IS NOT WORKING. ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.
I click "Sign In". Login as User or Login as Agent dropdown appear. I click Login as User since my user account is already logged in. It nothing happened. It flashed and I am back at the help desk thread with no changes. It is still "Sign In" at the top. I fucking give up.3
Warning: This is gonna come across as a little cringe/self-pitying, but whatever
Jesus Christ I'm so fucking lonely it literally hurts. I know I should be grateful I have a hobby in coding, also recently I got my first job as a developer (even if I'm overworked and paid shit all with poor job security), but I swear what will eventually kill me will be my own hand cos this empty feeling is unbearable at times.
Also, I'll try to ask this in the most politically correct way possible: how do you single guys in your 20s/30s cope with the lack of females in the industry? I absolutely do not mean this in a "making-unwarranted-advances" sort of way; I just mean that we're biologically wired to desire some form of interaction with the opposite sex (unless you're queer), and this happens naturally in most professions but obviously not engineering/software dev. It's especially difficult when you don't have a big social circle so your job basically becomes your life.
So... For those of you who can relate, what do you do? Do you make an effort to socialize outside work? Or maybe you're lucky enough to work somewhere with a diverse mix of people? Should I blame Zuckerberg for damaging my adolescent brain and turning me into a needy piece of crap?8
Health anxiety is funny.
a pendulum between
"oh no, what if I have x and die"
"jesus christ, this anxiety is too painful i wish i was dead"
death is a fucking tease.
anyhow, just venting, not promoting self harm, if you are having thoughts of mortality contact your national suicide hotline.
also, not trying to be a dick, but id appreciate receiving no advice, just a "i hope you get better" will help me a lot.5
Instead of having a login button that takes me to "claim your account", how about you let me actually fucking LOGIN with my motherfucking account I already signed up with?
This is like basic-bitch UX feedback.
How the fuck did you fucking incompetents fuck up this bad?
God damn if I ain't done with bad fucking UX.
It's 2020. Could you motherfuckers idk, do your actual fucking jobs? Or are you all busy over at discord home office looking at cat memes and fisting each others prolapsed cunts like a bunch of fucking jackasses?
Jesus fucking christ it's like I woke up in fucking clown world, where every company thats successful is run by people more incompetent than me. Fix your fucking shit discord.11
So I've been really Ill the past few days, like litterly been in bed for two days, popping pills like there going out of fashion. I contact work and get the typical "get well soon" so I get a message today asking how I'm doing (still Ill), I said I'll be back Monday and ask if anything is urgent that needs to be done first thing. So I get a list:
Project A: Deadline Monday
Project B: final review Tuesday
Project C: Still waiting on feedback
So I ask any chance we can extend the deadlines by a day or so I have enough time to catch up even though I'm going to have to rush it as I've been off.
Answer.. nope there non negotiable.. oh
So they want basically three days work done in one day, given the fact I still might not be 100%. Jesus Christ 😂
Quick Edit, I wasn't told there were deadlines.13
Jesus fuckin' Christ. I own a webshop together with someone else. This guy is so fuckin' stupid. Yesterday I've deployed a release to our acceptance environment. I talked with him extensively about it. This morning I texted him to check out all the new stuff.
5 minutes later he texts.me back: I would suggest changing option x. Uuh... what option x? We don't have that any more.
Dude! What the fuck! We talked extensively about acceptance testing so you know it is in our acceptance environment, not production, asshole.
And then again, he asks for the link to the acceptance, which I gave him twice already.
Are you really that stupid??1
Just wondering... anyone else think having a script automatically kill gradle if it runs for more than X amount of minutes would be a great sanity saver?
"Jesus Fucking Zombie Christ I only added ONE FUCKING TEXTVIEW IN A SIMPLE GODDAMNED LINEAR LAYOUT YOU WORTHLESS MOTHERFUCKING PIECE OF SHIT AND GRADLE IS STILL RUNNING AFTER FIVE MOTHERFUCKING MINUTES?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!"1
FUCK YOU MICROSOFT
GO FIX YOUR FUCKIN C# METHODS
Language felt good but jesus fuckin christ.
HOW YOUR File.Exists() can be so retarded jesus fuckin christ
I mean god, how retarded can it be when i obtain the current directory with your builtin method (System.Environment.CurrentDirectory) attach to it the directory name with the images i need and I ALWAYS GET FALSE ABOUT ITEMS THAT ARE FUCKIN THERE.
Fix your fuckin encodings too, suckers.6
I'm stuck in another country because of coronavirus, living in my mother in law's house, which is a church.
this church has two levels. while we are in the higher level, the lower level is being rented to some women that I hadn't seen since I've been here.
there is a library at the lower level next to their rooms and I'm using it to work because I can't focus with all the chatter in the upper level.
second day of work and 2 hours into coding, I get my balls held onto my legs. Trust me, I had just taken a proper shower, and I don't sweat a lot, it's just my balls being balls.
Naturally I try to separate said balls from my legs with my balls. Guess who the fuck I see passing through. One of these women.
Jesus fucking christ. What a good first fucking impression. Me with my hand in my fucking crotch.5
About two weeks ago i posted a rant containing an email from the big boss. Today they held a "virtual town hall" where people could ask questions, get answers, and generally just be online. Went fairly well, good info was handed out, and i think people mostly enjoyed themselves (even if it was at the expense of the higher-ups).
Then comes the email. The same person as last time had this quote:
"I’m good at giving advice, so I need to take some of my own. I intend to take it easy this weekend, watch Netflix, do some household chores, play the piano and maybe even read a book! "
Jesus christ. Remember those memes about zuck being a robot because everything he does it looks and feels like it's an alien trying to blend in? That's what this feels like. On a normal workyear i would hear from this person 10 times TOTAL. I have heard from them this amount in the past 2 WEEKS.
Maybe it's the virus, but this is driving me INSANE. If there's any lesson you can learn from this, it would be:
Dont pretend like you care by not knowing or learning anything about the people you work with.
Jesus they even sent out surveys to see what the telework experience is like... THE RESPONSES ARE RECORDED AND PUBLICLY DISPLAYED!!!
(Ok, I love js in general (specially with es6), but here's something I hate about the "ecosystem". Dont take this too srsly also)
Holy fucking gagged shit, these project readmes that start out for too long about the project objective instead of stating the actual thing/s the software does.
WHAT DOES IT FUCKING DO!?
STOP BEING FUCKING FANCY ABOUT YOUR PROJECT.
Jesus christ, people jacking off about their awesome tool and how it will make everyone happy. No one cares.
"shitsmoke.js is a framework that focuses on delivering truly reliable data with static checking enabled on deployment."
WHAT THE SHIT DOES THAT MEAN?
Gimme a bullet point with the goddamn features (not the fucking BENEFITS) and I'm done.
These are like layers of marketing bullshit texts you have get through, getting more technical as you go on.
But sometimes they never do a technical summary, THEY GO STRAIGHT INTO THE GODDAMN API. And the API docs belong to a docs site, there is github.io and packages that take care of that.
You're like a goddamn linguistic detective, trying to disect the meaning of these words to understand if some package is what you're looking for.
And I don't wanna visit another website to understand what it does either!1
If you wanna think that I'm a bad programmer, that's ok, but I can't put up anymore with Xcode.
Jesus Christ. An entire afternoon spent trying to make an array with two dimensions. I tried every fucking way I found in SO, in the apple site and in every another site that I found in my way.
First: For every example for Swift 3 there's another 10 for Swift <3.
Second: Mutable arrays, as I'm noticing, aren't a thing anymore, so, to declaring array size we go! Except it's impossible to. Tried 3 different ways. Not a single one worked.
Third: Actually, one of the 3 tries worked, for int arrays, and for some obscure reason it won't work for strings, as declaring the array as [String] is too general for swift, I mean, I completely agree with it, a [String] array could contain anything right???? FUCK NO. IT CONTAINS STRINGS YOU FUCKER!!!!
I swear, if the equipment was mine and not from the office, I would have thrown that piece of shit which disconnects from the fucking computer every 30 seconds that apple calls keyboard out of the window already.
Why the fuck do I need to develop for iOS in swift/xcode?? There's so many cross platform alternatives out there, good ones in fact, but no, we must build the applications natively or else the phone will catch on fire according to my boss.
I kinda liked Apple until now.
From now on? Fuck Apple.10
For the love of GOD, if you're an architect or someone in the position where you can make drastic changes to the overarching design of a software system, if you're so keen on enforcing something "cool" just because you've read about it in a blog post/seen it on a youtube video, READ ABOUT IT THOROUGHLY, as in, pick up a fucking book or do actual research. An architect overseas just informed us that a whole legacy PHP application (a fucking monolith with a dysfunctional database, yes, I think someone demented designed it) should be rewritten to a microservice architecture (without a messaging broker, just plain API interaction through HTTP) AND WE'RE KEEPING THE DATABASE WHICH BEGS TO BE PUT DOWN FOR GOOD. So now we're gonna have a clusterfuck of tons of PHP microservices (Q_Q) which interact through plain HTTP APIs (swagger's gonna be put to a test) and all have a single broken database in the center. Talk about a microlithic design. Jesus Christ.9
You know what bugs me the most? When people make their code fast and efficient, but not updatable. Like if I want to add something for my program to look for I'd rather just put another item in an array than modify/add 30 lines. Jesus Christ people.1
GUYS; STOP THE VIMIPOSTS got like all of them in the small period I‘m checkin jesus christ lord save us23
Making the needed actions to install Manjaro:
Making the needed actions to disable fast boot and all these crap:
FUCK YOU WINDOWS
YOU ARE NOT FUCKIN SUPPOSED TO LOCK THE MACHINE TO YOUR FUCKIN OS
IF SOMEONE WANTS TO USE IT FINE
BUT DON'T MAKE OTHERS WASTE THEIR FUCKIN TIME DISABLING YOUR FUCKIN SHIT
I BOOTED IN YOUR OS AND THAT SHIT WAS SLOW AS FUCK
JESUS FUCKIN CHRIST8
Ooooh MOTHERFUCKER. God fucking dammit. Jesus FUCKING christ. Motherfucking local caching on firefox and chrome. Reload the MOTHERFUCKING PAGE, it's why I pressed CNTRL R you fucking blighted cunts.
Some days I wish I had a brick to toss at the fucking head of the nearest chrome/firefox developer.
Fucking assholes. Eat shit and die alone of cancer fucksticks.8
I'm not one of those "windows sucks lol" guys, but I got used to having my dev environment set on Linux and due to some technical problems I'm setting things up on Windows for a while (dual boot).
Now... Jesus CHRIST how annoying this is. First, I use Laravel and the whole documentation assumes you're either using Mac or Linux. Second, everything has to be added to the god-damned PATH. Third, Windows sole purpose now seems to be updating the PC (and hogging my bandwidth in the process) so I had to waste time taming the beast called Windows Update.
Again, not the stupid old Linux vs Windows thing. I use both for different things, but had never set up a dev environment on Windows.14
Have you ever been so confused with the professor requirements for a Java requirement that you had to decompiled his fucking example only to realize he went COMPLETLEY DIFFERENT ROUTE THAT THE BLACK ASSHOLE HE REQUESTED? GOD I FUCKING WANT TO THROW THROW MY MACBOOK AT HIM, IM HERE AT THE UNIVERSITY FOR 12 HOURS, ITS FUCKING 5 AM RIGHT NOW, THE SUN IS FUCKING RISING AND THERE IS LIGHT IN THE SKY TELLING ME TO KILL MYSELF LIKE JESUS CHRIST WHAT AM I A CODESLAVE NOW? FUCK.
FYI, there's also an addition of 7 students with me too, we're doomed.3
Jesus Christ, if the cucks at this company don't start cleaning the coffee machine them-fucking-selves, I'm going to flip my shit.
There's been a chalk warning for about a month now and nobody is doing shit about it.
They leave the excess coffee powder in until either I clean it out or it literally starts to mold.
And it's not like they don't use it, everybody here drinks at least two cups a day, do you not care if it tastes at least a little all right!?
Nobody is ever going to get even a half decent cup out of this janky piece of shit.8
Who the fuck thought it would be a great idea to open links in an in-app web browser. Like how fucking stupid.
Trying to get support from a company on twitter. They send me their live chat link, I click it. It opens in app.
I spend 20 fucking minutes speaking to support, for me to accidently hit the back arrow at the bottom of my fucking screen. Now what, that live chat is gone. And there's no fucking way to get back to it, ever.
On top of that, what if I need something from twitter, how the fuck do I go back?
JUST FUCKING OPEN IT EXTERNALLY LIKE EVERYTHING FUCKING ELSE DOES, JESUS FUCKING CHRIST MAN.
Who ever the fuck designed this system needs a fucking slap.
I'm honestly so fucking done, I hate mobile and the apps. It's all so fucking annoying. Fuck you.3
So I went to take a look at Mozilla's "privacy not included" guide.
That's some good comedy right there, fucking rubber ducks that spy on you.
Jesus fucking christ
Jesus shitting Christ. Do you want to know something by awful. A comment by @tahnik on a post by @yvang has just made me realise I have been fighting CSS to make it do what I want since IE3 came out.
In August 1996. 20 years ago. I'm 40. That's half my life ago. CSS, I salute you. You've been a worthy adversary.8
Fuck printers, stupidass machines never working when you actually need them and are in a hurry. Fucking cunts made them ink cartridges fucking more expensive than gold too. Costs of production of as well printer as cartridges are nearby fucking zero, get a fucking grip on yourselfs cunts. Jesus fucking Christ.4
Jesus fucking christ how can the latest Macbook be such a piece of crap? I'm currently travelling and wondering why I'm getting such an atrocious 40% packet loss and round-trip time up to 3 seconds.
Then I remember having Wi-Fi issues in the office with certain adapters, one of which I'm currently using, while I'm tethering over Wi-Fi ... disconnecting the adapter yields a perfect 0% packet loss and 30ms RTT. It Just Works® my ass. This is _one_ of the things that suck about the macbook.10
CMake. There is apparently no way at all of including some FindXXX.cmake modules on the search path via an environment variable. Jesus fucking Christ you fucking shitful excuses for engineers. And go shove your fucking semicolon laden randomly quoted path strings.4
More like 'relationship' rant.
The following is gonna be kinda crude and not work appropriate just fyi.
First, whats with this trend of 'shave your pussy", and small tits? Shit just a few years ago it was the opposite! Who wants to fuck a women who looks like an undeveloped boy. Give me a good medium pair of knockers and a (slightly) hairy pussy anyday and I'm in heaven.
On that note, all these guys whining and fucking whinging about "fat" women. Like I'm not chasing deathfat women or anything, but come on dudes. If you're gonna demand 'thin beautiful women' put in the fucking work! Just saying it now. Kinda pudgy, not a deal breaker for me. She have a pretty face, looks good in make up? Fuck it, I'll give her the time of day. Don't come at me with "hurrr...fat is unhealthy! Wheres your standards?"
Wheres YOUR fucking standards? Shit, I could take a 'heavy' girl and in a few months time have her trim. Its about the WORK you put in. All these fucking guys, all these fucking guys man, they all want something for nothing and chicks for free. No one wants to put in the fucking EFFORT anymore. I can't name on one hand the number of 'fat ugly chicks' everyone ignored from school (well except for me), who are now bombshells. If I stayed connected with people maybe I'd be with one of em right now, but I just get tired of this attitude that no one invests any time in others any more. It's all about 'me me me'.
Shes fat, maybe only a few extra pounds? Fat and 'not beautiful'? Fucking DO THE WORK and make her beautiful you bitch! Be her coach, like those fucking instagram couples you see sweating it out. Make her sexy. Become sexy, together.
Get her a fucking treadmill. Get her two. And jog together. Make her *feel* sexy.
More importantly get to *know* her. Why does she get out of bed in the morning? What drive her NOT to get out of bed? When does she feel lousy? What makes her feel that way? In addition to all the other shit men should know how to do, you should learn to play doctor phil, because every girl needs one. Women bond by talking, men bond by doing things together. Relationships should involve both.
Jesus fucking christ, this is basic bitch advice, and it annoys me I keep on coming across these spergs that don't fucking get it. Women are not cars you can stick your key in and just go 'vroom'.
They require maintenance, same as anything, any 'relationship' (because really, what are relationships in 2020, with instagram and fucking tinder and antisocial distancing?). You're a *team*, and i don't mean that in an inspirational way. You're a literal team. And far too many people prioritize the well being and success and concern of 'I' over' 'us'.
In short, if she ain't coming, you shouldn't be either. And if you expect her to on-the-regular put sharp objects on her fucking nether regions, don't expect any blowjobs unless you're doing the same thing for yourself!
Ideally you should be doing it to each other.
After all, you're partners. You trust her to put sharp objects near your groin, right?
Aren't relationships supposed to be about mutual trust?28
As many of you might know, the PYX servers are down. It happens that I run an Android client for PYX, that was obviously a tragedy for me. I didn't give up and I've immediately setup a backup server, then due to lack of resources I had to shut it down, but I provided a list of servers run by other people.
Yesterday I've updated the app once again to do some fixing. Today, this guy leaves a review: "Absolutely useless until they bring back the servers. Why update the app when literally NOBODY is playing??"; Why am I updating the app?! Jesus Christ, why can't I update my app?!?! Should I delete it from the Play Store just because some servers are down? I get it, there are a few people playing, but please, don't fucking say that the app is useless.
This kind of people makes me very angry.
I just woke up after 2 hours sleeping. I feel like I have been in a car wreck. JESUS CHRIST THIS IS WHY I DON'T SLEEP WHEN IT'S STILL DAY.. Now I have to wait some time to clear my head to do some coding..
I know Electron apps sometimes tend to be slow and consume a lot of RAM, but Jesus Christ Microsoft Teams is such garbage - it consumes a whole CPU core just for itself. My laptop fans start whirring and after a half an hour of MS Teams sitting in the background idle dmesg starts telling me CPU temperature has reached a treshold and is now thermal throttling. :(((((((2
I absolutely treasure the bug reports we get from users. Nothing helps bring the product closer to perfection than the informed critique of end-users.
Recently, however, this one dude is filing a new fucking report every time he encounters the same fucking bug. "X happens for operation Y on file A"
"X happens for operation Y on file B"
"X happens for operation Y on file Z"
Jumping Jesus Christ, man, I'm pretty sure we can identify a pattern after the first two!
I don't expect him to know about the work we do to reproduce a problem after one report but fucking hell, have some faith that we'll get the picture after two or three.
These are fully detailed bug reports too, so it's not like he's just being a troll.1
JESUS FUCKING CHRIST
Working with google shit is a fucking nightmare.
WHY DO THEY HAVE TO REINVENT EVERYTHING ALL OVER AGAIN?
Fuck you, google. I wish you could rot in hell.5
Just a rant I sent to discord instead of devRant
( Hope you can read it with all the compression )6
I was in charge of updating the dependencies on a microservice we have. Everything was at least 3 years old. Nice. How bad was it gonna be?
Jesus Christ, I have never felt so wrong.
A certain dependency I will hide under the name w******js allowed custom functions for a feature that accepted three arguments: paramA, paramB, paramC. The old installed version, 1.x.x, did what was intended, but for some dumb reason, 2.x.x calls the function with paramA as paramB and paramB as paramA!
It took me a god damn while to find out why shit wasn't working as expected. Who thought this was a good idea?3
Jesus fucking christ.
I posted two rants today, both about trying to get my SD card reader to work on my arduino due...
After spending my whole day debugging, rewriting my code multiple times, cutting off anything that wasn't strictly necessary, writing my code procedurally, I finally decided to go and see what the library I HAVE to use is doing under the hood.
uint_fast8_t is NOT 8 bits wide on my due...
The bitshifts were "overflowing" (not really, just taking more space, which it had access to) meaning that my data was getting corrupt.
FUCK YOU FOR TAKING A DAY OFF MY LIFE3
I wish all apps would just stick to the monthly updates in the fashion of Linux kernel, Android, etc. Why the fuck does a mouse driver have to be updated every fucking week? Jesus Christ.3
I'm going through my Udemy courses for the hell of it and see if I might even learn some things, started a course I knew would start of way too basic but Jesus Christ, 7 lectures for doing basic player movement and animation... Strap in boys, it's going to be a long ride
Unfortunately, due to my recent decision to only connect with people I know, it means I get a lot of those “Do you know this person?” pop-ups when I hit ignore. And because I’m a lyric person, it also means every time I deal with someone I don’t know, my brain goes:
“I don’t know him!”
“Peter, don’t you know what you have saaaaaaid? You’ve gone and cuuuut him dead.”
I swear to god if I spend more money on headphones this year. This time it was my dog that snapped the cord off. I think I will just start using bluetooth headphones now, but if there is no cord I might drop them a lot and they are expensive Oh my god jesus christ fuck me fuckfuckfuckfuckfuuuuuuck1
Facebook phasing out old instagram API made my life so much more fun. Now, to get a feed OW MY OWN ACCOUNT'S POSTS that I could filter by tags I need to go through two layers of authorisation - and then still go through ridiculous hops to get those goddamn tag lists. JESUS CHRIST. I hate Zuckerberg and I wish him a rusty guillotine when the time will come.3
Why the fuck isn't appendChild working? It shouldn't be this fucking hard to get a simple result.
p = document.createElement("p");
p.textContent = String(new Date().getTime());
doc = document.getElementById("todoList")
Done from within a listener function for another element, listening for onkeyup. Using bulma.
Jesus fucking christ and this is the profession I chose.
At this rate by the time I'm fucking competent I'll be replaced by wage slaves from india who started training at the age of ten because their government actually gives a shit about investing in their people instead of saddling new generations with trillions in bank debt so goldman fucking sachs can hire more underage prostitutes from epstein and mossad.24
Shouldn't the following actually fucking work? Because right now, changing it does fucking nothing.
And in the relevant css file:
margin: 0 auto;
Edit: Jesus fucking christ I'm blind. Had the css href attribute misspelled as 'hred'.
Shoot me now. Just get it over with.5
Jesus fucking christ! I've been hired by this bank to improve the quality of their online banking software. Zero unit tests and I'm tasked to make it testable as much as possible.
Guess what? Almost the whole fucking codebase uses static classes everywhere!!! Good luck unit testing that.... what a bummer. It is a challenge though.2
So.... Every time I add some form of graph to a site and allow people to filter, I always get "your analytics are wrong".
99.9% of the time they just aren't as high as the client expects.... Anyone else get this?
It's so fucking irritating Jesus Christ.
Jesus H. Christ. It really did happen! Just moved from vb6 to vb.net. My personal opinion, going with C#, was disregarded but im still happy to leave that abomination behind.
The sad part is that I have gotten pretty good with vb6 🍻 A drink to that!
PS. VB.net is supposed to be simple and readable but I disagree. C# Is way more readable and there is this elegance about the syntax. As a side project I am thinking of learning Go and make a simple cms.
i had to write some js and css / html for a small project that i work on Django.
GODDAMIT I FUCKIN HATE IT MY HEAD HURTS WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT
LEAVE ME ALONE WITH MY GOD LOVELY PYTHON
OR ANY BACKEND LAGNUAGE(except php of course)
jesus christ i almost threw the goddamn pc out of the window.
fuck front end.11
So, if I do the work of two people, shouldn't I get two salaries?? Deadweight strikes again. Jesus tittyfucking Christ I'm about on my last nerve.. this guy sits on issues until they're critical, then they get passed to other people. Good for him, bad for everyone who's actually FUCKING WORKING AND EARNING THEIR GODDAMN KEEP REEEEEEEE
Eating at your desk! I mean, Jesus fucking Christ! I'm tired of pretending like I love that stomach churning funk coming out of that thing you call lunch while I'm choking myself to keep up with the deadlines.
I rather spend the rest of the day in a vat full of rotting dead rats.2
So a client came today to me saying his domain that I setup some time ago isn't working on a specific russian internet provider, checked everything and then came across a blogpost stating cloudflare IPs are blocked. Researched further and it came out that those fucking retards from the "Federal Tax Service of the Russian" blocked a ton of cloudflare IPs because russian online casinos used them like a year ago.
Then checked another domain he had a problem with and the godaddy IPs were also banned - even more extreme they were banned for like 14 incidents, what the fuck, had to create a new account to get a new ip/nameservers assigned from cloudflare, jesus fucking christ.1
OK, I know the general consensus of StackOverflow on DevRant...but jesus h christ...do devs not debug their own shit anymore? I can't say how many times I see "I get this exception...how do I fix...hurrr durrr....". When it all comes down to it, if they just attached a debugger and looked that variables/properties, they'd see what kind of stupid shit they are doing.
Jesus Christ, Minecraft source code (with forge in this case) is such a clusterfuck of spaghetti logic. It's especially fun when it uses a lot of reflection and dynamic class lookups...6
Jesus Christ! Every time I'm working with some code that involves the word "data" I'm guaranteed to make a typo and type "date"!2
(I'm not completely sure of what I'm saying here, so don't take this too seriously)
Settling on a language to write the api for ranterix is hard.
I'm finding a lot of things about elixir to be insanely good for a stable api.
But I'm having a lot of gripes with the most important elixir web framework, phoenix.
Take a look at this piece of code from the phoenix docs:
defmodule Hello.Repo.Migrations.CreateUsers do
def change do
create table(:users) do
add :name, :string
add :email, :string add :bio, :string
add :number_of_pets, :integer
Jesus christ, I hate this shit.
Wtf are create, add and timestamps. Add is somehow valid inside the create, how the fuck is that considered good code? What happens if you call timestamps twice? It's all obscure "trust me, it works" code.
It appears to be written by a child.
js may have a million problems. But one thing I like about CJS (require) or ESM (import) is that there's nothing unexplained. You know where the fuck most things come from.
You default export an eatShit() function on one file and import it from another, and what do you get?
The goddamn actual eatShit function.
require is a function the same way toString is a function and it returns whatever the fuck you had exported in the target file.
Meanwhile some dynamic langs are like "oh, I'll just export only some lang construct that i expect you to specify and put that shit in fucking global of the importing file".
Js is about the fucking freedom. It won't decide for you what things will files export, you can export whatever the fuck you want, strings, functions, classes, objects or even nothing at all, thanks to module.exports object or export statement.
And in js, you can spy on anything external, for example with (...args) => debugger; fnToSpyOn(...args)
You can spoof console.log this way to see what the fuck is calling it (note: monkey patching for debugging = GOOD, for actual programming = DOGSHIT)
To be fair though, that is possible because of being a dynamic lang and elixir is kind of a hybrid typed lang, fair enough.
But here's where i drop the shit.
Phoenix takes it one step further by following the braindead ruby style of code and pretty DSLs.
I fucking hate DSLs, I fucking hate abstraction addiction.
Get this, we're not writing fucking poetry here. We're writing programs for machines for them to execute.
Machines are not humans with emotions or creativity, nor feel.
We need some level of abstraction to save time understanding source code, sure.
But there has to be a balance. Languages can be ergonomic for humans, but they also need to be ergonomic for algorithms and machines.
Some of the people that write "beautiful" "zen" code are the folks that think that everyone who doesn't push the pretty code agenda is a code elitist that doesn't want "normal" people to get into programming.
Programming is hard, man, there's no fucking way around it.
Sometimes operating system or even hardware details bleed into code.
DSLs are one easy way to make code really really easy to understand, but also make it really fucking hard to debug or to lose "programming meaning".7
Jesus fucking Christ windows firewall is a tumor on this Earth. Serious who the hell thought of the design for that shit? The way rules are implemented are fucking terrible and you really can't tell one choice from the other. All I needed was for a game to be allowed through my firewall so I could host games and it took hours to fix this problem.1
Jesus christ google hurry up and finish work on crostini!
Seem's like every day there is some new news about its development's and im just getting more and more excited!
Did it ever happen to you that you were needed to map a mental and overly complex for no reason db schema to a simple json, and you hate yourself more every key you press because rewriting it more efficiently and simply is never an option?
How do you cope with managers and legacy code?
If it works does not necessarily mean that we should keep it, jesus christ.2
we just removed a parameter check in function bool f(). because its actually raised exceptions. that in the case when data is inconsistent.
sooo. in a function that returns a bool, we now return false when data we need to determine the result is missing.
i wonder when the first guy will find out what that means for calling the function with NOT f() and undefined data, its always gonna be true.. *facepalm*.
I took this freelance job from an undergrad student, her *final project* in her final year.
It's a cool idea with NLP and I was excited. Did three webpages as a show of my prowess and discussed an amount with her after she was satisfied... she seemed okay with the pricing.
Fast forward, three weeks pass and I don't hear from her (we had agreed that I would have to carry her along, so she could defend it). After alot of unanswered msgs, I stop working, assuming she's changed her mind.
Present Day. I stumble into her and I ask what the hell happened?
She: "I thought you were working on it!"
Me: "Jesus Christ! What about my messages?!"
"But, we kinda have only till the 28th of the month before final defense..."
F***, now I'll spend my birthday month rush coding and fixing bugs that I could have done at my own pace!
I fucking hate with all the strength in my body this meme format:
someone: wacky unpredictible quote
fuck that bitch ass, lazy, unfunny, uncreative format. It fucking sucks dick. It's not funny!
Jesus fucking christ, it was funny the first month.
But month after month after month, this fucking thing won't die. It's way way below the average meme format, and that's saying a lot considering what the average is.
I check youtube comments and for every funny and thoughtful comment there's one from these fucking idiots that shouldn't be alive parrotting this unfunny shit.
Just include the goddamn fucking quote, that's it.
Even less points to the motherfuckers that write:
not one on person on earth
not even a single person on the universe
those deserve the worst type of cancers or torture forms described in wikipedia.
This is a stuxnet level post, I need to get a life.6
I just started playing terraria and holy shit, it puts minecraft to shame in so many aspects.
It actually makes you feel like the mc devs are some fucking lazy ass morons sitting on piles of cash.
Minecraft is 11 years old and it has 4 bosses and they are all underwhelming pieces of shit, jesus christ.
They can't even make mining fun for fucks sake. Work an half an hour or more to get a full set of diamond only to accidentally lose it to lava in the nether.
They added netherite? Holy shit I can't wait to see the new gear I can craft with it.
Pickaxe, axe, shovel, hoe, sword, helmet, chestplate, leggings, boots. Wow, netherite shovel, that's what the minecraft community needed.
How about an actual battle axe, knives? a baseball bat? Spells? Fucking something minecraft, come on, you can't just have 10 weapons man!
The lack of creative content and variety in minecraft is staggering. Adding a block of a different color and texture is not new content!!!
Also, fuck villagers and the sound they make and their faces. Worse character design ever. Not a single redeeming aspect. And fuck their trading system.
The trade system is horrible!!! One item at a time per character. No text from villagers. They don't have names!!!! They don't feel like villagers!!! They feel like robots!!!! Not a single one of them fights back!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK???? JUST ADD ONE THAT FIGHTS BACK YOU MORONS!!! NOT THAT WEIRD ASS GOLEM!!!
AND NO ONE GIVES TOO FUCKING SHITS ABOUT THE GOSSIP SYSTEM MC DEVS. NO OONEEEEE!!!
Terraria is not a perfect game, but it doesn't just try to be a good rpg, it actually is.
Meanwhile every 3d sandbox after minecraft will either be a filthy clone or not exist at all by fear of being labeled as such. Because of that I will keep on trashing on minecraft, even though I still play it a lot.14
System Engineer who is adhoc scrummaster got all pissy when us devs did not transition their jira tickets when they merged with develop.
Jesus christ take five minutes, google it and figure out how to do it automatically and while you are add it add the fucking reviewers!
It’s a pain to do it each time!!!!
Ticket: implement compression algorithm to crypto object x
Details: object to big, we must devise a way to compress it. A deflate algorithm should be added here, yada yada yada we did not have the time Yara yada...
Go see crypto provider's documentation... It has compression options... -_-
You lazy fucking stack overflow copy question dimwits!!! Jesus fucking Christ! This reached production like this shit, I've got clients complaining of the size of the payload because you are a bunch of lazy fucks who can't even read simple documentation!!!
I want to kill someone for wasting my time and patience... Don't call me for this kind of crap... I have better things to do!
I mean, the time it took you to write the ticket should suffice...
Ooh this project.. So I was put in charge of creating new pages, and general maintenance as the site was already built by a previous dev on the team before i joined the company. I take a look at the design, fairly strange forward quick analysis most of it bootstrapable, some custom code is needed for some parts so no issues there.
Looks at the code, only the bootstrap grid system is being used, the rest is custom code, an additional 9K lines of CSS and 526 lines of JS. What the hell is this.2
JESUS CHRIST GOOGLE YOU ARE A MULTIBILLION DOLLAR COMPANY HOW THE FUCK IS YOUR WEBSITE DESIGN SO SHIT?
goddamit with the amount of fucking whitespace on YouTube I could fit an entire fucking copy of the website in.4
Until the old Dev left this team, I never had to handle any of the website end of things. Now he's gone, I've had to look through his code, and Jesus Christ I didn't know you could be hired to do things without knowing what functions are. It's just long strings of PHP includes.3
Java trainer: "...object orientated..."
Jesus Christ! Get it right, pronunciation matters! And you're teaching it to beginners!
Jesus fucking christ, fuck angular sometimes ... most of the times. just fuck it
And fuck me even more for writing such shit components when I started out with it.
Takes forever to find the shit that isn't working due to angulars magic change detection and the shittx performance of local dev environment.
Has to run in JIT because the app it too big, and then it takes 10 sec to build everytime you change something. And during that time i get a 100% cpu usage which kills vscode so I cant do anything properly
fuck it, i just wanna have a nice weekend now1
How does anyone wrangle all these fucking JS packages!
Trying to fix issue where a table overflow problem...only in firefox. Found a quick fix then discovered it does not work when there is an event with a handle.
So come to find out perfect scrollbar does not like flex nor firefox (the only browser for the end user)
Jesus christ I miss laravel.
Currently working on a conversion of a tool we use to keep track of our working hours (like how much time did we spend on that task, that project etc.), because the old version of that language sucks ass and the database system sucks even more ass.
Besides the other stuff that's freaking horrible in that fucking shit tool (crashes when entering wrong input, etc.) - the genius that created that peace of crap (1997!) decided that he wants to use a fucking timestamp as a PK-column on some tables.
Why the fuck would you that?! Jesus fuckin' christ.
And of course, the fuckin apprentice has to deal with this shit and has to be finished yesterday x)3
I don’t know if they really don’t want Sass or if they’re just scared to try it.
Not all new techs are horrible.
Hope one day they will realize that using CSS preprocessors is way better. And it’s not that as complicated as it sounds. Jesus Christ.
@ pro-CSS frontends, any thoughts?5
Win7 Task manager: 7 slack.exe processes running after shutting down app. Force closes 1 process, revives itself. 16 chrome.exe processes running after closing chrome. 8 node.exe running when no more node apps running.. Jesus christ, clean up after yourself Windows.. No wonder virtual box complained about not enough memory to run Windows 10 image because I have to test my web app on Edge browser..1
Any one else dissapointed in what direction Play (scala) is going? Jesus christ i cant even mock my authentication anymore without a shit ton of refactor...
First contact with XEN.
Xen Orchestrator UI / Web, logged in first time...
Wow. The UI is a big giant mess...
I don't care for this fucking bling bling shit... Need to have an overview of all VMs.
Oh Lord... Wtf... Icon hell...
Hm, I need more detailed information... Ah. Found the button.
Wtf... What's taking so long...
Bloody shit.... Why does it include real data diagrams of usage statistic per row????!!! (had pagination set to 100 rows, one row is one VM)...
Bloody christ, ain't no option to configure that monstrosity... Export function?... Nope... Great. This will be a giant fuckfest...
Rest API? Nope.... Non existent as it seems. Thought that would be common in the 21st century... Guess what, nope.
Oh interesting. An cli client in NPM?
Hm, pretty scarce documentation...
Poked it a bit... Got first results...
xo-cli --list-objects type=VM
Let's take a look...
Oh JSON. Gooooooo(d)....
Wow. The document structure looks like someone puked out alphabet soup...
Or maybe the dev had hemorrhagic fever and was suffering from delusion and blood loss.
After this... More than devastating experience...
I took a look at Proxmox REST API.
Sweet jesus. That's like... Stone Age to 23rd century. Oo
Seriously... It seems not so hard to define an API to get the data of all VMs... Without suffering a traumatic brain injury.1