No. More. Writing. Code. On. A. Fucking. Piece. Of. Paper.

 (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

CSS is easy until you open your website in another browser.

Me: Goodnight!!

Brain: psst..

Me: What?

Brain: How can you just leave that piece of code behind? Unfinished?

An iPad Pro is totally better than a computer.

Can I code on that piece of fuck? No? Fuck off.

Found this piece of gold 😂

> Receive sudden phone call in the middle of the night
> Check caller, unknown number
> "Either something bad happened or it's something urgent. I'd better answer."
> "Hello?"
> Friend of friend of friend says he updated his gpu drivers and now has some random fps drops.
> I was in a good mood so I agreed to help him over teamviewer, even though I don't know him.
> Downgrading to an older version of nvidia driver seemed to have fixed the drops.
> 5 minutes later, he calls again. His headset is not working properly.
> Helped him fix the issue over teamviever.
> This continued for at least 2 hours, calling me every 5 minutes to install just another driver or change some random win setting. Turned out he had some retard format his pc because he thought it'd "make it go faster".
> Calls me again, this time he's pc isn't booting up at all. After 20 minutes on the phone the fucktard admits he just tried to reformat his pc because "my pc automatically installed a bad windows update" ( no, I don't understand either) but he fucked it up.
> I begin explaining him how to make a bootable usb stick, how to change the boot order etc to reinstall windows. I even suggested that I'd help him setup win/drivers after windows's done installing.
> He lets me go for about an hour explaining.
> "So that's it. When the setup is over, call me again and I'll help you install the drivers."
> "Bro this sounds complicated, why don't you come over? This won't even take you 5 minutes"

YOU MOTHERFUCKING PIECE OF SHIT
YOU FUCKING TRASH
CALL ME AGAIN AND I'LL SHOVE YOUR GIGABYTE GEFORCE GTX1060 6GB UP YOUR ASS, PERPENDICULARLY

The motherfucker even called me "bro"

"Look I found a good use of this piece of shit printer"

So I visited my aunt's house a few days back.
They heard I write code (read: Google and copy-paste from Stack Overflow), and wanted me to help repair their computers.
Saw my cousin playing Battlefield 4 at sub-20 fps with a GTX 750 Ti on the lowest settings. His fucking CPU fan was bust, and judging by the amount of dust in his system, I literally thought he was cramming dust in there on purpose.

After a heavy dusting, another stick of RAM (4GB -> 12GB), a new heatsink (CoolerMaster T400i), and a fresh copy of Windows 10 (along with Office, etc.), he could play games at 60+ fps again.

What do I get? Not even a fucking thank you. Just a "you done yet? I want to play video games."
I mean... Gee. Your cousin flew all the way to a new continent, spent his precious vacation time helping you out, and all he gets is a cold-ass shoulder.
Even my fucking ex gave me more than that.

Dave you're a piece of shit

Another piece of code that a guy in my office wrote. Now ex-employee!

Days upon days I've spent on making this shit. Now the PC doesn't recognize it as a fucking hub, and instead it's just a glorified LED with some audio connectors next to it. What a fantastic waste of time 😑

Started at a new job and found this hilarious piece of code

A blue screen a day,
keeps the productivity away!!

FUCK!!!

Person at work, staring at my keyboard: How much was it?
Me: The keyboard? Oh it's a cheap one for around $30.
Person: Huh... I'll never get you rich boys and your fads.

Well, I don't fucking judge you for your $600 phone, or your $80 shoes or shirts, you cuntwaffle. Fuckin' asshole has the face of a horse's left testicle, is always on his phone, which is arguably fine since he's not a dev but still fuck him, and has the gall to call me bringing my mechanical keyboard to work a 'rich fad'. Oh, that's rich coming from you. Ever seen your ugly mug in your undeserved branded clothing, you unloved, shit-gobbling piece of shit?

"You type so loud." And you breathe too loud but I don't tell you to stop but maybe I ought to.

Go suck on your daddy-uncle's chode for a couple more bucks and stop hanging around me, you judgemental cum-snorting piece of shit.

P.s. it's a cheap keyboard with blue switches but the office is normally noisy and busy enough that no one gives a shit about it. Planning on buying an Anne Pro sometime next month.

Aparently there is piece of code out there, which is completely bug free.. its called hello world.

Another piece of art by MS 😂

Sometimes I write inline CSS because I'm a lazy piece of shit.

The most important piece of code in any of my sites.

Writing a master piece

If Rockstar wants some piece of AR gaming.

IE8 YOU MOTHERFUCKING PIECE OF SHIT.

I tell my Google assistant it's a stupid piece of garbage all the time lmao

To the dev who wrote this piece of shit:

Please, stop writing code, NOW!

Eclipse is a piece of shit.

Fucking piece of shit forum won't let me view a fucking jpg file without creating a fucking account. Fuck you.

Did a fucking amazing piece of code today, no one will ever know :/

Be me, and write a reminder down with a // in front of it.
On a piece of paper.

Just sold my first piece of software. All solo development

My favorite piece of conference swag, from Nodevember

Dude, my floor is more colorful than your github contribution! Lazy piece of fuck

Saying that Sharepoint was coded by a bunch of trained monkeys would be an understatement and an insult to monkeys. Why is it such a bloody mess? 😡

Skype for business is a total fucking piece of shit.

🎶 On the sixth day of debugging my program gave to me ...

6 failed tests
5 help forums
4 broken dependencies
3 edge cases
2 moving specs
And 1 keyboard smashed in rage 🎶

This little carol is dedicated to the buggy-as-fuck nodejs project I was given for fixes and updates.

Happy holidays everyone

xCode is the worst piece of shit IDE ever created.

Literally every piece of code I’m debugging rn

Hhhmmmmmmm a useless piece of shit like always it is then

Well this is just a fine piece of machinery. Heavy too.

Javascript is a horrible language.

I really try to like it but I can't. Even the wonderous node ecosystem can't redeem Javascript's flaws.

Seriously how the fuck could they invent such a bad language and make it so damn popular. Why couldn't they used an existing language's syntax to make life easier.

The most incompetent co-worker is that idiot who wrote this piece of crappy code! Oh wait, that's me!

I call this piece of art ":(".

Featuring "MEMORY_MANAGEMENT", "CRITICAL_STRUCTURE_CORRUPTION" and "REFERENCE_BY_POINTER"

That moment when rewriting the piece of the code is easier than debugging.

"That piece of code sucks...I will fix that tomorrow."

Meanwhile, at the NSA.

Who still puts a piece of tape on the webcam? 😁

I'M NOT EVEN FUCKING DOING ANYTHING! WHAT THE FLYING FUCK? PIECE OF WANK BATTERY

Oh god this is not going to plan!
This is the first piece of art I've ever done haha

So this happen on my previous workplace. I worked there for 4 years and quitting was the best decision I made while was there.

One manager/owner there was the most toxic, piece of shit, disrespectful cunt I have ever worked with. The type of guy that comes in and every person's productivity goes down in a heartbeat.

As he was a owner he usually came in later. This one morning it was 11-ish and a meeting with a client was happening and it was an open space.

He comes in.
He puts his laptop down.
He sits.
He screams of the top of his lungs:
- WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?
- ANTS ALL OVER MY DESK!!!
- I CAN'T WORK LIKE THIS.

He leaves for about 30 min.
He came back with a can of spray, and literally intoxicated the office and everybody had to stop working.

And there you go one of my last place's beautiful stories.

Never trust Windows to do anything right

Well I am fully convinced.
Best app to learn phython programemeing language.

What piece of advice u can give to a couple who are developer and getting married.
*Don't forget to COMMIT*

Dear dev at my company:

FUCK YOU AND YOUR PIECE OF SHIT API.

My friend just sent me this piece of code...

Not sure I can take this...

Invaluable piece of information and favor to successors🤣

Last piece of the puzzle just arrived.

That feeling when your client connection is more stable than the connection of a fucking game server... Incompetent pieces of shit!!! BEING ABLE TO PUT A COUPLE OF SPRITES DOESN'T MAKE YOU A FUCKING SYSADMIN!!!

Oh and I sent those very incompetent fucks a mail earlier, because my mailers are blocking their servers as per my mailers' security policy. A rant from the old box - their mail servers self-identify a fucking .local!!! Those incompetent shitheads didn't even properly change the values from test into those from prod!! So I sent them an email telling them exactly how they should fix it, as I am running the same MTA on my mailers (Postfix), at some point had to fix my mailers against the exact same issue as well, and clearly noticed in-game that they have deliverability problems (they explicitly mention to unblock their domain). Guess why?! Because their server's shitty configuration triggers fucking security mechanisms that are built against rogue mailers that attempt to spoof themselves as an internal mailer, with that fucking .local! And they STILL DIDN'T CHANGE IT!!!! Your fucking domain has no issues whatsoever, it's your goddamn fucking mail servers that YOU ASOBIMO FUCKERS SHOULD JUST FIX ALREADY!!! MOTHERFUCKERS!!!!!

IT'S ALMOST 2021 AND I STILL HAVE TO FUCK WITH WSCRIPT OBJECTS FOR AN INTERNET EXPLORER WEB APP WHY? 😡

Found this gem in some old piece of code:

public static void printStackTrace(Exception e){
e.printStackTrace();
}

Have I? You're asking me?

I have no fucking clue Lync, I don't see anything. Why don't you tell me if I have ... and then where it is!

WTF BOSS?

STOP WRITING THESE FUCKING OBVIOUS SQL INJECTABLE CODE YOU STUPID PIECE OF SHIT!!!

BURN MOTHERFUCKER, BURN!!!

Fuck you Citrix you piece of shit!

Monthly reminder that Eclipse IDE sucks horse dick.

Worthless piece of baboon feces.

Enjoy this ultra⁻DRY piece of React-JSX-Redux-form component

iOS 11 you buggy piece of shit!

Layouts breaking all around, can’t figure out if it’s in landscape or portrait mode, lock menu disapearing, minimizing apps breaks them...

Oooh, you invented a GENIUS NEW option to turn mobile data on from launch control, but WiFi and Bluetooth buttons don’t turn these off, but disconnect from current network... WHOSE SMART ASS IDEA WAS THAT? BURN IN UX HELL ASSHOLE!

Haven’t seen a worse update since Vista...

I consider myself a fucking lazy piece of shit that could probably could come up with something amazing if I wasn't the lazy piece of shit I am.

What one piece of advice would you give to a developer starting their career?

android studio.

what a piece of shit.

Next idiot who starts talking about all the "freetards" who use open source software, how "terrible" FOSS "obviously" is - is going to die a humiliating death as I bludgeon them with a steel box full of Linux distro thumb drives.

Don't bother bailing me out either. I'll do it again and again.

Skipped my lectures at university just to get my new Dell laptop at home.

Here is my experience of dell account portal:

There is a 50-50 chance that your order will appear in the list of orders. It has it's own mind, sometimes it will appear, sometimes it will say it has found no orders.

Now if somehow you do see the order in the list, there is a 50-50 chance that clicking on the order number will actually show you the correct order. Most of the time it will take you to a completely different order, where you can see the name, address and other personal details of a person that you don't know. THANKS DELL!

Now if somehow clicking on the order number takes you to the right order details page, there is a 50-50 chance that there will be no courier information, it will be blank without any information. Sometimes it will show the tracking number, but no courier details.

Right, now let's say that I don't give a fuck about any of these. I stayed home, skipping my lecture, just so that I can get my laptop. They promised me that they will deliver it today and I trust them 🙂

BUT YOU MOTHERFUCKER, not only that they will not deliver it today, they haven't even bothered to give me a call and say that they won't be delivering it today. YOU PIECE OF HORSESHIT, I skipped my fucking lectures for you. Now I have to skip my lectures for another day, just to get my GODDAMN laptop.

FUCK YOU DELL, DIE IN HELL!

Holy fuck need to finish code but storm (fucking fucking biiiiig storm) is coming and your electrocity is down ahhhhh shiiit

No, I do not wish to work on your Scrum-managed project.

I do not wish to contribute to the Taylorism of my profession.

I do not wish to be an interchangeable cog in your software sausage machine.

I do not wish to be tracked by some pointless metrics like a call-centre worker.

I do not wish to bust my tight, cute ass to sprint after some idiotic management request that could have been factored in earlier.

I do not wish to obtain some piss-ant qualification that "authorises" me to do my job.

I do not wish to be party to your lie that technical debt will be avoided by refactoring---whatever the cost.

I do not wish to contribute to the death of software engineering to have it replaced by software development.

Agile? Sure. I can pick up the phone and talk to the client, users and fellow devs. After all, that's what it FUCKING MEANS. Communi-fucking-cation.

See that burndown chart? See your anus? Know what's happening next?

Fuck Scrum and every fucking bottom-feeder that is scamming a living by promoting it. You're killing this business.

Hugs and kisses,

Platypus

Every time when you receive a piece of code and it doesn't work.

Got some feedback for an app today via email...
"You are a fucking idiot! Stupid piece of shit!" Well, I guess one user didn't like it then... Rude fucking wankhat!

You know you've been a dev for to long when a program fails to launch and you instinctively open the log files.

How to appropriately deal with a piece of shit scammer.

My name's not even Deanna.

Seriously, FUCK Safari, piece of shit browser

when I come back to a piece of code that I did not comment

You know a company is ripping you off when they charge £79 for a fucking charger and it breaks in 1 year. Fuck you Apple

What doesn't kill you makes you a god damn fucking useless piece of shit task manager
windows :@

Safari is a piece of fucking piece of fucking shit

THIS FUCKING DEBUGGER IS IGNORING MY FUCKING BREAKPOINTS

GO TO HELL YOU PIECE OF SHIT

AND RSPEC: FUCK YOUR LIMITED METHOD HIT-COUNTING BULLSHIT! ONE HIT-COUNT PER METHOD FOR THE ENTIRE SPEC IS NOT GOOD ENOUGH!

FJA;KLGAKLGJFKSDHG

fuck you!!! i discovered that trick months ago and told you about it so many fucking times you piece of shit dont take credit!!!

INTERNET EXPLODER AND M$ OS 7 WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING YOU LITTLE PIECE OF CTHULHU SHIT

Back when I migrated my file server to a VM, I used robocopy to copy everything over (and caused quite a few fuckups before it'd behave halfway decent.. or so I thought). Now I tried to add my desktop's SSH key to the authorized_keys on said server but it wouldn't accept my key after that. After a bit of digging I've found that my entire home directory (where the file server hosts its mirror of my D: drive) had everything set to 777, and that's why the key isn't accepted. Great permission mode, isn't it? Much secure, very wow! Thank you so much robocopy!!!

Spent whole Saturday without writing a tiny piece of code.

Accomplishment?
or
Procrastination?

I really hate fucking Wordpress!

I hate it's stupid API, with it's stupid hooks and actions and all those stupid functions and no fucking logic to any of it!

I hate it's stupid plugin system, with all that fucking overhead that brings no real value and adds all that complexity for nothing!

I hate stupid fucking multiple calls for the same fucking assets, loading them over and over again because every stupid plugin calls them again and again!

I hate motherfucking SHORTTAGS, or whatever the fuck they are called!

I hate that every stupid fucking plugin and shortcode and fucking every little fucking piece of HTML comes from a different fucking place, with different fucking structure and different fucking classes and stupid fucking loading seaquences that make no fucking sense!

And I hate fucking page builders !!!!!

Fuck!!!!

I should be fucking coding on this fucking peace of shit, but I just cannot fucking take it any more!!!

IT NEEDS TO FUCKING DIE!

It should be relegated to the darkest corners of the internet and all the servers that have it's fucking code anyware on their systems should be disconnected and buried in the deepest pits of hell, just to be sure it never, EVER, surfaces again!!!

AAARRRRGGGHHHHHHH !!!!!!!!!

I'm fairly sure that even if I were to run Windows 10 on a machine with double ECC, it'd still BSOD because of poor memory management. Because why on Earth would Microsoft support such a basic, essential thing properly, hmm?!!

Oh and let's add HDMI to the existing list of ACPI and USB. How difficult can it possibly be to support those basic, most standardized fucking hardware protocols? Pretty fucking insanely hard apparently!!!

Me: We need to move to Vue
My Friend: Why?
Me: Because it's One Piece!!!!

Vodafone is a piece of shit.

Every fucking port is fucking blocked on the fucking piece of shit fucking server. FUCK YOU

same. i'm a piece of shite.

Its my morning rant time... Me and my team are working on implementing our solution into 20 year old piece of shit POS system which:
1. Uses old piece of shit computers - which is slower than average calculator.
2. Uses .Net 2.0 - and no higher versions could be installed.
3. Has 20 year old documentation - outdated as fuck.
4. Throws unknown and non explainable COMExceptions.
5. Works slow as fuck.

And we have to deal with all its issues as 3rd side integration.. FUCK... FUCK.. FUCK....

I can't use the stupid library I want because some fuckhead decided to change a stupid import. I guess backward compatibility for something as stupid as that would be too hard to insure.

Everytime people talk about big data/ operations research

Postman is a bloated piece of garbage

Is WordPress the most misused piece of software nowadays?

Commercial agents love it.

I vote yes.

There is no such thing as finishing a successful project, there is always a broken piece. By fixing that piece, you break another.

Most of our time, we break stuff.

My work computer is so fucking laggy that even simple typing is often infuriating, and sometimes bloody impossible.

My input gets garbled, or it takes so long that I finish typing and have to wait for it to show up. And sometimes. Sometimes it’s just. I don’t have words. I just typed “merchants”, saw a giant spam of “eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee[...]” and then saw it replaced with “etsmhcaern”. What. The. 🦆.

Extremely Dangerous Developer....

Master piece of coding Logic....

Just delivered an important fix for a key piece of functionality.

OpenGL, you outdated piece of shit. 😤

Found this ironic piece of code in our codebase. Thought i’d share :)

Xcode, the most piece of shit motherfucking IDE!!!

When I finally get my hands on the person who wrote that terrible piece of code.

I don't fucking believe it! Who the fuck navigates on right click!? Invision, you fucking piece of shit! Can't you do one fucking thing right?

Oh GODDAMIT Nexus!!!

You gotta love it when you're in a hurry, unlock the fucking phone while it is plugged in to the goddamn charger, and the bloody thing just fucking shuts down because the battery is apparently empty. WHEN YOU HAVE A FUCKING 15 WATT CHARGING CABLE STUFFED UP YOUR BUTT?!!

You know Google, if I wanted an iPhone battery with tons of little "features", don't you think that I would've bought a fucking iPhone?!

Why the fuck does Apple hate developers so much? I just want to test and play around a bit. Why do I have to own a fucking Mac? Why do I need to pay 99$ a year just to install a debug build on my own device?! It's literally impossible to get into ios development without being rich or having some kind of plan for revenue...

Testing my app on Android:
Install Android studio -> plug in phone -> run code in Android Studio or simply install the resulting apk on your phone.

Trying to test my app on my iPad:
Google how to build app for iPad -> reading that you have to own a Mac to run xcode when you want to build Code for iOS -> searching for a workaround -> find a way to build my app online -> setting the tool and building it -> Trying out 5 different tools to sideload the app, no one works -> finding out that you need a developer account to sign the app for testing purposes on MY OWN DEVICE. I really would appreciate it if I would be able to install personal stuff for testing and LEARNING without being forced into insolvency. Why are people putting up with this kind of bullshit?

Dear Apple, why not make Swift good instead of a piece of shit? Just a thought.

CUDA!!!! your documentation is a whole bunch of Wingdings you piece of **** !!

Fuck you whoever designed this shitty database!

Why the fuck do you mix up underscores and hyphens? Plus MSSQL is a little fragile boy, he doesn’t like hyphens that much and you have to add brackets fucking everywhere, so FUCK YOU.

Fucking learn to design things or go fuck your fist while sitting on a banana tree, seriously.

There's always a moment when your entire codebase starts breaking up piece by piece and you just wonder why did you choose this job, why you are a programmer, why you don't work at a bar or something like that

Power BI is fucking piece of shit

When someone tries to get a piece of me...

iCloud is a piece of sh*t...!!!

<rant>
I fucking HATE the Arduino environment right now.

First of all: you can't fucking put your project files in a sub folder to the main file. I can't write #include "src/motor.hpp" because it doesn't fucking know what that means.
Turns out you have to put all your header files in the fucking library folder common for all Arduino projects!

Secondly, you can't call your cpp headers hpp, they HAVE to be called h, or the Arduino environment throws a fit and begins whining about being unable to find the fucking files.
Not just that! You can't reference other Arduino libraries from within your library because the environment doesn't know what that means either.
To get around that you need to fucking include the library in your main file, AND THEN you can include it in the library file that uses it. After all, it should be the programmer's job to soon feed a so called IDE, right?

I'M SO FUCKING DONE WITH THIS SHIT! 😤

I'm ready to either program the Arduino directly with an AVR programmer or even port the entire project to the raspberry pi where I have a proper fucking Linux environment with a proper fucking directory structure so I can code proper fucking C++.
Hell I'm even fucking willing to spend all weekend porting all the code myself if necessary.

It's not reasonable that correct fucking C++ code is invalidated because I called the files something "wrong" and put them in the "wrong" directory.
</rant>

"user friendly project board" my ass

The piece of shit ‘edge’ is now available on Mac... Yippee!

So a non programmer friend of mine needed an in house time tracking tool and found one on codecanyon. He bought it for 40$ and asked me if I could provide him some Webspace to host it until they deploy it in house. I said yes and took a look at the code as some stuff wasn't really working. All I can say is "wtf is that pile of crap". Nothing works, it looks like it's written by a first grader and it's UI looks like it was assembled by a chimp (well actually I think chimpanzees could make a better UI). Now I am interested the progress of rewriting that tool for him and I am almost done with all functions that thing should have and even more after 6 hours. I wonder if all stuff on codecanyon has the same quality and if, I am considering this as bonus income...

Firefox is a useless piece of shit on Mac.

Facebook you fucking piece of shit! Oh, React, not you love. You are great.

Go suck a dick, CMake. Fucking piece of shit.

Opencv, you are powerful, but you are one big fat piece of horse shit. Period.

I nominate "polyfill" for worst most confusing ambiguous fucking name for a piece of code ever.

Long story short,

Fuck programmers who call them selves entrepreneurs (pronounced in French), I'm going to entre-preneur my dick in your fucking worthless calculator you piece of camel cum!!!

WHY is Win10 such a PIECE OF SHIT !!!

My everyday piece of WTF

Ninjaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa i fucking hate you you fucking piece of useless crap. When i say you build with one thread build it with one fucking damn thread and not the entire damn CPU.
See good old make can understand it and does as i say him to do.
Why cant you be like him and listen to what i tell you to do ?
Nooooo you just have to replace the entire fucking arguments i gave you with your fucking own just for fucking fun and make me fucking mad at you.
You really are fucking useless piece of crap but other then android build you are pretty decent.
But still piece of crap for android.
Not to say that build takes 2 hours longer with you.
Im fucking lucky to be building 7.1 android where i can turn you fucking off since i cant do that with 8.1 since google thinks you are fucking better.

javascript is a piece of shit

code not working?
comment code and try to run
uncomment piece by piece
code back to original
running...

apparently, the code didn't know it was right

MacOS sierra is a piece of garbage

There I said it

Can we PLEASE delete FUCKING AWS!!!

Fuck this god damn piece of shitware

I wish Windows 10 wasn't a piece of shit

Eclipse, you fucking piece of shit

Fucking HP piece of shit

i am writing a piece of code that i already feel guilty about,
alternate is refactoring a complete module.

Was filling an important form. It required my updated CV. Turned on windows to edit my CV. Turned it off and guess what...
Has been like this for the last half an hour

>Why is chrome making my computer turn off all of a sudden?
<Boss, you have a quite old iMac with fully updated chrome, which is known to eat RAM. PLus, you've been using that computer as a donkey to do video editing, even tho it's not made for that (looking at the stats), and you have your home folder on an external hard drive, plus like 10 other apps always active, including premiere, illustrator, airmail (with 12k emails always loaded smh), slack on 2 workspaces and at LEAST 12 chrome tabs on some of the heaviest websites
>Mmh... yeah you're right, I'm kinda asking for it

I pulled the wrong piece in dependency Jenga today :(

Hey guys! Why don't you share your first code of the year?

(At least a small piece of it)

Apache. You. Fucking. Piece. Of. Shit. What. The. Fuck.

Spent three days getting video streaming for an art piece. Just to see it not used in the end.

Adding that little piece of code just before the deadline.

A pencil and a piece of paper.

After more than a year I decided to download whisper (app) again and see what was being said near me.

Holly shit the app is a total disappointment, first it crashes my fucking phone the instant I open it, I try to open it again and my God I'm presented with adds everywhere and a load speed so slow a dying tortoise would run circles around it.

The app finished loading the content and it's a clusterfuck of insipid commentary and images, "I bought beautiful new panties", "my lesbian friend doesn't think I'm cute", "any girl want to talk to me?".

After looking at the decaying state of the app I noticed I had notifications, apparently my account is active somehow, I tried to delete it but as it turns out the app has no way of doing that, YOU NEED TO CONTACT THE FUCKERS!

What the fuck?! Who the hell made this steaming pile of shit and said it was an app?!

Nothing more to add, I deleted right away.

What's the oldest piece of ̶s̶h̶i̶t̶ software you had to work with ?

I AM GONNA KICK SOMEONE IN THE ASS. SO BAD.

Bought a new tv. Over £1000 which is probably classed as mid range. However it's still a chunk of money.

It's my first experience with android since 2008.

It's still ABSOLUTELY SHITE!!!

Wish I'd gotten another TV now.

One thing that really bothers me is that people use use megabyte to mean mebibyte. What makes it even worse is that Windows does it too. It says it shows gigabyte but actually shows gibibyte.

Now imagined my frustration when I saw this D:

If Google hadn't kill Google Play Music, I don't think a single soul would voluntarily switch to it's YouTube Crap Music.
If you remember prior to 2011 the initial plan of Google was to take market away from Apple's iTunes. They initially shipped Amazon music with branded Android OS before the development of Play music.

As a long term user of Play music I'd say "killing the product" was a "bitch move"!
Because Play music is doing really great and you could tell from its reviews and moreover the destination product is quarterly-baked not even a viable replacement in the least sense.
There are more than a million and one problem with YouTube music, currently you would notice your playlist history gets clogged up with your videos when you visit the video web. It's more like the actual YouTube app hiding behind a curtain to mimick a music player. Which is so so stupid and annoying!
As a user all I want from a music player is to fucking listen to music not to watch fucking videos... which makes the app unnecessarily filled with stupid options you never really need.
I understand that monetisation is necessary but please show some fucking courtesy by doing shit with wisdom!

I see lots of ranting about bosses or team members.

My boss values me a lot and my team is open to discussing amd value my opinion.

What the fuck to I rant about? fml

Sorry but who the FUCK designed this piece of crap?

Separation of concerns is a beautiful thing.

JSX is fucking ugly. Fuck that shit. I hate JSX with a passion.

Here is one. Did you know that the digestive system works really hard to digest the food eaten?

How about we blend all the food before consuming it? Take a blender and add a cup of coffee, add some salad, add a piece of cake, a few slices of pizza, hot sauce and for good measure add some juice, or whatever-you-eat-for-lunch.

After all, all that food is going to get mixed anyway. This is more efficient!

No? Why not? Because it's ugly, highly unappetizing, disgusting even, and it takes away the pleasure of eating, the enjoyment of a good meal.

That in a nutshell is JSX: mashing up everything together under the pretext of efficiency.

Web development not only is an art, but above all must be enjoyable to those who devote their lives to it. And ugly ain't gonna cut it.

Apparently the windows 10 anniversary update did "something" to my laptop today.
Keyboard stopped taking input at a random moment a few hours after the update. I shut it down, and it's stuck while shutting down. Pressing the power button has no effect, and the battery is non replaceable (except with a screwdriver and unplugging a cable, which I don't want to do while there is still power running through the system)

Guess I'll just leave it unplugged and hope for the battery to die.
Thanks you Windows 10, thank you Dell P57F002.

Ok, first rant, about my struggles getting reliable internet over the past 6 years. It's not too interesting of a topic, but here we go:

I'm living in a more rural part of Germany and internet here is shit. I pay more than 50 bucks a month for 700kb/s downstream (let's just not talk about upstream...), which is meh by itself but it gets worse. Before this I had roughly 230kb/s downstream using DSL. My provider came out with a new oh-so-fucking-fancy solution for giving people faster internet without upgrading their lame ass fucking backbone and POS infrastructure from 70 years ago: they sell you hybrid internet which combines your shit DSL and an LTE connection using TCP Multicast. Not only do I get only 6 of my promised (and payed for) 50 Mbit, no, It's also a fucking piece of nonworking shit!!!

Let me illustrate:
You constantly have problems with web content (or any remote content) not loading because the host server does not support TCP Multicast. It either refuses connection altogether or it takes about 30-50 seconds to establish a connection. Think about your live when it takes two or three fucking minutes to load 5 YouTube thumbnails or load new tweets at the bottom of the Twitter page! Also, you never know if you a) have an error in your implementation of a new API or if b) the remote host doesn't support TCPMC (there's never an error for that! Fuck you!), your SSH sessions ALWAYS drop in the most inopportune fucking moments because the LTE thing lost connection, you always have to turn on a VPN if you want to visit specific websites (for example your school's website) and so on....

Oh and also, my provider started throttling specific services again these days with Netflix and YouTube struggling to display 240p, fucking 240p video without buffering when I get 600kbit down on steam (ofc the steam download is paused when watching videos). When using a VPN, YouTube 720p and Netflix HD work like a charm again. Fucking Telekom bastards

Then there is the problem with VPNs. The good thing about them is that they solve all the TCP Multicast problems. Yay. Now for the bad things:
First of all, as soon as I use a VPN, access times to remote go up by like fucking 500%. A fucking DNS lookup takes 8-15 seconds!!! The bandwidth is there but it takes forever.. because reasons I guess. Then the speed drops to DSL speeds after a while because the router turns off my LTE connection when it is unused and it does not detect VPN traffic as traffic (again because... Reasons?) And also, the VPN just dies after an hour and you have to manually reconnect (with every VPN provider so far)

And as if that wasn't enough, now the lan is dying on me, too, with the router (the fucking expensive hybrid piece of shit, 230 bucks..) not providing DHCP service anymore or completely refusing all wifi connections or randomly dropping 5Ghz devices, or.....

You get the point.

The worst thing is, they recently layed down 400mbit fiber in my neighborhood. Guess where the FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT CABLE ENDS??? YEAH, RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY NEIGHBORS HOUSE. STREET NUMBER 19 IS SERVED WITH 400MBIT AND MY HOME, THE 20, IS NOT IN THEIR FUCKING SERVICE REGION. Even though there is a fucking cable with the cable companies name on it on my property, even leading up to my house! They still refuse to acknowledge it! FUCK YOU!!!!

Well anyways thanks for reading. Any of you got the same problems? :/

Fuck you YouTube for TV, I can't use the fucking keyboard now... Fucking piece of useless shit...

Fucking frustrating piece of shit colleges. I’m fucking tired of losing face covering up your assess! Do your fucking job properly you mutherfuckin-piece-of-shit! Fucking full of excuses!! Own what you fucking do!!!

How Google AdSense is a bigger piece of shit than you think...

LinkedIn's private mode is a useless piece of shit.

Comment banners, urgh! >:(

/******************************/
/* Initialize */
/******************************/

Write a FUNCTION you lazy piece of ****!

I'm a whiny piece of shit. Satan, help me.

when your mouse is a signal-less piece of sh#* coz you've lost the bluetooth module.... and that makes you a piece of sh#* coz no one said unplugging was needed

<warning>bad words</warning>

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!!! LibreOffice Impress is a complete shit!! I am all about open source and such but this shit just sucks, moving elements around a frame snaps them to some grid, however when you paste an element from other frame it will have a different grid!!! This motherfucker has got an ALT function that will allow you to move the element more precisely but it only works seldom and it hates it when I try to use the fucking arrow keys - it even crashed once when I tried it. AND WHEN YOU FUCKING COPY A TABLE FROM ONE FUCKING FRAME TO ANOTHER MOTHERFUCKING FRAME, DELETE A FEW ROWS AND THEN COPY THE FREAKING TABLE BACK IT WILL HAVE MAGICALLY DIFFERENT DIMENSIONS BUT JUST EVER SO SLIGHTLY, BECAUSE FUCK THE USER, RIGHT??!!! (Doing this because there is no way to split tables into two different objects) I constantly have to save my presentation, kill the process and open it again because something just stops working or gets stuck, like seriously, WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCKING FUCK???!!! Are there no tests?!!! Do the people who work on this piece of motherfucking shit even use it???!!

Windows 10 - You unreliable fucking piece of shit excuse for an OS!

The fucking thing smells urgency, I tell ya. And it fails when you need it the most! The worst part is, you can't even open the start menu without letting a whole bunch of background tasks and network fetches from eating your CPU cycles and system memory. I don't need your fucking suggestions for your lame ass apps. I don't want to give you feedback about the "Microsoft experience" (which I'm reconsidering), I don't want to be prompted every 5 seconds to reboot my PC for system updates to take effect. Stop fucking with my productivity!

FUUUUUCCCCCKKKKK!!!!!!!

Clever piece of code.

If you wanna think that I'm a bad programmer, that's ok, but I can't put up anymore with Xcode.

Jesus Christ. An entire afternoon spent trying to make an array with two dimensions. I tried every fucking way I found in SO, in the apple site and in every another site that I found in my way.

First: For every example for Swift 3 there's another 10 for Swift <3.

Second: Mutable arrays, as I'm noticing, aren't a thing anymore, so, to declaring array size we go! Except it's impossible to. Tried 3 different ways. Not a single one worked.

Third: Actually, one of the 3 tries worked, for int arrays, and for some obscure reason it won't work for strings, as declaring the array as [String] is too general for swift, I mean, I completely agree with it, a [String] array could contain anything right???? FUCK NO. IT CONTAINS STRINGS YOU FUCKER!!!!

I swear, if the equipment was mine and not from the office, I would have thrown that piece of shit which disconnects from the fucking computer every 30 seconds that apple calls keyboard out of the window already.

Why the fuck do I need to develop for iOS in swift/xcode?? There's so many cross platform alternatives out there, good ones in fact, but no, we must build the applications natively or else the phone will catch on fire according to my boss.

I kinda liked Apple until now.
From now on? Fuck Apple.

It's just a piece of paper which tells that I know something.

When you say to a non-techy: "This is complex."
Meaning: "I don't want to spend my time explaining this to you" / "I don't care".

I swear, every time I open up this outdated piece of shit. This company needs to update baaaad

The struggle with installing opencv is fucking real!
FUCK YOU PIECE OF A SHIT

sometimes you just can't deal with that messy piece of shit iptables frontend

Fuck heroku, fuck precompiling assets, fuck the assets pipeline, fuck fuck fuck fucking piece of shit

Oh dear Senior Developer, you incompetent piece of shit

Paint.NET is a worthless piece of garbage.

Ah. The joy of installing arch fills through my veins...

I so did not miss installing it twice just to get it correctly installed... But m addicted!

FML

I applaud myself for this absolutely ironic piece of code. Dunno when i wrote this.

The foul excuse for a human I live with has been blasting the fucking radio ALL FUCKING NIGHT.

I've had no sleep, he's STILL pissed out his head, and if he doesn't shut the fuck up I'm going to lock him in and burn the house down.

just leaving this wonderful piece of legacy code here...

ms sql server may be the worst piece of software I've ever worked with.

I think my exhaust needs some refactoring too...

I'm going to change database structure for the 5th time now. Thank you documentation, you useless piece of shit.

Just finished my Kubernetes book... This little piece of tech is amazing!!

I have to debug a very complicated piece of code right now... 290+ lines of code here I come 😰

A nice strip of sellotape across the telephone mouth piece was a simple but effective jape.

It's made me realize how much I miss drawing something on a piece of paper while explaining it.

When they tell you you have to start supporting a piece of legacy code.

Ok. FUCK THIS SHIT.

It's been like literally 15 minutes and I've been struggling, trying to *do* something at all.

I don't know why or how my experience with firefox has just plumetted through the floor. I partially blamed my slow ass HDD but guess what, chrome ran beautifully last I checked.

Fuck Anaconda Navigator. Sincerely, the worst piece of "software" that has ever existed

When you find that one critical piece of documentation that you need causally mentioned in a github comment somewhere. They'll never know how happy they made me :D

My reaction when I use someone's pc, "How the hel* you use this piece of junk?"

If you ever did decide to get a piece of code tattooed. What would it be?

pip

A piece of shit compared to what other languages have.

When a client said, ofc you can add this feature all you have to do is to press two buttons!! Oh really??? Come and press them your self if it's too easy for you and I will pay you!!! You little piece of shit!!!!