Today my current company fuck itself.

We were in negotiations about the end of my contract/mission, I want to quit to create a company around AI.

And the actual chairman said to me "You think too highly of yourself. I could find a tenth of people to replace you so shut up and take what we offer".

30 minutes later they received my resignation. 1h after that, the 15 dev under me resigned (after two year working with us they are clearly under paid). At the end of the day, the Head of product and the two good PO resigned.

This morning I get an email, talking about suing me as I made everyone resigned and asking for a meeting.
So I went to the meeting with a lawyer, they weren't expecting it. Boring legal stuff came after that.

And the funny fact: at the end of the meeting the CIO, chief ops and the SRE resigned as well.... As they didn't want to have the run it without all the team...

Funny day :)

Last month the main product, 90% of the company use it, was launched. And in three months 80% if the IT profiles will be out...

Dear StackOverflow-Team,
How can I be productive, if you show me those kind of "Hot network questions"?

I'm so sorry if this has been posted before! I thought it was kinda funny, and ought to share it with you guys.

Manager: We need to setup the security in the Mexico server

Dev: You mean that 3rd party firewall add on?

Manager: Yes

Dev: And set up the billing on the Mexico account?

Manager: Yes

Dev: lol, sure thing I’ll create the ticket

Manager: What’s so funny?

Dev: Nothing

Ticket: Build wall and get Mexico to pay for it.

FUCK YOU, STOP FUCKING WITH ME! my stupid fucking colleague has just replaced all the semi colons in my repo with Greek question marks for the 5TH FUCKING TIME THIS MONTH. it wasn't funny to start, it isn't funny now, so take your fucking rat-like grin and hyena laugh and FUCK OFF AND WORK! fuck me

Girlfriend: "My computer is so slow!"

Me: "Have you tried turning it off and then on again?"

Girlfriend: "That's not funny, I actually need help."

Me: "Okay babe, I know you think I'm being an ass right now or tying to be funny, but honest to god half of what pays rent here and buys you so many flowers is me telling people to turn something of and then on again. Just try it."

Girlfriend: *Restarts computer*... "You were right..."

Finally some true humor on Stackoverflow

This is not mine, but I found it funny so wanted to share !

Here's a funny joke

A man walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender says "okay but only if you tell me a meta joke". So the man says a man walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender says "okay but only if you tell me a meta joke". So the man says  man walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender gives him a beer. The bartender gives him a beer. The bartender gives him a beer.

Ranted about this internship before but just remembered this.

1st internship.

The employees and the boss were having a joke/laugh. I found it funny as well so I laughed along

A little later the boss pulled me outside (as well as my internship guide person): why where you laughing along? You had nothing to do with that conversation. It was none of your fucking business. Stay out of other people's business, understood?

I was scared, shaking and trying to keep my tears in.

That was not the best internship.

Normal devRant user:

- Look, the algo it's awesome, it matches similar content posts, it's so funny!

Meanwhile at devRant Headquarters:

trogus: When are you telling them?
dfox: Ignorance is bliss, my friend
trogus: Well, at least we know the random number generator it's not coded by Sony though, otherwise they would suspect

!Rant
Thought this was kind of funny for us lady devs/programmers, and something we can relate to.

The lady in the image is an engineer/programmer and is getting married but doesn't have any girlfriends (since she works in a mostly male oriented field, like us). So instead of having female bridesmaids she had her close brogrammers / college classmates stand up in her wedding with her. I mean, it was probably less drama, anyways! 😂

I'm the only girl on my team so I def relate!

*not my pic*

So in Telegram there is this funny little game called Lumberjack where you need to click left and right to cut the branches. My and my fellow students played this in the group. Then I got bored for like 30 minutes and decided to write a little bot which checks where the branches are with pixel detection and sends a left/right click to the window. Imagine my friends faces when all of sudden my score was 500+ and the character ran through this like a fucking jackhammer :D
#justmebeingaprogrammer

You know what's funny?

Being called Jason.

Developers when talking about APIs and similar stuff: "So if you connect to our API you can get XML or JSON-" <pause>
<looks at me with a smirk like "haha! JSON/JASON LOL!">
<I gently smile like saying "yes. yes. I know. Thank you">

Sigh

Scrum Meeting
PM: What did you do yesterday?
Me: Tried to come up with a funny post on DevRant.
PM: Wait... So you didn't write any code?
Me: Oh yeah of course I did! I came up with algorithm that grabs the highest rated rants and compares them to determine the best time of day I should post said rant, to get the best possible amount of up votes.

That was funny and so true

When I see a not-so-funny-rant with 19++

Lol..,
This is so funny 🤣🤣

When you're hard at work on an algo but forgot to take your ADHD medicine so the squirrels are fighting outside but need to check Facebook statuses and having a dance party to Cotton Eyed Joe is a great coworker on LinkedIn which is now coded in Ember JS is weird compared to Python and my pencil is a funny color and my keyboard is shiny. I forgot the punchline. I'm gonna have a bowl of cereal. What was I doing?

It's funny, Oslo did an experiment a while ago to see how many IMSI catchers (fake cellphone towers to track everyone nearby) were used around the city

The experiment showed so many IMSI catchers that the researches thought their equipment was malfunctioning.

Actually, the whole fucking city was rigged with the catchers.

When I'm sitting at home scrolling through rants and laughing once in a while, my boyfriend always wants to know what's so funny. Most of the time I then have to explain the rant and he always says "you IT guys are sooo weird" and shakes his head
🤓🙈😂

So I was looking through my year-old code and found this.

I'm a pretty funny guy.

So... I still go to school.
My English teacher (I'm from Germany) wanted to watch a video with us. There was one Problem. The sound didnt work. My teacher asked for computer Freaks in class. All pointed to me. I went to the desk where the computer was standing.

They plugged the audio output cable for the speakers into the audio input of the computer (that pink microphone input)... 😥 it made some nice sounds haha

Funny thing: other teachers didnt solve the problem before me

This is a funny one:

I found this gem in SO.
Why is it funny? Well, PDVSA is the state-owned company for oil production of my country (Petróleos De Venezuela).

This little intern decided that it was a good idea to publish in SO an answer with actual code, showing database and tables names to everyone.

Priceless.

At my sisters place together with my parents. Showed my 100K accomplishment and I'm now showing my mother around.

It's funny how certain terms are hard to grasp for not so techy people!

I need to stop reading devRant posts on the train and in public in general. These rants be cracking me up too much. Most awkward when you try to explain to someone who cares to know what's so funny and you know they can't relate so you're just sitting like.....

It's funny how every one says Google respects your privacy.

I remember a few months ago, one of my manuscripts was removed by Google because it "violated the terms and services."

First of all, it's just a psychological crime thriller about murder. I read the terms and services and it said nothing about murder, so I didn't violate anything.

Second of all, assuming they removed it for the reason it was all bloody and about murder, how would they know that? Did they start snooping and read my manuscript?

Fortunately, it was recovered the next day, but if Google cares so much about your privacy, why would they read my document?

I love fakeupdate.net - that's the way I teach my colleges to lock their screen when they leave the room.

Yesterday I made a Windows 98 screen, turned off the other monitor and disabled the keyboard. First my college was so cool and said: "I know this already just press f11" then he freaked out why this isn't working and wanted to call the support. Was a funny day.

everyone in class was so silent when suddenly one guy pops up and says:

" 'TROJAN' VIRUS? I got it! you know? the trojan horse and shit?"

we all laughed
not because of him just realizing it now

but because we all slapped our faces at the same time, it was kinda funny.

Laughed at this :wq, showed to gf, she can't understand why it's so funny ;)

It's funny to see when certain stuff works without realizing it.

I've got multiple vpn servers and whenever I connect to one it sets my DNS to my pihole's one (hosted on one of my dedicated servers).

I keep forgetting to change my search engine to duckduckgo and no matter what I search for, no page is/was loading and manually have/had to go to duckduckgo.

Then I suddenly realized: the pihole has blacklisted Google so I literally can't connect to google.com/nl!

Awesome 😊

My mother-in-law asked me to reinstall her laptop. I made a deal with her that I will happily do that, but only if it can be a Linux distribution.
She eventually after asking questions about it agreed.
She don't want to go back anymore.

Funny enough, the co-workers didn't understand why is her laptop slightly looks different, so they started to tell her , that the laptop is full with virus.

I explained her that she doesn't even have system privilege to install one even if she wants.

She was happy with the answer :D

I think I just completely ruined the day of a guy I know.

I thought I was funny and told him to "rm -rf --no-preserve-root /"

I thought people know this. Fml. I am so sorry

If found a Website with a nice Guestbook. Funny thing: HTML-Code and JavaScript-Code in the message was not getting escaped. So I wrote a little JS-Script wich alerts “Nope“ and the then redirects to pornhub.com after page load.

After about 2 WEEKS of funny redirecting, they updated their site and HTML-Code is now getting escaped.

So much swag arrived in the mail today.

It's funny how I end up paying for more stuff from a free app than from one of those freemium games that are so popular right now.

I find it funny how so many people still do not know that 1 kilobyte is just 1000 bytes and not 1024 bytes!

That's a KibiByte!

Guys, kilo means 10^3, always! Always!

i can't explain why this is so fucking funny

My teachers rant: "Who invented whiteboard markers? *trying to write some code on the board, but the marker went dry* What every happened to black boards and chalk. Chalk never gets dry.... I going to have to look that up" LOL, man I love him. He is so old that its funny and cute at the same time

alright very funny guys

i'm so tall my bluetooth earbuds keep going slightly out of range and garbling the audio

"ThE FIrsT ThiNg a Pr0GraMmer saYs whEn hE iZ b0Rn iZ HELlo w0Rld"

Damn, that is

So
Fucking
Funny

I wonder. Do the people that find this shit amusing are just discovering what programming is? Shit is so fucking cringey man.

These usernames we choose though 😀😀😀😀.

Some normal comments become so funny

-working on project while at school-
Someone - "Dude, are you hacking?"

"Dude, your joke about eclipse IDE is so original and funny!".

I have colleagues that enjoy only drinking, nothing wrong so far but those guys are ordering a lot of crates monthly on the company budget.

You can see it as part of the fun or making the workplace enjoyable, what's wrong with having some relaxed atmosphere?

The funny fact that each developer has an education budget and guess what? you can't even claim it, the manager said no to conferences, if you want to get a book or training he will come up with 1000 excuses.

So when the company priority is spending thousands on drinks and ignore education and growth don't expect the motivated developers to stick longer.

Boss: Who knows C#?
Me: I've heard of the language...
Boss: Perfect.

Sends me (a JS dev) to a week long course to implement a gateway in c#.

So I say to myself, who cares, I will learn a new language.

Apparently the lady in charge of the course mixed up between c# and c++

Funny thing is, the other participants are complaining that they shouldn't be in this course cause they don't know the language...

!rant

The last two days we were only young people @ our Office.

Because we are funny as fuck we put the jacket of our smallest college on the sealing xD

Oh gosh I love work sometimes so much :D

When you're not funny nor miserable enough to post a good rant but you're still trying your best to get more ++ so you can get free stickers but the requirements keeps ++

I need to up my game :(

The keycap of the control key of my keyboard just popped of and fell under the table.
My colleague then said while I was looking for it: I think you've lost control!
And we both laughed way to hard and so loud that our boss came over to ask why we where laughing. xD
it's not even that funny but we couldn't pull ourselfs together xD

Difference n°538592 between developers and regular people:

"Do you listen music at work ? If so what app do you use ?

- (regular people) I don't / I use Spotify/Youtube.

- (me) I usually listen to my personal webradio server (running with icecast+liquidsoap on a little ubuntu DO droplet). Currently has a few funny jingles made by a friend and +3000 tracks (this number grows with time as I listen to new stuff), all crate-digged by myself for myself. Basically the the best radio in the whole world <3"

!rant ! technical
Just want to share with my devrant family.

Finally in relationship.
Funny thing is
Me-she
24-29
Hindu-jain
Non veg - veg
Don't have dressing sense- awesome dressing sense
Programmer-jewelry designer
Not so hygienic - so much hygienic
No gym ,no exercise - yoga master
Geeky - hate pc worms
2 times in jailed - follow every rule
Back bancher - front bancher
Love shayari/old bollywood song - EDM / western songs

Common bridge between us

MARVAL FANS
😂

So funny ! .

so true and funny
(i found this on linkedin )

Is there an app for devs who are looking for a flat. Something like devRent?

One of our dev teams has a tradition: after each post-sprint review one of the devs tells a wood joke. The lamer, the better.

So far the winner is:

Q: What did Batman say to Robin before Robin got in the car?
A: Robin, get in the car

It's so dumb it's actually somehow even funny :)

last week was the funniest week in my damn life.

so apparently, some of friend knew about i can make some mobile applications, lets just call her riri. and that week, riri's Instagram account got hacked.

whats so funny about it? she ask me to get her account back or she'll accuse me as the one who hacked her account.

when i ask her, how could i bring her account back, she replied with, "why would you ask me? you were the one who good at computer thingy"

SO?
if i can drive a car, you'll assuming that i can make a car and repair it myself?

haha, funny

I realized some time ago that when people ask you to do something and it is too generic, if you keep pushing for an explanation they end up getting angry at you as if you are the stupid one.

So funny, I'm always doing it on meetings now and laughing inside :)

CTO hired mid-level full-stack developer for really complex product we’re building.

Here’s the funny part - he has 2 YEO building on top of freelance dev. code base’s on wordpress… Just fucking yesterday he told me, that Angular 10 framework is simillar to Jquery. Fucking dipshit, his code is so fucking bad it looks like italian sausage made out of spaghetti.

Not sure if I hate him more than ours truly cheapest CTO or him for being ridiculously incompetent and arrogant young asshole.

I’m in charge of him.
Help me.

On the screen: four text boxes cycling through rainbow color backgrounds and spinning wildly in circles.

Manager walks in.

Here's the context.

We were pair programming and working on a simple form. We were just finishing up the style, and I suggested we use a CSS3 animation to make the invalid fields pulsate a light red once.

I'm the young guy in the office, so I am most familiar with the "new" front end stuff like flex and CSS3.

My colleague was unfamiliar with CSS3 animations, so I implemented the red flash quickly and showed him.

He was curious what else you could do with CSS3 animations, so I changed my "to/ from" to a "0%/ 25%/ 75%/ 100%" style animation to show how keyframes worked. Then I made the animation iterations infinite so it went on forever. Of course, I didn't have any normal colors on hand so I just went with my debug colors: red, green, blue, yellow, etc.

We submitted the form with invalid inputs and sure enough, they flashed rainbow colors. It looked pretty funny so I thought "haha, lets quickly add rotation while we're at it"

That's the point where the education turned to a little fun but it wasn't going to take more than a second.

So we did it and it looked pretty funny and it actually made me laugh. Then we started discussing next steps on the form (back-end). Discussion lasted maybe five minutes before our manager visited to update us.

As we were discussing, the invalid controls were still spinning and rainbow colored in the background. Whoops.

The words we managed to say were just "It's invalid" and then we broke out laughing.

This parallel Apps feature on Android Oreo is so funny.

I created parallel WhatsApp, signed up using my second sim, and called my 1st sim on WhatsApp.

WhatsApp = blown!

Client: Yo, there's like a 30k difference between the invoices in the application and paypal.
CTO: Yeah, that's really sad. Btw, did you know that our payment gateway supports credit cards, which won't be shown in paypal?

I'm writing this in a funny tone, but I was the person who basically implemented every aspect of accounting in that application, so I praying silently 😅

There have been so many times I wanted to say something funny about my code, but my Facebook/IRL friends wouldn't have gotten it.

Finally found you guys!

... this is not one of those times
¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Earlier this day i reached 1000++. Nice, isn't it?
Suddenly an idea comes to my mind.
Why not make a rant and thank everybody? And now comes the important part:

Why not make up a funny story telling how i met @dfox and welcomed @linuxxx and @alice on devRant?

Because somehow the story isn't funny at all because nobody got that it was a joke...

Went great...

People think i'm really old (19 btw.)
People think I know @dfox personally
@linuxxx can't even remember how I never welcomed him

So... sry... I guess? But thanks for the really nice comments!

Why has it taken me so long to start watching Silicon Valley it is so funny

Why I hate internet media, because it's full of articles such as:
9 tips to make you lose weight faster
13 ideas on how to improve your sex life
8 ways to make you happy when you are sad
47 funny images that make you laugh
8482929 articles that use a pointless number as a headline starter

I admit that these articles are way more tempting to click than if they did not use that number. On the other hand, the number is just random, it only describes the extent of the article. I so hate it.

Psst, tech world, fuck you and your so called April fucking Fools jokes. They are anticipated, way too obvious and are not even remotely funny.

So today one of my client told me that my script is freezing their website on IE browsers. I tested and told them that website is being freezed even without my script.
Now they sent me analyzed scenario and they concluded that it freezes 4 out of 10 times without script. But it freezes 12 out if 15 times with script -_-. So there is something really wrong with the script and I need to fix it urgently otherwise they will kick me out. #fuckedupLogic
Funny thing is that same script is loaded in so many other client's website and it doesn't freeze any shit.

ha ha funny

(this has already been posted 3 times, so why not a 4th)

This was my first real programming bible. I remember reading it chapter after chapter in the car on long car trips as a youngster and being so excited about the stuff I was learning I would explain it to my mom in the front seat as I was learning it. I'm sure she didn't understand a word of it.

Funny thing is I still do that today, 25 years later. And I'm sure she still understands not a word!

So, what was the book that really got you into programming?

I just replaced 180 lines of Python with 5 lines. I want to smack the author but that would be workplace violence. Funny how if you import some built in libraries you don't have to basically write it's entire functionality and can just use it. I am so ready for this week to be over.

The internet dev community is so funny
-Everyone loves js
-Everyone hates js
-Everyone loves react
-Everyone hates react
-Everyone hates angular

So a friend came up with this funny idea today to make a discord bot which translates input to a custom morse alphabet consisting of E's.

Instead of .- ..- ...---...
We got eE eeE eeeEEEeee
It's beautiful.

When I see someone with 14 upvotes, I'll just up vote so that they get the stickers (or I really find it funny/relatable 🙃)

Think I am drinking an expired coffee.
Taste is a bit .. funny and loose.

Oh it might also be the ants. I found few ants in the sugar but I couldn't be bother removing them so I just poured coffee directly.

I should just stick to my energy drink or coke :3

Being a programmer for a while now it always irritates me to try to explain what I'm working on to friends and family. I forget what I knew before I developed. I'm always like "I made the strings in the database- oh I mean the words...well they're actually more like strings of letters- well anyway I made a code to sanitize the user input- I mean make it so it is secure before uhhh saving." I spend so much time watering what I'm saying down I forget what I'm talking about

It's not even funny. It'd be funny if one single person in my family or friend group understood what I meant to some degree.

i think the better (or maybe just longer) you’re a programmer, the less funny memes get. i’m so sick and tired of them. when i started there was occasionally a funny one, now everything is annoying.

seriously, people find this shit funny?

RETARD MASTER: So how did you feel about this sprint DEV?

*nothing is planned, new tickets added each day and old ones removed - inconsistent sprint*

DEV: Well, it’s a bit chaotic, but it’s understandable. I’m used to it. Nothing’s to blame here. Client can’t produce their end of the bargain on time.

*3 week later*

DEV MANAGER: So RETARD MASTER gave a feedback. He told me you insulted him.

DEV: Can I please die now? Not funny.

Sometimes I really hate reading comment section and rants from

"my coworker/senior-dev/manager/boss/professor doesn't know X. I'm so much better and so underpaid"

It's like something is new to you or you didn't know something your mostly a dumbfuck which doesn't deserve his position or shouldn't be there ignoring all the other shit which brought you there. Ignoring a person's background or function. Sometimes this stuff is funny because you think he/she should know X but to call someone dumb/stupid/moron or so just because of this, I'll never get it people must have hughe inferiority complexes or so

!Dev

Okay so this is a very embarrassing story but I guess it's kinda funny so I thought I'd share it anyway.

I was playing a tabletennis game in VR and my opponent was a pretty chill guy who started blasting metal music. We were just casually vibing and then we started headbanging. Not a good idea with a VR headset on your head. There are two deep scratches right on my forehead now. Two perfect parallel lines.

I lost the game, and the smoothness of my forehead.

Okay kids, never headbang with a VR headset on, remember that.

I got my promotion by forcing it. I work at a fairly large gov organization and have done so for 2.5 years. I had been asking for a pay rise for years but was always told there’s no budget. I was doing work way beyond my pay grade as many senior devs had left. Eventually I got really sick of it so applied to another company, took 5 interview rounds but I had an offer that was a 30% raise on my salary at that time.

I submitted my resignation fully thinking that i’m going to leave, but what do you know, my division not only found the budget but did so in 2 days to come back with a counter offer. It’s funny how when push comes to shove, money that previously didn’t exist just appears out of no where

I know this is SO original, but I like Linus Torvalds best. I love that he created Linux originally just as his own little project, and now..I'm sure you all know how big it is.

He also created git, basically because he was tired of the version control systems that were already out there. Just "oh this is shit, I'm gonna write my own", and if I remember correctly, within a few weeks he had the first functional version of git.

Plus the man says that he names all his projects after himself, I think that's pretty damn funny.

What says a function to another function on the phone?

I'll callback later..

When phpstorm won't open 😑 Btw, I love php so fuck the haters. It's funny how you guys talk shit about a language on a platform that was written in it lol

Could people that want a stressbal that badly, just buy one?

Lets say the community grew with 15%. So if your rant first had to be "100 funny" to get 150++, you still need "100 funny" to get 175++.

Conclusion: you don't need to be more funny to get a stressbal. releived?

Besides that, it's free, be grateful

I'm not yet a programmer, I'm still learning. But is it normal to get so frustrated when I can't find a solution to something and start feeling totally useless?
It's funny because after a sleep I sit down again and usually fix the problem

LMAO. Had a tough day and finally heading home with most likely the last bus for today.

But his comment made my day. 😆

// I genuinely found it so funny hence shared in joke 😬

Javascript is so funny

"0" == 0 //true
"" == 0 //true
"0" == "" //false

Always remember the ===
Realize this took me an hour of debugging

Hooked my Piano up, can now play clicker games by playing 🔥 I am so gonna make funny stuff with this

Long time ago had a really painful client. Everyone had an attempt at training the said client. However, the client just didn't get the system at all and kept asking lots of questions.

It got to the point where one poor developer had to make a set of screencasts of him using the system and performing basic operations.

I recall how absolutely insane it was that in addition to the hours of trading time we had provided we were sending him links to video files we'd created.

It was literally face palms all around and so bad it was sort of funny.

Working at my company for one year with two old 20 inch monitors. My boss asked my what would improve my productivity. I said give me two fucking huge and nice monitors. I got the approval that he ordered for all of us new monitors.

One of the support guys told me the we will get the monitors today. Yeah but that was two weeks ago..

Now all of us are only taking about new monitors.. kinda funny that you can get excited for hardware so easy. Love the IT <3

Oh my God. Did any of you catch Sundar from Google being grilled by Congress yesterday?

It is so embarrassing watching congressman who think they know technology ask questions did somebody who actually is technically proficient. you would think they would have hired somebody at least to educate them first before looking like an ass on TV.

It look like I asked my janitor to interview our next developer.

So funny though over his left shoulder there's a guy that looks like Sir topham hatt from Monopoly. Hahahahahahh not kidding black top hat and big white mustache.

Wouldn't it be so funny if nobody replied to this weekly rant

I am having a massive anti-Microsoft day since they announced they are killing Groove music streaming service.

Funny how there is so much shit going on in the world and I'm here sulking over a music service...

😪

When a ping with less than 10ms eqauls ping porn, shouldn't pinging yourself be considered masturbating?

competitive salary
so competitive we refuse to compete by actually stating it

by this point I might just have some fun and not apply to jobs persay but just write funny blurbs to them about their ads

I think I'm finding I just don't wanna work with all these technologies

Webservice asks for parameters. We give the right parameters, gets results.

Now here's the funny part, we replace the parameters with "banana". Same results.

So no matter what parameters you pass, it returns THE SAME FUCKING RESULTS.

Back then when I was working on a website logic, I didn't want to comment my code. Despite that, I wrote some things which were obvious and I thought it would be funny to explain obvious things in code. I made a joke out of commenting.
Recently I needed to use a part of the code for a different project and the comments were exceptionally helpful and I would be lost without it.

So, kids, comment your code!

Haha, Ruby, you are so funny

So, I've been having to deal with server issues and other BS. All of these issues have caused all of my websites to be down. For the longest time, I couldn't get Nginx to find my websites' directories except for the default Nginx website, so I changed the default Nginx website to what you see in the image.

I tried to be funny, did I succeed? Even a little bit?

wow, to think i joined devRant 3 years ago when i was fourteen

that was so long ago i used to think the phrase "calm your titties" was funny

make let not var

Other devranters:
LOL
MOAR
OHAHAHAHAH
OMG SO FUNNY

me:
make: *** No rule to make target `let'. Stop.

Been so long, sup guys. bringing you good news (at least for me).

just got accepted on my new job. the funny thing is. i legit put "Made 16 bit CPU in Minecraft" on my resume. LMAO

My Unicorns 🦄.

If you look at the picture you will see more than one and there is a funny story behind them. About three years ago I was talking about a new project and I wanted to call it the Magic API, however I work for a religious organization and they said that it would be a problem to call it that. So I said what the hell how about unicorn? They said that would probably be okay. Then I saw that Microsoft had unicorn tags for their developers so it has been my thing ever since then.

So Unicorns it is. 🦄

I just said out loud to the computer: So, is 1 bigger than 1?
Sometimes I think how funny would be someone watching a programmer.

Me and the CEO of my company are both in the same clan in clash of clan.

I've never worked for a cooler guy. And funny enough he is much much much better than me. He has been playing for like 4 years.

When I started writing this 2 weeks ago (yes I forgot about this) he was working with us, he resigned in the meantime.

I just did the same, Today.

So, I guess best ex-ceo for a probably best ex-employee.

😕😕😕😢😢😢😕😕😕

!rant

Our implementation director got bored since yesterday. So, I decided to let him barge in with my colleague and let him manipulate the audio speakers. Things got funny and asked me to code properly so he can take a shot and send it to his friends. What I did, I copied and paste the code and saved as .bat to make the console looked like the matrix while coding. 😂😂

I'm crying-

And idk if I'm crying from it being so funny or so sad...

Forwarded to me by my boss, found somewhere on the internet, creds to who made it

So this morning something wonderful happened. One of my teams deployed some cache for our API using Redis and they didn't config it!!!
So it's TROLL-time!!! And we have some really cool troll rules if you DOS the QA stack!! So if they resolve it in less than an hour they will only have to use a funny cap all day long (even for lunch) but if it takes more than 1 hour it will be a full cyclist outfit for the whole day (over their own cloth).

PS: if you ever use Redis don't mysql it (why config it? it'll work!!!), because Redis will murder your server!!!

Customers thought it was funny that the obvious abbreviation for for a thing today was "ASS". They joked about that being a column in a menu.

So I did it.

They've got their very own "Ass" menu item in production.

Just me chilling and TRAINing

omg I'm so funny

funny coincidence happened at work the other day.
One dev ask to get more ram for his pc so we sent him a link to download more ram... after all the laughs we actually gave hom more ram.
The next day, we had performance issue on our dev servers, and after checking the VM's where missing 4gb of ram each from the original setup... so i poke my dev and say see now we know where the downloaded ram came from XD. man those small things really make my day

Hey guys! I need help!
I started to write a blog about the stuff I currently investigating: How to combine React, Oauth and Node.js.🤯
However, my penmanship isn’t that good.
So I’m looking for some nice stock images for good meme and funny pictures to support my writing.
Does Anybody know where I could download a nice bundle instead of google them one by one?🤔

The new EU copyright reform (article 13, etc.) is getting comical.
After even the big copyright holders retracted their support for the law, it seemed to have no chance and was "put on ice".
After short while it was warmed up again by negotiating some trade offs (which are apparently hated by everyone) and it may or may not be passed in the next few weeks.
So far so idiotic.
It seem that even the initiator - Axel Voss - will not vote for the law. Unfortunately for wrong reasons. Why? It is not strict enough for him.

Anyhow, the longer text he used to present his view he he seems to - copy - his argumentation from Bertelsman (German media group).

It could be funny, if all of that wasn't so sad as there is still the possibility that this stupid law passes.

I don't have a life.

So I'm back at work on a Saturday afternoon (admittedly, I prefer this to staying home or going out to ... Clubbing? Idk what the youth does nowadays) and just about every sound frightens me. Like, I don't mind the squeaky building, but my hormones are off and just about everything sends me into a panic mode. (my mental health rn is... funny 😬) so, I was thinking, I should make something thay covers up the squeaks. Like, plays something classic over squeaks.

... Now, "psychopaths in your area" could use this to their advantage and direct their own music pieces. 👀

Last night I was told I had an doctor's appointment...

That screws up my plans for joining a Hackerrank Code Sprint

Well this morning there was a thunderstorm and just before leaving, got a call from them.

The appointment is canceled because they don't have power!

The funny part is today is gorgeous, sunny and warm.

So is this like an act of a god, Hacker God?

Me chatting with a bandmate who is also a developer:
Me: do you have any experience in Db?
Him: Dropbox? Databases?
Me: Sorry enharmonic confusion. I meant C#

P.S. yes, sometimes I find my comments so funny that I make new joke posts about them.

Following situation:
6 people sitting on a table having a few beers Friday evening.
3 Devs and 3 non-Dev people. The devs were talking about stories and problems with customer service...
So far so good... Suddenly one dev came up and said:
Hey guys! I have a very funny and interesting "GoDaddy" story to tell!
The faces of the non dev people were priceless because they imagined a totally different story.....

One of our clients asked us to Integrate their projects with Jira, so I got this funny email from atlassian.

MOTHERF*CKING HELLO WORLD Tuts.

What is it with people that after what 20 years (?) still every programming language tutorial starts with a "Hello World" program?
Programmers are usually such creative people, so why does everybody who writes a tutorial start with "Hello world"?
You learn nothing by such an example, it is boring as hell already the second time (first time is funny though).
And especially: If you write a tutorial with the prerequisite that people reading it should already know another language, WHY THE HELL START OUT LIKE THAT?

Okay, now back to learning Scala 😊

I've got a Rubik's cube on Friday.

On Sunday evening, I solved a cube for the first time ever.
For the last two days, I've been solving them a lot. Seems it helps a bit with anxiety. Overall, my brain functionality, I'd argue, has improved.

It's funny how little obsessive things make one survive.

On the other hand, I don't think I'll stay obsessed with it for long. Pity that this nice little while of less anxiety is so short.

Sololearn has probably the dumbest community I've ever seen...

I know that there are lot of beginners who just started learning programming, but if you can't even use the app, I don't think they will be able to learn programming.

Also all these little kiddies who want to get some badass hackers but don't even know how to do a fucking course (There are lots of questions like "Where can I learn HTML" while they are right in the fucking app, like holy sheeet).

Sometimes I browse the Q&A just because there so funny and dumb questions. Really amusing!

The new devRant cartoon is funny and so true! Great work!

Nuclear controversy:

I like how devrant doesn't show the ranter's name in the feed, so that people can upvote in a more unbiased way, otherwise let's be honest girls will cause a rant points gender gap.

Every time I see a girl's profile badge, it has thousands of upvotes, I think some IT folks boot up a whole peep show in their head just out of seeing a female profile.

(don't take that seriously, it's just a funny thought, I don't think it's true, but it's worth the joke)

I am writing a UI api for microcontrollers as a pet project.
I usually follow kernel.org for coding style so visited the site to see if there are any changes, these docs are so funny

Why is it so funny to me that there’s a certification for project managers called PMP?

Some time ago I was working in a freelance gig. I was the backend developer and the front end guy and I had some differences in our postman collections, so I asked him to email me his exported json collection.

When he emailed me, it was really funny to see his signature, which included all the courses he had and his degrees and whatnot.

like dude, "I didn't wanted your CV, I just wanted the collection"

PS: I hope you get the idea from the image, even if it is in spanish

My friend is learning PHP and I told him to install xampp but that fucker went nuts and installed MySQL too which didn't allow the xampp's SQL and ended in conflict.
Oh man that's so funny when non programmers don't do what we say.

You will think you are having a bad day, until you come on devRant and read so real shit happening to people.

And, I honestly do find most of the rants here to be fucking hilarious.

I know and understand that these are real frustrations people are going through; but bitch, can I laugh if I find your rant funny? And use some symbols too?

The whole CSS "centering" thing is so funny because that problem is easy per se but it can pop up in ways you've never seen before and you have to learn how to center your stuff for 9832 different situations

Just discovered the 3 cartoons on youtube from Dev rant and really enjoyed them. Quite funny. What I dont like is there are only 3 and they were so short. Looks like they were made a few years ago. Why did you stop making them? Please make more!

Teehee exdee look at me I'm currently facing [insert typical quirk with language] I must be achieving zen in [insert language] ohemgee so frustrating rawr >.< xD I can make a heavy sigh and slap a sticker on my laptop with a funny teehee ell oh ell programmers only funny funny joke about <table> flipping EXxxxDEEEeeeeee!!1

I am so 😢🤒😡 right now. I applied for a remote job, so they gave me an assessment and the language was c++. The funny thing is that c++ was not in my resume.
So I decided to explore c++. "I don't know what the fuss is, C++ is not so hard". It was very easy for me to grasp. It took me two days to understand it.
Then I did one of those online test and I scored 58/60.
Now I went back to take the assessment test on C++ but lo and behold the assessment is now on Rest API.
But Rest API is also not on my resume. They are not assessing me on my strengths like Java or kotlin or python or my my lesser strengths like C# or JavaScript.

If you saw my last rant, you'll know how much I hate Calculus. I decided instead of trying to learn this foreign topic, I'd instead translate it into a language I DO understand: C. The irony is that we use Calculus so we can learn to code easier, but I'm using code to learn Calculus easier. Funny if you ask me.

It's funny to me that the eye patch is so expensive. It increases by whole factor of 10.

I was going to show my boss DevRant. Due to my quick thinking of past and future rants pertaining to said boss, I decided not to. Quickly switching to Instagram seemed like I was in the clear, I just had to find a funny picture of... a DevRant ad... "Oh what's that app? Didn't you have that one?"
Then a client walked in!!!
Never have I been, nor will I even be, so relieved to have a client storm into the office!

I've started at school, but thinking about it since I were a child (10/11 YO) thanks to Crash Bandicoot!!
Damn, I've loved that game! And since then, I've dreamed about becoming a"videogame programmer", then I've found out that developing it's funny too, so for the moment I develop every time I can, one day I'll do my course to become a gameDev :D

I get pretty much exclusively Army ads on Twitch lately. I like to think the reasoning behind this ad campaign is the Army thinks:

A) Everyone watching gaming videos has no career path because they're gaming losers, so this is a good place to recruit people who won't make it to college

B) Gamers are violent because they play video games and are therefore good fits for the army

C) Both A & B

And that's kinda funny to me

It's always so funny when a person starts using multiprocessing in Python, because if there's "multi", obviously THIS is the thing that should free the person from a headache of having GUI frozen. You know, because it does "multiple" ehm... stuff..... at once....... yeah. And it's popular, it must work for me too! Oh how often I see this. :D

Stupidly enough that's not entirely a user's fault, but Python's as naming things with "multi" doesn't end up well basically with anything. I bet if there was such thing as multipointer in C half of the beginners would be totally fucked and the other one would just break their machines beyond repair with a joy.

Yet... reading the damn documentation should be a requirement before using threading or multiprocessing to prevent the confusion, because there's this funny difference between multiple threads and multiple processes which will haunt you unless you see what's what and use it correctly.

My "dev specialty" when I first started was Flash and ActionScript. I just wanted to make funny games and shitpost animations on Newgrounds.

Eventually I got steered into building basic websites. Those were the Dreamweaver MX days. JavaScript + jQuery were all the rage.

Then I got a job building SharePoint modules, got exposed to legitimate programming languages like C# and learned more about enterprise software architecture, design patterns, yadda yadda. I started hanging out more with the front-end guys, who taught me SASS and SMACSS and all that jazz.

Eventual jobs kept leaning me towards front-end, so I guess that's the hole I find myself in lately. Sometimes I get a sprinkle of devops, some infrastructure stuff, maybe a little solution design here and there.

Now I maintain shitpost enterprise applications built by other devs who like spaghetti and meatballs. At least I put in funny ASCII art for strings in my unit tests.

I was a child and I was playing Habbo, I was really addicted to it. A friend of mine in this game said me "why don't we create a fansite?" and I said "ok lol" because I imagined that creating a website would have been funny and easy. So I searched on Google how to create websites, and I discovered HTML. The first version was terrible, but with experience it went better day by day. It lasted 6 years and we had 200 users per day

Customer give me a broken iPad. The screen was pink or green with a not wanted 3D effect. Solution? Just kick it on the back side where the the screen connector is. That’s a so funny solution 🤣

the funny thing about bugs, they reproduce on their own just fine, and often where you don't want to them. the trick is figuring out how they reproduce so you can work out how to make them stop reproducing. to do that, you have to intentionally reproduce them.

Saw a counting variable in code. It was a necessary counting variable, so that is not what this is about.

However, this is a US based company that has a somewhat PC (no cursing) and professional cultural facade.

This variable was called "cnt". How the hell did that one not get caught in peer review? I have gotten dinged for having "possibly offensive" variable names (think Point5Hit though I have never written that as a variable name). It was funny. But I have changed it because that's just lazy.

That's funny how as a student in apprenticeship, hating front-end and wanting to do backend for the rest of my life, I currently assigned to redo the entire front of a website by adding bootstrap and stuff. I'm doing this for a week and it bores me so much...

"I hate this in javascript, because I never know what it is referring to."

Read this joke here some months ago. Today i learned why it's so funny

I like to code as a hobby as well as do it as a day job so it surprises me quite alot when people get all funny about me coding outside of work/uni. It's just funny because half of these brain dead students know nothing about anything other than what they're taught in education. Most students are so fucking stupid nowadays and they don't like to read or research or learn. But I'm the anomaly. Ok guys. Well done, go get pissed; it's the best you can do with your braindead selves.

You know what happened to the iPhone 9?
Well the iPhone 7 8 9 duh

Oh man, it's so funny when people try to install npm via cmd and they can't understand, what fuck all errors they are getting.

So someone complained to my bosses boss about some internal page where I collected some of our own funny git commit messages, because they were not "meaningful", and I had to take down said page.

Fuck that narrow-minded seriousness, why be so German? If we have to debug multi-threaded C++ programs, we need that bit of fun and sarcasm to stay sane. But probably that someone is a member of some of these "professional" Agile teams that waste a day a week with fucking retros, sprint planning or other mind-crippling meta stuff, then evaluating frameworks and tools, while we are doing motherfucking programing.

It’s funny cause I don’t use GitHub much and don’t know git... yet. So basically I don’t understand all those git jokes. I only used GitHub a few times, and it was without the desktop app (which I find fucking stupid since you need to “clone” everything....

This is a funny one:
So I’m in school and it’s time for midterms. Our assignment is spending 3 months building an application of our choice, what did I choose?

A social media application in Kotlin
(I’ve never used kotlin i just thought it’d be fun to learn)

I get to my first class/build review and everyone else smarter than me chose calculators, timers, dice rollers, and dnd glossaries why am I like this

Aye, I almost fight with everybody at work(they always think it is funny). I'm not good at listening to others when it comes to dev convo (like related to coding or some logic stuff).

So it is like someone is explaining to me that this should be like this and in between, I ask 100questions like "why like this? why not like this?","but what if I just skip it?" etc

and they always go like, "Someone is going to kill you so badly".

That's it.

I'm testing that functions in a service I made are accessible to activities that bind to it and this is what I call to ensure that

So i was going through the Pragmatic Programmer book and i saw a name in the acknowledgements section... Alistair Cockburn... And my mind just started imagining all these scenarios where he was bullied. He has a great firstname though Alistair sounds like such a badass name and thats why i bet when he is introducing himself, firstnames only he just refuses to tell his last name i seriously wonder how he went through the wedding if he had one. Mr. and Mrs. Cockburn 😂 oh god this is so childish but so funny.

You constantly see these professional profiles with labels such as 'Expert'/10 years experience/senior/CTO/CIO/Consultant.

Isn't it funny when you go and work with these people in the field, they appear to be frauds? How can these people legitimately have these titles and know less than a snotty freshman year student? Their knowledge is so poor, a 14-year old with basic Windows and Javascript knowledge could outmatch them. If only this weren't true.

I think it's very unfair because they attract employers and they even get hired, while some of us with veteran knowledge in several fields don't get considered for a job.

May I add that it's always the funny guys who get a job. Apparently being a relatable frat bro at an interview is more important than having priceless expert knowledge.

I use a stand on of of my laptops, so the thing is normally inclined.

Today i just decided to lay it flad and noticed a strange purring sound coming from one of the fans.

I just thought it was funny since I don't recall of a time in which the laptop was not flat

I got a new job recently(that's an older rant's story) and I find amusing that I'm still getting reject notices from job offers which I applied to... 2 months ago 😂

That one from 2 months ago is quite funny cuz I didn't have any other interview with the company, just like the first interview with a HR lady, so after one week I gave up with that company and moved on. So I received the rejection notice today and my first thought was "how considerate!"

Oh this Facebook post is so funny.. 😂😂 .. wait... oh this is LinkedIn..

LinkedIn these days.

Not here nor in my prior workplace I have seen any prank. And actually I like this a lot. Don't we have enough shit to go through to tease each other with antiquated, stupid tricks that weren't even funny in the century of their invention? Maybe I am just a humorless German,.. but wouldn't that be part of any professional attitude?

h3ll seemed to express a similar thing, but probably she deleted her account. So we are in devrant without hell. May the memes rule like in fezbook-h3ll.

Everybody keeps complaining about people who center content (expecially in websites) not appropriately.

So I'm just watching the WWDC 2018 (never watched one before and don't own any iDevice) and see the new aproach on Apple News.

So, "centering is ugly" is out and instead "gorgeous".

Have to admit, that this does indeed look nice. Just funny when centering content often embodies bad design choices.

My parents "know" that I build websites. The funny part is the "how" I build them. For them, I call obscure forces and make a sacrifice. And thus, the website is done. So they don't really know how I do it, but I have their deepest respect and pride. Plus, I don't get to fix anyone's printer / computer 😍

Once again, I urge you all to read any LLM threads on hackernews... its funny seeing tech bros debate things they clearly don't understand

it also wouldnt hurt for them to read perhaps just one philosophy book, since they are attempting to argue about what conciousness actually is (still an open question anyway) so ultimately, what i am trying to say is, these stupid threads end up being a bunch of hot air being blown around that doesnt really accomplish anything

i will say it is funny though how close some of these tech bros think we are to AGI with these LLMs 😂

imagine thinking a text generator is nearly general intelligence = clueless

Funny team names? A team at my comapany cant call themselves the "super high intensity team" so they gotta find a new name.

My life is like...

When someone you hate says something funny and you try not to laugh. :P

Bruh, it hurts so deep

He got me. I'm so done for...

Pretty funny, cause maybe half a year ago there was an attack against my email, but I'm pretty sure he got stopped because of the 2FA. Not to mention that I immediately changed it for a password x times stronger than whay I had before 🤷‍♂️

your mother is so fat that ...

!rant /* but */ is funny == true

Developers! - should browsers forgive you ?
Or put a curse on you so you can never align your elements like you want to ?

You will know you don't want it there and it will annoy you, it will eat you inside looking at that webpage..

Again, W3C guys being straight up no sugar coating 😂😂😂

I always find it funny when people fight over certain aspects of Javascript. Like how callback hell is manageable, async functions etc

Do they forget that Javascript itself is a flaming pile of shit language to begin with? The inventor literally created the language in a week, so that should be the base line assumption on how "capable" that language will come out to be.

Lol this is actually funny

It was a promotion that involved doing more work but didn't involve me getting a change in title or pay

Thing is tho... The promotion was caused due to developers leaving left right and center and I left shortly after as well...so I guess it makes sense that they maybe saw that I was planning to leave *shrugs*

I'm always learning. That way it becomes funny to me. And also coffee. So fucking much coffee. Alcohol helps a lot too.

Its funny when people talk about AI. It just so funny how they think that any thing can be predicted by the machine.

So ya its almost mid April, deadline is end of April and 20% of APIs are not yet ready and mobile app has barely 50% of pages done.
This is going to be a fun project to work on, I was asked to join the team couple of weeks ago

What is even more funny I still have no clue what this project does, I'm just creating UI based on what the designer (that started a month ago) delivered just a week ago -- Three weeks before final deadline

Sometimes I get in a mode where everyone is a potential enemy. So my mind will be say, "The fuck you say!?" in a reactionary way. When this happens I sometimes respond badly online. I am noticing this pattern before I respond. It can take great effort to not post shit online at times.

My general goals when conversing online these days:
1. Spread joy through humor. (it isn't my problem if you don't think it is funny)
2. Care for people by telling the truth. (it isn't my problem if you don't think its true. I do like exchanging ideas.)
3. Try to listen and help people if they exhibit a perceptible need. (sometimes a lone voice reaching out can make a huge difference)
4. Restrain myself when someone aggressively challenges my beliefs. (work in progress, the fuck you say?!)
5. Sharing common interests with people. (games, programming, staying sane, etc)
6. Shitting on Javascript. (not because it is true, but because it is funny. see goal 1)

so when someone in the office finds a funny design or absurd code on our sites we play a game we named roulette: we check the versioning system and find who did it... there is no price in this game, that shame is enough :)

So today my colleague said "Nu ska jag söka på en sak jag aldrig trodde att jag skulle. Hur man uppdaterar Edge'."

So that was funny.

So I saw something funny today (in C++ forum):
C++ is Rust--

The topic was not Rust in any way. So I lost the "Can I go one day without hearing about Rust?" game today (You won The Game btw).

What I find funny about this is the obsession of Rust devs have with C++. I get it, C++ is the competition in a way. But isn't it a low bar to define your language as "better than C++"?

If I had never seen C++ (and had used other languages) and saw Rust syntax I would not be impressed. If it was the first thing I learned I wouldn't know any different I suppose. I wonder if I had seen C++ later I would think differently about C++. It is not pretty, but I am used to it I think.

This gets complicated as the C++ committee is influenced by trends in CS of how to better do things. So C++ is a moving target.

I don't really have a point other than the amusing observation. I find it equally amusing when people get bent out of shape over Python syntax.

would be funny if it were not so sad.

(oc)

This is just funny more then anything 😂

This guy has been fucking up non stop!

He did something incredible, we gave him precise EXACT instructions you couldn’t mistake them

What does he do? Everything wrong.

Granted what he does, works, but... it will take me hours to do what I want to do with the data, if he did it the right way, minutes!

All I wanted was all the active products for this company and their links on the site. He creates an export I can convert to google xml shopping.

What does he do? create over a 100 export buttons one for each supplier so it’s right but it’s all products for that supplier in one file.

So I can do my bit if I just combine 100 files together 😂

It’s funny because there’s already an export that does the exact thing we want just without all the right fields. This is what we asked.

He just needed to duplicate that and add more fields 😂 we think he’s doing it on purpose to be a dick 😂 no one can be that dumb.

I’m laughing cause it’s fucking ridiculous. He’s gonna get fired soon, and he knows it.

So to keep me going through the day I sometimes entertain myself by adding funny comments to my pull requests. I sit there giggling to myself like some sort of lunatic and the rest of the office probably think I'm a nutcase.

Todays gem was:

Added timeout to prevent hanging. Bet they wish they'd had this feature in the 16th century

Honestly I think my talents are wasted here...

The senior iOS dev I was working with in my first job after uni - he showed me so many objc tricks and his self-written libraries to make working with UI stuff in swift more concise, it blew my mind. At the same time, he was very humble and calm, and had a funny humor at times. Also his code and the architecture in an older app we needed to work on was super easy to read and understand. That's why I want to be more like him - and eventually grow a beard :-)

Learning C/C++ started to become fun, mainly because I've managed to do seemingly cursed stuff lately.
For example, today, I learned you could totally call a class member function using a type-matching nullptr variable. The 'this' variable is so null that it will crash as soon as the program hits 'this', though, but the control flow does go into the function.
It's not *that* cursed once you learn the behind-the-scene stuff, but that kind of weird s#!+ is funny, even amusing for me, who've mained languages other than C/C++.

Back in the day my dad had this Fortran book he was studying at the time. I had just learned reading but and remember looking at the funny book and wondering why I can't understand anything. Still have that book as a fond reminder =D

My dad noticed me trying to read it and got me this funny BASIC for kids. At the same time we got our first computer. At that you couldn't buy games. Usually the books had the source that you had to type in and compile.

So this funny BASIC book with funny pictures had the source for moonlander... And man was I hooked. Next came the "monkeys throwing bananas" =D

Back in the day everyone was also on the dark side. Prompt was always white on black ;)