Friend: *deletes something from the internet*
"Thank god, now it's gone forever!"

Me: *Laughs in French*
"Hahahaha!"

Friend: "What?"

Me: "No, I'm pretty sure almost everything you put on the internet stays on the internet."

Friend: "ARE YOU STUPID??! The button says fucking DELETE. What else would it to do? Please use your brain for once."

Me: "You realize that text in the button is just a string right?"

Friend: *Looks confused*
"Stop trying to be such a smartass. Why would it be called 'delete' if it doesn't delete? Your logic make no sense whatsoever."

Me: *Makes quick simple app in order to prove my point*

App has 4 buttons:

-Play Music: Shows a picture of a dog

-Stop Music: Starts playing music video of Never gonna give you up

-Close App: Changes the interface to a random color

-Delete App: Pop up that says "The app has been deleted"

Friend: *Installs and tries the app*
"Dude! Did you even test your app before sending me?? Your buttons are broken as hell. None of them works. They all do things they're not supposed to do. How do you even call yourself a programmer? Sorry dude, nothing personal but this app sucks."

Me: *I need a new friend*
*sigh*

Client: This new feature is not working on Internet Explorer.
Me: Do you have enough oxygen in the cave you are living in?

Internet streaming website be like:

Oh no, you can't right click and save the video file on your computer!

*f12* *ctrl+f* *<video* *right click* *open in new tab* *right click* *save as*

Some guy my girlfriend knows, heard I'm a software developer. He had this 'great' idea on how he wanted to start a new revolutionary way of paying on the internet. He wanted to create a service like paypal but without having the hassle of logging in first and going through a transaction. He wanted a literal "buy now" button on every major webshop on the internet. When I asked him how he thought that would work legally and security wise, he became a bit defensive and implied that since I'm the tech guy I should work out that kind of stuff. When the software was ready, he would have clients lined up for the service and his work would start.

I politely declined this great opportunity

Piece of shit admin installed a chrome plugin which changed the new tab to no internet default image ... The whole office was pranked

Web browsers supported by my new project :
Firefox ✔️
Chrome ✔️
Internet Explorer ❌

Let's quickly talk about idiots.

> A simpleton coworker of mine installed Ubuntu on his brand new ThinkPad with a touch screen.
> Asks me to show him the Linux games site I mentioned earlier.
> I see that he has no browser installed.
No Firefox, Chromium, Epiphany, etc.
> Now I know that he has a room temperature IQ and something moronic is going to happen.
Truth be said, I subliminally desired a terminal based browser.
> Then he fucking opens Wine and I shit you NOT! That thundercunt opens...
> Internet Explorer!
> I punched his screen.
> No longer a touch-screen laptop.

Just received my new internet connection at my home
Glassfibre ftw!! 😁😁😁

Three days ago I wrote a comment:

"It's weird how the internet shifted from protocols to platforms.

Devs still know the plumbing, but for most people IRC became Whatsapp, FTP became Dropbox, RTSP became Netflix, SIP became Zoom and RSS became Google Now... so people might eventually forget about SMTP and this whole "email" hype.

In a decade or two we'll have forgotten about URLs and HTTP and the "internet" as well. You just pay your monthly $10 sub to Google or Amazon or Apple to have your condensed streams of memes & bait funneled right into your eyeballs."

And now Chrome devs are considering removing URLs just like in Safari, just showing the domain you are on....

Enjoy your retard web, people.

What's next, new Macbook & Chromebook standardized designs to prevent people from being confused?

How to hide your important files from people without making Hidden folders 

1. Go to Desktop and create a new folder
2. Name the folder Internet Explorer
3. Change the folder icon to Internet Explorer
4. Keep it in a corner of the desktop

Now, no one will open internet explorer :D

//Le me
*Wants to open IntelliJ Idea*

*Searches 'Int'*

*Hits Enter*

Internet Explorer to the rescue

Internet Explorer: Finally, somebody remembered me!

*Internet Explorer opens*

Internet Explorer: *opens a bajillion new windows*

Internet Explorer:
Make me your default browser plz..

Internet Explorer: *freezes*

Me: Shit

So my actual job is being a nurse at the local hospital, with coding being just a hobby. However, the way some IT–Related things are treated here are just mind-blowing. Here are some examples:

Issue: Printer is not recognized by network anymore due to not being properly plugged in

Solution: Someone has to tell the house technician, if the house technician is currently not available, ask his assistant who only works part time and like twice a week. House technician took the printer (God knows why), came back 2 days later and plugged it back in.

Issue: Printer 1 of 2 on ICU has run out of ink and since all computers default to printer 1, nobody can print.

Solution: Call the house technician, blah blah, house technician comes, takes ink cartridge of printer 2 and puts it into printer 1.

Issue: Public WiFi is broken, can be connected to but internet access is missing. Probably config issue as a result of a recent blackout.

Solution: Buy a new router, spend 5 days configuring it and complain about how hard networking is.

Issue: Computer is broken, needs to be exchanged with a new one, but how do we transfer the data?

Solution: Instead of just keeping the old hard drive, make a 182GB backup, upload it to the main file server and then download it again on the new computer.

Issue: Nurse returns from vacation, forgot the password to her network account.

Solution: Call the technician who then proceeds to open a new account, copies all the files from the old one and tells her to pick an easier password this time. She chooses "121213".

Mother of god, as if the new mass surveillance law in the Netherlands wasn't bad enough, one of the politicians who likes the new law has come up with an even more redicilous idea.

an 'Internet Authority. To put it short, an authority which surveils the internet in real time and sees where all social media shit is coming from/going.

Meaning that it wouldn't just be 'targeted mass surveillance' sometimes but fulltime online monitoring.

This guy has lost his fucking mind.

Looks like Apple is the new Microsoft and Microsoft is the new Apple...

I remember when every release of Windows was a catastrophic mess and you had to wait until at least SP2 to get the OS to work in a stable way. And Internet Exploder was *the* browser that broke everything, every time. And there was the whole embrace/extend thing, where they tried to impose their vision of web standards and compatibility, and *everything* you used *had* to come from Microsoft...

And now, it's Apple who fuck up every single OS release, on mobile and desktop, and whose browsers openly shit on web standards (ever try developing anything for Mobile Safari?). Apple's stuff that only works with Apple stuff (down to things like headphone jacks - OOPS, forgot, they dropped those now).

Microsoft is making interesting, beautiful hardware (Surface machines) while Apple is pushing un-innovative, overpriced garbage year in year out. And they're open-sourcing more and more, while Apple walls itself further and further behind its walled "garden". Bleh.

Be interesting to see in 10 years what will have shifted, because it'll change again by then.

Got to learn Shopware (the eCommerce thingy written in PHP) for the job.

Bought a book worth ~60$.

The author writes: "Use vagrant it's soooooo comfy and cozy and everything!".

Sure, why not.

Got to get online over my smartphone.

Cloned the repo with the Vagrantfile.

Did a 'vagrant up'.

Downloaded the Ubuntu box of around 1.5 GB (reminder: over my smartphone which has around 3 GB 'highspeed' internet connection).

Vagrant initialized and provisioned the box.

Error.

Error?

Error.

VT-X is not enabled. Hm. Strange. Wait...when it's not enabled, can it be that...

Yep.

THIS SHITTY LAPTOP SCHMAPTOP DOES NOT SUPPORT VT-X AND I PULVERIZED JUST THE HALF OF MY INTERNET DATA FOR THIS SHITTY BOX IN ORDER TO JUST DOWNLOAD THE ZIP FILE AND INSTALL IT OLDSCHOOL-SCHMOLDSCHOOL INSTALL A APACHE VIRTUAL HOST.

Time for new hardware I think.

Always makes me laugh that if you don’t have a Mac you clearly aren’t a proper web developer to most people 😂 (I used to use Mac but switched)

Me: *Pulls out my windows laptop to do some web development work*

Friend: How can you use that to develop with, you’re supposed to use a Mac everyone knows that. What do you even code in?

Me: I write everything in word and then transfer it to a Mac to test as obviously the internet only works on Mac.

Friend: oh right .. that makes sense, probably easier just to buy a Mac though isn’t it?

Me: ....

Time to get a new friend 😩

How to hide your important files from people without making Hidden folders 

1. Go to Desktop and create a new folder
2. Name the folder Internet Explorer
3. Change the folder icon to Internet Explorer
4. Keep it in a corner of the desktop

Now, no one will open internet explorer :D

The new IT lady of my previous company told me this:

"Hi, the Internet is not working"

"ok, did you make any recent changes to the router?"

"I didn't touch the router. I removed the switch in between so the internet should still work"

"You removed the switch"

"yeah but I didn't touch the router so what's the problem blah blah blah"

🙄

That's a new one on me fixing a website on my phone whilst on a train , internet dropping in an out

I did it 😎

*opens stackoverflow*
"Oh great! The Internet is down."
*opens new tab and googles the error*

How to hide your important files from people without making Hidden folders?
1. Go to Desktop and create a new folder
2. Name the folder Internet Explorer
3. Change the folder icon to Internet Explorer
4. Keep it in a corner of the desktop
Now, no one will open internet explorer 😂

A new sales guy in a startup I used to work at was using Internet Explorer. I told him why are you using IE, it's a shitty browser and how frontend devs suffer to support it.
Before I continued, he interrupted me saying that he used to be the regional head of sales team in Microsoft and started defending IE.
I was like Oookaaayy.
......he left the company a week or two later

Alright, with all the horrible internet freedom and privacy threatening stuff going around I'm setting up a new tor relay, hopefully 2gb/s.

Already have one running with an average throughput of 2TB/day but another one won't hurt, would it?

Who else runs tor nodes here? :D

A roommate said he didnt have internet on his laptop. Wifi wasnt working for him and the cable doesnt fit because he has a new ethernet port and needs another cable for that.

I told him that there is no new ethernet port or new ethernet port standard, I would have heard about it.

But he insisted that it was true.

So I grabbed the ethernet cable, pulled the clamp on his ethernet port down (as most new laptops now have) and plugged the cable in.

Once upon a time while browsing his Instagram, a young and inexperienced boy found a magic realm called devRant.

He decided to hop on the cyberweb of interconected computers, aka. the Internet and found the gate to the magic realm.

Timidly he took a step forward and found himself surrounded by strange structures called Rants and Stories.
No knowing what to do, he now roams in this new and strange realm looking for some guidence and perhaps even friendship.

We've started a new betting system in our office. Every time you lose a bet, you have to optimize atleast one project for Internet Explorer 😂

Bought an old dell server from a friend since I'm moving to a new place with faster Internet soon!

Searching for few-tb hdd's now and can go to 11gb ram instead of the 1,5 it has right now as well (that friend has that ram available for purchase).

Exciting things!

Microsoft: We're brings new updates to Edge....

Me: Oh nice, was about time.
**Reads changelog**

"Edge now has support for Internet Explorer"

"No, really, you can now run IE in Edge."

Me: Oh for Fuck Sake!

Browsed around the internet for a good linux distro to use.
Someone somewhere recommended Arch.
Downloaded Arch and usb booted it.
Tried to install it for 30 minutes and gave up.(😂)
Found a new recommendation, Bunsenlabs.
Now i have installed Bunsenlabs on every device i have (except for my phone & tablet of course :DD)
It's great!
(Image is not related to earlier text)

God dammit, my ISP fucked up.

I have a 400 Mbit/s Internet connection, which I pay a lot for it. I live in the central of a average city and we got 18 Appartements here with a banque and a wellness shop underneath.

There is a new shop under our block and 1 month ago a tecnician was here and made some recabling, so the shop would get enough performace.

Now since 1 week ago I have a bad output, laggs in games and just get about 250 Mbit/s, when not on high traffic times.

That fucking multipler in our house is over 10 years old and around 18 households are connected to it.

WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU NOT CHANGING IT, WHEN YOU SEE IT'S NOT ENOUGH?

We all here in this building are paying a lot for it, and now that fucking thing is overused and broken and you're just grabbing our money you shitbags!!!

YOU HAD ONE JOB! ONE FUCKING JOB!!!

New flat. Still no internet.

Time to do some reading

Moved to a new house, no internet access till end of this month :O

When your internet download speed is faster than your system copy speed. Damn! I need a new laptop !!

Moved to a new place about two months ago.

The internet connection is provided and baked into my rent. Didn't mention anything about speed.

First thing I did was to check with my phone over 2.4 GHz hit about 100/100 and thought.

Sweet! I have the nice 100/100 Mbits speed!

Yesterday I had some issues with my 2.4 GHz band on my phone. (I have a lot of wireless devices, mice, keyboards, headphones, so it makes sense) Couldn't even do a speed check. Was like. What the fuck. Switched to 5Ghz band because it's not as busy with other devices.

Do a speed check.

500/500.

I realize. Wait. I am checking from my phone.

What does my cable connected computer really get?

900/700

Holy shit. I've been connected to gigabit internet for almost two months without knowing.

What the shit. What God have blessed me with such sick speeds?

Just released the side project that made me join programming! :) It's been about five months and I learned a lot: PHP, JavaScript, CSS, Handlebars, Jquery, Git (terminal), I even started building a RestAPI. Its been an amazing journey, and I didn't alone! I met other Devs (now good friends) over the Internet and we did it together :) Thanks to everyone on DevRant for being such a great community!
If you want to take a look at the site is: projectgroupie.com
It's a website to find new projects you like and join them! So if you're a developer and you wanna make a blog, you post your project on PG asking for some designer to help you and if someone like it, he can join! :)

I hope you enjoy it and any feedback is welcome!

Got a new 4k smart TV. But internet to slow to buffer YouTube videos at 4k.

New girl at work: "I like using internet explorer"

Me: "F youuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!!".....In my head, but breath out, smile and say "hmm k"

I was once at my uncle's 40th birthday party and bored to hell, so he gave me a book that was supposed to be "Python for kids". I started reading it and soon fell in love with programming.
Since then I've often learned new programming languages by reading books or lately mostly the internet.
My books here should be in chronological order:

Safari : the new internet explorer! ❤️

Wanted to make a website with some of my friends about whatever kid thing we were into at the time. None of our parents cared, it was the 90s and nobody took the internet seriously.

Copied and pasted bits of html into notepad and FTPed them to some free webhost over dialup. The website lasted three weeks -- my friends got bored, I got hooked.

A few years later I found myself wondering why some websites used ".php" instead of ".html". I discovered this shiny new thing called PHP 4. Built a website for some video game I was into using it. Spent the next two years teaching myself everything there was to know.

Took programming in high school. Chose CS over mechanical engineering because I liked the university better. Got an internship which turned into a job which turned into a career.

In the distant year of 2022.

Safari changes its logo to more appropriately reflect its position as the new Internet Explorer.

Chrome monopolized the spyware market and is facing another antitrust investigation.

Mozilla finally managed to fire all the developers working on Firefox and replaced them with highly trained dead monkeys.

Brave successfully consolidates itself as a cryptocurrency wallet and leaves the browser space.

Edge has two new users.

Who the **** is Vivaldi

Found this on mastodon:

I sometimes imagine that somewhere there must be a Ministry for Messing Up the Internet. It would be like a Monty Python sketch.

Each day a new idea would arrive in the intray of an official who looks like a young John Cleese. They would form a large pile of papers.

[reads] "Make a protocol so complicated that nobody can understand it. No the Sematic Web has already been tried".

[reads] "Ban all the cat photos for spurious copyright reasons. No, we already have an upload filter in progress to do that".

[reads] "Fill Tim Berners-Lee's socks with elephants. No - much too silly."

"Ah yes, [reads] make a giant man in the middle that everything on the internet has to go through like a sausage machine and get squirted out on the other side, hopefully in the correct order. Bernard, get Cloudflare on the phone immediately."

@bob@soc.freedombone.net

The worst tech day if my life... In terms of broken things.

I went to London... For a meeting with a new client.

I missed the train being me I made sure I got the early one so I could get another if I missed it...

1st tech fail, the machine didn't print off my tickets just the receipt which is why I was late

Got to London thought I'd try uber I didn't want to be late...

25 minutes till destination ... Ok

2nd tech fail... Was 45 minutes 😔

Now I'm 10 minutes late!

So I rush out of the uber to try and get to the meeting ....

3rd tech fail 😔 I drop my laptop ... Screen was ok I got lucky .

Went to meeting it was in a coffee shop ! I was alone meeting 5 people in this charity.

This company didn't occur to them I'd need internet to show them websites 😐

4th tech fail no internet

Needless to say I didn't get the job. Sad because I would of done a good job . At least I got to chill in London. For a few hours.

They put me on a hot seat as such all asking me questions

I was 19 terrified stressed. And it's only been a year... I'm doing the same tomorrow!

Fingers crossed

A friend bought a new PC and asked me to help him set it up. He said he got everything working except the CD drive. He said it took him forever just to figure out how to get the keyboard and mouse to work. "I mean, have you ever owned a computer where the keyboard and mouse had to plug into the monitor instead of the computer?"

He bought a desktop PC, and and all-in-one thinking it was a monitor. He had the HDMI going from the all-in-one to the desktop, and was trying to use the CD drive on the desktop.

Wish you could've seen his face when I unplugged the desktop computer and his "monitor" didn't shut off. He looked at the desktop, and then the all-in-one, and said, "Wait... How is it still on?"

He also had his old USB wifi plugged into the desktop thinking that's what was providing him with an internet connection.

One of the new guys on another team calls the Internet the Innernet because he doesn't hear the T. He both days and writes it as Innernet.

He told me today he wants to switch to our network team.

So I'm moving to a new/bigger place with faster Internet soon so I think it's time to rebuild my current home/remote server setup.

I want to setup the following things:
- vps for server monitoring (open source pushover alternative + netdata)
- Zero tier network for connecting all my servers to the same network
- pihole/pivpn (or the Angristan vpn installer, look it up :)
- second blocking thingy next to pihole to make sure that I literally can't access google/fb etc anymore, even if I really needed/wanted to
- bunch of general servers.

Any ideas?

How to hide your important files from people without making Hidden folders
1. Go to Desktop and create a new folder
2. Name the folder Internet Explorer
3. Change the folder icon to Internet Explorer.
4.Done

Once I moved to new flat that had no internet connection yet, so I went to restaurant located under my apartment, that had WiFi secured with password. I asked for it while waiting for the order - it was "A1B2C3D4". After a while I got anoyed that it was so slow, so checked if can acces router admin page and restrict access for their clients. It turned out I can and they used default login and password, so they ended up with only my MAC whitelisted. Seemed they had connected their own business PC ("office PC") via LAN too, so I was curious if they call ISP to check it out. I checked the router settings every day, even after I got my own internet connction and they had it blocked for about 3 weeks. Then they changed WiFi password, so I came again, asked for password (another shitty one), checked router admin page and... still default login and password...

Moved into my a new house. No internet yet, and my mobile data barely connects. Real life horror story.

Installed Linux on my grandma's computer because she uses it only to browse internet so there was nothing new to learn for her other than how to shut it down which is dead simple and the win10 she had previously was slow as fuck. The thing used to be unusable, now it runs fine, LXDE for the win on slow machines

I got a new laptop today, it only had internet explorer so I used it and it's actually not that bad at downloading other browsers (ಠ ͜ʖಠ)

"Don't reinvent the wheel..." - I read it often, still I hate to use foreign code. It's not only that I do it for learning purposes. I just don't trust them. I want to keep the control, I want to understand my application and I want to be to blame when things fuck up.
I would probably through my laptop if my website gets hacked because of some fucking plugin or code I found somewhere on the internet.

So yes, I will invent the wheel new. At least I will spent some time to understand how this particular wheel is made, how it rolls and how I can improve it for my specific situation.

Sometimes my tires have some uncommon profile, but they fit to the stuff they are made for.

It was the year 2000, when IE was considered awesome. The internet then was slow and expensive and I had a quota about half an hour a day for dial up.

I discovered that I could view the source code of any page and while it looked rather cryptic I slowly started to understand how it worked. After months of tinkering in Notepad, I was able to write some html and JavaScript. No books, no online tutorials, just pure act of curiosity and a sense of adventure.

How to write JavaScript properly had to wait for another decade after an engineering degree, a dozen other languages, and new browser. But those tinkering days were what got me into coding.

How to make your employee suffer, drive them insane and having suicide tendency 101.

Delay the paycheck for 18 days but still asking about task progress like a normal day. Like nothing happened.

I can't pay water and electricity bills that due in 3 days, can't buy medicine,
can't buy gas for the bike,
next week i'm not gonna be able to buy food

The good thing is, i still got the internet, i can look for new jobs and play some games to forget how shit my life right now while the electricity lasts.

Disclaimer
I have no suicide tendency, just to make it more hiperbolic 🤣

Can we ever have a truly democratic and uncensored Internet?
I am writing this in irritation and anger as I read a story headlined " Apple CEO backs China’s vision of an ‘open’ Internet as censorship reaches new heights"
Appearantly "Open Internet" as the Chinese Government understands it is, "you can say whatever you want as long as we like it". And Apple being the ass-kissing, 730-million-customer-seeking, co**suckers that they are is only happy to comply. They even removed 674 VPN apps from the Chinese version of their App Store last year to comply with government rules, stating "We strongly believe that participating in markets and bringing benefits to consumers is in the best interests of folks there and in other countries as well, We believe in engaging in governments even when we disagree.”
That was Cook by the way.
Thats two fucking contradictory statements rolled into one!!

Anyway, I know private companies are well within their rights to do what they want to make profits. And I understand Apple might not be at fault totally. But its just so frustrating... :-(
The Net Neutrality repeal in the US, this, the Aadhar shit in India and lots of other stuff thats been happening around the world, that just blatantly undermine Civil Rights and freedom makes me imagine that only a bleak future sits on horizon. Almost Orwellian.

If only people would just realise and revolt a bit... probably we would have a different future then..

I hope I am wrong and this is just the pessimist in me speaking.

In a moment of boredom I decided to pen test the new system I've been writing on the live server. Ran sqlmap but forgot to proxy my connection.

DDOS protection kicked in and blocked the entire offices connection to the server, had to drive home quickly to use my home internet to un-blacklist my office ip. 😂

I got transferred to a new city at the client location for few months.
I got the credentials for internet access, but I was not able to get internet. I contacted the admin and after troubleshooting it for few minutes, he asked where is Internet Explorer in this laptop?

I immediately understood, why they need me here. I was using a MacBook. 😐

PS: In the end, he gave me the full access without any credential requirements.

Before 10 years, a WordPress site hacked with sql injection. They had access to site, they modified many php files and installed commands to download random malwares from over the internet.

At first I didn't know that it hacked and I was trying to remove any new file from the server. That was happening every 1-2 days for a week.

Then I decided to compare every WordPress file with the official, it was too many files, and I did it manually notepad side notepad!! :/

Then I found about over 50 infected files with the malware code.

Cleaned and finished my job.

No one else knows that I did a lot of hard job.

Fuck ISP. Just moved to nz. Explain to this company im working at home on the internet. Need it fast.

Takes 8 days to get the 📦 in a country of 5 million people. Wtf.

Box does not contain all default connections for box to work in a default house hold.

Call them. Tells me i have to go get it myself because i didnt request it. Fuck you or did you just fuck me.

Pay 100 dollars (this is in new zealand even though it feels like afghanistan. Not trying to offenecse any on here btw) a month for unlimited internet and phoneline.

They forget to put on the phone line.

Pay their fucking stupid 4 dollar cable insurance because new zealand has houses built for fucking cave people with 0 insolation and prone to dampness.

First day connections dont work. Well is that not fucking beautiful. I actually payed 4 worthy dollars.

WRONG YOU MOTHER FUCKER.

They tell me i didnt take the insurance.i go mayhem tell them how useless they are. So they send some one 8am the next mornin while activating the insurance. Ho yeah they also told me they forgot to include landline in my account.

Now 2 days in everything works im happy. Wake up to “your account has been suspended because you went over the max 200$ of your credit. You owe us 250$ before you can re-activate your account....

Inside boiling. Rudness and caps just won`t help.... I need some blood.... Some ISP blood....

Screw the German Telekom!
I recently got a new home without internet so naturally, I went to an isp, Telekom. I went there a few weeks ago and was pleasantly surprised by the personal and the general competence. He told me they would send a technician to check my cable. So I thought great and went home. 1 A week passes, nobody shows up. I then went back to the shop and asked(someone different). He basically told me that such a service must be specifically asked for and a contract has to be signed. I then told
him his colleague told me no such thing, and that the technician should have checked up on my connection last week. He excuses him self and I signed the thingy.

Now you would imagine that this would have worked.
but.
NOOOoooo.

A week came and went and I got pissed. So I went back to the shop the guy from the first try was there. I Asked what happened, he types in his Computer. and. and. and. nothing. Apparently, the previous guy forgot, fucking forgot, to enter my request to their bloody System.
Now I asked if I can Just become a customer.
Guy: Sure, what speed is available in your region?
Me: I don't know...
Guy: Let me check
/Type/ /Type/
Guy: I can't see your speed the technician should have checked.
Me: Um, so, can he check?
Guy: Clearly you don't know what you want
Me:???
Guy:*leaves table*

(shorten but you get the Idea)

At this point, I really wanted to change isp so I went to Vodafone.

Lady comes up to me asks me a bunch of stuff and I explain I would want to change my phone, internet, tv, mobile and my friends mobile(I lost a bet once ^~^) to Vodafone.

What happened next I can't really explain, but she talked to her boss and "cheated" (how she calls it) on Vodafone and got me an AMAZING deal it is cheaper than Telekoms has waay more mobile data, faster Internet and I got a new phone :D.

And guess what she could fucking check, fucking check from here Computer my max internet speed.

I can only hope that the lady got a big fat commission for what she has done.

Someone posted a picture of a porn actress(like a *new* actress) that looks exactly like my manager.....bruh this is killing me she looks exactly like my manager to the point that it is freaking me out thinking that she has a gig on the side or something

I can't get over this.
This is what happens when your manager is insanely attractive.

Internet wtf.

No i am not posting pictures.

I get a call from a client at 7 PM:
- Client: We have a business partner that just visited the website you just made for us and he said it was absolutely terrible, things are not showing up, layout is all messed up... *sends photo*. This is a VERY important new business partner and this will affect our relationship and image. Fix it NOW!
- Me: ok? I will check ... *proceed to check on several browsers and versions*
- Me: I checked on all modern browsers, cleaned cache, tried from multiple devices, it seems to be fine. What browser is your partner visiting the site from?
- Client: Idk, let me ask ...
- Client: Internet Explorer
- Me: ... that browser is not even supported anymore wth?!
- Client: We need it fixed!
- Me: ... *proceeds and hacks for IE website until 6 AM*

Learning a new programming language:

1. reading basics
2. creates small programs
3. plan new projects
4. search everything else in the internet
5. output: we have become code gods

*winks at stack overflow and github*

Meet 'SBI Online' app from Play Store, in their own words:

What they were supposed to do?
"Experience the new Retail Internet Banking of SBI"

What they do?
"SBI online app will redirect to SBI Retail Internet Banking (online SBI) site"

Why do they have app?
"No need to remember URL",
"Less memory space required on device"

App storage space?
F**king 2.6 MB, just to redirect users to their website, in third-party browser.

So my ISP just called me again that I'm sending plenty of spam. This time, I have all flows logged, so I know for sure that it wasn't my TV (only vulnerable device with internet access) and as my switch was offline there is nothing in front of my router anymore. And I learned that all the spam was going directly to their smtp server which I never used and didn't even know they have some. All in all everything points to their cable modem. Will tell them that in response to the mail they promised to send me. Really looking forward to new at least a little bit competent ISP (alternative should be available soon).

One year for Christmas, my dad got me an old tower and installed Windows 98 on it. He also got two old-school PCI WiFi cards so that my "new" computer could access the Internet via his.

I started learning basic web development. I would convince my mom (an English teacher) to buy me books on programming all the time when she was getting her own books at the store.

Eventually, I got a book on Blitz Basic and started making my own video games.

Then GameMaker, Java, C/C++, and more web development and design happened until all the sudden, out of nowhere, I'm a computer scientist 😁

It's crazy how much we owe to our parents. And neither us nor them even realized what they were doing at the time!

So I was preparing for my project assessment at school when some business guy walks up to me asking if we were students here and if we were interested in doing "internet things" for his new business..

How you can hide your important files from people without making Hidden folders...

1. Go to Desktop and create a new folder
2. Name the folder Internet Explorer
3. Change the folder icon to Internet Explorer
4. Keep it in a corner of the desktop

Now, no one will open internet explorer

Two days ago...

I was happy, building out the network in a new lokation.

Suddenly my phone just doesn't want to stop ringing, from all the other lokation calling in that they can't connect to HQ.
Then HQ calls, we don't have internet, nothing works. The one guy on location who has access to the server room enters and finds all the servers offline and a couple of breakers blown.
Turn on breakers, servers won't boot properly.
Me in a taxi and hurry to HQ, to help boot the servers.

Afterwards I find out that one of the bosses spilled a cup of coffee on his desk, shorting the circuit.
Apparently he is on the same breaker group as the servers!?! What the actual fuck!

At least now the other bosses are like; yeah, we need to do something about that

My Android phone is 5 years old. Everybody tell me I should buy a new one but I'm a stingy environmentalist and I refuse buying new stuff if it is not strictly necessary.

So, for 9€ I replaced the phone battery and then I installed a custom ROM, so it looks a bit newer.

Unfortunately, it seems that something in the network configuration has been fucked up.
The phone is able to browse the Internet, but:
- WiFi hotspot is not working
- USB tethering is not working
- Bluetooth tethering is not working
- PPP over USB is not working

But, hey, I never give up, so this is my current setup:
- I installed a proxy server on the phone
- I'm using "adb forward" to forward the proxy port from the phone to my laptop
- I configured Firefox to use that proxy

And, yes, I'm using that connection to write this post. :D

So this is a rant about my country and especially my city: Berlin (Germany).
Germany is like a third world country when it comes to IT infrastructure. We have one of the slowest internet speeds in the whole EU. People are still afraid to pay with their card or phone. My people love their coins. While most of the other countries see the importance of the new technologies we still use mainly copper wire for internet. So why am I especially mad about Berlin? Google was planning to bring an innovation campus to our city. They wanted to establish a place for startups and technology. But the people from Berlin demonstrated against it extremely. They didn't want to have a company like Google in their city. I also am not a big fan of Google, but this would be such an important step to a better future for Germany. In a few years Germany will have a huge problem because we are so far behind the other countries. And it is so sad to see that seemingly no one cares about this.

This rant was brought to you by the worst internet in the whole EU

New computer! I named it P.E.A.C.H. which is supposed to be an acronym, but I couldn't find a satisfying meaning.

Mind the stickers. I'd love to put a devRant sticker there too.

Components:
- Gigabyte AORUS GA-AX370-Gaming 5
- AMD Ryzen 7 1700
- Scythe Mugen 5 "PCGH Edition"
- 16GB HyperX FURY DDR4-2666 DIMM CL15-17-17
- 500 Watt Cooler Master B500 ver.2 Non-Modular 80+
- 275GB Crucial MX300 2.5" (SSD)
- 1000GB Seagate BarraCuda ST1000DM010 (HDD)
- Sharkoon BW9000-W Midi Tower
- Some video card and DVD drive I removed from an old computer

It still needs a good video card and internet connection.

With the dual boot and my MacBook Pro I cover Windows, Linux and MacOS.

Your most paranoic internet experience?

Several years ago, I was going to watch my first porn movie, and I was so afraid of the porn page publishing on my facebook "Elizadeath liked Xporn.net" or something like that (I had family on my facebook friends) so I:

1.- Used an old tablet (even its screen was crashed)
2.- Removed all email accounts (it has Android)
3.- Uninstalled all the social media apps, including youtube
4.- Put a piece of tape on the frontal camera
5.- Bought new headphones
6.- Navigated at the Android's default browser instead of Chrome, and in "secret" mode
7.- Deleted the cache and history after watching the movie XD

What's your experience?

Got my new apartment and now need it hooked up.

So my dad (an experience developer) messages me and says the new apartment uses Verizon FiOS, $80 a month for TV + Gigabit internet

Well I checked the site and I see there's another plan: internet only at 50mbps... for $40

So I'm like "are you stupid?"

I don't need TV. If I really want, I'll just stream TV using THEIR login

And I don't need transfer speeds of 125 MB/s.... I ain't an online PVP gaming monkey

4MB/s is good enough...

When your ISP tells you they will transfer your internet connection to your new house in one month and they give you 10GBs on your mobile phone.

And I'm like "Ummm okay, this might be enough for a day or so... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ "

So today I got a new CPU after the old ones were decommissioned. A fresh new desktop.
"Where is my chrome I think."
"Oh ya", I open Internet Explorer, type Google.
Google delightfully asks," Want to try chrome?."
"Yes sir I do."

-This one never gets old!!

Forgot to push to stable branch before I left from work. Nightly build takes 5 hours so I needed to do that in order to get nightly in the morning. As I'm moving I have only cellphone with 16k internet at home. Sounded like I'm screwed. But luckily fetching few new commits and pushing them back to correct branch git managed even over this parody of internet connection. Love git, I'm saved. Whole repo has few hundred megs, if I had to download everything it would be faster to wait to get real internet connection in few days.

I like coding at night, nobody bothers you... Anyway, I'll never forget when I had to write a Huffman compressor(and decompressor) in C for a school project. It was New Year's Eve of 2016, as fireworks were blowing outside the window of my room, I was fixing bugs. Then, around 4am, I fixed all the bugs. I felt exhilarated as I started compressing and decompressing random images on the internet, comparing hashes.
One of the best New Year's Eve ever... Don't look at me like that... I like being weird.

Yeah sure, the Metaverse will be bigger than the Internet.

I really believe that. Short of a system collapse, there's nothing which will stop some Web/VR/AR amalgam from eventually going mainstream. If anything, a prolonged pandemic will make humans hunger for more digital entertainment and socializing options.

Might take 5 years, or 25, but it will happen in some form. Eventually, people will even readily accept various augmentations to their bodies to further immerse themselves and connect to digital experiences.

BUT:

We're still pre-bubble.

Does no one remember the dotcom crash?

Facebook/Meta will become the new Yahoo, decimated to a sliver of its former glory. Million dollar hype NFTs will become the new $10 parked domain names. 99.99% of all current efforts and content will end up like a modern day Geocities Archive.

So yeah... when I read that my pension fund is considering "investing in metaverse technologies"...

...you fucking bet it's time to transfer to a different fund!

Who in their right mind though it would be a good idea to move the web development team to a new office without checking that the internet is connected.

What a waste of three working days.

And of course the project needs to be delivered by Sunday...

So I'm working on an CLI right now that fetches data from a website and downloads other stuff based on that data etc bla bla. And since its async it can fully taste my whole internet speed (130Mb/s).

So everything's good and I started working on a new feature. I started the app and it worked... For 3 minutes. After that it just stopped. It didn't even freeze or anything. After 2 hours of debugging and 3 cans of coffee I was so frustrated I just wanted to watch some YouTube and relax. That's the moment I realized I didn't even have internet. I hate my ISP...

Alright. Two dead Commodores.

Over 15 years before I was born? ✅
No idea how BASIC works? ✅
Internet at the ready? ✅

So far I've checked various chips for visible damage, and nothing except a blown fuse on both machines. Apparently it takes dual 9vAC and single 5vDC. The 9 powers the SID and the video output, the VIC-II heatsink is off, and I've tested the PSU voltages and one of the 9v's is dead. I'll be getting new fuses and a new PSU soon. Any recommendations on other things to check or things to do when they're done? Pic included because why not.

A box with 20 blotters of LSD, a bottle of Tawny Port, some rock climber's hand strength training clay which is great against RSI, a very undomesticated purring feline, some leatherworking tools (making a new folding case for my phone), 2 sesame bagels with cream cheese, a piece of cherry wood, two routers (one woodworking, one internet), one Ducky Horizon and one ErgoDox keyboard, two boxes of baby wipes and a bottle of formula, an expired ticket to a corona-cancelled concert, my sleeping newborn daughter wrapped in a black hoodie, a bottle of cognac, 3x 1440p displays, a chunk of chocolate, one freshly brewed cortado, a bottle of dimethylsulfoxide, 3 laptops, a TV remote, a glass of water, and one bolt which was left over from an IKEA box but I'm unsure which furniture item it belongs to.

In my opinion during the past 18 hours devRant has gone from a great resource - to a must have indispensable developer community. It shows the power of Internet communication.

So many new developers arriving are making it so much more fun and valuable. I enjoyed devRant before but now it is amazing.

I am having a tough time keeping up - which is great.

First year at university, prepared to set up multiple electronics.
rPi, arduino Ethernet shield, laptop, and desktop.
Brand new netgear switch to satisfy my internet surfing needs....

After setting up my devices, I realized none of them have internet. Hm. The feed port on my switch wasn't blinking either. So I tell the front desk, and a short 7 days later the port is back on. Yay, problem solved.

One morning I arise to see the port dark and inactive. Furious I use my laptop to share an internet connection while my actual port is "broken".

Support ticket is reopened and this time I get an email saying the port was disabled due to a security issue.

Me: what's the issue?
IT: there was more than two devices connected to the port

(OnLy TwO dEvIcEs PeR port???)

Me: oh okay I will only connect two.

The next day the port is disabled, again.

Me: can you tell me why it was disabled?
IT: a switch was detected being used, security error.
Me: how do I connect more than one device to the port without a switch???
IT: ...
IT: Please only connect one device.

🤔

And here I am again,
15 minutes to midnight and searching the internet for a new, cool Distro I could try.

After long time logged into windows desktop and dared to open internet explorer then I seen option

"What's New in Internet Explorer 8"

So I thought let's see what's new in IE8

When I clicked on that option, suddenly my CPU fan stopped working.

There was no connection between them,
But what a coincidence!

F***U IE:D

I was called back into work last night at 4 a.m.

(L)user - *anony* I’m sorry to wake you but I’m needing on the internet and I can’t get out.

**Just installed a new firewall and I haven’t had time to get a trusted cert pushed through**

Me - alright I’ll be there in a second.

After rolling my sweet ass out of bed and getting here, I get her through and leave. When I get back to my house I realize I’d forgot my fucking keys... I come back and the bitch has her computer shut down reading a book and isn’t even using the internet...

Me - I thought you needed on the internet, whys your computer shut down...?

Her - Oh, I don’t need it right now, I was just having trouble getting on is all.

FUCK YOU, YOU FUCKING FUCK! This is the SAME fucking (l)user that somehow managed to get the fucking toner stuck backwards in a printer. It’s the same girl that has called me in the past at late hours and requested that I move a chair from one patient room to the other. A fucking chair. I’m not in the maintenance department... so first, you’re calling the wrong department and second; the time it took you to call me you yourself could have fucking done it. She didn’t like the way that call ended.

Although partially my fault, if I would have finished everything I wouldn’t have had to get up but shit... this fuck still deserves a chair to the fucking face.

FUCK Y.O.U. windows 10 for making my pc not recognize mics on the front port.
Seriously i usually dont mind windows that much but really ?! Oh hello i noticed you changed your os version THEN LET ME FUCK UP YOUR DRIVERS SO YOU FEEL LIKE A RETARD NOT BEING ABLE TO TALK.
Worst is i feel like an idiot because i have no idea how to fix this shit apart from buying a new PC, aaaaand im pretty sure while trying to fix it i made it worse
FUCK IM A SCRUB. FUCK PEOPLE ON INTERNET AND THEM "It works". NO IT DOESNT !
And now i feel like a worthless dev because of w105

Fuck my internet banking.
My bank just created a "new" version of internet banking which literally looks the same except it freezes my browser all the time. WTF??!!

You will have a first phase when you will do everything on your own.

Then you will have a second phase when you will totally rely on external libraries found on the internet.

Then you will have a phase when you will use libraries only for the stuff you don’t want to bother because, never reinvent the wheel but do not get too much tech debt.

Then the hyper simplification phase when you will refuse modern solutions for good old robust stuff as they used to do back then

Then I don’t know… but I am getting interested in agriculture

Anyway try always to learn new stuff and don’t be afraid of change as it is normal. And learn other skills not related to code, those will keep you alive

Maybe this ever tightening straight jacket of surveillance and restrictive legislation is pushing the internet in the right direction. We might end up with a proper free and anonymous interwebz.

Personally, I'll start worrying when they ban the operation of Tor nodes... And that will probably pass easily since regular folk don't know the implications. The smear campaign will be ez mode: just call it a hotbed of pedophilia and criminal activity and push the new laws as something along the lines of Put an End to Naughty Individuals and Scumbags (PENIS) act. Done and done.

I mean... if they can threaten to take away the memes without being stopped then there's nothing they can't do, lol.

Boss: ABC
Me: as an intern at XYZ firm.

ABC: this is internet is very slow today, AmanDeep what happen check it.

me: Sir,there are too much user on the wifi.

ABC:So how we can disconnect them without their knowing.

me: We have to deauth all of their connection using fluxion.

ABC: Do it fast...
me: its take time to be done, you have to do by linux.

ABC: I had done it before in my high school on cmd you and your excuses for the work.You are lame at work...
...\../..
\......../
Me: Now i am searching a new internship...

A 27" monitor with a 1080p resolution is a match made in hell. Oh the eye bleach. (At home I got 30" with 2k or 1440p resolution. Much better viewing experience.)

I'm having my first day in the office in the new job after two week of remote work. I think I will prefer working from home office definitly (even though the office coffee machine is nice).

It doesn't help that the internet connection in the office is 100 Mbit and at home I have 1 Gbit.

Just me today:
> Comes back home from uni after half a year
> Notices new fiber internet connection
> Connects and does a speed test
> Finds discrepancy, spends two hours configuring routers
> Runs speed test again, satisfied
> Puts bags down and begins unpacking

priority(Internet) > priority (almost_everything_else) 😤

Fuck Microsoft! 😡
I bought the new xBox One S....
Turns out it's not compatible with my home network and you can't set it up without an internet connection.
Ended up using my phone data (2GB used) just so I could do the updates required to watch a 4K movie.
Oh well, I guess I'll have to wait for the new internet connection arriving Monday 😔

When I was in school, people came to me every once in a while, wanting to make a new great MMORPG with destructible terrain and factions.

Then came the guys who wanted to make a new amazing app that will help them fix some minor life inconveniences (like tracking expiry dates on the groceries in your fridge).

And now there are guys who want to make blockchain, IoT and chatbot based startups.

I just want to watch youtube and post shit on the internet. :(

I'm starting my new job in 10 days, but I don't have the proper internet access to feel really confident about it. My parents want me to move out of the house so they don't have to accommodate for my new job. I'm getting chemo in a few weeks. I'm really sick of fighting shit. Trusting in the plan though.

Back in the day, when callbacks was all I've found on Internet tutorials, my code looked like this (img) . But then I found something called "async" and it changed my life!

But I couldn't let go of my old ways, so the code with async looked just like the callback one, but with new boilerplate code.

The thing is: you can't simply USE something new like you were using the old one. you'll probably use it wrong. you have to understand that this new thing is different and adapt your thinking process to better work with it.

you can sit on a skateboard and go forward using your hands on the ground to push it, but that's not how it was designed to work.

I still use callbacks because I have no intention of rewriting my working codebases right now (because they work just fine). But, even with my struggles in changing to new tech, I've learned to adapt (sort of).

As a final year student it makes me feel proud about things I do now, back in 2014 I was newbie to programming and after the years of study ( I skip collages in order to study by my self at home since my syllabus is too old for me to keep up with new technologies. ) I still feel like shit against brilliant programmers on the internet.

My journey untill now was frustrating and side by side it was fun too, I have spent several days to figure out very minor problems in my programme which made me forced to learn even more in order to avoid silly mistakes in future.
Those four lines of output were really true worth of that forty lines of code.

Every one of us, in their entire life at least once had thought about which programming languages to learn first and yes I was one of those guy who used to search on Google, watched YouTube videos and asked seniors for the same advice but soon I realized it's never enough to completely learn even one language. Each and every programming language is based on similar logical structure. No matter how different it's syntax is it won't make much of a difference.

I am thankful to internet and all of those guys who make video tutorials, help on q&a forum (stack overflow) , publish posts on website and all of IT community guys. I made it this far it's all thanks to you and I know it's just beginning of spectacular journey ahead.

I’ve had enough of shitty ISPs. Time to shame them 😈

Here in the UK, we have a company called TalkTalk who treat their customers as whores by not giving a shit and taking all their money.

I have had an ongoing issue for about 9 months now where our internet is more unstable, but also slower. We pay for 72Mbps at which we used to get, but now our internet tops out at 30Mbps if we are lucky. It can be 20Mbps one minute and 7Mbps the next, and I’ve had it drop below 1Mbps for no goddam reason.

I’ve spoken (well, argued) argued to their so called customer service department over phone and live chat explaining the situation and all they’ve done is said “restart your router”, or “we’ll send out a new router, it’s probably a WiFi issue”, or some bullshit like “I’ve ‘changed’ something on my end”. On one conversation with a so called technician, I had to explain how networking actually worded, and and even called a 7Mbps acceptable when we were paying for 10x that!!!!!

The thing that makes it worse is they actually have systems that detect any issues with customers internet lines, but they only alert the customer to the issue through an online portal, telling the customer to call up and get it dealt with rather than passing the info to a tech department and having issues fixed without the customer knowing unless it’s absolutely necessary.

So 9 months in and I still have a fluctuating, unstable internet connection which is slow and overpriced with no tunnel in sight. GIVE ME BACK MY GODDAMN MONEY YOU FUCKING THIEVING BASTARDS.

I just got my Python project working on my new work PC!!! It took all morning 😂😂😂😂😂

I had to basically hack my company so I could do my job.

More specifically, I had to install a proxy server so Python, and other CLI tools, could access the internet via our company's NTLM/web proxy server.... After some IT morons reconfigured it... without testing or providing us a way to continue using it...

you either die a good browser or you live long enough to see yourself become the new internet explorer.

"Hey, I've been with the manager on the phone, do you know why we don't have any new open issues on the project? Because the client doesn't have internet anymore"

With limited Internet in 92 :P I read magazines and did line by line from the books. From Atari 520 ST, to vb6, then into PHP, C++ and C#, it's fully been a ride of self learning.

I envy the new generation with the massive amount of online learning sites. At age 36, been programming since I was 12. What an advantage young kids have today!

*pointing on IE icon* but does it work on the internet?

Setting my lovely grandma's new router since she now got fiber. Opening Firefox and pages load fast, still had to show that is also worked on "internet" to make her happy

It was around 2013, I was working on a project that had a great business idea, a really really bright feature (to this day I state the same) and all I was getting was around 400e/month of salary. (still was a junior dev)

So, I've been going on vacation to Spain for almost 1.5 month, everything was settled, there were no more pending jobs for me as I've finished everything that I could until more things would be done on the application and design that were needed.

It was 2nd week there, I didn't have a laptop with me as it was full vacation mode, no internet connection as it was almost 100e/month at that time, house I've lived in had no internet either. Then, one morning I receive a call that I must be on a skype meeting in any case - it was live or die situation. Me being me - went to a local internet cafe that was around 3km away from the house (on foot) - logged in to the call and proceeded. (I knew something is going to be fishy).

And there it was - I was needed to go back to my laptop and code a huge ass functionality so that we could present it to our testing clients. It was estimated to take around 3 weeks of full working days. No future payment, no compensation was offered but as stupid as I was - I went on with that and worked half of my vacation on full-day schedule... The functionality was delivered... Only after 4 months since the delivery date - the functionality was tested and after total of 9 months - was presented to the testers... I was pissed and asked for compensation as it was my vacation but all I heard was - NO, you took too long of a vacation and therefore it's your own fault. Soon after that I've started to receive every bit of blame if I was even 1 hour off the set deadline that was set by the manager that didn't have a single clue how programming works or even how to use the internet properly....

All in all, I'm still hurt of the 3 weeks that I've missed but since I've left the job 4 years ago (my salary had increased but I've quadrupled it since then) - I tend to see that it's a common practice to require things NOW and only deal with them MONTHS later...

Morale of the story:
Avoid working on your vacation at any means. If that will mean a lost job - then be it, you'll find a new one, presumably a better job.

Safari has become the new Internet Exploder.

Change my mind.

The technician from my previous ISP was creating a mess. The cables were worn out and overall the service quality started degrading. Maybe I too had an old router.

After 10 years of loyalty, decided to switch the ISP. Similar plan, better rates. However, this one is fibre optic.

Expecting better service and less bandwidth drop. We just got the installation done and now will get the connection activated next week.

The ISP has also agreed to provide me a free 5G router, so yayayay!!

I made a New Year's Resolution to take more of an interest in my Internet privacy. Feel like it's something I should have done a long time ago. I've stopped using Google search (DuckDuckGo instead), moved away from my Gmail account (Tutanota instead) and stopped using Chrome (Firefox/Firefox Focus instead). I've had my Gmail account since they first announced it and you could only sign up if someone invited you. It felt good to delete 7000 emails and what I estimate must have been 13-14 years of Google/YouTube searches. Currently experimenting with VPNs, considering paying for ProtonVPN soon.

WOOOP-DE-FUCKING-DO I HATE MY ISP (well actually the company which is reliable for the cable networks which lead to my/our new home).

WhAtEvErYoUmEaN and I moved yesterday to a new flat. Not spectacular at all except that mentioned company cancelled the appointment ON THE SAME FUCKING DAY! "We're so sorry. No internet until Thursday. At least"
Dickheads.

Well, so we are here in the middle of nowhere without internet. Time for old school books i guess😅

Safari is the new Internet Explorer, except people are using it 🤦‍♂️

Fuck, they updated the internal move policy in my company from 1 year 9 months to move to another team to be at least in the same team for 2 years.

I hope I can find a way to gtfo faster because I am honestly so tired of this shit, the tasks are getting too repetitive, my boss is useless, spends her time shopping instead of working and being stuck with a bunch of juniors means you only have the internet to learn something new.

I really want to start delving more into PAAS and start working with docker and kubernetes. Oh well, guess we'll have to wait and see.

Can you rant about yourself?

I was reading about the AWS outage, with little to no interest. I didn't know what it was and thus figured it wouldn't affect me.
Some time goes by and I come up with this 300++ vote post. I'm witty, I'm smart, but when I want to upload a photo it doesn't work.
Must be the app right? I restart, nope nothing. Whatever..

Sometime later I have a dashing new photo for tinder. Surely to give me all the matches. Nope, can't upload it.
Must be my phone or Internet then.
Restart everything, nothing is working. Complete madness, no devRant upvotes and I'm still single.
I surrender, give up. Which is one of the worst things to do for me as a dev.

Today. Which is the cherry on the cake. I finally see my connection to the incident. I feel stupid and annoyed by myself.
God dammit Julian, pay attention.

</rant>

fuck javascript
node.js module system sucks. Like its module system is trash, who will want to download some fucking 1GB worth of packages to create a new project.
People keep on just creating other package managers. Yarn is good enough because it caches your packages but still, i am just from deleting some 2.2Gb node modules from my computer and just whyy ?
An area where internet connection us shitty and expensive it is just not very well.
Fuck javascript is everywhere so i have to use it,

typescript just adds another layer to the heavy lifting. You write some typed code to 'reduce bugs' but you generate much more heavy code. I could write in 1kb js file but i end up getting some 3kb js because what - i used typescript-ügvjpiahdjb

fuck javascript

Been stuck with a fucking 13mbit internet connection shared between three people for the past seven years. Lived cheap in a nice location, so it was worth it, still frustrating af. Finally moved, new city, new place, new internet. Currently sitting on 300mbit at home. Downloaded update for car nav, 25gb, took about 15 minutes, where it would previously have taken all day. Feels fucking good man.

Everyone in the gaming internet talking about how Microsoft's Activision Blizzard purchase will usher in a new age of improvements have never had to use teams.

Probably when I heard about (as it was then) this new fangled "internet" thing going around.

Suddenly computers weren't isolated individuals, or networks, but had the power to talk to *other* computers as well, and exchange information with each other, and then take decisions and action based on that information - even talking to other computers in turn!

The potential for what this could do blew my mind a bit as a kid - and I'm not sure anyone, myself included, even then understood anywhere close to what the full impact would be in a few decades time.

Internet access at the new Uni is crap. I'm getting so pissed at this shit...
Packet loss spikes to over 50% every 30s or so. Can't keep a single SSH pipe open for longer than a minute. Firewall is so tight infrared light wouldn't get through that shit (understandable. And I use a VPN anyway).
And every. Single. AP. Uses. The. Same. Channel. All of them on 6. At least it's on a tight band... But 1 and 11 are free. 100% clean. You know, you could spread them a bit. That helps. But naaah let's keep everything bundled up. Co-channel interference is OK, right?

Well woke up to a new issue today my laptop ethernet goes down whenever i connect my power cable, so what am i to do pre-charge to gain internet access

This is not something new but I want to say it loud again.

With all my heart, fuck you internet explorer. Windows should release a FORCED update (sorry for that) and remove it from every fucking version of windows and antivirus programs should detect it as a virus. It should be removed from existence and browser lists and also saying its name should be crime. Also, please remove it and any releated memories with it from our brains.
Thanks.

Sooo I'm moving and I contacted my ISP to transfer my internet connection to the new house. And they told me they'll do it after the New Years Eve...
Trying to stay calm....

1. It's gonna be more and more specialized - to the point where we'll equal or even outdo the medical profession. Even today, you can put 100 techs/devs into a room and not find two doing the same job - that number will rise with the advent of even more new fields, languages and frameworks.

2. As most end users enjoy ignoring all security instructions, software and hardware will be locked down. This will be the disadvantage of developers, makers and hackers equally. The importance of social engineering means the platform development will focus on protecting the users from themselves, locking out legitimate tinkerers in the process.

3. With the EU getting into the backdoor game with eTLS (only 20 years after everyone else realized it's shit), informational security will reach an all-time low as criminals exploit the vulnerabilities that the standard will certainly have.

4. While good old-fashioned police work still applies to the internet, people will accept more and more mass surveillance as the voices of reason will be silenced. Devs will probably hear more and more about implementing these or joining the resistance.

5. We'll see major leaks, both as a consequence of mass-surveillance (done incompetently and thus, insecurely) and as activist retaliation.

6. As the political correctness morons continue invading our communities and projects, productivity will drop. A small group of more assertive devs will form - not pretty or presentable, but they - we - get shit done for the rest.

7. With IT becoming more and more public, pseudo-knowledge, FUD and sales bullshit will take over and, much like we're already seeing it in the financial sector, drown out any attempt of useful education. There will be a new silver-bullet, it will be useless. Like the rest. Stick to brass (as in IDS/IPS, Firewall, AV, Education), less expensive and more effective.

8. With the internet becoming a part of the real life without most people realizing it and/or acting accordingly, security issues will have more financial damages and potentially lethal consequences. We've already seen insulin pumps being hacked remotely and pacemakers' firmware being replaced without proper authentication. This will reach other areas.

9. After marijuana is legalized, dev productivity will either plummet or skyrocket. Or be entirely unaffected. Who cares, I'll roll the next one.

10. There will be new JS frameworks. The world will turn, it will rain.

So we do not have an amazing internet speed. Can you imagine the dread we feel in the office when a new xcode version needs to be used to have apps be accepted by apple again. For those uninitiated: update all ios devices. Update unity to work eith newest xcode. Update to newest xcode, update mac to newest osx to actually be able to update xcode. It takes FOREVER. If this meets you at 8am, you are not building today. You are done.

😒 I just found a new method of how to stay awake throughout the night without sleeping.... No coffee required

.. By 10pm
Start a project and name dictionary.py
On visual studio make sure you are not using internet because this is an exam and cheating ain't allowed..

Now start coding until it fully functioning and can generate random words out of predictions...

😩 Feel free to hate me after trying that

My business partner and I started working at our new office and this other guy who was our client and provided us Internet connection for very cheap price, asked us if he can come and hangout sometimes
My partner : yeah man, any time !!
That guy : thanks man
Partner : But only when we are not that busy and don't bring any other person unless it's a woman.
Me : what !!
My partner : what ?

Today,
I tried setting up XAMPP for running my friends code.. it took 5hrs and faced atleast one issue in every step from installation to running.

First
1) XAMPP Did not download itself, found that internet was down.

2) downloaded finally, installation phase went till 98% fatal error, windows collecting info for diagnosis

5)after 3 tries , suddenly it installed successfully

6)Apache force shut, every time I started it

7)1.5 hours later found VM had occupied the port 80, making it shut.
Changed the port

8)PHPmyadmin was recent ,that SQL 5.1 support was not There.

9)Now after setting up new instance of MySql 5.6 , created conflict.
Project referred one instance and PHPmyadmin referred other

10) Changed port numbers and added service entry in windows to make it work

At last the struggle ended up with happy ending.

My installation story precisely

Iam new to PHP development and XAMPP.

Ok, first rant, about my struggles getting reliable internet over the past 6 years. It's not too interesting of a topic, but here we go:

I'm living in a more rural part of Germany and internet here is shit. I pay more than 50 bucks a month for 700kb/s downstream (let's just not talk about upstream...), which is meh by itself but it gets worse. Before this I had roughly 230kb/s downstream using DSL. My provider came out with a new oh-so-fucking-fancy solution for giving people faster internet without upgrading their lame ass fucking backbone and POS infrastructure from 70 years ago: they sell you hybrid internet which combines your shit DSL and an LTE connection using TCP Multicast. Not only do I get only 6 of my promised (and payed for) 50 Mbit, no, It's also a fucking piece of nonworking shit!!!

Let me illustrate:
You constantly have problems with web content (or any remote content) not loading because the host server does not support TCP Multicast. It either refuses connection altogether or it takes about 30-50 seconds to establish a connection. Think about your live when it takes two or three fucking minutes to load 5 YouTube thumbnails or load new tweets at the bottom of the Twitter page! Also, you never know if you a) have an error in your implementation of a new API or if b) the remote host doesn't support TCPMC (there's never an error for that! Fuck you!), your SSH sessions ALWAYS drop in the most inopportune fucking moments because the LTE thing lost connection, you always have to turn on a VPN if you want to visit specific websites (for example your school's website) and so on....

Oh and also, my provider started throttling specific services again these days with Netflix and YouTube struggling to display 240p, fucking 240p video without buffering when I get 600kbit down on steam (ofc the steam download is paused when watching videos). When using a VPN, YouTube 720p and Netflix HD work like a charm again. Fucking Telekom bastards

Then there is the problem with VPNs. The good thing about them is that they solve all the TCP Multicast problems. Yay. Now for the bad things:
First of all, as soon as I use a VPN, access times to remote go up by like fucking 500%. A fucking DNS lookup takes 8-15 seconds!!! The bandwidth is there but it takes forever.. because reasons I guess. Then the speed drops to DSL speeds after a while because the router turns off my LTE connection when it is unused and it does not detect VPN traffic as traffic (again because... Reasons?) And also, the VPN just dies after an hour and you have to manually reconnect (with every VPN provider so far)

And as if that wasn't enough, now the lan is dying on me, too, with the router (the fucking expensive hybrid piece of shit, 230 bucks..) not providing DHCP service anymore or completely refusing all wifi connections or randomly dropping 5Ghz devices, or.....

You get the point.

The worst thing is, they recently layed down 400mbit fiber in my neighborhood. Guess where the FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT CABLE ENDS??? YEAH, RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY NEIGHBORS HOUSE. STREET NUMBER 19 IS SERVED WITH 400MBIT AND MY HOME, THE 20, IS NOT IN THEIR FUCKING SERVICE REGION. Even though there is a fucking cable with the cable companies name on it on my property, even leading up to my house! They still refuse to acknowledge it! FUCK YOU!!!!

Well anyways thanks for reading. Any of you got the same problems? :/

"there is no WiFi in hell"
- me, thinking about my new flat(that has no internet yet)
Still wondering why this sentence came to mind...

Why do marketers always tarnish the name of new concepts by turning them into buzzwords?

For example, "Cloud" is one of the most misused and overused words on the internet. If something has anything to do with the internet, it's likely to be plastered with the word "Cloud".

It's like "App" all over again. Anything remotely related to technology is called an "App" by it's marketing team and layman users.

Sad story:
SSHd to a vultr server, downloaded MongoDB docker (approx 170MB) download and extracting 70% of the image was done faster than me navigating from devRan notifs page, to devRant feed page, I need a new internet plan T_T

The moment I need internet to do things (npm with angular), but the company moved to a new building and internet is screwed. It'll still take a while to set up. So now I'm sitting here, ranting on devrant and doing nothing.

My exact face and thoughts right now:

Back when I lived in my university dorm I shared my room with internet admin. Usually I helped people with internet problems when he wasn't there and I've placed FAQ on the door how to fix common stuff with a little note, that I can help only with internet problems and only with those that aren't listed. It worked for most people, but one guy knocked and messaged me around 5 times a day to fix his system. So I've decided to finally do what he wants.
He: come on, I heard from XYZ that you are an admin in job and you fixed her computer.

Me: but I work only with servers
He: what's the difference? Just copy my photos to my external drive and install new system on my laptop, just like you do it in job.
Me: so this is that simple job?
He: yup, but I need a laptop tomorrow, because I have something to do at the evening.
Me: okay

I've used find to copy all the photos from his HDD and installed minimal Debian without xorg on the laptop. He hasn't come back after picking up his computer. And that's the way to get rid of leechers that whine for fixing everything because you are IT guy :D

Just an update : never fucking install windows 7 on a new desktop without first reading , fucking piece of shit won’t detect my SSD , tried different solution over the Internet to no success, after 3 hours of nerve wrecking debugging I read a post on the Internet that “some”(not sure which) versions of windows just don’t detect an SSD,
Finally done by installing windows 10,
But nooooooo will windows let me die in peace, noooooooo
Every fucking time I restart my PC “ windows is installing updates
I mean fuck you , how fucking many bugs do you squash in a day.

Probably some engineer at Microsoft will be “ oops o dropped a donut on my keyboard, let just press ctrl + z” to undo changes and upload , lol “

So Earth just completed another revolution around the Sun and people going craaaazy all over the internet. Like calm down bruh :v

As a kid, I wanted to try new stuff. New programs, new games, new websites, new OSs. Those were the days when we had very limited and slow access to internet and cloud was still to be discovered. I had everything on my local HDD.

So one fine day I decided to try out Ubuntu on my Windows 7 Laptop.

I emptied a partition, burnt the image to a USB drive and booted from it. Installation went well.

Somehow I ended up deleting the logical partitions on my Windows machine. Not only I was not able to boot into Windows, my HDD was just one tiny partition. I cried my eyes out. That disk had everything I ever had.

PS: I recovered everything by restoring the partitions.

Waiting for Apple to deprecate their iOS Safari and finally let people install real alternative browsers on their iPhones. Suckfari does not support aspect-ratio either, coincidentally spend hours to find that, now struggling with 100vh and -webkit-fill-available.
Microsoft at least left the choice to install something else besides Internet Explorer before they finally pulled the plug and provided Chromium Edge. Safari isn't the new Internet Explorer, it's worse.

First day of a new job.

Just found out that I am locked in to using Internet explorer on an ancient desktop running Windows 7 and I can't download any text editors that I want (atom, sublime, Android studio).

All because they are "security focused".

probably gonna die from smashing my head on the keyboard before the week is over.

Vodafone India is so shit omfg

Run npm install, ERROR json parse error due to ssl exception

Run pip install, again ssl exception

Run gradle build, again ssl exception!!!

Now everytime i gotta make a new project or install a dependency in anything, i have to pray to the blood god that cache contains a valid/uncorrupted package dependency or else ill have to nuke cache and borrow internet from someone else.
Once i port it to some other operator, i am gonna incinerate this mf sim.

Are "HTML Developers" real? I think they are just young geeks under 17 who learned something new on the internet.

Yay!!! New laptop is finally here. Doing some setup for work.
Fuck my internet btw

Last month my phone (YU YUPHORIA) stopped booting up.. so I went the "customer service center" and asked the guy maybe he can install new software. He tried and said we can't repair it.
I love this phone not the best performance phone but I love it. So I don't want to throw it away. So yesterday night I started searching how to install custom ROMs. and found a development mode build for my device. After some tutorials and experiment it's up and running baby... 📱😍. Thank you internet for helping me..

OpenCL...

Okay so I'm completely new to OpenCL and I just put some stuff together to get a simple GPU Kernel running. Well that worked pretty good.

The reason I got into OpenCL was because I wanted to do some simple SHA1 cracking on my GPU. What I did was, I got a fast implementation of SHA1 from the internet, which works perfect in normal C++, but for OpenCL I have to rewrite some things. So I replaced all the memset and memcpy and so on with simple for loops and it still worked. Now, this should work on OpenCL, too, I thaught. God I was wrong!

Somehow the clBuildKernel got executed normally, but when I try to access the returned value (the error code) I get an Access Violation? It just doesn't make any sense to me?

Well I will try some stuff tomorrow again and I will find a solution for sure, but still, until now I just don't understand it.

Just bought a laptop for my grandma. She is a very intelligent person, used to be an engineer and traveled across the globe, but she missed out on the computer revolution. Now she's stuck at home alone and terribly bored, so we will introduce her to the internet to socialize and join our zoom parties.
What advice do you have for someone who has plenty of life experience but is completely new to the internet?

So I got new internet two days ago but I never had time to run a speed test. Ran one this morning and found that I'm getting 113/15mbs when I'm paying for 60/5. Thanks spectrum for using the "median speed is" language instead of "up to" language.

I read books on programming. The thing I most like about programming books is that they allow you to learn about topics that you would have never have thought to explore. When people look things up online, they tend to search very specific things, most times actual code. The internet is an incredible source for developers, don't get me wrong. But books allow you to learn about programming in a conceptual way which in turn will make learning new languages easier and allow your understanding of the languages you already know to be deeper.

I was just watching a web series on X: the generation that changed the world, and damn!! Those X-ers (people born b/w 1961-1981 ) have really made changes that disrupted the whole world! Comparing to them, i feel like we millennials haven't made anything *that* disruptive.

- calculators happened which evolved to computers and then began a crave for knowledge and technology
- Netscape gave a new use to computers
- Tim Berners lee ,napster disrupted the way of sharing data.
- Google changed the way of searching.
- Amazon gave the true business value to internet.
- The revolution of music , hip hop and television.
- ...
(And these are just the first 2 episodes!)

Btw what do we millennials bachieved? Tiktok, heartbreaks, and porn fetishes :/

So instead of crying, what if we create a new open internet? We could call it NettyMcNetface (NMN). 🌐 It'd be free for everybody and open for all content under all existing and new open licences for free and paid content, for personal and business use.

The only hiccup: it must be completely disconnected from the current internet. A complete reboot on a new physical network.

Does article 13 apply to that too?

Oh, and I bet there's already some initiative involving an alternative open network. Any tips?

I don't know about others, but I would love to go back in time and start webdev in the early days of the internet, the idea of starting off in a place where no one knows for sure what we can accomplish with the new tech. Unlike now the small things have been discovered. Honestly I might just be crazy and narrowing my thoughts, but I rather be in the time that we would get excited over a 12mb thumbdrive than to be excited for a 2tera. Back when websites used to use flash unlike the standard "clean and flat" we have now.

I can only imagine how much fun it would've been literally starting out.

Year 2000. I was 6.
One day my parents bought an assembled PC with Windows 95.
That day changed my life, a new passion has born.
I had internet for the first time only 6 years later, in 2006.

Until today I've also had Windows 98, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 8.1 and now 10.

Let's say *poof* Google is banned from the internet and it's 10years later how would the internet look would it be existing services or do you think new ones would arrive.

1. Go to Desktop and create a new folder
2. Name the folder Internet Explorer
3. Change the folder icon to Internet Explorer
4. Keep it in a corner of the desktop

Now, no one will open internet explorer 

My new ISP asked what devices I would be connecting to the internet... "Well let's see here, computers, web servers, tablets, phones, IoT devices, game consoles, MP3 players, smart TVs, robots..."

Bought a new Samsung s7 from the Internet....

....Aaaand it's rooted.

We expanded offices. Management didn't tell me.. just literally "oh we got this new suite, setup a new internet line, and you need to set it all up this morning because we will be working in that space."

Very difficult to do when they won't give you a key...

My job. Working in a small IT department. Web programming most of the day and being able to help people with their phones, software, internet connection, and so on...

The only thing I sometimes wished for were some other devs in my company that would understand me and my problems and with whom I could discuss new technologies.

But now I got devrant. I'll be fine from now on.

I love working on legacy products. You just need a good shower and possibly a therapist after.

- Sensitive data sent over the internet encrypted with DES (not even 3DES). Guess it doesn't matter that the key (singular, for the last decade) is basically 0123456789ABCDEF.

- Client databases with open default port, admin/admin superuser.

- Critical applications (potential for substantial property damage, maybe loss of life) with a single point of failure and without backup.

Suggestions, to slow down a bit with sales, so we have time to rewrite this steaming pile of crap are met with the excuse: be more pragmatist, this is standard industry practice.

Some of this shit can be fixed on my own time if my conscience nags too much, but others would require significant investment of time from multiple developers, which would slow down new business.

Guess the pay is ok, so that's something...

We wish you happy new year 2015! ~ Internet Explorer team!

Software engineering doesn't evolving the way you think of it.

There are no new big patterns. There are no new big concepts and ideas to bring that evolution to us. Rob Pike thinks that the concepts he used twenty years ago are the best possible way of implementing everything and he creates Golang.

The evolution of software engineering, and maybe the whole evolution as a concept is a tick-tock. Software engineering had its latest tick at nineties, when the concepts we call modern were developed. And the latest tock was the rise of the internet, and it given the single-computer-centered Von Neumann architecture really hard challenges. I mean ticks are theoretical inventions and patterns and ideas and etc, while tock is more of some practical, business-oriented implementations.

PHP is still in use. We have troubles with scaling and deployment. Banking systems still run old Java, Windows XP and even COBOL. We had persistence really, really long time ago, and now frontenders reinvent it and call it 'immutability'!

We had our tick many, many years ago. It's time for tock. With not only scientific but commercial use of things such as Clojure, CRDTs and maybe Rust lang, we are heading straight to our new big tock, which'll bring us new great problems to solve.

That's how any evolution goes.

So the company I work at is moving to a new location. We are a small company, so we were all talking about potential problems with the move - network, internet, firewalls, access to servers and so on. Us trying to cover all possible scenarios.

Our CTO looks up and says: “or we could just cross our fingers and hope for best”.

WTF🤯

You know, I read so often about people out there who don't have WiFi or don't have cell service for miles, and until today, I had little considderatoom for how truly tough that can be. I grew up during the cell revolution, but I didn't use smartphones til I was 16. But now that I went to visit relatives in the country, we went over a hundred miles without cell service. Where was I? New York. Now this may sound whiney or petty, but for people who live out here (and especially people in third-world countries), they are missing out on the many benefits of internet access. Connectivity is good. I support it now more than ever.

Hey Guys, I'm starting a new project for iOS. This App is for who have trekking or love to walking in to the woods. It record the positions, altitude and is possible to save your favourite places (with photo and description). There are also an SOS functionality that permit to return at home position (also without GSM or internet connectivity) and to ask for help (I still thinking how this can be done). I've attached first layout made with sketch witch will make it clear what I'll do.

Salesforce lightning web components have such bullshit limitations that they claim is because of security but it's just because it's overengineered garbage.

Want to use web components? Nope.

Want to pass in a value to a function in a click listener expression? Nope.

Want to use scss? Nope, compile it to css yourself.

Want to use the fucking document object? Guess what it's overridden except for very specific third party frameworks.

Who in the fuck thought it was a good idea to override the document object? Your app isn't more secure, literally the entire internet uses the document object and it still becomes available in runtime anyway so what the fuck??

LWC is the biggest garbage I've ever seen, you know a framework's a big red flag when there are developers solely for the framework.

There is a new security release coming out that apparently removes some of these nuances (understatement) so there might be some light at the end of the tunnel.

Apple, please roll out the latest Safari to older iOS versions at last! Don't let it stay the new Internet Explorer making us web developers mad about obscure issues that customers face having to use outdated browsers, overshadowing any joy about your latest achievements.