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Tv hacker: I'll write code to hack their security cameras
2 seconds later
Tv hacker: I'm in
Me: go fuck yourself you fucking fuck34 -
So I was code reviewing this guy's code before merging into the master branch.... and then I FOUND THIS FUCKING CODE, WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What the fuck is this ???
67 -
I’m going to fucking kill my boss.
He’s known about how I’ve been writing this fucking ticket (screwdriver followup) for four fucking weeks, and on the last fucking day (yesterday) he tells me it’s not the correct fucking architecture and to rewrite basically all of it using <unknown bullshit> instead, and that i must have it done by today — by this fucking morning — so it can make the release.
WHY THE FUCK DIDN’T YOU TELL ME ABOUT THIS AT ANY POINT IN THE LAST FUCKING MONTH WHILE YOU WERE BUSY NITPICKING MY FUCKING CODE YOU FUCKING CUNT?!30 -
Was working on a group project.. I ask my partner to give me the code he was working on. Expecting link to repo or at very worst an email
I GET A FUCKING IMESSAGE W 1000+ LINES OF CODE11 -
Fuck you fucking piece of self taught shit. Self taught my ass you dont even know how to use git or how to use modern IDE. You dont even know how to use debugger. You dont read other peoples code because you are an arrogant kid who thinks that everybody elses code is trash. Yet after couple days when you need to work on your own code you usually rewrite entire fucking thing because of how fucked up your spaghetti implementations are. Even worse you dont even know fucking english so documentation is useless to you unless I dumb down everything for you and spoon feed you like a 5 year old. Motherfucker you cant even stick to a proper work schedule, you go to sleep at 7am and wake up at 18.00 and I have to fucking work overtime because Im blocked by your spaghetti code. Fuck you fucking self taught arrogant piece of shit who never ever worked as a dev profesionally yet you have the nerve to feel cocky.28
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Best: actually getting something working out there and having it visited by devRanters! (security/privacy blog)
Worst: rewriting entire applications because my code often fucking sucks2 -
I'm so fucking tired of all these "teach kids to code" and "everyone can code" shit.
It's genuinely not for everyone. Some people are not meant to code, so stop trying to force it down everyone's throat because we're going to end up with a lot of people doing it because of a nice job and shit, not because they want to.
I get many of these programs and shit are to expose people to it and all, but fucking hell stop trying to make everyone fucking programmers23 -
Today is the day I launch on of the biggest projects I worked on.
AND I FUCKING FORGOT TO CODE THE 404 PAGE13 -
When people paste their whole fucking million line noobie spaghetti code into a single Stackoverflow question:
6 -
I am a hobby programmer. I just got rejected by the biggest crush of my life. I guess I'm stuck with my stupid wothless fucking life writing code. How fucking exciting....22
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ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME. I SPEND HOURS INVESTIGATING INCOMING & OUTGOING DATA. I CHECKED ALL THE CODE, I EVEN TEAMVIEWED A CUSTOMER WHICH WAS HAVING SOME ISSUES WITH MY APP.
TURNS OUT I FORGOT A FUCKING '/' IN MY FUCKING CODE. WHICH MEANS THE HOLE GODDAMN API URL MAKES NO SENSE.
WHY THE FUCK DO I ALWAYS OVERCOMPLICATE SHIT LIKE THIS.
FUCK2 -
Watching a tutorial.
* Uses the mouse in order to select and format code, instead of the shortcuts VS code provides
* Does multiple "bool == true"-comparisons
* Doesn't use string interpolation and makes unnecessary .toString() calls
* Adds fucking parentheses around the whole fucking expression he wants to assign
value = (expression)
* Explanations so vague, the EU wants to hire him to reform the internet
Fucking waste of time even on x2.25 speed.10 -
Sometimes looking back at your code for documentation reasons and you really ask yourself "wow, did I make this? this is fucking genius"4
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The level of fucking backflips I have to do to get these morons to learn git and not share code via fucking emails, Jesus Christ, you'd think I asked them to switch religions. Why the fuck does this profession not require a fucking license in this godforsaken country.14
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Fuck me. I just posted a huge post on StackOverflow with images and huge puddles of code everywhere because I had been stuck since yesterday and five FUCKING minutes after asking, I read the code on the website (Pretending to be an outsider solving my own problem) and find the FUCKING TYPO.11
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If you don't format your code correctly in a time where IDE's do it with a fucking shortcut you should boil a kettle, pour it over your useless fucking head, and throw yourself off the nearest building, you absolute useless cunt.5
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Took me 2 fucking days to figure out why the loop wasn't working, biggest facepalm ever.
if(iterator.hasNext()){
// some awesome code
}8 -
Oh my fucking god. This blessed feeling when your code finally works and you can remove all those fucking breakpoints and move on.
These are the moments I became a programmer for2 -
I just changed a bunch of comments, log entries, and removed some blank lines from one of my controllers. Zero functional code changes. Everything worked before; now it runs only half the code, breaks, and throws strange errors.
Fucking hell.
Screw today.6 -
I just fucking despise working on someone else's code and it's filled with errors like "reciever" instead of "receiver" or "mesasge" instead of "message"...
it fucking leads to an astonishing amount of fucking errors just because I know how to write english words AND I'M ITALIAN WTF18 -
Other Dev left just as we hit beta and refactored all his code without documentation... Not even fucking comments...10
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Warning: contains swearwords!
Do you guy's also have coder-"friend" that:
- Always asks how to do things
- ask for code snippets
- steals your fucking code from Anydesk
- steals your passwords while testing
- steals your code from deobfuscated jar
- steals your jar and deobfuscate it
- steals your database to store stolen passphrases
- tries to convince you to build RATs for your users
- tries to convince you to build RATs for his users
- and so on...
??FOR FUCKING REAL THIS ISN'T EVEN ALL THAT HAPPENED TO ME!
HE IS A FUCKING SUCKER CUNT! HE PROMISED ME MULTIPLE TIMES THAT HE DELETED MY PROJECTS AND TELLS ME HE IS STILL USING THEM TO RESEARCH MY CODE FOR HIS CODE!!!
HE FUCKING RECORDED ME WHILE CODING WITH AN API I AM NOT USED TO WHILE I ASK HIM FREQUENTLY BECAUSE I HAVE NO CLUE AND HE THEN SENDS IT TO HIS FRIENDS TO PISS ME OF AND LAUGH ABOUT ME!!
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE WHY THE FUCK ARE ASSHOLES LIKE HIM NOT IN FUCKING PSYCHIATRY!
AND I CAN'T GET RID OF HIM BECAUSE I AM TOO FUCKING NICE!!
FOR GODS SAKE PLS LET A LIGHTNING STRIKE HIT HIM IN HIS FUCKING FACE!
AT FUCKING LEAST I GOT SENT AN IMAGE OF HIS ADDRESS SO I WILL SHIT IN A FUCKING BOX AND SEND IT TO THAT CUNT!16 -
!rant
My girlfriend brought me her laptop at the hospital so I could code. Hello self project.
Rant
It is fucking hard to type while being plugged from fucking everywhere!10 -
Fucking cache in browser made me think that code is still working untill I opened it in incognito.6
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"...the way he has written the code, it feels nasty man. I would have done it this way..."
Fuck you and your feelings. If you think my code is bad, give justification for it. Explain the fucking reason. Stop saying it "feels" like a bad code.
Fucking tired of this mentality in most of the developers. Why is it that the moment you look at someone else's code, you feel like you would have written it better. Programming is problem solving. And you can solve a problem in couple of different way.
If the code is absolute shit, has followed no best practices then yeah, go ahead and call it a bad code. But just because you would have moved some lines here and there, that doesn't mean the other persons code is horrible.
Goddamit!13 -
Wrote 2000 lines of working code last night. All of a sudden teammate who didn't do shit says in group chat:
"You're slow man"
Fucking teamworks5 -
Just finished an OOP course exam.
Writing code on paper? Check.
Useless, deprecated technology questions? Check.
Memorising fucking docummentation by heart? Check.
Term translations from english that make literally 0 fucking sense? Check.
I'm so fucking done with this shit. Uni isn't teaching people anything, it's fucking degrading them, so that when you get a job, you have to start learning from -9001 instead of fucking 0.6 -
Lesson learned from wk111:
We gotta get out of the fucking house more guys and girls!
Go code on a fucking beach or a park or something. Drink some beers and wine. Smoke a couple of joints with good friends.6 -
FUCKING FUCK JAVASCRIPT AND IT'S FUCKING 10000 DEVDEPENDENCIES.
LET ME FUCKING CODE AND WRITE TESTS AND NOT SPEND FUCKING ONE FUCKITY FUCK WEEK TRYING TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO FUCKING MAKE MOCHA AND KARMA PLAY WITH FUCKING ES6 CODE YOU FUCKING FUCKTARD PIECE OF SHIT TECH.
I NO LONGER FUCKING KNOW WHICH PACKAGES I FUCKING NEED AND WHICH I FUCKING DON'T FUCKING DUMBFUCK FUCKWIT OPEN AND HACKABLE MY BROWN ASS PIECE OF TECHNOLOGY STACK.
8 -
FUCKING TELEGRAM FUCK YOU STAY IN YOUR FUCKING API DOCUMENTATION AND STOP FUCKING TESTING YOUR SHIT ON A PRODUCTION SYSTEM WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT FUCK OFF WHY AM I EVEN DEVELOPING SHIT FOR YOUR PLATFORM ANYMORE WHEN FOLLOWING YOUR DOCUMENTATION LEADS TO FUCKING ERRORS AND WE HAVE TO DECOMPILE AND REVERSE ENGINEER YOUR FUCKING "OPEN SOURCE" APPS BECAUSE YOU DONT EVEN BOTHER TO FUCKING UPDATE THE SOURCE CODE ONCE A YEAR WHAT THE FUCK
Thank you for your attention7 -
Once crafted a beautifully executed use of Polymorphism with intuitive interfaces and classes with a concise and loose code just to watch my boss get rid of the interface , because it had no code in it, and fill the fucking code with an ugly switch statement to choose which class to instantiate.5
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Yesterday we started coding with my eldest son, with some board game (based in scratch), and it was so fucking amazing! I'm partial, but he's a fucking code genius!!!
In the game, the child "code" some functionality with cards and the adult (me) compute them 'doing the actions'.
I'm so fucking proud!!! Well, I'm always proud of my children, and there the English language doesn't convey very well my thinking as the verb to be doesn't differentiate the intrinsic state of a subject and a passing state:
SOY TAN ORGULLOSO DE MIS HIJOS!11 -
Got to a client, we are taking over their software dev and IT.
"you're not touching my code ". Listen fuck twit, a robocopy script is not fucking code.
"I wrote a 3500 line code for this company" no fuck twit, you wrote a whole lot of fucking gibberish that looks like someone shat out BASH and it met html along the way. It doesn't compile, it doesn't run, it's a fucking dormant file. You charged people for shit all.
Setting up exchange is also not a big whoop.
Moving them over to CentOS server (he had them on XP still), and writing enough code to qualm my frustration at people.4 -
How the fuck am I expected to salvage a fucking project that has been handed down to me with.
- No fucking clear architecture
- No fucking documentation
- Fucking shitty ass code base with no fucking coding standards
- The previous team was fucking learning a whole fucking new technology stack *Not fucking kidding* making fucking mistakes left and right
- No code reviews
- Mixing fucking local and cloud enviroment together
- No fucking testing
- Feature that were supposed to be implemented and are not working
- No configuration all the stuff are hard coded
- Full responsiblity for the whole stack
- Only one other guy with me
- And this fucking project has been delayed for a year
- MUCH FUCKING MORE WHERE THAT CAME FROM
Like what the fuck am I expected to do? I took the job thinking that people knew what the fuck they were doing and surprise surprise that was a fucking bust.
the problem is also I am the junior and these fucking people have more experience than me, what the fuck happened to over seeing people's work, PM doesnt give a shit, developers dont give a shit nobody gives a shit.
But when I got this surprise surprise now everyone is interested in finishing the project
BULLSHIT11 -
People should fucking document their code. I have to implement something using someone's code. And I have no idea what I'm doing.6
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Me @ people having code trouble : haha, relax! It's not the code's fault nor computers, it just does what you tell it to.
Me @ code giving me trouble : I fucking know code has ancestry and you bring dishonor to yours, fucknuckle.2 -
WTF BOSS?
STOP WRITING THESE FUCKING OBVIOUS SQL INJECTABLE CODE YOU STUPID PIECE OF SHIT!!!
BURN MOTHERFUCKER, BURN!!!3 -
I never made a friend due to code.
Either I fucking hate people if I see their code or I respect them.
But getting a friend because of code seems to me rather unrealistic.
Maybe I could get a female code groupie, if I write code little bit more lovely and sexy.
Ask me again in a year.15 -
This goddamned sewer-tier, rancid-as-fuck code may as well have been shat, eaten, and re-shat by a slug-fucking muck demon.
So fucking vile.1 -
CTO hired mid-level full-stack developer for really complex product we’re building.
Here’s the funny part - he has 2 YEO building on top of freelance dev. code base’s on wordpress… Just fucking yesterday he told me, that Angular 10 framework is simillar to Jquery. Fucking dipshit, his code is so fucking bad it looks like italian sausage made out of spaghetti.
Not sure if I hate him more than ours truly cheapest CTO or him for being ridiculously incompetent and arrogant young asshole.
I’m in charge of him.
Help me.10 -
If you're going to infect your website with a promo-code-banner. And it includes a close/dismiss button..
DON'T PUT A FUCKING LINK ON SAID BUTTON! JUST FUCKING CLOSE THE BANNER AND STOP WASTING MY PIXELS.8 -
Do you know what i hate most?
... commented old code!
What is the fucking purpose to comment old code IF YOU ARE USING A VERSION CONTROL SYSTEM?????
Commented old code is shit, because it fucks the readibility! I saw entire class full of this shit!
DELETE IT, YOU DON'T LOSE IT YOU MORON!!!!5 -
Motherfucker if the project uses Eslint to enforce code standards, please don't start every fucking file with 20 lines of /*eslint-disable*/s
It's there to fucking help you and all the new devs who have to deal with your shitty code. I'm sorry that you're too fucking lazy to make a few small tweaks so that future developers don't have to deal with your sad braindead 1337speak JavaScript
Just use the fucking tool like everyone else, you don't have to fucking disable it so that your sad ego can continue to think you're the Bill Gates of JavaScript7 -
This is next level shit...
My friend in college is always sending me his C code for debugging IN FUCKING .odt!!
He even highlights the syntax.5 -
Finally fixed a major bug.....
FUCK YOU C# AND YOUR FUCKING CASE SENSITIVE BULLSHIT.
DAYS
THAT TOOK FUCKING DAYS AND AT NO POINT DUD VISUAL STUDIO BOTHER TO MENTION THAT FUCKING ERROR.
1 CHARACTER, ON ONE LINE, EFFECTIVELY BROKE THOUSANDS OF LINES OF CODE
fuck this, I quit. See you next time you contact the Microsoft live support chat!13 -
Boss: Any idea why ColleagueX's code might be blowing out the memory?
Me (internal): Cos he's a fucking retard who can't code for shit, doesn't listen when I tell him to do stuff properly because he's fucking lazy, has no idea what stack and heap are, uses goto everywhere, doesn't know how to debug, doesn't write any unit tests, and generally WASTES MY FUCKING TIME!
Me (external): Probably a memory leak. I'll take a look.2 -
That's it, I'm done. My sincere condolences go to the poor soul that will have to maintain this complete and utter crap of code, as I have been doing the past 2 weeks.
3-4 big 4K+ lines files of completely unindented, practically undocumented, interspersed HTML, PHP, JavaScript and CSS! All in the same file.
All the function and variable names are complete nonsense. You might as well have smashed your head against the keyboard and let whatever came out be the names.
You took all the naming conventions that you could find and unleashed your seriously damaged imagination. lowerCamelCase, UpperCamelCase, snakecase, everything in the same fucking function name.
I really needed the money from this project. But I'm done. My mental sanity is more important that try to figure out how to make a decent and usable webpage of THIS COMPLETE DISASTER.
You, the one before me. If you wanted to make sure that no one else besides you could work with this crap, then congrats, YOU FUCKING DID IT WITH HONORS. FUCKING SUMMA CUM LAUDE. PhD and all.4 -
No Microsoft Word, I'm pretty fucking sure it's spelled Git and not Gilt.
#Preparing Code Review Docs5 -
WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU ASSIGNING PROD BUGS WHEN I'M ON A FUCKING VACATION ?!?
Oh wait I wrote that code...
Welp6 -
maybe I'm really pedantic, but I fucking hate people who write code without a consistent form or style... putting spaces or breaks randomly or not at all is SO fucking annoying and I'm wasting time converting it to a more readable form... THEY FUCKING COULD HAVE DONE THAT IN THE FIRST PLACE FOR FUCK SAKE!!
13 -
Same days you just need a duck.
Me: map.get(record.Id)
Code: null
Me: no, map.get(record.id)
Code: null
Me: let's grab this record from the map
Code: null
Me: what the flying fuck, take this fucking ID from this fucking RECORD and find it in THIS god forsaken map.
Code: null
Me:.......
Code: 😉
Duck: did it occur to you the ID exists only AFTER the map is created.
Me: you fucking wha..... oh I'm a dick head.7 -
Self documenting code is a fucking myth you bloody sheep.
Write “self documenting code” then add a fucking comment or two explaining why the fuck the code deserves should be there because nobody can see what the fuck it is doing or understands how the whole collection of microservices works. I’m sick of spaghetti code bullshit full of accidental redundancy because it is impossible for anyone to realize why something is there at a glance.
I renamed different “Contract” classes today by adding numbers before code review.
Contract
Contract1
Contract2
Contract3
All of these classes are supposed to be the same but somehow they aren’t and you self documenting dumbasses missed it. Don’t gripe about the numbered classes in the repo… fix the fucking code and collapse the classes so we don’t have four sections of code describing the same fucking structure from a http get with different interfaces because four people couldn’t read the whole like some fucking computer.11 -
Everytime I'm digging into some random legacy code where no one knows its original intention I'm seeing "Software Archeologist" as a well-paid job sooner or later...
Fucking undocumented legacy code...1 -
Coding while drunk currently in the middle of the fucking day, hopefully I wont regret this tomorrow? Who am i kidding I'm writing brilliant code i should code drunk more often2
-
I'm so fucking stupid. I got a ransomware on my pc and lost all my files. At least the important stuff (code) is safe.21
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Working on some code which relies on a remote api. Then the network speed suddenly drops to 14kbs. FUCKING FUCK FML10
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Why in the goddamn fucking world do I not fucking commit the fucking code every time there is a motherfucking major change10
-
Fuck fucking fuckerty fuck I forgot to backup my projects code appearantly and now at least a week is lost F.U.C.K.6
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Starting to notice a trend that people who don’t write docs and say “the code documents itself” tend to write the worst fucking code imaginable.17
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Being a programmer in a scientific discipline can be infuriating.
using "no one" ="almost no one"
using everyone = "almost everyone"
1. No one knows what even the very idea of good practice is. And everyone refuses to learn. 3k lines of repetitive copy pasted main. 500 lines of plotting method.
2. Raw C-style pointer based array creation. Won't use develope array libraries because what if development stops. FUCKING HAVE YOU SEEN YOUR CODE WHAT IF DEVELOPMENT ON YOUR CODE STOPS. FUCK.
3. LOOP VARIABLES DECLARED AT THE BEGINNING OF THE METHOD WHY.
4. Everyone wants to make modular, independent code. No one wants to use OOP. NOPE. ALL IN ONE FILE. WRITE C++ LIKE A FUCKING PYTHON NOTEBOOK. FUCK.
5. LIBRARIES OH MY GOD PLEASE DO NOT CODE UP YOUR MATRIX MULTIPLICATION. PLEASE DO NOT TRIPLE LOOP IT. NO. THE LINEAR ALGEBRA LIBRARY WILL STAY IN DEVELOPMENT.
6. Please realize that literally not one comment over an 1800 line file does not help anyone.
FUCKING. WHY. WHY ARE WE SCIENTISTS SO GOOD AT SCIENCE AND SO FUCKING SHIT AT THE CODE THAT MAKES OUR SCIENCE HAPPEN. WHY. FUCKING. WHY. FUCK.4 -
I am a fucking software developer and not an IT guy, I write code and if the fucking printer is not connecting, throw it out of the window, that's way better than calling me for help, because one day, I'll do that, and you'll regret...3
-
!rant
just wanted to share with you guys,
instead of spending 1hr writing shitty code to fix a bug quickly, i just spent tha last 10 fucking hours and finally fixed it
I'M FUCKING PROUD OF MY CODE, IT BELONGS TO A MUSEUM8 -
I'm pretty fucking sure that if I were to quit my job, I'd have to gather the fucking requirements, create the fucking user stories, and then JIRA the ever-living fuck out of it before I could submit my fucking resignation.
I just want to write fucking code.3 -
Stuff like this on Friday mornings on the day of code freeze makes you ....
"Fucking throw a monitor at people with such attitudes"😡
-
Fuck this completely abysmal CMS!!!!
Not even god damn Einstein would be smart enough to understand this stinky pile of legacy code!
No, it's not enough to write an HTML template in PHP with less than 500 lines of code, noooooo, every god damn template HAS TO BE AT LEAST 3000 FUCKING LINES OF CODE WITH RANDOM INCLUDES EVERYWHERE!!!
Every fucking thing I fix spawns at least 2 new bugs! I FUCKING CAN'T!!!
I swear, if I meet these fucking worms of developers... someone will eat fresh turds mixed with puke from a highway toilet!17 -
THIS FUCKING RECAPTCHA GEM! WHY THE FUCK MUST I DEBUG YOUR FUCKING PRODUCTION CODE AND WORK AROUND YOUR FUCKING BLUNDERS?
VERY LITTLE PISSES ME OFF MORE THAN SUFFERING FROM SOMEONE ELSE'S FUCKING STUPIDITY5 -
Why do so many online resources still change quote characters in the code for the curly ones? It's 2023, how hard is it to add a fucking rule to skip conversion inside the <code> blocks?9
-
Do you wanna be a software engineer at Google?
Go to AlgoExpert.io. Pick a question. Read the prompt. Write some code…
JUST FUCKING STOP
Fucking shitty ad popping up every time I watch anything even remotely related to tech or science.
13 -
Fuck you google android IME team and fuck their open source policy..
So recently i had a chance to work with AOSP LatinIME code, basically our Android keyboard was forked from very old code base of LatinIME and my job was to change its base version to latest Version available on AOSP repository. Downloaded latest Android 8 codebase. Did 2 weeks of deep investigation of what improvements we will get from upgraded code base.
And I came to know that those Google fucking cunt sucking dick heads deprecated that project and broke the whole thing to a pice of shit. Half of the code is broken with fucked up todo stuff and motherfucking missing method implementation with not implemented warnings. What those motherfucker did is that they abandoned the open-source project after they released Google GBoard, and fucked the stable code by adding quard gram support and dictionary download with multi account features which was never completed by those motherfuckers..
Those misguiding donkey shit fuckers kept a depreciated project in AOSP build tree which has not received a single fucking commit from shitty ass Google IME team, is said to be reference model of Android IME implementation..
What kind of fucking shit is going with open-source code in name of making competition high with thirt party Android keyboard developers ..
Fucking shit fucking ime team .. fuck you .. wasted my fucking time reading your shitty code base .. Fucking shit1 -
Code FUCKING Rape!!! that kids is when companies throw lots of creative and talented programmers / coders / developers at a system and say FIX IT!
-
Bind learning c++ chapter 3
Fuck whoever says that java is easier than c++. If i populate memory i can just fucking clean it out. I have access to the literal fucking stack my code runs on. I can integrate assembly. I can fucking make my program run in -3 seconds for fucks sake, this is so much easier than java where i have to fuck around with scopes to nudge the gc to start cleaning up and i need a separate engine to access jasm code.9 -
Fuck JavaScript, seriously I have spent the last 8 hours trying to build a fucking basic search application that would take me < 1 hour in any other fucking programming language on the planet. I AM FUCKING DONE WITH THIS SHIT. I'd rather pay some dude with a long ass fucking beard who calls himself a "Frontend Engineer" WHATEVER THE FUCK THAT MEANS. Because my backend oriented brain cannot fucking handle all of the frameworks, and modules, and different versions of the same fucking language. Plus its like JavaScript was designed so that you can't not write spaghetti code. FUCK THIS. I'm going back to writing static fucking template code that is used by a fucking backend language that only changes every few fucking years, not every month.
Have a great day. :)4 -
Fucking gnu gettext, fucking .po and .mo files and fuck the fucking poedit. Why in the fucking hell a damn i18n solution used by so many languages doesn't support correctly fucking utf 8 characters in strings inside the code, I mean, WHAT THE FUCK, this is my second day trying to make the fucking Python gettext module to translate the fucking word "está" because I've a fucking big code base programming in Spanish that need to be translated. This is the fucking 2016 and we still have problems with fucking special characters? I mean CMMON1
-
<rant>
Don't fucking tell me to move business logic from the service to the controller. Don't fucking tell me it will enable an "event driven architecture." Don't fucking use Angular for this project if you're just gonna shit on best practices and write convoluted, messy, inconsistent code and force your coworkers to do the same!
</rant> -
The Setting:
Ola Cabs (One of the biggest competitors of Uber, for those who don’t know) comes to college to recruit software devs:
✅ Pre-placement talk
Now time for the aptitude/code round. Hackerearth used as the solution to run the test and compile code, as well as check the result immediately. Or so I thought.
3 programming questions, 2 hours.
The problem:
Me: *Write the code for the first question* (and I know it’s correct)
Me: Clicks “Compile and run”
Compiler: *Compiling*
*LITERALLY ONE FUCKING HOUR LATER*
Compiler: *Still compiling*
Hackerearth. What a fucking joke. Though the course of the HOUR I waited, I kept questioning the recruiter head from Ola and his response was:
Recruiter: “Try the other program, it’s possibly a problem with your code. I’ll check at my backend also, hold on.”
YOU FUCKING DIMWIT. MY CODE IS PERFECT AND EVEN IF IT WASN’T IT WOULDN’T TAKE MORE THAN A MINUTE (If you’re factoring in absolutely worst cases) TO COMPILE THIS SMALL ASS FUCKING PROBLEM’S CODE.
In the meanwhile I even coded one of the other remaining questions’ solution and the shit still didn’t work.
At the end of the 2 hour time limit, I’d finished code for all 3, the recruiter stops us all from coding and says:
Recruiter: “Just submit your code, we will evaluate it and get back to you.”
Like fucking hell, asshole.
*One hour post interview*
EVERYONE who attempted the aptitude code round (At least 30 of us) receive messages on our phones:
“Unfortunately you did not clear the aptitude round and we will not be able to take your application forward.”
FUCK YOU OLA. IN ONE FUCKING HOUR YOU “EVALUATED” ALL OF OUR CODE? FUCK YOU HACKEREARTH FOR YOUR SHIT FUCKING EXECUTION OF A “SOLUTION”. Maybe test your own fucking product before offering a solution to companies.
Fucking lost opportunity.3 -
Ughhhhhh. This fucking code is a disaster! The guy says he built it DRY, but it's WET as fuck! So much fucking repeated code!
I'm annoyed most because I know that it'd be a fucking waste of time to try and rebuild what these guys have built over the past 5 years, but goddamn it, it shouldn't be an excuse to keep on making code like this!
I know that I'm not super experienced in C# but pick up a goddamn book on good coding practices. This thing is a disjointed mess and it never had to get this way.
So many fucking interfaces!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA19 -
Writing code is like writing poetry. You put your soul into it, you create something so beautiful that everyone appreciates it, but no one fully understands it. So comment your fucking code!6
-
Note to self:
Fucking comment your fucking code
So I finally got time to work on an old project and now I can't figure out what does what.6 -
*Client changes products config*
*Client raises issue about his own outcome*
I spent 2 fucking days on code while issue was configuration2 -
It's so fucking hot today, just seriously fucking rediculous. Thinking of taking the laptop to code at the beer garden - will be the only way to get any productivity done.
Thoughts?5 -
i’m so tired of people who are developers that go to every new popular social media platform and try to teach others to code. god fucking dammit. what could possibly going through these people’s minds? do they really think people who want to learn to code think “i want to learn to code so bad. i should scroll mindlessly through instagram/tiktok until i find someone teaching how to code”?
god, if you’d ever uploaded code to tiktok or instagram to teach others to code, you’re a fucking idiot.4 -
just saw a production level code, all the fucking variables in the code are in capital letters🤪😵😵😵2
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Dear fucking good why must I code in VBA in 2017 when there's a perfectly good (and better) alternative?!
I'm considering just porting the fucking code and hang it off.6 -
MOCHA YOU FUCKING BITCH, THERE IS A DONE() CALLBACK BEING CALLED IN THIS TEST, WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM??? I WILL RAPE YOUR FUCKING SOURCE CODE. But really mocha test, why u no work so we can both move on with our lives 😣😦😞7
-
Boss: look we have only VR projects this year. You need to learn Unity.
ME: NO fucking way..... FUCK You unthankful PRICK. I'm not going to learn your fucking unity bullshit after all those backends, mobile apps, code I've wrote for you? I FUCKING HATE UNITY. Time for a new job I guess.13 -
Just spent three hours debugging why a jquery didn't do some actions with a div through its id. MAYBE NEXT TIME I SHOULD CHECK FOR FUCKING DUPLICATE ID'S AND REMEMBER COPYING SOME CODE THE DAY BEFORE WHICH CONTAINED THAT FUCKING ID. GODVERDEGODVERDOMME.1
-
I have to fix a memory leaks of two jest test files of
2 FUCKING THOUSAND
lines of code each.
The End.15 -
When I am asked to do something and the next day same person asks to change what was changed the day before.
For fuck sake do a prototype and fucking change that and not the actual fucking code 😒😒😒 -
This fucking guy create a mess of a code, more than a spaghetti code, a clusterfuck of shit untested spaghetti code, and the project is actually getting well, our customer is getting bigger but everytime there is something to be added, its a fucking pain to add, and when something breaks, almost every thin breaks, and the shitty guy who wrote this code is quitting and its fucking up to me to clean up all the fucking mess, fucking asshole.
DOCUMENT AND TEST YOUR CODE KID, DONT BE A FUCKING SPAGHETTI PROGRAMMER7 -
Anybody remember when we actually spent time writing code instead of debugging the tools? Specially the gazillion of crap that's out there for fucking Java shit?11
-
BANE OF MY FUCKING EXISTENCE. STOP POLLUTING MY PRODUCTION CODE WITH TEST CODE, YOU FUCKING CRETINS.
-
Why should I make my fucking code messier and write some bullshit workaround just because you’re a stubborn idiot who refuses to upgrade your fucking operating system and browser. ARGHGHGGH1
-
So I'm approaching a 8 year anniversary working in IT and this feels like the first time needing to do a serious rant.
Today I've come across some code (infact just a single line) written by another company that is so fucking fundamentally stupid that they should be banned from writing any code ever. Like holy fuck.
This is textbook examples of shit never to do ever in any fucking environment or intranet/extranet etc. What the fuck. The fucking muppetry involved in this. This is what they teach novice programmers - you see this code written 20 years ago? Never fucking do this. You see this company that went bust 10 years ago? It was because of shit like this. Never ever write code like this or your 90kg ass will be thrown 300m by the greatest medieval fucking siege engine ever created after we throw you through the catastrophic gaping hole in time and space that your line of code just created.
Fucking fuckity bye.3 -
Dear mother fucking Hiring Managers,
Just because you are mother fucking fortunate, have a mother fucking proper job , a mother fucking high pay , have mother fucking parents care for you, does not mother fucking mean that you can mother fucking mock those mother fucking not as fortunate as you mother fucking arse!
Some of us carrying family, surviving, we learn how to code without a degree. Just because I have to motherfucking care for my family and pay off the mother fucking loan , it doesnt mean I am mother fucking unless. You mother fucking mother fuckers go fuck your mother fucking mother fuckers is the mother fucking mother fuckers' mothers.
Where's the empathy or politeness? You fucking ridicule people's bad luck, soon your mother fucking arsehole will be one , you bloody mother fuckers!6 -
Why the fuck everything I make breaks in fucking IE. Microsoft just fucking realize its shot software already. I am sick of doing alternative code for your dumb ass broke, non-updating ass, waterfall method fucking ass, software.12
-
Ah, love it when my code doesn't work because it's commented out and I have no fucking idea when I did that :)1
-
It's kinda nice to have a long weekend for a change to work on my endless list of unfinished side projects and code what I want to code, and not having to use fucking Windows 11 on a slow-ass work laptop.
-
"less is more" ... except on a FUCKING STACKTRACE, HOW THE FUCKSHIT FUCK SHITFUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO DEBUG YOUR SHITTARDFUCKED BULLSHIT CODE
-
The Advent of Code is back on... Timezone doesn't help much with leaderboard in my case but I created a private one... join if you like, the code is: 414048-6ec978bd (to join: https://adventofcode.com/2018/...)
The advent is here: https://adventofcode.com/2018/
LETS FUCKING CODE!!!!7 -
Anyone else fucking pissed off by all the shit saying "Learn to Code in 21 Days".
You don't see anyone trying to become a doctor in 21 days so why the fuck do people think our work is so easy that any fucking asshole can do it in 21 days.
Fuck this whole fucking stupid world...23 -
If is funny when you see a code challenge that requieres to reverse and array and you use ruby.
array.reverse! #fucking done5 -
FUCKING PROMISE WONT FUCKING RESOLVE SO MY FUCKING CODE KEEPS FUCKING RETURNING A FUCKING NULL VALUE FOR FUCKING FUCKS SAKE IT REALLY SHOULDNT BE THIS FUCKING HARD TO RESOLVE A FUCKING PROMISE WITHOUT FUCKING CRASHING MY GODDAMN SERVER9
-
honestly some online courses are bullshit. i joined one for some sample code, and no comments, no explanations, the variable names WEREN'T even descriptive.
this is from a website with a published book… how about you take some fucking responsibility for your code?
the language was c++ and they are still using printf! shake my fucking head. you have global variables that are one fucking letter! please, stop, get help.
…AND IT WASN'T EVEN ON GITHUB -
*1 hour passes*
Me: adds new code
*1 day passes*
Me: Why did it work?
*some random weekend*
On call developer: Who fucking wrote this code!4 -
I just fucking hate compiling this fucking C# (ASP.NET) code and then transferring to staging server. Fuck you.....no no no listen to me fuck you and fuck this shit.8
-
The one thing they do not say about low-code tools is how much code you have to write when their undocumented garbage doesn't fucking work.
-
Just going through some old code from git repo's and code examples and I have a message to every dev out there after seeing some of the code quality...
Never... ever... ever fucking give variables with names like vx, tr and sq.
Give your variables names that explain what they are, it is so fucking hard trying to follow code that has 2 letter variable names and there is a special place in hell for you :-)3 -
There was a task of fixing up a payments page that features pretty complex logic. Initially it was like 200 lines of code, seems short but it was a fucking spaghetti mess. Never seen more cognitively complex code in my life.
So I delete the spaghetti and pull out the 500 lines fucking state machine. It works perfectly. It’s perfectly understandable even though it’s longer.
This is how I deal with problems. Shorter code isn’t always better code.4 -
When you change one line of your source code and all of the rest of code don't work any more. Fucking Shit!2
-
How do we feel about documentation?
Fucking lies, lies and more lies.
If you are not going to keep it accurate don’t even fucking write it down you goddamn morons!
I would rather look at the source code then be led down the garden path by your fucking lies.5 -
Wtf computer what do you mean mean it doesn't compile?
"Found : at char (95) expecting key word"
*Inspects code*
... Fucking vim..1 -
Why do teachers tend to not explain parts of their code?
I got some C++ material and example code for doing some rendering, and the material says "these parts are not important".
Guess what? If the whole thing does not compile when i remove the unimportant code, it was fucking important!2 -
Father of a monkey-whoring, succulent dick ass fuck, ever heard of minding your own business? I don't care if you are the FUCKING CFO or whatever the fuck you are, don't fuck with the fucking code. Don't try to come up with your own cum-gargling explanation if an HTTP request results in a FUCKING 503.
You goat-fucking piece of cunt-shit of a fuck. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!4 -
!rant
Learning many new things and churning out good code is so fucking satisfying!
And the best part is: it actually works! 😏🚀1 -
Read the fucking code! Stop asking questions that could be answered if you spent 5 minutes reading the code.5
-
FUCK YEAH! FUCKING HELL FUCK YEAH! IT FUCKING WORKED! THE FUCKING CODE FINALLY COMPILED PROPERLY!
What happened:
I was trying to use the Adafruit Feather HUZZA esp8266 with the AdafruitHTTPClient Library... and it didnt work... then I downgraded THE FUCKING FIRMWARE FROM 2.5.0 TO 2.4.2 AND THE BLOODY THING COMPILED!3 -
What really grinds my gears!?
Fucking wasting my time on code that isn't the actual source of the bug!!! -
populator.call( from
,null
,to
,obj
,srt
);
People writing this kind of code should consider put a bullet in their fucking head.11 -
Ordered some fucking computer glasses (which filter out the blue light). Been having red eyes and excessive fatigue these last months, plus sneaky headaches.
We're in 2018, and fucking delivery companies still think that people are at home waiting for their parcel. They came yesterday, fucking saw I wasn't there, they left a fucking delivery notice when my parcel does not require a signature!! I mean, what's the use of a P.O box if it's only there to host spiders in summer?
Plus on that stupid delivery note they've put a QR code - "please use the given code or scan this QR code to change your delivery options" - which is unreadable, AND they didn't give me the fucking code.
Be flexible for fuck's sake, and evolve with your time. I hate Slowtzerland for that - conservative, late, immuable. Especially in "social" services. 99% of the population is away from home from 6 to 18, time to fucking print that in your brain and get on with it.
Now I might wait until Saturday so I can get them glasses...5 -
Yea sure, I'd like to refactor your fucking 1000 loc spagetti code "module" with no documentation at all...3
-
GOD I FUCKING HATE UNITY AND FUCKING C# SO MUCH
EVERY TIME I TRY TO MAKE IT DO WHAT I FUCKING WANT IT TO IT'S LIKE "mmmmmm nah lmao" LIKE FUCK WHY CAN'T YOU JUST FOLLOW FUCKING 3 LINES OF CODE NO MATTER HOW I PUT THEM OR ORDER THEM YOU BRAINDEAD FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT PROGRAM4 -
We're making reusable rockets and putting cars in space but I still can't pay with my fingerprint instead of a fucking pin code.9
-
Wrote some code. Didn't work.
Cleared all build caches, deleted project files and re-opened the project from scratch. Code still doesn't work.
Copied the same code over to a new project. Works.
I FUCKING HATE DAYS LIKE THESE!!!2 -
I really fucking hate adding Exceptions into code. It's so fucking ugly and I feel miserable sometimes by using because I have to. I'm weird.4
-
I fucking hate Visual Studio!
Don't get me wrong, from time to time I actually enjoy it but not today.
It all went south when I tried to add a new handler to an fucking old asp.net webpage. I had the access the 'Range' headed to stream bits of audio and video files to the client. It was working absolutely fine for the first hour and a half, after that point the fun started...
VS decided that my source code and the binaries won't match anymore. Everytime I tried to add a fucking breakpoint or debug this cunt of an error it would just refuse
The worst part that made me go apeshit was when I finally got a breakpoint and the exception. Some unknown fucking system dll just kept on killing my thread without a proper error message because it's optimized to the fucking moon and back!
Any ideas from the devs here on what's going on and how the fuck I can fix this?6 -
How come your fucking pseudo code is far more complex than python code? You're a fucking university teacher FFS, ALSO TELL ME WHY THE FUCK YOU START YOUR INDEX LIST BY 1.1
-
What other devs fucking hate it when asked to do work in photoshop?
I code get a fucking designer to make it look pretty.2 -
For fuck sake why would you put in documentation some functionalities you did not even develop ?! How am I supposed to guess that my error comes from your code when event the fucking DOCSTRING of the method says the use case is handled ?
It's nice to have documentation and commented code, but could you please make it FUCKING coherent with what the code actually does ? I feel like I'm playing fucking riddles here !!2 -
It works. My code fucking works. It shouldn't. I got tons of errors, I changed to some obscure shit, expecting it to fail, but it fucking works. I should be happy, but I'm mad for not understanding how.3
-
FCUKING SHIT X-FUNCING-CODE! Collapsed code by mistakenly typing the shortcut now I cannot fucking EXPAND IT AGAIN T_T T_T T_T3
-
I wanted to rant like 10 times today but was on a tight schedule (yes its fucking sunday), so here is everything:
*********
Fuck you, i dont give a shit that you need to present data tomorrow, its weekend, you cant just fucking call me to get things done asap. Im working from the code of a dead guy do you know how fucking hard it is to ask a dead person whats their code do?
*********
I really wish devrant had some kinda longboard/skateboard in the profile pic
*********
Im still not a fucking designer i can make like does-not-make-you-barf tier designs, JUST TELL ME WHAT TO FUCKING CODE JESUS
*********
whys the new rick n morty episode not out yet wtf
*********
Yo i love linux but set the fucking privileges right you dipshit, i cant exrcute my damn code on your crappy ass 2008 xeon server fuck you3 -
TEST, TEST AND TEST ASSHOLE
OUR PROJECT IS GETTING BIGGER AND START TEST YOUR FUCKING CODE SO I DONT HAVE TO CLEAN UP THE WHOLE FUCKING MESS
FUCKERS2 -
When my shitty c# code actually fucking worked.
Even changing like, the most simplistic things with a mod for a game is an accomplishment. -
I fucking hate shit/incomplete code tutorials, especially ones that reference old/unmanaged libraries. Fucking waste of time!!!!9
-
I’m so fucking tired of having to work with shitty code day in and day out and not being able to optimize it. I want to quit so bad without having a job lined up… I fucking hate being a developer now thanks to these fucking pieces of shit.6
-
Dreamed about fixing an unsolvable bug in some code that made absolutely zero fucking sense and woke up with a fucking migraine.
-
I can remember a day which I really close to crying why my code doesn't work! Then I remember that fucking line of code should be run async! :/
-
Fucking Java 8 java.time package. I want to kill the damn developers of this useless piece of shit code.1
-
I really just hate Apple development. Xcode blows hard ass and if you are a person like me who has 0 Apple devices and has to go to the fucking school labs to code then why wouldn't you hate apple development. It's really the lack of being able to code outside a fucking Mac cause its just pointlessly limiting, fuck you Apple.13
-
LUA... its great! I love it... but WHY THE FUCK DOESNT LUA START COUNTING FROM FUCKING 0!!! WHY THE FUCK DOES IT START FROM 1! I SEARCHED HALF A FUCKING HOUR IN MY CODE AND IT JUST DIDNT WORK! then it hit me... LUA IS THE ONLY FUCKING LANGUAGE THAT STARTS FROM 1 and sure enough... after changes and testing IT FUCKING WORKED!
Fuck5 -
The problem: callback hell. Code would be indented by three hundred fucking spaces just to do some async work. Your code would end with thirty lines of closing curly brackets
Solution: async and await.
The problem, reborn: NoSQL. Code is indented by three hundred fucking spaces just to run a query. Your query ends with thirty lines of closing curly brackets.4 -
I'm so fucking done with this shit. If someone forgets every git command every single fucking tim le is ok to ask. Every time someone asks advice on how to write a fucking retarded workaround (out of lazyness, because fixing their own code is too much to ask), it'a ok.
The *ONE* fucking time i ask the name of the fucking function to generate a filter via code using their fucking cms? "you should do that via gui!" "who cares if there'll be conficts with git, just manually redo everything in production!".
God fucking dammit how can you even have the balls to complain about terrible planning and stuff not working if that's your fucking mantra?!2 -
// Hairy ass complex logic
if(1 == 2) { ... }
If only the programming language had a built-in syntax for commenting out code, you fucking cumdumpster idiot.1 -
Does anyone else include greek letters in their JavaScript variable names just to fuck with co-workers?1
-
Fucking Mess!
Apparently my code flunked during deployed cause some retard didn't pull the code and made his commit. Unfortunately this was after I MADE MY COMMIT.
noobs! -
I fucking hate people who want to "perfect" his shit before push his code. Yes damn right. That means he doesn't fucking push his code until it's too late and his "perfect" shit will break everything. Not to mention the cry face he has when there are shitload of conflicts.
-
New year old me
Fucking Windows
"You have written a lot of code lately it would be ashame if I just crash"
*Bluescreen*
"Configuring updates"
Fuuuuuuuuuccccckkkkkkk
Luckily I saved my code5 -
How about for once in your fucking life, before saying that my code is wrong because it is giving you errors, you fucking check to see if you have the semicolons in place
-
I have a single WinForm class, stuffed with all the logic it needs. 11k fucking lines of fucking nightmare code!!!4
-
Coding is like handwriting.
Code review is about having a common understanding of the big picture and ensure be features follow the general architecture and process flow.
Code review is not about nitpicking on FUCKING TRAILING WHITEFUCKINGSPACES , lower case vs upper case SQL statements, extra empty lines AND EVERY FUCKING MINOR DETAIL you can imagine18 -
Have to change out the audio player on a WordPress site for a podcast. Can't follow the code properly because wp forgets that standards are a thing. Code readability is shit as well. Fucking WordPress.6
-
> push code on staging and promote on production works fine
>.come home
> pull from master and code doesn't work locally
> pull from the feature branch, same issue
> fml
I'd be so fucking disappointed in myself if I hadn't pushed it and merged it. -
How the fuck am I supposed to code and attend meetings with a broken heart?
Relationships are the fucking pits.2 -
Yeah he was officially free today but he still managed to come a couple of hours. Fucking asshole go fix your fucking code damn idiot. This whole site is broken. Thanx mr wannabe a leaddev. Hope you crash with your damn racecar2
-
Ok I fucking give up, does anyone know of any tutorials on adding custom languages and syntax highlighting to VS code, I followed what little readable documentation overlord Microsoft has given and still no fucking clue, help!3
-
A senior dev wrote spaghetti code containing business logic in the fucking controller with some code repeated in a couple of other places.
This is when a facepalm is not enough.1 -
When your code won't fucking work ... Its because you need light chacra reset with a light worker for only 70$ 😆 wtf messenger shut the fuckup
2 -
Fuck you Android ! Why the fuck does making my fucking status bar transparent has to be more difficult than launching a mars mission with a team of chimpanzees. I have been trying everything from xml styles to fucking java code but the status bar won't take the tint. Been at this fucking shit for 2 days3
-
"Code"
And the website says "Lonely geeky people do need apply"
So I put my on my glasses and I went in to ask him why
He said you look like a fine outstanding young man, I think you'll do
So I shook his hand and, I said "I am glad I will be working for you."
Code, code, everywhere there's code
Neo vision, tweakin' my mind
Do code this, and API that, can't you read the fucking manual
And the sign says "If you want to use this site you must accept our cookies"
So I found the CEOs address and doxxed him all night!
To put up a dialog and block content from my sight.
If Todd was here, he'd tell it to your face, man, "it just works"
Code, code, everywhere there's code
Neo vision, tweakin' my mind
Do code this, and API that, can't you read the fucking manual
Oh, say now mister, can't you code
You got to have a laptop and a hoodie to get a job
You can't work, no you can't standup, you ain't supposed to be here
And the website says "You got to have an employee ID to get inside" - yo!
And the website says "Everybody welcome, come in, code and share"
But then they passed around a git pull at the end of it all
And I didn't have a character to code
So I got me laptop and I made up my own fuckin' code
I typed, "Thank you OSS for thinking 'bout me, I'm alive and doing fine", yeah
Code, code, everywhere there's code
Neo vision, tweakin' my mind
Do code this, and API that, can't you read the fucking manual
Code, code, everywhere there's code
Neo vision, tweakin' my mind
Do code this, and API that, can't you read the fucking manual
Yes! Some old song, called "Code code", I wish we did write that one, but
We didn't - git blame!
Hello World!6 -
Been debugging a sp in oracle from 2 days a fucking sp of 2000 lines to see why it was not not giving desirable result. Turns out a fucking variable had a null value which was always satisfying the greater than condition an fucking up the flow. The fucking sp is being used since ages and nobody fucking noticed i mean what the actual fuck. And also the fucking indentation of the code how the fuck are u supposed to know which if ends where i mean come on put some fucking comments to your fucking code if u are gonna make it like it is gonna be the ultimate fucking sp which is being used god only know how many places.
-
i am terrible at using swagger autogenerated code, yaml and swagger files
dont fucking false positive pass, tell me if theres indenting wrong
also why the fuck wont you generate the code im trying to get you to generate
i fucking hate you so much, ive done this once before what am i doing wrong now -
It's fucking 14th already in India. People are already celebrating valentine's day and shit on Facebook. And here I am raising for code review on fucking Crucible with half a thumb tip missing.
Motherfucking fuck my life.
I just want to go to the fucking roof and scream my lungs out. Fuck!!!2 -
Someone save me from this fucking stupid corporate web based trainings and let me focus on more important shit like re-factoring my code (ohh joke) and/or writing something more code then going what i just mentioned above.
-
Anyone else have the ritual of searching for curse words in code prior to committing & pushing your changes?8
-
Why the hell did you put the promo code field on the login form? What type of fucking eCommerce site are you?4
-
So after 5 days of trying to figure out why the fuck nemID (danish online id) is a piece of shit and doesn't want to show the pdfs I'm sending, so that they can be fucking signed, I've finally found a way to produce pdfs that it doesn't choke the fuck out on.
Just fucking open the fucking pdf in fucking Acrobat and fucking print it to a fucking pdf using fucking Microdick print to pdf... TWICE! WTAF?
So guess what I'll be creating an API for today...
Also fucking give me a proper error code when your shit doesn't work! Why the fuck are you sending me an error code stating that the checksum doesn't match, when 1) I didn't fucking send you one in the first place and 2) it doesn't work because you fucks didn't implement the entire fucking pdf spec! So when my fucking pdf contains some fucking pdf-element that you decided was to hard to implement a web view for, tell me that!1 -
I thought my code was bad and that was why it was taking twice as long as any other group to run
No it’s just Illinois the state my group was assigned has almost 2000 more data rows to scrape compared to any other group. My code wasn’t running slow. It just had longer to run
I’ve spent 4 days trying to fucking refactor and improve my code Ignoring clean code and attempting clever code to run faster and now I need to revert back to clean code since no one else in my group would be able to understand or work on the damn file if I left it at clever
Fucking hell 😫1 -
As if I fucking care if you have to add another parameter to my function call. Just because you think it's easier, does not mean its more usefull.
It's inconsistent as F U C K
You code IS spaghetti code. Your logic is closer a maze on a fucking one way street and I don't fucking care if it works. It's a pain1 -
Rewriting some fractal generation code for a client in Python. his original code was in Visual Basic. he sent me his original code as a fucking Microsoft Word document...............
-
When you play on lagacy shit spaghetti monster code with a fucking ass crack boss don't understand anything and bullshit you (yaya that code is perfect) !
I just want to drop that fucking job full of shit
Week 2 😂🤣😭 8 months come2 -
Lesson learned from my previous rant:
https://devrant.com/rants/2059047/...
CPU bottleneck spotted. Time to fix some shit.
nvidia-docker vs native code execution brings around 10% performance decrease so far.
-
decimal discount = line.Discount - (line.StandardPrice - line.CustomerPrice);
2 fucking hours working out what and why the fuck this line of code. Fml -
Jesus Fucking Christ can you just guess what the code is doing instead of me feeding it to you like a fucking baby. TRY TO HAVE SOME SORT OF INTUITION DAMNIT I’M TRYING TO HELP YOU SO YOU DON’T LOOK LIKE A DUMBASS.2
-
Its normal if i drop some eyedrop at my new job ? My boss don't know anything of is network ... Cannot help me with noting no code no net... All the code is done already is a deep shit full of breach im fucking solo in a room face a brick wall no window ! Can i stay for 10 month at this place ?
Need to coding but have no cluse how to connect to a fucking database no user no password ...
Its the fucking hell here 👿😢3 -
I just spent around a fucking week questioning myself, my sanity, my code and a 3rd party api to find out I was submitting bad data to my correct code in a separate part of the product.
Fuck my life and my self inflicted stress and guilt over this. Hopefully edge cases are already covered, I fucking had working code or so i hope until the next bout of debug hell.
Also fuck you spring for not letting me see request body of an outgoing post request. -
Motherfucking middle fucking mouse button paste always fucks up the fucking code and it's too fucking late when you realise it.6
-
Got a full stack job in a really large org. They write shit code and refuse to comment on code saying the code should explain itself.
And I’m like yeah but if you’re writing spaghetti code at least fucking comment why.
The new job’s pay is like 2x my old job so it’s really fucking good pay but my brain is melting from frustrations with these devs.4 -
And why is symfony so fucking slow? Well I guess it has something to do with depending on code annotations for everything, or every simple task requiring a whole cloud of a thousand classes, stupid design decisions....I fucking hate symfony, piece of shit software
-
Look, dude, I'm a busy man. Can you please not waste 15 minutes of my FUCKING time on your misunderstanding of code I FUCKING wrote? Code I wrote, apparently wrong, based on your SHITTY naming?
Christ alive, stop getting in my god damn way. -
Urgh why do code generators write the worse fucking code! Jesus$fucking$christ$what$is$your$god$dam$problem$1
-
It's about time we speak of enlightenment. Abide by it and all your problems will be solved--except your FUCKING code.2
-
getting tons of fucking merge conflicts on rebasing remote branch with current master because that mockerfucking code review is still pending
-
Seems like there is a GHOST in my office, my code was working on friday, and now , the fucking seg faults
-
It is fucking annoying to do changes in someone else js and ts code... Always give some bullshit thing for which you have only one response kiss my piss IDIOT CODE.....
-
GDB&Code::Blocks got drunk together and this is apparently normal now. For like an hour already.
I DIDN'T RUN ANY FUCKING CODE IN BETWEEN THESE COMMANDS WTF IS THE DEBUGGER DOING ????
3 -
If you have to fucking complain about how people are creating too many issues on your repo and why the internet needs to stop bothering you for your code, just privatize the fucking repo or delete it. For fucks sake, it’s probably for the betterment of the internet to not waste our time trying to get your shitty fucking code to work. Your repo is trash. Nobody has time to read the 5000 issues that detail the lore and history of your piece of shit project. Just fucking close it, stop trying to hold on to shitty stuff.11
-
So fucking today i wanted to test netbeans ide..installed, no problem..then i wanted to compile code an it said fucking error ,netbean connector and google chrome? Wtf do i need this shit ?!4
-
Bleh, I fucking hate Arduino. I thought this Chad would teach me assembly for PCs, not Arduino. The boards don't fucking work half the time, I don't give a shit about blinking lights or motors, I don't want to do things with robotics, I just want to fucking code. Ffs, I'd rather write code that just makes a number increment and then quits, because then I wouldn't have to use that useless fucking Arduino "IDE".
Fuck you Arduino, fuck you so much.4 -
def longVariableNamesEverywhere(*args):
"""
Not a substitute for docstrings and code comments.
"""
#TODO: insert witty and legible code.
#TODO: learn to read code.
return "Rant and self-deprecation complete."4 -
Fucking code!
Shit, Symfony.
I had trouble creating a bundle. It's necessary to install composer!
Finally, I succeeded! -
I get why people like to split code in multiple files for maintainability but its a fucking nightmare if you want to understand code and you have to go from file to file to file to find the origin of 1 API-Call.1
-
Fuck JSF! Like seriously! And fuck my internet technologies prof for making us code this horseshit on fucking paper in the goddamn examn! Seriously go fuck yourself and your medieval technologies with a rusty Russian submarine! FUCKING HELL!
-
Typescript is so fucking frustrating sometimes to deal with
The snippet above AND below do the EXACT SAME FUCKING THING. But because you double tap, it loses the fucking (not needed) type before the mapTo. If you aren't paying attention, you get this extremely fucking aggravating wall of red.
God damn it, can't this be better? RxJS is pretty fucking important, so why is this so god damned hard to just get some coherent fucking code highlighting!?
/rantover
4 -
Anyone looking for shitty code practices take a look at the Emotiv API. The way they have written sample code should be mode illegal.
I fucking hate reading through such a shitty peace of sample code. -
I didn't know that "Ctrl + Alt + L" can be runned over whole project, selecting main dir in PhpStorm. Goodbye fucking WordPress code style in templates etc. 😊
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