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Search - "as"
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4am
"I need to brush my teeth before going to sleep 😵"
*goes to bathroom*
*washes hands*
*goes to bed*
1minute of heavy processing later
"FUCK"7 -
Windows: Copying 2,513 items from <here> to <here>.
Me: OK.
Windows: 84% complete.
Me: OK.
Windows: Shit.
Me: What?!
Windows: "Copying" dialog box is not responding.
Me: Fuck you.
Windows: Well, yeah, sorry.
Me: Fuck you.
Windows: Do something else until it unfreezes.
Me: OK.
.
.
.
Me: Fuck you. Everything's stuck. Can't click anywhere.
Windows: You can still use your mouse, though.
Me: Yeah, I guess. Wait a second, it's also stuck. The whole thing is frozen as ice.
Windows: What about keyboard?
Me: I said, THE WHOLE FUCKING THING!
Windows: Well, sorry?
Me: FUCK YOU!!20 -
Four months ago changed a laptop failing hdd and give it back to customer. Today I got a 30 minutes call because the computer "is not like before the repair, it doesn't work well".
*Thinks* Well, s#*@, before the repair the hdd had more than 2000 damaged clusters, which prevented even the os to start
*Says* "Could you describe me the issue?"
....
...
[ basically he was saying that since he started using IE as a browser, he didn't have Google.com set as the first page and that he had to bing it]
...
"When did the 'issue' start, If I may ask?"
>"Two weeks ago. "
Two weeks ago.
Two f*""#ng weeks ago.
Set aside for the nature of the issue, you blame my four months ago repair for a two weeks ago issue?
"The computer was better before"?
THAT F###ING MACHINE WAS LIKE A BURNING HOUSE - I RESCUED DATA FOR 2 DAYS JUST BEFORE THE HDD STARTED TO CRANK AT EVERY SPIN - I REBUILT IT TO GIVE IT YOU BACK FULLY WORKING AFTER YOU USED AS A FOOTBALL, AND NOW YOU BLAME ME BECAUSE THE
BROWSER ISN'T SETTED AS YOU LIKE
No,seriously, is like I rebuilt a burned house from scrap and now the owner blames me because in the kitchen sink the hot water tap is on the right side instead of the left side.
Seriusly, wtf.6 -
Things have been a little too quiet on my side here, so its time for an exciting new series:
practiseSafeHex's new life as a manager.
Episode 1: Dealing with the new backend team
It's great to be back folks. Since our last series where we delved into the mind numbing idiocy of former colleagues, a lot has changed. I've moved to a new company and taken a step up as a Dev manager / Tech lead. Now I know what you are all thinking, sounds more dull and boring right? Well it wouldn't be a practiseSafeHex series if we weren't ...
<audience-shouting>
DEALING! ... WITH! ... IDIOTS!
</audience-shouting>
Bingo! so lets jump right in and kick us off with a good one.
So for the past few months i've been on an on-boarding / fact finding / figuring out this shit-storm, mission to understand more about what it is i'm suppose to do and how to do it. Last week, as part of this, I had the esteemed pleasure of meeting face to face with the remote backend team i've been working with. Lets rattle off a few facts to catch us all up:
- 8 hour time difference to me
- No documentation other than a non-maintained swagger doc
- Swagger is reporting errors and several of the input models are just `Type: String`
- The one model that seems accurate, has every property listed as optional, including what must be the primary key
- Properties go missing and get removed at the drop of a hat and we are never told.
- First email I sent them took 27 days to reply, my response to that hasn't been answered so far 31 days later (new record! way to go team, I knew we could do it!!!)
- I deal directly with 2 of them, the manager and the tech lead. Based on how things have gone so far, i've nick named them:
1) Ass
2) Hole
So lets look at some example of their work:
- I was trying to test the new backend, I saw no data in QA. They said it wouldn't show up until mid day their time, which is middle of the night for us. I said we need data in our timezone and I was told: a) "You don't understand how big this system is" (which is their new catch phrase) b) "Your timezone is not my concern"
- The whole org started testing 2 days later. The next day a member from each team was on a call and I was asked to give an update of how the testing was going on the mobile side. I said I was completely blocked because I can't get test data. Backend were asked to respond. They acknowledged they were aware, but that mobile don't understand how big the system is, and that the mobile team need to come up with ideas for the backend team, as to how mobile can test it. I said we can't do anything without test data, they said ... can you guess what? ... correct "you don't understand how big the system is"
- We eventually got something going and I noticed that only 1 of the 5 API changes due on their side was done. Opened tickets. 2 days later asked them for progress and was told that "new findings" always go to the bottom of the backlog, and they are busy with other things. I said these were suppose to be done days ago. They said you can't give us 2 days notice and expect everything done. I said the original ticket was opened a month a go *sends link* ......... *long silence* ...... "ok, but you don't understand how big the system is, this is a lot of work"
- We were on a call. Product was asking the backend manager (aka "Ass") a question about a slight upgrade to the new feature. While trying to talk, the tech lead (aka "Hole") kept cutting everyone off by saying loudly "but thats not in scope". The question was "is this possible in the future" and "how long would it take", coming from management and product development. Hole just kept saying "its not in scope", until he was told to be quiet by several people.
- An API was sending down JSON with a string containing a message for the user with 2 bits of data inside it. We asked for one of those pieces to also come down as a property as the string can change and we needed it client side. We got that. A few days later we found an edge case and asked for the second piece of data to be a property too. Now keep in mind, they clearly already have access to them in order to make the string. We were told "If you keep requesting changes like this, you are going to delay the release of the backend by up to 2 weeks"
Yes folks, there you have it, the most minuscule JSON modifications, can delay your release by up to 2 weeks ........ maybe I should just tell product, that they don't understand how big the app is, and claim we can't build it on our side? Seems to work for them
Thats all the time we have for today,
Tune in for more, where we'll be looking into such topics as:
- If god himself was an iOS developer ... not
- Why automate when you can spend all day doing it by hand
- Its more time-efficient to just give everything a story point of 5
- Why waste time replying to emails ... when you can do nothing instead
See you all next week,
practiseSafeHex14 -
I greeted my staff this morning with the phrase
"Morning, mind if I ruin your Friday?"
They laughed, but won't be soon enough. The task we've been working on for weeks, ripping apart the codebase changing it to work a different way, fixing a tonne of bugs, making it faster and simpler to add features too. Well business has decided they want us to stop, undo it, spend a month on something "with higher ROI" and then finish it off after that.
Business are expecting this to have no impact on any of the timelines and just to be like flipping a switch. Now obviously I won't let that happen and fight back for more time, but yet another session of compromises, arguments, and yelling. YIPEEE!!!!!!12 -
After finishing up 70% of a feature,
Brain: "there's a better way to do it"
Me: "ok ill just change a bit of code here and there.."
-- 2 hours later --
swimming in spaghetti code..7 -
Was coding so nicely, then I accidentally kicked the power strip and turned off my machine... Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!!!!!!!8
-
Welcome back to practiseSafeHex's new life as a manager.
Episode 2: Why automate when you can spend all day doing it by hand
This is a particularly special episode for me, as these problems are taking up so much of my time with non-sensical bullshit, that i'm delayed with everything else. Some badly require tooling or new products. Some are just unnecessary processes or annoyances that should not need to be handled by another human. So lets jump right in, in no particular order:
- Jira ... nuff said? not quite because somehow some blue moon, planets aligning, act of god style set of circumstances lined up to allow this team to somehow make Jira worse. On one hand we have a gigantic Jira project containing 7 separate sub teams, a million different labels / epics and 4.2 million possible assignees, all making sure the loading page takes as long as possible to open. But the new country we've added support for in the app gets a separate project. So we have product, backend, mobile, design, management etc on one, and mobile-country2 on another. This delightfully means a lot of duplication and copy pasting from one to the other, for literally no reason what so ever.
- Everything on Jira is found through a label. Every time something happens, a new one is created. So I need to check for "iOS", "Android", "iOS-country2", "Android-country2", "mobile-<feature>", "mobile-<feature>-issues", "mobile-<feature>-prod-issues", "mobile-<feature>-existing-issues" and "<project>-July31" ... why July31? Because some fucking moron decided to do a round of testing, and tag all the issues with the current date (despite the fact Jira does that anyway), which somehow still gets used from time to time because nobody pays attention to what they are doing. This means creating and modifying filters on a daily basis ... after spending time trying to figure out what its not in the first one.
- One of my favourite morning rituals I like to call "Jira dumpster diving". This involves me removing all the filters and reading all the tickets. Why would I do such a thing? oh remember the 9000 labels I mentioned earlier? right well its very likely that they actually won't use any of them ... or the wrong ones ... or assign to the wrong person, so I have to go find them and fix them. If I don't, i'll get yelled at, because clearly it's my fault.
- Moving on from Jira. As some of you might have seen in your companies, if you use things like TestFlight, HockeyApp, AppCenter, BuddyBuild etc. that when you release a new app version for testing, each version comes with an automated change-log, listing ticket numbers addressed ...... yeah we don't do that. No we use this shitty service, which is effectively an FTP server and a webpage, that only allows you to host the new versions. Sending out those emails is all manual ... distribution groups?? ... whats that?
- Moving back to Jira. Can't even automate the changelog with a script, because I can't even make sense of the tickets, in order to translate that to a script.
- Moving on from Jira. Me and one of the remote testers play this great game I like to call "tag team ticketing". It's so much fun. Right heres how to play, you'll need a QA and a PM.
*QA creates a ticket, and puts nothing of any use inside it, and assigns to the PM.
*PM fires it back asking for clarification.
*QA adds in what he feels is clarification (hes wrong) and assigns it back to the PM.
*PM sends detailed instructions, with examples as to what is needed and assigns it back.
*QA adds 1 of the 3 things required and assigns it back.
*PM assigns it back saying the one thing added is from the wrong day, and reminds him about the other 2 items.
*QA adds some random piece of unrelated info to the ticket instead, forgetting about the 3 things and assigns it back.
and you just continue doing this for the whole dev / release cycle hahaha. Oh you guys have no idea how much fun it is, seriously give it a go, you'll thank me later ... or kill yourselves, each to their own.
- Moving back to Jira. I decided to take an action of creating a new project for my team (the mobile team) and set it up the way we want and just ignore everything going on around us. Use proper automation, and a kanban board. Maybe only give product a slack bot interface that won't allow them to create a ticket without what we need etc. Spent 25 minutes looking for the "create new project" button before finding the link which says I need to open a ticket with support and wait ... 5 ... fucking ... long ... painful ... unnecessary ... business days.
... Heres hoping my head continues to not have a bullet hole in it by then.
Id love to talk more, but those filters ain't gonna fix themselves. So we'll have to leave it here for today. Tune in again for another episode soon.
And remember to always practiseSafeHex13 -
This is why one shouldn't code in more than one language a day. Basically spent almost 15 minutes to find out why it wasn't working.10
-
I might have posted this before. But I am going to post it again. Because emojis.
Me: 😁 Software lead I have finished coding the thing.
SL: 😀 Cool, good job. That is going to really help out the analysts.
Software Manager: 😐 hey I noticed you have coded a new thing and pushed it to integration.
Me: 😁 Yes.
SM: 😐 Well how do you know when it's done?
Me: 😑 . . . When you run it and it does the thing?
SM: 😐 Did you write test steps?
Me: 😕 Yeah . . . they're in the issue ticket.
SM: 😐 Yeah but how do you know those are right?
Me: 😕 Because I wrote the thing and the test steps?
SM: 😐 did you put any steps in our acceptance test procedure?
Me: 😕 No.
SM: 😐 why not?
Me: 😧 Because the acceptance test procedure tests requirements. There is no requirement for this functionality.
SM: 😑 Then why did you do it?
Me: 🤔 Because it was an internal request from the analysis team. There is no customer impact here.
SM: 😑 I really think we should write a requirement.
SL: 🤔 But what requirement is he going to attach this to?
SM: 😑 We don't have to attach it to a requirement. We can just test it once and remove it.
Me: 😒 SM, you know we never remove anything from the acceptance test procedure.
SM: 🙂 We do sometimes.
SL: 🤔 When was that I have worked here for twenty years and we have never removed a test from that document.
SM: 😑
SL: 😒
SM: 😑
SL: 😒
Me: 🤐
SM: 😧 I really think there should be an acceptance test written.
SL: 😧 Looks like you're writing an acceptance test.
Me: 😒 Alright as long as y'all're payin'. Shit I was just tryin' to save y'all money.
*acceptance test written and sent to peer review*
Peer: 😐 The requirement tested section doesn't have any requirements spelled out.
Me: 😅 No.
Peer: 🤔 Why?
Me: 😓 Because there is no requirement associated with this test.
Peer: 🤔 Then why are we adding an acceptance test?
Me: 😡 WELL AIN'T THAT A GOOD GOD DAMN QUESTION!?6 -
Living in a tiny house and having a remote-only job (and no lappy) means I get the wonderful, lovely privilege of working in my bedroom... with my 18mo (who will not leave me alone), and my girlfriend (who won't fucking leave). It's positively great!
Blasting music is often not enough to drown out the sound, and certainly does nothing for getting hit with toys or screamed at to get picked up, so I get basically nothing done during the day. And that's presupposing I'm not begged to run errands/go to lunch with her, both of which take precious hours. (She won't take the baby out alone, so she's always here unless we find a babysitter)
At least it's quiet after 9pm, so I stay up coding for as long as I can. But 18mo's wake up super early, and the girlfriend prefers to stay in the room until I'm up... so even with earplugs I don't get enough sleep. A monster a day and a bottle of Tito's vodka a month is all that keeps me sane.
Why can't I just be fucking left alone to fucking work? I'm our only goddamn source of income.
It's no wonder we're fucking broke.
And to make matters worse, I'm being downsized... and considering the above, I doubt I'll be able to land a new job. 😡15 -
During the entire afternoon we had a ridiculously low amount of tickets.
Suddenly 'is this the real life, or is this just fantasy' popped up in my head.
😆14 -
I... uhm... I... I can't... I ... I can't even.... THIS IS LIVE IN THE CLIENT'S SITE WHERE ANYONE CAN CREATE A LOGIN WITH NO VERIFICATION WHATSOEVER AND SEE THIS WHICH IS LINKED TO A BIG RED BUTTON THAT RESETS THE WHOLE DATABASE, YOU FUCKING DUMB PIECE OF SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
// This event clears the entire solution in all active clients, truncates the database and also removes any stored PDFs in the server folder
$(document).on('click', '#resetDB', function () {
// This event only happens if the user correctly enters the password, this is to prevent other users than the admin from performing this action
var answer = prompt("Please enter the password required to perform this action.");
if(answer == "-REDACTEDBECAUSEHOLYSHIT-") {
socket.emit('resetDB');
} else {
alert("The password is incorrect, please try again!");
}
});
AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!111!!1!!11!1!!1!1one!one!!!11
(I'm not inventing this, even though the "site" is internal only and not accessible through the web. That does *not* make it any less stupid!)11 -
What a day and what an achievement!!!
Today ladies and gentlemen I broke my record for number of passive aggressive “as per last email” comments, in a single email.
I now stand at 11
Today is a great day and I’d like to thank everyone not reading my emails who got me to this point. You guys are the real record holders!5 -
Had a follow up meeting today to resolve the issue of Product ignoring our comments about possible issues, better ways to do it etc.
New rules:
- We are allowed to suggest to Product that they might be doing something wrong
- We are not allowed to tell product they are doing something wrong
- If Product don’t listen, that’s fine, we will document our comments to protect us later.
Conclusion:
Product are too sensitive to have a conversation with. We are now going to let them fuck everything up, make some notes and say “I told you so” at a later date.
Maturity at its finest ladies and gentlemen.5 -
!rant
This dumb pretentious bitch.
We are both computer science students, she is writing her bachelor thesis, I'm in 4th semester, but have 6 years of professional programming experience.
So naturally when she had a problem implementing the MOTHERFUCKING PREPARING SOFTWARE, which she needs to begin writing her thesis I helped her.
First I started explaining every last bit of code, trying to teach her something, so that she wouldn't need my help ALL the time.
After a while I realised that this BLOODY GIRL FROM HELL acquired nearly half her credits by other peoples help, so I just fix the code hoping it would be over soon.
When that software was done, keep in mind, I coded nearly 90 FUCKING PERCENT OF THAT SHITTY ASS PIECE OF CRAP SOFTWARE, she asked me to also "help" her implementing a generator for samples she could test the software with.
Naturally at this point I said I'd be busy with own projects etc. And declined.
So now, nearly 1 Month after she didn't talk to me, THAT ARROGANT PIECE OF SHIT WANNABE SCIENCE BACHELOR asked if I could help her with LaTEX.
At first I was speechless. How could she have that amount of balls, asking me that. As I only am a ranting asshole inside, I declined in the most polite way.
WHAT THE FUCK! I HOPE YOU WILL FAIL YOUR THESIS AND ALL THE 12 SEMESTERS YOU STUDIED WILL HAVE BEEN FOR NOTHING, THUS SENDING YOU TO LIVE ON THE STREET WITHOUT MONEY AND DIE A HORRIBLE AND LONELY DEATH SURROUNDED BY BEGGERS TRYING TO STEAL YOUR KIDNEYS!
Sincerely,
Me.14 -
Hey fellow devs,
I'm proud to say, that today I've passed my final step/exam of my apprenticeship.
So now I'm officially an IT-Specialist - Software Development or "Fachinformatiker für Anwendungsentwicklung" in german.
I'm so fuckin' relieved and happy that this chapter is now finally closed and the real fun can begin!
My new job - indeed the old one with 4x payment and just a 32 hour week instead of a 40 hour one.
Now I will cheer and drink as much whiskey I can find out there! :D
PS.: This baby (pic related) was my presentation device today. One member of the commission had to laugh, a ranter as it seems! ;)16 -
When you're so tired that you forget to put coffee in the coffee maker and get a cup of hot water instead.3
-
follow on from my last rant.
I've finally gotten my new Jira project. Only thing I seem to have access to change is the Kanban board columns. Still has 50+ fields when creating a ticket etc.
Asked the support team handling the request if this was a mistake. He said no, i'll need to open another ticket to have those changes requested.
Opened and got a reply. Currently there are 2 versions of Jira running. They are working on consolidating them atm and won't help me right now until this is done. I've been asked to re-open my request after the consolidation is done in March 2019.
5 ... fucking ... months, so I can have a competent ticketing process.
He pointed me to a page explaining the move and listing all the changes taking place. Well lets look at the changes they are making that are so critical:
Change 14: Rename "More info" status to "Needs more info".
... Oh pardon me. I didn't realise such critical show stoppers were being addressed. Please do continue. Don't mind me, i'll just be over here taking 4 hours to create an Epic and 6 stories. As you were9 -
Well, I made a choice in life.
I'm going to stay and work in America after I graduate. In spite of all the shit talking I've done about its work ethics, benefits, politics, and culture.
This place is still home.
After trying out a trip to Europe for a few weeks I can't handle the idea of being 4,500 miles away from family and what few friends I have. I figured out what was true the whole time: I wanted to run away from my past. Breakups, a failed marriage proposal, a dead end job that I put up with only because I need to graduate. I've been angry and depressed over these things, but running away won't fix it.
I need to face reality and own up to it. I'll get a job as a developer in the states through hell or high-water.5 -
Upwork:
"Hey freelancer, sorry we can't let you join this website made for freelancers like you as there are too many freelancers like you on this site made for freelancers like you"4 -
!rant
I complained during a dev team review about the too many dev calls/meetings we have that are supposed to improve our productivity but instead feel like interrupting our work and line of thoughts when focusing on something.
I expected the team lead to bash me or say "Nooo, these meetings are important bla bla bla" but he received it quite positively and already changed how we do things.3 -
My prepaid travelcard company sends me an email whenever I buy coffee for 50 cents. Decides to ignore when I make a €2500 withdrawal.6
-
> Saw “pied pipper” tag on twitter trends
> “Oh shit, is there a new season of silicon valley?”
> * opens it
> korean live concert or shit13 -
I know that I should stop mindless scroll through devRant when it suddenly crashes 😎
It’s a feature at this point.
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️4 -
I wish there is such thing as branch in a relationship. So that whenever a couple are having a fight, they can create a branch and work their shit out in that branch and eventually merge to the master branch.
Wait
Merge....
That just costs.... more conflicts3 -
I spent an hour arguing with the CTO, pushing for having all our new products' data in the database (wow) with an API I could hit to fetch said data (wow) prior to displaying it on our order page.
He never actually agreed with me, but he finally acquiesced and wrote the migrations, API, and entered my (rather contrived) placeholder data. (I've been waiting on the boss for details and copy for three days.)
Anyway, it's now live on QA. but. I don't know where QA is for this app, and it's been long enough that i'm kind of afraid to ask.
Does that sound strange?
well.
We have seven (nine?) live applications (three of which share a database), and none of their repos match their URLs, nor even their Heroku app names. (In some of these Heroku names, "db" is short for the app's namesake, while in the rest it's short for "database").
So, I honestly have no idea where "dbappdev" points to, and I don't have access to the DNS records to check. -.-
What's more: I opened "dbappdev" on Heroku and tested out his new API -- lo and behold! it returns nada. Not a single byte. (Given his history I expected a 500, so this is an improvement, I think. Still totally useless, however.)
And furthermore: he didn't push the code to github, so I cannot test (or fix) it locally.
just. UGH.
every day with this guy, i swear.16 -
"There is a problem with A, could you check it out? It's urgent for the client"
Me: Okay, just open a ticket for it too.
*Working on A"
After about ten minutes:
"Hey, there is a small problem B and it's also urgent for the client, we need you to check it out"
Me: I'm working on A and you are yet to open a tick... (Interrupted)
"But it's urgent and it's a small fix, we can fix it and push it to prod, A can wait for a bit"
(Since when is it a "we"?)
Me: *sigh* fine, lets see what's B is all about...
*After going over problems C to Z*
"Why isn't A ready yet? The client's mad and it was to be ready as of today"
Me: Because you had problems from B to Z and they were all urgent according to you so after each request you asked of me I had to postpone A with you knowing about it.
"But A is for today!"
FUCK YOU, YOU WORTHLESS WASTE OF JIZZ! YOU RAN TO ME FOR EVERY GOD DAMN URGENT PROBLEM YOU HAD FROM OUR SHIT OF A CLIENT AND INSTEAD OF TELLING ME THE PRIORITY YOU JUST THROWN IT ALL IN A RANDOM ORDER!
FUCK YOU! I WISH YOUR FATHER WOULD'VE SHOT YOU OUT THE WINDOW INSTEAD OF INSIDE YOUR MOTHERS CUNT!5 -
Kudos to @trogus and @dfox for introducing the new refresh button on the nav bar instead of the odd position at the end of the comments.
It's looking awesome now.
Note: If the screenshot violates anyones privacy. Let me know. It is just a random screenshot16 -
Today I found my sister take a photo of her laptop screen with ms word open to share her class report which is just pure text file4
-
The first paid work I did was to write a program to calculate something mathematicaly for a senior. And my payment was a cup of tea and cigratte
-
Ironically, the face I make when a project has no documentation is the same one I make when someone asks me to write documentation.1
-
Writing bad code has its perks.
Whenever you are hungry you only have to write a few lines of code and you get some spaghetti3 -
I updated the UI as I said last time
prettywordcloud.github.io
Found out word cloud essentially is NP hard problem, so can’t do it in an efficient way.
However, now it is more interactive, and gives the illusion it is faster23 -
Game devs: Let's make characters as photorealistic as possible.
Some asian girls: Let's try to look as unrealistic as possible:11 -
Why the absolute fuck do I need to have nvidia membership to download cudnn? What evil do these mofos think people achieve with free access to a fucking programming tool?
Jesus on a bike! I nag about open science and all I end up with is always these spying morons, who purposefully disable scientists. Fuck!
If👏you👏need👏my👏info,👏then it's👏not👏free.👏17 -
New job was killing me. remote team has an 8 hour time difference to us, and no understanding of it. Constant last minute invites to meetings at 10pm my time. Made worse by the fact that many were unnecessary, duplicates or just plain pointless. So for the last few weeks of last year I made in my mission to clean it up.
New plan: move my hours around on Mondays, stay later, move all the meetings back to back and get everything out of the way for the rest of the week.
First day back and heres how the new plan is shaping out:
- 5:30pm meeting organiser decided we actually need 2 almost identical meetings instead. Sends out a big team meeting for the same time as my 1st meeting at 5pm, as well as the existing one for 5:30pm. Already agreed on by everyone else, so had to go.
- Cancelled my original 5pm meeting for today, said we'll re-arrange it for earlier going forward (not enough time for notice for remote team).
- Went into my new 5pm meeting, turns out we don't need 2. Got everything done by 5:30pm.
- Just to be safe though, a new invite will be sent around for the hour of 5 - 6 "Just in case".
- My 6pm meeting just got cancelled as she has a conflict (despite setting it up 2 months ago)
- Now I have to wait around, after hours for my 6:30 meeting.
..... believe it or not, this is progress.
Happy new year!6 -
This rant goes to my best friend.
Fuck you!
You do not fucking argue with people for doing what they like! So what if I want to use linux? What fucking problem does that make? Am I now a hacker fanboy for wanting to use a terminal instead of fucking pointing and clicking on shit like a monkey? Am I not allowed to want my privacy and free open-source? What? I shouldn't browse internet without getting my personal info stolen? Oh, they're tracking criminals? Then why don't you install a camera in your fucking living room so you can help them out? And don't fucking get me started on why I don't want to use Windows 10.
Fuck fucking fuck fuck. I know he's a good friend but this fucking shit gets my blood boiling.8 -
Ok, I’m over windows. Done with it.
I have been a long time windows, I’ve used most versions since 3.11, and have used Linux for a few years on the side (not as a daily but have needed it for work and servers) but with yesterday’s update, not only have I lost audio for the countless time again, as far as Windows is concerned there’s nothing fucking wrong with it, besides the lack of sound and all.
Drivers are reinstalled, deleted and reinstalled, redownloaded from manufacturer, different drivers installed.
Ran a system restore back to before the update and just dropped the hdd into another laptop (it’s identical model) and still no fucking audio (to exclude the audio chip as failing)
So fuck it, I’m spending my weekend finding a distro that will work, I’m fucking done!8 -
Oh Christ.. just been looking for hosting companies here in Belgium to look for sysadmin positions.. one of the fucking companies posted this: "we provide Uptime-as-a-Service"
The fucking cringe!!! Uptime as a service! Everything including the only fucking job a hoster has, keeping shit up and running.. as a service.. fuck!4 -
A cable company in my home country recently launched their cloud hosting solution.
Their cheapest plan is $125 and it comes with a 1vCPU, 1GB of RAM and 50 GB HDD. ARE YOU KIDDING ME. That's the equivalent of a $10 plan in DigitalOcean.
P.S.
Picking Linux or Windows does not change the price 😐4 -
So it's been a while I posted here... but today I got an logo.docx after I asked for an Vectorgraphic. That's it. I'll quit my job and become an ex google techlead on youtube!1
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So woke up this morning and Paypal had just banned my account with no reason whatsoever. I only receive funds from 3 clients who I have been working with for a few years now. My account is already verified with my ID and utilities bill. Am a freelance so I depend on it. So it's a case of ' hey, we think you did something wrong, we are not going to tell you what but are banning you permanently and keeping your money for 6 months'. F piss of shit of a company.23
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I was talking with a PHP dev. He was also fan of Hellreiser as I am.
We were bored and I sugested to design a “Php superhero” or something like that. He propoused “Php man: Once the page loads, he can’t do anything”. Then, I draw this: A Php cenobite. (Cenobite: Like an interdimentional sado monster)
Yes, the php dev is the same guy of the php thong from my last rant 😂4 -
team downloading a library to solve in 12 hours problems I could code myself out in 15 minutes, complication as a service at its best.5
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Desktop SSD just failed. All VMs lost. Domain admins too drunk to fix. No timesheets no sprint diary no mail no IM.6
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Me after a long coding session with a well prepared working flow: I am such a great computer scientist, I can conquer the world.
Right after that I found a repository for computer science papers and got immidiately hooked. Well, the level of knowledge and theory is so immense that it brought me back to ground of reality again: I know so little that it is almost ridiculous, even if I read and code 16 hours a day I may never understand computer science as a whole.
Le me sad.11 -
Fuck sake :(
So I just checked my bank to find out I'm in an extra £300 debt because my fucking letting agency took my rent AFTER I MOVED IT FOR £98 BECAUSE I COULDN'T AFFORD IT.
Why the fuck is the world throwing turd after steaming turd at me, first the streets, then family, then job, then debt, now a constant barrage of shit. Just feel like ending it now so I don't have to deal with this shit anymore, fuck the human race and the shithole upside down society they've made :'(5 -
I woke up early and thaught I could finish some database work today.
Beeing tipsy I deleted two production tables and shit my pants.
Luckily I do backups since the last retarded db-deletion.8 -
Just now I realized that for some reason I can't mount SMB shares to E: and H: anymore.. why, you might ask? I have no idea. And troubleshooting Windows.. oh boy, if only it was as simple as it is on Linux!!
So, bimonthly reinstall I guess? Because long live good quality software that lasts. In a post-meritocracy age, I guess that software quality is a thing of the past. At least there's an option to reset now, so that I don't have to keep a USB stick around to store an installation image for this crap.
And yes Windows fanbois, I fucking know that you don't have this issue and that therefore it doesn't exist as far as you're concerned. Obviously it's user error and crappy hardware, like it always is.
And yes Linux fanbois, I know that I should install Linux on it. If it's that important to you, go ahead and install it! I'll give you network access to the machine and you can do whatever you want to make it run Linux. But you can take my word on this - I've tried everything I could (including every other distro, custom kernels, customized installer images, ..), and it doesn't want to boot any Linux distribution, no matter what. And no I'm not disposing of or selling this machine either.
Bottom line I guess is this: the OS is made for a user that's just got a C: drive, doesn't rely on stuff on network drives, has one display rather than 2 (proper HDMI monitor recognition? What's that?), and God forbid that they have more than 26 drives. I mean sure in the age of DOS and its predecessor CP/M, sure nobody would use more than 26 drives. Network shares weren't even a thing back then. And yes it's possible to do volume mounts, but it's unwieldy. So one monitor, 1 or 2 local drives, and let's make them just use Facebook a little bit and have them power off the machine every time they're done using it. Because keeping the machine stable for more than a few days? Why on Earth would you possibly want to do that?!!
Microsoft Windows. The OS built for average users but God forbid you depart from the standard road of average user usage. Do anything advanced, either you can't do it at all, you can do it but it's extremely unintuitive and good luck finding manuals for it, or you can do it but Windows will behave weirdly. Because why not!!!12 -
Accountant: Can we just get one big Excel file with all the transactions instead of separate reports that are filled out specifically for each dorm?
Me: Hell yes you can.3 -
Howdy my binary friends and those who identify as an attack helicopter or an Amiga 500, I was away from devRant for about 2 weeks or 4 because I had to order a new touchscreen (who cares anyway).
Have I missed something on devRant?
Let me just freshen up my dictionary with Alex's rants, be right back.20 -
!dev !rant but still funny story
As the goth of the dev team, sometimes people ask me several things about me.
I was working on my code. It was 3 or 4PM and a bored dev asks came to me
He: Have you ever tried to be a vampire?
Me: No, I’m just a goth
He: Do you know a vampire?
Me: Unfortunately no, but I’ve heard of them.
He: Do they suck blood?
I don’t know if he was asking because of curiosity or in a sarcastic mode. As usual, I answered in a polite way explaining him what means to be a vampire, the types (blood and energetic) and the difference between a goth and a vampire.
While I was explaining to him this, the boss came into the office, heard me talking about the energetic vampires and said “Wow wow wow! What is coming on here?!” 😂15 -
My coworker doesn't know how to use a terminal. He talked himself into his position and instead of taking the time to learn about the basic commands he keeps asking someone else (including the teammanager, who's actually a software engineer) to do things for him.
For reference; we need the terminal to tail log files, keep track of processes, cron jobs, manipulate file structures, use scp (I use sshfs) to move things between other workstations and servers etc. Being able to use a terminal is one of the basic requirements for our job.
What.
Why.
How.
Why do people do this?2 -
You know it's sad when your boss doesn't know what minified CSS is or JS is. This is really a ecommerce company.6
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Flash has made Java programs look desirable. And anyone keeping up with me knows I despise Java and C#, despite having written C# and currently working on deciphering a Java server to create documentation.
Before I begin, I want to make this clear: IT IS TWO THOUSAND AND FUCKING EIGHTEEN. 2018. WE HAVE BETTER TECH. JAVASCRIPT HAS TAKEN OVER THIS BITCH. So, firstly, FUCK FLASH. Seriously, that shit's a security liability. If you work for a company that uses it, find a new job and then fucking quit, or go mutany and get several devs to begin a JS-based implementation that has the same functionality. There is no excuse. "I'm fired?" That's not an excuse - if there is a way to stop the madness, then fucking hit the brakes on that shit or begin job hunting. Oh, and all you PMs who are reading this and have mandated or helped someone else to mandate work on an enterprise flash program, FUCK YOU. You are part of the problem.
The reason for this outburst seems unreasonable until you realize the hell I went through today. At my University, there is a basic entry-level psychology course I'm taking. Pearson, a company I already fucking hate for some of the ethically sketchy shit they pulled with PARCC as well as overreach in publishing to the point they produce state tests here in the US - has a product called "My PsychLab" and from here on out, I'm referring to it as MPL. MPL has an issue - it is entirely fucking Flash. Homework assignments, the textbook, FUCKING EVERYTHING. So, because of that, you need to waste time finding a browser that works. Now let me remind all of you that just because something SHOULD WORK does NOT mean that it actually does.
I'm sitting on my Antergos box a few days ago: Chromium and Firefox won't load Flash. I don't know why, and don't care to find out. NPAPI and whatnot are deprecated but should still run in a limited mode or some shit. No go on Antergos.
So, today I went to the lab in the desolated basement of an old building which is where it's usually empty except a student hired by the university to make sure nobody fucks things up. I decided - because y'all know I fuckin' hate this - to try Windows. No go in Chrome still - it loaded Flash but couldn't download the content. So I tried Firefox - which worked. My hopes were up, but not too long - because there was no way to input. The window had buttons and shit - but they were COMPLETELY UNRESPONSIVE.
So the homework is also Flash-based. It's all due by 1/31/18 - FOUR CHAPTERS AND THE ACCOMPANYING HOMEWORK - which I believe is Tuesday, and the University bookstore is closed both Saturday and Sunday. No way to get a physical copy of the book. And I have other classes - this isn't the only one.
Also, the copyright on the program was 2017 - so whoever modded or maintained that Flash code - FUCK YOU AND THE IRRESPONSIBLE SHIT YOUR TEAM PULLED. FUCK THE SUPERIORS MAKING DECISIONS AS WELL. Yeah, you guys have deadlines? So do the end users, and when you have to jump through hoops only to realize you're fucked? That's a failure of management and a failure of a product.
How many people are gonna hate me for this? Haters gonna hate, and I'm past the point of caring.7 -
Pulled this from a web site's privacy policy. Remember, just because there's a switch doesn't mean anyone has to abide to that rule.
Browser “Do Not Track” Signals: Most browsers contain a “do-not-track” setting. In general, when a “do-not-track” setting is active, the user’s browser notifies other websites that the user does not want their personal information and online behavior to be tracked and used, for example, for behavioral advertising. As required by recent Shine the Light law amendments we are required to inform you that, as is the case with most websites, we do not honor or alter our behavior when a user to one of our Websites has activated the “do-not-track” setting on his/her browser.5 -
Quarantine and unemployment gave me opportunities to do side projects, here is another one I’ve done recently and I think you guys will like it
It is an image mosaic that preserves features based on color gradient, and tries to use as many photos as possible instead of just repeatedly using same picture over and over.
Here is the link: https://github.com/txstc55/...
For those who care about my minesweeper game, I’m working on submitting it to steam and make it a free game.2 -
Am I the only one who thinks Silicon Valley is extremely overrated? A ridiculously high cost of living, just for a start up? During start up phase, wouldn't conserving money be a better idea?6
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It's 2.30 a.m. here. Had a very emotionally bad day and I don't feel like sleeping now. Fuck you emotions!! :(
I guess I could enjoy the silence at least... and devRant4 -
Me in conversation with the CTO a couple of weeks before starting the job:
I don't want to be mainly doing ui stuff
Him: that's cool
Me now: HTML
So, my lunchtime is spent applying for jobs...9 -
!rant
I have come to realize, after a long time in programming and using libraries, that spending time to read their documentation saves me time in the long run2 -
Hmm internet connection is down. Check isp status page...no issues. Wait 50mins on phone to get to support, where they tell me there is a known issue, reported 4 hours ago. After call check isp status page...no issues
Is AWS selling status pages as a service now?5 -
We planted a blanket, pillow and full sized ambulatory mannequin to sleep under the desk of our software director. It was a deep desk with no visible parts showing unless you happened to look down.
After a meeting, he went into his office and sat down. About a minute later there was a very high pitched squeal and he came running out of his office to the amusement of several developers and managers outside. 😈1 -
This is not fucking security, it's obscurity! What the fuck is a memorable word without any context! It drives me up the fucking wall. This doesnt help anyone it just promotes people to put silly shit like password or something so they won't forget but it just makes their account weaker.17
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You know since everyone is starting to make jokes about wannacry, why don't we make the mother of all wannacry jokes, a full page website that looks exactly like the computer was infected5
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Conversation with coworker at a staff function...
girl: ...we can't wait to see what you can do!
Me: Great! I can't wait to get stuck in, but you know, those exports you wanted from it, that doesn't have to wait. If you need that straight away, come to my desk and I'll make some queries for you and pull out the data you want...
Girl: o_0
Girl: ... Omg, you can do that?! You're awesome!!
Me later: o_0 - the Dev before me could never at least do that?!6 -
that feeling when your (thrice) refactored code executes literally 1000 times faster.
loading excel ranges into vba arrays and process these is much faster than comparing the ranges themselves. also much more readable. please don't throw rocks at me for don't knowing this in advance.6 -
A vendor gave us what is turning out to be a very stable storage appliance/software, so we're happy for that. But even so, disks fail. So we need an automated way to identify, troubleshoot, isolate, and begin ticketing against disk failures. Vendor promised us a nice REST API. That was six months ago. The temporary process of SSHing(as root) to every single appliance(60-200 per site, dozens of sites) to run vendor storage audit commands remains our go-to means of automation.6
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Question to all you web developers out there: how do you survive long term in this job without going nuts? I have been working in this industry for almost 7 years and feelings of frustration have accumulated, to the point where I honestly feel like laying g bricks as a job would be more rewarding. Here are the main reasons why:
1) The fact that your job is never "finished" and it looks like and endless stream of tasks. Either the project has money being rolled in or is pretty much dead. Ever changing requirements ensure that most of what you do will be rewritten in 6 months or so. This is ok for the most part, but overtime it does give you the feeling that most of your effort was wasted, and you have the same website/app to show for it, slightly different...
2) The never ending churn of tech, particularly in the Javascript/node ecosystem. Sure, there is a good side of learning new approaches of doing things and it brings variety, but there is the dark side that you never feel you are getting better at doing your job, as every new project does not look anything like the previous. Even if all the stack pieces are the same (never happens), everyone sets it up and organises the project differently enough that you have to spend loads of time solving things you have done before. This makes it difficult to get a sense that you are mastering something...
So, if autonomy, purpose, and mastery are the keys to fulfilling work, I find this career lacking in mastery and purpose...does anyone feels/felt the same? How did you counter it?3 -
Had a conference call and one of the guys said something along the lines of "I can handle the load (ticket load)" didn't even thought about it my mouth instinctively reacted with "that's what she said".
A couple of guys laughed but the other few just "wooooow"ed like if I had thrown a 9/11 joke.
This is not a rant perse, just a reminder that if I ever launch my own startup I shall look to hire "joke sensitive" people to make my scrum meetings as awkward as possible.4 -
I hate these idiots that post source code examples as an image just so they can keep their cool highlighting and style. How the fuck am I supposed to test that without re-typing the whole thing myself? Ever try OCR on source code? Not too great, is it.12
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Let's make this interesting.
My phone crashed recently, and restored my wallpaper to default. This is inconvenient because that image is no longer on my phone, and I don't have any wallpapers currently in my gallery.
Therefore, the most upvoted image in the comments will become my wallpaper.26 -
Looks like despite 20-30 years on the market all popular text / spreadsheet editors are still loading whole file to memory.
What the fucking wankers. WTF are they doing whole day besides changing menu layout and icon colors ?
Clearly development today is lead by bunch of idiots from marketing department accompanied with HR hiring social network self made models.
What a fucked up world.
Let’s add AI to our software but fails to open 150MB csv file.
Great job everyone. Great job.4 -
So, giving a talk soon and marketing wanted to see the slides.
Comments come back. On every slide that is purely visual they've suggested I add a title and a para or two of text.
Fuck you and your fucking slideuments. If you want them to read the material send them a memo and save me the fucking trip.
Or even better, turn up yourselves and read lists of bulletpoints off the screen for 30 mins while I sit in hotel hot-tub with a cocktail.
I hate the inanity of corporate life.
Next time I'm going to send you a blank slide and live draw my diagrams. See how you like that, arseholes.4 -
Those corperate slow laptops which has preinstalled software on it. Especially the antivirus which decides to take up all memory to take a scan on 08:00 when you start up.
Im really close to throwing this piece if shit through the window...6 -
https://tagesschau.de/inland/...
What the fuck?
Yea, lets give the (in my opinion corrupt) police the full power to do just about everything - Oh and if you are not christian, bad for you we also put crosses everywhere you look now.
WHAT IN THE FUCKING FUCK? Why in the flying fuckworld is it possible to do such changes to the law without listening to "intelligent" (intelligent == people with a bit of common sense) people?
Same happened when europe wanted to give robots basic human rights (luckily they gave up on that after scientists wrote a paper)
This REALLY isnt a world I want to live in.17 -
College student here.
What are the most important skills/assets one should bring to the workplace? As a developer and a colleague.5 -
My god the wall looks really punchable right now. Let me tell you why.
So I’m working on a data mining project, and I’m trying to get data from google trends. Unfortunately, there have been a lot of roadblocks for what should have been an easy task.
First it won’t give a raw search volume, only relative “interest”.
Fortunately it lets me compare search terms, which would work for my needs however it will only let me compare a few at a time. I need to compare 300.
So my solution is simple: compare all the terms relative to one term. Simple enough, but it would be time consuming so I figured I’d write a program to get the data.
But then I learned that they don’t have an official api. There’s a node module for this very thing based on a python module that reverse engineers the api endpoints. I thought as long as it works I’d use it.
It does work... But then I discovered that google heavily rate limits the endpoints.
So... I figured I’d build a system to route the requests through different tor nodes to get around the rate limit. Good solution right? Well like a slap to the face, after spending way to much time getting requests through tor working, I discovered that THEY FUCKING BLOCKED TOR IPS.
So I gave up, and resigned to wait 5 hours for my program to get the data... 1 comparison at a time... 60s interval between requests. They, of course, don’t tell you the rate limit threshold, so this is more or less a guess (I verified that 30s interval was too short and another person using the module suggested 60s).
Remember when I said the discovery that the blocked tor came like a slap to the face? This came as a sledge hammer to the face: for some reason my program didn’t dump the data at the end. I waited 5 fucking hours to get nothing.
I am so mad right now. I am so fucking mad.4 -
So today i went to another town for a car service, and by accident i met a very old man looking at the cars in the saloon, he was very calm person, in conversation he said he was system analyst and a COBOL developer in a big industry... but what got me the most he said he survided FOUR heart attacks... i don't know if that was a common practice for COBOL developers but i do php most of the time... so... i just wanted to say hello guys... and delete my browser history if i'm not around for some time :)4
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Handed off a Markdown presentation to the marketing dept to add some pizzaz too---just to see what happens.
My bet is that they'll redo it all in PowerPoint. Or fire me. Latter is the lessor of two evils.2 -
applying for a job at a company whose website is broken is kinda ironic
Todays gems are
- the menu item jobs isn't clickable. I have to find a link elsewhere
- the application form has a second page a "this is what you entered" page. It switches month and day of my birthday. I returned to first page to check. Here it's still fine. Now I needed to reupload my attachments because the "field is empty" - lets see if they get my CV twice
- the jobs page doesn't even load. firefox eventually prompts "This site is slowing down the browser ... [stop]"6 -
Maybe not a new rant but: When someone asks you for a feature and always says "its easy and simple" ... Yeah right... 😡2
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Because everything should be a managed-service somewhere in the internet.
https://devnull-as-a-service.com -
Don't tell me I'm the only one who searched if there's any direct option to use Assembly in Python as it is in C.2
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Why is the fucking Print option is just right above the Run as Administrator on right clicking on a batch file???
I just printed the fucking runall script for the 4th time today....3 -
So, the reason I couldn't save screenshots to ~/Screenshots is that the directory doesn't exist.
But ~/Screenschots does2 -
Fuck this shit, I'm done, mentally broken. I am trying to setup some basic Java project using buck. Their build times looked super promising and I wanted to migrate my multi module maven project to it.
I am currently working on it for FIVE hours now. And this fucking piece of SHIT doesn't work as I want it to. WTF FACEBOOK, IS IT SO HARD TO WRITE PROPER DOCUMENTATION THAT IS NOT OUT OF DATE?! People warned me, I ignored them. FML.
The time I used to try to get the repo working could have been used to build the project 250 times -.-3 -
I SWEAR TO GOD IF I SEE ONE MORE BUGGY AS HELL SHITTY SNAP PACKAGE I GONNA LOSE MY SHIT AND KILL SOMEONE11
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I wish I would know how.
My personal project is untouched for months.
Everytime I'm comming home from work or university I don't want to code anymore4 -
Being bad at something that you want to be good at is the most fucking annoying thing I've ever experienced. Fuck.1
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Regarding the Area 51 news. These guys are really stupid. They’ll deservedly got shot soon as they come close enough to the fence, and even if they get over, then what??
Anyone who know anything, knows that you need to spawn a jet pack, get to the second hanger ASAP, and jump in the Rhino. They can’t touch you after that, even with 5 stars!!6 -
Guys!!!!
Guysss!!!!
And girls....
when your stoned and drunk as me, please watch "This is Not Happening" on youtube....
I'm crying here of laughter...
OMG
The bear... Oh , To baad no more bozze8 -
need halpers!!! does nu one know java# ???¡ iM trYinG to console.log my ddos but it's getting a assembl3r err3r! i runned the cmd rm -rf / but windows say command not founded! pls help! wanna be 1337 ¡!!!2
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Fucking windows automatic reboots! They seriously need to fuck off with that. As of this morning I have a finance person who can't log on, a floor manager that can't schedule his employees and a robotics controller pc that rebooted and didn't save the changes I made! Seriously, FUCK OFF!14
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My two cent: Java is fucking terrible for computer science. Why the fuck would you teach somebody such a verbose language with so many unwritten rules?
If you really want your students to learn about computer, why not C? Java has no pointer, no passed by reference, no memory management, a lots of obscure classes structure and design pattern, this shit is garbage. The student will almost never has contact with the compiler, many don't even know of existence of a compiler.
Java is so enterprise focused and just fucked up for educating purpose. And I say it as somebody who (still) uses it as main language.
If you want your students to be productive and learn about software engineering, why not Python? Things are simple in Python can can be done way easier without students becoming code monkeys (assuming they don't use for each task a whole library). I mean java takes who god damn class and an explicitly declared entry point which is btw. fucking verbose to print something into the console.
Fuck Java.17 -
If hiring managers really want to hire based on skill, what they should be doing is testing for one thing:
The ability to take a specification, written in general language, notice deficiency, communicate with the 'client' (manager) to hash out what needs done, and the (explicit) ability to read documentation on libraries or tooling outside the dev's core skillset.
If a dev can read a spec, talk to a client to work out whats lacking, and then identify what they need to know and where to find it, thats 90% of the skills they need from what I can see.
tl;dr version of it, is they should be explicit about the requirements for reading/implementing specs and finding the correct documentation.
Something along the lines of
"can you form your letters? Are you able to follow instructions on the back of a cake box? Then there may be a position waiting for you!"8 -
If only.
Tbh. When I read about ruby and how it was meant to be as close to English as possible a little part of me was hoping for this1 -
G’day dev rant community, Im bloody annoyed, so what happened was i finished college about 1pm had a mad feed at grilled happy as fred, walking the streets of sydney past UTS - and thennnn “OMG HELLO CAN U STOP AND TALK TO ME?” And me silly enough give her 5 minutes of my precious time, mind you she is bloody yelling as she is talking ##%%#ing land whale!! “Can you please donate $5 a week to this charity - mind you its a ####ing scam- then another dude comes out of no where saying “oh has she been nice to you?” - me “ oh absolutely “ and in my mind im saying “no #%#%ing way does this blabbering whale normally speak like this”...
Then it only gets on my nerves “oh are you poor are you?? I know it must be extremely stressful and expensive living in sydney” he says , man who tf are these annoying pricks annoying people heading into and out of work?? How dare you say im poor you dont know me?!
Anyways ladies and gentlemen I sincerely hope you all have a great day or night wherever you may be!
Kind regards
Milo3 -
Meetings. I don't know how management people get anything done, but the time I spend in meetings counts completely opposite, in terms of productivity.
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Passwords.. how do you guys manage yours? I'm one of those who often used the same semi weak password for nearly everything
I'm more than likely going to get a password manager but I have no idea which, do you use any?30 -
15 min till technical interview with IBM:
Trying to convince myself I’m not an imposter. 🙃
10 min after the interview:
I’m thinking how for the last 15 min of the interview they were pitching about how great the life at IBM is and why I should join.21 -
I'm addicted to dark theme everywhere. Dark Firefox, dark chrome, dark YouTube, dark devrant, dark Reddit, dark Google keyboard. What else can I make dark?11
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Programming contest assignments, first level:
1. "...if you don't know how to return values from a function, you can just print them"
2. "...if you don't know how to read files, you can assume data is in global variables"
3. Required recursion
4. "...and estimate its time complexity.", "You may pre-process the data, but use at most o(n^3)", "your algorithm must use under n^3 operations"
That escalated quickly!1 -
Every time I read a team member's code I feel like I get immediately closer to them. Like all of a sudden I see how they think a little more clearly.
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Wanted to test whether my card worked online or not (was having some issues with it) and decided to try becoming a devRant supporter, and it worked!
Gotta say, I feel really happy to be able to give back to devRant and show my support by doing something as small as this. Loving the darker theme too.
Thanks for everything so far, devRant, and happy to be a supporter. -
Fucking corporate bullshit, I was coding (mostly creating bugs and pulling my hair off) all night on my free time (I'm on night shifts I keep the schedule when I have my days off) and at the moment I was making huge progress on my project, I gotta go to sleep to go back to work 4h later to follow a fucking 2h training on team efficiency and cohesion, in other words, how to waste 2h in a useless meeting and not getting it back + interrupting the only night I was in the zone, I'm so tired of this....2
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How often do you get bored (eg. on a bus) and just code something completely stupid on your phone?
(pic is the result of some spaggeti I made on a bus today)7 -
8 days till end of contract.
Let’s hope nobody nice want to hire me for at least a month.
I need vacation badly.2 -
!rant
I love the first weeks after a job change. It's just like falling in love, everything seems to be perfect until you take off the pink glasses.
Have to wait until I'm assigned a burning project to have a full picture.
Actually I am in a burning project. Deadline in 2 weeks. Doing Bugfixes which do not require in-depth project knowledge, and... It's fine. All a matter of perspective. I also think that project based work suits me more than usual 15y old legacy enterprise shit. And I'm able to switch. From embedded C++ over hardware dev to fullstack .NET (I consider myself as a full-fullstack dev, able to do everything from hardware to frontend).
Topics such as IOT, medical, device engineering, machine learning. Wow.
It's my first company having >50 employees and multiple offices in multiple countries. I used to jump every 2 years from one shitty garage company to another.
Wish me good luck ✌️2 -
New experience.
Went to bank at an unknown location all alone for first time and completed tons of pending work with the bank. In all, was worth 4 hours of struggling.
Being a Dev, I really feel bad how much the employee struggle to cope up with banking softwares and consider it as a gigantic task which for us is like the easiest task. Using mostly clicks and number pads and rarely any software updates.
I wonder why there isn't a proper training provided that would make them realise how simple it is to use banking proprietary softwares.
Or are we lagging behind to provide even better UX to banking employees. -
Management proposed to work with external freelancers, to "pick up speed so we can release these new designs sooner". We agreed, but of course we (the home team) can't have time to review their work because we need to develop other new features and bugfixes and such...
Weeks later, turns out that their changes are largely incompatible with the work we have been doing on the main branch. We are now rebasing/rewriting huge chunks of their work, probably taking as much time as it would have cost us to develop the design ourselves in the first place.4 -
Me: (Talking to new recruits) "Remember, you should only ever work on one project at a time. The different requirements, complications, and resolution times will fuck you over. That's the last thing you need, being new to the team and all that. If the client needs more man power, then-" (you get the idea)
Also me: 3 monitors and working on 4 projects. *Sips coke*1 -
Sometimes norwegian black metal can come off as a fanboi intercepting a discussion about database technologies and which is better suited for different purposes...
-
So I have a date tomorrow. First meeting in person. I’ve got a little time to kill before hand, and need to learn Dart anyway....so I thought it would be fun to code her up something interactive. Kinda like that game Mr and Mrs. Only in the terminal, and for nerds.
Features, ladies and gentleman?9 -
Can't someone just write some sort of Programm that gets project adjectives as input and outputs some nice project names. That would be super awesome. How do you create your project names?5
-
I just remembered an annoying experience I once had,
Wanted to know cli version asap (due to some bug introduced in a certain version):
-v (output: view --help for command)
--version (output: view --help for command)
FUCK
--help (revealed: -version)
Wanted to know it's dependency version:
-version (output: view --help for command)
FUCK
--help (revealed: version)
You could call me lazy for not always typing --help first but there must be a standard for this time sensitive command.1 -
Does anyone else ever get so distracted/tired/pent up with other shit going on that they become a liability?
Last night I had about 5 hours sleep and have been worried over general UK politics lately.
Today, on a phone call to get support over getting locked out of our Apple Developer Program account, the call centre agent asked if we had the password.
I immediately replied "Sure! It's **begins saying actual password allowed over the phone**6 -
Hardest thing for me as Team leader is to teach people in my team, that task is done, when unit tests are written, pull request is created, approved and merged.
Not when their code compiles for a first time.1 -
2:17 AM, it's raining, I have opened my windows and still temperature is above 30 C.
Can't sleep and will have to convince my boss I haven't been drinking all night in the weekdays (don't know if he'll believe though).
Ah, almost forgot, there are also mosquitoes, besides biting you everywhere in your body there's the risk of contracting Zika, dengue and chikungunya.
That's why I *love* Brazil
**story if my life3 -
I worked a whole year in a company for which I produced 30 software and none of them saw the publication even though they were completed. I was the most productive employee and had a productivity of 428% compared with the other employees.
All because of the constant changes in business strategies.
For a moment I believed to be a pirate ship during a storm. When I was tired of the way they were treating employees, months of backlog payments, unpaid leave or not granted, I quit and I was told to me that I was a bad employee and I was unproductive.
In a month he is left only the designer working. At the moment the company in question is still looking for employees, after more than a year no one wanted to work again. Stupid me.
While I ras looking for another job I did freelance for a month, gaining about five times my earlier pay. -
Recruiter on LinkedIn:
"Hi *dev*,
I hope you don't mind me contacting on LinkedIn but I couldn't find your contact details. I wouldn't be doing my job if I didn't share this awesome job with you. Can U have you're phone number? I think you are a great candidate for this job.
If it's not quite right for you, please refer your contacts!"
Where do I start...
There's a good reason why I don't have my contact details in my profile. I also have a note saying I'm not looking for any jobs at the moment. If I'm "great candidate" what would you ask me to refer my friends? I know they're doing their job, but honestly it feels like they're retarded or something. -
My specialization exam is over hurray! But what now? Went from working 30+ hours a week to 0.
Never have i felt so empty, from coming home feeling tired and a need to relax with games to just existing.
I literally got home, stared at my desktop for about an hour, and then began work on one of my friends exam projekt... I think I'm broken :p1 -
Would you guys use a LED TV as a monitor? Don't want to buy a monitor and want to use that one instead until it dies. But I am not sure how long it will last tho17
-
So I had this awesome idea yesterday, and I was really in to it and all, so before I started working on it I googled some stuff, and while looking for something (how do you generate session cookies) I just found out that somebody did EXACTLY what I wanted to do. Now I'm sad.7
-
When I first started reading about Angular 4 I must admit I was a bit excited. It seemed like it fit the company enterprise requirements. The improvements it offered on paper looked quite good for our use case. HOWEVER... After writing Angular 4 for two weeks I'm seriously doubting I made the right decision. Testing is a dependency hell and there are two ways to build and structure your application. The webpack way and the SystemJS way. The grunt way and the angular-cli way. For fuck sake Google. And the documentation is somewhat half supporting one thing, half supporting another. So when you're using angular-cli with webpack, you're pretty much screwed when we're talking about documentation. It has now taken me almost 50 hours to write a pretty basic Angular app, made it compliant with our staging environment and writing a Makefile for it, since I haven't been able to find any same way to provide custom arguments when building it with the angular-cli --aot option. So fuck you Google. Luckily I've found a way to modularize it so much that I'll be able to reuse the core in the future. So I guess I got that thing going for me, which is nice... -.-' *sigh*
-
4 hour lesson. We have to set up a virtual machine with WIndows Server 2012 R2... Image broken. Now the teacher doesn't know what we could do and lets us do what we want.
-
After 4 years off apprenticeship and 10 days of totally focused work I just turned in my final exam! (45 Minutes ago)
The final exam for IT professionals (here in Switzerland) is a project that you work on for ten days at your workplace.
I thought I would feel relieved in any way.
But honestly, there are only two things in my head right now:
Tiredness
And
The constant thought off what could be wrong
I AM TOO TIRED FOR EVERYTHING!
The only thing that keeps me alive for now is the music shaking my ears2 -
Happened to me a while ago:
co-worker: don't use (C++) templates so your colleagues who aren't as smart as you don't have such a hard time understanding your code.
me: said the guy who uses macros all over the place.
co-worker: macros have been around for years and you can expect one to understand those.
me: *tempted to start a discussion about C++ with one who started programming with C like 20 years ago and who doesn't give a fuck about learning new things*... You're right!4 -
have a couple friends now who have gotten dev jobs at microsoft. I've since turned down their offers to apply and have them vouch for me twice now - not sure if their recommendations would mean anything to begin with at such a place.
this has gotten me a lot of criticism from peers and mentors who have chided me for "throwing away a golden ticket" on my resume.
at first I declined because I sure as fuck did not believe I had the skills to last very long there - and truth is I probably still don't.
but now I see it as a case of the cliche "corporate devil" that everything I believe in in terms of software freedom is squarely against.
I mean, I don't really think I have the chops to make it far with the open source and free software communities either, but if I had to pick a dream or a goal to move towards, that would be it. I don't want money or reputation. I just want to be free to tinker with the world as I please.
maybe I'll have the courage next hacktober... but until then, I'm just gonna focus on learning and self-improvement. no one can ridicule me for being a dumbass if I'm actually putting in the effort to learn and improve, right?
would welcome any advice for aspiring open source contributors, as I'm not really sure where to begin that wouldn't make me look like a total hack (pun not intended)5 -
Ok guys. Here’s a company who used to offer a slack alternative free and unlimited but now charges anywhere from 79 dollars to 100 to 790 dollars for the same product. Company is Ryver. I dare say they just pissed off tons of customers who loved them for their generous limits. The worst thing is is that if you already have more than 6 users from when they offered the generous free plan, they put you into READ ONLY even for existing members. I thought I’d share this corporate fuckery with people who care. Unless you have tons of cash to burn, don’t try their product. Thanks for reading.3
-
I have lately seen a lot of people mentioning that functional programming is better than object oriented programming.
So far I have only experience in oop and I would really like to know some reasons why it is better.9 -
Them: Maintaing code quality is a vital part of our team culture!
Me: Really, how important? Can a feature slip to facilitate necessary refactoring?
Them: Well no. We've made a commitment to the client.
Me: So, code quality is not very important then is it... -
There are people who push code to GitHub and there are people who just fork your code on GitHub, and that's it. They don't do anything else with it.3
-
So what exactly is it like working as a developer?
I'm still in the learning phase but I can't seem to picture what exactly it is you'll be doing daily if you get hired.
Is it like constant coding? But like, the site is already made and is huge.
Or is it like making new stuff? But then like, there's already a big company site.
It's what I wanna do but I honestly can't imagine how it will work different from doing it for yourself7 -
Let me try if this will motivate me:
Open DevRant.
Search for "wk107".
** scroll **
** scroll **
** scroll ** -
Was trying to read the json data from a json file using python. But was stuck for a very long time as it was giving a json decide error. After much fuss I came to figure out that I forgot to use the read function to read the json data from the file :P1
-
After a while of functioning as a dev, I've learned one of many lessons:
The amount of experience you have does not correlate with your expertise, but it in fact correlates with the amount of absolutely broken shit you've seen and your ability deal with it. -
Fack I hate this CMS we have. Using Fetch and sending data as encoded JSON doesn't get parsed nor recognized by the CMS. I was pulling my hair out, understanding the differences, switched back to XHR... and then noticed the buggar:
XHR sends data as "FormData()".
I switched everything to FormData and TADAAA IT WORKS MOTHERFUCKA
Lost a whole fucking day on this trying to understand whether it was my code or the CMS the problem.
Ah yes, of course, I had to reproduce the CMS on my machine, instead of having the developers lend us a "development" platform on it, so obviously I don't know what's happening under the hood :))))))))rant are we in 1999 light swag cms as a shitty service life joy yolo hate death losing time for nothing darkness2 -
i think i just hit my limit after 5 years of no breaks or time off between finishing my studies and working 2 jobs sleep deprivation these last couple of weeks I'm barely able to work can't wake up either I've been sleeping 4-5 hours for a while. now i can truly say Fuck My Life.7
-
Worked from 8am to 23pm today. A massive power outage yesterday messed up my schedule. Still have a lot to do tomorrow. Going to sleep now. Stay strong, everyone. Weekend is coming.
-
As a user I want to fart before some one opens the door.
As a user I want to wait if someone farted.
As a admin I want to see who farted.
Does anyone else get annoyed with tasks like that? So much unnecessary words.
Bla bla bla do this bla bla bla2 -
I opened "About" screen
I read "Write native Android/IOS apps with JavaScript"
A second later: "devRant stopped unexpectedly"
Okay :D -
So I have finally decided to integrate Trello with the small internal CRM app I built for my work. Everything seems well on my Linux dev machine.
And now when I try to update our app at our server, I realized our server only has php5.6 and I need php7.1 and our server is windows. :3
Lucky today is Thursday.
Hope everything is done before the last bus to home. 🙏🙏🙏4 -
*Writes CloudFormation Template.*
*Launches Stack*
Starts Murmuring,
"The cycle repeated
As explosions broke in the sky
All that I needed
Was the one (JSON Invalid Format :| ) thing I couldn't find
And you (Teammates) were there at the turn
Waiting to let me know
We're building it up
To break it back down
We're building it up
To burn it down
We can't wait
To burn it to the ground
Me: "FML :| "1 -
Before rant (introduction): I'm the kind of dev that is a procrastinator by default, it takes me a huge amount of effort to avoid this bad habit.
Rant:
So, I'm going on vacation next week and finished all my shores on Monday. As I'm about to go on vacation, my team leader is avoiding giving me work so that it doesn't stay half way when I leave.
The problem is, this is the third day that I arrive at the office knowing that I will be there for 8 hours wasting my time not doing shit and looking at the screen!!!
The worst part is that if I get this bad habit going, it will stay and I will start to procrastinate a lot if I don't work to do fast5 -
Why do some countries do everything they can to stifle industry and economy?
I'm in South Africa and looking to build a high end rig. With local distributors a PC in the Excellent and above category of Logical Increments cost 3x as much as it should. Importing it myself would cost even more for shipping.
Guess I'll stick to a potato for now.13 -
Ummm, I will assume that you were not able to navigate to the page you have just opened in background. Ok Safari, thanks for the hardwork.4
-
"We've got a new opportunity for you."
I'm a fucking rookie. I didn't know the meaning of this sentence. Suddenly, I become the "IP PBX expert" of the society.
"-Okay, it's some networking shit, I thing I'm good at networking shit. Piece of cake.
-Okay great, you have one month to learn how this thing works, because we WILL provide this kind of service."
Damn.
I spent one month learning this shit on my free time, printing RFCs and living in the fucking MATRIX to not fuck up on the very first day doing that, just in case something on the customers' network fucks with the PABX or something like that.
Oh yeah, I forgot: I'm paid 80% of the minimum wage because I am actually not qualified to do my job and I'm spending one week a month to learn how to IT (some french weirdness I think, if not, maybe it's the germans' fault. Also yes, 100% legal).
Today, they announced me that they "changed their mind".
I'm pissed.1 -
I'm torn on dev bootcamps.
On one hand, I learn the most in hands-on direct tinkering and bootcamps tend to exude this with well-trained instructors following best practices.
On the other hand, the short timeline means corners are cut and an overwhelming amount of material is dropped all at once leading to a leaky retention vessel at the end.
I prefer ramping up learning over a period of time to gain experience than a fire hose approach.1 -
WTF?
TL;DR Integration between software failed so hard I lost 20% of my progress in one hit. Yay! /s
I, being a Fool, signed up to do NaNoWriMo this year (50k words in 30 days of November). I've won it before, and failed it before, and this year was especially stupid as I've got a bigger pile on my plate than usual, what with getting as quickly up to speed on c# and React as I can in prep for starting the new job in December.
I started on a high - 4k on day one, woohoo! To my delight, my writing software Scrivener now had an integration feature to let you update your total word count straight to your account instead of manually entering it. I added my credentials, hit the button, refreshed the page, all updated. So far so good.
Then, on day two, I wrote 1700-ish words. Still good, well ahead of target, took me over 5k. Updated through Scrivener, checked it updated the site, still good.
Then, yesterday, I logged in and added a tiny tiny number of words (brain went blah), and was horrified to discover it had taken 1900 words off my count!
Cue panic as I frantically searched for the missing words, trying to find any evidence of where they'd gone. Gave up after half an hour of futility, bashed out enough to squeak back over 5k, confirmed it had updated.
I'm not unfamiliar with the general stupidity most organisations have on integration - they don't have it, or it's an afterthought, or it's just plain terrible - but this was a ridiculously simple thing to do, I'd have thought? Passing one fucking number and some date/time tracking?
This is what I get for trying to do too many things at once, I guess! -
Fucking fuckwits! I sent a digital contract to sign online via hellobonsai.com. The client said he hadnt recieved it. After resending and pestering him he finally signed it, but not in the way a normal person would. He printed it out, all of it, signed it, scanned it and generated a pdf to which he emailed back to me. It would have taken 3 seconds to digitally sign it. I wondered if his secretary had done all the scanning and shit.
-
My daily commute to work is tiring me the fuck out, so much I wrote this little poem to my nagging friend just now..
//
I'm in no mood to think,
life currently flows by,
extinction, on the brink.
While I stand by,
and let things sink.
//
Now I'm "lowkeyemo-san".
FML :') -
The guy (!dev think he is some kind of analyst) who insists on pacing up and down the open plan office with his Bluetooth headset when on a call1
-
HR:why do you want to join this company?
My friend(trying to be oversmart):why do YOU want to hire me?
Result rejected :D
PS: He has gone to CMU for masters so zero fucks given from his side.1 -
I hate Vue. There I said it. I hate components. I hate this stupid error that I keep getting. I hate that I just want a simple answer to why I keep getting this error and that seems to be difficult to find. Where is my vanilla JavaScript?3
-
A normal day on my CMS as a Service...
URL: https://go to CMS
> Login screen: enter credentials, check checbox "remember me" (which doesn't remember you)
> redirected to SSO (single sign-on welcome page)
> Re-enter URL to go to CMS
> Fires up second browser on second screen, do the exact same things as above
--- Code editing
As it's a very modern CMS, you have to edit the code via the CMS using a bulky and honestly shitty editor (or rather: they didn't spend time configuring it to be at least semi-decent).
Plus default white horrible theme.
> Go to "/themes"
> Scroll all the way down the page
> Enter filename in search box
> Click the "Edit" button, which is a small button located right next to a much bigger red "DELETE" button. When you middle click (as I always open files in new tabs) on the DELETE button, it DELETES without confirmation. In such cases, you lose up to three days of work asking the providers to set it back up for you via their backup - and charge you for that. So sorry for deleting an *important* file
> Edit the file.
> Save the file - it takes 3 seconds. Upon saving, rescroll again to where you were in the code.
> On the other screen, refresh dev view of current template
> Wait 5 seconds
> If there are any special blocks, they all load via a semi-synchronous AJAX request (it's async, but they load one by one), the same time you waited to refresh your page.
> Notice you forgot adding some markup
> Re-edit the file, save...
> OH NO - I'VE BEEN BACKGROUNDEDLY DISCONNECTED. Back to Login page.
> Enter credentials.
> Am not on the CMS, but on the SSO
> Navigate back to file
> Re-write new changes
--- Manager comes in:
I need to you edit XXX objects in DB Manager (a big PHPMyAdmin if you will)
> New tab, go to https://DB
> Although still connected on CMS, I have to re-enter credentials
> Am redirected to SSO
> Re-enter https://DB
> Find the object (20 seconds of loading)
> Find the appropriate field
> Find out the field is in fact another object located elsewhere
> Uff, thank goodness, there's a shortcut button to directly edit said elsewhere object
> Operates on elsewhere object + save
> Re-edits original object + save
> ERROR 500, APPLICATION UNEXPECTEDLY CRASHED
:') painful much?
(for those who ask: yes i've got plenty of mind-reflexes in order to minimise losses)2 -
fml. too tired to learn something new. after staring at the screen for half an hour i give up, shut down brain and await to wake up more frustrated because lack of creation.
thought i'd spend a good time coding during my vacation but instead i am exhausted of home restauration. i can hardly remember when was the last time i did something just for fun and not because it simply had to be done.1 -
Having no process at all;
Just randomly choose between texts, FB Messenger, WhatsApp, voice clips, and spread over random points in time..
If you do this to me: Yes. I hate you. -
1) A widely used compressing algorithm as my very own invention.
2) Master electrical engineering
3) An universal OS Kernel as my own invention. I will declare war on Linux and Windows -
So to keep me going through the day I sometimes entertain myself by adding funny comments to my pull requests. I sit there giggling to myself like some sort of lunatic and the rest of the office probably think I'm a nutcase.
Todays gem was:
Added timeout to prevent hanging. Bet they wish they'd had this feature in the 16th century
Honestly I think my talents are wasted here...1 -
Do u ever had the feeling that you're just too tired to do anything? Well I just had a full week of just doing nothing.. fuck this1
-
"Can you go through this hours-long process to reproduce an issue i saw and debug it? I don't have bandwidth."
"Sure, but I'm pretty sure the issue is actually due to your recent changes in [related feature], and I'm pretty busy myself."
"No, that's not how that works. Please figure out the real issue." (Strongly implying it was my fault)
*Goes through hours-long process to reproduce* (yes this procedure could be improved but this is a rant not a planning meeting)
*Of course, it was his change*
"Oh. Well, it's not really a priority." -
I’m always tired all the time. Depression and what not but today I am TIRED
Had an interview that requires vanilla javascript but I suck at algos even tho I was getting it done till time ran out. We gelled tho so I hope they see potential and move to next round.
But the good news is. I had a follow up interview based on a challenge. It’s the second I’ve ever had and I did well this time.
So much so that they’re booking another interview for tomorrow.
So I’m done with the technical portions of the process.
This is the first time I’ve gotten this far and I’m so happy. I’m hoping really that this is the one cause I doubt I have the energy and will power to keep going though the processes.
I’m so excited. It’s as if all my work is slowly showing and I’m getting closer and closer
Wish me luck guys. Hopefully I ace it as I come across well In General Chats.
This is my last application. If it doesn’t work I think I’m done with dev life and job hunt.
Fingers crossed I’ve found the one1 -
When you're fucking pairing on my fucking desk you have to glue your fucking fingers to the fucking keyboard! Stop picking your nose and your ears you dirty bastaaaaaaaard1
-
Making a simple 2d game in unity for a friend:
Never used unity or C#, but this looks easy. Gravity is already there, background is drag and drop, etc. That shit is fucking easy.
I think the hardest thing is going to be the textures, and inkscape got my back on that!
Anyway, I really need to sleep but I’m just reading the tutorial!
LET ME SLEEP FUCKING DEV BRAIN!2 -
!!!Question here!!!
I am enrolled in a full time course (bachelor of Engineering, Computer Engineering), currently in second year, will be in third by June 2017, and I have a job offer from a Japan Based Company, so it legal to do the job while being enrolled in a full-time course? Also, if I drop from the course and focus on job, so will that be good?
The package is really good, but the degree is important (at-least in India), I want to know about other parts of the world also.
I am inclined towards joining the job, but then it frightens me as the culture here is (degree is important, talent is not!), but I have faith in myself, after watching many motivational videos on youtube, I feel like following my passion, but then I need to be practical as well.
What to do, what not to do? I need your help, please let me know what are your views?4 -
Hello sysadmins, silly question but can I consider Python as a serious alternative to powershell/bash? I have always hidden myself from learning bash considering myself not that kind of guy hacking around in Linux. Thanks in advance4
-
Am I the only one that hates working with other developers who think they are some kind of God? I mean it's good to have someone confident in your team but it's so frustrating when he or she starts changing code because "this is better".2
-
So I work in a startup as an intern. My tasks are usually done before deadlines. These folks pay me at my due date after reviewing my work. This month again I have completed my task, so I asked for new work. These people are waiting for my pay day. Just a few days before my pay day they will surely give me a task and question me why I haven't completed it on time. Fucking annoying...3
-
I love it when a coding assignment is to take the last assignment and do one thing more optimized !!! 😄😄
All the hard stuff is already done and all I have to do is some optimization that I’ve done before in other languages and just have to implement in this one 😄6 -
What's wrong with me?
Almost every day I do 1-2 hours extra-time to finish some problem I stucked with. I can't just turn off my computer at the end of day like my colleagues do. It always seems like I doing nothing while trying to solve some problem without any result. So I feel guilty and try to do more. It exhausting me and I do even worse. And so on. Recursively. Any solutions?
Thanks in advance! =)4 -
When you want to slow down with coffee and you're having a very shitty day on which nothing works out for you..1
-
One of my colleagues from work:
- Looks through the code and finds a chunk of code that looks fishy (to her)
- Sais that she never understood why it was implemented that way
- Deletes the chunk of code
- Starts rewriting it
- Remembers why it was done that way
- Reverts it back and moves on to something else
Just why? It would have taken her 1 min to read the code ... -
And even worse there are plans to upgrade to WildFly (which is newer, up to date, more secure.. but this is put lower on the priority list by PM :/2
-
Getting tired of old business types managing software projects... I really don’t care if you have fifty years of experience in managing loans in banks, please don’t try to manage software or data projects... this is sooo out of your realm of understanding.
PS I actually like this person, they are a wonderful human, but keep nosing in areas they have no knowledge, and derail the conversation from talking about things we actually need to discuss. Like “how do we build this?”5 -
Anyone use the coffee machine as a distraction when bored and between projects ?
Just trying out the different varieties... We have this weird "Espressochock" that's basically hot chocolate with a shot of espresso, shit is weird...1 -
Getting real sick of companies who think they can get out of obviously bad claims by making claims that are "less bad" and more technical. As if it improves the situation. But alas Huawei....
"No we weren't spying. It's not a back door. We just forgot that we left telnet enabled for 7 years."
Fucking really?! That's supposed to make you trustworthy?!3 -
For those of you .Net people out there (".Net sucks" Stallman fellators need not apply), what would a few practice .net core web apis and MVC projects cost to host on Azure? They wouldn't be touched except by me and any people who want to see my portfolio projects directly, so I think that doesn't count as time for cost, but I'll be honest and say I don't entirely get their pricing.1
-
Hey guys, I am implementing some integration tools for Blokchains and planning to make it SaaS ( Software as a Service ). The biggest problem for me is to generate a unique name for that project. Can you help me?3
-
Away in vacation for a week, PM keeps mailing me issues that need solving asap, let me be man let me be....2
-
Hey. Need to beef up my portfolio as well as gain more experience.
If anyone needs some design/styling help or input please hit me up!!
Doesn't have to be paid actually.7 -
Annoying things
while programming: the thread
* Don't go off topic
* No meme images. Even if they are related to the topic
Have fun! -
Ayy. It's time. Someone wants to hire me to make a site for them...
How much do I charge? 😭. They also said they want it as an exclusive design that I can't do for anyone else. It's one of my first proper ones so its basically my baby
But yeah. How much is appropriate?
Do bare in mind that I'm broke af 😂. Suggestions in GBP please6 -
Sharing is caring, and continuing the streak, I have 3 invites to enki with the code: ASABE108
Enjoy :)4 -
Does anybody use raspberry pi as Kubernetes node? I kinda have an experience of my pis do not have enough memory with 1Gb. The system would run about 5 minutes, and each second more memory would be allocated. After that, every node shut itself down. Is there anything I can do about that?2
-
For the past 3 days, I lose my motivation to code. Im pushing myself but I didnt work. And I dont like it!!!! 😭😭😭 fuck!!!
Anyone here can give me some advice or atleast a motivation to code? Fck!! i dont freakin like this5 -
I'm usually a complete moron, but I've smoked a series of technical interviews this week. Hell yeah osmosis learning2
-
Aaaah, my delighted daily dose of wonderfully not-written-by-me CSS I have to edit from time to time...
I always feel so enlightened after spending time in those files.2 -
I’m really getting fed up with the situation I am in!
I was brought in as a development lead, which in my eyes and from the sound of it leading on the technical delivery, inspiring and leading technical development decisions and generally leading my team (one additional dev) in the delivery of work items and user stories which the PM or Business analyst produces..
Then it “evolved” into what felt more like a development manager where I was reporting to senior management on KPIs and stuff, I sucked it up and did it.
Then they brought in two new people which they call application specialists. These people spend all their time managing existing off the shelf applications, communicating with the vendor, running user groups where they work with our users on moving the product forward and planning the configuration and enablement of new functionality.
Because they are “developing” the application (in the same way a child develops, or the same way a story line develops and evolves) they fall under me..
So now I spend a split amount of time developing software and also managing what I can only explain as project managers, product owners...
Oh but then it gets better!! Now they want me(as well as our info sec lead and our infrastructure lead) to be a kind of all round delivery lead, gauging the requirements of a project, reporting in its risks to senior management, resource planning, everything a PM does! And also be the technical person delivering these projects!
Honestly, it’s seriously starting to take the fucking piss!
I am a technical programmer, a pretty good one if I say so myself, the developer reporting to me is good but needs hand holding which I am ok with! But would never be able to deliver an element of a product by himself in line with what we expect in quality of code..
Why would anyone think you take a person built and only interested in doing a technical role and make then a generic all round manager of a project??
I know why they did it! It’s because there are other managers in our department paid the same “level” as me, but because of their management responsibility’s , I however feel I am paid this much for my technical experience and abilities, thy are just blanket covering everyone the same at this level.
You would never get a manager at this salary scale with the technical skills they need, and you would never get a technical person with the skills interested in doing that type of management at this salary scale!
I’m just a mug and they know it!
So fucking angry!3 -
The mainland US is currently record-cold for overall, some states are as low as -70°F. 3/4 of US schools are closed. Except mine. It's -15°F here, coldest ever, and we're open. God forbid it flurries, though, then it's impossible to open the school!
My dad grew up in Alaska, so he thinks we're all pussies. Well... it's currently 37° in Anchorage, so it's warmer there than ANY mainland state!!! And we're all "pussies".
FML3 -
Sometimes it gets really annoying when your client tells you to do something in the beginning and you do it, but towards the end of the project they want us to do something else.
Arrrggghh -
My new goal is to get a great af job but still appear as open and looking online so it'll be turn to fuck with recruiters and waste their time3
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Infrastructure as Code is all fun and games until you end up needing asymmetric environments (as in, staging contains different services to production, that kind of thing) for cost-saving reasons...5
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I think frontenders should be classified as the most laziest in development. Look what somebody made for them: https://border-radius.com/10
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as a seasoned systems eng myself, i had huge mental block of "i am not a programmer" whining when starting to incorperate agile/infrastructure as code for more seasoned syseng staff.
leadership made devops a role and not a practice so lots of growing pains. was finally able to win them over by asking them to look at how many 'scripts' and 'tools' they wrote to make life easier... and how much simpler and sustainable using puppet/ansible/chef/salt... and checking in all our sacred bin files and only approved 'scripts' would be pushed thru automation tool after post review.
we still are not programmers or developers, but using specific practices and source control took some time but saving us loads of time and gives us ability to actually do engineering
but just have 2 groups of younger guys that grew up wanting to be the bofh/crumudgen get off my systems types that are like not even 30... frustrating as they are the ones that should be more familiar with the shift from strictly ops to some overlap. and the devs that ask for root now that they can launch instances on aws or can launch docker containers and microservice..... ugggg. these 2 groups have never had to rack and stack servers, network gear, storage... just all magic to them because they can start 50 servers with a button click.
try to get past the iam roles, acls, facls, selinux and noshell i have been pushing. bitches. -
While as an intern, colleagues at the startup are giving me no reason to rant (yet) but still I frequent this place because I love it here! Thanks for the stickers, they're simply awesome.
PS: Loved the cartoon,looking forward to the next one. 😁1 -
I think my senior does not really care to what I say. I told him that we need to study the core of spring framework before the mvc part so we can easily understand the source code of our client. And now that we're given a task to create and update new functionality on that given source code, him and our intern having a hard time finishing their task because they don't even know what @Autowired is.
Anyway good luck sir :) -
How do you guys come up with side projects? I'm as creative as a... Something that isn't creative. School starts tomorrow and I need a senior project for my software engineering degree but I'm having trouble thinking of anything.3
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Can any of you gentlemen kindly suggest me a good book on Data Science and ML.. because. I am busting my ass here trying to understand these fucking mathematical concepts.. PS I am a fucking beginners.2
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I do mobile. I've dealt with Android XML, windows XAML, iOS auto-layout.
Flutter is some new hot shit in mobile.
But for fucks sake, I bet they couldn't make more ugly UI creation way. I'm trying for a month already to go there and touch it with a stick at least.1 -
Why don't we change all conditionals from if to as long as?
as long as true:
as long as false:
Is it not beautiful?8 -
Soooooo last week was a long week, we have until the end of the month to achieve a big goal and this week was all about going to bed at 3 am or so and begin the day at 7 as usual, the weekend that I ussually take to rest and sleep was at the office too, if we dont get to the goal I will be more dissapointed than ever before
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That horrible moment when your 'documentation is something that happens to someone else' approach (due to lack of time) catches up with you and you have to go back and generate data dictionaries and diagrams on a deadline.
Gah -
When the opensource alternative is even better than the closedsource one
(Context: Slide for reddit is the best client of the bunch)2 -
Why does my Eureka client always try to connect on localhost ? If it's running as a docker container, it won't find the Eureka server on localhost.2
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I fucking hate our chairperson in our university
She always gloats that our university js the best in our country like wtf ever since the university got ISO accreditation they went batshit crazy with the students
They cant even land ABET-CAC. Honestly fuck them!! They even want me to shift to another course because i failed to attend 2 months of classes, I was treated for heart problem with proper med cert and all, but they still said that im not good enough that i cant survive in the field that i cant be part of the department because they want people who graduate from the university as top notch people. She even gloated that students in our department have freelance jobs before graduating. FUCK THEM!! Our profs doesnt even know how to properly be a thesis advisor, one of our profs teaching database file org. Doesnt even know hoe to code or even to query like wtf! One of our profs teaches ONLY 5 times in a semester
FUCK THEM THE CHAIRPERSON HERSELF CANT EVEN TEACH AND SHE IS STUCK IN THAT JOB FOR YEARS
Honestly this is why students are degraded! How can someone reach their potential with this how can a country prosper.
The throw that shit at me but i am a founder and president of a tech company running for atleast 2 years now (i dont let the department know of this) im doing shit just to make sure i get a diploma and support myself and the whole team but fuck then they cant even set uo a proper curriculum -
I wanted to build a platform for student who wants to do research and are having hard time finding a good professor within university or from outside, so naturally I started asking professor I knew and this is what I get:
Normally they will only hire students from within university unless student himself has funding, and even with that hiring students from outside is a lot of procedures.
And no, such platform probably won’t be that useful as they get a lot of emails asking about research.
Startup idea instantly killed.7 -
Make's running but i'm piping its output to a log file so i'm slowly starting to feel as though i'm about to end up slipping and doing a "sudo chmod -x /mnt/human/consciousness -R" please help i'm so fucking tired man...
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bitbucket you slow fucking sack of shit, we've confirmed with our remote team members that other people on other networks have it slow as shit too
I really wish we could convince our team to migrate to gitlab or github instead
can't tell if it failed to find the pull request associated with certain commits because it's slow a shit, shit (because it's atlassian bitbucket) or both
there is the small chance that maybe it's just the shit telecom industry in this country too on top of it, but things were acceptable before -
Err so i gave in and decided to set up my dev environment locally as opposed to cloud. Especially since I wanna do mobile stuff now.
But yeah. I had to revert to npm 4 for react native with sudo but now I literally can't npm install anything without sudo...
Should I be worried or carry on?7 -
I had to generate different kinds of graphs at compiletime and had to compile a graph and write down the code size for that specific width/height in addition to one of three implementations which all need to be evaluated. I computer scienced the shit out of it!
I wrote some Rust code that easily lets me build some graphs with the dimensions passed as input parameter. Then i wrote a method that converts the graph into the definition of the graph in a C header (sadly the only way) and wrote a bash script that executes that rust code with all possible dimensions and saves the header into my source folder. Then i build the application and write the programsize into a file.
In the next step i run a python script that reads all the generated files with the sizes and created a csv file which in turn can be used by excel/numbers to visualize the dependency between depth of graph and code size 😄
I had only some hours for it all, it is messy but works 😄 -
Wouldn't it be great to have feature to mark a rant as "read" and then a settings filter which says hide read rants on refresh?
One doesnt really want to unwillingly upvote/downvote rants to keep a track of read ones.8 -
I could write a fucking dissertation on why snek is objectively a piece of shit, together with all your favorite dumbass collections of syntactic diarrhea full of needless operators and toothless fucking conventions that make no sense in retrospect.
By that I mean to say among all of it's real world uses the foremost is screwing yourself, which is analogous to utilizing the fine hands of a classically trained violinist for virtuous masturbation. And you cannot fix it, you can only Keep It Solemnly Sucking.
Now I'm not saying that if they were humans their lot in life would be to get down on their knees and passionately blow me until my eyes pop out. All I'm saying is their lot in life IS to get DOWN and passionately BLOW me until my eyes pop out, to which the general scientific consensus is indeed yes, it is, and they absolutely should.
But back to commanding the demons trapped inside the sillicon and all the existing ways to to do so being terrible half-assed abortions that serve as a perfect encapsulation and prime example of mankind's greatest shame and failures. If I had to volcanically ejaculate for each time I heard a thorough and perfectly valid critique of insert flavor of fucking stupid, I'd be long-rotting dead from dehydration.
You think that's funny? A man just died creaming in his pants and we are all wiser for it, show some respect. Some people simply do not understand the value of humility, and I will be *proud* to anally humble them for it, free of charge.
Anytime, I swear, ANYTIME that I come back to a language I fucking hate and I'm immediately reminded of why I do everything in my power to avoid it, I invariably come out with the feeling that it wasn't quite as bad as the last time.
THAT is how I measure my progress: still swimming in a sea of deeply decolored and fermenting alien reptile excretion -- but I'm a much better swimmer. This isn't so bad, I may even ignore the burning desire to kill myself next time.
But I'm so blinded by your plump fucking tits that I can't even remember what was my point, I may have just delivered the verbal equivalent of complete mental castration. Again.15 -
Today is one of those days where I've got tons of ideas on how to implement the next part of my app's functionality. Then I remember I'm using Swift. Forehead, meet wall, again, and again, and again....1
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I need help understanding secured PayPal Express Checkout via my Webshop.
So I basically try to make a lizens system. At the web shop you can add an Server IP and buy my stuff for it. Now I don't know what to do about checking out. I want to use Express Checkout via PayPal but the JS API provided by PayPal seems pretty insecure.
Now should I use the Official PayPal API or should I use an PHP API found on the Internet?
And other things that could help my Webshop are welcome to!2 -
I have this sbt test that keeps failing on CI. Locally it works fine but soon as it goes through circle CI, shit gets fucked. Now when I incessantly keep rerunning the working flow without any change, it eventually passes and I am able to deploy. I have no idea wtf is happening or what to do about it. Isn't containerizatiom supposed to solve this whole worked on my machine conundrum? I am too unenthusiastic and numb to even feel anyway about this. Wish everything would end.5
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Question:
Is there a good tool I can use to design my UI with vuejs support
I am looking at bootstrap studio but since I will be using multiple JS script as well as .vue file, it doesn’t seem to be good. -
finally using git portable with usb repo for work related things! (no online repo possible) feels good man!7
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I spent 4 days making this:
https://txstc55.github.io/us_crime_...
Cleaning data, learning threejs, optimizing the search because threejs is slow as shit, etc
Tell me I’m awesome (please) -
Sometimes I have to connect to production database and alter my dev environment so I can “log in” as a user and see what’s wrong with their account. Once in a while there is a legitimate website issue that is unique to that user’s profile. Other times it’s user error, like the user not understanding that they have to connect their membership to their online account (they think signing up for an account will connect it automatically).
I don’t like circumventing the user’s log in like this, but sometimes it’s necessary since the website is so confusing. I inherited this website, so many of the problems were formed way before I took over.
My stakeholders want a log in as user feature for website admins to use. My manager and PM don’t think that’s a good idea right now since there are over two dozen people with admin access and admin access means access to everything in the admin (there aren’t options to give permissions as needed).1 -
1. Enter repository of proprietary Node package that you maintain
2. Run `npm outdated | tail -n +2 | awk '{ print "npm i " $1 "@latest" }' | bash`
3. push to master3 -
The ransomware which has been affecting many places over the weekend is named perfectly for how I feel going into work this morning after being away for a week training wannacry.