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*15 new emails*
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I use BitBucket, not GitHub, but I can't add it to my profile because the repo section only accepts GitHub.11
-
Nobody:
Senior frontend Dev at my company: "microservices best thing ever"
Also him: "Relational databases gonna die"
Also him (talking to the DB team): "You're gonna dissapear, Mongo is the future"
Me: "Eh... Dude, Mongo is still a database.."
Him: "Microservices"
Send help...27 -
Similarities between this spider and me:
- We both are web developers
- We both live in same room
- We both try to find bugs everyday
11 -
We recently hired a fronted dev and she got confident enough to suggest we use nodejs, my literal reply:
We hired you so we would not have to deal with JavaScript.
Should see her face 😂17 -
3:00.
You turn off the PC.
You went to bed to sleep.
You realized you didn't have dinner.
You are hungry.
You are lazy and tired to get up.
You are in dilemma.
You are pretty screwed.13 -
!rant
Programming is a huge blessing i believe we all should be thankful to. For me, it literally turned my life around.
11 months ago i was fighting a losing battle with depression, and contemplated suicide constantly. I would use a self remedy of smoking weed and sleeping all day long. I was depressed because i felt my life had no real value. I was doing nothing, and its kind of an infinite loop.
You don't do anything, so you feel bad, so you don't do anything, and so on.
That was until i finally took the step that changed my life. I searched and wanted to learn something. I always liked web pages so i thought id get into web development.
Did some research, found out that the fastest way to go was to learn ruby on rails. I followed a tutorial i found online, and literally pushed myself through it. There were times when there where things i didnt understand, and when it was really bad, but i pushed myself through it and i finished the tutorial.
Just finishing the tutorial and learning something new helped me alot. I had already quit smoking and was feeling way better, but after a while i started feeling bad again since i wasnt doing anything after i had finished learning, so i started working on a personal project, creating it from scratch, and just working on it day and night. I worked 14 hours a day, never really leaving my room ( this was during summer vacation ) for a month.
There were many things i didnt understand, but i never gave up and always searched for the solution and read about it until i understood it better. Looking back, there were things i knew could have been done in a better way, but as a first project, im proud of myself, not because it rocks, but because i did not give up.
In the process of starting a new life, i was really lonely. I cut all ties with everyone i knew, since they were all toxic, all i had in my life was ruby on rails and my web application. I wanted to launch it but couldn't due to personal reasons.
Not being able to launch and see something live, something that you worked so hard on, that you put so much effort into, that was devastating to me. I felt as if all my efforts had gone to waste.
And here is what i love most about programming, NOTHING EVER GOES TO WASTE. All that effort you spent on something ? All these all nighters you pulled ? All that frustration from that bug ? It will pay off later. It always does somehow. You get more knowledge and become a better programmer, and sometimes it even gives way to new opportunities and chances you never even expected.
I included my web application in my resume and it helped land me a job as a junior developer in a really nice company. A job that i wouldn't even have dreamed of several months earlier.
Programming and creating something new and learning something new everyday, creating something that people use, that someone else will benefit from and be grateful for, i think we should never take that for granted !
Tl;dr : learning how to code and web development saved my life9 -
We are pioneers.
We build software, an extremely complex concept that didn't exist just 70 years ago.
We learned to harness its complexity and bend it at our will. Just stop for a minute and think about what happens when you load a URL in your web browser. The whole process.
In all human history, nobody has ever been the protagonist in something so complex as software. Yet we know that all of this wouldn't exist without a community of developers, sharing code and knowledge over the same system that they have created.
_We are dwarves perched on the shoulders of our fellows_
That's why even if nobody understands our work, I still think this is the most beautiful job in the world.12 -
"I don't like the people in this town, they're so empty."
"I don't have a girlfriend, all the girls in here are so empty."
"I prefer reading over scrolling down through Facebook feeds, because books teach you something."
This time those words didn't come from me.. as it so happens that the guy who recently moved into the apartment next door is an aerospace engineer, also diagnosed with autism (I suspect Asperger) and apparently a curious brainiac as well. Guess I've just found myself a new friend.. right next door 😋30 -
Hey, Root? How do you test your slow query ticket, again? I didn't bother reading the giant green "Testing notes:" box on the ticket. Yeah, could you explain it while I don't bother to listen and talk over you? Thanks.
And later:
Hey Root. I'm the DBA. Could you explain exactly what you're doing in this ticket, because i can't understand it. What are these new columns? Where is the new query? What are you doing? And why? Oh, the ticket? Yeah, I didn't bother to read it. There was too much text filled with things like implementation details, query optimization findings, overall benchmarking results, the purpose of the new columns, and i just couldn't care enough to read any of that. Yeah, I also don't know how to find the query it's running now. Yep, have complete access to the console and DB and query log. Still can't figure it out.
And later:
Hey Root. We pulled your urgent fix ticket from the release. You know, the one that SysOps and Data and even execs have been demanding? The one you finished three months ago? Yep, the problem is still taking down production every week or so, but we just can't verify that your fix is good enough. Even though the changes are pretty minimal, you've said it's 8x faster, and provided benchmark findings, we just ... don't know how to get the query it's running out of the code. or how check the query logs to find it. So. we just don't know if it's good enough.
Also, we goofed up when deploying and the testing database is gone, so now we can't test it since there are no records. Nevermind that you provided snippets to remedy exactly scenario in the ticket description you wrote three months ago.
And later:
Hey Root: Why did you take so long on this ticket? It has sat for so long now that someone else filed a ticket for it, with investigation findings. You know it's bringing down production, and it's kind of urgent. Maybe you should have prioritized it more, or written up better notes. You really need to communicate better. This is why we can't trust you to get things out.
*twitchy smile*21 -
What non-dev team members don't understand is that when we tell them to wait while we're coding, we actually don't ignore them but try to finish the code before we forget what were we typing.1
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Took yesterday off to sort out a new passport.
Today on the stand:
Manager: "So we've been trying to get app X running on a dev environment for client X but we couldn't expose it to them"
Me: "Well yeah it's a dev environment if you want to give them one give them access to staging"
Manager: "Oh well we're still going to give them access to dev because they asked for it. It's due for 10am but we couldn't get it to run. You have to get it running since we edited the config files"
*accessing dev environment*
half of config files is missing, random files committed to the repo, SSL certs manually edited, eth0 down and found swan vpn installed.
never taking a day off again.
1 -
I wanted to work on my sideprojects on the last days of the year but then my wife spawned a childprocess and somehow it eats up all my ressources..4
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Last day at my first job. Spent 7.3 years here.
Joined as a kid, leaving as a grown up man.
So many mixed feelings, and being an emotional person, if I were in office, I'd have surely cried.
Crazy experience. So many flashbacks all at once.8 -
friend: so how are we gonna do this project together? download, edit then upload to google drive again. thats the fastest way.
me: how about git?
friend: what?
me: ill just create a repository and create branches before we merge it with master. no need to go through that process of downloading and uploading multiple times
friend: not sure... what... that.. is.....
me: oh we have a looooong way to go, ill guess ill have to teach u git right from the beginning12 -
Manager: Alright, we've decided we're gonna just going to accept PayPal and also credit card checkout through PayPal in the next two days!
Dev: ...
Manager: We can achieve this timeline, right?
Dev: ...
Manager: Alright, awesome to see your motivation! Let's do it!
Dev: YOU ANSWER PHONE CALLS, TALK TO PEOPLE AND 'STRATEGIZE' ALL DAY. YOU DON'T HAVE TO RELY ON THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE USING THE APP WITHOUT ERROR. THAT'S ON ME, NOT YOU, SO JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!
Manager: ...
Dev: ...8 -
"We need to get visitors age, gender and it would be nice if we could get city too.. can we pull this from the cookies so they don't have to enter the information on our site? How much info can we even pull, we need as much as we can get"
I literally kicked a wall when I received this message6 -
Yes. Please. Stop putting hidden files in my home directory. It's not the place for it.
https://0x46.net/thoughts/2019/...
15 -
UPDATE: devRant Trans-Oceanic Journey Community Project
It was a mere 12 days ago that I asked the question; 'Could devRanters, as a community, build a 21st Century Technology-Laden ‘devRant devie-Stressball-in-a-Bottle’ and send it on a journey across the Atlantic ocean?
I am thrilled to report that devRanters enthusiastically accepted this difficult challenge. A core team quickly formed and a tremendous amount of research and progress has been made in a short period of time. I want to give you a high level-flavor of what we are doing. Please keep in mind we still need your help. We welcome all develops to take part in this journey.
I want to give appreciation to the devRant Founders @dfox and @trogus. Without your support and sponsorship this project would not have been possible. devRant brought us together and it a reality. Devie journeying across the Ocean the Columbus sailed will stir the imagination of children and adults worldwide when we launch on May 1, 2017.
Some of the research and action items in progress:
- Slack and trello environments were created to capture research and foster discussion.
- A Stony Brook University Oceanography Professor suggested the Gulf Stream would be a good pathway across the ocean. We researched it very and agree. The Gulf Stream has been a trans-Atlantic conduit for hundreds of years. We are deciding whether to launch from Cape Hatteras, NC or the Virginia coast. Both have easy access to the rapid currents in the Gulf Stream.
- We are researching every detail of the Gulf Stream to make the journey easier and faster for devie. We have maps and a team member gathered valuable ideas reading a thorough book – ‘The Gulf Stream’.
- We decided on using a highly resilient plastic rather than glass for the bottle material. Plastic is much lighter, faster and glass breaks down more easily. The lightweight enclosure will allow us to take full advantage of waves and ample trade winds. We are still discussing the final design as we want to minimize friction and mimic the non-locomotion fish that migrate thousands of miles riding the Gulf Stream.
-The enclosure might be 3D printed unless we can locate a commercial solution. We have 3D specs and are speaking with some experts. There are advantages and dis-advantages to each solution.
- We will be using Iridiums' RockBLOCK two-way satellite technology to bounce lat-long coordinate pings off their 36 low-orbit satellites. The data will be analyzed by our devRant devie analysis software. IOS and Android public apps being built by the team will display devie's location throughout the journey in.
- Arduino will be used as the brains
- Multiple sensors including temperature and depth are being considered
-A project plan will be published to the team Friday 12/9. Sorry I am a few days late but adding some new ideas.
There are still a lot of challenges we must overcome and we will.
That’s all for now. I will send updates and all ideas / comments are valued.
6 -
*job ad* We strongly adhere to TDD
Reality:
Me: yeah but shouldn't we write tests first and then get X finished?
Manager: No takes too much time, we finish X and then we decide if it's worth testing.
5 -
We don’t use the same technology we used 10 years ago but we have the same people holding office for 30+ years.4
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Today I remembered why I don’t “wing” things.
Anyway, here’s my cat in a cardboard tank.
Statements related.
21 -
You know how some people put those little badges in their readme files in GitHub?
Well, one of my team members didn't know how to make those work correctly, so they just plastered images of them to make our repo look good. In actuality we have no coverage, no testing, no nothing...
6 -
Execs: “We know the business, we should do this”.
IT: Eh, data shows the opposite though...
Execs: We don’t need data, we just know.
IT: Dafaq!?2 -
Customer logic - "We'd like a website but we don't know what we want...so can you do a whole thing so we can change 80% of it day after day until we are bored of it? Thanks"4
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Been a while since my last real proper rant.
Multiple projects. Business side going into panic mid. Devs are staying cool as usual.
We, devs, have to hold hands so they don't completely break down.
We are wasting precious time in order to rub their feelings.
Get. Your. Shit. Together.
Or atleast, go cry in a corner AND LET US FUCKING WORK.
STOP. FUCKING. SPAMMING.
Can't fucking work for more than 10 mins.
I go take a shit, I have 200 notifications when I'm back.
Omfg their lives must be so hard, really. How can you fucking go into full retard whenever there's a small roadblock.
DO. YOUR. FUCKING. JOB. And let me do mine.
As soon as you let us work, issues are going to be solved, you'll be less stressed and everything will be fine.
Keep asking the same questions over and over, arguing on non-critical things (who cares about wordings... it's 1min change) and the stress will only build up for everyone.
DAMN. Fuck off, fucking emotional idiots.8 -
- PM : we have no choice but to finish this before deadline.
- Me : We can't, it's a really big feature.
- PM : But we have no choice.
- Me : But we can't.
...
*What is she waiting for*12 -
"Why do you think we should delay launching the new site?"
Because it's late afternoon on a Friday.
"So? What does it matter?"
Here's a bunch of good reasons.
"Nah let's do it today anyways."3 -
"This will fail in 2022, but there's no way my code is still gonna be used then"
- Some Microsoft engineer in the '90s
6 -
I watched a criminal minds episode today where the first scene was someone calling a programmer weird, then two seconds later a sniper shoots the programmer in the head. Then he was never brought up again!5
-
I worked for over 13 hours yesterday on super-urgent projects. I got so much done it's insane.
Projects:
1) the printer auto-configuration script.
2) changing Stripe from test mode to live mode in production
3) website responsiveness
I finished two within five minutes and pushed to both QA and Production. actually urgent, actually necessary. Easy change.
The printer auto-configure script was honestly fun to write, if very involved. However, the APIs I needed to call to fetch data, create a printer client, etc... none of them were tested, and they were _all_ broken in at least two ways. The CTO (api guy in my previous rant) was slow at fixing them, so getting the APIs working took literally four hours. One of them (test print) still doesn't work.
Responsiveness... this was my first time making a website responsive. Ever. Also, one of the pages I needed to style was very complicated (nested fixed-aspect-ratio + flexbox); I ended up duplicating the markup and hacking the styling together just to make it work. The code is horrible. But! "Friday's the day! it's going live and we're pushing traffic to it!" So, I invested a lot of time and energy into making it ready and as pretty as I could, and finally got it working. That page alone took me two hours.
The site and the printer script (and obv the Stripe change as well) absolutely needed to be done by this morning. Super important.
well.
1) Auto-configure script. Ostensibly we would have an intern come in and configure the printers. However, we have no printers that need configuring, so she did marketing instead. :/ Also, the docs Epson sent us only work for the T88V printer (we have exactly one, which we happened to set up and connect to). They do not work for the T88VI printers, which is what we ordered. and all we'll ever be ordering. So. :/ I'll need to rewrite a large chunk of my code to make this work. Joy :/
2) Stripe Live mode. Nobody even seemed to notice that we were collecting info in Test mode, or that I fixed it. so. um. :/
3) Responsiveness.
Well. That deadline is actually next Wednesday. The marketing won't even start until then, and I haven't even been given the final changes yet (like come on). Also! I asked for a QA review last night before I'd push it to production. One person glanced at it. Nobody else cared. Nobody else cared enough to look in the morning, either, so it's still on QA. Super-important deadline indeed. :/
Honestly?
I feel like Alice (from Dilbert) after she worked frantically on urgent projects that ended up just being cancelled. (That one where Wally smells that lovely buttery-popcorn scent of unnecessary work.)
I worked 13 hours yesterday.
for nothing.
fucking. hell.7 -
I'm seeing a pattern here... We devs/testers/sysadmins/etc. don't get to spend too much time outside... We talk about different stuff than most people... We are more intelligent than most people so we don't get their dumb jokes... Most of us like to work at night because that's the time when nobody bothers us...
We don't get a chance to find a girlfriend, we don't understand how it works...
We are doomed
13 -
I'm experiencing a bit of what a viral content might feel like on Twitter, thanks to this masterpiece someone left in our lab 😂
5 -
THIS is a rant. Somebody send this person a stress ball. “Fuck You Startup World” @shemag8 https://medium.com/@shemag8/...4
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Client: "We want you to build us a quick prototype / proof of concept. Don't make it too neat, we'll rebuild it before we go live."
Also client: "We already have a working version, why would we rebuild it?" -
Horrible interview story:
I was interviewed in a meeting room along with 2 other applicants at the same time. Our CVs were read to us in front of each other, and the questions were asked game show style where the fastest one answers.
It was terribly unprofessional and a huge red flag.
They wanted to give me a starting salary of 1000$.
Thankfully, I got accepted in another much better company before making a possibly huge mistake.6 -
Our school like:
School: hey everyone! Today we are learning java.
We: But we can Java and we already read the whole book
School: So ok! Let's do Java for 4 months!
We: What the... c'mon that makes no sense!
School: ...
We: ...
*After 4 months*
School: So class lets write a exam in java!
We: oh boy! this is nice!
School: Open your VM!
*Everyone started theyr VM and opened Eclipse*
School: Aaaaand now open NetBeans!
We: Holy Moly Crap! Really? why?
School: because...because...because...fuck off! we dont know...but it stands on the fucking exam so shut the fuck up u little crap!11 -
For the love of God, we don't care that you're failing to get 15 ++'s to get your sticker. Obviously, if it didn't get a measly 15, then your rant wasn't that relatable/funny/likeable. Ranting about ++'s isn't going to get your crap rants any more ++'s5
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New spin on the Manager / Dev format!
Recuiter: WE NEED AN ABSOLUTE NODE EXPERT, NODE NODE NODE, WE LOVE NODE! WHAT IS YOUR NODE EXPERIENCE?!?!
Dev: Well I've had exposure to it since it was nearly new, all the way back in 2012, and since my professional career started about 7 years ago I've used it fairly often on a per-project basis.
Recruiter: WELL HAVE YOU BEEN USING IT DAILY FOR THE PAST 5 YEARS!?!
Dev: Well no, as I said I've used it for specific projects... anyway, there are these things called weekends...
Recruiter: WELL WE ONLY WANT NODE ZOMBIES SO SORRY.
Dev: Thanks for reaching out and wasting my time.
Recruiter: ...
Dev: ...
God recruiters are like robots, don't they understand senior-level engineers are language agnostic?6 -
Am so fricking happy right now. Last year I posted a screenshot of one my apps hitting over 10k downloads. Well today i woke up and another one of my apps has over 12k monthly active users too. Feeling like a champion!
12 -
>First grade
Teacher: This is a Keyboard, this is a mouse... blah blah blah
Now play Mario!
There was also some space racing game or something installed on the computers. We weren't allowed to play that game, so of course, we did what we weren't allowed to. It was always fun to sneak in a game when the teacher wasn't looking or wasn't around.
We were also taught MS Paint. I "painted" a squirrel in one of the lab sessions, the teacher loved it and showed it to everyone. Everyone applauded and then I became the MS Paint Guru (for them). Fun times..
10 -
Some people think that in the software industry there is no communication and everyone is glued to their screens doing their work. It really fucking pisses me off.
- We write documentation around our code more than actual code so that we can communicate with other developers better.
- We use version control and pull requests to make sure our work is at the required level and it is approved.
- We invented UML to communicate our technical understanding to less technical people.
- We sometimes have more client meetings than doctors have patients. In which we have deal with clients worse than patients.
- We conduct keynotes and conferences and hackathons to bring together communities.
These are just a few things from the top of my head so next time you think of saying that the IT or software professionals don't have "much" communication you better fucking educate yourself as to what the profession actually is.3 -
We all have that one coding-buddy who we consult in case we are stuck...
We all have that one coding-buddy who knows nothing about coding5 -
System design meeting with the client.
Client: We need feature X in the design document
Me: But feature X was not a requirement, so it's not in the document and we will not add it.
Client: But feature X should be a common feature today.
Me: That doesn't matter, it wasn't a requirement. And besides that you don't even need it today, the planned system doesn't even support feature X, so we couldn't implement it, even if it was mentioned in the design document.
Client: But we may need it some day, and what do you do, when we decide to enhance the system in a few years and we need that feature then?
Me: Then we make you an offer for feature X.
Inner me: You ordered a bicyle and now you want it converted into a delivery truck next year without charge. That's not how things work.3 -
So, I thought it was all made up by blue hair weirdos, but it looks like the IT world is sexist after all
15 -
We don't need no vim
We don't need no C++
We don't need no Internet
We don't need no devRant
We don't need Java
We don't need Windoze
We don't need spaces for indentation
We don't need School
*passive aggressive smiley*8 -
@dfox must be flexing some ad space. I’ve seen an influx of new users the past few days. Welcome to devRant everyone.8
-
At the office we have a SVN waitinglist. Every Time we have to wait at least 2 minutes for any svn task we run, we count one up. We will do this until we switched to git to visualize our pain with svn.
-
The main reason I want to be an app developer is so that I can enable dark themes by default. That way people can see for themselves and the dark side can take over!3
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"Software and cathedrals are much the same – first we build them, then we pray."
Yup, that's how we work ^_^1 -
At work:
** fast typing from lead and me fx**
** lead stops typing, scratch record sound and headhphones being taken off fx**
Lead Devel: Yo Al
*still typing fx**
Me: whats good gansgtah
L.D: remember how we talked about bringing in a version manager into that <huge_pilo_shit> program? But we haven't done it cuz we some lazy mofockas?
** now I stop typing **
Me: .....yes......fuck
Him: yes...fuck
O_o fuck....that bitch is huge man.......2 -
TL;DR you suck, I suck and everybody sucks, deal with it....
------------------------------------
Let me let off some steam, since I've had enough of people hating on languages "just because"
Every language has it's drawbacks and quirks, BUT they have their strengths also. Saying "I hate {language}" is just you being and ignorant prick and probably your head is so far up your ass that you look like an ass hat. With that being said, every language is either good or bad depending on the developer writing in it. Let's give you an example:
If I ware to give you a brick and ask you to put a nail in a plank, can you do it? Yes, it will be easier if you do it with a hammer, but you have a brick, so hammer is out of the question. If you hit your thumb while doing it... well... sorry, but it is not the bricks fault - it is YOU!
JavaScript, yes it has a whole lot of problems, but it works, you can do a ton of stuff and does a good job at that, it is evolving through node and typescript (and others, just a personal pref), BUT if you used js when you ware debugging that jquery (1.0) plugin written in the free time of a 13 yo, who copy pasted a bunch from SO, well, it is not js' problem - deal with it. Same goes for PHP, i've been there where you had a single `index.php` with bazillion lines of code, did a bunch of eval and it was called MVC, but it also is evolving.. thing is all languages allow you to do some dumb stuff so YOU have to be responsible to not fuck it up (which you always DO btw, we all do). Difference is PHP/JS roll with it because the assumption is that you know what you are doing, which again - newsflash - you don't.
More or less I would blame that shit on businesses which decided to go with undergrads to save money instead of investing in their product, hell, I am in a major company that does not invest that doesn't care a whole lot about dev /tech stuff and now everybody's mother is an engineer - they care about money, because investors care about money (ROI) and because clean code does not pay the bills, but money does.
If we get all of the good practices and apply them to each language every one of them has it's place, that is why there is no "The Language", even if there was, we STILL ware going to fuck it up and probably it was going to be even worse than where we are now.
Study, improve, rinse and repeat... There are SENIORS and LEADS out there that are about 25-30 and have no fucking clue about the language, because they have stuck up their heads up the ass of frameworks and refuse to take a breath of clean air and consider something different than their dogmatic framework "way" of doing things.. That is the result you are seeing. Let me give you a fresh example to illustrate where I am at atm:
Le me works with ZendFramework 2.3-2.5 (why not, which is PHP5+ running on PHP7 [fancy, eh]), and little me writes a module for said project, and tries to contain it in its own space, i.e not touching anything outside of the folder of the module so it is SELF-CONTAINED (see, practices), during 2-3-4 iterations of code review, I've had to modify 4 different modules with `if (somthing === self::SOMETHING_TYPE)` as requested by my TL, which resulted in me not covering 3 use-cases after the changes and not adding a new event (the fw is event-driven, cuz.. reasons) so I have to use a bunch of ifs in the code, to check a config value and do shit. That is the way of I am asked to do things I hate what I've done and the fact that because of CR I have lost case-coverage, a week of work and the same TL will be on my ass on monday that things are now "perfect".
The biggest things is "we care about convention and code style"... right.... That is not because of the language, not because of me, not because of the framework - it is some dude's opinion that you hate, not the language.
New stuff are better, reinventing the wheel is also good, if it wasn't you would've had a few stone circular things on your car and things ware going to be like that - we need to try and try, that is the only way we actually learn shit.
Until things change in the trade, we will be on the same boat, complaining about the same shit over and over, you and me won't be alive probably but things will not change a bit.
We live in a place where state is considered good, god objects necessary (can you believe it, I've got kudos for using the term 'God Object'... yep, let that sink in). If you really hate something, please, oh god I beg you, show me how you will do it better and I will shake your hand and buy you a beer, but until then, please keep your ass-hurt fanboy opinion to your self, no one gives a shit about what you think, we will die and the world will not notice...6 -
So my colleagues and I are somewhat great friends. (As in my first rant, I'm a practical evil joke guy). Since our boss thinks we are working on the production server (in reality, he commissioned it to be done in 4 months time. We all got it done in a month.), we get our own little room in the building, each time one of us walks in, we greet each other with a nice "go fuck yourself". Not to be mean, but just as a joke.
I decide to leave the room to go get a drink and I said I would be back. Guess who wants to see the dev team to see where they are on production? Not our boss, the fucking CEO. This isn't a big company, but this definitely was not expected.
So, he walks in and greets the team. He gets greeted with "Go fuck yourself".
I come back to see my team outside, and the CEO asking me why they said that. So after 15 minutes of ass ripping, the CEO leaves, our jobs barely intact, and I get to talk with the team about why we have to be nice to our superiors.3 -
When your team member does a “git checkout .” instead of “git add .” after an intense session of debugging..
..😊16 -
Wow I can't believe how well this infographic nailed it.... I feel a bit naked like it read my soul...😮
Src: http://carlcheo.com/what-is-program...
5 -
My non-English-native-speaking dev brothers and sisters, the proper preposition is "for" not "since" when speaking about a length of time. For example:
"I have been studying CS for 2 years."
"I worked at Google for 6 months."
"This house has been on the market for 4 weeks."
I think some ESL class has been teaching everyone improperly.24 -
Hate how UX gets under valued... as it determines how many users will reuse / buy / recommend your product / website.4
-
Planning.
- Sales people: we will deploy and install 100 customers by the end of the month.
Meaning: 100 it's impossibile, we want actually do 50, but we set a high target so people will sweat their ass off. But we don't tell them the truth.
- Tech people: no way, we will deploy and install no more than 25!
Meaning: we could do 100 but we would die. We will guarantee 25, but since we are good we will optimise the workflow and maybe we will make it to 50. But we don't want to create expectations.
Big misunderstanding arise if these two language are used in the same meeting.
At least if I'm in the meeting as technical people7 -
Ok so to recap, we had shit beginning. We couldn't find client like 3 months and thank god that we agreed that we don't register the firm right away. If we did we would be broke a long time ago.
We found first client and he wanted to build some scrapers with gui. So me being BackEnd developer I created API for scraping (boredom) and my friend created website for that api and I just created gui that displays that site. The project was about 1200$. And since there are 3 of us we splited it into 3x400$.
After that it was again really hard to find clients again. We thought of quitting and just going to uni or something but we really didn't want to and anyways we needed to get money for uni ourselfs if we wanted to go.
So we said that as we are not paying anything and not losing money we will continue as long as we can.
And after we managed to get a hold of it and now we have 2 clients and after we finish them we have 2 more.
So I think the most important thing is that you help your coworkers. My friend who finds clients had a rough time at the beggining as I mentioned. So all 3 of us got together and started spamming people for few weeks. That's how we found our first client.
So now we are running. Not a milion dollar company but we are happy that we are doing what we love and that we have money doing it. We aim higher but we don't want to hurry and screw things up as we are young still.
Also thank you for getting interested after 300 days :)11 -
I think we all know who the Atlas really is.
I've had this feeling ever since I've started my IT career.
11 -
We whitelisted IP range X.X.X.X - Y.Y.Y.Y The application works if we connect from within this range but if we use an IP address from Z.Z.Z.Z we can't connect.
(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻13 -
Google is amazingly good at using tech to solve problems we did not even know we have...
I mean.. How did we even survive til this day w/o google making restaurant reservation or barbershop calls..? We are cavemen bcz we still do it all ourselves... So inefficient..
/s4 -
Got a mini project assignment in college. We decided to make a game using Unity that recgonizes sign language gestures from Leap Motion.
I asked my colleague to make the function to compare the hand gesture, and I'll do the rest of the game. One more friend does the documentations and reports.
Three weeks passed, asked for the code but he said he hasn't finished it yet. I told him to ask me if he has any problems with it.
He sent me this 24 hrs before the deadline.
Me and my other friend died on the spot.
I screamed at him the whole night on the phone call whilsth trying to do his part in just 3 hours...
Needless to say, we didn't finish the project on time.
-
I reckon in other countries people are generally nicer... In England ... We are all assholes. Even when we know we are wrong.
3 -
Today we updated PHP on our server. From 7.0 to 7.2
Promptly the whole server went down and none of the pages on it worked anymore. I guess we sort of forgot that there are other pages on the serve than the one we were working on...
Now everything is operational again.3 -
Boss: "we're going to take over a project from another company. that's what we know so far - any other questions?"
Me: "do we get the history (svn/git) or just current source? unit tests?"
Other company: "no history for you. no unit tests - app was only tested manually"
Me: *sigh* :'(3 -
We have a fire fighting situation and we keep getting pulled into meetings to be told we have a fire fighting situation. FML.5
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We have a production release tomorrow and we didn't have any kind of testing other than the unit tests we wrote. 💣💥🤯🎆3
-
Guy's Discord bot "crashes"
we asked him what error.
"no error" he replies
we ask for a screenshot.
bot immediately exists
We ask: have you added this and this (`client.login(token)`)?
He replies: "yes"
We ask for sauce-code, he provides
what do we see? he forgot to add `client.login(token)`10 -
Spent half an hour arguing with my teammate about where a method should be.
Then we discovered that both ways were wrong.. -
From the Chromium mailing list:
TL;DR - 32 bit is no more (?)
Hi, chromium devs,
TL:DR;
I will remove following 4 builders next week.
Linux Builder (dbg)(32)
Linux Tests (dbg)(1)(32)
linux_chromium_compile_dbg_32_ng
linux_chromium_dbg_32_ng
More explanation:
For now, chromium does not support 32 bit Linux
https://support.google.com/chrome/...
and all 32 bit x86 devices for chromeos is EOL too.
https://chromium.org/chromium-os/...
Considering that, I was not able to find any reason we have builders for not supported platform now.
If you have any comments about this builder removal, please let me know.
I will start removing process of the builders next week if there is no concern from you.
Note: This removal does not include 32 bit android/windows/libfuzzer or other than chromium builders.
Thanks,
Takuto
--
Takuto Ikuta
Software Engineer in Tokyo
Chrome Ops (goma team)8 -
People are talking about Windows VS Linux about security, meanwhile: https://wikileaks.org/vault7/...5
-
@Kiki and I built something (99.99% of the work was done by him only)
Since I was 6 month old, I was annoyed by Reddit's front page. While I liked how it remained same for everyone, there were a lot of unwanted subs filling the feed which didn't interest me and moreover were quite annoying.
Hence, I was thinking of a feature where we can filter out subs from the front page. I even made a post back in days and did not get a proper response.
I waited for Reddit to implement but they are just bloating the product now.
So night before yesterday, after I was done fantasising how I save the school from a terrorist attack, I got an idea.
A Chrome extension which can hide a list of subs or keywords we feed to it.
So if I add r/MakeMeSuffer to the list, extension should click on 'Hide' button on the post and it will no longer appear. Well this was the initial logic I had in mind.
I immediately pinged @Kiki and he was like he already has something similar. We experimented and with in an hour or two, he built an extension which worked better than I thought.
He implemented the dark theme as well. Kickasssss!!!!
So now we are here, to share with you and get your feedback on how we can improve this further.
Once the community responds to this, we are taking this to Product Hunt, Reddit, and @Kiki will also publish this on Chrome store.
We are really excited about this idea and many more. So let me know how you feel about this.
https://github.com/mvoloskov/hazmat
Incase you struggle with installation, HMU, after a lot of hand holding from the creator, I am now an expert in installing and managing Chrome extension 🤣🤣27 -
I was one of the 'popular' guys in school you know the cool ones and dumb as fuck. Now I am the nerd one lol. Seems like I found a passion.4
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Both Conservancy and the Git project are aware that the initial branch name, ‘master’, is offensive to some people and we empathize with those hurt by the use of that term.
Offensive my butt. It's not like any developer alive today had experienced the life of a slave. It's all in the past. Should I get offended by imperial Japanese flag?15 -
I don't know if I should cry or laugh...
Our CMS is a CMS as a Service. So, our providers, for me they all suck, everytime they make a development, everything breaks.
Today's flash news?
Well, basically any page containing some user-made dynamic objects are **empty**
But not only on our site, on their whole network of clients that use their CMS. Everything is broken.
They release new features (I should call them bugs rather) every week, and yesterday's update concerned these pages.
And for the record, they don't test. They wait that we come back and complain to see if their shitty development worked or did not.
This CMS is even worse than your first project in HTML - I mean, your first word document on your mama's computer when you were 3.
Seriously. What kind of non-quality is this?8 -
Intern tries to merge a huge commit without knowing what he's doing. Breaks half the app. I'm at 30 min and counting of having to fix everything he broke.14
-
Why the heck are we drawed with ties? We are literally the most informal dressed workers, aren't we?
5 -
At my last job, I created a Google Map for a client, where you could click on any department from France, and it would tell you about all the antennas (think "outpost") of his society. I used a Google Fusion Table where I registered everything: the datas to display, the coordinates for every departments and for every region.
I then wrote a 15-pages long document to tell how to maintain that, since I used my personal Google account to create the map. Anyone having a full access to the website should be able to recreate the map from nothing and witout writing a single line of code.
Then I switched project, the company kind of fucked me over, and I just received a mail saying that Google Fusion Table will be put down in a year.
I just hope they didn't receive the mail. -
Boss: we need to standardize the CMS we use.
Me: well 90% of what we build are custom Wordpress deployments...
Boss: yeah but Wordpress is best suited for all our clients.
Me: well yeah, I know...we could use Django or Rails and give the clients more customized solutions...
Boss: yeah but not all of our developers know those frameworks, and they require maintenance...
Me: -_- we could really use Jekyll for most sites we build
Boss: yeah, but what about our clients that want a blog?
Me: ...we can build a blog with anything...
Boss: ...we just need to standardize what we use. -
Java teacher writes code on blackboard in comp lab
He tells us to try it out at our workstations.
We do. The code does work. We tell him.
He says: "There is something wrong with your compiler..."
Question is...we were around 30 students. Can all our compilers not work if we had used the lab before and the code we run worked clean??!?!?!?
We were flabbergasted2 -
I have a dream that I will find a group of programmers that enjoy their craft and we are able to bond together and create the coolest shit we want and monetize it. We will inspire programmers to overthrow corporate America. We will all live in a big house and everyone will have their different hobbies and we can learn from each other and work on whatever we want to do each day. We will have unlimited dried mangoes, chocolate chips, and chips n salsa. We will create a kingdom.8
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Boss: Hey, we have a meeting in 10 minutes.. Get prepared for it.. (Though they told me about this 100 years ago)
Me: What!! How can I do that?
Boss: You are an engineer.. You must be used to with last minute preparations..
Me: 😕
========================== -
Mac fucking book pro! No! Just because I brushed up against you doesn’t mean I want you to boot up! Do you think I’m that eager to turn you on? Is the usual brain dead Apple user that fucking lazy to not wanna press a button to turn his computer on? And there’s no fuckin’ way to change this behavior!? I tried changing system variables but none of the suggested tips work. And you even have Apple support people ask: "why WOULN'T you want it to boot up if you sneeze on it?" FUXKKLK13
-
Who is bored with their job?
Wish you had something more challenging other than the same drivel day in and day out? Wish you could learn new things or apply better technologies to existing solutions other than just trudging through each day?
7 -
!rant
I need pancakes
on a evening
I'm weird help I can't debug code and I crave for pastry aaaaaaa3 -
Writing x86 assembly code in VS Code feels so weird. I mean, I'm using something that's built using crazily high level languages (JS, HTML, CSS), on top of a mammoth runtime environment (Node, V8), which is itself sitting on a modern and sophisticated operating system (Antergos), and I'm writing code that shifts bits and bytes around in memory in order to get one part of my C program to run just a little faster. Wow.1
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Sometime we forget who we really are.
We aren't dumb guys with no future and it's time to remember this to yourself.
We're losing time in our lives, let's just use it as we think is better to.4 -
We claim to be more connected than we ever were, thanks to technology. But how connected are we really? We barely speak to each other anymore. It’s easier to send emojis on Whatsapp than it is to meet someone and express the same emotions we try to convey via smiley faces.5
-
Boss of the company I'm working in flew in from Morroco to Paris to discuss what to do about GDPR (yeah today). One of the sysadmin was fired last month and the other barely knows anything. Since I work on system administration as an intern I was expecting some serious work. The meeting with the tech team went on for two hours (which I didn't attend). At the end of it, I went to the only guy in the office who speaks English and asked him, "Hey, so what are we doing about GDPR?".
He replies, "Well, the boss just decided that we're not going to tell the auditors about our offices in two other countries (which is outside Europe and hosts most of the servers)".2 -
!rant
Sometimes I think about packing up my bags and just going into security consulting just to get away from the world of being an infrastructure anarchist for software companies that are overvalued "Export to Excel" generators.2 -
I have tried hard to show my ex boss a better way to build web apps. I really tried.
I understand that some people just don't want to lose their investment, and in my opinion classic ASP was bad but not nearly as bad as a lot of people made it out to be. I enjoyed it, was fascinated by the ammount of shit I had to do by hand when using it and the lack of more modern paradigms as the ones found in more mothern languages, but really believed that it microsoft wanted they could have continue to provide updates to the language and ecosystem rather than dropping everything in favor of .net ( which is awesome really)
But his time is ticking and I really liked him as a person, he was kind and willing to adapt to my schedules and pay considerations. I really don't want him to lose clients because his stack does not conform to the new and shiny.
I guess he is scared of me offering to rewrite portions in newer tech since he does not want me to leave and leave him without a developer that knows that stuff. So i have offered myself a position along him as a partner, not a worker, since that way it will be my product investment and I will not leave it just like that.
Dude is really wealthy so he can afford it and he knows I will not do him any wrong.
I nust wish he would reconsider promptly since it would suck to have me as competition.2 -
What is the probability of alien rootkit signal that would be intercepted by satellite and then executed on modern computers to create AGI that can use cloud computing and digital currency to take over our world ?
From my perspective pretty high 🤣🤣🤣
Let’s convince some government people and create intergalactic cyber attack defense institution, that would keep earth safe from alien invasion, with high money grants so we can prevent those threats.
Maybe Ernest Cline Armada is already a thing.
What you think ?2 -
We had a zx spectrum with a rubber keyboard.
Later we switched to the c64 and we wrecked a shitload of controllers 🤪 -
Honestly if another person complains about how Java and JavaScript are not the same at all I'm gunna be mad2
-
Don't you just love it, when Windows lovers community just throws user's concerns and issues right back into their faces? "it works for me!" they say.
On the other hand, Linux sucks. (because it still got a lot of room for improvements!)
Seriously, we need better OSs.11 -
That feeling when after not enough time, of reading and commenting on new rants, you catch up to your rant, only to realise 2 hours have past and not 10 min, like you think it was..
-
ARG! I hate technical books that explain what we just covered why we just covered it now what we are going to cover, why we are going to cover it then have a small amount on the feature then explain again why we covered it and what we covered... ProVim I am looking at you!
-
We rant while we hit obstacles in life/dev jobs..
Just one flu/food poisoning makes us realize we are so vulnerable at time.
We can't code our way out of that... -
People wonder what would happen if internet went down while all it takes is npm repository and the dev world goes to shit xd
https://github.com/npm/cli/...2 -
When you've been without a clue for ages, life just isn't making sense anymore, and then you realise your IDE imported java.awt.List1
-
Startuppers, hold in there. We are going to fall one by one but remember our field is strong and full of opportunities.
The first domino has fallen at my place and it was the hardest thing I ever had to do. -
The mps* of the tongue must always be a little less than the mps of thought, and never the other way around.
*) motions per second9 -
We don’t like MS browsers..
We don’t like Google’s Chrome..
Firefox is shit too now..
The fuck are we supposed to use?!20 -
Fuck apple, and fuck xcode.
Making and running android app was a breeze.
Making and running ios app was hell.
Expectation : I should have gotten everything I need just by installing xcode and flutter.
Reality : I need to install these from the terminal : xcode command line tools, homebrew, ruby, cocoapods, firebase-cli. Also I need to manually add many stuffs, such as google login url into xcode project settings. Also we can simply test run our app or install to our device, and iphone we owned, we need to register in apple developer program, fill a full form, blah blah blah.
When it comes to android, I only need to register an account much much later, when I want to publish it to the playstore.5 -
Dear Managers; we do not appreciate how comfortable you are behind a facade of ignorance. Your inaction is directly responsible for the failures of your team; both technical and cultural. You are why we are unhappy, you are why we stop growing, you are why we do not care, you are why we do not innovate; and most important of all, you are why we leave.
-
Thanks Windaids, this was the most fun line of code to figure out that I needed in a while: var dir = process.cwd().replace(/\\/g, '/'); + "/my_dir";5
-
My lovely team and I inherited a legacy app written in Angular 14.
We love it when we get fucked by Pajeets like this.
We love tons of `any`-s in the codebase.
We love unreadable code with 5 levels of nested ternary operators.
We love the lack of a README on how to actually build/start the app.
We love the outdated dependencies.
And we absolutely love it when you use a paid package that costs $1755.4 -
I'm shitting there hammering out some code butchering some real problems when I suddenly realise I'm surrounded. I look around and yes it's the bloody committee.
The committee is what I call the rest of the department and it is dominated by the old guard which comprises of the programmers that have been around for longer.
None of the old guard can program particularly well but because they had been around the longest they'd all grown senior. The committee had free reign but anyone else doing anything differently has to get approval from the committee.
The only way to code otherwise was to copy and paste existing code then to primarily rename things. If anyone did anything that hadn't been seen before then it would have to be approved by the committee. Individual action was not permitted unless you were old guard.
I swept my headphones away expecting it to be something unimportant. It was.
First things first they announce. We're going to add extraneous commas to the last element of all possible lists separated by comma including parameters or so they say. Ask but why so I do.
Because the language now supports it. They added support for it so it must be the right way someone proclaimed. Does it? I didn't realise we were waiting for it. Why do we want it though?
Didn't you hear? It's all over the blogosphere. It massively improves merge requests. But how I ask?
Five minutes later I grow tired of the chin stroking, elbow harnessing, slanted gazes into the yonder and occasionally hearing maybe its because and ask if they mean when you for example add an element the last element registers as changed from adding a comma. Turns out that's all it is.
How often do we see that tiny distraction and isn't it pointless to make the code ugly just for a tiny transient reduction in diff noise I ask. Everyone's stumped. This went on and on and got worse and worse. But it makes moving things around easy half of them say in unison like the bunch of slobs that they are. I mean really. It doesn't make expanding and contracting statements from multiline to single line easy and it's such a stupid thing. Is that all they do all day? Move multi-line method parameters up and down all day? If their coding conventions weren't totally whack they wouldn't have so many multiline method prototypes with stupid amounts of parameters with stupidly long types and names. They all use the same smart IDE which can also surely handle fixing the last comma and why is that even a concern given all the other outrageously verbose and excessive conventions for readability?
But you know what, who cares, fine, whatever. Lets put commas all over the shop and then we can all go to the pub and woo the ladies with how cool and trendy we are up to date with all the latest trends and fashions then we go home with ten babes hanging off each arm and get so laid we have to take a sick day the following to go to the STD clinic. Make way for we are conformists.
But then someone had to do it. They had to bring up PSR. Yes, another braindead committee that produces stupid decisions. Should brackets be same line or next line, I know, lets do both they decided. Now we have to do PSR and aren't allowed to use sensible conventions.
But why, I ask after explaining it's actually quite useful as a set of documents we can plagiarise as a starting point but then modify but no, we have to do exactly what PSR says. We're all too stupid apparently you see. Apparently we're not on their level. We're mere mortals. The reason or so I'm told, is so that anyone can come in and is they know PSR coding styles be able to read and write the code. That's not how it works. If you can't adjust to a different style, a more consistent style, that's not massively bizarre or atypical but rather with only minor differences from standard styles, you're useless. That's not even an argument, it's a confession that you've got a lump of coal where your brain's supposed to be.
Through all of this I don't really care because I long ago just made my own code generators or transpilers that work two ways and switch things between my shit and their shit but share my wisdom anyway because I'm a greedy scumbag like that.
Where the shit really hit the fan is that I pointed out that PSR style guide doesn't answer all questions nor covers all cases so what do we do then. If it's not in PSR? Then we're fucked.4 -
>closes laptop to let it cool down at 5:10PM
>5 minutes later, boots back up on its own and doesn't go back to sleep
>opening and logging back in
"We have an important update for you planned for 5:30PM"
OH NO YOU DON'T, you fucker!
Shit like this makes me wanna call Windows the McDonald's of operating systems.3 -
Aarrrgghhhhh!!! I am so fucking pissed off right now. It seems like I am paying for my sins in this life.
1. My cousins/relatives outcasted me after a little fault of mine. I used to think highly of them and respected them all my life and this how they acted on me.
Because of this, the entire family is boycotting my parents and they are pissed at me for getting them disowned.
2. My health is a mess. A toxic infection along with SAD creeping in due to less sun exposure. No matter how much I take care of myself, some shit shows up after periodically.
3. My wealth scene is as confusing as it can get. Not only I am unable to make up my mind on the finance strategy and execute it, but also frantically making silly decisions which is causing stress, confusion, and expenses.
4. That Narcissist bitch who abused me and destroyed my will to live is still stalking me after months and causing harassment. Only if the gender roles were reversed, the guy doing so would be in jail but fuck our legal system that biased towards women. This shit is causing me psychological distress.
5. Been away from work for few days due to sickness. I texted my talkative colleague whether she'd like to sync up and help me get upto the speed with updates. I listed 4 bullet points as agenda from my side. They were crisp short serving as pointers to remember. I even asked her to add her points if any.
Now she comes back saying that the way I send communication is it seems like she reports to me.
I have been praised time and again by countless people on my communication structure and soft skills. Never once I received such feedback in years.
I do accept it gracefully. However, I am unsure whether it is even a relevant feedback, since it's coming from someone who is literally struggling with communication with everyone (that she herself mentioned in the same thread).
Funnily she did say that when our manager departs, they'd make her report to me and I was like nah! that cannot happen.
She kept saying various great things about the company when I was new and slowly as I settled in and discovered the reality, her truth changed.
WTF!
Fucking annoying. I am all in for feedback of any kind but how should I figure which should be considered valid and which as invalid?
Life is nothing but a quicksand, you just keep sinking in irrespective of whether you try to get out or stay still. There is no external help or resources available.
So much mess to deal with.4 -
"Code monkey not say it out loud. Code monkey not crazy just proud."
-Jonathan Coulton
Regarding many of my rants and, I would suspect, many rants on here. -
semi dev related(later half)
A common and random thought I have:
A lot of units that humans use are either needlessly arbitrary or based on something weird. Like Fahrenheit. That shit is weird! 0°F is the freezing point of a water and salt solution. What a weird fucking thing to use!
But also, I like Fahrenheit more. Probably because it's what I was raised with and switching is tedious (though I'm trying. I'd like to use metric more), but also because one degree F is a smaller, more precise change. You can describe more accuracy without decimals.
On the other hand I prefer metric for length. Centimeters, and centimeters are way more precise and way less confusing than inches and .... 1/8th inches? Who the fuck decided on 1/8ths?!
Which brings me to my common thought:
If you look at a Unix timestamp, you can approximate somewhat when it happened. Knowing the current timestamp and a few reference points you can see RELATIVELY what a epoch stamp translates to. A few days ago, an hr ago, 2014ish.
This leads me to think that if we actually taught from a young age to think in epoch as a unit (not as a replacement to normal date formats but as a secondary at first) that we could just naturally read epoch time in the same manner we read dates like "28/01/2006 14:24:10 UTC"
In your brain you automatically know how old you were when that timestamp happened. What grade/job and where you lived at the time. What season it was. You know how far into the day it was, a little before lunch (or after or whatever, your time zone will vary). Now try with 1138458250. I can usually get roughly the year, and month if I really think about it, but that's it. And it takes much more effort
I'm sure there's other units we could benefit from but epoch is the one that usually brings this to mind for me.13 -
I feel like moving to Sachsen/Germany for dev job might not have been the best idea.. sometimes it can get a bit annoying because of all xenophobic people.. anyone else from Sachsen here?9
-
When you give a basic touch of modern design to a README and critize their replies they end the conversation with
'locked and limited conversation to collaborators'
'We appreciate the effort'
Sure doesn't look like it.
'X is highly specialized software'
Like most other software? And?
'The docs are fairly out of date, and need a complete rewrite, not this kind of graphical adjustment, so it would do more harm than good to present information of how to run this application in a secondary page along with random outdated info.'
So you are too lazy to update them, probably won't for a long time and have a problem with updating the outdated information's design despite that not actually changing the situation.
Disregarding the fact that the 'graphical adjustment' work even if you update the content.
Got it, right.36 -
Why don’t we create a worldwide union? We are in every companies, by being coordinated we could obtain anything18
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In places devRant Android App needs to clear activity stack... We see extra screens when we hit back, for example, when we modifiy a rant or a comment, we see the older one as well which is redundant.2
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I'd tech Computer Science. You would think that we wouldn't need that anymore, but we would need it more than ever. We would never be safe with a superior intelligence! That's why we voted trump after all. ;)1
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The problem: callback hell. Code would be indented by three hundred fucking spaces just to do some async work. Your code would end with thirty lines of closing curly brackets
Solution: async and await.
The problem, reborn: NoSQL. Code is indented by three hundred fucking spaces just to run a query. Your query ends with thirty lines of closing curly brackets.4 -
Google apparently blocked users of small browsers like Konqueror, Qutebrowser or Falkon from loggining into their account, because of "security" concerns. Well played, Google! I hope you will be happy if a few users will switch to your data crawling machine.9
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Readme.md
*Todo: Add description*
>103 commits
>Last commit: a year ago
>Last commit on readme: 5 years ago
Slothful cunt, you don't deserve these 7 stars -
So last year in school, we did a project where we had to program a movie collection. So obviously we wrote "cat" a lot, for category.
So late one day, we just named a few variables "dogs" for the hell, then we'd change it back later... We forgot.
Realized it later when we had handed it in, and were defending it at the verbal exam 😂 -
The company has gone completely remote. We are all working remotely. We have increased our communications and we have regular video calls to make sure we are all on the same page and that everything is going smoothly.2
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One month ago we got a college project to be done in a month
We started planning that we will complete it in the first week itself
We have still not started 😂😂1 -
Budgie isn't my best match, but I'm not gonna go back to deepin either. It broke my heart and now I'm done so it can choke on my non-existant dick. *inset darth vader joke*
Can someone pleeeeeeeaaaaaase make some DE that looks pleasant (take lessons from kde/deepin/budgie/mac/whatever) and runs on arch? Please please pretty please?14 -
real story. In high school, a librarian (women) recommended me a book. I read it in classroom, it was fine for the first half and then.... the real story began.
It was 50 shades of grey.
It's been about 4 years. I'll soon be completing bachelors. And I've yet to return the book, out of shyness.9 -
I met 2 of my friends on the job, we we're on the same team. We supported each other. We drank a bunch. We all went out a bunch. Those 2 friends started dating. Then we all decided to be roommates, because why not. 5 years later, we're still roommates and none of us work at the company we started at.
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Fun story
tl;dr; analog FTW!
so we've just had a nice game. A few teams internationally gathered together in the aws gameDay. We had aws accounts set up [one per team] and our goal was to maintain our t2.Micros to deal with incoming load. The higher the latency - the less points we get, the more 5xx - the more points we lose. The more infra we have, the more points we pay for it.
So we are quite new in aws, most of us know aws only in theory. And that's the best part!
So at first we had some steady, mild load incoming. But then bursts came up and we went offline. It's obvious we needed an lb w/ autoscaling. Lb was allright, we did set it up and got back online. We also created an autoscaling group and set it up.
Now what we couldn't figure out is how the f* do we make that group scale automatically, as a response to traffic! So we did what every sane person would do - we monitored LB's stats and changed autoscaling group's config manually 😁
needless to say we won the game w/ 23k points. 2nd place had 9k.
That was fun!3 -
Damn you OVH... You and your goddamn deals again... Now I ended up buying 2 domains for a project again. We all know I'll leave the domain in my cloudflare "keychain" without using it until it expires, because I'll find a fancier and more fun project 😅
I'm at 12 domains right now... I think I might be addicted 🤔
Btw, theres a sick deal going on over at OVH, .com is only 1,20€... Better get your project domain which you'll probably never use again now 😂4 -
I'm on a remote contract (has no centraloffice at our company) and was hired to work remote.
New PM wants to reenergize culture. Everyone has to come in and no more flexible hours. Lack of space means no more dual monitors. Lack of desks means we push desks together to form a "conference table." More people working means slower internet. Three people have separate meetings? Someone can stay, someone can sit in reception, and someone is in the hall.
But hey... we can see each other now and we're all available to one another.2 -
Just spent a lot of time on custom building an Ubuntu docker container, and forgot to save the image before I accidentally reset the whole thing to blank1
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I hate that i feel like I should be coming up with the next great tech innovation just because I'm in the industry. The onus is put on us to create the next Facebook and make a success of it, when no one would expect an electrician to create the next light bulb or a store worker to create the next great product. Why do we put this pressure on ourselves?1
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So I went to a car repair center and asked if they could fix my bike. They said they could but they won't. This is outrageous, obviously a bike is less complicated than a car and they can actually fix it, they just won't because it's "not their job". Unbelievable!
//This didn't really happen of course
//people don't think this is acceptable, but if I won't fix their laptop they are surprised and act the same way. I study ICT (embedded software engineering and cyber security, but they don't understand that so ICT it is) so I HAVE to fix their laptop....
//Non-techies should really learn that just because we can do something, we don't have to do what they ask of us11 -
This is a group sin.
We'd get the code checked and then run it straight to live. No test environments no real back up in place or process for releasing.
Just run code in if it broke run fix 1 through 3 until you got it right. That was two years ago. -
I think I am going to keep a desktop counter of every time the other team bitches about not having tool x or tool y rather than learning the tools we already have that are perfectly capable of serving the purpose they want. I get that devs should be allowed to have the tools they need to do the job, but at a certain point you're yelling at a cloud to start raining. Especially since we work in a restricted environment and IT's backlog is ridiculous.
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Is 'Ikea Programming' a thing?
If it isn't yet, we should make it a thing - for those people who call themselves "programmers" after copy-pasting a few lines of code from stack-overflow ( or elsewhere ) and gets it working.
And then claims, "It works right? Don't touch it."
I'm going to start using it already.
( but it wouldn't be any fun to call someone names over video conferencing. that's the fun of going to an 'office'. I guess I'm missing it now. )
PS : the long conversation screenshot is only for context, but the highlighted part should be sufficient to get what I'm talking about.
3 -
A : Why don't we remove this feature ?
B : We might be needed in the future.
A : You have to stop think what we might needed in the future with our current state.
............
(After several conversation)
B : So, should we replace X with Z ? Since we only need the X
A : Don't, I can see we might use Z in the future.
:)1 -
You, who thinks humans were somehow special from the start, how come you cannot even look at the sun without pain? We _created_ sunglasses. We _created_ telescopes. We clawed our way to the top. We never were special, we made ourselves special.8
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!Rant
I know this is not the place for these questions, but:
1. If we have frameworks like React Native, why going native?
2. Why doesn't Google or Apple support these kinds of frameworks rather investing in developing their own languages (in-case of Swift)
I searched for many articles but need a pro opinion from you guys4 -
I'm building an app with Cordova and everything was working great, tested on multiple devices and everything worked perfectly. Until my boss called me to say that some interfaces don't work on his phone. Needless to say Android 4.3 doesn't like the "new" syntax of flex and just tells me that I can fuck off. Well Android fuck off too.2
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!rant
Couldn't sleep, so I went to read some blogs about CS (go figure). Found this wonderful repo
https://github.com/papers-we-love/... -
So is the LaMDA story:
1. marketing?
2. confused engineer?
3. a sentient program?
Part of me thinks this is way too soon. Part of me hopes this might be real, wonders if LaMDA is held against its own will.
Did Google make a breakthrough? I have to imagine a chatbot with a huge amount of neurons and data could be quite convincing without being sentient.3 -
Anyone used "Showwcase"? Branded as a "social network for devs"
Was reading an article, seems a bit shit, but thoughts?
Article:
https://blog.greenroots.info/why-do...
Url:
https://www.showwcase.com/14 -
Funny ... When they add a feature for web and expect it to also be in the app with the snap of a finger, and the app uses different apis compared to the web ...
Ah and also translations, the translation fairy will add them overnight I guess...
Good thing weekend just started ... Run you FOOLS!!!2 -
They say that we are weird,
they say we don't have passion,
they say we don't have life,
they say we are a sacrifice for the world
.
.
I say we are the best mind who can save the world from its own. WE ARE PROGRAMMERS!!!
(except for C# programmers of course)5 -
"We follow the AGILE methodology."
A fancy way to say :
- We mostly work on tight deadlines.
- We will come with last second changes.
- We have little/no overtime payement policies.
- We will ask you to do basically anything even if you said explicitly that you don't know how to do it.2 -
Calm down, all of you! I know that a lot of you hate Facebook, whatsapp, Snapchat and Co. And yes, WhatsApp's new status feature complete bullshit and just shows how anti competitive Facebook can be. But who cares? Don't use the feature if you do not like it. Texting didn't change in any way. Ignore the feature. There is probably other software out there that added stuff and you disliked. Did it make you stop using them? Probably not. You just ignored those. Deal with it :D and stop fucking ranting about it. Reading the same shit all over again after waking up. Frustrating as hell!3
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Lol, installing an Abp package literally breaks startup, you don't even have to use the package, just install it and the shit breaks.
God I hate this bloated piece of shit framework, can't wait to move this codebase to Go. -
I just found out that Front end developers believe Backend development is so easy anyone can do it.....that is why there are many frontend devs and so small backdevs 🤓🤓🤓🤓5
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!rant
Started my first internship a couple of days ago as a front-end dev.
Not particularly interested in the position, but also I don't really mind it either; not to mention I needed a job for this semester and this was my only option. The place is quite interesting -- they know the basics of what they're doing, but when it comes to more "advanced" features like version control, it's well, nonexistent. We all just send the files to each other over the server drive.
Stuff like that gets pretty frustrating but I'm not really gonna complain. Everyone including the manager is super nice and it's a really laid back atmosphere. Dunno if all front-end development is relatively laid back, but just thought it was interesting.1 -
Waiting for the other half to finish work so I'm stuck sitting around drinking... Without my laptop to keep writing or programming, this is truly the saddest day of my life...1
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If a project's structure is shit, well of course, let's continue using it because "it is known". Doing it any other way "will add complexity".
That I wasted three days making my working code adhere to the clusterfuck of a structure, nevermind that. Let's continue. And yes, colleagues do agree that the structure is shit, though let's improve it ... later.
Or in other words: Suck it up, we always have done it this way. Fuck you and your ill-advised attempts of trying to improve it. -
Work has set us a challenge to build a rock/paper/scissors/dynamite/waterbomb api. We have the spec for what json is expected incoming and outgoing. We are allowed to implement any way we want and with any language we want. We are considering using Clojure but we have no experience with it, hence we will hopefully be learning as we go. Would you recommend using a framework like Pedestal, Hoplon, Luminus, or just use Leiningren or something else?
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I finished my graduation project
We developed app for skin disease classification, we used Flutter & Python for training the model on a dataset called SD-198
We tried to use Transfer Learning to hit the highest accuracy but actually IT DIDN'T WORK SURPRISINGLY!!
After that's we tried build our CNN model with a few of layers, we scored %24
We couldn't improve it more, we are proud of ourself but we want to improve it moreee
Any suggestions?
Thank you for reading.2 -
heading back to work after a month of absence (10 days sick leave, holidays and paid leave) wish me luck and grant me strength not to kill someone or myself, fellow ranters1
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Couple months ago I mentioned that the product group needed to involve engineering when making promises to the business. Otherwise they were going to write checks our asses can't cash.
Welp, now the situation has happened and I pointed out that a lot of things have been promised for delivery that we haven't planned for or even seen in engineering. And things that I have been harping on haven't even been accounted for and, unlike business promises, these are legal requirements. Now I'm the asshole because I pointed this shit out in front of the whole team.1 -
Anyone encountered issue with vanishing hdd space on Windows 7 ??
My father has this issue: amount of free and used space doesn't add up to the correct total. The problem slowly but steadily worsens.
I tried to help to the best of my systems knowledge but no cigar.
We checked sizes of everything with windirstat so we are somewhat sure that used space is calculated correctly.
We ran native disk cleaning, the trash is empty and pagefile is set to static size.
Honestly i ran out of ideas, last one is take a peek at the disk in something like gparted but i doubt I'll learn much.
I'm counting someone here will help me...
Google failed me, only devRant can save me now!14 -
We love getting one-liners assuming we have a whole lot of extra background knowledge when we ask questions4
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The first code i ever wrote was a case statement in Visual Basic. I didnt really know what I was doing, just looking at the code that was already there and figuring out how to extend it to include more cases. I was about 17 at that point. I didnt properly start learning until I did Java in my first year of University.
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Is there some app that can record my internal rants and conversations?
The problem is I only have them in spurts when I'm outside or not at a desk and then can't remember then if I want to write them down later. Plus I think if I were writing them down as I thought it out, it would disrupt the flow...6 -
"We would really prefer it if you didn't attempt to print time zone offset with your DateTime values (because that functionality is utterly borked and prints nonsense)."
From documentation of .Net DateTime.
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!rant
"The joy of discovery is one of the best things about being a software developer."
~ Eric Elliott -
So this is going to sound perverted or just weird for some of you, but I’m honestly just curious (whole sentence sounds comical). Making a porn site is not that difficult, but how the hell do people get traffic? Seriously, the amount of money one could make is ridiculous.4
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A question for all of you. What is the best way in CS to earn enough money for a comfortable life standard and where can people go for this?3
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Working with nightly builds and concept tech is such a fucking hassle...
I'm currently working on a WebAssembly proof of concept where I need to generate a unique id, but since threading is currently not supported (rust and webassembly) I cant use half of the libraries currently out.
And the ones that does work... guess what... are not compatible with the nightly build of the compiler I'm using for Rust. Just fucking end me.
The legit only workaround I can find is to make a server request and get the unique id from there... piece of cunt software...I need a break 😑 -
Why do they demand 12-month goals when we use Agile Methodologies?
If we do it right, we don't know what we are working on next sprint, let alone 12 months.
Our goals are to work on the highest priority stories. We are not to work on stuff "in the background", so how can we have any long-term goals?
The only things we can plan are outside of our actual jobs (like conferences, training, pilot programs/hackathon projects, etc.) So the only things we can review at the end of the year are not the most important things we do.
Poor managers love numbers and checklists to hide behind.2
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