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"Art is never finished, only abandoned"
-Leonardo Da Vinci
"Software is never finished, only abandoned"
-Me8 -
(sensitive parts censored)
Friend: Hey, can you hack my (some website) account?
Me: Depends... What's your username?
Friend: (tells username)
Me: (clicks forgot password?)
Friend: I will give $10 if you do it. There is 2 factor authentication enabled.
Me: (silence) Ok.
Website: Please type the class number you were in in 4th grade.
Me: Hey, did you graduated BLAH elementary school?
Friend: Yeah.
Me: Ahh, I remember. You moved to BLAH elementary school in what grade?
Friend: 4
Me: Hmmm, I don't remember seeing you. What class were you in?
Friend: 5
Me: Well, I now remember. Stupid me. (smirks)
Friend: Haha. (continues to play games beside me)
Me: (Types in 8)
Website: We sent you a password to blah@example.com
Me: (uhh, heads to example.com and clicks forget password?)
Email: Please type the class number you were in in 4th grade.
Me: (wtf is this, types 8)
Email: Please type the teacher's name when you were in in 4th grade.
Me: What was the teacher's name?
Friend: Huh?
Me: When you were in 4th grade.
Friend: Ahh! John Smith.
Me: Ahh, he was strict, right?
Friend: Yeah (continues to play games again)
Me: (Types in John Smith)
Email: Set a new password.
Me: (Types "youaresostupid")
Email: Done!
Me: (copies PLAIN TEXT password from email, logs in to website)
Me: Da-da!
Friend: (gasps)
Me: Money plz~
Friend: Nope.
Me: (wtf, then remembers i changed his email password) Fine then.
=====================
1. There is 2 factor authentication enabled. : Got it?
2. The website sent plaintext password.
3. He is just pure idiot.
4. I didn't got the money.
5. I am now a h4x0r11 -
Omfg this fucking guy!!!!
Context:
We are going through a major refactor of some of our backend components. I was tasked with cleaning up our ML code while another guy was tasked with cleaning up the general CRUD side of the backend, let's call him DA for "dumb ass".
** At 11pm
DA: I am getting a strange error from your backend. Look:
"Invalid call: method=PUT expected=[POST]"
Me: you need to send a post request not a put request
DM: no, it's not that. I am sending the right thing
Me: ... Let me see...
* 15min ish of testing *
No, it works fine on my version, 1.1.0 what's your version?
DM: I'm on 1.1.0.
Me: send me code?
DM: *send
"request.put(..."
Me: you are sending a PUT... It's literally in the screenshot. Send a Post
DM: I am
Me: no, send a Post
DM: I don't understand, I am sending the request
Me: it's a post not a put
DM: but...
Me: it's a post not a put
Me: good night!!!!!!12 -
Customer :Can you build a system that rates our product by XYZ standard?
Us: Sure!
*time passes*
Us: Ta-da!
Customer: Okay, here are some good and some bad products!
*products get rated shit to supershit*
Customer: No, that's wrong. Some of these are as good as we can, they should be rated best!
Us: okay, we offset the results.
*products get rated good to barely okay*
Customer: Great! Can you sign that the system rates by XYZ Standard?
Us: No.
Customer : But we paid you to rate by XYZ standard!
Us: By XYZ standard your products are bad, you can either have your products rated by standard or pass the test.
Customer: Unacceptable!
Us: Improve production?
Customer : Not possible, the job is done when you rate the products good by XYZ standard.9 -
Da Fuck!?!
Yesterday I found some abnormal activity on my server, someone was trying to brute force my ssh as root since two days! Started raging and installed fail2ban (which automatically bans an IP if it fails to log X times and eventually sends me an email). Woke up this morning to find that a fucking Chinese guy/malware spent the whole night trying to brute Force me!
Fucking cunt! Don't you have any better to do!!
My key is a 32 characters long encrypted key, with the ban he can try 3 passwords /2 hours, good luck brute forcing it you bitch!
36 -
API Guy.
He has a serious regex problem.
Regexes are never easy to read, but the ones he uses just take the cake. They're either blatantly wrong, or totally over-engineered garbage that somehow still lacks basic functionality. I think "garbage" here is a little too nice, since you can tell what garbage actually is/was without studying it for five minutes.
In lieu of an actual rant (mostly because I'm overworked), I'll just leave a few samples here. I recommend readying some bleach before you continue reading.
Not a valid url name regex:
VALID_URL_NAME_REGEX = /\A[\w\-]+\Z/
Semi-decent email regex: (by far the best of the four)
VALID_EMAIL_REGEX = /\A[\w+\-.]+@[a-z\d\-.]+\.[a-z]+\z/i
Over-engineered mess that only works for (most) US numbers:
VALID_PHONE_REGEX = /1?\s*\W?\s*([2-9][0-8][0-9])\s*\W?\s*([2-9][0-9]{2})\s*\W?\s*([0-9]{4})(\se?x?t?(\d*))?/
and for the grand finale:
ZIP_CODE_REGEX = /(^\d{5}(-\d{4})?$)|(^[ABCEGHJKLMNPRSTVXY]{1}\d{1}[A-Z]{1} *\d{1}[A-Z]{1}\d{1}$)|GIR[ ]?0AA|((AB|AL|B|BA|BB|BD|BH|BL|BN|BR|BS|BT|CA|CB|CF|CH|CM|CO|CR|CT|CV|CW|DA|DD|DE|DG|DH|DL|DN|DT|DY|E|EC|EH|EN|EX|FK|FY|G|GL|GY|GU|HA|HD|HG|HP|HR|HS|HU|HX|IG|IM|IP|IV|JE|KA|KT|KW|KY|L|LA|LD|LE|LL|LN|LS|LU|M|ME|MK|ML|N|NE|NG|NN|NP|NR|NW|OL|OX|PA|PE|PH|PL|PO|PR|RG|RH|RM|S|SA|SE|SG|SK|SL|SM|SN|SO|SP|SR|SS|ST|SW|SY|TA|TD|TF|TN|TQ|TR|TS|TW|UB|W|WA|WC|WD|WF|WN|WR|WS|WV|YO|ZE)(\d[\dA-Z]?[ ]?\d[ABD-HJLN-UW-Z]{2}))|BFPO[ ]?\d{1,4}/
^ which, by the way, doesn't match e.g. Australian zip codes. That cost us quite a few sales. And yes, that is 512 characters long.47 -
Latest facebook for iOS update is 219 mega-fucking-bytes. Yet, no real changelog to tell me what da fuck changed!!!!!! Fuck that developer for real!!!
14 -
Language and their user:
C - programming language of God
C++ - Pagan Deity
C# - Beethoven
Java - Jesus
Python - The Crocodile Hunter
Ruby - Miyamoto Musashi (samurai)
Rust - Da Vinci
JavaScript - Satan
PHP - Justin Bieber23 -
Me teaching a co-worker programming.
Him:"So what exactly is the difference between Java and JavaScript?"
Me:"About the same as the difference between cars and carpets."
Thank you guys for teaching me how to answer that.2 -
My internship at startup:
Dream: Lots of coding
Reality: Maintaining Excel sheets for API functions.😑14 -
> in da zone, headphones beating, caffeine rushing through my veins, snack-stack at 75%, code and commands flowing like campaign promises, I'm one with the keyboard... I can feel it ~(◉_◉)~
roomie: Hey J! J!
me: ಠ_ಠ I'm kinda busy, what do you want?
roomie: Dude don't forget to pick up bla bla bla
me: Okay
> Headphones back on, feeling the h4ckx0r fire resurge through my gut like a majestic phoenix (not to be confused with taco tuesday gut fire)
roomie: J...J! dude also make sure bla bla bla
me: ಠ╭╮ಠ I know, you don't need to be so specific with me.
> Headphones on...about to hit play again...
roomie: Dude do you happen to know bla bla bla
(ಥ﹏ಥ)
(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻
FUCK! just tell me everything at once so I can go back to ignoring you and the irrelevant world around me!
I hate when people do this.8 -
The only keyboard i will ever need...
Https://shop.keyboard.io
Con's:
* Steep learning curve
* where the fuck are my key combo's? Ah there they are!
Pro's:
* so comfy!
* much wow!
* such openness
* da blingbling
* wood finish!
28 -
Dear Apple,
WHY DA FUCK DO I HAVE TO DOWNLOAD 4+ GB EVERY SINGLE TIME I HAVE TO UPDATE X-FUCKING-CODE? A goddamn patch would be more than sufficient.7 -
Was asked to log into a website by my company and I swear something was up... I needed to double-check
Yup... it's even worse than I thought.
6 -
All my code is hacked together and barely works and is nowhere near shameless. But I'm pretty proud of my hardware hacks. Like the sticker that holds the casing on my laptop together.
2 -
Teacher: Who do you think you are, young man?
Me: I am DA GREATEST!
Teacher: -_- ... Says who?
Me: Google BITCH!
5 -
Me: I think you should keep your data in a proper database.
Client : Don't try to up sell your products to me. Excel works just fine! Been keeping data in it for years! Wonder why you ever need a database to begin with.
What would you say? Cause I'm speechless.6 -
I hate this fucking front-end stuff so hard..
How DA FUCK is it possible that I set up the whole backend including DB connection, base controllers, models, base validation and stuff in an hour but don't get this fucking fucking retarded JS framework piece of shit to display a test string after ONE FUCKING HOUR!!!
Why do we need this shit anyway? Why does everything have to be shiny with some fucking animations???
It's about the information, isn't it? Then WHY DOES IT HAVE TO LOOK PRETTY???
I gonna travel back in fucking time to the early 80's!
Stupid front-end shit..23 -
Just found another forum message from someone that doesn't understand Java and JavaScript. They said JavaScript is the code that Java runs....I thought we fixed these people.4
-
Fuck that fucking company three way while dozens of homeless HIV crack junkies puke and shit their diarrhea on the three bosses!
I can't put it in words how stupid they are!
Let me try to tell you the latest story while I try not to get multiple strokes.
Backstory: We are three devs, all with a TCCI certification. One has been working for us for almost a year, the other one has been working for us since one and a half year. Both are good friends of mine, btw. I have been working there for almost three years.
Fortunately, I am allowed to work on a reasonable computer. The other devs work on PC's with Windows 7 and 8!
One has just 400 MB space left on his drive and has to delete every month some shit because he does not want to be able to call up websites anymore... How awful?!
The PC of the other great Dev Crashes three to six times a day and needs about 30 minutes to start up!
We can be so productive, but...
We told that in February one of our bosses and asked him to buy new hardware. His answer: yes, of course, I understand that, it's my turn (he always says that "ich bin da dran")
We got a new colleague in the middle of this fucking month. She is responsible for conception.
She works on an old notebook, but today she gets a fucking new PC to work on while the devs are trying to weld with a sparkler! Better hardware than every other Dev PC!!!
Guess what? She is the daughter of a friend of one of our bosses!
We are the only devs at this company.
Fuck that fucking company! Fuck that fucking bosses!
I think we don't go to work for that fucking company anymore!6 -
I signed up for a 3 day course on c++ for revision purposes since I haven't used it in years, it was there, so why not.
So we get an email about having to install linux mint beforehand. Naturally, having ubuntu installed, i just ask if I can roll with that. And the answer is:
"Yes you just need to install the compiler, but then you won't get the credit point for the course, since you have not completed all tasks."
And an instruction was attached innthe general email on to how to create a bootable usb stick with windows and set up the partition (!) for a dualboot system for like 10 gigs of linux.
Bruh.
Da fuq.
I'm coming for the c++ not the linux. Also how do you think I've got ubuntu running in the first place? I get it the course is for beginners probably but still.
Also, after reading the instructions and knowing Windows 10 i can see bootloader issues incoming...
Was looking forward to that course now I'm not so sure. 🤔
(Sidenote: i don't care about the point I could get ftom this)10 -
His last words:
"I'm not a slave of you(boss). I'm a fuckn Developer!"
La-da-da-da-dahh
It's the mfin D-O-double-G (SNOOP DOGG!)1 -
Got invited to a friend's house for supper.he asks me ,why don't I see you online on Facebook these days
And do you have an Instagram account
Me:yeah but have never used it actively
Friend: Twitter
Me:yeah but also don't use it actively ,in fact haven't logged on for months or even years
Friend:wow.u live under a rock.what social networks do u use actively
Me:devrant,quora
Friend:wat da hell are those.
Me: social networks which u would most probably get roasted on4 -
Post Anger Rant (Beware, Long rant ahead)
So there is this project we have been working for months, most of the devs involved are jr students so I was leading them in the architecture and what to do and they were doing it, the progress was slow but safe and fun.
On the team there was this guy, someone I trusted and in who I had special interest for his skills, so I let him own the github repo.
So the day of the first demo I pull the backend changes ( I had been working on front end ) and I realize that the code was different, so I started using my super awesome forensic skills to find what happened,and when I say different I mean a totally different architecture different database connections, different service pirts, basically other project, so during my criminal investigation I found out this guy I trusted had never really worked with us, from the beginning he went solo working on his own project and changing everything because of some tutorial he found on the internet, so I decided to reset to the previous version just to find out that he had already deployed the code and that a lot of fixes that we should have were only on his version.
So I went and confront him telling him that he did wrong and he had to learn team work and that I was trying to teach them good practices and he waits and asks me "so, my code was wrong?" Seriously what da hell dude? I'm talking about team work and all you can think about is your code.
Finally he admitted his mistake and repented (I think), but seriously how arrogant must you be to ignore a whole team, specially when on your first real project.8 -
I graduated last weekend. Walked in the commencement ceremony, took pictures, posted a !rant here, the whole 9 yards. Then what happens? I get an email from the dean of the engineering college at my university stating that my degree check was done incorrectly and that I am 3 credit-hours short of graduating, it is too late to sign up for an intersession course, and there are now 3 credit-hour courses offered as 8-weel courses. So here I am, with two Job interviews coming up, without my degree, wondering why the hell I found all this out A WEEK AFTER I "Graduated"! DA FUCK!!!!!9
-
Avicii died. 😞😢
At just 28.
He got me through some tough and grueling times. I still use his tunes while coding. I'm still shocked that he left so early. But he made it count. He might've lived short but he lived large.
I'll miss him. I'm sad that he left so early. But his work will live on. I hope to become as good at programming computers as he was at using them to make music. His music was perfection. RIP.11 -
*me reading @Alice 's cake recipe
"biscuits violently dismembered"
"dark as our souls."
"slowly and painfully molten butter"
"press your victim tightly against it"
"before it freezes to death"
"Put it into the oven and torture your victim"
"so it fills the hole in its heart"
Well... Wut. Da. Frigging. Heck. I've. Just. Read.8 -
So after less than four weeks of waiting (an incredibly short time!), I finally got my fresh new devRant stickers yesterday, shipped all the way out to Middle Of Nowhere, India :D
Hats off to the devRant team for their incredible commitment to the app and the users!
5 -
!rant
Damn github is da shit.
I'm sure all of those people who ranted about committing their passwords and keys will be happy
PS. I don't know if this is new but I'm happy either way :D
6 -
Just realized that I am not at +1000 points and I must say...well. That I really like this community. Being able to talk to other people with similar interests helps me get through the day in ways that I cannot describe. Where I am from there aren't that many developers at all and those that exist around do not have the experience, talent, or knowledge that the user base here has. This is a diverse group, with people comming from different backgrounds and tech stacks and I learn a lot from each and every one of you. Thanks guys for giving me a place to be at when software gets crazy. Cheers to you all magnificent basterds, and to the awesome gentlemen that built my favorite app ever!! You guys rock!
2 -
Hallucinations of my father that keep taking control of my psyche and making me hack things I don't remember or shooting me in the head to break down my sanity.5
-
About browsers and whole SSL CERT thing...
Most likely everyone here noticed, that https site with broken certificate will throw these big red warnings, in your face and there is so much wording like "ITS NOT SECUREEEE" or "ITS HACKEDDD" almost like it was written by passionate fanatic.
But when you are on plaintext http browsers reaction is like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Even if you have plaintext with password, it will for example in chromium put small little red thingy that almost no one notices.
I believe that broken cert with some error like invalid date is MORE secure than plaintext password, yet still there is this hypocracy with browsers...
I dont say that broken SSL cert is good, or something, Im just pointing out contrast of "broken" https vs plain http.... One looks for casual Joe like end of the world is coming and second is bearly noticable. Da fuck?
I disagree with this approach18 -
Dear ISP,
Thank your for throttling my internet right in the middle of a hurricane! Now not only does Netflix not work and GitHub take forever, but I can't even get live weather updates. Time to code using cave paintings I guess till the power goes out.3 -
I hate the idea of a programmer's day.
I like the logic (256th day) but hate the idea.
It feels full of bullshit. It feels fake.
I guess it had that wannabe impersonator vibe to it that makes me nauseated.
I have similar feelings towards other kinds of such days.7 -
Slapping idiots around.
This needs to be a trend.
---
Actual rant :
I'm sitting in this idiot haven completing my mandatory hours doing nothing. Earlier I would spend this time learning stuff but I'm too fed up to do anything. This place is driving me mad and just today I had to suffer through more madness that is blocking me from resolving a bug.(I don't have the license to run the product I'm supposed to be fixing)
The number of inept idiots is too damn high. I try not to be bothered but I can only try so much.4 -
First personal project in my new employment.
This is the situation:
[ • ] Frontend
Drupal with custom module which load an Angular 6 application inside certain urls. Da hell for my eyes but interesting in somewhat.
[ • ] Back end
SharePoint "database" middled by a my-boss-written Java layer used to map SharePoint tokens in something more usable2 -
This drawing was commented on my PR to explain the flow of a bug I need to fix, what da fuck does this means. I already told him to use a mock up tool like Adobe XD or some shit like that. Dudes answer's was "It's easier for me just to draw it"
12 -
Fuckin hell, do not ever force disconnect people from (poduction) servers, especially if there is a scheduled upgrade in the middle of a busy working day & you have a very small window for updates!! 😠😠😠
ID10T errors all over da place 😒3 -
Within 20 minutes of posting a question on stack overflow it was down voted - with no explanation. Fucking hate that site4
-
Every time I have to recall how to LaTeX, it's a huge pain in the ass. It's like learning to code in Greek (I don't know Greek). Happens every single time (it can be months before I need to use it again).
However.
Every time I finish my creation, I fall in love with LaTeX all over again.5 -
Woo-hoo!!! Yoda is in da house! Or to say it in his own words: "Truly wonderful, the mind of a child is."
1 -
Client code:
neat, organized easy to interpret
Server code:
da fuq is this? da fuq is that? what does this do?
People who cant see the code:
client's
People who can see the code:
THE GUY WHO IS WORKING ON THE SERVER!4 -
So, what are you all working on right now? Let's get some screen-shots in here!
I'm working on my "BrowserBandit" software - it reads a firefox or chrome profile and extracts saved user/pass combos, history, and autocomplete entries.
19 -
Ladies and gentlemen.
I wanna introduce you one of the best tools on the market. My latest and greatest creation.
Da Notch (TM)
Have you ever thought "Damn, I would like to have this notch like iPhone X, but on my pc"? Well lucky you! With Da Notch (TM) you can bring iPhone X notch to your Windows machine! You can even change it's width with simply left clicking on it and using your scroll wheel. Isn't that great?
Get it here! https://gitlab.com/aathlon/...
8 -
Visual Studio - How da fuck can a IDE take so long to load? Like shit man, the time VS loads I have a days work on Xcode already.7
-
Joins Skype group dev talk
20mins in mutes microphone
Co worker mentions something I am working on
Me: starts talking for a minute
Coworker: randomly interrupts me, like legit no warning, he just started talking....
Me: wait what da faq
OH wait I'm not mute....
Shit -
Linux:
The operating sistem that wants you to be a pro right from start.
But stuck because grub doesn't install.
Following tutorials on the cellphone but still stuck. At boot I'll get stuck in initramfs...
I really want mint... But I'm not gonna reinstall windows just to get other distro.
Why da FUCK?
Even formated C to ext4 to help
30 -
about 6 years ago I was working for a large consulting company on a government project. I put in a change for a stored procedure that hard coded the partition to 0, except 0 didn't exist on production, just on test. several thousand government employees couldn't access it for a day. 😞
-
Overheard a conversation...
Dev: We should focus on getting it working in production, then we can copy it over to dev so we have a working version.
Me: da fuq?4 -
watched first two episodes of mr. robot and it seems pretty good so far. does it go like other hacker shows/movies or does it stay good?10
-
Company's HR team has launched a eco drive. As part of the initiative they're asking everyone to use only one tissue paper (among other things) to save trees.
.
.
So they've printed that message on thick glossy papers and pasted them, at least four per washroom among other places.
Okay, I guess.8 -
Family expectations from an engineer in India:
Go fix the ceiling fan, it's very slow these days.
😖1 -
Rewrite of the sync api to REST.
Coworker: “hey, I know you’ve written and maintained our sync module for the past 4 years. Something I need to know? Some hints or knowledge you can share?”
Me: only thing you should not do is x and y. Otherwise you will face problems a and b.”
Coworker: “great, thanks a lot!”
2 months later...
Customer call: “da fuck are you doing? When I do stupid stuff then I face problem z and problem a!!!”
*me checking new code*
*me calling coworker*
Me: “WTF did you do? You asked for my advice and then did exactly what I told you NOT to do.”
Coworker: “oh, let me check the code..”
*coworker calls boss*
Coworker: “Boss, I can’t work with this guy, he starts fights all the time..”
*boss comes to my desk*
Boss: “I don’t want you to work on this anymore, people are complaining.”
Me: “what the fuck, I just asked him a question..”
~ 1 month later
coworker quits because he can’t handle all the bugs he caused and I have to maintain this piece of fucking retard code..3 -
What the fuck is wrong with Google?!!
Trying to log into Gmail.
Forgot password.
Gmail: To reset, code from authenticator app is required.
Me: Super. Good thing I set it up.
Enters code.
Gmail: Recovery email.
Me : Uh... Forgot that too.
Gmail: Some email address to communicate.
Me: Super!
Enters some other email address.
Receives mail with a link.
Me: Finally!
Opens link
Gmail: "When did you create your account?"
Me: Uh... If I had that kind of memory, we wouldn't be dancing right now.
.
.
.
Gmail: Sorry we couldn't verify you.
WHAT THE FUCK, GOOGLE?!
What sort of sadist play is this?!
Dropped them a mail to get access back. Got a link in the auto reply that explains how to repeat the above process. WTF?!
What the actual fuck?!10 -
Ever had a day that felt like you're shoveling snow from the driveway? In a blizzard? With thunderstorms & falling unicorns? Like you shovel away one m² & turn around and no footprints visible anymore? And snow built up to your neck?
Today my work day was like that.. xcept shit..shit instead of pretty & puffy snow!!
Working on things a & b, trying to not mess either one up, then comes shit x, coworker was updating production.. ofc something went wrong.. again not testing after the update..then me 'to da rescue'.. :/ hardly patch things up, so it works..in a way.. feature c still missing due to needed workarounds.. going back to a and b.. got disrupted by the same coworker who is nver listening, but always asking too much..
And when I think I finally have the b thing figured out a f-ing blocker from one of our biggest clients.. The whole system is unresponsive.. Needles to say, same guy in support for two companies (their end), so they filed the jira blocker with the wrong customer that doesn't have a SLA so no urgent emails..and then the phone calls.. and then the hell broke loose.. checking what is happening.. After frantic calls from our dba to anyone who even knows that our customer exists if they were doing sth on the db.. noup, not a single one was fucking with the prod db.. The hell! Materialised view created 10 mins ago that blocked everything..set to recreate every 10 minutes..with a query that I am guessing couldn't even select all that data in under 15.. dafaaaq?! Then we kill it..and again it is there.. We found out that customers dbas were testing something on live environment, oblivious that they mamaged to block the entire db..
FML, I'm going pokemon hunting.. :/ codename for ingress n beer..3 -
I'm too ignorant about the rituals you need to do for dating.
I don't usually befriend ladies, I would just keep my distance. being a little cold to them, not hanging around, not chatting too much with them, just a greeting if possible
1. I try to get a little closer(just a little. to avoid da frend zone) to those I'm interested
2. I ask them to a date
3. If she refuses then back the 'being cold' attitude.
4. If she accepts... Haven't happened so I don't fucking know D:
I'm just inept at dealing with landing a date (not coding affecting my dating)29 -
Best part about being a dev...
Satisfaction that people are using you inventions/products to better their lives.
I know it sounds cliché, but software dev is a lot like art.
Guessing, Da Vinci must have felt the same way in the Renaissance.
2 -
swag link says you need 20 +1's for stickers and 175 +1's for ball from each post. clicking on Learn More it then says you need 15 +1's for stickers and 150 +1's for ball from each post.
How about some stickers for spotting a content issue?1 -
My lead loves to over engineer crap and waste weeks building complicated solutions.
And then during retro when a team member has the stones to say we should've thought about it a little more or used the input of some other teammates, he shuts them down by saying that more input would've been bad for the design. I can see where he's coming from, but he always seems to have an excuse for us. Why can't he just be more transparent and clear with us? If he has a problem, just say it. That's what retros are for.
Oh and then he takes a shot at me saying that we shouldn't have built a UI in tandem with it. I didn't even recommend a UI for the thing. All I said was that if we ever have a UI, we should consider a database setup that assists both the server and UI. But nooo, he's stuck with this "server design" approach. Everything has to be built to make it easier for the server.
I still don't understand why anyone would have their server logic influence the design. Especially the database. I just seems too targeted. It just creates these nasty denormalized tables.
Ugh... Our team is getting dragged around by this arrogant and silly man. -
I have a friend that keeps his phone on "Battery saver" all the time... It's painful to always see that notification with "your phone is on battery saver mode".
He told me he does that because he does not want his battery to empty too soon...
A while ago he refused to use my Micro USB cable because he told me there might be viruses on that cable. ON THE CABLE!!!! Like viruses stored inside a cable that has no memory... A simple cable ( da fcuk? )
The worst part? He's studying computer science :/4 -
How surprising is it when a person designs code in a very clear and impressive structure and just when you think about asking them for guidance, they reveal themselves to be complete turds?
I've been working with this person's "infra" code, at work. I've rewritten some classes to use their infra. I had a vague idea of how the classes work. I had no idea of how their code works. Expectedly, there were some issues but now only minor ones remain.
I asked them for a description of what I'm supposed to do for the few bugs I'm facing. They replied in such a condescending tone, it made me want to punch them through the screen.
Almost a month later, we're still going back and forth with emails. I've been swallowing it and responding calmly. I never got direct answers. Always deflections to irrelevant things or veiled insults. I took it because they did correct one silly error of mine that actually my code reviewer should've caught. (What's worse is that it got introduced by me just before my review and commit.)
But does that give them the right to insult me in front of the whole team including my project manager? I got a reply today from them with everyone of note in cc implying very clearly that I have not done any work. They highlighted a line from my code with some todo tag (that was not meant for them) to make their invalid point. A line that's unrelated to the bug I asked them about. This is after I proved them wrong when they insisted that I had done something wrong about a feature related to the bug.
If you don't understand what I asked for fucking ask me to ask again. But do not fucking try establish yourself on higher ground by pointing out irrelevant things in my code.
I was shocked and enraged that they'd do such a thing. I double checked everything like a mad man. Despite knowing that the fix has to come from them, I was instantly transported to the noob stage, grasping at straws. I wanted to send a really scathing reply right away but my manager asked me to wait.
My mind is now a see saw shifting between a panicked noob questioning every fucking thing I ever did in my nada life and a hungry enraged monster looking to maul that fucking shithead for burning me like that.1 -
devRant = Developer Anonymous. For people who are addicted to coding - the best sort of addiction. :-D
"I'm sterex, and I code."2 -
So they give us a stress ball if a rant gets that many "upvotes". I find that really stressful, waiting and waiting.. And never get there. In the end of the day we are stressed af and with no stress ball 😂.
But hey, who da hell get stressed for this little? We devs are already stress free...3 -
When thinking back to my first pc im like how da fuck did i survive using dat crap I must've been a very patient guy 10gb hdd, 64mb ram, 700mhz cpu (if dats da correct way to write megahertz) and to top it off 56kb/s dialup internet4
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How many of you wear shades at work?
I started doing it after I faced some problems due to the extremely bright lights. It's such a complicated problem that no one in the management or admin team can do anything about it. 🙄12 -
If anyone looking to start learning blender because of any reason (like being a masochist among others), check out blederguru's tutorials.
The guy is doing God's work. At least animation Gods. Funny, awesome & detailed content. -
Maybe I should’ve gotten a smaller 1.
Anyway maybe just using it hood-up half-zipped.
Thanks to @idontgiveaduck for showing me da swag shop
12 -
Guys, a company's HR mailed me for a position that requires strong experience of ">3 years in Python with C or C++".
Does it mean Python and C/C++?
Or do they need someone who is using C/C++ to write Python?
I have some experience with adding Python support to C++ code. Does it count? 😁8 -
It's unbelievable how many senior software engineers there are with 2-3 years experience within the industry... damn boy, you just became intermediate, if you're still not a junior8
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I started getting into .net core.
I am researching VB.NET as well as C# even though I already know C#.
And I am using a light theme.6 -
had an interview at a place that went good at the technical part but I didn't do great at their 'abstract' questions. the guys interviewing were complete stone faced as well, no personality, pretty sure I wouldn't have liked working there anyways. a few years later and they are still looking for people. the recruiter rings up and I said I wouldn't want to re-interview unless the process had changed. he guaranteed me it had. so I went back in and it was exactly the same. exactly the same technical questions, followed by more abstract questions. different guys but same no-personalities. never going back
-
Fuck Amazon! Or apple? Or both? I don’t know...
I just wanted to read a book on my iPad using the kindle app. I can read a free excerpt from the book but when I decided that I wanted to buy the book, I couldn’t. Not from within the kindle app nor the amazon app.
I read on the internet that it has something to do with the greediness of apple and that they want an astronomical cut from the sales. So amazon decided that they wouldn’t sell ebooks in the iOS-Apps.
I had to get my android phone and buy the book using the app I’ve installed there. I could’ve also opened the amazon webpage in my browser.
Fucking retards, I just want to read! And the worst thing is, I don’t even really know whom to blame!
Anyways, now I can read the book (zum Leben ist es schön aber ich würde da ungern auf Besuch hinfahren by Tilman birr if anybody is interested)4 -
Devrant freezes when switching to different app then back again. A bit random though, has happened a couple of times but can't reproduce it.3
-
I met my crush last day, she is a junior from the same college, everything was fine until when she wanted to find a recharge shop to recharge her phone. I opened PayTm(One of the Mobile Wallet here in India) and said I'm doing it.
Her reaction : What ? How ? You can do recharge right away from your phone ! wow !
I lost my interest on her :(
She is BTech Final Year Student
Tragedies2 -
Gotta love it when your client tells his whole company that they can contact you for any question related to computers. I'm a fucking developer and no first level Microsoft Windows support.2
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My most humbling experience was finding the source code online to the original Pokemon games. It was right after I had finished my first text based Linux console game and I was looking up other programs source codes just for shits and giggles. Most of them were simple and I learned a few simple tricks but the red and blue Pokemon were the first codes I saw that fascinated me. The addressing, the memory allocation, even the simple audio processing was simply genius. So many unique innovations and techniques. If I achieve 1/5th of the skill I found in those files, I can die a happy programmer!3
-
At what point do you leave?
I totally get Amazon's principle of 'disagree and commit' but how many disagreements with your COO, CEO, does it take to make you say:
Fuck this, I'm out of here6 -
Anyone else annoyed by their scumbag brain that is hard to please but gets content easily?
Or is it just me?2 -
So today I published my very first VS Code extension! 😁 I don't think anyone but me will think it's useful but it saves me a few seconds every time I change something in my code and I want to test it. Just hit a button in VS Code an and ta da! The project is compiled and running!
VS Code Marketplace: https://marketplace.visualstudio.com/...
GitHub: https://github.com/olback/...3 -
I am a hobby programmer, far away from finally turning my hobby into a profession BUT already they ask me to fix their FUCKING PRINTERS........ whooot da fuk?!?!3
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...It relies on the BouncyCastle cryptography library instead of OpenSSL, yet replicates OpenSSL bugs to guarantee compatibility.2
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This is not about devRant… but it might as well be.
Imagine public forum. Everyone can read and post, everyone can comment. And there's no way to send a private message.
You use said forum for years. Whether you like it or not, you form alliances, friendships, frenemieships and engage all kinds of social contracts. There's no ro(ot)ster either, so you keep all that in your head, until one day you need a social contract formalized — exchange contact info. With Steven.
You can't just “@Steven text me, here's my phone”, that's borderline suicidal. You yearn a safe haven. A proxy that'd allow privacy. So you quickly spin up a service, let's say Discord (it wasn't Discord, but close enough), post a link, and within seconds Steven joins… He and seven other Stevens.
So you send each a unique sentence, a 2fa token so to speak, and ask them to post it on said devRant-like forum — they can delete it later after all. And a few minutes later there's eleven Stevens posting garbage faster than mods can delete, because whitespace power. But you bravely sift through that shit until the correct Steven rants “I'm blue, da-ba-dee da-ba-da”, and finally you know which Discord Steven is blue, so you can privately chat about colours.
And then Steven's 75 years old, well-reputed account gets banned on devRant for posting along other spamming Stevens. And you can't even PM administration, because devRant is a public forum without PM-ing indeed.28 -
JetBrains Fleet sucks!
It's absolutely gorgeous but it sucks, technically. I mean did nobody try to edit a YAML file with 2 spaces indent in there during development??
I wasn't even able to open a fucking project with it one time. And why in gods name does it go full macos with it's design?
Loving their IDEs, but da fuck's going on with this?14 -
jenkins tests passing but travis failing. now travis passing but jenkins failing, aargh!
more beer needed... -
DA FAQ DONT ASK ME TO COMPLETELY CHANGE THE FUCKING UI U BASTARD!!! I HAVE SPENT HOURS ON SOME PARTS!😣😡👿2
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Been at it inconsistently for two weeks and a few days now. Hitting approx 30 wpm with dvorak! Starting to slowly integrate it into my daily work. I'm on my way to becoming ambitextrous. 😎8
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When you have been heavily using 1 language for 6 months, then start a project in another - where da fuq did all my memory muscle go!3
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when github autocorrects my pull request message that contains the word splunk.
(or when devrant also decides to) -
Still waiting for that confirmation email. Multiple resends and still nothing. My inbox has nothing from devrant. Now I can't ++. I want to ++. Seems like I can't have anything I want at all.
.
.
.
.
That's old. I deleted and created my account again but the rant was still saved so I thought why not start with it.8 -
Scott Meyers.
He's just amazing. The way he thinks, he teaches, is absolutely wonderful. He's inspired me on many occasions.
Herb Sutter.
Absolute beast of a programmer. His guru of the week series is a simple but effective way to communicate concepts and techniques in a language.
There are a lot more - Scott Hanselman, Martin Fowler, Andrew Koenig, Andrei Alexandrescu, Barabara Moo and many more.
They remind me of why I chose programming. It wasn't for money or fame, just to solve puzzles in cool ways. It's the way you can take a simple concept and apply it to great effect that brings me joy and these people do it relentlessly.4 -
Fuuuuuuuuu....uuuuuck!!
My net went down..in the middle of a fuckin update.. then my phone data took forever to fuckin locate our vpn endpoint..
Who said WFH is stress free?! O.o
I wanna go back to da office😭😭😭😭😭5 -
A friend of me said that intel Pentium and i3 is the same, that all laptops with intel`s logo have the same processor, you just have to view the info. of yours...2
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I've been meaning to sign up on dev.to for a while now.
Finally started the sign up process. They require you to agree to follow their code of conduct which states that they will prioritize empowering the marginalized communities and in order to do that they will *not* act on complaints of reverse-isms. Reverse (sexism | racism), cisphobia, etc.
Am I the only one who thinks that this is wrong? I'm all for empowering people, tolerance and not getting trolled but outrightly rejecting complaints on topics that seem politically incorrect sounds superfluous to me. Am I interpreting something wrong? (I hope I am because in general I find the community to be nice and positive)3 -
in the hospital with surgery and our deployment goes wrong, so glad I work with really good people!3
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C:
char greeting[] = "Hello world";
Developers: char array... What da f*CK!
C++
... Okay.
std::string,
std::string_view,
char*,
std::wstring,
hstring,
qstring...
How about now? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)5 -
My office WiFi is freaking fast upto 25mbps, should I download Torrents using it. Is there a possibility that corporate networks are under more surveillance ?7
-
What do you think of online tests (for hiring) with a mandatory webcam?
The webcam part is making me anxious enough to back out.23 -
Weekly drama call 1.
(the number reflects the devrant broadcast count not the actual count).
We work with a remote team and the project manager there just loves to talk. It started as something adorable(?) but it's just plain annoying now. He keeps on talking and talking and talking. We just muted him, had a good laugh and missed nothing. Nobody has any idea when he'll stop.
:/
.
.2 -
Last rant update:
I won't have to take a leave after all and won't have to force myself to a wasted day full of useless awkward interactions or roaming around in a park.
Phew! -
Between android studio and Unity, which one si better to make a adventure text game? Why? (i'm learning, dont kill me please)8
-
!rant
So I got bored and decided to drop some Easter egg cats into Google trouble reports because why not? Well I sent one off on regular Google Allo and it ran this search. None of my other cats did anything like this even with other black cats. Any ideas?
2 -
[linux distro stuff]
Hey guys!
Im considerig switching to linux because:
My macbook does not support mojave and the new ones are expensive af.
Windows 10 is bloated and not a great user experience(removing stuff from the control panel and adding it to the very stripped down settings app, privacy etc..).
I love open source software
However i did not used linux for a long time, back then i used ubuntu and SUSE.
My considerations:
Debian - because .deb on them haters
OpenSUSE - because i used it in the past and it seemed very stable and fast
Arch - i heard from a lot of sources that it’s “da best”
My use case is game development and 3D modeling. I use gimp, blender vscode and unity (the game engine) at work i sometimes use autodesk stuff (motionbuilder, 3ds max) because of fbx.
For audio stuff i use audacity
So overall i’m looking for a distro that is fast, lightweight, i can develop on it (mostly 3D stuff) and occasionally play some games
Anyone has experience with the mentioned distros? What distro would you use for this?6 -
Hey Guys
So... I Have a question / rant / frustrated commenting to do...
WHY THA FUCK DO FIRMWARE TAKE SO LONG TO UPDATE!!!
been configuring my webserver and 2 p2p cameras to access from the outside, and for each click or change can take 1 to 5 minutes to implement...
And then, like 6 or 7 hours latter I notice that everytime the port wasn't associated, a small label in like size8 text shows that port is already in use...
And... Da FUCK??
I'm associating the ports myself... how can port 82, 83, 84, 85, 86, ... be In use?
I have my server in 80, WebDav e another non relevant port, and trying to find open ports for the p2p cams...
Fuck I'll just delete all that services that no one uses and are pre configured, like, emule? napster? FifaPC? WTF? I never played Fifa, don't like socker. KaZaA SERVER? WTF why does this shit comes pre-configured?
Btw I'm writing this while I wait for the router to finish every time :p7 -
Found this coding bootcamp advertisement while I was scrolling through Reddit:
“... we provide a better way to learn, free of tuition AND TEACHERS...”
- I learn my code in da streets, yo3 -
K.
1. Uni wants me to use Java.
2. I don't like Java, because everything that I am used to, is different.
3. I look up easy things online on shitty websites...
4. C'm on journaldev... Where 's da cookiebanner?
4 -
Ekhem.... da money? Sure I can go on about how it changed my approach to real life problems or how it keeps my mind flexible and always learning more BUT the truth is - those are just nice things on top of being able to buy food and pay rent2
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Worst disturbance? This person who sits behind my back. I've gotten used to them not minding their own business and snooping into mine but to counter that they've taken to distracting me and others all the time.
Sample this incident from just a few moments ago (inspiring the rant).
Me: *debugging while listening to some ambient music channel
Them: *rushes to my desk, putting a hand behind my back
Me: *politely takes off headphones asking, What?
Them: *after peeking at my screen, nvm, I'll tell you later, I have a meeting to go to.
Fucking hell, idiot! It already takes me hours of pushing myself to come to work at this good for nothing place and then actually get to working. Just flush your head in the toilet so you don't take a dump on me with your shitty restlessness.1 -
Deploying into linux containers (lxc) as of 2013 before docker even was da hype.
(Experience was a bit problematic tho, as it was in a highly virtualized environment whose backup would really badly kill the whole container every now and then: you could still ssh to the machine but with every access to the file system you'd lose your shell. and only the "echo 1 > /proc/sys/kernel/sysrq" would help to restart the box.) -
Buy dell, hp, lenovo and any other craptop company out there and fire all the numbnuts working there so that they slowly die of unemployment in the fucking gutters where their useless asses rightly belong. Oh and castrate them too so that they don't reproduce.
I'm considering going full Lannister on them but that might be too harsh.5 -
Finally I have something decent for my résumé.
I was going through some LaTeX hell before someone started a cv tools discussion. It was good to learn that json cv is a thing. But it was too late for me. LaTeX posed a challenge and I was bored. It became personal.
After a lot of kicking around and landing on XeLaTeX, I finally have a decent layout. I had to compromise a tiny bit but that's on me for having little content.
(I wanted a graphic résumé but I'll need to do more to sufficiently fill a page. Besides I'd need to design icons and shit for it.)
Now it's done and my job hunt can start!3 -
da fuq.
My manager wants me to write specific test cases for status quo behavior (without turning on new features) on mobile web.
and TEST IT ON DEVICE NOT SIMULATORS
Does he know it's the 2020s?
and does he know all our changes were already out since we deployed it the first time? aka customers already tested it for us?
I'm not gonna tell him and open another can of worms lol3 -
so my friend and I are canvassing NLEs for our guys at the Post Production squad in our project (we were in charge in infrastructure). We looked at Premiere since it's kinda ok until we found Black Magic Design's Da Vinci Resolve.
First of all, I was suprised with the price. 299 for the Studio Version? Holy fuck, that's cheap as hell! Then there's a free as in free software version which has the core editing features with 1080p rendering. So we grabbed that and kinda suprised it requires postgres but as seeing Resolve having collab and render queues, it makes sense.
Installed them on the PCs the postprods gonna use, they were amazed. We literally saved 500 bucks for an NLE. When they asked how much is it. Our reply was:
"That's free".
and there was silence...
"And it's also 299 bucks for the cooler version".
And silence still ensued.
Guess our guys wasted alot of money on a pipeline that is cheap as hell but more jam-packed than any other NLE found in the market.
Props to you BlackMagic Design. -
That was weird...
Yesterday I took a LinuxFoundation exam in their proprietary PSI browser. I took it on a freshly installed latest LinuxMint.
Due to the obvious reasons, PSI asked me to shut down the following currently running applications:
- chrome
- dropbox
- shutter
- Mail.ru
wat da fak?
I closed the first 3. Mail.ru remained
wtf???5 -
If you're always too busy doing the wrong things the wrong way, you will never have time time to do things right
-
!rant
Hi, I got a question to you all but preferably to the german devs. Which education and what kind of studies do you got? I am currently looking what I want to do after school but it's hard to get a overview what actually is necessary.
Thank you very much for your answers.
-German-
Was für eine Ausbildung und oder Studium habt ihr? Es ist schwer zu wissen, welches Studium man braucht, da gerade bei Informatik die Studiengänge unterschiedlich heißen aber im Studienplan dann mehr oder weniger das gleiche drinsteht.
Vielen Dank für eure Antworten!12 -
Honestly, people who think “vanillaJS da way” and heavily work with HTML strings are a danger to human kind.
You’re basically running around with a shirt saying “I love using eval wherever possible”2 -
A dedicated team has built an "infrastructure" for creating UI for c++ developers in the company. What looks like a poor attempt at recreating what Microsoft did with XAML at first glance, it actually is a horrible exercise in force feeding people the stinking pile of shit that their code is.
The idea is to make it easy to create UI for developers who aren't used to front end development. They should just need to declare the layout. Very noble.
But.
If you want to do anything more than show a checkbox or a radio button, if you dare to define relationships between the UI controls or worse, if you get ambitious with creating a simple UI that uses a lot of similar controls and similar relationships with dynamic content... be prepared to eat your own barf from eating too much of their shit.
Not only do you now need to write front end code (including JS among others), you need to do it with limited or poor support and you have to make sure that it sits well with the house of moist, crumbly cards the team proudly created. Or resort to some very stupid and performance costing "bypasses" that further cripple your application code. Usually you have to do both of these things.
To think that scores of other teams have welcomed this amazing enhancement with full support without any resistance. It's sickening.
I waste too much of energy (and good jokes!) with these people.4 -
Pretty recent one. I found that I can use Perl to edit files using a single cmd line (with regex search and replace). Loved it.
-
My boss writes code like this:
def someFunction (someArg: String) = ...
Who does that?! A space? Da fuck?! And it's all over the code base. Whenever another dev touches any of his stuff, we correct it:
def someFunction(someArg: String) = ...
The way god intended it!8 -
I know it's old but it happened again and I had to waste a few minutes because I couldn't disable the bloody task this time.
But using psexec tools worked.
Guess micro and soft describes their ux team.
Look at the balls on their micro cocks. "Heads up". How dare you scare me like that on *my* fucking machine that I paid for, god dammit.
"We're going to make Windows better...". Can it suck my dick after updating? Because I'd like to choke the retard genes out of it.
The only thing that comes close to it is the fucking swiping keyboard that I'm using to type this rant.
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My coworker, Donnovan, has influenced me the most professionally. Showed me the ropes around HL7 when I had limited coding background. His philosophy of automating as much as possible has been my motto for over a decade, and I make sure I impart that to every new dev I train.2
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Best: rediscovering auto hotkey. It's weird how much it pleases me. 😳
Worst: Oh so many. I've tried to overcome these with varying success rates but there's one that is still a big pain: job.1 -
You know ya listening to too much daft punk when you start calling methods after the song your listening too, SearchDaFunc Func returning to a polling Func, anyway here's Da Funk
https://youtube.com/watch/... -
I am wondering what secure app do you guys use for texting/voice/video.
I know Signal but I am looking for something that uses a username like devrant instead of a phone number.6 -
To give my own old rant here a bit more background:
https://devrant.com/rants/5319171/...
Cloud solutions offline for some customers, a bit longer than a week...
https://theregister.com/2022/04/...
Bamboo release fucked up...
https://jira.atlassian.com/browse/...
They've withdrawn the new release 8.2.0 and instead went for 8.2.1 ...
Well just because you had to give everyone admin rights in an minor release as they fucked up permissions, who cares. -
Because of cache split brain issue I have to invalidate cache every 5min. I've said to lead dev about this hack and we both agree to solve it asap.
This was 3 months ago...
Temporary fix becomes production solution. And it only took me 10min to add cron entry to every prod srv.
So productive!
Btw you should see users faces when page referesh changes page completely because of load balancing xD)1 -
Da fuck is doing AWS redesigning the UI to a new style? It is even worse, what the hell is this new crap? They have a lot of unresolved stuff with their services but yeah... Let's do a new UI, as if the ones working with AWS would care about a "cute UI". Don't change the shit that it's working and we already know.3
-
We're at that part in the project where we either keep sinking money into it, or cut or losses and go with another project. Sigh.1
-
I found myself tonight imagining what a conversation between Cheech and Chong about serverless would be.
Maybe the basis for a new talk?
Suggestions please1 -
In an effort to learn any development I spent 3 days setting up a LAMP server. Now that I got working I have no idea what to do with it. Anyone have a personal server or ideas on what to do with one?10
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PR (tested)
-- if(a){ x(); }
++ if(a && b(x)){ x(); )
Reviewer: what if a'?
Me-think: but da'/dx not defined, :'(4 -
Anybody else get shouted at by partner when you put all heavy stuff at front of conveyer when shopping, or rearrange dishwasher so more things will fit, etc. I thought I was just being logical about these things...1
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I have a choice to either take a leave without me wanting to or to go waste my day with the people in a theme park that I already don't much like.
All because someone wants their picnic figures to look good.3 -
Anti climactic story time (as in there's no promotion in this story):
Sometime ago there were some organizational changes happening in my company that put me in a very tricky place. Theoretically, I was put on a level that was supposed to be an upgrade from my previous level. Practically, it didn't come with any benefits and it was actually a downgrade because anyone who joined the company in the six months before these changes was in the same level as me (who'd been in for roughly 2 years).
It felt really insulting because I was about to be actually promoted. My manager and his manager tried to gaslight me into believing that I'm not at all affected in any way, before giving in and agreeing that a mistake was made. I was promised that next year it'll be corrected and I'll be promoted two levels. Even the HR assured me of that. I knew it was too good to be true but I was too demotivated to find another job.
Fast forward one year. My bosses are all praises for the work I put in. But, no two level promotion. Reason? They tried but couldn't get the management to agree. The boss apologized to me and asked me if I wanted him to try again. What an insolent arse!
Fast forward one more, extremely glum year.
This time I am part of a different team so the team lead is different but the manager is same. The team lead really went all out with showing appreciation for me. He talked for almost an hour(!) about how I exceeded his expectations and went on to claim that his app's release would have been impossible if it weren't for me, the new team member. It was really humbling and satisfying. But what did I get? A limp handshake from the manager with fucking loose change.
Silver lining. At least the manager did away with the 'well wisher, on your side' pretense this time. No mentions of failed promises, just regular empty promises for the future.
Fast forward 3 months.
Still here. Recovering. I am mulling over a much better offer than what my current boss can give me. Thinking about how long it takes before I'm in the dumpster again. I have stopped giving any fucks about anything here. I try to do the minimum required unless it benefits me in some way.
The end.4 -
Recently we got a new project assigned and as always you are hyped, really really hyped...........
We were supposed to find all kind of driver updates (especially bios ones) for all devices the company owns. So first of all we thought:
EAAAASY! A little bit of web crawling, regex, etc.
.
.
.
.
B
U
U
U
U
T
!
We were sooooo soooo wrong these fucking manufacturer websites are absolutely awful to crawl or parse and nowadays there are no proper FTP Servers or something else anymore you could use to get the information. Every subsite is little bit different...
While coding and literally brute forcing possible urls (there was some kind of vague pattern) we learned AGAIN to appreciate proper developed and designed websites. Especially by devs who may have some more usage scenarios in mind for their site than simple human clients.
So thank you to all of you awesome web developers who design proper websites and web tools!
All in all it took us 2 weeks to come up with a proper solution (by the way we are a smal team of 3 devs) which somewhat works reliable and can deal with site changes etc. -
In client terms, a “3rd party” is akin to Angelina Jolie. Despite the promise that you’ll be able to have an enlightening conversation over a nice meal and hopefully hook up afterwards ... sorry, it ain’t happenin’. You’re just gonna have to fantasize about it while you take care of business yourself.
-
I get the feeling, there are 2 devs in the Golang team, that were like
"Every idiot knows that Acronyms should be all caps."
"Da fuck?! Wanna know what should be all caps?!
The sign on your mom's brothel, dickhead!"
And so they both tried to establish their style as a convention in the stdlib, and that's why half the the Acronyms are written in all-caps and the other half isn't.1 -
When you're working in visual studio and trying to look through the suggested uses of an object and fucking shit keeps popping up all over the screen to tell what type things are and shit and you're just like "get the fuck out of the way I can't see shit you useless cunt fuck."
Visual studio buddy. You're killing me.2 -
Why is Gnome so bad? Had never bigger problems with Unity but this crap? Tried to use it but:
1. UX is crap, annoying animations everywhere, totally bloated
2. Missing for me important features, wasting space
Solution to these? 1 and half million of plugins. Ok
Part 2:
3. Less FPS in games...like 15 or 20 fps but still
4. When I play game in fullscreen and want to change volume on my keyboard the game gets smaller. Da fak?
5. 120Hz and visible stuttering
Solution to these? Use something else.4 -
me: *spends most of the evening coding his new shitty website*
me: *forgets to go to bed*
Da': "I hope you're not becoming game addicted"
My parents weren't very supportive about it at first because they somehow kept (and still are) linking it to game addictions...
But atleast now they accept that I became a dev because I always felt so empty when I was forced to come out from behind my PC and socialize like a "normal" person and talk about "normal" things.2 -
My first experience was when I found old book about visual basic. Many years after that I was thinking that every language has a magic function to sort array. But normal coding expirience i've got when some day me and my friend decided to create a game. And after 2 years of development - ta da, I knew how to code.
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Update to my last rant:
I wrote a reply to the person. Not scathing (as I'd have liked it to be) but firm and in a no nonsense way. My manager supported me. My project manager talked with the person to in order to convey what the issue is and to undo any misunderstandings due to written communication (we have different native languages).
I have not received a reply but my project manager told me that they are analyzing the problem now. I was also told that they are not a bad person. ^^
I think I'd like to believe that. We all make mistakes after all. -
On my free time I was looking for software where I could visualize the shape of the git graph to sort of reflect Git Flow. What I found was a bunch of git GUI's that list features that normal git already has:
- "undo local changes!"
- "squash commits!"
- "undo branch deletions!"
Da heck people actually pay for this?3 -
Deep Rant
Been coding my private projects for longer than a while creating repositories on github but I hav been struggling to get an internship since I graduated and before i graduated a year ago whr i do send my resume im told to get more work experience what da fuck is dat if no1 wants an intern2 -
On a website, which is evolving, QA guy wants specification for website testing. Da, click anything you find, see if some thing changes. There is no specification which can compensate for incompetence. Aaaaaaaaaaaargh........1
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So I recently installed Arch Linux... I don't get it. I got one little error... easy "fix" though :/ The minimum is up in less than half an hour... then maybe installing a desktop environment (I like MATE)... and... that's it.
What's the big thing I missed?
Is it only because "da user has da force" and "da user is da control master"?
Is it only that the user (in this case me, myself and I) is responsible for every fckin package, update whatever?
I'm sorry for my stupidity but... I'm not sorry for my intelligence 🧠 🤪
It didn't feel special in any way :(
but was a bit interesting 🤔7 -
Yay, nothing better than good ol' change request... Right?
Let's see...
Limit user's ability to do sth, if this condition is met, allow editing global parameter of this condtion, than add per action overrides, on top of that add per-user override, on top of that add per-user overrides to ignore certain overrides.
Shiit man, reading this took me 3-4 times and still Im not sure if I 100% understand
Okay, I think I got this.
setting
per-user ignore flag to setting
override to setting
per-user ignore flag to override to setting
override to override to setting
per-user ignore flag to override to override to setting
design assumption: automatic system that can make life easier
me: designed system to be fully automatic
every single change request: be less automatic, require more user manual and more attention to work2 -
Level of fuckity fuck mood.
After changing dozens of build plans in Bamboo, the build system of poo...
How to verify that nothing has gone wrong?
Poking the database, you'll be surprised that Bamboo stores the buildplan definition as XML.
Another surprise: Some of the keys / values have typos.
Yeah. You read that right. There are typos inside the XML...
Now together with Postgres, we can use XPATH and have some fun.
UNNEST(COALESCE(XPATH('/configuration/buildTasks/taskDefinition[userDescription[contains(text(),"Bleep")]]', build_definition.xml_definition_data::xml)::varchar[], ARRAY['']))
Lovely wrapping via coalesce for some null safety.
Now we get da task definitions for fields having user description text containing bleep.
Wrapping it in two REGEXP_REPLACE to strip out stupid identifiers....
REGEXP_REPLACE(REGEXP_REPLACE(...., '<id>\d+</id>', ''), '<oid>\d+</oid>', ''))
Then wrap that in MD5.
Boom. Lots of MD5 sums to help you identify if the configs are identical for a task or not.
Now wrapping that in another select to group by the MD5 and filter out the non identical ones.
I hate it how sometimes one has to seemingly do a full 2 hour dance for something as stupid as validation.
I'm pretty glad though for XML and XPATH.
Cause otherwise that would have been a whole can of worms I don't wanna think about....2 -
So I'm here after a long break coz my life is shit all over again, and only devRant allows me to rant officially.
I was selected by a recruiter visiting our college in very early days of the campus placements, September last year,
Problem 1:
I wasn't allowed to sit in any of the other recruitment drives by the college, even when I didn't really like the job profile I was in
Problem 2:
The company is taking 12 tests and wants me to work on 3 Projects of bootstrap, rails, and react each, before they give me joining.
Here I am working like an asshole with all frustrations after my college got over to finish the tasks without a penny.
This frustration is only causing more and more delay in my work. -
Feature request: please allow the app to work in landscape and rotate. I can't get to the hamburger menu in bottom right due to broken screen3
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I'm starting to look at how to get devices to send data to an endpoint for storage and analysis. I'm looking at AWS iot stuff like core and green grass but then I'm thinking that a REST API could also do the job. I don't need to connect devices to each other (in first iteration). Dont think I need any edge stuff either. Anybody have any experience with this?3
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Dvorak users, how do you manage your shortcuts, like in vim?
I can't quit it anymore! 😜
I am too scared to remap everything.6 -
Work has set us a challenge to build a rock/paper/scissors/dynamite/waterbomb api. We have the spec for what json is expected incoming and outgoing. We are allowed to implement any way we want and with any language we want. We are considering using Clojure but we have no experience with it, hence we will hopefully be learning as we go. Would you recommend using a framework like Pedestal, Hoplon, Luminus, or just use Leiningren or something else?
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This is the weirdest thing that have happened to me related to computers... When I connect an ethernet cable to my computer and I use the iex command (Interactive Elixir or elixir console, whatever) on my terminal it takes about 6 seconds to load but when I disconnect the cable and use iex again it starts instantly, like, what the fuck. This happens with any Elixir command. I've had this problem for several days and honestly I didn't know why it was taking so long to load.4
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There weren't enough barbed poles in my sorry ass apparently. For I have inserted in a big one by deciding to use blender. 😬
Zero background in animation but I want to create a little animation and PowerPoint isn't proving enough for it, and after fucking around with Synfig I realized I actually need a 3d animation tool.
So yeah. Basically, fucked myself. -
Were ganno play a game: whoever forgets to remove prints() inside of his commits has to da an allnighter to fix the most difficult issue.
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About the one ranting about people who don't know how to use Google:
that kind of people is my family, and, my sister ASK TO GOOGLE, really, she write all the homework of her school to google.
THATS why they dont find answers -
Shoutout to C0D4 - you da real MVP!
Tried to subscribe to your rants, but it looks like that feature is suddently missing? Not sure, since I'm a 🤡4 -
Neither one of them really *get* what I do, but mom likes to tell me his much she hates whatever program she uses at work as if I control the dev timeline.
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Never got to the bottom of if..but in school got to try VB and Pascal )))) Yeap..there were those times and got something in it...so ca 20 years later i cottcha myself speak some PHP, not completly fluent in HTML & CCS yet, understand a little python and JS with jQuiery....a big help of W3Shool..and the other cooding shcools. Well..my mobDev is full of coodeing learning apps and i know what is bootstrap....well..i am also in my 40 ies....never say its too late...ehh..what i am ranting here..i am just an amateur and selfy 😀 but nerdy and with da geek attitude...
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Happy National Backwards day January 31 (in the US) So for today all of us left handed dyslexics are correct 😁
Fun fact
leonardo da vinci used to write from right to left and wrote his letters backwards. The earliest cipher I can think of.2 -
What's a good inexpensive android phone for development. Something 14 year olds could use without breaking6
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Hey gang,
I'm kind of interested in learning some hacking/virus basics. I wanted to try out some scripts but I'm kind da nervous. Can I run simple viruses on a VM without worrying about my laptop getting infected too? I would think so, but I wanna be sure.
Also, if you have any resources you can point me to, that would be great. Thanks!2 -
Me love bcp to gcp. Now all me want to do is bcp everywhere all da time. I sound like jar jar binks. May da force be wid ya Mesa.
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English:
"I'm a liar."
Supposing I tell the truth, I'm not a liar. But that would mean that I am a liar, since I said that I am a liar.
Assuming I did not tell the truth, I would be a liar. But since I said the truth, I would not be a liar.
If one starts from the classical logic, one can make no logical statement. If one starts from the three-valued logic, I would say that "unknown" (u, ½
Is that true, what do you mean?
German:
"Ich bin ein Lügner."
Angenommen, ich würde die Wahrheit sagen, bin ich keine Lügner. Dies würde aber bedeuten dass ich ein Lügner bin, da ich ja gesagt habe dass ich ein Lügner bin.
Angenommen ich würde nicht die Wahrheit sagen, wäre ich ein Lügner. Aber da ich die Wahrheit gesagt habe wäre ich kein Lügner.
Wenn man von der klassischen logik ausgeht, kann man keine logische Aussage machen. Wenn man von der Dreiwertige Logik ausgeht, würde ich sagen, das "unbekannt"(u, ½) rauskommt.
Stimmt das, was meinst du?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/...
https://code.sololearn.com/cFvKb3r8...14 -
This Post is German and a question relating to the German School System.
Also: Ich bin momentan ein Abiturient und merke das ich das Abitur vermutlich nicht schaffen werde. (Aufgrund einiger Fächer), stehe aber Informatik eins und möchte gerne ein Systemintegrator (sysadmin) werden. Die Frage ist ob ich das Abi durchziehen sollte auch wenn es grade zu einem 4,0 Durschnitt (oder keinem) kommen könnte oder ob ich lieber jetzt zu einer Ausbildung und somit ein Fachabitur machen sollte...
Ich weiß wirklich nicht was ich nehmen soll deswegen dachte ich da hier einige Sysadmins sind ob ich hier vieleicht Rat bekomme.5 -
Hell, I always thought I was a team player, but is it a great week being the sole developer (all the other on vacation). So I didn't get interrupted all the time, read overblown PR. Still, even in their absence I spent about three days fixing their build issues and PR's, but I could sit down and read the code, some documentation to get a better understanding why it all sucks and what we should do with our pain in the ass build system.
It's really a blast, deleting some stupid code, removing superfluous dependencies and above all leaving snarky remarks in the commit messages and code comments. Just letting some steam off. Code is where my devrant is. -
Since HR does job postings on StackOverflow I'm aware that they have a landing page. ...did not expect that. 😀😀
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