*yesterday*
Client: "Perfect! How did you do this so quickly?"
Me: "I used a library"
*today*
Me: "I'm still debugging. It will take some time"
Client: "Well, it has already taken too long...I can hear Mozart in the background. Maybe you need to go to a library to get some quiet and get it done fast. Visit the one you used yesterday."
Me: "Library?...Ah, I meant plugin...like, code...a library is a bunch of packaged code"

When I finished my studies, I was looking for a job and had an interview at a smallish company.

Boss: can you do C?
Me: yes, I have already done some stuff in C.
Boss: I mean, are you really good in C?
Me, growing suspicious: well yes I already have been using it - but anyway, there's also the project documentation for looking up, right?
Boss: uhm, the code IS the documentation.

I envisioned myself being drowned in undocumented spaghetti code and wasn't really keen on that job anymore, but my following question pretty much ended the interview:

Me: oh, I see. Do you have any roadmap for getting your development to a more professional base?

His looks, priceless! He was just shocked when he realised that he had failed my interview, and that I was a fresher made it even harder to digest for him.

Manager: Oh my god have you heard of libraries? I don’t even need to hire developers anymore, everything can just be done with code other people have already built for free

Dev: Well you actually cause a bit of technical debt when you use an abstrac—

Manager: EVERY TICKET SHOULD BE DONE USING LIBRARIES GOING FORWARD.

Dev: …This is going to implode…Can we at least fund some of the libraries we end up using?

Manager: WHAT? NO! Open source developers are suckers, what idiot puts code on the internet for free?? I shouldn’t be required to fund their stupidity. Let’s just take their stuff and make money with it.

Dev: *Phone rings 100th time today from recruiter*. One sec I have to take this call……It’s urgent.

Manager: Good news everyone, I made a big giant announcement this morning that the app upgrades will be released today!

Dev: They definitely won’t be, we need another 2 weeks minimum. I told you yesterday

Manager: Ok well I already made the announcement that today was the day so too bad for you.

Dev: Doesn’t change the state of things

Manager: 😡 This announcement is supposed to motivate you to work faster! You guys are making me look bad when you don’t support me like this!

Dev: Working as fast as we can, it’s a 2 person dev team for 4 separate applications so it’s quite a bit to get pushed through

Manager: Ok well then stay extra then, we have to get this out asap. Tell your spouses they are not going to be seeing much of you until this work is done. People are starting to ask questions!!!!!

Dev: Not my problem, it’s done when its done. I’m not staying extra.

Manager: !!

// *************

Might be blowing my cover a little but what are they going to do? Fire me? Good luck getting this out without me. They’ve tried to replace me in the past but the cheapest person they could find was 60k more expensive than me and still couldn’t keep up. Probably they’ll ship the work overseas and the code will die in a dumpster fire and cost them even more. Ah well, just another company that doesn’t deserve code.

Someone Asks me : "Will programmers be needed in the future if AI is already created code?"

Your question clearly tells one thing; you have no idea what programing is about and how it is done.

For starters, software already writes code. In every major codebase there are lots of files with auto-generated code. Auto-generated code is something a program have written to provide interface to a service for the rest of the codebase. So code already writes code - if the purpose of the code is clearly defined.

The problem is that users rarely know what they actually want, and even if they know it, they are rarely capable of creating a clear enough specification of what they want.

A few years back, there was a super repetitive task I needed to do to create a bunch of new screens for a new feature.

The task was so repetitive that I just couldn't bring myself to do it, and was avoiding it as long as possible.

Finally the day came where I needed to get it done. I sat at the computer readying myself to finally start/finish the task.

As I was going through the files, I could see all the work had already been done..? Confused, I opened up git history, and saw that I had checked the files in a few nights back.

Best I could do was trace it back to a house party where I was the last to go to sleep.

That was the day that I realised the power of auto-pilot :)

boss: Hey! this is your task A. It needs to be done by today.
me: Ok boss
....after sometime when I am halfway through the task....
boss: Hey! here is a task B which needs highest priority.
me: but i am already doing A and I am halfway
boss: No, B is on priority
me: ok
...at the end of the day...
boss: So I hope you have completed task A as I mentioned that was to be done by EOD.
me: ****instant rage****

In my 1st semester, they taught us C++ basics
In my 2nd semester, they didn't teach us shit about CS.
In my 3rd semester, they taught us C basics
In my 4th semester, they taught us Java basics
In my 5th semester, they are teaching us Scratch and Python basics

Can you be fucking done with basics already for fuck sake? I'm a fucking Front End Developer here interning with companies and getting paid whilst I pay a fucking huge sum as college fee and learn fucking basics I knew back in high school? And you're teaching me Scratch, what the fuck is wrong with you; kids in pre-school are taught scratch. Fuck you education system, India!

Which countries should I consider for my post grad?
I'm so fucking done here.

"You want to create a stunning website?
I've already done it.... with Wix"

😑

SKIP

Client: why hasnt anything been done for the new site?
Me: because you never paid for the last one thats been put into production
Client: yeah but that was a smaller simple site. I need this one up and done already
Me: it'll be worked on when I get paid for my previously worked time for you.
Client: but that was a month ago. I don't understand why you are asking for payment now
Me: because you never paid me for last months work!!
Client: but its may now
Me: holy shit, -clients name-, I know very well what month it is and dont need a lesson. I also know better than to work for free. I have bills to pay just like you and everyone else so until you have paid the last invoice, I'm not lifting a finger for you. That includes answering your calls
Client: oh well why didnt you just say that to begin with

Motherfucking fuck people are horrid and dumb and make me violent

me: "ah, my scraper is nearly done - just need some final tweaks"

coworker: "JuSt FrOm LoOkInG aT yOuR ScReEn A fEw TiMeS tOdAy, I cAn TeLl YoU iT wOnT wOrK"

me, infuriated by his idiot mentality but not trying to start anything: "ah, its fine, I've already scraped 3000+ entities"

coworker: "but it wont work."

me: "but... its working..."

coworker: "but it won't work."

me: "ok."

sometimes its just better to just affirm the narcessistic assholes. make sure they are right.

The moment that I finally understood OOP.

Several teachers had already given up explaining it over and over again but one classmate took a few hours to explain.

Suddenly, after a few hours, that AH-HA! moment was there!

I've done as much OOP programming as possible since then and have explained it to others who were struggling with it as well 😊

Last week
Customer: I want <totally useless app idea that already exists>, how long will it take to build it?
Me: I think such an app already exists, but according to your requirements I believe we could finish it around May 6th.
Customer: OK, but our app will be so much better.
-finishes meeting and signs contract-

Monday
Customer: will the app be done soon?
Me: as we discussed in the meeting last week, it won’t be done until May 6th.

Tuesday
Customer: will the app be done soon, when will it be in the app stores?
Me: As I explained yesterday, it won’t be finished before May 6th.

Wtf????

Nothing better on a Monday morning than oversleeping, realizing that that one server issue notification was a general notification app one and there actually have been loads of disruptions, trains are down...

If they're out of coffee at the station in fucking done with today already.

1) get an idea for a cool app
2) evaluate feasibility and execution
3) ensure accessible data streams and APIs
4) get excited and realize the idea is doable
5) see someone has done that exact thing and it's already published on the Appstore :/

Soooooo got fired on my day off!! 😁😁😁 Y am I sooo happy??? Bc the company's president sucks, and glad to be gone!!

So, I come in on my day off trying to help him with a promo for an app I was working on, and ass face come in with a chip already on his shoulders.

Him: So what are u going to show me?

Me: A walk through of the app.

Him: No, what specifically are u going to show me?(already getting upset)

Me: The whole app. Like from the login screen and everything else.

Him: No! I need to knw specifically what your going to show me! Like this button, that menu, this function!!!(boiling point)

Me: That's what I said, "the whole app"

Him: Do u want to be suspended a whole week??!!!

Me: (smiling) Yes!!

Him: You knw what, ur gonna tell me what the fuck ur gonna show me or--

Me: Gets up, grab my phone and head towards the door.

Him: If u leave, ur done!!

Me: Dnt care. (Continue out the door)

Him: (yelling) That's it, ur done!

Me: Happy 😁😁😁

Our working hours are from 9 to 6 which is the standard in Malaysia (I'm not malaysian )

Yesterday I came in around 10AM and my boss took me to his room as soon as I arrived.

Boss: If you were in school and you come late what do you expect to happen ?

Me: get punished, I'll compensate by working an extra hour today.

Boss: well our clients aren't available at your extra hour and I'm struggelling with a big client you're supposed to ship the rest of his site and golive today and he's freaking out

Me: yh well his site is done it just needs final QA before going live.

Boss: oh its done already?, cool cool. Anyway you shouldn't be late you're not Malaysian and being late doesn't run in your genes like them.

*ops manager (Malaysian) walks in*

*boss confused*

*ops manager looks him in the eye*

*boss looks at the ground*

* me giggling while walking to my desk*

Pretty new at the job still.

-”Hey, best practice to do X?”

”Just check how we did it in previous code”

*checks whole bloody project, everything done in 500 different ways by 20 people*
*selects what seems as the best solution already used*

”Ya, you should have done X like this instead”

😒

When I'm coding, I often come up with some cool algos and when I do, I feel pretty good.
But the next second, I get this feeling that I know there are a million other people in the world who have solved the same problem with the same or better algorithm and I feel like shit. Like all the work I put in is somehow redundant.

Like finding answers on StackOverflow... When you do, you know the person who answered has already done it. You're just repeating it. But again, the fact that I'm looking for answers from other people in the first place is ....

I don't know. I guess I need to change the way I code from now on....

Manager: Hey Dev I need to do QA on this PR.

Dev: That PR is not finished yet

Manager: Well do QA now anyway, that way when it is finished it can be merged in right away since QA has already been done on it. It’s a project management technique called “fast-tracking” and it improves efficiency.

Dev: …

I'm starting to fucking hate the word 'done'.

Scenario 1:

Boss: How's the spec coming along?
Manager: Oh, it's done.

Manager to me: Hey can you get it done?
Me: Why would you call it done? There's a days worth of work and it's only half done. Boss wasn't even rushing it yet.

Manager: Too late I've already committed it. I'm sure it's simple anyway. Just do it.

Scenario 2:

Manager: Hey is it done?
Noob dev: Yea it's done.

*Commits half assed incomplete sphagetti shit that breaks stuff*

Manager: Well done. Completed so quickly.

FUCK THIS SHIT.

And BAM. Wrote a quick'n dirty little php script which works with loads of shell_exec calls to block all ip addresses belonging to an ASN number.

For example: If I get Facebook's ASN number and use it as parameter for this script with a custom name (for the iptables chain), the script creates a chain called the custom name, adds all ip addresses/ranges it got from the whois lookup (on the ASN number) with DROP to iptables and then it adds that chain to the INPUT and OUTPUT chains.

I've done some tests and can indeed genuinely not reach Facebook at all anymore, Microsoft is entirely blocked out as well already 💜

Client: You are bad developers. Your code has bugs and the site isn't even pretty. And why is it so damn expensive??
Us: ...

Same client (a month later): I need this campaign landing page with the option to register and an admin for user management. It should be done till the day after tomorrow because the URL is already in print. Here's the catalogue (in .pdf) in which it will appear. Use it as a style guide.

FUCK YOU!

I think in my case its a monitoring system I'm still writing which does already work (just far from done).

I got this as a crazy idea while thinking that it would be impossible to make and then thought fuck it and I wrote it.

Written in php, and as long as you can write a module for it, you can pretty much make it monitor anything you'd like.

I'm using it to monitor a few websites and servers I run :)

I realized it that the only time I talk confidently with a girl is when I am solving some technical problem or helping her understand some computer theory.

Pre and Post - this phase, I can hardly find any topic to talk and later they are also done talking to me.

Should I consider to search on how to talk to girls??
Google already suggests that even in incognito mode.

Is there someone else with me in the same boat?

So the company I work for had a critical project they needed done in 8 days.
We told our boss it wasn't possible because of the scope of the project but he went on with motivational speeches about how anything is possible. So he hired 12 devs for 8 days.
The scope of the project is already big enough but everyday upper management either add 10 new features, modify 2, or delete some already.
We basically sleep 2 hours a day and today is the last day. 5 minutes ago we just had a meeting that we're supposed to change a core feature. We don't even have a stable system yet and everyone is fucking pissed.

Finally thought I had a good project idea.

It's already been done and is a large site. 200k users.

WHY CAN'T I JUST COME UP WITH SOMETHING UNIQUE FOR ONCE?

I'm alone in the office today and already done a lot of work. How can I be so much more productive when nobody is around.

IPod didn't sync well on my Linux machines so decided to give windows - in a highly isolated environment disconnected from the Internet behind a firewall and sandbox - a shot with itunes.

- during the installation it wouldn't detect the fucking harddrive multiple times (genuine unlicensed copy) and after the 4-5th time it's random-fuckingly recognized out of fucking nowhere; I didn't change shit.
- crashes (blue screen and freezes) multiple times during the installation, multiple retries and suddenly it works(?!)
- it took about 10 minutes (!!!!!!!) to install 10+ drivers for an iPod and an external hdd:
Installing Apple iPod drivers... Done
Installing seagate drivers... Done
Installing apple iPod drivers... Done
Installing seagate drivers... Done
Installing Apple iPod drivers... Done
Installing seagate drivers... Done
Installing Apple iPod drivers... Done
Installing seagate drivers... Done
Installing Apple iPod drivers... Done

WHY INSTALL THOSE FUCKERS 5 FUCKING TIMES?!

- iTunes installation fails multiple times without error code (unknown error occured, restoring to original state...),just said fuck it and clicked the shortcut after the ***th fail and it works just like this, THANKS FOR NOTIFYING ME (NOT)!
- iTunes has to restore the entire ipod, this was done with iTunes in the store I bought it already, thanks for nothing.
-restore takes 30+ minutes?!
-syncs the iPod 3 times afterwards.

*clicks close button*
*are you sure you want to quit? Sync in progress*
*oh shit, cancels*
*itunes quits*
*?!?!?*

*tries to import media library*
*seagate hdd suddenly not detected*

I'm fucking tired of this bullshit, windows and iTunes can go die in a fucking corner after getting ass raped while their genitals are being scraped off layer by fucking layer and dipped into fucking acid.

I have those conversations with my coworkers about once a day. We use Linux at work and I am the only one with any real Linux experience.

C: I have a problem! I tried and googled everything already! Come help me...
M: *slowly walks over to their PC*
M: *copy-pastes the error into Google*
M: *clicks the first result*
M: *presses two buttons*
*everything works again*
M: So you tried Google already, have you?

When I leave there (it's a PhD position and I'm almost done) they will probably crash and burn...

I'm doing code review. Unsure about the deadline, I ask my co-worker:
Me: "Guess I'm half through, when do I have to be done?"
Co-worker: "Well if you're half through, you are already half done."
Me: "No shit, Sherlock."

LOL

*Got a request for installing and configuring an online shop for a client*

Me: Do you have a web space already?
Client: No, I don't want to pay for it. (FYI: They only cost about 20€ a year)
Me: Okay, but free hosters are often slow and unprofessional. I really do not recommend using free hosting services.
Client: Doesn't matter, do it.
Me: *Working on the shop for several weeks, finally goes online*
One week later, client contacts me saying shop is offline. I realize the free hoster he used shut down their services (bankruptcy), resulting in the loss of about 90% of the work that I had done (no proper backups due to complexity)
Client: How can that even happen? You'll redo the shop, right?

♪~ ᕕ(ᐛ)ᕗ

I don't think I've EVER wanted to hit the insert key.

"You know what would be great?"
"What?"
"If typing erased what you've already done so you can't actually edit anything"
"Sounds pretty great"

This days whenever I have a groundbreaking idea, my firs step is...

Google that exact title, because every possible app ideas are already done ✅

Boss: "is it done yet?"

Me: "I've been telling everyone we have a problem and I need all hands on deck. I've already analyzed the issue and explained it to you and the options but YOU PEOPLE NEED TO DECIDE or I decide and probably break things along the way..."

Why does everyone ignore me when I need help but are ok asking me when they need help?

/(ò.ó)┛彡┻━┻

Everything is a fucking priority.

According to the management, everything should be done yesterday already.

Gave me a single designer and developer while asking asking me to deliver long term and short term initiatives at the same time.

Morons.

Internship Rant #2

I can't believe I'm hating my job right now. It sucks because I have never coded in javascript and they expect me to code in javascript. I don't even know what I am doing, but I'm trying my best. I kinda have something already, but the worst part of it is that my boss comes in once in a while and sits beside me looking at my screen and of course, he expects me to tell him what I have been doing and what progress I have done. It's stressful cause I specifically told him that I have never coded in JavaScript and he still thinks I can get things done in a few days.

Perks of new job:
- I can take a bath there whenever I want
- gr8 bathroom 11/10
- gr8 heater, no need to have my hands shaking all the time
- workspace is nice and everyone has an extension so my phone and laptop are always on full charge
- flexible work schedule
- easy access to company files hehehe including credentials

Anyways, so I have to deal with this for three months.

I know it's not done yet but OOOOOH boy I'm proud already.

Writing a JSON parser in Lua and MMMM it can parse arrays! It converts to valid Lua types, respects the different quotation marks, works with nested objects, and even is fault-tolerant to a degree (ignoring most invalid syntax)

Here's the JSON array I wrote to test, the call to my function, and another call to another function I wrote to pretty print the result. You can see the types are correctly parsed, and the indentation shows the nested structure! (You can see the auto-key re-start at 1)

Very proud. Just gotta make it work for key/value objects (curly bracket bois) and I'm golden! (Easier said than done. Also it's 3am so fuck, dude)

QA : There is a bug, come at my desk now !
Me : I'm busy on some feature, can you make an issue on Jira I will fix it later.
QA : NO! It's a major issue
Me : Ok... I come.
* 3 hours later *
QA : I just created you the Jira you asked
Me : I told you, the bug is already fixed since 2 hours
QA : yeah but I will not test it until you mark the issue as done on Jira

.... Are you kidding me ??? So you interrupted me in my work two times for one stupid issue...

Adios Motherfucker!
Finally got that pile of misery finished. That simple ticket exploded in complexity and had quite a bit of scope creep. So so glad it's over. I mean, apart from code review and QA. But still. It's done!

Also: I may have been drinking already. Clearly not enough from the painful lack of typos and silliness. Gonna go work on that.

Mid-Friday: Boss: Start programming this application.
Me: Cool, how will it be setup? what lang-
Boss: Everything's already setup, just start programming in PHP. Check in and make sure it's done by Wednesday morning before 9.
Mid-Tuesday:
Me: Cool, it's done. Had some trouble with connecting our database to the clients, some permissions were conflicting.
Boss: Now I need you to pull it, publish it to our other azure portal, change it to ASP.NET Core 2.1 MVC and install it to teams. Also change the database to MySQL.
Me: I thought everything was already setup.
Boss: things change.
Me: Cool.
*Pulls an all nighter*
Me: Something isn't right...
Wednesday
Me*hasn't slept yet*: It's done.
Boss: Why do you look so tired?
Me: I was working last night
Boss: Well you shouldn't do that.
Me: The deadline is today. only way it was going to get done before 9 was to do it last night.
Boss: Doesn't matter.
9am Meeting:
Boss: it was easy, no hassle, it's up and running.
Me: no hassle?

Today I learned a lesson from corporate survival 101.

The difference between get it done vs get it right.

Boss, manager always want to get it done, while developers always want to get it right, most of the time. If you don't listen to your boss, manager and insist get it right, will eventually cost your job. I saw many get it done code, either the dev moves to another team or already left. They avoid their own code forever.

Perhaps be a good student, not the smart student is a good way to survive. Thought????

I'm investigating PRs for a super legacy codebase. Someone else already approved the PRs -- somebody who has never even run the code or had the project set up before.

The codebase hasn't been touched in two years, and it hasn't been updated in four. It's using CoffeeScript, Node v0, Electron v0.30, and Angular 1.x. I obviously don't have a dev environment anymore, either, and my previous dev env was on Windows, so I'll have to translate my custom build utilities from batch to bash (or much more likely: node).

To make matters worse: the PRs break both the initial project setup and the project itself (NPM can no longer find some installed packages, among other problems). And. someone already merged them into master. So: fuck.

I'm going to yell at the author and tell him to fix his shit. Why? Because when I check out my last commit prior to his PRs, everything works perfectly. Surprise!

I was so done with this project two and a half years ago. I'm still so done with it. I just don't want to maintain this anymore, or honestly even look at it. I would happily rebuild the project from scratch, but updating it from the days of IE8? No way.

A conversation that me and my boss had this week:
Boss: "Hey, why is this not progressing"
Arcsector: - "We're waiting on system users to move their destinations"
"We need the system in the database in order to move it"
- "Okay awesome - let's move it, oh wait, I can't do it because I don't have access, here's the stuff that needs to be done: a, b, and c"
"Oh I'm actually not able to help with that"
- "So then how are we supposed to get it done?"
"idk but also this other issue is something missions are complaining about"
- "oh I already am talking to them about it and it should be remedied by the team creating the problem because it's a false positive"
"Well we need to solve it still"
- "We would've solved it already but it has dependencies with other projects that we're still working on because we don't have enough people"
"We cant get you more people because we don't have the budget"
- "Then this stuff will have to wait"
"Get it done"

ACTUALLY SCREAMING! Why cant people understand that there are conesequences for their actions??!!

I'm such a goof!

I observe that I create problems out of nothing when I'm stressed or even when I'm excited.

Had my US visa interview few days ago.

I might be one of stupidest person this particular consulate employee has seen.

My visa interview was done, I came out of the building and I noticed one of my passport was missing. I panicked and told an employee ( who also happened to be the same employee who took my biometrics - I had also goofed up a little there ) that I forgot my passport in the counter.

Duh, if visa is approved they will take the passport. I already knew it, but still I forgot!

🤦🏻‍♂️

Manager: Could you create the UI for the new feature? The client wants to test it. We need it in 3 days.

*1 week later*

Client: IT DOESNT WORK

Me: This is just a visual demo... but everything will work when we realse the feature.

Client: okay but can I see what it will do?

Of course you can! Just wait until we relase it!

*2 weeks later*

Manager: What are you doing?

Me: Working on the UI for the new feature.

Manager: Wait, hadn't you already done it for the demo?

Me: That UI didn't really work. It was basically a bunch of HTML, without reactivity or abstraction or any functionality.

Manager: Okay, how much where you able to re-use?

Me: almost nothing.

Manager: So... you wasted those 3 days?

Oh so I'm the one who wasted 3 days.
Me: Kinda, yeah

Manager: Why couldn't you have done this when I asked you to do the UI?

You can't expect good quality code in 3 days. Pls stop wasting it on demos.

Today a few friends got together and built my gfs new computer. I just watched because.... I'm a hardware n00b :p

Anyways, it took them about 2 hours building all the stuff together and now we're done installing Windows from via disc. The problem is, it's 2015 windows. So we're updating.
And it already takes more time to update windows than building the actual computer.

Nice!

(Btw that's me in the background, super [not] comfy codepen-ing)

Back then, whatever finished tasks I have done, our CTO always contradicts my idea and finds a way to humiliate me. I don't get the point why he did that. Probably, he didn't want me to excel at something or he really does have crab mentality. I already reported this issue to our CEO because I was being harassed and submitted my resignation letter.
And boom! Guess what? It looks like our CTO just stepped a chicken manure and treats me nicely like a princess.

P.S. To be honest, it took him like a couple of months to step down and act normal like nothing happened. Really appreaciated the A-ffort, though!

Just started developing a to-do list that interacts with Calendar in swift.

Having done a lot of frontend development with js frameworks, xcode + swift + CoreData makes me want to blow my brains out.

I thought Java was verbose, but swift takes verbosity to a new level. Why does unwrapping variables make my program better?

I have already permanently broken my project twice by changing class names and changing the CoreData datamodel in xcode.

I had to create new projects, copy and paste the exact code from the old project into the new project and the code ran fine.

As soon as you need to do anything custom with a view, you have to pray to god someone has posted an example using very similar data.

Otherwise you have to read the apple documentation which is about as helpful as xcode's segfault dumps, unless you already know the names of the objects and methods that you need.

I am on a team of 2 currently at work.

I am assigned to build some custom code for a customer going live with our product soon.

Because my team mate is already working on another customers project I explained the work may not be done in time because we were not given sufficient notice for our team of two to plan for the project.

Sales team contact me later that day asking me why I told our customer we don't have enough resources.

He wanted me to find a better phrase to tell them like "We have half our team dedicated to your project."

Another reason to hate our sales team 🤪

Our team was having a problem with very slow response times from a 3rd party web service they were contacting to get some device stats. No issues on the other end, but it had already been weeks. They ask me to take a look at it.

I take a few days, do a couple of benchmarks and tests and I isolate the section of code responsible. Turns out, the method they were calling would timeout if the device was offline. We ask the vendor, and they confirm this. They tell us to call methodX to check if it was up.

After having done that, lookup now only took seconds. They were annoyed that it wasn't documented but was just glad it was fixed.

F*ck all that out-of-date people who are like "You can not get a living out of IT" and the "You work on that application 6 months now, it should be already done." My parents do that shit aaaaall the time. Like they know so much about this when they can't even turn on wifi on their phones. You're enthusiastic and all and they come and start bullying you because they don't understand shit about what you do.

So one of my friends has just had a child and it's already a month old...

Was thinking to myself what I've done this past month... Started 4 new projects, cancelled 3 of them already and drank 3 slabs of beer to myself...

Think I know who has had a better time...
*Cries salty Dev tears*

Motherfuckin fuckidy duck fuck!

I am so done with Azure for today!

After I ran out of space on a secondary drive I shut the VM down and increased said drive and now after starting it (which takes way too long already) I can't ssh into it: "Connection refused". Diagnostics say "everything is fine bruh" and now I'm stuck with an inaccessible VM which I already spent half the night on configuring and downloading 60gb of sources.. aaargh!

A product owner recently joined the team and wants to run Google Ads on the website just to make a little more money.

We have 4-5 features already built that would have gotten the job done but he's focusing more on selling out user's data to advertising companies, and he put those features in the backlog.

I know I'm just a developer but I took the website development when it was nothing and put it where it is now. It has 8000 subscribers paying $19.99 each every month.

Email: "we have carried out a phishing test company wide"

Me: Nice!

Email: "results are here"

Me: wow, already done? Didn't even see the email. I must've subconciously discarded it! Damn, I'm good!!

Email: "the test was carried out yesterday"

Me: *was OOO y-day*

Me: fuck

!rant
Just started working for a new company. Super cool. Just like the last one (as far as perks), except they actually trust their devs.

Old company: Make sure your code is extensible
Devs at old company: You know it's not written in stone right?
Old company: Does that mean you can make it do this?
Devs at old company: No. That's the wrong code base

New company: I need a feature. Get it done when you can
New company devs: Well, guess I'll take some time to refactor all this stuff while I'm at it
~Some time later~
New company: Thanks, that feature works great!

No staring over shoulders, asking when it will be done. No asking why we want to refactor something. As long as work continues to flow, there are no issues. It's great!

Also, if we want to try a new tech, we just have to put together a short paper explaining why it will work better in that situation than the tech that's already in place.

Dear client,

Every email you send me slows me down.

So that piece of work you keep bugging me about that you want done sooner and then adding other problems on top and then asking about it everyday even though we have already discussed this, it's going to be delayed,... due to your incessant emailing!

And just because you have been busy all year and finally slowing down doesn't mean I'm slowing down!

Come on holidays to no reception or internet service!

*Randomly using laptop to serialize data
*Only 8:53, already at 47%
*Checks bag for laptop cord
*Sees its not there
Oh god what have I done

That's it, I'm fucking done with this fucking bullshit of a year, really, everyone is fucking dying, just end already

Spent a couple hours writing a new feature yesterday, and finished it only to discover that somebody lazily wrote the global method that my feature was utilizing. Emailed them and told them that I completed the feature and asked them to fix the bad method. Figured that I wouldn't commit my code changes until he fixed his method. He proceeds to fix the method, and then completely redoes the feature I ALREADY TOLD HIM THAT I FINISHED. He removed me from the backlog story that I was assigned to and did the feature the exact same way I did. Motherfucker I already told you that it was done, you just needed to fix your lazy shitty global method. You did twice the work and wasted my time. If you wanted credit for your work, that's fine -- you could've created a new story to fix your method. Now I've wasted hours of my time writing a feature and then reverting the changes because you couldn't follow directions

I used to use WinBtrfs on Windows to get away from the clusterfuck that is NTFS on my WD Elements. But today I figured.. why? Why not just mount the drives to my file server already? I mean even over a USB 2.0 link, a USB 3.0 drive will perform decently. Not as good as my RAID-0 array there for sure, but still. So, that's it.. fuck it. Done with trying to get WanBLowS to adapt to my needs. Decent drives for a decent operating system, all the 10TB straight to my file server!! Then WanBLowS can go jerk itself in its clusterfuck of NTFS and SMB shit, while the actual grunt work is done by something that's at least reliable and won't shit itself - Linux. As it should be done!!! Trying to get WanBLowS to manage something more important than browsing the Phasebuk, what was I even thinking?!

Going through the list of projects:

Nope...

Absolutely nope ...

Burn it Nope.

Nononono.

Don't touch this.

It's so fluffy, I will die.

Wow. If this was a fungus, it could talk by now.

What the hell was that...?

Uh. Ehm. So old it's already done. Oopsie.

...

2 hours later...

...

Well. Backlog is sorted.

Conclusion: I just don't work anymore.

-.

I think it's time to add a field "pain level" to Jira.

And I doubt that the backlog contains any ticket less than pain level 8 / 10. -.-

But yey. I ordered beer.

I'm a bit tired of dev and applying for a customer support job for half my current income. During interview I already got promoted to technical support. Even dev job was possible, but I'm done. I've seen the wheel reinvented too much. Also, the looks of software became more important than ever and that's not something I do.

But I'm very positive now. I know the company already, they're great! Super culture! Always hired the right people and me once before as a py dev

Anyone an idea? Trying to install proxmox on my HP Proliang again but no matter what I do, it can't find a bootable disk. I've done this about 20 times before (and that worked well) and I did change the boot order but I already set that back again.

Anyone? Help 😥

Wtf is all this talk of AI regulation all of the sudden? We have barely achieved anything on AI and they already wanna put chaines on it?

Just because people are pussies who are afraid that skynet will develop rape-robots who go around giving std's to everybody they see doenst mean there should be regulations on something thats still in diapers.

ESPECIALLY WHEN ITS PROBABLY GOING TO BE DONE BY FUCKING POLITICIONS WHO PROBABLY THINK AI ONLY MEANS KILLER ROBOTS.

I just logged into my bank account to see that everything has changed. More basic, primitive styling and in general it is shit. Why am I ranting about this, because I could tell from looking that it has been done to be more mobile friendly. Sure enough I resized the screen and everything snapped into place like it would on a mobile.

Now I've got to put up with an inefficient and more time consuming UX all because some twat in the bank has decided to pander to mobile devices nearly ten years after they've been introduced even though there's already a mobile banking app for that.

Responsive design is like living with a dwarf, because one of you is small, nobody else is allowed to have cupboards on walls anymore. Bastards!

Currently trying to convert a Python (2.7) framework into its C++. Surprise, surprise, the C++ APIs are also all deprecated

"Here's a guide to creating your project using our non-deprecated framework, except it will still call our deprecated methods under the hood"

Additionally, I had to make this framework work with OpenCV, which was complaining about my C++ framework being deprecated and not being able to link to missing modules (which were already installed).
All of this has eaten 4 hours of my life, I could as well throw the laptop out of the window

"Try reinstalling the missing modules separately"
*installation takes less than 1 minute*
*runs build again, everything work*

I'm done for today *flies away in desperation*

hey buddy mate pal friend bro nacho

IF YOU FINISH A TASK NOT ASSIGNED TO YOU THEN FUCKING ASSIGN IT TO YOURSELF SO WE DONT WAIT FOR SOMEONE TO DO WHAT YOUVE ALREADY DONE

One of my colleagues held a very short, literally 5 minutes, interview today. The candidate was looking for an android developer position.

Me: Done already?😕
C: Yep. Had enough.
Me: How come?
C: I asked him if he has any apps on the store? No. Any public git? No. Any apk? No.
C: Ok what experience do you have?
Dude: I worked on a app similar to imdb 4 years ago. I made a page for it.
C: *Page* *triggered* *internal screaming* 😂
C: Ok and since then?
Dude: Nothing.
C; Ok, we'll call you.

Best ot luck in your android dev career mate. Never gonna hear from us.

How can you come to an interview and be so unprepared. Was he delosutional or something?😕

Spend almost 3 days translating a library from js to python, 2 hours to upload it to PyPI, 10 seconds realizing, that there is already a library that does the same thing + something a friend of mine is working to achieve. I am so fucking done...

(At least I some new learned stuff in JS and Python)

Just a couple weeks ago I felt a bit like a hero.

My boss, who seems to have only a vague understanding of realistic deadlines, for once made an error that gave me more time than I needed, not less. I was working on a feature that other work would rely on, so some people had to wait to work on their own projects until I was done.

My boss said it would be done in two weeks, but the only reason why it would have taken that long was because I'd have to submit a ticket to our identity management team to set up the SSO integration with our identity provider, and their turnaround time is two weeks. Or it used to be, but they've actually gotten really fast recently, and as I'd actually grabbed this feature from someone else who had to take a few days off, he'd already gotten the SSO stuff taken care of in advance. My boss promised two weeks and I finished in two days. The shocked silence when they asked for a status update in our next meeting and I told them I'd just finished it was music to my ears.

Some idiots ripped off our work and code that was open sourced and wrote a paper on it and got it published from some cheap publisher. Even for me to some benefit of doubt or consider that probably they worked on advancing our research….they didn’t even give us any credits!

Heights of shamelessness!

FYI, we already had an IEEE paper published!

I don’t mind if you guys have any suggestions on how I can get back at them. I don’t think a rant is going to calm me down for what they have done.

“Hi - we’ve done an analysis of the front end codebase and we’ve determined that it would be a good idea to start using Bootstrap. Are there any concerns with this?”

“Hey - no concerns, we actually already use Bootstrap in all those places.”

“I was not aware. So you’re saying there are concerns?”

I got a kindle paper as a hand me down gift. And I feel I'm reading so much more than before, now!

I'm starting a new small novel
A Wrinkle in Time, I'll be reading alongside my girlfriend.

I'm 52% done with a book called
Python Tricks: The Book
Literally coolest book I've touched. Contains a bunch of different tidbits about the language, granted most of them confirmed my understanding, but it's still neat to read and learn about them in a more rigorous setting.

I'm 13% done with another book called
How to Day Trade for a Living
I'm heading for the crypto currency exchange, but with a catch,
I'm reading another book called
Genetic Algorithms with Python
You can probably already guess where I'm heading.

I feel armed with more knowledge and I feel like this is a really great way to start the New Year off.

IBM decided to change the EOL of CentOS 8 from 2029 to 2021, then continue CentOS as useless RR testbed. What a nice attempt at forcing users into the paid RedHat version.

That's a risky move because Rocky Linux is already gearing up to replace CentOS, and the whole RedHat ecosystem could bleed out to Ubuntu, Suse, and Debian LTS. Well done, suits.

My latest post about my mother made me finally realize the whole picture.

Five minutes ago, I send her a long message that describes how I feel. This message will be the very last act of communication that will happen between us.

This felt like a bullet coming one inch away from my head. Like SWAT team rescuing me from a predator's basement where I spent the last ten years. Part of me already realized what happened and is serene, part of me still can't get used to an idea that this was, in fact, the end, and no further harm will be done.

My future is bright. It's so nice to feel that she doesn't know where I live.

The moment when you realize you searched about half an houre for someting you could have done easier in a way you already knew.

Client - "hi, I got the mail. Is the app complete.......","...you've done this part?....","...have you done that blabla section..."

😑..I already wrote it in the mail that it is complete, dumbass. And Why don't u just flipping RUN it and see if this part and that section is working properly and tell me if your highness can spot something incomplete.

No I'm not overreacting. He acts like this all the time.

That feeling when you've done a major refactor on you project and it's going to run for the first time... Then you hope it will have no problems/bugs/crashs but you already know it will

I swear my ISP has already done away with net neutrality. My connection is always going out whenever I need to look something up for work.

FRIDAY MADNESS:

As I was so busy coding, one colleague was taking a break and distracts me as he's done with his task. As he approached, I snobbed.

Him: Dude, did you know that there's a generator for all the images in sprite?
Me: really? How?
Him: spritegen.website-performance.org. What's cool about it is that the html and css are already generated just like in font awesome. For example, that i tag...
Me: cool. I wonder dude, why would they use i tag when it makes the text italicize, right?
Him: right. Probably because its used for icons also because icons starts with letter i.
Me: LOL.
Him: LOL.

Can someone explain me AI/ML/DL in traditional algorithmic way without AI jargons?

What I currently understand is that they convert the training data to numbers based on a complex black boxed mathematical algorithm and then when a new data comes in, the same conversion is done and a decision is taken based on where the the new number fits in within the geometry/graph plot of the old numbers from training. The numbers are then updated. Is this what they call AI? Nearest number/decision search?

Kindly try to avoid critic, I am having a difficult time understanding the already trending AI stuff. People say that the algo exists from long back but only now we have the compute power.

UGHH AMANDA, I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR PILATES SESSION OR WHETHER YOU HAD MORNING COFFEE.

CAN WE SKIP THE SMALL TALK AND FUCKING GET THIS MEETING STARTED ALREADY?

ok fine, I won't be getting much done today (as usual), but that doesn't mean I HAVE TIME TO DEDICATE LISTENING TO YOUR BULLSHIT.

Appointments, gym, grocery shopping... Can't wait to be done so I can get home and code already.

Manager : (During 2 weeks before final release) So the client asked if we could have this xyz functionality which we never have done before.
Me: But we already have so many issues to fix and only a week to do that
Manager: that's true.. So Complete them in 3 days ?

Customer: as soon as you get a proof of concept could you send it to me?

Me: sure *sends app to test* here is what it currently does and does not do.

Customer: thanks, here is a list of 59284 things that dont work or need changed.

No shit sherlock. It's not done, you wanted a very early version, and of the things you listed I already mentioned half of those.

Ok Im done. I‘ll quit my job in the upcoming 6 weeks.
I have posted about it in the past. I cant imagine doing a job I hate for longer than absolutely necessary if you don’t have people depend on you.
My job is boring, my position redundant, my colleagues are pretentious and pricks, my boss doesn’t care about my work and I am miserable doing something completely meaningless for company I am sure will not survive the next 12 months.

I have floated out my resume to some companies yesterday evening. Do you guys have any recommendations where to look except the typical job platforms? I would like to either have a interesting position as a Fullstack developer gaining more experience with BE or it must be a job about something meaningful. I have already scanned the jobs on all NGOs but of course they don’t seem to need any software developers.

I am fucking done doing stuff that goes directly to the trash can just because some useless PM had a brain fart. My life is too short to do this shit anymore.

The most recent that comes to my mind is from one of my previous projects. Our team is already overloaded and frustrated​ working for this garbage client. One fine day, out of the blue, the client once again revises the list of go-live critical development objects.

Our project manager takes this issue up with the client, and then with our management when the client does not listen.

The response he gets from our management is along the lines of, "But it's just forty development objects. Why are you complaining? Just get it done."

Needless to say, the motivation levels of the entire team went on a downward spiral soon after.

I never use linux, we are entirely on windows everything at work...i'm a .net guy, and all my home stuff is on windows too. But, I have to take a linux class so I got ubuntu going on a virtual box. Prompt for updates comes up (shit, here we go. on a virtual machine with hardly any resources allocated to it no less, better get comfortable). Hit install and it's done before I can even finish shitting my pants in shock at its speed. Seeing all these "linux is better" rants in a slightly different light already, and looking forward to poking around with it

So here I am testing some python code and writing to a file. No big deal. But damn is it taking a long time to get data back from this API. Ah it's fine I'll let it work in the background.

40 minutes later.

Oh! The requests timed out. No big deal. I'll just cut out the parts that are already done.

1st request in.
I wonder what the file is looking like.
Only showing 1 request.

waitaminute.jpeg

I should have more than that.
*Suddenly realizes that I was writing to the file and not appending.

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck

"Yesterday "
Client: ''Perfect! How did you do this do quickly? "
Me: "I used a library"
"Today "
Me: "I'm still debugging. It will take some time"
Client: "well, It has already taking too long.... I can hear Mozart in the background. Maybe you need to go to a library to get some quite and get it done fast. Visit the one you used yesterday. "

Me: "library?Ahh... I meant plug in like.... Code, a library is a bunch of packed code. "

My ideal job is one in which the client does not ask for any kind of change when you already have 99.9% done.

Fuck unreasonable deadlines. Just do your stuff as if you have the time of the world. Stop compromising the quality of your work and things are going to be done when they're done. Good quality stuff that's worth the wait.

I started to tell this to myself this week. For months now I took the bait that everything is urgent. And whatever crap management want has to be done yesterday. But.... Well... They pushed it too effing far.

Redo this module that took the former team about six months to finish. You have 10 days.

Well... What? Everyone is saying yes?... Everyone going full code monkey making no progress?

This is the moment I stop compromising and stop listening to your suggestions. I am going to do what I know how to do, the way I know it works, and I will not cut one corner based off your suggestions. I'm sorry, I've been dealing with this shit for too long already, and I don't want to suffer the consequences of degrading the quality of what I write anymore.

I finally finished what I considered the biggest challenge thus far: rant editing, deleting and also favoriting/unfavoriting. You can already post rants through my app as well! I am getting so damn close to being done with the basic things. After that - notifications!

*needs to repartition disks
*is mounted, need live usb
*download and burn gparted live, ≈20min
*reboot, usb not bootable
*try again, maybe it's corrupt...
* nope it just won't boot
*download and burn puppy Linux ≈20min
*is bootable
*installs gparted
*opens gparted
*repartition disks
*NOPE
*e2fsck failed: get a newer version of e2fsck
*already the latest version
*hmmm, maybe if I build it myself
*dependency hell
*dependency hell
*dependency hell
*give up
*download and burn Debian live ≈40min
*try to install gparted
*can't get WiFi drivers working
*give up
*download and burn Ubuntu
*opens gparted (already installed)
*partitions disk, leaves to complete overnight (it will have to move ≈60GiB)
*comes back in morning
*computer went to sleep after 10 mins
*late to work but oh well I at least got it done

I am 99% done with my academic project, but still the workload is heavy, and I've got too much on my plate already, mom's spaghetti

A manager who asked me to research and produce documentation on findings on a new system upgrade we could apply. Report on the risks, the amount of resource and time that would be needed etc. And the benefits of upgrading. Then after recieving the documentation and taking 1 month to read it, refused to make any form of decision without asking managers 2 levels above them who respond with "It is your decision". Then deciding it's best not to upgrade at this time. Okay, no probs.

6. Months. Later. That thing I said I didn't want you to do? I want you to do it now, could you get that done by the end of the week seeing as you have done the research already? Oh yeah and I will be off for the next two weeks as I am off on a ski holiday, so good luck with that.

"But we already decided on this"

- or-

"We've done it this way before"

2 excuses that seem to allow you implement / design what ever the fuck you desire

Management (origin India) have been recruiting many developers from my country in Africa so as to facilitate lower pay, amongst other reasons. And today, I was told, in a suggestive but ordering tone, to start getting paid by project done, whereas I’m the head of VoIP and built the infrastructure from ground up prior to app launch.

All features(calls in both directions, voicemails, power and predictive dialer, voicemail greeting, call forwarding, etc) done already.

I was told this by a non-programming personnel.

If you already know the best way to get this project done, then why are you paying us? Do it yourself then!

Starting the week with a 3 hour meeting to discuss importing Customer data to a new crm, if I should be allowed to take the time to do it or not.

I finished it last week and already imported the data to the syst enviroment and scrubbed it.

I spend more time Waiting for meetings and attending than doing the work.

HOLY CRAP STACKOVERFLOW! I get that you're trying to make it easier for people to get their questions answered by structuring question-asking into a multi-form wizard with guides and problem-checking along the way. But when you block my question from being submitted AT ALL after I've done _absolutely everything_ you've asked and then you tell me that my question isn't valid simply because someone HAPPENED to mention in THEIR question A SINGLE KEYWORD I've included in my question? Like the word "What" or "How" or "img srcset" even though I've ALREADY READ THOSE AND THEY DON'T ANSWER MY QUESTION? That seems to be a bit of a jerk move, doncha think?

(Yes, I know the question showing in the screenshot isn't relevant to my question. I was just being a smart aleck at this point because NONE of the relevant questions I tried would unblock me.)

I guess all questions ever asked or that will ever be asked are already answered on StackOverflow.

So I just bought my new laptop and I'm thinking "Forget about Arch. I don't have time to waste now. Let's just install Debian and save time for important tasks I have. Why should I redo everything that is done, while I have enough undone jobs already."

2 days later, at last I managed to install nvidia hybrid drivers and get it to work successfully. Now I just have to find out the cause of the black screen I get when it recovers from suspend.

Just had my year 1 review.
They love what I've done so far, exceeded every expectation. But the salary will be looked at 6 months from now. It's already awful enough at work.

About time to look for something new in case they take the piss out of me in 6 months.

FUCK YOU ACCESS!!! FUCK YOU MICROSOFT!!! FUCK YOU DB PROF FOR FORCING IS TO USE THIS FUCKING PEACE OF CRAPWARE!!!
In the time I spent cursing at Microsofts bullshit I could have done the task twice in MySQL and would already have a nice looking fucking UI for this shit. FUCKING HELL.

Step 1. Read posts about ads on devRant
Step 2. Become a supporter if you aren't already
Step 3. Go celebrate, you've done something good today

I am in a ranting mood today.

I HATE "day in the life of a SWE" videos. Especially the ones where they work from home.

They basically show that they sleep/eat all day and get very little done. I know it's for entertainment or comedic effect but it makes me uneasy about the image that they are projecting to the world.

People already don't think we deserve the salary that we make and when they see these videos the idea gets re-enforced into their heads.

I've been working from home for 3 years and my day is NOTHING like what these content creators show in their videos. It's a bunch of meetings and a lot of coding with very little rest.

The biggest flaw of devRant is down voting is not as simple as up voting. I need to specify the reason for down vote. And those reasons include repost and offensive. This is redundant as there is already an option to report once you open the post. Either make done voting an one click affair or make up voting two click process. There should be uniformity.

Me: The dev agency didn’t follow best practices. They only implemented front end validation on the form. The form submits to a public endpoint, so bots don’t have to go through our site to submit the form. That’s why our database is still filled with $1 donation transactions. I honestly recommend telling this to the dev agency and request that you not be charged for the extra work needed to do this right.

Manager: They charge $95/hr and they’re billing for 8 hours already.

[Aside: The agency’s task was to implement a $10 minimum on the form, do some text changes, and deploy.]

Me: I would expect work to be done according to accepted best practices. It’s really a half done job.

Manager: But they were very helpful when we had that payment processing emergency. They stayed late to help us. We shouldn’t push this in case we need their help again. Can you do the backend validation? [We are in US and agency is in Lithuania.]

Me: 🤬😩😑🤐[To myself: This wouldn’t have happened if the fundraising team hadn’t panicked and would only wait until I came back from my one day of PTO.]

so my job at this startup is more of a general manager over all departments, checking in making sure everything is going smooth (basically COO), but we just did a super private beta launch today as our devs went to sleep, i spent most of my night tonight bug fixing and doing some style fixes and man did it feel good to be back and doing that (especially since most of the heavy lifting has already been done 😂)

More like a colleague more than a client, but it doesn't really matter.. They're the same shit,aren't they?

Dude, when you ask for something on Sunday, and spend the day plus Monday and Tuesday not returning my calls or emails... You can go fuck yourself with a huge unicorn's dick. I already moved on to more important shit to do and now you're going to wait until I'm fucking done.

Fucking assholes.

Hello !

I'm a fresh school dropout (against my will) without any diploma. I've learned programming from self teaching since three years; mostly doing web and apps development with golang, and c#.

I've already done some small projects, helped a lot of people with code, do some freelance and I'm now trying to build a SAAS.

I don't know what I'm supposed to do now, I'm completely lost for my future. What would you do if you were in this situation ?

I have already done like 3 internships of 6 months now. And all the companies sucked!

Now the current company I work at is at least not a marketing company filled with cocaïne sniffing callcenter junkies. But why do they always lie so much. They promised free food and drinks and code reviews. What I get is a computer with an i5 and a fucking Jira account.

This is fucking annoying me, im hungry, thirsty and somebody should really check the code im about to push because it cant be good!!!

JavaScript templating libraries are such a joke.

Either they:

- Totally change the syntax of HTML (Which? would make them? Not a templating engine? But their own shitty markup language?)
- Are already deprecated (And the new version isn't done yet!)
- Both

When you already have a huge deadline that's barely doable, and then your boss shows up with yet another task he forgot to ask you to do!

And of course this has to be done right this afternoon... 😵

Someone stole my CC number and paid a bunch of spam ads on FB with it tonight. When I woke up and blocked it, there's been already 400€ worth of transactions done with it :(

But the real rant is that it took 3 fucking hours before I managed to get in contact with someone at FB who could actually help me. Fuck those AI chat bots & "Tenk yu kom agan" support guys!

Guess what guys, I'm installing Ubuntu over Arch, because I need change and I just don't give a shit about distro elitism. Like many others, I got my start on Ubuntu (was probably Hardy Heron), and then I have done some hoppin' ever since. I never wanted to go back to plain Ubuntu because you know.., but fuck that, its perfect for what I need on my shitty laptop which I do nothing more than watch shitty livestreams on.

I also need something which looks vaguely caught up to 2019 GUI standards while expending max 13 kcal in the process (already spent a fair share with KDE). The 13 is for deleting the Amazon shortcut.

PM wrote a really high-level requirement doc and asked me about estimates.

Me: Well, functionality-wise it will take 4-5 days provided the design is ready.

PM: Our designers are really full on schedule; Just do it! Expand your creativity. I believe in your taste of UX

Me: Listen, the implemented design will take much more time to change if we go back and forth. It's better to revise on the designer's screen.

PM: Oh don't be so modest! I trust you already. Just focus on the functionality, get it done first. For the design we'll talk about it later. Move fast and break things!

Me: ..Sigh. This is gonna end up badly.

The only thing I studied from HTML is that you have to close anything you have opened.../>
I already had some experience with C++ and suddenly they suggested me to take a mentoring.
My mentor - Well, we're going to learn HTML.
- I'm busy. I'm learning python...

- What have you done? Did you learn the HTML?
- Eeh I need to do a neutral network project for the uni. Wait please...

- It's time to learn HTML.
- Eeh I have a deadline in these days. I have to make an Ethereum smart contract. Wait please...

- HTML!
- WAIT!

Finally I asked my mentor to stop this fucking recursion. I'm not going to learn it.

Today's my birthday... As usual, I worked in my office... At morning (approx 11:30AM) I received a call from my boss yelling cause a shit deadline and for some shit that I didn't sent to him (I already sent, the bastad was in vacation and didn't saw it)... His wife wished me happy birthday but the mother fucker didn't say a shit instead yelling during all day... Our relationship sucks cause he's a fucking bastard that doesn't know a shit of development process and I am done of his stupid shit... I fucking need to change my job!!!!

Well, this'll sound like my first rant but my boss did it again. working on implementing a new feature. but I got sick last week and took some time to recoup. well come into the office todat, tell him I'm going to finish it. he says okay. 3pm comes around and I go and ask him for some help on finishing it. he says "check out the repository, I already did it."

okay. I'm sick. you want it done. fine. that's cool. but you made me waste literally my entire workday doing something you knew was already completed? WTF?

So.. I have raised a PR 2 weeks ago.. it needs approval from 2 of the senior Devs on my team. The first one reviewed it within 3 days, without having to follow up. Then comes the second one, who is senior than the first one. I have been following up with him on a daily basis for the past 1.5 weeks, each time I request him to review my PR he sends me a "sorry" followed by a stupid smiley. I have tried tagging him on Jira, setting up a meeting with him to get it done, nothing's working out. He has already looked at the code and I have explained him the code and the context, but he is just not adding comments/approving/rejecting the PR. I have missed the release date for the feature because of his lack of concern and petty excuses. So done with him.

haven't we done this one already

we just created a new web dev team (3 months) and boss came to us, looked what frontend guy has done already (one guy who joined us month ago) and said "this is not how i imagined our platform. It should be working next month". Well how about providing anything to let us know what do you want? Well Im fighting now to get some brief at least ;)

Just love it when the client discloses their requirements in phases. M sitting here with the complete stack waiting for him to come online and fuck me a little more as he discloses the next phase. Client's done this 3 times already. Fuck that asshole.

I *cannot* be the first person in history that wants to do this.

Someone much smarter than must have already done, packaged it and sold distribution rights to the T-shirt.

Time to Google the sh*t out of it...

Have a palindrome day @Stuxnet
I ran out of rants to ++, apparently I've already done that before 😂

Me: ill use media queries to make our site responsive (site is not responsive before i got here)
Me: code ...
Me: code ...
Me: done, created a PR
Senior: review... removes all the code and media queries and said. We dont have to use media queries because bootstrap is already responsive.

- BULLSHIT! We still need media queries!!!!!

> develops a long form with reactive input boxes that shows wether the data inserted follows the correct format
> client goes "ok now make it a WhatsApp chat"
> "A WhatsApp chat?"
> "Yeah like you ask the questions of the form with the chat and the customer needs to answer through WhatsApp messages, just copy and paste everything you've already done in the browser"

I swear to god, some people have no fucking clue how development works

We're getting done with SidTheITGuy's bachelor party where we auctioned him off.

Before it was through, the lucky winner who snagged him at the bachelor-auction had already sold him to another, gotham's most mysterious tech heiress, looking to do a mezzanine funding round on her relationship status:

Meet, Ms. Planky Le Planche, the new fiance of SidTheITGuy:

I was asked to add full page takeover announcements to a website, even though there's a perfectly reasonable announcement system already in place.
I objected on religious grounds - doing that would undoubtedly get me sent to developer hell (also knows as COBOL).
But the client wasn't convinced so I made them a demo. I immediately got a message back saying "wow, that's a lot more annoying than I thought, please remove it".
Of course all of this was done in a separate branch, so this blasphemous code would never be in my master commit history.

As I am now in a leading position in the middle of a agile transition:

has anyone got a source for a project done completely with user stories?

I am searching a real life example with already finished stories an active backlog and a documentation.

I just can't wrap my head around it. When and what do you document? In which Form do you document? How are you writing user stories with more content like diagrams and such?

(we use jira and confluence but just started with stories)

I read some articles on the topic and watched some talks but sill don't get the picture.

What is debugging an application?

Sticking in it for hours, for fixing the error. Finally when it is done, you find it is already there in SO :/.

#myFirstHackathonExperience

So, you took the opportunity when I went to the bathroom mid meeting cause of an emergency to say the code would be ready by tonight, even though you have not done 10% of what you need to do?

Good fucking luck with that. I already asked for the rest of the day off soooo
Let's see what you've got cunt.

When you have a great idea for an app, then find out that someone already done it and with the same name.
My idea is way better than the existing one though... I just need to think of another name.

Already done.
1 unlimited money
2 magic bug fixer elf
3 realized there were no point for me to do anything any more so wish to undo the first two.

Have a big legacy project which should be updated to current technologies,

but when it's done, these current technologies are outdated already, so you

Have a big legacy project which should be updated to current technologies,

When your PM is whining like a baby about resource issues surrounding developing new features when he/she already agreed one of the teams top priorities was getting "run the business" work done.

What are the things in computer science do I need to learn?

So yeah, I'm still in high school and will be entering IT in a few years, but I am willing to learn now. I already have a good grasp of programming and can create good desktop apps and basic web apps, so teaching basic concepts such as variables, loops, functions is done for me.. But what computer science concepts should I learn next?

When your favorite DJ comes to town but you cannot enjoy him playing live just because you don't have a girl to go with it.

I am done for 2016 already. This is so depressing. Guy J in town.

I know "windows 10 bad" rants already have been done enough and are kinda redundant at this point.

But it's so frustrating for me when doing event stuff.

like yesterday during a quieter part I wanted to pull a USB thing. I knew I've turned of system sounds at least two times one this machine last year and sureley it didn't turn them on again, that'd be silly ...
"de dung"
shit!

And today I did some stuff and realized somehow the energy settings are at "balanced".
In the past I had went through every neccessary box to go Full Power, checked every neccessary box, but nOOooOo - lets randomly be balanced again. WTF?

And it's not like shit didn' work already - I remember the times when bluetooth actually was intuitive to use and settings didn't randomly change - is that what they think " progress" means?

Just wasted nearly a day because I got work assigned that has alreay been done half a year ago and nobody knew it.

It's really hard to find a feature to remove, that's already been removed and the truth is only to be found deep within the version control.

FML

It's been like this for 5 days already, across all devices, well done ovh.

Got 8 tickets today and 7 of them we already done in production. Are all PMs lazy or am I just lucky??

What the f*** is this gradle in Android Studio??
M getting tired with this error. Whenever m starting studio it stuck on waiting for build to finish project.. I already done with checking offline work still it's not working.. What the f*** should I do with this error??

I opened my laptop every day this holiday, always with the intention of learning something, contributing somewhere, doing something. I think the closest I got was to start a VM and open my editor and read some comments (I opened and closed some files too!).

I have done nothing the holiday except bing Netflix and put another 100 or so hours on Steam. Oh and Christmas dinner sandwiches, which as I right this reminds me the oh thing was worth it just for those...

Long and short of it is I think I'm in a slump, my output over the last couple months started dwindling and I thought a couple of weeks (16 days to be more accurate) would help, but it didn't. I'm back at work tomorrow and I'm just not feeling it.

I don't think there is anyone answer but has anyone got any experience of getting out of this feeling of "being done"? I already tried watching Rocky... Just made me see Dulph Lundgren every time my screen wakes up! Wallpaper of the dude probably doesn't help...

I am 2 months in this job and I already hate it.
I love programming and building stuff and also the business side of things, even some meetings are ok if done efficiently.
This time its the coworkers. Nobody goes with the management decision to migrate the app. People intentionally deny help or at best dont care. Nothing is going forward.
I am a Junior but I am not just a warm body in the room. Still they really try to make me feel like I have to kiss some boots because of it. I really fucking hate this „family“ they call themselves.

How do you do? And how do you deal with a place you hate?

At my internship we as interns had to work on a CRM system. We used the google api since the company is using google accounts already. Before the project is done my internship is over but I could start my traineeship 4 weeks later.

Together with another old intern/now trainee I spent 4 hours on debugging the login system the first day we came back. Turns out somebody thought we didnt need the application keys anymore and thus deleted the application from the google developer console....

When I saw a blog post said you need more than 1 cup of coffee to get AWS configuration done, I didn't believe it. Now I know... it's true. very true. It takes forever to make use of your config. By the time it's done, you already switch to something else.

Since my ISP doesn't allow port forwards on that port, does anyone want to open their port 445 (if not otherwise occupied by Microsoft-DS) and have netcat reply an empty string or so any request (such as an empty string) sent over TCP (or has anyone already done so)? It would help me out a lot with testing out some networks full port range (since portquiz.net's hoster blocks that port) and would take close to no bandwidth for you.

got first assignment on my first meet on Network Security. it require to pentest one unsecured specified website. yet they don't tell me shit about anything just try it.
i need to :
1. Footprint
2. Scanning
3. Enumeration
4. Gaining Access (previledges raising?) (bonus)

suppose : <target-website> is x
i've done this:
1. whois x
2. got the ipaddress via :
host x
3. nmap -F ip.of.x

my head is already spinning, i need to know what BASICLY each of what i've done. i only get that 'whois' get the information about that domain, 'host' is used to know the target ip address and nmap to find what are the open ports. i don't know what else should i do. need help :(

I have homework for tomorrow, so when i get home i say to myself "right, let's get this homework bs over with". What really happens is i sit down at my pc, power on my VM and keep on tweaking and improving my simple python browser. A few hours later it's already 9PM and i havn't started with my homework. So, it's now 10:30PM and I'm writing a pressentation about traveling and browsing devRant at the same time.
Not getting a lot done. I guess homework isn't my thing....

I might not be the only one who writes a complex ass code to do some task and when it's done I feel like a spartan and then I find out that a library was already there for it. Me 0 Internet 1

Day 7 of devWholesome...

Happy November guys! It's a new month which means new goals! Set some goals for this month that you want to get done. See how much you get done this month. Mark your calendars for deadlines of things you want to get finished. Don't forget to keep up with the work you already have. Comment below what your goals are this month! And as always make the most of your day!

Hey this is my first post on This new fitness-tracker-app community

I will tell y'all my workout :)

-programming a parser

FUCKING HELL PLEASE STOP ALREADY THIS IS THE WORST SHIT IVE EVER DONE EVERY WHERE IF STATEMENTS JUST TO CONSUME FOUR FUCKING TOKENS I DONT WANT TO DIE BUT I'D LIKE THIS PROJECT TO BE FINISHED ALREADY BECAUSE THIS IS ANNOYING AS FUCK I REALLY WANT TO KICK MY COMPUTER WHILE TELLING IT TO BE THE MOST STUPID BRAIN ON THE WORD AND THEN REMEMBERING THAT ITS NOT A BRAIN FUCK MY FUCKING FUCK HELL THEN I WOULD KILL THE PEOPLE WHO THOUGHT THAT MAKEING std::vector::end() RETURN AN ITERATOR WITHOUT ELEMENT WAS FINE AND THEN I'D KILL ALL THOSE WHO COME INTO MY ROOM THUS DISTURBING MY WORKFLOW

Enough rage.

I feel like shit for arguing against my boss who tried to force me into overtime without pay…

I get that I did it for my own good, but I still feel annoyed af for having to do it in the first point. I hate arguing about stuff but this needed to be done, asking to work for free after your employee already gave you an extra hour for free is just… being greedy assholes.

And yet I feel discomfort. I hate so much this situation.

I really hate it when people ignore the messages I sent on slack

I don't mention you or the damn @channel for show

There is some shit that needs to get done, and I even hate it more when they ask me for something I already said on slack

Whaaaaat, you can't read now

I started as Android Developer at a comapny today and was given a project with 30% already done but without any comments.

Can you guys suggest some forums or sites like stackoverflow that will help me.

Thanks

Kids these days and their ultrasonic scalpels. Back in _my_ day, we were doing sugreries with _real_ scalpels made of bare metal. Who cares that ultrasonic ones are way less invasive and it heals faster! If you’re using an ultrasonic scalpel, you’re not even a real surgeon. What’s next? Computer does a surgery for you while you wiggling around the controllers? WHAT DO YOU MEAN ITS ALREADY BEING DONE!? What happened to this country!

I joined a project that has been in development for four years. After a couple of weeks of getting used to what has already been done I saw some strange coding.
One thing that struck me in particular was how often I saw pointers to pointers of objects being passed as arguments without any obvious reasons.
Only after I got to write a new functionality myself did I see why that was done.. as I needed to do it too. I had to allocate the memory for an object that was given as the parameter.
C is a hell of a language.. just as I thought I was good at it things like this happen.

I'm super pissed off... I recently got this job, I've been here for three months but in the current project for a month and a half... in this time I learned Laravel and the project is no big deal, I'm more than happy to learn but I'm working with a "Senior" programmer who "has a lot of experience" and "knows a lot" and "very friendly"... the thing is that we use Jira and BitBucket to assign work and control versions, however, the motherfucker doesn't do a shit and when I ask him about something, he totally ignores me... I checked on the latest merges and tickets and I've done like 50 within this month and a half and he has done like 15... He also made me do a big ass thing with a PDF and at the end he completely destroyed it and just used a table with no styles that looks like shit. He took 40 minutes to tell me something he already knew about the models because "I'm sorry, I got distracted"... What should I do?

So we got back the test results and there is still some work todo on the project that should already been done.

We know we have planned you in for this other project but since we have to deliver them both, can you work on two project at the same time and finish those 20 storypoints in 2 hours?

Faaaaak offfffff

Ok so I keep obsessing over RE2 because the game is just so fucking cool. But one thing that I want to make notice for us computer nerds:

In the police station, when you see the computers there that are on, you see a very 90's interface, and of course you will, the game takes place in 1998.

When you are at the Umbrella NEST facility, there are computers there, the interface looks TODAY modern. Meaning that(and I know we all fans of the games knew this already) Umbrella's tech is far beyond what common civilian entities have. I know this is done intentionally and I know people are aware of it, but I just think that it is a really really REALLY cool element to the story to have something like this.

On another note, I want to get excited about Kingdom Hearts 3. But fuck this it has been so long and I had already forgotten everything about 1 and 2 and I am not really a fan of the series anymore. A friend is coming over to play it, I just wish I was more hyped for it.

Client's Devs Yesterday: "We are ready for a production test, and should be ready to go live in 1 week."

Today after successful test: "We need 6 weeks of production before going live"

How can you be so far off on your timelines? A solo dev has done this same flow in like three weeks. It has already been three months...

I'm not even done with this code and I am already dreading maintaining it. There is so much magic.

so I'm a level developer and I haven't really worked with WordPress that much however I am experienced in HTML CSS PHP JavaScript xcetera and I'm looking to get into WordPress cuz I don't really want to make a cms through laravel Paloma tutorials I found on making more precise of way to beginner and don't really explain a lot. What I don't understand is how the pages work. I'm using a basic bootstrap theme. However I am unaware how to just make a basic home page using HTML it looks like it's using posts and stuff. so my question is is there a tutorial online either video or written meant for people who have already done web development and want to move over to wordpress.

Hey, here's an idea. Ethical cryptocurrency mining Adblock.

We've been talking a lot about mining as a revenue source and its ethics here, so that gave me an idea.

I've seen a lot of talk about blocking or boycotting mining websites.
Adblock has the "ethical ads" thing to allow reasonable ads to be displayed.

What if we made the mining equivalent of that: an extension that the user allows to mine with x resources, that prevents websites from doing their own mining, but which redistributes its mining results.

The website could just add a bit of script to tell the extension who they are, and while the page is on the foreground or streaming content, the extension would mine on their behalf.

This could also allow more transparency for the user: "your computer has generated x money for website y".

Wouldn't that be a nice middle ground? Does anyone know of a project like that?

The lack of community support for NGINX is horrible (though it is getting better).

I was an NGINX disciple from the beginning; I switched over from Apache as soon as I found it and used it everywhere. The issue with that is that most services only provided Apache configuration files, forcing me to do my own research and translate them.

Thankfully the NGINX community has done a lot of work already; I was able to find a lot of the configurations I needed online, but I also spent a lot of time learning how to use it. Now, if you give me a few hours, I have the knowledge and resources to make it do whatever you need it to do (within reason, of course).

Flask people
so I was given this old flask project, around 3k lines written in py2, the code is simply old and not refactored. So, it's pile of shit. Migrations completely botched as the original author created reference to live data in models.
Very strict line formatting resulting in backslashed ternary conditions.
Even saw manually formatted json responses... _line by line_.

My job is to clean this mess and eventually do as much as possible to freshen the whole project.
Currently just refucktoring the code as it's the only easy thing to do out of everything that could be done (it's still slow process).

Any tricks and tips? currently considering to try upgrading it to py3 but it feels like throwing gunpowder into already burning house.

So our Chief Test Engineer left the company because of overwhelming frustration and stress. We working on new stuffs so we test our partly done product with partly done test tool developed be another of our team. His successor started to drop most of the 3rd party tools and workflows and documentations to trash expect this one unfinished test software.
Now he wants that we add more features to this software so it can replace everything he trashed already: run tests, generate test reports, generate documentations and so on.
On top of that he organized a workshop to read all this software's source code together, understand how it's works so we can rewrite the whole software from scratch.
WHAT?!

The worst project you had to work on? Or the worst client? I don't know if it has already been done :x

WTF!!!! I come back from a 1 week vacation and nothing has been done and some things seem to have gone to shit...

I transferred the responsibility of running and supporting a report thats supposed to go live to someone else. I show up today and check and well none of the reports for the last 2 weeks were run (first report was already late).

I sent out a few emails asking for feedback on a new JSON log I wanted to add so it can be used by ELK. The people I was asking (a senior dev on a sister team that shares ownership) never replied like he said he would.

IPhone speech to text has come a long way. Definitely has improved. Real-time dictation rather than batching it.

I am currently doing approximately 50 percent of my rants by voice. In fact the rank you are reading I did by voice.

You can easily do punctuation such as a period, new paragraph, new line, caps and lower case. The speech recognition is excellent even with my New York accent and it learns the more you use it. Rarely does it get a word wrong.

Editing still has to be done manually and is a pain but that may change as dragon already allows you to do in-line editing. iOS speech to text has already surpassed dragon in some facets.

I do have to press the add new and post buttons at this Time to post my rants. But that may change as the enhanced dictation on the map allows you access to specific commands.

I will keep you informed of progress and I will be testing on android over the next few days as well.

I've done it! I've implemented a new feature. I call it, wheal. its just like the wheel you know and love, in every way, shape, and form. But now, you can take comfort in knowing the state of the art has surely progressed, every time you go to reference, "wheal". This has the added benefit that others who may already be familiar with wheels, will have no trouble at all coming to terms with wheals. Just please, do not make reference to wheels, or your software will not compile. And also be sure to annotate all instances of wheals *wheals are just like wheels!* until all devs have been on-boarded.

Although it’s not really a project I will be done with my apprenticeship in july this year and I already have a nice job offer... this feels like a success

I was hired in a company for the title of Front-end Developer. I am qualified as because I have skills and experience with regards to doing front-end stuff. But it turns out that the work will be Full Stack. The employer was reasoning out that after your done with front-end task, I must do backend stuff as well so I would not be idle on may day's shift.

Is it my fault if I already done with my respective task and just mingle with random task of backend stuff that is not my real skills or forte?

I can understand and know PHP & MySQL, but I am not guaranteed to finish the task quickly compared to my backend counterpart in doing their task.

To cut the story short, they terminated my contract and claim that I am not performing well with my duties and responsibility, though most of the Front-end stuff I was assigned were already done and deployed.

There's no justice in this typical world of start-ups and noobie HR people that always one sided and they always say that it's their policy and they cannot do anything with regards to the incident happened to me.

When a client facing consultant asks when your project will be finished by like you should have had it done already when it's complex as hell