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After 1,5 months of customer support as a Linux support engineer, I can honestly say:
Fuck wordpress.26 -
Boss - so how long will this transport booking app take, native android and iOS ....plus backend, plus localization, plus live location tracking, blah blah.
Me - at least 4 months, or more
Boss - HOW can an app take MONTHS? That is totally unacceptable, it’s not gonna work this way, blah blah. I’m giving u 2 months, tops. No project should take more than 2 months.
—
Next app,
Boss - so this new e-commerce app needs to be made, u have api. How long?
Me - 2 months coz ——-
Boss - WHATTTTT!!!??? 2 months for an APP!!???? What is this? Not gonna work this way, you should make apps in a week. Other people make apps in a week.
Then fucking hire those other people. Lol.8 -
Just figured out that a server configuration I made about 3 months ago resulted in one of our main sites being offline.
No one fucking noticed it.
For 3 fucking months.
Amen.6 -
Business: How long will it take to add that feature to the legacy system?
Programmer: When will the new system be implemented?
Business: 6 months
Programmer: The new feature will take 7 months3 -
Code isn't just something that you can just learn in three months. Stop the clickbait articles plz.
6 -
Let's make something in angular sounds like a great idea.
6 months later
Let's port everything from angular to react as angular 2 is a complete rewrite.
Another 6 months later.
I think i like the simplicity of vuejs.
Lets try that now. 😂😂😂1 -
Had a plan to master JavaScript in 4 months and then, cover HTML and CSS in the next 3 months followed by Java in the remaining 5 months.
10 years later, I am still learning JavaScript.9 -
Arduino, all the way...
I have a burn out for 3 years and a few months ago I found arduino.
Burned lots of money in components in the first months because I got so addicted.
No regrets, helped me a lot, been learning a lot and keeps me focused.
5 -
Boss told me he couldn't raise my salary, since according to him, I was already overpaid. Months later they suddenly outsource some positions, including mine. I got 6 months with payment as a parachute. But I also got a new job that pays $15 000 more each year...!
It's nice to have double salary for 6 months...
:)9 -
Been away from devrant for almost 8 months, and all these months the app was sitting idle on my phone.
Now, since I am part of industry and have a terrible boss, I am back to throw some anger1 -
1. Pre-sales to Client: We can develop 200 APIs with 10 developers in 9 months.
2. Client: Ok! Cool, its a deal.
-- Sprint starts --
3. Actual: We are 6 developers, commited (or sold out) to make 200 APIs in 9 months.
Fucking pre-sales.3 -
Today a recruiter answered an e-mail I sent 6 months ago when I was looking for a job. Should I answer back in 6 months saying I'm not interested?8
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After months of studying dynamic programming, I can finally say with confidence that I UNDERSTAND NOTHING.7
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x comes out.
Team: hey let's rewrite our project using x!
4 months later..
y comes out.
Team: x is so crappy, let's rewrite our project using y!
3 months later...
z comes out...
Team: why did we ever use y, let's rewrite our project using z!
.
.
.5 -
Abandoned Facebook few months ago.
Abandoned Instagram yesterday.
What else left to abandon?
Reddit? Devrant?18 -
When your app's changelog says 'Bugfixes' for two months continuously, you are definitely doing something wrong :P2
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Declined a job offer with a startup, partly because of imposter syndrome. Applied for position as programmer, showed up for interview and got cold feet when it turned out they actually wanted/needed a senior programmer/chief technology officer and offered me the position after having asked me no technical questions, seen none of my code or previous projects.
Still, it was a job that paid money... And I'm still jobless two months later :(7 -
My favorite thing on my desk would be my laptop.
If only it hadn't DIED three months ago after being impossibly slow for three months before that.
RIP you useless machine, RI bloody P ._.
11 -
*uses java and c# for a few months without touching GML or my custom script language*
*Jumps back in after said few months*
Oh god I miss OOP, please give it back!7 -
!Rant
My boss just gave me a task "deploy this project today".
1. Made by a junior dev, and I have to take responsibility to upload it in this short time (no blame to jun dev, she's new and need to practice)
2. In a crm that I personally never used before, I need to study it and adapt at least the paths
3. Task was given at 13.48 during lunch pause.
But
But
The best is yet to come
Wait
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Ready?
4. He doesn't know the server where to deploy it!
No one knows.
The IT doesn't answer, but still, I have to deploy a project TODAY (2h and 47 minutes left eob).3 -
Actually I had to take over a project in my company which had a 4 months schedule. And at the time I became the PL it had an expected delay of two months, and two months were spent already! But the thing was: The customer expects results in two months.
Somehow I managed to steer the project into the other direction and we delivered within the expected timeframe with the expected feautures. And everything worked as expected.
Thanks to a wonderful team of 8 people who made this possible for me at that time! -
900 lines to build an HTML select list which displayed the months from January until the current month, for picking which months data to display seems a tad excessive... probably good the guy who did it doesn't work anymore.4
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I was contracted for an app (side gig) and told I would have a team working with me. It’s been 5 months and no one else has been hired... At this point, it would probably take 5 more months to explain my shitty code to a new guy.
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Thank you, GIT. Thank you. Your reflog saved work of months after someone deleted the wrong branch.1
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Simulating a couple million elastic search searches and aggregations in 2h instead of 3 months ... :)3
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Two months of meaningless meetings and calls to assess "requirements" and three months worth of actual development work crammed into 3 weeks. Fuck this corporate bs. Agile my ass.
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FUCK YOU NBN.
It's taken this shit company 6 "Specialist" technicians and almost 2 months to identify that the connector from the mainline to the multiport is not aligning. Now I have a planned remediation date of the 15th October.
Possible 6 months without internet. FML18 -
So 4 months back I agreed to build a website for one of my relatives. In the beginning while discussing about the site they told me that will make the contents and photos that will go to the respective pages. I kept on reminding them about the contents and now four months have passed and I still have no contents and photos. Now they are pressuring me to complete the website soon. Don't they understand that I'm waiting for the f****** contents?! 😠 I kept on reminding them for four f****** months! And they think that I AM the one who is slow! .. FOUR f****** months for one website!8
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My bi-annual ritual:
1. Get home after 5 months
2. By cheap ear/head-phones
3. Use them for the next 5 months till they wear out
4. Repeat
😂😂
Also watches. But I gave up on those back in school.😛1 -
After 18 months of failures and frustration I finally got a driving license... damn it feels good :)3
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Stopped coding for 5 months.
For 5 months I didn't forget my name, my age, how to sleep and the fact I live every second.
Fortunately, now I code again. -
I've always heard about the "if one woman can deliver a baby in 9 months, 9 can do it in a month" situation people got in. But my bos just quoted that to me since we are stuck on deadlines.2
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git commit -am 'needs refactor'
// months go by
git commit -am 'hotfix, also needs refactor'
// ... repeat -
So I was on a .NET project for a couple of months, then went to a Angular 6 project, now I'm starting on a PHP project.
I'm just loving these past few months. -
after six months debugging unstructured, freeform python code from my colleagues, i found java strictness paradisal7
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computer: "save this image as yv958gpyig071.jpeg?"
me: "yes”
five months later: wtf is yv958gpyig071.jpeg?3 -
a first time project owner sets up weekly requirements meetings for a new project. everyone has input, but the project owner. 4 months into building the application to the requirements gathered, the project owner says, that's not at all what I want. 4 months wasted3
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It took me eleven months of working from home to investigate renting a coworking space. Eleven wasted months! The coworking office is TOTALLY worth every USD.9
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How the fuck 4 months of design(2 designers) can be developed with 2 months of development work. (1 developer)
BRILLIANT PROJECT MANAGEMENT IDEA6 -
When they ask you what you want to do for the next three months.
You give them an answer then poof.
Those are the list of your dream work.1 -
15h/day for at least one month.
Manager to someone: How long do you think it will take you to build this?
Someone: Erm... 6 months.
Manager: Fine, I'm pretty sure you can do it in 3 months.
I was invited/forced to join someone's team because he could not do it in 3 months. Neither did we, but we managed to deliver the project in 4 months.
The dickhead manager got a promotion, money prizes etc for burning us out. I can't stand this kind of managers.
Neither I or someone work for that guy anymore.
If a Dev tells you it would deliver something in X believe him, he's telling you the best he can.1 -
I worked(as intern) 6 months on a startup and helped them sell a cool e-commerce chatbot, then I again worked(as intern) 4 months on another startup and helped them sell nice AR app. And again another recruiter comes in my chatbox and asks me whether I am available for internship. I am also doing another internship from 1 months. What the hell is wrong with my career?4
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So I have been tripoing about an idea and now is the time to start on it. I have 9 months to get money, to be able to fund myself to avoid external pressure that could scew the product.
Any ideas on raising 100,000$ in 9 months?8 -
After requirement are all agreed.
Client: How long will this development takes?
Me: About a month.
Client: (Pause for a while) The previous developer took 6 months and the system was unusable with a lot of bugs.
Me: ... (I should have ask for 3 months at least)2 -
Trying to un-fuck a botched rebase of a months worth of work. It took me a couple days, but it forced me to learn a lot about git's best practises and gotchas. It also taught me not to keep a months worth of work on a single branch!4
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Feels good to be back! XD In the last few months I took peoples advice and ditched windows went for Kbuntu and 4 months down the line I'm never going back to windows :D
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"The call to the tracking was removed by the previous developer months ago" the eccom manager thought......
4 -
Serving 3 months notice period. But the notice starts from the end of the month your submit your resignation letter to HR. I submitted on 3rd of current month. So technically I have to serve 4 months in total.2
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TFW idiots use FFmpeg without looking at the license, and then spend two months compiling it themselves.
2 -
My masters final project and had only one girl in my group who could do front end. 3 months to do it and after 2 months we don't even have a landing page. Had to make a okayish looking design with another teammate.
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Just signed my training contract 🎉Quitting university to become a programmer within 18 Months apprenticeship2
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Client: How many days do you need for this project
Me: 6 months
Client: That's too much. I researched and found that it shouldn't consume more than 3 months
Me: I'm sure you didn't researched on gradle building process (-_-) -
Sooo after returning from my 3 weeks of vacation (student part-timer so no real obligations) I learned that the last two months of work refactoring our legacy app to conform to modern Android app standards, is being shut down because we begin to rewrite everything for cross platform...
Not sure how I feel about it, because I really liked Android development and I poured my heart in it... On the bright side: I'll get to learn more Javascript, HTML, css and polymer stuff which I guess is good.
It still stings a little 😥5 -
I'm so happy it only took 2 months to fully dominate this outdated-in-few-months-js-library-or-framework.js1
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So 9 months back I wrote a script that asked for company's symbol to fetch data from a site, just one symbol a time. There were around 300-350 symbols, I tried storing symbols in a text file and supplying input from it, it did not work then so I decided to leave it as it is. Today when I took closer look at the code I wrote, I found that the symbols were being fed to the script, however, the "\n" was included too, so my script was failing to get data in bluk. Modified it today, it's all good. Its kinda crazy, 9 months and only thing stopping my script to work was a freakin "\n".
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!rant
We got an assignment to build our own website (with HTML, CSS and JS) a few months ago. Now guess who's been procrastinating for around 3 months and has to do it in one day now.
Does anyone have tips on how to avoid procrastination?6 -
So last year I started a project, and gave up after 8 months (was an unemployed student, and made my todo list wayyy too long)
Turns out, over those 8 months I wrote over 13.5k lines of coding/ styling, while also spending a couple months revising for, and taking my GCSE exams where I didnt do any programming.
Somehow I was averaging around 2k lines a month and I wish I had that productivity still.3 -
I've been using my laptop for only 6 months ... And suddenly the screen is completely black, but the touch screen still works (super weird). Kinda freaking out after paying more than 1k$ for it and it only worked for 6 months..... 😠2
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Project deadline next 2 months but they didn't try to communicate with devs. Surprise mothaaa ffffff!!!
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Google finally announced the pixel watch .. maybe will disconnect it after a couple of months haha4
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No need 512MB of Ram, I 'll buy it with 256MB ! 8 months later installed 2nd slot of 256MB in 2000. 8 months of suffering!2
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Don't you just love those people who sell projects which require months and months of hard work with a due date of two whole fucking months?! And worst of all, they act all fucking surprised when the project is not finished on time and it contains loads of bugs because of lack of testing time. Drives me insane..
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First six months as a dev broke something in production for the first time.
Took me months to get confidence back.3 -
Dear Dark Side #5
Don't respect updates, save your company:
Create restore points on your colleagues machines.
6 months later, restore those points.
6 months later, restore those points. -
My youtube music app is downloading for months at unbelievable low speed the songs I like. Months! How is this even possible? Spotify downloads a list with 400 songs in no time. On YT music I only have 50 songs or so
11 -
When OpenVSwitch does not support MPLS for months, and turns out you're running the wrong, old version
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Because the company scrape the whole project, I been assigned to do backend laravel. After struggling for months , I been reassigned again help another front end project written in reactJS this time. I don't know who am I anymore and I did not touch android development for months 😢
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I've started to make a tournament managed for the game osu!, but the project has been on hold for the last 9 months and will probably still be on hold for the next 10 months... By then there will be official tournament management tools. I should speedup i guess?
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first day back at work after six months of educational leave. I love and mossed my team but damn, I could already use another six months of sleeping out.
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It's been a few months, and it'll be further few months until I get access to my beloved Linux machine.
However in the recent weeks, a sudden interest for gentoo has sparked my mind.
The Linux machine is running antergos, but I think I'm ready to try gentoo, when I get back in a few months!1 -
I've been programming for 24 years, and my eyesight only began to erode 18 months ago. As luck would have it, exactly 18 months ago I started coding web apps exclusively in my IDE's dark mode, then previewing my work in an all-white browser. Huh.2
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Had a release retro today.
We had the usual Trello board with columns for "what went well, what was bad, what can we improve" etc.
columns for the bad and the improvements had 10-20 cards each.
column for what went well was empty.... -
Finally after 3 fucking months, 15-20 fucking meetings, I got sign off for a feature release. The development took 3 weeks and was completed in March end.
I know being a financial institution and feature was regarding system handling funds, business guys need to worry a bit as any mistake in code can mess up the funds disbursal. But fuckers took 3 months to give sign off.
However, it's finally released and I can relax for now. #peace -
Just discovered my i6600 needed .15v more on the vcore, took 2 months of random untraceable crashes....1
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a few more months...
and the tv won't suck...
just a few more months and 'from', 'loki', 'chapelwaite', 'upload' etc will be relreased to their new seasons...
and i can skip trailers for chipper versions of the scariest kids movie I saw as a child 'willow' -
My uni has made coursera free for 3 months for the students. Are there any good courses or specialization which i can do in 3 months?3
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