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My conversation with my wife today, while I was at work:
Wife: The wifi isn't working.
Me: What's it doing?
W: Not working
Me: Try turning it off an on again.
.
.
.
Me: Is your phone on LTE? Or is it connected to wifi and the internet isn't working?
W: LTE. Aubrey (my wife's sister) said she turned it off and nothing happened.
Me: did she turn it back on?
W: Do you really want me to answer that?
Me: Just making sure. What lights are on on the router?
W: (Sends me a picture of the router with no lights on)
Me:...
W: Oh it isn't even plugged in
Me:...
W (after a couple minutes): Its working now!
YES I REALLY WANT YOU TO ANSWER IF YOU TURNED IT BACK ON!14 -
This is by far the best please turn off your Adblock I have ever seen. I actually paused my ad blocker 😂
33 -
"Turn it off and on again."
Great for Wi-Fi routers and office appliances.
Life support, not so much.9 -
When you accidently open the bios menu on your smart watch when you're just trying to turn it back on 😂
13 -
What my Clients don't know:
I turn my 2nd 27inch screen in portrait orientation before they come in. And turn it back when they leave.
Somehow it impresses them.2 -
!rant
AHHHHHHHH I MADE AN OFFER ON A HOUSE
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THEY ACCEPTED
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH INSPECTION DIDN’T TURN UP ANYTHING HORRIBLE
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH32 -
"Oh haha I found out why your PC isn't turning on, you forgot to turn on the power switch!"
*flick*
25 -
"Programmers are persons that convert caffeine into code". Every time i see this quote, i ask myself: Am i the only one? (non-coffee drinking programmer)30
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Me: Hey Windows, I would love to use my Bluetooth headphones! Could you please turn on the Bluetooth?
Windows: Nope
Me: And why exactly?
Windows: I don’t know
Me: Then what I suppose to do?
Windows: Turn on Bluetooth
Me: Dude, but you can’t turn it on
Windows: I know
Me: So what the hell I suppose to do?
Windows: Maybe restart the computer?
Me: I’m downloading something man!
Windows: I don’t care
So I restarted it7 -
I contantly keep forgetting to turn on my music. It's like:
*open youtube*
"Wait let me just do this thing real quick"
*alt-tab to ide, start coding*
*get in the zone, coding intensifies*
3 hours later...
"Oh yeah let's turn on some music"
Rinse and repeat...7 -
* playing music on MacBook
* turn down volume
* plug in headphones
* volume jumps to max and ears bleed6 -
school takes the creativity out of programming.
you want to try something new?
sorry, can't have that. functionality = priority.
school takes the choice out of programming.
- you're gonna use x language
- with x api
- in x environment
- and make it in x way
- because if you don't, your gonna fail x assignments
- because programming is about getting the job done, with no creativity
yeah fuck you too
school takes the cleverness out of programming
you get a turn left function. it turns a 'turtle' left any amount of degrees that you pass it, you have to make a turn right function to turn right 90 degrees. well, if you thought turning left -90 degrees was a good idea to make a turn right function, then fuck you. you have to turn left three timeswith the default 90 degrees instead because it's more practical/logical.
fuck that.
anyone else hate the movements to get programming into schools?14 -
Old but gold.
How are computers like men?
In order to get it's attention, you have to turn it on.44 -
I'm really close to handing my resignation letter, even if I don't have any other job offers right now.
That might be a good thing tho, as it would be good for me to take some time off and recover from all the toxicity of my current job. Working at this company is starting to take a toll on me, making me more asocial than I usually am. I'm even losing my passion for programming.
So yeah, I think I'll take some time to heal and find inspiration again before deciding what to do next.5 -
When you are the only developer on the job, you turn into a God and a peasant in the same sentence.3
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So apparently I am not a programmer because I turn tea into software. :(
Anyone else feeling discriminated by this definition? :D
11 -
Why did I miss my turn while driving ? I was dreaming about authentication strategies in micro services.2
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Young colleague: help me! My pc won't turn on!
Me.goto(colleague.desk)
Y. Colleague: See? I pushed the button and it didn't turn on!
Me: Have you tried push it a second time?
Y. Colleague:... No....
Me.push(start_button)
Pc turning on..6 -
Just managed to turn on and off three led with my phone on a raspberry and i feel like a fucking god !2
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I feel bad for the stack overflow developers, because when it goes down, who can they turn to for help?4
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How does taking a day off turn into working from home, every single time?
Workaholics anonymous anyone?6 -
JavaScript classes don't need private fields. JavaScript doesn't even need classes.
STOP TRYING TO TURN JAVASCRIPT INTO JAVA.16 -
Now realizing the whole "Fuck this shit, I'm gonna become a barista" was literally a midlife crisis.
Now, how do I find my way back to a brand new PhD application? Or a research job... Or a dev job... Honestly, I'd take whatever.
Side note, after weeks of being on my feet and working 6-8 hours a day, I have lost exactly zero kilos. This was a very bad idea. 🤦
So, I'm not the smartest, but at least now I have had two careers. How many of you can say that you've had two different careers in your life, eh?11 -
I'm so sleepy today and the sun is so strong... Can't see shit, almost can't look at the screen even.
I might be doing some blind merges today.9 -
I fucking hate it when people don't turn off their phone screen when the put their phone down or in their pocket5
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yesterday i shut down my pc (win 10) and left. Got back after ~10 hours - " please don't turn off, windows are updating..."
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Who remembers time when you actually had to press power button in order to turn your computer off?
Seen some YouTube video the other day with kids nowadays told to work on an old computer with I think win95 and no one figured out what the cryptic "You can now turn your computer off" meant :-)2 -
Overhauled my desk today, and here's the new setup! Also, the star lights turn on and off with my laptop.
18 -
Just bought a green foldable bicycle. 😊 Trying to learn how to master biking straight then will learn how to turn.28
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*Boots PC to enjoy overwatch*
I wanted to see what was new with Cortana for some reason
*Asks Cortana what I can say*
One of the options shows an example
"Turn on High Contrast"
*Clicks the mic/listen button*
"Turn on High contrast"
Cortana responds
"Sorry I can't do that yet"
Wow, I just love voice assistants. Thanks Microsoft!6 -
Let's play "Count the operating systems in my household"! I'll start:
- Windows 10 Pro on 1tb drive in desktop
- Windows 10 Enterprise VM on desktop
- Ubuntu 18 VM on desktop
- Ubuntu WSL on desktop
- Ubuntu 18 on seconds drive in desktop
- Manjaro on Cheap laptop
- Manjaro on old, expensive laptop
- Windows 10 Pro on new expensive laptop
- Windows 10 Enterprise VM on new expensive laptop
Just realized I have no dual booters :o17 -
It looks like computer is ready to party already. Suddenly noticed the lights turn themselves on (the remote was In my drawer)
12 -
*clears throat*
Building turn based enemy AI for a strategy game can go fuck itself...
I'm normally able to work out other forms of AI but as soon as I try to work out how to build AI for TBS, I just seem to have my brain exit my body....
I've been at this for fucking hours and have no idea what the fuck I'm doing .-.7 -
This moment when you are laying in your bed trying to turn off the lights and the uncloseable firmware update window forces you to update your lights before be able to turn them off.
5 -
who has used a screw driver to connect the prongs to turn on a computer without a case/power button?7
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To any and all family members, before requesting my help with the printer/computer/electronic device follow these steps to make sure I don't get irritated.
1. Make sure it's plugged in.
2. Turn it off then back on
3. Turn it off, unplug it for around 30s, turn it back on.
4. Request help
Why is this so hard to grasp? I don't want to stop my workflow with an issue that could be resolved in less than a minute!1 -
- I woke up litle bored.
- Turn on SSH session to linux server
chmod -R 000 /*
Me: uuhh... Now I feel more excited!8 -
Yes LinkedIn, the middle of a pandemic is the perfect time to make a career move.
Turn off your marketing campaigns assholes!
5 -
For everyone wishing us happy new year bs here: go fuck yourself, I hope your year will turn worse than the previous12
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Have to turn two important projects in 1.5 hours. Had the time since yesterday.... Do other people procrast like this?4
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Schrodingers cron: when a cronjob does not appear to be running and you turn email on it runs fine. Then you turn email off and doesn't appear to be running anymore...1
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Last night I was gaming online, thought I'd turn on MAC filter on my router. Mistyped my own MAC Address 😥7
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God Apple, why tf does the Fill Screen / Fit Screen button only turn bright / change glyph sometimes ☹️
3 -
I somehow managed to turn on overtype with the insert key.
Welp, guess it's time to get a new laptop. Any recommendations?
5 -
Every day in Support....
Turn your pc off and on please...
Is the cable plugged in....
Is this really your pc... -
When the PO asks for a last second code change right before the sprint review, and now it's your turn to demo
1 -
When you forget to turn off your passwordless personal hotspot on your iPhone and it says it has 1 connection.
1 -
Just the daily android vs iOS bashing with my gf xD I'll never turn to the light side that is iOS.
1 -
My fucking internet went off and was so slow that even ssh resetted me, fucking thanks. And it was the same typical pattern again: turn off, turn on, kbps speed, wait ~30/50 minutes and then again fullspeed, fucking cuntbags stop fucking fingerbanging the ethernet ports - I need to get shit done.
1 -
Creating a project is like hiking in a dark forest. Sometimes you take a wrong turn, then another wrong turn. Before you know it, you're surrounded by bears.
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You know who is pathetic? People who turn off comments after they get negative feedback on something they posted10
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The best thing with a power outage in an apartment complex is watching everybody's wifi turn back on.
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My turn to post my desk setup!
I know it's a mess :D
Also, phone for some reason despises making pictures...
11 -
Interview scheduled : 11.30 am
Reached venue: 11.15 am
Waiting for my turn : 2.30 pm
How much time should I wait: some one who is part of team, give me two minutes let me check
Me still waiting for info/my turn: 3.00pm
Chuck this, left venue: 3.00pm
Why do they schedule interviews if they cant manage or provide proper inputs.😤😤6 -
Why are programmers not allowed in the Intensive Care Unit?
Because they like to turn stuff off and on again1 -
Just let me add a new feature to this Wordpress site, I'll just enable debugging to see if it produces any errors.
TURN IT OFF!! TURN IT OFF!!
All I could see was error upon error upon error. Mostly from old and not updated plugins.
I'll just leave it there till client decides they want a new rebranding and start from scratch1 -
The person who invented battery powered faucets that turn off automatically needs to be strung up by his toes.4
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Me: Hey, can we schedule a weekly meeting at <day, hh:mm>? I can give you an update on my work and we discuss upcoming problems?
Superviser (assigned especially to me): Yeah sure, come over, I'm free at that time.
Said day he comes 1h late, missing the appointment. Talking later that day to schedule another meeting for the upcoming week, he confirms.
Appointed day he's not there again, working from home. This has happend a few times now. They expect me to update our shared calendar or at least write a mail if I'm not available. He doesn't.
Could you fucking not?2 -
How can I turn off “new comments on a rant you posted” notification. I mean in app notification like this;
7 -
When meta-programming finally clicks and your code can make its own code, which in turn makes its own code.1
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I asked my girlfriend to turn on pc. She asked: I turn on the computer are up or the computer that is under?
....ok ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
2 -
Make a very simple website app in a very short time. Done. Now turn this website app into a WordPress like framework. What?
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Made the mistake of restarting my pc at work this morning. Came up with configuring Windows, do not turn off.
30 minutes later, same message showing.
Despite message saying don't turn off, i had had enough and turned it off, think it would be completely broken.
Booted fine, no issues?!?! Thanks Microsoft.2 -
idk how, but any games we play at work turn into the freaking hunger games, everyone is too serious lol3
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I've been told by the client today to turn their application's barebones support messaging into, and quote "WhatsApp".
By Friday.2 -
It's more of a learning project than something I plan to actually use for anything, but after playing a few classic SNES-era RPGs, I started writing a simple turn-based battle system. I haven't worked on it in ages and would love to get back to it, maybe even turn it into a whole game some day.2
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Turn my partner's idea into fruition. I'm trying GameMaker since the concept is a text based 2d game.1
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I posted a few weeks ago about how I started my own mobile app development business. Today, I released its first app. It's a turn by turn navigation app for amusement parks, right now it's only featuring Walt Disney World. If you have an Android the app is called AmuseGO. I'm waiting for apple to approve it.
2 -
It could either turn out really well or most of the day will be wasted on setting up one's development environment
-
public static void turnItUpTo(int val) {
this.setLevel(val);
}
public static void main(String[] args) {
turnItUpTo(11);
System.out.println("Rock out");
} -
My computer froze during Ubuntu update. I had to turn it off, and instalation did not finish, now Ubuntu won't start.. great..4
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Stop scrolling.
Turn your keyboard upside down, and shake it vigorously for a minute.
Now carry on.6 -
Once saw someone turn in a fizz buzz with:
console.log ("fizz buzz");
They didn't get offered the job.1 -
I feel incredibly frustrated. I just got out of school and I'm looking for a job, but I don't know where to turn to. I found landing.jobs, but they turn down every single application I send because I "don't have enough experience", even though I have 2 years worth of experience with .NET and Android development.
I like to think of you guys as friends, family even, and if you know any good place I could turn to to get a job, I would really appreciate it.
I feel frustrated and depressed, I've been sending resumes left and right and I haven't had a single shimmer of light, and I know what I'm capable of...
I'm sorry I'm taking this out on here, but I don't know where else to turn to...16 -
My professor said that he cold booted the pc.
It took me around a minute to realise that he meant he turned off and switched it back on.1 -
Grandma got her tub handle stuck.. Now water won't turn off... Have to turn off the entire house's water... FML3
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If you start sweeping a fly off the monitor with the mouse cursor, it's time to turn off the computer. 😵💫
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Why the fuck this windows has to turn on its autoupdate without even asking for once...shit win10...i just opened windows in my mac(vbox) to check disk and it took my 700mb mobile data fuck! Don't even has option to turn off...Useless..5
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Would it be possible to turn a raspberry pi 3 into a Hackintosh to run xcode for swift development?5
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I have speakers with a built-in amplifier that turn themselves off if no audio has been played for a while.
Behold: ~/bin/turn-on-speaker
#!/usr/bin/env sh
alsabat
Speaker turns on when it recieves sound, but it takes a while to play anything, so I won't hear anything anyway.4 -
Keep forgetting to turn my data off when I'm home. That moment when you check your data after playing some videos.5
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Make your code available for your team members, please.
So we're working on this robotics project using ROS, a framework that enables multiple nodes in a network exchange their functionality among each other through tcp connections. Each node can be implemented and executed on your own machine, and tested with dummy inputs, but in collaboration they make a robot do fancy stuff.
The knowledgebase needs data from the image processing unit, providing this data to others with semantic context to high level planning, which uses this semantic data for decision making and calling the robot manipulation node with meaningful input, to navigate the robot's components in the environment. We use a dedicated machine, which pulls the corresponding repositories and is always kept configured correctly, to run each node, such that everybody has access to each other's work when needed.
So far so good. We tried to convince the manipulation guy (let's call him John) to run his code on our central machine, not a week, but since the first day, 5 months ago. Our cluster classification has been unavailable for 2 months, but my collegue fixed that. We still can't run the whole project without John's computer. If his machine blows up we're fucked.
Each milestone feels like a big-bang-test, fixing issues in interfaces last-minute. We see the whole demo just moments before our supervisors arrive at the door.
I just hope he doesn't get hit by a truck.2 -
everytime i turn on my computer to complete my freelancing job i end up playing games.
any fixes? :/12 -
Why isn't all of Ace Combat 7 playable in VR mode? You can turn your head with R, so what would be the difference? They would lock the camera in cockpit view and turn it when you turned your head...2
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Mute your mic and turn off your goddamn cam while someone's talking in an online class FOR FUCKS SAKE!3
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Google map: "turn left your destination will be on your left", and 2 seconds later, "turn right and your destination will be on your right". 😐 So my destination is behind me?
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I'm given a simple assignment to update email templates. I tot it would be a breeze.
It turn out SURPRISE! After the updating of template is done. I deploy the code in the development environment.
I tried to access the email template like how the user will see to verify all is good. It turn out i am facing error.
So uhh ok, i went to check the logs to see what the hiccups. It turn out that a table is missing. But this is production code. So my question how the hell did the production environment has the table but dev don't.....6 -
Amazon Web Services conference and main question is...
"how do we turn off costs?"
Basically we don't want to pay -
When a designer walks into your office and asks you to turn on a feature that is not ready for production...1
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What's the best way to turn a phone into a dedicated http server? I have a useless android lying about. Wanna turn it into a server.
Linux tools on android? Or forget about android and install Linux on it from scratch? Which flavour?
Any tips?2 -
Wasted 2 years of my life working at a retail store den i decided fuck dis shit ama pursue dis web dev thing2
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Why would anyone think that it's a good idea to turn the heater on in toilets in this fucking weather.1
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Had to add some affiliate JS with a fallback pixel. Put it between noscript tags since thats what the fallback is meant for.
Affiliate Guy: did you implement the fallback?
Me: Did you turn of javascript?
AG: I've just talked to our developers, they say we can't turn of javascript or something
Me: <headdesk>
Are these people retarded -
Are there any valid reasons laptops turn on by themselves?
I just watched my mothers laptop turn on by itself and i could have sworn it was turned off (not hibernating)9 -
Just got explicitly told to turn off any Samsung Galaxy Note 7 devices in the usually generic pre-flight "Turn to flight mode" announcement 😂😂
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Can anyone recommend some articles or posts regarding turn based game AI?
Been racking my brain for the past few hours and havn't gotten anywhere! -
I think it would be interesting to turn a experience into a haiku. Like take a memorable experience, good or bad, funny or serious, and turn it into a Haiku.
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Micro$oft: why every Teams mobile update do you TURN THIS OFF???
Making me go back and turn it back on.
Discord, Slack, and literally everyone else figured this out ages ago.
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A Client updated from Windows 7 to Windows 10. Wifi just won't turn on. Great, Microsoft! Thank you for this shit.11
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Work instant messenger....I turn my status to "offline" to give myself relief from constant interruptions
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Hmmm...
So when you have a screen with light colors displayed and turn brightness down, the colors become darker.
BUT! If you have dark colors displayed and you turn the brightness down, do the colors get brighter?
Asking for a friend. -
Making something that is able to recognize what you're thinking and turn that thoughts into code. #advancedprogramming
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While true {
Paste snippet into VS
VS auto-formats on paste
Remember ya told yourself to turn off auto-correct on paste in VS
Deal with it for now
Forget to turn off auto-formats on paste
} -
Hearing the "don't turn your galaxy note 7 on during the flight, idiots" disclaimer before takeoff is just endlessly hilarious. And terrifying.
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Do you know how epic coding sessions van become when you turn on classic radio on Spotify and LOTR comes along?
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@dfox i can't receive any notification. even after i turn on the notification from settings and go back they turn off themself2
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