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User:"It's not working"
Me:"Have you turned it off and on again?"
User:"Yes"
Me: goes down there, system uptime is 360days...
"How do you turn it off?"
User:"by pressing the button on the monitor17 -
My conversation with my wife today, while I was at work:
Wife: The wifi isn't working.
Me: What's it doing?
W: Not working
Me: Try turning it off an on again.
.
.
.
Me: Is your phone on LTE? Or is it connected to wifi and the internet isn't working?
W: LTE. Aubrey (my wife's sister) said she turned it off and nothing happened.
Me: did she turn it back on?
W: Do you really want me to answer that?
Me: Just making sure. What lights are on on the router?
W: (Sends me a picture of the router with no lights on)
Me:...
W: Oh it isn't even plugged in
Me:...
W (after a couple minutes): Its working now!
YES I REALLY WANT YOU TO ANSWER IF YOU TURNED IT BACK ON!14 -
I just wrote more than 140 char in a tweet, inspect the element and turn Enable = True on Tweet button.
The response was epic.
6 -
I think I'm losing my mind working in the IT Department. 😂 Sometimes the questions are UNBELIEVABLE!
Client: Hi, my computer is not working.
Me: Hi, what's wrong with it?
Client: IDK. It won't work.
Me: Alright, what do you see on your screen?
Client: Nothing!
Me: Nothing as in there are no icons on your desktop or black screen?
Client: Oh, black screen.
Me: Is your monitor on? Do you see a light on the power-on button?
Client: Yes, it's white.
Me: Ok, good. What about your computer? Is it turned on?
Client: Well, I never turn off my computer so I assume it's on. I leave it as is when I leave the office then log-in in the morning when I come in.
**At this point I realized this person doesn't even lock the computer until it locks by itself after a while.
Me: Ok please turn on your computer by pressing the power button with a thin line on it. It should turn white.
Client: Ok but as I said I don't turn it off so why should I turn it on? Did it turn off by itself?
Me: That can happen.
Client: Ok....oh wait, it working! Thank you so much. Sorry if I was a little pain. I am a little stressed out this morning.
Me: No problem. Glad it worked. Have a good day.
*Hangs up confused. I mean really confused. Smh18 -
"Turn it off and on again."
Great for Wi-Fi routers and office appliances.
Life support, not so much.9 -
Forbes: Adblock Detected. Please Turn off your Ad blocker.
Me: *Turns off Adblock*
*Clicks on Continue*
Forbes: Thank you for turning off your Ad Blocker! blah blah
3...2...
Me: *quickly turns on Adblock*
1...
*clicks on Continue*
*Adblock blocks 11 ads and Forbes loads*16 -
My friend: OMG OMG OMG My laptop is dead!
Me: What do you mean it's dead? It doesn't even turn on?
My friend: Nooo, it does nothing?
Me: Are you sure it's plugged in?
My friend: Yesss
Me: You sure?
My friend: Yess, it's actually plugged into a multiple socket thingy...
Me: And that thing is plugged in to the wall..?
My friend: Well duh!
Me: And did you turn the switch on?
My friend: Of course I....oh, wait!! Never mind!!!!!
Me: >:/5 -
When you accidently open the bios menu on your smart watch when you're just trying to turn it back on 😂
13 -
Today we got the following (approximately, don't remember it literally) error message on a windows server:
Please turn on your computer. Updates can't be installed while your system is turned off.
Genuinely; de WUT?!10 -
*casually programming stuff*
*Sudden need to open cmd arises*
Me: *opens cmd and starts typing, when it hits me*
"Fuck"
Friend: "what happended?"
Me: "i forgot to turn on hackermode"
*enters "color 0a"*
"Better"
Friend: *chuckles angerly*6 -
Years ago I was an application developer at a medium sized corporation and was also responsible for support for an HR department. This occurred early one morning shortly after I arrived at work.
User: My app doesn't work.
Me: What's wrong with it?
User: I just get a blank screen.
Me: A blank screen? What happens when you hit a key?
User: Nothing.
Me: Do any apps work?
User: No, I just get a blank screen.
Me: Is your monitor on?
User: Yes, I turned it on.
This type of witty banter went on for several minutes when the answer suddenly hit me.
Me: Is your computer turned on?
User: Do I need to turn it on?
Me: Did you turn it off before you went home last night?
User: Yes.
Me: And do you normally turn it on in the morning when you come in?
User: Yes.
Me: Then why didn't you turn it on this morning when you came in?
User: I didn't know I needed to.
It was at this point I heard the programmer over the cubicle wall from me burst out laughing. He had been listening to the conversation and couldn't take it anymore.
The really sad part is that this was not an isolated incident. This kind of stuff occurred on a semi-regular basis with this individual's department.10 -
Hey you guys working on cloud technologies..
Can you guys... like .... turn off the 'Rain', in my location, for a while. ?
I wanna get home :\5 -
How to get free dark theme?
1) Set theme to blindingly white
2) Go to settings and turn on invert colours.
3) Profit15 -
-You can't just turn on creativity like a faucet. You have to be in the right mood.
-What mood is that?
-Last-minute panic.5 -
Turn on WiFi on my smartphone in the morning.
Evening: realize that the WiFi had not connected automatically and I used all my mobile internet.
7 -
Mainly a story with some ranting sprinkled on top :)
My grandma used to refuse to turn her PC off because ONE SINGLE WINDOWS 8.1 UPDATE like 2 years ago made it so that Windows would turn the PC on by itself, nevermind it was fixed in the next update, she would simply refuse to try to turn the PC off from that point on... I never looked at the uptime but the PC was sitting on a carpet and all the fans were struggling to keep spinning, so much dust! When I asked her why it's so dusty all around the PC (the table that the PC was under was covered in a really thick layer of dust) she replied that the chambermaid comes every Wednesday to clean up the whole flat so she has no idea. I set up a camera that was recording the whole room so I could see what was going on... sure enough the chambermaid avoided anything that looked like it could have some ICs in it with a distance of at least 2 meters... When I showed the video to my grandma she was like: Yes, she is scared of electronics...
Seriously fuck me... Allright, I cleaned the whole table, carpet and the inside of PC, everything ran so quietly that I wasn't sure if I plugged the fans in.
Anyway after this I had to record the PC one whole night so I could prove to my grandma that it would not turn on by itself and she can in fact turn it off.
Fuck me... what a bad week that was...
PS: Yes, my stories do not have a point :)5 -
!rant
AHHHHHHHH I MADE AN OFFER ON A HOUSE
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THEY ACCEPTED
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH INSPECTION DIDN’T TURN UP ANYTHING HORRIBLE
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH32 -
"Oh haha I found out why your PC isn't turning on, you forgot to turn on the power switch!"
*flick*
25 -
Sleep deprivation may have made this funnier than it actually is, but I can't NOT laugh when I see it
Source: Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal (smbc)
4 -
I have a colleague who has a fear of closing any window. He'll let his Mac run for months on end without closing any of the windows he's opened. He also has all kinds of browsers with tons of tabs open. He's a designer so I get his urge to not do all the technical bits and bobs every day, but for the love of zalgo restart your computer once in a while. Or at least close windows you don't use. It's come to a point where non of us want to help him, because helping him out takes forever with his slow as shit computer. We've asked/told/joked about it too him several times, but he just doesn't want to listen. At one point when I was helping him everything took so long that I decided to reboot for him. And of course Mac had to go and reopen every window that was open during shutdown, which took another good fifteen minutes. Shite OS. And naturally he spent the next hour fixing everything the way he liked it. He hasn't turned off his computer since (couple of months ago), except for when we moved to a new building a month ago.
Just had to get that annoyance of my chest.8 -
An app that lets you turn on the camera on someone's laptop to see if they're around. I'm not even kidding. She said it would be a social media thing... creeper.3
-
I'm redoing my setup right now and getting genuinely scared that when I turn on my server, the power will go down.
I'm using so many devices at the same time 😅14 -
Me: Hey Windows, I would love to use my Bluetooth headphones! Could you please turn on the Bluetooth?
Windows: Nope
Me: And why exactly?
Windows: I don’t know
Me: Then what I suppose to do?
Windows: Turn on Bluetooth
Me: Dude, but you can’t turn it on
Windows: I know
Me: So what the hell I suppose to do?
Windows: Maybe restart the computer?
Me: I’m downloading something man!
Windows: I don’t care
So I restarted it7 -
My iPhone can't turn on after being off for 10 days. Tried everything.
Fuck you Apple. Its 21st century. My nokia from 10+ years still can charge.12 -
Slept terrible the entire week due to a fucking annoying cold.
My turn of being the on call server engineer for a week starts tomorrow.
😭9 -
Me in the digital circuits class: "Bro I just got a pick up line in mind!"
Friend: "Go on.."
Me: "Girl, are you a boolean signal 1? 'Cause you turn me on 😏"
Friend: "I can't believe I'm your friend."6 -
I contantly keep forgetting to turn on my music. It's like:
*open youtube*
"Wait let me just do this thing real quick"
*alt-tab to ide, start coding*
*get in the zone, coding intensifies*
3 hours later...
"Oh yeah let's turn on some music"
Rinse and repeat...7 -
* playing music on MacBook
* turn down volume
* plug in headphones
* volume jumps to max and ears bleed6 -
ALWAYS make a backup, or at least save your files every 5 minutes (or turn auto-save on).
You never know whether your parents will click the X button and clicking No in the save confirmation.6 -
Just gotta love random hibernation wake ups, went sleep on time in like a year, fell asleep quick and then my fucking 3 monitors turn on and the fucking pc woke up, for no fucking reason, blasting equal of 4 suns into my eyes.9
-
Well, it is my turn to rant about the retards on Stack Overflow who are voting down questions only because they are not capable of understanding it.13
-
Old but gold.
How are computers like men?
In order to get it's attention, you have to turn it on.44 -
>on laptop in kitchen
>music playing on workstation in office
>fiancee asks to turn it off
>ssh workstation -t 'sudo poweroff'
It's like 6ft away... -
Welp, I just created a Minecraft server on a 48-Core Epyc with 256GB of RAM.
...I just hope I remember to turn it off when the free credits run out 😱18 -
Scammer calls claiming to be windows security expert.
Them: "sir, your windows computer is sending error code. Please turn it on so I cam Fix it. "
Me: "windows? I have a mac."
Them: "um.... " *hangs up*
Me: gotcha3 -
Trying to exit a bash script with 'halt'
on a friday afternoon
ran w/ root
on a internal prod-vm
which I did not had the permissions to turn on again4 -
I need to make a confession. I wrote shell scripts that will automatically turn on my system and will download games and movies for me after office hours, using office internet10
-
When you are the only developer on the job, you turn into a God and a peasant in the same sentence.3
-
The time when i learned to turn on the developer options ; i felt the same as a developer who has compiled his code without a single error. 😂
3 -
Young colleague: help me! My pc won't turn on!
Me.goto(colleague.desk)
Y. Colleague: See? I pushed the button and it didn't turn on!
Me: Have you tried push it a second time?
Y. Colleague:... No....
Me.push(start_button)
Pc turning on..6 -
Stewart doing his routine security brief:
"Please put your phone on airplane mode.
If you own a Galaxy Note 7, please turn it off."
*Half of passengers cracked up*3 -
Just managed to turn on and off three led with my phone on a raspberry and i feel like a fucking god !2
-
I know I shouldn't, but I had to laugh: "Does anyone know if the 'localhost' server is running? And could someone turn it on if it's down? I tried to connect but couldn't get through..."4
-
*Anything remotely technology related has an issue
Wife : I thought you were really good at computers?
Last time this came up our coffee maker wouldn't turn on.
🤷♂️4 -
Java and C
Java and C were telling jokes. It was C's turn, so he writes something on the wall, points to it and says "Do you get the reference?" But Java didn't.7 -
Hey hackers!
Just found root-me.org !
Cool enough to turn me on.
I've just finished first 8 challangrs which were piece of cake.
Let's see how it goes 😎2 -
[Developed a script that will trigger beeping sound on any laptop activity like a Skype message or incoming email]
Work for home Routine:
9:00 AM: Wake up, turn on Laptop, connect to Internet, Sleep again.3 -
iOS 11 you buggy piece of shit!
Layouts breaking all around, can’t figure out if it’s in landscape or portrait mode, lock menu disapearing, minimizing apps breaks them...
Oooh, you invented a GENIUS NEW option to turn mobile data on from launch control, but WiFi and Bluetooth buttons don’t turn these off, but disconnect from current network... WHOSE SMART ASS IDEA WAS THAT? BURN IN UX HELL ASSHOLE!
Haven’t seen a worse update since Vista...6 -
Cousin: my computer is broke
Me: oh, what happened?
Cousin: i dropped it and now it doesnt want turn on, can you fix it?
Me: im a programmer...
Cousin: yeah but you can fixed its the same thing!
Me:
4 -
So I dropped an FYI via slack to a colleague and they immediately replied!
How dare they! They are on vacation!
Turn off your slack, disable your notification, don't check your mails.
Your work shouldn't have any impact on how you spend your vacation. We will manage.5 -
I just love it when our clients decide to make a clone of live production server..then put it immediately online..and don't tell anyone about this.. and then start bitchin how data gets doubled all of a sudden..
Yeah, no shit sherlock.. you have two prod servers for 'hot swapping' and some services may only be running on one at a time.. You even have a manual on how to switch primary to secondary (turn off services on primary first, then turn them on on secondary and all)..or in case primary actually dies, just turn on services on secondary and you're good to go, right?
So how do ya think cloning the one with running services and putting the clone immediately online will work out?! 🤔
God, I thought it was common sense to not do that..but here I am, bitchin about how people fail to RTFM.. :/ or use brain..fuck..4 -
I tried to crochet a pusheen.
It didn’t turn out the way I envisioned. “Maybe googly eyes will help!”
…. I have had mixed comment on whether it makes it better or worse. 😅
6 -
This happens too frequently... I turn off my computer but then I sit in front of it for hours on my phone. It's 2:30 AM, go to sleep, me.
4 -
!dev
I think someone needs to turn the weather off and on again here. The dry thunderstorm that woke me up is now a hail storm. And its humid. And warm.
I'm on the West Coast, this is new England/east coast weather. Wtf.23 -
That time I thought I crashed a prod server which I had no access to physically turn it back on. Turned out it was doing its weekly reboot. Scary 3 minutes.
-
!rant
So, uh.
Just came back from my vacation, only to find out that my PC is now broken.
Like, it doesn't turn on.
Great.19 -
Vampire devs?
In my office, we have a big glass wall (a window wall, however you wanna call it), so we don’t need to turn on the lights until 5 o’clock.
Well, even though I’m goth, I hate to work on a dark office, but two of the other programmers don’t. Actually our boss adviced us to turn on the light to prevent vision problems. Fortunately, a partner of mine always turns on the light at 5 o’clock. They complain, so he tells them “oh, you vampires!!!” And they say “Elizadeath is the vampire here!”
What do you think is better? What works for you?18 -
Who remembers time when you actually had to press power button in order to turn your computer off?
Seen some YouTube video the other day with kids nowadays told to work on an old computer with I think win95 and no one figured out what the cryptic "You can now turn your computer off" meant :-)2 -
Overhauled my desk today, and here's the new setup! Also, the star lights turn on and off with my laptop.
18 -
*Boots PC to enjoy overwatch*
I wanted to see what was new with Cortana for some reason
*Asks Cortana what I can say*
One of the options shows an example
"Turn on High Contrast"
*Clicks the mic/listen button*
"Turn on High contrast"
Cortana responds
"Sorry I can't do that yet"
Wow, I just love voice assistants. Thanks Microsoft!6 -
Come back home and turn on my computer and what do i see?
Apparently Windows is now a Service...
I'm still not updating though... wonder if this is FCU...
11 -
That moment when you make heads turn, coz you are using laptop with loads of devRant sticker on it in metro.....
Feeling l33t..... -
"restarts Windows machine*
*windows updates, hah fuck you ima take 30 mins to shut off and turn on again*
*installing NSA... Please wait*
*windows has detected a problem, please wait*
......... I just wanted to restart it
-
Sony updates the firmware on their wireless headphones over Bluetooth. For TWO FUCKING HOURS. If, for some reason, the connection was to break during that period, - perhaps because Bluetooth isn't a reliable connection and was never meant to be - then the device will turn itself off (as it does when it loses connection), and it will try to boot into the half-installed firmware the next time you turn it on.21
-
Some touchscreens onboard weren't working and the flight attendants did the ol turn off and on again.
Tux seems pretty happily stuffed with herring in the corner.
3 -
Never knew words like “API” “PHP” “Backend Server” “Objective C” “C++” “Java” can be such a turn on when coming out of a female’s mouth in a meaningful order...
🤫6 -
That moment when you make a brilliantly profound comment to the team, then turn around and realise they're not in the room. Even on realising this, I say "Oh you're not there" OUT LOUD. What is wrong with me?!3
-
To any and all family members, before requesting my help with the printer/computer/electronic device follow these steps to make sure I don't get irritated.
1. Make sure it's plugged in.
2. Turn it off then back on
3. Turn it off, unplug it for around 30s, turn it back on.
4. Request help
Why is this so hard to grasp? I don't want to stop my workflow with an issue that could be resolved in less than a minute!1 -
who has used a screw driver to connect the prongs to turn on a computer without a case/power button?7
-
So I have a script that runs every time I turn on my PC. The script copies a few files to a ftp server in my basement. Forgot to turn off logging....
Opend the file in Notepad, and would you look at that, 1 GB of ram..? WTF?
Edit: Managed to open the file, turns out that it's been exactly one year since I started using the script.
3 -
It looks like computer is ready to party already. Suddenly noticed the lights turn themselves on (the remote was In my drawer)
12 -
Tested a site in edge browser but it kept crashing the browser. No idea why the site was crashing. Other sites worked fine. How did I fix it?
Restarted Windows...2 -
- I woke up litle bored.
- Turn on SSH session to linux server
chmod -R 000 /*
Me: uuhh... Now I feel more excited!8 -
This kid on the tape is me. I'm not even two years old there and I'm already messing around with wires.
Five minutes later on that tape I figured out how to turn the vacuum cleaner on and tried to tie it to the cassette deck.
No wonder why I'm a programmer now 😂
-
Driving to a family friend after work to check his wifi connection issues.
Turns out that she didn't knew about the hardware switch to turn it on and off again... 😏2 -
Fuck why is there no dedicated button to turn autocorrect on and off, that would be so useful, because I actually typo a lot on mobile, but the learning of it is trash, so for basic devrant stuff it's fine, but anywhere else it doesnt know what to do14
-
Every damn time I turn on my laptop I spend 15 mins just closing auto update shit from windows 10 and office
Dear Microsoft I have a 2Mbit line not 100000GB fiber optics, auto update cripples my internet 😒
4 -
Last night I was gaming online, thought I'd turn on MAC filter on my router. Mistyped my own MAC Address 😥7
-
Schrodingers cron: when a cronjob does not appear to be running and you turn email on it runs fine. Then you turn email off and doesn't appear to be running anymore...1
-
NO YOU PIECE OF FUCK APP I DO NOT WANT TO TURN ON YOUR FUCKING NOTIFICATIONS SO I WILL IMMEDIATELY GET YOUR SUPPOSEDLY AMAZING FEATURE STOP FUCKING ASKING.2
-
The recruiters have finally found me on LinkedIn!
And in a surprise turn of events suggested a job I'm actually qualified for... 😮3 -
Have IR in your smartphone? You must try this.
Go to the nearest bar or a place where there is a TV show/match going on. Turn the TV off and run :D. (Order pasta run fasta)8 -
this is how my head feels when entering the website with music automatically on without any controls to turn it off.... gottta love those UX guys or whoever dunit
2 -
Apple: this AppleID has been locked for security reasons.
User: Sign Out
Apple: Enter the Apple ID password to turn off Find My iPhone.
User: Turn Off
Apple: You must enter both your Apple ID and password.
User: OK
Apple, please stop bugging me, all I need is to test my websites on Safari occasionally because some customers prefer to use iPhone. Just don't bother me with your Apple ID crap9 -
first real program was an 8x8 maze game on my ti-83+ calculator. wrote all as nested ifs, and if you took one wrong turn it'd run out of memory3
-
Hop on a call without taking a shower....
Client requests to turn on video for a face to face conversation......
Happened twice
¯\_(ツ)_/¯9 -
- the first time I have to touch a GO codebase
- it's the day GH goes down
come on, what's happening here! First dR, now GH? Tomorrow what - SO's turn?8 -
Bought cup noodle to save time and hassle. Forgot to turn on the electric kettle. Pour the water into cup without checking temperature. In the end, have to cook with the pot anyway. What the **** am I doing?5
-
I somehow managed to turn on overtype with the insert key.
Welp, guess it's time to get a new laptop. Any recommendations?
5 -
Every day in Support....
Turn your pc off and on please...
Is the cable plugged in....
Is this really your pc... -
Add more RAM. Computer won't turn on, reseting CMOS from motherboard jumper, everything works fine.
Feelings satisfied and everyone is in shock from the "jumper" method.1 -
I'd like a power button on the outside of my laptop so I don't have to open it.
I think 90% of the time I turn my laptop on ... it is closed and "docked" with a bunch of cables running to it and ... probably another laptop on top of it.14 -
2 freaking hours wasted on "Working on updates. Dont turn off the computer" on windows10. There should be a way to postpone that. Jesus
11 -
> Using VSCode to work on a netcore project
> Switch to VS for some resharper refactoring
> VS eats up 100% of an i7 3.5GHz CPU, freezes the whole fucking PC
> Force shut down the computer, turn it back on
> "Windows is working on updates"
FUCK YOU, YOU COCKSUCKING MOTHERFUCKER! GO CHOKE ON A THROBBING FUTANARI COCK!8 -
I wish clients knew what went into building custom features.
"Oh, you can't just turn it on?"
No...I have to write the gah damned feature FFS! -
In horror movies. Characters do things that they them-self know it could kill them. Like getting in basement.
As a developer we all know to never deploy code on Friday. Here we are taking the wrong turn.2 -
When you forget to turn off your passwordless personal hotspot on your iPhone and it says it has 1 connection.
1 -
Mac fucking book pro! No! Just because I brushed up against you doesn’t mean I want you to boot up! Do you think I’m that eager to turn you on? Is the usual brain dead Apple user that fucking lazy to not wanna press a button to turn his computer on? And there’s no fuckin’ way to change this behavior!? I tried changing system variables but none of the suggested tips work. And you even have Apple support people ask: "why WOULN'T you want it to boot up if you sneeze on it?" FUXKKLK13
-
My laptop is in a coma, it won't turn on!
Now I don't have anything to do with my life, it's been 2 days and I feel like a stone age man9 -
Android MediaCodec and me
ME: What's the meaning of life?
MC: 42
ME: Why did you crashed?
MC: -19
ME: WHAT THE ... -19? StackOverflow?
SO: Have you tried to turn it off and on again?1 -
I put together my first custom computer, was too cheap to buy a case for it, at the end I realized the "power button" is on the case itself!! Anyone else turn on a computer by manually using a metal object to connect the power pins :/2
-
!rant
I fuckin love technology man.
Whenever I'm walking up to my apartment I can turn my lights, tv and Xbox on AND even have the game I want to play loaded up before I unlock the door.20 -
Music is not always a foreground activity.
Spotify... why don't you have a volume slider specifically for your output on my phone..?
Why do I need to turn ALL non-call volume down to just turn the music down.
Sometimes I want to play games with music but I don't want the music to be totally loud.
Sometimes I wanna do WHATEVER at full volume with some music in the background.
But I just... can't
What the fuck.4 -
Update on the API based game that I’m working on.
All of the game logic and API is mostly done.
Here is a gif which shows a few turns with a very simple "AI" vs a passive bot.
I’m bad at graphics so a went for a more abstract UI:
The arrows represent the looking direction of the units and the black dots represent the direction of the shots being fired at a particular turn. Units can look and move and shoot in different directions in one turn.
https://devrant.com/rants/10176221/...
10 -
Ey! Who of you uses that damn timer library (dunno the name) in your apps where you set on left side the hour and on right side the minutes.
AND AFTER YOU OVERSCROLLED THE 00-MINUTE AGAIN YOU HAVE TO TURN THE HOUR BACK!!!!
I hate you :D2 -
My fucking internet went off and was so slow that even ssh resetted me, fucking thanks. And it was the same typical pattern again: turn off, turn on, kbps speed, wait ~30/50 minutes and then again fullspeed, fucking cuntbags stop fucking fingerbanging the ethernet ports - I need to get shit done.
1 -
Java and C were telling jokes. It was C's turn, so he writes something on the wall, points to it and says "Do you get the reference?" But Java didn't.7
-
Me: Bluetooth not connecting to headphones, turn off and on again
Bluetooth mouse: Bluetooth is off, now what you want me to do?
I wish this was a joke... Yes, I am that stupid.5 -
Just hung 2 motherboards on my wall that I'll turn into key holders wire holders, power banks and I'll put up a raspberry pi in between as a little server.
Watcha think?
7 -
You know who is pathetic? People who turn off comments after they get negative feedback on something they posted10
-
Epic fail. I use a sleep timer in my music player and it occasionally fails to stop and clear the actual timer. It even perpetuates through when I actually turn off my phone, which is rather quite impressive. This is what I find when I turn my phone back on after the weekend. I don't even know how it's possible to have still been going when my phone is off... 🤔
4 -
My laptop decided to not turn on or charge anymore in times where I needed it a lot and when repairment funding is not the best. Thank you, universe3
-
When your boss turn on the auto-update for WordPress and then one day he is complaining about the White Screen Of Death of the website.2
-
The best thing with a power outage in an apartment complex is watching everybody's wifi turn back on.
-
Game development is a nightmare when your first starting out because you tend to neglect on keeping a small book on event notes.
Such as which event triggers what, and what events to turn off when the player starts the game.
You tend to get events that either don't start when player is far into game because you forgot to turn the event trigger on for something much for earlier in the game.
Live and Learn2 -
When you try and replace the hard drive in your dev machine because the replacement you bought for someone else doesn't work but works for you. You go to turn the computer back on but nothing comes on screen........
-
Why are programmers not allowed in the Intensive Care Unit?
Because they like to turn stuff off and on again1 -
A dev's worst nightmare can be summed up as this:
"Working on updates
5% Progress
Don't turn off your computer"
So much for getting some work done tonight.....5 -
It took me at least half an hour to figure that one out. :(
These kind of bugs are the most depressing.
3 -
All I want was to turn on my PC and relax while playing my fav game after an exhausting day... but noooooo!!! Game can't start due to an app hang. Blame win10 for that...1
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I hate iOS so much. Just hit a nasty bug where "optimizer" in browser sometimes randomly replaces a function with a number. Like WTF? Was developing a webpage working on iOS too easy, so they enabled a hard mode where some of your functions may turn on you?1
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Starting game modding on Garry's Mod 9 back in 2006. I was 14. I never thought it would turn into my career. Also I miss writing Lua3
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So my computer crashed while I was coding in eclipse. I turn it on and the class I was working on is absolutely empty, only one empty line
It wasn't a big class, but that still hurts2 -
I asked my girlfriend to turn on pc. She asked: I turn on the computer are up or the computer that is under?
....ok ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
2 -
Bought a nice widescreen monitor from Samsung through B&H Photo. 2 weeks later it wouldn't turn on. Shipped it in thrice for repairs and on the third time Samsung exchanged it for a new one. 7 days later the new one won't turn on. Same symptoms. The seller's money-back guarantee has expired, of course. No idea if Samsung will just give me the original value in cash so I can find another one from another manufacturer who knows how to make monitors. I'll probably just get ripped off. Time to die?21
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Working a support role years ago I commonly would be asked how to turn on a monitor. In rare cases I was asked where the PC power button was.
-
How can I turn off “new comments on a rant you posted” notification. I mean in app notification like this;
7 -
Java and C were telling jokes. It was C's turn, so he writes something on the wall, points to it and says "Do you get the reference?" But Java didn't.11
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For some reason, I cannot use my computer for anything other than programming anymore. Whenever I turn the lid on, I can either write code or stare at the screen indefinitely. No other option!3
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I have a freaking cool, useless idea, but i dunno if it will actually work
1. Put a usim in the slot
2. Reads information and connects with ISP
3. Turn on mobile data
4. Turn on hotspot
5. And useas a portable wifi
Don't ask me why you don't bring my phone, there are reasons
The os will be no screen only physical buttons with stripped down aosp
Can it work? Or in other words, is it possible?11 -
Stop scrolling.
Turn your keyboard upside down, and shake it vigorously for a minute.
Now carry on.6 -
I have desktop pc that I use for gaming on windows from time to time but most of time it stays turned off.
My gaming experience is usually:
1. turn it on
2. wait for windows update
3. turn it off
Doing same quest over and over, how I’m supposed to get to the next level ?
I don’t have so much time for gaming.7 -
My SO house installed broadband yesterday. She just told me that her parents turn off the router since the light was on. 😂😂I'm LMAO here.1
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It's more of a learning project than something I plan to actually use for anything, but after playing a few classic SNES-era RPGs, I started writing a simple turn-based battle system. I haven't worked on it in ages and would love to get back to it, maybe even turn it into a whole game some day.2
-
Reinstalled windows.
Now it updates.
Stayed for 10 freakin minutes on "Working on updates. 100% complete. Don't turn off your computer!" and then went back to 0%. FUCK YOU WINDOWS, FUCK ME FOR NOT BEING ABLE TO RUN LOL ON UBUNTU. FUCK FUCK FUCK.3 -
Why the fuck does teams' meeting overlay automatically focus on the mute or webcam button, NOW I CAN ACCIDENTALLY TURN THEM ON
Time to dig into the settings3 -
It could either turn out really well or most of the day will be wasted on setting up one's development environment
-
Got a text from the bank that my salary is credited in my account on my way to work.
Can I turn around and head back home now? -
Disconnecting with people around me with headphones and songs.. Turning off all chatting and notifications medium including Skype and Slack. Turn off mobile network and profile. In short, disconnecting from world helps me focus on goals more.1
-
The moment when you wake up next morning, turn on your monitors and realize that the heavily needed update you wanted to install overnight didn't even start....1
-
Turn on colorful lights
Fire up some crackers
Consume sweets
Browse places with friends
Debug darkness
Reboot your inner system
😀 HAPPY DIWALI 😀
✨✨🎈🎊🎋🎑🎊🎏🎀🎁2 -
Today we're going over a list of mouth breathers that I strongly dislike.
- people that don't turn their turn signal on until they've basically come to a complete stop.
- people who can't follow the pattern in grocery stores. THERE ARE FUCKING STICKERS ON THE FLOOR. FOLLOW THE FUCKING PATTERN.
- people that post on a forum and then never respond to the replies on their posts7 -
On the middle of a lecture, someone forgot to turn their phone down and right at a quiet bit we hear
"SEGA"
Best part is I'd forgotten about this and cracked up when I was listening to the recording1 -
I feel incredibly frustrated. I just got out of school and I'm looking for a job, but I don't know where to turn to. I found landing.jobs, but they turn down every single application I send because I "don't have enough experience", even though I have 2 years worth of experience with .NET and Android development.
I like to think of you guys as friends, family even, and if you know any good place I could turn to to get a job, I would really appreciate it.
I feel frustrated and depressed, I've been sending resumes left and right and I haven't had a single shimmer of light, and I know what I'm capable of...
I'm sorry I'm taking this out on here, but I don't know where else to turn to...16 -
I actually don't mind setting up the printer. What I do mind is when they call me when the computer won't even turn on. Like I have spare power supply's just lying around.1
-
I reflashed my Oneplus One because for some reason it wouldn't boot into OS. It would just shut off after it boots.
Recovery was fine though. So thought it was a ROM issue, sideloaded the latest copy.
Still didn't work so as a last ditch effort I plugged it into the charger it.... figured i'd deal with it tonight.
Well now I turn it on again and it boots... Power bar says 71%....
Somehow it lost 40% power from just sitting on my desk a week unused.... or maybe i just remembered wrong. But still strange I could turn it on and even sideload from Recovery...1 -
Samsung, for blinking while I'm playing on PS4 (according to the Samsung forums it's common problem with some models) at work. You want a few minutes break? Let's turn screen black for few seconds every minute.
-
reading a forum on Whiite Linux -
A: (guide on how to install whiite)
B: ok. so turn something useless into something else useless. got it.
Me: its too early,to be reading this
Source: https://forum.roblox.com/Forum/...3 -
I might have asked this before, but why when I turn on my personal VPN (personal vps) Internet suddenly becomes faster?
Is it because filtering no longer works?9 -
I have this beautiful Sony Vaio C1XS ultraportable sitting around, I can't turn it on because it uses a non-standard RAM stick Sony only made in the late 90s... Such a pretty device
3 -
I deleted my ubuntu partition from my windows, and when I turn the pc on, it shows up the grub terminal with a black background.
I need help, I need to install linux again too.7 -
Why the fuck this windows has to turn on its autoupdate without even asking for once...shit win10...i just opened windows in my mac(vbox) to check disk and it took my 700mb mobile data fuck! Don't even has option to turn off...Useless..5
-
What if life was on git? Where you can simply create new branches of it, stash shit, remove dumb people with dependencies and finally the ability to turn back time with this version control.5
-
I have speakers with a built-in amplifier that turn themselves off if no audio has been played for a while.
Behold: ~/bin/turn-on-speaker
#!/usr/bin/env sh
alsabat
Speaker turns on when it recieves sound, but it takes a while to play anything, so I won't hear anything anyway.4 -
So since elementary is based on Ubuntu 16.04 would it be possible to turn it back into Ubuntu but keep all my data then upgrade to 17?3
-
Rant
Look mom just because I can change a hard drive on a desktop doesn't mean I can figure out why your laptop won't turn on. Also I'm sorry I have no idea how to create super fancy art work in Microsoft outlook2 -
2X Tickets solved by rebooting the server after .Net Installation.
Client Default answer to: "Did you turn it off and on again?"
Always silence until you force the reboot after an server check and analysis.2 -
A customer of ours not to say names trains people for infosec certs upon investigating their website I noticed they don't have forward secrecy enabled.
Why? What? Even?
Turn it on you baddies.2 -
Apple's thoghts: it's better to create shortcuts using the new ios12 app to turn on/off completely wifi/bluetooth rather than selecting it from control center like it was supposed to function
10000 IQ3 -
Symfony totally misses the point that a cache is supposed to sit on top of your code and accelerate it, not be an integral part of the software, so you cannot turn it the fuck off!!!
-
Google map: "turn left your destination will be on your left", and 2 seconds later, "turn right and your destination will be on your right". 😐 So my destination is behind me?
-
Been using Yahoo's mail app and I'm pretty impressed with it. Finally a mail app that doesn't require you to turn on the Sync switch for it to work. What's your default mail app and why?15
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NGL on the weekend I love eating, drinking beer, and not coding. Granted if I want to code, I will, but I like that i can do it as a hobby and turn my coding brain off if I want to.
-
everytime i turn on my computer to complete my freelancing job i end up playing games.
any fixes? :/12 -
Get to work, turn on PC, discover update you scheduled for 10pm Friday didn't finish, sit here for an hour and a half waiting for it to finish.
5 -
Has any else noticed the True Tone brightness on IOS 13.6.1 going really dark at times to the point it's almost pitch black?
I've had to turn it off and on again a few times for the brightness to be correct again.1 -
There's a special place in hell for those who turn the lights on next to you when you are trying to sleep or listens to music without headphones on on the bus.1
-
!dev. Tried streaming today. Was gonna download the file after rather than record at same time
Forgot to turn that setting on. Sooo... Guess I'm not getting my first video saved lol oops2 -
When a designer walks into your office and asks you to turn on a feature that is not ready for production...1
-
Just before coming home for Christmas I went to get files off my desktop. No luck, it wouldn't turn on.
So likely going back home to a broken desktop. -
Asked a question on SO,
Why is my Microcontroller (Android things IOT) not getting detected in my Mac to flash an image?
Someone commented:
Mac doesn't provide enough power to it.
(Really, I can see a green light on the board)4 -
How do I turn off notifications for a specific post I commented on?
The reason being: people will keep commenting on a post I once posted in and I don't want to get notifications of those.3 -
Going to France for a week on Sunday. First time away without a computer, I do have my iPhone though. Should I read my emails or ignore them? Hope things don't turn to shit.4
-
making my own working parser for a project i worked on
i used it to turn a custom file "format" (think json: a format but still plain text) into code / functions on the fly1 -
Are there any valid reasons laptops turn on by themselves?
I just watched my mothers laptop turn on by itself and i could have sworn it was turned off (not hibernating)9 -
Why would anyone think that it's a good idea to turn the heater on in toilets in this fucking weather.1
-
I took a week off of devRant but I kept writing rants in my notes. Stay tuned and don't forget to subscribe and turn on the notification bell.3
-
When is Slack finally going to fix their broken notifications on mobile? I am so pissed everytime I turn on wifi, hundreds of notifications are raping my phone and tablet. But when I actually want to get notifications on my phone (and leave PC running) I get fucking none.1
-
What's the best way to turn a phone into a dedicated http server? I have a useless android lying about. Wanna turn it into a server.
Linux tools on android? Or forget about android and install Linux on it from scratch? Which flavour?
Any tips?2 -
`Holy shit never turn on caught exception breakpoints in vs code for node !
and the one place i need the damn code to break, it doesn't break !1 -
put on headphones, turn up volume to max and play some hardcore music and let myself dig so write random code w/e without thinking what and why. after some time usually I have lead to the solution.
-
A single update broke my Asus RoG phone 5S.
WhatsApp has started to silently get voice calls out of nowhere.
New messages don't ring a notification sound anymore. Nor any updates on the lock screen/notification drawer.
WiFi doesn't connect automatically after turning it on. The list doesn't even show up. I have to turn my phone off and turn it back on after 5 mins to restore that functionality.
My phone automatically switches off at 18% battery. I've seen it happen 3 times by now.
Fuck modern software. -
Come on, throw ANY foreign library or package at me, and I dare you, I double dare you mf, I'll turn your life into a shitshow!
~ Every frickin IDE ever -
A Client updated from Windows 7 to Windows 10. Wifi just won't turn on. Great, Microsoft! Thank you for this shit.11
-
Anyone here with jio know why the MyJio app is trying to turn my WiFi off every 10 seconds? I still have this crap installed just because there are a few coupons on it for recharges.
13 -
Rant/ Question.
I've lost count how many times windows has decided to wake itself up from sleep mode to update. Sometimes it doesn't even update, I will be laying in bed and it will turn on, I will then have to sit up for half an hour waiting for it to finish (otherwise my pc will just be on all night) then when it is finally done, I will get up and go to turn it off and it says "Turn off and update" and need to update again.
To make it worse, it restarts itself while updating, so all the stuff I wanted to keep open by putting it in sleep mode will be gone.
Is there any way to prevent windows from doing this update during sleep mode? If not I am going to need to completely turn off my PCs power when it is in sleep mode, which it just a pain for me.1 -
when you are working on a project and your computer turned off(cause battery exists)
Me: FUUU WHY THE F*CK DID IT TURN OF, I HATE THIS COMPUTER, IF I HAD ANOTHER COMPUTER THIS WOULD NOT HAVE HAPPENED. -
Okay so I was ignoring Windows 10 update from past few days. Today I turned on my PC and it's saying
Deleting your data
33% complete
Don't turn off -
Since I think last update I can't start the entire project via docker's GUI because it can't handle WSL paths - but I still can turn on each containerone by one.
-
Micro$oft: why every Teams mobile update do you TURN THIS OFF???
Making me go back and turn it back on.
Discord, Slack, and literally everyone else figured this out ages ago.
-
When you start a data import to a test database on Friday as it will take a few days only to forget later and turn off your PC. Just finished after restarting it Monday.
-
!rant
I'm better at getting work done when I have work to do.
Put your phone on airplane mode, turn off internet on your computer (unless you really need it) and write down what you need to do and when it's due. Just do it.1 -
My Snowflake Tor extension is automatically off every time I start Chrome. I have to turn it off and on for it to activate.
Works perfectly fine on Firefox though.
😕 -
Like probably many engineers; I work with a lot of Indians from different companies. I realized the big majority of them don't turn on their cameras in online meetings. Does anyone know why?14
-
Hearing the "don't turn your galaxy note 7 on during the flight, idiots" disclaimer before takeoff is just endlessly hilarious. And terrifying.
-
why the fuck does it take 5-7 minutes for fucking filezilla to make a successful connection after I turn on my pc ''Initializing TLS..."? WTF, this makes me angry and paranoid at the same time because it doesn't happen on other PC's I use.4
-
I hate on screen finger print scanners...
I've had to take 3 prints of my thumbs... And unlocking is just slower... Especially since the screen first needs to turn on....
I bet for Pixel 7, they going to undo this...4 -
Hi I love Manjaro so for this Christmas I have just installed it on my computer. But I don't why I can't turn on the Wi-Fi.
:(
If someone can help I will be glad3 -
While true {
Paste snippet into VS
VS auto-formats on paste
Remember ya told yourself to turn off auto-correct on paste in VS
Deal with it for now
Forget to turn off auto-formats on paste
} -
I tried to turn on my Gateway Desktop, I didn't realize it was unplugged so I sold it.. At least I have cash for a newer model 😂
-
Well at home I have a whiteboard and on that white board I make a list of things I want the code to do, don't do, and any ideas possible to emulate then I grab a cup of coffee turn on some music and start
-
Every time I turn on device mode on Google Chrome devtools I lose my session (I'm assuming it deletes the cookies).
1. Is this just in my local setup?
2. Is there a way to keep my current session every time I turn on/off device mode on Chrome?
3. What other solutions would I have to do live tests of responsive design on my website?
Thanks!5 -
@dfox i can't receive any notification. even after i turn on the notification from settings and go back they turn off themself2
-
What is the best way to set up two monitors? Every single configuration I try, I end up having to turn my head left/right on such a regular basis that I actually get a sore neck. :(10
-
Anyone on vscode insiders, did they move the integrated terminal tabs to the left instead of the top where it's always been? Can you change it back?
Edit:
Ok settings > terminal > integrated show tabs can turn it off
yuck -
so... that you people understand.
not sleeping with dirty people.
don't find it a turn on to see a red light district with a whole family in it.
and know things that make me generally uninterested.2 -
Do you know how epic coding sessions van become when you turn on classic radio on Spotify and LOTR comes along?
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