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This is by far the best please turn off your Adblock I have ever seen. I actually paused my ad blocker 😂
33 -
Dear dfox,
Thank you for not making your app completely change layouts and screw up scrolling whenever we turn on our sides when reading rants in bed, unlike nearly every mobile web browser out there. We all really appreciate it.
--Random devRanter12 -
Last month: Opening devrant
Facebook, Mark Zuckerberg, FUCK FACEBOOK, ZUCKED ME, KILL MARKBOOK, ATTACK FACEBERG
Last week: Opening devrant
GDRP, GDRP, GGEEDDEERRPPPEEEEE, FUCK GDRP, YEEEY GDRP, WHY GDRP, UPDATED OUR GDRP, FUCKED MY GDRP, PEED IN MY GDRP
this week: Opening devrant
Microsoft, Github, NO Microshit, Burn Github, FUCK GITHUB, POO ON MY MICROHUB, VOMITED ON MY GITSOFT
next week:????
(Google, you better be ready, it's your turn)25 -
A man was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will tell everyone how smart and brave you are and how you are my hero" The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will be your loving companion for an entire week." The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for a year and do ANYTHING you want." Again the man took the frog out, smiled at it, and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a year and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?" The man said, "Look, I'm a computer programmer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is cool."11
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This is a fun conversation I had:
Test Engineer: 😑 The test bench burst into flames.
Me: 😪😲 Do what now?
TE: 😐 The test bench burst into flames. It made a pretty impressive fire ball.
Me: 😮 . . . How are you so calm about this?
TE: 😐 Well it's not on fire now.
Me: 😶 Good point.
TE:😧 made me mad as hell though.
Me: 😕 why's that?
TE: 😬 Cuz I only had one damn step left in that test procedure and it was to turn the damn test bench off.
Me: 🤔 Correct me if I'm wrong but the test bench is off is it not?
TE: 😐 Well yeah.
Me: 🤔 and you caused it to be turned off by your actions no?
TE: 😕 . . . yeah . . .
Me:🤔 sounds like you turned it off to me.
TE: 😒
Me: 🙂
TE: 😐
Me: ☺
TE: 😑
Me: 😎
TE: 😐 but it won't turn on again.
Me: 🤔 do you have a requirement to be able to turn it on again after you turn it off?
TE: 😑 It's implied.
Me: 😐 not what I asked
TE: 😧 No not explicitly.
Me: 😎 sounds like you completed the test procedure.
TE: 😑
Me: 😎
TE: 😑
Me: 😎
TE: 😧 that's not how it works.
Me: 😎 doesn't it?
TE: 😑 No.
Me:😎
TE: *walks away* 😧😧😧
Me: *turns back to computer* well I was just trying to help YOU out 😒
I am the best at interpersonal communication.17 -
I think I'm losing my mind working in the IT Department. 😂 Sometimes the questions are UNBELIEVABLE!
Client: Hi, my computer is not working.
Me: Hi, what's wrong with it?
Client: IDK. It won't work.
Me: Alright, what do you see on your screen?
Client: Nothing!
Me: Nothing as in there are no icons on your desktop or black screen?
Client: Oh, black screen.
Me: Is your monitor on? Do you see a light on the power-on button?
Client: Yes, it's white.
Me: Ok, good. What about your computer? Is it turned on?
Client: Well, I never turn off my computer so I assume it's on. I leave it as is when I leave the office then log-in in the morning when I come in.
**At this point I realized this person doesn't even lock the computer until it locks by itself after a while.
Me: Ok please turn on your computer by pressing the power button with a thin line on it. It should turn white.
Client: Ok but as I said I don't turn it off so why should I turn it on? Did it turn off by itself?
Me: That can happen.
Client: Ok....oh wait, it working! Thank you so much. Sorry if I was a little pain. I am a little stressed out this morning.
Me: No problem. Glad it worked. Have a good day.
*Hangs up confused. I mean really confused. Smh18 -
!Rant
Support Call:
”our PC stick isn't booting up! Come and fix it! (angry)”
Me:
”The PC are meant to boot up whenever power is delivered to them. Are you sure your TVs are powered on?”
Support Call:
”Yes! I just pressed the power button on both TVs and it didn't turn on the PC sticks.”
Me:
”So you can confirm the TVs are on? Can you change the input and see what happens?”
Support Phone:
”Stop wasting my time and send someone down to fix it now! I told you it isn't working!”
Me:
”Ok, we will get someone out to you as soon as possible.”
Then a support guy drives 2 hours to their store.
When he gets there he realizes that the TVs power is connected to a light switch and they has the switch off!!!
He said ”can we turn on some lights so I can see behind the TV?” and then all the fucking TVs came on.
These are times when I fully understand the concept of “firing a customer”.
The customer sent an email saying ”the downtime for your product was unacceptable.” even after it was explained to them that the problem was them turning off the power.
These fucking idiots actually expect us to deliver products to display on TVs without fucking electricity to run them.
13 -
So, my broadband internet is not working. Naturally, i called my ISP and complained.
He enlightened me, "Turn on your TV and watch the news. Theres a deadly computer virus on the loose and it is affecting banks and businesses and everything. So we decided to help our customers by turning our services down for a few days."
What the actual fuck?
Its like to Not eat anything due to a bird flu.
Oh! and i have an exam tomorrow.
Thank you muggles.17 -
IT: Hi, how can I help?
User: Hi, I can't get onto the wifi / internet, my computer says "No Signal".
IT: Hm, we don't have wifi, your on a cable, what exactly is saying no signal?
User: Its just on the screen here.
IT: No but where, are you inside a browser, or is it a popup down the bottom corner?
User: No I haven't got that far yet, it just says no signal on a black screen, then it flashes and says no signal in another position.
IT: ...... did you turn on your computer after turning on the monitor ... thats the screen saying no signal from the computer.
User: ah yep, thats it, thanks!3 -
Forbes: Adblock Detected. Please Turn off your Ad blocker.
Me: *Turns off Adblock*
*Clicks on Continue*
Forbes: Thank you for turning off your Ad Blocker! blah blah
3...2...
Me: *quickly turns on Adblock*
1...
*clicks on Continue*
*Adblock blocks 11 ads and Forbes loads*16 -
First Helpdesk call of the day:
"My PC has been stuck on the same thing for an hour now. Its completely crashed."
"Does pressing ctrl alt delete do anything?"
"Where's that button?"
"Its 3 buttons - ctrl in the bottom left, alt beside the spacebar and delete over near the arrow keys. Press them all at the same time. Does it do anything?"
"No"
"Okay then, you need to manually power off the laptop then."
"How do i do that?"
"Hold down the power button"
"Where's that?"
"....on your laptop?! It's how you turn it on in the mornings?"
*60 seconds go by* "oh i see it. Ok i pressed it! Its Flashing blue now."
"Oh, no, just hold it down until everything goes black."
"The power button?"
"Yes."
"But that would turn off the entire PC?"
"Yes."
"Why do i have to do that?"
God help me if this is how my day is going to be 😢11 -
When you accidently open the bios menu on your smart watch when you're just trying to turn it back on 😂
13 -
Parents: When your child spends a lot of time with the PC and doesn't want to interact with you, you have some reflection to do before you turn off the internet and nag them for things all day. Chances are, they don't like being with you but don't want to say it, either, because of the kind of things they know you will say and think if they do it.
And for the love of everything that is holy, do NOT turn the internet off! That pisses them off even more!
Maybe I'd have told you how much I hate being forced to be with you if it didn't mean I'd get guilt tripped about it.
Being around the people who pretend that you are a fucking machine that only needs material things in life and does not at all need emotional support at least in the early parts of your life and deflecting every legit argument for the things you stand for with "Muh Feelingz" makes them seem even more pathetic than they are. They manage to be an inspiration to everyone who doesn't know them, yet fail to be the persons their children have any respect for.
It's as if children never imitate their surroundings at all...9 -
Dear Misinformed idiots,
Just because you watched Silicon Valley doesn't mean you actually understand how Software Development works.
-We don't sit in front of a screen in an AC room googling funny pictures
-We don't think of new Algorithms by pretending to be jerking.
-We don't "get lucky" with our code, it takes hours of studying and research to come up with a solution which actually works.
-And we definitely can't just "create the *next* Google", THAT is not how it works.
I swear to the God ya'll love and cherish, the next person to approach me to turn their shit idea into "The next big thing", I'll leave everything aside and drive a screwdriver through your neck.
- An Engineer tired of everyone's never ending shit storm.10 -
Anyone know this bitch hacker 127.0.0.1 story?
WORST HACKERS OF ALL TIME
CONTINUED IN THE COMMENTS BECUASE IT IS SO LONG...
TLdr bitch hacker hacks himself by localhost
bitchchecker (~java@euirc-a97f9137.dip.t-dialin.net) Quit (Ping timeout#)
bitchchecker (~java@euirc-61a2169c.dip.t-dialin.net) has joined #stopHipHop
<bitchchecker> why do you kick me
<bitchchecker> can’t you discus normally
<bitchchecker> answer!
<Elch> we didn’t kick you
<Elch> you had a ping timeout: * bitchchecker (~java@euirc-a97f9137.dip.t-dialin.net) Quit (Ping timeout#)
<bitchchecker> what ping man
<bitchchecker> the timing of my pc is right
<bitchchecker> i even have dst
<bitchchecker> you banned me
<bitchchecker> amit it you son of a bitch
<HopperHunter|afk> LOL
<HopperHunter|afk> shit you’re stupid, DST^^
<bitchchecker> shut your mouth WE HAVE DST!
<bitchchecker> for two weaks already
<bitchchecker> when you start your pc there is a message from windows that DST is applied.
<Elch> You’re a real computer expert
<bitchchecker> shut up i hack you
<Elch> ok, i’m quiet, hope you don’t show us how good a hacker you are
<bitchchecker> tell me your network number man then you’re dead
<Elch> Eh, it’s 129.0.0.1
<Elch> or maybe 127.0.0.1
<Elch> yes exactly that’s it: 127.0.0.1 I’m waiting for you great attack
<bitchchecker> in five minutes your hard drive is deleted
<Elch> Now I’m frightened
<bitchchecker> shut up you’ll be gone
<bitchchecker> i have a program where i enter your ip and you’re dead
<bitchchecker> say goodbye
<Elch> to whom?
<bitchchecker> to you man
<bitchchecker> buy buy
<Elch> I’m shivering thinking about such great Hack0rs like you
bitchchecker (~java@euirc-61a2169c.dip.t-dialin.net) Quit (Ping timeout#)
bitchchecker (~java@euirc-b5cd558e.dip.t-dialin.net) has joined #stopHipHop
<bitchchecker> dude be happy my pc crashed otherwise you’d be gone
<Metanot> lol
<Elch> bitchchecker: Then try hacking me again… I still have the same IP: 127.0.0.1
<bitchchecker> you’re so stupid man
<bitchchecker> say buy buy
<Metanot> ah, [Please control your cussing] off
<bitchchecker> buy buy elch
bitchchecker (~java@euirc-b5cd558e.dip.t-dialin.net) Quit (Ping timeout#)
bitchchecker (~java@euirc-9ff3c180.dip.t-dialin.net) has joined #stopHipHop
<bitchchecker> elch you son of a bitch
<Metanot> bitchchecker how old are you?
<Elch> What’s up bitchchecker?
<bitchchecker> you have a frie wal
<bitchchecker> fire wall
<Elch> maybe, i don’t know
<bitchchecker> i’m 26
<Metanot> such behaviour with 26?
<Elch> how did you find out that I have a firewall?
<Metanot> tststs this is not very nice missy
<bitchchecker> because your gay fire wall directed my turn off signal back to me
<bitchchecker> be a man turn that shit off
<Elch> cool, didn’t know this was possible.
<bitchchecker> thn my virus destroys your pc man
<Metanot> are you hacking yourselves?
<Elch> yes bitchchecker is trying to hack me
<Metanot> he bitchchecker if you’re a hacker you have to get around a firewall even i can do that
<bitchchecker> yes man i hack the elch but the sucker has a fire wall the
<Metanot> what firewall do you have?
<bitchchecker> like a girl
<Metanot> firewall is normal a normal hacker has to be able to get past it…you girl
<He> Bitch give yourself a jackson and chill you’re letting them provoce you and give those little girls new material all the time
<bitchchecker> turn the firewall off then i send you a virus [Please control your cussing]er
<Elch> Noo
<Metanot> he bitchchecker why turn it off, you should turn it off
<bitchchecker> you’re afraid
<bitchchecker> i don’t wanna hack like this if he hides like a girl behind a fire wall
<bitchchecker> elch turn off your shit wall!
<Metanot> i wanted to say something about this, do you know the definition of hacking??? if he turns of the firewall that’s an invitation and that has nothing to do with hacking
<bitchchecker> shut up
<Metanot> lol
<bitchchecker> my grandma surfs with fire wall
<bitchchecker> and you suckers think you’re cool and don’t dare going into the internet without a fire wall
<Elch> bitchchecker, a collegue showed me how to turn the firewall off. Now you can try again
<Metanot> bitchhacker can’t hack
<Black<TdV>> nice play on words
<bitchchecker> wort man
<Elch> bitchchecker: I’m still waiting for your attack!
<Metanot> how many times again he is no hacker
<bitchchecker> man do you want a virus
<bitchchecker> tell me your ip and it deletes your hard drive
<Metanot> lol ne give it up i’m a hacker myself and i know how hackers behave and i can tell you 100.00% you’re no hacker..30 -
Today we got the following (approximately, don't remember it literally) error message on a windows server:
Please turn on your computer. Updates can't be installed while your system is turned off.
Genuinely; de WUT?!10 -
1. Go to office!
2. Make coffee!!
3. Start computer.
4. Get to wo.."Windows must restart in order to install some updates".
4. 3 hours later => "Working on updates 68% n/ Don't turn off your PC. This will take a while."
4. Fuck this, I'm going home.
I miss Linux...14 -
It finally hit me the other day.
I'm working on an IoT project for a late-stage ALS patient. The setup is that he has a tablet he controls with his eye movements, and he wants to be able to control furnishings in his room without relying on anyone else.
I set up a socket connection between his tablet and the Raspberry Pi. From there it was a simple matter of using GPIO to turn a lamp or fan on or off. I did the whole thing in C, even the socket programming on the Pi.
As I was finishing up the main control of the program on the Pi I realized that I need to be more certain of this than anything I've ever done before.
If something breaks, the client may be forced to go days without being able to turn his room light on, or his fan off.
Understand he is totally trapped in his own body so it's not like he can simply turn the fan off. The nursing staff are not particularly helpful and his wife is tied up a lot with work and their two small children so she can't spend all day every day doting on him.
Think of how annoying it is when you're trying to sleep and someone turns the light on in your room; now imagine you can't turn it off yourself, and it would take you about twenty minutes to tell someone to turn it off -- that is once you get their attention, again without being able to move any part of your body except your eyes.
As programmers and devs, it's a skill to do thorough testing and iron-out all the bugs. It is an entirely different experience when your client will be depending on what you're doing to drastically improve his quality of life, by being able to control his comfort level directly without relying on others -- that is, to do the simplest of tasks that we all take for granted.
Giving this man some independence back to his life is a huge honor; however, it carries the burden of knowing that I need to be damned confident in what I am doing, and that I have designed the system to recover from any catastrophe as quickly as possible.
In case you were wondering how I did it all: The Pi launches a wrapper for the socket connection on boot.
The wrapper launches the actual socket connection in a child process, then waits for it to exit. When the socket connection exits, the wrapper analyzes the cause for the exit.
If the socket connection exited safely -- by passing a special command from the tablet to the Pi -- then the wrapper exits the main function, which allows updating the Pi. If the socket connection exited unexpectedly, then the Pi reboots automatically -- which is the fastest way to return functionality and to safeguard against any resource leaks.
The socket program itself launches its own child process, which is an executable on the Pi. The data sent by the tablet is the name of the executable on the Pi. This allows a dynamic number of programs that can be controlled from the tablet, without having to reprogram the Pi, except for loding the executable onto it. If this child of the socket program fails, it will not disrupt its parent process, which is the socket program itself.13 -
Went to go help someone with their wireless printer.
Client: my printer doesnt work.
Me: okay let me take a look at it.. (took a look at it and saw the power core wasnt plug in)
So it seem like you forgot to plug in the powercord. Do you by any chance have it with you?
Client: well it said it was a wireless printer so i didnt think i would need it. I threw it away.
Me: well yeah wireless as in you dont need a usb core to connect it to your computer you can just do it through wifi.. but it needs a power source in order to turn on..
Client: well then why did it said that its a wireless printer if it needs a cord? Thats false advertisement.
Me: Sir the printer is a wireless printer but you cant get power wireless you need a power source in order to turn on the printer.
Client: you probably dont know what youre doing.
Me: *its okay hes only 79 years old*8 -
Years ago I was an application developer at a medium sized corporation and was also responsible for support for an HR department. This occurred early one morning shortly after I arrived at work.
User: My app doesn't work.
Me: What's wrong with it?
User: I just get a blank screen.
Me: A blank screen? What happens when you hit a key?
User: Nothing.
Me: Do any apps work?
User: No, I just get a blank screen.
Me: Is your monitor on?
User: Yes, I turned it on.
This type of witty banter went on for several minutes when the answer suddenly hit me.
Me: Is your computer turned on?
User: Do I need to turn it on?
Me: Did you turn it off before you went home last night?
User: Yes.
Me: And do you normally turn it on in the morning when you come in?
User: Yes.
Me: Then why didn't you turn it on this morning when you came in?
User: I didn't know I needed to.
It was at this point I heard the programmer over the cubicle wall from me burst out laughing. He had been listening to the conversation and couldn't take it anymore.
The really sad part is that this was not an isolated incident. This kind of stuff occurred on a semi-regular basis with this individual's department.10 -
I have a new car that drives itself to a certain degree.
However if you take your hands off of the steering wheel, after 15 seconds it starts shouting at you to put your hands back on the steering wheel.
SO imagine you’re the developer.
You can recognise when someone’s hands aren’t on the wheel.
Why might that be the case? The driver is sleeping, dead or otherwise incapacitated.
Appropriate response?
1) slow the car down to a stop?
2) just turn off self steering so the car veers into oncoming traffic.
Yes you guessed correctly - it’s option 2!
For the love of fuck. Surely the better option would be to keep the thing steering but slow it to a stop.
#developeritus16 -
External company HR: We are sorry to hear you've decided to turn down our offer. You made a great impression and we thought you'd be a good fit. If you change your mind please let us know.
Me: I too am sorry you didn't tell me you were moving to the other-side of the county in two weeks, making it impossible for me to travel to and from work. I too have feelings about having done all the interviews and this being the end result. Thank you8 -
A programmer finds a frog and picks it up. To his astonishment, the frog speaks.
- "Kiss me and I'll turn into a princess."
The programmer puts it in his pocket and moves on. The ignored frog speaks again.
- "Kiss me and I'll turn into a princess. I'll even kiss you and let you hold my hand for a day."
Once again ignored, the frog ups the stakes.
- "Alright, turn me into a princess and I'll be your girlfriend for a week. You can even show me to your friends."
No response.
- "Seriously, guy, I'm hot. I'll have sex with you, I'll tell all your friends we did it and you were awesome, you can use me as a trophy to brag."
This prompted a response out of the programmer:
"Look, I'm a programmer, I don't have time for a girlfriend. But a talking frog, that's kinda cool."4 -
*me and a bored coworker
me: bored as hell dude.
him: i have a fun game in mind.
me: shoot.
him: *brings his keyboard
him: type the string you can type the fastest. we will time it. i will start.
him: *types his name
him: your turn.
me: Scanner scanner = new Scanner(System.in);
him: the fuck is wrong with you?16 -
"We care about your privacy [...]"
That's why we make it ultra inconvenient to turn off all of our advertising trackers and give you a broken list of on/off sliders that are slow as fuck. Also, why not just press the 'accept all' at the top of the page? See that big green button? Yeah green is good let's just press it and get this over with right?
Oh and that 'deny all' button? Yeah, a shame nobody actually put some programming into that thing, why not just press the green button next to it? You're only making it harder for yourself y'know...4 -
"Oh haha I found out why your PC isn't turning on, you forgot to turn on the power switch!"
*flick*
25 -
Alright, I just wanna start off by saying that I'm a huge privacy guy. I hate all kinds of data collection companies like Google/Facebook/Amazon and all that. Yet I'm forced to have a Google account for certain reasons.
But the thing that I want to say is that I often talk to people to express my concerns about privacy. And most people agree and say that "yeah sure that's some scary shit" but don't actually do much about it.
And the thing is. If you just browse through all of the options in your Google account. You can turn off and remove almost all data collection/ad serving and identification options entirely.
And yet purple complain about that Google sees what you buy and shit. Turn everything off. Get and adblocker and get noscript. The single best browser add-on out there. It's almost that easy to get at least acceptable amounts of Internet privacy.
Please, don't ever ignore the significance of in Internet privacy. And the potential issue of net neutrality. Don't be ignorant. Don't be the client.24 -
As a full time remote employee it gets lonely. Im getting ready to turn my home into a co-working space :
* Plenty of space with tables and couches
* Gigabit Internet backed by enterprise networking gear
* Lots of fresh ground coffee
* Local Kubernetes server !
* dog friendly chill space
* kid friendly play areas during the summer
* Mountain home with backyard hiking trails , wildlife lookout (wild deer live in my back yard), and fireplaces
What else would you want in your co-work space-at-my-place (TM)?12 -
My great uncle came over this weekend, and he is a big Apple fan though he owns a little hp. He asked me if I knew windows ten, to which I said yes, and then said he had a problem. His internet wouldn't connect. I came to his laptop, and he already had the wifi menu up, which said in big letters "Your WiFi is turned off." So I said to him "Your WiFi is turned off." He proclaimed his disdain for "the software" and asked if I could fix it. Instead of clicking the very obvious button that took maybe 10% of his screen, I opened command prompt as admin and entered "netsh interface show interface" followed by "netsh interface set interface Wi-Fi enabled"
I followed it up by saying I fixed a problem with his wireless card and that he should be able to use the large wifi button that appears when he opens the menu to turn it off and on again5 -
There are people in my workplace who ask "why did you set your IDE to dark theme?". How do I convince them that turning off the lights above my cubicle, lowering the screen brightness and having a dark theme is the best thing ever to concentrate?
Not to mention earbuds and a hoodie.
How do I convince them that once you turn to the Dark Side, there's no coming back?6 -
I fucking hate toxic positivity. Every fucking corporation pushes the notion that "lifE iS aWeSomE, wE cArE abOuT pEoPle" and other such bullshit, and when you point it out, they call you a bad, toxic person.
No, you don't care about your community, let alone the whole world. You're just trying to make people believe that spyware, wage slavery and being fired by a neural network is the norm. You're making money off of those who don't have a choice.
If you account all people, not just American white rich 1%, it turns out that for the vast majority of people life is either an uphill battle or straight up nightmare. People are working in shifts and have no time or emotional resource to spend on themselves. Most of the people can't afford a house or a flat. Even those who can still suffer from mental illnesses, to the point where there are more mentally challenged people than mentally healthy ones. The word "neurotypical" meaning "mentally healthy" is wrong.
You want nothing but to sell your stuff and earn more money off of Chinese and Indian factory workers who work 16-hour shifts. Maybe your life is great, but aggressively pushing this notion is a big, wet spit in the face of humanity.
Fuck you. Fuck your space rockets. Fuck your twitter accounts. Fuck your institutionalized exploitation of the weak. Fuck your products. Fuck your "open source". Fuck your "GDPR compliance". Fuck your offshores, your hedge funds and your tax evasion. Fuck your bailouts. Fuck your ships spilling tons of crude oil, fuck your factories, fuck your slave labor, fuck your anti-suicide nets in Chinese dormitories.
One day, because of you, our planet will become unlivable. You will hop into your fancy space rocket to go to that top-1% elite Mars colony. Nice job.
But I will pray for a solar flare to hit you and turn you and your fucking rocket into radioactive ash.
20 -
Me in the digital circuits class: "Bro I just got a pick up line in mind!"
Friend: "Go on.."
Me: "Girl, are you a boolean signal 1? 'Cause you turn me on 😏"
Friend: "I can't believe I'm your friend."6 -
Today I welcome a new bot into our little world.
Have you ever had the need to write "did you google it" before?
@lmgtfy will turn your comment into a lmgtfy search.
Just tag @lmgtfy and any text afterwards will be added to a search term. (Excluding emojis - because reasons)75 -
And there was I struggleling with another goddamn error. Turn to a colleage and asks for help.
He looks at me. Breaths slowly. Then says.
"Dude, Jesus is your answer".6 -
I was tasked with maintaining a handful of chemistry simulations for the web. First things first, replace these outdated links and turn them into Bootstrap buttons that work on mobile. Wait, why do all of these look so horrible on mobile? nothing's scaling properly. *looks at fucking 1,000-line CSS file* The old developers used position:absolute for absolutely EVERYTHING. And I counted one div on the entire page. This is why you don't trust chem engineers to do your "web design" #FuckDreamweaver
7 -
It was a cold monday evening.
I was alone in my room.
Many hours of coding had passed.
Windows offered me two options:
"Shutdown"
"Shutdown with update"
Anoyed by the update but thankful for the first option i decided to go with number one.
Windows started its shuting down process when all of a sudden...
"Please don't turn off your machine! Your updates are being konfigured!
It was that evening...
That one speciall evening...
I decided...
To finally...
Do nothing about this problem and cry myself to sleep...16 -
So I says to the wife, I says, “When you go to Costco tomorrow, I need a new Oral B electric toothbrush. My old one’s battery is no longer able to hold a charge.” I’m picturing her coming back with one that’s pretty similar to the one I had. You turn it on, you brush your teeth, you turn it off.
She comes back with the Oral B Pro 6000. Go on. Look it up. I’ll wait.
So this thing has about 6 modes and Bluetooth that connects you to an app that not only keeps track of how often you brush, but tracks your performance and gives you trophies if you do well at specific tasks and techniques. And there’s a coach to take you on an “oral health journey” depending on your particular goals. There’s even a mount you can buy to attach your phone to your mirror so the app can watch how you brush and give you pointers. I don’t have the mount so I got an 85% on performance because who can hold a phone pointed perfectly at your face while brushing? The final report had what might be the app dev’s attempt at a pun.
It’s 2019 and everyone is judging you. Why not your toothbrush as well?
20 -
When your classmates are such lobotomites, that they manage to fry 11 fucking IC's within a day! And I am the one who has to find and replace all the broken stuff. FFS it says 9V right there on the board NOT 12V! No, your board should not draw 1.7AMPS! This chip is getting kinda hot. What is wrong? ONE OF YOUR FUCKING PROBES IS BRIDGING ONE OF THE PINS!
Why isnt this working correctly? You adjusted the wrong fucking potentiometer!
I know I have far more experience than most of my classmates, but man, atleast try to not break things by just thinking: "I dont know dis. (Its actually written in the docs!) So imma assume it will be fine if I do dis. It wasnt fine!"
Also IF something doesnt work, DO NOT TURN UP THE VOLTAGE ON THE CIRCUIT BECAUSE IT APPEARS TO BE THE CLOSEST POSSIBLE ERROR. Which in most cases it is not!
7 -
school takes the creativity out of programming.
you want to try something new?
sorry, can't have that. functionality = priority.
school takes the choice out of programming.
- you're gonna use x language
- with x api
- in x environment
- and make it in x way
- because if you don't, your gonna fail x assignments
- because programming is about getting the job done, with no creativity
yeah fuck you too
school takes the cleverness out of programming
you get a turn left function. it turns a 'turtle' left any amount of degrees that you pass it, you have to make a turn right function to turn right 90 degrees. well, if you thought turning left -90 degrees was a good idea to make a turn right function, then fuck you. you have to turn left three timeswith the default 90 degrees instead because it's more practical/logical.
fuck that.
anyone else hate the movements to get programming into schools?14 -
On call: part 2... WHY THE HELL ARE YOU GOING TO ASK US TO STOP RESTORING *YOUR* SERVICES SO *YOUR* CUSTOMER HAS ACCESS TO *YOUR* STUFF BECAUSE YOU WANT TO SLEEP. If you call me because shits down, I'm going to fucking fix it. Idgaff if you're tired because it's been an 8 hour day, I've been working for 15 hours and I am contractually obligated to get this shit up asap and you needing your fucking beauty sleep is not a damn good reason to fuck up my contact...
(They got my boss' boss' boss' boss' boss' boss on the line who told them that but nicer -its why she gets paid more- and they still insisted. But at least they owe US more money to cover some *legal contractual mumbled jargon* it makes it better, and it's documented so they can't turn it around on us)
Will someone please send coffee? I have 2 more days of this.7 -
ALWAYS make a backup, or at least save your files every 5 minutes (or turn auto-save on).
You never know whether your parents will click the X button and clicking No in the save confirmation.6 -
I have been in this field almost 13 years and experienced multiple burnouts. But now feels different.
I miss those days when i spent all nights doing programming on junior high school.
Once you turn your hobby into a profession, it may ceases to be your hobby anymore.13 -
So this guy rated my app 1 star saying that "application is pretty good. I can do almost all of my task using this app. It would be better if you have added this* features."
*The features he mentions is nothing but the substraction of 2 variables.
Why some of the app users behave like this? This is the biggest turn off to motivate me to keep developing if your application is free of cost.
Why can't we delete those review from stores?4 -
I'm sure this has probably been posted before, but it never fails to drive me nuts, and customers never stop doing it, so:
Why do end users think "it's broken" is all they have to put into the support ticket?
It's a web app, not a goddamn pretzel.
If the turn signal on your car stops working, do you drop your car off at the mechanic, hand them the keys, and say "its broken, fix it!"?
While I'm on the topic, "I tried to do {x} and it gave an error" is better than "its broken", but still: why do you think what the actual error says would be completely irrelevant, especially when we put in the effort to give you relatively meaningful error messages?
I mean, is "there was a problem sending the email" so utterly gibberish to you that it is indistinguishable from "error: 0x000351e6"?
If so, I'm sorry, but you're too stupid to use a goddamn computer!5 -
Why computers are like men:
In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
They have a lot of data, but are still clueless.
They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they are the problem.
As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have had a better model.
Why computers are like women:
No one but the Creator understands their internal logic.
The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.
As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.7 -
Had the Windows Insider Preview for a month or so to get Ubuntu Subsystem early back when it was Insider-only.
Turns out that your license policy changes when you use Preview builds: if your PC isn't updated to a certain build by checkpoints set throughout the year, your license expires and you have to reinstall Windows. No way to recover anything already on the device. So if you get Insider Preview and shut your laptop off for too long...
Thus began a killer combo attack on my Surface Pro 3.
While trying to figure out what was going on and loading up a recovery on a flash drive, the Surface Pro 3 BIOS was sitting idle behind me. On 100% CPU. The only reason I think this is that by the time I noticed the insane fan noise, the screen was hot enough to burn my finger as I tried to turn it off. The heat sensor triggered it to shut off before I could, though.
That heat sensor, however, won't turn it off if it's busy installing Windows, supposedly to keep anything from getting hopelessly corrupted. What followed we're 3 hours of fan whirring from a slab of metal hot enough to cook an egg with.
Windows is back and working. The battery indicator, however, melted during reinstallation. And the battery lasts an hour, max. Thankfully I'm not out of a tablet, but it seems to me that W10 is becoming more and more like malware, just waiting for you to activate one of it's delightful payloads.4 -
Scammer calls claiming to be windows security expert.
Them: "sir, your windows computer is sending error code. Please turn it on so I cam Fix it. "
Me: "windows? I have a mac."
Them: "um.... " *hangs up*
Me: gotcha3 -
when you wake up saturday noon just to see your phone having 10 missed calls from the same unrecognized number, dial back and find it to be a mad client,
complaining about some graphic issues on a site you have nothing to do with.
checking the site; there is nothing wrong so you tell him to clear his browser cache.
he gets mad shouting a silly programmer shall not tell him what to do with his computer and its the site, not his browser.
i ask him if there is the same issue with another browser or computer..
he giggles a little then turn silent..
2mins or so later, he says: i'm gonna let your boss know about this then hangs up..2 -
Client : hey why does your app minimize once I receive a call? Fix this ASAP! Also why does it show *that*? I have not turned anything on!
Me : Sorry, not possible (explains), you might want to contact Google (for the lolz). Also, the feature is shown by default, you can turn it off via Menu - Settings - Navigation - xxx.
Client : Can you make the incoming call popup smaller when using your app?
Me : Unfortunately no, that's not something I can do. Contact LG.
Client : I have been to Menu - Settings - Map - XXX and the feature is still shown, why does your software not work? Also *this and that* is not shown anymore!
Me : You turned off the wrong thing... *jumps out of the window* *contemplates life* *cries* *dies* -
When the client asks why you billed them for something that was supposedlly your fault and takes a defense when you turn around with the emails and documentation to support that the code is working like it should and was requested by them... Awkward silence... And they still come back with well could you knock off half the hours. Client==fired
Side note.......have been having issues with this clent for a year so it was their time coming.1 -
I completwly hate windows. Tomorrow I've got an exam, I wanted to play for an hour before I go to sleep to relax. Boot into windows half an hour early because I knew it would fuck up somehow (I'm usually on linux, windows is there only for games). Graphics card driver isn't working anymore (AMD), uninstall with their tool, restart. And now windows goes like "FUCK YOU!!! YOU ARE NOT PLAYING SHIT TODAY YOU SAD FUCK!" in the form of "Getting windows ready for you, please don't turn off your computer" for the past 2 hours. I just wanted to play a game and now I'm so fuckin triggered by this non-sense of an OS, how can someone make something so fuckin shit5
-
Father: What is this? *hands me a box*
Me: 😯 *opens box*
The contents of the box: a white cube about an inch on each side, with a speaker on one side, a button on the other and three small holes.
Comes with a manual (square inch piece of plastic with a drawing) that shows you what the button does (turn it on, duh) and some indications as to what the various holes do.
Me: 😶 I have no clue... Maybe it's for taking calls? (though speaker mode does exist peeps)
Father: 😑What do you mean you don't know... Don't you know about stuff like this?
I love when my family assumes I am all knowing when it comes to anything running on electricity... Guys, just because I program I am not a psychic and am not better suited to fix your printer or fix your phone screens.12 -
Social media censorship is such a fucked up shithole of bullshit.
Ig thot models post their asses and tits on there about twice a week and it's not a big problem at all. Just turn a blind eye to that.
But God forbid you post something that is vaguely mean or anything political that isn't center to left, and that bitch is getting deleted for bullying or harassment.
I commented on this post and basically just said "your mom sounds like a bitch" but that got deleted for harassment. Is that really what harassment is? Well holy fuck I harass my friends like a few dozen times a day so I should probably get arrested.
Gotta love having speech censored under the umbrella of "pReVeNtiNg BuLlYiNg".
20 -
How to become a hacker😎
1.Go to the store get a black hoodie, wear it and go infront of the PC.
2.Turn on the PC with WINDOWS😂
3.Change cmd font colour to green.
4.Type the following code in cmd.
ping 192.168.1.1 -c 9999999
5.OK now do that in again and again in 2-3 terminals.Now your desktop is full with black and green😋.
5.Take some pics of it and upload stories😍.
6.OK now your a HACKER😎10 -
Stewart doing his routine security brief:
"Please put your phone on airplane mode.
If you own a Galaxy Note 7, please turn it off."
*Half of passengers cracked up*3 -
everyone was doing clients.. so it was my turn.
watchRant is out!!!
devRant client for your watch, for the ones who need a higher dose of devRant!
Features: rant feed (top/recent), rant, comments, profile (about/.../avatar/rants), download images
Github: https://github.com/joewilliams007/...
Works with wear-os minSdk 28
(apk available on github, can be sideloaded by using easy fire tools android app, or built by urself)
21 -
THEM: "I got a chrome thing that says, 'Don't turn off your computer. Someone is trying to hack into your computer.' ...and it had some lady's voice saying, 'Error. Someone is hacking into your computer.' Should I click anything?"
ME: "No. I'll be right there...what did you click?"
THEM: "It was some Facebook quiz about 'Which Disney movie are you?'"
ME:
5 -
FUCKING PEOPLE THAT USE PUBLIC TRANSPORT! THIS SHIT RANT IS FOR YOU CUNTS!
I mean, IF YOU ARE FUCKING DEAF DONT USE FUCKING EARPHONES AND TURN THE FUCKING VOLUME UP SO HIGH THAT EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOUR SHITTY
Dubstep, EDM, K-Pop OR ANY OTHER FUCKING MUSIC! thank you AND FUCK OFF!
And also IF YOU WANT TO GET ON THE FUCKING BUS, MAKE ROOM FOR PEOPLE TO GET OUT FIRST! I mean, the entrance STAYS FUCKING OPEN! AND FUCKING OTHER PEOPLE ALSO HAVE TO LEAVE THE FUCKING BUS FIRST!
I LEARNED THAT IN FUCKING KINDERGARTEN!12 -
You know what, fuck microshit to fuck town and back again.
What part of disabling "allow the computer to turn of this device to save power"
DO YOU NOT FUCKIJG UNDERSTAND!
MY FUCKING USB'S ARE GOING FUCKING MENTAL SWITCHING ON AND OFF LIKE A DRUNKEN HOBO YOU COCK FUCKS.
my week is a complete and utter shit of a week as it is, I don't need this bullshit on top of it too.
#Microsoft, fix your fucking shit already!4 -
How can you defend your ugly unstructured mess of a PR, when every spit-droplet infused spray of words from your mouth is full of syntax errors?
How can you call yourself a developer without being aware of basic logic? I ain't got no tolerance for double negations, not not true is just true, you doltish twat.
WHEN YOU TALK THERE IS A CLOUD OF RED SQUIGGLY LINES IN THE AIR FLOATING AROUND YOUR HEAD.
I mean what the fuck is up with eggcetera? Why are you just swapping out letters? What has the little ligature t in & ever done to you? Do I have to fucking replace & with 🥚 so your word diarrhea makes sense again?
NO. JUST PLEASE... STOP TALKING. YOU'RE RAPING LANGUAGE, AND IT WAS ALREADY BEATEN DEAD.
Unlike me, you have a degree in computer science... but how, how the fuck did you pass? How did neither your tongue nor code get stuck in a linter?
AND YOUR RESPONSE IS STILL: "YOU DON'T NEED TO LEARN WHEN YOU'RE FINISHED WITH SCHOOL" ... "WHAT DOES IT MATTER, IT WORKS, RIGHT?"
NO, IT'S NOT RIGHT.
You're lucky I love refactoring.
I'll start with a medical grade steel scalpel and a long sharp hook. Maybe I can clean up this brain a little. See if the tests turn green if I cut some of this gray matter away... plenty of unreachable statements, so many unnecessary loops...
Might have to start from scratch.8 -
So my boss told be about this game, try it out the next time you have an office party with other developers. It goes like this... You all sit around a table with shots ready to drink at your disposal, each person takes a turn and must simply say a noun, it can be anything. The next person must then Google the noun + '.js' added to the end, if the library exists, that person must drink a shot. Continue until everyone is sufficiently in a vegetated state. Good luck!4
-
>>>> Followed link to a post
* Do you Accept Cookies?: Yes
* Our customer supports online: Okay, I know
* Subscribe to Newsletters?: Click Click Accept
* Website wants to turn on Notification?: Okay
* Seen Our New Product?: No, not today
* We require you to be over 18?: Yes, I am
* We value your privacy?: I Agree
* Looks like you're using ad-Blocker?: Turn Off
* Don't forget to follow us on...: Okay!!! I get it already, just show me the f*cking post!
* What next
***** 1 million ads appear around a single post broken to bits having (1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9 next>>) *****
Just wondering who invented this money making strategy.8 -
" this page uses cookies"
"We've updated our privacy policy"
*30 sec full screen ad* OR "please turn off your adblocker and refresh"
"Would you like to take a survey?"
"Click to read more"
"You've reached your free articles for the month. Please subscribe!"
Jesus fucking Christ! Is it such a sin to read articles in peace? How does anybody use your shitty site. How does anybody PAY for your shitty site?! Fuck your articles. Why do companies think this is a good model?!5 -
Why computers are like men:
1. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
2. They have a lot of data, but are still clueless.
3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they are the problem.
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have had a better model.
Why computers are like women:
1. No one but the Creator understands their internal logic.
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
3. Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.1 -
I swear...in enterprise...doing things right is almost pointless. First off they punish you for it by insisting you use shitty outdated libraries and resources, making every request painful and a week long, and telling you "don't use any design patterns or good practices because the over seas third party people we hired won't understand it".
And ultimately those third party people are going to get a hold of your code and turn it to shit. So really...other than having pride and standards...just pile more shit on top of the other shit because it will all be shit soon enough.3 -
So I dropped an FYI via slack to a colleague and they immediately replied!
How dare they! They are on vacation!
Turn off your slack, disable your notification, don't check your mails.
Your work shouldn't have any impact on how you spend your vacation. We will manage.5 -
That moment when you had a good weekend and it is Monday again.
You log in to your work PC and see 15 emails... There goes my Monday again.
And 12 of those turn out to be congratulations on the recent release 😥3 -
Summer is coming, and i suppose all of you will buy a new barbecue to cook some meat, but i have another economic alternative.
How to make a homemade bbq:
1) Take an old laptop
2) Turn it on
3) Install Android studio (also works with intellij)
4) Add a lot of gradle (or maven) depencies
5) Code something cool (or not)
6) Build and compile it
7) Now you can put your meat on your laptop
8) Enjoy your meal13 -
I'm all for algo feeds, but FOR FUCK SAKES INSTAGRAM LET ME TURN YOUR ALGO OFF. It's shittier than a sewer full of shit.
1 -
Dear Laptop manufacturers,
Why the FUCK would you place the power button where the 'Delete' should be? Just so that you accidentally can turn off your pc while typing? Fuck you.
If anyone know a good laptop that is thin and light, 14" and has the power button outside of the keyboard area, please tell me.12 -
"No We Will Not Code for Free"
(Parody of the "Cheers" theme)
We're underpaid, clients' scope today takes everything we got.
You turn to us with all your troubles cause "companies charge a lot."
You want our work but you won't pay.
No we will not code for free.
You are not exempt from our fee.
If you want a free site, build it yourself. We're not your coding slaves.
We won't build your crap no matter how much you plea.
"Paying us back" don't mean a thing, money talks, bullshit walks.
If you want a cheap site then go to Geocities.2 -
Windows: Would you like me to give all your data to MS or somewhat less data?
Me: Well .. I guess .. I'll choose the Basic option..
Windows: Here is a fun fact .. I'll send all the data regardless of your choice :)
This is what's happening in the background, I think. I mean there isn't even a phuqing option to turn this thing off.
19 -
Things I learnt by attending meetings from home:
* Wear pants even if no one can see them
* After meeting is done, turn off your computer to ensure it has ended.
* Mute and screen share is not reliable
* Tell your family members that you will have a meeting so they do not do anything weird.4 -
When you turn up to work and realise you forgot your headphones so you gotta try and concentrate while overhearing every conversation in the office.4
-
Dev pickup lines:
Hey girl, I may not know your namespace but if you let me cin it'll turn you cout😉
Comment your best10 -
Who did you guys inherit your programming skills from?
Neither of my parents are skilled with computers, and my dad can barely turn them on. My grandfather was an IBM programmer, but he died before I was ever interested in computers. While he didn't have time to physically get me interested in them, I think that's how it got into my blood.24 -
What is it with these companies and mandatory updates?
Microsoft with windows 10. Sorry your doing work? Nah, we've decided your going to update now! Sorry, we based our default update time on people not working late at night.
Philips hue. Wanna turn on your lights? Sorry, mandatory firmware update. You'd better install that before being able to see.
YouTube app on ps4. No sorry, can't open this, mandatory 80mb update.
FUCK SAKE PEOPLE.8 -
Who remembers time when you actually had to press power button in order to turn your computer off?
Seen some YouTube video the other day with kids nowadays told to work on an old computer with I think win95 and no one figured out what the cryptic "You can now turn your computer off" meant :-)2 -
Agile is cool but management likes to screw it up by trying to micromanage. This usually starts but making an inexperienced pm your scrum master. They control all meetings and turn daily standup to a 30 minute interrogation session.1
-
*looks for some reviews of a dentist*
Yelp: ah yes we have that.
*Enters Yelp site*
"Oh noes, you have JavaScript disabled! You should enable it because it can make websites really cool (why does this seem like a front-end wank), gives you compliments when you had a bad day (fuck you Yelp), can save the world from tragedy on its own (does savetheworld.js exist yet?). But that you'll never realize anymore. Because YOU disabled JavaScript, filthy piece of shit you are. So enable JavaScript so that we can have so much more fun!"
Ah, not providing any content that I visited your shitty site for, guilt-tripping me into enabling JavaScript for your dribble, and on top of that saying that we'll have fun when I whitelist you. Fun ey.. you know what'd be fun Yelp? For me to go there and shove my dick into every one of your front-end and marketing cunts' faces until they turn blue. Now THAT would be a lot of fun!!!2 -
From Sarah Connor Chronicles, 2008: "They used to think that 12 nanometer scale was impossible. The circuits are so tiny, you're all but in the quantum realm. It's the most sophisticated processor on earth. If you could take your memories, your consciousness, everything that makes you a person, turn it into pure data, and download it onto a machine, that chip could run it."
I'm watching the DVD on a quadcore Ryzen APU that is built in 12nm, and it was already outdated when I bought it last year. I guess I better download myself to my laptop because that's a 7nm Ryzen.14 -
TIL how to mess with your neighbors who steal your wifi.
Simple, just turn everything they request upside down.
http://ex-parrot.com/~pete/...5 -
Let's play "Count the operating systems in my household"! I'll start:
- Windows 10 Pro on 1tb drive in desktop
- Windows 10 Enterprise VM on desktop
- Ubuntu 18 VM on desktop
- Ubuntu WSL on desktop
- Ubuntu 18 on seconds drive in desktop
- Manjaro on Cheap laptop
- Manjaro on old, expensive laptop
- Windows 10 Pro on new expensive laptop
- Windows 10 Enterprise VM on new expensive laptop
Just realized I have no dual booters :o17 -
This moment when you are laying in your bed trying to turn off the lights and the uncloseable firmware update window forces you to update your lights before be able to turn them off.
5 -
Starting to realize I turn into AlexDeLarge when I play a few video games. (I'm not a hardcore gamer, just play the occasional fps or sports games.)
I caught myself yelling "I hope your fucking family falls into a pit of aids infected blood and they fucking drown in it you camping piece of shit" while I was playing PUBG today. Oops lol1 -
Don't panic and break up your big problem into smaller problems and solve them in a logical cadence.
Also, when you go home at night...turn off man. If you take your work home with you, you will go mental.1 -
Gotta love it when you turn down a recruiter and they ask you if you know any friends who might be interested.
"Potentially, what's my commission if I do your job for you?!"
🤨1 -
Fucking spotify client is so bad.
Sometimes I want to listen to some music while coding in the train. Turn on "offline mode" and go to "artists". Only one fucking song of soad. I go to "songs" and suddenly 10 songs of soad.I go to playlists and 40 more songs.
Get your fucking shit together. If you have 50 songs downloaded in some playlist you can display them in "songs" and "artists" too you pile of shit -
Yes LinkedIn, the middle of a pandemic is the perfect time to make a career move.
Turn off your marketing campaigns assholes!
4 -
When you realize you had sharpening enabled in your monitor settings and you turn it off and shit just looks so much better...
I mean this is a necessary setting when using VGA but this monitor is connected via DVI!
Also some people just do not seem to notice this and leave this enabled on their screens.
4 -
YOU. If you can't be arsed to change the default wallpaper, the terminal/gtk theme on a fucking laptop you use everyday, turn off Intel graphics screen rotation shortcuts, move the taskbar somewhere, install a Vue.js/Augury (Angular tool) Chrome plugin so you can actually debug stuff, Git for Windows or even this fucking trash of a player that is VLC, comb your hair the other way for once in your fucking lifetime if you have it, buy a different shirt than the same one you already have, fucking anything at all - fuck you!
BTW Don't be surprised when I don't take your fucking advice about the layout of the site I'm working on.
Also I secretly FUCKING HATE YOU just because.
Nothing personal kiddo. Except it is.
Fucking go out there and make the world around more suited to your tastes, every fucking human has them! Just change the fucking wallpaper, so I'll know you have at least a little bit of fucking personality in you! Slap a pic of some hi-rez tits on that screen! ANYTHING AT ALL.
Whew. That's been brewing in me for a long time.
A motivational doggo for you lads.
3 -
For everyone wishing us happy new year bs here: go fuck yourself, I hope your year will turn worse than the previous11
-
NO YOU PIECE OF FUCK APP I DO NOT WANT TO TURN ON YOUR FUCKING NOTIFICATIONS SO I WILL IMMEDIATELY GET YOUR SUPPOSEDLY AMAZING FEATURE STOP FUCKING ASKING.2
-
Overwhelmed by a shitty codebase? Use the boy scout rule and leave the code you're editing a little better than you found it.
Worked wonders for me when I realized I could spend literal months refactoring and desperately needed a systematic approach.
Little by little that rotting house of cards will turn into something okay. It's a nice feeling looking back after a couple of months and see what you've done to make things better.
Also, make sure to remember the cost of wrestling with hurried legacy solutions in your estimates as well. Just adjust the level of bluntness depending on your work environment: admitting that things can/need to be improved can be unpleasant for some to hear even though it's true.5 -
So, giving a talk soon and marketing wanted to see the slides.
Comments come back. On every slide that is purely visual they've suggested I add a title and a para or two of text.
Fuck you and your fucking slideuments. If you want them to read the material send them a memo and save me the fucking trip.
Or even better, turn up yourselves and read lists of bulletpoints off the screen for 30 mins while I sit in hotel hot-tub with a cocktail.
I hate the inanity of corporate life.
Next time I'm going to send you a blank slide and live draw my diagrams. See how you like that, arseholes.4 -
Have IR in your smartphone? You must try this.
Go to the nearest bar or a place where there is a TV show/match going on. Turn the TV off and run :D. (Order pasta run fasta)8 -
Do not wave you phone around during a video interview. Don't turn it upside down. Don't put keep your hand near it -- I am not interested in your finger nails. Don't pace around. Don't look like a YouTuber that has no idea what they are doing on a video conference.
That is all.2 -
Apple: this AppleID has been locked for security reasons.
User: Sign Out
Apple: Enter the Apple ID password to turn off Find My iPhone.
User: Turn Off
Apple: You must enter both your Apple ID and password.
User: OK
Apple, please stop bugging me, all I need is to test my websites on Safari occasionally because some customers prefer to use iPhone. Just don't bother me with your Apple ID crap5 -
Programming for an app with really bad UX is like acting in a movie with a terrible script.
You have to put your heart and souls into what you’re doing. But ultimately the final product will turn out bad due to forces outside of your own control.
There is no UX designer at my start up and our app looks like $hit.7 -
Observation
Usually happens when hitting some heavy development after waking up to an idea at 5am and rushing in to the office to make it happen. Then you write for hours straight refilling some coffee once in a while.
At some point you start finding other people at the coffee station and the smalltalk starts. For some reason I can't turn my brain into social mode. Someone asks me stuff like "How was your weekend?" And the answer can be anything between "I like turtles" and some totally uninhibited and unintended truth in the TIM category.
Flow is strong but it totally fucks up my social capabilities. It also makes me happy =D4 -
What’s the most nonsensical habit that your non-tech-savvy friends or family have with computers or electronic devices?
Here’s mine: when my parents first got iPhones, they were deathly afraid of going over their data plan limit, so they would go into Settings and turn cellular data off whenever they weren’t actively using the phone...8 -
How do you deal with a problem that feels completely over your head? I want to develop side projects but sometimes I have trouble starting/continuing when I feel like I can’t find a solution after hours of research.
Who/where do you turn to to find solutions when you run into this problem? I feel like I lose determination when I run into a wall I can’t get around.12 -
F*cking wifi driver on acer aspire. Suddenly the WiFi stops working, no way to turn it back on. Alright I'll restart if that helps your pedantic ass. Fucking hangs in restart and then crashes.... THIS IS THE SECOND TIME WITH THE LATEST DRIVERS! DID YOU JUST JERK OFF ON THE SOURCECODE OF YOUR DRIVER OR DID YOU ACTUALLY FIX THE BLOODY THING.
2 -
The bathroom in the building where I sometimes VPN from installed motion activated lights. The sensor does not “see” inside the stalls. Unless someone else enters the room you have about five minutes to perform all acts or the lights will turn off.
Then you are left with options:
1) finish all paperwork in the dark
2) finish all paperwork with your phone’s flashlight.
3) Open the stall door and wave to enable the light.8 -
Every day in Support....
Turn your pc off and on please...
Is the cable plugged in....
Is this really your pc... -
the feeling when you have typed up ans signed a resignation letter and still need to turn it in and "the talk" with your boss.
made all the better by the fact that we are opening a new location in the time span of the 2 weeks notice I'm about to give.
oh and the boss will be going on vacation just after that.2 -
When the PO asks for a last second code change right before the sprint review, and now it's your turn to demo
1 -
Quick Tutorial: How to find a missing bug.
0) Wake up & have breakfast
1) Goto work
2) Do your job until the end of the working day
3) Make a backup
4) Shutdown your PC
5) Stand up
6) Go to the office door
7) Grab the door
8) Now the phone rings
9) Turn and go back
10) Take the phone
11) Now you get the bug report
This is a well approved method.
It always works!3 -
fuck these websites thAT ARE GETTING SO GOD DAMN HEAVY THEY LOAD WHEN I TURN OFF THE WIFI.
literally just fuckin shut off the wifi while this one bloated, shitty website loading aND THE WEBSITE DISPLAYED. of course, the gigabytes of javascript haven't loaded so the buttons weren't functional, bUT AT LEAST I COULD SEE THE CONTENT INSTEAD OF A WHITE SCREEN.
if ur gonna have a shitload of assets at least make your websites be viewable while the page is loading13 -
It's a Friday morning I'm tired as hell after a hard week. trying to plough through all my work earphones in, music really loud. Sales guy in the office tries to talk to me i didn't hear him as my earphones were in he then says "you need to turn your music down or turn it off if you can't hear us" he said this in this serious tone. *music gets louder* to drown his noise out.3
-
No, stop playing that shit, for fuck sakes.
No one want's to listen to your music with you, especially not that hillbilly crap you are listening to right now.
I'm trying to fucking concentrate. Time to stop, turn it off. You fucking twat.2 -
>Why is chrome making my computer turn off all of a sudden?
<Boss, you have a quite old iMac with fully updated chrome, which is known to eat RAM. PLus, you've been using that computer as a donkey to do video editing, even tho it's not made for that (looking at the stats), and you have your home folder on an external hard drive, plus like 10 other apps always active, including premiere, illustrator, airmail (with 12k emails always loaded smh), slack on 2 workspaces and at LEAST 12 chrome tabs on some of the heaviest websites
>Mmh... yeah you're right, I'm kinda asking for it2 -
When you forget to turn off your passwordless personal hotspot on your iPhone and it says it has 1 connection.
1 -
How many hours do you put in daily at your day job? Do you go home and work on personal projects? How much time do you put into that? Are you married? Do you have children?
I'll go first:
- 8
- sometimes, probably about 1 hour a day.
- yes
- 3 kids
Your turn!27 -
Cat-warming solution when the power goes out
Problem: Your power goes out in the middle of winter. Your cat is cold and will not leave you alone. You are her only source of heat.
Step 1: Find battery-powered laptop.
Step 2: Power on laptop and turn off sleep/hibernation in the settings.
Step 3: Open up 5 instances of Minecraft and load a single-player world in each.
Step 4: Close laptop and flip it upside down
Step 5: Place cat on computer above the fan. Cat will begin to purr.
(Yes this works)2 -
Everything works fine until your manager starts looking at your code and all of a sudden your screen starts interacting with your manager- "Here is a bug there is a bug and you have got a lazy developer who ignores me like a dumb."
And I am here like wtf ... Wasn't it working fine earlier...
Manager in anger... Me in shock and code is totally in revenge mode...
Oh god... turn this Monday back to Sunday!!!
Scary Monday story begins.... -
Me: Professor could you please see my code i have a doubt about it.
Professor: Wait a second.
In the mean time my HP laptop that was from 2006, and this story happen 2 years ago, overheated and shutdown. Remember that i was coding in it.
Professor: Ok let's see the code.
Me: I can't show the code now since my pc overheated and shutdown, and now i have to wait him to cooldown to turn it off.
Professor: Your laptop remember when i was a kid and we had thoose old TV where we had to wait for it to heat before we could see any image.
Well thanks HP for your old laptops that heated more than my hoven.4 -
I don’t remember the first experience as I was a very small child, but I remember a very defining one: picture a 4yo just casually turning on the computer and playing a game.
My mother and sister find me out and panic because “oh no, turning it off it’s hard how will we do? Your father is working and can’t turn it off!”
Now picture the 4 yo saying “it’s easy, you just do this”, followed by him closing the game, launching the bash command to close the computer and going away.
I must have been so creepy in their eyes 😂2 -
Ey! Who of you uses that damn timer library (dunno the name) in your apps where you set on left side the hour and on right side the minutes.
AND AFTER YOU OVERSCROLLED THE 00-MINUTE AGAIN YOU HAVE TO TURN THE HOUR BACK!!!!
I hate you :D2 -
So my Dell laptop has been freezing for a couple of weeks.
I thought it was the Slack desktop app that was causing it, so I uninstalled it. Still froze.
So I did a whole bunch of things on it to try to fix it, even restarting Windows 10. Still froze.
Then I thought it was the Dropbox app that was causing it, so I disabled it from starting up when I turn on the laptop. For a while, the laptop didn't freeze.
Then my desktop computer started freezing too from time to time. I was like, "WTF!"
It could be the Windows Update that's causing it, because there was an update going on around the time the freeze-ups happened. Now my laptop is on the "Getting Windows ready, Don't turn off your computer" screen after hard-booting it.4 -
Music is not always a foreground activity.
Spotify... why don't you have a volume slider specifically for your output on my phone..?
Why do I need to turn ALL non-call volume down to just turn the music down.
Sometimes I want to play games with music but I don't want the music to be totally loud.
Sometimes I wanna do WHATEVER at full volume with some music in the background.
But I just... can't
What the fuck.4 -
That feeling when you hace your first talk with new lead QA, all the way from Microsoft:
QA (sitting at her new desk & PC): "How do I get the log in screen?"
Me (trying to be helpful): "Have you checked the machine is on?"
<QA checks>
QA: "How do I turn it on?"5 -
This pisses me off soooo fucking much.
"We're sowwy but we'll have to ask you to turn off your pretty little adblocker! We can't keep making money off of you by showing you stuff you don't want to see if you don't turn off your adblocker! But it's okay, who doesn't use an adblocker? Just turn it off for our site pleeeease"
Quit it with the quasi-friendly bullshit. If it's okay, why don't you fuck off and let me block whatever I want to block? It's ridiculous how many hoops I have to jump through just so I don't have to see ads on the internet. Even pi-hole doesn't help with this anymore. Now I need an Ad Blocker Blocker Blocker just so I don't have to wade through heaps of obnoxious ads every time I visit a page. It's so goddamn stupid.
10 -
If any lecturer in my department discovers you are very fast in typing, the lecturer will turn you to a typing slave.
Lecturer: Just type, I will give you something
( 2 weeks later nothing )
Lecturer sees you in class, he ignores you.
(After graduation)
Lecturer sees you
Lecturer: Congratulations Mr. ***. The department is going to miss your fast typing, but i might call you on occasions to type for me. Will you come
Me: Sure Sir
MY MIND: STUPID FUCKING OLD FAG ASSHOLE, I HOPE YOU DIE A SORROWFUL DEATH, GREEDY FUCKING BASTARDS, AM NOT YOUR SLAVE, I WILL BLACKLIST YOUR NUMBER. BASTARD3 -
I read books on programming. The thing I most like about programming books is that they allow you to learn about topics that you would have never have thought to explore. When people look things up online, they tend to search very specific things, most times actual code. The internet is an incredible source for developers, don't get me wrong. But books allow you to learn about programming in a conceptual way which in turn will make learning new languages easier and allow your understanding of the languages you already know to be deeper.
-
I was flash developer once, it was great when macromedia was around, then adobe acquired them, now flash is gone.
Years are passing and most of industry is the same as always. Trying to drag you into this rat race of learning new amazing technologies, amazing projects that are actually doing same job as 50 years ago but using more memory and cpu cycles. Because all has it’s roots in algorithms from previous centuries.
So youngsters loose your best life time, be innovative by doing nothing more then copy paste from stackoverflow and duck typing shitty code.
Be a slave and sit in the amazing office, that has everything but not your real life that meanwhile is sucked by corporate squeezer till your last breath.
Be piece of shit that can be kicked around.
Watch youtube, facebook, instagram or whatever social network that shows you pictures that are fooling your mind that you’re someone special and you need this stuff.
Then be ready to suck some dicks to earn money and buy stuff you don’t need, live where you don’t want and do what you don’t like. You piece of shit.
Well that’s what disappoints me from my tech stack.
Now chill out, turn off your electronic gadgets, go out and enjoy real world.1 -
So, you have some coffee, make up your mind, and sit down to begin the project you need to submit the next day.
You fire up the machine and bam! Windows takes it's April update - "Do not turn off your PC", and a fucking rotation of evil dots on the screen for eternity.
And it goes on and on, on and on, till you have lost all mood for work.3 -
That feeling when you are browsing a job offer and they claim they use "pure PHP".
LOL nope. I won't maintain your custom framework created by five different freelancers over the past few years and turn into something that does scream Frankenstein.
At least state that it uses composer, symfony2 components or some other microframework. I have yet to see an application that truly requires your own framework. And even when you do, base it on silex / symfony2 components. http://symfony.com/doc/current/...1 -
It's a really interesting discussion, when your boss tells you that it's a perfectly fine idea to directly use a Firebase DB from an Angular web app by storing the Admin Auth Token in a variable in JS.
Thank the spaghetti monster, I was able to argue against it and use the already partially implemented RESTful API with the already used auth.
He basically wanted to save time and omit extra login routes.
It's OK to save time and not implement $randomFeatures.
BUT DON'T FUCKING TRY TO SAVE TIME ON SECURITY!
If it wasn't for me, this web app would turn into a bigger gaping (security) asshole than Sasha Grey's...6 -
(one day before the phone interview)
Them: Please call to us at (TIME) to (PHONENUMBER)
Me: Ok
(interview day)
--[[CHORUS START]]--
Me: (calls to the number at (TIME))
Phone: Your call has been forwarded to automatic voice message system. (PHONENUMBER) is not availible. After tone please leave message. When you are finish the recording you may hang up or press 1 for more option, please leave message now.
Me: (deep breath, patiently waits 5 mins.)
--[[CHORUS END]]--
--[[CHORUS]]--
WHY DO YOU MAKE ME CALL YOU WHEN YOU TURN OFF THE PHONE / TALK WITH SOMEONE ELSE????
IF YOU DON'T LIKE ME, JUST DON'T MAKE ME CALL YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
--> Could not reach them for 3 days, gave up -
Honestly now that I have a job and I work with good people, being on devrant anymore just ruins my day. I love it when people rant about their jobs and code, and I love it when people share cool stuff on here. But the childish and toxic behavior leaves such a sour taste in my mouth. I hope I see you assholes (you know who you are) on the street so I can smack you, and you deserve every bit of what's coming to you. I hope you can turn your life around and actually help the world one day. Til then, I'm going to enjoy my life, because my life is fucking amazing. bye!2
-
Your UI doesn't render as expected...
You blame RecyclerView...
You blame ConstraintsLayout...
You even blame f**king ImageView...
Turn out the culprit was VectorDrawable...
You try to blame VectorDrawable but your inner self knows that it's your lack of proper knowledge of VectorDrawable....
You feel sad...
You push your code to git and go to sleep.1 -
When your boss turn on the auto-update for WordPress and then one day he is complaining about the White Screen Of Death of the website.2
-
When you know more programming language than your teacher... but not because you're good, just because he sucks!
Reminds me of this question: it only happens once in a while or you had you guys experienced same feelling? How did you do to turn around that in your college?
2 -
Game development is a nightmare when your first starting out because you tend to neglect on keeping a small book on event notes.
Such as which event triggers what, and what events to turn off when the player starts the game.
You tend to get events that either don't start when player is far into game because you forgot to turn the event trigger on for something much for earlier in the game.
Live and Learn2 -
Windows 10 why you turn on my PC at night and then doing your restart for update AND AFTER THAT YOU CANT HIBERNATE PC LIKE IT WAS? YOU DUMBASS IM SLEEPING RIGHT NEXT TO THAT BEAST. I WANT SILENCE. Linux users pls rant with me. Thank you devrant, now I can go to sleep after sharing my frustration.9
-
When you try and replace the hard drive in your dev machine because the replacement you bought for someone else doesn't work but works for you. You go to turn the computer back on but nothing comes on screen........
-
This is going to be fun. We are switching our phone system to use Zoom and the turn on date is sometime in October (couple of weeks away). I have a feature I'm working on (automated phone calls) that the salesman said was fully functional (jump through a hoop, stand on your head, turn around three times, type of functional). Tried the steps they gave me, got to #3 and there is no virtual agent API call I can find to hand off/transfer the call. Send our contact at Zoom some questions, responds "That is a feature we might put in a future product. Can't do that right now." WTF?!
Other developers are running into similar "How do we get there from here?" issues that features promised, either don't exist or don't work.
One feature in particular I'm receiving a 403 permission denied error.
K: "Feature X needs to be enabled."
Me: "It is."
<send a screenshot showing the feature enabled>
K: "Your account doesn't have permissions. Have the sysadmin elevate you authentication level."
Me: "I'm an admin"
<send a screenshot showing my admin status>
K: "I'll have to get back with you."
Its been 3 days and no update on my ticket. *sigh*3 -
A dev's worst nightmare can be summed up as this:
"Working on updates
5% Progress
Don't turn off your computer"
So much for getting some work done tonight.....5 -
As a developer you have a surreal ability to plan the future and you are able to do it even in non-IT related areas of your life. Am I right?
Then, tell me, how many times have you died in your head thinking about "I could just jump here", "if I turn right that truck will definitely crush me", "well, that structure could collapse, how to survive if it happens?". ?4 -
Dear client,
Please carefully look at the image size recommendations as it makes your images look like shit. I don't have time to get each image and resize them in Photoshop to make them look decent... I've done my job to constrain the images to make them fit in the box now it's your turn to resize them to fit them in the box correctly -
Had to turn down a job offer today because of a BUNCH of red flags in their hiring process that hinted that their corporate culture was absolute trash. HR people are trash when they do whatever they want to with your time just because you’re in need. If they had been more ethical and professional, I’d have a job and they’d have a position filled. But, no, they had to play stupid games and win stupid prizes.2
-
If you have a 13900k and you have random BSODs and application crashes, use XTU and turn down your P-Cores in Performance Per Core Turning to 54x. There is some kind of bug in the turbo boost and going past the 5.4GHZ mark just doesn't work.
I've basically built this computer twice now. I replaced the motherboard because I destroyed it, replaced the RAM because I thought I had the wrong type, and now the processor which was the actual root of all my problems.4 -
When meta-programming finally clicks and your code can make its own code, which in turn makes its own code.1
-
Saw this meme in an article the other day about why it's a bad idea to make your guru-grade devs quit.
It suddenly dawned on my that the meme pretty much summed up all the decent Devs i've worked with over the years - they generally turn coffee and beer into code.
-
after a vast number of emails, phone calls and cross-client tests with a customer, because „the light grey background of the new template magically disappeared“.... I had one final idea!
me: „could you please turn the contrast knob on your monitor?“
reaction of the customer: „OHHH.......“
🤦🏻♂️ -
I hate iOS so much. Just hit a nasty bug where "optimizer" in browser sometimes randomly replaces a function with a number. Like WTF? Was developing a webpage working on iOS too easy, so they enabled a hard mode where some of your functions may turn on you?1
-
pandas can suck my balls.
N
I
H
I'd rather roll my own.
edit: but also xgboost can suck my balls.
Treating every OBVIOUSLY continuous-valued entry as a 'category'.
All searches for this problem turn up tutorials and documentation on how to CONVERT continuous and numeric values into classes or categories.
Not a single fucking document addresses the problem of when pandas or xgboost refuses to treat numeric inputs as numerics and insists on pushing an error that your data is categorical when every fucking inspection shows the type as numeric.9 -
Thanks for nothing, Insomnia REST. Everyone using it beware: turn off auto update, version 8.0 will look you out of your projects unless you create an account with them.
Get fucked.4 -
I learnt Swift in 2016. 2017 has to be the year I turn Swift pro.
Happy new year to all and may your code come to life and thrive. -
My reasoning is stupid, I just think it's cute in a pimp my ride kind of way. I heard you like getting colossally pounded in the fucking ass, so we put a virtual machine inside your compiler so you can use your binaries while you compile your binaries.
But there is a practical angle to it, too. It's state, structures and execution within the code itself -- that is, in a sense, generators "embedded" within the source, but without any kind of special syntax.
Rather, the code is all the same, and I'd have the option to make calls at compile time: the output of these calls could, in turn, be part of the resulting binary or processed by further calls.
It'd greenlight the wildest fuckery in the jungle, because *that* is the true and ultimate abstraction: programs that write other programs with minimal human intervention. But is my (still) theoretical, cheap ass two-dollar prototype approach held together with clown jizz and prayers better than the endless cumloads worth of corporate investment that's dumped and pumped into generative AI on a daily basis?
Well... **lights cigarette**
That's what we're about to find out, mother fuckers.1 -
So a minute ago I deleted all my Spotify songs, because Spotify now calls them Favourites instead of just Songs. Fucking morons. I thought I had loads of mediocre music in my favourites, and because I don't use favourites, I thought: let me just remove all songs from it so I can start over.
Turns out: that's all the songs I've ever added to Spotify.
Once I realised what I had done, I quickly turned off internet to see if it hadn't synced yet, but of course: FML, it was published. I quickly turned off internet on my phone and opened Spotify: gone already (the bastard was open) before I could turn internet off.
So, my last hope: turn off internet at home, fire up my old Windows PC, open Spotify, put all songs in a playlist, turn on internet, let it sync (au revoir songs or 'favourites', hello new playlist), restore all the things!
Luckily, I booted that old PC (and Spotify boots automatically in the background) last week, so it should have all my songs (I didn't add any this week). I'll let you know if it worked.
And heads up: your songs are now gone, you now have 'favourites'. 🤦🏽♂️🤦🏽♂️🤦🏽♂️🤦🏽♂️
Fuck you, UX ruiners at Spotifuck!9 -
Windows bluetooth audio is nigh unusable.
It is not unrealistic to believe that someone may walk out of range of their bluetooth connection, causing the computer to lose connection with the device. But for Windows, it's as if I had committed an act of negligent malice. I sometimes have to fiddle with my audio settings for a minute or two before I can make it work again.
There is a half second delay before the audio is actually sent to the device if there hasn't been any audio playing for 3-4 seconds, making listening to albums unpleasant. There is no reliable way to turn off bluetooth power saving. The best you can do is play a silent mp3 in the background at all times to trick the OS into treating your bluetooth device like it belongs.
And sometimes bluetooth audio just stutters and cuts out at random until you restart your computer.5 -
Turn on colorful lights
Fire up some crackers
Consume sweets
Browse places with friends
Debug darkness
Reboot your inner system
😀 HAPPY DIWALI 😀
✨✨🎈🎊🎋🎑🎊🎏🎀🎁2 -
The moment when you wake up next morning, turn on your monitors and realize that the heavily needed update you wanted to install overnight didn't even start....1
-
F*cking Windows piece of shit.
I don't use windows, never.
I have it installed like a virus I installed on purpose to do certain things.
One of those things is updating my GPS device.
Well the piece of shit windows decided it was a good idea to restart while I was updating the GPS. Like in the middle of the update. Exactly when it says "Do not unplug your device or turn off your computer"
F*CKING PIECE OF SHIT.5 -
I just spent about 30h desperately trying to figure out why my Qradar API queries were not working while running in docker, but somehow worked when running locally. I was just minimally stressed because it's my bachelor thesis, which I need to turn in in 3 weeks and this basically nuked my whole planning.
So apparently docker requires you to set your own timezone, so my API queries were always querying data from an hour early, when the requested data did not exist yet....
It's 3PM and I need a drink, or maybe 101 -
Job interview pro-tip: when it's your turn to ask the questions, the first one you ask is "Is this job in an open-plan office?" If the answer is 'yes,' say 'thank you,' get up, and run out of there like your productivity depended on it.
-
some African elders who cant just let a young person be a young person
if you can't do without minding your business, just ask me what I am looking at or doing on my phone. I'll turn the screen to you and explain.
they just start this very long unnecessary talk about young people and phones
the fact that this fellow doesnt even know me, never been to my house, just met me on a trip is just talking nonsense
blah blah blah blah
you went to school to sir! but you're here doing business. is that your degree2 -
Started vacation today and arrived at our glorious holiday lodge. It is lovely. All very modern and funky. And it has a lovely cooker hob with touch controls... ooooo!!
And I swear I've never seen anything as complicated and confusing in all my life. It's a fucking cooker!! But it has no knobs you turn to set how hot a fucking cooking ring is. This thing has 2 pages of instructions to fucking turn it on - and they don't bloody help!! Want a ring on at heat 6? That's 9 fucking touches - but not like a smartphone touch, each a fucking 1sec+ touch!!
UX is about conventions and thinking of your users. The people who designed this obviously think they're visionaries and pioneers when everyone who actually uses their gear just curses them up and down for being stupid. Cookers are cookers and everybody knows how they work and how they use them?!?!
Holy shit designers, stop being too fucking clever for yours and everyone else's good!!
You can tell how nice and relaxed I am having started my vacation today... and read the rest of my rants to see how little I swear. But, by God, this thing is ridiculous. I blame the influence of @Letmecode for my reaction!! 😂1 -
Stop scrolling.
Turn your keyboard upside down, and shake it vigorously for a minute.
Now carry on.6 -
when your questions turn into a wall of text because you have a hypothesis and want to show the research you've tried doing, with citations
then nobody reads it or answers you
welp1 -
Reinstalled windows.
Now it updates.
Stayed for 10 freakin minutes on "Working on updates. 100% complete. Don't turn off your computer!" and then went back to 0%. FUCK YOU WINDOWS, FUCK ME FOR NOT BEING ABLE TO RUN LOL ON UBUNTU. FUCK FUCK FUCK.3 -
Mage and a liberated fully sentient Pentium-M Man stand by a brick wall, overlooking the desert. They are talking.
Mage is looking anxiously into the eyes of the machine. Penguin is standing behind her, holding on to her.
Pentium-M Man: "...they despise your kind because you understand the machine, while they have to turn jungles into fuel and enslave thousands of computers just to pretend that the machine speaks to them too."
1 -
- ok so I said I had to touch little bit of nodejs. It's a messenger like chatroom. Users data and the rest are stored in mysql. Chat messages are stored in mongodb. Found a funny issue. (Funny as in annoying that you just bang your head with your head while laughing funny) one mysql query in the node app is giving different order by result when you run it. I thought it was async issue. Turn out it's not. Said query works fine when running on phpmyadmin and the likes.
- I watched end game yesterday. And I'm sad. It's an end of an era. But also hopeful for various possibilities Marvel can do for future films.
- have you ever had such a great sex that afterwards she got serious headache and had to vomit?7 -
!rant
Many out there say you should use 2 factor authentication with everything, but personally i feel lile that would just turn your phone into a sigle point of failure.
Phisical security is my primary worry, because loosing your phone or having it stolen yould pretty much lock you out of all your accounts.
Another thing is i don't know as much about android security, and i wouldn't be confortable managing it.
I have 2FA active for some key services, but imho a strong password is usually enough. I think its far more more importat for your overall security to avoid passwords re-use.
What do you think? Do you have 2FA on all the time?9 -
! rant.
Just noticed this interestingly weird yet annoying thing Facebook does to force you to look at their advertisements !!
The first post in your news feed is something that is decided by their "ADVANCED ML+AI+... " algorithms.
The next post in your news feed is always an advertisement..usually tagged as "Sponsored".
After this, there is an insanely long delay in loading the subsequent post in your news feed, which in turn does not allow you to scroll further down and forces you to keep looking at the sponsored post in your news feed!
Noticed this on my Mac + FF 57.0.1
Makes me love devrant even more. Thanks for keeping it add free! -
Idea for a project:
Inspired by BlockAdBlock, what if we do a format-minifier loader for webpack? It'll take your minified JavaScript, and format it by filling it with newlines and spaces? It'll also try to guess the functionality of the variables and functions to name them. Ex:
function f(a, b){return a + b;}
// would turn into:
sum(summand, addend){
return summand + addend
}
but also:
function f(a) {
if( window.innerWidth / window.innerHeight > 700){
a.width = 4
a.height = 5
} else {
a.width = 5
a.height = 5
}
}
// would be renamed to...
function ifWindowInnerWidthDividedByWindowInnerHeightThenObjWithHeightAndWidthHeightEqualTo500ObjWithHeightAndWidthWidthEqualTo400ElseObjWithHeightAndWidthHeightEqualTo300ObjWithHeightAndWidthWidthEqualTo500( objWithHeightAndWidth ) {
if( window.innerWidth / window.innerHeight > 700){
objWithHeightAndWidth.height = 500
objWithHeightAndWidth.width = 300
} else {
objWithHeightAndWidth.height = 300
objWithHeightAndWidth.width = 500
}
}
Imma get famous5 -
Hey everyone.
I just had a job offer today for one of my dream companies!
They gave me a choice between a Linux or MacOS laptop. I've never owned a MacOS laptop before and I've been using Linux as my main OS for around 6 years or so now.
Also, abount a month ago I bought a new laptop on which I installed linux.
So basically, I have a Linux laptop for personal stuff and I was thinking of getting the MacOS one for work. Does anyone have any relevant experience and, if so, how did it turn out?
Thanks for your time, have a good one!8 -
Rant
Look mom just because I can change a hard drive on a desktop doesn't mean I can figure out why your laptop won't turn on. Also I'm sorry I have no idea how to create super fancy art work in Microsoft outlook2 -
Android 12, stop telling me every other day which app has permission to access my location in the background. I know, I gave permission, and I want to keep the setting "Allow all the time". Where's the "don't ask again" option?
And why does this happen for an app released by the German federal government (about once a week) but never, ever for your shitty Google Maps that always seems to know where I've been (at least if don't leave my phone at home, which is hard to do in times when you have to show your digital proof of vaccination everywhere yo go). Fucking Android, fuck the Android 12 clunkiness (inspired by Apple's iOS?) and fuck the fucking notifications. This is my phone, I paid for it, I own it, I want to turn off this bullshit. Wait, Google, once I find time to get back to LineageOS/Cyanogenmod you will never see a trace of my digital existence again. Oh, and fuck your "digital wellbeing" as well! At least you let me turn that off. Yes, I know, I am not grateful, but that's what devrant is for, isn't it? Fuck you, Google!2 -
"- Hello I work on this shitty Drupal project where the vendor directory is gitted, and we can't use composer becauses it returns error [note: i wish this was a joke]. So I installed a module that won't work, because it needs a depency. I installed it but it still doesn't work
- You need to edit your autoloader
- Ok, what do I put in it?
- Idk, you're not supposed to do it, and let composer do it for you"
Did I ever tell you how the Drupal stack exchange will one day make me turn into a serial killer? -
When you have a long line like this...
if ($obj->getStupidlyLongNamedThing() + $hard + $harder * $hard / $harder + $obj->getAlsoStupidLongThing([$sillyLongExpression, $thing]) > $obj->omgThisIsInsane());
If you're just going to be lazy and break it up however where where ever so it looks like crap...
if ($a->b()
____&& $a->c());
Then I urge you to do one of two things:
* Shut up your face and turn on word wrap in the IDE rather than manually doing it even worse.
* Break the long parts into variable assignments or something.
* (or get a wider screen)
Example:
$a = $obj->getStupidlyLongNamedThing();
$b = $hard + $harder * $hard / $harder;
$c = [$sillyLongExpression, $thing];
$d = $obj->getAlsoStupidLongThing($c);
$e = $obj->omgThisIsInsane();
if ($a + $b + $d > $d);
With sensible variable names.3 -
Dear RFP lady: Yeah, I'd love to help you - but I already know for a fact - that after I spend 3 hours pricing out your half-brained project - you'll just use my insight to drive up the price and then I'll never hear from you again. And btw, I see how those projects turn out. Not well.2
-
Oh you have plenty of excuses why I shouldn't have any reasons (which YOU call excuses) but don't see that yourself -- you fucking hypocrite!
There is NO EXCUSE for your bullshit lack of facing reality and setting unrealistic expectations that no one can possibly follow! Yet you continue to have an excuse for every legitimate reason (proven by facts by the way) that I have when everything doesn't turn out the way you expected.
Well GUESS WHAT motherfucker?? YEP, YOUR FUCKING EXPECTATIONS ARE THE PROBLEM not my actions. Just fucking grow up you piece of shit micromanager who has to have his nose in everyone's face all the time! Fuck that shit! -
When a designer walks into your office and asks you to turn on a feature that is not ready for production...1
-
I'm contributing to a project that allows you to control your Linux desktop from your phone. I managed to implement controlling your PCs volume form the phone. At first the code was ugly as hell, include a fucking long bash statement, but I even managed to turn it into a nice solution.
A few weeks later I was invited to meet the core developers. -
Everyone: Keep people safe and work from home!
My power company: We were going to turn off your power for maintenance but now we won't to help people work from home.
Also my power company today : Hope you didn't need your power to work from home. Good luck with that.
🤦♂️1 -
Symfony totally misses the point that a cache is supposed to sit on top of your code and accelerate it, not be an integral part of the software, so you cannot turn it the fuck off!!!
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Been using Yahoo's mail app and I'm pretty impressed with it. Finally a mail app that doesn't require you to turn on the Sync switch for it to work. What's your default mail app and why?15
-
How to sow the seeds of panic in a dev organization. Pop up a message that your BitBucket license has expired and you can't push code changes until it is renewed. Happened today. Amazing how fast the corporate cogs can turn when productivity is on hold and you still have to pay the devs.
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Keep forgetting to turn my data off when I'm home. That moment when you check your data after playing some videos.5
-
Mute your mic and turn off your goddamn cam while someone's talking in an online class FOR FUCKS SAKE!3
-
Why isn't all of Ace Combat 7 playable in VR mode? You can turn your head with R, so what would be the difference? They would lock the camera in cockpit view and turn it when you turned your head...2
-
For a moment, hold your php-hate in..
..FOR FUCKS SAKE they turned off warnings and errors on the server for customer applications. What the fuck. I mirrored one of those to fiddle around at home to find all generated files stuffed with "warning: we have no idea what we are doing at every line".
FML.
And yeah, the solution for my end is kind of simple, turn them off, too, but how about coding it the right way?:I -
Google map: "turn left your destination will be on your left", and 2 seconds later, "turn right and your destination will be on your right". 😐 So my destination is behind me?
-
We have a dashboard that does stuff and one of the things that you can do is to turn these devices on or off. I the front-end guy made it look better and added some new visuals from the back-end data for better use. So I wanted to disable the off button if the device is off and vice versa. So I found out that when I turn it off or on let's say on, the device turns on but the data I get from the back-end still shows it to me as off because the data comes from the server and even though a device is on it updates the server about that periodically so I wait 10 seconds for that update.
The back-end guy tells me he just can't do anything about it and that's why it was like that at first. Then a few hours later this guy complains about this little space in between elements. Like dude, if you are such a perfect guy go find a way to make your thing work so the dashboard can have up to date information.2 -
Optimization concepts/patterns or instances?
For pattern its gotta be any time i can take a O(n^2) and turn it into O(n) or literally anything better than O(n^2).
Instance would probably be the time that we took an api method that returned a json list made up of dictionaries CSV-style and changed it into a dictionary with the uid as the key and the other info as key-value pairs in a sub-dictionary. So instead of:
[
{
"Name": name,
"Info":info
}
]
We now return:
{
name:
{
"Info": info
}
}
Which can, if done right, make your runtime O(1), which i love. -
How many of you belief that devrant Search API supports utf-8 emojis?
Little confused whether this rant be classified as question or devrant!! -
Ah, the end of a very long work day, a beatiful time for me to click"update and shutdown" instead of "shutdown" on my laptop and being to scared to close the lid because I don't want to meet the thorn of God for ignoring the ancient wisdom of "Do not turn off your computer"
-
I swear to god as I see the copies and it same people running around if I have to hear one more person describe a trauma buried time period when everyone else was destitute and being a whore as COVID that they updated far and away towards their own freakish mutated purposes imma shoot someone
Seriously why can’t you people just life normal lives ? Why make existence into a drama filled prison sentence targeting everyone who just tries to retain sentiment and turn the world into a scrapyard of glitching human robots ? I want to know
Case in point record and gradually amassing property defends against this you people traded your futures to the very kind of people most of you are51 -
!dev
Wanted to get a haircut. My normal barber closed, so I just went to the closest one where arabic looking guys are working (as they are usually amazing with beards...) And you wouldn't belive it...
You need to schedule an apointment! Not just walk in, get offered something to drink, wait your turn and crack stupid jokes with the waiting guys...
Fuck!4 -
So I want to make an app...
You sign up with an email and phone number which is connected to a firebase or something idk yet
You add all your friends/family through email or phone number
When you need to, if you go to one of your friends, it will send notifications to your friends phone and will force it to make a sound on full volume, even if it’s on silent. Sort of like a find my iPhone for friends, or when you need them in a n emergency and you think they’re sleeping.
Of course they’ll be options to turn it off/block incoming notifications.
How would I go about doing like the whole connecting to the other phone part?5 -
I'm wondering when all the super amazing cloud apps will finally be able to sync notifications between devices. I mean this "problem" is solved for decades with unread emails etc., but somehow companies that get billions of dollars shoved into their arse can't seem to figure out that I don't want to receive all 57 notifications of the past week a second time whenever I turn on my tablet's wifi.
One might think that setting a fucking boolean flag in some database is not that hard when your service can stream 4k video to millions of people, but apparently I was mistaken. -
Had someone report a bug that we did not provide an error page for someone using IE8 trying to use our site. My suggestion was to create a page that simply said:
"Hi we noticed you are using IE8, you should immediately turn off your computer because it's obvious that you are too out of touch with reality to be using the internet. Please come back when you pull your head out of your arse."
The product owner did not find my suggestion as funny as I did. -
Very tired of people that turn around to me and say “this is sales, you have to know your audience, it’s not based on truth and logic”... basically an excuse for telling outright lies and expecting me to pick up the pieces when reality bites and the lies come back to haunt them, all for the sake of “closing the deal”8
-
For me it's definitely teaching. Whether I teach coding or any mathematical or even theoretical subjects. I find that when you teach someone you learn how to communicate better and transfer knowledge effectively. Communication is key in client relationships.
Secondly when you teach someone a concept you think you understand you tend to find flaws in the way you understand that subject matter by forcing you to hear your explanation out loud. This in turn will make you delve deeper into that subject matter and make you understand it better, rearranging your own perceptions and correcting those flaws. -
All you emacs cultists, share with me your wisdom. As someone who wants to learn how to use it I have a few questions.
what resources should I use to learn more about it and configuring it?
What's the difference between emacs, doom emacs and all the others I've heard about?
Are you able to and do you use the GUI or the CLI versions of it?
And are there any packages equivalent to VSCode's Intellisense?
please for the love of God don't turn this into a holy war of vim vs emacs I don't mind either I just want to try out emacs cause I think it looks awesome and something I'd be interested in.1 -
Do you guys remember a website named something like "turn off your tv" that suggests 'smart' videos to watch?
I need that in my life again.3 -
Okay so I was ignoring Windows 10 update from past few days. Today I turned on my PC and it's saying
Deleting your data
33% complete
Don't turn off -
I hate those people that comment on threads saying shit like “just google it” or “oh fuck another [insert popular topic] thread we don’t need another one.” Fuck off. It’s an online discussion forum. If it’s shit content the mods will remove it, otherwise no one is forcing your sorry, lonely pathetic ass to stop scrolling, click the thread, and read the god damn post. Just fucking turn off your computer and read a book.2
-
!Dev
Fuck you realtek and your shitting laptop nics and the companies that use them. Just a year later I cannot garuntee more than 10 minutes of uptime of WiFi all other devices operate fine leaving the laptpp with the realtek card. I need to use third party drivers to be sane. I have already dksabled the option to allow the computer to turn you off to save power3 -
!rant
I'm better at getting work done when I have work to do.
Put your phone on airplane mode, turn off internet on your computer (unless you really need it) and write down what you need to do and when it's due. Just do it.1 -
When you start a data import to a test database on Friday as it will take a few days only to forget later and turn off your PC. Just finished after restarting it Monday.
-
Come on, throw ANY foreign library or package at me, and I dare you, I double dare you mf, I'll turn your life into a shitshow!
~ Every frickin IDE ever -
Ok so this is more like a question than a rant
Have you ever gotten to close to your boss and how did it turn out for you?
Currently im as close as you can get without marrying her but we have trouble separating work from our private life...
Any advice or stories that you can share would be much appreciated1 -
when you are working on a project and your computer turned off(cause battery exists)
Me: FUUU WHY THE F*CK DID IT TURN OF, I HATE THIS COMPUTER, IF I HAD ANOTHER COMPUTER THIS WOULD NOT HAVE HAPPENED. -
#include <stdio.h>
/*
* Windows Update Algorithm
*/
int main()
{
int percent = 1;
while (percent <= 100) {
printf("Working on updates\n");
printf("%i %% complete\n", percent);
printf("Don't turn off your computer\n\n");
if (percent == 30) {
printf("Restarting\n");
break;
}
percent++;
}
return 0;
} -
I love watching how all these retards who were laughing from people who took the virus seriously from the start turn into the same ones they made fun of and thinking they are the smartest and best. Fucking proud of you all, thank you for doing such a service for all of humanity. Or people who think they "can't" get sick so they endanger the others. Why are people so stupid and they wake up only if it is already too late? Is it so fucking hard to stay at home? To not go skiing? To not be selfish and sit on your fucking arse at home? Fuck!
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What's your take on Symfony? My dad is making a project in Symfony but he asked me if the current stack I'm using is better (Rust + Sapper/Svelte). I said Symfony is fine (I have very limited experience in it) but I want to give a more useful response to him. Do big projects inevitably turn into a mess in Symfony? Is it enjoyable to work with? I want to recommend him something actually good and not just give him my biased opinion that my stack is better just because I like it more.3
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The 'geniuses' at Business doesn't seem to figure out why all of their systems turn out to be dogshit and outdated within a year or two.
Its because they don't even involve developers/IT into ANY of theirs decisions.
It's kinda like the patient telling the brainsurgeon how to do their job.
Hey, I get it. We are a bunch of antisocial wizards conjuring black magic at our computers all day. I would stay the fuck away from us if I were you aswell, but please for the love of Cthulhu, let us in on your great plans and amazing decisions before assigning blame.
Regards,
Th3 h3ckerz at IT
1 -
Dear provider, COULD YOU PLEASE SENT ME YOUR DSL INSTALLATION CODE BEFORE YOU TURN A COMPANYS INTERNET DOWN??? SRSLY this is the biggest bs. No phone no mail since 8am, new hardware won't work without this fkking code.
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When you do some group programming and let yourself get led wasting an entire day into writing 6 out of ~12 tedious higher level unit tests with lots of data setup and jerry rigging, that turn out to not even test the code changes you made on a ticket that another team is depending on.
But thank you to your tech lead for helping rope you out of that stupid shit with knowledge and clout.
Unfortunately the ticket has your name on it and everybody except the goon squad probably thinks you're a retard for going down that adventure (which was not your idea or desire).
I need to learn how to articulate no this isn't worth it, the complicated monolith software architecture with many different moving parts, among many other things. -
Thank you modpagespeed to use shit methods to compress the source and your amazing work with client side cache. The whole site was fucked up for a day and I didn't notice.
Note: press Ctrl F5 20 times if you tweak anything in js. Even if it's 100% working, pagespeed can fuck it up. Turn that shit off.5 -
In university, would it be better to study civil engineering for my bachelor and then move to computer science for my master, or would it be better to start with computer science in the first place?
With a bachelor in civil engineering I can always go do something else if computer science doesn't turn out, but I fear that it also might be a lot harder (to study). I'd like to hear your advice on this issue.3 -
If we’re concerned about Big G tracking our location without our consent, I’m wondering why there’s actually less complains about SIM cards being trackable. They don’t even need an internet connection to get your location, and there’s no way to turn it off.
Reference to posts/rants/articles such as this: https://devrant.com/rants/1020761/... -
Ten Freelance commandments
============================
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine
It's the Ten Freelance Commandments
It's the Ten Freelance Commandments
Number one
The freelance demands satisfaction, if the client accepts, no need for further action
Number two
If they don't, resubmit what's your record
Your historial when there's reckoning to be reckoned
Number three
Set a call or meet face to face
Negotiate a deal
Or negotiate a end in place
This is commonplace, 'specially
'tween noobs
Most projects are done and payment is due
Number four
If the client won't agree that's alright
Time to get a pistol and a doctor on site
You pay him in advance, you treat him with civility
You have him turn around so he can have deniability
[END] -
Follow up sorta...
So I got pulled into a support issue on a day off. Some system was facing timeouts on our servers so had to investigate.
Over the weekend as part of the release, I released the ELK stack I built and today I used that to help.
Pretty much immediately pinpointed which machine was hanging though still had to investigate and confirm so split between KQL and checking the server logs.
One thing I've always griped about is how no one created schema docs for it mongo collections so can't easily figure out what they do or your to get the document needed.
Well guess it's my turn.... Because only I know the schema :) -
Hearing the "don't turn your galaxy note 7 on during the flight, idiots" disclaimer before takeoff is just endlessly hilarious. And terrifying.
-
This one may be obvious but I thought I'd share it:
By default, Windows uploads analytical data of your machine to Microsoft via the Telemetry processes. These are quite the unnecessary and annoying resource hogs.
Well, you can turn that off by searching for Task Scheduler, looking for the Microsoft Compatibility Telemetry tasks and disabling them. Some of them are called Application Experience and Compatibility. I'm sure you'll find it.
As a side note, you can reschedule all of those tasks as you see fit. Some of them are useful and necessary but some aren't, causing bloat. For the useful ones, you can reschedule them once a month or something and not every day.
Pragmatism advised.4 -
Sigh, when you realise your bank is using depracated dojo.js (uncompressed with console warnings) and it wont proceed unless you turn ublock origin off ...
-
Enlightenment did happen, but it would be a reach to call a little rich Italian hipsters’ literature fad a “worldwide phenomenon”.
When we emerged as a species, all we had was tools and fear. Nothing has changed. Our progress in tools did fix suffering somewhat, but it couldn’t fix fear.
Fear is what makes one person attack the other, from a pub scuffle to launching nukes. It’s all the same, isn’t it. If I don’t strike now, they’ll strike first.
Losing an argument says nothing about you. Someone yelling at you while you stay silent says nothing about you. Being rejected says nothing about you. Being ghosted says nothing about you. Being betrayed says nothing about you. Even obeying your boss says nothing about you.
There is no need to compensate. You have the power to turn your “yes” into “no” swiftly and confidently whenever you want to. -
Blog: Never ever try to turn a rushed demo build into a live product.
https://likelikeatemyshield.com/pos... -
What is key for you? Money or growth opportunity?
Company A - offers X amount, and it's work environment is such that challenges you to learn and grow.
Company B - can offer you 20% more, but doesn't a lot of interesting things, your average turn around time for tasks is a day, two at best.
Which would you choose?5 -
So here is something that I haven't yet figured out how to do
How can I automate VPN connection and call some APIs through this connection?
I have something here where I have to turn on something like tunnelbear, connect to an American node, do an API call, then turn off the VPN, I just can't figure out a way to automate these steps without doing UI automation, and I don't plan on doing UI Automation for this case, I like to have something that works as a background processor that runs every few mins, typical script automation, but this time with VPN automation
So what are your suggestions?
Show me what you got!4 -
For everyone having problems with Windows updating at the most inconvenient of times, turn your automatic updates off, and just let tell when the update is ready. Here's your sign.1
-
Has this ever happened to you?
You open up your text editor and start typing commands. But it tries to turn on your virtual environment or run a script:
& "c:///project/folder/..."
But since you're in the middle of typing your commands, it get's meddled in between and it fails to run the script, so you gotta do it by hand.
git fet & "c:///project/folder/..."
Unrecognized command "get"7 -
!ios
Just Happy..
Jailbroken iPhone X
!! Disclaimer !!
I‘m not the Dev of this Jailbreak nor am I an Professional these are the steps that worked for me best.
Oh and, Jailbreaking will result in losing your Warranty. Don‘t do it if you don‘t know what you are doing!
Don‘t work with the official one?
Coolstar asked ignition.fun to host their Developer Account needed one.
The Website will have Ads, but they didn‘t change one Line in the JB itself. So no ads on the Device itself.
1. Go to ignition.fun in Safari (No Computer needed)
2. Click on Electra MP
3. Download it
4. Verify the Profile
5. Turn Off Siri
6. Turn on Airplane Mode
7. Restart your iDevice
8. Check if Airplane Mode is still on
9. Open Electra App and Press the Jailbreak Button (iPhone will restart)
10. Cydia Icon will be shown (If not -> Check Step 5. and 6. and then Start from 7.)
11. Open Electra again and click „Enable Jailbreak“
12. (I think Device will respring) You can now use Cydia -
When it comes to work, I wouldn't say that I get low motivation. In every single job that I have been in I have seen some terrible coding, or when I review my previous stuff I find it was also terrible. Always wanting to improve/refactor stuff is always a motivation as it'll in turn make me a better programmer. Also I hold that belief that you have to do the shit out of your job since you can be replaced!
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Like all good games, OBED has absorbed all the best that was created in this area before its appearance. Let's figure it out in order.
The idea of the game is quite simple - put Ivan in a chair with the ability to toss and turn. Give it Marya so that it becomes a round dance in your mind. Strengthen this round dance with another Marya, sometimes with a burnt mustache, sometimes in some other way. Give the opportunity to speak monologues and eat from time to time. And set a goal: to eat everything that is in the square marked on the table.
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