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Warning: the following image may cause severe eye damage and temporary autism. Viewer discretion is advised!
9 -
At work, me and my guys don't say "you have my attention" we say "you have my erection"
Yeah, its juvenile, and in poor taste, but to us its fricking hilarious.
Anyway, at any meeting when someone says "attention please" we always start giggling like fucking morons.
We basically substituted the word "attention" for "erection" and the only thing that we fear is using it in public. My guys seldom have to speak in public, I do most of the talking as their manager.
It falls on me to not say it at the wrong place, and the wrong time.
That is not reassuring to me. But I wonder how much longer can I keep going without messing that one up.15 -
When I'm forced to maintain a C project having recently done a lot of C++:
Compiler: Declaration may not appear after executable statement in block.
Me: dEcLarAtiOn mAy NoT aPpeaR aFtER eXeCuTAblE stAtEmEnt iN BloCk. *pffffttt*2 -
DuckDuckGo may be great for not tracking you, however it sometimes lacks the "smarts" of Google....
6 -
I bought myself a small summer gift 😍
This may or may not encourage me to work more at home this summer.
23 -
So today I saw this guy:
long size = long.MaxValue;
//method that may or may not set
//size
int[] array = new int[size];
Apparently we are processing blu-ray movies in place in memory.7 -
Fuck Swift is garbage. 😡
How did such a promising language turn into such a steaming 💩??
This may be controversial but I think open-sourcing it may have been a huge mistake.18 -
http://trumpipsum.net/
My next client may or may not be happy with the place holder text... At least it won't look like something out of some witch-craft book
3 -
In honor of Erwin Schrodinger's birthday I may or may not kill a cat. For the love of God nobody ask me which.5
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I may or may not have pushed to production certain intranet code that upon meeting certain and very specific conditions would display the message "penis penis penis c====3"
because I can't for the life of me remember why would I do that.
Whats your point??2 -
hm..... so there may be another side to rubber duck debugging.... at least according to Scott Adams...
1 -
HR : Hiring for a senior flutter developer with 8+ years experience
Flutter release date : May 2017
Thug life
4 -
Fuck sake :(
So I just checked my bank to find out I'm in an extra £300 debt because my fucking letting agency took my rent AFTER I MOVED IT FOR £98 BECAUSE I COULDN'T AFFORD IT.
Why the fuck is the world throwing turd after steaming turd at me, first the streets, then family, then job, then debt, now a constant barrage of shit. Just feel like ending it now so I don't have to deal with this shit anymore, fuck the human race and the shithole upside down society they've made :'(5 -
I earned devie middle. Bought devie left. I came in this morning and devie right is looking at me???
This may be a Tribble situation! Worried when I open my office door Monday they may come pouring out. What will I do with thousands of devies???
5 -
!rant
Snow may be around
There may be no sound
Except for the quiet hum
Of a devs system
While you want to stay up and code
Don't forget to decorate your abode
For it's that time of year to put up the tree
And surround yourself with family4 -
I uh.. I may or may not have just spent the last hour or so disassembling my headphones, only to find that there's batteries inside and the earcups just clip off.
Always do the easiest thing first...
8 -
Anyone starting with java may find this useful.
https://humblebundle.com/books/...
skrew it, i may buy it myself!!!6 -
So you know how a polite request may be phrased as a question, eg. "May I have seconds?". And how an appropriate answer for such a question may be a simple request, indicating the answerer's desire for the inquirer to be at ease, eg. "please do."?
So today my non-native ass had the following exchange:
her: "I'd love to keep you company but I have to call a friend who asked me dearly to call him back when I get home."
me: "please leave"5 -
Starting to develop a feature that may eventually render a department in our company redundant. Wish me luck8
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I may not be a prodigy or a natural and I may have joined the game late but god damn I love developing.1
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I read this in stackoverflow today:
Welcome to every C/C++ programmers bestest friend: Undefined Behavior.
There is a lot that is not specified by the language standard, for a variety of reasons. This is one of them.
In general, whenever you encounter undefined behavior, anything might happen. The application may crash, it may freeze, it may eject your CD-ROM drive or make demons come out of your nose. It may format your harddrive or email all your porn to your grandmother.
source:
http://stackoverflow.com/questions/...1 -
Today we migrated from TFVC to Git.
Emotional times. This may become the reason for a future rant or it may be the best decision we've ever made (had made for us).15 -
Good morning everyone, may your notifications be full of ++s and mentions rather than new comments.3
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I hope this may brighten your Friday slightly, fellow devRanters. My latest stupid creation: http://nyandagi.cat
3 -
Our team(except one guy) does follow TDD, it may or may not be the best but solves for us in most cases.
This one guy follows HDD : Hope Driven Development.
He writes some code, checks_in and HOPE it works :-)
And breaks preprod almost once per week.2 -
May or may not have just spent 10 minutes trying to troubleshoot why my terminal couldn't find nano only to realise I'm on a windows PC after every other command i tried failed...
I'm out of my comfort zone, send flannelette and help!8 -
!rant
Merry Christmas to you all!!!
I love you guys/girls :)
May we all solve a few of our problems in 2018 (whatever they may be).1 -
I found these notes from myself 6 months ago to my future self:
// may delete this, now it's in join profile
require('./configure/auto-confirm.js');
// may delete this, now it's in join profile
require('./wso/wso-email-ad-form.js');
I don't trust it. Not deleting.2 -
I have to share this. These guys are unbelievable! They claim they will build this console that will run a modded Debian Linux. Ok so far...
But then they say that it will run Windows games...
Wine you may think?!
NOOOO.
They say they will make a 'revolutionary' motherboard, that will RUN WINDOWS GAMES (?!?!?), WITHOUT WINDOWS!!!! And they will do this by putting a fucking FPGA chip on the board!!! That will INTERPRET .EXE FILES (IN HARDWARE LEVEL!!!)
They must be gods to run an .exe file using nothing but (V)HDL without the shared libraries and at hardware level!
FUCK! I'M MAD!!!
Scammers gonna scam!
http://www.project-novatio.com
P.S.: FPGA - https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/...7 -
Yeah, I can see you guys are also commenting (t.memeing) about this so may as well jump in the fun too.
Also Im still alive to anyone that may care an atom about it
2 -
It's nearly May. I am therefore going to start referring to apples as "tree potatoes" whenever possible.6
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If you throw a stone randomly in Bangalore(Silicon valley of India), chances are, it will hit a dog or a software engineer. While the dog may or may not have a strap (a.k.a. leash) around his neck, the software engineer will definitely have one.
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The uninitiated may think that Windows Server 2000 is great, unknowing that it refers to the year.1
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fuck it; at 10K updoots i'll reveal my identity
then everyone will know i'm a closet psychopath
it may be risky!
it may be ruinious to my career!
let's do it!21 -
For the love of the almighty, merciful God, fuck IBM until their company is brought down in ruins! May the earth they worked at be salted, and may they be struck from all records! May the families who speak of sons or daughters who work there be stripped of their status in life, begging in the streets!
May nobody be allowed to list them on resumes! May nobody be allowed to work for them! May they be a blight, hidden like the dirtiest porn magazines!
May mother's weep when children apply to them! May father's disown!
May managers avoid them! May they be scoffed at like the fools of old!
Oh how the mighty have fallen! The scholars brought low! May they repent before the day of judgement! May the change their ways! May they weep with sackcloth before the world, begging to be spared!
Fuck them! If you can't tell, I am pissed off!3 -
Second fecking time since January, I thought these things were meant to be "low maintenance"! (Though in fairness this time is sort of my fault, I may have accidentally edited the MacOS Python files instead of the downloaded ones)
2 -
I may or may have reached peak performance now
Like what the fuck is up with these GitHub followers like sure I did work for a startup for months but hot damn 147.
I don't know if I should be mad or scared or cry or be happy.
6 -
So I graduate on May 4th... If no one ends their speech with "My the force be with you" I'm going to be freaking pissed6
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Another little something I've just seen that may or may not be useful to the members here (most of whom may already know, but I thought I'd share anyway).
https://education.github.com/pack -
All software sucks, I overheard a colleague say. I used to be proud of what I wrote, but after 20 years I realize that I am never going to write perfect code. It may be good enough, but if that's all, than my colleague may be right. What a relief :)2
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I may have watched too much Westworld; I'm naming JIRA tickets with "Analysis - what caused the failure..."2
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ProfaneDB is a database to store Protobuf objects, working on top of gRPC for cross compatibility.
May evolve anywhere towards a "Serverless" kind of solution; a GraphQL to Protobuf interface; may use SQL as backend...2 -
Do you think one may become a good programmer or coder without excellent knowledge of mathematics or algorithms?5
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Someone may love water if all they know is a pool, or they may hate water if all they know is an ocean.
— a thought on why some take to programming more than others -
Now then... where do I begin 😐
TLDR - fuck charity
A bit of backstory first, I was in my first year of college when I started this project for this charity.
It started in December of last year, my tutor approached me and asked if I’d like a project to work on, for my portfolio and what not, I agreed as I thought it would be a great opportunity. Saying yes to that question is my biggest regret so far. Oh boy the pain it has caused me.
The projected started a few days after I agreed. The stack and stuff was already agreed upon by my tutors higher ups. The stack was Wordpress and a theme called ‘X theme’ I understand the use for Wordpress, they are a non tech savvy client, it will be easy for them to manage.
The project was to basically modernise the current site the charity had, simple task you might think... ohhhh no. We agreed upon a deadline, January of 2017 (spoiler, we didn’t make that headline). However the charity wanted change, after change, after change, after change, after fucking change. Every time I’d show them the new revision it was never right, they’d always want another change.
Once we hit the deadline I asked my tutor if we could just drop it. His higher ups said we had to keep going (I could of abandoned my tutor and left him to do it but I’m not a prick). Anyway, we are now in November of 2017, a whole fucking year later and the site has only just been handed off. A WHOLE FUCKING YEAR OF THIS MOTHER FUCKING COCK SUCKING PRICK WHO WOULDN’T TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER.
Please may god be with me as we have to provide support for this site 😥😥
If anyone’s really curious as to which charity it is or the site. I’ll post it in the comments if you ask nicely enough6 -
So I may have been preemptive with my earlier rant, I didn't realise Ubuntu ships with PHP7... Oops1
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Woo hoo, how I just love having to develop an extension to a system that the company bought 😍
Especially when there is an API that is completely undocumented, not even mentioned on their site 😍
Even more when it's a feature you expected to be there when you bought the system, because it's a reasonable thing to expect 😍
Fucking Ubiquity Unifi Video 😭 -
"audio/video playback and recording may be interrupted"
dafaq is Kaspersky trying to protect me from 💀
10 -
When shit breaks and you don't know whether to be depressed because it may be your fault or mad because poor decisions and seniors refusing to offer help may have made the problem worse. It's a fun Friday.
😣1 -
My laptop is 14 inch 1080p resolution display. None of the desktop environments scales correctly. Most of the time the font will ne too small or webpages on chrome looks weird.I want the display to look when on windows 10. I really want to switch to linux(gnome) but this is hogging me.13
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Happy New Year From Singapore!
In this year,
May all the Devs out there be able to code peacefully everyday without being disturbed by that annoying coworker.
May all the Devs out there be able to get clients who understand our pain.
May all the Devs out there be able to work on the projects that they love while getting paid proper amount.
Cheers! Love live devRant and it's community.1 -
Windows 7 or Windows 8.1? Which one do I fresh install on my laptop?
Don't suggest Linux cuz I already have an Ubuntu Dual boot.
Don't suggest Windows 10 cuz I'll find you and murder you.
You may suggest Windows 8 so that I may judge you.16 -
Happy New year fellow devs!!!!
May it suck less than the previous one!!
And may we all get what we want :) -
Is it considered hacking if it may or may not be your account that you guessed the security question to?9
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$logger->log_info("Dumper ln:[" . __LINE__ ."] INFO:" , Dumper(%cmd));
[May 1,2018 12:46] Dumper ln:[1118] INFO: 2018-05-01-T12:46:04
...
day++;
frustration ++;
...
Replaces < , > with < . > in line 1.
[May 1,2018 12:53] Dumper ln:[1183] INFO:$VAR1 = 'SQL dude why?';
Mother of Perl !!! -
Client: hey, we need to build an interactive campaign page. Something that can be fun on mobile too..
Developer: o...kay... such as?
Client: how about a 360 environment and mobile can make use of the gyroscope?
Developer: should be fine but may I know what is the browser support we need to cater to?
Client: IE 9
Developer: .... ok we may need a fallback for non-supported. May I know how about the timeline?
Client: 1 month.
FML.6 -
Is it normal for "enterprise" software to have 14+ pages of known issues in the release notes, including issue descriptions that use phrases like "may lead to data corruption" and "may cause the cluster to crash"??2
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So basically.... you should make the implementation of this wireframe .... which may change in the nearest future but we don't know it yet, so better you start it anyway because it may even be the final one.
....
F***2 -
There is a period in developer's life when writing comments in your code is a good idea. Then, after some time, when you write comments, it means your code is not that descriptive, is not so good that you consider writing comments.2
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1. Finish/start to work on side projects
2. Learn Erlang or something similar
3. Read atleast one book per month (may or may not be related to programming) -
That amazing feeling one feels all over their body when they finally crack the problem they have been trying to solve for weeks.
Feels amazing. I need more of that. In a pill form. Thanks.4 -
!dev
Finally pissed off and desperate enough on an issue that I dropped $25 to promote it...
The following may or may not be an advertisement, but what are you thoughts on this?
https://chng.it/4GyGZLkHW69 -
Insufficient for Dynamic Pages, Unpredictable Behavior Across Browsers
If you attempt to view the same website using three different browsers, you may be surprised to find that pages are sometimes displayed differently depending on whether you use Internet Explorer, Google Chrome or Firefox.1 -
!Rant
Wishing all my fellow Devs a Merry Christmas!!
May all your Dev & non-Dev dreams come true, may your annoying colleagues stop annoying you!! -
In college, first year, made a website using just HTML and CSS, and now I'm receiving offers from seniors to upscale their portfolio websites, which looks like an early 2000's blog website made by a 6 year old with colour blindness. I may or may not be getting threats #sufferingFromSuccess2
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So exciting, I have asked if i may join a new AI project and I may if I can get approvals from 2 of my managers and one has now approved it and still awaiting approval from the other, hope and believe I get the last approval. 🤖1
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Attempting to get back on the docker container hype train and I get this error.
Find the issue, and Microsoft's response 'oh...ha ha...our bad. We may or may not fix it. Sorry, sucks to be you.'
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Looking up new js libraries/interesting CSS snippets that MAY help but probably won't. (But they might)1
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c++ tip: modern cpp standard libraries have std::optional, which allows you to declare a variable that may or may not have a defined value:
std::optional<std::string> optional_string;
(I've started a journal of interesting c++ things I have learned: https://github.com/AlgoRythm-Dylan/... ) -
As much as I may look down on Python for how simple it may look, I'm happy of it for having done a pomodoro with music playing in that language.
I'm sure that will help in dealing with my 4 projects and exams due before a month. -
Hello folks.
This is my first rant ever here, although it may not be a 'standard' one. Am I the only poor soul who finds Java Enterprise annotations (the fucking @DoSomething) the zenit of antiesthetic and unreadable code?
I fear I may be alone in this battle.2 -
Sums up my life. And my property.
I'm bored! Mail me to email ID in https://pgp.mit.edu/pks/lookup/... I may or may not reply. Cuz I may not remember the password for that email ID.
5 -
I'm almost through this sugar free Monster and I'm still falling asleep and it's only 10am. I'm going to get some coffee, but it may be too late. No amount of caffeine may be able to keep me awake today.1
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Debugging - being the detective in a crime movie where you may be the murderer, your friend may be the murderer, or you might both be unknowing accomplices for the other
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》CREATING A HUB《
• Hey everyone, Just asking your ideas on what you think may be good put into a hub i am currently working on. Something that may catch the users attention or that may even just be a help to them
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Any devrant or friendly programming telegram group i may join?
Currently learning cpp and would like some supports..
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