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GF: "The Internet is broken!"
Me: "WHAT?! Sound the horn! Raise the alarm! Call gondor for aid! The Internet is broken! Does the president know?! Save yourself fools!"
*skips away on pretend horse*4 -
When my colleague asks for help when debugging, I like to start of with setting a few breakpoints.
5 -
"WE'RE HIRING!!"
Skills Required:
BEFORE: HTML, CSS, JS, jQuery
NOW: REACT/VUE/ANGULAR, NODE, CI/CD PIPELINE, DOCKER, GRAPHQL, JOHN CENA12 -
*Reads dokumentation*
"Function A returns a float, see Function B for more information."
- Alright! *Scroll*
"Function B returns a float, see Function A for more information."
7 -
Our Web Technology professor taught us this in the year 2016, he said and I quote,
"HTML frames are the latest technologies in the www and are supported by new generation browsers only, for example Netscape navigator."14 -
*Cuts 7 slow lines of code down to 1 fast line of code*
*Looks around to see if coworkers can see me*
*Pumps both fists in the air*7 -
No, dear M$, I can't tell you if sth is helpful after spening 5s on page, especially if 4s were spent loading the content!!!
2 -
Not my own rant, but when I see some user asking for refunds on a free app, I just gotta share it. See the developer's heart-warming response.
12 -
When top level guys look down they see only shit... 💩
When bottom level guys look up they see only assholes.. 👍
7 -
I use Dark Reader in work. Got home and realised today's google logo isn't as creepy as I first thought.
2 -
WHY THE BLOODY HELL does everything auto play, if I wanted to see your video I would click play, DO NOT ASSUME I want o see your shitty video.7
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Sometimes in my company, I just want to shout "Java is shit". But I am afraid my coworkers will beat me, because they all seem to love Java. 😅17
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Do you ever see someone's great work online and the amount of accomplishments he had, and see your confidence drop? At the same time, it's inspiring.6
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How I explain what I do as job to non-techies (back-ender):
You won't ever see what I make on a screen but what you see on a screen, you see thanks to what I make.6 -
Campaign manager: I don't see my campaign on portal xxx.
Me: Are you sure? I can see it correctly...
CM: Yes, I don't see anything.
Me: Do you have an ad blocker on?
CM: ... Oh, right.
#eyeroll
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People I see all day on devRant
2016:
- All versions of Jase (@Jase @jAsE ...)
- @Linux
- @dfox @trogus
Today:
- @gitpush everywhere
- @Linux
- @dfox @trogus36 -
this happens way too often in our company
PM: did you made that change I requested?
me: yeah, its on the live server now, why?
PM: I cant see it...
me: *wtf, I specially forced the JS to reload to eliminate problems with cache* could you send me a screenshot?
PM: *sends screenshot*
me: I dont get it... I can see the changes in my browser *dev feeling intensifies* ... refresh the site and try again
PM: oh... suddenly its there, ...anyway, thanks! it looks great!
me: *facepalm*
turns out our managers just dont refresh websites, they want changes to take place immediately3 -
Sometimes I see how many likes reposts get on here and it makes me want to be a bad person and repost everything I see.2
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Recruiter: "How do you see the future of the field?"
Me: "... How do I see the future of neurorobotics?"
Hom: "Yes"
Me: 😐 *baffled*8 -
// to understand infinite loop, see the bottom of this file.
At the bottom of the file:
// to understand infinite loop, see the top of this file.2 -
The index to Sedgewick's Algorithms book says:
recursion, 35
see also base case,
see also recursion1 -
Yes, thank you bash, I know Nano is the easiest and I am a pussy developer for not using Vim. Now shut up about it.
3 -
World class Korea's Scratch (yeah, the orange cat scratch) Test
You see the blocks, see the requirements, then DRAW the scratch blocks and do block coding IN PAPER.
WTFFFFFFFFF
7 -
Got eye problems and I have to see a doctor today. Told my boss I can't see myself going to work today. I think he got the message.1
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To my fellow 🐍 charmers:
You should see in C to understand C, else you'll never see what's in C. It's a big sea, you better start C. 😍16 -
I learnt my college junior some coding and development, and we became best friends.
Later I asked her out, and now we are not talking after that. 😅10 -
Everytime I see Cybertruck pics I see people tied up on hoods and other wildlings riding in the back with spears and guns
6 -
Want to hide this devRant apps on android but how?
Because everytime my wife see this devRant, she say, wtf this app? So many bad word, so many "fuck", you must avoid see bad words too much ,she said. Lol its true but still happy to see it, because its damn true. I love to see people say the truth19 -
When I see a bug in somebody else's code (Gnome):
- "can you please not write bugs!"
When I see a bug on my code:
-"whatever, I'm only human..."
😅2 -
Girl: What major are you studying?
Me: Computer Science.
Girl: Cool. Can you hack my boyfriend's Facebook, I think he's cheating on me.
Me: Go to hell. 😡4 -
It came to me, a brilliant idea, a simple solution to an everyday problem and easy route to market. Great, starts looking for domains and writes down idea in full in case i forget. Later that day, picks up 12 year old son from school, tells him my great idea. He told me how shit it was and why straight away.5
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*Android New version released*
Users: Wow! Let's see what are the new features are...
Developers: Shit! Let's see what are the things they DEPRECATED.5 -
Not learning data structures and algorithms. Not learning programming languages. Actually not learning anything to answer during a job interview.
I am more of a learn-while-you-do kind of guy. I never learn anything, instead just do it. Interviewers think I am useless because I know nothing. But I can get a job done, any kind of job done. I have no learning period, I can start working from first day in a all new language, in a all new IDE, in a all new OS.
I know nothing, and I learn nothing. I am a problem solver. You got a problem, I can solve it.6 -
Found this Nokia 1100, when you see it...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Hint: you can see Windows logo on the screen
3 -
So I've been developing something I call P.A.R.N! (terrible name, I know) that recursively scans a folder for images and serves up a picture gallery via http using those images.
What do you all think?
https://github.com/AdamWelch1/...
I just wanted to share my latest personal project here 😶
The funnest part for me was writing the web server part :P20 -
I am feeling lonely and depressed. Don't feel like to code. I am introvert, don't have friends. Idk what to do. 😫10
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On websites: "I don't want to see an arrow cursor on the buttons."
On desktop applications: "I don't want to see a hand cursor on anything!"4 -
When the founders of the company leave and you see the soul slowly getting drained out of the company. Hurts to see..
10 -
My company has no new development for me to do. And hasn't done for a month or two.
Up side - today is resigning day! Couldn't be happier4 -
Portugal in August: heatwave coming from Africa
Portugal in October: polar wind coming from Iceland4 -
*enters random page*
To continue, you must accept all cookies or click here to see our Privacy Policy.
*clicks to see privacy policy*
*in privacy policy page*
To continue, you must accept all cookies or click here to see our Privacy Policy.6 -
Yeaaahhh that moment when the program flawlessly crunches through ten thousands of files, only limited by the slowish HDD! :-)
In full multi-threading, tons of dynamic buffer resizing, pointer shit left and right, also two star programming, and everything written in raw C!14 -
Just finished a technical interview for a company that asked me to submit a small app.
I guess when they had written the requirements they had anticipated it to be written as a Webform not as a full MVC application 😂. They had expected me to complete and build this single page app in 2-3 hours not in 14... 🫥 Oops
So here we are reviewing it and asking questions about my setup and what I was trying to do. They were impressed enough with it that one guy even admitted that I might be a better programmer than him. 😳 A very kind compliment, but concerning because he's supposed to be my manager...
All in all got through everything and they want me over to meet the team and see what this shop is all about.
I'm excited, they company is seeing immense growth and I might be able to bring in my expertise to expedite some of it.
Did I mention they use SVN for version control? 😳
They want to get into Git soon but they don't know how to. I guess I'll be leading that cause.2 -
So a non-tech colleague just walked in and asked if it was possible to find and replace "level 1" for a star in 200 .docx files. Considering the fact docx is xml I thought it shouldn't be too hard to do this. I received her email... Including the FF-ing star as a png image! Here i thought she meant a *. Ah.. Hell no!
ʕノ•ᴥ•ʔノ ︵ ┻━┻
7 -
The hammer dev. See a problem, they grab a hammer. See a screw? Hammer. Complex social issue? You bet your binary tree it's getting hammered.2
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It's actually right now. I'm looking forward to my interview at another company today.
So sick of getting angrier everyday.1 -
Most recruiters will write they've found my Linkedin profile and read it thoroughly with great interest. I always call their bullshit with this simple line on top of my profile.
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HR Interviewer: Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
Interviewee: I have your job and I'm asking the interviewee: "Where do you see yourself in 5 years?" His response?
I have your job and I'm asking the interviewee: "Where do you see yourself in 5 years?" His response... -
If it crashes, it's linux :/
Even the OS installation crashes, they call it stable release with LTS.
11 -
Time travel. Because i can see the errors i willhave before even writong the code. And...(tou will see it in week 56)1
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There's definitely something wrong with me.
Yup. Definitely.
Why?
I can't find the C shirt in devrant's avatar modifier.6 -
Pet Peeve... If you are a creator, you are largely doing technical content, and the channel is not about your personality. Then I don't want to see your stupid face. I want to see technical info like text, graphics and block diagrams. I don't exactly know why this bothers me, but it does.6
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When u see Bullshit u r supposed to call it Bullshit not organically digested grass.
Thank you for your time5 -
You see business majors who don't know each other and are all talking to each other, but then you see computer science majors ...2
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Was looking for an app to see if there was one for free code camp to start learning python. Auto correct suggestion wasn't bad at all 😂
Found sololearn and happy with that for now
15 -
my coworking has a windows machine and wants to work on unix, is bitching about all the distros and their ugglyness in interface, missing software and i'm just here on my mac like....
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I have tried hard to show my ex boss a better way to build web apps. I really tried.
I understand that some people just don't want to lose their investment, and in my opinion classic ASP was bad but not nearly as bad as a lot of people made it out to be. I enjoyed it, was fascinated by the ammount of shit I had to do by hand when using it and the lack of more modern paradigms as the ones found in more mothern languages, but really believed that it microsoft wanted they could have continue to provide updates to the language and ecosystem rather than dropping everything in favor of .net ( which is awesome really)
But his time is ticking and I really liked him as a person, he was kind and willing to adapt to my schedules and pay considerations. I really don't want him to lose clients because his stack does not conform to the new and shiny.
I guess he is scared of me offering to rewrite portions in newer tech since he does not want me to leave and leave him without a developer that knows that stuff. So i have offered myself a position along him as a partner, not a worker, since that way it will be my product investment and I will not leave it just like that.
Dude is really wealthy so he can afford it and he knows I will not do him any wrong.
I nust wish he would reconsider promptly since it would suck to have me as competition.2 -
One of the worst loops of my life
(can't find glasses cause I can't see)
(can't see cause I don't have my glasses on)1 -
OS can’t install the network driver because the installer can’t see the network card, the installer can’t see the network cars because the driver isn’t installed.1
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When refactoring legacy code and your colleague committed this a week ago... As punishment we made him listen to "You're too fat to fly" all day long.
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Is there anyone who still categorize Linux distros as Windows version?? If you didn't see guys like this,I see them a lot!3
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being the good guy that I am I was helping out a family member over the phone. Frozen computer was the verdict... Eventually it turned out the computer wasn't frozen at all, the batteries of the magic mouse had died... thanks for wasting my valuable time! I then told em I would only help if they used cables for everything, including wifi. It took 3 weeks for them to realise Wifi cables don't exist. revenge can be satisfying sometimes!1
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I am working on my personal resume website (with a lot of css and jQuery).
Two days ago, I got a job offer, so I started preparing for the interviews, leaving the website aside.
Then, yesterday that company turned me down. So, I left the interview preps and started working on website again.
Then, today there is another job opening and I am now again preparing for interviews, keeping the website on a pause again.
Also, I have my internal exams coming up this weekend.
I don't know what should I do. Idk what I am doing. 😥😥7 -
Woah, this platform still exists. That's cool, idk why randomly I thought let's check devRant. lol3
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Earlier I used to help my college batch mates and juniors in coding and development stuff. Sometimes I used to do some projects with them myself to help them learn. Sometimes I used to go beyond limits to debug their errors, even spending hours with them physically or through TeamViewer.
But now I have realised that I had been no more than just stackoverflow.com to them. They just call me when they need me and don't even care about me as a friend.
So that's it. Now I have stopped helping such people. I don't care if that's rude or arrogant. I just don't want to do this. If they still are a friend, well and good otherwise they can leave. I don't care anymore. -
Just decided to go "all in" on Amazon but then see this... (See previous rant)
Maybe I should just go half in? (3 shares)
14 -
!rant - well maybe
I really wonder what is going to be the end product concerning Deno and TypeScript when it deals to managing dependencines. Thus far the general idea is to have a deps.ts file for which the dependencies required are fetched through a url, cached into the project and then imported from that file onwards.
This seems interesting to me, and I would venture to say that it eliminates some of the pain points from running Node applications, we all know about the dread caused by overly large node_modules folders, but would y'all say this is the right approach? rather than stopping people from generating a large pool of dependencies, it seems that the issue would continue to persist, but it would just come from the internet during runtime rather than from living in the file system of the application.
Either way, I still remain a big fan of Ryan Dahl and his creations and can't wait to see Deno stable enough to test out on a couple of projects.2 -
Guys at work just found out that they can see all the commits in a repo that they have to change stuff in on a daily basis..
Granted they aren't really the most tech savvy sometimes but they have both been there for like a year...
Made me laugh a bit when one went
"Dude did you know we can search our git for commits? So we can look for who fucked up!?" -
If you want to see the level of stupidity some indians have, see the reviews on snapchat's android app on play store in the last day or two.7
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When devs clash:
-See, I've got this *condition* where myDick() is bigger than yourDick(), so Try{} me and see what you Catch{}2 -
Have you seen those comments which are better than the rants themselves ...
I see myself being forced to ++ the rant, just so people could see the comment :/1 -
Legitimately thinking about having everyone in my department take the ejpt certification test followed by the Offensive Security examination, just because I think those are some legitimate skills to have for devs.5
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"I placed a bet on you. Not a bet like, with money but on the future: In my head, I see you as a senior in a couple years"
Mate how about waiting just enough to let me finish my studies so I can nope the fuck out of this hell hole of a job?1 -
Apple finally released my stickerpack!
can you see me?
do I look creepy?
can’t see my reflection, probably looks messy
is it spooky?
wanna see a movie?
I can walk through walls, you don’t have to pay for two seats
14 -
So I was installing ubuntu alongside windows in dual boot.
The installer had some problems while partitioning the disk, so I did it manually using GParted. Then the installer had some problems while installing GRUB.
Now I got to know that my windows partition has been corrupted and ubuntu isn't installing.
My fully functional laptop is now reduced to metal crap with no OS being able to boot. Fuck Ubunu. Fuck Linux. -_-4 -
So there is this guy with a startup, who wants me to work with him like a co-founder, putting innovations in to the startup. But I want to work like an intern, I will code, you will pay me money, if something breaks, I'm out.
Idk for how long, we can continue like this. Sometimes I feel I should leave, but then I think about the extra pocket money (I am a student). But he calls me like 10 times a day, talking for 15-30 minutes on phone, repeating the same things again and again, which really pisses me off as an introvert.
Should I leave the extra pocket money for some peace of mind?1 -
From the window by my desk I can see helicopters, jet planes and the occasional bird attacking people.
What do you see out your window by your desk?8 -
See a regular not controversial rant. Has 20++, 1 comment.
Me: Scrolls by.
See a regular not controversial rant. Has 20++, 22 comments.
Me: I'm ready, lets go!!
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Ya know when somebody else is on a project and you see their code and it's just sorta stay away from that bag of crazy? Like, some people I work with I see their code and it's fine, then I see some people's code and my eyes start to bleed.
-
people call me insane
they'll see
THEY'LL ALL SEE
***ONCE I FINISH THIS SCRIPT I WILL PROVE TO YOU ALL THAT YOU CAN HIDE TRAFFIC IN GAMES***
i'm tired4 -
Is it just me or are there more people who get immense satisfaction and happiness resetting their PC and their phone?
Like I was kinda depressed for some 2 days, and today I re-installed Windows in my friend's laptop and now I am feeling up again. Now I am resetting my PC and my phone 😋.
Feeling super motivated and hoping for a better start. 😁5 -
Yeeeeeesh. After god knows how much time I've finally gotten this shit rooted and an adblock er installed 😎
2 -
Understand problem
Write solution
See it work on browser
Delete/comment solution
Write tests
See them fail
Restore solution
See it work on testing -
DuckDuckGo claims that they don't track their users, which is very true. But if a person is using an Android device, he/she is already "owned" by Google.
How does DDG help here?10 -
Am I the only one who typically prefers light mode over dark mode on apps? There just always seems to be something about dark mode that just doesn't feel right to me or my eyes. It seems like maybe I'm a freak because of that preference, but luckily it hardly comes up in my day to day life so it's a secret I hide well.3
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If I get ++ and configure something, will other people see me as a duck or will I only see everyone else as a duck?
These are urgent questions2 -
I just realized I can easily sanitize the data by using + as “ and I haven’t even had coffee yet. I might be on a roll today.
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When you've been pair programming to help solve a collegue's problem, only to come back to a cold chair again.1
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After a long time of not using devRant, I’m back. Is Linuxxx still huge? Is that wonky raven thing still going on? Does everybody have a Tiger now?6
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RegEx
i.e. be able to see a text and compose Re for it and vice versa, get a text and Re and see if they match... -
Awesome feature by devRant...
You can't post your password in rants or comments... See:
My password is ***********
Try now! When you post you can see the password, but others will only see '*'.
-If you fell for this, u r a noob.16 -
I offered my college junior a referral in my company, and she said she doesn't want to be favored and wants to get a job all by herself.
So I am thinking if applying for a job through referral is really unethical or against someone's self-respect? 🤔🤔
What happens when you see a person offerring referral opportunities on linkedin or other social media and apply there?? In that case, it doesn't seem so wrong. Maybe it was a little too personal offer that made her think about her self-respect? 🤔2 -
Just typed this into the Python interpreter and my whole system just froze. Guess I have to do a force shutdown.
x = list(range(1, 999999999))
So is there a way you can somehow configure your linux system such that the window manager/system is never out of memory or processor time? So that atleast I get can atleast kill the process which is freezing the system.3 -
Using ReSharper is like becoming enlightened, or de-brainwashing oneself to see true reality. Of my entire dev team, I'm the only one who can see the fnords!
Unused identifiers, badly sorted modifiers, unused property setters, redundant `this`/namespace, redundant casts... Surely if they could see them too, such code would not survive! -
sorry for not ranting but im quite anxiously looking for a talk about Domain Driven Design. I think it was from Eric Evans but the ones I found yet arent it. he has a very speqking example of shipping which he usus throughout his talk, speaking in front of quite a big crowd, interacting with the crowd and no desk or anything in front..... Is there anyone who knows which talk I mean? Infinite kudo's to he who does!1
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Normal people when they see the word 'Helo': Helicopter, misspelled "hello", nothing too complicated
Me when I see the word 'Helo': MALFORMED SMTP GREETING; EXPECTED DOMAIN -
Week3: An april fools website listing people who commited minor offenses like j-walking and speeding. the reactions we got to publish on april foola day were priceless!
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https://towardsdatascience.com/chec...
“Check and see if your model can over fit”
See I did that and nothing was changing wtf pytotch !!!!2 -
!dev
Fuck, I love soundcloud but as an artist without any reputation, it fucking sucks when you upload a song, get an instant "love" from some random "promoter/bot" without the bot having the decency to listen, and when I look at the bot's profile, they "love" tracks that are not in my genre >_< (and manage to listen 60 minutes-worth of music in 1 minute...)
Not that I care whether people listen or not (it's more an ongoing portfolio to see how my mixing evolves over the years), but at least listen to it for 5 seconds2 -
You can call me a noob developer, but I still think its magic when your code doesn't work. So you step through your code to see what's wrong. But you can't see it. So you just hit continue just to see your code is now working3
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https://youtu.be/Wk-cKr6EvSo
See this would be beautiful
If it were genuine this is the kind of thing I’d like to see -
On Friday I talked about a program that I copied and pasted into my own, and when I was testing it, it didn't work like the original.
If I kept it as the original, it wouldn't even move. If I tried to change it (taking the queries out of the loop. I know I know, I didn't make the original), it would give me a dump saying I was out of space.
So, my solution: delete some records as I go.
Can't wait to see the problems I'm about to have with this 🙃 -
I love how the devRant webapp is intercepting scroll events (I assume) such that attempting to scroll down results in one step down, two steps up.
Why? Is this an attempt to solve jellypotato for infiniscrolling?
Looking further I see the scrollbar itself is actually getting smaller, like some element on the page is extending beyond the end or something. 🤔
I don't know, man...4 -
Since rubber ducks are everywhere, let me play with the algo and see if this post will be in everyone's feed. 🐤
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I have a meeting in 1 hour that should be about the deployment of a product. This morning I got 2 emails from the client about some not so small changes.
Not sure how I can explain that I'm not a wizard.
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