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Search - "condition"
-
Toilets and race conditions!
A co-worker asked me what issues multi-threading and shared memory can have. So I explained him that stuff with the lock. He wasn't quite sure whether he got it.
Me: imagine you go to the toilet. You check whether there's enough toilet paper in the stall, and it is. BUT now someone else comes in, does business and uses up all paper. CPUs can do shit very fast, can't they? Yeah and now you're sitting on the bowl, and BAMM out of paper. This wouldn't have happened if you had locked the stall, right?
Him: yeah. And with a single thread?
Me: well if you're alone at home in your appartment, there's no reason to lock the door because there's nobody to interfere.
Him: ah, I see. And if I have two threads, but no shared memory, then it is as if my wife and me are at home with each a toilet of our own, then we don't need to lock either.
Me: exactly!12 -
If EA had developed their own Programming Language:
Iteration DLC ~20€
Condition DLC ~15€
Connectivity DLC ~12,99€
Gold Edition ~120€15 -
if (condition) {
//code
}
if you place your brackets like this, you're an awesome individual. Let's be friends30 -
Just went jogging again for the first time in ages.
Mother of god, I was convinced that I had a quite good condition.
Yeah.... that convincement is now veeeery gone 😅18 -
Worst Person you Interviewed?
I interview many developers at my company. Today, I interviewed someone who seemed fairly qualified. Then I spotted a large gap I his resume. When I enquirer about the gap, he disclosed that he had served prison time for pedophilia. He further disclosed that as a condition of his release, he had to be supervised when using a computer.
As we are a gov/medical company, we are not allowed to hire people with a criminal record. He begged me but I told him that it was again company policy. I felt sorry for him not finding any work and being forced to beg, but I also had a knot in my stomach over the details his crime that he elaborated on.
Anyway, he scored 0 out of 10 on my interview scale.
Right after him, I interviewed another developer who seemed great on paper but when I proved further, he didn’t know jack about JavaScript, despite his resume show him to be a “jQuery expert”!
So, I asked him what he does in his spare time and how me keeps his development skill/knowledge up to date. He said:
“...no, I don’t study this shit in my spare time... I’m not a facking need!!!”
I stopped the interview right there. I might sware here on DV, but it my office I keep it civil & professional. So I certainly do not appreciate it when a diaper wearing, snotty nosed, junior wanker swares in my offices to merely protect his willful ignorance and shows pathetic pride instead of humility. That interview comes to an end immediately!
The pedo got a 0 out of 10, but this brat scored a -5 out of 10!!!
I have so many interview stories I could tell you...
#fml12 -
I really hate people who prefer this coding style:
if (condition)
{
// something shitty here
}
Instead of this:
if(condition){
// perfectly clean code
}42 -
To become an engineer (CS/IT) in India, you have to study:
1. 3 papers in Physics (2 mechanics, 1 optics)
2. 1 paper in Chemistry
3. 2 papers in English (1 grammar, 1 professional communication). Sometimes 3 papers will be there.
4. 6 papers in Mathematics (sequences, series, linear algebra, complex numbers and related stuff, vectors and 3D geometry, differential calculus, integral calculus, maxima/minima, differential equations, descrete mathematics)
5. 1 paper in Economics
6. 1 paper in Business Management
7. 1 paper in Engineering Drawing (drawing random nuts and bolts, locus of point etc)
8. 1 paper in Electronics
9. 1 paper in Mechanical Workshop (sheet metal, wooden work, moulding, metal casting, fitting, lathe machine, milling machine, various drills)
And when you jump in real life scenario, you encounter source/revision/version control, profilers, build server, automated build toolchains, scripts, refactoring, debugging, optimizations etc. As a matter of fact none of these are touched in the course.
Sure, they teach you a large set of algorithms, but they don't tell you when to prefer insertion sort over quick sort, quick sort over merge sort etc. They teach you Las Vegas and Monte Carlo algorithms, but they don't tell you that the randomizer in question should pass Die Hard test (and then you wonder why algorithm is not working as expected). They teach compiler theory, but you cannot write a simple parser after passing the course. They taught you multicore architecture and multicore programming, but you don't know how to detect and fix a race condition. You passed entire engineering course with flying colors, and yet you don't know ABC of debugging (I wish you encounter some notorious heisenbug really soon). They taught 2-3 programming languages, and yet you cannot explain simple variable declaration.
And then, they say that you should have knowledge of multiple fields. Oh well! you don't have any damn idea about your major, and now you are talking about knowledge in multiple fields?
What is the point of such education?
PS: I am tired of interviewing shitty candidates with flying colours in their marksheets. Go kids, learn some real stuff first, and then talk some random bullshit.18 -
!rant
The Sound of Typing (an original dev parody of "The Sound of Silence")
Hello caffeine, my old friend
I've come to sip on you again
Because my mind continues sleeping
While overpiled work is creeping
And the deadline that is flashing upon my screen
Can't be unseen
Within the sound of typing
Down the lines of buggy code
I quickly switch to debug mode
What kind of moron wrote this function?
For this unnecessary junction?
Wrapped in a condition that will always return true
I need a brew
To forget the sound of typing
Boss said I you do not know
WordPress like a cancer grows
A one page website doesn't need that
Still I wear my debug hard hat
And when I sleep I still see the same terror
Fatal error
Echoed in the sounds of typing
And every time I leave my home
I must launch chrome on my phone
The constant messages and phone calls
The chiming echoes through the halls
While I frantically fix some FooBar'd CSS
BUT I don't have LESS
Deep in the sounds of typing
And when I think I have it done
Some scope creep ruins all my fun
So now I force through an all-nighter
While I forge on like a fighter
But the project I thought was due on next Friday
Changed to Monday
Within the sound of typing10 -
DevOps is like development, except there is zero test coverage, everything is a race condition, and there are a million variables declared as global. 😡8
-
Sometimes I wish I was allowed to just strangle my colleagues...
Example from the 'code base':
try:
do_something()
except Exception as e:
log(e)
do_something()
When I asked why they would redo the same call right after it failed I was told that 'It works the second time because it takes time to raise the Exception '.
Bitch, you've got a race condition in your sensitive banking software. You know it's there. Do you really want to trust the time needed to raise your exception will always be enough to synch that dumpster fire you call code?
Show some fucking respect for your craft and fix that shit. But of course they won't, because it will work flawlessly until it suddenly stops working. Taking down who knows what in this damn, undocumenred monolith with it....
Sometimes I'm honestly afraid to trust banks with my money.7 -
once you start using linux on laptop. here is a condition of your mouse.
i don't know when I touched it last time.17 -
So a coworker wrote this -- a function that returns a view if a specific object exists in the database. Now what would happen said object doesn't exist in the database? Forget about returning false and handling it properly, he decides that the function should print (echo) a zero! Not to mention almost all his if-else blocks prints a fucking zero when the if condition is false (there are 8 of them, if you're asking). Error messages? The hell with those.
He is now the PM btw. I've had enough of this shithole.14 -
Got this today 😍 It's not in the best condition, but meh, got it for free with a charger and everything.25
-
In this case the person who quit was me.
Agency didn't pay the past 4 months, we asked at least the reimbursment of expences.
They told in a 2 hour arrogant speech that we must thanks them becouse they make us work even if they aren't paying. They said that "in this period these are the rules and we must accept this condition." So, I stand up, I went to shake the hand of the boss and others, I went to the door saying "good luck".
All the coworkers stand up and applauded.
Two months later the agency was closed declaring failure.6 -
if( !condition ) vs. if(condition == false)
Pointless debate started with readability, turned into heated insults under 30 seconds 😂21 -
Preface: This client, let's call him dickhead, is running a successful brick-and-mortar based business in one of the top cities of the world. He is highly qualified in a non-IT field.
Rant: This son of a shitbag things he knows everything because he can search on Google, has a degree, owns an expensive business, and of course has money. Does not listen to my suggestions on which framework to use, how to integrate stuff, etc. because he thinks he is the fucking father of Linus Torvalds, and Linus built Linux kernel out of his super-intelligent sperm.
But that titbag can't understand the simple fact that he has spent the last 2 fucking years building stupid websites which he thought from his brain located alongside his balls. None of those websites are in the condition to launch, forget making a difference. Primary reason being using wrong frameworks for wrong purpose, but his half-assed brain can't understand this.6 -
My second job. I've been hired as a research specialist, not a developer, but they found out I could code during the interview.
Boss: hey, so we have our main product line that shares the control panel for all the models, right?
Me: unh, yeah
B: well, we need to know how it works.
M: sorry?
B: yeah, I mean, we should have a manual with all the tech documentation so we know how everything works
M: ...and didn't you handle the tech docs to the developers?
B: uh...no, actually we requests feature to the devs (note: external company) with a phone call, or email...now we need the specs.
Me: omg
...
The other company (which is part of the same group) handles me the source code.
It is a huge, 25k lines of spaghetti written by at least 7 people, one at a time, uncommented.
After a month I produce a 50page doc with how everything works, after actually compiling my resignation letter 3 times.
M: boss, here the docs
B: fine, I'll take a look
15 mins later
B: this is not what we need! You cannot describe those algorithm like this!
( I described the algorithms with their block flow, with a punctual verbal description)
M: umh.. So how do you need it?
B: we need an excel table, with all the entering conditions on the rows and all the exit conditions in columns, and the description of the condition of work in the crossing cells!
M: are you even serious?7 -
Still haven't been paid for completed a retail shop project. But all is well, since the system will not start on Black Friday till I remove the if condition 😈10
-
My first poem for programmer girl 😘😘😘
My life is incomplete without you,
You are semicolon of my life
You are my increment operator,
you make my value increases
I am username and you are my password,
without you No one can access me
You are my initializer,
without you my life would point to nothing (NULL or “0”)
If I were a function you must be my parameter,
Because I will always need you
Can you be my private variable?
I want to be only one who can access you
You are my compiler,
My life wouldn’t start without you
You are my loop condition ,
I keep coming back to you
My love to you is like recursive function,
It will never ends & Will never enter into infinite loop
Forever and Ever11 -
PRO LIFE SAVING TIPS FOR DEVS (long rant, not clickbait 😝)
I have a medical condition called DVT (Deep Vein Thrombosis). It clots blood in veins near lower body parts. Affected leg swells and become red and it is very painful. It happens when you very frequently sit for very long.
I used to play games, code and stuffs for hours and sometimes I used to stay at home without taking decent walk for weeks. I am only 18 and did not see it coming. But its really early stage and I might be fully recovered real soon.
This condition is not rare and happens to millions of people every year. And it can be avoided if you avoid sitting at computers for long hours and take 5 mins to walk or stretch. Even if you can avoid this condition, there are many others if you dont pay attention on your body. Please take some time to google how you can avoid anything such.
(Please don't comment sympathies, I really know you wish well for me. Instead you can throw tips what you do to relax after long hours of work).15 -
TL;DR, employers are often penny wise and pound foolish.
One morning, my vehicle had a potentially life-threatening condition that I needed fixed before I could drive to work. I was 3 hours late but made a productive day of it. Plus I had stayed late after work, for no pay, a couple of nights because I have the kind of work ethic that compels me to do weird stuff like that occasionally.
When the time clock report came out it showed I was 3 hours short for the pay period. I brought up that I had "paid it forward" a few weeks prior and asked for an exception based on that. I was told that a) all "extra" work had to have been approved prior to doing it and b) that pay period had already passed, so no, I'd need to make up the hours. Being pretty miffed at being so nickled-and-dimed, and for being expected to drive to work in spite of the possibility of losing my life, I just had them take it out of my time off.
Fast forward to my latest monthly review: After another potentially life-threatening vehicle breakdown and fix, I decided to ask whether I could have a couple of telecommute days per week to offset fuel and mileage to recover the repair cost for the wear and tear on my vehicle. The answer was "No, because then everyone will want to work from home and then we'd have no way to know if they're really working."
On that same day I got an offer for doing the same job at another company for 100% telecommute and at nearly twice the salary. I turned in my resignation two days later. Now they're scrambling to try to replace me.2 -
What kind of dumb fucks are making these job application forms, initially I thought asking my “sexual preference” was weird but then I saw these !!!!
How does my earlier financial condition or what my parents did when I was 14 help my job application when now I am 28 !!
The fuck9 -
I have a certain condition with my eyes which i can compensate with glasses with prisms in it. Due to these prisms, all glowing colors become displaced in height. When i look on editors with syntax highlighting enabled, red is two millimeters behind the screen, green 4mm in front, blue 2mm in front, and gray exactly on 0. This is amazing, and sometimes is just watch this and wonder when holographic screens are becoming a thing. Id really wish for you to see somerhing like this.13
-
Hey you,
yeah, YOU.
Listen here: Don't EVER lend a book to a friend. Why? Just got back a book I lent to a friend, was in perfect condition. Got it back SOAKED in coffee and as CRUSTY as a KEYBOARD used by someone who EATS CHEETOS without washing their HANDS.
It twas a good and useful book on Linux commands... most valiant in my early days of exploration. R.I.P. my good friend.13 -
Why the fuck do teachers take points off for coding style. Like really placing my open house brace on the same line as an if is what looks good TO ME. And breaking from a while loop with an inverted condition is nicer than a huge if TO ME. Fuck it I like the m_ for member variables too. And yes C++ usually names functions like someFunction, but I like how c# does SomeFunction. Like shit, it's personal I don't care that I lose 5points every test I do it just to say fuck you22
-
I so hate the following statement
if (condition)
makeOperation()
I prefer
if (condition) {
makeOperation()
}
Who is with me?14 -
Oh boy.
I recently, I switched job for an open source company in Lyon, FR.
They had struggles to find me something to do (still has, tbh), so they sent me to a client of theirs, to help for a biiiiig project that's really old (created in 2001)
The thing was... Horrible. Lots of styles were set via JavaScript without condition, I found 3 different versions of jQuery, at one time they added Object oriented development in a context where they had HTML, JS, (inline) CSS and... PHP of course, inside of one PHP file. The architecture was more "uuuh these files in this directory will be about this functionality".
And it goes on forever. I told them that I hadn't the required level of PHP knowledge to have an excuse to get the fuck out of there, my company didn't like it but it was either that or my mental health.3 -
"I strive for code quality and maintainability. I actually do. And i will not work for a company that does not care about it and just wants something done as fast as possible.
The only time i will do something quick and dirty is if it's actually urgent. And even then with one condition - my next task will be to fix it properly.
I do not care about your deadlines. I will do my best to meet them, but not at the expense of code quality. I've seen too many projects fall into technical debt, where productivity is so low, that the only way to move forward is hire more people and start working on a project 2.0
And please do not lie about how great your company is, if it's not. These kind of things surface very soon, and you will have wasted both of our time, because as i said - i will not work for a company that does not care about code quality."
you think i'll ever get a job again if i put this on my CV ? :D10 -
So yesterday I deployed a build on our release environment and i had added a new rest api end-point which I needed to test.. A heads up though, its written in java spring and the entire flow consisted of too many calls/returns from various other java & python services.. Also to make things worse, the entire deployment is a really cumbersome process as you need to copy the build from one box to another..
After like almost 4-5 hours of debugging, adding logs left right & center, crazy upload speeds (yaa this is sarcastic) and frustation at its peak, I found the issue..
There was an if condition that was checking for equality between an enum constant & an enum in a request aaaannnnnddd
*Drum roll
THE CONSTANT ENUM BELONGED TO THE WRONG PACKAGE HENCE ALWAYS EVALUATING TO FALSE... ALSO, BOTH THE ENUMS IN THE DIFFERENT PACKAGES ARE IDENTICAL... FUCCKKKKKKK MY LIFE
😑🔫rant i am done with life why you do this java someone kill me now no tags nope i am not time to die i am dead1 -
Got this from boss (a few colleagues got it as well):
Sites have been down over the weekend and seems the only person cares is PM! There is a condition about working when required (i.e. unpaid OT) on your contract! It is essential that sites are properly managed even at weekends - we run a online business! If anyone has problems we'll discuss next week
*Note: site was partially down and there was no major impact on the business
When I explained why we need to rebuild the sites, you said not now - almost 2 years now, still nothing happens.
When I asked if we can get managed hosting or load balancer, fecking NO again
After asking for my opinion on the sites, you & the puppet think my honesty is me being negative and incorporate, and exclude me from meetings and major part of my work
Go fuck yourself! I've warned you about the status of the sites and you did not want to listen SO DON'T TELL ME I'M NOT DOING MY JOB WHEN YOU'RE THE ONE STOPPING ME FROM DOING IT PROPERLY!
I'm sure we'll have our meeting very soon, cheapskate.10 -
Some people, when confronted with a problem, think: "i know, i'll solve it with threads!".
have Now problems. two they2 -
I sometimes remember the time when I wrote a Email-inbox-exporter-PHP-script-type of application that collects all the emails from an inbox, "copied" it to a database with the attachements and stuff and moves it to a folder..
I just started at the company for like a couple of months, had no privileges to create mailboxes and such and I didn't want to interrupt our programmer to do this for me, so... I decided.. to save time and resources.. to test run it on our global, live 'support' mailbox.. :D Well.. You might guess what happened.. Apparently I mistyped the name of the move-destination folder (because imap-weird-things) that resulted in a completly empty mailbox and an empty database because the inserts failed due to bad encoding and mime-type issues..
The moment I refreshed my Outlook and noticed that all our mails where gone.. I swear, I can't describe that feeling of fear, cold sweat, intense heartbeat... I just stood up, asked if anyone wanted coffee, and just walked out of the office.. When in the hallway, I heard my collegues ask to one another "do you have any issues with outlook, all my mails are gone?". Everyone was stressing out, the chief was stressing out "what happened?!", nobody knew what happened.. :D
They could partially resolve it via one collegue who hadn't refreshed the mailbox and he could forward all the mails back to our support mailbox..
I dropped the project idea and learned to work with dev environments :D A couple of months later, I accidentially forgot a where condition in my SQL UPDATE statement, but that was the last time I seriously f*cked up.. :D Got to learn the hard way I guess.. Now everything I do runs in dev environments, I test everything before publishing,.. When I look back.. I don't even recognize the (inexperienced) guy I was back then ! :D
Ps. No one still knows what happened that day and they blamed it on server issues :Dundefined learned from my mistakes sorry collegues fucked up live testing fml inexperienced empty mailbox4 -
TLDR: Skills and background or dedication for becoming a good programmer?
So I almost finished the bootcamp on my company, there is only 2 people. Me and another guy who is from math major. He wanted to learn programming so he applied for the job. He doen’t know sql, any backend language, and not even html or css when he joined. The only thing he knew is for looping and if condition logic. He survived 1 months or so by learning a lot here. C#, .net mvc, sql, decent css and html. I believe he worked hard by learning it by himself. But the company he can’t continue anymore. I doesn’t know the reason but probably because he is seen as not good enough. Sure he is kinda slow when adding some feature to our small project but we need to find how to do it by ourself mostly. Now I’m alone with another few weeks to continue4 -
no matter how big shot programmer you are, you 90% time you will only code
if(condition)
{
// do something
}
else
{
// do something else
}8 -
me: "aye im a cool functional programmer, monads are useful, whats up loop using plebs'
also me: *passes input argument as terminating condition*1 -
I helped a homeless man with a really bad foot condition down the stairs to get to the subway platform along with bringing down his wheelchair. Just his luck that the elevator was out of service. The man cried and said that he wished more people like me existed in the world but the world he knew was long gone from his grasp.
My problem with that situation was that people just ignored him and look disgusted at him....since when did we as humans lose faith in each other to the point that we ultimately care about differences, status, and appearance before anything else?
Such a sad fucking world we live in today and I had just learned that he used to be a programmer and worked at IBM back in the days (he had a really old decrepit badge too and we shared some programming woes before we got on separate trains).
Bless him and fuck everyone else who stood by and watched the poor man suffer. Those people are worse than shit, they are the scum of the Earth in my eyes.4 -
I DID IT.
Arter being stuck on a freaking hellish bug that had to do with some obscure edge case for a month i've finally fixed it.
All i had to do was remove ONE condition from a while loop 🙃4 -
I write blocks of code like this:
If(condition){
code
}
I'm trying to fix a bug and the previous dev is doing it like this:
If(condition)
{
code
}
Does anyone know any good nerve calming pill ? 😜20 -
I have previously seen this in a production code base. The same code base included nested if statements (20+ conditions)...
If (condition == false) {
return false;
} else if (condition == true) {
return true;
}15 -
condition == true
is for boys,
public static boolean isTrue(boolean condition) {
try {
return new Boolean(condition).equals(Boolean.parseBoolean(new String(Boolean.toString((boolean) Boolean.class.getField(String.valueOf(true != false).toUpperCase()).get(null)).toString().toCharArray())));
} catch(Throwable t) {
return condition;
}
}
is for men.6 -
Life as a homeless developer.
I'm a lil brainsick but homelessness makes you that way.
I started writing software as a hedge against an old injury i had from my teen years. I have a unique condition leaving me with limited use of my hand as such any jobs like cashier call center and they like are of limits to me, i can't hold change because my hands don't bend flat, and to much typing is excruciating. Therefore being adev should get the most bang for the buck that I have left. Ive been doing this for 12 years. Well it's all bullshit and unicorns. I can't get a job to save my life. All i get is calls from recruiters wanting a full stack retard. I'm an erlang developer for about 5 years, c# php no i can't do Photoshop or frontend gay as colors because it's a different skillet. Oh but trumpy says we're at the lowest unemployment ever, ya because we're all homeless and companies are still looking for unicorns, they don't exist just like the fake jobs which is the real fake news. In reality if a company wants you its because their dev left and you are to fix their broken shit, which never worked in the first place thus cannot be fixed besides I'm not a plumber. In my opinion many companies nowadays are run by liberal sjw children who don't value your time but want the product now, spoilt. Recruiters are the worst, gimme money because i touched your resume. I'd rather just kill myself than try to appease some fucking retarded children. Its so awesome to live in a tunnel while my skills entropy while i have 160 self published github repos, know many programming languages and be told your have no value. its those same children that dont understand the flow of money or value loyalty, claim we have all these jobs but no skillid employees, so they can bring in more visa overstayers, underpay them and claim record profits, the more you pay forieners my countries money the less there is to go around in the society leading to disenfranchised people like me, and you wonder why there's so many shootings in il. How long can i endure homelessness before i start becoming a criminal? Soon i will have no other option. You employers had a choice but I'm going out with a bang.25 -
I've been lurking on devrant a while now, I figure it's time to add my first rant.
Little background and setting a frame of reference for the rant: I'm currently a software engineer in the bioinformatics field. I have a computer science background whereas a vast majority of those around me, especially other devs, are people with little to no formal computer background - mostly biology in some form or another. Now, this said, a lot of the other devs are excellent developers, but some are as bad as you could imagine.
I started at a new company in April. About a month after joining a dev who worked there left, and I inherited the pipeline he maintained. Primarily 3 perl scripts (yes, perl, welcome to bioinformatics, especially when it comes to legacy code like is seen in this pipeline) that mostly copied and generated some files and reports in different places. No biggie, until I really dove in.
This dev, which I barely feel he deserves to be called, is a biology major turned computer developer. He was hired at this company and learned to program on the job. That being said, I give him a bit of a pass as I'm sure he did not have had an adequate support structure to teach him any better, but still, some of this is BS.
One final note: not all of the code, especially a lot of the stupid logic, in this pipeline was developed by this other dev. A lot of it he adopted himself. However, he did nothing about it either, so I put fault on him.
Now, let's start.
1. perl - yay bioinformatics
2. Redundant code. Like, you literally copied 200+ lines of code into a function to change 3 lines in that code for a different condition, and added if(condition) {function();} else {existing code;}?? Seriously??
3. Whitesmiths indentation style.. why? Just, why? Fuck off with that. Where did you learn that and why do you insist on using it??
4. Mixing of whitesmiths and more common K&R indentation.
5. Fucked indentation. Code either not indented and even some code indented THE WRONG WAY
6. 10+ indentation levels. This, not "terrible" normally, but imagine this with the last 3 points. Cannot follow the code at freaking all.
7. Stupid logic. Like, for example, check if a string has a comma in it. If it does, split the string on the comma and push everything to an array. If not, just push the string to the array.... You, you know you can just split the string on the comma and push it, right?? If there is no comma it will be an array containing the original string.. Why the fuck did you think you needed to add a condition for that??
8. Functions that are called to set values in global variables, arrays, and hashes.. function has like 5 lines in it and is called in 2 locations. Just keep that code in place!
9. 50+ global variables/hashes/arrays in one of the scripts with no clear way to tell how/when values are set nor what they are used for.
10. Non-descriptive names for everything
11. Next to no comments in the code. What comments there are are barely useful.
12. No documentation
There's more, but this is all I can think to identify right now. All together these issues have made this pipeline the pinnacle of all the garbage that I've had to work on.
Attaching some screenshots of just a tiny fraction of the code to show some of the crap I'm talking about.6 -
My Javascript professor explained Boolean to me using an allegory about pizza: "If I give you pizza, under what condition do you eat it? Your hunger must be true or false. Boolean does the same thing, but with things less exciting than pizza."
It didn't even begin to make sense to me until it became about pizza.
I vote for ALL future computer classes to be taught in terms of pizza.12 -
Kids use "if(condition)"
Men use "if(condition == true)"
Legends use "if((condition == false) == false)"14 -
Was forced to code like this:
if(condition)
{
//code
}
Instead of this
if(condition){
//code
}
Also I should mention that this happened 4 years ago and my mentor (27 years old economy major at the time) did not know how to use git, we stored projects on a shared networking folder.16 -
**noob alert**
Hi all, I'm new to this community. I found it out couple of days back while downloading some apps on play store. And I don't know how much time have I spent here since then... Damm, I've an interview after 2 days.
My query is, I am stuck/confused. I have so many ToDos. ToDos to learn new things, from UI to other langs to machine learning to database to etc etc. And I keep on postponing it because I can't decide which way to go first. There is so much fuzz about BigData/AI which sounds cool. Sometimes I want to build UI for my imaginary idea, then somebody says a man must learn linux and DB. Top of that I'm preparing for interviews, so I think I should get a job first and then start learning. But when I get a job, I get *busy* with job. It feels like Captain America, all he does is official work. I sometimes feel like trying open source coding, but quit the idea because I get scared or overwhelmed by imagining the big community behind it and I won't be able to make a difference or I might get bashed by others as I get bashed in StackOverFlow :-(
I'm unable to get help from friends/family/colleagues, not because they are bad. It's just they don't get it. People think just because you have a job which pays the bills and save money, everything is fine because there are lots of people who dream to get a job, so be thankful for what you have. I'm thankful... But it's not helping. I really want to do things more than what my job asks me to. The kid inside me is awake since I became adult.
Have you been in this condition or is it just me? Or is it too confusing? Could you please help me out. Thanks a lot. Sorry for serious post. I'm a java programmer by the way.9 -
This is an example if statement:
if(bla.boolean()){
}
Bill does NOT put comments into the condition brackets.
Be like bill.
Please.11 -
May i ask for help dear fellow devRanters?
@aureliagbrl suffered a deep depression and pressure from her family, the cause is exceptionally simple yet very crucial; so here's the story :
Every week, in friday after the last class she have to go home to fulfill her family wish to gather around and will come back to her dorm in Sunday. her home is more than 1.5 hour from University. recently one class in Wednesday moved out to Saturday Noon for some reason this cause her to go home in Saturday afternoon, yet her family doesn't care if it means she have to wake up 3am in Monday, to get back alone to catch up with class. her family just want to gather around longer, that's it, no exception. According to her this is so frustrating and exhausting. so the condition now is Tomorrow Morning (Monday) there will be a Live Coding Exam. she isn't prepared, her only wish was to get back on Sunday instead of Monday to Study. her family discard her wish entirely. this make her so deeply depressed and i can't even talk to her, she starting to mumbling about quitting college, and etc, etc.
We all know how bad it is to burnt out right ? and we want our fellow developers get out from it and a good shape. My wish is simple from you guys, i wish you can mention her in comment and cheer her up.
Thank You
here is her cheerful photo.35 -
Ever heard of event-based programming? Nope? Well, here we are.
This is a software design pattern that revolves around controlling and defining state and behaviour. It has a temporal component (the code can rewind to a previous point in time), and is perfectly suited for writing state machines.
I think I could use some peer-review on this idea.
Here's the original spec for a full language: https://gist.github.com/voodooattac...
(which I found to be completely unnecessary, since I just implemented this pattern in plain TypeScript with no extra dependencies. See attached image for how TS code looks like).
The fact that it transcends language barriers if implemented as a library instead of a full language means less complexity in the face of adaptation.
Moving on, I was reviewing the idea again today when I discovered an amazing fact: because this is based on gene expression, and since DNA is recombinant, any state machine code built using this pattern is also recombinant[1]. Meaning you can mix and match condition bodies (as you would mix complete genes) in any program and it would exhibit the functionality you picked or added.
You can literally add behaviour from a program (for example, an NPC) to another by copying and pasting new code from a file to another. Assuming there aren't any conflicts in variable names between the two, and that the variables (for example `state.health` and `state.mood`) mean the same thing to both programs.
If you combine two unrelated programs (a server and a desktop application, for example) then assuming there are no variables clashing, your new program will work as a desktop application and as a server at the same time.
I plan to publish the TypeScript reference implementation/library to npm and GitHub once it has all basic functionality, along with an article describing this and how it all works.
I wish I had a good academic background now, because I think this is worthy of a spec/research paper. Unfortunately, I don't have any connections in academia. (If you're interested in writing a paper about this, please let me know)
Edit: here's the current preliminary code: https://gist.github.com/voodooattac...
***
[1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/...29 -
Online friends: "So what's your plan for new years?"
Me: "We will do some amazing stuff! This will be fun"
Online friends: "Great!"
*Real condition: alone, no plan, and miserable*
Who else having the same?17 -
When you spend 3 hours looking at your project's code and debugging it to find out you forgot to add a '!' to your if condition.... Brilliant4
-
Omg so I've been stuck on this function I'm writing that checks if a certain array value is so many characters long and well, it just wasnt returning false when outside the conditions..
I tried taking it step by step, echoing out every line and it all made sense to me and there were no syntax errors.
Time goes by and inside the configuration file I was testing.. I was changing the value of a DIFFERENT array property than what I was using in my condition. They looked really similar.. fml xD2 -
The only serious, as in customer affecting, bug I never git fixed was an indexing bug that caused an exception requiring manual intervention by one of us.
Despite going at it for many years I never found the root cause before I left the company.
The reason it was so difficult was that it only occurred every second month or less and with different customers.
It was also not triggering directly when the error occurred but a while later once the error had caused accumulated errors until one value got negative.
Also, it was a combination SQL, backend code and frontend js and the time from initial error until an invalid value could be hours, days or even weeks.
And we never ever managed to replicate it our self and found no common pattern between occasions.
We think it was some kind of race condition when updating the db that caused duplicate values or a hole in the index series (db transaction or db index was not an option for various reason that would require a redesign of the central tables and most if the central code).
This then grew into multiple error on consecutive updates until one f them resulted in a negative number that then caused a regex in js to fail.2 -
Who's got time to be an imposter. 🤷♂️
I am out of my depth 90% of the time, always diving into areas that are foreign to me, you just need to enjoy the buzz of knowing you are coming out the other side more knowledgeable then you did going in.
But if you do get overwhelmed with this condition, step back, take a breather, and use that moment to think things through at the big picture level before moving forward again, sometimes the right solution is hard to think off when you're to focused and drowning your way through a bad one.8 -
In the before time (late 90s) I worked for a company that worked for a company that worked for a company that provided software engineering services for NRC regulatory compliance. Fallout radius simulation, security access and checks, operational reporting, that sort of thing. Given that, I spent a lot of time around/at/in nuclear reactors.
One day, we're working on this system that uses RFID (before it was cool) and various physical sensors to do a few things, one of which is to determine if people exist at the intersection of hazardous particles, gasses, etc.
This also happens to be a system which, at that moment, is reporting hazardous conditions and people at the top of the outer containment shell. We know this is probably a red herring or faulty sensor because no one is present in the system vs the access logs and cameras, but we have to check anyways. A few building engineers climb the ladders up there and find that nothing is really visibly wrong and we have an all clear. They did not however know how to check the sensor.
Enter me, the only person from our firm on site that day. So in the next few minutes I am also in a monkey suit (bc protocol), climbing a 150 foot ladder that leads to another 150 foot ladder, all 110lbs of me + a 30lb diag "laptop" slung over my shoulder by a strap. At the top, I walk about a quarter of the way out, open the casing on the sensor module and find that someone had hooked up the line feed, but not the activity connection wire so it was sending a false signal. I open the diag laptop, plug it into the unit, write a simple firmware extension to intermediate the condition, flash, reload. I verify the error has cleared and an appropriate message was sent to the diagnostic system over the radio, run through an error test cycle, radio again, close it up. Once I returned to the ground, sweating my ass off, I also send a not at all passive aggressive email letting the boss know that the next shift will need to push the update to the other 600 air-gapped, unidirectional sensors around the facility.11 -
doNotMessWithITTeamInAFuckingProject();
Last night me with my team have a discussion with my project team. Currently we have a project for our insurance client building a Learning Management System. The project condition already messed up since the first day i join a meeting. Because since its a consortium project with multiple company involved, one of company had a bad experience with another company. It happened few years back when both of company were somehow break up badly because miss communication (i heard this from one of my team).
Skip..skip... And then day to day like another stereotype IT projects when client and business analyst doing requirements gathering, the specs seems unclear and keep changing day by day even when I type this rant I'm sure it will change again.
Then something happened last night when my team leader force our business analyst to re index the use case number (imho) this is no need to be done, and i know the field conditions its so tough for all team members.
So many problems occured, actually this is a boring problem like lack of dev resource, lack of project management and all other stereotype IT projects had. Its sucks why this things is happening again.
Finally my fellow business analyst type a quite long message in our group and said that he maybe quit because its too tired and he felt that the leader only know about push push pushhhhhy fcking pussy, he never go to the client site and look what we've done and what we struggle so far.
I just don't know why, i know this guy earlier was an IT geek also, but when he leading a team he act like he never done IT project before, just know about pushing people without knowing what the context and sound to me like just rage push!
Damnit, i maybe quit also, you know we IT guy never affraid to quit anytime from the messed up condition like this. Even though we were at the bottom level in a project, but we hold the most main key for development.
Hope he (my leader) read this rant. And can realize what happened and fix this broken situation. I don't know what to say again, im in steady mode to quit anytime if something chaos happen nearly in the future.
doNotMessWithITTeamInAFuckingProject();1 -
Last time I post my need-to-be-refactored code, I see some mean-but-useful comments.
Everyone's comments are like: "Look this stupid coder trying to be clever and write an idiotic code, let's bully him because we are better".
Ok guys, sorry for hurting your eyes, but please do it again...
I really want to know your opinion, especially on the part where I try to make the "if condition" more readable by defining some boolean variables.29 -
15 minutes
if ( very long condition here );
{ Stuff here was correct }
Error!
Shit!...
Testing all the 'stuff here'...
oh. !!
That's where the missing ones go to have fun.5 -
Oh don't know why my "if" condition never execute.
Happens very very often.
Small things are hard to find.11 -
COBOL is something I use at work. Typically, you see IF blocks like this
IF condition
Stuff
END-IF.
But the END-IF part if actually optional. You can just use a period and it does the same thing.
IF condition
Stuff.
Many headaches if not caught when reading.7 -
While getting a pro in Kotlin, I started using
when(condition) {
true -> doOneThing()
false -> {
xyz = whatEver()
blaBla()
}
}
instead of simple if-else.
It looks nice but also distracting.
What is your opinion on that?
I guess most will be like:6 -
I really dread working tomorrow. That manager and his team really have a way of demotivating me. My entire being is refusing to do even a tiny amount of work for them. I would rather work on a shitload of tasks if it's for some other team. You are the worst manager I've ever worked with so far and that's in comparison with the psycho I had in the hellhole that first introduced me to devRant back in 2018.
That one made employees cry but at least, that manager cared about her job, maybe even too much. You don't and you have your impoverished flying monkeys with slave mentality supporting you all the way. Third world mentality, am I right? You're constantly looking for developers to drag into your web of incompetence. You don't know what needs to be done and you rush and pressure someone else as soon as you're reminded of it. Dude, stop using developers as scapegoats. If I was a manager and other managers are telling me, "Please cascade this information sooner. We don't want to put unnecessary pressure on anyone." I'll take the hint that I suck, apologize, and stop dropping the names of developers as if I've given them the information a long time ago.
You fucking didn't.
I fucking hate working with you so much that even on a Sunday, I daydream of shoving your face down a deep fryer and giving you a full body massage with mercury. I've been doing all I can to improve my life and be less angry in the past few months but damn, surprise fuck-ups are the worst. I can't help but stress over the fact that this could be my life on the next months to come. I would be focusing on working for my original team and improving their process and then you'll pop out of nowhere and drag me to hell.
It's just not worth it. I'm responding to recruiters now. When I get an offer and someone tries to keep me, I'll tell them I'd stay under the condition that no one borrows me from my original team anymore. This "you have to be flexible" bullshit is just another excuse for "we have terrible managers". I really like my original team and I get excited working with them, talking to them, and discussing improvements but this manager is just too fucking much.
I read a thousand times that employees leave managers but I've never been put into a position where it's so accurate until now.2 -
I spent two weeks writing a WordPress plugin to take some form data, process it through another website, and take the result to Salesforce. the client had a "Salesforce specialist" doing everything on the Salesforce side and refused to give me access to see if the data was properly pushed through.
Finally I got it in working condition when suddenly it stopped working, I hadn't changed anything since it worked so I asked if he could have possibly changed something. We argued for over 4 hours about who changed something, the whole time I was looking for the error in my code. At 6pm I finally told him I would need to take a look at it tomorrow.
Overnight he sent me an email:
"Hey, sorry about the confusion yesterday, I set Salesforce to deny duplicate email entries, looks like once I removed that everything is working."6 -
Preparing to debug racing condition between 20 different threads.
Not looking forward to this sprint :(5 -
Tldr: hilariois scam website is hilarious
Today I saw a website that was obviously a scam, but it was quite hilarious: it said you could download an ebook and they tried to trick the user into clicking the fake download links. It was a textbook for engineering and at the botom of the page they had those fake user comments that encouraged people to du those things you are asked for after clicking the wrong download button (like entering your bank info). They described how their friends couldn't believe what an awesome book they got for free and so on and that they really loved reading it. Reading an engineering textbook. Also, and that made me lol quite hard: they discribed the condition of the book as "used with a few water marks". A fucking pdf with water marks...3 -
It was the first time I worked on a big project with a big team, I looked at the given code and copied their code style.
I finished very fast and everything was working fine, was really proud of myself. I'd like to add some logging though.
Programm failed it was heavily async and parallel so 2 days of debugging had past the whole team was on board nobody knew what went wrong there.
As I stared into the darkness of my code I suddenly saw what went wrong 😂
As I adopted no curly braces style of the Team for
If (condition)
Justine();
And I added logging above without braces everything broke 😂 it was indented properly so as a heavily python user everything looked fine2 -
1) That loud ass mother fucker sitting besides me, shut the fuck up.
2) Air motherfucking condition turned all the way to the max makes me horny and want to fuck your motherboard.
3) Illiterate assholes writing code without any comments and half assed function name just to look cool when we approach them for doubts.
4) Onsite motherfuckers enjoying their lives, taking photos of it and posting it in a monthly magazine while we s(h)it behind the fucking systems all day.
Thank-fucking-you, y'all can die suffocating in your own smelly dierraea poop.6 -
if ( condition ) {
callback(data)
}
callback(error)
--is a lot different than--
if ( condition ) {
callback(data)
} else {
callback(error)
}
callbacks are not return statements 🤦♂️10 -
!rant
Neighbouring nursing student asked me to recommend her a good laptop. I take a look at her existing one and it's an ultra book in pretty much decent condition. I ask her what her issue with this one is and turns out there's not enough space on the hard disk (30 GB SSD). I advice her to consider upgrading instead of buying a new laptop and she agrees. She also asks me if I can fix the track par of the laptop as it's not working. I take a look at the system tray and then work my computer science magic (press the fn+F9 to activate the trackpad) and boom! It's a miracle and she's squealing with delight. I even ran a disk cleanup and wiped 3Gigs of space so that she could continue downloading the episode from Netflix.
I hear a lot of you people complain about being asked to do outrageous tech shit because you're a computer person but man, I sure love being the "tech guy". :D16 -
Not really a rant, but here goes...
I want to personally thank each and every member of devRant! Here’s why. (First, a little boring backstory): I’m visually impaired, and stuck in quarantine like the rest of us. (Not totally blind, but y’all definitely DO NOT want me out on the roads driving,) I also work a Tech Support job which largely deals with macOS. Due to this eye condition, there simply isn’t a lot of shit to do while stuck in the house other than work and learn node.js. So my pastime has largely been to sit and read Facebook while not on the clock. One day, while working from home, I was so bored and pissed off, I googled “macOS fucking sucks” for fun, and found devRant! Your stories, jokes and rants have turned my life around! I’m no longer on Facebook. (I know, I know, but what’s a half-blind guy to do except read about COVID-19 and get more pissed off at the state of the world?) and you guys have inspired me to start learning new things and delve deeper into node, which I had put down for awhile (I’m at a kindergarten level anyway, brand new). Anyway, thanks again! I’ll refrain from asking stupid questions, I promise. But I need a TechSupportRant now...6 -
La me working on a new chrome extension:
- ok, this page has some hidden divs, I need to tell the extension to make windows scroll to the bottom while there are still elements with a hidden class
- creates a while(1) loop with a condition inside it to break if no elements with hidden class are longer there.
- happy with the code
- uploads the extension
- goes to page
- brings out developer tools
- goes to console
- clicks on extension on chrome
- right clicks the extension and then inspect
- ok here we go: la me click on button inside extension popup
- console shows some logs
- nice it's still looking.
.
.
.
- wait! Why is the page not scrolling ???
- looks at logs, WTF nothing changes in logs .....
- OMMMMG a infinite loop .... infinite loop inside chrome ....
- OMMMMMG my pc's gonna crash .
-stop please stop stop.
- wait! how do I stop this?
- tries CTRL+C ... nothing
- tries CTRL+Z ... nothing ...
.
.
.
.
Abort abort Aboooooort.
.
.
.
- Deletes extension from chrome.
-..... loop still running
- clicks on X to close Chrome.....
- not closing O_o
- Oh God, i need to do something before Chrome sucks all the RAM left.
- remembers the savior...
.
.
.
- Task Manager heeeelp me.
- opens Task manager
- chrome is consuming ~ 2 GB of RAM.
- WTF! Kills chrome.
Thanks for reading my lil adventure 😅5 -
#LifeRightNow
- need to find a new place and roommates to live with
- my gf's father doesn't want us to marry.
- my joint family wants to get separated.
- my boss wants me to be at our primary office ( i work remotely ) asap irrespective of anything since it is our biggest production yet.
- i am about the least productive i can be from last couple of weeks.
- going through a serious allergic condition.
#FuckMyLife8 -
Just did a transplant on my friend's phone. He dropped it one too many times, and fucked it up real bad.
We were first going to simply put his SIM card into another phone. I had an old S6 that bricked itself during an update before I really knew much of anything about phones, so I dug it out and spent a day trying to restore it with heimdall, adb/fastboot, and eventually odin when I found a laptop with windows. Unfortunately it's a Verizon phone, and because Verizon likes to keep a tight chastity belt on everything, it was pretty much impossible to unbrick. After giving up with finding a custom recovery or flashing a stock ROM, we moved to Plan B.
We took both phones apart, switched the boards, switched the SIMs, and he now has a working phone in much better condition than before he dropped it seven feet from his girlfriend's bunk.
It's always fun to make life from two dead things.3 -
Tech Lead: We need to exclude logged in user from our all users API as we don't want to show user's self card on the frontend with other users.
Me (Backend dev): This should be handled by the frontend and they should exclude it by a condition in their loop:
If (user.id != loggedUser.id)
{
// Add card
}
We also need self user at several other places.
Tech Lead: Create a query param filter for that.
Me: We should keep our APIs as generic as possible.
(Real thing starts)
Tech Lead: Which has more processing power frontend or backend?
Me (confused): Backend
Tech Lead: This will add a break to our loop and Do you know how much processing power it will take because of this condition?
Me (dead): WHAAAA....?18 -
What is the condition to join two tables ?
Programmer: primary keys match.
Non-Programmer: The tables height must match.😐1 -
Operation PiBM 5150 XT is continuing this morning!
Raspberry Pi B+ 900mhz
Raspbian Pixel Linux
LG 21:9 2560x1080 monitor
HDMI cable
/boot/config.txt updated for 21:9 monitor
Nyko PS3 USB Compact Flash / SD Reader
4gb CF card as HDD in 5150
4.77mhz IBM 5150 in like new condition
CGA Graphics and Monitor
Late 2012 Macbook Pro
HyperTerm app
USB to DB/25 (RS-232) serial adapter
Devrant Sticker5 -
This customer's dev is going to be the end of me. I had to explain to him why it doesn't make any sense to return a value after throwing an exception.
In a function that was supposed to insert a record amd return its id, in the error handling code:
catch(Exception ex) {
//logs the exception
throw ex;
return - 999; //this code will NEVER be reached, and why the f.... - 999?
}
The customer wants us to develop the project together, but he won't listen and always write whatever he wants. Some might be differences in taste. Like me preferring
if(condition) {
return a;
}
return b;
And him preferring :
Foo result = null;
if(condition) {
result = a;
} else {
result = b;
}
return result;
Ok, that I can accept. But things like the one I'm ranting about... I wont.
I'm starting to wonder what was he doing during his "9 years of coding experience"11 -
When you think the code from companies like Google and Facebook is flawless, but then you look at the source code of Parse 1.5.0 and find an if statement with the condition 'browser' === 'browser'2
-
" What's the big deal ?
It's just an if condition right ? " - Every manager / product owner ever.
And all the devs be like #facepalm !rant facepalm moments stupid people change requests doomed facepalm stupidity fml if statement idiots at work nodejs managers2 -
A fellow mate I graduated with recently asked me to help him with his interview sample coding questions. Basically he had to write a function to test different conditions using Java. I wrote the function, pushed it to git and asked him to go check it out. He told me afterwards that, my function was wrong..lol, really? (BTW, I tested it and it produced the results the company wanted)
I asked him to send me his code and all he did was write a "main", created an instant variable and passed it in a switch statement. Mind you, the test condition was big that, switch statement was the worse to use...
I told him to do whatever he wants but he should remember that the question wants a damn function given a certain input. Didn't hear from him again...then later asked me to help him with a SQL question...hah, I didn't even bother looking at the question. -
dev/ChoosingBeggars
Condition : Deadlines in 7 Hours. Submit on Class
MyClassmate : "Have you done the last Assignment?"
Me : "Technically Speaking, yes, i've done that in Python, since we need to use C, i need to Translate it first"
MC : "Can you teach me?"
Me : "I wouldn't say i won't, but it's 1 AM, time is short, need to sleep, I can give you the python code tho"
MC : "wait, so you will submit the python code without Translating it first?"
Me : "Of course not, i can translate it less than 30 minutes, i'll finish and submit it before class"
MC : "can you translate it now, so you can email that to me at <his email address>, so i can sleep now and we can submit it together this morning"
Me : "i can't tell you are serious or not, anyway, see you in class"
🤦♂🤦♂🤦♂🤦♂🤦♂ <screenshot in indonesian, just for proofs>12 -
Writing some code to sift through some demographic data. Thought I could parallelize a few calls. Now I have a race race condition...
#blackcodematters1 -
spent half an hour debugging an if statement that won't return anything but false. Apparently, the condition was:
if (check === true). and the check var was a string! so yeah, spent half an hour to realise I was checking if 'true' is true..4 -
*knock knock*
Race condition!
Who's there ?
And thaaaat's the lesson i learned today after I spent two hours staring at code, to find out that the solution was just moving an unlock_mutex() a few lines down. -
So today at the beginning of the class, our teacher asked us to write a function that translates a given string to "leet speak" (basically having to replace every character to another).
Some used python dictionnaries, some used arrays...
And the two people arround me wrote a program with a condition for EVERY SINGLE CHARACTER.
It kind of made me wanna die or kill them 😥7 -
I'm trying to explain to this dumb mf-er why we can't use send data simply.
It's a mobile platform I said, you can't rely on having network I said, the dumbass users might try it on 2% battery I said.
DO'H BUT MY INTERZ CAN DO IT IN 5 MINUTES.
Yeah, enjoy crashing the app with asynctask like a stupid bitch. When it fails under nearly every possible condition that deviates from the ideal, you can go write down how great your interns are, eat it up, shit it out and when you grow a flower from that, then I might help you again.
Retard server people.6 -
Google's new feature is to show you a quick overview of a medical condition and it's so cool, I'm having a little stiffy as a medical IT student 😍4
-
>Be client
>Have an issue with incredibly slow webpage load time
>Blame memcache issues
So... I look into the problem. Yes, the page either loads up fast, or times out. So, into the logs I go. Webserver is fine (except the timeout), PHP though... Error log is fine (just notices), but slow log shows the issue is the database (of course... its always the database... ugh)
So, checking the database, there is one ugly query that seems to be an issue. 5 joins and a huge where condition.
So I run EXPLAIN on the query and... Proceed to bang my head against the wall.
OF COURSE ITS SLOW YOU FU******, NONE OF YOUR TABLES HAVE ANY INDEXES.
What do they expect when the database has to always go down the whole table and do everything in memory, until it runs out and has to dump it all on disk and work with it there.
Ugh... Some clients... -
I need a way to explain to a coworker that nesting if statements beyond 3-4 is too much and needs to be re thought out. The dude is the biggest arrow head programmer I’ve ever seen. And he claims nothing is wrong with it, it works.. so what’s the problem.
Since we follow the rule of only one return per function he claims it’s the only way to accomplish the stuff he’s doing.. like if blah function passes... if blah function passss if blah functions passes do this then if blah functions
The if statements arnt just checking some variable conditions.. the conditions are checking returns of functions at each nested level the condition, executes a different function and thus checked for success.
Uggh I just don’t know how to explain to him it’s shit and needs to be re designed
Any ideas??20 -
When you find this in the PHP code:
if(condition) {
// code
} else {
die('horrible death');
}
Cheers to the fellow devRanter who added it and also to whoever is going to get to "else" part :D1 -
Just had to write an old-skool for loop. Index...termination condition...whole works. I feel dirty.
Bit embarrassing as someone saw me writing it, thought I was a hacker and informed the authorities. Spent the last hour being waterboarded.
We had a big laugh about it when they realized I was just fixing bugs in a legacy app.
National Security. Hilarious.10 -
Literally spent the whole day debugging a race condition that only showed up in the release build. Resolved it with a Sleep(0).
Where is my beer.5 -
My grandmother recently died and me and my brother were wondering what was to happen to her 10+ year PC (Dell optiplex 760). I could find a use for the monitor and my brother wanted to use it as a server. We asked around at the family and everyone seemed ok with that except for one guy..
Apparently the PC is still in "prime condition" running Windows 7 after an upgrade from Vista. It has 'a graphics chip or something like that' and is better than any laptop on the market right now. (I actually had my HP zBook 15 g3 with me). He claimed it wasn't some old worthless piece of junk and most family members would probably be interested in this machine.
I didn't try to argue because I realized he was not at all knowledgeable about technology and I didn't want to be disrespectful.3 -
so apparently Windows 10 Pro build... 1803? 1806? (somewhere in there) refuses to allow over 1TB of pagefile if there's more than one volume with pagefiles. The system just hangs when pagefile is used if this condition isn't met.
I know because *i'm batshit fucking insane and am trying to cram 64GB of data into a PNG in PYTHON*.
(this might also only apply to me. your mileage may or may not vary.)10 -
This is the current condition of tcs in india.
Fucking servers are busy providing sessions from 3 hours.
This is a contest organised by tcs india for college student and this was a demo round(mockvita). Just to prepare students for the real challenge.
6 hour challenge , i completed it in 3 and now when its my turn to upload the java file its showing me this fucking shit. I fucking coded for 3 hours straight and now when the shit is working, their servers just say fuck off.
Its a global contest and this shit is happening for real.5 -
I was working as an intern at small company, and after a month we signed contract
But each month they had some excuse for not paying me, or any of the employees
So I quit after 3 months without any payment
But I would not have been where I am, if I was not in that difficult condition, it made me work harder, and thought me to always keep my options open :-) -
I'm a .Net developer from Morocco, i'm currently working on an accounting software for this fucking company owned by an American boss. And i'm handling every single aspect of the project including the back-end (C#), Database (Sql Server), Reports (crystal reports, ABAP, VSTO), and design (UI, logos, animation...). For a salary of 300 USD/month, with no insurance, no transportation fees, and no fuck given about my health or my coworkers'. Not mentioning the shitty working hours and condition.
This is my first (job)9 -
People often rant about a missing semicolon,
I added an extra after if condition
if(...);{
}
Compiler can't take this as error.
Debugged the logic for hours,
Wasted a lot of time, lol5 -
When a condition is true and false at the same time...
var_dump(0 == "x"); // true
var_dump(!0 == " x"); // true
WTF?!
I started using the === more often...5 -
Fucking hate Qt.
Spent all morning trying to figure out how their bullshit QThreadPool works with their bullshit QRunnable but after a bunch of bullshit asynchronous testing I figured that my thread object was being collected and deleted before I was done with it, for no reason. Now if the race condition was documented... This wouldn't be an issue. But every google search brought up nada. Eventually I resorted to turning off autoDelete on the runnable, but then I just have a memory leak, obviously.
I couldn't find a way to manually clean up a QRunnable in Python. What the fuck.
I just went back to good old fashioned QThreads... This is why I quit Qt in the first place.18 -
Whenever I hear a developer on my team say "I think it's a race condition" all I hear is "I don't know what I'm doing"4
-
I drank too much last night. I was scared shitless since I really can't deal with hungovers and I am not supposed to drink a lot because of my stomach condition.
Mind you, for me, 8 beers is a lot(drank them in about 2 hours) and went to sleep. I was not all fucked up or anything, i was very lucid and scared of what i was going to deal with.
As i was trying to relax, my psychosis kicked in and I can swear that a little voice told me to calm down, i have been working out like if I was about to fight McGregor and my metabolism is through the roof(which is sometimes alarming) and that I will be good by morning.
Woke up at 11 feeling like a million bucks.4 -
By:Miss. Lucia Wright
Punchline : VERY IMPORTANT MESSAGE MY DEAR
Dearest Friend,
My greetings to you in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. I am sister Lucia Wright I am married to Archdeacon. Collins Wright whom until his death served as an archdeacon in the St. Micheal's archdeacon in Ivory Coast for nine years before he died in the year 2005. We were married for eleven years without a child. My Husband died after a brief illness that lasted for only four days.
Before his death we were both born again Christian. After the death of my Husband I decided not to re-marry or get a child outside my matrimonial home which the Bible is against. When my late husband was alive he deposited the sum of $22. Million in a security and finance company in London for safe keeping.
Presently, my Doctor confirmed to me that I have serious sickness which is cancer problem. The one that disturbs me most is my stroke sickness. Haven known my condition I decided to donate this fund to a church or individual that will utilize this money the way I am going to instruct herein. I want a church that will use this fund for orphanages,helping the widows, propagating the word of God and to endeavor that the house of God is maintained. The Bible made us to understand that? Blessed is the hand that giveth'. I took this decision because I don't have any child that will inherit this money and my husband relatives are not Christians and I don't want my husband's efforts to be used by unbelievers. I don't want a situation where this money will be used in an ungodly way,
this is why I am taking this decision.
I am not afraid of death hence I know where I am going. I know that I am going to be in the bosom of the Lord. Exodus 14 VS 14 says That? the lord will fight my case and I shall hold my peace'. I don't need any telephone communication in this regard because of my health hence the presence of my husband's relatives around me always. I don't want them to know about this development. With God all things are possible.
As soon as I receive your reply I will give you the contact of the security and finance were the amount sum is deposited for you to contact them, I want you and the church to always pray for me because the lord is my shepherd. My happiness is that I lived a life of a worthy Christian. Whoever that Wants to serve the Lord must serve him in spirit and Truth. Please always be prayerful all through your life.
Any delay in your reply will give me room in sourcing another church or individual for this same purpose. Please assure me that you will act accordingly as I Stated herein. Hoping to receive your reply. Due to present condition of my health,I was warned by my doctor to avoid receiving or making any call. For that,I have submitted the information of the deposit to my lawyer, As soon as I hear from you I will forward to you the lawyer's contact.
Remain blessed in the Lord,
Miss. Lucia Wright.
Well ok... If you want me to, I can surely help you out 😈😈😈😈😈6 -
A big project in my company. Had some annoying race condition that caused data to get deleted when two processes finished in the wrong order they hit the dB and override each other’s work.
Long story short. Fixed the bug and in the process the codebase shrunk by 60%. I didn’t have to delete the rest of the code, but the bug was due to a function in the legacy section of the code, and found out that it was the only function used in that section.
So I deleted it. Rewrote the function so it upserts. And bam. Smaller, cleaner code :)1 -
In an encryption-module, I had a bug, that caused my PC to crash, every time I tried to encrypt something.
Turns out, the loop, that appends
0-Bytes to the string, to make it Block-Cipher compatible,
Had an logical-bug in its exit-condition, that caused it to run infinitely and allocate an infinite amount of memory. -
Today we found out that my brother has a condition, triggered by a stressful event, that causes his heart to try and shutdown.
The dev in me is screaming "fix the bug!"
The crazy in me wants to start punching doctors in the face til we find a solution.
But the rational side of me knows there's nothing that I can do because that magical asshole in the sky didn't commented his code...3 -
Oh my god. I woke up and read stan lee was rushed to the hospital. I was actually feeling horribly sad and then I read that he was in stable condition and was like heck yeah!!! No one taking him yet.
-
When you have to made a little game with javascript, and because it's your first game you made a beautiful maze with lot of wall.
Ahahah... i'm shit.
I forgot wall have collision.
I'm here now, with 40 different fuckin' walls and much if and else if conditions.
I hate me.
Yeah i know, I can just change my maze but no... I'm lazy. Cry against the collisions is better.
Have good day.9 -
If PyTorch > Tensorflow:
print("True")
Output:
True
True
True
True
......
......
.....
True
Wait a minute? Is this a While True loop?
Doesn't look like an if condition xD3 -
Ffs
var filteredList = HugeList. Where(Condition);
if(filteredList.Count() > 0)
DoSomething(filteredList.First());
Just no. Please.10 -
Heard a story about an interview taken by one of my teammates..
The guy had approx. 9 years of experience of full stack development having current exp in JS based work.
He was stubborn on the condition that he'll work only on JS for the rest of his career and nothing else.
I can't understand people having a raging boner on one language...
P. S : I am a JS developer too!2 -
Pet peeve #1: those guys who iterate over a whole array with 'for' and 'break' on a condition. Have you ever heard of fckng 'while'??
Git source code will be the death of me.3 -
I regularly diss on PHP in office but the truth is just that the developers before me wrote bad code. It was bad code in PHP alright but they had a whole framework to use and at least organize their code better but they didn't use it.
I have seen their JavaScript code too and it was all in one file.
P.S. I have no idea under which condition they had to write the code. The app was initially outsourced.5 -
You guys upvoted a lot my previous rant and this makes me partially sorry, because it means you either witnessed or lived a situation like mine!
So to all the devs out there dealing with an awful work condition, an awful manager, awful teammates or awful wathever: stay strong and remember: you are not married to your company nor you are forced to stay there! Search for a better place, because you deserve it! (And also because happy devs make better code, if you don't believe on yourself and want one more excuse!)2 -
One more startup proposal
And
I accept it
$500
One condition
I will not maintain anything.
Plot twist : it was my toy project
Every week I will show progress.
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂6 -
"Racing condition, meet deadlock"
"Deadlock, meet racing condition"
And they were never heard from again -
Guess it's time to ditch ProtonMail as well.
Translation: "[Update Google play services.] ProtonMail won't work until you have updated Google Play Services."
I know I'm almost an anti-Google nazi at this point, but ProtonMail was one of the only remaining apps not needing Google to work, and now it's a "sin equa non" condition. I'm very disappointed. Guess I'll have to switch this address to Tutanota or host my own email server.
Edit: why the fuck would my autocorrect capitalize nazi?13 -
Yesterday, I was perf testing my small app (my first NodeJS app). I thought I'd do a small, ghetto test: bash forloop with curl and payload to be saved.
My favorite is "for i in {0..100}; do ... ; done". I start firing these bad boys in separate tabs. Everything works fine. I check the DB... Saved results: 303.
I break into sweats. Do I have a race condition? Holy shit, is my DB layer unsafe? Fuck fuck fuck.
I fire the forloop only once. Saved results: 101. FUCK.
I run the for loop for 0..10. Saved results: 11. Huh?
I promptly realize 0..10 runs 11 times. I'm a dumbass.
/Me proceeds to deploy my code to a kubernetes lab instance with https://youtube.com/watch/... playing in the back of my mind.6 -
So I just had this amazing thought
What is an operating system?
Any system that is in a working condition is an operating system5 -
Being fancy and a programmer turns the weekend into one big race condition between my grooming rituals and my code tasks.4
-
Checking out a project on GitHub:
> Using advanced condition-based AI logic, Compactor can skip over files that have been previously found to be incompressible, making re-running Compactor on a previously compressed folder much quicker.
> (Yes, it's an if statement and a trivial hash database, hush)2 -
procrastinating by getting drunk since 11:00 AM, and writing specs for my (hypothetical) language/os/platform.
feeling righteous retribution because the client made me be stressed for 3 hours due to an issue that THEY caused but for 3 hours the only info I had was "there's a critical blocker issue and we're convinced YOU caused it"
well... no... i did NOT cause the fact that you UPGRADED PHP DURING THE WEEKEND BEFORE MONDAY'S PRESENTATION TO CLIENT (while waiting for an urgent commit from me).
seriously.
also, germans. i've heard many times from other people that they're... basically racist towards us (slavic nations), thinking of us as untermensch, coal-miner peons, but I didn't realize their passive-aggressive covertly smug demanding attitude is due to this, I just assumed it's a reaction to me being incompetent.
so yesterday when we finished the call (in preparation for which I tried to switch to their "client demonstration" branch since that's where the error was, and I wanted a headstart on fixing it, ended up in a place that my today's whole-day task should be "rebuilding the DB into working condition", because there's about 10 "core" sql scripts in two different folders, which need to be run (in a very specific order, of course, which readme tells you, but what it tells you has been outdated at least for 3 months, of course), and
...THE MAIN CORE SCRIPT THAT IS THE FIRST TO RUN, THAT CREATES THE DB schema, HAS THREE SYNTAX-LEVEL typos which fail it mid-way...
...the joys of continuous deployment via scripts, I guess? I would love to challenge any person from them to screenshare to me, manual deployment of the current version from zero, and I would be willing to give the person 20% of my monthly salary if they would be able to do it within 20 minutes.
but... well...
the point is, i should be doing not entirely bullshit stuff.
but yesterday's 6 hours of being in "at full attention because it seems we fucked up" totally convinced me, that today I'm taking a break.
So I'm gonna go buy another 3 beers and continue writing the specs of my dream language/os/platform.19 -
Why for fucks sake can't I motivate myself to finish my thesis?
I mean I guess it is because I already got my third raise in my current (full-time) job because of hard work, which left not much time for side projects (or thesis writing).
On top of that, there is nothing which forces me to finish. My Prof. does not really care. I would probably not earn more because of a higher degree. Only thing is I have to pay the fee for enrolment once a semester.
Also, going back to my thesis project after some time, and having to upgrade all the npm modules in there does not help.
Even though I already have a working backend and proof-of-concept app, something blocks me from finishing all this work.
It is a curse. I would do so many side projects, but I tell myself that I first have to finish my thesis before doing anything else.
It is some kind of loop and I have yet to find the return condition.3 -
!dev but definitely a rant.
Ordered a lovely new UHD HDR tv for the family on Monday.
MFW I see the courier is Hermes (notoriously bad).
It arrived today.
Any guesses as to the condition it was in?
Yep. Lovely crack on the screen.
Took all day to clear it up with Amazon.
And the best they could bloody do was a refund, but I have to organise the collection and pay for that (which they said they’ll refund).
FFS.1 -
A continuation of the worst idiot that I worked for, in possibly the worst project of the world. ( The guy who said youtube watching doesn't cost data, downloading the videos offline does)
Guy sends me a template for a patent application.. I ask him why, and he's all secretive until he takes me into a meeting with the patent officers of the organization to reveal his grand plans.
Here goes his idea. He wanted to file a patent for a sonar made for large vehicles in India. His idea was that people in India are used to overtake busses while they turn and they are overrun by the large vehicles. True to some extent but a completely overkill solution for a minor issue that could be solved by educating the masses. I try to explain this to him, and he's pissed off. Starts throwing random, made up stats at me saying 2000 people die everyday on every street. I'm like WHAT??? I look at the patent officer, and he gives me that "don't look at me dude, I'm just here for any questions about the patent process" look. He's busy doodling in his notebook while I try everything possible to invalidate the stupid idea my client has barfed all over the meeting room and the attendants. I even bring out the technical challenges leaving aside the practicality of the nonsense. I asked him how to distinguish between a pedestrian, a parked vehicle, a dog, a cow.. To which he responds with an on the spot thoughtless answer. Heat signatures!! In 5 minutes we went from sonar to heat maps in a tropical country such as India.. He now wants a hybrid solution.
He was about to start yelling when I caved in on the condition that I want nothing to do with the idea after I finish the patent application.. Made up some document and sent it to the asshole, only to never hear about it again.. Thank god for that.. R&D my ass..7 -
Working with LEGAL is the worst!
They say yes to all reviews and once it's in prod they want to completely change the whole thing cause they think every user reads the Terms & Condition!
To be honest I deployed 5 times. I have not read that shit once!1 -
One time someone decided to make a "Condition Checking Framework" so you could check conditions at runtime using pre-configured XML files.
...yeah, someone made XML based if statements.
...they were very proud.
...4 -
Once upon a time i had a great idea.
Because i couldnt be bothered to do anything productive i created a simple app in the C# that would look into every .js file (from a game that uses it for the gui/main menu) and search for "//todo" lines.
I did it mostly for kicks. I got that idea when i encountered one //todo in a file when i was trying to mod that game.
Yes i know grep exists: fuck you.
It would have taken me more time to learn that than to write that 20 line program...
The result? Over 30 lines of //todo with some briliant pearls in the type of:
>Temp workaround because X
>Workaround for race condition
>Clean that up
>Obsolete
When i return home i will post real quotes. They might be amusing to read...
The game is based on a custom C++ engine. HTML, CSS and JS is used for main menu and some graphical interface in game.
The most amusing thing is that this inefficient sack of chicken shit is powering one of the biggest (no playerbase but unit, world, gameplay vise) rts that i have ever played.
But still in spite of a dead community, buggy gui as shit and other problems i love this game and a lot of other people love it too. It is a great game when it works correctly.
To the interested: JS portion uses jquerry and knockout lib.14 -
I am a Technical Lead in the department in my company that writes code for our clients that have money but doesn't have the technical expertise to handle the complexities of our own software.
Part of my tasks involve taking care of a few projects written by employees that have left after using third-party tools rather than using our own software. No one else in this department knows these third-party tools, they only know our own, and my *still limited* web development experience means I get dumped these things in my lap.
And I'm SO pissed at these projects and their authors and the manager that let these ex-employees write these things. There is this one project that was managed by two different "developers" (I don't know they deserve this title) at two different times, and it is so riddled with different technologies it makes me want to throw up almost daily.
Don't believe me? Here is a complete list of the dependencies listed in the package.json of this project: babel-polyfill, body-parser, cookie-parser, debug, edge, edge-sql, excel-to-json, exceljs, express, html-inline, jade, morgan, mssql, mysql, pug, ramda, request, rotating-file-stream, serve-favicon, webpack, xlsx, xml2js
What this doesn't even show, is that one part of this project (literally one page) is made using react, react-dom, react-redux, and jade. The other part (again literally one page) is made using Angular and Pug. In case you missed it while picking up your jaw, there's also mssql, mysql, edge and edge-sql. excel-to-json, exceljs, xlsx.
Oh you want *more* juicy details? This project takes the entire data object used by the front-end, stringifies it into JSON, and shoves it into the database *as a single field*. And instead of doing WHERE clauses in the SQL queries, it grabs the entire table, loops, parses the json, and does a condition on it. If even one of those JSON entries gets corrupted, the entire solution breaks because these "developers" don't know what try/catch is.
The client asked for a very simple change in their app, which was to add a button that queries the back-end for a URL, shows it in a modal dialog, after which a button is clicked to verify the link by doing a second query to the back-end before modifying a couple of fields in the page.
This. Took. Me. Two. Months*. Save me. Please, save me.
*between constant context switches between this and other projects that were continuously failing because of their mistakes.4 -
My biggest influence on coding style is working with other people's code. I know the temptation to write "clever" code and I've been (and probably still occasionally am) guilty of it myself, but it's not until you have to debug someones oneliner iterator which has !(i-j) as the stop condition that you start to appreciate dumb, boring, obvious code.
If having a series of if checks in a long list makes it readable, keep it that way. If it makes it more readable to rewrite it into a nested switchcase with a couple of ternary bits, go ahead. Just don't spend half a day wrapping it up into two layers of abstraction that will require an onboarding process for the rest of the team.2 -
Furiously added an entry to the company glossary today:
Process Vortex
State of being, in which a developer struggles fruitlessly to deliver value through working code, finding their efforts beset on all sides by process considerations.
Ultimately, the developer achieves nothing but to mentally cycle through a dazzling merry-go-round of process rules and Jira updates.
Left untreated, this condition can quickly degenerate into Atlassian Madness.
Usage
Manager: Another code-tastic day in front of the IDE? How's progress on those sweet algorithms we talked about last week?
Developer: Nah, the Delivery Manager threw me into a Process Vortex, I've been trying to climb out all day.
Manager: Eesh - good luck with that!1 -
/** Null until this web socket is connected. Used for writes, pings, and close timeouts. */
private ScheduledExecutorService executor;
Dear boys and girls.
If you ever do this again and release this as a public library (even better - an official client of your solution, e.g. kuber-fucking-netes), I will get my way into dR's gateway servers, trace down your IP in nginx's logs, find your location, probably use some means to get your first and last name (you prolly have a domain registered under your IP anyways...), buy a ticket to your town, get to your home and wait for night to fall. Once it's dark and you're asleep, I'll make sure to leave a real nice, warm and extraordinarily smelly turd on your doorstep (I'll also make sure the process of manufacturing that gem is as noisy as it gets - you just have to bend the right way, and....).
Gents. If you really, REALLY want to make writes asynchronous, at least provide a way to either get a notification once the write is synchronized, or allow the user to handle the threads/executors himself!
https://youtube.com/watch/...5 -
When devs clash:
-See, I've got this *condition* where myDick() is bigger than yourDick(), so Try{} me and see what you Catch{}2 -
I'm working as an intern in a company and i have another intern that i must supervise (it like internception) .here is my daily nightmare :
- To start this intern never google something she copy paste from my code and if she got an error she send me a screenshot . Once the error message clearly said "cannot call function from array" and even that she didn't know what's the problem (she was supposed to it on array items)
-Before we started working together she spent a week complaining that a sending email function didn't work for her so the manager called me to check what's her problem. She had an antivirus that blocked request via ssl port.all i had done is open the log file and read the errors.
- She had a function should iterate over an array and for each item check a condition this is a part of what she wrote :
For ($i=0;count($categories);$i++){
if ($getrelativepath=null)
{
....etc other stuff she copy pasted.
Ps: the name of the function that she must call on array items is getRelativePath
- she wrote once
$response=array();
for (...){
array_push($response,$data[$i]);
return $response;}
She thought the function can iterate and return response at the same time.
- we are working on a website and she told me she doesn't know how to code Javascript and jquery (she think it's a language) and she never knew what ajax is.
- without mentioning the hundreds of empty spaces and multiple empty divs in html .
This year she'll become a computer science engineer .6 -
Soooo
I'm a fresh out-of-college CS grad (in his early twenties) working at a small scale startup and the people in my Engineering team are at least 10 years elder to me. (this is my first job out of school -- ignoring the internships and such)
I have a tough time making friends with them and an even tougher time making conversation which I think is hurting my communication skills in a harmful way.
Don't get me wrong.. because they are so highly experienced engineers, I get to learn a lot more a lot faster and I love that part but I just feel like I don't laugh or talk enough at my office (otherwise, people have to tell me to shut up).
I mean when everyone is not plugged in with headphones and cranking the keyboards, they talk about their wives, kids, and stuff that I have no relation to. Like I know a lot about childbirth and car seats but except being shocked etc., I often don't have much to add to the conversation.
Also, on top of this, after looking at the sorry condition of people throughout my undergrad and my internships, I had decided to not get into the habit of drinking coffee. So, when they go on coffee breaks etc. they don't ask me if I want to come along and the times that I kind of forced myself to come along turned out to be kind of awkward and not something I'd wanna experience again.
What do you recommend? Understand that I absolutely love my job and I love learning so much around such intelligent people but I don't have fun at work. Is this Dev life or am I missing something?
Do you have any recommendations or similar stories of how you overcame this problem?5 -
Guess what below if condition evaluates to true in javascript
-- and they say Javascript is beautiful 🙃🙃
if(test == 7 && test == 9 && test == 11) {
console.log('Hello World!');
}4 -
So I'm in a meeting with the Company director where I'm contracting for a few months. She is explaining the company history, goals etc. I can feel my eyes drooping, my head tilting and my body sloooowly sliding of my chair. Im literally fighting to stay awake. She is about to explode and go crazy BUT the business manager flies in explains to her that I have a medical condition known as narcolepsy...meaning I could be half way through a conversation and I fall asleep and it's not anything more than that
....When she said my name is thought to myself yep I'm outta here...4 -
Yes, they given all of us plastic chairs for sitting 36 hr instead of been bag. Wow you can imagine the condition of our back. They also don't know the password which they created for guest...
-
I once tried to create a client for the fonds bank of Frankfurt. But I didn't expect their JSON API to be designed by a trainee.
Look at the API.
Stringified numbers, decimal commas (Germany), separator dots for thousands, and even one breaks as if it came from a pjp script where they just put an if condition in each line.
I documented the API and tried to create a Jax rs client, but stopped completing it. Not useable atm. Just look at what I spoofed.
https://github.com/bmhm/...7 -
I have a medical condition where my palms sweat too much. I can't use touchscreens for a very long time. I really hope there is a product that makes touchscreens hyper sweat friendly. It's annoying and embarrassing. :/3
-
Damn race condition! I know you're hiding in there, just waiting for the morning to arrive and shit my day.
-
Someone just explain me why. I really can't figure other reason that beeing too lazy to think a condition while writing a "while loop".
At university, a colleague asked me what i think of his code. I see something like that:
while ( 1 ){
...
if (condition)
break;
...
}
Am I a fucking genius thinking that just moving condition into while will improve readability, or am i a fucking stupid ? Really not the first time seeing this, maybe i am missing something.4 -
Probably one of the sweetest bugfixes is when you can solve random application freezes by rearranging the operands in the if() condition :)
if (isCondition1() && isCondition2()) {...} // freezes the app
if (isCondition2() && isCondition1()) {...} // works just fine6 -
Yo vim what the fuckin fuck.
I like vim, i try to use it as much as possible since i feel more confident with just using a keyboard BUT WHAT THE FUCK.
I am developing an application to improve my python skills and I chose vim to do so. I made some “big” changes today to it using vim. Every time i made a change that i had to test, i was saving it with :w and then running it on my second screen. All good until now.
Then i wanted to make a minor change using vscode because i thought it will be easier there. Anyway, i used :x, opened vscode AND MY CHANGES WERE REVERTED to the first condition my file was when I opened it today.
Vim is awesome, maybe it was all my bad, but how the hell did that even happen?2 -
I've seen some posts on remote work. I believe all companies should permanently implement remote work if they cannot arrange a proper office.
I have been working for a company where programmers and project managers work in the same room, and sometimes I was trying to understand some problem in code when managers were screaming next to me at other developers or on the phone, because they couldn't hear themselves.
This happend so often that I would literally go home burned out.
Also there were people coming in the room to talk to the managers or just passing next to my screen every couple of minutes which was extremely distracting.
I bought a pair of over ear noise cancelling headphones and on top of that used ear plugs, but eventually I developed a very strange stress condition over the course of a year. Also listening to music while trying to focus for 8 hours a day while at work is very tiresome.
Also couldn't quit because it was my first job.1 -
As nobody's ranted about it yet per search results on dR: XXXTENTACION was shot in a supposed drive-by and is now hospitalized in an unknown/unconfirmed state. A witness also reported him not having a pulse
https://daytondailynews.com/enterta...
https://variety.com/2018/music/...7 -
This condition over here which is never supposed to be true sometimes becomes true, no one know how or why, just change it manually in prod whenever that happens...
-
Got 'em stickers woohoo! All the way from Philippines. Letter got wet in the rain but the stickers are in good condition. Thanks devRant!4
-
Stack overflow is full of useless assholes, like I asked a specific question about a problem I am having that is similar to another problem that exists but it is not the same at all in terms of how to fix and instead of helping I’ve got 2 downvotes on it and a comment linking me to a completely unrelated stylistic based question based on something I SAID I HAD ALREADY TRIED CHANGING IN MY QUESTION!!! Here’s my question btw in case anyone can help here before I smash up my laptop 😑:
I have a piece of code in which I am trying to read in words which have been categorised using a number and then placed in a text file in the following format "word-number-" with a new line for each word. However, despite not mixing cin>> and getline and having tried a number of methods I still cannot get it working.
So far I have attempted using a cin.ignore() call to clear any '\n' char's from the buffer, as well as checking if the file is opening in the first place (it is), and using the >> operator instead throughout my code however I could not get that working either. When I place the get line call inside the condition of the while loop, the while loop doesn't run, however when I make the while loop condition a .eof() call it will run once however when I try to print the text that has been read from the getline call it just prints a blank line.
if(file.is_open()){
while(!file.eof()){
getline(file, text, '-');
count++;
cout<<count<<endl;
cout<<text<<endl;
if(count%2 == 1){
wordBuff = text;
}else if(count%2 == 0){
if(stoi(text) == wordClass){
wordList.push_back(wordBuff);
}
}
}
file.close();
}
While I recognise there are a lot of other questions on this out there I cannot seem to get any of their solutions to work and the vast number being related to people mixing the >> operator and getline doesn't help, so any tips or solutions will be of great help -
F*ck software updates..
So while working today, one of the IT support guy came and asked to update my windows machine due to some stupid company 'security policy' they were following .. That update took more than 3hrs.. The reason it took so long because I somehow managed to avoid any updates for 6-8 months.
But that is not the end of the story... Windows update was followed by a bios update, some softwares, and at this point I just gave up and went for a cup of coffee, and left my machine locked in a drawer still updating and it will stay in this condition until tomorrow.. We'll see if something breaks after updating.
F*ck why are there so many updates and why each of them requires a f*cking reboot...
Productivity today was less than the number of side projects I completed. 😪6 -
Coolest project I'll continually be working on.
http://jimquessenberry.com
Selling my Dad's famous BBQ sauces and rubs has been my hobby and passion for years. I'm lucky that my Dad was a computer enthusiast in the 1980's and also had a knack for marketing himself. All the while also being a somewhat famous character in the pioneering sport of competition BBQ cooking.
My brother and I shared the following machines growing up:
Commodore 64 w/ 2 Disk Drives, VicModem, & Tape Drive
Tandy 1000 Original Radio Shack IBM PC Clone
IBM 5150 w/ 20mb Hard Drive Expansion (Still Have This In Near Mint Condition)
Tandy 1000 RSX 386 with Win 3.11 For Networks
A Homebuilt Pentium 90 MHz Tower with Soundblaster and 16bit onboard video.
All that time on those machines learning various flavors of BASIC and crude graphic design got me where I am today.
That and learning how to BBQ... ;)8 -
Them: "We need you to do this thing this way because it isn't possible to do the right way."
Me: ... *codes script that works the right way*
Them: "But it was actually this other thing we didn't say anything about that isn't possible."
Me: ... *codes script with new condition, still works*
Now repeat daily for 2 weeks and we may get to where I don't just silently provide a working script.
Maybe I should have just done it the wrong way to begin with? -
TD;DR: I have school instead of vacation but 5 hours of spare time. I got my laptop with me and I'll work in school.
I didn't want to take part of the course-trip with the 12th graders (my course sucks, there are too many assholes for the neutral people to compensate). After speaking with the director, and the only condition was to tell the course why. I did deliver them a nicely put "fuck you, you bullied my only friend out of this school" and now is the time where I visit the 11-graders while the other 12-ers are on "school vacation".
I got a "new" plan for the courses I should visit. Today, Wednesday, I have 5 FUCKING FREE HOURS IN A ROW. Oh yes, baby, the teacher generating the plan hates me as well. (He really does but it's probably just unlucky not his fault).
So today, I decided, I would take my heavy-ass laptop with me, in a laptop bag, which doesn't fit into the school bag I have and my laptop doesn't fully fit in the laptop bag as well (sticks out), that's the perks of having a laptop!!
— so I can work on my (I wanna say this once in my life without being a professional) "CLIENTS PROJECT" - the funny thing is that the client is a (really fucking good but small) advertising agency and too lazy to design their own website. Since I had my internship, they know how hard I *can* work even without being payed. Now they do wanna pay me but that's another story.
I'm on the bus and I have this monster of a bag which isn't lighter than a freaking huge bag of rice and I'm so fucking excited for this day. The library is my best friend. Hopyfully I'm going to find a socket for power..
Sorry for so many commas, I'm german. :D3 -
I'll reply to your long email if I'm going poop. This permutation of events is a necessary condition.2
-
Do you prefer?
var foo = true;
if (some condition){
var foo = false;
}
Or
if (some condition){
var foo = false;
}
else{
var foo = true;
}9 -
After weeks of burning the candle at both ends you finally get a good night's sleep.
You wake up and either have a skin condition or a beard had grown and you didn't notice. All joints sound like a bowl of rice crispies when you move and you're seriously beginning to identify with Rip Van Winkle. -
Some time I just love comments that are brain twisters.
```
( [ helpers.must_not(helpers.prefix("response", "10")) ] if _type=="detractors" else [] ) )
# Above line prevents the condition 10 is 1 but 1 is not 10 making 10 is 10 and 1 is 1 and 1 is not 10
```1 -
What do people like more?
if(condition){
return true;
} else{
return false;
}
Or just
if(condition){
return true;
}
return false;7 -
After a few months of working in an actually well coded project, I'm back in the one where I find abominations like this every day:
boolean result=false;
<do stuff>
if(<condition>){
<do stuff>
return true;
}
<do stuff>
return result;
Do they even read their code before submitting? -
" Under the hood... the program is using a mix of condition-based learning, procedural generation of sentences/questions, and relational queries based on weighted 'topic' identifiers. It can create its own original statements and questions. It is real-time, and it really does 'think' (an internal dialogue feedback loop)." = If Statement
I saw this in the description for an app aclled "Real AI" -
Someone tell me should I just give up because I'm stupid and simple shit escapes me or tell me bro calm the fuck down the guy is full of shit...
Dude says he can't verify 3rd statement in a nested IF - elseif logic because the third check for a false condition is the True condition in the first 2 statements.
So
If (mode) = manual and then
Data(g) /= Status1
Or else Data(g) = Invalid
Then
Do this thing that sounds cool
Elsif
Data(g) = Status1
And then Data(g) /= Invalid
Then
Do something else equally cool
Elsif (mode) /= manual
and then Data(g) /= Invalid
and then Data(g) /= Status1
Then
Do some less cool stuff
end if4 -
> Finally write some wicked code that fixes a weird race condition bug we’ve had for two weeks now
> xCode breaks for absolutely no reason on a build so we can’t release a new version
🤦♀️1 -
So first rant, here goes weirdness, and also lengthy rant
So in my company we have the hr and accounting managed by the same person which also deals with all things employee related and she had a need for a way to extract a birthday from, what is in our country the personal identification number, things go great i get a formula that performs parts of the magic up to the point where the first digit of the number dictates the gender and century to be used when forming the full year, mind you only the last two digits of the year are in plain within the id number so i thy a number of ideas. After bashing around google sheets for a while ( i've got open office installed and formulas don't export well to the excel that person uses but google sheets does so i built it there).
First idea : make a few conditionals to check for the value so we have 1 and 2 for 19th century, 3 and 4 for 18th century , 5 and 6 for 20th so i go ahead and write my conditions and they fail, all evaluates to false, it cascades through the else variants up to the last one so i'm wondering if the "if" itself doesn't support the or operator, seems it does, next i think it's the bloody condition written wrong so i reevaluate my logic in php in a test script, it works as intended, then i think ok not the right function called, let's see the docs, docs confirm i'm doing it right but what was wrong was the way i was getting that first number, using left seems to produce a string although the base thing is a number, now i start searching how i can cast it, like you would normaly do when the data type is fried, value function appears to be the solution but it isn't working....now i'm thinking "ok so i have a value and different things to print out so let's look for a switch, maybe it can understand that" switch function found under the form of choice, i get it sorted but am stuck wondering why the heck was the if and value combination not working.
Simple answer to that : value doesn't work well with function results, a known bug listed by someone in a comment, a comment i have failed to read for about 45 minutes of trying to understand.
All in all it worked well for the person asking for it so it's nice. -
one more time, I proud of my team and MD too.
XYZ is our office boy. He completed his BSc IT from 3rd Grade college due to family condition and lack of knowledge, he has to work as an office boy.
So my team decided to teach him web development. We are starting it from very basic. We get total 1:30 hours of a lunch+snack's break so each one of us will give 1-day to teach him but It is not free. We will need good coffee in this deal. Our MD like this idea and promised us that once we gave him a green signal. He can do his first internship here. -
I meet a CEO of a company. Having attitude like he knows everything. And give speech on any topic. But speech won't match the topic at any condition.
I meet him I asked what project do u have and all.... He showed me some website projects... With source code it was fine to me...
The thing is before showing the website project. I asked him in which backend language Website are developed...
Answer: php. I ohh php ok.
And he suddenly replied we have also used HTML & CSS.. 😵 😵 I was shocked I thought wtf?? how can a website can be developed without HTML & CSS...3 -
I am currently writing a software product for NHS patients and one of my tables was named 'condition'... guess who lost 2 hours of debugging...5
-
TL;DR: There was a Steam bug and I fixed it locally.
Some months ago, Steam had the problem, that if you tried to add anything from the Steam Workshop to a collection, you would get an error like "Process failed: 2", while it was loading the collection list.
I realized, that it would work, but there was a bug in the JS (Watched the network tab in chrome while trying to add to collection). I searched after "Process failed" in each js file and after 30 seconds I found the buggy if. It said something like
if (json.success != 2) {
//do error
} else {
//show list
}
After I changed that if condition to
if (false)...
it worked perfectly, although it would make problems if there would be a server side error.2 -
Not a rant but a question/style.
What do you prefer and why?:
if(condition)
vs
if (condition == true)
and
if (!condition)
vs
if (condition == false)
vs
if (condition != true)19 -
DevRant might not be a perfect place for that question but what the hell.
This is a question for people that do side projects, not only programming but electronic and mechanical as well. If you are a student even better.
(I dont wanna discourage non students but i have limited resources here...)
So the question:
While making a project have you ever had a problem where a limited access to tools was the problem?
(maybe tools was here but nobody wanted to borrow you because of paperwork or some bs.)
I mean that you had a idea or was in middle of a project and you didnt finished/(finished but in crappy condition) because lack of proper tools didnt allow you to?
I realy need your opinion on that subject, i have a nice idea i just have to test the waters.
And please tell me if you are a student or not.8 -
Bad coding style:
bool condition = false;
if(condition) { /* enough whitespace so that braces appear offscreen in editor*/ }{
std::cout << "hahahahaha" << std::endl;
}6 -
So.. i have been doing internship with a good startup for last 2 months. It was supposed to be a 3 month internship and then maybe a job offer. I accepted this , but with a disclaimer that i will be taking leaves for exams.
They looked like they didn't liked this condition, saying "we won't be giving pay for those days" , "you will need your manager's approval", etc, but later i took 5-6 continuous leaves for my papers and my manager( aka the ceo) wouldn't even read my approval mail ( i did got deductions for those leaves tho, but i was fine with it )
Now the situation is that my final end term exams are coming up. They are supposed to go on for 15 days somewhere in December beginning, but i also need an extra 10-15 days to cover the syllabus for it. Apart from those, there are other college stuff like Second Sessionals, internal practicals ,minor project report submission , etc are also coming up, that are supposed to take anywhere from 1 to 5-6 continuous days in the first weeks of November.
So i asked my company for 2 months of leave to handle my college environment. The tasks assigned to me are incomplete , but i am well versed in those and might complete it if i had more time. I gave them an option that i will resume my work from January and complete my 3 months of internship ( i currently am about to complete 2 months , November would have been the 3rd) , but they said that they are "freeing me" in the October only ( i guess this means that my internship is being terminated and am off from company's payroll). They also asked me to contact company once all exam stuff is over, but yesterday i got suddenly removed from the company's slack group. I am not sure how to look at this.
They have also asked me to prepare a report on what i have done. Now i can send them a report like what i would have given to my college : containing more useless info and a few points on my work . Or i could provide them with a deep report on what i did each day, what are the bugs , what are the resources that i found , what are the things that need to be enhanced, links to important groups and people... Etc . I have so much of information that i fear they might hire someone else to complete all stuff that i have started and my material would give him a kickstart.
But on the other hand , it was their office that i worked in, their ideas that i built upon, so i feel a moral obligation to provide all assistance to my replacement.
What should i do?
(tldr : company asking for a report on work you did during internship that was supposed to be converted to job . wwyd?)8 -
I give up. I am having trouble understanding Go lang *, & stuff.
attached code does print what fmt.Println has, but the function calling: FindByID is throwing invalid memory address or nil pointer when it attempts to use the result of the code.
Can someone please explain where I'm wrong?
Error log blames the line of "if" condition even though fmt does print its output to console16 -
Process forking, signal handling, socket communication and race conditions. If I smoked I would have gone through a carton today.
-
When you test your code, it passes all 100 tests & still shits in the rehersals of a competition 😌 Only because I wrote a wrong if condition🔥
-
I am just student looking for job, and got this pre interview test:
Develop an Android or iOS app with login and password input field, download button, place for image we prvided.
... reading further:
What we are looking for in the code ?
internal quality:
-consistent formatting of the source code
-clean, robust code without smells
-consistent abstractions and logical overall structure
-no cyclic dependencies
-code organized in meaningful layers
-low coupling and high cohesion
-descriptive and intention-revealing names of packages, classes, methods etc.
-single small functions that do one thing
-truly object-oriented design with proper encapsulation, sticking to DRY and SOLID principles, without procedural anti-patterns
-lots of bonus points for advanced techniques like design patterns, dependency injection, design by contract and especially unit (or even functional or integration) tests
external quality:
-the app should be fully functional, with every state, user input, boundary condition etc. taken care of (although this app is indeed very small, treat it as a part of big production-ready project)
-the app should correctly handle screen orientation changes, device resources and permissions, incoming calls, network connection issues, being pushed to the background, signing deal with the devil :D and other platform intricacies and should recover from these events gracefully
-lowest API level is not defined - use what you think is reasonable in these days
-bonus points if the app interacts with the user in an informative and helpful way
-bonus points for nice looks - use a clean, simple yet effective layout and design
... I mean really ? and they give me like 2 days ?4 -
I once sat hours over a bug I couldn't understand until I finally saw the '!' in the condition. I started to use triple '!!!' for a while to avoid overseeing them.
If (!!! enabled) {// like really really not enabled
enable() ;
}2 -
A videogame that I play has an achievement for getting all the achievements.
Has a developer, this just reads as an always false condition.1 -
From: https://cloud.google.com/vpc/docs/...
---
Updating firewall rules:
You can modify some components of a firewall rule, such as the specified protocols and ports for the match condition. You cannot modify a firewall rule's name, network, the action on match, and the direction of traffic.
If you need to change the name, network, or the action or direction component, you must delete the rule and create a new one instead.
---
REALLY???? goddamn delete and create a new rule to damn changing even its name???
And they wonder why their goddamn cloud won't take off? hell... how can this even be a Google product!!??5 -
According to project manager :
You will just write an 'if' and two 'for' condition in the code. That's it. 😉
According to developer :
Should I code that generically. 🙄
According to software architect :
Change those variable names. And also that code was written huge unexpectedly, you must move this another service.🤔
According to DB Admin :
Put on an index this table. 🤬😠 -
So I found a bug in Azure's alerting platform that means we cannot use response time as a condition.
A month down the line after having raised a support ticket, recreated the bug multiple times in different resources, being told a fix had been made, bouncing emails around to supervisors and having the case moved to other people they finally have come back to me saying they have the real fix.
Done with it5 -
I've just realized that I am too damn annoyed when somebody touches my workspace without me knowing. It's not right to flip out that easy and probably it's about my current mental condition.
And the thing is I'm more annoyed due to knowing that. Ironic.2 -
I see a lot of people ranting about programming exams on paper. I acknowledged that not having a texteditor is not ideal. But not having a compiler is essential in testing the students programming skills in the first few courses.To many students are completely dependent on the compiler.
Syntax:
Some students writing C++ code have to try to build their program as many times they have lines because of all the syntax errors they make. Why think about all the ; if your compiler will tell you where they are missing?
Computational thinking:
As a programmer you should be able to look at (your own) code and be able to tell what the result should be. Of course this has its limits, but in the small exam questions they get in the first few courses they should be able to do that. To many first year students write a for loop without thinking about the starting value and the end condition. With the repeated process of running the program, changing the starting value or the end condition randomly they eventually get to the loop they need.
I think people underestimate the value of an exam without being able to compile or run your program. But I like to hear your reactions. -
The condition of software development in 2019: “Please don’t apply if you don’t have the core concepts of programming, and you depend upon copying and pasting the code from StackOverflow/saved file.”2
-
Ever given access to production data to correct a data entry that doesn't have a PATCH api ready?
Ever ran UPDATE table set COLUMN="value"; without WHERE condition?
Ever done both of these sequentially?
Yeah. DB snapshots cost a bomb to restore :( -
At work, we had a problem in a group, Have to temporary leave an if() condition not finished, and of course i'm smart, i wrote if(0 == 0) instead of //if()
Yup, that was the only one fun moment of the day. Plz kill me -
When your co-worker thinks he's funny by adding a semicolon at the end of a condition resulting in a way too long bug search...1
-
I have not been able to work for quite some time already due to a chronic condition getting worse. Even when I have been at work I wouldn't get anything done due to chronic pain (a literal pain in the ass), so this year hasn't been very fun so far. I cannot sit nor stand for extended periods of time. I just want to be able to work again! :C8
-
A few days ago I took some time off at short notice to help someone close to me with their medical condition.
On the same day the CEO of the company made a request that only I could've fulfilled out of 12 devs so yesterday I was reprimanded for it.
Why don't companies do something to actively increase the bus factor on projects? -
The most I have worked on something is 14 hours. It was for a university project, that involved creating a "banking" app that was intended to demonstrate the use of an SQL database. I had a partner, and we had done nothing about the project until the previous day. We started working at 5 PM and the demonstration was at 12 PM (noon) in the next day. We used PostgreSQL for the database, and C# and Windows forms for the GUI. My partner took on the database creation and I took on the GUI. I had minimal experience with C# and had never worked with Windows forms or DB bridging in a program. On top of it, lack of sleep hits me really hard, so by midnight I was just like a zombie with near zero focus capacity. As a result, I ended up rewriting numerous components with identical logic and appearance and some different elements that could be parameterized, simply because organizing my thoughts to write proper code was out of the question in my condition. The writing, debugging, testing and packing of the project ended at 7 AM, the morning of demonstration. I slept for 3 hours and then met with my partner and headed to uni. I never left a project for the last moment again. We ended up taking a 9/10 grade.1
-
#define someError ( -1)
int func(params *param)
{
//some code
if(condition)
{
someError ;
}
}
Spent like half and hour on debugger thinking why the fuck does it skip my statement. My manager who was passing by saw me puzzled and asked if he could help, so we spent another 10 minutes without success(tho my manager is technical guy but he had an unlucky moment I guess). Eventually senior manager saw our wtf faces and asked what is going on, it took one question for me to light the bulb "someError is a macro right?"
I guess you can imagine my embarrassment at that moment..
PS: Forgot return keyword before the error code. -
What's the funniest, coolest, programmer slang you've heard?
I love the Rubberduck, and Yoda Condition.. cracks me up :P3 -
Freaking coding conventions...
Just chose something and stick to it.
How hard can it be?
Apparently this hard:
if(condition){
//SomeCode
}
else
//SomeCode1 -
Been debugging a sp in oracle from 2 days a fucking sp of 2000 lines to see why it was not not giving desirable result. Turns out a fucking variable had a null value which was always satisfying the greater than condition an fucking up the flow. The fucking sp is being used since ages and nobody fucking noticed i mean what the actual fuck. And also the fucking indentation of the code how the fuck are u supposed to know which if ends where i mean come on put some fucking comments to your fucking code if u are gonna make it like it is gonna be the ultimate fucking sp which is being used god only know how many places.
-
I knew concurrency is *bad*, but *that* bad‽, just shocked: https://blog.bugsnag.com/bug-day-ra...2
-
I want to create a condition on my webpage that only when a user is a YouTube subscriber he/she can make downloads.
Someone have any idea how i could do that? 🤔 I tried github and stack overflow but had no success
I looked on github, but had no success.11 -
If you have a blog, How do you decide what to write and publish on it? And, How do I motivate myself to write posts?
Context: I created my blog/website on 29 September 2017. I had a few ideas on writing blog posts(Condition variables in Go, Serverless related stuff and a whole bunch of posts related to wireguard) but every time I have tried write a post, I learn there is someone else who has already written a post on it and probably better than what I could have done, So what is really the point of writing it? And, I feel very insecure about writing posts, I feel like, If I do write a post, every one will know, I don't know anything about **anything**. :( I know about imposter syndrome, But I don't think I have that. I work with a lot of realllly smart people and I don't know as much as them. So, I am actually an imposter.
edit: I am usually active on Telegram, IRC and I try to help out people. It's easier for me to help people in communities like that but doing the same thing with a blog makes me very uncomfortable.2 -
About a month ago, we got more than 50% of the employees laid out. I got lucky and got to tje graces of the managers and secure my job. Now I am thinking aboit continuing my works on the current company. They talk about family but doesnot give a shit about their employee. Maximum politics on higher level. But the ower doesnot know a thing about it. Working on a kind of dead language without the small security on the job. Most of you will save switch language and shit. I am not in exactly switching mode. Condition is so worst that i could not afford a computer for myself, even for EMI. Loans and being the only working person of the large family. Could not afford to work on the new job as a trainee for kind of free for 6 month or so. And i am going on depression due to cureent and past situation. Not a single person can and wants to understand it. Going alcoholic(with grace of some shit friends). But i am trying to work everything out. Now i am stuck on the lockdown, limited food. I am learning python now and could not even find a training job on python. Now i am trying to start my own project. Its some complex heavy proiect. But still researching and working on it even for the 15 minutes. Lets hope everything works out.3
-
I once declared and initialized a variable with a default value all together. (var a= "default";)
And in a certain IF condition the variable value has to be changed, so i was changing the value of the variable inside IF condition. If (x==y) { a=" newVal" ;}
During a code review i was asked why i am not assigning the default value in ELSE condition. And i was like whut 😑.
So........ Some Programmers be like IF shouldn't exist without ELSE.6 -
One of the worst practices in programming is misusing exceptions to send messages.
This from the node manual for example:
> fsPromises.access(path[, mode])
> fsPromises.access('/etc/passwd', fs.constants.R_OK | fs.constants.W_OK)
> .then(() => console.log('can access'))
> .catch(() => console.error('cannot access'));
I keep seeing people doing this and it's exceptionally bad API design, excusing the pun.
This spec makes assumptions that not being able to access something is an error condition.
This is a mistaken assumption. It should return either true or false unless a genuine IO exception occurred.
It's using an exception to return a result. This is commonly seen with booleans and things that may or may not exist (using an exception instead of null or undefined).
If it returned a boolean then it would be up to me whether or not to throw an exception. They could also add a wrapper such as requireAccess for consistent error exceptions.
If I want to check that a file isn't accessible, for example for security then I need to wrap what would be a simple if statement with try catch all over the place. If I turn on my debugger and try to track any throw exception then they are false positives everywhere.
If I want to check ten files and only fail if none of them are accessible then again this function isn't suited.
I see this everywhere although it coming from a major library is a bit sad.
This may be because the underlying libraries are C which is a bit funky with error handling, there's at least a reason to sometimes squash errors and results together (IE, optimisation). I suspect the exception is being used because under the hood error codes are also used and it's trying to use throwing an exception to give the different codes but doesn't exist and bad permissions might not be an error condition or one requiring an exception.
Yet this is still the bane of my existence. Bad error handling everywhere including the other way around (things that should always be errors being warnings), in legacy code it's horrendous.6 -
How much do you think I can sell my MacBook Pro (Early 2015), with i7 dual core 3.1 GHz.
It is in almost perfect condition.
I have to start university and I would buy the new MacBook Pro, and now it's probably the perfect time because there is the students sale.9 -
This simple task will finish in the next 10 minutes I thought...
4 hours later it is just in workable condition and still needs to be tested for bugs...🥺 -
Looking at AI and regarding the stop button problem. (computerphile video about the stop button problem: https://youtube.com/watch/...)
And looking at Skynet from Terminator.
There is some chance that the goal condition for the AI was that humans don't press the stop button.
And Skynet's biggest goal is to prevent humanity to press this button by exterminating humanity.
So, the film writers are actually this one time totally justified to have a heavily guarded room with nothing but a big red button which instantly brings victory for humanity when pressed.
Critics will hate this "deux ex machina", but computer scientists and AI researchers will be like: "Ehm, actually, that makes a lot of sense." -
Yay, nothing better than good ol' change request... Right?
Let's see...
Limit user's ability to do sth, if this condition is met, allow editing global parameter of this condtion, than add per action overrides, on top of that add per-user override, on top of that add per-user overrides to ignore certain overrides.
Shiit man, reading this took me 3-4 times and still Im not sure if I 100% understand
Okay, I think I got this.
setting
per-user ignore flag to setting
override to setting
per-user ignore flag to override to setting
override to override to setting
per-user ignore flag to override to override to setting
design assumption: automatic system that can make life easier
me: designed system to be fully automatic
every single change request: be less automatic, require more user manual and more attention to work2 -
Spent almost 2 hours looking at the apache conf I was given only to find out all the rewrites were broken due to a missing '/' on the mod rewrite condition. Fml
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I'd tinkered with computers for a long time but the breakthrough moment for me was a robotics class in elementary school where I programmed Legos in TC Logo.
That summer, I made a washing machine with multiple cycles and a door sensor to interrupt the cycles.
Soon after, I played with the code for Gorillas in QBasic to fix a race condition when running it on my 486 at home.1 -
"It is not easy to know what you like. Most people fool themselves their entire lives about this. Self-acquaintance is a rare condition." - Robert Henri
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In my last company, there was a method with so much nesting and if conditions that just putting my condition on top increased the efficiency by 500%.1
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there is time when you're bored to death and you don't have any project ro work on, and again there is time when you have plenty of projects offer started.
BOTH CONDITION SUCKS,
I'm only one person who need atleast 4 hour of sleep -
program, which should save report from db to file, running a couple of minutes:
1) despite prefetch precompiler option no fetch was prefetched, because for every next line fetch cursor was reopened with condition WHERE some_val > prev_val
2) allocated array of host variables to fetch 100 rows per call to db client api
program is running under 3 seconds now -
!rant
Once I was in a programming class, and the teacher was explaining the subject for the class, and this guy asks something (about using an else after an if condition, because of efficiency, I think) and he replies with something like "yeah, you know, I like to live dangerous". I kid you not (yes, he said DANGEROUS instead of DANGEROUSLY). I had to try not to laugh out loud. -
Ugh, fuck the SSRS web service. Spent all week trying to consume the service with PowerShell, doesn't make it any easier when there are undocumented behaviours. TypeName property has to be Type, for instance, when creating a search condition, TOTALLY contrary to the documentation.
Want to change the data source for a report you uploaded? Gl;hf! Back to it next week, think I'm close to having a working deployment script...so close. -
Why do coffee machines give you the plastic spoon if you reset the sugar level? Maybe some if/else condition has to be repaired...1
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ITS VBA again!
I made two misstakes today.
The first one was touching vba, the second one was assuming things.
The two statements are almost the same except the braces. VBA uses IF [condition] THEN..i soo foulhardly assumed that, when you just chain conditions together with an AND its taken as one statement. While in reality it apparently ignores some conditions and not some others.
I really dont bother with VBA a lot and try to avoid it, but upon occassion the need arises. I still dont know why the brace variant does the expected behaviour while the without does not. It seemingly does not ignore thew first two conditions but the third which makes it even more confusing. But as i dont know enough about VBA to say with confidence its on Excel and not on me i squelch my rage and tend the happiness that it now works..somehow. -
Recently I've purchased a new laptop and so far it's working smoothly as I expected.
And yesterday I had a dream in which, laptop was got broken in the middle where the screen gets attached. And there was a last day for replacement as per return policy (idk really whether they allows if laptop got physical damage). But I was trying very hard to get the internet to submit a request for replacement and suddenly I woke up and very first I checked the laptop condition.
Anyway today I'll goto sleep and again will try to place replacement request for my laptop before date get expired.7 -
Is any of it real? I mean, look at this. Look at it! A world built on fantasy. Synthetic emotions in the form of pills. Psychological warfare in the form of advertising. Mind-altering chemicals in the form of... food! Brainwashing seminars in the form of media. Controlled isolated bubbles in the form of social networks. Real? You want to talk about reality? We haven't lived in anything remotely close to it since the turn of the century. We turned it off, took out the batteries, snacked on a bag of GMOs while we tossed the remnants in the ever-expanding Dumpster of the human condition. We live in branded houses trademarked by corporations built on bipolar numbers jumping up and down on digital displays, hypnotizing us into the biggest slumber mankind has ever seen. You have to dig pretty deep, kiddo, before you can find anything real. We live in a kingdom of bullshit. A kingdom you've lived in for far too long. So don't tell me about not being real. I'm no less real than the fucking beef patty in your Big Mac.3
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Recently joined new Android app (product) based project & got source code of existing prod app version.
Product source code must be easy to understand so that it could be supported for long term. In contrast to that, existing source structure is much difficult to understand.
Package structure is flat only 3 packages ui, service, utils. No module based grouped classes.
No memory release is done. So on each screen launch new memory leaks keep going on & on.
Too much duplication of code. Some lazy developer in the past had not even made wrappers to avoid direct usage of core classes like Shared Preference etc. So at each place same 4-5 lines were written.
Too much if-else ladders (4-5 blocks) & unnecessary repetitions of outer if condition in inner if condition. It looks like the owner of this nested if block implementation has trust issues, like that person thought computer 'forgets' about outer if when inside inner if.
Too much misuse of broadcast receiver to track activities' state in the era of activity, apપ life cycle related Android library.
Sometimes I think why people waste soooo... much efforts in the wrong direction & why can't just use library?!!
These things are found without even deep diving into the code, I don't know how much horrific things may come out of the closet.
This same app is being used by many companies in many different fields like banking, finance, insurance, govt. agencies etc.
Sometimes I surprise how this source passed review & reached the production.1 -
Wanted to add alerting for systemd services in Prometheus today, which spontaneously turned out to be a huge pain in the lower human backend.
For some reason, on Ubuntu 16.04 systemd adds services without unit files for software, that isn't even installed on the damn server (in this case for mysql-server / mysql-common and mysql-client are installed) and lists them as "not-found" and "inactive". The prometheus node exporter that we use, has a little bug in the systemd collector that makes sure that the states of *all* services are collected - even those without a unit file.
so those metrics are pulled by prometheus and now I have to take with those faulty metrics in the condition logic of the alert, because I'm trying to trigger that one on a service which is listed with state "active" = 0 or "failed" = 1.
now guess. right! If the unit file doesn't exist, the regarded systemd service is marked as "inactive", which is another possible state of the metrics in the node exporter. the problem is that the value 1 for state "inactive" means, that "active" has the value 0 (not even wrong) and the alert is triggered.
so systemd fucks up somehow, the node exporter collector fucks up because systemd fucked up and I have to unfuck this with some crazy horse shit logic. w.t.f. to that.
the only good news is, that it works like a charm on Ubuntu 18.04, as far, as I can tell.
while writing this little rant, I thought of a solution.
I could try to change the alert condition to state "active" = 0 AND "failed" = 1.. but that will wait till tomorrow.
one does not simply patch monitoring conditions at midnight..4 -
PAGE BREAK AFTER IS FUCKED UP. FML
ok guys, if you have any recommendation or alternative to page-break-after, please let me know. im desperately in need of a goddamn solution.
heres my problem, ive got a table, inside the table is the tbody, now i only want two rows to be displayed in each page (im doing html for pdf docs). so what ive been trying to do is adding <tr class="display:block;page-break-after: always !important"> whenever it meets the condition (rowCount%2!=0).
Ive been trying to figure this out for the last 12 fucking hours. cheesus fucking crust. ik this isnt stackoverflow but stack hasnt really been helpful as well :( FML6 -
Merging datas using spark sql with two conditions.
my code:
1.merge with first condition
2.merge with second condition
3. 1.unionall(2)
This gives some extra datas(total=10000 and result=10220)
$better way?any way? -
In honor of https://devrant.io/rants/875346/... let is graphically show threaded race conditions:
0
1
2
36 -
So I just made a deal. I am selling my Galaxy S5 16gb + 16gb mem stick, which is in excellent condition along, with the original flip case and a Spigen slim armor case and a protective screen, for 150€.
I'm replacing it with a Galaxy S6 32gb with a slim case and protective glass along with new headphones and also in excellent condition, for 200€.
For 50€ as true cost to go from S5 to S6, I think it's a pretty decent bargain people and also a nice upgrade. What do you people think? -
[`script(x) ` for x in iterable if condition else command] [#:#]
Complex code in one line
#python
PS. That can be more complex, but I am lazy to continue with this -
Can someone please explain me why the fuck the following doesn't work in C#?
Dictionary<string,object> mex=Json.Deserialize(data.ToString())as Dictionary<string,object>;
if(mex.ContainsKey("sessionId") && mex["sessionId"].ToString()!=tkn.GetSessionID())
the previous condition is NEVER true, but the following:
Dictionary<string,object> mex=Json.Deserialize(data.ToString())as Dictionary<string,object>;
if(mex.ContainsKey("sessionId") && mex["sessionId"]!=tkn.GetSessionID())
will actually work as expected.
tkn.GetSessionID() returns a string, of course
and mex["sessionId"] is always an object that contains a string in form of a number, like 152, 552, 6246 and so on and no, it won't ever contain any blank or other character
Fuck this fucking shit from C#8 -
God damn it!
Tried to use scipy's UniveriateSpline on some (x,y) coordinates that I have and it throws errors because I have multiple x values with different y value. UniveriateSpline expects all x values to be incresasing. Problem is I want to use these values, otherwise the result might be different than expected. B-Splines shouldn't be dependent on this condition or have I missed something in my studies? Documentation doesn't tell me anything.🙄 -
can 2 modal which is static have a race condition error? I’m trying to fix a bug and when I showed it to my senior , I said maybe because of the first modal the style is not being applied on the second modal he then said “it might be a race condition” and I almost choked on my own saliva.
Ps: the first modal will show a loading text and a gif after that the second modal shows with some data.
I got confused how he think that it might be a race condition. We’re not doing webworks on the front end. Weird.2 -
So, I have a problem I'm working with mongoose in nodejs and I want to make a dynamic query like I have 2 fields gender and type of room and these are optionals so what I did I wrote an if condition that if gender is not undefined a variable which is q += "gender:" + " ' " + gender + " ' " + ","; and when I pass this variable in find() it doesn't work but if i write the same query directly there in find() it works what seems to be the problem?1
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I want to jump into android app dev. My first plan is to start build one using flutter and dart language but my workstation is slow. Android studio is hogging my memory and it really slow me down plus bad experience. I plan to uninstall android studio and using other tools. Can anybody suggest what kind of tools that suitable for my current condition right now?9
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Python working non-deterministic on VSCode? That just happened ... somehow, wtf??
Getting a list from a method and comparing its last element with an int value. Always worked before like a charm, didn't change a thing. All of a sudden TypeError, cannot run anymore? Restart VSCode, run again, still not running ... ?? Retry and print the element, in case I've surprisingly actually been an idiot all along ... nope, value looks in print as expected. Continue execution, suddenly condition works again. WTF just happened??? Caching, python extension bug, anything like that to blame?1 -
hello i'm trying to do a loop to all of our users account and see if they have already a partner or pair but the problem is after 2 user, the loop just stops and won't loop to all user accounts that's available. Please don't leave me hanging or leaving comments with no solution just like stack overflow.
<?php
$sqlo = mysqli_query($conn, "SELECT `username` FROM users");
$i=1;
$counter = array();
while ($h=mysqli_fetch_assoc($sqlo)) {
$counter[$i] = $h['username'];
$i++;
}
for($i = 1; $i <= Fixed_count($counter); $i++){
$b = $counter[$i];
$query1 = mysqli_query($conn2, "select * from `$b` where username='$newuser'");
$query2 = mysqli_query($conn2, "select * from `$b` where `status`='yes'");
$user1 = array();
$user2 = array();
while($result = mysqli_fetch_array($query1)){
$user1['username'] = $result['username'];
$user1['status'] = $result['status'];
/*more user info*/
while($result2 = mysqli_fetch_array($query2)){
$user2['username'] = $result2['username'];
$user2['status'] = $result2['status'];
/*more user info*/
if($temp_counter < 4){
if($user1['username'] != $user2['username'] && $user1['status'] == "yes" && $user2['status'] == "yes"){
if(/*more condition*/){
/*if condition's are met execute process*/
echo "Success!";
continue 2;
}
}else{
continue 2;
}
}
}
}
}
echo "Loop stopped at user: ".$i;
?>7