When your gf isn't a Dev but still tries to surprise you on your birthday with an HTML cake. But your OCD is killing you because of the mistakes

Src: IG - developers_team

Hello everyone, found this place recently, decided to bore you with one (or many) Navy story... tech Navy story. I'll start from the end.
Little backstory: I've deployed a simple domain setup on the ship I served, nothing fancy, a server, a switch, 10 computers, all Windows (details on that at another rant). I enter the ship Monday morning, and the XO tells me that he can't access his online folders.
OK, I say, I'll get to it. I fire up my laptop, try to RDP to the server (I know, I know, burn me at the stake later) no connection. WTF? Is the service down? I try pinging. No luck. I tried pinging the switch. OK. Looking at the switch admin panel, I see the server's port is dead. "OK, probably the cable." (we have old ethernet cables)
So, I drag my ass over to the server (same room with ship comms) with the cable tester to confirm that. What do I see?
The IMBECILES had pulled the plug from the server so that they could charge their mobile phones. I literally slammed my head against the door (calming exercise in case of spontaneous murder impulses - the things you learn at the Academy). My CO was nearby, and lucky for the guys, he heard me yell at them, while throwing mobiles and chargers around.
"But we thought it was OK, we just wanted to charge our-"
I kid you not, I reached for the firefighter's axe.
My CO grabbed me by the collar and dragged me to his room. I explained to him (between two cigarettes) that we MUST get a UPS and a server cabinet (budget constraints in the military are something that will give you people nightmares, trust me). I carefully explained to him that unless we got those, nothing would prevent the next moron from destroying confidential data and me from murdering him.
I plugged in and booted the server, after installing a multi socket extension. Two days after, surprise surprise, the server was off again. That was the first time I opened the door to the CO's room with a low kick. I must have looked like a psycho on drugs, he gave approval for the purchase in twenty seconds flat.
After that, I installed the UPS and the cabinet. Everything went inside, from the UPS to the very plugs. Just a locked box with cables coming out.
One of the guys came to my room, and asked if I could unlock the cabinet so that they could plug a "device" they needed.
I actually reached for my folding knife.
Disclaimer: The story above is TRUE. Even the almost violent parts.

tester- there's a bug.
dev- no, that's a feature.
t- no, that's a bug,
dev- oops

Hey everyone - tonight we performed a database upgrade and unfortunately there were a few "surprise" breaking changes to the query language we use that weren't caught during testing. Once they were discovered after the upgrade. The queries were corrected within a few minutes. You might have noticed some issues with commenting, voting, etc.

On this note, please let me know if you notice anything suspicious like errors when trying to perform normal actions, or anything at all. I appreciate any reports since it's a bit tricky for us to cover every last part of the app alone, though I think we went through most of it. Thanks and please let me know if you have any questions!

Today I had a reflection with an client and they surprised me with a present. They wanted to thank me for the hard work and effort I made.

Wauw! It just keeps me motivating to work hard and keep my clients happy!

I am the operating system😂😂!!

!rant

My parents gave me a lovely surprise😍

4gigs of gtx960m and a 6th gen i5, I think I am set for a few years

Nice surprise left on my desk at work today:)

when I install something on my RPi and it immediately works

My 4yo monster just randomly told me:
"Mommy! One plus two plus three plus four plus five equals fifteen!"

I'm so proud.
And really surprised 🤔

I've been teaching him basic math (adding and subtracting numbers 0-20), but haven't gone beyond two operations / three numbers.

When I was 14, I was bad at many things. I sucked at sports cause I was weak and small. School was boring so I did not study. I mostly played games.
During a summer break, I wanted to change shit in WarCraft 3, as I heard from a friend that heard it from a friend, that you can do that. Many internet searches later I realised that you kind of just tell to the game what you want it to do, just simplified. If (target is enemy) do damage, for (every human player) make sparkly stuff...
After months of "playing" games, the new school year started and I got, for the first time, a proper computer class. Imagine my surprise when we started doing the shit I did all summer. That year I had 100% on all tests.
Many years later programming gave me friends, made my inner nerd and geek come out, gave me a free trip to the USA to represent my country, two TEDx talks, and finally a job that I like with the pay I can live with.

At age of 20, I got hired as junior dev at a mobile gaming company. We were 2 junior devs hired at the same time and one of our senior colleagues made a prank: he came in the office before us and rearranged our offices in a "funny" manner.

Two days later I waited for him to go home. I opened his PC case, removed the power button cable from the motherboard and then re-arranged everything back to normal. Well, I couldn't resist...

Next day he came into the office and, well, surprise... the PC was not starting. He went to the IT department and they spent 4 hours trying to figure out why it was not working. They replaced the CPU, RAM memory, including the PSU.

I had to go and tell them: "maybe it's the power button jack?!".

I got into some problems for that prank. Indeed I crossed a line, but what the hell... that was a bad IT department.

My asshole coworkers talking about how programmers without a degree are worth shit and cannot achieve anything in industry besides working from startup to startup.

Well, surprise, I'm sitting right next to them, in the same big company and I don't have ANY higher education at all.

Just because I prefer more hands-on experience than theory stuff doesn't make me worse developer than those bastards. I just learn more from working on something, than from sitting in classroom and taking notes.

Fortunately people at HR and boss also valued my previous experience when they hired me, but now having to work with those guys every day is killing me.

Was working on some a project at a coffee shop with my girlfriend when I got frustrated and exclaimed "God damn why is this method breaking everything". My girlfriend looks up at me and starts in surprise "code can break?".

I was registering for a website, and on a whim, I used this as my username:
null'); PRINT('Hello');--

And sure enough, the login system went down. The next day it was still down, so I went to Twitter to tell the people running the site that this was why, but to my surprise, I see them saying they had been hacked.
Based on the timing, I'm pretty sure they're referring to this, but they are saying user info was stolen. *facepalm*
They later said they stored passwords salted with a fixed salt and hashed with fucking md5, at which point I was glad not to have done any more business with them.

How incompetent can these fucking people be?!

Hey everyone - earlier tonight a surprise change in the Apple subscription API response caused devRant++ members on iOS to temporarily lose their supporter status. All should be restored now, and within the next day supporter start date for all community members in this group will be reset back to the correct start time.

We appreciate all of your support very much and apologize for this issue - I have to do some investigation into how this change happened and if there was any warning.

Thanks everyone!

There is a group of ladies who work in the accounting department at my job who have made it their mission to decorate the cubicle of whoever has a birthday on a given day. They come in at 6 am on someones birthday and decorate, leaving a mess of balloons and streamers, which is a nice surprise the first time it happens (they do it every year). Well, we in the IT office decided it would be fun to booby trap one of our cubicles so that when our birthday rolled in, they would receive a surprise of their own. So we set up a webcam as a motion detector, and had the computer speakers turned up as loud as possible, so that when motion was detected, the honorable Admiral Akbar would yell "It's A Trap!". We succeeded in scaring the pants off of them, and also annoying them because the sound did not stop until the program was exited, so they had to listen to it the entire time they did their setup. It was priceless xD

Why would a keyboard store 155 MB data?
Oh wait! It's Google's keyboard

Just because Facebook/Google/Apple are doing something, it doesn't mean it's the future of technology.

No, we're not going to throw out large parts our perfectly good tech stack just because you liked their latest blog post.

If you wanted to always play "follow the shiny thing", you should have become a jeweller. Please learn what independent thought is and how to apply it, the results might surprise you!

My girlfriend sent me out to buy basil for soup... Had no choice so I went. At the mall entrance, 4 interactive digital signage panels. Used one to check for the supermarket's locations and saw that a display corner was flickering. The app was grabbing the full screen but had a bug with the windows' task bar. Messed with it a couple of minutes, stopped app and... Surprise! Windows 7, logged as administrator... I had to go to disk management... I really had to.

PS: gf said that I should be ashamed of what I did...

Well today I got a fantastic surprise (truthfully). We hired a dev some months ago, who was on 6 months probation and, to put it politely, he was not going to pass it.

*side note: for details of some of the above, read my last 10 or so rants. They are pretty much all him.

Anyway, management put him on an improvement plan to make sure everything was fair, it wasn't working out, but they said we had to finish it to be fair.

So we had another 2 weeks left when he announced last night he's leaving for a new junior role, technical but not a dev.

Months of stress, heartache, bewilderment, late nights and weekends all just came to an end.

The English language fails me to express my overwhelming joy at this moment. The only way I can come close to it is to say that when he made his announcement, a colleague told me I should stop smiling as it could be taken as being rude.

I'd like to take this moment to thank the community for supporting me over the past few difficult months. Without you I probably would have tried to kill him with my dev rant stressball.

Thanks,
practiseSafeHex

I spent three hours coding some algorithm and then looked it up on Stack Overflow out of curiosity. Big surprise. Someone did the exact same thing but more effeciently, and had all the code in his answer on SO.

Ughhhhhhhh 😓

Client: Once this app hits the market I'll give each of you $500!
Us: *screams of surprise*
Client: Hong kong Dollars
Us:.....

Better than nothing amirite? :p

When you see .NET exceptions making their way into Indian Railways!
Damn that was unexpected!

HOLD THE FUCKING PHONE!

Just when I thought today was my last day at this job they tell me contract has been extended by another 5 weeks... Fuck yes! :-D

rant

The Java course at our Uni requires us to do an end semester project - A Java App with Swing for GUI and some Multithreading code in it.

They asked us to upload the code to drive. I was bored and was checking out my friends' projects.

The code below is what I saw in one of the projects. They have simply called a thread with an empty run method because the project required to use multithreading concepts, wtf.

But then, It is no surprise to me cause these are the people who memorize code and vomit code for marks.

I am worried that people are going to be awarded degrees and called software engineers.

God save the software industry!

My teacher at school who taught me programming. We were taught Java.

You see, Java is not a beginner's language, most say. But the way she taught it, the examples, the analogy, the explanation; she made it so easy.

She made us execute our first Hello World program (using BlueJ) and proudly said, "you're all programmers now!", that was when fascination took me over. I remember​ that moment till today.

Also, unlike regular exams, the programming exams required extreme competency. Marks were split up for algorithm and syntax. There were also questions like find the error in this algorithm for this output. She would always surprise us at the exams!

I had several glorious moments in class by being the first to answer most of her questions. At 13, it was kind of a big deal for me.
(Okay, who am I kidding, it still is :-P)

*sigh*

It was mostly just self learning from there. I switched schools and then there was college. Attending classes in college was like going to the gym with fat trainers. Utterly useless :-/ It just made me appreciate her even more.

Boss hands over to me an old security audit report and tells me "Go through this and check if all the problems mentioned have been resolved". Quick glance through the report shows all expected issues - SQLi, plaintext transmission and storage etc. I tell him that I need access to the application both from admin and a user with restricted privileges.
He hands me the admin credentials and tells me, "After you login in, just go the "Users" tab. You'll find the profiles of all the users there. You can get the emails and passwords of any user you want from there."
I had to hold back a chuckle. There's nothing to verify. If they haven't resolved storing plain text passwords in the database (AND displaying it IN PLAIN TEXT in the website itself (which to my surprise wasn't mentioned in the audit)), they probably haven't even looked at the report.

So I walk to work and pass this sign for a place called helloworld experts in everywhere.

And eventually I was curious enough to go to their website and to my surprise they're a travel company :(

I was expecting some sort of software development company with focus on cloud software due to their slogan, pretty disappointed.

surprise mothafuka

Why Apple?

Configuring my new MacBook Pro
• jre ✓
• jdk ✓
• Android studio ....
• let's see what we get when we type "git" in Terminal.. surprise!!! You have to download Xcode which is 5.30GB. Goodness. Can I cry now? 😭😭😭

A friendly reminder that Deutsche Bahn fucking sucks.

Their trains show up 10 minutes later than they would have to everyday.

Once I saw that there was a train that was 120+ minutes late.

Today I had to wait almost 20 minutes at a SINGLE train station. Thus I couldn't enter the next train.

To my luck the next train arrives in an hour.

EDIT:

As a student it makes my life way harder than it already is.

It is not reliable at all.

They charge you with 60€ if you forget your ticket btw.

I don't forget my ticket though. My ticket is my campus card.

Their tickets are fucking overpriced and they are always damn late. I ain't paying for that shit. I would rather ride with a horse to the university than paying for a ticket.

Second EDIT as an update:

They just announced that my next train is going to come 10 minutes later. What a bloody surprise, eh?

Naming contest:

These two 'new' servers need hostnames.
Names must be within the following constraints:

* Names must be female
* Names must be pronouncable and writable in ASCII standard set of characters.
* Names are preferred to reference to duo's, like sisters, twins, dynamic duo's like chip and dale, but female.

Previous servers were name 'tairu' & 'mairu' (heroic age) and 'karen' & 'tsukihi' (nisemonogatori)

Let's see if the devrant community can surprise me.

Entries will be closed within 48 hours of this post.

Ebay app: Hey, look at this offer, you can save 30%!

Me: Urgh, alright, let me have a look
*Clicks notification*
*Offer seems alright, took me by surprise honestly*

*Scrolls down a bit*

Ebay app: ITEM DOESN'T SHIP TO YOUR LOCATION *evil laugh*

Fucking gets me every time

So my girlfriend decided to surprise me with this cake... I'm happy with it but I feel violated as I'm PHP guy not .NET

So today was shite. I get done with classes for today after going to work in the morning( college student) and I get a phone call. SURPRISE! We have a client meeting in twenty minutes.

My class runs from 5-9 and the meeting was scheduled at 7:30. I was let out early thank god. Then made sure that we had deliverables for the project running and ready to go.

Meeting with the client went well and he was pleased with my progress.

Now I have been the only one developing any sort of deliverable for this website. It originally started out with three people. The main developer will call him Cunt and a front-end dev that isn't on the project anymore.

FUCKING CUNT DECIDED TO COME AT ME FOR SAYING THAT THERE WAS A MISCOMMUNICATION ERROR AND ONE OF THE TASKS WASNT FINISHED. THEN CUNT ASKED IF I HAD ALL OF THE FRONT DEVS PAGES TO WHICH I SIGHED YES. CUNT FUCKFACE PROCEEDED TO EDUCATE ME ON HOW TO TALK TO OTHER DEVS AND NOT MAKE CRITICIZE HER CODE. UM CUNT YOU HAVENT COMMUNICATED WITH HER FOR THE THREE MONTHS IVE BEEN ON THIS PROJECT. AND YOUVE CONSTANTLY AVOIDED BEING IN THE OFFICE WHEN ANYONE IS PRESENT AND EVEN SHOOED HER AWAY. THE FACT THAT CUNT ISNT FIRED IS BECAUSE I TOOK LEAD ON HIS PROJECT AND HAVE MAKING EVERY DEADLINE FOR THIS AND OTHER PROJECTS.

*breaths*

Moral of this. Don't be a CUNT!

We got a prequalification letter from the bank finally, so: Surprise vacation!

Leaving tomorrow morning to look at houses! 😊 Yaaay! Maybe we can move out of this misery at last!

Working on the road tomorrow, Monday is a holiday, and I’m taking Tuesday off.

Ta-ra ~

I used PHPMailer to send emails to a client's website user. SMTP host is smtp.gmail.com.

web was hosted on Bluehost. I found out that mailer was not working. I enabled verbose output and to my surprise I found out that Bluehost was intercepting my mail and responding with

220-We do not authorize the use of this system to transport unsolicited, 220 and/or bulk e-mail

when i was explicitly using smtp.gmail.com. Not only they were intercepting but also They were trying my credentials against its own smtp server and then showing me that authentication failed.

When i contacted chat they asked me to tell last 4 characters of Bluehost account password to verify ownership.

Dude do they have passwords in plaintext.🤔

I was doing a physical security engagement on a clients home. The door had a new smart lock, I called his landline to inform him it was us at the front door. I got the answering machine, and figured it'd be funny to say "Alexa, unlock the front door." To our surprise, the front door unlocked.

It was the time of the 90s when one created HTML with frames. During an HTML exam we had 1 hour to create a website with 3 frames. Top, left, main. Some aligned random images and some formatted text. Kind of boring, I know. So I finished early and handed in my diskette with my homepage. To make it easy for him I added my name and class to the title.
When we got our grades I was in for a surprise since I had expected a good grade. I asked him why I didn't get a good grade. He kind of shouted at me that my task was perfectly done but I shouldn't have written my name in the title but name and address of this school. It is not a really dramatic thing but I always hated when teachers quietly assumed stuff and didn't tell us. And then handed out bad graded for totally unrelated stuff.

Surprise surprise, that unrealistic deadline you set even when the engineering team told you that it wasn't going to work has backfired! Maybe you wouldn't be so stressed if you learnt to listen? It's a pretty basic skill, or at least I thought so.
Oh and when you say "we have two options, stay late or work weekends" you have a critical bug in your conditional. Your missing option 3, go the fuck home. Time to enjoy my weekend with friends and family.

Free stickers from Digital Ocean were a pleasant surprise!

Guys I need some help here! Google can't seem to help... opened up my moms boyfriends laptop to upgrade his RAM and to my surprise there was a SIM Card fitted inside, my first thought was that it could be chipped?

!rant
Yesterday was my first day at my first internship as a naive rising uni soph. I brought my tiny 13 inch thinkpad thinking I was gonna code on that. Imagine my surprise as I walk in and HR brings me to a table with 4 monitors on it. l o l

I like it there.

Surprise four days off next week!
I bloody well need it.

Hey look, npm broke my project again. Surprise!

Code and dependencies on my local machine, all untouched for a couple of weeks, no longer works. I've no idea how it even managed that.

Oh, and `npm update` crashes.

eventually solved by upgrading npm and running `npm update --depth 500` because some arbitrary child dependencies changed without updating the parent packages, ofc. on my local machine. without me having run `npm update` for about a month.

because of course that makes sense.
Second time in two months, too.

isn't npm great?

A wild boss appears.
He uses surprise six hours meeting...
It's super effective!
Developer is dazed and confused 😵

I did it again some crazy shit.
This time running dishonored on linux tablet with wine.
Surprise it runs pretty good.
20-30 fps wooooow.
Even Skyrim got less.

Eminem droped the coolest surprise album !!!!! 🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩
Omfg !
KAMIKAZE !
EM'S BACK !

All the mumble rappers can tikcus !

Disclaimer: searching for a self hosted Spotify alternative but haven't found one yet so suggestions are very welcome!

I really don't get how spotify's music algorithms or whatever the fuck you'd call those (you get what I mean) work.

- Whenever I click on the button which should make a song not appear in my daily mix anymore, I hear it again within a fucking day.

- how the fuck does the getting you new songs which you might like work?! I'm a huge rawstyle fan and mostly listen to, surprise surprise, rawstyle.
Then why in the living fuck keeps Spotify coming up with euphoric/melodic hardstyle tracks?! I like those sometimes but only *sometimes*.

More and more often I have to skip through 20-30+ songs to get one raw song instead of a fucking euphoric one.

Replies from their support are non existent.

It's getting so fucking annoying.

Not really a fired moment because it was a university project.

A colleague of mine decided it'd be nice to set placeholder images to Hitler wearing a hello Kitty Nazi uniform. Oh without telling anyone, of course.

I go into the lab that a couple lecturers share, one of them was interested in the project we were working on and to our surprise the placeholder images pop up. I immediately say sorry, I didn't set that image and the guy looks at me with judging eyes.

Same guy has to take meds daily otherwise he acts up, not sure what it was he had, may have been ADHD, anyways we were staying late and he forgot his meds, and while our client is in the same room this guy starts doing the macarana behind the room separator, while we're supposed to give him a live preview of what we had accomplished in three months of work. Needless to say he didn't see him dancing like a moron but wow :/ learn to control yourself.

Same guy also never commented his code and used the two letter variable principal because it's such a great idea >.> Me and the other guy spent 6 hours rewriting his code, which should have been less time but he wasn't there to help nor was he available to yell.. I mean ask for help.

I hate University group projects....

How the fuck am I expected to salvage a fucking project that has been handed down to me with.
- No fucking clear architecture
- No fucking documentation
- Fucking shitty ass code base with no fucking coding standards
- The previous team was fucking learning a whole fucking new technology stack *Not fucking kidding* making fucking mistakes left and right
- No code reviews
- Mixing fucking local and cloud enviroment together
- No fucking testing
- Feature that were supposed to be implemented and are not working
- No configuration all the stuff are hard coded
- Full responsiblity for the whole stack
- Only one other guy with me
- And this fucking project has been delayed for a year
- MUCH FUCKING MORE WHERE THAT CAME FROM

Like what the fuck am I expected to do? I took the job thinking that people knew what the fuck they were doing and surprise surprise that was a fucking bust.

the problem is also I am the junior and these fucking people have more experience than me, what the fuck happened to over seeing people's work, PM doesnt give a shit, developers dont give a shit nobody gives a shit.

But when I got this surprise surprise now everyone is interested in finishing the project

BULLSHIT

!dev && rant

I just saw this video about car insurance and how they're essentially legal fraud. As I'm looking to get a driver's license and get myself a secondhand car, I looked what the costs actually are for mandatory car insurance that gets people so worked up...

€400 per fucking year?! And many companies that get well into the €1000?!!!! No surprise that people get so worked up about it! The budget of my entire fucking car would be only around €2000!!!!

Guess I'll be looking into building an electric bike then.. money grabbing corporate motherfuckers! And what for.. only because the average driver is a clueless operator of a killing machine?! FUCK THIS SHIT!!! 🤬

Back in college.
We had this course in which we gathered in teams and worked the whole semester for another teacher building a product. We had roles, like QA, devs, PM...all the works.
I was PM and during our first presentation of the product to our teacher and the client we showed the work of our first month of work. At the end, our teacher asked our QA, who have been silent the whole project and hadn't answered my mails asking for tests, if he had found any problems. "Oh, yes. The whole site is broken. I can easily break throught it"
The faces of the rest of the group showed a level of surprise that made the teacher ask if he had informed us: "No..."
Our client, another SE teacher, started to laugh and that was that.
It was awful

Be me:
> turns on laptop
> enter funky town password
> presses enter
> expects wallpaper to show

Be windows:
> fuck you mother fucker!
> surprise asshole
> I magically updated on you without warning

Old story, and yeah, it's all true, I shit you not!

So here I am at about age 11 (more or less). At the time, I had an almost brand new 333MHz beast, with 8 MB RAM, 2 (!!!) MB video card and (I think) about 300 MB of storage (yeah, I'm old :)) ).

Connected to this monster was sitting a 14" CRT monitor, mechanical keyboard and a 2 button, ball "powered" mouse.

There was no optical tracking tech at the time.

One evening, I notice my mouse starts lagging. Test it to see if Win95 is stuck. Nope, just mouse problems...

Fiddle with it a little, and at some point it stops working at all.

My room was dark now, so I got up to turn on the lights, sat down in front of the PC, and moved the mouse by instinct.

Surprise! It's working again!

My brother comes in and turnes off the lights. Mouse non responsive.

I tell him to turn them on again, mouse works again.

At this point, we were both scratching our heads at this mystery...

I decided to confirm it again using a desc light.

Conclusion: my 2 button, ball tracking, non light sensitive mouse was working only if light was shining directly oh it AND on my 14" crt monitor at the same time!!!

To this day I have no ideea why.

I kept them both for posterity, and they are still there in my parent's attic.

Fin.

The surprise and suspicion you get when something works first time.

I'm 4 days into my new job, and so far I am absolutely loving it. Here's my setup. Yes, they gave me 3 monitors plus a laptop, so my setup has 5 screens! Now I can die happy :D

Definitely worth noting as well, since it caught me by surprise - the company-supplied laptop is a powerhouse. High-end i7 CPU, mid-to-high-end NVIDIA GPU, tons of ports, 1TB HD, 4K display, and 48 GB RAM. Yes, 48 GB. I am truly blessed, starting off my career with this. ^_^

Just got a Google Pixel on a norwegian website.

I open the box and ...surprise.

The support guy replied 'I don't see the problem', Well I do.

Prof: "Hey, you can take a look at the source code that we used last year in this research paper"
Me :(surprise because other papers usually don't share source code), "Okay"

A few weeks later:
Me: "Prof, if you use method A instead of method B, you can get better performance by 20%. Here's the link"
Prof:"The source link that you mentioned is for another instrument, not GPU"
Me:"Yeah, but I tested in on GPU and I found it is also applied in my device"
Prof:"That's interesting."
-----------------------------------------------------
This is why folks, sharing the source code that you used in scientific papers is important.

I'm investigating PRs for a super legacy codebase. Someone else already approved the PRs -- somebody who has never even run the code or had the project set up before.

The codebase hasn't been touched in two years, and it hasn't been updated in four. It's using CoffeeScript, Node v0, Electron v0.30, and Angular 1.x. I obviously don't have a dev environment anymore, either, and my previous dev env was on Windows, so I'll have to translate my custom build utilities from batch to bash (or much more likely: node).

To make matters worse: the PRs break both the initial project setup and the project itself (NPM can no longer find some installed packages, among other problems). And. someone already merged them into master. So: fuck.

I'm going to yell at the author and tell him to fix his shit. Why? Because when I check out my last commit prior to his PRs, everything works perfectly. Surprise!

I was so done with this project two and a half years ago. I'm still so done with it. I just don't want to maintain this anymore, or honestly even look at it. I would happily rebuild the project from scratch, but updating it from the days of IE8? No way.

My life is code and code is my life.

I am from Nepal, developing country, most of the people here have no idea about linux and free software, finding ubuntu on bus media server was a total surprise for me.

Sure hope this is a typo, else I'm in for a "surprise"

On Saturday's I volunteer at this place where I teach/tutor kids how to program. I was sitting down with this kid and helping him when I found this pleasant surprise hidden in his code-

[go to my other rant for pt.2]

Someone's going to get a surprise tonight 🤣

The GashlyCode Tinies

A is for Amy whose malloc was one byte short
B is for Basil who used a quadratic sort
C is for Chuck who checked floats for equality
D is for Desmond who double-freed memory
E is for Ed whose exceptions weren’t handled
F is for Franny whose stack pointers dangled
G is for Glenda whose reads and writes raced
H is for Hans who forgot the base case
I is for Ivan who did not initialize
J is for Jenny who did not know Least Surprise
K is for Kate whose inheritance depth might shock
L is for Larry who never released a lock
M is for Meg who used negatives as unsigned
N is for Ned with behavior left undefined
O is for Olive whose index was off by one
P is for Pat who ignored buffer overrun
Q is for Quentin whose numbers had overflows
R is for Rhoda whose code made the rep exposed
S is for Sam who skipped retesting after wait()
T is for Tom who lacked TCP_NODELAY
U is for Una whose functions were most verbose
V is for Vic who subtracted when floats were close
W is for Winnie who aliased arguments
X is for Xerxes who thought type casts made good sense
Y is for Yorick whose interface was too wide
Z is for Zack in whose code nulls were often spied

- Andrew Myers

Fucking surprise payment pop-ups in apps!

I've just accidentally bought an app, because it randomly showed the "buy pro version" pop up...

Wtf? Who parties in the middle of the week?
My Alcoludo game has been installed on 96 devices yesterday, when normally average daily installations are between 1 to 10. Not that I'm complaining 😅

!rant

Our colleague is celebrating his 10 years at our company, he's in for a surprise :D

(Spray Chalk)

So me and a coworker have gotten into a prank war. He went with several of my other coworkers to a trade show in Las Vegas this week, leaving me ample time to leave him a surprise...

He hates Frozen. Fucking hates it, seriously. Guess whose office just got decorated with 36 Frozen wall decals?

Can't wait to see his reaction on Monday!

Went to the ATM to get some cash.. entered an amount of 800 INR and to my surprise got an error saying "Your account does not have sufficient funds for this transaction" .. Instantly thought that my account has somehow been compromised.. checked the bank app and found out that I everything was normal..

As it turns out the ATM machine did not have 500 or 100 INR notes, thus it could not dispense my requested amount..

Now that's what we call a "Good" error handling..

I know this isn’t dev related at all but...

Nor is it a question, as my fat finger set it to...

Eminem just dropped a surprise album at midnight last night. No promotion, no bullshit. Just straight hip hop.

And the album cover is a throw back to the beastie boys!

If you can’t tell already, I am super pumped about this!!!

I have absolutely nothing wrong with the desire to make money. In fact, I'm willing to bet it's inspired some revolutionary technology to be made.

But for fuck sake YouTube, im not some 20ish year old Instagram personality with 15k followers that posts pictures in front of expensive cars at the car dealership or at some hotel you're just touring with the word "entrepreneur" in my bio.

I don't give a flying fuck about trying to make "easy" money. Stop showing ads of those cancerous "I'mma show you how to make easy money. I just need 2 hours of your time and you can make easy money without investing a dime" bullshit ads. It's a fucking scam and everyone knows this shit doesn't work.

My friend tried this shit and surprise surprise: it didn't fucking work.

Currently trying to convert a Python (2.7) framework into its C++. Surprise, surprise, the C++ APIs are also all deprecated

"Here's a guide to creating your project using our non-deprecated framework, except it will still call our deprecated methods under the hood"

Additionally, I had to make this framework work with OpenCV, which was complaining about my C++ framework being deprecated and not being able to link to missing modules (which were already installed).
All of this has eaten 4 hours of my life, I could as well throw the laptop out of the window

"Try reinstalling the missing modules separately"
*installation takes less than 1 minute*
*runs build again, everything work*

I'm done for today *flies away in desperation*

Out of necessity (or rather: lack of support) I've been neglecting my test suite for the past ~month. Now that one of the beta versions of RSpec has better Rails 6 support, I can finally get back to writing tests. Yay!

I just merged staging into my testing branch, and it's now 344 commits ahead of origin! eep.

So, I've got lots of tests to write. yay.

Surprise Skype calls be like

First commission done! Tofu 60%, Krytox 205g0 lubed creams, SA keycaps, and a special surprise foam dampening plate for extra thocc on that Brass plate.

I think the apps should have the Surprise Me feature, lots of oldies but goodies.... and quite frankly I'm running out of good content on the feeds....

Got locked out of all systems in the company.

They did not expect me to return after a sick leave and do a handover during my last 5 days in the company.

I wrote them that I'll return today and do a handover.

Got unlocked when I asked if I should go home and never come back 😛

We devs are rather pessimistic when it comes to User intelligence... Trust us... bad things can and will happen, and in a Universe of infinitesimally many choices, it does not come as a surprise that someone will fuck everything up badly.

1800rs/26.66 usd for 2tb Seagate hard disk wtf seriously, can't believe the product but it's on Amazon and I'm tempted, so I ordered it. Let's see what happens. Let the wait for the surprise begin. 😎

Lol. Went out on a date with my fiance; updoots at 950something.
Just came back to 1003. Thank you Cyanide for 33 updoots, glad you like my rants^~^
Now i can get my cat 😁

"how did you make that app?"
"nice website, how'd you make it?"
"I thought only geniuses could make x? how'd you make x?"

maybe because I put in half a fucking ounce of effort into making it. please kindly shut the fuck up and realize that I don't care enough to tell you how I did it, because it would take more fucking effort to tell you than to walk away (surprise?). no I will not take your idea in consideration. why? because it's not worth fucking considering. go fuck yourself. and don't ask me the same thing tomorrow you cunt.

Anyone else working from home today? Love that my current workplace has this option.

My previous workplace would have laughed in your face if you even suggested of working at home! Only our bosses were allowed to work from home (surprise surprise?)

TIFU by deploying not one, but two major releases to production at 5pm on a Friday. I trusted my testers, so one of the applications had a major bug in it. I just worked through a child's surprise party. hope the testers are having a lovely evening with their loved ones.

New job surprise: I will inherit a 900k lines of php code from a contractor dev shop. It is the company erp web app.
It has no version control, tests, architecture or configuration management of any kind.
There are just 1800 bug ridden files with almost no comments in a directory with lots of code duplication.
Also just learned that the contractor was paid a lot monthly for over 2 years for this monster.

I will need a raise quickly. At least management understands that I will need a couple of months to get a semblance of order in this madness.

And to you contractor I have your address and i'll try to restraint myself from vandalizing your house but I can't make any promises.

And fellow developers send help or beers or come and join me to teach this bastard a lesson.

I just discovered that a couple rants here talked about an open source project of mine 😍

Also, they were !rants 😄

Thanks for appreciating it! 😄

I just love how liferay keeps finding ways to surprise me...

Customer: need to fix this security issue
me: ok
me: fixed. Testing locally. Works 100%.
Me: testing on dev server. Works 100%
qa: testing on dev server. Works 100%
me: all good. Deploying to preprod
customer: it doesn't work
me: testing preprod - it doesn't work.
Me: scp whole app to local machine. App works 100%.
Me: preview loaded liferay properties in preprod via liferay adm panel. All props loaded ok.
Me: attach jdb to preprod's liferay to see what props are loaded. Only defaults are used [custom props not loaded according to jdb]

me: is there some quantum mechanics involved..? Liferay managed to both load and not to load props at the same time and the state only changes as it's observed...

Boss: "wow how it happened it's already November? Well, here is this project that we supposed to end on October that I didn't mentioned yet, sorry I was sure last month was September. Don't make any plans for next few weekends, ok?"

New guy started today. Nobody knew this. CPO forgot. There was no computer available. He was sent home after an hour of waiting in reception.

My friend left his project work and I undertook it. Contained a mysterious folder named " open only when you get frustrated".

When the time came, I opened it and saw a text file along with a folder. The text file says, "Blame the predecessor for the code", and the folder was named, "open only when you get frustrated next time".

When the time came, it contained yet another text file along with a folder. The text file says, "Blame the project owner", and the folder says, "open only when you seriously get frustrated".

Finally, the time came, the folder contained only one text file, and to my surprise, there wasn't any folder. The text file says, "TIME TO MAKE THREE NESTED FOLDERS".

!Rant

How do you deal with open space offices?

I find it quite difficult to focus, the constant chatting, the constant questions, phone ringing, surprise meeting, more question, arrays of interruptions and questions again. I believe I would be a lot more productive if left alone in the total, undiscontinued silence.

Have you found your escape, your zen, your inner focus? Please share, I need some ideas

So both my and my friends documentation for this project got rejected. It wasn't much of a surprise as we both have the same teacher who is very very strict on documentation. We are discussing all the documentation stuffs when he drops this:
Going to Africa and giving all children water is easier than getting this fucking documentation approved.

I fucking lost it xD. Okay, a bit harsh maybe but at least you get the idea.

Our company is restructuring and our CTO offered me the lead architect role. I'm currently the dev manager for about 40 guys and girls. I was delighted.

So, because I believe people make shit up in the absence of information, I called my seniors in to explain the possible restructure. To my surprise (and shock), they dropped the following pearl on me...

If they had to report to anyone else, they're going to leave the company.

I tried to convince them that one of them can apply for my role, also no.

Don't get me wrong, I love my team and do feel flattered about their response. But I also feel a bit trapped/confused now. I've spent the last 6 years building and protecting the team from 5 guys. And frankly, I'm tired and just get back to focusing on coding.

Any sage advice?

Was wondering when the stickers would come in when low and behold, my wife and I were packing up for a move and the stickers were just there in my sock/underwear drawer...

Confused as all hell I ask my wife, "Did you put these here?"

Turns out the letter arrived ages ago and she wanted to surprise me by opening it up and hide the stickers!

I mostly wear sandals so I had no need for socks and never moved them around to find the stickers underneath...

So here they are and thank you @dfox and @trogus for making this awesome community!!!

Upgraded my phone at the weekend. New phone turned up a day early, and Vodafone also sent me a surprise Google Home Hub

bool rant = false

I became my school's computer club president just last year. Although it's a computer club most of them aren't specially good in computer. We learn Photoshop for mostbof the time. So I decided to bring in unity3d and teach it myself.

I did managed to teach them in a slow pace. What came to me as a surprise is that I inspired another student to held unity class in school to teach other students game making .

Sometimes little thing we do may influence people in a big way we don't know.

"There's a problem with the app, can't you guys do something about it? It's wasting my time, aren't you gonna fix it already?"

Has been secretly working on a complete ground up rewrite which solves all the problems and reveals it to surprise and relief.

This is going to take a second to get dev related, please bear with me.

So, I'm from a pretty small (and poor) town. Like most small towns, not many give a damn about computer science/IT (that shows by the fact I'm the only CS major. And there's one IT major).

Now, my high school offers a few "career prep" classes. There's (no exaggeration) almost 5 or 6 classes for medical majors to prepare themselves; like 4 different agriculture based classes; 2 business major classes; and surprise surprise...not a damn Computer Science or IT class.

Yes, we have a computer class. But can you even call a "How to Use Microscoft Products" class an computer class? Finally by my senior year, I got pissed off by this.

I had/have relatives that have worked/are working in the school system, so it wasn't hard to get a meeting with the superintendent and the assistant superintendent to discuss my thoughts. They were both open to and even supported my ideas. But due to funding, it wasn't a feasible idea at the time. (Especially since not many care about CS or IT.)

This is where I get really really pissed off. Being that the town is small, the people with money/a name tend to control things. So, a former principal retired with the expectations to work in another county. However, this job fail through. But there was a "magical" opening for a job that didn't exist before this job fail through.

This pisses me off. We can create a job for someone and afford a full time salary for them, but we cant get an actual CS class. (And this isn't the first time a job was created for someone.)

Im so fucking disgusted with the paternalistic superiority complex so many techbros have.

They see themselves as the new elite priestly class, protectors of the Sacred Tech, convinced everyone else is too stupid to handle themselves.

The answer to stupidity is not to keep people in the dark, enforcing only more stupidity. What a dismal worldview. Treat other humans with respect and dignity and they will surprise you.

First Rant here.

So I was working on some integration test issues when I found this by accident made by a professional level SW engineer:

@Test
public void testMethod() throws ApiException {
Response res = null;
try {
res = serviceToTest.callMethod();
} catch(Exception e) {
assertNull(res);
}
}

Was wondering why tests were being green after some code changes I've made cuz tests could have not been green afterwards.

Together with a senior (I'm also professional only) I've tried to explain him for a good 1-2hrs why this code is useless and he still did it. Good thing there are no errors in the real implementation from him after fixing the tests as it's code freeze here and we are having go live in a few days 🙃

Also luckily he isn't working on our code anymore and has only been doing so for a few weeks.

Wasted a day with it and gonna check all of his code now before I run in the next surprise.

This is my bottom drawer. That's +150 packets of honey from the cafe downstairs. I've been slowly collecting them since I started working here. I'm leaving soon and thinking about leaving them so the next dev can have a pleasant surprise 😂

I'm the kind of dev who is willing to overtime because I enjoy coding. But my previous boss (owner) abused this opportunity and thinks he can call me whenever he wants. After my shift, he would be surprise if I go home immediately and ask If I will be working at home. He even called me while I'm in vacation (he wants me to work on a new feature). I already filed my leave 3mos before that. He is very manipulative to the other devs and doesn't even trust his managers.

PM couldn't configure IMAP for Airmail so he deleted and reinstalled the application... Twice. Surprise! Still doesn't work the second or third time. 🖕

I could not do anything else. Physics, Chemistry, Biology didn't interest me.

Tried competitve programming, failed miserably.
Tried app dev and server dev, they surprise me with their awesomeness everyday :D

Got this announcement that Manjaro is moving to GitLab. It doesn't mean much but it wouldn't surprise me if most Linux distributions start making the switch.

*Me Scrolling through devRant smiling at posts*

Boss comes from behind

Boss : Stackoverflow is a funny place 😂

I'm taken by surprise since I should be working, and im like

Ya amatuers developers asking stupid questions.. 😂
Damn you devRant Addiction. Phew !

The debugging process is often complicated.

There are often many factors involved in troubleshooting an error, but usually I have a hunch.

Sometimes I'll ignore my hunch and try other, smaller fixes first. This will irritate me for a while until I actually go after my hunch, run the program, and INSTANTLY everything works again.

Found myself relating that to real life today when I had a slight belly ache and eventually decided to take a massive shit and INSTANTLY felt better. The relief was so quick that I actually looked up and paused in surprise.

Stay curious and open-minded. If you hear something new take some 5-10 min and Google it. You will surprise much people even if you know just basics.

And if you're a fast learner, be aware, some people will be intimidated and try to oust you. But stay positive!

what a morning surprise!
{-_-}

Omg. Unexpected. Surprise 😍😍

Background: I'm in middle school, and two popular games that people liked got blocked. My friend and I made a website with the blocked games on a free 000webhost subdomain. It was a crappy, twenty minute website that I made with just a view counter, the games, and a chat room for people looking for other people to play with.

Story: one day I opened up the chat room where another friend and I were gonna talk about our teacher behind her back. I opened the chat room, and in the previous chat text, there was a line that said "Username: " and a text box. Then, about five lines, each with two text boxes separated by a ":". I knew that it could've been my friend that "made" the site with me (he designed the logo and occasionally modified the HTML), but I suspected not. He wasn't smart enough. Now when I was building the chat room, I internationally didn't put in XSS protection, just to see if someone would catch onto it, and, to my surprise, someone obviously did. Now there's someone in my school, who could be just like me, but I don't know where. Man, I really wanna find him (or her)! Of course, it could be my teachers, who are messing with it and could be trying to get it blocked -_-

I got an interview with a big multinational software company as a senior dev - the kind of place I never thought I would be privileged or knowledgeable enough to work for and wasnt expecting to get In to...

I aced it. They gave me an offer but - FOR DEVOPS 😬

basically my skills fit in perfectly with the server/ scaling issues they have and are far more valuable there. I know they do, I also know I can fix the issue and will have alot of fun coding it - I just dont think I want to monitor it or anything else.

I mean I do devops stuff all the time in aid of anything I code but their stack is a full time job- im scared that once the toolchain is automated ill be pulled towards sys admin like duties and lose touch with my craft... what do you guys think? Anyone shifted from dev to devops?

The recruiters have finally found me on LinkedIn!

And in a surprise turn of events suggested a job I'm actually qualified for... 😮

My firm works for this one design firm(they shall go unnamed) Let's call them BPOS, they ask us to customize a WordPress site, saying "it's very simple". They the proceeds to send us a psd file for us to refer to.
The file has a 6 fold homepage design with all the images on it in lines and ellipses. Their designer doesn't believe in folders to organize.
I send it back saying it's too disorganized. They then ask us for a time line, and I delay answering it.
I get the revised Psd and look and behold, folders. Though misspelled completely.
I go through the design and 'what a surprise' , the design and the theme don't even remotely match up.
We had agreed on a modest budget to do this with a 50% advance. The advance hadn't been sent.
They send us 4 psd files. 4 pages and asked us to estimate the cost.
Long story short. A project that should have taken 1 week to execute, has taken 2 months. And is still going on.

I just got the book "The C Programming Language, 2nd Edition" from Amazon.

I've had my wars with Amazon in the past for not protecting packages properly, and now it happened again. For the third time in 6 months.

The cover of the book is damaged, pages are bend a bit and it looks like someone took a key and tried to draw something on the front cover.

I contacted customer support to get a replacement, which was no problem, but still fucking annoying that I have to spend time on this shit.
Anyway, what pisses me off is the amount of work I have to do in order to send this shit back to them. Holy fuck!

First of all, I haven't met a single competent employee at a "post office" here in Denmark, as all of the offices are now a part of a either hyper markets or grocery stores. This means, that it's the stores employees handling this.

In this process from Amazon I have to actually clear it for customs with a form they need to take care of.
I have to print 4 labels, 2 which I need to sign and 2 I need to do something else with...

But I'm so freaking scared that they'll fuck this up and I'll get billed for 2 books. It wouldn't fucking surprise me, considering how fucking shit our postal service is in Denmark and how I've been screwed over by Amazon in the past

Just me getting angry about the reaction after the Cambridge-scandal?
The news are spamming it every hour, and suddenly everyone is "well aware about my privacy" and deleting their Facebooks.

I mean, as if we didn't know this all along. O-fucking-course your data is stored and sold for adds, you accepted it when you wanted to "see which celebrity you are alike"!

I walk around and talk about privacy with people kinda a lot, and nobody seems to care. And then this happens, and people are going nuts. Waow, what a surprise!

Haha, have a nice evening DevRanters! ;) (20:55)@swe

After spending 8 hours straight trying to install and configure the LAMP stack + WordPress on Linux in vain, this comes as a pleasant surprise. I guess I am officially a part of this now. Minus being able to set up a local dev environment... Fuk.

So in Germany we have something like 'cooperative study'. You are employed in a company and study 'normal' at a university. This is in 3 month phases, i.e. 3 months working, 3 months studying.

At the moment I'm working and there is a colleauge, that seems to have no high confidence in my programming skills.
Today I saw parts of his NodeJS code and I thought I'm going crazy.
No comments, no real usage of callbacks or at least promises and I dont want to talk about naming of the variables.
I caught myself arguing with this guy too often and always thought I'm the stupid one, that doesn't understand him.
But I'm starting to think, He is the one that is hard to understand.

How ever, I stay confident and also keep a nice tone (also help as much as I can) and sometimes we also have the same thoughts in some topicd. It's not that bad, but sometimes I feel underestimated.

But hey, so it's a bigger surprise if I'm presenting my results and show them what I'm able to do 👍🏻

Wow, I didn't expect this! My phone brand (Huawei) actually updated my phone from Marshmallow to Nougat! I was so used to OEMs letting their customers die with old versions :)

I had a performance review with my boss and his boss today.

After they told me what they wanted to, they asked for my feedback. I was very honest with them and didn't only tell them the good stuff but the things I've been disappointed with as well.

Well, last year was mostly a big fat disappointment for me at the company, both on a professional and a personal level, which seemingly took them by surprise and hurt their feelings because they think it is the best place to work at. Even though I tried to make my feedback as constructive as possible, they didn't really seem to understand the problems and kept saying what a good company this is and what amazing opportunities will this year hold.

And they gave me a raise before I could even ask for it.

Things I wish people had said at my first job (in light of lots of the people I see starting their first dev gig on here). Please add yours.

Congrats!
Take a breath, you will be fine.
If you get frustrated, take a moment to collect your thoughts.
Don't be afraid to say you don't know, you are not expected to know everything.
Your workday needs to end at a decent time. Don't overdo it or you will be useless for more of your hours.
Always take whatever length of time you think something will take and double it. If you think it will take 15 minutes, it'll probably take your 4 hours.
Concentrate on networking and personal relationships.
Pick the smartest people who have moved the most vertically and pay attention to what they say, they might know a lot.
When management makes an "unwise" or "crazy" decision, ask them why or what the context or motive is that made then arrive at that course of action. Some of them might surprise you in their bigger picture motives or dumbassedness.
Six sigma may be in your future, learn what it is.
Automate as much of your own job as possible.

Um, that's all I've got for now. Hopefully that's helpful to people just starting out. Feel free to add yours.

Ahh boy, uni sure is fun...
I missed my comp-sci class last week when we got a project assigned. No big deal, right? We have an online student portal where teachers can post assignments for everyone to see. I'm sure it's in there.

It's not.

Okay. How about the syllabus? Professors are supposed to create a weekly schedule for students to follow, it's probably in there, right?

Nope. Nothing.

Alright... I guess I'll email him. At this point about two classes have passed and I haven't heard anything in class, so I fire off a quick email to the professor asking for the details to be posted to the web portal so I at least have some idea of what I'm doing.
Surprise surprise, I get a response in about an hour.

"I'm not posting anything online. You should have been in class. Talk to a classmate."

*sigh*

So, from what I can gather from my classmates, we have to design a game using python. It might be a quiz, maybe. We have a week.

Are you fucking kidding me? Is it really that hard to take 20 minutes to type up a few requirements so your students at least know what you're grading for? I barely have any idea of what you even want, and from the three people I talked to it wasn't very clear even when he explained it in class. Post your assignments online, asshole!

! random story

Today i was cleaning my laptop and on right side of it i suddenly touched a button... !!!

!!!!SURPRISE !!!!

DVD player popped out.. and it's dusty as hell.. I was like what ?? How long this has been in laptop.. It's weird.. I never used it.. Why the heck we need it.. I didn't saw anybody holding dvd disc nowadays .. Man nobody uses those shit's anymore.. we have pen drives and External HDD's now. Why the heck manufacture's still keep these dvd player in Laptop's..

But it brought my childhood memories back though.. !!

That feeling of regret after you get a not-so-good grade in a class because you were too advanced in the subject matter. "I already know java I don't need to go to class *miss surprise quiz and class work*" <- me in csc 101 and 102 (retook both). Moral of the story: don't learn too fast on your own if you're in school if you get bored really easily.

Today Chrome has a surprise for us. Hope is this...

Ain't surprise... Win 7 is still one of the amazing few things that came from MS.

i love to actually understand how the code works! like you're writing some text and surprise - it does magic? no. it goes deeper than that. and when you understand those concepts, coding becomes more serious/fun and interesting

When high schools hire CS teachers without a teaching degree why should it be a surprise when THEY DONT KNOW HOW TO FUCKING TEACH.

Today was my last piano lesson with my jazzy teacher. I'll miss him. He teached me a lot and I nearly always looked forward to piano lessons.

I brought wine (Mosel life) and 5 songs - 3 jazz classics (It don't mean a Thing, Take Five and Fly me to the Moon), his favorite from the Daft Punk album I borrowed him and one of his own songs (surprise) and we improvised on these songs. I was a little nervous.. or sad but I didn't play as good as yesterday eve. He asked me why I never did that before. He'd love to practice improvising with me because I suck at reading sheet music (I said that and I'm a lazy learner with sheets).

R.I.P. Monday afternoon.

My terminal (Tilix) didn't have a header bar for a quite a while now. I had grown to live without it even though I missed looking at the terminal title to figure where I was.

Today I my hand accidentally hit F11 and I was in for a surprise. I actually exclaimed aloud in the office.

I waited to test, confirm and verify that the header bar itself was not a bug before I facepalmed myself

Fucking piece of shit, i want to make a fairly thin app with some native functionality and

Flutter - no documentation whatsoever, what a surprise
React native - i need 3 extra modules just to do what i want
Cordova - fuck no
Litho - seems fine but i dont wanna use native, i dont even have adb on my laptop

When you want to be more secure

Finally on vacation.

As an American the first surprise I got in Berlin is that Burger King serves beer. Never seen that ever back home. (Okay I was in Denmark on a plane but it still was cool darn it)

I've been thinking for the year about working here, but now that I showed up the idea is scaring me a bit. Go figure. 😭

I want to see more of Germany beyond Berlin, what do our German natives like here?

Well that is just fucking lovely!

Woah... So pretty now, nice surprise.

Vulkan 1.2 is out and ohhh what is this ? Mesa already has support for it ? Ohhhh wait. Windows drivers dont have support yet ?
Well sad. But yeah its just came out so no surprise there.
But im glad we already have it basically hours after release.

Ohhhhh also NVIDIA 10xx and 20xx GPU owners who hate proprietery crap can now be happy. Linux 5.6 brings hardware acceleration for you !

On linux 5.6 note AMD owners can be excited for some power management if you are on laptop. And yes huge improvements. I went from 3h to 5h battery life.

My boss gave us a spring framework assignment as a training. I did it in half the time required while my colleague was struggling with it. later on he asked me for help so i came to his desk and to my surprise here i am looking at my code and he managed to f*** it up. I don't mind taking my code but have the decency to say so. P.S: he accessed my pc over LAN from the run command

Not having any testers.

Management assuming we devs can test our enterprise app using only auotmation tests.

Big surprise coming when we release.

So in earlier rant i said stuff about 4.14 on my phone.
Like calls not waking up the device so you would not even know somebody called you.
Or that mic wasnt working.
Mic was kind of easy as it was just a regulator disabling itself. After setting voltage and enabling in manually we had working mic. Now the actual cause of that was funny. The character limit for regulators with adress and everything was 64. Well surprise surprise our was just 3 chars longer and thus not getting set.

I debugged it and other person fixed it.

Now for the calls. That was tricky. How do you want to debug something if the IRQ call to wake up isnt even there.
Thats the hint. IRQ call isnt there. So we had similar issue on 4.9. Looking at the fix for 4.9 and we saw nothing that wasnt there already. Then i noticed that 2 flags were still there. One for making the device mask IRQ calls and second to skip wake signals. Yup that would fit why we cant see them and why its not waking up.
Removing them as it is in 4.9 and quick build on my fast fast server and its fixed.

Surprisingly enough that fix was PRed by me as i found the solution.
I didnt feel amazing fixing it but when every dev in that group who is like above me in so many levels in android porting was like yeah good job Haxk20 and virtual patted me. Now that felt fucking amazing.

I said before they wont brainspoon you the solution to some issue. They make you debug it yourself and fix it on your own. As if they gave you solution you will take it and learn shit from why the F it worked. Im making progress in debugging android and kernel and it feels amazing.

When I started working as designer my boss at that time liked to invite people to remote control me, sit or stand behind my neck to explain their will and tell me to do this, "can we try this?", "can it be changed to another color?", "is it possible to move logo to the left?" and all that m*f*cking shit.

It didn't take long before I decided that I wouldnt accept that anymore.

They come with that energy, that illusion of power to play god with your fast mouse...

The first solution was to stand up with them around the chair and tell them I would take notes, then do the changes and mail them. That worked but sometimes it didn't feel right for the boss who got mad and tried to handle the mouse like trying to pretend she was going to do it...

In case the visit was by surprise I used this method, not sitting in worst position. Just recover dignity standing to their commaning stance.

The best and what became the real solution was printing things we needed, receive and guide clients to a meeting room where we would discuss things and take notes on the papers.

I don't always write code, but when I do I'll make sure I leave some surprise bugs.

Our employee management system, for some reason, stored Testlists (I work in QA) linked to the user accounts that created them. Now after an colleague who worked there for five years left pretty much all our data was suddenly down the drain and nobody backed the fricking server up because, hey, whats the fun in that. Now all the tests need to be rewritten and other than the whole gui test automation of our product, maintenance of the same for another product, manually testing dev issues and training my new code monkeys to frickin not commit non working code to the trunk I have now also "Make a better Employee management system" (roughly translated those are the specs I've got) on my plate... I can remember back to the care free days of just before my boss asked me if I wanted to try to automate some of the test cases... How did I ever survive this paralyzing tranquility. Ha, surprise.
!rant, I fucking love the stress and juggling a shit ton of problems at the same time keeps ine on edge.

One good thing about working on horrible, horrible products is that you’ve been there now. You’ve seen the worst and clawed through it. Nothing will come as much of a surprise to you. You’ll see shit codebases and it’ll be surprising but not soul shattering. I feel like that’s a required piece of experience in itself is being put through legacy hell. How else do you k own how to right future wrongs?

There are these type of costumers who think they better know how much time it takes to do something then me. They think because they can do a little SQL and VBA, they know what it takes to work on an E-Commerce Plattform. What’s wrong with this shitheads? How about some respect?
They tried to compare the integration of an Instagram wall with integrating automated product variations. They then proposed some plugins that i should use. Surprise the plugins are completely useless for the usecase.
I just want to hit them with their dumbness. In the face. Very hard.

Commented on bit bucket to a PR about a missing @para. Hit submit and bam everyone gets an email and sees the following. Turns out @param is someones handler:

So it is surely known already that I run new android as soon as it comes out.
But surprise that's not bleeding edge.
And you know I like stuff beyond bleeding edge.
Sooo
The server I have has a job to do. Well daily job to be precise.
I have script to update my android sources. But they are not on tags. That's lame. Master branch ouu yeah now we are talking. Script is run every day and builds the ROM. But since I'm not in the mood to patch every day the build with magisk the script does it for me haha.
Ouu yeah also I set up the sevrer to upload the ota package to my VPS and there I have my ota update server. So every day at 9am I get notification to update my system.
Fuck yes.

Fucking outlook, can't even render simple html.

Our company wanted a custom newsletter to send to our clients. Before vacation I dropped a few guidelines to our designer, how our newsletter should look. 640px width, common fonts for everyone to render properly, stuff like that. To my fucking surprise they managed to create the most designed newsletter I've seen. Custom font, custom letter sizings, negative row gaps, pixel to pixel image locations. After writing custom html for it and managing to get all perfectly in 3 hours, to my surprise I found out, that outlook is broken. FML
Now everything must be redesigned and simplified, just because I was naive enough to think, that all mail clients manage to render simple HTML...

TIL in China you need to get a government issued license to run a website. Wouldn't surprise me if the EU started taking cards from their playbook.

TIL cats get cold fur when asleep even when warm sometimes. I went to pet my cat and she was cold, I thought she was dead, and suddenly she springs up, trilling in surprise, as I woke her up.

Today my boss decided that he wanted to manage his project properly. After a year he gave us deadlines (we still had deadlines but usually we did not know them). I open the xlsx file (yeah... xlsx) and I see the date of today as deadline. Well, at least it won't be a surprise this time.

!rant

I spent a few hours making a VS Code plugin to improve my work flow, published it on the marketplace a few days ago so that I can easily install it everywhere. But to my surprise that shit gets about 7 installs a day! I don't get why. I don't have clear instructions on how to use it anywhere.

But hey, I'm not complaining! 😁

was jobless for some time but in those days I was seeing this smoking-hot mulata friend of a cousin. After several visits and "movie days" I asked her out for dinner which, to my surprise because I'm a nobody, she accepted.

we went out and eat some tacos in her favorite soda around the corner. And we went out a second time IIRC.

needless to say, the money that paid that modest dinner with such amazona was earned working as a freelancer in PeoplePerHour doing junior-level stuff in Python, I learned the language during my four last years in high school.

ah, how I miss that girl 🤷‍♂️.

You know what I really like? When apps override the scrolling behaviour...
Yes, I really want you to disable my scrolling settings and enforce your own goddamn scrolling logic, it's so great to have shit I'm used to being forcibly removed from me.
Biggest surprise is the latest place I've seen this is Unreal Engine :O Scrolling the news in the launcher is slow as fuck.

Ugggh. Has anyone else on here worked with MFC?

I've been updating some legacy software and it's been like wading through a swap that was caused by a malfunctioning trailer park septic system: no map, and mostly shit with the occasional nasty surprise.

A school-related rant:

Went to my school yesterday to get my computer science degree, aaaand....

Surprise! You got a degree in Liberal Arts! Even though when you graduated, it said Computer Science and thought they already fixed the problem about me graduating with Liberal Arts instead of CS! Nope! Still Liberal Arts!

Sigh, fuck that school. I'm sure when my wife finds out about it, she'll definitely flip out and make me fix this, because she also spent time for me to finish school and get a stupid degree. I just don't wanna deal with it anymore and instead keep learning on my own, make projects, and be so good that employers can't ignore me.

Ok so I have done some work with crypto currency mining pools and recently a client requested for me to make a splash page that showed data from multiple instances of these pools APIs. I went to find some documentation for this open source api and to my surprise there is none. I thought of querying the public API from the clients side and it worked, however it's so slow that the data shows up roughly 20 seconds after the page loads.

Easy fix right? Make a PHP server get the data every 5 seconds, cache it and serve the data with the page and use a websocket for live updates! Until I found out that there is no practical way in this garbage framework to get the damn API data without making an HTTP request or mutilating the original source code. I'm so done with this garbage framework. It literally loads pages based on a page and action parameter on the index.php. I quit.

I get the whole anger at robinhood and the stock market, I really do.

But on the other hand - what did you expect? A bunch of people on Reddit could *genuinely* cause hedge funds to lose billions without them pulling strings to fight back?! They don't care if it's illegal or immoral. They know the worst they'll get is a fine that's way, way less than they stand to make.

Don't get me wrong, the anger here is justified completely. The surprise however, that's really not.

! Rant
I recently learned about rubber duck debugging hence wanted to buy one.
So went on to Amazon.in to find some.
And surprise surprise guess whom did I find in my instagram feed?
Marketing has turned into stalking these days eh?

First rant guys!

I'm a .net and PHP developer and love visual studio. I also hate windows 10 and it's stupid surprise reboots. Twice I switched to Linux mint but returned to windows because of the IDE. Been on VS (with PHP tools) for too long and nothing on Linux comes close to VS not to mention the lack of .net 4.6 (no mono) on Linux. M$ make Visual Studio 2015 cross platform!

What idiot uses 0 for a success response!!! Integrating with a 3rd party I found a bug in our code that uses the default value for an int when the external server can't be reached.

As it happens 0 is the default integer in most languages so no surprise when our system accepted the 3rd party as a success when it blew up 😒

I've every been a Arch Linux fag. It's my main OS from 5 years. With a small parenthesis of two months of FreeBSD recently, I've used before Arch Kubuntu, Ubuntu, Fedora KDE, OpenSolaris (randomly), CentOs, plus a lot of others distro for tests.
But I've never tested Debian!
So I've installed it on my small server.

Oh... My... God.... It's fantastic. PACMAN >>> apt, but damn it's really stable and out of the box even if minimal. A very surprise. I think it can be my favorite remote Linux for a long time....

But a question rises. Why with a father like Debian... Ubuntu after the 11.04 is such a shame? The last I've tested is the 12.04 I think, but I've hated it, and I hate it even now. (Crash, driver not found, apt problem, very heavy repos and my internet sucks, UNITY, etc...)

Ubuntu, what happened to you ...? With Kubuntu 8 you were such a good guy...

!rant

When smaller web sweatshops try to under-quote to get your client to jump ship.

Boy, oh boy! They are in for a nasty surprise. Good luck fellas!

Here it goes,

So there I was a Linux enthusiast stuck in a windows job for about 3 years. I would spend my weekends doing Linux related tasks for my personal amusement, while I spent my week doing windows maintenance and development (partially) professionally.
It was about 2014 I started building an openstack cluster at home and i was so stoked! I searched for openstack summits or meetups and for my surprise there was an openstack meetup in my town. Holly 🐄 I said.
The date of the event came and I left work earlier to attend the meetup.
There , I had a talk with the meetup organizer/speaker and he told he was interested in what I was doing and that they were going to open a job in the next months.

A few months later still at my boring job I got an email from him for an interview.
Everything went just about right...and here I am a Linux systems engineer doing everything I love for a living...

So it's officially a month into my new job...

I have to say, sometimes life can surprise you, I never expected things to go down so smoothly especially after getting fired from my previous one.

My manager is just an amazing super friendly guy, great colleagues with positive attitudes, positive work environment, better benefits, the list goes on...

Honestly I would say the biggest con is I now work 45hrs/week instead of 35, which might be a dealbreaker for some but I also work in the cloud industry which is honestly miles ahead than the UAT testing crap I used to do, plus the company pays for your certifications after you pass, so it's a small price to pay imo.

If any of you are struggling with a shitty job/work environment don't give up, out of all the places I worked at I never felt appreciated until I came here, keep on grinding.

(Part 2/2?)

THE RAT-RACE ARC:

I get a mail 2 months into this fiasco telling me to register on their website and take up another test. I was already over with my emergency and was working my full-time default. (Fortunately I found another internship during this time which was one of the best initiatives I've worked with).

It asks me to register as a new user, take up the test and "share" my results. Not pushing it on insta/fb but legitimately share my test results link to my friends manually like a referral code. The more shares the more marks I'll get in the test. Why the test you ask. Of course to sign you up for the same Whatsapp trickery bullshit.

Luckily these nutcases didn't know they could be bypassed. I simply opened the link in incognito and logged in with my own account and that counted as a point. So I automated that shit.

Surprise surprise. The same fucking "Hello everyone" message into my mail. To my surprise I was relatively lucky to get ghosted after my attempt. This story is quite depressing in general cases. You're supposed to do this assignment shit for 2 months and then they ask for 2000 INR for a training period, past which you are paid between 1000/- and 7000/-. Though I didn't get the chance but I'm willing to bet you get 1000/- per month in a 2-MONTH INTERNSHIP. WTF.

You also have the other option of ranking first in their 3 consecutive competition that they hold. The theme is again to create chunks of their actual outsourced work.

WHY NOW:

The reason why this rant sparked is because I recently received an email with my results of the aptitude exam that I first took before the Whatsapp fiasco. I imagine they just pushed out a new update to their test thingy and forgot to set it's limit.

THE CORRECTION ARC:

I pushed this message to Internshala. They were kind enough to remove them from their website. I also shot down their Angel and Indeed listings. I sent a strongly worded email counting their con-artist operations and how I've alerted authorities (obviously a bluff but I was enjoying it). They most probably are not affected by this though. They might still be continuing their operations on their website.

I'm sharing the story here with the moral of:

Don't do jackshit if they're not compensating you for it

Always check for reviews before you start working at a place.

Be cautious of bulk messages (and the infamous HEY GUYS!! opening)

Don't do anything outside your work specification at least while doing an assignment.

You're free to question and inquire respectfully about the proceedings.

If you're good at your job you'll get good working place. No need to crush yourself with an oppressive job due to external restrictions.

And if you manage a company, please don't take advantage of helplessness.

There's no good ending to this tale as I have not received a follow-up. Though I want to see scumbags of their calibre shot down without remorse.

Good bye and thank you for listening.

MD came round and said thanks for pulling out the stops and working on stuff I never done to get projects done. nearly fell over.

What I got from my secret santa at work! Do any of you guys have a workplace secret santa thing?

Wow, traveling by ICE (German long distance trains) and one of them is running late.
What a fucking surprise.

so i have to practice on codewars for homework and my code.. doesnt work! what a surprise. i was wondering if anyone could tell me whats wrong since yall are professionals. its probably a stupid mistake. this is the challenge: Implement a method that excepts three integer values a, b, c. The message return true if a triangle can be built with the sides of given length and false in any other case.

Friend just sent this to me. Nice surprise.

just received a marketing email "this is ur last chance to surprise ur girlfriend"...

..

...

........

Pressed the button +.

Wooow

I can choose to rant or ask a question ;) good surprise.

Anyhow !rant

Decided to watch Mr.Robot...

Im not very good at coding yet but i want to be ;) coz i want to be a badass like him ;)