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WHY THE FUCKIDY FUCK DO PEOPLE THINK THAT JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE A DEVELOPER THEN YOU CAN DO EVERY FUCKING THING IN A SNAP?!
THIS ENTIRE SUMMER I WORKED FOR THIS MIDGET OF A FUCK AND THE IDEA WAS TO MAINLY DEVELOP AN IOS APP FOR THEIR PRODUCT. THAT ONE APP TRANSLATED TO THREE SEPARATE APPS AND KEEP IN MIND THAT I AM THE ONLY DEVELOPER THEY HAVE SO I HAVE TO DEVELOP IT, TEST IT AND DOCUMENT IT!! AND WHAT'S EVEN WORSE IS HE KEEPS GIVING ME DESIGNS AT THE LAST MINUTE SO I ALWAYS END UP HAVING TO CREATE NEW PROJECTS ALL THE TIME. WHEN A WEEK PASSES BY WITHOUT ANY UPDATE HE AND HIS FUCKED UP BRAIN CELLS GATHER A MEETING WITH HIS 'DONALD TRUMP HANDS-SIZED' BALLS TO ASK ME, 'WHY ARE YOU TAKING SO LONG? THESE ARE JUST THREE BUTTONS ON THIS VIEW?' MOTHERFUCKING COCKSUCKER!! GO GET YOUR MOM TO DO THIS WORK THEN IF IT'S JUST THREE BUTTONS. TO HIM EVERYTHING IN IOS WHICH INCORPORATES A TAP IS A FUCKING BUTTON! BUTTON THIS! BUTTON THAT! AND IT'S NOT LIKE HE HAS SIMPLE DESIGNS..NO.NO.NO.NO. THIS ASSHOLE-SHAPED-HEAD MUGGET DESIGNS SHIT WHICH REQUIRES ME TO HAVE TO DRAW A UIVIEW AS THE SHAPE OF A HUMAN BODY AND HEART. THEN ASIDE FROM THAT, JUST BECAUSE MY RESUME SAYS I MINORED IN MATH AND APPLIED MATH, HE SENDS ME A PAPER THAT EXPLAINS MATHEMATICAL CONCEPTS OF DATA ANALYSIS THEN WANTS TO MEET WITH ME TO DISCUSS THE SUGGESTED METHODS THEN IMPLEMENT THEM. AT THIS POINT I HAD ALREADY IMPLEMENTED AN ALGO FOR COUNTING THE NUMBER OF STEPS THAT WAS WAY WAY WAY MORE ACCURATE THAN THE SHIT THEY HAD IN THEIR CONTROLLER..
SO AS I AM ABOUT TO FINISH IMPLEMENTING JUST THE INITIAL 5 VIEWS OF THIS 'FINAL' APP, HE SERIOUSLY WALKS IN AND TELLS ME, SO I'M STARTING TO WORRY THAT WE'LL NOT MEET THE AUGUST DEADLINE SO I'M THINKING MAYBE YOU SHOULD START SWITCHING BETWEEN DEVELOPMENT. WORK ON IOS FOR 4 HOURS THEN SWITCH TO ANDROID FOR THE REMAINDER OF THE TIME. OH AND UHH IF YOU FEEL LIKE TAKING THE IMAC WITH YOU TO WORK FROM HOME, THAT'S FINE AS WELL AND I'LL BE AVAILABLE IN THE WEEKENDS AS WELL. IT WAS AT THIS MOMENT THAT I REALLY REALLY HOPED I WERE GAY! LIKE 'NO LUBE' STYLE KINDA GAY!! OH BTW AT SOME POINT HE HAD ME PROGRAM ONE OF THEIR CONTROLLERS, AND WAS ASKING IF I COULD START RESEARCHING MEANS OF WRITING AN SDK FOR THEM.
KEEP IN MIND THAT I'M AN INTERN WITH ONE YEAR IOS DEV EXPERIENCE.. THEN HE WANTS ME TO ENTIRELY START LEARNING ANDROID AND GIVE HIM TWO VERSIONS OF THIS THIRD APP IN TWO WEEKS.
HE CAN GO SUCK HIS OWN DICK WHILE GETTING FINGER FUCKED BY A FORK WITH A BLUE WHALE'S 6FT LONG DICK UP HIS MOUTH.
*** that felt good ****36
Android Development be like:
- Has great idea for app or feature
- Boots up PC
- Starts android studio and creates new project
- Build error
- Gradle build failed
- Android studio crashes
- Java Error
- Shutsdown PC
- Goes and hangs himself
Pretty accurate if you ask me 😀😀😀😎18
My classmate just fell for a phishing email from "PayPal."
She was talking about her payment being declined to her friend.
It peaked my attention when she said after logging in, she was lead to a blank page.
I asked if I could see it and it was definitely a phishing email
I will admit, it's one of the most professional phishing email I've ever seen, but the grammar wasn't very professional and the PayPal logo wasn't completely accurate.
Why do these idiots fall for everything?31
Starting 124,086,667,135,647* projects, but never actually finishing them.
* Note this number is an estimation and may not be entirely accurate.3
Things have been a little too quiet on my side here, so its time for an exciting new series:
practiseSafeHex's new life as a manager.
Episode 1: Dealing with the new backend team
It's great to be back folks. Since our last series where we delved into the mind numbing idiocy of former colleagues, a lot has changed. I've moved to a new company and taken a step up as a Dev manager / Tech lead. Now I know what you are all thinking, sounds more dull and boring right? Well it wouldn't be a practiseSafeHex series if we weren't ...
DEALING! ... WITH! ... IDIOTS!
Bingo! so lets jump right in and kick us off with a good one.
So for the past few months i've been on an on-boarding / fact finding / figuring out this shit-storm, mission to understand more about what it is i'm suppose to do and how to do it. Last week, as part of this, I had the esteemed pleasure of meeting face to face with the remote backend team i've been working with. Lets rattle off a few facts to catch us all up:
- 8 hour time difference to me
- No documentation other than a non-maintained swagger doc
- Swagger is reporting errors and several of the input models are just `Type: String`
- The one model that seems accurate, has every property listed as optional, including what must be the primary key
- Properties go missing and get removed at the drop of a hat and we are never told.
- First email I sent them took 27 days to reply, my response to that hasn't been answered so far 31 days later (new record! way to go team, I knew we could do it!!!)
- I deal directly with 2 of them, the manager and the tech lead. Based on how things have gone so far, i've nick named them:
So lets look at some example of their work:
- I was trying to test the new backend, I saw no data in QA. They said it wouldn't show up until mid day their time, which is middle of the night for us. I said we need data in our timezone and I was told: a) "You don't understand how big this system is" (which is their new catch phrase) b) "Your timezone is not my concern"
- The whole org started testing 2 days later. The next day a member from each team was on a call and I was asked to give an update of how the testing was going on the mobile side. I said I was completely blocked because I can't get test data. Backend were asked to respond. They acknowledged they were aware, but that mobile don't understand how big the system is, and that the mobile team need to come up with ideas for the backend team, as to how mobile can test it. I said we can't do anything without test data, they said ... can you guess what? ... correct "you don't understand how big the system is"
- We eventually got something going and I noticed that only 1 of the 5 API changes due on their side was done. Opened tickets. 2 days later asked them for progress and was told that "new findings" always go to the bottom of the backlog, and they are busy with other things. I said these were suppose to be done days ago. They said you can't give us 2 days notice and expect everything done. I said the original ticket was opened a month a go *sends link* ......... *long silence* ...... "ok, but you don't understand how big the system is, this is a lot of work"
- We were on a call. Product was asking the backend manager (aka "Ass") a question about a slight upgrade to the new feature. While trying to talk, the tech lead (aka "Hole") kept cutting everyone off by saying loudly "but thats not in scope". The question was "is this possible in the future" and "how long would it take", coming from management and product development. Hole just kept saying "its not in scope", until he was told to be quiet by several people.
- An API was sending down JSON with a string containing a message for the user with 2 bits of data inside it. We asked for one of those pieces to also come down as a property as the string can change and we needed it client side. We got that. A few days later we found an edge case and asked for the second piece of data to be a property too. Now keep in mind, they clearly already have access to them in order to make the string. We were told "If you keep requesting changes like this, you are going to delay the release of the backend by up to 2 weeks"
Yes folks, there you have it, the most minuscule JSON modifications, can delay your release by up to 2 weeks ........ maybe I should just tell product, that they don't understand how big the app is, and claim we can't build it on our side? Seems to work for them
Thats all the time we have for today,
Tune in for more, where we'll be looking into such topics as:
- If god himself was an iOS developer ... not
- Why automate when you can spend all day doing it by hand
- Its more time-efficient to just give everything a story point of 5
- Why waste time replying to emails ... when you can do nothing instead
See you all next week,
In a user-interface design meeting over a regulatory compliance implementation:
User: “We’ll need to input a city.”
Dev: “Should we validate that city against the state, zip code, and country?”
User: “You are going to make me enter all that data? Ugh…then make it a drop-down. I select the city and the state, zip code auto-fill. I don’t want to make a mistake typing any of that data in.”
Me: “I don’t think a drop-down of every city in the US is feasible.”
Manage: “Why? There cannot be that many. Drop-down is fine. What about the button? We have a few icons to choose from…”
Me: “Uh..yea…there are thousands of cities in the US. Way too much data to for anyone to realistically scroll through”
Dev: “They won’t have to scroll, I’ll filter the list when they start typing.”
Me: “That’s not really the issue and if they are typing the city anyway, just let them type it in.”
User: “What if I mistype Ch1cago? We could inadvertently be out of compliance. The system should never open the company up for federal lawsuits”
Me: “If we’re hiring individuals responsible for legal compliance who can’t spell Chicago, we should be sued by the federal government. We should validate the data the best we can, but it is ultimately your department’s responsibility for data accuracy.”
Manager: “Now now…it’s all our responsibility. What is wrong with a few thousand item drop-down?”
Me: “Um, memory, network bandwidth, database storage, who maintains this list of cities? A lot of time and resources could be saved by simply paying attention.”
Manager: “Memory? Well, memory is cheap. If the workstation needs more memory, we’ll add more”
Dev: “Creating a drop-down is easy and selecting thousands of rows from the database should be fast enough. If the selection is slow, I’ll put it in a thread.”
DBA: “Table won’t be that big and won’t take up much disk space. We’ll need to setup stored procedures, and data import jobs from somewhere to maintain the data. New cities, name changes, ect. ”
Manager: “And if the network starts becoming too slow, we’ll have the Networking dept. open up the valves.”
Me: “Am I the only one seeing all the moving parts we’re introducing just to keep someone from misspelling ‘Chicago’? I’ll admit I’m wrong or maybe I’m not looking at the problem correctly. The point of redesigning the compliance system is to make it simpler, not more complex.”
Manager: “I’m missing the point to why we’re still talking about this. Decision has been made. Drop-down of all cities in the US. Moving on to the button’s icon ..”
Me: “Where is the list of cities going to come from?”
<few seconds of silence>
Dev: “Post office I guess.”
Me: “You guess?…OK…Who is going to manage this list of cities? The manager responsible for regulations?”
User: “Thousands of cities? Oh no …no one is our area has time for that. The system should do it”
Me: “OK, the system. That falls on the DBA. Are you going to be responsible for keeping the data accurate? What is going to audit the cities to make sure the names are properly named and associated with the correct state?”
DBA: “Uh..I don’t know…um…I can set up a job to run every night”
Me: “A job to do what? Validate the data against what?”
Manager: “Do you have a point? No one said it would be easy and all of those details can be answered later.”
Me: “Almost done, and this should be easy. How many cities do we currently have to maintain compliance?”
User: “Maybe 4 or 5. Not many. Regulations are mostly on a state level.”
Me: “When was the last time we created a new city compliance?”
User: “Maybe, 8 years ago. It was before I started.”
Me: “So we’re creating all this complexity for data that, realistically, probably won’t ever change?”
User: “Oh crap, you’re right. What the hell was I thinking…Scratch the drop-down idea. I doubt we’re have a new city regulation anytime soon and how hard is it to type in a city?”
Manager: “OK, are we done wasting everyone’s time on this? No drop-down of cities...next …Let’s get back to the button’s icon …”
Simplicity 1, complexity 0.17
Saw a rant a few days ago about hotel WiFi being shitty.
I'm just here to confirm that rant was accurate.2
Made this for my mom for one of her projects.
May not be 100% accurate, but I was lazy so that means it's close enough. 😋2
overheard someone say "test driven development is essentially 'debugging a system into existence'"
.... And to be honest I can't disagree, it's quite an accurate description of TDD.1
Look I understand online privacy is a concern and we should really be very much aware about what data we are giving to whom. But when does it turn from being aware to just being paranoid and a maniac about it.? I mean okay, I know facebook has access to your data including your whatsapp chat (presumably), google listens to your conversations and snoops on your mail and shit, amazon advertises that you must have their spy system (read alexa) install in your homes and numerous other cases. But in the end it really boils down to "everyone wants your data but who do you trust your data with?"
For me, facebook and the so-called social media sites are a strict no-no but I use whatsapp as my primary chating application. I like to use google for my searches because yaa it gives me more accurate search results as compared to ddg because it has my search history. I use gmail as my primary as well as work email because it is convinient and an adv here and there doesnt bother me. Their spam filters, the easy accessibility options, the storage they offer everything is much more convinient for me. I use linux for my work related stuff (obviously) but I play my games on windows. Alexa and such type of products are again a big no-no for me but I regularly shop from amazon and unless I am searching for some weird ass shit (which if you want to, do it in some incognito mode) I am fine with coming across some advs about things I searched for. Sometimes it reminds me of things I need to buy which I might have put off and later on forgot. I have an amazon prime account because prime video has some good shows in there. My primary web browser is chrome because I simply love its developer tools and I now have gotten used to it. So unless chrome is very much hogging on my ram, in which case I switch over to firefox for some of my tabs, I am okay with using chrome. I have a motorola phone with stock android which means all google apps pre-installed. I use hangouts, google keep, google map(cannot live without it now), heck even google photos, but I also deny certain accesses to apps which I find fishy like if you are a game, you should not have access to my gps. I live in India where we have aadhar cards(like the social securtiy number in the USA) where the government has our fingerprints and all our data because every damn thing now needs to be linked with your aadhar otherwise your service will be terminated. Like your mobile number, your investment policies, your income tax, heck even your marraige certificates need to be linked with your aadhar card. Here, I dont have any option but to give in because somehow "its in the interest of the nation". Not surprisingly, this thing recently came to light where you can get your hands on anyone's aadhar details including their fingerprints for just ₹50($1). Fuck that shit.
There are and should be always exceptions when it comes to privacy because when you give the other person your data, it sometimes makes your life much easier. On the other hand, people/services asking for your data with the sole purpose of infilterating into your private life and not providing any usefulness should just be boycotted. It all boils down to till what extent you wish to share your data(ranging from literally installing a spying device in your house to them knowing that I want to understand how spring security works) and how much do you trust the service with your data. Example being, I just shared most of my private data in this rant with a group of unknown people and I am okay with it, because I know I can trust dev rant with my posts(unlike facebook).38
So, I saw this on Reddit, and I thought about sharing it here...
What do you think? It's somewhat accurate, or it can have some changes?
(The Chaotic Good made me chuckle 😂)28
I’m so mad I’m fighting back anger tears. This is a long rant and I apologize but I’m so freaking mad.
So a few weeks ago I was asked by my lead staff person to do a data analysis project for the director of our dept. It was a pretty big project, spanning thousands of users. I was excited because I love this sort of thing and I really don’t have anything else to do. Well I don’t have access to the dataset, so I had to get it from my lead and he said he’d do it when he had a chance. Three days later he hadn’t given it to me yet. I approach him and he follows me to my desk, gives me his login and password to login to the secure freaking database, then has me clone it and put it on my computer.
So, I start working on it. It took me about six hours to clean the database, 2 to set up the parameters and plan of attack, and two or three to visualize the data. I realized about halfway through that my lead wasn’t sure about the parameters of the analysis, and I mentioned to him that the director had asked for more information than what he was having me do. He tells me he will speak with director.
So, our director is never there, so I give my lead about a week to speak with her, in the mean time I finish the project to the specifications that the director gave. I even included notes about information that I would need to make more accurate predictions, to draw conclusions, etc. It was really well documented.
Finally, exasperated, and with the project finished but just sitting on my computer for a week, I approached my director on a Saturday when I was working overtime. She confirmed that I needed to what she said in the project specs (duh), and also mentioned she needed a bigger data set than what I was working with if we had one. She told me to speak to my lead on Monday about this, but said that my work looked great.
Monday came and my lead wasn’t there so I spoke with my supervisor and she said that what I was using was the entire dataset, and that my work looked great and I could just send it off. So, at this point 2/3 of my bosses have seen the project, reviewed it, told me it was great, and confirmed that I was doing the right thing.
I sent it off to the director to disseminate to the appropriate people. Again, she looked at it and said it was great.
A week later (today) one of the people that the project was sent to approaches me and tells me that i did a great job and thank you so much for blah blah blah. She then asks me if the dataset I used included blahblah, and I said no, that I used what was given to me but that I’d be happy to go in and fix it if given the necessary data.
She tells me, “yeah the director was under the impression that these numbers were all about blahblah, so I think there was some kind of misunderstanding.” And then implied that I would not be the one fixing the mistake.
I’m being taken off of the project for two reasons: 1. it took to long to get the project out in the first place,
2. It didn’t even answer the questions that they needed answered.
I fucking told them in the notes and ALL THROUGH THE VISUALIZATIONS that I needed additional data to compare these things I’m so fucking mad. I’m so mad.15
1.) Complete knowledge and understanding of C++.
2.) Fast and accurate typing skills.
3.) Ability to sleep peacefully all night.17
Saw this on LinkedIn about architecture but it's also accurate for developers, you only have to read it from back to front.
🍿🍿 pull up a chair and get comfy. This was a few years ago and anger has filled some details, so bear with me...
One day, during one of rare afternoons off of work, I was in the library to work on a group project for school. This was maybe a month before it was due, so we were tracking for decent progress and one less stressor over finals. It was about 80° F out, with the perfect breeze for the beach, but school comes first.
I'm team lead (which is terrifying, but less important) and my bro C shows up early to be ready to go on time because he's professional. I'M SO BAD I FORGOT DOUCHEBAGS NAME, so he's A (for asshole), shows up AN HOUR AND 15 MINUTES LATE. But it's not the end of the world, C and I worked around our database schema (which A sent us and we approved), so we could iron out kinks as we went.
A gets there... Fucking finally.
Fucker didn't have the database built (had 2 months to do it, we all agreed on schema a month prior. We're trying to be the adults our ages claim is to be).
*breathe in, count to 10* not a problem, A, just go ahead and start it now so we can at least check what we have.
Ok, my queen, I'll have it done in 10 minutes...
We needed an id (sku... Which, in 99.9999% of companies is numeric), a short name (xBox one, Macbook, don't smart tv), a description and a price (with 2 decimals). All approved by all 3 of us.
His sku ranges from 3 to 9 ALPHA NUMERIC CHARACTERS, the names were even more generic than expected (item1, item 2, Item_3), no description, and he somehow thought US currency had 5 decimal places!!! (it's more accurate...)
There was an epic, royal, and expensive fight scene in the library (may have been during the Lenten season I decided to give up caffeine AND fast for 40 days to prove a point to an ass wipe of a history teacher, don't recall). I made him cry, he failed the class because C and I wound up fixing everything he touched (graded by commits, because it was also an intro to git, but also, a classmate saw it all), and I had to buy multiple people coffee for yelling in the library.
A tried making out buttons work (I was fed up and done thinking for the day, so moved to documentation), but he fucked those up. I then made those worse by having nested buttons, but I deleted all his shit and started over and fixed it.
I then cried, but C and I survived and have each others backs still.11
I committed a bug fix that was about 4 lines changed but a full day of critical thinking.
The next day my boss tells me, that I clearly wasted company time and that I should be producing at least 200 lines of code a day. When will people learn that lines of code is not an accurate measurement of work accomplished?3
Overheard this conversation today:
1: look at this! My shiny new iPhone can measure stuff!
2: how accurate is it?
1: not very, it is pretty buggy.
2: how did the bugs get in there?
3: it is an apple so5
Way to fucking go, Austria wants to push a law that forces online platforms (if possible around the globe) with more than 100k users to provide an accurate way to identify them.
"Name, surname and adress"
I just listened to an interview with a guy who is for that proposal. He said the platforms can just take the data directly from mobile providers, using the phone number. Also, even buying a prepaid sim-cards will require you to provide an identity card.
Way to fucking go! They say it's rather unlikely that this proposal will get approved by the EU, but given the shit they just pulled on us, I wouldn't be surprised in the slightest id these fuckers just go with it.
Where is our precious privacy going? Some old pedophiles are taking it away from us, into their sex dungeons I suppose...
Unfortunatelly this is a rather new proposal, so I can't find an english article covering this story attack
"4096 bit ~ 96 hours is what he said.
IDK why, but when he took the challenge, he posted that it'd take 36 hours"
As @cbsa wrote, and nitwhiz wrote "but the statement was that op's i3 did it in 11 hours. So there must be a result already, which can be verified?"
I added time because I was in the middle of a port involving ArbFloat so I could get arbitrary precision. I had a crude desmos graph doing projections on what I'd already factored in order to get an idea of how long it'd take to do larger
@p100sch speculated on the walked back time, and overstating the rig capabilities. Instead I spent a lot of time trying to get it 'just-so'.
Worse, because I had to resort to "Decimal" in python (and am currently experimenting with the same in Julia), both of which are immutable types, the GC was taking > 25% of the cpu time.
Performancewise, the numbers I cited in the actual thread, as of this time:
largest product factored was 32bit, 1855526741 * 2163967087, took 1116.111s in python.
Julia build used a slightly different method, & managed to factor a 27 bit number, 103147223 * 88789957 in 20.9s,
but this wasn't typical.
What surprised me was the variability. One bit length could take 100s or a couple thousand seconds even, and a product that was 1-2 bits longer could return a result in under a minute, sometimes in seconds.
This started cropping up, ironically, right after I posted the thread, whats a man to do?
So I started trying a bunch of things, some of which worked. Shameless as I am, I accepted the challenge. Things weren't perfect but it was going well enough. At that point I hadn't slept in 30~ hours so when I thought I had it I let it run and went to bed. 5 AM comes, I check the program. Still calculating, and way overshot. Fuuuuuuccc...
So here we are now and it's say to safe the worlds not gonna burn if I explain it seeing as it doesn't work, or at least only some of the time.
Others people, much smarter than me, mentioned it may be a means of finding more secure pairs, and maybe so, I'm not familiar enough to know.
For everyone that followed, commented, those who contributed, even the doubters who kept a sanity check on this without whom this would have been an even bigger embarassement, and the people with their pins and tactical dots, thanks.
So here it is.
A few assumptions first.
Assuming p = the product,
a = some prime,
b = another prime,
and r = a/b (where a is smaller than b)
w = 1/sqrt(p)
(also experimented with w = 1/sqrt(p)*2 but I kept overshooting my a very small margin)
x = a/p
y = b/p
1. for every two numbers, there is a ratio (r) that you can search for among the decimals, starting at 1.0, counting down. You can use this to find the original factors e.x. p*r=n, p/n=m (assuming the product has only two factors), instead of having to do a sieve.
2. You don't need the first number you find to be the precise value of a factor (we're doing floating point math), a large subset of decimal values for the value of a or b will naturally 'fall' into the value of a (or b) + some fractional number, which is lost. Some of you will object, "But if thats wrong, your result will be wrong!" but hear me out.
3. You round for the first factor 'found', and from there, you take the result and do p/a to get b. If 'a' is actually a factor of p, then mod(b, 1) == 0, and then naturally, a*b SHOULD equal p.
If not, you throw out both numbers, rinse and repeat.
Now I knew this this could be faster. Realized the finer the representation, the less important the fractional digits further right in the number were, it was just a matter of how much precision I could AFFORD to lose and still get an accurate result for r*p=a.
Fast forward, lot of experimentation, was hitting a lot of worst case time complexities, where the most significant digits had a bunch of zeroes in front of them so starting at 1.0 was a no go in many situations. Started looking and realized
I didn't NEED the ratio of a/b, I just needed the ratio of a to p.
Intuitively it made sense, but starting at 1.0 was blowing up the calculation time, and this made it so much worse.
I realized if I could start at r=1/sqrt(p) instead, and that because of certain properties, the fractional result of this, r, would ALWAYS be 1. close to one of the factors fractional value of n/p, and 2. it looked like it was guaranteed that r=1/sqrt(p) would ALWAYS be less than at least one of the primes, putting a bound on worst case.
The final result in executable pseudo code (python lol) looks something like the above variables plus
while w >= 0.0:
if (p / round(w*p)) % 1 == 0:
x = round(w*p)
y = p / round(w*p)
if x*y == p:
w = w + i
Still working but if anyone sees obvious problems I'd LOVE to hear about it.39
I recalled a seemingly simple task I took on.
We were building a booking system, and I had to figure out how to retrieve bookings by a certain date range.
Upfront, the tasked seemed simple until I realised I had to both figure out the logic and the SQL statements needed to retrieve all bookings within a certain date range in one query.
I ended up drawing a model to help me visualise the various date-range criteria to be satisfied. And used unit tests to help me think through each date range criterion and make sure they were accurate. Some were obviously from paranoia, but better to be safe than sorry...
After that, I had wrote down raw SQL directly into Sequel Pro first to make sure my query logic was accurate too, before translating into something the ORM equivalent. This was when I learned how to define and use variables in SQL. The variables were throw-away code; I just didn't want to have to hard-code the test date-ranges over and over again; minimise chances of spelling errors.
Needless to say, felt my problem-solving skills went up one level after this task. Saw my coding style and unit tests improve. And also the thought processes that go into how to maintain code quality...4
Yep, you need to know c++, php, HTML, CMS, and </> to become an Android developer.
That's not important.
I love sponsored content. Always accurate.10
Well that was a good little time off :)
Decided to go offline for a little and that was a good one, hello again.
Wrote a geoip service because I hate rate limits and such so fuck it, why not write one myself (data is not that accurate as it's free but quite alright if you ask me) (front end still fucking sucks).
So yes, that's I guess :P13
Team quarterly capacity planning:
- Confluence document created with a big table (+100 rows) by product / business. Each row is something that needs to be worked on for the coming quarter.
- Row 1 could be an Epic with 15 tickets attached. Row 2 could be adding a single log to our analytics. No consistency.
- For each row, we create a separate confluence document with the "technical details". 75% of the time these remain blank. 1% of the time there is something useful, the rest its a slightly longer version of the description from the bigger document.
- Each row gets a high level estimate by the leads. 50% of the time without sufficient background info to actually do get it accurate.
- These are then copied into the teams excel spreadsheet, where it will calculate if we are over/under capacity.
- We will go backwards and forwards between confluence and excel until we are "close enough" to under capacity without being too much.
- Once done, we then need to copy them into the org/division's excel spreadsheet. This document is huge, has every team on it and massive 50pt text saying "Do not put a filter on this document".
- Jira tickets + Epics will now be created for each one, with all the data be copied over by hand, bit by bit, by product. Often missing something.
- Last week, at the end of this process for Q2 (2 weeks late), 6 of the leads were asked to attend a 30 minute meeting to discuss how to group the line items together because we had too many for the bigger excel spreadsheet.
- This morning I was told business weren't happy with one of our decisions to delay one line item. Although they were all top priority (P0), one of them was actually higher than that again (P-1?) and we need to work it back in.
... so back to step 1
- Mid way through Q2, a new document will be created for Q3. Work items that didn't make the cut will be manually copied from one to the other. 50/50 whether anything that didn't get done on time in Q2 will make its way to the Q3 doc.
- "Tech excellence" / "Tech debt" items (unit/UI tests, documentation, logging, performance, stability etc) will never be copied over. Because product doesn't understand them and assumes therefore that they are unimportant.
PS: I'd like to say this was a rare event for Q2, but no. Q4 and Q1 were so bad, we were made assurances from the director of engineering that he would fix this process for Q2. This is the new and improved process (I shit you not) that has resulted in nothing tangible.7
Don't you just love cracking dev jokes and have that one special flower start with their:
followed by an explanation showing how much expertise in the field they've gathered over the years to be able to point out your joke is not 100% accurate.
Imagine them at a party.
- Knock knock
- Well, technically you wouldn't ASK who's there, statistically people would look first, but nice try13
The color sucks on my laptop. It's simply not accurate at all.
Pink looks like purple, yellow looks like orange, the colors are dimmer than what they really are, and etc.
No wonder my group thinks I'm color blind. D:8
Shamelessly ripped off of /r/programmerhumor
As someone that's been a part of a number of startups also 100% accurate
I fucking hate "modern" front end. Just a little "hello world" and you already get a useless bundle of js, which is x times then other assets combined.
Not to mention that no fucking setup I tried works, documentation is as accurate and up-to-date as apple maps and all components are basically part of a civil (cock) war.
So far the most frustration aspect in programming I have to endure5
I'm the guy who posted Surface Pro photos recently, just in case you see some similarities.
This, is the Microsoft Designer Bluetooth Mouse.
It is beautiful. Magnificient. Minimalistic. Fast. Accurate.
I first thought it would be my future mouse.
I thought I would use it for years.
I used for an hour, and literally threw it away.
I thought it would be comfortable, since i used cheap logitech mouse which of those were all too high in height.
But, this mouse, is so low in height. It literally puts your hand in the floor.
You, the devRant members, pointed out at my previous rant that it looks, and would be uncomfortable, and I literally said shut up!
Well, sorry about that, I regret my words.
It is piece of beautiful trash.
The click sound is very quiet, the scrolling is very good, but the height of the mouse....
If I keep using this mouse, I would probably get a carpel-tunnel disease(is this correct?).
I guess I should only use this mouse when I need to use it quickly outside, since portability is number one among all mouse in the world.
Next coming, some more Surface pro coding sessions, and Surface pen.
Anything interested about the surface pro? Leave in the comments below!26
Just finished up my first compiler, with accurate extensible error reporting, and the syntax system is generically typed so I can reuse it. Pretty fucking pleased with myself12
We get it, you can build "complex systems" and the entire codebase might as well be your thesis showing off every fucking thing you learned in every chapter of every book. This is like SEO + 3000 word essay requirement + supermall + a 500 page book with no plot in the form of backend code. You want it? We got it!
You utilized every fucking component available in the platform for no reason. It's like you just wanted to use them so you can write them down in your resume. Your code is so abstract that you can't understand it yourself. The nerve of this tumor not to put even a tiny bit of comment.
Let's not forget about the variables you put into the configuration file that do absolutely nothing because you just ignored them. "Woops, I set this value as 'this' in the config file but the code sets it to 'that'. Ooh, the suspense. Debugging is fun! Tee hee! Configurable as fuuuuck!"
IT MAKES NO SENSE. YOU MAKE NO SENSE. The few variables you use, you can't even organize. Jesus Christ. Look at this rectal poetry:
endless pile of other bullshit with misspellings
another chapter of hell
What are these? Fucking landmines? Every time someone asks you why this was used, what it's for, you say you don't know. Then we go back and forth and end up removing them because you say they're not needed. If they're not needed, why are they there? This masterpiece is so far off into the future that our minds cannot comprehend it. Maybe you are a genius and someday, people will appreciate you but right now, I want to stone you to death. Right, your face will start looking like your code - aBstRaCt aS fUcKkKk! ExTeNsIbLe aS sIn!
And the misspellings, again, if only programs don't have to be accurate. Have you ever caught an EXPECTION? Did you FETFH the data? How do you generate a SESSOIN?
DISCLAIMER: I swear to god this is true. This is a completely unfabricated anecdote.
Soon we are moving to a new office space, and my department have been delegated the responsibility of moving all of the computers from the old work space to the new one. I was a little confused at first, because I'm a software developer, not a removalist.
It gets better.
We just had a meeting the other day, and my manager had advised us that we were to be moving the machines on a Saturday. I confirmed whether we were being paid overtime, simply because I had never worked a Saturday before. My manager replied (this is paraphrased but ultimately accurate) - "It's unpaid. Because you get paid a salary, you're expected to do unpaid overtime here and there. We have christmas parties and nights out, all of which come out of the companies pocket. Not all companies do this, so it's only fair you give back".
I honestly couldn't believe it. I was being asked to spend basically the majority of my day off moving computers from one site to another, for free, purely because it's "expected". Am I the only one who thinks this is crazy?
Long story short, I went home and started updating my resume.22
Had a configure issue on a site running through CloudFlare hosted at WPEngine. Support on chat guy says "can I take a look at your setup" so I screenshot him! He says they're are new ways to point to WPEngine whilst using SSL so I say OK and he points me to a support article which seems accurate. He then says now I want you to change two records so I say ok (not thinking) which I do (stupidly)
Result site no longer reachable.
What do I do now? He says very seriously "you need to wait 24-48 hours for the DNS to propogate"
"Your joking it's a huge site with 20k visitors per day with advertisers on it"
"I'm sorry there is nothing I can do until the DNS YOU changed has propagated"
"I changed?" "Yes you changed the CloudFlare settings"
"You told me to!"
"Is there anything else I can help you with?"7
The 2018 bucket list!
I sort of swear to be a good coder, to take honour and dignity in all the lines I write, I will not take shortcuts, I will obtain a +80% test coverage across my projects, write clean and accurate documentation, and ultimately I will write less bugs!
Yea..., probably not but worth a try anyway!!1
(maybe) unpopular opinion
I hate the I'm at 127.0.0.1|localhost meme
It's a loopback address
It's like saying I live at home
Like why do people think it's funny or smart to post stuff like that
Even the doormat that was going around isn't necessary accurate, since it's per machine (in this case a human).
Like if you have the home saying it's localhost then you are obviously not.
Maybe I'm just being mean here but it's like really annoying after a while5
SM = Scrum Master
SM: "Card #130, you added a comment saying you aren't going to do update the report?"
Me:"Yea, I explained why in the comment"
SM: "Product owner wants it."
Me: "Product owner isn't the manager using it. I talked with Steve, he said the data is accurate and they have to go to the database anyway to verify the error. That report has no way of knowing the message logged could be a false positive."
SM: "That's not our job to decide. If the Product Owner wants the feature, we add the feature."
Me: "It is absolutely is our job. Steve is the user of the report. I could really care less what the product owner said. The only reason he created the card was because Steve told him a specific error logged could be a false positive, and only happens, maybe, once a month. I'm not wasting my time, Steve's time, or this project's time on wild goose chases."
SM: "I'll schedule a meeting this afternoon to discuss the issue with the product owner. Don't worry, if you can't figure out how to filter out the false positives, I'll assign the ticket to me."
fracking fracking kiss ass. I swear, if he goes behind my back again ....I... deep breath....ahhh...OK..Thanks devrant. Work place incident diverted.6
Simple and accurate!
UI/UX makes a huge difference to average users. Just because you're the developer/expert user, do not think what's obvious to you is obvious to everyone. Think about being in a bubble. This is why you need collaboration with people in a different scope. Or atleast gather feedback from users.4
I saw this on the first page of a book that discusses techniques for writing clean code... The more I think about it, the more accurate it tests.
If you're going to request CRITICAL changes to thousands of records in the database, and approve it through testing which is done on an exact replica of production, then tell me it was done incorrectly after the fact it has been implemented and you didn't actually review the changes made to the data or business logic that you requested then you are an idiot. Our staging environment is there to ensure all the changes are accurate you useless human. Its the data you provided, I didn't just magically pull it from thin air to make yours and my job a pain the ass.9
My job feels (and acts) like a soulless void.
Wow, that sounds like lyrics to an emo song for adults. screw that.
But it's still pretty accurate: While I have quite a few coworkers, and they're at least somewhat chatty, they never seem to respond to me, or even notice me. I see them talking, but anything I do or say gets ignored. It goes into the void and disappears.
I talk in the off-topic channels. People talk around me.
I make comments on releases. No responses.
I talk about music I've been addicted to. No responses.
I talk about food and cooking -- a popular topic at work. No responses.
I respond to an invitation to join the security team. No responses. (well, an empty deferral)
I release various features, some both my boss and a coworker described as "soul-crushing." No thanks, priase, appreciation; honestly, no one even seemed to notice.
I build useful utilities and functions for other devs to use. Nothing.
I optimize the scripts everyone uses on a daily basis, and mention it to others. Still nothing.
The void eats my efforts, and occasionally spits out parcels of work for me to do. The only responses I recieve from the void are when I ask about its parcels of work. When I send them back completed, nothing happens -- unless they need more work. If they do not... nothing.
My previous job was friendly and nice and rewarding.
The job before that was Hell.
This one feels like Purgatory, but ... somehow emptier.15
So apparently some genius motherfucker managed to allow Androids that are missing or have a bad/inaccurate/busted gyro to run VR apps as long as they have a magnetic sensor (compass) and an accelerometer, using both to spoof the gyro. It requires root, but goddamn is that smart... It's even potentially more accurate than a gyro in quite a few situations, since it uses the compass and can even be used to override the ACTUAL gyro, so if the gyro is busted, drifts like a motherfucker, is inaccurate, etc. it can alleviate the issue!
and google's always like "well this shit is impossible to do" then the community comes along a month later and does it7
So I just wanted to log back into windows. Typed in the password. Wrong password...
Then I tried being super accurate while typing and also checked keyboard layout, etc. Still, wrong password.
Then I noticed that the letter p is not working. Shit, keyboard seems to be broken.
On screen keyboard -> p is not working...
What the hell? What kind of error is this?
NT Kernel code has to be something like this:
if(timeSinceLastError > someValue)
keyboard.p.enable = false;
I guess you could also replace the keyboard error with some random error.
If you encounter this, restart Windows.3
Accurate representation of my Hell desk job. Good news I have a interview today for a software developer position. w00t!8
Our university will have a fancy laser lab with a direct fiberoptic connection to the most accurate atomic clock 200km away.
But the online system still cant handle more than few 1000 students trying to check their grades/plan...5
So... After reading up on the theoretical stuff earlier, I decided to make a real AI that can identify handguns and decide whether it's a revolver or a semiautomatic with 95 percent accuracy...
Well, basically, I been browsing my local gun store's online store for four hours for training data, killed a Mac mini while first training the system and I think I ended on the domestic terrorism watch list... Was that black sedan always there?
Anyway... It's working fairly accurate, my monkey wrench is a revolver by the way.
Isn't AI development a wonderful excuse for all kinds of shit?
"why do you have 5000 pictures of guns on your computer?" - "AI development"
"why did you wave around a gun in front of your web cam" - "AI development"
"why is there a 50 gram bag in your desk?" - "AI development"
Hmm... yeah well... I think it might work. I could have picked a less weird testing project, but... No.7
I fucking hate estimating time.
I appreciate that agile is better than any planning type before it, but HOLY SHIT is estimating time a fool's game.
I've been at this over a decade now and I'm still like.. 50% accurate at best. The complicated shit is seldom obvious, and usually if I think something will be complicated it ends up being very simple once I dig in.7
When answer has 180 points on stackoverflow and it isn't even an accurate solution for the posted problem.3
What grinds my gears:
This, to me, seems retarded.
Take the value 0.931 for example.
Its represented in binary as
See those last three bits? Well, it causes it to
come out in decimal like so:
Which because bankers rounding is nowstandard, that actually works out to 0.930, because with bankers rounding, we round to the nearest even number? Makes sense? No. Anyone asked for it? No (well maybe the banks). Was it even necessary? Fuck no. But did we get it anyway?
And worse, thats not even the most accurate way to represent
our value of 0.931 owing to how fucked up rounding now is becaue everything has to be pure shit these days.
A better representation would be
00111101101111101010101100110111 <- good
00111111011011100101011000000100 < - shit
The new representation works out to
or 0.093100003898143768310546875 when represented internally.
Whats this mean? Because of rounding you don't lose accuracy anymore.
Am I mistaken, or is IEEE-754 shit?5
At my previous employer my boss asked me how long a project would take. Told him about a week maybe two. He then informed me it was due that day. Apparently the client gave it to him months ago. I worked a 35 hour weekend to make it happen. Then he complained that my weekly time sheet was higher than normal. He didn't think it was accurate and underpaid me. So glad I got out of agency work.6
Wait... Do people really think C is an accurate way to learn how a computer works... Please tell me it isn't so10
Never worked before so I'll talk about one of the former staff at my school.
This guy worked as IT and did some teaching in the high school. Early last year, he suddenly disappears for no reason.
Now, I'm going to go in order of what we (the students) found out, not, chronological order.
Firstly, turns out that in class he would make comments about female students. Nothing explicit, just kinda strange. I forget the examples I heard but think like the overly friendly old guy. Those types of comments from a 40-something IT guy. (Some female students knew about this for a long while but I only heard about it after the investigation)
Next, rumor got out that they found some stuff on his computer. I don't know how, but it turned out to be accurate, and we were accurate at the follow-up assumption that it was porn.
After that, the school made an announcement that we had been arrested. Up until then, we just assumed he had been sacked. He was weird sure, but we didn't think criminal.
Some other students looked into the police records, and it turns out this guy had been arrested for possession and distribution of child pornography.
Pretty sick right? Its worth pointing out now that our school has Pre-K through 12th grade students.
I gained a new level of respect for my female classmates after that. I didn't even know that was going on, really wish I could have helped out.2
I was on this online site yesterday and I saw they had rules such as no swearing, posting links, etc. I decided to post links and it worked to my surprise. I see the admin tells me off but I ask why they don't just add a system to stop it.
He/She says "Systems controlled by humans are more accurate than machine" 😕4
"Hey Google define *word*"
>>*Definition of word*
"Hey Google define *struggle to pronounce word while sounding like I have tourette's or I'm having a stroke; get no where close to the accurate pronunciation*"
>>*Gives definition of the word I'm trying to say*
This asshat can understand me stroking out while failing miserably to pronounce a word, but when my southern accent kicks in and fucks with the pronunciation of some words, this thing can't take it? Fucking hell bruh.19
Oh the beauty of WYSIWYG etitors...
I don't know which one I'm more amazed of. All that beautiful styling for a simple line break or that incredibly accurate and absolute neccessary line-height value.
I guess it's time for a strip tag massacre.4
What the fuck??!?!?
I wanna say :-
Fuck!!! What the fuck a sex robot is?!?? Fuck???
Lets leave this planet here humans are thinking to make a sex robot(fuck! ) who can say no fuck?!?!?! Later they will file rape case for humans who tried to force their robot. FUCKING FUCK BRAINS?!?!?
Full answer: -
A lot of ethicists and psychologists think that yes, they should learn to say no. Here is an interesting article about it:
Should We Program Sex Robots to Give Consent?
I agree with Kate Darling, Ph.D., a research specialist and robot-human interaction expert at MIT Media Lab, told Inverse in a discussion about Westworld, when she says she isn’t concerned about the robots, but with human behavior.
However, when I’ve expressed these feelings on Quora, about this controversy I was downvoted and my answer collapsed because people got offended that I made the claim that an object (the robot) could be ‘raped,’ even after I clarified exactly what I meant by that- that no you cannot rape an object, but just as an object cannot consent, you may be enacting ‘rape’ or torture fantasies, etc., on the robot. I think I was downvoted because my point of view wasn’t exactly what they wanted to hear, was too blunt, and the people who downvote opinions that may look more negatively at the sex robot industry typically aren’t feminists in the slight.
It seems a lot of people want the right to use sex robots and also that a lot of people haven’t really thought about it too deeply. Some people say that the robots will relieve women from sex work or protect people from sexual assault, I think these are very bold claims. Some people compare the sex robots to vibrators or other masturbation tools, but this is simply not accurate because sex robots are designed to be much more. They are marketed as companions that do not cry, nag, etc. People that own them often may dress them, tie them up, have marriage ceremonies, etc., a lot more activities than they would if it was a simple masturbation tool.6
I was talking about make up to my friend and he called it 'CSS for the face'.
I've never heard a more accurate description of makeup!!2
How did targeted ads become so...accurate?
I did a search for a new service on Google last night.
Today, an ad appears on my Facebook feed highlighting my search term on Google the night before.10
Shit Developers say:
Fuck you Jasmine and your camelCase
I’ve been wrestling cucumbers all day
Oh no all the cucumbers are broken
In a fit of refactoring madness I have gone and changed a lot
Did you seriously just give ME nil?... No!
If the shit sticks, then we put nice paint on it
Fucking red dot motherfucker (Ben and his failing specs)
You know what we don’t do often..kill each others builds. Kill them and reschedule for later. Mwahaha ha ha.
This build is going to be so rad...(5mins later)...Ok this is not going to pass..I can feel it in my waters!
Can i do that in a digital way or do i have to move my meaty body downstairs to find him?
All the donkeys have be out the gate by sundown
God, imagine if you could patent mathematical solutions
actually, I wouldn't be surprised if you can in the states "no, you can't use a laplace transform, you haven't got the rights, you have to use a less accurate transform on your matrices"
ooooo a boolean that's phrased in the negative, my favourite for code review destruction!
Fuck the police i'll call the object here
Web RTC - its super easy, all you have to do is..probably some hard stuff
I want to go to that conference so I can start arguments with dickheads about semicolons. Just for fun.
This this is not the same as that this.
Can’t come to work I can’t find any clothes. It’s best for everyone if I just don’t come in. ...2 hours later... Yeah my clothes were just in the other room and i couldn’t be fucked moving
(OH about bad bug reports) - you know when they are all like oh joogly joogly doesn’t doodle doodle and it should wobbly doodle you know? and im all like fuck i don’t know any of that shit you are talking about.
Him: "I don’t like it, it’s against REST convention its so 2006 that my eyes are bleeding. As a privileged white male i feel entitled to complain about this." Me: "you. were. eleven in 2006
Source: Kellective Github6
When you're at school and the teacher let's you use tools do to CSS in a GUI.
And he kicks you out for using other tools like Brackets, Sublime, Atom etc... Saying it not a accurate.10
So family doesn't really know coding. Just me and my little sister. But then my dad suddenly made jokes with loops and stuff. I have no idea where he learned it. They're not actually accurate but I really love it when he does that.2
I really dread working tomorrow. That manager and his team really have a way of demotivating me. My entire being is refusing to do even a tiny amount of work for them. I would rather work on a shitload of tasks if it's for some other team. You are the worst manager I've ever worked with so far and that's in comparison with the psycho I had in the hellhole that first introduced me to devRant back in 2018.
That one made employees cry but at least, that manager cared about her job, maybe even too much. You don't and you have your impoverished flying monkeys with slave mentality supporting you all the way. Third world mentality, am I right? You're constantly looking for developers to drag into your web of incompetence. You don't know what needs to be done and you rush and pressure someone else as soon as you're reminded of it. Dude, stop using developers as scapegoats. If I was a manager and other managers are telling me, "Please cascade this information sooner. We don't want to put unnecessary pressure on anyone." I'll take the hint that I suck, apologize, and stop dropping the names of developers as if I've given them the information a long time ago.
You fucking didn't.
I fucking hate working with you so much that even on a Sunday, I daydream of shoving your face down a deep fryer and giving you a full body massage with mercury. I've been doing all I can to improve my life and be less angry in the past few months but damn, surprise fuck-ups are the worst. I can't help but stress over the fact that this could be my life on the next months to come. I would be focusing on working for my original team and improving their process and then you'll pop out of nowhere and drag me to hell.
It's just not worth it. I'm responding to recruiters now. When I get an offer and someone tries to keep me, I'll tell them I'd stay under the condition that no one borrows me from my original team anymore. This "you have to be flexible" bullshit is just another excuse for "we have terrible managers". I really like my original team and I get excited working with them, talking to them, and discussing improvements but this manager is just too fucking much.
I read a thousand times that employees leave managers but I've never been put into a position where it's so accurate until now.2
Watched a TED Talk about this cool site that wants to bring open education to all.
Forgot about it.
the video a week later, checked it out.
Front page saw a course for Python for beginners.
Watched the first video.
Never turned back.
Thanks Coursera :)
After that I relied more on books as the knowledge is layed out in a more concrete fashion and are probably nore revised. So better content, more accurate information, more advanced and in depth knowledge.
Ubuntu: 100% tests, 367/367 tests succeed
MacOS: 93% tests, 330/367 tests succeed
Windows: 71%, 285/367 tests succeed
Time to boot up a windows vm...
(these numbers are not accurate)5
Arguing with my girlfriend (recalled from my mind, not 100% accurate)
she: What do you expect when you buy an android?
Me: sure thing apple is more "unpack it, use it", easy to use - but android is more like an empty canvas. The first thing when I buy it is setting it up to my needs.
she: You don't understand, what do you expect from your android device?
me: It has to be affordable and work for a certain time
she: No I mean, do you.. when you unpack your phone, expect it TO WORK?
me: Sure, it's not like I buy a pile of trash, I expect it to work
she: you're too stupid, baka
me: ... ? *confused*
she: When you say it is like a canvas, isn't a canvas someday full?
me: yes, every phone, iPhone, Pixel, Samsung, every phone has a limited memory
she: *mad* you don't get it, silly
me: I want to but heh, I don't get it10
I'm on windows 10 and I want to access the sound settings window to disable a speaker. I press the win key and as I start typing "sound" the first result that pops up is "voice" settings. So accurate. Thanks Cortana, very cool!8
I’ve been at this job 4 months and I feel like I’ve been here long enough to make an accurate opinion of it. From day one I have not felt welcomed. There is no communication within the team.. none of my questions are ever answered.. and when I do ask questions I get snarky answers. I don’t expect my hand to be held, but as someone who is new, I’d like you to give me guidance. Especially since the code is mostly legacy and no one else on the team seems to know anything about anything.
Oh and there are not daily stand ups, project managers, or direction in the tickets themselves.
I guess I should have expected this on the first day when I asked for a SIP or documentation on how to get my environment setup I was practically laughed out of the office and then had the nerve to ask me why it took me the entire day to get 5 environments up and running.. not giving me the custom mappings or the global UDFs.
Today was my last straw.. when I asked a question in three different forms of communication on multiple different channels and was never given an answer.. and then was asked why I did something the way I did instead of doing it the way they wanted me to.
I think the saddest thing is that I felt tricked into this. I was told this position was going to be one way but ended up being something else. I was excited to share my knowledge and best practices to the team. Instead, I’m an outcast and get only be negativity and excuses when I politely bring up suggestions.
I no longer have the will to code here.5
I'm watching Silicon Valley, and how accurate is the data farm scene? I've never been to a data farm. Is it really that creepy, and do the people that work there really do look like vampires?7
I had Highway to hell ringing in my ears while I‘ve read an article about Facebook planning to offer their customers a way to connect their bank account to Facebook...
So accurate... and if I try to call the customer care the recorded voice says the same exact thing: “minus....”2
I just hate how other people in my organization keep blaming the systems instead of taking a second to verify if the data that they are feeding the system is accurate!!
It's like adding "4+5" in a ti83 and blaming the TI engineers because the result is not the "4" they wanted! 🤨
I named my variable "ruin" instead of "run" by mistake and decided to leave it that way because it's technically still accurate.1
Tired of hearing "our ML model has 51% accuracy! That's a big win!"
No, asshole, what you just built is a fucking random number generator, and a crappy one moreover.
You cannot do worse than 50%. If you had a binary classification model that was 10% accurate, that would be a win. You would just need to invert the output of the model, and you'd instantly get 90% accuracy.
50% accuracy is what you get by flipping coins. And you can achieve that with 1 line of code.5
Well happy new year guys.
I don't see why we would celebrate this day but ohhh well .
For me its normal day but for others some cool day that ends one year and begins another at least if would they celebrate it at the right time but well they do not celebrate it at right time.
Idk the exact time when new year begins but its definetly not 00:00.
In short our time in not accurate to earth rotation.
But oh well I adapted but still don't like it.
But well that may be only me who thinks about it like this.
This same applies to birthdays, Christmas, and other.
Its just normal day that people gave special meaning that I don't like.
Again this might be only me.
My coworkers just invited me to a "scum meeting" and that's the most accurate meeting invite I've ever received.1
I hate using the phone. When dealing with urls, email addresses and lists of changes/fixes all day, this is the least accurate and efficient way of getting information to me. Especially when I'm in the middle of doing things and get a call from a boss. I rarely even answer calls from the bosses.
My boss gave my cell to a vendor to get some urls. For 3 days I've been getting voicemail about sending some urls via email. I sent the urls on day one to the first person. 2 other people from the company have called me requesting the same thing. Why does any of this warrant a phone call. A quick paragraph email would solve all of this. I shouldn't even be talking to these people. My boss could have given the urls when he talked to them the first time. They call him when they can't get ahold of me.
At this point, I just want to be as difficult as I can be to continue wasting all of their time for being difficult and wasting mine.3
How bad it feels when it work in a place where Agile and DevOps are mostly abused buzzwords.
Forced doing "scrum" with:
- half of the team providing endless daily reports instead of focusing on the 3 questions
- a scrum master that is barely reachable
- a product owner that would not even make a decision
- a sponsor that pushes us to go faster regardless of current technical debt (it's important to look good to other sponsors!)
- doing all possible scrum ceremonies with no value added
- not even estimating stories
- not even having accurate description in stories. Most of the time not even a description.
- half of the team not understanding agile and DevOps at all
Feels so good (not). Am I the one in that boat?? ⁉️
What's the point of doing scrum if implemented that badly?? 😠6
Let's talk about the cargo cult of N-factor authentication. It's not some magic security dust you can just sprinkle onto your app "for security purposes".
I once had a client who had a client who I did server maintenance for. Every month I was scheduled to go to the site, stick my fingerprint in their scanner, which would then display my recorded face prominently on their screens, have my name and purpose verified by the contact person, and only then would the guards let me in.
HAHA no of course not. On top of all of that, they ask for a company ID and will not let me in without one.
Because after all, I can easily forge my face, fingerprints, on-site client contact, appointment, and approval. But printing out and laminating a company ID is impossible.
With apologies to my "first best friend" in High School, I've forgotten which of the dozens of canonicalisations of which of your nicknames I've put in as my answer to your security question. I've also forgotten if I actually listed you as my first best friend, or my dog - which would actually be more accurate - and actually which dog, as there are times in my High School life that there were more tails than humans in the house.
I have not forgotten these out of spite, but simply because I have also forgotten which of the dozen services of this prominent bullshit computer company I actually signed up for way back in college, which itself has been more than a decade ago. That I actually apparently already signed up for the service before actually eludes me, because in fact, I have no love for their myriad products.
What I have NOT forgotten is my "end of the universe"-grade password, or email, or full legal name and the ability to demonstrate a clear line of continuity of my identity from wherever that was to now.
Because of previous security screwups in the past, this prominent bullshit company has forced its users to activate its second, third, and Nth factors. A possibly decade-old security question; a phone number long lost; whatever - before you can use your account.
Note: not "view sensitive data" about the account, like full name, billing address, and contact info. Not "change settings" of the account, such as changing account info, email, etc. Apparently all those are the lowest tier of security meant to be protected by mere "end of the universe"-grade passwords and a second factor such as email, which itself is likely to be sold by a company that also cargo cults N-factor auth. For REAL hard info, let's ask the guy who we just showed the address to "What street he lived in" and a couple others.
Explaining this to the company's support hotline is an exercise in...
"It's for your security."
"It's not. You're just locking me out of my account. I can show you a government ID corroborating all the other account info."
"But we can't, for security."
"It's not security. Get me your boss."
"It's for security."8
Been working with a developer who can't make a visually competent bootstrap site for his life, and after making entire accurate-to-the-pixel mockups for him to emulate we continue to get half-assed work with consistent excuses... My time is now spent going line-by-line through his project items determining what he has and hasn't actually accomplished from his "completed" list. I'm no longer just a designer, I'm evidently now a joint project manager as well, for no extra pay...5
Ive seen a bollywood movie about a developer but the movie was basically him roundhouse kicking bad guys in leather jackets for like an hour and gotta say, thats an accurate depiction of software development.4
I feel compelled to share this - I think every programmer needs to read this.
I know I'm right but I'm not in the mood to validate my argument, that is a privilege I reserve exclusively for real arguments - usually containing foreign user input in dire need of sanitization -which kinda sucks...
so instead here is a morsel and a link, enjoy the read.
Reviewing some code the other day, seeing a lot classes like:
I get the idea..Microsoft is doing it...disguising complexity with clever adjectives.
I think in my next project I'm going to start naming things like
Repository (cause, every framework needs one)
Then in a year and a half-dozen other devs adding their bits, someone asks "SpaghettiMonster...WTF?...why is this data access called..<dev looks at code> Oh good Lord ...oh well...at least the class name is accurate"2
Inspired by @shahriyer 's rant about floating point math:
Well, one day about a week and a half ago, it stopped working for one of our product managers. He'd scroll and nothing would happen. It was so strange. I noticed everything looked a bit small on his screen in Chrome, so I had him hit Ctrl+0 to reset his zoom level and try again.
It. Fucking. Worked.
So we log what I dubbed The Dumbest Bug Ever™ and put it in the next sprint.
Middle of this week, I started looking into the code that handled the scrolling check. I logged to the console every variable associated with it every time a scroll event was fired. Then I zoomed out and did it.
Turns out, when you zoom, you're no longer 100% guaranteed to be working with integers. scrollTop was now a float, but clientHeight was still an integer, so the comparison was always false and no loading of new data ever occurred. I tried round, floor, and ceil on the result of scrollHeight - scrollTop, but it was still inconsistent.
The solution I used was to round the difference of scrollHeight - scrollTop _and_ clientHeight to the lowest 10 before comparing them, to ensure an accurate comparison.
Inspired by this rant: https://devrant.com/rants/1356488/...2
I've finally found a goldmine of accurate job listings that don't include Windows shit-administration... So I'm thinking of sending out applications to all of them. Problem is, as you might recall from my previous rants, I had a flash drive with my GPG keypair on it stolen from me. I still haven't fully replaced the key (I made another one and published it but I'm not using it yet), and because I'm fairly confident that this flash drive's data has never been used (so likely just plugged into Windows and formatted), it's unlikely that I'm gonna bother rotating all of the contents that were on that flash drive.
That said however, my emails now all have signatures underneath them as follows:
Met vriendelijke groet / Best regards,
- My outbound email is usually signed with my private key. If not, please don't hesitate to ask me about it through a different communication platform.
IMPORTANT: My keys have possibly been compromised. An encrypted flash drive on which this GPG keypair was stored has been stolen from me. I'm in the process of phasing out and replacing this key. Please do not use it to encrypt any emails to me anymore.
Not entirely sure whether I should remove or keep that last bit. As a potential employer, would you see this as a red flag (he's got encrypted data stolen from him, wtf that's incompetent), or as a nice thing to know that it was properly disclosed (so no secrecy around potential data breaches)? Both seem equally likely so I'm a bit confused about what I should do.10
TFW you find out there's a Korean webtoon about anthropomorphic web browsers. And it's pretty accurate.
If my official job title in the position I currently hold is 'Web Developer', is it accurate and acceptable to instead put 'Software Engineer' or 'Software Developer' as my title for the role on LinkedIn?15
Decided to make an edit of my avatar so that I could have an avatar that was a bit more accurate, and it looked nice and all in Photoshop. But then I exported it and fuck this3
ok, so first there were ads.
Then came adblock and the likes.
Then websites started implementing randomly generated strings.
Then came pi-hole.
Now some of the websites are using RNG + hosting ads on their domains...
(the order might not be very accurate, but you get my point)
So what now ?
I'm guessing that the next step for adblock will be to use AI to recognize these RNG strings, and then the websites will use AI to generate better strings (harder to distinguish if it is relevant content or an ad).
In other words - AI vs AI :D
what do you guys think ? :)4
A brain whenever someone is working on a project:
Does the person I control have motivation? If so, I remember the person of another task so he/she/helicopter can't work on it.
Does the person I control have time?
If so, I set the person's motivation level to zero.
After this extremely accurate research I think we are better of by removing our brain.
BTW, I publish this research here under the MIT license.3
So I wrote a program to record a file descriptor in Linux to a flat binary file and then play it back with accurate timing, then used that to record ascii Star Wars by piping netcat into it and then I hosted it on openbsd inetd on a port on my web server. 200 lines of code to steal 20 years worth of work!
Really just doing it to make sure there's a backup copy out there. No claim intended.
You can record anything: like ten minutes of htop and then you can have a fake grip. It's AWESOME.
Probably could have done the same thing with cat and pv but whatever4
Where to start?
I think my worst is probably trying to do too much at once. I love a challenge and I really enjoy pushing myself but I don't know when to stop so I tend to wind up overwhelmed.
Another is trying to figure out timescales. I find this so fucking hard that it's almost a joke. I'm terrible at estimates on the spot and I'm quite bad at just saying "I'll need more time for an accurate prediction."1
Just left my first "here be dragon's" comment... I feel dirty.
I am required to develop using the WORST documentation, that I was told is 100% accurate, but contradicts itself, had blank parts, etc. When I emailed the creator, they fixed the parts I mentioned, but didn't proof the rest.
The math is probably all wrong, but I am working off their information and it seems to work in the one case they gave...1
So happy about being about to convince management that we needed a large refactor, due to requirements change, and since the code architecture from the beginning had boundaries built before knowing all the requirements...
pulled the shame on us, this is a learning lesson card.. blah blah blah
Also explained we need to implement an RTOS, and make the system event driven... which then a stupid programmer said you mean interrupt driven ... and management lost their minds... ( bad memories of poorly executed interrupts in the past).... had to bring everyone back down to earth.. explained yes it’s interrupt driven, but interrupt driven properly unlike in the past (prior to me)... the fuck didn’t properly prioritize the interrupts and did WAYYY too much in the interrupts.
Explained we will be implementing interrupts along side DMA, and literally no message could be lost in normal execution.. and explained polling the old way along side no RTOS, Wastes power, CPU resources and throws timing off.
Same fucker spoke up and said how the fuck You supposed to do timing, all the timing will be further off... I said wrong, in this system .. unlike yours, this is discreet timing potential and accurate as fuck... unlike your round robin while loop of death.
Anyway they gave me 3 weeks.. and the system out performs, and is more power efficient than the older model.
The interrupting developer, now gives me way more respect...4
My weather script now automatically fetches location as well.
Not that accurate but close enough.
So, I'm looking into something and end up on Stack Overflow. Someone posted the question:
This question was old as shit, all they way from 07/25/09, and about an Adobe Air application. (Remember that? Me neither...) It had a great, accepted, and still accurate answer, posted the same day the question was asked. Now, fast forward 8 years and on 12/08/17 (A mere 7 months ago...) the following answer was posted. I don't know what they were thinking, but here it is, complete and unabridged, with my comments in square brackets:
"I'd like to post this as a separate answer as it somewhat contrasts the accepted one: [Somewhat contrasts? More like completely contradicts...]
Yes, it does make a performance difference as it reduces parsing time - and that's often the critical thing. For me, it was even just simply linear in the size and I could get it from 12s to 4s parse time by minifying from 3MB to 1MB. [First off, your parse time should NEVER be THE critical thing, but secondly, and more importantly, WHO THE FUCK HAS 1MB OF MINIFIED JS ON A PAGE!!!]
It's not a big app either, it just has a couple of reasonable dependencies. [THERE IS ABSOFUCKINGLUTELY NOTHING REASONABLE ABOUT ANYTHING HE JUST SAID! What dependancies is he using?! You could use minified and not even gzipped jQuery, AngularJS, Vue, Ember, React, AND Dojo libraries on the SAME PAGE, AND have 118k of application code, AND STILL NOT HAVE HIT 1MB QUITE YET!!!]
So, yeah, I'm at a loss for what this guy was thinking, but the thought the people like this exist, and that my browser might one day be subjected to their horrific nightmare of code terrifies me...2
can we just get rid of floating points? or at least make it quite clear that they are almost certainly not to be used.
yes, they have some interesting properties that make them good for special tasks like raytracing and very special forms of math. but for most stuff, storing as much smaller increments and dividing at the end (ie. don't store money as 23.45. store as 2,345. the math is the same. implement display logic when showing it.) works for almost all tasks.
floating point math is broken! and most people who really, truely actually need it can explain why, which bits do what, and how to avoid rounding errors or why they are not significant to their task.
or better yet can we design a standard complex number system to handle repeating divisions and then it won't be an issue?
footnote: (I may not be perfectly accurate here. please correct if you know more)
much like 1/3 (0.3333333...) in base 10 repeats forever, that happens with 0.1 in base 2 because of how floats store things.
this, among other reasons, is why 0.1+0.2 returns 0.300000046
I opened my laptop every day this holiday, always with the intention of learning something, contributing somewhere, doing something. I think the closest I got was to start a VM and open my editor and read some comments (I opened and closed some files too!).
I have done nothing the holiday except bing Netflix and put another 100 or so hours on Steam. Oh and Christmas dinner sandwiches, which as I right this reminds me the oh thing was worth it just for those...
Long and short of it is I think I'm in a slump, my output over the last couple months started dwindling and I thought a couple of weeks (16 days to be more accurate) would help, but it didn't. I'm back at work tomorrow and I'm just not feeling it.
I don't think there is anyone answer but has anyone got any experience of getting out of this feeling of "being done"? I already tried watching Rocky... Just made me see Dulph Lundgren every time my screen wakes up! Wallpaper of the dude probably doesn't help...5
I fucking hate interacting with monolids. They are the most inconsiderate scumbags in the world and I absolutely hate working with them. They are noisy, they act like they own the place, and they overcompensate for the lack of eyelids, penis, and body hair by being total assholes to every goddamn stranger they come across.
I'm part Chinese myself but damn, fuck these people, throw in the Koreans too especially the hardcore opinionated virgin gamers with micro SD slots as eye holes. Fucking pieces of shit, motherfucker. No one makes my blood boil and evaporate as much as you cunts do. Even at work, the airline company had to make changes to their applications to have some sort of rating system for agents who book flights in bulk and then cancel them last minute.
And all these programmer and gamer maggots are sooooooo opinionated and so desperate to roast any random stranger on the internet that just having a nice conversation about a topic isn't possible because they will jump into the conversation and judge people's characters based on what they use/play. If someone doesn't want to use/play what they're using/playing or is having second thoughts because of some bad reviews, they mock you for not being an "independent" thinker. Okay, China.
I'm all for dirty, dark, racist, and all kinds of offensive humor but damn, some people can't see the difference between an opinion and a fact. They hear what you say, misinterpret it to the fucking extreme, and boom "You don't like this game I like, therefore you are not an independent thinker." Every time, I encounter an asshole like this, I search for what they look like and it's always the famous incel face that comes in all shades or the typical "All the white bois stole my chinky hoes, now I'm gonna be hostile towards anyone because there's no way I can dominate with my lipstick cock."
They lack basic reading comprehension but they have all the courage to start a fight like a fucking moron. Usually, I'd let it pass but I just can't this time. As soon as I called him out on it, I get a bunch of DMs from people saying he's a dick but no one has ever told him he was until I did. We'll see how this fucker fights. I know it's childish but fuuuuuck, the target location of the new plague is too goddamn accurate. Thank you, Satan. Hail, you.
As our client always say, "The Chinese, they are shitty shitty people."38
Pretty annoyed with Siri...
The other day I was mowing the lawn with my headphones on, and I asked her what time it was. It took her about 10 seconds to respond, and then finally she says “at the tone, the time will be 12:59 PM. Beep!” Like, she literally said the word “beep” in the response.
Ugh...so many things that annoy me about this.
One, it would have been faster to just take my phone out and look at the time.
Two, the cutesy response is annoying and takes too long for her to say.
Three, unless the time actually was approaching 12:59:00 and her response took the exact number of seconds remaining before then, the stupid “beep” isn’t even accurate!
If I ask what time it is, I just want the phone to say “12:59,” immediately. Anything longer or more convoluted than that, and it’s pointless – I could just take out the phone and look at the screen instead.2
I know recursion is everywhere but I recently noticed it in very unusual place('unusual' in the way we see), I hail from India, we studied in our childhood about road less taken, the way I see, everyone has to take so important decisions in yheir life, one such decission is about career, in India road less taken in career paths is everything other than orthodox education, I too the dreaded road "Education", next decission is to choose stream and there the road less taken is anything other that "Engineering (or medicne) " and I took (*as expected) engineering, after taking computers (which is the dreaded road now) next decision is what next? Dreaded road is job, but this time I chose take a road little less traveled in CS. Then I next decission was to choose the research stream the road less taken here (NOW) is systems as AI is in its prime and everyone whants to ride the wave, but I chose Systems in research, after all these my point how how boolean function is called recursively (in the sense of construct) and as a systems programmer I realize the importance of optimizing how I answer these functions quick and accurate. This is one such boolean function but I am sure you can find many in our path till here so It is better to realize what these functions are optimize then as a good Programmer of your own Life.
I decided to run the ROCKYOU password list to see if there are any patterns in md5 hashing, not sure why but I am starting to confuse myself and I need a new pair of eyes to have a look.
in advance, sorry for the shitty image, that lappy is a temporary solution.
So the very accurate and not bias numbers show that the letter "0" appears more than the rest, would there be any use in let's say ordering the wordlist with words that have the most "0" and "7" in their hash to appear at the top?
I believe I might be trying to stretch the numbers and see a pattern where there is none but its worth a shot I think.
- These numbers come from only about ~14m words
My thinking trail is that if statisticaly these hashes are more likely to appear, they are more likely to be the one I am looking for?3
So this happened some years ago:
The phone rings and as soon as I pick it up some fast talking sales rep begins his spiel.
"Good afternoon my name is [don't remember, calling him 'jigglybum'] and we have a device that you plug into your phone line and it will allow you to make free international calls over the internet. It's real easy to set up and you can have it on us for the first three months absolutely free, if you could just confirm your address..."
"Don't want it."
"I'm sorry sir but I think you're throwing away a massive opportunity here we're offering you free international calls."
"No you're not. You're offering me a free trial of some sort of VoIP hardware."
"We yes, but it's free for the first three months and..."
"We also don't make international calls."
"That maybe true sir but with this box you could."
"I'm really not interested in your product."
"I don't think you fully understand all the benefits..."
*there's a clicking noise followed by a dial tone for a second and a new voice*
"Hi, I'm the supervisor for 'jigglybum' and I think perhaps he is having difficulty explaining what it is that we are trying to give you here..."
"Well, no sir, that's a very accurate description, so if you could just confirm your address for me..."
"NO! As you have just admitted there was no misunderstanding about what your product is or what it does. There seems to be a real misunderstanding on your part on the concept of 'no'. We don't want this product, we don't need the product and if we want to make VOIP calls, we have Skype!"
"Ok sir, goodbye."
This is, to my knowledge the only and only time that a supervisor in a call centre has wanted to talk to ME.2
Asking for a precise or accurate estimate is asking me to predict the future, which is essentially asking me to lie to your face.
And I'm a terrible liar. Please don't make me lie.1
Welcome to post 2 of WHY WOULD I WANT TO WORK WITH YOU?, a saga of competence, empathy and me being dick, even tho I didn't want to be one.
This is a follow-up to: https://devrant.com/rants/2363374 It's title is: "Oh, you can post only every 2h. Didn't know that". I also didn't know that the rest of my rant would be put into a comment. For consistency tho, this time I am still splitting the story.
A wise person once wrote in their book: "People judge other people by two things: Empathy and competence." This may not be an accurate quote, but it carries the same message. Also, I don't really remember who was the author. I only know they were probably quite wise. Anyway, I just wanted to share that sentence. Have a moment and think about it. Or don't. Here's my story:
A was a software house that looked pretty promising. They were elegant, their page and offer looked nice. Well, unless you consider the fact that they offered me internship. Unpaid. But I decided to meet with them anyway, since I had hope that I could negotiate some sort of paid internship or a job contract even. I did my homework after all, and I was confident I am able to keep up with their requirements. I arrived a little bit... no, way to early. One damn hour. Whatever, I waited. I was greeted by a woman. We had a cultural conversation, she had a list of 12 questions I needed to answer, as a form of a test. We begun. First question: How do you change a value in Oracle Database? "Wait a minute", I thought, "What kind of question is that?". Why in seven hells would you want your frontend developer to know how to handle oracle db? Well, I gave my answer, I did lick some of that SQL in my life. Next question: Java stuff. The bloody gal didn't even care to check what position I am applying to before the interview! At this point I didn't really have very high hopes. A shame on them forever.
The story of B and C is connected and a little bit more complicated. More on that in part 2. B stands for Bank. A big corporation then, by definition. A person I know decided called me that day and told me they're hiring, that he referred me and that they would like to arrange a meeting. And so we did. It was couple of days before Christmas. C was a software house again. Or a startup. Idk really. Their website wasn't finished so I couldn't read anything useful up on them. They didn't tell me much about themselves either. They also started with "unpaid internship".
In C, they would greet me and instantly sit me down next to a mac laptop and told me, "hey, do this stuff in python". What the fuck, not again... I told them that I am frontend dev, they guy said "it's no problem, you said you know python, it's a simple task". And yeah, I did host some apps in Flask and I did use psycopg2. It was in my CV. But never, ever, have I mentioned knowing heuristics nor statistics. I'm no data scientist, monsieur. Whatever, I tried, I failed a little bit, I told them that maybe if I did want to spend half of my day there I would finish this task, but back then I was way too nervous to focus and code. I told them what should be done in code and that I just was unable to code this at the very moment. They nodded, we said goodbye and I was sure not to hear from them ever again.
In B, I was greeted by a senior frontend dev. He told me the recruiter is sick and he couldn't come, so we're talking alone. I can buy it. We sat down in said meeting room, and he asked me if I wanted a drink. No thx, I had digested so much caffeine during last 24h, next dose could be an overdose. And then, he took out my resume printed in paper. With notes on it. With some stuff encircled. That bloody bastard did his homework. We spent over an hour, just talking in friendly atmosphere. It was an interview, but it was a conversation also. We shared our experiences, opinions and it went just perfect.
On December 20, I was heading home for Christmas. My situation looked like this: A called me they could offer me only unpaid internship. I was getting kinda bored of rice and debts, tbh. I gracefully rejected their generous offer. B didn't give me feedback yet(it was a most recent interview, so I didn't expect any message until after Christmas anyway). C told me that they could give me internship, but I managed to convince them to make it paid internship. After three months of very bad times, things were starting to get better.
On part III we will explore further events of my very recent past. That post will be same amount of storytelling and possibly a lesson for those who seek an employer and for those who seek an employee.6
100% accurate product description on Google…
Which color of the iPhone 8 do you prefer?
Silver looking as the Fujitsu ESPRIMO Desktop, or Space Gray looking as an HDD? 🤔
Without counting the "Oro Garanzia" (Gold Warranty) looking as Space Gray.4
Yes, i can surely calculate the distribution of datasets when they look like
9 x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x 1
That will be SO accurate2
I have only read negative things about slack - can any of you give me a good list of reasons for why people don't like it and whether that's accurate10
Me using numpy.polyfit() to fit a function to some data. Blame polyfit for not being accurate, search the web to find any related problems, as the polynom doesn't fit at all. Polynom is of 2nd degree, polyfit becomes unstable at about degree 20?? Try Polynomial.fit() ... same results. How can they all be wrong???See a little typo in my code, calculating the polynom points. Fix it, everything works.... wasted 2 and a half weeks because of this error.🤦🤦
Didn't think I had material for a rant but... Oh boy (at least at the level I'm at, I'm sure worse is to come)
I'm a Java programmer, lets get that out of the way. I like Java, it feels warm and fuzzy, and I'm still a n00b so I'm allowed to not code everything in assembly or whatever.
So I saw this video about compilers and how they optimize and move and do stuff with the machine code while generating the executable files. And the guy was using this cool terminal that had color, autocomplete past commands and just looked cool. So I was like "I'll make that for my next project!"
So I Google around and find a code snipped that gives me "raw" input (vs "cooked" input) and returns codes and I'm like 😎. Pressing "a" returns 97 (I think that's the ASCII value) and I think this is all golden now.
No point in ranting if everything goes as planned so here is the *but*
Tabs, backspaces and other codes like that returned appropriate ASCII codes in Unix. But in windows, no such thing. And since I though I'd go multiplatform (WORA amarite) now I had to do extra work so that it worked cross platform.
Then I saw arrow keys have no ASCII codes... So I pressed a arrow key and THREE SEPARATE VALUES WERE REGISTERED. Let me reiterate. Unix was pretending I had pressed three keys instead of one, for arrow keys. So on Unix, I had to work some magic to get accurate readings on what the user was actually doing (not too bad but still...). Windows actually behaved better, just spit out some high values and all was good. So two more systems I had to set up for dealing with arrow keys.
Now I got to ANSI codes (to display color, move around the terminal window and do other stuff). Unix supports them and Windows did but doesn't but does with some Win 10 patch...? But when tested it doesn't (at least from what I've seen). So now, all that work I put into making one Unix key and arrow key reader, and same for Windows, flies out the window. Windows needs a UI (I will force Win users, screw compatibility).
So after all the fiddling and messing, trying to make the bloody thing work on all systems, I now have to toss half the input system and rework it to support UI. And make a UI, which I absolutely despise (why I want to do back end work and thought this would be good, since terminal is not too front end).2
Thanks @xzvf my desk is now accurate because the only two things I drink are coffee and redbull ♥️6
I used to work in IT support during my training, this is the most accurate description of the job:
If everything just works people will be like "what do we pay you guys for?" And if something doesn't work: "what do we pay you guys for?" ...*sigh*1
As soon as curiosity sets in we’re searching on Google or asking our trusted friend Siri for the answer. In the 21st century, it isn’t about how much knowledge you have, but whether you know how to search quickly for the accurate information.
Can someone get an excerpt from the SO user db and diff it against the DevRant user db and compile a do-not-hire list of the ones that are only on SO?
And yes, I was recently triggered by a SO elitist.
This also assumes all the nice SO members are members of DevRant, which I think is fairly accurate.2
Fuck DataGrip, and it's an unintuitive interface, which asshole came up with the idea to remove the import menu option in favour of a drag and drop bullshit, and while I am at it fuck your documentation that is never accurate. You are a tool to speed up my work not create more tasks dummy!2
Was digging through an old HDD's OEM Windows recovery partitions and found FON-format fonts that are accurate to several old systems. Several Commodore and Amiga ones (some for 80-char mode too!) and lots of DOS ones. They have names and everything, but I can't use them after installing them... (there were a few blank ones in there too, which is odd...)
Has anyone ever tried to use a devices accelerometer to determine speed before?
The way i plan to do it, it should be more accurate than using GPS. Just wondering if anyone has ever done something similar that i can use32
Do you think that program with keyboard & mouse is faster than using a laptop keyboard & touchpad?
At least in my case having no BlockNum and bad distribution of navigation keys, plus the need to use the [Fn] hotkey:
[Shiftl] + [Fn] + [Home|End], just imagine when you have to do [Ctrl] + [Shift] + [Fn] + [Home|End].
Mouse is faster and more accurate than touchpad6
I figured I would share my Capstone from this semester with a community that might be interested. An eclipse plugin that was developed in our lab is able to implicitly track developer eye gazes as they work in an IDE (eclipse in this case). Before I began work on it, source code, bug reports, and stack overflow documents could be tracked with all of the data on said documents being extracted. For example, if source code is being tracked, everything from the file name and class/method name down to statement types are collected. The tracking isn't on still images. Since it's within an IDE, you can open multiple files, scroll, and modify -- all while tracking is collecting accurate data based on the (x, y) gaze coordinate and the handler assigned to the type of document/file being viewed.
My job was to extend this functionality to track gazes on UML class diagram documents. This means I had to gather data at the highest level: the class/connection being looked at, down to the lowest level: members/methods, their types and containing classes.
Being new to Java's EMF, GEF, and eclipse plugin development, I had a bit of a learning curve. Anyways here is the poster of the functionality I added. 🙃
Not much of a rant haha.
How accurate is this guys ? I came across this reading comments on youtube. The moral of Star Wars rogue one ^^ and project management at its finest...3
If anyone here wants to know how a generic engineering college will be like in India, here's the video
Do watch it. It is accurate af.
I don't like the education system in India, so this video hit me right in the feels.
I didn't choose this engineering life, neither did engineering life choose me. It was shoved down my throat by my teachers while my hands were tied to my back by my friends and my parents watched in silence.2
Fuck you c++...!!!
float a = 1.0/10.0;
float b = a*10.0;
a == b returns false
A beginner of c++ here
Wrote about a 1000 lines code (spread across multiple files, m not dumb)
Passed 90% of cases
Took one and a half days to figure out what's wrong
Turns out c++ doesn't give accurate (as perceived by a human who thinks in decimal) results when comparing equality of 2 floats with ==
Shouldn't that be the first thing to be taught in schools?22
I know you are trying to find the best employees for your company and are working very hard at it, but if you want the best results please be accurate about the posting. Do not put a job as Entry-level if the position requires 7+ years of experience. That is a senior level job. You will lose respect from those that have the experience and discourage all of the entry-level applicants from applying
An Entry level employee1
Your pizza with Uxbridge is on its way and should be with you in -32 minutes.
Well the timing is accurate at least but the failure to name the vendor looks deliberate.1
I just need the big stack of books for my avatar and it’ll look very accurate to my actual set up but replace the cup of coffee with a bottle of Cherry Coke9
I really feel lost in the world of freelancing, I mean I literally have three jobs on the go so barely any pressure and yet I'm cocking up my time estimations and mixing up code for each site, and giving incorrect predictions for completion, so basically I keep ending up working for free. Freelancers of the depths of devRant, please help! How do you manage to maintain a work life balance? Is accurate predictions and time management just something that comes with experience?
Also huge props to you for being able to keep your mentality!20
Our owner's other company sells products online (or has the ability to anyways). Their current site is 7+ years old WordPress/Woocommerce and is seriously outdated because the site breaks if you update anything so we've been told to make a new site (finally). They also said they were going to release a whole new line up of products. So the first thing I tried to do was get them to nail down their product line and how shipping was going to be configured. I was told to just use the shipping from the previous site.
Turns out those shipping rates don't use any sort of math or automation at all, there is literally a manually set shipping value for every single product for every single shipping location (30*60) and even values for different quantities. And there's no way to export these rates into a readable table because the plugins they use shove all the data into the postmeta table, I'm forced to go through and put the data into a spreadsheet so that I can attempt to organize it and hopefully find someone way to automate it. Owner claims at one point that he has a similar spreadsheet that's more up to date but for some reason refuses to send it over or put me in touch with the right people in the shipping department.
I've gone through the shipping rates with the old products and the new products and organized them as best I can and each time I've gotten done and shown them the spreadsheet with their products and shipping, they add or change something which requires me to basically wipe the slate clean and start over eating another 50 or so hours of my time, which with everything else really means another month+ to find time to work on it between other projects.
After about a year they finished their products and I finally finished the planning and got approval to build it out for the site. Small victory!!
After about 60 hours plugging these values into the database (only about 1/3 done) I get an email from their head of shipping who tells me the values in my spreadsheet are "terribly inaccurate, in some areas by $100+" and that the data should not be used anywhere.
So after something like a year and a half and 200+ hours of work, the data I've been using to plan all this isn't even accurate. I'm trying not to go crazy here but this kind of shit is unacceptable. When we're done with this I'm going to send the owner an invoice to show him how much money he wasted on this because nothing was planned and he just wanted it built. There's a fucking process for a reason, when you don't follow the process you fuck everything up. If a client had pulled this shit and turned their simple site into this much work they would have been dropped. I get constant emails asking when the new site will be done and every time my answer is "I'm still waiting for x items that I asked for last time you asked where we were." He gets a couple things on the list and sends them back and then goes unresponsive for weeks at a time.
Management has been telling me that I seem more stressed lately but only one of them understands what's going on here when I explain it. The rest say stupid shit like "why don't you automate it" or "make an intern do it." You won't let me hire an intern and even if I did, I'm not sure I could explain how the shipping works now to even trust someone else to do it. I'm hoping when the shipping guy gives me the new sheet that maybe there's some easier solution here because I'm ready to start shooting people.2
If any of you were wondering why all the panic when we keep hearing reports of so few people personally knowing anyone with covid19 symptoms, I think I just figured out why.
So as of yesterday, assume unofficially fatality is 15%. Yesterdays death total was 3861.
If we assume roughly 15% death rate, based on ten days average for a case to recover or die, then the cases that would be recovering today on april 1st would have been infected or started to show symptoms on march 22nd.
At that time there was 32882 cases total in the u.s.
Therefore for april 1st, that would mean by the end of the day today, if the ~15% fatality rate is accurate, there would be at least 4,932 fatalities logged today.
I don't know about you, but here it's almost 9am, not even halfway through the day, and we're already at 4067 deaths.
And now we get to the part where all this shit starts to make sense.
For a long time since this outbreak has started somethings been bugging me and I couldn't place what it was till now.
Why did it seem, no matter how high the numbers climbed, no matter how much this spread 'like the flu', no matter how hard I looked into it, very few people seemed to personally know anyone *in real life* who died or at least came down with this?
I mean we'd all heard the rumors that it was more lethal, and then mums the word, it seemed like media the world over simply except the official "it's only 2% lethal" line. Same as the line about it only infecting people of asian descent.
And it didn't make sense to me why the numbers were so high, and why all the panic if it's just the flu? I knew in the back of my mind it wasn't I just didn't have a specific reason why.
Here it is: This thing is still pretty contagious, but not as contagious as it *could* be with a lower fatality rate. And with a fatality rate at 15%, combine with *just sufficient* spread, it would continue to burn and fester in communities for a year or more until those panic-numbers we see on the news would become a real thing. And then no matter HOW flat we made the curve, it would be x5-x50 times worse than a bad flu.
So we get panic and fake numbers. Because you really don't want to catch this thing. It kills 1 in 6.6. And it spread just enough that it is hard to effectively fight.13
my psychopathic college gave me a task based on the given data to calculate the probablity with which we will die from cancer and the worst part is this calculation is accurate7
It's too early to be asking these questions today:
Are your DB schema changes checked into source control?
What branch are they checked into?
Why are the schema changes checked into one branch, but deployed to a completely different database?
Is my CI pipeline deploying incorrectly? Oh, you manually deployed changes.
Are your DB changes in source control an accurate reflection of what you actually put in the staging database?
Can I just cherry-pick update my schema with your changes from the staging database?
Why is there a typo in your field name?
Oh. Why is there a typo in the customer data set? Don't they know how to spell that word?
Why is the fucking staging database schema missing three critical tables?
Is the coffee ready? I need coffee.
Why is the coffee not ready yet?
What's going on in DevRant this morning?
What project am I working on now anyway?
Did my schema update finish yet?
Yup, it finished. Crap. Where the hell do I keep those backup files?
What's the command line to restore the file again?
Why doesn't our CLI tool support automated database restores?
I can fix that. What branch name should I check the CLI tool into?
What project was I working on this morning again?1
This was a one day project :
I created an app that would directly read feeds about our travel website when they hashtag about their experiences on twitter ,and automated it to pass it through a very minimal machine level algorithm to identify the sentiment of the tweet. (Good ,bad and neutral). The analyzer was about 40 percent accurate,but it did better with training the keywords.This not only helped the Global Communications perform better at their work,but were able to close out most of the issues on a day to day basis.4
Anyone in crypto mining?
Have a small question: why the fuck I am payed half of what I was expecting?!
I know the estimation is not accurate, but half of that or less?!?
(Estimation from the H/s)3
How do you guys explain to your CEO, PM, boss [whatever] that you cannot give them accurate time estimates for debugging? 😅
If something i made has a bug, and uses external libraries, not even debugging my code (more like, how i used / implemented something has a problem), i obviously have to first of all check what the hell is wrong ! I dont just make bugs for fun and happen to know exactly what is the problem and therefore the solution ...
Okay for some reason I can make an almost accurate avatar version of me but I can't change my eye color because it's not even a feature?3
I just tried to get support for a problem we're having getting accurate results from AdWords. Now I know why it's called Google ANALytics. With how complicated it all can be when you're trying not to overspend on AdWords, it's easy for people unfamiliar with it to get a "prison welcome".
I swear by all that is binary when I see Siri I’m going to curb stomp that skank. She single handedly makes me want to toss my iPhone X (which is heavy) into an Apple store window then pick it up to ask for assistance with a representative. I hate having to say “hey Siri!” just so she can take her sweet ass time to answer me. When I speak she fucking deaf and misinterprets what I say 80% of the time. English is my native language. I have to talk like a robot for her to get me. Alexa I’ve noticed works faster and more accurate. Siri take note!2
It's super hard to see how many steps/changes any task/feature will require.
So it's just fundamentally impossible to give accurate deadlines.
I try to drill this into all non-programmers I work with.
They hate how wild my ranges are.1
Is there a practical way to predict the crowd density of a place in real-time?
I was thinking of some way to scrape social media activities and using the geolocation tags to predict the crowd in that particular area?
But I am looking for a more accurate alternative!
All ideas are welcome12
i can't stop laughing at this poor guy and i feel really bad about it
(for reference, Gambatte is #2 in accuracy, 3DS VC runs games like VBA 2007 does (read: literally *barely*) and GameYob is about 16-17% more accurate than VC, so... 45% or so?)5
A hyperrealistic military/civilian simulator a la ArmA. Simulating continents, accurate sounds etc. with a easy to use editor for scenarios.
Massive Multiplayer Sessions with hundreds of players while maintaining great performance.
And all of this with the best physics engine you have ever seen 😅2
Just discovered "git hours" (https://github.com/kimmobrunfeldt/...) and it's as simple as awesome! I'm gonna start using it in combination with RescueTime to check how accurate are my estimations... Any thoughts, suggestions or experiences on this, guys?
From a meme somewhere, but pretty accurate.
When everything works. Boss:"Why are these guys even here?"
When problems occur. Boss:"Why are these guys even here?"
How does google map get the ever changing streets data? Be it traffic or general street map? It's accurate af! If a street is shut temporarily, it knows that and reroutes.
I understand that if there are others who are using Google maps in the area, it can aggregate and make an educated guess for every other user. But I am pretty sure it just can't rely on other users opening the app and having their gps on. Eg: live traffic data.. not everyone on the road is using maps!2
Oh my gosh, no one really knows here what is programming. Even teachers, which claim to be professionals in the subject doesn't know shit except for the basic theory. Nothing in practice.
It was evidenced by the largest job skill competition of Finland (Taitaja) that's for my-aged students (18). And yeah it's not higher education studies, just second degree, but that's where you should get the necessary practical skills for your work life.
The category I participated was website development, which is the only software development category.
It was a public event that is focused on showcasing different jobs. Well, what do programmers do, a viewer may ask. Even the responsible teachers and juries couldn't really answer properly. They just showed the specs we were following to create the crappiest of websites the short period of development time.
So we consume coffee and produce HTML, is that accurate representation of the whole industry?
All the other winners of different categories get a lot of job offers from companies when they win. I won gold last year (bronze this year) and I didn't get a single offer. Who would be interested in human HTML generator who can only make static websites anyway?
Programming is about problem-solving, not about graphic design and writing content.
And just to give you an idea the scale of the competition: last year I made a total of ~2000€ for the victory. And it is super easy if you just know what you are doing. That being graphic design and the making of a static page with a pinch of functionality.1
Everybody speaks about this "compatibility matrix" but nobody can produce an accurate copy anymore.1
Having problems with getting user's IP address with PHP.
So basically I made a custom DDoS protection for my linux server.
It works like this: php website gathers visitor IP address when he does a certain action (in this case registers an account). All visitor ips are stored in ips.txt securely on my website ftp.
Then my linux server has iptables rules setup in a way where it blocks all traffic except my website traffic.
On linux server I have a cron job which pulls whitelisted ips every 5 minutes from my php website FTP and then whitelists all IP's in iptables.
That way only visitor IP's (of those who registered account in my website) are being whitelisted in my linux server.
In case of a DDoS attack, all traffic is dropped except for the whitelisted visitor's IP's gathered from website ips.txt
Now I'm having a problem. My PHP script is not accurate. Some visitors in my website are not being whitelisted because they might have a different ipv4 ip address than what is given from php website. So basically I am looking for some php script/library that would gather ALL ipv4 ips from a visitor, then whitelist them.
Also regarding ipv6, my iptables are all default (which means that all ipv6 visitor traffic is allowed) so problem is not with visitors that have ipv6. Problem is with my script not getting ALL ipv4 ip addresses assigned to the user.
Can you recommend me some php library for that? So far I've used https://github.com/marufhasan1/... but apparently it's not accurate enough.16
Had a hell of a week trying to convince a client that "Case Sensitivity" is a real thing in programming languages.
So there was some typo in some third party code which client had provided which was not giving the accurate results, but the client was not ready to listen. I asked him to get the variable rectified from the 3rd party from
var1 to Var1
But he somehow had a notion in the back of his mind that the 3rd party could never ever be wrong and it was surely I who had screwed up the code and he won't even bother the other team.
He was all like "I don't understand anything remotely connected with coding, but do explain me why is this not working ?" (His exact words)
Me (thinking): umm, WTF !!!
After to and fro for the whole damn week, finally able to convince him ( I guess, still doubtful) after giving the video and link of a jsfiddle showing him all the freaking magic of caseSensitivity!
I feel like I’m putting a lot of pressure on myself because I haven’t done much developing lately. I started a ASP.NET Core tutorial/book (that I already made a rant about) I’m enjoying it and the imposter syndrome that accompanies learning something new. But I’m scared I won’t be able to grasp anything from the project I’m building with the tut and won’t be able to actually do anything with it. But we will see hopefully when it’s complete I’ll understand it better. And I also have college to worry about so fuck that and my teacher that never likes my answers no matter how accurate they are4
Critical Tips to Learn Programming Faster Sample:
Be comfortable with basics
The mistake which many aspiring students make is to start in a rush and skip the basics of programming and its fundamentals. They tend to start from the comparatively advanced topics.
This tends to work in many sectors and fields of Technology, but in the world of programming, having a deep knowledge of the basic principles of coding and programming is a must. If you are taking a class through a tutor and you feel that they are going too fast for your understanding, you need to be firm and clear and tell them to go slowly, so that you can also be on the same page like everyone else
Most often than not, many people tend to struggle when they reach a higher level with a feeling of getting lost, then they feel the need to fall back and go through basics, which is time-consuming. Learning basics well is the key to be fast and accurate in programming.
Practice to code by hand.
This may sound strange to some of you. Why write a code by hand when the actual work is supposed to be done on a computer? There are some reasons for this.
One reason being, when you were to be called for an interview for a programming job, the technical evaluation will include a hand-coding round to assess your programming skills. It makes sense as experts have researched and found that coding by hand is the best way to learn how to program.
Be brave and fiddle with codes
Most of us try to stick to the line of instructions given to us by our seniors, but it is extremely important to think out of the box and fiddle around with codes. That way, you will learn how the results get altered with the changes in the code.
Don't be over-ambitious and change the whole code. It takes experience to reach that level. This will give you enormous confidence in your skillset
Reach out for guidance
Seeking help from professionals is never looked down upon. Your fellow mates will likely not feel a hitch while sharing their knowledge with you. They also have been in your position at some point in their career and help will be forthcoming.
You may need professional help in understanding the program, bugs in the program and how to debug it. Sometimes other people can identify the bug instantly, which may have escaped your attention. Don't be shy and think that they'll make of you. It's always a team effort. Be comfortable around your colleagues.
You must have seen people burning the midnight oil and not coming to a conclusion, hence being reported by the testing team or the client.
These are common occurrences in the IT Industry. It is really important to conserve energy and take regular breaks while learning or working. It improves concentration and may help you see solutions faster. It's a proven fact that taking a break while working helps with better results and productivity. To be a better programmer, you need to be well rested and have an active mind.
It's a common misconception that learning how to program will take a lot of money, which is not true. There are plenty of online college courses designed for beginner students and programmers. Many free courses are also available online to help you become a better programmer. Websites like Udemy and programming hub is beneficial if you want to improve your skills.
There are free courses available for everything from [HTML](https://bitdegree.org/learn/...) to CSS. You can use these free courses to get a piece of good basic knowledge. After cementing your skills, you can go for complex paid courses.
Read Relevant Material
One should never stop acquiring knowledge. This could be an extension of the last point, but it is in a different context. The idea is to boost your knowledge about the domain you're working on.
In real-life situations, the client for which you're writing a program for possesses complete knowledge of their business, how it works, but they don't know how to write a code for some specific program and vice versa.
So, it is crucial to keep yourself updated about the recent trends and advancements. It is beneficial to know about the business for which you're working. Read relevant material online, read books and articles to keep yourself up-to-date.
Never stop practicing
The saying “practice makes perfect” holds no matter what profession you are in. One should never stop practicing, it's a path to success. In programming, it gets even more critical to practice, since your exposure to programming starts with books and courses you take. Real work is done hands-on, you must spend time writing codes by hand and practicing them on your system to get familiar with the interface and workflow.
Search for mock projects online or make your model projects to practice coding and attentively commit to it. Things will start to come in the structure after some time.6