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What it's like to be a network engineer...translated into normal people speak
User: I think we are having a major road issue.
Me: What? No, I just checked, the roads are fine. I was actually just on the roads.
User: No, I’m pretty sure the roads are down because I’m not getting pizzas.
Me: Everything else on the roads is fine. What do you mean you aren’t getting pizzas?
User: I used to get pizzas when I ordered them, now I’m not getting them. It has to be a road issue.
Me: As I said, the roads are fine. Where are you getting pizzas from?
User: I’m not really sure. Can you check all places that deliver pizzas?
Me: No I don’t even know all the places that deliver pizza. You need to narrow it down.
User: I think it is Subway.
Me: Okay, I’ll check…No, I just looked and Subway doesn't deliver pizzas.
User: I’m pretty sure it is Subway. Can you just allow all food from Subway and we can see if pizza shows up?
Me: Sigh, fine I’ve allowed all food from Subway, but I don’t think that is the issue.
User: Yeah I’m still not getting pizza. Can you check the roads?
Me: It’s not the roads, the roads are fine. I’m pretty sure Subway isn’t the place.
User: Okay, I found it. It’s Papa Johns.
Me: Okay, I looked and Papa Johns does deliver pizza. Is it the local Papa Johns or one in a different town?
User: I don’t know. Can you allow pizza from all Papa Johns to me?
Me: No I can’t do that. Can you get me an address for Papa Johns?
User: No, I only know it as Papa Johns. Can you get me all the addresses of all Papa Johns and I’ll tell you if one of them is correct?
Me: No, I don’t have time for that. Okay, I looked at the local one and it looks like they have sent you pizza in the past and they are currently allowed to send you pizzas. Try ordering a pizza while I watch.
User: Yeah still no pizza. I’m guessing they are getting blocked at the freeway. Can you check the freeway to make sure they can get through?
Me: No, this is a local delivery. They aren't even using the freeway.
User: Okay, well then it has to be a road issue.
Me: No, the roads are fine. Okay, I just drove from the Papa Johns to the address they have on file for you and there is nothing there.
User: Hmm, wait we did move recently.
Me: Did you give your new address to Papa Johns?
User: No, I just thought they would be able to look me up by name.
Me: No they need your new address. What’s your new address?
User: I’m not really sure. Can you look it up?
Me: Sigh, give me a second…Okay, I found your address and gave it to Papa Johns. Try ordering a pizza now.
User: HEY! PIZZA JUST SHOWED UP!
Me: Okay, good.
User: (To everyone else they know) I apologize for the delay in the pizza but there was a major road issue that was preventing the pizza from getting to me. The network engineer has fixed the roads and we are able to get pizza again.
Me: But it wasn’t the roads…whatever.
User: Oh, can you also check on an issue where Chinese food isn’t getting to me? I think it may be a road issue49 -
!rant
*Theoretical computer scientist is at an interview.*
Interviewer: “Imagine that you are walking down a road and see a house on fire. What do you do?”
CS Guy: “I dial the police and tell them that the house is on fire.”
Interviewer: “Good. Now, imagine that you are walking down the same road, and you see that the same house is not on fire. What do you do?”
CS Guy: *Ponders for a little while.* “I put the house on fire and reduce it to a problem I’ve solved before.”10 -
The worst bad practice I do is I keep going to work.
Many years down the road I will probably look back and say I should have spent more time with my wife (who are you?) and children (wow, you are tall).4 -
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Assembler Chicken: First, it builds the road ......
C Chicken: It crosses the road without looking both ways.
C++ Chicken: The chicken wouldn't have to cross the road, you' d simply refer to him on the other side.
COBOL Chicken: 0001-CHICKEN-CROSSING.
IF NO-MORE-VEHICLES
THEN PERFORM 0010-CROSS-THE-ROAD
VARYING STEPS FROM 1 BY 1 UNTIL
ON-THE-OTHER-SIDE
ELSE
GO TO 0001-CHICKEN-CROSSING
Cray Chicken: Crosses faster than any other chicken, but if you don't dip it in liquid nitrogen first, it arrives on the other side frazzled.
Delphi Chicken: The chicken is dragged across the road and dropped on the other side.
Gopher Chicken: Tried to run but got beaten by the Web chicken.
Intel Pentium Chicken: The chicken crossed 4.9999978 times.
Iomega Chicken: The chicken should have ' backed up' before crossing.
Java Chicken: If your road needs to be crossed by a chicken, then the server will download one to the other side. (Of course, those are chicklets.) See also WMI Monitor.
Linux Chicken: Don't you *dare* try to cross the road the same way we do!
Mac Chicken: No reasonable chicken owner would want a chicken to cross the road, so there's no way to tell it how to cross the road.
Newton Chicken: Can't cluck, can't fly, and can't lay eggs, but you can carry it across the road in your pocket.
OOP Chicken: It doesn't need to cross the road, it just sends a message.
OS/2 Chicken: It crossed the road in style years ago, but it was so quiet that nobody noticed.
Microsoft's Chicken: It's already on both sides of the road. What's more its just bought the road.
Windows 95 Chicken: You see different coloured feathers while it crosses, but when you cook it still tastes like........ chicken.
Quantum Logic Chicken: The chicken is distributed probabilistically on all sides of the road until you observe it on the side of your choice.
VB Chicken: USHighways! <TheRoad.cross> (aChicken)
XP Chicken Jumps out onto the road, turns right, and just keeps on running.
The Longhorn Chicken had an identity crisis and is now calling itself Vista.
The Vista Chicken dazzled itself with its own graphics.20 -
!geek girlfriend
Me and my partner are in the car driving. We drive by a young girl who is on her scooter. I look at my gf and ask,
Me: do you sometimes have some weird thoughts in mind (and nothing relating to sex her just so you know).
Her: well what do you mean?
Me: well i se that person scootering on the sidewalk and i imagine screaming at her like a lunatic “GET THE FUCK OFF THE ROAD PUNK” (which the little girl clearly isn't).
She laughs.
Her: yeah，i do too but it's more scientific， like sometimes i wonder how many times some one would flip. In the air if i hit them with the car or how long would it take some one to reach the ground if i pushed them off the balcony.
....
Me: silence...
Skin goes white
Her: looks at me with a big smile!!!
Im not sure if this is good or bad ;)23 -
*Theoretical computer scientist is at an interview.*
Interviewer: “Imagine that you are walking down a road and see a house on fire. What do you do?”
CS Guy: “I dial the police and tell them that the house is on fire.”
Interviewer: “Good. Now, imagine that you are walking down the same road, and you see that the same house is not on fire. What do you do?”
CS Guy: *Ponders for a little while.* “I put the house on fire, thus reducing it to a problem I’ve solved before.”2 -
Bought a tiny tablet so I can more easily do server management on the road/in bed.
I'm playing old school minesweeper on it now 😓7 -
Height of work pressure:
⚠ I was flashing my ID card instead of unlocking the house door with the keys.
⚠Me and my friends went out for dinner in one of the best restaurants and as I finished, I started walking towards the wash basin with plates in my hand.
⚠I don't login to facebook, youtube, etc.. at my personal internet connection at home... thinking it will be blocked anyway. Till I realized that, I was at home.
⚠Once after talking to one of my friends I ended the conversation saying, "Ok bye... in case of any issues will call you back"
⚠Once I went to a pharmacy and asked for a tab. Pharmacist asked whether I want 250mg or 500mg? I replied 256mb. Thank god he didn't notice.
⚠After a hectic week, went to a movie. In the middle of the movie, when I wanted to check the time, I kept repeatedly glancing at the bottom right corner of the Theatre Screen.
😄So avoid working so hard !😄
Have a great work-life balance.
Lastly...
⚠Extreme Work Pressure:
An employee opens his lunch box on the road side to see, whether he is going to office, or coming back from office.😂😂..1 -
Fucking fuck fuck fucker fucking fuck
What a dumbass guy seriously. I have this colleague in my office who refuses to create a new branch because that will "ruin the single straight line". Are you seriously fucking kidding me??? The noobest guy ever doesnt know a third git command other than pulling and committing fucking nonsense. Why use git then? Just go back to creating zip files are maintain code. Fuck that guy too who hired him and now because of this fucking asshole I am not able to carry on my work.
Such so-called "developers" should be strapped to the back of a horse and the horse made to run on a gravel road for fuck's sake.. Fuck you man 🖕24 -
S: Do you want to hear a UDP joke?
C: Yes I would like to hear a UDP joke.
S: ...
S: ...
C: ...?...?...?
S: Well I don't care if you get it!
User: "Hello, I'd like to hear a torrent joke".
Tracker: "I will refer you to people who can tell you a torrent joke"
Peer1: "Why d"
Peer2: "cken "
Peer3: "road?"
Peer4: "id th"
Peer3: "cross"
Peer1: "e chi"
Peer5: " the"
Peer2: "the o"
Peer4: "To ge"
Peer1: "side."
Peer5: "ther"
Peer2: "t to"4 -
Hello devRant, it's been a while. For anyone who has been following my... situation, here's a little update.
I moved back home to Kansas City, Missouri. Staying with parents for now.
I had to leave my daughter in Los Angeles, which was hard for me... but i can't provide for her living in my car.
I also got divorce papers in the mail from my wife. And I have a lot of court battles coming up to get custody of my daughter so she can live here with me. It's a long road ahead.
On the plus side, my parents took me camping and we kayaked the Little Niangua river! I hadn't gone camping or floating in at least 10 years. It was very relaxing.
At any rate fellas, enjoy and appreciate the good times and the people in your life. You never know when it'll all go to hell.
21 -
Hello Monday:
0.Arrive late due to traffic.(Apparently a car hit a cow crossing the road)
1. Try upgrading php5 to php7 and break stuff in the process and waste 2 hours fixing things.(Poor connection so ssh sessions hung occasionally)
2.PHP fixed,open Gmail and get over 100 emails from clients about the server being down(because of (0)).Ignore all.Find a snaglist of over 20 TODOs.
3.Open Android Studio, update to 2.3 and everything becomes broken.Each time i open it ,it crashes and i have to "Report to Google"
4.Spend the next 1 hour reinstalling AS.It finally works.
5.Open Project and the libraries are broken.Spend another hour upgrading build tools.
6.Leave SDK to update and decide to check my Google Cloud console.$50 bill pending.Shit.
7.Try XCode. Remember the project is still in Swift 2 and I have to upgrade it(Would take eternity).Immediately closes xcode.
8.Gives up on life and decides to log into Devrant.4 -
Friend asked me, "How does it feel being the CTO of a startup?"
Me: "I feel like the main character in one of those cartoons where train, going full speed, is running out of rail road, so he takes rails from behind the train and puts them in front. And the entire thing is on fire. And everyone you hire is trying to put it out with gasoline."
Friend: "Doesn't your CEO help?"
Me: "Well... He had never seen a train before, and he thought they operate on magic and wishful thinking. And he never realized they need rail track to even run. So... not really"
Friend: "So, it's pretty bad, ha?"
Me: "It's great actually. We just closed our seed round. We're about to launch beta. I might even get 5-6 hours of sleep this weekend 😅"10 -
/* Daily sit down meeting */
What did you work on yesterday?
- Tea
What are you working on today?
- Tea
Any road blocks?
- *sips tea* ...nah no11 -
Manual Data Entry: Most boring job
This reminds me of one conversation with one of my faculty..
Faculty: Why not try some Machine Learning Project?
Me: Cool. Any ideas you have already thought
Faculty: Comes up with a really noble idea
Me: Awesome idea. But we need data
Faculty: Don't worry. I will get it. Just help me setup Hadoop (see the irony.. no data yet, and he wants big data setup)
Me: But we don't have data. Let's focus of data collection, Sir
Faculty: I will get it. Don't worry. Trust me.
( I did setup for him twice coz he formatted the system on which I did the setup first time)
After 6 months,
Me: (same question) Sir, Data??
Faculty: I got it.
Me: Great. Give me, I can start looking into it from today.
Faculty: Actually, it's in a register written manually in a different language (which even I can't understand) I will hire data entry guys to convert it into English digital contents.
Me: *facepalm*
Road to Manual data entry to Big Data
Dedicating this pencil to the individuals keeping the register up to date and Sir in hopes of converting it into big data..
Long way to go..
4 -
Why the fuck isn't that center line on that road not centered? Irritating the fuck out of me. Who chooses such an image to promote anything?
8 -
D: Hey, your stuff isn't working, fix your stuff or it will become a road blocker.
Me: Why it is not working?
D: Because I used the same table as you used, and I changed a few things. there are 22 reasons for it.
(polite conversation stopped and I redirected him to my manager)
WTF? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? YOU CHANGED MY STUFF WITHOUT TELLING ME AND YOU ARE NOT USING ANY SOURCE CONTROL? WTF? YOU CREATED THIS SHIT AND CALL MY STUFF NOT WORKING? ARE YOU A FUCKING IDIOT?
CUT YOUR FINGERS AND POINT TO YOURSELF.2 -
Now that I have time to approach my ultimate dream ( being the pro penrester ) , asked a hacker for a road map and he gave me (U'll rarely see such open hackers that share knowledge :) )
Surprisingly I've been familiar with all the topics but being the most pro , requires u to be pro in every single topic .
Guess what ? I'm starting from basic linux commands all over again 😂
echo 'hello world :/'
25 -
My Galaxy S7 Edge fell onto the gravel road as I was getting out of my car and the screen shattered into tons of small cracks!! Just a few days before I was gonna sell it to somebody for the same price I bought it for! 😫
FUUUUUCCCKKK 😡18 -
Every time I post a question to SO I feel so anxious.
Did I provide enough code samples and information?
Did I provide TOO MUCH information?
Is my English alright?
Did I really try everything else or will someone point out something totally obvious after that I feel that I need to delete my post because it's just dumb?
Feeling anxious right now... Worst of all: it's an important work related question, so I have to think about a new task because this issue was my only one and a road blocker.
AAAARRGGHHH!12 -
True programmers can never cross the road without calculating the shortest path to cross....🚸🚧🚔🛣️✋4
-
!dev
I live next to a nightclub and went outside for a fag.
It’s wet, 2:30am and kinda cold.
A girl and her boyfriend come out of the club..
Her feet hurt because of her high heels so she takes them off, walking on the wet, cold road barefoot now.
Her boyfriend sees it and tells her to put them back on.
She denies.
He takes off his shoes and gives them to her (good boyfriend...) she puts them on, almost falling over cause she’s hammered as fuck, takes them off again and says they don’t fit and look stupid on her..
WTF, I understand taking the shoes off When she’s drunk but I don’t understand how the fuck she could care if it looks good at half 2 in the morning in an empty town..
I’ve seen it all now..
#onlyInIreland17 -
I hate how some recruiters treat you.
I get it - I'm not your client, the person hiring me is. I get it - at the end of the day I'm just a big bag of money in your eyes.
But at least treat me like a person. I may have a family I need to take care of and the carrot you're dangling in front of me may mean the difference between me living comfortably and me being homeless. So after an interview even if it didn't go well let me know. DON'T avoid my phone calls or emails because you don't want to deal with breaking the news to me and instead hope you just never hear from me again.2 -
1. Buy a road
2. Name it after an sql injection
3. Have mail delivered to you
4. ...
5. Profit... I guess?7 -
We got a prequalification letter from the bank finally, so: Surprise vacation!
Leaving tomorrow morning to look at houses! 😊 Yaaay! Maybe we can move out of this misery at last!
Working on the road tomorrow, Monday is a holiday, and I’m taking Tuesday off.
Ta-ra ~21 -
A memorial for my favorite rant of all time "Why did the chicken cross the road?"
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Assembler Chicken: First, it builds the road ......
C Chicken: It crosses the road without looking both ways.
C++ Chicken: The chicken wouldn't have to cross the road, you' d simply refer to him on the other side.
COBOL Chicken: 0001-CHICKEN-CROSSING.
IF NO-MORE-VEHICLES
THEN PERFORM 0010-CROSS-THE-ROAD
VARYING STEPS FROM 1 BY 1 UNTIL
ON-THE-OTHER-SIDE
ELSE
GO TO 0001-CHICKEN-CROSSING
Cray Chicken: Crosses faster than any other chicken, but if you don't dip it in liquid nitrogen first, it arrives on the other side frazzled.
Delphi Chicken: The chicken is dragged across the road and dropped on the other side.
Gopher Chicken: Tried to run but got beaten by the Web chicken.
Intel Pentium Chicken: The chicken crossed 4.9999978 times.
Iomega Chicken: The chicken should have ' backed up' before crossing.
Java Chicken: If your road needs to be crossed by a chicken, then the server will download one to the other side. (Of course, those are chicklets.) See also WMI Monitor.
Linux Chicken: Don't you *dare* try to cross the road the same way we do!
Mac Chicken: No reasonable chicken owner would want a chicken to cross the road, so there's no way to tell it how to cross the road.
Newton Chicken: Can't cluck, can't fly, and can't lay eggs, but you can carry it across the road in your pocket.
OOP Chicken: It doesn't need to cross the road, it just sends a message.
OS/2 Chicken: It crossed the road in style years ago, but it was so quiet that nobody noticed.
Microsoft's Chicken: It's already on both sides of the road. What's more its just bought the road.
Windows 95 Chicken: You see different coloured feathers while it crosses, but when you cook it still tastes like........ chicken.
Quantum Logic Chicken: The chicken is distributed probabilistically on all sides of the road until you observe it on the side of your choice.
VB Chicken: USHighways! <TheRoad.cross> (aChicken)
XP Chicken Jumps out onto the road, turns right, and just keeps on running.
The Longhorn Chicken had an identity crisis and is now calling itself Vista.
The Vista Chicken dazzled itself with its own graphics.21 -
A few days ago I went to my local bank again to check my balance and see whether some transfers that I've been waiting for have been completed.. as I was walking there - headphones on, music full blast - I was zoning out a bit. Of course I was, not like I have to mind cars in the middle of bumfuck here. There's hardly any in this town. So meh.
Now that day there was one.. I was just about to cross the road and suddenly looked left, and there it was. A mindless meatbag behind the wheel of a killing machine - an average driver. Visibly startled I suddenly stopped and waited for her to drive away. At this point she was about 20-ish meters away and already stopped. Come on bitch.. I already stopped and I am not going to cross this road as long as you're here. Hit the fucking pedal.
So she accelerated again.. and drove to the parking spot at the other side of the road, then stopped there. Oh, cool. Maybe she needs to be somewhere in this town. … Not at all. Bitch accelerates again, and stops yet again 2 parking spots further. What the fuck (ಠ_ಠ).. and I thought that I was an idiot...
Then she accelerates yet again and drives away. Looked after her, astonished by the amount of brain damage she just caused to me. Must've been a Facebook user.. holy fucking shit. Through what kind of black magic do these people get a driver's license?!4 -
Since everyone seems to be talking about getting places late, here's my not-so-significant story about my most recent interview.
So I was told that GPS probably wouldn't work. But the instructions that I got were not specific enough to guide me - something I learned only once I arrived in the general area that I was supposed to be in.
Ended up going one street too far and talking to the wrong front desk. They kindly gave me instructions to get to my destination.
These instructions were also wrong. They left out one step and viola, I'm at the gate of the sheriff dog training facility.
Turn 'er around and finally get on the correct road. My 20 minutes early turned into 10 minutes late, just like that.
They were understanding and I got the job.5 -
I explained my latest project to a non developer friend. I told him I'm almost done with the code, now I just need to debug and get it ready for production.
"Why don't you write code that doesn't have any bugs?"
"Holy shit! I never thought about that! Thank you so much, I'll make sure to write bug free code from now on".10 -
Reject original specs. Do the bare minimum MVP that works and solves problems people actually have, and not problems you think people have.
Improve it if needed.
In my experience, software projects don’t live long enough to outgrow the MVP. If they do, it happens way down the road. At that point, business will change, and the original spec will become irrelevant.
It’s a paradox: 90% of the spec was discarded, but the business is happier than if we followed the spec word by word.
Also, static typing and unit testing solve nothing. I’m sorry.
24 -
Interview for a new job
Team leader: well yes, we have this webapp with Angular, it's a bit convoluted so we need help working on it
Me: sounds good enough, I have no experience with Angular though, I'll need to learn on the road
Team leader: no worries :)
A couple of weeks later, after joining the team
Me: wait a moment, that's not Angular you got there. That's AngularJS, it's like 10 years old
Team leader: 😊
Bruh11 -
Bark OS X
Barkosoft
Bark Gates
PHBark
Larabark
Bark.js
XBark
Kanbark
Body-barker
BARK.NET
Linux Bark
Elebarkary OS
sudo apt-bark install
MySQBark
Rebarx
iBark
Deadbark
Backbark
Bark-up
Road & Track: The Need for Bark
XBark One
Bark Station 4
Unbark Engine
C-bark
Objective-Bark
Sbark (Slack, okay this one's a stretch)
StackOverbark
Daft Bark - Motherbark (listening to it right now)
EBark
Counter-Bark
NBARK
Abark
Hewlett - Barkard
Huabark
Barkdroid, of course
Xamabark
BarkScript
Logibark
AMBark
Alright, back to work :)14 -
Based on how many people are violently upset at Apple for removing a 60 year old piece of technology from their phones I'm guessing this is the ideal types of ports for some people. Because why try something new when you can stick to legacy technology?
40 -
Please google, stop the recaptcha madness...I'm sitting here for 30 minutes, clicking on road signs10
-
Life Before the Computer
An application was for employment
A program was a TV show
A cursor used profanity
A keyboard was a piano!
Memory was something that you lost with age
A CD was a bank account
And if you had a 3-inch floppy
You hoped nobody found out!
Compress was something you did to garbage
Not something you did to a file
And if you unzipped anything in public
You'd be in jail for awhile!
Log on was adding wood to a fire
Hard drive was a long trip on the road
A mouse pad was where a mouse lived
And a backup happened to your commode!
Cut - you did with a pocket knife
Paste you did with glue
A web was a spider's home
And a virus was the flu!
I guess I'll stick to my pad and paper
And the memory in my head
I hear nobody's been killed in a computer crash
But when it happens they wish they were dead!3 -
Young love is so heartbreaking...
"---if you see a beautiful flower on road trying to grow, would you water it or just pluck it out because you find it nice?"
"--I will take it from the roots, go to my home, plant it in my garden, and water it till the day either of us die"
And today after 6 years of school-life, the flower has decided to get plucked by some asshole Garland maker, so stop comparing yourself with the flower you think yourself to be and enjoy your life with the biggest shitbag you liked...
;__;6 -
Took a headoverheels digger on my bike today, groceries went flying, chinos even ripped on the asphalt, first thing this lady bystander says is RAAAAAAAAAAAAA THIS IS A PEDESTRIAN ONLY STREET!!!!!
I'm like no it's not, look at the sign
nO iTs BeEn WrITtEn FoR 2o YeArS, pEdEsTriAnS onLy!!!!!
sure enough at the end of the road, says pedestrians AND bikes allowed... 🤡🤡🤡🤡
stupid bitch, if you're gonna be a bitch at least be right about it
honestly i'm not sure how people navigate through the world, just floating around, no REAL knowledge or consideration of anything, just ideas, hype, and idiotic "feelings"6 -
so im deciding to byte the bullet and roll down the angular road.
install node they say, its quick and easy they say... 1 hour later after
./configure
make
im starting to wonder if i made the right decision.10 -
I didn't even know what photography is a month ago. Then I was going on a road trip with my girlfriend so I bout a camera. Didn't read the manual just watched bunch of videos and realized it was just tuning parameters. Now I'm the master.
6 -
Dual monitor windows PC for working/gaming and an ubuntu laptop for on the road. My desktop monitor setup is a bit ghetto tho, ones gloss and ones a matt finish, both different sizes and different heights 😋
-
Go to Denver with a friend for an Iron Maiden concert. I try edibles for the first time, which of course means take way too much. Hallucinate that lead singer is an arm flailing inflatable tube Man. I have a pretty good time. Walk back to the motel at midnight and have to launch a client's website from stage to production on the slow Motel Wi-Fi. I'm ready to pass out at this point, but I got my laptop, and I got my VPN running. So I spend the next 6 hours moving the site from one server to another while occasionally passing out for 20 to 30 minutes at a time.
One of the best road trips of my life. Five stars would do again.2 -
xroad's rule for downvoting:
If you just reposted something in the span of a few hours or less I will downvote it.
If your rant starts with "there are 10 kinds of people in the world" my thumb will hit the -- button faster than an intern will ask a stupid question.3 -
We do infra as a code, and one of my coworker worked on the project alone. Few months down the road, when shit hits the fan, he just message me this is not working.
First of all, I did not write that shit, and also I was never part of the conversation during the decision making. So when shit hits the fan what do you expect me to do? Do some black magic and fix it magically???
1 -
One day I felt sorry for my PM:
He was on the way to present an application to a client.
The PM showed me the mess the app was while asking with sadness how he should present that buggy thing.. he and I were new to the project.
After that day I told myself I would put all of my efforts to develop for excellent quality and change the app road.
This days all he did was pressure the team to develop fast.. all my "quality work" at half. Why I care for this guys? All PMs are the same5 -
!rant, but whatever... At least it brightened my day.
So, I was walking to my school, when I saw a visibly "tired" guy (you know, a lot must've happened yesterday evening / night) walking on the other side of the road in the opposite direction. He crossed the street with the wobble of uncalibrated drone and at that point I knew what is going to happen. Or so I thought.
So we're walking towards each other. At one point he looks at me.
Me: *thinking* "Yep, he saw me. I'm going to be asked for money, am I not? Ugh, I have to think about excuse. Again..."
He: "dude..."
Me: *thinking* "Mmkey, here we go again"
He: "dude, don't do drugs... 'cuz they're bad"
And he walks away.
So, I guess today's lesson is you'll never know when you're going to get friendly advice from random people.4 -
The moment when you see "block chain" on a client's road map, but they can't tell you what that is or what they want to use it for5
-
I and my mates finally finished the project : a console calculator that manages parenthesis, infinite numbers, the four major operators and also all the bases from 1 to 94
We were not allowed to use stdlib except for malloc, stdio was disallowed too, but we had the unistd write, read and sizeof ahaha
That was a long road of a week but finally we did it :D2 -
So I've kicked off the motorcycle season for this year! Scanned some nice roads for speed control traps or road dirt, then the same route with more WABROOOOOO.
That machine is whopping 19 years old, and I still like it as much as on the first day when I bought it as new. Plus that it doesn't have software nonsense, not even injection. Means, it fucking works.
8 -
This is how you do UI/UX. Enter you postcode, road name and number and you have all possible adresses in this road to choose from. Best user experience ever
8 -
Well... I don't have recess in my work, but one of my clients went to the beach with his family. So that's the perfect excuse to travel with my wife and disconnect of everything.
Got to love that feeling!
1 -
Updated goal in regards to my road to machine learning mastery.
Status: new found motivation
Motivational case: bring humanity closer to having 2B become a real thing.
Reason: big booty droids should be a right to humanity.
End of transmission.
On another note, the sony xperia compact is a real nice device, so is the note 8. I would prob go with the note for power but the size of the xperia is more convenient for my taste.1 -
Learning to program in 21 days is very easy. Just like moving the clock hands. On a sun clock. Across the road. In Portuguese.1
-
wllcnbeofozbv3-#:(#:wiwjzvfoblaa!!! If someone says "I don't have Discord, I don't play games" once more - I will run them over with a road roller. 90% of servers I am a member of are either for some open source software, open source hardware or some other non-gaming related community so stop with that "But I'm not a gamer" bullshit!12
-
To all the people who don't know how to yield when merging on the highway...
To all the people who ride my ass when I am trying to pass a slower moving vehicles...
To all the people who try to pass on the right when I am trying to move back into the right lane so I don't break other peoples windshields with rocks by providing enough space...
To all the people who tailgate, then pass me almost causing a head-on, then 200ft later slow down and make me wait for you to turn...
FUCK YOU!5 -
It really grinds my gears if colleagues from non-technical departments attempt to use technical terms but use them wrong. It might be gatekeeping but please, use a technical term if you are confident you are using it correctly. Otherwise use layman's words. Using technical terms incorrectly sends our brains down the wrong road and we have to make a mental U turn. And you sound like a masterhacker from a TV show or movie.7
-
Nvidia might stop being a douchebag about Linux: https://developer.nvidia.com/blog/... Right now, that doesn't change much yet, but it opens a possible road.19
-
!rant
User: "Hello, I'd like to hear a torrent joke."
Tracker: "I will refer you to people who can tell you a torrent joke."
Peer 1: "Why d"
Peer 2: "cken "
Peer 3: "road?"
Peer 4: "id th"
Peer 3: "cross"
Peer 1: "e chi"
Peer 5: " the "
Peer 2: "the o"
Peer 4: "To ge"
Peer 1: "side."
Peer 5: "ther"
Peer 2: "t to " -
How do you tolerate a colleague who
- Fails to work as a team member, is inherently lazy and writes software that is simply horrendous
- Blatantly takes the easy road and even admits to it
- Has no sense of pride in the work they do
- Is your supervisor11 -
Finally fucking managed to setup quite fast map tile hosting including the tile generation after ages of research and trial and error.
I love this open (source) maps (openstreetmaps) project but man, figuring out what to do from a gazillion sources can be rather hard.
Now I'm just having some styling issues and the filesize is fucking insane (only the Netherlands with all data, 20gb+ if I remember correctly) so I'm just generating road maps for now. If someone knows some more about the styling as for the maps, please let me know!
Yeah, this is fucking satisfying.2 -
Resume says: Entry level marketing position for a leading company in *censored* industry.
Reality: I stand beside the road waving a 6 ft tall tall sign for a few hours a day while watching YouTube videos at the same time.1 -
Linus Torvalds on C++
“C++ leads to really really bad design choices. You invariably start using
the nice library features of the language like STL and Boost and other total and utter crap, that may help you program, but causes:
- infinite amounts of pain when they don't work (and anybody who tells me
that STL and especially Boost are stable and portable is just so full of BS that it's not even funny)
- inefficient abstracted programming models where two years down the road you notice that some abstraction wasn't very efficient, but now all your code depends on all the nice object models around it, and you cannot fix it without rewriting your app.”
http://harmful.cat-v.org/software/...3 -
I watched nvidia gtc keynote today. Most of stuff was about how amazing their gpu is and how much processing power we need, oh really?
Self driving cars are most idiotic way to implement rail way system on top of complicated road traffic system from last century.
The real problem is and always was problem of last mile. We don’t do shit about it, just trying to reinvent same stuff by complicating things.
I started wondering if it would be cheaper to just put small electric golf cars on railroads next to highway with automatic parkings next to cities. We could then slowly replace highways with railroads and even stack rails on top of each other.
You just drive to parking with golf cart and it hops you to railroad with auto chargers. Traffic is predictable so you know exact hour when you hop out and can drive last mile to target destination. So fucking simple yet we need fucking computer and tons of scientists to solve problems we created by bringing idiotic movies ideas to life.
Well most of stuff we try to automate is done so shitty way that it’s in fact complicate.
Fortunately it’s not my problem.18 -
Recruiter rant #2.
"Hi, am I speaking to xroad? I got a position with <company> and I think you might be interested in it."
"Is this in <city>?"
"Um, I'm not sure"
I was contacted about a dozen times for the same position the week before. I had to tell him where it's located.1 -
There are two types of eXtensible people
<UserInfo type="address">101 Terrace Road</UserInfo>
And
<Address>101 Terrace Road</Address>2 -
!dev
What kind of a motherfucking city is this! (Mumbai) Every fucking road has a shit ton of traffic and no one gives a shit about people walking nearby. An asshole drove over my foot while I was crossing the road, motherfucker. Traffic signals not working, no traffic constables to see anything. And people talk and keep telling this is the spirit of Mumbai. Shitty infrastructure is the spirit of Mumbai. Fuck everyone!6 -
Doing e-learning for a job
One of the examples provided:
"You could be late for work (fail to meet your objective of being on time) because you're hit by a car whilst crossing the road"
Are you fucking kidding me, I think being late to work would be the least of my worries. Fuck corporate bullshit.14 -
I just got ran off the road, in real life. My heart won't stop beating. Not a joke, or a funny story, I can't seem to relax.3
-
Why does google do this? It's supposed to be a map, not a fucking travel guide, I want to see the motherfucking map that it so ironically calls itself
Swallow a Collins road atlas whole you fucking impostor.
9 -
Hello everyone, first time ranter here! I have been studying Computer Science for 2 years starting September. The program introduced me to Java,HTML,CSS, JS and php. I feel like even though I am currently studying this I still do not "know" how to code. For example when I look at my classmates when they code it all seems so effortless and smooth, if they run into an issue they will usually solve it within the hour where as when I run into an issue I struggle to even see what the problem is. So the real point of this rant is, how do I improve? I am currently doing the #100daysofcode to get better but sometimes I feel so far away from calling myself a "developer" what is your road to the "developer" title? did you struggle as much as I am at the moment? or did you just sail into it like my classmates?14
-
Subaru's Symmetrical AWD is the best thing in the world at the moment. Also, warning: !dev
Tl;dr: I'm getting another RPi3 thanks to awesome engineering.
Got a couple of inches of light snow here, and on my way home I came across a GMC Sierra dually stuck at the bottom of a moderately sized ditch. Naturally, I stopped by in my Forester and offered to tow it out.
With my 20ft tow rope stretched to its full length I was barely touching the road. He signalled that he was ready, and I gunned it. Slowly but surely the truck crawled out of the 6ft deep trench. She crested the hill with much applause (from me and the driver of the truck). As a thanks, he gave me $30.
Looks like I'm gonna get a new Raspberry Pi to play with. I think I'll turn this one into a countertop MAME arcade machine.
And for those of you wondering why I'm praising Symmetrical AWD as opposed to AWD in general, here's a quick lesson in drivetrains:
Most all wheel drive cars power the front wheels most of the time. This saves on fuel economy. The thing is, power is only transmitted to the rear wheels when the front wheels start to lose traction. At that point you're already screwed; only two wheels at any one time are putting useful power to the road.
Symmetrical AWD systems, like you'll find in all Subarus and most performance cars, distribute the vehicle's torque eaqually front-rear at all times. So instead of waiting until the front wheels start slipping, all of the wheels are powered right off the bat.
To make this more devvy: grrrr php, vim is best, I configured the tab key to enter four spaces, js has too many damn frameworks and they're still being pumped out faster than rabbits in a bunny farm.3 -
!Dev
Fuck that day, honestly. Today during my driving lesson I was a witness of a car crash literally 5 meters in front of me (the older man cut the road of other guy, that other guy hit the old man's car and old man has hit the lamp post. Good thing no was injured, except of few bumpers, car doors and lamp).
The train which was supposed to take me back to Leiden was 10 minutes late, so I couldn't catch the earlier bus.
When I got off the train, went to catch a next bus, there was huge crowd outside, because police was taking care of the suspicious bag left in front of the train station (pic). Lots of cop, lots of people. Fortunately that wasn't a bomb.
The only positive thing was that I helped some nice Hindi guy find his bus 😁
25 -
in some parts of the world it is 28 already and it is my birthday. so age++
not mentioning it because of stress ball but because I need lot of best wishes as the road ahead is very difficult and dreams are very big.
thanks everyone here to make me feel home2 -
So yesterday ended with me becoming a first responder in front of my house. Talk about a crazy day.
Guy sped up down my very short dead-end road and flipped a school van down the embankment. Thankfully there were no kids in the van and the driver was okay.
I've never had to run into the scene of an accident before, and what the brain does in a time of crisis like that is absolutely amazing.
Feeling everything but the immediate need drain away. It was like time was slowed. I took in all the information of the scene and somehow worked fast while also double-checking every action I did.
I remember hesitating for a moment, worried about what I'd see. School students on the back. Would I see injured or dead children? Body parts? I remember saying "Fuck it" and running down the embankment and that was about it.
So serious props to any of you who read this that also volunteer as EMT or fire/rescue. I've long considered doing that myself and I may very well step up now that I've had first-hand experience.
And now for the requisite joke: Usually I only have to help out when Windows crashes. :)1 -
Why does this even exist??😢
Translation:
Knowing the road on the Internet with Internet Explorer 9.
5 -
1) Hike on mount everest
2) Job that I'll love
3) Go on road trip with my friends
4) Renovate home
5) Create my own operating system(not based on Linux kernel!)
Let's hope for the best!2 -
That job you thought you may not be a good fit, you end up at.
Sometimes as developers we doubt ourselves because we set higher bars for ourselves to learn more and try and build better solutions and share them with everyone.
You are almost as good as you need to be and you are going to be getting better, as long as you keep hitting the road towards your main goal.
But look at it this, isn't it the best of scientific communities?
Everyone is trying to improve and share more and make the ecosystem richer.
And open-source, fucking open-source, if there is a God, then he inspired the moral of open-source...
Anyway, congratulations for being among the best of scientific communities and damn I appreciate'yall!!1 -
Got fucking graduated, a whole day wasted, fucking ass hole literally trapped us cannot even got to release some water.
To get a fucking degree you have to bear with fucking teacher who don't shit about privacy, security.
And answering fucking theroy questions which has fucking string Match with the fucking textbook paragraph.
Do a fucking report which will be fucking 100 pages and take fucking 2 copy (10 rough copies)
The register to fucking leaky placement centre. Who leak you data to all hiring companies as well as your co-students.
Then fucking attend the fucking ass hole ceremony where some old guy lectures for fucking long time about some civil infrastructure , road and other stuff.
And I have not mentioned other fucking ass hole slutty stuff.i don't know fucking until what time I can hold on.
This Fucked the fuck out of me10 -
!dev
What the hell is wrong with bus drivers?! Our bus was just stopping, and the bus on the other side of the road couldn't care to wait 20 more seconds, so he drives away, fucking waving to our driver. What the hell man? Literally everyone coming with this bus takes it just to switch to your fucking bus you cunt!4 -
A few months a couple of my colleagues, a business consultant and a developer, worked on a big project. The project capsized because the client is an A-hole and the developer was way over his head.
To save the project I was brought on board. The entire code base was a fucking mess of duplicated code. Shortly after, the developer called in sick with stress, simply because the whole thing was too much.
Fast forward to now; we just launched. The client is expressing concerns about the quality of the work because of the bumpy road (rightly so). I try to explain why my way of doing things is better, but to "paint the picture" I had to compare my approach to my predecessor. This results in the business consultant shooting me down, right in front of the client.
I fucking saved your job, your project, and about $1M in profits. I'm allowed to tell the story of why my incompetent coworker messed everything up.
I'm so done walking on egg shells because some just don't realize they are not cut out for software development.2 -
I'm tired of "agile" development. Sure the concept of a hacky POC that gets thrown out for a real implemention sounds great. But it never gets thrown out. That shitty POC become the foundation for a horrible mangled mess of hacky improvement after improvement. I'm tired of my boss telling me "do it the easy quick way and fix it later", like fuck off no. I can save man weeks worth of bug hunting a year down the road by actually taking an extra day to do it right. Like fuck does no one care about quality engineering anymore?
Sometimes that extra day to write a general vs a specific implementation is worth it.5 -
I must use windows at work and after 5 years of using mac I can say that windows is fucking loud, fucking beeps everywhere. Like you fucking do anything that has no results it’s beep - that’s fucking crazy I feel like I’m on some fucking road with assholes all over the place beeping on me.
I can work in silence on my mac, no software beeps by default.
Fucking Hell how can you listen to beep all day ?18 -
I'm stuck in road traffic and it's giving me headache, i wish every driver knows at least FIFO rule, if it's on a computer the CPU will quit his job because of all those stupid processes :/
-
If you are in a team, take advantage of their expertise. Code review with them can also save some headaches later down the road.
-
Positive story ahead.
Had to try and make a new system on my own in a company with no tech staff. I was scared shitless of the responsibility. About a year later we got 2 new devs and people are somehow paying for our very flawed and incomplete mvp.
It's fulfilling and fun. Taking something from zero and suddenly having an actual application with customers.
The other 2 engineers are fun and we talk shit while coding and teaching each other. We also study new tech every day to keep getting better.
I'm even getting some stocks soon.
Long road ahead but honestly, life's good. -
Out of curiosity: how likely is your company to hire someone without a college degree?
Follow up, do you think not having a college degree would affect advancement down the road if a person does get hired in the first place?11 -
Just drove home after working late at the office. Was kind of in the zone and didn't wanna stop.
On my way I see the police closing the road in front of me, because of a pretty bad accident that happened a couple minutes ago.
MFW Coding saved my life! -
Meanwhile in Russia one of the most important banks and its online payment services failed for 6 hours because of the broken cable during road works1
-
BANGALORE JOKES by Bangalorean....
👉If you throw a stone randomly in Bangalore, chances are, it will hit a dog or a software engineer.
While the dog may or may not have a strap around his neck, the software engineer will definitely have one ! 😜
👉In India we drive on the left of the road.
In Bangalore, we drive on what is left of the road !😜
👉Q: What is the easiest way of causing traffic accidents in Bengaluru?
A: Follow the traffic rules !😜
👉A guy is hunting for a house in Bengaluru.
Meets old lady who is a potential landlord.
Conversation goes thus:
Old lady: "Where do you work, son?"
Guy: "I work in Infosys."
Old lady: "Oh, that bus company! Sorry, we rent only to good IT people!"
It appears that Infosys operates more buses than BMTC in Bangaluru!😜
👉Bengaluru, where PG (Paying Guest) is the first business and IT, the second.😜
👉When someone says it's raining in Bengaluru, be sure to ask them which area, which lane and which road!😜
👉If a Bengalurean stops at a traffic light, others behind him stop too because :
The others conclude that he has spotted a
policeman that they themselves have not!😜
👉Bengaluru is the only city where distance is measured in units of time.😜
👉Rickshaw driver, grocery seller and common shop keeper think that you earn atleast 1 lakh per month if you are in IT sector.😜
👉Out of every 100 software engineers in Bengaluru,
90 are utterly frustrated and the rest have a gf/bf !😜or they are married.
👉Bus drivers use horns instead of brakes !😜
👉I quote: Bengaluru:
The City where more people know Java than Kannada !
👉Universal answer in Bengaluru is
"Adjust maadi!"
😜😜😜
*Power cuts are the only time the whole family assembles together and members speak to each other.
Seeing this, BESCOM has decided to have a tagline called "Connecting people by disconnecting power"!6 -
My dad bought a book on introduction to Macromedia Flash.
I came for the animations, stayed for the coding. -
"yeah, we want bundled products in our store, but we don't want to fill them in like such. Instead, you have to look at the product attributes, their values added in which sub sub sub category they're stored to automagically make such combinations. Also: of these combinations (that have no actual entity in the database) we want to be able to save images, descriptions, related products, etc."
I managed to fix it, but more than 50% of the time spent on this project was to explain to the customer why their combination wasn't working (they misconfigured the products), and writing a whole testing interface that showed the inner working of the algorithm, so they could debug their own products...
The worst part: we advised from day 1 not to take this road, but they had one "developer" who insisted on this approach because it would "prevent pollution in the database". in the end, we had to add 50-100 product attributes/values just to get the damn thing to work. -
I just wasted 2 hours together with a colleague to trace a bug, through several modules, functions, data, etc to find out it was usage of the wrong information in the wrong place. The data used was never intended to be used this way.
I HATE SUCH SOFTWARE ARCHAELOGY.
Carefully uncovering layer over layer, getting one detail after another, from which you don't know if it's really necessary to trace the bug, until you lose the sight of the whole picture. Then when you're confused to the maximum, try to figure out what's important and what not and reassemble the puzzle until you can see where the road is heading.
At least we found the cause of the bug, so it wasn't useless. Now we have to waste more time to develop a solution (...preparing for next rant 🙇)3 -
This and Road Rash and Windows 95 and accidentally deleting the soundcard driver to make space for Rollercoaster Tycoon.
1 -
Do you think the keywords used by git (or other version control systems) are intuitive?
I'm talking to a very junior dev about git and I find myself having to explain around the fact that I don't feel the keywords are great. They are asking good questions like
* Why do you say "push the commit" but then say "make a pull request" - when I want to push why isn't it called a "push request"
* "Why are the metaphors sometimes related to trees (branches), sometimes roads (forks) but you still call it "master" instead of tree trunk or main road?
* Why do you call it "commit", what kind of commitment am I making?16 -
How do you prove yourself?
I'm an iOS developer and I've been developing apps for a year or two now and I don't see anything hard in it I just think it's knowing how to wire things up and avoid common bugs I've also worked on a couple of complex apps and the idea is just the same.
I want to know if I really want to prove myself well (to myself) how can I do that and how can I challenge myself more to improve.
Ps: I'm by no way an expert and I know I've got a big road ahead of me but I just want advise to improve more in the right direction5 -
I had road repairs started under my apartment last year, during first lockdown. They lasted for 7 months4
-
!dev
I just had one of the worst Uber trips ever.
The guy is literally the definition of learning on the job except that the job here is driving people and he doesn't seem to learn shit!!
He opened Google Maps on his phone but never looked at it. I was directing him all the way. He randomly stopped the car completely a few times in the middle of the fucking highway!! He doesn't look at the side mirrors, he actually tilts his head left and right to check for other cars!! I'm glad I finally got to my destination in one piece.
The funny thing is that he was ranting on how bad the road is and how unreliable the GPS is. Is that how we look when we rant about clients? xD3 -
*euro-based rant incoming*
"left or right? left or right?!"
DUDE! I'M RIDING A SMALL MOUNTAIN BIKE WITH A FUCKING HEAVY TRAILER OF GROCERIES AND YOU ARE IN A FUCKING E-BIKE!!! SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GO AROUND ME PUSSY!!!! I'M NOT GOING TO GRIND UP AGAINST THE SIDEWALK WITH MY TRAILER.... BECAUSE ITS A FUCKING TRAILER, AND ITS FULL OF FUCKING GROCERIES!!!!!!
god, fucking boomers... i swear to god if i get one more rube talking to me while i'm biking and saying i should "stay to the right" when EVERY time i'm CLEARLY right of the middle of the road, i'm going to start yelling back rude comments and put the fucking low IQ assholes in their place... (probably what I should have done from the first place. why are we to take shit from them, when they own 75% of the wealth but are 25% of the population.) absolute fuck sticks get the fuck off my road, go ride off a cliff5 -
Going on a road trip and brought my laptop with me, I’m gonna take a small break from my project and test some stuff and learn some libraries, also gonna sit outside and just enjoy everything.2
-
I was waiting for my wife in the shopping centre and noticed a shop sellung e-scooters. My my, what monsters can you buy with a few k€ :o I'm genuinely surprised!
The baddest monster: 3k: dual-notor, can carry >150kg of your fat ass. Takes ~12hours to charge, but, read this: with a single charge you can travel 150km! Max speed is 90km/h
i mean... I'm feeling quite confident riding a motorcycle at that speed, because I can bend down, because it weights a few hundred kilos and is not that sensitive to wind and road bumps.
But riding standing at that speed... Without any cover, with a vehicle weighting 50kg,.. Would you?12 -
developing Android application for reporting Road events....
I was late to submit an update consisting of the Users Report History with options to view, delete and Re-report(which didn't make sense since it's reported already).....
I had to put a Toast to thank user for reporting but literally nothing is sent to server -
Winter is coming so I got that stupid idea just now.
Let’s make and wear big winter hats with road signs on it to see how self driving cars would react to this 🤣🤣🤣8 -
Is it just me or are the people most upset about the iPhone 7 the same ones who'd never buy an Apple product anyway?5
-
!rant
Me, reading the GPS for upcoming obstructions: “Man, I really gotta learn the different road signs. Because I’m 99% sure that’s not telling us there’s a man digging his own grave up ahead.”
“That’s roadwork, Amy.”3 -
Have my projects compile without a single warning.
The road will be long, and deprecation warnings will pounce at me, but I shall prevail. -
So, my job title is sql Developer, but recently I’ve been balls deep in A .Net application, not an issue, but there is a huge learning curve.
Anyway, earlier in the year I spent about 2-3 months manually entering price list and exchange rates into our ERP system. I proposed an app to help make this process easier, boss was happy so I knocked up a 20+ page software design document, covered everything, and laid out a road map I.e v1 would just be MVP, and additional nice to have features would be added incrementally.
Boss didn’t read the document, and didn’t mention it again.
5 months later I get an invite to a meeting to discuss my progress, which is this afternoon.
It was always going to be something I worked on in my spare time, so I currently have 5 models to show her.
Why not mention something for months and then ask for a progress update out of the blue?
My boss isn’t a dev so will just bury them in technical details which she doesn’t really need to know1 -
So I am driving home and stop at a light. Some dude in a truck behind me starts flipping me off at the light. The road is 45mph and 2 lanes. I am in the right lane. So when the light changes I speed up to 35mph so he can pass me. He decides to tailgate me and honk at me. So I stay steady and he eventually goes around me. I keep my distance. But it looks like he is going to the same place as me. Before I get to the road I want to park for my destination he takes the same road and parks his truck and trailer where I normally park facing the wrong direction. Okay, wtf, but okay. So I go further down the road to turn around and park somewhere else. He guns his truck to cut me off from that parking spot. I have to hit my brakes to prevent hitting him. I raise my hands in the are like "why?" I then finish turning around and head back to my parking spot and park. So this guy tried to cause a car accident. At this point I took my stuff inside and put it away. Came back out and called the police to report the incident. They said they cannot identify a crime, but I can fill out a police report. While I am on the phone with the police this guy leaves that street giving me this bizarre deranged smile. I refuse to engage. I spent the next hour filling out the police report. In the process I find out he lives on that street a few houses down. I am nowhere near his house, but he seems to not like me parking on that street. This guy must have seen my car on that street before and decides to randomly road rage. I gave his name and address to the police. My intent to build a case file if he doesn't knock this shit off.
So now I gotta buy a fucking dash cam and put it in my car because of some nutjob plumber. I have nothing against plumbers, but this guy fits the definition of knuckle dragger. His name isn't even Mario or Luigi, bummer.
Another thing that might be related is that during the winter somebody dumped a ton of snow onto my car when it was parked there. It looked like it was on purpose. If this is the same guy this guy drove his snow plow 4 houses down. Definitely has mental problems.10 -
Fuck the Fourth of July.
I was already feeling pretty unpatriotic after all the terrible things the USA has been doing lately, and then to top it all off, they closed down almost every street within a one-mile radius of my apartment just because I happen to live near the place where they're shooting off fireworks. I spent the evening with my girlfriend, enjoying a nice dinner and sort of forgetting it was even really a holiday, then got in my car at 9:00 expecting to be home by 9:30. Nope. I spent over an hour driving in a huge circle around my apartment, searching for even one single road that the police hadn't closed to traffic. Finally managed to get into the area on a back road and get home, but it took so long that I went through all five stages of grief before I got home at 11:00.
They also closed the nearest bridge across the river so I couldn't go shopping for groceries today, either. My pantry is almost completely empty. At least I'm working from home tomorrow so I'll have time to buy food then.8 -
Coolest bug is less of a bug and more of a feature. I've been working on a medical app and I used an open source backend which had almost everything I needed. To be hipaa compliant you have to encrypt all sensitive data - full db encryption was not something this backend was capable of.
So my solution was to encrypt the data on the client side and create a secondary server - that can only be accessed on my app server - to store and retrieve the keys.
If anyone's thinking of working on a HIPAA project - you're welcome -
I hate leaving work late, stuck on a bug and 10 miles down the road heading home, figure out a solution and then argue with myself do I go back and fix it now with no distractions or write it down ... then in the morning I’ll do it but bear with distractions... or not write it down .. hope I remember and then do it in the morning
But I’ll probably get distracted.: forget .. then remember after everyone leaves and implement it tomorrow night .. lol3 -
Well here it goes,
I started out in customer support (A lot of stuff to tell here).
1.
One of my colleagues would come to work drunk, like every day he would smell of boze (the hard stuff 80%+). When a customer got on his nerves he endet the call and threw his Keyboard across the room. He worked in the company 3+ Years after I left.
2. Another colleague would connect to his Personal Computer at his home and play WoW while at work ( Allthough the man was a genius with a lot of free time, until a new task was assigned to him)
3. My Boss at the time did some really shitty things. I worked 17 hour days (while I was 18) for a week, and at the end of the week he shredded the accrued overtime with some Bullshit Explanation. (I did not stay long after this shitshow happened).
4. A dispatcher who sent our technicians out scheduled their tasks so that they were on the road for weeks and did not see their families. This led to a very strong turnover among technicians.
And yes, this company still operates today.1 -
Today i saw someone complaining that you have to edit a config file on ubuntu to change the behaviour of the laptop when you close the lid, which in my opinion is simple enough.
But what triggered me was another argument saying that how it would be if cars will require a mechanics degree to drive them.
Well maybe then there won't be so many fucking idiots on the road blocking the traffic in almost every fucking city bigger than a peanut plantation.
I swear, people believe they deserve to use the best things without a single clue about how they work.5 -
Believe it or not, I actually had a great day of development today and don't feel the need to rant about anything!
It was one of those rare days when everything went well, and instead of running into road blocks, you actually learn about things that open new doorways, and the one thing I did struggle with received an answer on Stack Overflow within minutes that was both exactly what I was hoping for and as a bonus, not even condescending.
Dang, dev doesn't get much better than this! ☺️ -
Question time:
What's the general opinion around here on Authy for 2FA?
I've been down the road of phone wipes and phone swaps before that blow out the Google Auth codes which is nothing but a royal pain in the ass to get access back to all the accounts setup.
Authy having encrypted backups gives me some level of belief they can do what I want them to do, but I figured I would ask around before transferring over since... well that's a pain in the ass too 😂15 -
FUCK CUSTOMER SUPPORT
I live next to a province road so for things like internet more parties are involved then on a usual neighborhood street. 5 years ago I was asking about fibre internet since every household in a 8km area from my house has a fiber connect (except those next to a province road). They told me to contact them if a road construction would happen so they could do it simultaneously.
Today I thought lets contact them again since a complete road overhaul is gonna take place in the coming 6 months. They said that I've to contact them before those plans are made public otherwise they cannot jump in and do their work as well.
How would I inform a company of plans that are not public so I don't know about?1 -
Management: let's be agile... we can all meet and discuss a project that will take more than likely 6 - 12 months but you guys can estimate and create a road map....
Engineer: I'm not sure you understand agile3 -
wk8 responses so far have been WEAK.
Most of them follow the format:
I did <some minor mistake> but fortunately I was able to <make a quick fix> within <short period of time> so everything turned out ok.
Come on guys, where are the REAL fuck ups? The ones that got you fired/permanently banned from the company?4 -
This is an old one that I have hacked about to make it fit, so I hope it still works..
There were a business user, a B.A. and a developer on a road trip in the UK when they crossed the border into Wales. (This was antevirum, so that kind of behaviour was allowed back then).
They saw a sheep on a mountainside.
The business user cried out "Look! All the sheep in Wales are black!"
The B.A. tutted and said "Actually, all we can say is that there is at least one sheep in Wales and it is black down one side."
The developer woke up from nursing his hangover in the back seat, peered out of the window and said "How do you know its a sheep?" -
!dev
Everybody keeps telling me that public transport is better than driving a car. So SBB (rail company) is doing some constuction on a station and i have to take a rail replacement bus. Which is now stuck in traffic.
So like an overly full bus with the heating stuck to max is just creeping along the road. Past a single station that is on repair!
Fuck it im going by car to school even if parking is expensive af!12 -
My road trip still lasts for another 5 hours and my laptop does not have power anymore 😧😧😧
I could refactor or comment so much code. Maybe add even more loggings and unit tests, but noooo 😔4 -
Sophomore here. For a long time this has been bugging me. I'm very skeptical about what I'm learning and what I plan to learn. Just doubting myself and feeling like a loser. So today i wanna ask, what was the road you took to be where you are now? I wanna know details
Did u exceed ur expectations and do u think if u knew what u know now, u cud've done a lot better and taken a diff route?
I'm asking this cuz i wanna set a baseline of skills to attain by the time i graduate. Been researching and the amount of things u can learn is very intimidating to me11 -
Had a fun adventure this morning. Had to deliver some bags to some houses. Entered the addresses in Google Maps. Off we go. First house, no problem. Second house, and Google is taking me on a weird route, through some parking lots and stuff. Finally, it wants me to turn onto a bike trail. WTF? My Google maps is set for bike routes. Went a lot faster when I set it to car. No wonder there were so many bikes and the road seemed so narrow.1
-
I've learned webpack over the past years. It was a tough road.
Then I tried parcel....
.... I hope I'll work on a big project someday, to actually use my hard earned webpack skills again. -
I asked a senior PM once if software developers were the hardest to work with. He said no, road construction teams are worse.3
-
PC Trivia-
1. What does a baby computer call his father?
Data
2. What do you call a computer superhero?
A Screen Saver
3. Why did the computer cross the road?
To get a byte to eat
4. Why did the computer get glasses?
To improve its websight
5. Why did the computer sneeze?
It had a virus
6. Where do computers go to dance?
The disk-o
7. Why did the computer squeak?
Because someone stepped on its mouse
8. What happened when the computer geeks met?
It was love at first site
9. What is an alien’s favorite place on a computer?
The space bar
10. What’s the best way to learn about computers?
Bit by bit
3 -
I just road about 400km in a 150cc motorbike between yesterday and today to pick my notebook from the assistance shop. Oh my god, feels good to be home. Now with my baby boy recovered :)2
-
I got accepted into the University of Washington BS Computer Science & Software Engineering program today! It's been a long road since starting ITT Tech 3 years agofor a BAS in SDEV, it closing on me, starting all the way over at community college, maintaining a 4.0, and now a bootcamper at Coding Dojo. Now only at least 2 more years to go! 😁🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃😩1
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A recruiter set me up with an interview for a company I really liked and I thought it went pretty well. But I tried following up with him and he refuses to answer my 3 emails or pick up my calls. It's fine if I didn't get the job but this is the first time a recruiter just completely ignores me without giving me any feedback. Has this even happened to anyone and how do I deal with this?5
-
Was driving home last night when I noticed that my car was slowly drifting side to side. It felt weird like when a tire is low/flat. So I gradually slowed down from 50mph to 40mph. Note, I did this carefully and slowly. My antilock brakes kicked in. Like holy hell how slick does a road have to be for a small deceleration like that to kick in antilocks?
So it made me think of a math question:
If a typically sized sedan (weighing 2 tons) decelerates from 50mph to 40mph and the antilock brakes kick in, what it the frictional coefficient of the surface of the road? Also assuming typical non-bald all season tires.
Multiple choice:
a) slick
b) really slick
c) REALLY FUCKING SLICK!7 -
Anyone into road bikes? What’s your ride?
My last ride was a custom-built Mayak fixed gear. Couple of facts about the geometry and the bike as a whole:
1. Even on 165mm cranks, the crank overlapped with the front wheel not by the pedal, but by the crank itself. Because it was a fixie, turning at a wrong moment could send you flying.
2. The stiffness was immeasurable. We’re talking Joe Biden at a kindergarten levels of stiff.
3. It was a rocket. You hop in, make two turns and boom, you’re half way across the street. When we raced with road bikes on urban endurance courses, they were WASTED by the end? Me though? Barely sweating.
This bike was a great metaphor for my personality. Awkward, unforgiving, rigid, chaotic, over the top, difficult, yet brilliant in a very narrow range of specific tasks. A true glass cannon.
9 -
I recently got a job interview and i am finally working as a junior consultant!
The most exciting thing is the fact that I am still studying Informatic Engineering .
I have still a long road to walk since I am still on the second year of a three years course. But finally I feel that my knowledge is being appreciated and I can use that in order to help a company.
If any experts in this area could give me advice, I am going forward to read them. I am new to devRant too !4 -
Unstableness of core technology stack. The more developers are there, the more complicated architecture they create that often doesn’t give any significant value besides what if something goes wrong ?
What if you make mistake ?
What if power goes down ?
I feel I am last optimistic thinking software developer on this planet.
I feel that those tools just try to give some sort of power to the management over developer free mind.
Creatures like multicloud, cloud, k8s I feel that it’s just beginning not the end of road. And this beginning is a wrong turn.
It’s just another vendor lock in.
But I might be wrong.3 -
I don’t need any awards.
Garbage fundraisers was getting awards. The self-filling water bottle that will never work, the solar road that takes hundreds of years to break even, the “one breath to death” so-called scuba device. Elizabeth Holmes also got awards.
Leave them to yourselves. -
I'm on a long road trip with family, and if it weren't for my laptop and devRant I'm positive I'd go insane.
-
The older I get the more vindictive and intolerant of other people I get. Especially on the road. My passive aggressiveness is off the charts. Tailgaters piss me off the most. They can rot in hell. If you tailgate me I am going to take longer to pass. If you don't, I will speed up a bit and attempt to get out of the way faster. It is petty, but I am fucking done with these pieces of trash. Fuck you and the shit hole you came out of.
I have also found that smiling at the other driver is the worst thing you can possibly do to them. They can't say anything because you didn't flip them off.26 -
During the course of my career I've stumbled on like 6-7 people I've worked with and it was really great. Every now and then we meet up and chat how it'd be great to form a team again and work on something (we're all in different companies atm).
Lately we've been mentioning that even more and are considering whether to start working on a product/find clients and form an agency/join some other company.
We have experience with both outsource and products. Our profiles range from development, design, marketing, UX, HR, PM.
Any road we take has pros and cons. We're least fit to start on a product because we'd need more profiles, have to figure out finance and would probably have to work alongside our current jobs.
I've been thinking of writing a joint letter when I hear a company is opening up an office in our city. When that happens, usually whole teams are formed and most of the profiles I mentioned are needed.
Do you think that's even possible? Is there another way we're overseeing? Have you heard of or attempted something similar?
Any advice is truly appreciated.2 -
Yay my first day back and I'm 1 hour and 15 minutes late because the main road I take into work was a parking lot. And then I have to go directly into the world's longest meeting. And I have a peer review to do so I guess no dev soon for me today.
-
"I want to create an app that rates other people. That way law enforcement officials know whether or not to trust them"2
-
Fun fact: Busses in our town... or is it a city now? Haven't checked the population count in a while... anyway, they've got some... what would you call it... double-sided weird thing with monitors inside hanging from the ceiling and they are supposed to be used to play ads but only thing that airs there are videos from RedBull TV and an occasional "ad" reminding everyone who's paying for some fancy new buildings in the city(the EU), now that would be fine... But why the heck does the PC that runs them reboot every time the bus hits a bump or a pothole in the road and most of all why does it run a full-blown Ubuntu 10.04?!! I mean it's still better than running Windows but just why... why are they even using PCs... A Raspberry Pi would be more than enough for the job...4
-
!rant
Well kinda, more like first world problems.
I started freelancing almost three years ago, it took a lot of hard work, sweat blood and tears to get this whole thing running.
I am currently in a very good place, have a lot of retainer contracts and the awesome freedom that comes with being a freelancer.
Two days ago I got an offer from one of my clients, they really want to have me on board, full time, it's a small, already established startup company, that has big clients, they want me to go into partnership with them, see still haven't talked numbers but they are very "generous".
the idea is to get me ASAP full time on board and start working on a partnership contract specifying all the small details.
I love being a freelancer, the freedom is amazing, client acquisition is Eons away from being a problem, but I miss the team work, and I miss working on products and building teams, freelancers are kind of a lone wolves.
I love working with these clients, there is a lot of mutual respect, they are very transparent and we really are on the same wave.
This could be an amazing opportunity for the next steps in my carrier.
I'm having a hard time making a decision, I'm basically changing my mind about it every two hours...
I mean I guess I'm planning to open my own company at some point anyways... so maybe going into a small but stable company is the way to go..
What would you do?
Would you take the offer? Or would you keep freelancing?11 -
I gained 10kg from eating shitting and writing code.
Time to move on or I will die with head in my keyboard.
I was planning to buy a water rover so I don’t have to get out from home during winter but well I don’t know. The gym is across the road and to get a decent water rover I need to spend 3 years of gym. I can’t decide if gym is better than exercise at home. You have greater accessibility to the training device at home.
What you think ?
Should I buy a water rover or go to gym ?9 -
Just realised that there is a dual monitor setup for the devRant profile. Also realised that is 5k ++, as well as that I won't have it for a while 😅2
-
I think someday, I'd like to make an app that can somehow punish asshole drivers. I want this app to severely discourage douchebaggery on the road. Not sure how I can make that happen, but it needs to happen.3
-
Oh, here's an environment variable that needs to be set in order to work, not mentioned at all in the documentation, only found when your CI/CD fails, blah blah blah i'm an ignorant human who doesn't give a shit enough or have enough pride in my job to write proper documentation
meanwhile managers and "product types" - we don't care about documentation, just being faster and that newest AI blockchain chatbot that we need now even though we don't understand the first damn thing about it, slop slop barf barf
Source, not a small at all org: it's the docker orb: https://circleci.com/developer/...
You need to set the docker password as an environment variable, its not just an amazing 3 step magic wand as the 'steps' suggest
yawn
but you know what? waste my time, as well as all the other developers down the road, that's just how it is these days you know2 -
Brain of a normal person is like an SUV — versatile, robust, occasionally kinda fast, needs minimal maintenance.
Brain of a bipolar person is like a supercar — needs a lot of maintenance, can't go off-road, can only drive on a perfect track without destroying itself, only takes special, expensive kind of fuel, can't drive in the winter.
Yes, you boubas can perform better when I'm depressed. But when I'm manic, your skill and your experience don't matter. I'm gonna tear you apart. I'm not gonna take your job — I'll take your bosses and will replace you with a script I wrote in 20 minutes. I'll again spend three hours and take Product of the Day. I'll again take the CTO job without even applying.
Mania is like taking quad damage AND god mode.
But in two weeks, I'll be depressed again. sleeping for 13 hours and not able to work.
Too bad mania is temporary, but achievements are forever. Good luck1 -
Semi-remote job, sometime i need to meet people to make sure im not work with bot. Want to remote job because i wany to avoid crazy traffic jam, flood, ugly road and crazy driver every day. But still got full of payment like other who have fulltime on office.6
-
Making some changes to a Blue Prism process I have never seen before
Q: Can we test these changes before going live?
A: No. We are going to pinpoint the problems on the road
Q: Nasty. However we can retry the process if anything goes wrong
A: No. It runs 5:00 to 17:00
Q: Wait, so I have one shot at making this shit work and it's tomorrow?
A: Yes
Yesterday at 2:00 I noticed 2 of the 3 machines are dead, now the process is self destructing every 5 minutes and my mentor, who usually spend weeks without answering phone calls, apparently learned again how do smartphones work 'cause this time he did fucking call.2 -
As an emerging Android developer, I must say I HATE SQLITE AND CONTENT PROVIDERS!! So much code for such little functionality! Pro Android devs, does the process get any less tedious down the road with more experience?6
-
Deadlines and commitments at a startup company are similar to when Road Runner chases Coyote off a cliff , and he suddenly realizes there is no longer a cliff below him to stand on. Frantically, he tries to build one before he falls. He still falls, but in our startup we somehow magically walk on air everyday.1
-
I was thinking by now if they weren't trying to justify raping everyone's bank account wouldn't all the fucking motels be paid off ? They were only built in the 1970s
If they're trying to imprison garbage put them in prison but speaking for the people who were not selling their own ass or anyone else's this artificial inflation and scarcity has been fucking things up forever
The Hilton should cost 74 bucks maybe 100 depending on which one
A fucking econolodge like 50 and it should be fucking clean
The way they slave drive people who work for hotels and resorts they're not paying much to clean a fucking room and do some laundry and the idea is to encourage people to stay
Not encourage enabled child molesters to take up residence like t Hampton down the road1 -
Current design philosophy is that the user should be presented with fewer options, fewer ways to do things. Users shouldn't be empowered to created what they want, but should be "guided" into building what we (software designers) think they should have. That is almost verbatim from our company's product and C level officers and is echoed without deviation by product owners and strategists in our company. Holy crap what a bunch of presumptuous, arrogant, idiots. That holier than thou attitude promotes disdain for the customer: "the customer doesn't know better, so let's prevent them from doing it any way but X." The focus is entirely on what's easier for us, not what helps the user solve their problems. That's not a service oriented anymore, that just a bunch of pretentious dickheads that are on the road to losing customers.4
-
(Time to actually code feature + time to debug it + time for unit tests to pass/add) * 1.5
Works great in my case unless there are some big major road blocks -
Fuck... What am i doing with my life... 3years of college down the road learning android and nothing else, currently neither fully graduate nor employed. Can't make an app bigger or more useful than a fucking todo, can't use my skills to earn, Currently earning not even a penny, parents fighting everyday, struggling to make a living , am a fucking waste :'/
Those open sourcing assholes have awesome apps that i want to read, understand and fix their code, but they aren't gonna pay me shit. Plus they were the ones to have the guts to make full scale apps and open sourcing them, i can't make shit without giving them a month. How am i gonna survive 😔3 -
Any native iOS devs want to help me finish my app? It's a medical app and I estimate that I'm at least 70% done with it. But I guess since I'm supposed to be posting a rant WHY CAN'T I FIND ANYONE TO HELP ME?!4
-
When you're getting roasted and given tasks of fixing and changing some code you didn't write trying to get a PR in, and the person you paired with who wrote it has moved on to other work.
Moreover you'll be stuck taking the blame down the road if they don't fire you, as the policy is to rebase squash merged in PR's so it will all unfortunately be under your name.1 -
Finally finished my exams! Went well, thankfully. I'm just glad I don't have to worry about school for the next three months! :D
Do you guys have any summer projects you're planning on? I'm hoping to get Arch installed on my PC at some point soon. Getting sick of Windows 10. I'll probably be working part time as well, which will be good for money. Might even take a road trip if I get lucky. :) -
As a normal developer, I ignored the warning symbols google maps gave me and kept going the route only to realize late later that warning symbol must have said "toll road". Luckily I did have cash LOL1
-
With all these wk18 responses about push backs from parents - had they never heard of Bill Gates or Steve Jobs? Especially the ones who don't think it's a real job or there's no money in it?1
-
For Software consultants.
I am newbie with 2 years of development experience. What should be my road map for being an independent software consultant in the long run.2 -
Sitting beside a road at 22:00 because you are afraid to go back nor meet with anyone nor do anything.
Things are not very well. -
Guys,
is it possible to protect a folder against the command sudo rm -rf
Consider the root a drunk person on a high speed road9 -
A mechanical engineer, a computer scientists and a business owner go for a drive and the breaks go out. The driver struggles with the handbrake, but eventually brings the car to a stop. The business owner knows a guy who owns a tow truck who can get them back on the road in no time. The engineer says, "Let me take a look at it first. Let's see what the problem is." The Computer Scientists says, "It was probably a fluke. Let's just get in and see if it happens again."
-
All i wanted was a toolbaritem which i can hide depending on a propery in my viewmodel (xamarin forms). that shithead does not have a damn IsVisible property so i had to make some custom shit for this. Result is that my page does not load anymore. no fucking error visible in output window.
could not resolve a bug in time as i have to pick up my girlfriend and do some social shit.
now i am on the road. all i can think of is getting back to my pc and fix this. -
The time when you code,
Or you build a road,
Waiting for file to download...
Debugging like a horse,
Watching every course,
And suddenly the alarm rings,
And your mind dings,
You have to study now. -
What it's like to be a network
engineer...translated into normal people speak
User: I think we are having a major road issue,
Me: What? No, I just checked, the roads are
fine. I was actually just on the roads.
User: No, I'm pretty sure the roads are down
because I'm not getting pizzas.
Me: Everything else on the roads is fine. What
do you mean you aren't getting pizzas?
User: I used to get pizzas when I ordered
them, now I'm not getting them. It has to be a
road issue.
Me: As I said, the roads are fine. Where are
you getting pizzas from?
User: I'm not really sure. Can you check all
places that deliver pizzas?
Me: No I don't even know all the places that
deliver pizza. You need to narrow it down.
User: I think it is Subway.
Me: Okay, I'll check...No, I just looked and
Subway doesn't deliver pizzas.
User: I'm pretty sure it is Subway. Can you just
allow all food from Subway and we can see if
pizza shows up?
Me: Sigh, fine I've allowed all food from
Subway, but I don't think that is the issue.
Usher: Yeah I'm still not getting pizza. Can you
check the roads?
Me: It's not the roads, the roads are fine. I'm
pretty sure Subway isn't the place.
User: Okay, I found it. It's Papa Johns.
Me: Okay, I looked and Papa Johns does
deliver pizza. Is it the local Papa Johns or one
in a different town?
User: I don't know. Can you allow pizza from
all Papa Johns to me?
Me: No I can't do that. Can you get me an
address for Papa Johns?
User: No, I only know it as Papa Johns. Can
you get me all the addresses of all Papa Johns
and I'll tell you if one of them is correct?
Me: No, I don't have time for that. Okay, I
looked at the local one and it looks like they
have sent you pizza in the past and they are
currently allowed to send you pizzas. Try
ordering a pizza while I watch.
Usher: Yeah still no pizza. I'm guessing they
are getting blocked at the freeway. Can you
check the freeway to make sure they can get
through?
Me: No, this is a local delivery. They aren't
even using the freeway.
User: Okay, well then it has to be a road issue,
Me: No, the roads are fine. Okay, I just drove
from the Papa Johns to the address they have
on file for you and there is nothing there.
User: Hmm, wait we did move recently.
Me: Did you give your new address to Papa,
Johns?
User: No, I just thought they would be able to
look me up by name.
Me: No they need your new address. What's
your new address?
User: I'm not really sure. Can you look it up?
Me: Sigh, give me a second...Okay, I found
your address and gave it to Papa Johns. Try
ordering a pizza now.
User: HEY! PIZZA JUST SHOWED UP!
Me: Okay, good.
User: (To everyone else they know) I apologize
for the delay in the pizza but there was a major
road issue that was preventing the pizza from
getting to me. The network engineer has fixed
the roads and we are able to get pizza again.
Me: But it wasn't the roads...whatever.
User: Oh, can you also check on an issue
where Chinese food isn't getting to me? think
it may be a road issue5 -
That all too familiar cross road, I have an evening to code, I have some key features of a large (work related) project to carry on with but I also have more side projects than I can possibly complete.
Side project or work project? I seem to find myself here most evenings.1 -
Haproxy.
Backlog.
30_000.
Nooooo.... Why on earth do you do that.
And yeah....
Looking at the sysctl settings someone took a road trip to Google and stackoverflow and just copy pasted every mother fucking stupid bullshit bingo inside it.
Half of this doesn't apply as the kernel version doesn't even support it anymore (for good reasons) or makes sense as these settings have NOTHING not even REMOTELY to do with the servers hw setup.
If you have no fucking clue what you do, ram the keyboard up your arse till you enjoy it.
But stay the fuck away from administration and the fuck away from anything that carries responsibilities.
Joyful task today: unclogging old failing Haproxy setups while being busy with 3 other tasks.
And if you wanna know why they're failing and it needed to happen today... Weeeell....
They restarted. And today they decided to restart so fast people finally noticed it.
Cause yeah. They did that the last fucking years every few hours. Now every 5 minutes.
:@ :@ :@ :@ :@ :@ -
I feel like I mostly know programming. I wasn't fed HTML and bash commands mixed in with my mother's milk as a child. In fact I didn't know very much at all about computers before my computer science degree, other than what's to be expected from someone in his 20's.
On the endless journey of knowledge most of the road is ahed of me.3 -
Anyone here implemented an oauth2 server in python?
I've been researching it for a fair bit, and it just seems like a giant swamp that I'd rather stay away from (ex: https://hueniverse.com/oauth-2-0-an...)
It also feels needlessly work intensive and (at least on the server side), underdocumented.
I'll probably be making my own custom solution.
Thoughts? -
So, I have been offered two jobs at the same company (big, global corp)
1. RPA coordinator or operator or business analyst. Completely new to me, they're happy with my background enough so that I could learn on the job. RPA is new in this place and they're creating team from scratch.
2. Member of IT security team where most of my work would be split between things that interest me greatly - vulnerabilities, fixing them and pen testing.
I'm not sure what to pick, really.
Option 1 seems to be way more future proof and seems like a lifetime opportunity to get into something relatively new, potentially more ££ down the road.
Option 2 is what I already spent some time learning and I have quite a big interest in. I've always been less of a programmer and more of an admin/sec guy.
Tbh before option 1 called me yesterday I thought that option 2 is a dream job for me. Now I'm all in doubt.12 -
Company shutting down has its perks : after going to the bar with colleagues, ended up doing an after party with HR in the office, drinking cherry flavoured vodka
Tomorrow morning is going to hit as hard as a fucking truck, poor me being the rabbit caught in the lights in the middle of the road.. -
Our lead dev has convinced the board to move the new software suite forward into .Net Core 3. Much of his reasoning is sound, a mainstay of which is the cost and ease of hiring developers to actually make and maintain it.
My own roadmap with the company focuses around one of these products, so I am to become the core developer and maintainer. Given thats the case, given that my primary skill is with Javascript/Node and given that we have deadlines, I am going to make the case today that this product might be better built in Node.
We are going for a microservices architecture. Combined with Typescript for type safety as the code base gets bigger, I am not sure I can think of many real advantages to choosing .NET instead. It will benefit from its async I/O later too, as the plan is to build in API driven dynamic UI down the road.
He is a fierce man, and I am the junior. Wish me luck.7 -
fuck
I'm doing this side job for a Canadian dude and he wants me to open a Wise bank account, I've never even heard of it and, obviously, no non-life-changing-dough justifies such a thing. For some wtv the fuck reason - I don't get it, honestly - the motherfucker doesn't wanna do PayPal
So... enlighten me, PLEASE, what are people rolling with these days besides PayPal?
Also, I'm pretty sure this motherfucker is putting bumps on the road expecting me to wave on it10 -
What are your opinions of single file components in Vue? Will it actually help maintainability down the road for our codebase? Or do you think it’s better to separate the .js, .sass, and .vue?9
-
Can't help but feel a bit guilty because I have other stuff I should probably be attending to, but I think my site could use a good update; it's been (I believe) a year, and I had a few ideas on ways to improve the look and effectiveness of it.
I have other projects I must attend to as well if I plan on making any real money, but I think I deserve to spoil myself bit by bit over the next couple of days. I want to make things more programmatic for the sake of easier updates in the future and to show off to potential employers a bit more.
Wish me luck guys😀 -
Oneplus 5 suffers from battery drain with OOS 4.5.8.
Reverted to OOS 4.5.6, gaining better battery life, but a WiFi drain is still here and although I get through the day and more, it bugs me a lot.
Today I woke up thinking about updating to 4.5.8 again just because I'm an update maniac.
Gosh why can't I leave it alone?
(I have considered modding but for now I don't really want to go back on that road again because of laziness)1 -
This should sound like a no-brainer but I need some opinions. Is it worth it to use a pi-top instead of buying a laptop? For programming on the road, i'll just squeeze in a commit while traveling, ill just code instead of talk to my uncle in this reunion, quick commit while le gf is cooking, etc..., purposes? Are the disadvantages worth it enough for the advantages? I was hoping for an overall general programming companion including IoT.4
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On a road side bench. I was testing a GPS application I did back in college. The application stopped working when I get to the destination. I figured the problem right away and couldn't resist fixing it immediately.
[ Few hours later...] (It was a small change but you know, Android studio on a low end laptop)
Tested and completed the app successfully. Oh and by the way, it was 11 in the night. I can just imagine what the people that saw me that night could have thought. 🤣 -
!dev
For fuck sake I hate this day already and its only 10am. I had to go to an exam. I live 200km away from my uni (only have a few classes, so collage is not worth it). I woke up at 4.30 to arrive in time. My car was wrecked 2 weeks ago so I've asked for my mother's car and guess what?... That fucker died on the road. Had to call my dad at 5.50 AM.
I've managed to arrive 7.58 at the classroom, and that retarded dimwit dared to tell me that next time I should hurry (exam started at 8), because they'd already started.
During the exam while I was literally sweating blood that same asshole comes to me that his pocket device detected data traffic coming from where I sit and whether I have a device switched on. It was me though, a devRant notification to be precise. Luckily he just asked me to switch it of, but that 2 minutes of fuckery could cost my pass grade.
Now I am heading back for the broken car to be towed back home. What a wonder-fucking-ful day I have today. And it is still a question, whether I will be able to go to work tomorrow or not. -
Never assume.. coding, how something works, someone knowledge on something, etc. never assume anything it will come back to bite you down the road.
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Joined a new team at work hoping to learn something new. Was told by the team lead that they will be starting development on a new project that I was interested in.
Guess what it was all a fucking lie. I'm assigned a task to create documentation for some legacy java shitcode without any fucking comments.
Fine I get it, they say it's required going down the road of the new project as it will work alongside the old application. But the code is so fucking bad. For starters
-The db host and credentials are hard-coded in a million places
-it stores user credentials in plain text
-its creating files in the fucking filesystem to store things instead of storing it in the db
-each functions ranges from 100 to 8000 lines of code
Who even codes like this 🤯
And I can't fix these issues. All I need to do is document every function and class and package. Fine. Fuck this shit -
100% Remote android development jobs guys?
Anyone any exp in that? I want to travel around when corona is over but keep on working full time and earn at least 70k eur. Is that feasable? Remote seems to be still for digital nomads Backpacker as far as i can see. How can i bootstrap my research into this? Fyi senior android dev with 7 years of exp in mobile software development7 -
Anybody have any easily searchable sync-ed notes apps that are free or one time fee they'd recommend or do I need to get better at google drive?
I've been thinking about trying to cheat and have a git repository to imitate it but imagine the automation to be a pain in the ass or infeasible if anybody has already walked down that road.5 -
How does google map get the ever changing streets data? Be it traffic or general street map? It's accurate af! If a street is shut temporarily, it knows that and reroutes.
I understand that if there are others who are using Google maps in the area, it can aggregate and make an educated guess for every other user. But I am pretty sure it just can't rely on other users opening the app and having their gps on. Eg: live traffic data.. not everyone on the road is using maps!1 -
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side, of course! I mean, what did you expect? Some kind of deep, philosophical answer? It's a chicken, not Socrates. Let's move on.8 -
So I was given a project to work on a week ago. The expectation given to me was completion in one week. I am a newbie hoping to keep my job so I jumped in head first (didn’t know any better). I ran into several road blocks which I communicated to my boss. Today, he (boss) is freaking out (blaming me for being behind the deadline). We have a meeting with the lead dev (who should have been doing this all along). He says wow. This is way too hard. Let’s scale it all back and focus on an MVP: 10% of what was originally requested. Of course. I get no thanks. No recognition for hard work. I’m just happy my coworker sees the work I’m doing.
- The Scapegoat. -
What is the easiest and fastest way to start freelancing? These days the road is long enough to start freelancing as a new freelancer. Tips and tricks fellas?
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I am thinking of naming a game developer company with a catchy name. Due to all the shitheads that have come before me the name I want could be considered racist though it is not meant to be.
Ever since I saw this picture:
https://twitter.com/michaelkeyes/...
I want to create an image of a raccoon riding a hog from a profile image. Think lion king imagery except with a raccoon and a hog. I also want to name the company "Coon Hog Gaming". "Raccoon Hog Gaming" doesn't sound as catchy.
I am by no means desiring to be a woketard. PC culture turns my stomach. I also don't want to alienate any potential customers. I would like to signal to customers that we are not PC and will not be PC. This name does that. Yet maybe some customers would be offended so I couldn't market the game on Steam. Should I just go for it anyway? I guess down the road if things get even more stupid than now I could always change the company name.10 -
So today I started in Cambridge, went to Birmingham then Manchester now I'm in Sunderland and back to Cambridge tomorrow. I don't mind driving but almost every motorway I went on had like 20 miles of average speed checks at 50 due to "road works"
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So I was walking down the road and a carcass of a possum was decaying in it, then I looked nearby and several dead glistening newborn kittens were dead along the road.
people here are such trash.
they better hand over the fucking money and stop it with their queer shit because if they got anything they need their ass shot. -
Thought we moved in to a nice place but then the car noise from outside main road is killing us at night.
What can be done to fix this?11 -
!=rant
So, my company wants to use MadCap Flare to build our help center. This project is a nightmare so far. I've been trying to push for some better alternatives for down the road. Any recommendations? Preferably a
Some sort of free open source framework. I've seen a couple of developer friendly CMS frameworks pop up lately but just want to get a consensus from my good devrant ppls. -
I really hope that Google maps puts his optimization aside and just take me home on a good road.. and not from somewhere Goofy!!
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Has anyone here built a functioning blockchain from scratch? I’ve been poking around looking for resources, preferably eBooks, but hoping to find some that have been road tested. Language/technology neutral; more interested in the quality of the guide and result.
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