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I fucked up hard for the first time yesterday at work.
Came in and expected a huge speech from the bossman.
He called me to his office:
Explained me where I went wrong and what I should do next time with a big smile on his face!24 -
Me: hey look, the time is gone!
Collegue:........?
Me:...... you don't see it? 😅😆
Collegue: no......?
Me: 4:04 🤣
Collegue: *gives death stare*
Me: 😞☹️14 -
Me: Sometimes I talk to myself while debugging.
Me: OMG 😱, me too..
Me: Lets try pair programming next time.9 -
Tech Industry: “We need more developers!”
NewDev: “Hire me”
Tech Industry: “only experienced developers please! We don’t have time to train juniors ”
Older Dev: “Hire me”
Tech Industry: “no, you want too much money and too much time off“
Mid dev: “Hire me”
Tech Industry: “only experienced devs who are a culture fit!”
Robot dev: “Hire me”
Tech Industry: “You are Hired”10 -
dad: what the hell do you do again?
me 1st time asked: I'm a back end web developer, i write the code you don't see that makes things you do see work.
me 90,000th time: internet stuff.
me 83,881,178th time: computers!4 -
Story time:
I was hanging around with my friend:
Me: Gosh, this waiting is killing me!
Friend: You're programmer - aren't you used to waiting?
Me: :|
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
He's right4 -
Every single time:
Me: CTRL+S
Sublime Text: Would you like to purchase a license now?
Me: Cancel
Me: CTRL+S (again)
Pretty sure the last one is not needed, but can't help!15 -
Me: *laying in bed because I have a day off*
Client: *slides in* Do you have time for our lord and savior "bugs in production"
Me: *screams*3 -
Finals done.
Other People: "Yeah, time for fun, friends and parties!"
Me: "Yeah, time for side projects!"11 -
The past 2 years where I work:
Me: hey let's use git instead of ftp!
Boss: should we?
Some time later: he is loving it...
Me: hey let's use trello instead of excell!!??!
Boss: huumm.. Dunno... Should we?
After much convincing: whole departments are using and loving it....
Me: hey let's move from rackspace to DO!
Boss: huumm... Convince me...
Year latter: everything smooth and muuuch lower prices... Managing 6 servers instead of one...
Me: UNIT TESTS!!!
Boss: nah, this but a waste of time...
For real? Get a grip man, I only encourage solutions tested ( no pun intended, or is it ) by me for a long time...4 -
Junior dev: asks me an easy question cuz he's too lazy to figure it out
Me: listening, thinking he's gonna waste my time again 😓
Senior dev: eavesdrops and helps him out
Me: saved me, woohoo 😎
*Few minutes later*
Senior dev: "by the time you finished asking this question, you could have compiled the code yourself to see what happens"
Me: 😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣😂😂😂4 -
I wish my dad wouldn't bring up the cost of college to me.
Yes it costs me $12,000 to attend full time semester. Yes I'll be on $75,000 of debt by the time I graduate next year.
Why the fuck do you think older millennials aren't planning on buying homes, putting off marriage into their 30's let alone thinking about fucking kids.
It's not his fault, I love my parents. I just feel like they want me to pull a rabbit out of a hat when I'm already pushing full time work and soon full time classes.
I'm tired. 😔22 -
Me: "oh its a new year, time to check out some shiny new languages"
Me: *finds kotlin*
Me:
Me: "what the fuck"
29 -
They: What do you do for a living?
Me: DevOps, FreeBSD Administration, Ruby, ...
They: hmm?
Me: administrator for UNIX systems
They: whut?
Me: I do stuff with computers
They: I really like Apple
Me: *sigh*
.... and every time, too...10 -
Thank you devRant for making me feel like a teenager once again! Every time I get a ++ it makes me ever so slightly happier!5
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Me : *writes something (physically), for a very long period of time*
Me : *pretends to press CTRL + S*
Me : ummmm... okay10 -
Windows is like a diaper for me! If you dont reinstall it from time to time, it starts to get full of crap.8
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Me: I have been doing really similar tasks I'm going to spend some time making a template for it.
Supervisor: ok just don't spend to much time on it we have a lot to do.
Me: shouldn't take too long
1 hour later.
Supervisor : how's the work going.
Me: almost done with the template.
Supervisor: this is taking you way to long I need you to just get back to work.
Me: ok
He leaves and I continue work on the template.
30 mins later.
Show him the template.
Me: I cut my time on this specific task by 80%
Supervisor: good job glad I knew you should do it.
WTF YOU WERE TELLING ME NOT TO.5 -
First step to learning Django. Wish me luck!
Trying new stuff always excites me and anxious at the same time.
15 -
I ABSOLUTELY HATE IT when people say, "Can you look into it, in your spare time ?"
Why should I spend my spare time looking at company stuff ? Just WHY ? If you want me to look at it, then FUCKING PAY ME FOR IT!!!5 -
Question: What's the difference between display: block and display: inline?
Me: Thanks for your time...8 -
:-)
I think that "family guy" is telling me That is time to close netflix and read something......
5 -
Current mood:
Yet another meeting that I was forced to join where my presence was absolutely not required9 -
Me:( before vacation ) plans a schedule , decides to be productive.
.
.
.
Me: (during vacation) sleeping all time, doing nothing productive.
Huh! my sad story !6 -
6 months ago:
Boss: We have this idea to improve our onboarding to avoid drop off in the new app. See this section here? Were going to take that out of the onboarding and just let them pass straight through to the app. Then when they get into the app, there will be a banner telling them they should go to settings and set this up. That way they can ignore it for a while and get into the app sooner
Me: Get into the app sooner to do what?
Boss: Explore it
Me: Explore an empty app with no content, as they are a brand new user with nothing setup? While theres a big banner on the screen saying "You have insecure settings" ... basically forcing them to do it straight away anyway?
Boss: Yeah, we can give them some recommendations or something while they click around. It will be good. This is months away anyway, we'll talk again
Yesterday:
Boss: So this weird unexpected thing happened. We showed some beta users our plans to remove this section from onboarding and they felt weird about it. They said they didn't like the idea of the banner telling them they haven't set it up correctly
Me: Thats not weird, I said the same thing 6 months ago
Boss: ......... oh, really?
Me: Yep. Its not an improvement to get them through onboarding quicker, just to tell them they have to now go do it somewhere else
Boss: ... right. Ok maybe we'll build it anyway and see how they feel with it in there hands?
Me: nope
Boss: ... what do you mean?
Me: We are behind, you've asked me 3 times in the last week if we are going to be able to get everything in on time ... and now you want me to build something that everyone, apart from you, says they don't like. So realistically, i'm going to build it, and then remove it next week ... and we'll have a discussion about what has to be dropped because of this
Boss: ........ right .... ok .... hhhmmm
Me: *sits with resting bitch face*
Boss: ... maybe we can hide the banner until later. Not show it to them until they've done something in the app?
Me: ... maybe we can not do any of this?
Boss: right but then the onboarding will ...
Me: *talks louder* ... yes will be the way our users want it to be
Boss: ... hhmm i'm not sure
Me: Ok heres what we'll do, so long as it doesn't delay me getting the designs I need, feel free to have the designer mock up what it would look like using that figma on device preview thing. If users say they like it, i'll build it
Boss: ... right but it won't be real on device app so ...
Me: Its that or we cut feature X
Boss: ... well we need that
Me: ok glad we agree, let me know what feedback the designer gets
Boss: ... ok10 -
Me : *is bad at coding in C, java, Scala, swift and basically every other language*
Also me : time to learn a new language !4 -
Me: Anytime 9am - 12 my time suits me fine.
Him: Sure, noon our time suits us fine.
Me: *talking to myself* I said no later than 12 my time, theres a 2 hour difference. FFS, uh, I'll have to cancel this, move that around, skip that, ARGH!!! fucking hell jackass ... FINE!!!
...
Him: That calendar invite is for 4pm our time, thats a little too late for us.
Me: ...... but they are 2 ..... 2 hours ahead so ..... oh, thats 10am my time .... oh shit2 -
*Shakes phone in frustration*
WHY DON'T YOU GO INTO FUCKING LABDSCAPE...
Oh, I locked the rotation4 -
When I die I want whoever wrote this excel program to lower me into my grave so they can let me down one more time.3
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Me: *tries to debug JS code for 5434910946th time on colleagues computer*
Me soon after realising: clears cache
Both of us: look down in sorrow5 -
Telephonic "technical" interview at 5 in the evening
Interviewer : Tell me about yourself
Me : Blah blah...
Interviewer : Thank you for your time
(Call time on phone... 7 minutes)
Absolutely uninterested... no single counter question... Guess she just wanted to go home early... 😑6 -
This will always hold a special place in my heart.. Makes me so nostalgic every time. It's what got me into computers
8 -
Boss: "How much time do you get this bug fixed?"
Me: "Give me 20 minutes"
*4 hours later*
Me: "fixed is in the repository"
Boss: "You're getting to much time to do your assignments"
Me: *Damn it*
I suck doing estimates 😥7 -
Me trying to use Linux for first time:
Sudo node index.js
access denied
Sudo shutdown
access denied (noob)
Me: im going back to Windows now....23 -
*Friend : Do you have something to hide?
Me : Nope.
Friend : Then why do you delete your browsing history every single time?
Me : .... Fine.
18 -
Then.
Dev: "Ah! Some free time at last, let me stack overflow something and learn"
Now.
Dev: "I'll work later, let me devRant"1 -
"You're charging so much for a work you did so little time. "
"It took me years to learn how do that in so little time" -
Me: *rewrites chunk of code*
"Time to test this baby. This is gonna fail spectacularly"
Code: *works*
Me: "Fuck!"5 -
Soooo it's the first day of sprint. I have tasks A, B and C.
Here's my manager again telling me:
"It's just A ,why are you taking time."
"It's just B ,why are you taking time."
"It's just C ,why are you taking time."2 -
Me: *downloaded wordpress for first time*
Me: *opens folder in Atom*
.php file: Hi there! Welcome to your new bl-
Me: *delete wordpress folder and reformats hard drive*
4 -
Me: I need more programmers for the project.
Boss: You have 4 people, that's enough.
Me: I have 3 juniors taking 50% of time of a senior (me) contributing less than a medior and rest of my time goes to managing project. I know that in 6 months time invested in them will start paying off, but right now I need more people. Also I don't have me, by that logic, cleaning lady comes to the office every day and we couldn't work witout her, so there's 5 people, at least.
Boss: You'll manage.
Inner me: I would if I was working 8 hours as programmer without tutoring and managing.
Me: Sigh.3 -
Client : We need real time analysis.
Me : But we can't just scrape thousands of results and process them on user's click.
Client : Don't do that, Real-time analysis is scraping it once and processing it everytime the user demands.
Me : Okay
WHAT THE FUCK !!!!!7 -
Me: I want to be a dev..
Mom: But you only sit in front of the computer to play games.
Me: That's not what I always do.
Mom: Then why are you sitting behind the computer all the time.
Me: To make software. Most of the time you clearly see me typing code.
Mom: No, I can't trust you, you play too much games. Study hard and get another job.
Me: *Middle finger behind a back.*5 -
When your week has been so busy and exhausting you remember at 1PM Friday you have a deadline for Monday morning and force yourself to do a weeks worth of work in 4 hours and deploy it on a Friday without QA testing!
To future me - I apologise for Monday’s headaches. -
Pausing music because I have to concentrate on a test case like crazy.
3 hours later...
Wait? Why don't I listen to music?
Ah I muted it like 3 hours ago :-/1 -
!rant
I have come to realize, after a long time in programming and using libraries, that spending time to read their documentation saves me time in the long run2 -
Full devRant in-app notification support is here! It actually took me WAY less time than I thought it would take me.
14 -
My boss. Always forgets what he assigned me to do and assigns me to do something different just about each time we meet2
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About week ago I finally upgraded to ios 12 and I really like screen time reporting. It forces me to spend less time using phone.
It lacks features like listening to music or books time, probably because it only measure screen time. Besides that it’s cool.
13 -
Manager: yo I need a time line for this shit.
Me: I don't know how long it takes.
Manager: tell me how long it takes.
Me: I can tell you what can be done in next couple hours. I don't even know what will happen tomorrow.
Manger: now tell me this time shit.
Me: .......
Seriously, dear fellow ranter. How do you estimate timeline? Your timeline is changing.5 -
A coworker asked me for help so they could finish their task on time. That meant that I had to be a bit late for one of mine. They blamed me for delaying the whole team because I didn't finish mine on time. 😕11
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Me: Hey maybe you could finish this game you're working on before starting a new one?
Also me: but this new one is so cool!
Me: you said that last time4 -
CW:"We need this."
ME:"It'll take me some time to do. When do we need it by."
CW:"Yesterday."
ME:"Awesome, that's my favorite day to deliver."2 -
Me a month ago: "I'm done with full-time corporate work. I'm going to shift to freelance only so I can enjoy my life and not be in a grind, bowing and scraping to a manager all day."
*Recruiter finds me and offers me a full-time opportunity*
Me now: "Well, I guess I can look into it..."
Me 9 months from now: "I'm done with full-time corporate work. I'm going to shift to freelance only so I can enjoy my life and not be in a grind, bowing and scraping to a manager all day."
Repeat until dead.2 -
ÆÃÅĀÀÁÂÄ!!!
I'm so thrilled!! I am not a GUI person & I am rly rly slow & bad when it comes to minor changes on that part..
But today I finally finished GUI, client logic, server side logic & db shiiit for some audit interface I was making.. ..from scratch, meaning it wasn't some changese here & there, no copy pasta no nothin.. I did the whole thing by myself..did a lot of things for the first time & it didn't take me ages!! Wiiiiii!!! Having a total 'I iz so proud of myself' moment!! // I usually am not the boasting/confident/happy with myself type..3 -
Me: hey mr backend guy, front end guy here, having some trouble with $thing, here's a detailed explanation of my issue, could you let me know if $thing is still active?
Him: hi
Me: ... hi, so about that issue I'm running into...
<crickets time="1hr"/>
Him: ok........checking ....
<crickets time="2hr"/>
Him: (offline)
SSSSSSOOOOO guess I'm figuring this one out myself -
Me every time I create a new Meteor project:
- Go to localhost:3000
- Click the "Click Me" button hundreds of times
- Start the goddam development
3 -
Getting tired of my manager saying "That's too long! The people at the companies I've worked at before could do it in nearly half the time!"
Like, what's the point of asking me to quote time if you're just gonna ask me to reduce it anyway?3 -
Looking for some advice....
So I'm a web dev that works remotely full time from home which I love, I'm expecting my first child in late march which is really exciting but I'm starting to think about how it's all going to work with the missus home for at least 12 months and of course a baby that (without sounding horrible) is going to be a big distraction to me when I'm trying to work.
So just wanted to know if there was anyone else out there in a similar position or that has gone through the same thing and how you did it? Is there any advice you can give me?
Appreciate any thoughts.13 -
I had someone reject me the follow me to the parking lot and ask me to teach them Jira in their spare time. 😂😂😂2
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I can't stop procrastinating from doing what I need to do. This extends to even web development and coding on personal projects, which is something I really enjoy doing.
It's as if I have some sort of underlying fear holding me back each time I get the chance to get things done. Normally I don't have the time and make the excuse for myself that there "is not enough time" but tbh I now literally have an entire week in front of me free, with nobody to distract me. I am actually getting my long-desired time alone. I can finally power through all the things that require intense focus, like coding.
And yet, I can't bring myself to just do it. Instead I make excuses and go play video games instead (Overwatch has been a really bad time sink for me). I haven't been able to do what I wanted to for like a year now. What the fuck is wrong with me?
I need help guys!! Anyone have advice for me?9 -
Anyone else like coding while high? A lot of the time it gives me a different, more simple, point of view of my problem which helps me find a solution a good amount of the time14
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I sincerely cannot live through another daylight saving time change. I cannot. Please, oh politicans, have mercy upon me. My work deals with 5 different time zones. PLEASE5
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well fuck me, just spent the whole weekend (about 33 hrs) not being able to solve a task from uni with a java program we had to write🙄😪
the problem was a given set of movies with a weekday, the begin time, the duration, the title, and a "score"
the movies take place in one week (random days, random amount of movies) and every movie can be shown multiple times
our task was to find a sequence of non-overlapping (all unique) movies with a score of at least a given number
all in text form
i tried dynamic programming but the more i tried, the more it got complicated, so i ended up using "earliest finishing time first"
my code is just 3 points under the goal and i don't know what to change anymore😒, also some friends did the exact same and succeeded somehow
copying (and obfuscating) won't work, as the codes will be compared by a very good "copy checker"
let's hope i'll still have a chance for an exam😐2 -
3 projects due tomorrow...damnit procrastination, you got me again.
*sigh*
Never again, until next time.5 -
Me: Can you write the exact code one more time but in C language this time, so we can see it?
Other: But why, what's the problem?
Me: I don't know, maybe is garbage collector which collected all your code because IT LOOKS LIKE TRASHHHHH :@:@:@:@2 -
Me: Writes down 'npm install '
Me: Copies the install command and pastes it
Me: Run 'npm install npm install package'
Every fucking time2 -
Someone wrote to me on linkedin for a php job. I had enough time and accepted the interview. We set it for the next day at a time that both me and the recruiter wanted.
I waited for him to even contact me until 5-6 hrs after the time we set, to tell me he was busy with meetings (wtf you wanted 14pm). I gave another chance and we set the interview the next day at the same time.
I waited for 2-3 hrs. This time he wrote me back even later, it was almost midnight to tell me the same excuse.
Is this a red flag for you? Should I even consider working with this guy?3 -
Last time I had a cup of hot water instead of coffee. This time I have 2 cups of coffee on my table. Can you remind me what's life?
-
Fucking government shifting day light saving time by two weeks making me rely on my phone time zone auto-update and wake up one fucking hour earlier!
Way to go Monday...4 -
So today I'm going to join Reddit
Tell me subreddits where I can learn more and at the same time it doesn't go too much above my head
Interests in which I'd like to invest time:
Machine learning
Statistics
Distributed systems
Or general computer science research
Suggest me6 -
setInterval(() => {throw new Error("April fools!"}, 100);
Time to make the front end team hate me.4 -
Funny how DPI impacts scanning speed... I have been scanning 150 DPI the whole time hoping it would save me some time, I'm better off with 225.
(Left: DPI, Right: seconds)
4 -
Me: hey look, the time is gone!
Collegue:........?
Me....... you don't see it?😅😆
Collegue: no......?
Me: 4:04 D🤣
Collegue: *gives death stare*
Me:😎2 -
I work on many projects at work. There's divisions of teams and each team typically has one project. Each one of those projects have weekly Sprint meetings.
That's great! For the team. That means each team has one meeting a week so it's not too disruptive for those individuals.
Me on the other hand? I've got my hand in all the buckets. I'm on every team. I'm the only person on every team. This means I get to go to every meeting.
Let me rephrase that:
This means I -have- to go to every. Single. Meeting.
Which means I have a meeting every. Single. Day. Even if I didn't touch that project that week.
It is literally THE biggest waste of time. I sit there in a 1-2 hour long meeting saying absolutely nothing, not even being spoken to. I could be working on other projects.
And these meetings normally interrupt something I'm working on. Conveniently in the middle of me being in my zone. It makes me completely un-motivated to work for the hour before the meeting because why bother if I'm just going to get interrupted? And then it takes an hour to get back into everything after the meeting because everyone is fooling around or complaining about the meeting.
So that's three hours of my 8 hour work day completely wasted.3 -
Every time I go home I have to switch all my passwords, because my little brother watches me type them and memorize them. Every damn time. I'm running out of passwords.12
-
Your girlfriend is sucking away your time, energy, money, and sanity. Fkkkkkkk me ded plzzz asdfghjkl6
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When you go to Windows from Linux after long time and Windows fucks you up by its freaking updates. The whole time waiting, I felt Windows was indirectly saying, "You left me for someone else and now you want me back? Suffer bitch!4
-
Story time.
Previous role.
Have a BA working and overseeing the team.
Development is an absolute shit show at the company.
Basically constantly focussed on putting out fires and reeling from the 100 WTF’s a minute thanks to the batshit code the yes-men offshore Indian devs had created.
I’m quite outspoken, and don’t just roll over when people are cunts to me.
I ended up in so many meetings about communication and tone, merely because I wasn’t putting up with the BA’s two-faced cuntery where he tried to be my friend but at the same time be an utter fucking jobsworth.
Genuinely, I really got so close to decking him a few times.
Pic related.
1 -
A little reflection on the relationship between me/my dad/computer:
When i was younger my dad showed and taught me how to work on his (10 - 15yrs+ old) laptop running windows xp. Soon we got a simple desktop pc (those ones that took nearly a minute to start). i remember my dad sayin something like "don't download anything cause (the pc will brake/it will be a virus/...)", I don't remember exactly ... but i know that i still did it (being fucking nervous😅) and it went well😌. later me and my little sister would go to "spielaffe.de" several times until getting some kind of "virus"😅😅.
Time passed and i got passionate about pc's (programming, trying Ubuntu, reading about internals of a pc,...). It didn't take long that i passed my dad's knowledge and so here i am studying CS😎.
In the end, regarding my dad:
first he was the master i looked up to, then he became the buddy i talked to and asked for problems, then ... he remained the light user who would like to return to his windows xp era and asks me first as his personal google when something happens out of his "comfort-zone"😅😌.
And sometimes i believe my dad is becoming incompetent for pc's😂😅 -
Why is it that EVERYTIME before going on vacations I am loaded with work, that production problems are sent to me and must be fixed ASAP, and that everyone needs me right away all the time. Manage your time stop sucking out mine 😤
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Fuck, I knew that my code for my thesis would at some point become bad and very unmaintainable. Workaround here and there, everything put together "to fix later", just to make it all work "for now". I know what my code does where and when but my tech debt has reached a critical point, where a new idea and new procedure cannot be simply be added. Well, time to refactor and modularize as much as possible😪
Wish me luck that the whole project doesn't brake. Oh and of course so many different changes that I don't know what to put in git and in which order to do so.12 -
Refactoring/cleaning old code.. Found this gem:
$hour = substr($obj->hour, 0, - 3);
Turns out, hour was saved in the database as a TIME field(DATE was saved in another column) , and the previous genius dev was trying to output time in a H:i format...
No wonder php has such a bad reputation...2 -
I took half an afternoon to realize that the complex problem I was facing could be solved just by changing a variable's name for another one that would do the trick.
GOD. FUCKING. DAMNIT !!! -
Interviewer : can you give me the pseudo code for a multilayer perrceptron?
Me: you 've got some time?
Interviewer : well 2 minutes?2 -
Can anyone explain to me how is it possible that some devs like to work on macos?
This feels like a punishment to me. Every time.26 -
GoLive for this big feature is set for Thursday. So the customer approaches me and asks can our team do it. Sure it can be done if everything goes perfectly, but... This means that the feature won't be tested, everything won't probably go perfectly (which it didn't because of customer selected third party api surprise nondocumented features (bugs)) and Thursday release is almost as dumb fucking idea as Friday release. I said it more nicely and I got:
"I don't agree with you"
from a person who has 0 understanding of what is going on and whose boss pays me to tell them what it needs in order to work and prosper.
And we had this fucking conversation three times. So basically he interrupted my coding that directly impacts the schedule in order to debate how fast things can be done. Don't these people understand that everytime you interrupt a software engineer the deadline is pushed by the same amount of time you waste of mine + 30minutes of refocus time to get back into the thing you were doing.
Best part was that the deadline was this magic date the guy pulled out of his ass without consulting the developer team and nobody really cared about the deadline =D
FUCK1 -
Not a rejection per se, but a company I applied to just stopped emailing me after trying to arrange a day for me to come to the office and meet the team, following an informal phone interview. They dragged their heels while I was on leave and by the time they got back to me I was back at work and had limited time. They basically just ghosted me after that.
-
Definitely the first time I saw real time data from a backend on a webapp. Something so magical about it actually working and me maybe not being a total dumbass.
-
I have a confession: I produced a shit ton of wacky code...
The business guy in my team is super fucking bitchy about deploying to prod, while my codebase is a total mess. I could refactor it to use a much cleaner module, but I had to do it because we're running out of time. I spent half a day trying to refactor while failing miserably.
//FIXME: I will come back... or not.1 -
BA: "Can you design a page for this?"
me (not a designer): "Um, sure, no problem."
Fast forward two days, show the page for approval.
PM: "Hey, can we do it as a pop-up instead?"
:| -
Just now:
Windows asks me to schedule a time for updates
I schedule a time
Windows asks me again
I deny because I already set it
While I'm debugging and about to finish, windows restarts -
Debugging AWS IAM credentials wondering why they don't work for 5 hours.
Note to self: Check the clock first next time. -
Fucking windows , everytime I come to use it for premiere pro and every fucking time it manages to disappoint me and waste my time . It makes me a biased hater of it.
No BG process is running neither anything is copied from the external drive . Fucking trash OS.
8 -
Time it took me to write REST API and DB objects = 20 mins
Time it took me to to write a shitty Python 15-line script that parses a text file with regex's = 2 hours after I asked Stackoverflow
Don't even know what to say.4 -
Me: *newly learning MySQL*
Also me: time to buy wedding rings for my pinky finger and the caps lock key16 -
I don't understand how my leads are so bad at estimating time.
"I'll message you in five minutes" = they'll message me in an hour
"Give me ten minutes" = I will sign off for two hours and not respond for another 45 the next time you see me on and message me
Seriously, stop saying things you don't mean. It's rude and insulting.3 -
Least fav enterprise software? Anything Oracle.
Which reminds me, time to migrate away from DYN :(2 -
Ability to stop time, it would give me enough time to finish my extra projects, catch up on my sleep, and always be finished ahead of schedule.
-
I would love to finish a personal project that I've spent three summers making. Wrote 3500+ lines of code and never got around to finishing it. 😕3
-
TL;DR: I should just stick to Python. I'm not touching front-end stuffs.
I got promoted to moderator of the subreddit of the game I play. Got greeted by a list of task involving tweaking the stylesheet (CSS). I said fine, I screwed around with CSS before I can screw with this again. So now I'm in charge of the whole op. Alone. Yay /s.
The objective is just dark-theme-ing the thing because white hurts (we all know that). So I fired up Firefox, made a test subreddit, cloned the whole stylesheet and sprites and started screwing around with my editor and Inspector Tool. And it hit me: One element refused to render (I don't if that's the correct technical term), and I don't even know why the fuck it didn't render. 15 minutes fuzzing through and it still gave a middle finger. Fine. Fuck you. Full revert, back to original. Then I changed the original sheet one change at a time, reloading after every changes. After changing everything, it suddenly work. What the fuck. Why the fuck. How the fuck. How the bloody fuck. How in the bloody fuck.
(""Fucks" per minute" sure is an effective measure of code quality)2 -
*First time using Vim*
Me - Yay I am excited to open file in vim
- Vim test.py
*Make some edit, I mean Just changing variables name :P*
Me - alright it's done, let's exit from it
Me - wait how I can get out from it?
Google's it
Me - haha alright let's do it again
:q
Didn't Work
Me - hmm why tho?
-Aah I didn't saved it
:wq
-You can't save this existing file
Me - WHY THO?!
me - alright Calm down it's first time
Spamming bot Activated
:q
:wq
:qq
:we
Me - OMG ! (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻
- fine let's do it last time
:q
*For more options type vim --h
Me - ಠ︵ಠ
*Next day*
Welcome, I am cortana11 -
first experience:
Crucial touchpoint with product owners;
- me doing my business on the toliet
- me cleaning up
- me brushing my teeth
** Yes I agree! That feature could****brushbrush****take some time to ***brushbrush*** do** -
Trying to sell my team on switching to a new technology.
Told my boss I'd bust ass to get a feature similar demo ready in 2 months by myself, on my own time, because I fucking HATE the current stack we're battling against every fucking day.
There goes my life for 2 months. Fuck. -
What does it take for one to design his/her own laptop completely from scratch?
*If you answer me it's not worth my time, then please don't waste your time answering.*18 -
var me = new Developer();
while(TimePassing())
if (time > 9am && time < 10am)
{
bool success;
me.TryStayAwake(out bool success);
if (success)
me.Code();
}
else
{
if (bedtime)
me.ActivateSuperAwakeMode()
}1 -
Last day at the old workplace done ✔️
Now there's 5 weeks of freedom ahead before the new job begins. I can only advise all of you to go for one month of me-time the next time you change your job 😁 -
I'm doing freelancing.
One client hires me for 30 hours/week.
And I'm are getting work irregular.
Like
1 week is full of 30 hour
1 week just 10 hours.
1 week 20 hour.
What should I do?
I try to get other project but most of are For a full time.
One Client hires me but at that time the previous client gave me a full 30 hour's work so the new client could not get enough time and gave me low ratings because of time wasting.
I'm afraid that can happen again.3 -
I seem to be constantly ignored in team chats...
Only time I get included is when someone needs me...
Maybe they found me on devRant...1 -
Aaaah, my delighted daily dose of wonderfully not-written-by-me CSS I have to edit from time to time...
I always feel so enlightened after spending time in those files.
2 -
When someone asks me to work on a project and I check if I've got the time to work on it
try:
import time
except ImportError:
print ("Time not available")
Result: "Time not available" -
Someone, a few years ago, tried to tell me computers don't have apps, only phones have apps. It still makes me wonder wtf from time to time.4
-
Can anyone help me in jquery?
I'm doing a loop of trigger which are 13 in count, but every trigger event contains ajax call and what my problem is that it doesn't wait for ajax response and keep hitting trigger until last trigger fires.
so I'm having my ajax response only on last one.
What can I do for this?9 -
Sports made me a team player and overall determined person. It thought me that progress requires time and that appetite comes with the eating.
-
What the crap? Get this, I'm setting the timezone to UTC in PHP. All find and dandy, only that it gives me the wrong FUCKING date and time, like what is wrong with you xD I changed nothing since yesterday and yesterday it gave me the correct time xD2
-
new manager new problems: every 1:1 I listen for him to talk about his political defeats all the time and he wouldn't make time for me to talk
-
How much time do you take usually to code a backend with simple crud operations and notification system?
It's taking me some time, but I feel I'm going too slow...7 -
That lovely moment your development server manages to find a new error every day and you have to spend the new day fixing the error. This just a week from releasing the work of months running smoothly.
-
Having to come into the office on the day after new years hungover and grouchy to do support tickets because everyone else took leave and you're a good boy that gets shit done
-
project time is a tough time (especially deadlines!).
but project time is learning time and a growth time.
so it doesn't discourage me! -
When did you see your project manager making that face the last time? Me, not that long time ago... :D
-
Guys and gals in DevRant, if the interviewer said that she will send me the result of the interview within today and she doesn't send me the promised email within the said time frame, when it the appropriate time to follow up?4
-
Me: Time to work on wife's website.
Server: Unable to Validate DMI.
Me: Reboot.
Server: HAHA no CPU information and still no DMI
Me: Remove drives part from SSD.
Server: HI THERE.
Me: Facepalm's
2 -
Can't really complain about hackathons, they've been great to me. Worked with new technology every time, so I've always taken massive positives every time.
-
Hey Nodevember! Did you hear about the time a C++ conference decided to uninvite Dietz? Me neither. I have heard about the time a Javascript conference uninvited Doug Crockford though.
-
Tried pomedoro technique for the first time . Didn't help much other than just telling me how much time I have spent
-
DEVRANT FEATURE REQUEST
@dfox It would be a real time saver if DevRant app remembers the rant I was reading and saving me a time to scroll down to the last rant. :)3 -
So Last time they fucked me out of housing and made excuses to not provide shelter
Let's see what they do this time
Blood is warm6 -
I know it doesn't really exist in one solution, but I need management software to keep track of customers (crm), projects, products, licensing and contracts, and time keeping. Right now we are using MSCRM (ugh), and old homebrew project/time tracker written in Perl spaghetti (double ugh), email (sigh) and handwritten notes (kill me). Now I suddenly find myself with a budget (somewhat) and the authority to actually fix things. Any ideas would be appreciated.
-
I understand that climate change is a thing and all but it still screws with me every time it rains in Cape Town this time of year1
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