This shit is real.

Guy comes to my desk.
Guy: Do you know Python?
Me: Yes
Guy: I want a program that reads a CSV containing IP addresses and tells which of them are valid.
Me: Sure thing. Show me the CSV file.
Guy: (Shows the file)
Me: (Writes a small function for checking whether the IP is valid)
Me: Done Here you go.
Guy: You should be using regex.
Me: Why? This is perfect. No need for regex.
Guy: My manager wants a solution using regex only.
Me: Why so?
Guy: I don't know. Can you do it using regex?
Me: Only if you say so. (Stackoverflow. Writes a humongous regex). Done!
Me: Just for curiosity, what is your application?
Guy: I will port it in Java. You see, regex is easy to debug.
Me: Ohhh Yes. I forgot that. Good luck with your regex.

*at work* (fictional names)

Kevin (linux support engineer): Bob, could you come for a second to take a look at something?
Bob (senior linux engineer): *tiny voice from a corner behind a desk* bob is not available right now. Please try again later.
Kevin: Bob, please, just for a second!
Bob: bob is not available right now, please try again later.
Kevin: Boooooooooooooob, come heeeeereeeee
Bob: as said before, bob is not available right now, try again later.
Kevin: but booooooob, come oooooon.
Bob: it seems that you might have a hearing problem since bob is still not available.
Kevin: but booooohooooob, come heeeeeeeeeeereee
Bob: it seems like the person on the other side of this line might be retarded. Bob is not available right now.
Kevin: But boooohooooohooooooob come oooohooohooon, just for a seeehehecond *starts fake sobbing"
Bob: Bob is getting real tired of your shit. Leave bob alone.

😆

Here's a list of unpopular stuff which I agree with:

1) I love Java more than any other programming language.

2) I love sleeping more than working.

3) I'm not a night owl. I thrive the most during daylight.

4) I don't like or need coffee. Tea is fine.

5) Webdev is a huge clusterfuck which I secretly wish that could just die already.

6) Cybersecurity is a meme and actually not that interesting. Same passes for Cloud, Machine Learning and Big Data.

7) Although I'm a huge fan of it Linux is too unstable and non-idiot proof to ever become mainstream on the desktop.

8) Windows is actually a pretty solid OS.

9) The real reason I don't use macos is because I'm a poorfag that can't afford an overpriced laptop.

10) I don't like math and I hate that people push math shit into random interview questions for dev jobs which have nothing to do with math.

Post yours.

At the airport.

Security: Please put all your electronics in the bin, including your watch.

Me: No problem

<goes through scanner>

Me: there was an Apple Watch in here and now it is gone.

Security: Oh, you lost your Apple Watch?

Me: No! I put my Apple Watch in the bin like you instructed and YOU lost my Apple Watch.

Security: It must be in the spinners.

Me: So my $500 Watch is in the spinners being run over by bins?

Security: you have to put the small things on the bottom.

Me: It was on the bottom and I did as you asked, this is entirely on you. Do not try to shift the blame to me again please.

Security: As I said...

Me: As I said, Do not try to shift the blame to me again. This is entirely your responsibility once you separate me from my electronics so you can perform security theatre. Have a nice day.

—————

Fuck this god damn security theatre. Fuck the dumbasses they hire. Fuck your country. Fuck your god damn feeling of insecurity. Fuck Your ineffective security theatre.

Sick my fucking dick until you choke and gag you worthless pieces of shit. Homeless people the street provide more security than you incompetent, under-educated assholes. Fuck you

And yes, I have 2 fucking laptops. I have a real fucking job where I provide actual value and for that I need a work laptop. I don’t come to work in a stupid looking outfit with a chip on my shoulder looking to inconvenience people. I come to work to provide real value to someone.

Fuck you and your worthless bullshit

This shit is real. Entertainment in traffic xD

FINALLY
GODDAMNED
FIXED

I'VE SPENT OVER A GODDAMN WEEK SWIMMING THROUGH DEMON EXCREMENT WITH A MAGNIFYING GLASS TRYING TO FIND THE SOURCE OF THIS SHIT.

I FINALLY FOUND IT. IN A FUCKING. CONDITIONAL. OVERLOAD. OF A MODEL GETTER.

THAT ABSOLUTE NONSENSE RETURNS EITHER THE REQUESTED COLUMN FROM THE DATABASE, OR AN ENTIRELY FUCKING DIFFERENT COLUMN, ALL DEPENDING ON THE VALUE OF A THIRD FUCKING COLUMN.

HKJSDFASKFJ

TO MAKE MATTERS WORSE.
THE VALUE IT RETURNS. IS COMPLETELY WRONG. FOR ALMOST. EVERY. FUCKING. CASE.

BECAUSE THAT FIRST COLUMN? IT NEVER GETS UPDATED. EVER.

AND THIS DEALS WITH ACCOUNTING AND REAL GODDAMN MONEY.

AARRGHHHHH
WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?!

Mother of god, as if the new mass surveillance law in the Netherlands wasn't bad enough, one of the politicians who likes the new law has come up with an even more redicilous idea.

an 'Internet Authority. To put it short, an authority which surveils the internet in real time and sees where all social media shit is coming from/going.

Meaning that it wouldn't just be 'targeted mass surveillance' sometimes but fulltime online monitoring.

This guy has lost his fucking mind.

*tries to convert a Windows drive into btrfs*
*copies the whole 1.4TB of data back from server*

Windows: Wait, you expect me to do more than browsing the Phasebuk and playing games? Over a million files?! No no no, can't do that.
*reboot after BSOD*
Ehm, a hard drive you say? A drive that I just fucked up? What are you talking about? I don't see any hard drive :/

Piece of shit.

Crappy Arch Linux laptop: ah, I see a new hard drive connected here. Limme mount it real quick for ya :3
Me: eh, not now. I want to format it first.
Linux: oh, cool! Your wish is my command <3
*formats hard drive to btrfs*
Me: alright, now please copy all that 1.4TB onto the drive and please don't overheat _/\_
Linux: Gotcha! On your commands sir!

See the difference? The mental communication level? Windows is like talking to an obnoxious grade schooler that just does whatever the fuck they want to. Linux on the other hand is so much more mature and capable. Guess which one I like the most.

“Yeah but you’re not a *real* developer”

Fuck. you.

I wrote 80% of this code base. I do 80% of the tickets/storyboard points. I do all of the QA. My nose is to the grindstone every fucking day honing this craft and sweating my balls off like a blacksmith staring into the red hot kiln while the sores of previous mistakes scream bloody murder from the unrelenting exposure to heat. I saw this amazing industry of opportunity, freedom and self examination and wanted in no matter what it took. I glued myself to every pithy resource I could possibly get my hands on and crawled through the muck and filth of it all until I could keep myself warm with the smallest spark of my own making. I stoked that spark until it became a fire and stoked that fire until I could set entire forests ablaze. I listened to the ungrateful people keeping warm by my combustion saying it “wasn’t hot enough” or “would have been a nicer colour if they did it” or “could have warmed up just fine jogging on the spot”. I made painstaking alterations to my ignition and watched my undeserving benefactors gradually be silenced and begin to sit quietly by the heat. I jumped into that inferno daily, was reduced to ash daily and emerged reborn daily. But you are right! I didn’t get scammed out of $40k+ studying technology in an archaic institution from instructors who don’t give a shit and answering “D all of the above” for 4+ years straight therefor my opinion doesn’t mean shit. Push your bullshit to prod and watch the server come burning out of the cloud as the apocalyptic swarm of angry tickets come flooding in why don’t you? Bet they didn’t teach you that in school. You’ve never poked around inside an open source codebase in your life. They are just a mystery boxes of magic that unless someone holds your hands with finely crafted instructions containing a 50/50 picture to word ratio you throw a hissy fit. Every problem that comes up instead of working to solve it you reflexively point to the first person in the room while thinking with your pea brain how you can possibly scapegoat them into taking the fall for whatever it is that’s come up today you couldn’t possibly understand.

Not a real developer?

Fuck. You.

At my previous job we had the rule to lock your PC when you leave. Makes sense of course.
We were not programmers but application engineers, still, we worked with sensitive data.

One colleague always claimed to be the most intelligent and always demanded the "senior" - title. Which he obviously did not deserve.

multiple times a day forgot to lock his workstation and we had to do it for him.
My last week working there, I've had it. He forgot it again... So I made a screenshot of his current environment. Closed everything. Set his new background with the screen shot and killed explorer (windows). Then finally I locked his PC.

When he came back he panicked that his PC froze. He couldn't do shit anymore. Not knowing what to do... 😂
Which makes him a senior of course.

But seriously, first thing I would do is open the task manager and notice that explorer wasn't running... Thus my background with the taskbar isn't real.... My colleagues must be pranking me!

Nope... The "senior" knew little

OH MY GOD, MY TEACHER DOES NOT TEACH MY FAVORITE LANGUAGE!

I've seen a lot of rants about teachers who use an outdated language, or don't accept the preferred framework or library of the ranter, or even force students to use a technology or even worse an OS they don't prefer.

Whats with that attitude?

I absolutely encourage young people to learn technology in their free time and it absolutely helps at building a career and become good at programming. I don't think being around 18 and never having worked in a real job is the time to select "the most superior language and technology".

Actually, that time is never.

Technology is evolving all the time and different tech evolves in different paths for different purposes. Get rid of the idea, that there is a "best" and get rid of the idea, that you will always be able to work with what you think is best.

If you're really really really awesome, you can chose to do what you like most. Not awesome as in "i learned programming in my free time, now i'm better than my programming-for-beginners-course teacher" but awesome as in "start my own company and can afford to only take the jobs i feel like doing", that awesome. Most likely, you're not (yet).

In the real world, you will very likely sometimes be required to work with technology you don't prefer. Maybe with something you think is really bad. Probably, it's not that bad. More likely, you read it on the internet from someone whose self-image is based on on loving TechA and hating TechB. A lot of much hated technology is at least okay for it's intended use. Maybe not the most pleasant time you will ever have, but no reason to jump out of the window. Hey, and if you get used to it, you may even start to like it. At least, learn to retain some dignity when confronted with things you don't like.

You can still think that one thing is better than another, but if you make a huge drama out of it, you just make it harder for yourself. The best programmer is the one who get's shit done, not the one with the saltiest tears.

Real conversation:

dev 1: so what are you working on these days?

dev 2: some wordpress project.

dev1: hahaha. wordpress is shit. are you a real developer?

dev 2: have you ever used wordpress?

dev1: no.

dev2: okay.

Let's get something straight people, the trend to change terms in programming languages for PC approved ones is NOT for "making the workplace a better place".

If you are one of those who say "oh it's just terms, if it makes them feel better why not?", "I don't care so should everybody else", "the outrage proves we need to change the terms!".

No sir, first of all, since when has programming been about ditching standards to make people "feeel" better? Since when has engineering been about that?! We are engineers, we don't change shit and waste effort trying to fix things that are working.

Second, this word cleansing does NOT come from a well intentioned one, it's not about making the workplace a better place, it's not about minorities, it's about sanitizing language from an ideological and political standpoint to please an agenda pushing minority who doesn't give a shit about any real social issues.

They have done it to movies, videogames, news, political speech, magazines, books and now programming. It doesn't stop and they will never be satisfied, it's not about changing the terms, no one gives a shit about the terms, it's about pandering to ideological crybabies who want to control what you say because it "offends" them or some supposedly oppressed group from which we just hear anecdotal evidence.

Personally I wouldn't give a shit if it was for technical reasons, but it's not and I've seen what this shit does to communities I love and I won't stand it happening to the dev community just because some weak ass, no balls coders decided to pander to the retards on the far left to score virtue points instead of standing their ground.

Are you worried about oppressed groups? Donate money to third world children, speak out about women in Siria, travel to actual shitty 3rd world countries so you realize changing words on a GitHub repo on your expensive ass MacBook, sipping your soy based coffee on an office with air conditioning is not making the world a better place you delusional prick.

You want to ignore the facts be my guest, be willfully ignorant, but I will not police myself and my ideas for your ideological beliefs, not in gaming, not here. Fuck off.

I'm gonna be honest with you guys.

I need a friend. A real friend. And I'm looking for one (or many) among you.

Is any of you interested in being my friend?

I know, it sounds weird. My inner self bully is bringing to mind many adjectives for saying that: faggot, weak, snowflake, gay, pussy, clingy, demanding.

I know. But I'm at the edge of 30 and I think it's better if I cut the shit and just be very clear about the type of friend I'm looking for.

I need people that will be there when the shit gets tough.

I can joke with you,
I can laugh my ass off with you,
I can passionately argue about what's the better programming language.

But most importantly, I can be there when you're depressed, when you want to punch your boss in the face, when you're griefing a loved one that is gone.

And that exactly what I'm looking in a friend.

I used to have friends in life, but a variety of circumstances caused some distance: commitments, personality changes, physical distance, or just a feeling that they don't give two shits about me.

Am I the perfect friend? Not at all. I have a temper and am quite opinionated about my tools, but most of the times I try to be a not-asshole.

I might get angry and be very honest when I don't like something, but it would be very weird for me to turn my back on a friend.

It is impossible for someone to be friends with and to like everyone. But the least I can do is just give anyone a chance.

I think friendships are just things that take time and grow if there is enough care put into them.

Here's my discord chirptune#1829, so if you add me, please let me know your username here.

I think it'd be cool to have like a brotherhood on discord or slack of people looking out for each other (jesus christ, that sounds corny as fuck)

Not to rob people from devrant, I just think that the board style can't fulfill deeper social needs imo, that's all.

Sooooo me and the lead dev got placed in the wrong job classification at work.

Without sounding too mean, we are placed under the same descriptor and pay scale reserved for secretaries, janitors and the people that do maintenance at work(we work for a college as developers) whilst our cowormer who manages the cms got the correct classification.

The manager went apeshit because the guidelines state that:

Making software products
Administration of dbs
Server maintenance and troubleshooting
Security (network)

And a lot of shit is covered on the exemption list and it is things that we do by a wide fucking margin. The classification would technically prohibit us from developing software and the whole it dptmnt went apeshit over it since he(lead developer) refuses (rightfully so) to touch anything and do basically nothing other than generate reports.

Its a fun situation. While we both got a substantial raise in salary(go figure) we also got demoted at the same time.

There is a department in IT which deals with the databases for other major applications, their title is "programmers" yet for some reason me and the lead end up writing all the sql code that they ever need. They make waaaaay more money than me and the lead do, even in the correct classification.

Resolution: manager is working with the head of the department to correct this blasphemy WHILE asking for a higher pay than even the "programmers"

I love this woman. She has balls man. When the president of the school paraded around the office asking for an update on a high priority app she said that I am being gracious enough to work on it even though i am not supposed to. The fucking prick asked if i could speed it up to where she said that most of my work I do it on my off time, which by law is now something that I cannot do for the school and that she does not expect any of her devs to do jack shit unless shit gets fixed quick. With the correct pay.

Naturally, the president did not like such predicament and thus urged the HR department(which is globally hated now since they fucked up everyone's classification) to fix it.

Dunno if I will get above the pay that she requested. But seeing that royal ammount of LADY BALLS really means something to me. Which is why i would not trade that woman for a job at any of my dream workplaces.

Meanwhile, the level of stress placed my 12 years of service diabetic lead dev at the hospital. Fuck the hr department for real, fuck the vps of the school that fucked this up royally and fuck people in this city in general. I really care for my team, and the lead dev is one of my best friends and a good developer, this shit will not fucking go unnoticed and the HR department is now in low priority level for the software that we build for them

Still. I am amazed to have a manager that actually looks out for us instead of putting a nice face for the pricks that screwed us over.

I have been working since I was 16, went through the Army, am 27 now and it is the first time that I have seen such manager.

She can't read this, but she knows how much I appreciate her.

GROW SOME FUCKING BALLS AND TAKE RESPONSIBILITY YOU FUCKWIT!
I can't even count how many times I've heard people excuse themselves with sentences like:

"It's not my fault I only got a C, our teacher was shit"

"How can I finish this assignment when the teacher haven't learned me this?"

"I'll be late to work because my dick was stuck in the sink"

(This is a real one I've experienced myself. A teacher said this last week)
"I wasn't able to put up your material for your assignment before now because we're busy with exams" - The day before the assignment was due. Gj.

"He doesn't deserve to get fired, it's not his not at fault for being incompetent"

Then who the fuck is? The government? Your neighbor? My dog? A stray dog?

STFU! I'm so fucking tired of all these excuses! Grow some hair and take responsibility.
The only thing you achieve by not doing so is making everyone else drown in your disgusting vomit your constantly letting out of your mouth.

lol. this shit is real

So, there is this company (let's call it A) with an average idea, who got the android app and webservices from a company(B) . The service was awful but cheap. The owner of the A was a friend and gave my company the handover to manage the project. I actually ranted about that on wk11(The worst project). Now, The project was terrible. It took me months to give it any real structure, fix the services, make it compatible with iOS. Now, that majority of the work was done, suddenly we were too expensive and the work was being given to another company while much of our payment wasn't going to come(Friggin company politics). But, guess which company did the project now go to, it was 'B'.
After a couple of weeks I see, inline styles and js errors start emerging on the website.
Tell you what, if there's any justice in this world, he will one day come back to me and then I will respectfully tell him to fuck off!
Thank goodness there's devRant to just whine about this shit!

Company: we care about work/life balance (as long as shit gets done)

Company: we care about mental well-being (except when shit has to be done "now!")

Company: we help each other (we push work around until someone finally do it)

Company: management is here to help you do your work (as long as you don't ask them to help you to solve a real problem)

Company: we are agile (except we have more sub-processes than ever)

Company: we only hire best (and then put them in the team of morons)

Company: we are customer centric (that's why we are delivering bugged features)

Company: we constantly rise the bar (deliver more shit in shorter time)

... did I forget about something?

School sent out a mass email asking students to stop using VPNs to get around sites being blocked. They say their technology team is working on improving filters and shit. Let's be real that isn't going to stop ANYONE lmfao...

"You claim you are a developer and don't know what firebase is? Pfft"

Words uttered by one of my classmates flexing on some 4th semester college inmates. I don't know what's more annoying his squeaky voice, the pretentiousness of using headphones as a necklace during class or that I was just like him when I was a freshman (minus the low hanging fruit flexing).

God fucking damn, I'm not even mad at his obnoxious pampered kid semblance, it's the irony of this enlightened fago falling into the god forsaken rat race. Why?

Because he hasn't been magnanimously disappointed by one of the most corrupt systems I've ever been witness of, yeah keep talking about firebase to the teacher who just nods pretending she knows what you are talking about.

I've had this same teacher before and your nice asynchronous ES6 express nosql solution will come last compared to all the WordPress templates she'll approve because they are pretty and all the time you invested, yeah, right into the crapper, seriously it would've been more satisfying to just masturbate everyday until Christmas break. I'm not pissed at him, annoyed by his semblance maybe, but I actually pitty him because the system will take a big shit on his face and he's just smiling.

Damn it, all these careers ruined by lazy ass professors who think leaving a shitload of diagrams as homework counts as teaching. And before any quirky brother interjects with "oh maybe your University is shit", "muh University verry gut u suk", you shut the fuck up! I know my university sucks even tho is "one of the best ones" by the corrupt media's standards, I'm here to vent about issues, real fucking issues happening in real corrupt systems, I'm taking about professors sexually abusing students, not going to classes, no centralized teaching systems, fucking chaos.

I'm happy for you if you feel good about the piece of paper you hang on your wall that certifies you as Bobby the guy who not only learned a shit load about computers, he also bent his ass so far for us and payed us so much money for it, it's funny he thinks himself as smart.

I know, I know, you went to an ivy league college, have a wonderful job and owe some money, good for you, some are not so lucky and I'll make sure those lazy asses who take advantage of the system lose their jobs.

I'm so sick of this shit we call "moodern educashion"

Beware: this is me expressing how I feel about my programming/my skillset, and so on. It might be imposter syndrome but I am having a fucking bad episode right now and I just need to get this the fuck out.

I work at a distribution center right now. Can I provide for myself? Yes. Do I even slightly like my work? No I fucking hate it to the point. I hate going there every day, doing shit I don't like, not being able to focus on the shit I love but that's it for me for now.

In my free time I still am able to program a little but then the (I will call it imposter syndrome for now as I have no clue how to call it) imposter syndrome comes looking around the FUCKING corner.

*What the fuck are you doing? For real man, someone else could do that like way fucking better*

*Wow man your code..... there are so many people who would write that a million times better*

*You have re-written this for 10 times now. But seriously, this still sucks fucking balls*.

Fucking hell. Yes, at programming level I am still a junior, I fucking know that. But it fucking sucks feeling like anyone but you would do the shit you're making better anyways.

How fucking down can you get yourself. How bad can you make yourself feel through just a few fucking words/thoughts.

The only thing I am happy about right now is the fact that a very good friend is able to keep me at least slightly sane right now.

Warning: contains swearwords!

Do you guy's also have coder-"friend" that:
- Always asks how to do things
- ask for code snippets
- steals your fucking code from Anydesk
- steals your passwords while testing
- steals your code from deobfuscated jar
- steals your jar and deobfuscate it
- steals your database to store stolen passphrases
- tries to convince you to build RATs for your users
- tries to convince you to build RATs for his users
- and so on...

??FOR FUCKING REAL THIS ISN'T EVEN ALL THAT HAPPENED TO ME!

HE IS A FUCKING SUCKER CUNT! HE PROMISED ME MULTIPLE TIMES THAT HE DELETED MY PROJECTS AND TELLS ME HE IS STILL USING THEM TO RESEARCH MY CODE FOR HIS CODE!!!

HE FUCKING RECORDED ME WHILE CODING WITH AN API I AM NOT USED TO WHILE I ASK HIM FREQUENTLY BECAUSE I HAVE NO CLUE AND HE THEN SENDS IT TO HIS FRIENDS TO PISS ME OF AND LAUGH ABOUT ME!!

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE WHY THE FUCK ARE ASSHOLES LIKE HIM NOT IN FUCKING PSYCHIATRY!

AND I CAN'T GET RID OF HIM BECAUSE I AM TOO FUCKING NICE!!

FOR GODS SAKE PLS LET A LIGHTNING STRIKE HIT HIM IN HIS FUCKING FACE!

AT FUCKING LEAST I GOT SENT AN IMAGE OF HIS ADDRESS SO I WILL SHIT IN A FUCKING BOX AND SEND IT TO THAT CUNT!

I decided to setup a little server on my local network just to make use of a 2TB harddrive I use to store videos.

Told everyone in the house I planned to grow the library over time and that they could access it all in a browser using my system name. It's become quite a fun venture and my video library is shaping up nicely.

Using nginx on a Dell XPS 17 with Ubuntu 16.04 to host a server that just auto indexes a shared directory on my external 2TB harddrive. Kind of an embarrassing rig, but it's just a hobby activity and I do plan to upgrade shit later.

The real fun has been getting to understand a bit more about video files. They used to be magic to me, as complex as their file extension. Now I run a script on all of my torrents which checks the video and audio codecs, converting them if they aren't supported by Chrome's and Firefox's web players, and outputting mp4s using ffmpeg. I feel like I have this stuff down fairly well now. Becoming more and more automated.

Next step is to port forward so I can access it from anywhere, but we'll see about that later down the line.

No... No... No!

The game engine is not in charge of code optimisation, if your program runs like ass; it is 99% going to be your fault...

Sick of seeing people judge engines because of the poorly optimised things made in them by half assed developers... Why do the good things never get any attention where the shit gets all of it... Why?!

(Just had someone crack the shits at me because I'm not using a 'real' engine and am not a a 'real' developer because I'm not using unreal... So I'm in a fan-fucking-tastic mood after that :-D)

Focus on algorithms first and syntax last. Solve problems, then code.
If it uses power, has an I/O interface, and stores code, you can do stuff.
Dont get caught up in the little shit like specific code formatting and who's right or wrong between tabs or spaces. (It should be TABS anyway.)
Don't take shit from anyone.
Be confident not cocky.
Learn GIT as much as you can.
Don't burn out.
Get up and stretch.
Don't argue with your Operating Systems professor about why you shouldn't have to learn Linux.
Don't fall into the "I want to be a game developer" trap. Make your own games on your own time. You won't learn shit at school about it.
9/10 of the real world workforce is who you know, so don't be a dick. Those people might be the difference between Ramen noodles and steak dinner for you.
Charge market competitive rates and set an hourly rate that defines the clientele you deal with.
Don't ever, EVER, do trade or spec work. Free work don't pay the bills. Always start the clock when you're not sleeping, eating, or shitting. If you're emailing, calling, texting, or otherwise interacting with or on behalf of a client, bill them. Don't be a bitch when they decide they don't want to pay you. Get yours. Watch "Fuck You. Pay Me." at least once a month on YouTube.

I can't help but be disappointed in the direction that technology has directed us into, especially social media.

While I love my girlfriend, she more often than not spends her time scrolling away at the dumbest shit on Instagram, Facebook, .. reels. Reels everywhere. And she's not dumb, mind you. She's an engineer just as much as you (presumably) and I are. Just in a different field.

When looking into it online and stumbling upon more than one study, I learned about the term it had been coined.. technoference. That's the constant interruption of social media into our day-to-day lives, and the dopamine kick it gives -- more so than IRL peers do. Why that is, being the digital equivalent to McDonald's, that's beyond me. But somehow it seems to be better, all while the content isn't even useful. It doesn't allow you to learn anything, to gain insights, or to explore things that could serve you in the real world. Cat videos and random shit that's somehow.. funny? Having pretty much completely disconnected from social media years ago, I seriously fail to see how.

Maybe us nerds in the 90's and early 2000's telling everyone else how we'd change the world and prove everyone who called us freaks wrong, disenchanted as we were (and probably still are), were the catalyst for this social disaster. We had the cognitive skills to do it, but not the social equivalent. I feel guilty... Even though I've always been part of a big tech resistance in some capacity, I still feel guilty. Because I'm one of those people with the skills of those who created this trash fire of a societal status quo. Everyone glued to their screens, 95% of the time not for work. Not even to aid one's ability to function in the real world. Just to combat boredom. All day, for many hours on end.

Where is it going to end? When will people realize the dystopia we got ourselves into? Will anyone but a few fight it? Would those who don't fight it even care?

I went on an interview was given an algorithm to solve, solved it in 30 mins and they had allocated 20 mins for it. So I guess I suck. I build shit, I don't do algos that often so I'm obviously rusty.

interviewer: so why should we hire you over a CS graduate.

me: cause I can get shit done.

... akward silence

interviewer: what do you mean by that? like html and CSS?

me: as you can see, I have built large scale real-time web apps with React/Redux (the stack they supposedly use and the position they're hiring for!) the knowledge I have is practical, it can't be learned from books, and it can't be learned from a course. Only building, breaking and rebuilding over time will teach you this knowledge. So essentially a CS grad, who hasn't committed the same amount of hours as I have, can't possibly match me. But they probably can better explain the real world applications of using linked lists...and won't have to Google what Pascal's triangle is like I had to....

interviewer: I see. we will be in touch.

lol well I guess they'll be in touch..

Why does the idea of having to develop social skills somehow seem to scare the fuck out of a large portion of you?

Is being a likeable human being such a weird concept? What do you expect? To people just validate your entire existence based on how good you can sit in front of a set of monitors and push code out? Thousands of monkeys can do that shit. Thousands of systems will eventually do such things.

for whatever reason the "I am a fucking asshole that can code" trope seems to be a "real thing" amongst developers. A mfker can know waaaaaaay less than you, have the same credentials (degrees etc) and will get the job because you were too busy building an online persona governing how better you are than everyone else. How "quirky" and Sheldon Cooper like you are. You think that makes you likeable? "i don't need to be likeable" <---- yes the fuck you are, because this shit is something in which people can be trained upon.

A team, regardless of how much you agree with this, can choose a person solely based on how well he/she/whatever clicks with them. You might be the end all be all of development, but if they don't like you or feel you will not be someone worthwile to be around, will not chose you. They will go with the charismatic newbie that can learn the same shit you so dear hold on to, because they are likeable.

Sticking to a merit based "I am the best there is" asshole mentality is a thing of the fucking past, boomer mentality. For which newer generations are parting ways with, with still profitable results. workable results. Production ready results.

Yet you chose to stick to a "I might be a quirky annoying fuck, but I am the best" mentality?

This is why you were bullied. This is why you can't get any dick, this is why you can't get any pussy, this is why you sit your ass in your little dark room trying to convince yourself that being lonely is a choice, not a situation in which you put your ass in. This is why I also dislike developers online.

Most of you might be the nicest mfkers on the planet when dealing with on a face to face basis, but if you put this shit on a screen for the world to see you will be viewed upon as some dickhead.

Fuck this "code is my life" mentality, shit is but a paycheck, a craft is not a glimpse into what you are as a person, but a way in which you make a paycheck. Molding your personality, based on what you do for a living, really?

Damn man, shit is just so fucking sad. So cringeworthy even.

The education system is a fucking joke. How do you get through all the required courses and get to the capstone course where your one goal is to build a simple prototype of a project(like a simple website) for a real world client and not know HTML or CSS when you spent a whole fuckboy semester on a class dedicated to HTML, css, JavaScript and the teacher gave you the PHP. Not only that but you can't even figure out how to use a simple google search to look up the documentation on any of these topics or even the easy to follow tutorials littering the internet on how to use Bootstrap which is what we're fucking using to make it faster to develop the core logic of our app but all you fucking want to do is take shortcuts and create a PowerPoint presentation in google slides and make an easy project look like shit and make me and yourselves look like shit. But don't fucking worry, I'll code the whole thing in a fucking night because you didn't do your part of taking care of just the front end and planned for your incompetence and lack of questions or help. I know you're busy looking for a job for after you graduate but you can't even answer a simple programming question. Let me give you the solution on how to reverse a string, cuz you don't remember c# but it literally takes 30 seconds to google the solution that is everywhere. My project team is why no one takes a degree from this university seriously.

I'm real tired of my coworkers always trying to one up me and being elitist about their code. Like I get it, you think PHP is shit, C is so much better than Java. Wow, you must be so knowledgeable! /s

Just because you're bashing on bad languages and talking shit doesn't mean you write good code, and in fact your code isn't top quality, I've read it. All you're going to accomplish with an elitist mindset is close yourself off to improving, and that's probably the worst thing you can do as a developer.

Second day on the job, only one with no real degree in software development (did much stuff in free time, just finished school, got the job mainly because i knew people there)
So you can imagine that they were sceptic about me.

Chief executive whatever told me there is a problem with some JavaScript they can't fix cus there is no time and shit for that.
I was like ALL IN and said i could do this in a few mins.

Fixed it in 20 mins. Everyone was cheering. I was like "Well it was the right decision to not do my homework back in the days.." 😁

Fuck that bitch of a mother of mine. After what she's done to me, I would totally just fucking electrocute her (lawyers, this is a rage post not a real one, I've learnt from that previous psychiatrist that these rages can be taken improperly!) or just send a fucking EMP to her fucking "schermpkes" (EN: screens, displays, whatever! Technology!) or whatever. FUCK THAT FUCKING WHORE!!!

Yes she gave birth to me. Should I be thankful for that, in this world where for some fucking reason Flat Earthers still exist, Despastico and those goddamn fucking Paul brothers became a thing? FUCK NO!! I wish I wasn't born in the first place! Or rather, a thought that's been playing for a long time in my head. Why the fuck can't I just cryo myself and be reborn in the next millennium?! No, that's not possible because as it is now, humanity will likely have fucked up the planet by then. Majority of the people are still no more than self-jerking fucking monkeys. With their Instagram geotagging shit all over the place, nametests and shit like that. FUUUUUUUUUCKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!! Why are people like this?!!!! Why can't people be a tad more intelligent, why can't people actually learn about what this reality is all about?! Why is the burden of all this on scientists, no those who spoonfeed information into the mouths of the masses, like fucking Hashem Al-Ghaili (which is an amazing person but he's doing too much spoonfeeding IMO). WHY?!!! WHY AM I BORN IN THIS FUCKING DYSTOPIA?!!!!

WHY AM I BORN IN THIS FUCKING WORLD WHERE PEOPLE ARE INDOCTRINATED INTO "NOTHING TO HIDE, NOTHING TO FEAR"?!!!!! WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY?!!!!!!!! You've got a fucking brain, USE IT!!!!

I fucking hate this world. Someone hire a hitman on the darkweb to kill me and that fucking whore that gave birth to me, NOW!!!

Paper: "Net worth of Jeff Bezos crossed $150 billion"

Me: Why do I give a shit? It was at 132B before, now it's 150B. He was the richest guy before, he still is now. Apart from a few numbers on paper, nothing's really changed. Show some real news and stop wasting my time with this shit.

Commit Message Part2:
6528fff Code was clean until manager requested to fuck it up
241b35f Who knows WTF?!
4381a32 Argh! About to give up :(
c3bf1a9 more debug... who overwrote!
2d68d6d Fixed a bug cause Maciej said to
b112c1a This branch is so dirty, even your mom can't clean it.
bb456d4 Shit code!
4878b46 Copy-paste to fix previous copy-paste
e2c7e87 A fix I believe, not like I tested or anything
f56109f derpherp
e4b8f4c formatted all
3691208 I'm just a grunt. Don't blame me for this awful PoS.
0888b69 just checking if git is working properly...
62741aa I'm too old for this shit!
0735196 COMMIT ALL THE FILES!
09caccf I CAN HAZ PYTHON, I CAN HAZ INDENTS
1e1cda8 giggle.
ab70bde Fixed errors
934436d Now added delete for real
5f84e30 My bad
99baff8 CHRIS, WE WENT OVER THIS. C++ IO SUCKS.
953473d final commit.
f0c3b57 Just committing so I can go home
4e5ce4e yolo push
deb4e3b I CAN HAZ PYTHON, I CAN HAZ INDENTS
710c06a Commit committed....
3c45e67 it is hump day _^_
4487788 Committing in accordance with the prophecy.
bf86e7e This solves it.
4804f68 FONDLED THE CODE
051d42e REALLY FUCKING FIXED

Today the CEO asked us to create KPIs to follow a junior tasks, daily.
The problem it's he wants KPIs to foretell problems or delays in his tasks.

The junior is analyzing 14 years old C++ code, made by an electrical engineer who had all worsts practices possible when coding.

We explained that we couldn't make real, true KPI that would foretell the advancement due to complexity of the legacy and the fact that the junior had NEVER USED C++.

SO.... He asked to know how many code lines he made daily and an estimate of how many lines he'll have to do to complete the task.... So he could foretell advancement.

....
....

It was the 5th time in less than 60 days, that the CEO bypass totally the CTO to ask some stupid useless shit. So now all developpers have resign, complaining about the CEO actions/stupidity.

Junior dude in my team: Started working with the expectation to get dirty and go deep into technology (he was in fact a mathematician). The first two months he was happy like a little puppy playing around. Then suddenly he started talking about getting more responsibilities and beeing more a manager than a dev (because development is too stressful). Then on his last day of the probation period he quit out of nowhere because he got a job offer from a place he really wanted to go. He bought one beer per person in my team, but haven't invited my boss to that event. We suddenly realize why: He talked real shit about him!

What a dick!

writing library code is hard.

there are sooo many details that go into writing good libraries:

designing intuitive and powerful apis
deciding good api option defaults, disallowing or warning for illegal operations

knowing when to throw, knowing when to warn/log
handling edge cases
having good code coverage with tests that doesn't suck shit, while ensuring thry don't take a hundred years to run

making the code easy to read, to maintain, robust
and also not vulnerable, which is probably the most overlooked quality.

"too many classes, too little classes"

the functions do too much it's hard to follow them
or the functions are so well abstracted, that every function has 1 line of code, resulting in code that is even harder to understand or debug (have fun drowning in those immense stack traces)

don't forget to be disciplined about the documentation.

most of these things are
deeply affected by the ecosystem, the tools of the language you're writing this in:

like 5 years ago I hated coding in nodejs, because I didn't know about linters, and now we have tools like eslint or babel, so it's more passable now

but now dealing with webpack/babel configs and plugins can literally obliterate your asshole.

some languages don't even have a stable line by line debugger (hard pass for me)

then there's also the several phases of the project:

you first conceive the idea, the api, and try to implement it, write some md's of usage examples.

as you do that, you iterate on the api, you notice that it could better, so you redesign it. once, twice, thrice.

so at that point you're spending days, weeks on this side project, and your boss is like "what the fuck are you doing right now?"

then, you reach fuckinnnnng 0.1.0, with a "frozen" api, put it on github with a shitton of badges like the badge whore you are.

then you drop it on forums, and slack communities and irc, and what do you get?

half of the community wants to ban you for doing self promotion

the other half thinks either
a) your library api is shitty
b) has no real need for it
c) "why reinvent the wheel bruh"

that's one scenario,

the other scenario is the project starts to get traction.

people start to star it and shit.
but now you have one peoblem you didn't have before: humans.

all sorts of shit:

people treating you like shit as if they were premium users.

people posting majestically written issues with titles like "people help, me no work, here" with bodies like "HAAAAAAAAAALP".

and if you have the blessing to work in the current js ecosystem, issues like "this doesn't work with esm, unpkg, cdnjs, babel, webpack, parcel, buble, A BROWSER".
with some occasional lunatic complaining about IE 4 having a very weird, obscure bug.

not the best prospect either.

Let me tell you a story.

Our company has a homegrown monitoring solution. Keeps track of our deployments and alerts us when something is broken. Really nice for the most part, except a little issue where we get up to 25 alerts PER DAY that our PRODUCTION ENVIRONMENT IS DOWN. Including weekends.

With this many false positives, we quickly learn to ignore the alerts and miss real incidents.

So we approached this team, remember its our own tool, and told them about the problem. Turns out it is a known issue. And here's the kicker: they aren't planning on fixing it!

It gets better. Rather than fix this glaring issue, their solution is to make ANOTHER ALERT that lets us know the monitoring is misbehaving.

To recap, we can now expect to get up to 25 false positive alerts per day that our production is down, followed immediately by more alerts that the monitor is broken, which means we can ignore the previous alert.

As our PM said when he heard this: fuck that noise. We are escalating the shit out of this!

An un-rant on Universities. (UC Irvine)

A lot of my friends and I are about to graduate 👨‍🎓 from UCI, with Computer Science degrees.

Most of them are complaining that they don't know any current frameworks, and all that we learned is outdated.
And that pretty much any bootcamper knows more tools that any of us do.

I totally disagree. I don't think it's the university's job to teach you tools (node, tencerflow, ...), rather, I think they made us into programming Swiss Army knifes. I can pick up any framework (I wanna be a web dev) real easy, and when shit breaks down, I can easily figure out the issue.

I think that's the major difference between Computer Scientists and Bootcampers/Programmers. We know "why", while they know "how".

What do you think? Is the current price of a CS degree worth it?

Why does almost everyone act as if the world they live in is perfect, or is supposed to be perfect?

This is about approaching IT infrastructures, but goes way beyond IT, into daily lives.

Daniel Kahneman wrote about the "Econs" - a mythical creature that behaves according to rules and rational thoughts, that everybody is guided by, as opposed to Humans, who are irrational, intuitive and emotional.
My beef is with a wider perception, beyond economical analysis, profit, investment and so on.

Examples:
Organization A uses a 15 year old system that is crappy beyond description, but any recent attempt to replace it have failed. Josh thinks that this is a crappy organization, any problem lies within the replacement of that system, and all resources should be devoted to that. Josh lives in a perfect world - where shit can be replaced, where people don't have to live with crappy systems. Josh is stupid, unless he can replace that old system with something better. Don't be Josh. Adapt to the fucking reality, unless you have the power to change it.

Peter is a moron who downloads pirated software with cracks, at the office. He introduced a ransomware that encrypted the entire company NAS. Peter was fired obviously, but Sylvia, the systems administrator, got off easily because Peter the moron was the scapegoat. Sylvia truly believes that it's not her fault, that Peter happened to be a cosmic overgrown lobotomized amoeba. Sylvia is a fucking idiot, because she didn't do backups, restrict access, etc. Because she relied on all people being rational and smart, as people in her imaginary world would be.

Amit finished a project for his company, which is a nice modern website frontend. Tom, the manager says that the website doesn't work with Internet Explorer 8, and Amit is outraged that Tom would even ask this, quoting that IE8 is a dinosaur that should've been euthanized before even hatching. Amit doesn't give a shit about the fact that 20% of the revenue comes from customers that use IE8, what's more important to him is that in his perfect imaginary world everybody uses new hardware and software, and if someone doesn't - it's their fault and that's final. Amit is a fucking asshole. Don't be like Amit.

React to the REAL world, not what you WANT the world to be. Otherwise you're one of them.
The real world can be determined by looking at all the fuck ups and bad situations, admit that they happen, that they're real, that they will keep happening unless you do something that will make them impossible to happen or exist.

Acting as if these bad things don't exist, or that they won't exist because someone would or should change it, is retarded.

Holy shit! Albert Einstein is a real person!

My whole life I thought he was a theoretical physicist.

Resumes don't mean jack shit!!

I just got off an interview call with a candidate for a hardware role. On paper this guy is absolute gold, having worked for some of the best robotics companies and research groups(in India at least) It took me an hour to realize that the was just spitting out buzz words. So I started asking him some very fundamental questions, like ohms law and such.. high school stuff. But, phrased in real world terms. And it took me another half an hour to realize that the guy is dumber than a sack of peanuts!

I can't believe how easy it is for people to coast by on paths paved by seniors and teammates. By any objective assessment this guy would be lucky to get a job as an electrician and instead I'm wasting my time interviewing him for a six figure salary (well, the Indian equivalent). Gaaah!!

//begin midnight rant

THATS IT, I AM PISSED OFF NOW ABOUT THIS SNAPCHAT SHIT!!!

I DON'T GIVE A FUCK !!!

I DIDN'T GIVE A FUCK WHEN SNAP CHAT WAS INVENTED

I DIDN'T GIVE A FUCK WHEN WATSAPP COPIED ITS FEATURE(yeah I haven't seen your pathetic story)

AND I ALSO DONT GIVE A FLYING FUCK ABOUT THE SHIT ITS GOTTEN INTO NOW.

as a guy who is allergic to people I stay the fuck away from such apps.

but for God's sake get real u shit heads... Uninstalling an app is not an achievement worth bragging about( there is a drag and drop interface for it in ur Android phone)

Here is a guy who started his own company when he graduated from college and is providing employment to 100s of ppl and ur going to put that at risk just because your fragile ego was hurt because of "poor country " comment fuck u do your research that comment was made in 2015 when a monthly 1gb 3g internet would burn a hole in your pocket

Go screw yourselves u brain dead pieces of shit if u r so worked up about being called a poor country then start a company and provide jobs for the people who are struggling(why would you when uninstalling an app is so much easier).

Any one with 300 mg of common sense would have realize that the video would have difficulty in buffering in your slow ass 2g internet pack in your phone in 2015 when Jio sim was not yet introduced.

People like you are the reason I wish the super villains would win at the end of sifi movies.

I hope God(if there is one and if ever he decides to give a fuck) would give the guys who built this app the strength to get through this shit storm

PEACE OUT

//End of mid night rant

Why is it that when someone mentions they really like windows or that someone should/might want to install windows, hardly anything happens (maybe some funny comments from linuxers but no hate or anything) (same goes for OSX) but when someone makes the same comment about linux, they get burned into the ground as a 'Linux nazi'? I am not only talking about devRant (it happens here sometimes as well) but also about my study and real life.

If someone would mention that it might be useful to install windows or OSX over Linux, it was all good but the FUCKING SECOND I mention it might be useful (or other linuxers) to use/install Linux, we are immediately put away as Linux nazi's.

On devRant I've tried to keep this shit to myself because I don't want to start wars but I think I am going to quit doing that and actually show my fucking opinion. Yes, that might also result in some people seeing me as a fucking linux nazi but fuck being burned into the ground every time I give my opinion regarding this.

Fucking hell. (nothing personal to any devRanters by the way but I am starting to get really tired of this shit).

>On a call with Manager
>he's showing off some code
>oh cool he's finally assigning me some real work

PM: So yeah, just wanted to have you on a call to show you how easy it was to fix this.

Me: ... Oh... OK.

PM: yeah so this was completely broken. The last guy that was working on this didn't do a great job. Like seriously, what is this? Amateur hour? Hahaha

Me:... Haha... Yeah, right... 🫠

PM: anyways I figured I would go ahead and do this because it would take me 10 minutes to figure out. It would probably would have taken you 3 hours or something to figure out.

Me: ok... <why tf am on this call other than for you to shit on my skills?>

PM: anyways just wanted to walk you through what I did and show you how easy it was to fix.

Me: ok.

1.
!dev

Found a gray hair and plucked it. 😢 I'm too young for this shit. Whyyyyy oh god whyyyyy.

2.
Linux 5.8 has been breaking my shit. Like, keyboard and track pad stop working. Apparently, a fn key is to blame. Fixed it for now, but can Linux kernel fuck off? I can't have my system break so often. This is the third time I'm reverting or man handling the shit in the last two months.

3.
I need a good expensive fucking vacation. 😢 And a dedicated eye candy (gender doesn't apply) to keep in my line of sight. Maybe then I can recover.

4.
The last 7 days were an emotional rollercoaster. Specifically, from work perspective. I need many hugs. Like, real hugs. Also need good food. 😢

5.
Overall, I shouldn't be stressed but shit is not going great. 😭😭😭

FUCK LINUX

now that I have your attention, and you’re probably angry, too, please, even if you don’t read this rant, never use code.org again. now, onto the rant…

god dammit, code.org sucks. I mean, anyone who created it or associates with it should, well, be considered a terrorist. they’re bombing students futures in computer science with false, useless, bullshit information. not to mention, their sponsors like bill gates, mark zuckerburg, and other rich asses, talk in a video about some boring ass shit that is hard to understand for anyone who doesn’t program, and not to mention, they use a fucking five dollar microphone. ear rape. even if you look at a textual version of it, then read the information on it, it’s practically useless because it's so terribly explained, and also useless. ironically enough, they focus on their animations more than their actual explinations, or their students for that matter. the fact that we had to encode a picture in binary, made me about 50% dumber, give or take a 0 or 1. then, we had to do it in hex, which wasn’t really much better, although more realistic I supposed. what's really the most depressing thing about this class is its application in the real world. I've learnt nothing whatsoever that will help me in the real world, or in computer science. I suppose there's two things that may be useful (that I already knew): hex, and that TCP doesn't lose packets. that's it. those two things. five seconds worth of knowledge from the first quarter of the year. the ideas just make me want to throw up. teaching the main ideas of computer science without actually teaching it? one of the teachers (probably a good one) enrolled her students in an online programming course just so they could understand, because the explanations are just so terrible. this is the only [high school] computer science course offered by code.org, and I signed up because it's an AP computer science class (tried to get into AP Java, the day I was supposed to take the test to get into an upper level class, I was told it didn't count as a tech credit). seriously, fuck code.org. it makes you dumber. their 'app lab' environment is pointless, just like everything else. the app lab is basically where you have a set of commands and have to make a dog bark() or a storm trooper miss() [and that's hell when they haven't introduced while loops yet]. the app lab is literally code.org going out of their way to make everything that their students are learning pointless in the real world. seriously, why can't we just use a <canvas> like an ACTUAL PROGRAMMER would do if they were to make a browser game, not use an app engine so slow it would be faster to update windows and android studio each time I run an 'app' in their 'environment'. their excuse is that the skills "transfer over" to the real world. BITCH! IF I DIDN'T KNOW JAVA, AND I WANTED TO MAKE A GAME IN JAVA, I'M NOT GOING TO LEARN PYTHON, THEN "TRANSFER" THE SKILLS I LEARNT, I'M GOING TO LEARN FUCKING JAVA. AND THAT GOES FOR EVER OTHER LANGUAGE, PROJECT, ETC.

I'm begging you code.org, stop, get help.

I am quitting my job in the next couple of weeks. I don't even have a job lined up. I can't deal with doing Design work as a developer when you have a whole ass design team. Like what the fuck. Then I nearly do development. Oh and your gonna bitch at me when I mess up in design, then threaten to fire me? Well you can shove that shit all up your entire ass. Fuck this Job. I am doing my own thing. I don't care if I become homeless cause Fuck I'll be more happier I did that then be at this concentration camp. I am gonna live my life and own. Cause fuck everything corporate Jobs is fucking life sucking. Please Fire me. I GIVE NO FUCKS ANYMORE. Sick of being depressed and stressed. I want to be a real developer!!!! argghhhhhhhhhhhh

Now I know this buzzword shit is real

devrant is the only community that I feel comfortable in.

I've been browsing since 2000 and been in many communities online so far, so that's saying a lot.

I've seen supportive comments towards me and others here, and that really makes me feel less hopeless.

I think the internet in general makes you feel like you're a number. Click the like and the sub button, just be one more in a million.

But here, you matter.
If you try to post something and you are sincere, but humble people will ++ and say nice comments.

If you get upvoted, you can WHO did it and what their online persona looks like.
It feels very organic and personal, which is saying a lot for a place like the internet.

In the standard online experience, people online take advantage of the anonymity to say shit they wouldn't online:
anything, from troll shit to presumptuous comments.

I don't understand how some people can connect being anonymous with denying themselves as moral beings.

Do these people walk around in real life fighting with every person that has an opposite point of view?

There's actual people out there that will read this post and think "what a fucking boy scout".
Sorry for having emotions.

how many fucked up people are there, so that devrant feels like a goddamn mirage?

It has been bugging the shit out of me lately... the sheer number of shit-tier "programmers" that have been climbing out of the woodwork the last few years.

I'm not trying to come across as elitist or "holier than thou", but it's getting ridiculous and annoying. Even on here, you have people who "only do frontend development" or some other lame ass shit-stain of an excuse.

When I first started learning programming (PHP was my first language), it wasn't because I wanted to be a programmer. I used to be a member (my account is still there, in fact) of "HackThisSite", back when I was about 12 years old. After hanging out long enough, I got the hint that the best hackers are, in essence, programmers.

Want to learn how to do SQL injection? Learn SQL - write a program that uses an SQL database, and ask yourself how you would exploit your own software.

Want to reverse engineer the network protocol of some proprietary software? Learn TCP/IP - write a TCP/IP packet filter.

Back then, a programmer and a hacker were very much one in the same. Nowadays, some kid can download Python, write a "hello, world" program and they're halfway to freelancing or whatever.

It's rare to find a programmer - a REAL programmer, one who knows how the systems he develops for better than the back of his hand.

These days, I find people want the instant gratification that these simpler languages provide. You don't need to understand how virtual memory works, hell many people don't even really understand C/C++ pointers - and that's BASIC SHIT right there.

Put another way, would you want to take your car to a brake mechanic that doesn't understand how brakes work? I sure as hell wouldn't.

Watching these "programmers" out there who don't have a fucking clue how the code they write does what it does, is like watching a grown man walk around with a kid's toolbox full or plastic toys calling himself a mechanic. (I like cars, ok?!)

*sigh*

Python, AngularJS, Bootstrap, etc. They're all tools and they have their merits. But god fucking dammit, they're not the ONLY damn tools that matter. Stop making excuses *not* to learn something, Mr."IOnlyDoFrontEnd".

Coding ain't Lego's, fuckers.

I suddenly realized all the technical debt shit I told my boss would happen years ago given the way things were done/heading then... Just occurred pretty much all at once last week in the form of critical production issues...

The teams like:
-we need real time server process monitoring
-structured logging for apps
-containerization so one app didn't affect others

Me thinking: yes.... I told you so like 3/4 years ago when I first joined the team and kept repeating so much I got tired of saying at every annual review...

This is exactly what happens when you let technical debt grow and have no free time for developers to look into and fix then while they were small and not critical production processes... Or properly document and peer review them... (Got a shit pile of projects that no one knows how to use or even exists because the devs left the team) and they'll have a lot more when I finally leave... Hopefully this year.... If I can find another role and not need another medical procedure... (Doubtful)

27 years old, been in 3 jobs. Hired in a new job. Confidence has went up and down like shit. Life has become more real than ever before.

What have I learned through all these bumpy rides?

Life is journey, it goes up and it goes down. But what you may not realize is that everything that happens to you, is for you to learn.

Happy Friday to everyone in this unknown path, just enjoy that you are alive, can breathe and see things with your magical eyes.

God exists for sure.

Splash pages. Remember that crap from 20 years ago? That was a home page with some "click to enter" nonsense to get to the actual home page. Laughably stupid.

Today's empty home pages where you have to scroll down to get to any real content is exactly the same moronic pattern, just by another name: showing off useless design wankery and forcing user interaction to bypass it. Fuck you if you still do that shit.

My dev role model is my senior who taught me JavaScript when I was a noob. He was so cool. One of the few real programmers who enjoy their work in a clusterfuck world of idiots who pretend for money.

His philosophy sticks with me even today. I was new to the industry and the long hours of low pay intern work were getting to me. But he kept reminding me that programming still has this cool, engineering side where you blitz stuff out on a keyboard and build awesome shit.

I owe him my career because without him I'd still be one of the other stooges who bitch about the job and avoid studying. But since working with him, I never speak bad about my profession. Programming is a beautiful profession, even if the people I work with are sometimes dumbfuck dicks. And he taught me that distinction.

*removes Paint 3D as well as a bunch of other apps that I never use*
*Windows shits the bed every now and then again, BSOD here and there like the usual piece of shit it is*
After a few of those occurences..

Windows: Oh look, you want to open this PNG image? Well I guess that I'll open it in my newly (re)installed Paint 3D!!!

Me: For real, Microshit. Just how pushy can you fucking be. If I want to edit images, I'll just use the "legacy" fucking Paint for that, thanks!!! No need to convince me anymore, and get this 3D shit out of my fucking system already!!!

PS C:\WINDOWS\system32> Get-AppxPackage *paint* | Remove-AppxPackage

AND NOW JUST FUCK OFF, FUCKING PAINT 3D!!!

My progression of learning git rebase:

Year 1: WTF just happened?! Where is my code?! *deletes and re-clones repo*

Year 2: Ok if I do it suuuper carefully I can get the other dev's one-line change into my branch...shit...shit...wait...fuck...oh lol it worked.

Year 3: Oh yeah let me organize my commits real quick. *drop pick pick squash reword pick fixup drop pick* *git push -f* 😎

OK heavy rant on 'modern' software development coming! --> don't take it to seriously though :-)

Electron... why does that shit exist? It is like stacking all the worst technologies available to mankind into an enormous pile of crap and polishing that turd to look like something wonderful. It is big, slow and overall AWFUL!

An example? ... Microsoft Teams :-( it burns your PC like fire and makes it squeal for mercy.

When a library/framework becomes the ultimate evolution of abstraction layer upon abstraction layer and it simply should stop to exist and a reset button needs to be pressed.

I would love to see some research on the real world environmental impact that all those shitty slow and bloated web technologies have.

Solution:

Software energy label!

C, C++ and Rust e.t.c. and all accompanying efficient UI libraries should be the only languages/implementations allowed to get a A, B and C label.

Python (without C libraries like Numpy), JavaScript and all those other slow interpreted scripting/Web API nonsense should get a D, E or F label by default.

Have fun!

Today is the real fuckening at work. The worst part is, you are working your ass off and someone started bugging you constantly on chat and blaming it is effecting his "productivity" because tech team doesn't solve his problem.

I have 4 projects under me with doing day to day operations also. But yeah just few more months before I left this shit. I wanted to shout back, but tried to keep my head cool, though I have already kicked his face many times in my mind.

If you cannot help, at least stop being a dick and appreciate someone trying his best to solve problems.

It is time. I have to admit it.

I don't understand Git.

I just memorized some basic commands: git commit, git push, git push -u origin master, git clone, git checkout [-B], git merge. That's it, that's the full list. I use them like they're some kind of magic spells that do what I need. Everything else, those intricacies like rebasing, resetting, HEAD and all that shit, is beyond me.

I'm not a real programmer. Real programmers know Git.

Hiring process is fucking broken ok?
We all do have something else to do, nobody wants to do "homework" for 4 fucking hours. Which let's be real, isn't 4 hours. It's always more. I try to squeeze it in a least amount of time which means mistakes will be made. I always try to show my knowledge of the language and it's features. But, you didn't do X. That's it, that is a no from us.
Dude, I just wrote a high production grade small project with 90%+ test coverage and you are telling me that those 2 small shit I made is a big deal? Fuck off

Most companies I worked with have a code full of shit and here I present to you, with a poetry and it's a no because of X?

My bet is that if I ever started to work there I would find a code that isn't tested and is in shit state

\rant

Call me a spoiled Linux kid but FUCK WINDOWS UPDATE!!
It's not even the shitty deployment cycle that they have for their updates, the real cancer is the fucking update app.
First off, if you fucking piece of shit already have the audacity to load gigabytes of updates over my 0.8mbit/s connection in the background, without my goddamn consent, at least let me PAUSE the fucking download!!! I don't see why the fuck you have to block my connection, and therefore me, from the most basic things like visiting a fucking website for more than a FUCKING HOUR to load useless updates, YOU PIECE OF BLOODSTAINED SHIT, I GOT SHIT TO DO.
And it doesn't stop there, noooo: then you even have the bloody fucking nerve to FORCE ME TO INSTANTLY RESTART AND SIT THROUGH YOUR FUCKING 40 MINUTE UPDATE PROCESS WHILE IM TRYING TO WORK.. WITHOUT THE ABILIT TO DELAY THE UPDATE!!! What the fuuuck?!

It is seldom that I am this 👌 close to just dd'ing /dev/null to my windows partition. Fuck you!!

the internet was so good before corporate interests took everything over and made it garbage

before you found real people, instead of shills
real hobbies, instead of someone wanting to sell you knockoff shit by pretending to have information on your hobby
real information, instead of stupid politics which pretend information doesn't exist and keep changing Wikipedia pages or brigading forums with spam or reporting websites or servers as violating rules to remove innocent people and ruin their shit

before you could find tools and use them
and there were no ads
even when there were ads they were just banner ads where you got free iPods and maybe a virus
but they didn't subscribe you to their service monthly and then play psychological tricks on you so you couldn't cancel
even when the popups came we had popup blockers, and the web browsers were on our side and made the feature widespread and viewed the popups as malicious, and now the world's biggest ad company serves the most popular "open source" browser and is in a war against usability because they have to display their brain malware ads to you or else

and you'd get excited to get an email, instead of annoyed it's more fucking corporate spam you don't want from a random website that required you to give your email address so you could've bought a trinket for your friend Bob's birthday that one time and now their subscriber list keeps "forgetting" you unsubscribed

phones have a billion sensors but the app stores are so infested with bullshit none of it matters
it's all rot
everything is starving and making your life worse

we used to do so much with so little
and now we have so much and leave it all on the table to throw poop at each other

don't forget that brigade science tells you nostalgia is you remembering something to be better than it was. be gaslit. webpages disappear now, too. they get changed. archive.org has the records, and got DDoSed the other day. I knew this day would happen. everyone who lies would love for there to be no archives, no records. to burn the modern books

!dev

This may be a petty rant, but It's been grinding my gears for a few months now... I fucking hate ads, it's starting to be incredibly ridiculous. You start a video... 2 ads... you watch for 2 minutes, another 2 ads (and no, adblock isn't a solution, that only works on PC, not devices)?!!! You start an App... ads, you listen to music... ads... you go to google... ads, you click a website... ads... you look out of your window... ads... you walk down the street... ads... ads.. ads...
Seriously, what the fuck have we done?!! As a society we fucked up so badly... Look, no matter how many times you offer me an ad for a furniture, I'm not going to buy a fucking furniture on just any random day. You are completely wasting my already limited time... If you don't have any ads to show me, then don't show me ads, fuck you, you fucking piece of shit software... How is it that it used to be enough to click away one static, non-intrusive ad, but now 6-8 15-20 second ads, popups and intrusive, mid-content ads are the norm?! And then a piece of shit like MoviePass DARES, FUCKING DARES, To work on some sort of camera-enabled check that you actually LOOK at the ads?!!!! ARE YOU FUCKING SHITTING ME?! WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE YOU RETARDED PIECE OF BLACK MIRROR SHIT, FUCK OFF WITH THIS BRAINWASHING BULLSHIT, I'M ALLERGIC TO IT, FUCK ALL OF THIS.

I fucking promise that any software I'll make will be either free and open source, or paid only by alternative means, no ads, not ever. I will never fucking add to this retarded bullshit. Never fucking ever will I lower myself on a level where I need to actively waste the time and psyche of thousands or millions of people to get money. Fucking hell.... As if the world doesn't suck enough already, we treat humans as cattle, and It's pissing me off... In the past I used to just delete any app that annoyed me with ads, but what the fuck do I do about youtube since it's the de-facto content source on the internet? And worse, my friends and family watch youtube.. even if I avoid it that doesn't mean the problem is solved... There needs to be an alternative, and paying subscriptions for every single fucking service on the web isn't a solution. Even worse with the current economy... I'd rather eat real food, than buy shit like premium on ShitTube, Fuckify, all the random news website I might read and every app or game I start once every two months... Shit like ad-less premium accounts aren't giving me an alternative, just a way to shoot myself in the foot longterm...

Godbless everyone that releases open source software, apps, tools, websites and such. I hope to god decentralized alternatives to youtube need to happen and not in the web3 way, because that's also retarded...

Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Shit, Fuck Shit, Piss, Cocksucker, Motherfucker, Retards, Fucking absolutely disgusting pieces of shit... ... alright, I got it out of my system, but It's gonna be right back the next time YouTube forces me to look at 20 seconds of something I already skipped 48 times today...

Some more of Stux's !dev pet peeves

1) Teenagers who comment shit like "I'm from the wrong generation" or "today's music is trash. This is real music" on songs from like the 70s and 80s. Like shut the fuck up. You can like whatever music you want, but your taste in music doesn't make you unique, so just shut the fuck up and listen to the music. I was jamming out to 70s and 80s when I was 9, so you aren't the first to enjoy older music at a young age
2) "Old heads" who comment shit like "this isn't real *genre*" on a new song that isnt like the older version of that genre. News flash: music fucking evolves. Just because that country song doesn't have a twangy guitar in it, that doesn't mean the song ain't country. Just because the rap song ain't some deep ass poetic shit, it doesn't make it any less of a rap song.
3) People who edit their comments on YouTube to say shit like "wow thanks for all the likes, I wasn't expecting this." Wooptie fucking doo. Your comment got a few thousand likes. Fun fact: those likes are meaningless.
4) Humidity. Fuck that shit man.
5) General education classes. They're a fucking pain in the ass man. Like im 98% confident I don't need art history in the real world. Or mythology. "tHeY tEaCh YoU tO lEaRn." Teach me to learn in degree specific classes then. At least their content will be interesting to me.

My name is Stuxnet. Thanks for coming to my TED talk again.

So... After reading up on the theoretical stuff earlier, I decided to make a real AI that can identify handguns and decide whether it's a revolver or a semiautomatic with 95 percent accuracy...

Well, basically, I been browsing my local gun store's online store for four hours for training data, killed a Mac mini while first training the system and I think I ended on the domestic terrorism watch list... Was that black sedan always there?

Anyway... It's working fairly accurate, my monkey wrench is a revolver by the way.

Isn't AI development a wonderful excuse for all kinds of shit?

"why do you have 5000 pictures of guns on your computer?" - "AI development"

"why did you wave around a gun in front of your web cam" - "AI development"

"why is there a 50 gram bag in your desk?" - "AI development"

Hmm... yeah well... I think it might work. I could have picked a less weird testing project, but... No.

The new mobile app codebase i'm working with, was clearly written by someone who just read a book on generics and encapsulation.

I need to pull out 2 screens into a separate library to have it shared around. The 1 networking request used is wrapped up in a 'WebServiceFactory' and `WebServiceObjectMapper`, used by a `NetworkingManager` which exposes a generic `request` method taking in a `TopLevelResponse` type (Which has imported every model) which uses a factory method to get the real response type.

This is needed by the `Router` which takes a generic `Action` which they've subclassed for each and every use case needing server communication.

Then the networking request function is part of a chain of 4 near identical functions spread across 4 different files, each one doing a tiny bit more than the last and casting everything to a new god damn protocol, because fuck concrete types.

Its not even used in that many places, theres like 6 networking calls. Why are people so god damn fucking stupid and insist on over engineering the shit out of their apps. I'm fed the fuck up with these useless skidmarks.

When will I fuckin learn that
a) customers lie
b) customers are sloppy
c) customers are wrong
d) customers do not do their work (properly)
e) customers want us to do their (dirty) work
f) possibly all of the freakinly above?! + khm....

They will fuckin aaaalwaaaays say sth is not working after the update..
And I will alwaaaays assume I fucked up something..even if I didn't touch that part of the code/data..
And almost aaaaalways it turns out that the bug they complain about is how the system worked (or didn't work) before the update and/or some fuckup from their side..

Anyhow, I rushed over, grabbed the files went testing in dev..wtf, output is different, mine is ok, theirs is..wtf is that shit?!

Transfer newly built dll to test..same shit as on prod..wtf?! How?!

I assumed they have thing A correctly linked to thing B.. ofc thing A was linked to thing C in their case and in another case (our test) to correct thing B..
I got chillies when grabbing files, that
I should have tripple checked that they didn't fuck up something on the link part, but I just assumed they know what they were doing & that they checked they linked correct files with correct content already, before being pissy that the update fucked up things.. riiiight!! :/

I wanted to find solutions to this fuckup asap so I disregarded my gut feeling..yet again!! Fuuuck!
I've spent too much time trying to find ways to fix a bug that wasn't even a real bug to begin with.. :/

Fuuuuuck!!

So yeah, always treat the customers like they are 3yrs old & have no clue what they are doing & check exactly wtf they were indeed trying to do..it will save you time & nerves..

And note to self: reread this shit daily!! And imprint it in your brain that everything is not always your fault!!

Samsung Pay > Apple Pay

There I said it. After testing Apple Pay, Google Wallet, and now Samsung Pay I am convinced that Samsung Pay is the best. It works great and the rewards points that you get for using it are just awesome.

Side note: wtf Apple!? The iPhone 8 is the iPhone 7 plus wireless charging and the iPhone X is just a $1000 piece of flashy ass shit that's only real "innovations" are Face ID and animojis.

Got an email in response to an internship application asking "if you can just complete a coding challenge within next 24 hours thanks". They also wanted to me to setup a phone interview today or tomorrow. As if they expected everyone to drop everything with no explanation.

Told them I'm busy but can get started on Sunday, and was told they have assessment centres next week so it can't wait. No real apology.

I didn't set the date for the assessment centre, this is your fuckup. You have to at least feign respect when you ask for a day of my time with less than a week's notice. Been through too many bad interviews to waste my time on a company that doesn't have its shit together and/or doesn't respect interns.

Idk, maybe I overreacted. Thoughts?

Fuck... coming from a Python background learning low level stuff is hard as shit.. gonna need to learn C/C++ and some Assembly real soon!

Gotta say though, understanding that stuff makes everything have more sense all of a sudden hahah

Is obsidian a fucking joke?

Seriously, is it a joke? Why would you ever care so much about indexing literally everything, if the entire thing crashes and/or takes >5min to LITERALLY just open the fucking directory and/or (so help you) if that directory is full of projects/repos or whatever the fuck and the total size of said directory is like >5GB.

WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU INDEX EVERYTHING? -- "Ohh obsidian's not supposed to be used a fully fledged IDE, ohh obsidian should just handle MD files and normal sized projects, ohh the plugins and ease-of-use" -- Fuck.

There's no fucking real reason to index everything, BY DEFAULT. You open a directory with Obsidian? Doesn't matter, it's 1 byte, it's 100GB, you get indexed. Deal with it. It will use LITERALLY every resource your computer has. I'm surprised it doesn't go galaxy brain and ping if any other computers/devices are on the network and then attempt to connect and use their hardware (obsidian can be like a node!).

How shit can you be at understanding basic data structures and algorithms, where you just revert to based google-chrome brain and let the FUCKING TEXT EDITOR -- OBSIDIAN IS A FUCKING TEXT EDITOR HOLY SHIT -- hog all conceivable memory.

I swear to <some-deity> if anyone fucking says "Ohhhhhhhh actually, it's not a text editor, it has plugins and features and shit, it does all dis cool stff", OR, "Ohhhhh actually, obsidian indexes things for a very specific/rationale/apt/pragmatic/academic reason" OR "ohhhh, I have 100 iphones, 1000 ipads and a trillion desktop computers that each have 256GB of memory, why you hating on obsidian?" then go kick rocks. The fucking lot of you. Are you fucking kidding me.

I’m tired of all these profane “frontend developers” who do nothing but get cheap internet points by shitting on web technologies.

Bitch, NPM is just a package manager. That’s what it is. Anyone who ever used a package manager already knows how to use NPM.

Here on devrant, there at your workplace, people hear nothing but bitching when you open your mouth. You always need a “solid task description” and “best practices”. You always need somebody else to do your job for you. Frontend is the area where you have to constantly switch between heavy, performance-oriented coding, UX and graphic design while remaining in a dynamic environment that is called “web”, no wonder why you can’t do that. Instead of bitching, you could just present your own solution you designed with just a little bit of product-oriented thinking. But noooo, you fucking bother designers whenever you’re not sure about “how many pixels is that padding”.

You can only be barely productive (and only with a frozen spec) but can never take the lead just once.

In the 80s your kind of approaches were doubted, by the 90s they were dead. In 2020s they’re straight up laughable.

And don’t get me started on CSS. You have to be an absolute buffoon of a developer to not know how to use a DECLARATIVE tool that don’t even require real structural thinking.

No wonder why you praise php. You throw shit all over the place and tell everybody that you’re a “sociopath” and you don’t need that “stupid frontend” and “stupid users”. But you know what? Any real backend or embedded dev would’ve laughed at your face.

Because backend developers are respected.

You’re not.

The pay was good. The perks were good too. Then why the hell did I resign? Because of my manager. You won't believe he never contributed to anything. In the past two months, he didn't write a single line of code.

You may say, "he is a manager. His work is to manage people". But what?? He never allows us to talk to anyone. Sets unexpected reality in the meeting. And our CEO (a good-hearted man and good software engineer, but does not know much about ML/AI) believes in him. We are working on a product which is a piece of shit. I tried to tell everyone the reality. He stopped me. Says since I don't have experience, I don't know what is possible.

What the hell??? With current talent and resources, you are saying AI will replace humans in call centers by the end of 2019. What the FUCK!!!! I tried to write a mail to the CEO, explaining him things. He threatened me. Said he will make me lose my job. So FUCK YOU!!!! FUCK YOU!!!!!

That is the reason I am resigning. He has another 11 months to fuck the company. But I am going to a place where things are real. People know the potential and challenges of AI and are doing their best. I know, eventually, everyone will know that he is a liar. A big fucking LIAR. And he will lose his job. Not because machines will take over. But good, talented human beings will replace him.

Cracking old recovery CDs for the 9x/2000/XP era shines some light into how companies operated and when concepts came to be in that time:

Packard Bell: An EXE checks that you're running on a Packard Bell machine and reboots if it's not. How do we bypass it? Easy: just fucking delete it. The files to reinstall Windows from scratch come from...
...
C:?
Yup. Turns out Packard Bell was doing the recovery partition thing all the way back to the 9x era, maybe even further. Files aren't even on the restore disc so if your partition table got fucked (pretty common because malware and disk corruption) you were totally fucked and needed to repurchase Windows. (My dad, at the time, only charged at-cost OEM prices for a replacement retail copy. He knew it was dumb so he never sold PB machines.)

Compaq:
Computer check? Nope, remove one line from a BATCH file and it's gone.

Six archives, named "WINA.ZIP" through "WINF.ZIP" (plus one or two extras for OEM software) hold Windows. Problematic? Well... only because they never put the password anywhere so the installer can't install them. (Some interesting on-disc technician-only utils, though!)

Dell:
If not a Dell machine, lock up. Cause? CONFIG.SYS driver masquerading as OAK (the common CD driver) doing the check, then chainloading the real OAK driver. Simple fix: replace the fake driver with the real one.

Issues?

Would I mention this one if there weren't?

Disc is mounted on N:. Subdirectories work, but doing anything in them (a DIR, trying to execute something, trying to view shit in EDIT.COM) kicked you back to the disc root.

Installer couldn't find machine manifest in the MAP folder (it wanted your PC's serial before it'd let you install, to make sure you have the correct recovery disc) so it asked for 12-digit alphanumeric serial. The defined serials in the manifest were something like "02884902-01" or similar (8-2, all numbers) and it couldn't read the file so it couldn't show the right format, nor check for the right type.

Bypassing that issue, trying to do the ACTUAL install process caused nothing to happen... as all BATCHes for install think the CD should be on X:.

Welp.

well that was fun. Now to test on-real-PC behavior, as VBOX and VMWare both don't like the special hardware shit it tries to use. (Why does a textmode GUI need GPU acceleration, COMPAQ?????)

for real i can't imagine what all you people are doing wrong getting those blue screens in windows all the time reasoning your change to Linux. been using it like forever and had experienced some in the early days, very few in windows 8.1 when i was messing with some drivers and shit but not a single one since windows 10 while using it normally on a daily base.

sure, there is a lot to rant about in windows generally justifying a change to Linux but are you talking about windows 98 or fucking raping your system till it BsoD's just to point at it and say: oh Linux is so much better because i don't get BsoD's all the time? or are you using 10 year old hardware?

enlighten me pls

Last week I sent a pic of Nestle Crunch chocolate to my friend in Whatsapp. Today he told me that he got an ad in Instagram for Nestle Crunch!! Holy crap!
We were trying to figure out how did it happen because we never discussed about the chocolate other than that image. Then I realized that Whatsapp and Instagram was owned by the same fucking company - Facebook!!!

I've stopped using Facebook, Instagram for a very long time and I have ad blockers on every electronic device I touch. So I never understood the gravity of people losing shit over privacy, until today. This indeed is creepy and it hit me real hard. I'm now reading all rants with "privacy" tags and methods to harden my devices to repel from those buggers.

"Some settings are managed by your organisation"

I understand the necessity for companies to be able to remotely manage their devices, but my god, I hate working on company laptops sooo much!!

Fun fact, even Chrome can be managed! The can manage everyting. It's called Microsoft Intune. It sucks!! And fucking 45 day PW change policy! And fuck you, Windows Defender Real-time protection which I can't turn off and It's high CPU consumption. Also fuck you Microsoft Teams for scanning. Every. Single. Link. I. Click. On. From. A. Chat. Before. Redirecting. Me. To. The. Actual. Website. Always takes a couple of seconds. Waste of time. Those accumulate over time you know! AND to Windows Update! You already know what is coming next: stop force-updating while I'm in the middle of fucking meeting! I have shit to do! Another fun fact: you can postpone Windows Update by turning the clock back. LIKE PLAYING AN OLD TIME-BASED STRATEGY GAME ON PC IN 1999. (12h work best.) And this fucking weak ass VPN. WHY I PAY FOR 1Gbps WHEN COMPANY VPN ONLY 10Mbps?!! What Am I? A fucking snail! Go faster!! pls!

But, thank god, we can email shit and open attachments in Outlook.

First time rant here, and I'm just gonna let fucking loose because this seems to be a good place for it.

My uni can't teach programming for shit. It's the reason people sign up for the course. They want to know how to program. I'm self-taught and unhappy in college as it is.

I joined CS because I thought they'd assimilate work in the real world, which is experience I need. I realized early on that programming is like art, and I love the rush I get of something finally working right.

That said, they sucked the fun out of it. It's too structured. Everyone trying to get the same goddamn result. In the real world, we'd be working on a larger project that involved planning, design, communication, teamwork, and the ability to complete each of our own pieces of the puzzle and subsequently put them together in a project that works for the end user.

I'm paying to be a fucking sheep, people. Why do employers give a shit about a degree instead of talent? Welp, fuck society for this. You can tell me I can drop it and still get a good job, it'll just be harder. That's the fucking problem. I can't get a job if these incompetent fucking bastards will throw out my resumé the moment they see "self-taught."

If we could hire based on GitHub contributions, I think many of us here would be relatively better off. Programmers program, not socialize. We do socialize, but in our own little groups. We team up as needed. The moment the jackass in HR realizes that, the better off we'll be.

Sorry, just the way I'm seeing shit right now. I'm going through some OCD-induced depression and this might be a result of that, but I'm passed the point of giving a fuck.

This is a story of suffering and despair.

I'm working on a build system for our firmware. Nothing major, just a cmake script to build everything and give me an elf file.

I'm fairly new to cmake at that point, and so it's not abundantly clear to me how the `addDirectory` command works.

Now those of you with experience in cmake will say:
"Hold on there champ, this is not a cmake command, the real thing is add_subdirectory()"

Well, that is not what chatGPT told me. I still trusted the fucking thing at this point, it explained that it was in fact a command, and that it added all subsequent source files from a given folder. When I asked it to provide me with sources, it gave me a dead link in a cmake dot com subdomain.

I spent FUCKING HOURS trying to understand why I couldn't find that shitty command, I looked through that shitty page they call documentation through and through, I fucking checked previous and nightly versions, the command was nowhere to be found.

Until I found an old as time post in stackOverflow...
Someone had made a macro with that name, that did what GPT had described...

On the positive side, I know cmake now. I also don't use this fucking deep Learning piece of shit. Unless you write simple JS or blinking LEDs with Arduino it codes like a Junior, high on every kind of glue on the market.

Jesus Christ Almighty fucking Instagram is a real shit show lately.

So many fucking bots. The porn bots than spam comments and DMs, the bots people tag in comments that get you a lot of likes and then just people that use bots to comment on posts.

Like fucking hell bruh can y'all fix your shit?

So... I've got a confession to make.
I'm no longer a Dev. After the disaster that was my last commercial gig, I went and got a sec Ops role... And I love it. It's just technical problem solving and explaining all the way.
Don't get me wrong, I still love to code. But that's exactly the thing. As a commercial developer employed by corporations, I spent close to 80 % of my time not coding, but in useless meetings, or trying to figure out just what my colleagues thought was "common sense", reverse engineering their work and documenting how to get it running, etc. Basically, fixing shit for braindead academics with next to no real world experience.
Now, when I code, I get to do it on my own terms, with my own stack and as much comments and docs as I want to have. I own my time, and the only ones that are allowed to interrupt me is the local fire department.
I can do what I'm fucking passionate about and leave the rest for the useless people.

Some of these things have been probably mentioned already in some way, but I'd like to add my two cents nevertheless
I grew up in Germany and have been in the German school system for my whole "school career" and what I always missed was a computer/programming related subject. (A real one, not this thing where they teach how to use MS Office) Something that would have pushed me a bit more into this world of technology and programming way earlier, because I didn't know which possibilities I had. It doesn't happen often that I think that something is better in Slovakia but I have to say that in Slovakia they are teaching CS in standard schools from the age of 11or 12 I think. I don't exactly know what they teach there, maybe it's shit, but it's something at least. I know that most people swear on teaching themselves programming and all but there are people like me who struggle with that.
Then of course I'd like to see the teaching get better. They should teach the useful stuff and focus on practical experience.

Feeling sick as fuck. Stayed home instead of going to work but I am already upstet about what is happening whilst I am not there.

The manager was gracious enough to task the other developers with creating the templates for one of our projects. I submitted a document before stating our design guidelines and how under no circumstances they should not use bootstrap for the design since none of them know how to manipulate the source code enough to deviate from the standard bootstrap design. The lead developer, even tho I love the dude, has an attitude against new tech. He is primarily and only a php developer still in love with just jquery and php with no real knowledge of proper design methods. He is the kind of dude that would tell you that pdo is a waste of time and that why should we create models and use oop to separate our code into manageable files.
Today I get "why should we not use bootstrap" and shit like that.

Sigh.....i really don't want to see the shitstorm waiting for me tomorrow.

Funny how our cms administrator is eager to learn the list of technologies i proposed. They both gor Programming Ruby, the pickaxe holy book of Ruby and the dude is already halfway through it while the other developer is still asking why should we even bother when we have php.

I get the idea of if it ain't broken don't fix it and being proficient with one stack and whatnot. But that idea of i dont want to learn something new is precisely what shuts down progress.

Nightmare IRL:

Your colleague is in PTO for 2 weeks.

You are in charge of maintaining his project along with yours, CI, code, tests and everything.

Your colleague's code base is a real master piece of shit when you look at it closer. By shit, I mean hardcoded values everywhere, random sleeps now and then, 20 if branches that could be replaced by maps, variables named a b c d everywhere, try catch to silence errors that should not be silenced, etc.

Your colleague left the CI and code broken as shit. Takes forever to run on my goddamn computer.

PMs are spamming you: "What is going on? It's red everywhere. Help! Plz fix this! We are going to release tomorrow!"

FML

Me: So you have no work experience, and majored in liberal arts, but you did go through a 6 months bootcamp, right?
Candidate: Yeah.
Me: sounds good, we will have to work together with you for a long while until you become independent, but I think you can definitely do this. What are you salary expectations?
Candidate: I'm thinking of 5000.
Me: Aight, thanks for your time! We'll send you more details later

Around here, 5000 (arbitrary made up number) is what you pay someone with around 3 years of experience at least. It's always these pampered fucks from rich countries that want to earn a shitton of money for the grand effort of going to a goddamn bootcamp for some months. That is their definition of effort and hard work, because it seems they've never once in their lives had any sort of hardship or struggle beyond crying that dad got them an Android instead of an iPhone. If you leave them alone they can't do jack shit because they've never worked in real, big projects, so you gotta invest a lot of time in them. Which is fine, everyone starts from somewhere. But what kinda balls do you have to demand a mid level salary when you have done basically nothing so far, and your knowledge is superficial at best?

I know that a lot of jobs and recruiters give bottom of the barrel shit, but I swear some candidates are insane. Unpopular rant I assume but I just needed to scream a bit.

So I'm writing some multithreaded shit in C that is supposed to work cross-platform. MingW has Posix threads for Windows, so that saved already half of the platform dependency. The other half was that these threads need to run external programs.

Well, there's system(), right? Uhm yes, but it sucks. It's incredibly slow on Windows, and it looks like you can have only one system() call ongoing at the same time. Which kinda defeats the multithreaded driver. Ok, but there's CreateProcessA(), and that doesn't suck.

Fine, now for Linux. The fork/exec hack is quite ugly, but it works and is even fast. Just never use fork() without immediate exec(). First try under Cygwin... crap I fork bombed my system! What is this shit? Ah I fucked up the path names so that the external executable couldn't be run.

Lesson learnt: put an exit() right after the exec() in the path for child process. Should never be reached, but if it goes there, the exit() at least prevents a fork bomb.

Well yeah, sort of works under Cygwin, but only with up to 3 threads. Beyond that, it seems like fork() at some point gives two processes the same PID, and then shit hangs.

Even slapping a mutex around the fork and releasing it only in the parent process didn't help. Fork in Cygwin is like a fork in the ass. posix_spawn() should work better because it can be mapped more easily to the Windows model, but still no dice.

OK, testing under real Linux. Yeah, no issues with that one! But instead, I get some obscure "free(): invalid size" abort. What the fuck would that even mean?! Checking my free() calls: all fine.

Time to fire up GDB in the terminal! Put a catch on the abort signal, mh got just hex data. Shit I forgot to compile with -O0 and -g. Next try. Backtrace shows the full call trace, back to the originating line in my program - which is fclose() on a file.

Ahhh I remember! Under Linux, fclosing a file that is already closed makes the program crash. So probably I was closing it twice. Checking back.. yeah that's where it was.

Shit runs fast on several cores now!

The moment when even Google show no realted searches, is the moment when you realise you are in some real shit !!!
#stuckupcode #noclue

IIS is a piece of shit. Windows is for playing video games and looking at stupid memes, not for real work. Defenders say that wInDoWs SeRvEr Is PoWeRfUl REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE, but it only appears powerful because microshit took all of the things that normal servers can do easily, split it up nonsensically, and hid it in bizarre places in an overdesigned and FUCKING CONFUSING set of config menus. No one can change my mind about this.

Is it just me or Social media has made everyone philosophers automatically.

Like pretty dumb and hopeless folks you know in real life be posting some smart and motivational shit they copied off of some random site.

Dude get your dumbass off my screen mehn...coming around here giving advice on how to make my life better...have you seen your life lately?

It can't be just me...

Don't scroll here.
Go and live a real life,
Don't make a computer screen as your world,
there is a beautiful world outside of your cave,
Talk with people's face to face,
go
go
go.

Ok enough philosophy, Time to add new shit in current shitty code.
(-_-)

Yeah, So the principals of hackathons is shit and am about to braek down to fucking cry.All you do is waste 48hours of your life discussing your ideas with irrelevant startup managers who will just shatter your dreams with a single sentence "this is already in market, what have you creat new?" For fuck's sake, it's my first hackathon , you guys have given me just 10 hours ,i have a team of worlds most idiot devs and i am their equally idiot if not more leader... However my idea was 1000% real and authentic and worth finding... if not, then at least give me prize for creating 9000 lines of code with 2 IOT devices and a working , documented model which no other fuckin team could do.... AND even not this, then FUCKING GIVE THE PRIZE TO SOMEONE WHO DESERVE IT, AND NOT THE TEAM FROM THE COLLEGE THAT SPONSORED IT.. fucking politics -_-

I just told my director that the solution for a particular problem that we have involves Machine Learning. For which I had already applied a VERY small app to make sense of an old database to make a NEW one since the old one broke every notion of how a db is supposed to be set (meaning that I recreated the project from scratch)

And on the same message I told him that I was not willing to do it using M.L since I was not paid enough to bring this level of heat to the institution.

Normalize telling mfkers that your skills are worth more.

I am paid well, but not enough to out of the blue tell mfkers that my ml based algo can save them./

Fuck em, fuck em hard, fuck em good, fuck em without even using spit.

I don't do this shit because I am paSSiOnate, since there lies the trap: "I mean, I love it so I guess I can do it, I do this on my free time either way" <---- no bitch, shit is expensive on the real world, don't do that wtf is the matter with you? *slaps* companies don't see it as a: "oh shit, employee X can do this! value!" they see it as "greaaaaat, I can save money on this", so fuck em.

Normalize it, y'all are wizards, advisors of kings, no company today survives without I.T. About motherfucking time y'all bitches take this shit by the horns and do with it what you want.

People form third world countries that need work: shit don't apply to you, currently, but we will make it apply to you on the rising, my kings, stay strong.

Murphy's law is completely true.

Deployed my own software the very first time on a customer system on monday.

Today I'm at a job college class when my boss calls me: "...Hey yeah (unrelated) (yadda yadda) the software does not function for anyone").

I fucking knew it.
We don't have a proper project planning nor a real project manager/lead, we don't do QA, and now it's gone to shit.

I did my own testing extensively on monday & Tuesday, everything looked alright and worked like a charm.

I'm looking forward to the weekend already...

Me after working on a complex UI given by the designer

Me: it’s done
Designer: the underline is off by 1px
Me: yeah , that how the css accommodates according to smaller screen , it’ll still look like the UI you gave on the bigger screen.
Designer : it hasn’t come out as expected , let’s change the UI and try something new here
ME (inside): YOU PEICE OF SHIT , you should have either spoken to me before designing the UI to know what could be done , or either be happy with the 1% different in the real UI and your “photoshop image”
Me(outside): as you say

TL;DR;

Idiot hard coded database host on the app... Pushed to prod and suddenly shit wasn't working... Took me 10 minutes to figure out what was going on...

Wrote a passive aggressive git message and commited.
Before updating prod my boss turns around to me and the following took place:

Boss: is there any problem with the server?

Me: yes, someone (i know who was ) hard coded the test db IP and it broke the backend.

Boss: oh, but will it affect the mobile app?

Me: well, it won't work but I'm already pushing the fix.

Boss: no..err.. I mean... Will I have to make any change to the mobile app?

Me inside: wtf dude... For real?! Get your shit together...

Me: no. It good, I already fixed it.

Boss: OK. Thanks

TL;DR;

Moron hard coded dB's host and stupid boss can't get shit together nor ask who did it to take precautions...

Dumbass made me update site with broken code ...

After git pulling I got an ich and tested it...

So the following talk happened:

Me: feature x is still broken (it was working before...)

Dass: yeah, I just wanna make some screenshots of it from another machine that has windows.

Me: OK, I just rolled the changes back, you can access the other machine at lan...

Me inside: OOOHHHH YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT MADE ME GET UP FROM BED AND START MY FUCKING COMPUTER FOR THIS BULLSHIT IDIOTIC NONSENSE?!? FOR REAL??? GET YOU SHIT TOGETHER ASSHOLE!

FUCK YOU MAGNETO!!!!!

what a backstabing cunt

imagine you're trying to prevent world war 3 from happening with someone you've been training for months.

out of nowhere, this FUCKING PICE OF SHIT decides to become a vilain.

in the midst of the event he tries to deflect a bullet that ricochets into my spine.
thanks asshole, now I can't walk

i thought we were friends man, we bonded over painful shit

like ok, they killed your mom and made experiments with you,

but it was just the NAZIS, LITERALLY EVERYBODY HATES THEM.
take it out on them, not the entire humanity bro

you unlocked your powers thanks to me, you couldn't even lift the toilet seat.

and you don't even give a fuck about mutants, you power hungry bitch

you only care about total domination

"oh no, someone save us from this mutant whose real name is eric"
im so scared right now

My problem with a lot of free resources/class assignments is we're being forced to make useless shit. For instance, an interactive textbook we use has some stupid fucking turtle assignments.

Why not make it something relevant? One of the first things i ever made was a Fahrenheit to Celcius converter. That's a real world application, since not many can calculate that math in their head.

Seasonal depression is starting to kick in. I'm feeling like I'm not doing good, whenever I ask for help with code people usually just rewrite all of it when they fix it so I feel like I'm not improving at all. I'm almost to the point in my life where I have to move out and be on my own I'm 19 I still have about 2 more years but it's so stressful. My room is the most comfy place for me I cant be away too long or I'll just get depressed so how am i supposed to find somewhere i like more? And what would I even use the other rooms for. I want a roommate (particularly a friend of mine) but I'm not even out there and I can see the future depression I'm gettin myself into with all the Bill's and jobs and shit, and college doesnt help with stress or depression at all. I probably shouldnt worry about that right now but i just cant help it.. it goes by too fast fuck.

Sorry guys this is the only real outlet for my feelings nowadays

Today is the day when I declare that I once and for all cancel all SJW-attracting topics.

Social relations is a hard topic and it seems like people just can't live together. There is always some group that oppress some other group.

Today I declare that I don't care about all this shit. It bothers me, it weakens me, it makes my health worse. Can I live like 60 more years (I'm keeping things real about my remaining time here) without touching SJW topics? I think I can.

My life would be different. I'm quitting acknowledging SJW topics existence, I'm quitting talking about them. They don't exist for me.

For now I'm planning to focus on art.

Fuck everyone who discriminate, also fuck everyone who fight discrimination with another kind of discrimination.

So someone decides that the employees need to do these stupid Web-based training's that not even high school kids should be looking into.
What is about ?
Security and Cryptography, and now event the real stuff.

What it covers?
Alice and Bob, Bob and Alice.
Alice wants Bob some pics/messages that she suspects someone else will see. DDDDDDAAAAAAAFFFFFFFAAAAAAAAAKKKKKK

A total of 7 useless time wasting interactive and annoying training's, 20+ min each.

But someone forgot that please do not send this shit to engineers of your company, specially Software/Network engineers. Oh another subset, specially not to those who work deeper into the domain.

I'm getting paid to do this time wasting activity, and still.

I also may come back and remove this BUT FOR NOW I NEED TO RANT.

My fellow dev (a younger guy) and I have been having a lot of disagreements with the lead dev (obviously a more experienced, older guy).
We can have arguments with him all day long, to explain and convince him that he's not that right, or not right at all.
Or we can keep silent and wait for shit to happen.
I'm already applying the stfu strategy myself... Because the other way round is exhausting.
At the same time, naturally, I'm looking for opportunities somewhere else. And, naturally, in those job ads, they state "X years of experience".
This further sets me off.
I'm sick of having an argument shut down because someone has X more years of experience, at a higher position, thinks he is better.
I am starting to hate people who boasts his years of experience instead of having the real knowledge and skills to create value.

I watched nvidia gtc keynote today. Most of stuff was about how amazing their gpu is and how much processing power we need, oh really?

Self driving cars are most idiotic way to implement rail way system on top of complicated road traffic system from last century.

The real problem is and always was problem of last mile. We don’t do shit about it, just trying to reinvent same stuff by complicating things.

I started wondering if it would be cheaper to just put small electric golf cars on railroads next to highway with automatic parkings next to cities. We could then slowly replace highways with railroads and even stack rails on top of each other.

You just drive to parking with golf cart and it hops you to railroad with auto chargers. Traffic is predictable so you know exact hour when you hop out and can drive last mile to target destination. So fucking simple yet we need fucking computer and tons of scientists to solve problems we created by bringing idiotic movies ideas to life.

Well most of stuff we try to automate is done so shitty way that it’s in fact complicate.

Fortunately it’s not my problem.

For the last week or so I've been writing a userbot for Telegram. Completely from scratch, plus Telethon to not reinvent the wheel entirely. I'm coming from the codebase of an existing userbot.

That userbot is written by a good friend of mine, who makes 6 figures, and whom I respect greatly. However the code is a steaming pile of shit. Now that is not his fault, he largely inherited that code too, tried to fix it, failed, gave up.

I am reimplementing it entirely. I'm only looking at the modules, trying to understand them, and copying over the necessary bits and changing them where necessary. But I've come across some nasty shit.

Userbots often edit existing messages from real Telegram clients. They're kind of like a login to your account, but with a program rather than a regular client. You send a message from a real client, it sees it and does whatever it needs to, and edits your message to give you feedback. Which is great.

However, there's no need to do simple string edits by importing "re". So why do you? Because you're an idiot, that's why. The old bot is based on Paperplane, which in turn is based on Telethon. Why do I see function calls to Telethon in some places and Paperplane in others? Because you're an idiot, that's why. Why does the dig module fail to even give correct answers? Because you know nothing about the DNS, that's why. And you didn't learn about RRs before implementing it.

And don't you tell me that this code is shit, and this bot is slow only when I run it on a fucking Pentium. I run this shit on an i7 and CPU isn't even the issue - memory, disk and such are. If you had any clue whatsoever about efficiency, you would've known because it's blatantly obvious. There's a reason why my machines rarely go past 5% CPU utilization. It's the fastest component in the entire fucking system.

When users come and say.. hmm this application of yours, it consumes a lot of memory. It takes a long time to do X and Y and I don't quite understand why, it seems illogical. Then maybe you should go look at your code, like you would look at yourself in the mirror. And then you fucking go fix it so that I don't have to. You're an engineer just like I am. And I am not even a dev proper - I'm a sysadmin by trade. Why should I have to fix your shit for you?

Liferay. Fucking Liferay.
I'm mostly C#, Java Dev with only a year of experience and as Kruger-Dunning effect says, I thought I'm not that bad. At the beginning of my job I've got tasked with creating an portlet for Liferay CMS which is written in Java. Can't be that bad, right? WRONG.
Liferay is real shit. Not only there is little to none community life but also documentation and tutorials are outdated! Many methods are doing the same functionality but are in different packages. JSP make coding a big fucking mess if you won't make shit ton of classes to clean it up. Also it has this incredible ability to crash whole portlet after a small change in classes structure.
I have to mention that no one could help me because company that I'm working for is a rather small one and there's no other Java developer beside me. This also means that it's hard to really get gut when no one is oversying my progress.
Also I really dislike web development. And Liferay made it even worse. I hope it will burn in hell.

My life is basically a loop of:
1) “I’m in a slump and terribly depressed because of my lack of productivity.”
2) “I know! I’ll try using the strategies that proved to make me very productive”.
3) “I’m very productive right now, that’s because I’m so smart and talented, it’s just part of me”
4) Back to step 1

Im an unaccomplished idiot with a big ego. Why do I have an ego if I don’t have any real accomplishments????
Dear god, I will become a fucking egotistical moron the day I actually do something worthwhile.

I’m a goddamn fucking piece of shit.

Another day, another shitty set of JIRA tickets.

In this week's edition, we run into an issue you'd think is a meme, something you couldn't even make up: three tickets with IDENTICAL titles, but miraculously, they actually refer to three DIFFERENT tasks! (Also comical, they're not bugs, they're tasks, but mouth breathers don't really know the difference, and at this point I just don't have the energy to attempt to explain what could be explained to elementary school children.)

I present a rare look into our national archives!

This document features two exhibits:

Exhibit A: product owner's original ticket titles

Exhibit B: translated-into-competency-because-i'm-not-mentally-deficient ticket titles

Just more proof that 'product owners' don't own shit, the devs are the real ones who actually know what is going on.

I mean just LOOK at Exhibit A's titles. As a big smart manager, do you write those tickets, smile, and say to yourself "Ah, yep, that's very clear, I'll definitely remember what each of these mean literally 5 seconds from now!"

Is asking for literally 30 seconds more of thought too much to ask for? Apparently.

Just kill me

Happy friday ☠️

When i started my work I encoubtered this db(one of 4): more than 20 tables, some with 200 columns literally... EVERYTHING is a varchar 😓.

I'm slowly designing some normalized tables with real fk on new features and projects and people are like: how the fuck did you implement this feature so fast? the other guy spent 3 months designing this form (and I'm just speechless):

The form was some sort of crazyness shit passing input names as "name-of-property" and a file only to check if(name="string") then store a number value to an array and save it as a "number" (actually varchar) on the db. literally more than 50 if statements to do this.

Everything on a single table that made no sense at all.

Just wtf... At least my boss let me start if from scratch cause he we were always having panick attacks every time he needed to do something with it. 😂😂

I didnt thought I have to write this down, but you people dont get standard business logic, so here advice from someone who knows that shit:
- If you wanna get paid, make your own contract and let a lawyer look over it.
- always have a lawyer on retainer and enough money for him/her.
- nothing is real without a signature.
- your clients should know that you're gonna sue them if they don't pay.
- don't go easy on anyone, here an easy way to decide if you should sue:
Didnt pay? Sue.
Breaks contract? Sue
Asks for later payment? Dont
- always code in a killswitch, trust me you're gonna need it.

A real chef will rant about a freaking knife sharpness and weight and handle and all that shit. Because a real chef knows what he is holding.

Us? We are happy as long as the knives in our hands can cut some stuffs or stab some people.

// Disclaimer : I just left this comment on a rant where OP claimed many users (average users) have no issues with a particular OS while a bunch of self proclaimed developers have lots of trouble with that particular OS.

This burnout shit is real. Time to take some vacation time.

The debugging process is often complicated.

There are often many factors involved in troubleshooting an error, but usually I have a hunch.

Sometimes I'll ignore my hunch and try other, smaller fixes first. This will irritate me for a while until I actually go after my hunch, run the program, and INSTANTLY everything works again.

Found myself relating that to real life today when I had a slight belly ache and eventually decided to take a massive shit and INSTANTLY felt better. The relief was so quick that I actually looked up and paused in surprise.

i dreamed a parallel reality

not even fking joking rn

it was MORE REAL THAN THE REALITY WE LIVE HERE

IT WAS LITERALLY LIKE I FKING LIVED IN ANOTHER REALM

this has never happened to me before ever

this shit woke me up at about 4:30 AM and i couldnt sleep for the rest of the fking day

i slept for 1h 30min

after i woke up it took me a couple of minutes to figure out if that realm was the base reality or if this current realm the reality we live in is the real base reality....

i wass fuckjgm lost !

there were 2 identical scenes that happened to me in the first and second realm

but both scenes had a different outcome, the realm i was in the dream had such a good outcome that it felt too good to be real BECAUSE I FKING DREAMED OF EXPERIENCING THAT I ACHIEVED HALF OF MY DREAM, WITHIN THE DREAM

And when i woke up and realized i returned back to this fucking realm i was so goddamn disappointed that i just wanted to go back to fkig sleep and just.. die

what the fuck

my brain is overwhelmed with bullshit and lies so much that i can not distinguish what is fake and what is real

fuck, eeverything in this existence

First time going to college was my first time commiting for real becoming a dev. But with my close minded brain. I believe i only want to became a backend. So here is my story of me getting mad to monitor.

First year i got 24" Monitor. "Shit this is so unproductive, a need a new workspace to place my debugger".

Got another 24" Monitor. "ahh better" -- later on got a Web Developing Class. "Fuck i need moar workspace, i need to see a live reload and a debugger !"

Got a 27" Monitor. "FUCK, there is no way to plug this monitor"

Got No-Brainer-Fast-Bought 1060 3GB. "Finally !". Hmm "this one bigger monitor seems odd, i need to change this to become even"

Got another 2x27" Instead of 1x24" To replace 27". "Why the hell am i wasting money?".

...
...

...Maybe gamble poker when working is nice...

...
...

Got another 27".

To all the Java Teams that died during the fucking Mobile Civil War, We salute you!

1. Millionaire 2011
2. Splinter Cell: Double Agent
3. Dragon Ball Z Saiyan Fighters
4. Moto Girls
5. 24 Special Ops
6. Thor: The Dark World
7. Kung Fu Panda
8. Worms 2011: Armageddon
9. Asphalt 4: Elite Racing
10. Resident Evil - The Missions
11. Ghost Recon: Future Soldier
12. Spider-Man 3
13. Need for Speed - Undercover 3D
14. Contra 4
15. Rambo on Fire
16. Fast and Furious 6 
17. Counter Strike 3D
18. Men in Black 3
19. X–Men Origins: Wolverine
20. WWE Legends of Wrestlemania 3D
21. 3D Fight Night: Round 4
22. 3D Ultimate Rally Championships
23. Assassin's Creed
24. Zuma
24. Die Hard 4
25. 3D WWE Smackdown Vs RAW 2009
26. Prince of Persia 3: The Two Thrones
27. 3D Fight Night: Round 3
28. Super Mario Bros
29. Bruce Lee - Iron Fist 3D
30. Naruto Adventure: A New Apprentice
31. FIFA 2011
32. James Cameron's Avatar
33. Racing 2: The Real Car Experience
34. King Kong
35. Gangstar City
36. Iron Man 3
37. XIII 2: Covert Identity
38. 4x4 Extreme Rally 3D
39. Real Football Manager 2013
40. Splinter Cell: Conviction
41. 2008 Real Football 3D
42. Assassin's Creed 2
43. Hummer 3D
44. American Gangster
45. Real Football 2009
46. 3D Football: Real Madrid 2010
47. Xtreme Dirt Bike
48. Tekken Mobile
49. A Good Day to Die Hard
50. The Amazing Spider-Man 2
51. Asphalt 3: Street Rules 3D
52. GTA IV Mobile
53. 3D Contr Terrorism
54. Real Football 2015
55. The Amazing Spider-Man
56. Contra 4 (2009)
57. Mortal Kombat 3D
58. Bad Girls
59. Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood
60. Need for Speed: Hot Pursuit 3D
61. God of War
62. PES 2009 (Pro Evolution Soccer)
63. Ultimate Street Football
64. Assassin's Creed: Revelations
65. Prince of Persia: The Forgotten Sands
66. 3D Super taxi driver
67. Gangstar 2: Kings of LA
68. Asphalt 6: Adrenaline
69. Assassin's Creed III
70. Danger Dash
71. Real Football 2014
72. Gangstar - Crime City
73. Gangstar 3: Miami Vindication
74. Modern Combat 4: Zero Hour
75. Zuma's Revenge!

We know you guys did your best but the world is a fucking shit hole. We still remember your hard work!

76. Mission Impossible 3
77. Gangstar Rio: City of Saints (I guess these were your last days at work. Well-done guys!)
78. Real Football 2010
79. Real Football 2011 (Real Soccer)
80. Real Football 2012
81. PES 2011 (Pro Evolution Soccer) 
82. Ultimate Mortal Kombat 3 (My Favorite)
83. And those missing the list.

WE SALUTE YOU ALL!!! ∠(^ー^)

My 17 year old cousin got inspired by Hollywood movie and said he wanted to be an Hacker. Now, who can explain him the shit that's shown on the silver screen isn't practical in real life. The life of programmers, hackers is rather about learning continuously throught their life rather than hacking into a quantum computer through a gaming console.
🤬

Why is LinkedIn such a shitty asshat cringe piece of shit stewed with fakeness and boiled with preposterous dramatic assholes trying to be cool and professional but in real life are fucktards.

Workload rant.

Our new line manager is overly expecting from all of us (product/design/tech) and is micro managing on ground level without having any real sense of reality. He just wants everything to be built overnight.

He is smart, no doubt about that. But guess, I learnt from him what I had to. Not to stereotype but he is a typical Indian manager who keeps pushing boundaries.

He just added 80 features for Q1 roadmap with on 3 PMs, 1 Designer, 1TPM, and bunch of techies .

What the actual fuck! 😂😂😂 And he wanted to add more, thankfully we ran out of time in the meeting.

And my super talent and genius blabbering co-woker who works mechanically just fucked herself real bad. Lol

I kept telling her not to add Feature XYZ to the roadmap because:
1. There'll be spill over from Q4
2. She is already overloaded with 1 task and keeps crying all day about being unable to handle it
3. She is setting wrong expectations with management for herself and rest of the team
4. Boss will add more work and she'll be fucked

She was adamant and did not listen.

Now this is what happened:
1. ALL her Q4 items got pushed to Q1. LMFAO
2. She was literally crying since morning on calls for being overloaded and we are yet to start Q1 assignments
3. Additional tasks along side feature XYZ were added on her plate

I tried to push back the manager and that's when he said okay, let's keep some items for Q2.

But holy shit. 80 features between such a small team and wanted to done in few weeks.

I need to pump more steam in my job hunt activity. This place is ridiculously toxic.

This is some real shady shit...
I was trying to set my office 365 account we got from school to gmail in my phone and this is what it wants to be able to do. In summary (Dutch screenshots):
- It can disable important safety features,
- Lock me out of my phone at any moment,
- Encrypt all data,
- Or just erase all of it
- And watch me while they do it

Nice.

So I just started going to university and have a subject called "programming", we are taught Java, Haskell and Prolog. Every week there is a sheet with homeworks, programming tasks. Often we get something like a boilerplate, so we implement some methods and stuff like that. Those tasks are prepared and created by scientific assistants. They upload the boilerplate and sheets. Take a look at the programming style they follow in Java. Actually I can't find a pattern they follow, except from the spacing between the lines. We are 1000 students in the informatics course, of which probably 10% know how to properly program 😅
So like 900 people see and adapt/learn this real bad coding convention. It really pisses me off, that they basically don't give a shit about convention or teaching them. I have to say that the logic some times is as worse as the conventions 😓
Besides I am not cocky with conventions, but I think at a high-class university they should teach proper convention.

!rant

I just saw someone write about how much he hates school and it reminded me of all I am about to say:

I go to a fancy private school in my country full of shitheads and idiots that think that they can rely on their parents money for the rest of their lives, are always concerned about the latest trends (yeezys, dabs, fidget spinners... etc) and it just gets on my nerves as I have to live with all that and have almost no friends since I failed my class two years ago, when I sit in school I can't focus on anything the teacher says which in turn contributes to my shit grades and there is nothing I can do about it. I have been diagnosed with persistent depresseive disorderand bouts of major depression and my mom won't accept to give me adequate medication because she says(although this is not always the case) that antidepressants can trigger the bipolar disorder that runs in my family, and on top of all this shit, ever since I was 7 I have been raised by my single mother after my father died (I never tell people that my father is dead usually because I hate the look of pity I get coming out of their faces) and my mother has been screwed over for all her life because she can't make a good decision or call bullshit even if you put a gun to her head.

And what I hate most about all that is that I have no one to talk to because my mom is one of those religious freaks so I can't talk to her about my real deep thoughts, and every psychologist or counselor I have been to has been shit.

And this is just another chronicle of my miserable fucking existence.

Thoughts prior to feedback meeting, about how it's gonna go.

---------------------------------------------------------
Scenario one:
Supervisor: The shit is this? You call this a research work? Get the fuck out of here! You're fired and even your unborn kids are banned from coming into this institute ever again!

Me: *walks out sobbing* (dunno how one can walk out of a zoom meeting, but this is imaginary so who's counting?)

Scenario two:
S: Umm, good work. I just don't think it's presentable. Maybe come back in like a few weeks when you actually polish this into a "real scientific work".

Me: *sobs after meeting. Starts preping for seppuku cuz no idea where I'm headed with this work any further*

Scenario three:
S: nah man. This is no good. Let's start from the bottom. Like, start data collection from the beginning or something.

Me: *sobs and commits seppuku on the meeting.* (I just have a pen tho. Hope it has the same effect as a sword)

---------------------------------------------------------

There are other scenarios, but they all end up in me sobbing and/or committing seppuku in/after the meeting so yeah the drama is running high right now.

!dev

STUPID PIECE OF SHIT. PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION MY ASS! random() IS MORE RELIABLE THAN YOU!

I rarely go outside, but whenever i do so from my grandparents you must disappoint me. Literally the least crowded streets in this city and you nail it to arrive 20min. to late. I could have walked to street with the lightly dressed women and get some real service in the meantime.

FUCK YOU

Sincerely, the guy who will be to late to celebrate his own birthday with his friends

Starting to feel like shit about my new job. Every task my boss gives me I return with a "sorry it can't be done" for one reason or another. At first it was because user interface testing is a nightmare, then it was because the API postman tests he wanted is for endpoints we haven't exposed so it can't be done and the automated login on postman and retrieval of cookie information can't be done through postman because it requires rendering the site in a browser. I feel worthless to the company but I also feel he keeps making up tasks for me without checking if they're actually useful to us or even possible first, rather than let me touch any of the real code.. I don't know if I should just quit tbh.

This is the real shit

Fuck this shitty C ecosystem! Multible compilers, one standard complying, one hacked toghether? Only one GPL poisoned standart library, with no real chance of switching it, which prevents me of making staticly linked programs? And then there is microsofts compiler, with fucking ANSI support. Thanks. No dependency handling. Concurrency? pthreads. Are you fucking kidding. JSON? Have fun finding something static. Compile times where you can read entire books. Segfaults without one helpful info, so you have to debug with prints. And every library, every tool, installer, compiler, stdlib, anything is poisoned by GPL. But hey, its fast. And efficient. After you spend many slow and inefficient months developing something. I am so done with this shit.
Well.

Tommorow i will continue working with C on my backup project.

Did i mention that the stdlib has no features? Not even threading? Which is IN THE STANDARD?

We're having a mini-hackathon at our school last Saturday as a final exam of our Web Engineering course, showcasing what we learned throughout. The theme is all about helping university students gain their productivity and improve their interaction with technology.

Me and my team tried to create a note-sharing platform for students. We loved the idea and we're so excited to create it. But excitement turned into shit hole during development.

A fuckton of merge conflicts, divisive code conventions, and usage of god-awful Bootstrap for front-end came in. 😱😬😣

Despite these things, we are able to win the hackathon (i still can't believe we won). but he worst part of winning is that the prize is not cash nor the internship (the judges are from the company who somehow looks for interns), but fucking useless GIFT CARDS!!

But in the end, we're proud of it. I thought that it will be just a concept but in the end, it became real and it turned out to be great. ☺

We got degrees celcius below 0, even a bit of snow laying around and the train is NOT half an hour late.
Can this be?
Is this the real world?
Normally they go "oh, could be snowing today, let's fuck that shit up"
I would say, today there is even a small chance that I get where I want to go SOMEWHAT IN TIME, yeah!😅

This is the current condition of tcs in india.
Fucking servers are busy providing sessions from 3 hours.
This is a contest organised by tcs india for college student and this was a demo round(mockvita). Just to prepare students for the real challenge.
6 hour challenge , i completed it in 3 and now when its my turn to upload the java file its showing me this fucking shit. I fucking coded for 3 hours straight and now when the shit is working, their servers just say fuck off.
Its a global contest and this shit is happening for real.

Last night I had a very strange dream. I should point out in advance, all of this is fictional and none of it really happened.

I was looking at an answer I posted on Stack Exchange.. for the sake of argument, let's say it was Super User. I remember the question being about volume limiting, which is actually an issue I and many other iOS 14.2/14.3 users have been facing in the last few months. Apparently it has been partially addressed in 14.4.

In the real world I fixed the issue by jailbreaking the phone and unloading the healthd service, while in the dream that was the answer I had documented on Super User. In reality I have documented it in several other places, but not there.

Fast-forward a couple of days in the dream where the answer was posted, and I was now looking at a reply. I don't remember the exact details of it, but apparently in the answer I had posted something about my network.. a screenshot from the iPhone? And the comment on it basically said something along the lines of "your answer is shit, and you probably have a very basic internet connection with default settings". I was really upset by that, as my network is actually quite advanced (on account of being a sysadmin).

Then I woke up and realized that it was all just a dream...

Honestly?

No way.
No matter what you give up for your family and friends.
It's never enough.

"You're always tired"
"You're not interested enough in my/our stuff"
"No wonder you won't proceed with your carrier, when you act like that"

C'mooooooon!
Give me a chance to build up a regular life.

Most Ppl = Egotistical piles of crap.

Sorry for this dark rant :/

Google search can get fucked in the ass.

Greedy fucking bastards deceptively including ads as normal results.

It used to be just one, but I've seen crazy shit, like 4 ads in one search results. FOUR.

And it's not just the ads. It's all the fucking litter that they put above the results.

I'm talking about all this fucking Google Maps and web cards bullshit.

It takes too much goddamned space, and most of the times I DO NOT GIVE SHITS ABOUT THEM.

And if you want to hide that shit, guess what, you gotta go into the settings. How about you include a fucking corner X that I can click so I can hide immediately hide that shit when I want to?

Now, let's analyze the unholy mess that the image I included is:

The search I did is a simple "html form". Notice that the fucking Adblock is turned ON, yet I still get a "chameleon" ad.

The first real result is from w3schools that also expands on two also hideous things: sitelinks.

Sitelinks are nothing more than spacehogs that I very very rarely click. They look fancy, but they just add CLUTTER.

What are search result n 2 and 3? w3fools again. And I shit you not the next 2 results to those are also w3schools again. So 5 w3fucks links TOTAL.

Wow, google, I'm fucking mindblown, excellent fucking job for a trillion dollar corporation.

Get fucked in the ass.

What the fuck Microsoft !! Your android apps are total piece of shit! Fucking outlook Android app don't have support to view doc file which is created using your shitty Microsoft teams portal.

If I click on that doc file link through my outlook app, you redirect me to chrome.
Ok that's still acceptable. But the real shit starts now. You tell me that your browser isn't supported! Is this fucking joke?? Who in the world develops a website which can't support latest version of Android chrome?
Now that I have installed your shitty Microsoft teams app, it doesn't show up in "open with" options. Clicking on that link is still redirecting to the chrome saying that browser is unsupported.

Also, your shitty Microsoft teams app can't edit fucking doc file. When I click on your Microsoft word icon, You again ask me to install Android app for Microsoft word.
Seriously fuck you Microsoft and your shitty apps!

!Rant

The Eve V is a Community Developed Windows Tablet which will be released in Ocotober this year.

The best specs you can get is i7 6th Gen, 16 GB Ram and 500 GB SSD for around 1400$.

He wants 32 GB RAM in such a slim and small Tablet. Also wants a 7th Gen Intel CPU and 1 TB SSD in it. He's ready to pay 1000 $ more for his special edition.

The Eve V is already finished with tooling and they are wating for the screens to arrive. They already have all the other parts.

Dude you're crazy and that specs just for VM's? What are you running? 10x WinShitBox?

He's insulting everyone on the forum with a different opinion and says, retooling will be such easy.

That guy is a real douchebag and doesn't know shit. If you would build in different parts like this, you would need to remodel the whole tablet. You can stick your 1000$ in your ass, retooling would cost more than 10'000$

If it's so easy you shithead, then do it yourself and dont say it's possible and say to other people they should do! 😂😂

I was flash developer once, it was great when macromedia was around, then adobe acquired them, now flash is gone.

Years are passing and most of industry is the same as always. Trying to drag you into this rat race of learning new amazing technologies, amazing projects that are actually doing same job as 50 years ago but using more memory and cpu cycles. Because all has it’s roots in algorithms from previous centuries.

So youngsters loose your best life time, be innovative by doing nothing more then copy paste from stackoverflow and duck typing shitty code.
Be a slave and sit in the amazing office, that has everything but not your real life that meanwhile is sucked by corporate squeezer till your last breath.
Be piece of shit that can be kicked around.

Watch youtube, facebook, instagram or whatever social network that shows you pictures that are fooling your mind that you’re someone special and you need this stuff.
Then be ready to suck some dicks to earn money and buy stuff you don’t need, live where you don’t want and do what you don’t like. You piece of shit.

Well that’s what disappoints me from my tech stack.

Now chill out, turn off your electronic gadgets, go out and enjoy real world.

y=math.sqrt(-2) // this is shit
x= y*y // shit just got real

I don't know how many of you here will understand/feel what I feel but here goes nothing

I'm the kind of person who's very calm and like sitting and talking to a friend over using a mobile phone or something. I mean, it's not like I don't use mobile phones at all but yeah.
At this point, I think my smartphone is just a waste of time. Whenever I'm bored or feel lazy, the first thing I do is unlock my phone and randomly see something online. Even though I have nothing important. I feel like it's almost cutting me off from the real world. Maybe in that time, instead of using the mobile for nothing, I could go talk to someone, go for a walk, exercise, think, etc. I even see group of friends sitting in a circle, but no one's talking. Only using their phones.
And let alone socializing, I think you miss a lot of "me" time as well (oh I like meditation and shit haha).

I'm thinking of switching to a non-smartphone. But still we are developers/engineers/designers, and for us to stay away from technology is not easy when we're the ones making it. I love what I do but at the same time I also want feel life.

This is a long post and if someone comments without reading carefully I don't care about that person's opinion.

I have 3 accounts here, and that is a must have for me. Let me explain:

Let's think of people and who they are in layers.

The innermost layers are made of private and intimate things: fears, dreams, shames, basically things that are mostly shared with very close people, like family, best friends, and specially significant others.

On the other hand, outermost layers are the public persona, who you are as a citizen, who you are in your profesion, and so on.

So, you wouldn't normally tell your boss about your favorite sex positions.

Let's also say there can be layers in the middle, and all the layers sometimes overlap, but let's not get too deep into this as I think I got the point across.

Here on I explain the original thesis.

I am a developer, and as such I want to fulfill my needs on dev communities, one of them being devrant.
I wish to learn from other devs, I expose my (sometimes controversial) points of view. I rant about annoying shit in the workplace.

But also, at some level, I wish to be taken seriously as a developer, I wish to build a reputation, and I wish to be accepted, even in a shallow social level. There is a social factor to what we do and it's totally normal.

Now, the problem is that I also would want to express my inner self.

So what I do is I don't use my main account for that, I use another, in fact 2 other accounts.

There are several reasons for that:

* I want to hide intimate shit from trolls.

Imagine I griefpost about a loved one that died, then later found myself in a heated discussion about some language, and then some troll comments something like "I'm glad your x died". i wouldn't react very well.

* I want to keep my posts consistent.

If people become interested in what I post as a dev, then they are going to expect dev related stuff from me. If I start posting like controversial points of view, that's not very cool because I'd be doing like a bait n switch on them.

* I want to maintain a reputation, and I want to not get banned on the main account

Reputation as a profesional is a real thing, and it shouldn't be affected by your personal shit.
Also sometimes you argue, and things get heated, and sometimes you get suspended or banned.

You try your hardest to be respectful, but in some communities, some mods are trigger happy.

By restricting this on your alt account, you're in a way promising that you'll have the upmost behaviour on your dev account because that means being professional.

Now, I said I had 2 other accounts.

The reason for having 2 is because I separate two layers:

In the 2nd account I am open and direct regarding my points of view, and more argumentative, but still trying to be relatively civil. I would also post things that might be controversial or not popular. I try to be real basically.

You can conclude that the 2nd account is the one posting this, since this post could trigger some people.

In the 3rd account, I talk about intimate shit like traumas, fears, emotional pain, things I know I'll get support for (the same support I give others when in need) and are not controversial in any way.
This way I can vent painful things and avoid trolls.

Cool people appreciate it when you're transparent about your shortcoming and dark thoughts.

But it takes one asshole in a high horse to judge you. And sometimes you need to give that asshole the middle finger without being afraid of ruining your reputation
or getting banned,
or being scared of that asshole laughing about your intimate shit (again, I use this account for that)

I know it sounds like I have multiple personalities but I swear I'm ok, and hopefully what I said makes sense. People might say "don't use alt accounts, go to another site", but I find that devrant has some interesting people.

The obvious downside is that you end up knowing people more than what they assume, because you interact with them through different accounts.

This is kinda shady, but I'm not interested in taking advantage of others anyway so...

Overengineering. Finding the right point between overdesign and no design at all. That's where fancy languages and unusual patterns being hit by real world problems, and you need to deal with all that utter mess you created being architecture astronaut. Isn't that funny how you realize that another fancy tool is fundamentally incompatible with the task you need to solve, and you realize it after a month of writing workarounds and hacks.

But on the other hand, duct tape slacking becomes a mess even quicker.

Not being able to promote projects. You may code the shit out of side project and still get zero response, absolutely no impact. That's why your side projects often becomes abandoned.

Oversleeping. You thought tomorrow was productive day, but you wake up oversleeped, your head aches, your mind is not clear and you be like "fuck that, I'm staying in bed watching memes all day". But there's job that has to be done, and that bothers you.

Writing tests. Oh, words can't describe how much I hate writing tests, any kind of. I tried testing so many times in high school, at university, even at production, but it seems like my mind is just doesn't accept it. I know that testing is fundamentally important, but my mind collapses every time I try to write a single fucking test, resulting in terrible headache. I don't know why it's like that, but it is, and I better repl the shit out of pure function than write fucking tests.

Holy shit seriously: Fuck MSOffice. Fuck it right in the eyehole.

As desktop software, it's just brutally terrible. On my work mac, it's just sweaty garbage. The latest insult is that on the most recent update, msword stole the default file association from preview.

Libre isn't terrific, but at least it's closed when you close it. For that reason alone, it's orgasmic by comparison.

Because there's justice in the world, my job is not a document-centered one, so I have no real use at all for an office app, let alone the specific macros and formulae that the msoffice versions of these apps provide, so I couldn't give less of a shit about losing functionality.

The headline and main thrust of this rant is "fuck msoffice so hard that it dies of eye-fucking."

I don't understand why there is such a hypocritic professionalism in tech industry.

In the careers page ,these companies show smiling people, party images , slides and shit. And while selecting resumes, they want to scan buzzwords to select a particular candidate and hate "actual" introductions.

Like, how would you like to meet someone in a bar , who introduces himself as " a super enthusiastic 10x engineer and a tech enthusiast with a knack of building scalable and industry recognized softwares in x tech for last y years". Dude, introduce yourself as a human not a bot.

There is a clear difference when we are talking about personal stuff and when we are talking about tech in real life, why not maintain that in your resume?

But no, just write a single sentence in first person p.o.v and next thing you know, you see tons of LinkedIn post about "how to write a 'professional' resume"

"My Website is beautiful"
"Mine Is better"
"No yours is shit"
FUCK OFF!
I DONT GIVE A DAMN
About HOW FUCKING overloaded your COCKSITE Is! I DONT GIVE A SHIT!
Why? Because of TWO MOTHERFUCKING REASONS!
First: I dont GIVE A SINGLE FUCK
Second:
MOTHERFUCKINGWEBSITE.COM IS THE REAL SHIT

There is this dude called Richard Eng which is sort of famous for 2 things:
First: he is known as *the* Smalltall evangelist of mothern times. And he constantly writes about it. Which is fine since he tries to attract new users to this beautiful and simple little language.

Second: his constant bashing of other technologies, mainly Javascript stating that it is the most harmful tech known to man.

The thing is, saying "use this because that is shit" is never going to convince a community, specifically one as potent as that of the JS community. And to make it worse...the dude links his reasoning about bad languages to articles he wrote. As in "this is shit, look at my completely biased article regarding why its shit"

Once he is confronted about it he links back to his own writings. Much like christian fanatics do
"good is real because it says so in the bible"
"but how can you trust that resource?"
"Because the bible is the word of God"
"and how do you know?"
"Because it is in the bible"

Circular arguments like that cannot be taken seriously. And what this guy does for the Smalltalk community hurts more than it helps really.

Claims like those are all around us. If we were to believe or consider them depending on who said what then we would never have the amazing cluster of tech choices that we have.

Take c++. It is absolutely powerful and gives you the ability to do pretty much anything. If we were to take Linus Torvalds's word about it being shit and only having subpar development we would miss on absolutely powerful tools.

The same came to me from Evee, writer of "PHP a fractal of bad design" or the "Node.js is cancer" article.

You are never going to please anyone with anything. I go by live and let live, and whilst I don't like some technologies I certainly don't look down on those that do.

Back when I was still in school for comp sci we had an advanced software engineering and design class with c++. At this time, everyone was expected to be proficient enough with cpp to go ahead and properly work with whatever the instructor would throw at us. And pretty much everyone was since past classes included a lot of c++ development. Of course, efficient at least related to academic studies rather than actual real world development.

Our teacher would mix in a lot pf phyisics and mathematics into what we were doing, something that I greatly enjoyed, while at the same time putting real world value concerning cpp best practices to avoid common pitfalls in the development of said language. Since most bugs seemed to be memory based he would be particularly strict about that.

One classmate, good friend and an actual proper developer now a days would ALWAYS forget to free his resources...ALWAYS for whatever fucking reason he would just ignore that shit, regardless of how much the instructor would make a point on it.

At one point during class on a virtual lecture the dude literally addressed a couple of students but when he got to my boy in particular he said: "you are the reason why people are praying to Mozilla and Hoare to release Rust as fast as possible into a suitable alternative to high performant code in C++, WHY won't you pay attention to how you deal with memory management?"

And it stuck with me. I merely a recreational cpp dev, most of my profesional work is done on web development, so I cannot attest to all the additional unsafe code that people encounter in the wild when dealing with cpp on a professional level.

But in terms of them common criticisms of C and C++ for which memory is so important to work with, wouldn't you guys say that it comes more from the side of people just not knowing what they are doing rather than a fault on the language itself?

I see the merits and beauty of Rust, I truly do, it is a fantastic language, with a standardized build system and a lot of good design put into it. But I can't really fathom it being the cpp killer, if anything, the real cpp killers are bad devs that just don't know what they are doing or miss shit.

What do y'all ninjas think?

FUCK WORDPRESS
FUCK WORDPRESS
FUCK WORDPRESS
FUCK WORDPRESS
FUCK WORDPRESS

Who the fuck thought "Oh lets put all caches in the options table". This is so incredible dumb. The options table has nearly 8GB and is just unusable. The query for the "real options" takes about 3s. To export this fucking shit I had to block the prod server for 20 minutes to get a db dump. I want to womit in the mouth of the fucking idiot who did this.

Hitting a really deep, deep low in the manic-depressive roller-coaster of the development cycle:

There comes the crunch time. No meeting goes by hearing the odious: "We don't have time for that." - One critical component needs to be finished for Big Sur and instead of addressing the real issues we keep changing design and goal. One main dev already gave up fighting the PO and team lead(!) - and now I'm next. So that dev build this really clean and minimal library as the core part. But now it's just like, yeah, take that nice Porsche engine put it on the old rusty bicycle from the shed,.. but maybe because that's so shitty we need that specially formed exhaust pipe to tune it. Yeah, very 'agile' - Only thinking about it makes me shudder in disbelief and anger. I shouldn't take that shit so serious, be emotional about shit code, I know, but I can't. Let them drive some rounds around the block, if it runs at all,.. because until now we still didn't make it run on the fuckin' street. It's all so insane. Will make some nice fireball, when it goes up in flames.

Well, I have been part of quite some shitty projects. Real suicide commandos set out to fail, and somehow stood them through or made it even "work" though it should never have. But what enrages me here is, that it needn't to be that way. We had plenty of time. Our team was often rowing along in good rhythm. And now I just feel drowned in resignation and sarcasm.

So the last 2 devs who I really looked up to and respected at my company peaced out within the last 2 months. So I began seriously chasing offers while the market was hot. The new bigwigs that were brought in at the company knew I was one of the biggest flight risks, so they threw more money at me without me asking for it.

I just got an offer from a company that I really like that matched the salary that I was bumped to - to them it exceeds my expectations because they did not know about this preemptive bump.

Best part is, I applied to this company on my own, the old fashioned way. No recruiter as my hype person or negotiator. I made a good impression on them myself.

No, wait, the real best part - they offered me a senior level role after seeing my code in a day-long working interview (virtual of course). I mean I had to do some shit with RabbitMQ, which I had heard about and seen in passing, but never worked with before, which to my own surprise, I got working in a matter of a few hours. Blows my mind that someone outside of my old company actually thinks I'm good.

No, wait, the REAL real best part: I've spent the last 4 years - a large majority of my professional career - at my current company. I experienced a lot of growth, but they shoehorned me into a development manager role, which bummed me out as i found myself getting farther and farther away from the code. I'm so excited to get a fresh start and go back to spotify + code for 10 hours a day.

Developing and deploying in Xcode is some Requiem for a Dream level bullshit.

I literally just de selected everything for managing automatic signing, and re-selected the EXACT SAME GODDAMN THING. And it worked. It’s literally some fucking shit you do when you are first learning how to code or learning a language and you keep flipping something but you don’t get exactly how it works.

But this is YOUR FUCKING FLAGSHIP development product. I shouldn’t have to check my goddamn inception totem to see if I’m dreaming or not because this kind of bullshit can’t be real life.

That being fucking said your bullshit forced shutdown also FUCKED MY ANDROID STUDIO INSTALLATION AND FUCKED MY $PATH. Thanks. Now NOTHING WORKS. Fuck you Apple. Between slowing my phone and the cluster or problems your shit is causing that are just random as hell and are plenty common because thank god people smarter than me have fixed them in SO by now, I am SO READY TO LEAVE THE APPLE ECO SYSTEM. If I didn’t have to use one of the boxes to push iPhone app updates I doubt I would touch one again.

Apple stuff looks good but at this point that’s about it.

I think I just miiiight have found a new job, but before, some comments about the state of the data engineering industry:

- Sooooooo many people outsource it. Man, outsourcing your data teams is like seeing the world through an Apple Vision Pro fused to your skull. Fine if it is working well, but you will go blind of your subscription expires. Or if Apple decides to ban you. Or if they decide to abandon the product... you are entirely dependent on their whims. In retrospect this is par for the course, I guess.
- Lots of companies think data engineering *starts* with an SQL database. Oh, honey, I have some bad news.
- Quite a few expect MS POWER BI will be able to deliver REAL TIME DASHBOARDS summarizing TERABYTES of data sourced from SQL SERVER (or similar). Facepalm.
- Nearly all think the handling of data engineering products is just like that of software engineering. Just try. I dare you.
- Why people think that "familiarity in several SQL dialects" is something to brag about?
- Shit, startups. Startups are dead, boomers. Deader than video rental physical stores.

That's all. On to the next round of interviews!

So new job started.
Just for context- old company was shit.
Promised the world but.
No benefits.
Terrible project management.
High pressure.
But green field interesting work (except by now it’s a few years in so it’s a ‘browning’ field but I was on it from the start).

New company first impressions..
Seems a fantastic company.
True to their word they have money for tools.
Making time for personal development.
Much bigger development community/department.
Seems like the term are under far less pressure so far at least.

But a MASSIVE amount of tech debt.
People seem to want to do the right thing and they’re making time to try and deal with it.
But one or two are very opinionated as to how to deal with it.

So this could go either way and only time will tell I guess.
Trying not to over analyse every little thing they say but I’m hyper sensitive to it at the minute while in the early days.

As always the real challenge in IT is the people not the tech. I count myself as part of the problem, sure I will form some opinions and sharing them too.