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My colleagues treat me like a god.
.
.
.
Nobody plays any attention to my existence until they want something 😏6 -
Swear to god in going to pole drive the next person who asks if my watch is an Apple watch into the fucking ground...
29 -
Once A Programmer Had No Child, No Money, No Home, Blind Mother, so he Prays To God.
God Says He Will Grant Him One Wish!
Programmer : “I Want My Mother To See My Wife Putting Diamond Bangles On My Child’s Hands, In Our New Home”
God: “Damn! I Still Have A Lot To Learn From These Programmers”8 -
Fuck the EU. Fucking puppets. I'm literally going to go and create my own fucking country, i swear to fucking god.11
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I swear to you... This is how my uni cools down its servers
Oh god the mess 😥, gets worse when your in there
3 -
Oh God NO! Please tell me it is not normal for an Android app cumminacating with a rest API to send my login credentials in a fucking GET request!
15 -
What the fuck, I just discovered that my father knows vi.
He's not a programmer.
Why, God, why I'm only able to use nano... What did I do wrong...11 -
"Oh my God thank you! How'd you fix it?"
I did literally the first thing you always do: unplug that shit and plug it back in.
1 -
Dear coworker: oh my god we aren't in highschool algebra; using "x" as the name of a parameter makes me want to cut you.15
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I swear to god Dick Davis is the coolest wannabe and biggest threat here..
PS - This is a figure from one of my textbooks
5 -
!rant
1 Error in 8 hours of coding
Error required 1 line to fix.
God must have taken control of my fingers4 -
"CSS doesn't put the fun in fundamentals. But it can make it bold."
Oh my god, that's so bad is actually good.
Courtesy of Enki.1 -
Oh my god, look at this beauty. Looks like aurora borealis. Too bad this setup wasn’t successful and is already lost.
15 -
GODADDY IS THE BANE OF MY FUCKING EXISTANCE
I WOULD LIKE TO MEET THAT GUY BOB PARSONS SO I CAN STAB THAT FUCKER IN THE GOD DAMMED BALLSACK15 -
Me when I gonna help a colleague who uses a light background in the text editor:
OH MY GOD MY EYES ARE BURNING LET ME GET BACK TO THE DARKNESS5 -
About everyone around me right now: OH MY GOD WHATSAPP HAS A DISRUPTION!!!!!!
Me: ahh, finally some good news today 😊10 -
So I was studying for a test using a quizlet my social studies teacher made, and I came across this gem. 99% sure my social studies teacher didn't read what it said/understand what it means.
9 -
*is expecting guests and while waiting his coding*
*Bell rings*
ME: Hey Gradma Grandpa welcome.
Grandpa: Here's my phone fix my storage and install FB Messenger for me
AT LEAST FOR GOD SAKE SAY HI TO ME. IM YOUR NEPHEW FOR GOD SAKE NOT SOME RANDOM HUMAN BEING.9 -
My mentor is a GOD. He's a workaholic. He knows everything. The only fucking thing he doesn't know is that his MENTEES ARE NOT HIS FUCKING SLAVES.3
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When I had sex in the office and my boss nearly walked in thank god for locked doors
Not techy but there you go...14 -
Ooh my f**king god! These privacy emails are getting out of hand now!!!!! I blame Europe for spoiling my inbox.10
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Ran update query on 1m+ record without where clause. Thank god I missed the commit command or else today would have been my last day.13
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<rant>
I swear to god if see another "Here's how I made my amazing new website with Wixs" advert on Youtube, I'm going to throw my laptop out the god damn window!
</rant>8 -
Who the fuck doesn't use responsive design. Oh yeah my Job. Thank God I quit Friday. Fuck this old ass dirt company4
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When i successfully install Arch on my system.
Translation : sometimes i think i am god
Trending in India now.
8 -
Once upon a time I was program'n, but then the POTATO GOD said unto me, PROGRAM FASTER MY CHILD. And I did so.3
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Just managed to turn on and off three led with my phone on a raspberry and i feel like a fucking god !2
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Oh my god! Just found my girlfriend opened 1000+ tabs in Safari on her iPhone. This makes me crazy... Should I break up with her?12
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Behold, my 34 year old little baby (more like big daddy), the Acorn Electron. Still running fine but god is that BASIC awful.
7 -
For God sake tinder, fix your fucking algorithm.
Why are you showing my beautiful and out of my league girls. I don't want depression everytime I open tinder.
Please show me avarage looking girls.12 -
After weeks of frustration attempting to learn Java, I will now start learning Phyton. God save my braincells
11 -
Oh my god VMWare 15 finnaly added an aspect ratio lock for VM's!!!!!!
Only took how fucking long?!5 -
Just typed /dev/rant instead of /dev/random on the terminal :/ I think I associated random with rand and then rant, oh my god, I need to sleep2
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I love C# but oh my god can .NET Core please take over already so I don’t have to use windows 24/7 anymore 😩7
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I installed ArchLinux on my smartphone thanks to termux, and now i kinda feel like a god, but don't know what to do.
I'm bored.
9 -
Oh God, oh fuck!! My bank!! That I don't bank with. It's DIsaBlEd!!!!! OH GOD OH FUcK MY MONEY!!! This is terrible, take my password!!!!! Have it!! I need to RESET THE DAMAGE OH GOD
6 -
All thanks to God for all the stars, forks & watches in my open source project, even though I never deserved it
112 -
Took a vacation away from my laptop. Expecting to have nothing to rant on but then a storm welcomes us. Oh God please!
Location: Coron, Palawan
9 -
!Rant
Finally I'm having my vacation. Goodbye mother fucking legacy system. Hello pet projects and gaming. God, have mercy on the lost souls at work ;)2 -
Day 3 of getting this god forsaken react app to launch!!
My fucking god you cock suckers make life difficult.
Npm install - they say
Npm start - that say
Npm - go swallow my god awful error log and fix all these dependencies
Npm - here's a dependency that didn't install but I need it
Npm - what do you mean your not using a fucking Mac with sass files!
C0D4 - I'm this.close() to fucking stabbing someone!12 -
I just had my first job interview. It did last for about 45 minutes.
God do I feel fucking awful.
I was very nervous fml.4 -
This app is taking over my life.
This was a mistake.
(Not really. God bless this beautiful creation.)2 -
Never mind to my last rant. I FUCKING ACCIDENTALLY FUCKING NAMED A MYSQL FUCKING GOD FUCKING DAMN FIELD FUCKING DESC FUCK FUCK FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKKKKKKKK FUCK fuck FUCK
5 -
WHY DOES TYPESCRIPT EXIST OH MY FUCKING GOD WASN'T JAVASCRIPT ENOUGH
(just starting out on angular2 and i already hate it compared to jQuery)25 -
"Intense coding. A day passes. Wait, how the fuck did my code work? It doesn't make any sense!"
It happens so, so often, God why 😐1 -
Oh my fucking god people are stupid, or ignorant, or fucking both.
How hard is it to copy a password from an email and paste that fucker in and press login.
Seriously several times of “this is your email” and “THIS” is your god dam fucking password.
God kill me now.
(No the password isn’t stored in plaintext, I reset it myself before sending it to the user)1 -
NO. FUCKIN. THANKS. LIKE GOD.
I can't use a SINGLE google service without Google trying to push its shit down my throat.
15 -
My biggest insecurity? CSS, of course. God knows how that shit works. I just keep on trying until it works.
5 -
Got error: I am such a noob programmer, dumb, I hate my life, I hate programming... *cries like a kid*
Error fixed: I am God!2 -
I'll start an internship as a web developer tomorrow. Boss crashed into my gar today. I pray to god that he's a better boss than a driver3
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God bless being a student. I just moved a massive calculation to uni's jupyter servers. Saved me from a shitton of effort and burning my laptop down. 🙏
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God dammit why does he need to test things with my account, I have work todo. Can't he just use a 'test' account.
5 -
OH MY FUCKING GOD MY FATHER NEVER SHUTS THE FUCK UUUUP ITS DRIVING ME CRAZY AAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!¡!!!!10
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Allowing webpages to send notifications is the new ask toolbar for older people. Just saw my father's smartphone with hundreds of notifications from one. Please God have mercy
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My classmate asked me to remotely download and install Java jdk for him via teamviewer. He's in 3rd year Computer Engineering...
My god.1 -
GOD DAMMIT Amazon is buying roomba. Now I can throw my roomba AND my braava in the trashcan.
F big tech I'm tired of them.24 -
I SWEAR TO GOD IF I SEE ONE MORE BUGGY AS HELL SHITTY SNAP PACKAGE I GONNA LOSE MY SHIT AND KILL SOMEONE12
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I swear to God, I have gut wrenching feeling every morning before work or when I think about work. My stomach actually hurts now.4
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Oh my fucking god which idiot decided to use JS as a scripting language for Minecraft Forge core mods
Literally what the fuck3 -
My first exposure to computers was this strange bit of equipment: https://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/...
Oh my God, I'm feeling old! :-)
2 -
Learning JS frameworks is like:
Oh my god it's 2016, no one uses jQuery anymore.
Angular is so 2015.
Here, use these 25 super cool libs instead.
11 -
When backend developers do front end work 🤦♂️. Everything looks like shit, and so many bugs oh my god.10
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Oh my god my brain is hard wired to write c++ in snake case. Spent 4 years doing it. This code base uses camel case.9
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WHICH FUCKER CAME UP WITH THE IDEA TO DISABLE CTRL+A IN THE GOD DAMN SEARCH BAR!!!
I FRICKING APPENDED MY SEARCH 3 TIMES BECAUSE OF YOU2 -
My god... Just started out with Visual Studio learning Visual Basic... Coming from Debian + Vim with C, C++ and Python. How can you even use this thing?!17
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I just finished watching bandersnatch. God in the beginning I indentified so much with the main character.
Now I'm just concerned about my mental health.5 -
Came home from a long 4hours meet up.
Was trying to take laptop out from my bag.
Laptop was still on.
Oh my fucking god.3 -
I swear to god if I made a website twice as good as Google my friends would still use Gmail to piss me off2
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I've just checked my server's auth logs and my god that's a lot of failed ssh login attempts.
I think I'll install an ssh honeypot to waste these peoples time...8 -
Oh my god has anyone seen or used these. Ssd pci cards. From western digital? 2000 mbs read speed. That's stupid fast.7
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God damn it. I have not ranted enough this year. I need to ramp up my rant game. This could be my new years resolution.
Rant more!!!6 -
God I just love to waste my time with cities skylines. I've been playing the game for about 40 hours in the last week 😂1
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still unemployed,
closing peanut freelance contracts here and there,
totally burnt out.
God save my soul.2 -
On my way to Mexico for a fucking birthday party....God i hate going to Mexico..........
I have so much shit to do at home.......8 -
Overthinking and premature optimization. God damn them both! My mind completely freezes trying to come up with the best approach without actually trying or typing anything, only thinking.1
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www.piedpiper.com
Oh my God, they made a real website for it !
And thank you guys for letting me watch this awesome TV show1 -
Wake up in the morning and my girlfriend told me I have been mumbling about bugs all night. God, I need new projects, so tired of maintenance work
-
Once I quit my job, I'll leave this message on the comments "Only me and God knew what this code did. Now that I'm gone, only God knows... Please increase the variable i for the number of tries. i = 999"6
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1st week of build season: Robots! Robots! Robots! Robots!
6th week of build season: may god have mercy on my tired soul also I want to stab everyone1 -
My god, I wanted to help a coworker fixing his ubuntu installation, but a famous pornstar seems like a virgin next to this. Yeet and reinstall3
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My Ex-girlfriend father passed away yesterday...he was a gentlemen and very good and humble person I ever met. Hoping GOD has took him to heaven!! R.I.P3
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My god i hate so much reactjs... And will never understand how a normal brain could write such a russian doll code.
But then, i met flutter, god i will puke.10 -
God! Got my name as username in devRant. <3
Every other website or app told me that the username was already taken!!1 -
My iMac is dead after reinstalling Mojave. It’s a sign from god telling me to stop coding. It’s not for me.6
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My god, using a VM on a 4k monitor is fucking nuts. The cursor's a fucking speck and the text is tiny as well. Jesus, XP is impossible to use like that!7
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That moment when you restore a backup from a completely different site into production.
God bless my paranoids and multiple backups. -
So my senior visited some of my very old code today to make some changes on his own, then asked me to explain flow since he wasn't understanding it.
Me after looking at code for 2 minutes:
"When I was writing this, only God and I knew what it meant. Now, only God does." -
Oh god, I just got told off by my building manager for sleeping to much here.
I need to be near my computer to work or I slowly die inside -
oh my god, vim-plug is just awesome, support for fish out-of-the-box, nicer install interface, also postinstall actions, just switched from vundle!
-
I like many things the rust language does but my god sometimes it looks just horrendously ugly and is awful to read23
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If the christian god exists, then I'll go to hell because of my sexual orientation. Little do they know, as I wake up there, I'll make two steps back to pick up a chainsaw. It's there and I know it.
Dear god, watch out. Your days are numbered. I'll make Nietzsche "god is dead" stuff look like a fucking joke.
I'm coming for you.12 -
The workday today was shit but my colleague just randomly dropped off some ice cream (:
God bless you Martin2 -
God dammit, I can't continue to work on my project until I can name that stupid file.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA2 -
I just road about 400km in a 150cc motorbike between yesterday and today to pick my notebook from the assistance shop. Oh my god, feels good to be home. Now with my baby boy recovered :)2
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Oh, god...why? (my reaction reading my code from 5 years ago, when I got my first programming job)
I still work there and I love it. I learned a lot in these years... -
Thank god i had debian dual booted with my windows. wheb my little sister fucked up my windows i just booted into debian and made a bootable drive.
-
Oh my god my iMac has been decompressing that bloody Xcode_8_beta.xip file for over 45 minutes, why the fuck it taking so long?2
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Changed the .bashrc of my headless server incorrectly, causing me to get kicked out of my ssh session as soon as I connected… Thank God for scp (learned something new today as well 😂)
-
Monday morning ticket:
Do the Amgular Update for our webapp.
From 9 to 15...
May god have mercy on my backend developer soul.4 -
Starting off, I believed that the "sudo" is some magic God that can fix all my problems with Linux.
Imagine that!11 -
Please god let me pass my bachelor thesis so this is over and I have some rest and time for more fun stuff...3
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view-source:https://www.google.com/?gws_rd=ssl
“Oh my GOD! I've heard of obfuscation, but this is just hell in text format!”5 -
I swear to god if I spend more money on headphones this year. This time it was my dog that snapped the cord off. I think I will just start using bluetooth headphones now, but if there is no cord I might drop them a lot and they are expensive Oh my god jesus christ fuck me fuckfuckfuckfuckfuuuuuuck1
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When I added that bug fix to my code a few weeks ago only myself and God knew what I changed - now only git knows...
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Thank God, most of my clients don't understand multithreading.
Just denied a feature
Reason
1 independent task - 6sec
10 independent tasks - 1min1 -
Oh my f**cking god! Bohemian Rhapsody is quite possibly the greatest movie ever made, at least the greatest biopic! Left the cinema with chills 😮😁2
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5th time I've lost my place on the feed. Also for the love of god why have they not made a face palm emoji? I need that in my life
9 -
Oh my fucking god, we're doing SCRUM, why does every task get stuck in review limbo and take a sprint and a half minimum because of it.
-
DigiKey seems like a great resource for purchasing electronics but oh my god as a beginner I totally do not understand their website!3
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Binge watched Silicon Valley and now I can focus on work. and if Gilfoyle and Monica end up together so help me God I'll lose my shit!
-
oh god, my Google Launcher/Google Now or whatever it is called "Stories to read" is filled with April Fool's Day articles... 😑4
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Every time I hear footsteps in the office comming my way after a commit: "Oh dear god, what did I break?!"2
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Hot reload blows my mind. It's so good, time efficient and beautiful. Why doesn't those pesky doorsaledmen advertise this?
Jehovas witnesses are praying to the wrong God! -
My first cpp project takes 148GB ram. My mentor says it's okay till 50GB. God help me optimise this thing. I have started doubting everything. Int I = 0 also looks suspicious.9
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That feeling when you find the god damn bug after 2 hours.. however, it made me better understand my code, so thank you tiny bug❤
-
Video 147 of god knows how many. I hate video based training. I wish my company wasn’t so cheap when it comes to training.
-
A colleague of mine:
God damn, my application is racist.
Me: why?
Answer: It doesn't see enough white. -
Worked with Linux for a few years, now I need to write something for Windows so I installed and got to it.
God the pathing hurts my eyes. -
I think I'm balding where my headphones usually sit...
Still not gonna change to those god awful in-ear ones though !1 -
My facebook password is so secure...I made it so complex to the degree that I couldn't recall anymore!!😂
Thx God my phone is still logged in !5 -
Is there a polite and appropriate way to tell your superior he needs to wear some fucking deodorant? It's affecting my god damn performance every time he comes close to my cube7
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god building ue4 for Linux takes quite a while and I'm not even up to compiling. the dependencies are 6GiBs large and my internet is only 2MiB/s1
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6 hours at work to find out I needed to supply TaskCreationOptions.LongRunning to one method to fix this error.
As Kenan and Kel would say: WHYYYYYYYY -
The worst part about programming assignments at my school is formatting the god damn output strings. Fuck2
-
!rant
Just ran a terraform configuration to set up my infrastructure on digital ocean
My god i'm in love3 -
Huh, I finally secured 15 years warranty on my life from god. He agreed on replacement for production defects only. It doesn't cover physical damages caused by me though.
-
Okay so theres something stopping me from understanding how Object Oriented Programming works. im sorry ahead of time this will get messy..
SO in this case we will use python. well what if the object has more than two functions? like the __init__, func1, then func2 and func2 does something else but doesn't get called or would you have to call of of them like class.func1(), class.func2().
I just don't understand when it comes to how the functions interact or effect each other. and how they would work when you dont call that specific function. I see the use of oop i just cant wrap my head around certain things..15 -
The main driver behind my use of social media is work meetings. Thank god for no requirement to have camera on.1
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spilt coffee on my good mechanical keyboard and it fried something because it keeps typing random letters... I've been reduced back to working on a membrane keyboard and my God is it less satisfying...8
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God save WPF our savior against stupid writing cords and deadlines!
Now seriously its god damn good :D im not talking about Visual Studio, which takes huge chunk of my SSD (thx Microsoft), usseles parts of it (notifications inapp etc.) and a lot of .NET frameworks! -
I flashed resurrection remix! My battery lasts more, it's faster, everything is better. God I love android7
-
One of many things I want for my birthday is for all browsers to have support for the css backdrop-filter property.
God it makes anything look native. -
Thanks god bash scripting exists.
Saved my time from running manually a C program with input files to check the output that would take me at least 1H. -
I swear to god I feel like I'm getting paid to just watch my boss code. My job is more debugging and submitting the pull request for whatever the boss throws together over team viewer.2
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GOD FUCKING DAMMIT I FUCKING HATE ES6 AND ITS GODDAMN IMPORT BULLSHIT
FUCK OFF AND LEMMIE REQUIRE MY FUCKING MODULES FOR FUCKS SAKE5 -
You know that feeling when you get a new piece of tech and it starts out with "oh my god, this is a merical, I need to protect it" and gradually you drift to "oh my god, I cant believe I have to deal with this piece of crap"?
Anyways my Christmas tech high only lasted 14 days5 -
My biggest dev regret is not starting earlier. I started learning how to code only 5 years ago, when I was 19. God, I wish I started earlier.
-
Thank god it's Christmas holidays so i can setup my amazon server for a new site. Normally a admin does it but it's a side project.
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I accidentally stumbled upon the devrant podcast and oh my God, it's so freaking awesome! Such great advice for devs. Looking forward to new episodes!2
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You know a combination of trustworthy coders and retaining improvements would make my having to debug opencv build process unnecessary
Just saying god -
eight months into my Job
looking into my first assignment my thoughts now are
When I wrote it, only God and I knew what it did, but now only God does
But the good news is I believe I have improved and striving to improve -
Ohh my god am tired of TTY on this or god or god , shut them Mort shoot they don't feel pain shoot em do their bad programmers shoot them fast
-
I feel the generally diseased and whacked out ripped up whore nature of my “hosts” is the cause of my incredible self restraint
Praise god -
God people working on the python project must be recruited for being uptight dicks with cocks up their asses sideways. 'disruptive comments' my fucking ass.2
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