Everyone here ranting about a fucking missing semicolon. I can't remember the last time a missing semicolon was the issue...

You wanna know what's REALLY BALL-BUSTING????

WHEN THE FUCKING 10 y/o LEGACY CODEBASE, CODED BY FUCKING PHP WORDPRESS SCRIPTERS WHO THOUGHT THEY COULD BUILD AN ENTERPRISE SHIT CAUSE ZF2 "LOOKS EASY" AND THEN FILL IT UP WITH SPAGHETTI, IS SO BAD WRITTEN THAT IN ORDER FOR THE PAGE TO RENDER YOU ACTUALLY ****HAVE**** TO DISABLE ERROR REPORTING SO WHENEVER A FUCKING ERROR HAPPENS ON THE TEMPLATE RENDER COMPONENT OF ZEND FRAMESHIT 2, YOU'RE LEFT WITH A FUCKING BLANK PAGE AND NOTHING IS LOGGED TO THE LOG FILE, SO YOUR ONLY OPTION IS DIE() DEBUGGING LINE BY LINE ON THE 1300 LINES PHTML FUCKFEST OF A VIEW THEY HAVE.

MISSING SEMICOLON? YES PLEASE, GIVE ME MORE OF THAT SHIT

Frack he did it again.
In a meeting with the department mgr and going over a request feature *we already discussed ad nauseam* that wasn’t technically feasible (do-able, just not worth the effort)

DeptMgr: “I want to see the contents of web site A embedded in web site B”
Me: “I researched that and it’s not possible. I added links to the target APM dashboard instead.”
Dev: “Yes, it’s possible. Just use an IFrame.”
DeptMgr: “I thought so. Next sprint item …what’s wrong?…you look frustrated”
Me: “Um..no…well, I said it’s not possible. I tried it and it doesn’t work”
Dev: “It’s just an IFrame. They are made to display content from another site.”
Me: “Well, yes, from a standard HTML tag, but what you are seeing is rendered HTML from the content manager’s XML. It implemented its own IFrame under the hood. We already talked about it, remember?”
Dev: “Oh, that’s right.”
DeptMgr: “So it’s possible?”
Dev: “Yea, we’ll figure it out.”
Me: “No…wait…figure what out? It doesn’t work.”
Dev: “We can use a powershell script to extract the data from A and port it to B.”
DeptMgr: “Powershell, good…Next sprint item…”
Me: “Powershell what? We discussed not using powershell, remember?”
Dev: “It’s just a script. Not a big deal.”
DeptMgr: “Powershell sounds like a right solution. Can we move on? Next sprint item….are you OK? You look upset”
Me: “No, I don’t particularly care, we already discussed executing a powershell script that would have to cross two network DMZs. Bill from networking already raised his concern about opening another port and didn’t understand why we couldn’t click a link. Then Mike from infrastructure griped about another random powershell script running on his servers just for reporting. He too raised his concern about all this work to save one person one click. Am I the only one who remembers this meeting? I mean, I don’t care, I’ll do whatever you want, but we’ll have to open up the same conversations with Networking again.”
Dev: “That meeting was a long time ago, they might be OK with running powershell scripts”
Me: “A long time ago? It was only two weeks.”
Dev: “Oh yea. Anyway, lets update the board. You’ll implement the powershell script and I’ll …”
Me: “Whoa..no…I’m not implementing anything. We haven’t discussed what this mysterious powershell script is supposed to do and we have to get Mike and Bill involved. Their whole team is involved in the migration project right now, so we won’t see them come out into the daylight until next week.”
DevMgr: “What if you talk to Eric? He knows powershell. OK…next sprint item..”
Me: “Eric is the one who organized the meeting two weeks ago, remember? He didn’t want powershell scripts hitting his APM servers. Am I the only one who remembers any of this?”
Dev: “I’m pretty good with powershell, I’ll figure it out.”
DevMgr: “Good…now can we move on?”

GAAAHH! I WANT A FLAMETHROWER!!!

Ok…feel better, thanks DevRant.

Best conversation this week:

A: *reporting a visual bug* The text on this page seems to be placed too far to the right, is this intended?

B: No, it's indented.

Maybe I could get better bug reports from clients if I made them use this.

I wonder if it has Jira integration.

!rant

This was over a year ago now, but my first PR at my current job was +6,249/-1,545,334 loc. Here is how that happened... When I joined the company and saw the code I was supposed to work on I kind of freaked out. The project was set up in the most ass-backward way with some sort of bootstrap boilerplate sample app thing with its own build process inside a subfolder of the main angular project. The angular app used all the CSS, fonts, icons, etc. from the boilerplate app and referenced the assets directly. If you needed to make changes to the CSS, fonts, icons, etc you would need to cd into the boilerplate app directory, make the changes, run a Gulp build that compiled things there, then cd back to the main directory and run Grunt build (thats right, both grunt and gulp) that then built the angular app and referenced the compiled assets inside the boilerplate directory. One simple CSS change would take 2 minutes to test at minimum.

I told them I needed at least a week to overhaul the app before I felt like I could do any real work. Here were the horrors I found along the way.

- All compiled (unminified) assets (both CSS and JS) were committed to git, including vendor code such as jQuery and Bootstrap.
- All bower components were committed to git (ALL their source code, documentation, etc, not just the one dist/minified JS file we referenced).
- The Grunt build was set up by someone who had no idea what they were doing. Every SINGLE file or dependency that needed to be copied to the build folder was listed one by one in a HUGE config.json file instead of using pattern matching like `assets/images/*`.
- All the example code from the boilerplate and multiple jQuery spaghetti sample apps from the boilerplate were committed to git, as well as ALL the documentation too. There was literally a `git clone` of the boilerplate repo inside a folder in the app.
- There were two separate copies of Bootstrap 3 being compiled from source. One inside the boilerplate folder and one at the angular app level. They were both included on the page, so literally every single CSS rule was overridden by the second copy of bootstrap. Oh, and because bootstrap source was included and commited and built from source, the actual bootstrap source files had been edited by developers to change styles (instead of overriding them) so there was no replacing it with an OOTB minified version.
- It is an angular app but there were multiple jQuery libraries included and relied upon and used for actual in-app functionality behavior. And, beyond that, even though angular includes many native ways to do XHR requests (using $resource or $http), there were numerous places in the app where there were `XMLHttpRequest`s intermixed with angular code.
- There was no live reloading for local development, meaning if I wanted to make one CSS change I had to stop my server, run a build, start again (about 2 minutes total). They seemed to think this was fine.
- All this monstrosity was handled by a single massive Gruntfile that was over 2000loc. When all my hacking and slashing was done, I reduced this to ~140loc.
- There were developer's (I use that term loosely) *PERSONAL AWS ACCESS KEYS* hardcoded into the source code (remember, this is a web end app, so this was in every user's browser) in order to do file uploads. Of course when I checked in AWS, those keys had full admin access to absolutely everything in AWS.
- The entire unminified AWS Javascript SDK was included on the page and not used or referenced (~1.5mb)
- There was no error handling or reporting. An API error would just result in nothing happening on the front end, so the user would usually just click and click again, re-triggering the same error. There was also no error reporting software installed (NewRelic, Rollbar, etc) so we had no idea when our users encountered errors on the front end. The previous developers would literally guide users who were experiencing issues through opening their console in dev tools and have them screenshot the error and send it to them.
- I could go on and on...

This is why you hire a real front-end engineer to build your web app instead of the cheapest contractors you can find from Ukraine.

I wrote a Student Information system for my midterm project back in 94 written in Clipper and runs on MS-DOS.

I demoed & explained to the panel of professors how it tracks enrollments, payments, class schedules, grades and attendance of each and every student. Has user authentication, auditing and reporting functionalities.
It has a lite version also written in Clipper that can be installed on a Professor's laptop so that he/she can update records even at home, and would be able to sync with the db at school via a BBS. Telix for DOS (self-taught) was my choice for the BBS as it was shareware, has built-in Zmodem support and comes with it's own programming language called SALT (Script Application Language for Telix) that can be used for automating tasks. The lite version of my project would dump the updates on an ASCII file, compress the file using PKZIP, use the laptop's modem to dial-up the number to the school's BBS and send the file across using Zmodem protocol.
The main version would then download the file(s) from the BBS and proceed to do a sync.

After the doing the demo and answering all their questions the panel asked me to wait outside the room, called me back in after 15mins and told me that I don't have to attend that class for the remainder of the term. The happiness as the my classmates outside of the room gawked at me felt like King Midas himself gave my balls his golden touch.

Then in 97, 2yrs after I graduated, I accompanied my cousins to a different campus of the same school for their enrollment and right there on the bottom of the screen were my initials on a very very familiar UI! They actually used, and were still using, my school project. Needless to say my cousins didn't believe that it was written by me.

Things have been a little too quiet on my side here, so its time for an exciting new series:

practiseSafeHex's new life as a manager.

Episode 1: Dealing with the new backend team

It's great to be back folks. Since our last series where we delved into the mind numbing idiocy of former colleagues, a lot has changed. I've moved to a new company and taken a step up as a Dev manager / Tech lead. Now I know what you are all thinking, sounds more dull and boring right? Well it wouldn't be a practiseSafeHex series if we weren't ...

<audience-shouting>
DEALING! ... WITH! ... IDIOTS!
</audience-shouting>

Bingo! so lets jump right in and kick us off with a good one.

So for the past few months i've been on an on-boarding / fact finding / figuring out this shit-storm, mission to understand more about what it is i'm suppose to do and how to do it. Last week, as part of this, I had the esteemed pleasure of meeting face to face with the remote backend team i've been working with. Lets rattle off a few facts to catch us all up:

- 8 hour time difference to me
- No documentation other than a non-maintained swagger doc
- Swagger is reporting errors and several of the input models are just `Type: String`
- The one model that seems accurate, has every property listed as optional, including what must be the primary key
- Properties go missing and get removed at the drop of a hat and we are never told.
- First email I sent them took 27 days to reply, my response to that hasn't been answered so far 31 days later (new record! way to go team, I knew we could do it!!!)
- I deal directly with 2 of them, the manager and the tech lead. Based on how things have gone so far, i've nick named them:
1) Ass
2) Hole

So lets look at some example of their work:

- I was trying to test the new backend, I saw no data in QA. They said it wouldn't show up until mid day their time, which is middle of the night for us. I said we need data in our timezone and I was told: a) "You don't understand how big this system is" (which is their new catch phrase) b) "Your timezone is not my concern"

- The whole org started testing 2 days later. The next day a member from each team was on a call and I was asked to give an update of how the testing was going on the mobile side. I said I was completely blocked because I can't get test data. Backend were asked to respond. They acknowledged they were aware, but that mobile don't understand how big the system is, and that the mobile team need to come up with ideas for the backend team, as to how mobile can test it. I said we can't do anything without test data, they said ... can you guess what? ... correct "you don't understand how big the system is"

- We eventually got something going and I noticed that only 1 of the 5 API changes due on their side was done. Opened tickets. 2 days later asked them for progress and was told that "new findings" always go to the bottom of the backlog, and they are busy with other things. I said these were suppose to be done days ago. They said you can't give us 2 days notice and expect everything done. I said the original ticket was opened a month a go *sends link* ......... *long silence* ...... "ok, but you don't understand how big the system is, this is a lot of work"

- We were on a call. Product was asking the backend manager (aka "Ass") a question about a slight upgrade to the new feature. While trying to talk, the tech lead (aka "Hole") kept cutting everyone off by saying loudly "but thats not in scope". The question was "is this possible in the future" and "how long would it take", coming from management and product development. Hole just kept saying "its not in scope", until he was told to be quiet by several people.

- An API was sending down JSON with a string containing a message for the user with 2 bits of data inside it. We asked for one of those pieces to also come down as a property as the string can change and we needed it client side. We got that. A few days later we found an edge case and asked for the second piece of data to be a property too. Now keep in mind, they clearly already have access to them in order to make the string. We were told "If you keep requesting changes like this, you are going to delay the release of the backend by up to 2 weeks"

Yes folks, there you have it, the most minuscule JSON modifications, can delay your release by up to 2 weeks ........ maybe I should just tell product, that they don't understand how big the app is, and claim we can't build it on our side? Seems to work for them

Thats all the time we have for today,

Tune in for more, where we'll be looking into such topics as:

- If god himself was an iOS developer ... not
- Why automate when you can spend all day doing it by hand
- Its more time-efficient to just give everything a story point of 5
- Why waste time replying to emails ... when you can do nothing instead

See you all next week,
practiseSafeHex

Computer Science is probably the only major where if you suck at it and end up dropping out, you're more likely to be a leader than someone who is good at it and sticks with it.

There were roughly 200 people in my freshman class majoring in CS, by my sophomore year that number had dropped to about 120. A lot of people dropped out because it was too damn difficult for them, and they switched to less technical majors like "Business Information Technology" or "Management Information Systems." Almost without exception, the people who dropped out are now managing teams of developers, they actually have programmers reporting to them. Seriously, WTF?

This isn't even the worst of it, there are people who majored in art history who are now "product managers," who take the word "manager" in their job title literally, they think they're above developers. Some of them will even profess with no small amount of pride that they "know nothing about technology." You can hear the pride in their voice when they say it, as if they're saying "I'm a lot of things, but at least I'm not a geek." Is there any other field of study where people boast with such pride that they know nothing about it? I mean, very few people will say "I know nothing about history" or "I know nothing about literature", and if they do say it, they'll say it with a bit of humility. When it comes to Computer Science though, knowing nothing about it is almost a badge of honor.

Rant the f**k over.

So, as everyone knows on here by now (or, a lot of ranters), I am a fervid privacy person.

Appearantly a new surveillance law in my country is about to extend mass surveillance/hacking a lot. So here a rundown of what they are about to be allowed to do (stuff that is not okay imo and this is the reason I am so pro-privacy):

- Mass Data Gathering: The intelligence agency over here (lets call it IA from now) can pretty much record everything send through the country.

- Extra Protection: If they want to conduct surveillance on journalists/lawyers, they have to go through extra channels first at least.

- Data/survaillance sharing: The IA is allowed to share their raw/filtered data with foreign intelligence agencies without limits. Also, they're allowed to conduct surveillance based on foreign requests.

- Secret DNA database: A secret DNA database will be created which can store the DNA profiles of any person who has commited any kind of crime. These profiles are allowed to be stored for a maximum of 30 years. This database is allowed to be shared with any foreign intelligence agency.

- Hacking: Unlimited power to hack any device deemed neccesary to hack in relation to crime. From computers to smartphones and so on. Also, it's allowed to use zero-days without reporting them to the vendor (we have seen what can go wrong with that through the ShadowBrokers scandal).

- Automatic Database Collection: They are allowed to directly tap into any database they see required (banks, healthcare, messaging services and so on). Practically this can lead to backdoors being build in because if you don't cooperate, you can go to prison. (mother of god I am not using anything closed source anymore if possible).

So yeah, this is pretty much the reason why I am so privacy consious. This country is fucked.

Node duck reporting for debugging duty 😎🦆

TL:DR Software company is shit

So. Our company hired a software company to build us an online app. A garment designer shop type thing.

2 years later, their lead devs quit and we have to take it as it is... not finished, but they said “it’s perfectly usable, there’s just some angular bugs and UI fixes to do”.

Ok so no problem, fixed the bugs and sorted the UI out, we launched the app. All seems fine for a week or so, then the Project Manager tells me that a certain feature isn’t work as expected, I said no problem, I’ll look into it.

After 3 hours, I stumble across the biggest , most ridiculous thing in the world, something so big, that I was forced to Docker-down the backend immediately without approval.

PM comes screaming into my office literally 3 mins later whilst I’m just triple checking my findings before reporting it.

Basically the app is an Angular front end with a Laravel backend.

So the site has Users, which belong to a team, which can create campaigns, which have products. So you design a teeshirt, give it a url, set your own price and do your own selling blah blah...

The problem is, when anyone visits the site, and adds your product to their basket, in your console, you’re returned all the product JSOn, which isn’t a bad thing, except you’re also given the Campaign that this product belongs too, and the team it belongs to, and its users of that team (email address, address, phone) and any orders for that campaign, with customer data like name address, Stripe ID, last 4 digits of credit card.

Literally every bit of personal information in an unguarded endpoint to be publicly visible even if you went to site.com/api/campaigns

You got all that info, echoed out as JSON on your webpage.... no JWT needed, No authentication.

When I quizzed the company that built it, they were like, “yeah so, we don’t really care anymore, we lost interest in the project”.

What a bunch of cunts...

Frontend team : We pushed our code. Please give instructions regarding integration with Backend.

Me : Alright. I'll provide you the API docs and you can continue with integration.

F : But that's your job. No?

Me (didn't want to argue) : I'll look into it. Let me check out the frontend till then.

* Goes on to see the frontend *

I am kidding you not, that moth*rf*ck*r pushed an entire template along with dummy text.

Me : Hey! This doesn't seem right. It's just a template you got off the internet.

F : Yeah! That's what I have to do. To put on the dynamic content from database is your work. Don't put your responsibilities on me!!

Are you f*cking kidding me?! Do your work right or I am reporting you to the team lead!

Meanwhile, team lead : *sips coffee. Disappears for months*

Bastards!

Police officer McDucky reporting for duty. Hope we catch a lot of pesky bugs and complete projects.

Hey everyone! Recently there was a bug discovered which caused many (but not all) “user x posted a new rant” subscription notifs (both in-app and push) to not get sent out for the last week or so. It should be fixed now. Unfortunately though, they won’t be backfilled, so make sure you take a look at your favorite ranters’ profiles since you might not have been notified about their most recent rants.

A big thanks to @gitpush for reporting the issue and thanks to @linuxxx for help testing/confirming the fix worked.

For the basic cause: when we overhauled/fixed push notifs on Android in the last build (about a week ago), we had to convert to FCM. When a “user posted rant” notification was getting sent out, the asynchronous worker would process all of the subscription notifs in a loop. So for users who have a lot of subscribers, somewhere in the loop, something was failing, likely having to do with the new FCM send method. This is now fixed and all push notifs in that worker are also done asynchronously.

Let me know if you have any questions and apologies for the loss of subscription notifs!

Our website once had it’s config file (“old” .cgi app) open and available if you knew the file name. It was ‘obfuscated’ with the file name “Name of the cgi executable”.txt. So browsing, browsing.cgi, config file was browsing.txt.
After discovering the sql server admin password in plain text and reporting it to the VP, he called a meeting.
VP: “I have a report that you are storing the server admin password in plain text.”
WebMgr: “No, that is not correct.”
Me: “Um, yes it is, or we wouldn’t be here.”
WebMgr: “It’s not a network server administrator, it’s SQL Server’s SA account. Completely secure since that login has no access to the network.”
<VP looks over at me>
VP: “Oh..I was not told *that* detail.”
Me: “Um, that doesn’t matter, we shouldn’t have any login password in plain text, anywhere. Besides, the SA account has full access to the entire database. Someone could drop tables, get customer data, even access credit card data.”
WebMgr: “You are blowing all this out of proportion. There is no way anyone could do that.”
Me: “Uh, two weeks ago I discovered the catalog page was sending raw SQL from javascript. All anyone had to do was inject a semicolon and add whatever they wanted.”
WebMgr: “Who would do that? They would have to know a lot about our systems in order to do any real damage.”
VP: “Yes, it would have to be someone in our department looking to do some damage.”
<both the VP and WebMgr look at me>
Me: “Open your browser and search on SQL Injection.”
<VP searches on SQL Injection..few seconds pass>
VP: “Oh my, this is disturbing. I did not know SQL injection was such a problem. I want all SQL removed from javascript and passwords removed from the text files.”
WebMgr: “Our team is already removing the SQL, but our apps need to read the SQL server login and password from a config file. I don’t know why this is such a big deal. The file is read-only and protected by IIS. You can’t even read it from a browser.”
VP: “Well, if it’s secured, I suppose it is OK.”
Me: “Open your browser and navigate to … browse.txt”
VP: “Oh my, there it is.”
WebMgr: “You can only see it because your laptop had administrative privileges. Anyone outside our network cannot access the file.”
VP: “OK, that makes sense. As long as IIS is securing the file …”
Me: “No..no..no.. I can’t believe this. The screen shot I sent yesterday was from my home laptop showing the file is publicly available.”
WebMgr: “But you are probably an admin on the laptop.”
<couple of awkward seconds of silence…then the light comes on>
VP: “OK, I’m stopping this meeting. I want all admin users and passwords removed from the site by the end of the day.”

Took a little longer than a day, but after reviewing what the web team changed:
- They did remove the SQL Server SA account, but replaced it with another account with full admin privileges.
- Replaced the “App Name”.txt with centrally located config file at C:\Inetpub\wwwroot\config.txt (hard-coded in the app)
When I brought this up again with my manager..
Mgr: “Yea, I know, it sucks. WebMgr showed the VP the config file was not accessible by the web site and it wasn’t using the SA password. He was satisfied by that. Web site is looking to beat projections again by 15%, so WebMgr told the other VPs that another disruption from a developer could jeopardize the quarterly numbers. I’d keep my head down for a while.”

My first job was an internship making $12 an hour. Before I was making ~30k selling cars. Completely uprooted and restarted my life. Came in, pointed out a bunch of things they were doing wrong (fearless intern saves the day), and became king of reporting. Within 3 weeks they offered me a full time job at $50k. I couldn't belive my gamble paid off. 5 years later I'm at a new place making way more and couldn't be happier!

Google sucks!
No, not as e-mail or for privacy reasons. Sure, that too, but it comes with "free" stuff.

It sucks because it's breaking every possible record in the worst, shittiest, most insanely stupid APIs and integrations out there on the entire fucking planet!

It is comically stupid!

Aside from their LOVE of hard-deprecating APIs every few months, requiring constant, time consuming maintenance of every tool that integrates deeply with Google services, some of their APIs, for expensive stuff, look like they've been written by Bobby McFartface from 7th grade.

Take a look at DoubleClick Search (their ad performance reporting tool, that sure does sound like one). To upload custom, additional data, you must pass in a ton of parameter, and they REQUIRE some of them to have a specific, hardcoded value. What's the point in passing that parameter then you dickheads?!
But fine, so you uploaded some stuff using the API. Now you want to delete everything and try again after you fixed a bug - well you fucking CAN'T! You can't delete stuff, you can only mark them as "deleted" using an update call.
Bulk operations? Fuck no!
Can I just add on top? Well of course not! That will raise a ton of exceptions. Same message should be transmitted using the PUT, not POST request, in order to edit.
Can I send everything to PUT? Of course not! You can't edit something that's not there, dummy!

Can I see what's there so that I can update it, and add what's missing?
Well of course not! Why on Earth would you need to see what information is in there after you uploaded it? Who needs that anyway?

Simply send, pray, and hope that everything will be fine (it will not).

Like holy fucking crap, it can't get any more stupid!
Google is a huge pile of idiots who feed on only a single cow - the search engine.

It's times like these when I think that Google right now is the worst thing that exists for everyone in tech. It's dragging everyone down with their monopolies everywhere and complete idiocy in managing them.

it's funny, how doing something for ages but technically kinda the wrong way, makes you hate that thing with a fucking passion.

In my case I am talking about documentation.

At my study, it was required to write documentation for every project, which is actually quite logical. But, although I am find with some documentation/project and architecture design, they went to the fucking limit with this shit.

Just an example of what we had to write every time again (YES FOR EVERY MOTHERFUCKING PROJECT) and how many pages it would approximately cost (of custom content, yes we all had templates):

Phase 1 - Application design (before doing any programming at all):
- PvA (general plan for how to do the project, from who was participating to the way of reporting to your clients and so on - pages: 7-10.
- Functional design, well, the application design in an understandeable way. We were also required to design interfaces. (Yes, I am a backender, can only grasp the basics of GIMP and don't care about doing frontend) - pages: 20-30.
- Technical design (including DB scheme, class diagrams and so fucking on), it explains it mostly I think so - pages: 20-40.

Phase 2 - 'Writing' the application
- Well, writing the application of course.
- Test Plan (so yeah no actual fucking cases yet, just how you fucking plan to test it, what tools you need and so on. Needed? Yes. but not as redicilous as this) - pages: 7-10.

- Test cases: as many functions (read, every button click etc is a 'function') as you have - pages: one excel sheet, usually at least about 20 test cases.

Phase 3 - Application Implementation
- Implementation plan, describes what resources will be needed and so on (yes, I actually had to write down 'keyboard' a few times, like what the actual motherfucking fuck) - pages: 7-10.
- Acceptation test plan, (the plan and the actual tests so two files of which one is an excel/libreoffice calc file) - pages: 7-10.
- Implementation evalutation, well, an evaluation. Usually about 7-10 FUCKING pages long as well (!?!?!?!)

Phase 4 - Maintaining/managing of the application
- Management/maintainence document - well, every FUCKING rule. Usually 10-20 pages.
- SLA (Service Level Agreement) - 20-30 pages.
- Content Management Plan - explains itself, same as above so 20-30 pages (yes, what the fuck).
- Archiving Document, aka, how are you going to archive shit. - pages: 10-15.

I am still can't grasp why they were surprised that students lost all motivation after realizing they'd have to spend about 1-2 weeks BEFORE being allowed to write a single line of code!

Calculation (which takes the worst case scenario aka the most pages possible mostly) comes to about 230 pages. Keep in mind that some pages will be screenshots etc as well but a lot are full-text.

Yes, I understand that documentation is needed but in the way we had to do it, sorry but that's just not how you motivate students to work for their study!

Hell, students who wrote the entire project in one night which worked perfectly with even easter eggs and so on sometimes even got bad grades BECAUSE THEIR DOCUMENTATION WASN'T GOOD ENOUGH.

For comparison, at my last internship I had to write documentation for the REST API I was writing. Three pages, providing enough for the person who had to, to work with it! YES THREE PAGES FOR THE WHOLE MOTHERFUCKING PROJECT.

This is why I FUCKING HATE the word 'documentation'.

Just today I noticed how Android Oreo (8.1) on my Nexus 6P can actually see my Bluetooth headset's remaining battery capacity. I didn't even know that my headset could send out this information! Windows never presented this information to me, and neither did my tablet which runs Nougat 7.0. Apparently there's multiple implementations of that battery level reporting too.. so lack of support in Microsoft's driver makes sense. Especially given that the Bluetooth standard already counts several thousands of pages. Compare that to Wi-Fi which is far more complex (with - some of - its 7 OSI layers, 2.4GHz and 5GHz frequencies, MIMO etc) which counts only 400-ish pages. I'm surprised that Google actually supports this Bluetooth battery reporting at all.. implementing all the standards must've been quite the chore.

TL; DR: Bluetooth is an overengineered piece of shit, and is in dire need of refactoring.

My son loves...loves Star Wars, so when Star Wars Battlefront (on the PC) went on sale, he jumped on it.

To my shock (I'm not a big gamer), the game is filled with hackers/cheaters that are able to give themselves 'god' mode, so they can kill in one shot and take no damage.
My son (and others in the game) keeps 'reporting' them, but it looks like an issue EA is ignoring.
My son keeps asking me "You're a programmer, can't you fix the game so they can't do that?"

Good lord...I could care less about russians "hacking" our election (moronic press, doesn't even know what that means), but hacking my son's favorite game!...hmm..wonder how long it would take me to drive to EA headquarters and find that SOB dev manager in charge?
I get it, cheaters are gonna cheat, but fix your friggin' code! Aren't you embarrassed!?

Don't give me any of that "we don't know how they are doing it..." nonsense. This is devrant, not <insert media outlet you hate>.

Yesterday the web site started logging an exception “A task was canceled” when making a http call using the .Net HTTPClient class (site calling a REST service).

Emails back n’ forth ..blaming the database…blaming the network..then a senior web developer blamed the logging (the system I’m responsible for).

Under the hood, the logger is sending the exception data to another REST service (which sends emails, generates reports etc.) which I had to quickly re-direct the discussion because if we’re seeing the exception email, the logging didn’t cause the exception, it’s just reporting it. Felt a little sad having to explain it to other IT professionals, but everyone seemed to agree and focused on the server resources.

Last night I get a call about the exceptions occurring again in much larger numbers (from 100 to over 5,000 within a few minutes). I log in, add myself to the large skype group chat going on just to catch the same senior web developer say …
“Here is the APM data that shows logging is causing the http tasks to get canceled.”

FRACK!

Me: “No, that data just shows the logging http traffic of the exception. The exception is occurring before any logging is executed. The task is either being canceled due to a network time out or IIS is running out of threads. The web site is failing to execute the http call to the REST service.”

Several other devs, DBAs, and network admins agree.

The errors only lasted a couple of minutes (exactly 2 minutes, which seemed odd), so everyone agrees to dig into the data further in the morning.

This morning I login to my computer to discover the error(s) occurred again at 6:20AM and an email from the senior web developer saying we (my mgr, her mgr, network admins, DBAs, etc) need to discuss changes to the logging system to prevent this problem from negatively affecting the customer experience...blah blah blah.

FRACKing female dog!

Good news is we never had the meeting. When the senior web dev manager came in, he cancelled the meeting.

Turned out to be a hiccup in a domain controller causing the servers to lose their connection to each other for 2 minutes (1-minute timeout, 1 minute to fully re-sync). The exact two-minute burst of errors explained (and proven via wireshark).

People and their petty office politics piss me off.

Friday Fuck!!!

Fuck Friday!!!

After I lost a months of work, I was assigned a bug to retest.

Well, something wasn't right. The results were not as expected.

I sat with developer for entire day. We fought, we laughed, we were frustrated, we were trying hard. We literally had no time to even take a leak. We struggled while my entire team was enjoying gala time jerking off each other.

Seniors and managers didn't help when we seeked for help.

Struggled like shit. And found a major bug in one of our earlier realises which is running in production for top clients. Just to remind you, this bug might cause few million dollars of financial loss if that feature is executed.

Well, we report it immediately. My dev friend was excited that we'll be appreciated and rewarded for this discovery. I was sceptical and afraid already because I know shit heads who rule us.

It was observed that one of our other manager was responsible for testing this functionality when it was built and it was missed by her.

Fuck!!! Nobody says a word. And I and my dev friend get questioned that why wasn't it detected earlier.

What the fuck!!! We didn't even know such a functionality existed. We never worked on it. It was missed by some asshole and we get blamed.

Look on my dev friend's face when we were being bashed for no reason was priceless 😂

I could see his world getting shattered.

I stood up for him and myself. Defended ourselves and by now, I have enough experience to game the system.

So I get ourselves out safely and teach my dev friend this valuable lesson on how to deal with shit heads in such situations.

Another corporate lesson: never get excited for reporting something which others missed as it will be dumped upon you and you'll be fucked for doing good.

Had to implement an API reporting on exabytes of data, scaling up eventually to a zettabyte.

I'd never even heard of these words until I started on the project.

Admin work, because its all manual:

- Each new project has to fill out an Excel tab in a workbook, with a list of all the major tasks and who is responsible. This then needs to be used to create a Gantt chart, manually, in the same tab, showing in what month a task starts and ends.

- Every month we have to manually enter status updates into a powerpoint slide on a shared deck. Which has a collision at least once per month.

- Once a quarter we need to do something similar as the powerpoint slides, but into a word doc instead.

- Once a week we need to track our time on projects in a tool that can't be integrated with (no API or anything). Meaning we can't link up a ticket tracking system to it, so again, all manual.

- Once every 6 months a new round of research funding opens up and we write proposals. The status for which are tracked in another Excel spreadsheet, manually, once a week until the deadline.

- The instructions for what to do with the proposals are so vague and badly documented that there is an unwritten rule, that for the first time you will have to ask a bunch of questions to the project manager. This is accepted by everyone and its just the done thing.

- Everything is stored in a dropbox style system, which has become so cluttered I can only find resources by saving the links sent out previously.

- Some of these updates / reports also get a 1 hour meeting for everyone to stand up and read out what they've entered.

- From time to time random things will need to be reported on to the higher ups (how many publications, research papers, patents, times and dates etc.). Again rather than a tool, a new Excel spreadsheet is whipped up and emailed to everyone on the team. Whoever sent it out, then has to merge the 20+ copies into 1 doc.

- Some of the staff (mostly the devs), use a ticket tracking system to keep track of everything. Management refuse to use it to track the things they need. Instead we have to copy paste from it into the word docs, powerpoint, excel etc.

- By far the most annoying. Management force all the above as they need the info for finance, accounting, legal etc etc. So we have to do it, but whenever there is a question from legal, management send the question to us. So despite having documented every facet of everything imaginable, it all gets ignored in favour of endless emails.

I once tried to to put an end to all of this madness by proposing the use of a ticket tracking system, and then building reporting tools on top of it.

... I was told that it "wasn't appropriate". Still don't know what that means.

So yeah, I got fed up with assholes offering unpaid internships while demanding the work of a paid employee and I went around reporting all of them for violating the law.

Hope it does something. I hate these people taking advantage of vulnerable post secondary students for their crappy, worthless startups.

You know your robot "works" when the motor controllers are reporting a hardware error and the wifi doesn't work.

Facebook offering 40k for reporting frauduleuse apps that misuse data.

Surely some on here can make 40k!

Fuck these crusty equifax cocksuckers. This equifax hack makes me livid. Here's why: the entire purpose of the company is to collect absurd amounts of information about everyone in a country through methods that the subjects of the information gathering have no means to control, and there is no immediate penalty for them being irresponsible with it. If they lose all that data, they can only lose damages in class action, and I guarantee you they will learn nothing from it.

THIS IS A WAKE UP CALL TO ALL ASSHOLES WHO THINK PRIVACY AND SECURITY IS NO BIG DEAL. THIS ISNT THE FIRST TIME, AND YET ITS STILL ONLY THE BEGINNING. HACKS LIKE THIS ARE SERIOUS ENOUGH TO RUIN PEOPLES LIVES

I say it over and over again, but nobody listens: half of the reason I don't trust these people is because they don't have a great reason to have that information and I know their IT is total shit and WILL be compromised because they probably figured Windows 2000 works why upgrade. You know I'm right. Their company has fax in the name

There's no need to explain to me why we need to have this in order for the banking and loan industry to work, im not stupid, but for fucks sake, put people's data under the care of their own hands. Have a multi key lock system so the user can control their data, and it's not just totally at your mercy. The fact that it is totally at their mercy is what makes it wildly evil.

If you own a company that is founded on the basis of personally fucking people and taking away their control and you're propped up by government regulations that limit the freedom of the market thereby securing you the freedom to never change despite your flaws, this is for you: im going to personally fuck each and every one of them through every hole in their body with an unlubricated baseball bat and force them to eat every pair of their crusty underpants and then hang them upside down and video tape them starving.

Seriously, it's not hard to design a system that still fills the need without making people surrender their god given rights. Let's just put all of these assholes in jail in Guantanamo bay for the rest of their lives. It's about fucking time.

I hate equifax, i hate credit reporting, I hate the state of personal privacy in the world today.

And I also hate pathetic little cocksuckers like Kim Jong un who are children barely conscious above the level of a single celled organism, who are forcing their subjects to live in a world where access to free information carries a death penalty.

I can hardly sleep at night knowing people are getting away with the worst crimes in the history of humanity and it's all because some developer somewhere did their bidding or did it poorly.

debugging php code without turning on error reporting.

Me: Wish I got one guilty free murder pass..

God: GRANTED! Which software tester would you like to kill?

Lady is reporting me to an online selling service, because "when I buy in country X I expect the thing to be in language X and if not it MUST be written in the selling article".
We are talking about a selling article written in English. For a videogame that is in English. And that I'm not going to buy back from her.
"I'm reporting you so that nobody else will get scammed by you". WTF.
Oh and by the way country X is multilingual anyway.

So instead of using the budget of 7k$ to buy all the plugins the old developer needed, he torrented more than half of them and deployed the system

which ended up in 20 thousand users including companies reporting a breach, because avira etc reported some kind of drive-by scripts on the new website

what a fucking buffoon, the most annoying thing about this is, that all the plugins had a "license file", so I didn't even first get, where all that shit is coming from

Well, fuck. The CTO of our startup decided to migrate data of our hundred thousand customers from a stable functioning platform to an in-house unstable platform with severe performance issues, to "save" costs, despite our repeated requests. He made us not have any contingency plans because he wanted to "motivate" us to complete the migration.

Result- we have a thousand customers reporting major issues daily, which is causing loss of revenue to both us and them. The company ran out of funding. Most of the team members were fired. And he's expecting the rest of us to magically fix everything. Dunno what kind of office politics is this, in which you're sabotaging Your Own company.

Looking for a new job now to get out of this hellhole. I really used to love this company. Feels sad to see it ruined like this.

*** writes unit tests with great zeal and fervor ***

IDE is reporting 85% line coverage, woohoo!

*** grins like a bastard, thinks it's perhaps time to stop and celebrate ***

*** runs branch/conditional coverage... ***

37%

*** facepalm ***

Just finished up my first compiler, with accurate extensible error reporting, and the syntax system is generically typed so I can reuse it. Pretty fucking pleased with myself

I wish my clients would stop reporting "bugs" in my app that are legitimate results calculated from crap feed to it by their upstream systems.

Just because my app is easy to use it's the first place that they find out that their ecosystem is fundamentally broken.

GIGO, people.

Error reporting in metro ticket....

Rant !Dev

News says FB took a huge plunge and Zuckerburg lost $15 billion in 1 day and this is the result of all the privacy breaches

I'm looking at the price charts and even from my memory, it's still higher than when I checked last time.

Am I missing something or it seems news these days and the headline journalists are just monkeys finding the quickest way to get attention and some money? And reporting things out of context... Too me it just looks like a market correction... Just like bitcoins...

Debugging a system error with a good team of fellow developers/devops people is fun.

We had an issue on Friday where we were getting a pretty cryptic error in our error reporting system. A couple of developers and I got together with a couple of devops people and we worked it out well as a team and figured out a pretty complex issue in a reasonable amount of time with everyone playing a solid role.

Nobody tried to steal the show and everyone listened to each other's ideas on what the problem might be. Through and through a great debugging session and made me think about bad ones and good ones I've had in the past.

20+ years ago we got a contract to replace an old home grown system for managing rented equipment for a company with offices in two countries with a new standard system.

I was tasked with building a few addon modules to handle import and reporting that the standard system lacked.

Over the course of 8 months and multiple trips to their head office for on premises development along side their people that knew how it should work (there was a lot of waiting for info so it was not 8 months of actual work) we finally was ready to present the finished solution.

After about one hour of demonstration their boss questioned why we did not demonstrate the connection to their corporate group accounting system ...

“Corporate group accounting?”

After some confused discussion it turns out that in one of the first meetings the sales person had they had mentioned this accounting system and that all accounting info was to be exported there.

This requirement was never listed in the specifications we got and looking into it it turned out that the standard system did not support such exports at all.

In the end we had to throw it all away as it proved impossible to get that info out of the system (which was not of our design).

We barely avoided having to repay all fees as their people had approved the specification but standing there without a clue to what he was asking for was a very scary experience, thinking “how could we miss this?”

Just used my first "It's not a bug, it's a feature" explanation 😂. However, the irritating part is, I had to explain it to another person from IT industry (I mean testers) who is from another company.

And it's really a feature and not a bloody bug. Stop reporting it on the bugs list 😥

Spent an hour trying to figure out what was wrong in my socket disconnect detection code because it was constantly reporting disconnects when it shouldn't have... Only to find it was a pinched cable causing the problem. Meaning it actually did work the entire time.

Got a ticket form a client reporting a calculation giving the wrong outcome.

In return I ask her what she thinks the outcome should be and why.

"The right answer because I said so."

Yeah thanks that's going to help a lot.

The first thing Microsoft installs is Error Reporting 😆. They know it too.

This is random stuff.
I wonder what would happen if an innocent new user unknowingly reports a rant written by @dfox or by @trogus themselves.🤔
Maybe a beautiful post or maybe a nice email like
"Dear @... you might not have realized but @trogus and @dfox are the creators of devRant"

5 of us working for a larger team were tasked with doing some R&D, we blew everyone away and were given funding to start a new team and hire people to make the project come to life.

One of the high level sales / product managers we were reporting to, secretly had another team work on a similar idea because he needed it quicker (i.e. no time for research, just build it).

After forming new team, we were asked to work on his project instead because it was further along. 4 months later, big knob comes to a meeting and basically says "You know what, this doesn't look like we have enough features, we need more, but I don't know what".

Project blew up 2 months later, head of the unit kicked up a shit storm saying how badly everything was planned and canned everything. Now one of our clients is building nearly the same thing we were originally working on, the team no longer exists and i'm back on the R&D team.

Don't get me wrong, I LOVE the R&D team, actually didn't want to leave in the first place but was told I had to. But the sheer anger and frustration to see that walking cluster fuck strutting around like his shit doesn't stink, derailing entire teams, meanwhile we can't hire new staff due to lack of funding.

Heres an idea, fire the fucktards bleeding us dry ... then we'll have lots of funding.

A note to my team, who I hope never actually reads this.

To my manager: Grow a fucking spine, you asshat! We literally ignore you, you are useless!! Other people do your job, and you can't even talk to your reporting person directly! You have us do it!

To my tech lead: You are crazy, but in a good way! I have no idea how you cram so much work into so little time, and I would march into hell for you. You are in the trenches with us, and I respect you greatly!

To dev number 1: You are hard working, but stop modifying my code and breaking it!

To the other devs: If you leave 4 hours before the tech lead anymore, I will beat you to death with a cum filled sock! My rage fucking erection is that strong!

To everyone else: fuck you!

Hoo boy, this is a (very) long one, so read at your own risk,

I'd say, don't judge/generalize people biased by the minority that represent the larger group,

But on the other hand, it's very difficult to do so, especially when working in a group consisting of several dozens of people (devs, tech leads, testers, designers, etc), in separate sub groups

Well first, the devs aren't working with the expected atentiveness to quality & detail, I am not in any way the best developer in terms of knowledge, in fact I might be just a mediocre developer compared to the other tech leads or the other fellow developer, but one thing is that I always tried to learn and try my best to do it in the best way I can,

Quite frequently (and from several specific persons only) I had the honor to experience these farce,

Some people just don't want to admit that they are wrong, clear as day, this specific part here is not doing what it's supposed to do due to someone's negligence, and I was trying to find out how it actually works and how can we fix this, that's right, "we", I'm not even pushing anyone to clean up his mistakes alone, I'm also taking part on it because that became my responsibility when I touched that part of the code, and it's my duty to make sure the job is done, and what did they do? Long story short, somehow the guy was getting angry for an unknown reason, then speaking in high tone implying that it's not his problem anymore, passing the responsibility to someone else, and ultimately everyone said I should figure it out by myself, yeah fuck you all, in the end I was very relieved to be moved back to my original squad and not having too much interaction with their group,

Some (probably) less worse occurences are the devs who rush ahead before they code, literally, it's not the usual "code first, think later", it's way more advanced version of it, let's say some tester found a bug, then it's assigned to a developer, the developer doesn't even bother to check the ticket description, only read the vague title, and doesn't even bother to check the actual behavior on the app, suddenly, there's a Pull Request waiting to be merged, it's mind blowing to see how his PR doesn't actually solve anything, in the end, it confuses several reviewers until they actually run it on their local machine and found out that the bug is either has been fixed or not recurring anymore or the fix doesn't do shit, fucking waste of time

And what about the testers? Sure let's not forget the stereotype about devs vs testers and vice versa, but the ones I'm working with is a real piece of work,

I have no problem with the testers who put a lot of bug tickets, or the ones that is very critical in their bugfinding process, at least that means they are doing their job properly, the ones that dotheir job improperly are the ones that ends up wasting everyone's time, just like above

One time, a tester was reporting a certain UI bug, a certain text was overflowing, it's an edge case and was assigned to me since I works mostly on UI,

A day went by with no avail at my attempt to replicate the bug, turns out he was testing it with his personal phone, which was not included in the device requirement for the project nor described in the bug ticket, but since the screen resolution checks out, the bug is considered valid,

Second day went by with no avail of replicating, my time spent trying all kinds of devices, simulators, emulators, until, the 3rd day a very lucky occurence happened with one other testing device, and another tester reported duplicate bug, obviously I borrowed the phone, and inspected every inch of possibilities, until I noticed something, "the font's kinda bigger on this phone" I thought, then I checked the settings, and lo and behold, the bug is caused by the device's font settings, fuck it, and fuck you

Another time was when I'm not sure whether the testers was being lazy or just acting preoccupied with something, when we create a PR, the specific branch must be tested by tester to ensure nothing broke because of the changes, then only when the tester OK'd it, the PR will be merged,

This thing frequently happens, especially when working cross teams, it's as if that the other team's tester is not responsible for my work, eh, here's two middle finger for you, I'll include my toes also, YOU ARE THE ONE REPORTED THE BUG FOR FUCK'S SAKE, and now you act like it's none of your business?, what's so hard about testing one single branch for a single teeny weenie feature and say ok on it, it won't even take 15 minutes, because I can do it in just 10 minutes, but only the testers had the authority to say that a certain PR is good to merge, fuck it

Last, the point above, "only the testers had the authority to say that a certain PR is good to be merged", and they seem to be flaunting it and act like an important person, fuck you

That doesn't cover half of the antics I saw, but whew, it sure is refreshing to finally speak it out

Fucking hate my job 😡
I joined as nodejs dev at a mnc 3months ago involved in banking software in which i dont have any domain knowledge.. first 10 days I was told to go through fucking udemy nodejs and graphql tutorial (wtf) which i already have experience with before joining.. after that my reporting manager gives me task to resolve fields and gave me shitty jira story link to read.. that shit story link had no explanation about the fields and what the database it is, then she says to use some shitty sdk which is built internally by shiity devloper which had no documentation and have to follow other module which was again written by that sr. Dev... They hav fucked up the graphql and nodejs and entire stack and also till date no one has ever given any explanation about the domain and the fields and database schema.. this manager refuses to share knowledge about the domain now how the fuck i resolve the graphql schema which was again written by non technical b.a.. all they have used is latest technology in a shitty way with no standards to to follow .. no dataloading no caching no batching.. use shitty sdk which does not give access to dbconn and fucking tightly coupling expressjs which when i start consumes crazy 400Mb of memory .. these fucking seniors devs + the fucking b.a having 12+. Yrs exp each have fucked the entire codebase... Each day killing my passion for app development.. fuckkk ... Dunno what to do now

In order to reduce support costs, manager instructed his team to remove all logging/reporting of errors in the company’s CRM application.
Team’s support tickets went down 80%, manager received an award for his efforts, but mysteriously, DBA/support workload increased, bad/missing data,
increased support tickets in other areas of the business (shipping, etc. that relied on correct data from the CRM) and other side-affectual behavior.
Even after pointing this out this correlation, showing before/after code, no one believed the two were related and I was accused of not being a ‘team player’.
“You and the other teams need to learn from his example!”. As ‘punishment’ was I was moved to the team managing the CRM application.

Just curious.

Has anyone ever had to face the wrath of the people they were ranting about here in devRant?

I introduced my reporting manager to this network, and I have done some amount of ranting about him.

I guess you could say 'danger' is my middle name.

Client insisting on Vanilla JS instead of using a existing framework to design a reporting dashboard, because "first I want to build one dashboard page and see how people react to It and what all changes they want. Once we have complete picture in mind we will go for a framework". Sure, let's do the entire work twice for peanuts.

Reporter: We are now here reporting live from the native mobile app wilderness. As you can see in our captured footage, a developer is going rampage over some mobile UI components.

Native iOS: grrrr... I hate radio buttons!!!..grrr...dropdown lists, too! keep them away from me! I'm allergic to android and web controls, d*mn it! what kind of designer are you!?!

Reporter: That's it for today's devRant episode. Back to you, Steve.

Start raising tickets/bugs like you were going to the doctors and things would get fixed a lot faster.

X page doesn't work.

Great information there what about the page isn't working?

Doesn't answer the question and gets pissy when you have to ask them again.

If this was a doctor's appointment all you would've done is walked into my office and yelled it hurts over and over.

Then proceeded to shit on my floor as you're leaving because I didn't diagnose the problem fast enough.

What were you trying to do when the system took a crap?
What did the red text say?
Can you take a screenshot? because the old saying a picture paints a thousand words holds some truth.

If you can go to the doctor and give them a full run down of when you got sick and what symptoms you got in the same order they happened why do you struggle to do the same when reporting a bug.

Useful suggestions from Jira.
I would like to know how the "undefined" button looks like though 😂

Please tell me something wrong with me, and whole world is working like that! It can't be right! Or could it, and I'm just one sad fuck who don't know shit?

So... We've got:
1. Jira reporting (agile style with cards and shit)
2. Task timers (via application integrated to Jira in order to count how much time we spent on a task)
3. End of the day email reporting with description of what we have done today (Jira is not enough?)
4. Daily morning meetings with a team leader to report what we're gonna do today
5. Git merge code reviews for each finished component (that lasts for hours)
6. Weekly status meetings
7. Working hours reporting with a fucking fingerprint

And on top of all of that, the developer is the one who just writes the code - team leader decides how this code is gonna look, what will be written first and what last, what libraries will be used and so on...

Who knew SQL Server Report Manager didn’t have a log off / sign out button when you log in via the web browser?

I didn’t until I tried to test someone’s new credentials and realised I couldn’t log out of my administrator account. MS doesn’t ship it in the box apparently. Because that’s clearly not a useful piece of functionality to have. Except, some people have developed their own hacks to get around it......

Wtf.. mind blown

Several years ago I joined the company I currently work for, as a software support person, with the intention of eventually moving toward the development team.

After a few years doing that, I gradually realised that working in the development team for our products didn't seem that appealing after all, so I went for a more technical support role (essentially debugging all the really complicated problems and reporting the bugs to the devs) which I find fascinating - trying to solve these puzzles is an interesting challenge. It can take days, sometimes weeks to get to the bottom of something really inexplicably weird.

As part of this I get to do some internal dev work on the teams projects (nothing that gets used directly by external users though) and have learned loads of things from my boss over the years (even before I joined this team).

It has its frustrating moments of course but I am definitely glad I didn't follow my original intentions of just being a developer on our main products.

Sometimes what you think you want isn't actually what's ideal for you :)

Came across an XSS vulnerability in a website. After testing I send a report to them to get this as the reply:
Hi, thanks for reporting this to us. We'll look into the issue when we get time."
WTF! They didn't have time to fix security bugs?

This god damn unknown company reported my websites' Facebook page is violating some intellectual property. Facebook report says I must contact the reporting party to get this resolved but there were no contact details specified!! I searched on Google and Facebook om how to contact Facebook but no luck.

How the fuck can I get this resolved if I don't know who reported this? Does anybody here know how the fuck I can contact Facebook?? If you do then please let me know!

I spent few hours trying to figure out why the fuck my Ryzen 5 based notebook isnt turbo boosting at all. And well after few fucking hours figured that Ryzen CPUs are turbo boosting and quite well actually but arent reporting it to system on Linux.
Well those are hours that i could spend compiling android but nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. Why the fuck didnt they said it from the start ? Ahhhhhh

My company has been looking for a project time tracking and reporting app/website for 2 years but are too cheap to buy one. So they want me to develop one to their specifications which are forever changing. Let's say I've intentionally wasted so much time "perfecting it". it's been done for 2 months.

Idiot: Hello, Sam gave me yo #, I need avery small database system, how much wd it cost.
Me: I can't giv u a price without knowing features of the system in details.
Idiot: letme send u a list of the features.
Me: ok
Idiot: Budget issues, Payroll, Reporting, capabilities, Purchasings,Projects/Awards, Trainings ,Input query, Fixed, assets, Central invoicing, General ledger, Accounts, payable, Accounts receivable.
Me: you managing a financial institution?
Idiot: no, its a university project.
Me: well am sory bt I can't help you guys, I dnt do campus projects.

My roommate still watches the local news (which has turned into the equivalent of an social media click bait page on TV) and they started talking about the Google docs phishing emails. The magical cure that you can ONLY find out on their free app is to delete it, who knew. Also they were showing similar images to this to depict the attackers during the reporting..

This is why I can't watch TV or take "news" seriously anymore, and thank the rubber ducky Gods that they have a half hour time slot dedicated to cringey memes and viral videos that "you NEED to know"..

Asked to do reporting on all of our workstations and servers patching compliance. Invited to team meeting with head administrator which should know where this data is stored and how to get to it. After five minutes can already tell this guy is all talk and has no clue about anything. To make matters worse he has a list of certifications and qualifications in his email signature. I figure out on my own where the data is, how to get access to it, and build reports which show just how terrible the head administrator is at patching and in general just useless. Roll forward two months, his boss comes and tells me useless admin has been let go and that I'll have a new admin to work with that actually knows stuff. HOW DO THESE PEOPLE GET HIRED!?

Ordered a new LG TV. First thing I did was hoist “install PiHole” up to the top of my to-do list so that I can make sure the TV isn’t going to be reporting telemetry to anyone.

Glad I did. My phone and Windows VM’s now pull DNS only from the PiHole. What a great piece of software.

I was working on email reporting to business customers and in the test phase was mass sending email to my own account. However it suddenly stopped working and it took me a few minutes to realize I had commented out the hardcoded line with my email address. I had to write to each Customer and apologize for the spam after my error. Also had to get whitelisted our email server after the incident with a few.

Postman Rant

wow just wow ! just got turned my home internet off by the cable company. And they are right to do !
I apparently didn't sent them their money. But why didn't I ?
Im the typo guy who likes a bill in any type and then pay it. Sorry for beein old fashioned there. Now this lack of human intelligence aka. my postman didn't brought me them. Instead I always receive others Bills and shit( ok sometimes he drops it right ). Does he think the people
in this house live in a fuckin hippie community or some
shit where we all are one system. WTF ????

But my revenge will come you giant shitpile, except from reporting you to your office.
You FUCKED with my internet connection. That's personal

In my senior year of college we had to make a restaurant pos system. Our group made a functional realtime android tablet app.

That allowed for customers to place order, request refills, play a very small game, chat with other tables, and pay for the check which supported splitting.

When an order was placed it strait to the cook part of the app. Which could view orders and complete them based on table number.

When an order was complete or a drink refill request the server part was notified. Where the server could view and finish orders based on table number.

There was also a very lite admin web component for basic reporting.

The UI was horrid, but we completed this in less than a month.

So for the past 3 weeks I have been reporting that the development on X tickets has been completed and are deployed for testing.

Testers, fuck it we are not testing.
BA: yeah ok.

So nobody is testing.

And this Friday evening BA panics, starts emailing everybody, we need those items tested blah blah..

Now he is calling the testers over the weekend for testing 😂

And adds few more changes to requirements. (WTF)

Says:- He will also be testing over the weekend.

IT team :- Systems won't be working due scheduled maintenance. 😂😂 In your face BA

IT people best timing ever🤘

Hope he learns some prioritizing.

Reporting is not fun..

Scenario 1:
* A user says they need to export certain data from our system..
* Developer W makes report called "Foo detail report"

Scenario 2:
* A user says they need this report to also show some extra fields
* Developer X makes a new report called "Foo detail report (extra fields)"

Scenario 3:
* A user says they need this report to be run with a different search criteria
* Developer Y makes a new report called "Foo detail report (extra fields) by bar"

Scenario 4:
* A user says they need this report show data grouped in a different way
* Developer Z makes a new report called "Foo detail report (extra fields) by bar- new grouping"

The above scenarios happened over and over for several years in no particular order...

Current Day:
* Some users have certain reports they use and rely on but we don't know which ones
* Nobody really knows what all of the reports do or what is the difference between them without looking at the sql
* If we want to change data structures we have many reports to update
* I have a request from a user to add an extra column to one of the reports

All my tasks was development, last week our boss gave me a testing task, and I completed it.
He said that the developers will hate me if I keep reporting every expected/unexpected, small/big, normal/critical bugs , so that he sent me back to the development team.
I just wondering if I misunderstand the word "testing"!!?

Boss hired a freelancer to work on a new reporting dashboard. Freelancer also built a backed. Boss wants me to work on fixing that backend. I check out the DB first only to find plaintext passwords. I threw up a little.

Laravels error reporting is sometimes fucking useless. Yesterday it wrote into the logs "class foo doesn't exist". I triple checked the including of this class. Checked the namespaces. Checked the classnames. Everything was ok.
Today I removed the content of this particular class, which returned an array. And the error was gone...

After further search I realized I was missing commas within the array deceleration...

Why the fuck you don't just tell me this????!?

non dev half assed finance guy who came to "help" us with our accounting software's reporting: "easy just copy and paste the database"

drop database YourPatheticExistence

Two notable things happened to me today on devRant:
1. I accidentally +1'd a random rant. I feel rude to undo it.
2. I accidentally reported a random comment. I feel stupid for having done such thing.

Now I'm expecting to get a notification saying It wasn't worth reporting :/

Follow up on a previous rant:

I visited a customer to talk about the reporting discrepancy between two applications.

It turns out the applications were custom built by outsourced developers from Russia, that communicate with each other through a byzantine (and completely undocumented) series of web services, excel import/export tasks, and a customized SSRS environment.

These are spread across at least half a dozen servers, some on-premise and some cloud based, there are at least 3 SQL servers (2 running 2005, one running 2000), a 10 year old local install of TFS (which no one knows a username/password for), and who-knows-what-else.

They laid off their entire IT team years ago, and they have no backups.

I'm not certain anyone there even understands what the software is supposed to be doing beyond the most general terms.

No one knows if they even have source code.

Biggest case of "nope!" I've encountered in more than 20 years of IT experience.

Bloody fucking Crystal. Lame fucking excuse for a reporting engine product.
Can’t change data source from API for a report containing List of Values at runtime.
What the actual fuck! A reporting system where I can’t change the data source.
Die in hell you Fucking blood sucking leeches. Die of malaria!

I am defending my project today "Effect of international financial reporting standards on company performance (a case study of quoted manufacturing firms in Nigeria). Pray for me

So on a PowerBuilder app I worked on last year (I know right...), suddenly the business users were reporting that they couldn't edit some of their prices! When they clicked save, the screen would refresh and lose their work.

We had recently upgraded the system to allow them to enter hundreds of prices at a time, much more than there had ever been. But that code wasn't anywhere near this part!

Tracking this down was really fun... By great fortune, I discovered the row the users were editing was the 99th row in the DataWindow. As it turned out, in the distant past (this is PowerBuilder, after all) the returns code "99" had been used as a flag to mean "cancel/refresh the screen".

I of course offered to "fix it right", but the powers that be wanted it fixed cheaply, so we just changed the flag to "9999". 😬

So today I found a file share containing some super super sensitive information accessible to what I think was our entire user base (6,500 users) if you knew the server name and had an interest in nosing around.

I reported it to our head of IT and heard nothing after, although 5 mins after reporting I could no longer access...

I suspect the infrastructure lead is going to be a dick (because his one of them awkward non team player kind of guys) and not thank me for preventing our company from being in national news papers... but try to spin it on why am I nosing around his servers in the first place..

I actually feel 50/50 about if I should of told or not.. but on flip side, I guess the access logs of me listing the files as I flick through to confirm my suspicions would of caused s bigger headache.

Fucking useless infrastructure engineers!

I have an idea and I want some feedback.

I'm the only web developer and I've been updating our systems so they can be maintainable. Previously we have used Wordpress for landing pages which is complete overkill So here's the idea:

Static sites for landing pages and any forms that would need to filled out would be on a separate site.

Ok so here me out. First the landing pages barely need any maintenance so using pure HTML/CSS/JS wouldn't be a problem. This means I can strip away all of the crap from Wordpress and make the load times faster. Second all of the landing pages forms would be hosted in a single place making analytics easier for the reporting system.

Really I just despise Wordpress and am trying any practical reason to not use it as much as possible. Oh and don't worry I'll use preprocessors and minify the production files.

So, we (I'm the backend guy and work with a UI dev) are building this product portfolio management tool for our client and they have a set of 250 users. The team has two point of contacts for the 250 users who maintain the master data, help users with data quality, tool guidance, reporting and other stuff. So one day one of these two support users come to me and say : Hey I'm not able to add new transactions coz a customer is missing.

We have the provision to create / maintain customers.

I check the production DB, application code, try creating the customer and then the transaction, everything works perfectly fine.

I ask the user for a screen sharing session, the user starts reproducing the error like this :

We have a 3 system landscape - Dev / Test and Prod

U : Logs into the test system url, creates the customer.

U : Points out the toast saying customer creation is successful.

U : opens a new tab, opens the production system, tries creating the transaction, searches for the customer and says " see !! cant find the customer here ! the master data management apps never work !! "

FML?.

Last Scrum Meeting, set up our new Container Server and installed Sentry (Bug Reporting Tool) on it. I was pretty proud, since it was one of my first DevOps thingies I had to work on. (I may end up as a DevOps Engineer after my Internship) In the scrum meeting, the colleagues just start saying everything with a French accent and just laugh about their french jokes while I'm in the middle of showing them sentry.. they were literally unstoppable... 😡 And weren't paying any attention to my presentation.

So here's a random idea: DDoS defence swarm.

Install the daemon on your server, and every time your server gets DDoS'd, all members of the swarm will mobilise to defend you, but the catch is that your server will have to help other members of the swarm too.

The defensive technique in question can be one of many:

1. Automated IP blocking/reporting with a blacklist in distributed form.
2. Other swarm members counterattack and cooperatively DDoS the offending addresses.
3. Flood the ISP with automated emails to force them to pay attention to the problem.

...or a combination of all of the above.

The only issue I can see with this is abuse potential. A clever person can trick the swarm into DDoSing innocents.

Asshole that my client hired: "You will be reporting to me now. As per client request."

Me: "I will murder you."

We are so fucked up at our company:

While the support for our client hardware is running out, our operation departement has just found out that Windows 7 is no longer supported on new HW. Well, that for itself is not bad, but we have a really old tool for reporting our daily work. And because that mo*fu*ing piece of customized software still runs in 16bit mode, it will not run on Win 10 anymore.

Alternative solutions are too expensive, so I see that we will have to port that crap somehow from 1997 to 2017 ourself 😲 Replacing is not an option because there are a ton of Excel sheets connected to the database, even the company balance is made with that data (and also in Excel). At least it is our CEO which has built that crap. So he has to pay for his twenty year old sins!

developing Android application for reporting Road events....
I was late to submit an update consisting of the Users Report History with options to view, delete and Re-report(which didn't make sense since it's reported already).....
I had to put a Toast to thank user for reporting but literally nothing is sent to server

\Bug Report/

With personal hotspot on, certain pages cut off half of the bottom navigation bar - profile is one such page (see attached ss).

iPhone 6 on iOS 10

The business is prioritizing error reporting for issues we are aware of over actually fixing the bugs. Isn't that kind of like installing smoke detectors in a house that's already on fire instead of calling the fire department?

The first time I saw "Real Feel" or "Feels Like" on the weather app, I thought that number was calculated by someone going out of their home every hour or so and reporting what it feels like outside. I thought this would be a perfect job for someone who spends a lot of time at home...

Found an issue on Medium.com as I was not able to comment on some stories.. after some followups I found that it is because of CORS... they stopped responding after I responded with the reason. :(

Error reporting was flooded with failed database connection connections with me being baffled what was causing it.

Yeah, fucking network operator didn't tell us anything about maintenance work. Fuck you, too.

I've a question. Has anyone in here ever be forced to use something as remotely frustrating as SQL Server Reporting Services (ssrs)? I swear it is one of the most convoluted piece of shit ever.

<meta-rant>
Jesus DevRant, at least confirm before reporting a rant! Now I feel sorry for reporting something I just wanted to mute...
</meta-rant>

I set up an issue tracker for a software I'm developing for a company. Sent them an invitation to that tracker, stating that I hope to keep discussions more concise and clear that way (they're all HW/Embedded Devs)

The good news is: they've taken to the tracker quite well and are happily reporting issues and discussing them.

The bad news is: they're all sharing a single account.

It's been up for a day now and already no one knows anymore who reported/commented what.

WHY, JUST WHY would you think it's a good idea to share an account between 5 people, maybe more, who knows? Creating one takes less than a minute and it's free ffs.

Thanks openssh for responding to a malformed key, not by telling me it's malformed, but instead by asking for a passphrase on a key with no passphrase. That only cost me two hours of my life. :P

My life was troublesome today, had to help a non programmer to run jar files.

The jar executed well from command line in Windows 10 but didn't work on double click.

Did all the tricks, registry edits, cmd commands and at last I found a miracle tool called Jarfix.

Just double click and all okay.

The root cause of the problem was 7zip.

This bug is reported in the Oracle bug reporting and they have closed it as " Will not fix" low-priority report.

The year was 2006. During the first half of my career, I use to work in the NOC. This was before I made my transition to software engineer. I worked on the third shift for a bank services company. The company was on a down turn. Just years earlier they just went public, and secured a deal with a huge well known bank. Eventually they entered a really bad contract with the bank and was put into a deal they couldn't deliver on. The partnership collapse and their stock plummeted. The CEO was dismissed, and a new CEO came in who wanted to "clean things up".

Anyway I entered the company about a year after this whole thing went down. The NOC was a good stepping stone for my career. They let me work as many hours as I liked. And I took advantage of it, clocking in 80 hours a week on average. They gave me the nick name "Iron Man".

Things started to turn around for the company when we were able to secure a support contract with a huge bank in the Alabama area. As the NOC we were told to handle the migration and facilitate the onboarding.

The onboarding was a mess with terrible instructions that didn't work. A bunch of software packages that crashed. And the network engineers were tips off, as they tunnel between our network and the banks was too narrow, creating an unstable connection between us and them. Oh, and there were all sorts of database corruption issues.

There was also another bank that was using an old version of our software. The sells team had been trying to get them off our old software for over a year. They refuse to move. This bank was the last one using this version, and our organization wanted to completely cut support.

One of the issue we would have is that they had an overnight batch job that had an ETA to be done by 7 AM. The job would often get stuck because this version of the software didn't know how to fail when it was caught in an undesired state. So the job hung, and since the job didn't have logging, no one could tell if it failed unless the logs stopped moving for an hour. It was a heavily manually process that was annoying to deal with. So we would kill the JVM to "speed" the job up. One day I killed the JVM but the job was still late. They told me that they appreciated the effort, but that my job was only to report the problem and not fix it.

This got me caught up in a major scandal. Basically they wanted the job to always have issues everyday. Since this was critical for them, all we needed to do was keep reporting it, and then eventually this would cause the client to have to upgrade to our new software. It was our sales team trying to play dirty. It immediately made me a menace in the company.

For the next 6 months I was constantly harassed and bullied by management. My work was nitpicked. They asked me to come into work nearly everyday, and there was a point I worked 7 days with no off days. They were trying to run me so dry that I would quit. But I never did.

On my last day at the company, I was on a critical call with a customer, and my supervisor was also on the line. My supervisor made a request that made no sense, and was impossible. I told her it wasn't possible. She then scalded me on the call in front of customers. She said "I'm your supervisor, you're just a NOC technician, you do what I say and don't talk back". It was embarrassing to be reprimanded on a call with customers. I never quite recovered from that. I could fill myself steaming with anger. It was one of the first times in my adult life that I felt I really wanted to be violent towards someone. It was such a negative feeling I quit that day at the end of my shift with no job lined up.

I walked away from the job feeling very uncertain about my future, but VERY relieved. I paid the price, basically unable to find a job until a year and a half later. And even was forced to move back in with my mother. After I left, the company still gave my a severance. Probably because of the supervisor's unprofessional conduct in front of customers, and the company probably needed to save face. The 2008 crash kept me out of work until 2009. It did give me time to work on myself, and I swore to never let a job stress me out to that degree. That job was also my last NOC job and the last job where did shift work. My next few jobs was Application Support and I eventually moved into development full time, which is what I always wanted to do.

Anyway sorry if it's a bit long, but that's my burnout story.

Is it good or bad that the rest of my team is working on the large (shoddilly built) apps but I'm on the side building analytics, reporting, and other tools? (basically telling people why there are so many problems with their app).

How 2018 brings an aww bug.

At my company, we've a reporting application. Which kind of provides analysis of client's weekly business. When you open the application it shows their business trend starting from Sunday to day of week.

As usual their is an endpoint to get the data basis on start date. As soon as date changed to 1st Jan, it stopped showing data. Given that it was a long weekend, no one was available from the tech. Support team got tremendous amount of tickets for this. Later on Tuesday while debugging we got to know while forming the date in the application the logic was like this

- get current year
- get the date and month on start of week

Combine these 2 and request the data. All the time it was fetching data starting from 31 Dec 2018.

😒😒😒

First and foremost, students should be carefully taught the logic and mentality behind programming. Most of the time I see that the introductory programming courses waste so much energy in teaching the language itself. So students kinda just get fucked cause many people end up ending the course without having actually gained the "programming perspective".
Stop teaching pointers and lambdas and even leave the object oriented stiff till later. If a student doesn't know why we use a For loop then how can they learn anything else.
I believe once that thing in your brain clicks about programming, everything goes smooth from there... kinda :P

Second of all, and this pertains mainly to the engineering and science disciplines.
We need a fundamental and strong mathematical foundation. And no I don't mean taking fucking double integrals. Teach us Linear Algebra, Graph theory, the properties of matrices, and Probability theory.
One of the things I suffered from most and regret in university is having a weak foundation in math and having to spend more time catching myself up to speed.
It's so annoying reading a paper on a new algorithm or method and feeling like an idiot because I can't understand what magic these people did.

Numerical Methods...
Ok this is more deeper, maybe a 2nd year course.
But this is something we take for granted.
Computers don't magically add and subtract and multiply.
They fuck up.
And it'll bite you in the ass if you're not even aware that the computer we all love so much isn't as perfect as we think

Some hardware knowledge.
Probably a basic embedded systems course with arduinos
just so you can get a feel for how our beautiful software actually makes those electrons go weeeeeeeee

And finally
Practice practice
Projects projects
like honestly
just give me the internet and some projects
Ill learn everything else
Projects are the best motivation
I hate this purely theoretical approach
where we memorize or read code and write these stupid exams
Test what we are capable off
make us do projects that take sleepless nights and litres of coffee
And judge our methods, documentation, team work, and output

Team work skills and tools (VCS, communicating, project management, etc.)

Documentation and Reporting
Properly
:)
maybe even with LaTeX :D

Yeah that's the gist of whats on my mind at the moment regarding an ideal computer science education
At least the foundations
The rest I leave it to the next dude.

Avast stoping my benchmark and reporting it to me is like a dog that proudly brings a bone to you while you walk with him on a cemetery.
I know about it before I started the benchmark so i deactivated it for 30min, but then for some reason (i may have accidently clicked on the symbol) the ui opened and everytime it does that it for some reason resets the option so it was active again. Now it deleted parts of the Software and I have a hard time making it run again. Fml and fuck monday. Why isn't there an option to make a fucking exception or remove something from their fucking virus container if it was a false alarm?

Weekly report 😭☕

What is a cool naming scheme for the servers
for example we have 6 environments for the QC to run their tests, what would be a cool way to name them

I thought of bugs names,since we are a bug reporting company

what do you think guys

After reporting several bugs/blockers, demanding the product owner to set up some kind of notification her answer is:
We know the problem, first ocured 2 years ago, but I'm not in the mood to do something.

Ticket: Closed/Won't fix or Clodes/Works as designed

Reporting server connection to database is down, probably due to a user access restriction.

reported the issue to the India sql datacenter and got back: Yes, We see that the connection is down. ( I sent them screenshot of it including the error message ) There is no such database available.
Me: Yes, well I'm in the db working right ( send screenshot) now.
India: ..... disappear offline.

Wasting time of 20+ developers to deliver a 'how to use a bug reporting system', coz:
- you've only 2 newembers in team, and
- just to have a bi-weekly meeting.
Is not productive, motivating and wise by any means.

Combined $$$/hr amount here is quite an important metric.

I swear business people are so stupid. They take us off of a real priority programming project and then tell us to stop and send emails to gather reporting data.

I am a developer...not an email jockey. Get someone with a business degree and nothing better to do to do this shit.

Fuck you facebook
Fuck you zuckerberg and your dumb support.

Your fuckin shitty platfoem became even more garbage. You ban accounts for no fuckin reason. People reporting accounts continuously for posts that are in a closed group that the first thing the group description declares that if you feel offended you should just leave and the posr are jokes.

And fuck your support too for not fuckin being helpful while you explain to them that you are targered.

Fuck you, seriously, people can’t even take a joke and you fuckin support them.

I hope your trash platform dies.

Spent 10 minutes today trying to work out why code was reporting unreachable. Realised it was beneath a return statement that I somehow skimmed over 1000 times.

Uni is killing me. FML

Manager: Our customer is reporting a crash on the iPhone 5SE.
Me: There is no such thing as the iPhone 5SE.
Manager: Well, I can show you their report right here..
Me: 😑

Just had a discussion with a support person, it seems I need or use safari or opera OS to be able to watch a recording of an open class I has.

The platform they jse works on with flash (fucking hate it), and it seems linux is not supported because I need to install flash.

I was just reporting a stupid bug, I am watching these on my phone and staying away from installing flash.

God dammit.

Reporting bugs feels goooood!

Spend about half the day fixing a bug. Whilst reporting it complete on our ticket system, QA change the ticket's expected outcome. Ffs.

Open a older case in #JIRA and either I'm in past or this thing is messing with me today Jan 30, 2018

After a year of using mongo in prod and personal projects I have realised some things. Its really nice early on the project, especially when there are changing requirements and for small projects or proof of concepts.
But when you make commercial software things tend to get more complex and relational. Stakeholders want reporting and even a report building which a document store isn't the best at.
With most projects projects when they get big things get relational and this becomes more and more expensive to handle in terms of compute power and developer time.
I don't doubt mongo has its place, maybe as an secondary specialised data store or if the project is inherently document oriented.
Blog over.

DR-4798: Have notifications be marked as read only when clicked on instead of after seeing content
Priority: Should Fix
Type: Story
Description:
**Background**
Some users are reporting that they are not seeing all of their notifications because one notification marks all other notifications as read. This is because users mostly focus on the notification tapped on and then return to the notification screen. But other notifications such as mentions may reside on the same page and thus marks notification as read leaving users to miss out on possible important responses, etc.

Let’s change the way we mark notifications as read by only marking them as read once clicked on not seen.

I remember when that IRS back tax scam was a thing and I had to explain to my parents that they couldn't access irs.gov or the fraud reporting sites because their home network had been MITM'd. Was told "But it's a .gov, aren't those only accessible if you're in the government?" Then they blamed me because I'm "a hacker and maybe the feds caught on" (I do digital forensics and security auditing, but my day job is enterprise hardware repair.) Should have just tethered to my phone for my visit and let them suffer the consequences tbh

Part of my remote work is to have a daily call reporting in on what I have done yesterday and what I am about to today. My colleague calls me for it. She's hired as a tech support and is suddenly assigned to take note and report on my work activities to our boss. Several times, I caught her pretending to know what I'm talking about like with Puppet configurations, Firewall diagnosis packets, ActiveMQ, Regex, etc. Most of the time, I just let it go as its not my job to validate her knowledge on these different but many services. Just do the call, get the report in, carry on. How difficult was that?

Yesterday, our call was left sour because I somehow blew up. I think I've reached my patience with this woman's assumptions to how these services work. Now I feel guilty for yelling at a lady but goddamn she stoopid for fibbing through my ear. Somebody help! What do I do?

If I report to our boss about her technical incompetence (politely), she might get sacked. She's a good tech support as long as she still has her trusty manuals by her, she can fix specific problems. But when it comes to unknown tech to her, she assumed she knew.

If I tell her about her weaknesses, however constructive I can get and as politely as I can get, all the while complimenting something about her, showing her how to improve herself, maybe she'll do better not to ask silly questions like buying a Puppet certificate? At least getting rid of ignorance would definitely help but not sure how she would take it. The worst thing I would imagine is her backfiring and yelling at me and then we ended up fighting.

If I kept quiet and tuck it all into a can, it will eventually implode as we go on.

This is not about her gender. I don't see her as a woman. I see her as a tech support engineer who should know her stuff.

Helping out a team, I was documenting some code/processes when I came across several classes that was logging a lot of, IMO, 'junk' that was unnecessary (and I knew wasn't being used in any Splunk alerts/reports)

I offer a refactoring suggestion, simplifying the data being logged, moving the duplicate code to a central location, maybe saving 10~20 lines of code. Didn't think it was a big deal because they were already actively working on the code and it was all new code (nothing deployed to production yet). Sent the suggestion to the lead developer and he responds:

Dev: "Yes, the changes looks fine, but not in scope of the project. Any out of scope work will need to be suggested at the end of the project, reviewed by the team, the project manager and approved by the vice president."

"Out of scope"? Logging data to Splunk needs a vice president's approval? WTF?
YOU PROBABLY HAVE THE PROJECT OPEN IN VISUAL STUDIO RIGHT NOW!!!

Along with the documentation the lead dev said they didn't have time to do, I send his boss and the dev team my suggested changes (before-after screen shots of the code) and offered to do the 2 minutes worth of work (again, this was new code, nothing in production and zero side affects to anything).
I even offered to create the splunk reporting/alerting against the data being logged (another item they said they would not have time to do)

About a minute later the lead dev responds..

Dev: "Those changes look good. I'll have Jake make those changes and we can test the logging when we deploy to dev on Monday. Thanks!"

Of course you will...fracking ass hat.

I'll bet my Battlestar Galactica DVD box set he was going to make the changes himself, brag to his boss how he refactored the code, saving X lines of code..blah blah blah to help *me* with documenting the logging portion.

By all means create a bug and use an acronym that's never been used before...

I think one of the great things about this app is how we handle bug reporting. Any time someone posts about a bug, people independently do extensive tests to determine the extent of the bug (or at least what devices are affected), and people nearly always give detailed replication steps. I think this is a great feature of this community

Does anyone else here have problems on stack exchange with everyone reporting posts!!!!!

So I'm pretty new to PHP after coming off 5 years worth of Java. So far I've used nothing but standard, out-of-the-box code. Anyone got any recommendations for frameworks or nice tools I could look at? I'd especially like something that could make forms and database interactions easier (my software is a lot of data capturing and reporting)

Crazy: I had this issue with vc-state reporting 'edited on a visited file even after all changes made were pushed to the remote Git repository in a commit. Looking for answers in Emacs Stackexchange I find someone having the same issue --in a different context-- but with no replies, the question passed unanswered like six months... until now!. Took me one minute this time (I have been dragging this during two years or so) to find out we had vc-refresh-state which solves my issue and the issue of OP in Emacs Stackexchange.

It was a matter of hooking it with some Magit's hooks and you are ready to go!.

Our software outputs some xml and a client has another company loading this xml into some data warehouse and doing reporting on it. The other company are saying we are outputting duplicate records in the data.

I look and see something like this:
<foo name="test">
<bar value="2" />
<bar value="3" />
</foo>

They say there are two foo records with the name test..
We ask them to send the xml file they are looking at. They send an xlsx (Excel!) file which looks like this:

name value
test 2
test 3

We try asking them how they get xlsx from the xml but they just come back to our client asking to find what we changed because it was working before. Well we didn't change anything. This foo has two bar inside it which is valid data and valid xml. If you cant read xml just say so and we can output another format!

Slept for a bare total of 10 hours in the last three days, preparing, organising and headlining a Developer centric event with tech talks and Codelabs on Kotlin and ES6 at my university with just 3 active team members.
Professor incharge comes, fucks shit up, changed the ending note summary and sent it to the reporting authorities without my knowledge.
Now I am being asked why the actual event and the proposed agenda don't match.
Fuck shitty teachers who don't know what they're doing. 😑

Android 7 error reporting: There often isn't any.

Story of my first successful project

Being part of a great team, I've shared in a lot of successes, one I am particularly proud of is my first attempt to use agile methodologies in a deeply waterfall-managment culture.

Time was June/July-ish and we applied for a national quality award where one key element in the application stated how well we handled customer complaint resolution.
While somewhat true (our customer service is the top-shelf good stuff), we did not have a systematic process in resolving customer complaints. Long story short,
the VP lied on her section of the application. Then came the 'emergency', borderline panic meeting (several VPs, managers, etc) to develop a process to better manage
complaints before the in-house inspection in December.
As most top priority projects go, the dev manager allocated 3 developers, 2 DBAs, and any/all network admins we would need (plus all the bureaucratic management that wanted their thumb in the pie).
Fast forward to August, after many, many planning meetings, lost interest, new shiny bouncing balls, I was the only one left on the project. The VP runs into the dev manager in the hallway and asks "Is my program done yet? If its not ready before December with report-able data, we will not win the award."
The <bleep> hit the fan...dev manager comes by...
Frank: "How the application coming along? Almost done?"
Me:"No, haven't really started coding. You moved Jake and Tom over to James's team, Tina quit, and you've had me sidetracked helping other teams because the DBAs are too busy."
Frank: "So, it's excuses. You really think the national quality award auditors care about your excuses? The specification design document has been done for months. This is unacceptable."
Me: "The VP finished up her section yesterday and according to the process, we can't start coding until the document is signed off."
Frank: "Holy f<bleep>ing sh<bleep>t! No one told you *you* couldn't start. You know how to create tables and write code."
Me: "There is no specification to write to. The design document is all about how they plan on reporting the data, not how call agents will be using the application to serve customers."
Frank: "The f<bleep> it isn't. F<bleep>ing monkeys could code against that specification, I helped write it! NO MORE F<bleep>ING EXCUSES! This is your top priority from now on!"

I was 'cleared' to work directly with the call center manager and the VP to develop a fully integrated customer complaint management system before December (by-passing any of the waterfall processes that would get in the way).

I had heard about this 'agile' stuff, attended a few conference tracks on the subject, read the manifesto, and thought "I could do this.".

Over the next month, I had my own 'sprints' and 'scrums' with the manager (at the time, 'agile' was a dirty word so I had to be careful of my words and what info I shared) and by the 2nd iteration had a working prototype.
Feature here, feature there (documenting the 'whys' and 'whats' along the way), and by October, had a full deployed application.

Not thinking I would get a parade or anything, the dev manager came back from a meeting where the VP was showing off the new app to the other VPs (and how she didn't really 'lie' on the application)

Frank: "Everyone is pleased how well the project turned out, except one thing. Erin said you bothered him too much with too many questions."
Me: "Bothered? Did he really say that?"
Frank: "No, not directly, but he said you would stop by his office every day to show him your progress and if he needed you to change anything. You shouldn't have done that."
Me: "Erin really seemed to like the continuous feedback. What we have now is very different than what we started with."
Frank: "Yes, probably because you kept bothering him and not following the specification document. That is why we spend so much time up front in design is so we don't waste management's time, which is exactly what you did."
Me: "We beat the deadline by two months, so I don't think I wasted anyone's time. In fact, this is kind of a big win for us, right?"
Frank: "Not really. There was breakdown in the process. We need better focus on the process, not in these one-hit-wonders."

End the end, the company won the award (mgmt team got to meet the vice president, yes the #2 guy). I know I played a very small, somewhat insignificant role in that victory, I was extremely proud to be part of the team.

Work is 90 % asking, waiting, talking, mailing, searching, reporting ... and 10 % work.

I missed my aim and ended up reporting a rant instead of unmuting it 😕

Recently had to deal with support of Ring and Nest due to some issues with their cloud services (i.e. not with my device or apps). So fed up of being told to uninstall, reinstall, reset this etc. when I go look on Twitter and see others reporting the exact same problems at the same time. What bothered me most is that I start by explaining the exact issue, that other have same problem (including other users on my account in different cities etc.) and they just ignore it and start copy/pasting bits of their self-help articles.

As someone who has been developing a game (not even close to 20% done) and dealing with bug reports, I'm pissed off by this one report from a game I play, which I'll just shamelessly copy-paste it here for y'all to read and rant
"Title: [sic]lag never fixed
[sic]i dont wanna report lag doesnt mean there's no lag ,
the LAG is real, and is getting worse and worse everyday, vespa please fix the problem,
i used to think i could bear this lag, but i cant ,i just cant, after 5+ times game crashing everyday,my patient is losing . you say u are fixing it every maintenance,but what is this BXXX SXXX?all i could see it you are trying your best to grab money from my wallet(well u FXXXING successed),and the promise you made to fix the lag never ever ..........
sorry for my bad Chiglish, but./......"

I'm not a developer of the game, but this pisses me off. The guy wants fixes on the "lag"; which lag?? latency?? FPS?? random freezes??; while giving absolutely ZERO details on the "lag" AND accusing the company of stealing money without doing sh-t, which is not true as far as I can tell in-game. So, I instinctively waltzed in and ranted at how sh-t the report is in detail, and accused him of inhibiting the game's development because of his sh-t report, and he replied with this (I told him I'm a game dev in the reply I mentioned):
"[sic]as a person who made this game should know what lag is just like u know what fuk is as a human being,and i said game crash ,thats the best way i could explain as a normal player not like you an arrogant indie game dev!and if u cant understand what course the game crash,as a player like me how could i know, thats the reason im asking for help here,and i hope they dont have such indie game dev like you who doesnt know lag(game crash)"

M-th-rf-ck-r. For the first time, I see true ignorance. While writing this, I'm typing my next reply for the m-th-rf-ck-r that lacks common sense on reporting a bug. For f-ck sake if I found him I'll put a bullet through his head.

Teamleading apprentice reporting in.
Today our new frontend employee told me our app wont start. I have wasted 90 minutes figuring out somebody installed an older node version via remote. Turned out the head of our administration thought: mhm it has been more than three weeks since they reported they had problems on the new frontend employee pc, lets check it out.

He did not inform anybody, not the user of the pc, me or the head of our IT department.

Team of 2 developers expected to build a new company website with a dashboard to manage it without having to know development, an internal social media management dashboard, and a phone number provisioning/call reporting dashboard for both clients and internal. All while managing the normal day to day workflow of working for a digital marketing agency. Expected in 7 weeks.

The only thing worse than client QA is client vendor QA.

I do QA for a company that does custom implementations of a major e-commerce platform. On one of my current projects, the customer has elected to outsource their UAT, and isn't willing to wait for the site (or even individual features) to be complete before starting testing, so I've been triaging a lot of silly tickets. But today took the cake.

This system allows users to save their credit card info. The vendor QA guy filed a ticket "reporting" that if he saved a cc with a given number, then created a new cc record with the same number but a different expiration date, the original record was overwritten, rather than a new record being created.

I just stared at the thing for like five minutes, gathering the mental strength to reply with something other than "you're an idiot."

Me start reporting at Standup about my recent work. My Teamleader start talking the same time, saying he has seen the commits and I don't have to go into details anymore.
Thank you asshole for disrespecting me and my work.

Issues with google authentication cookies. Many 3rd party applications (like mindmup etc.) have already reported. Me too so many times.

Today I'm logged in with my google account. But !!! when I try to review a business on google search result or map, they're not able to sign me in.

:faceplam:

Google doesn't like feedback or error reporting.

The biggest problem with error reporting is that devrant closes android exception form before I can actually send that data...

Another vendor just sabotage our launch!

Only reporting a bug to C-level a minite before offical launch. 😡 Had to put our servers at maintenance mode immediately.

Need some opinions, what error reporting tool do you guys use? I used bugsnag before. Now I found a bunch of them I can't seem to decide which one to go for. Thanks in advance 😣😣

I've just spent 4 hours trying to fix a bug on prod. that can be fixed in 30 secs. At the end I remembered that I should check the error log. FML (error reporting turned off, logs only)

Same user. One profile was loaded, one was not. Look and see. A reload of the rant fixed it. Idk if it's a bug. I'm reporting it anyway.

Coolest project.... SharePoint sucks, so I wrote an app to extend it into something that is useful.

The app consists of:
- a custom SharePoint event receiver to maintain a custom retention setup
- a custom feature to enable users to tag documents as related to each other
- a custom search experience with custom views and previews
- a .Net windows service to sync the data into a SQL database
- a .Net MVC application to manage the reporting and notifications system
- a notifications system in .Net
- custom SharePoint approval workflow
- a PHP site that maintains a full backup of every document in the event that SharePoint goes down

I was the only developer on the entire project and while I asked for backup they never provided it. So if anything happens to me... And since I am a good dev, my code is self documenting and someone will need to telepathically link to me to find out the multiple places that all of this is running (like five different servers including both windows and Linux).

The whole thing, I have about 18 months invested into it ;)

Open space offices and effort reporting with with vert high level of detail.

If I am reporting bug ... Why would I report bug of some other device's ROM in this thread...

The NPC has stated that the personal data of atleast 2000 people was leaked after the attacks on the websites of the philippinian goverment on april 1, the data contains; names,adresses,passwords and school data.

Over 7 administrators of schools, universities and other goverment structures have been called out for not reporting on the leakage of personal info on public facebook groups and violaton of the NPC in under 72 hours.

The representatives of the next structures stood before the comission on the 23 and 24 of april

- Taguig City University

- Department of Education offices in Bacoor City and Calamba City

- the Province of Bulacan

- Philippine Carabao Center

- Republic Central Colleges in Angeles City

- Laguna State Polytechnic University

The agency has reported that none of the organisations had notified about the personal info leakage yet.

This is a good reminder that you should inform about security/personal info breaches everyone that might be related to it as soon as possible, even if it seems unecessary.

Mongo client for important analytical data reporting was configured with write concern 0 since 2012.

It's a master replica setup...

suggestion for @dfox: two-step reporting! I accidentally reported a comment once. Finger hit the wrong spot. A confirmation would have kept me from making more moderation work.

The joy of ops - when the customer says "my reporting environment isn't fast enough - can I get my reports from the production environment?" and we've specifically created the reporting environment for insulating the system from performance-hogging queries...

Was watching OITNB at home when boss called sounded urgent about SSL not working on one of our subdomains. We use a paid cloud app for some of our reports which. So the subdomain is a CNAME to the providers app subdomain. Recently there was an upgrade at our hosting but it shouldn't be related.

Boss: Hey, there is an error prompt when I visit our reporting site with https
Me: That's cos we never installed any SSL cert for that subdomain.
Boss: Well it worked before and you will need to get it fixed.
Me: Wait.. It worked before? How is that possible? We've never set it up and the subdomain is a CNAME pointing to another site which we don't own. The cert will have to load from their server and we have not done any setup with them.
Boss: I'm very sure it worked before the hosting upgrades. All along our customers has been accessing with https.
Me: Okay.... That's something new because and I am pretty SURE the last I checked, the app provider doesn't allow that yet.
* meanwhile I when to search the app provider docs and it says not able to support multiple SSL yet for CNAME
Me: Look, it says so here in the docs.
Boss: Ok, can you try to fix it as its important for the users to not see that error. It has been working all along.
Me: Hmmmm... I'll get back to you.

How do I fix something that didn't exist / broken?? How did it work before??

I know it can be possible to install the cert on the cloud provider end but we haven't done this before. And their support docs says feature not available yet.

Was it magic?? Am I missing something?? Anyway, I've sent an email to the provider's support team and telling them "it worked before"

* Canonical Data Models for Metrics and Reporting
* ETL, Table, and API designs to blend Legacy data into Cloud data via said Canonical Models
* Teaching n-Tier and Domain Driven Development models

Welcome to the Office of the CIO.

Back when I was starting out in a full stack role, I worked on a fairly big chunk of functionality that would trigger off a few entry points. It was wonderful for a few months. As we approached go live, our QA team started reporting weird intermittent issues. The logic wouldn't "trigger" the first time, but would on subsequent saves. Worse yet, the state required resetting of data every time we needed to test. Three weeks later, it boiled down to a 2 second time difference between the database's GETDATE() values and the new Date() object we passed in from our application.

I'll never forget that one system should be the source of truth again.

Report in CMSC 178 is coming up next. Reporting about the Ontology of Spine Diseases. I'm really nervous and I always overthink and I'm so anxious about how they percieve me

qemu-img keeps on reporting error:
Could not open 'some-qcow2-img': No such file or directory

Why you waste me 2 hours for troubleshooting instead of telling me it's the backing file that could not be found?

Grrrrrrr!!!!!!! How you frustrate me SQL SERVER REPORTING SERVICES! Designing a report changed query on dataset to include new field, fields started displaying all sorts of random stuff, booleans in text fields etc. Just spent 20 mins "checking" by rebuilding the first few bits of report and first dataset it's something weird with SSRS. Bye bye Sunday evening!!!

I don't understand why corporate waste so much money on agile training they know that doesn't gonna improve performance of developer at all. Instead of it decreases his performance because of so many annoying meeting and reporting

As a full stack reporting developer; I take numbers and draw pictures with them.

I want to ask for your opinion guys, because I don't know if I am right or wrong.

So, some days ago, my brother sent me some code to check out for an automation that he does for testing purposes, since he's a QA (I am a programmer). He should be able to send XML data to a server and depending on the process that he tests, the data is different every time. I saw a strange thing, he hardcodes the XML tags and concatenates them with data which I find stupid. So I proposed him to use a template to generate XML data, because I think it's more flexible and easier, making data and presentation separate. That way if in the future he wants to start using JSON he could do it in no time. I made the code in a separate file which he imports and uses it's functions (they are two so no need for classes) and uses them to load the template and render it as he passes the data as a hash table. He insists that concatenating data and XML tags is easier and simpler and I can't wrap my mind how could that be true. I gave him an example in which the data structure for a process is changed and he have to open the file and change the XML tags or the structure and he still says that's simpler.

What is the right decision in this situation. Keep in mind that I simplified the process a lot and it actually involves sending the data and reporting the results, but they are not important here since I am talking only about generating data.